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Speaker 1: Andy Reid, Welcome to the podcast.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me. Paul. How are you?

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Speaker 1: I am very good.

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Speaker 3: I will be all the better in about a week

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Speaker 3: when I submit my pH d.

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Speaker 1: Finally, how long has that taken you?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: For four years.

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Speaker 3: But I've had a bit of a false start because

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Speaker 3: I started doing and something else and the end that,

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Speaker 3: for certain reasons didn't happen, so I then started again.

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Speaker 3: So I've got a made of mind, who goes, fucking hell,

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Speaker 3: you've been doing a PhD forever?

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Speaker 2: Seems to be the way right with that PhD carry on?

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Speaker 2: I mean, look, it's far too educated for me, for

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Speaker 2: the likes a little of me, but for the consistence, persistence,

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Speaker 2: I think you should get one, just for persisting with it. Man,

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Speaker 2: it's so impressive to see people that have just got

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Speaker 2: the have just the resolve to survive it, right, It's

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Speaker 2: very impressive.

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Speaker 3: Well, often, you know, people take a long time. I

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Speaker 3: know people have taken seventy eight years, but now UNIS

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Speaker 3: and UNIS used to be quite happy with that, but

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Speaker 3: now I think there's pressure a lot of pressure to

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Speaker 3: finish on time, and I think the government has tied

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Speaker 3: funding to that, which then drives behavior. Of course, I

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Speaker 3: officially have a month left, but I want to get

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Speaker 3: it in before then. No, I mean, we're not here

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Speaker 3: to talk about my PhD, you and your book. But

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Speaker 3: we before we get into that, we were just chating beforehand.

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Speaker 3: We were both dragged here, kicking and screaming by our

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Speaker 3: better halves, right.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, clearly against clearly against our will, clearly.

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Speaker 3: And held here against our Jesus and blight. He's having

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Speaker 3: a bit of a shocker at the minute, isn't it.

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Speaker 2: Honestly, But I'm so glad to be this far away.

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Speaker 2: To be honest, I went back in July to visit family.

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Speaker 2: I had a grandparent of that sort of run her

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Speaker 2: time in the sun and passed away, and it was

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Speaker 2: I don't get attached to places that much, but when

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Speaker 2: I went home and walked around where I was brought

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Speaker 2: up and where I grew up, you know, played football

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Speaker 2: as a kid or soccer in Australia as a kid,

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Speaker 2: you know, in the park, local park, and that to

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Speaker 2: see the state that it's gotten to, I just could

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Speaker 2: feel myself getting tangibly upset. It's just it makes me

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Speaker 2: feel so grateful, even with the ridiculous amounts of traffic

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Speaker 2: that we have to copy here in Melbourne, and it

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Speaker 2: still makes me feel so so grateful to be here.

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Speaker 2: It makes me feel incredibly grateful to have kids that

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Speaker 2: are getting brought up here as opposed to there. You know,

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Speaker 2: it's it's never lost on us, right, how lucky we are.

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Speaker 3: Really absolutely, And look I often say that in workshops

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Speaker 3: actually when we talk about gratitude, and I say most

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Speaker 3: most immigrants like us who live in Australia are like, Okay,

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Speaker 3: the hell this place is just amazing. Honestly, when I

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Speaker 3: hear when I hear Australians complaining, I think to myself,

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Speaker 3: fuck off to a third world country for a year,

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Speaker 3: and or I couldn't.

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Speaker 2: Live in or go or go or go visit Derby

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Speaker 2: for a week and see what it's really all about,

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Speaker 2: you know, Western civilization apparently not indeed.

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Speaker 1: But anyway, let's let's get back. Now you've had a

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Speaker 1: wide and varied career.

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Speaker 3: There's a potential suggestion there may be a bit of

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Speaker 3: idiotsy going on there, but talk, what do.

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Speaker 2: You mean potentially I might as well have it tattooed

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Speaker 2: across my forehead.

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Speaker 3: To be honest, it's only because I see overtones of myself.

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Speaker 2: And yeah yeah.

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Speaker 3: So to talk us through your career and then we

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Speaker 3: will start to talk about the book and your podcast.

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Speaker 2: Yeah sure. So I originally engineering educated, so I've got

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Speaker 2: a degree in mechanical manufacturing engineering, but it was boring

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Speaker 2: as batshit, so I decided to get people drunk for

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Speaker 2: a living instead. I made the conscious not a lot

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Speaker 2: of people fall into hospitality. I actually made the conscious

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Speaker 2: decision to leave engineering and go into hospitality full time,

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Speaker 2: and so ran bars and restaurants and big venues. So

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Speaker 2: I'll let you know, before I was a Newcastle supporter,

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Speaker 2: I actually ran the the alcohol side and the drink

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Speaker 2: side of Sir James's Park for a time, which was incredible.

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Speaker 3: Really, so just for our just for our listeners, the

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Speaker 3: uneducated park is Newcastle United, which is a big football

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Speaker 3: club soccer club for the Aussies, a big one in

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Speaker 3: the UK. It's a massive club actually, and they just

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Speaker 3: we were talking about this before we come on. They

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Speaker 3: just won their first domestic trophy in over seventeen years.

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Speaker 3: And there's been Jordan's all around the worded and floods

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Speaker 3: of tears.

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Speaker 2: Me included, man, me included. I had lots of people

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Speaker 2: in Sydney kind of wondering if I'd had a mental

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Speaker 2: breakdown when I was crying into my porridge or my

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Speaker 2: oats or whatever it was at breakfast in restaurants and

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Speaker 2: things like that. It was an emotional time. But anyway,

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Speaker 2: so yeah, so around the bars I ran. I was

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Speaker 2: a bar manager there for a while and then looked

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Speaker 2: after a couple of hotels, ran a vocabar in London,

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Speaker 2: and then like yourself man met an Australian lady who

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Speaker 2: who swindled me over here kicking and screaming, and fell

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Speaker 2: in love with fell in love with Melbourne, fell in

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Speaker 2: love with Australia. And her father was a director of

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Speaker 2: a real estate firm. So I was actual approcess of

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Speaker 2: getting sponsored by a telecommunications firm. But he said, look,

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Speaker 2: I think you'd be good in real estate. And that

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Speaker 2: was over dinner. So I said, all right, well, if

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Speaker 2: I'm shit, been me and there'll be no hard feelings,

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Speaker 2: and discovered quite quickly, I'll say quite quickly. It took

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Speaker 2: a little while, but eventually discovered that life can be

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Speaker 2: really easy if you're just, if you're just true to

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Speaker 2: who you are, and and so off the back of that,

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Speaker 2: I ended up being quite successful in the real estate space,

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Speaker 2: sort of selling sixty to ninety homes a year and

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Speaker 2: going really quite well. But then fell in love with

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Speaker 2: the craft of auctioneering and again my father in my

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Speaker 2: former father in law, who I owe a lot too,

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Speaker 2: threw me into an auction as the auctioneer with two

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Speaker 2: weeks notice and it became an addiction straight away, not

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Speaker 2: for the attention, but just for the freedom that the

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Speaker 2: pressure brought into my mind. It was just that spot

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Speaker 2: they're nowhere to hide, complete spontaneity situation that I just

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Speaker 2: fell in love with, and off the back of that,

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Speaker 2: became obsessed with the craft of auctioneering. In twenty seventeen

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Speaker 2: started my own auctionineering business which is still running today.

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Speaker 2: I do between sort of four to five hundred options

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Speaker 2: a year in Melbourne real estate options that is what

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Speaker 2: the auctions and one of the most statistically one of

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Speaker 2: the most active auctioneers in Melbourne. In twenty twenty two,

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Speaker 2: was lucky enough, was fortunate enough to be named the

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Speaker 2: number number one auctioneer in Australia. Which big mouth, my

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Speaker 2: big mouth and an accent. You knows it covers all

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Speaker 2: sorts of inadequacies. It really really does, and.

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Speaker 1: You've you've just summed up my career essentially.

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Speaker 2: Honestly, if people actually listen paid attention to what it

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Speaker 2: is that I'd say that, I said, I'd have very

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Speaker 2: little credibility. I think so. But the accent just lets

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Speaker 2: me get away with all sorts, which is so much fun. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: So twenty twenty two was fortunate to win that. I've

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Speaker 2: been into the sales and coaching and whatnot. Originally I

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Speaker 2: didn't want to because I came out of real estate

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Speaker 2: sales because my auctioneering business sort of really kicked on.

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Speaker 2: And then in twenty twenty actually, ironically, when I couldn't

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Speaker 2: do any auctions, my career really sort of kicked on.

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Speaker 2: Because it was a couple of days after mister Morrison

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Speaker 2: locked us all away in Melbourne in the March, when

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Speaker 2: I just woke up at two thirty in the morning

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Speaker 2: and said to her, then, why it's probably one of

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Speaker 2: the reasons why she's not my wife anymore. I woke

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Speaker 2: up at two thirty in the morning and woke her

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Speaker 2: up and just said, look, I've got to I've got

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Speaker 2: to do a live show. And then I created this

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Speaker 2: little show during COVID called The silver Lining, which was

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Speaker 2: which had a purpose of maintaining connection in a disconnected society,

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Speaker 2: and just did live interviews three times a day, seven

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Speaker 2: days a week. And yeah, and then yeah, which was interesting.

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Speaker 2: When I had to go back to England not long after,

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Speaker 2: I decided to kick off with it for some family reason,

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Speaker 2: so I was doing it in different time zone for

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Speaker 2: a little while as well. And yeah, and off the

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Speaker 2: back of that, just gained a whole bunch of notoriety

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Speaker 2: within the real estate space and as a result went

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Speaker 2: into the coaching side. Was a national head of training

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Speaker 2: for a major franchise group across Australia and New Zealand

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Speaker 2: for a couple of years. And now I run a

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Speaker 2: podcast and help people to help make success more accessible

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Speaker 2: for more humans. That's that's my whole purpose for being.

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Speaker 2: And and I'm very very fortunate that off the back

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Speaker 2: of my hospitality, my engineering, my real estate, my sales,

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Speaker 2: my networking career, it's just all sort of come together

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Speaker 2: and helped me to help a load of people, which

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Speaker 2: is which is really cool. I find myself to be

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Speaker 2: really fortunate.

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Speaker 1: Very cool. And you've now I written a book.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and we actually share share a publishers. Who's awesome,

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Speaker 3: Leslie Yes? And your books success aious? So why the focus?

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Speaker 3: And you've got a podcast called High Performance People? Why

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Speaker 3: the focus on success and high performance?

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Speaker 2: Because what I've discovered, especially over the last couple of years,

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Speaker 2: but it really has come into a massive focus when

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Speaker 2: this whole book writing process came into being. I've written

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Speaker 2: the podcast as well. I've really discovered that the majority

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Speaker 2: of the world really has a problem with the whole

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Speaker 2: concept and feeling of success because it's not I don't

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Speaker 2: blame social media. I blame the way in which humans

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Speaker 2: are using social media in the way that this human

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Speaker 2: highlight reel. But it's it's really created a chasm between

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Speaker 2: the haves and the perceived have nots, and the perception

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Speaker 2: of success is becoming so bastardized, for want of a

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Speaker 2: better word, to the point where someone needs to try

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Speaker 2: and simplify all of this for people, right, And that's

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Speaker 2: what I've decided to try and take on. Whenever you

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Speaker 2: look at things like personal development and professional development courses

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Speaker 2: and all these things, you know you get rich quick

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Speaker 2: courses and all that sort of jazz that you see

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Speaker 2: banding around all the time, and even when you look

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Speaker 2: at some incredible literature, like you know, really world renowned literature.

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Speaker 2: You know your for hour work weeks, your atomic habits,

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Speaker 2: all those sorts of things, all those books, all your

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Speaker 2: Tony Robins stuff. For a lot of people, they get

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Speaker 2: inspired for a very short period of time and then

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Speaker 2: they just sort of drift back to the norm. And

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Speaker 2: I don't think that it's necessarily their fault. I feel

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Speaker 2: that the information hasn't been made to feel relatable enough

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Speaker 2: two individuals, or if you're looking at it the other way,

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Speaker 2: I don't feel that individuals have been given the the

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Speaker 2: knowledge and the awareness and the artillery to be able

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Speaker 2: to consume any personal development information in a way that

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Speaker 2: befits their life. So this success curious book that I

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Speaker 2: put together, which was harder than climbing a mountain for

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Speaker 2: someone who is riddled with ADHD, that was so difficult,

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Speaker 2: and god knows how you're doing it with a PhD.

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Speaker 2: I have no idea. I just feel that because at

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Speaker 2: first I was always trying to be a thought leader,

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Speaker 2: this whole thought and being in this notion of being

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Speaker 2: a thought leader. Man, it used to do my head

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Speaker 2: in because I'm like, I believe that I'm intelligent and

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Speaker 2: believe I believe that I can simplify things in a

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Speaker 2: really good way for people that they can understand and consume.

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Speaker 2: But I had no original ideas, like the ideas that

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Speaker 2: I came up with. It was a little bit like

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Speaker 2: there's a million people that came up with Uber before

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Speaker 2: Uber came up with Uber, right, and I was one

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Speaker 2: of them, And it used to put a chip on

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Speaker 2: my shoulder where now I've discovered my purpose for being

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Speaker 2: on this planet is not to be the person that

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Speaker 2: sings a brand new idea from the rooftops, because I

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Speaker 2: haven't got enough of an ego to be able to

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Speaker 2: do that. But I'm the guy that's got enough brain

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Speaker 2: power to be able to make it feasible for people

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Speaker 2: to understand.

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Speaker 3: That's a very interesting that you say that, right, because

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Speaker 3: I am I call myself a pro academic, which means.

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Speaker 1: That I like to read all.

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Speaker 3: The geeky academic research and then turn it into tools

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Speaker 3: and solutions that normal people can use on a daily basis.

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Speaker 3: And my space just happens to be around the resilience

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Speaker 3: and hardiness and well being space, right, But very interesting

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Speaker 3: some of your observations because you know that whole drive

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Speaker 3: to be a thought leader and to come up with

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Speaker 3: original stuff, right. But then you realize that a lot

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Speaker 3: of the in inverted commas thought leaders are just reparroting

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Speaker 3: other people's stuff and often.

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Speaker 1: Not crediting them with it right time.

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Speaker 3: And that pisss me off because I will always reference

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Speaker 3: people in my talks. You know, part part of that

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Speaker 3: is having that academic background where you say this person

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Speaker 3: and then you interpret it right.

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Speaker 1: But the amount of people are particularly influencers.

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Speaker 3: In my space that I see talking about concepts that

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Speaker 3: are clearly from someone else, but having complete ownership of

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Speaker 3: those concepts is just.

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Speaker 1: And it really infuriates because I'm like, you've just.

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Speaker 3: Ripped that person right off, given them no credit whatsoever,

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Speaker 3: and you're building yourself up.

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Speaker 1: On a lie.

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Speaker 2: Oh it's mad man. And you could take it a

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Speaker 2: couple of steps further and argue that the poor ancient

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Speaker 2: Greek stoics and philosophers would be turning in their graves

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Speaker 2: if they saw how many people were commoditizing their their stuff, right,

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Speaker 2: like realistically, right, you look at your Aristotles, your Plato's,

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Speaker 2: your senecas and all those all those insanely intelligent minds

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Speaker 2: that that are just being translated and put into something

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Speaker 2: that's got some sexy packaging around it and then and

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Speaker 2: then fed out there for the masses to consume. You know,

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Speaker 2: it's just I couldn't agree with you more. I'm I

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Speaker 2: and I don't. I didn't do it on purpose. I

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Speaker 2: didn't do it intentionally at first. It was just something

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Speaker 2: that I did. I just like to give people their

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Speaker 2: their their their flowers right to quote a modern day

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Speaker 2: sort of parlance, like Rick Rushton, who's one of my mentors.

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Speaker 2: It was one of my He was my original mentor.

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Speaker 2: Like I talk about him in the book more, he's

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Speaker 2: you know, I talk about some of my stories and

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Speaker 2: he's the second he's like the second most mentioned person

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Speaker 2: in my book because of what he's taught me. And

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Speaker 2: I know and when he's taught me. He's been telling

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Speaker 2: me about the fact that Jim Roan was him his

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Speaker 2: mental right, yeh. And he quote any and he references

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Speaker 2: Jim Ron's stuff and he always credits you back to

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Speaker 2: Jim Ron. So I guess he's sort of conditioned me

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Speaker 2: to do that. And I refer to myself as one

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Speaker 2: of his disciples, right, you know, And I'm happy to be.

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Speaker 2: I'm happy to be because realistically, man, is there's could

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Speaker 2: you argue that there's no such thing as an original idea?

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Speaker 2: Could you argue.

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Speaker 3: That, yeah, that that is that is that is a

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Speaker 3: very interesting concept, right, because that there's so much stuff

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Speaker 3: that people come up with that has been thought about before.

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Speaker 1: Because and and you know.

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Speaker 3: Particularly in that spiace of psychology and psychology well being,

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Speaker 3: that whole space, like you know, people can up with stuff. Actually,

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Speaker 3: cognitive behavior therapy to to take a point, right, which

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Speaker 3: is one of the third way of therapies, and and

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Speaker 3: and and a pretty successful one.

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Speaker 1: But when you look at the.

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Speaker 3: Origins of cognitive behavior therapy, it was created by Ellison

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Speaker 3: Beck in the fifties and the sixties, and a lot

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Speaker 3: of it was based on Stoic philosophy, right, historics popping

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Speaker 3: up again but again not credited to the Stoics, right,

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Speaker 3: which is the little thing that annoys me. But that

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Speaker 3: that's let's circle back.

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Speaker 1: Into your your book.

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Speaker 3: And so with that success curious, is there anything I'm

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Speaker 3: sure there are lots of things, right, but the stuff

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Speaker 3: that you have noticed consistent traits of successful people or

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Speaker 3: or our habits or behaviors that seem to be reasonably

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Speaker 3: consistent that normal human beings can take can run with.

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Speaker 2: Well. The serial box answer for that is consistency and

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Speaker 2: hard work and all those sorts of Like I said,

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Speaker 2: I refer to a serial box words you get a

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Speaker 2: free gift in a box of cereal, right, And it's

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Speaker 2: generally one of them. The one the one trait that

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Speaker 2: screams out to me, and it's been a lot of

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Speaker 2: the time it's been with the podcast as well, is

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Speaker 2: that successful human beings they know who they are, like

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Speaker 2: to their DNA like, they know exactly who they are,

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Speaker 2: and they are comfortable with who they are. Right. And

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Speaker 2: it kind of relates to something a theory that I love,

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Speaker 2: I fell in love with when I did some research

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Speaker 2: around it for the book. It's called Self Determination Theory.

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Speaker 3: AH by Jackie and Ryan. The second the second guest

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Speaker 3: my podcast was Professor Richard Ryant, and I made I

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Speaker 3: kid you not, and I disclosed on her that I

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Speaker 3: have a man crush on him. So much stuff about

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Speaker 3: self determination theory has massively influenced.

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Speaker 1: And me personally.

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Speaker 3: But a lot of the work that I do with

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Speaker 3: with with people that's just a little little aside, right, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and brilliant, absolutely brilliant. I was very sorry, lucky to

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Speaker 3: do a four hour workshop with him and and managed

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Speaker 3: to get a photograph with him afterwards, which in very

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Speaker 3: per but he was he was great on the podcast.

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Speaker 1: That is so very happy to come on the podcast.

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Speaker 2: That is so cool. Well, So, the way that I've

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Speaker 2: sort of related it to or interpreted interpreted it to

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Speaker 2: the people that I've met, is that the autonomy piece

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Speaker 2: and the competence piece are pretty straightforward. It's that word element.

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Speaker 2: It's that relatedness that a lot of people, as far

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Speaker 2: as what I can see, have really really can't manage

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Speaker 2: to get. They don't manage to achieve, they don't manage

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Speaker 2: to understand and realize, right because I think that and

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Speaker 2: I think a lot of it is to do with

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Speaker 2: the fact that the world has become so noisy, that

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Speaker 2: people are being influenced by all sorts of different things

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Speaker 2: so much of the time. And you could, and it's

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Speaker 2: becoming so apparent now that your gen zs and your

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Speaker 2: gen alphers they're really struggling to discover their own identity

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Speaker 2: because there's so much noise that they're not being not

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Speaker 2: able to create the space around themselves to figure out

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Speaker 2: who the hell they are and and a lot of

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Speaker 2: that boils down to the fact that people talk about

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Speaker 2: values and nauseum, and you see it especially in a

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Speaker 2: corporate in the corporate landscape where like I said, values

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Speaker 2: are seen as sales pictures as opposed to DNA understanding

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Speaker 2: as to who one is and how one rolls. And

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Speaker 2: I feel that the people that are a genuinely successful

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Speaker 2: they are successful because of the fact that they know

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Speaker 2: to the core who the hell they are. And I think.

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Speaker 3: The word that jumps into my mind when you were

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Speaker 3: talking about that is authenticity. And I think people can

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Speaker 3: smell authenticity, and they can smell when people are being inauthentic.

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Speaker 1: After sometimes after a while. Yeah, but but I do.

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Speaker 3: Agree with you that those the people who are really

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Speaker 3: successful like they are authentic. They know who they are

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Speaker 3: and they behear in a way that's consistent.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but you said that, you said that you can

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Speaker 2: smell authenticity. I personally feel that that that term has

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Speaker 2: been completely ripped to shreds by the by the corporate landscape,

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Speaker 2: and because a lot of people have now turned that

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Speaker 2: into something that they sell, like, if you are authentic,

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Speaker 2: then by definition, you should not need to sell it.

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Speaker 2: It's a bit like in a sales analogy, right, It's

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Speaker 2: a bit like the challenge between confidence and convincing. Right,

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Speaker 2: So if you're not being authentic, then you feel that

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Speaker 2: you have to convince people of who you are, what

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Speaker 2: you're about, your wares, if you're selling or whatever. I

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Speaker 2: actually said this in a talk yesterday in Adelaide that

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Speaker 2: I actually believe that if you are confident in who

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Speaker 2: you are, right ergo authentic in who you are, then

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Speaker 2: you should never need to convince anyone about anything, because

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Speaker 2: it just is is a statement of fact, right And

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Speaker 2: in the real estate space, which is inherently one of

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Speaker 2: the least trusted professions in the world, right, you know,

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Speaker 2: and by reputation, one of the least authentic, I actually

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Speaker 2: found it to be very very easy because I didn't

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Speaker 2: have to make an excuse as to who I was.

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Speaker 2: I was who I was, and just by doing that,

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Speaker 2: and again it wasn't by any any major level of intention.

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Speaker 2: I just did it because it seemed to work, and

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Speaker 2: people couldn't question me because it was just so obvious

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Speaker 2: that I was just being who I was who I was,

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Speaker 2: and I happened to have the information that helped people

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Speaker 2: to make big steps, make a step forward.

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Speaker 3: Right, And I think that that plays into relatedness, right,

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Speaker 3: I'll see that that that and especially I think in

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Speaker 3: any seals environment, people who naturally relate to others and

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Speaker 3: can build relationships and rapport with others naturally tend to

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Speaker 3: do very very well in seals environments because it's not forced.

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Speaker 3: It's it's it is more it's authentic rather than than

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Speaker 3: forced or or are are created. And again you can

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Speaker 3: fucking smell like you know what I love is when

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Speaker 3: I'm talking to you, and I've done this with real

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Speaker 3: estate agents and other seals people, is that I'll just

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Speaker 3: notice that they're starting to mimic my and then I

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Speaker 3: and then I'll start to funk around with it.

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Speaker 2: Stop and stuff.

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Speaker 1: I'll sort of cross my arms and then stand a certain.

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Speaker 2: Way and then just then do and then moving and.

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Speaker 4: I'm just thinking, you fucking you, honestly, that's just a

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Speaker 4: complete misunderstanding of of of basically CBT all right and

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Speaker 4: and and n LP.

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Speaker 2: It just yeah, they learn it, like like I said,

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Speaker 2: they learn it off a back of a cereal box

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Speaker 2: and think that that's correct, and without really understanding what

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00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:56,040
Speaker 2: it's about. And and and that's and the and the

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Speaker 2: problem is when it comes to sales based industry is

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Speaker 2: that because unfortunately or fortunately unfortunately, depending on how you

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Speaker 2: look at it, the one true barometer for success is

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Speaker 2: financial gain, right, it's commissioned, right. That's the only realistic

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Speaker 2: barometer for success in a sales BUSI is ultimately I'll

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Speaker 2: be sold enough, right. And for a lot of people

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Speaker 2: that creates so much fear that they fear being who

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Speaker 2: they are because if they are who they are, then

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Speaker 2: they're concerned that people are going to judge them for

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Speaker 2: who they are and as a result of that not

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Speaker 2: give them the business. It was really interesting when COVID.

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Speaker 2: I hate referring back to it, but it's a really

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Speaker 2: significant point when we think about how our identities are

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Speaker 2: attached to our jobs and our roles. When the lockdown

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Speaker 2: officially started or officially kicked into gear, I was on

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Speaker 2: the phone till like three am with real estate agents

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Speaker 2: who until that point you would have thought they were

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Speaker 2: made a teflon rights. Nothing stuck right. There were smooth

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Speaker 2: as silk, and they were calling me in a panic

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Speaker 2: because all of a sudden, they had their identities ripped

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Speaker 2: away from them, and it made it very very It

437
00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:14,160
Speaker 2: made a very very interesting dynamic out of nowhere where

438
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:16,480
Speaker 2: all of a sudden, everyone's going, shit, I don't know

439
00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:20,760
Speaker 2: who I am, and it was really interesting. So and

440
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:23,639
Speaker 2: that sort of actually that's where the idea of the

441
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:27,520
Speaker 2: book actually started. The seed was planted at three, you know,

442
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:29,399
Speaker 2: in that sort of two three am in the morning,

443
00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:32,480
Speaker 2: when I'm having this conversation constantly with agent after agent

444
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:34,600
Speaker 2: after agent saying Andy, like, what do we do? How

445
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:36,159
Speaker 2: do we And it wasn't a case of what do

446
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:40,040
Speaker 2: we do in terms of logistics, it was like what

447
00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:43,399
Speaker 2: do I do with myself? What am I supposed to like?

448
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:46,760
Speaker 2: And it was just so weird some of these people

449
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:50,000
Speaker 2: that you'd thought were emotion less that were crying down

450
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:55,080
Speaker 2: the phone, right, very very strange, very very strange. So yeah,

451
00:26:55,119 --> 00:26:58,159
Speaker 2: so that's that's essentially some elements of the book that

452
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:00,720
Speaker 2: I really sort of like to dig into, and what

453
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:04,639
Speaker 2: I've discovered having written it is because of where I

454
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:07,879
Speaker 2: like to see myself, you know, much like much like

455
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:12,600
Speaker 2: yourself in the work that you do. It's been the

456
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:14,840
Speaker 2: books that it's been really cool the books sort of

457
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,840
Speaker 2: being described as the is the precursor to any personal

458
00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:21,320
Speaker 2: development that anyone wants to do, and it sort of

459
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:24,240
Speaker 2: gives people that extra degree of a foundation that allows

460
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:26,200
Speaker 2: them to actually understand who the hell they are before

461
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:29,119
Speaker 2: they go womening into any of this personal development stuff.

462
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:32,640
Speaker 3: That I'm going to take this conversation in a way

463
00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:34,359
Speaker 3: and a place that I didn't think that I was

464
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:37,520
Speaker 3: going to take this conversation. Right well, I'm going to

465
00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:43,240
Speaker 3: talk about religion right nice, nice, with the backdrop of

466
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:48,080
Speaker 3: I am a self confessed recovering Catholic. It's been in

467
00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:54,160
Speaker 3: recovery for thirty years and forty years actually, I've been

468
00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:59,960
Speaker 3: in recovery. But and I'm not a fan of religion. Actually,

469
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:04,399
Speaker 3: let me qualify that I'm not a fan of religious institutions.

470
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:06,080
Speaker 2: Okay, but.

471
00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:11,119
Speaker 3: I would say, and I've been thinking about this more

472
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:16,520
Speaker 3: and more, and this existential vacuum that seems to be

473
00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:22,960
Speaker 3: accelerating around us and with people with loss of meaning

474
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:26,359
Speaker 3: and purpose, and and just doing a number of workshops

475
00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:28,600
Speaker 3: in the last couple of weeks and and on the

476
00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:31,840
Speaker 3: topic of meaning and purpose and asking people you know.

477
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:33,880
Speaker 1: Who has a clearly defined sense.

478
00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:36,640
Speaker 3: Of meaning and purpose in their lives, and just how

479
00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:38,720
Speaker 3: little hands actually go up.

480
00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:41,520
Speaker 1: I actually think.

481
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:43,680
Speaker 3: And then again, this is not my idea, but I

482
00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:45,400
Speaker 3: can't I can't remember where I read it, but it

483
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:48,040
Speaker 3: was quite recently, and I actually agree with it that

484
00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:56,080
Speaker 3: the breakdown of religion has actually caused this existential vacuum.

485
00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:59,440
Speaker 3: And so let's let me add some color to that.

486
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:03,360
Speaker 3: And what I mean by that is that you know,

487
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:04,880
Speaker 3: when you were a kid, I don't know if you

488
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:08,959
Speaker 3: went to church at all, whether the real but I

489
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:12,560
Speaker 3: remember I remember going to church, right, and you know

490
00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:15,360
Speaker 3: you'd sit and listen to the gospel or whatever it

491
00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:20,360
Speaker 3: may be, whatever your church is. But what all organized

492
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:23,720
Speaker 3: religions do is there's a number of things.

493
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:24,680
Speaker 1: It's the number one.

494
00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:29,920
Speaker 3: They give a sense of hope, right, But they also

495
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:35,800
Speaker 3: give a set of values for people and a guide

496
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:40,760
Speaker 3: for how to behave and a sense of collective identity

497
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:44,760
Speaker 3: which can be very very powerful.

498
00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:45,160
Speaker 2: Right.

499
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:48,680
Speaker 3: And my my younger brother is still religious, and it's

500
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:52,960
Speaker 3: that that is actually drawing them in not so much, and.

501
00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:55,560
Speaker 1: Some people will will will talk about that.

502
00:29:55,640 --> 00:29:59,680
Speaker 3: But when you take that away, when people are a

503
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:03,360
Speaker 3: there's a fir amount, particularly with Casolicism, of fear and

504
00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:04,920
Speaker 3: brimstone and all that sort of stuff.

505
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:07,120
Speaker 1: But let's let's let's keep that out of it.

506
00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:09,520
Speaker 2: Let's let's keep it. Let's let's not go that heavy

507
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:13,320
Speaker 2: with all that carry on. Let's start talk apocalypse any time.

508
00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:19,160
Speaker 3: But for me, the positives of any organized religion are

509
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:25,680
Speaker 3: that sense of collective identity and giving people's values for

510
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:29,640
Speaker 3: how to behave right and and then that people then

511
00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:31,480
Speaker 3: will tend to behave.

512
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:32,520
Speaker 1: Like that, a lot of them.

513
00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:36,680
Speaker 3: And but then you take that away, and what that

514
00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:40,200
Speaker 3: does is that's created an existential vacuum that people now

515
00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:44,080
Speaker 3: have to do the work to think about who am I,

516
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 3: what sort of a person do I want to be?

517
00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:49,400
Speaker 1: What are my values? What do I want to be

518
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:53,520
Speaker 1: known for? And and just with the work that I do.

519
00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:57,080
Speaker 3: There's so many people who those questions are actually quite

520
00:30:57,080 --> 00:31:01,160
Speaker 3: foreign to them. They actually haven't sat down and given

521
00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:05,280
Speaker 3: that any thought. And then sorry, and I will throw

522
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:08,840
Speaker 3: over to you to then play it back to social media.

523
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 3: In that existential vacuum, people get hooked into.

524
00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:14,560
Speaker 1: These sets of values.

525
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:17,240
Speaker 3: Whether actually see this playing out the United States Republicans

526
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:20,920
Speaker 3: versus Democrats, and we see a lot of young men

527
00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:24,760
Speaker 3: and nigh being sucked into the world of Andrew Tit

528
00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:27,160
Speaker 3: and stuff like that because they don't have that other

529
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:30,200
Speaker 3: sense of identity. And then they get sucked in, and

530
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:35,240
Speaker 3: then they get given a set of values and through osmosis,

531
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:38,320
Speaker 3: almost through social media and the echo chamber.

532
00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:41,720
Speaker 1: Commentary on that.

533
00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:44,600
Speaker 2: It is such a good topic. I love this, So

534
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:50,440
Speaker 2: I'll start with a little story. So my daughter who's

535
00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:57,280
Speaker 2: ten and is scarily emotionally intelligent for ten, right, and

536
00:31:57,440 --> 00:32:00,440
Speaker 2: as a single dad, it does make me nervous for

537
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:05,000
Speaker 2: various reasons. And she asked me one time because there

538
00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:08,640
Speaker 2: were she goes to a Christian school and she but

539
00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:11,120
Speaker 2: she's really into science. She likes asking me stuff about

540
00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 2: space and all the sub jobs, right, And she goes, dad,

541
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:17,840
Speaker 2: you know, and I say yeah. She goes, you know,

542
00:32:18,280 --> 00:32:19,880
Speaker 2: at the Big Bank, we were talking about the Big

543
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:22,880
Speaker 2: Bang theory and I'm like yeah, and you go. She goes,

544
00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:26,040
Speaker 2: so was it the Big Bang theory that created the Earth?

545
00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:30,680
Speaker 2: Or was it God? Right? And I went that' said

546
00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:33,800
Speaker 2: bloody interesting question, that kid, And I said, and I

547
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:36,640
Speaker 2: love having these conversations. She's amazing. It's such a good

548
00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:43,640
Speaker 2: human And I said, well, realistically, Darling, it all boils

549
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:45,560
Speaker 2: down to the word faith, and she goes, what do

550
00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:50,080
Speaker 2: you mean? And I said, because whether it is God

551
00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:52,520
Speaker 2: that you have faith in, or whether it is science

552
00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:57,760
Speaker 2: that you have faith in, Ultimately, every sort of belief system,

553
00:32:57,880 --> 00:33:03,160
Speaker 2: whether it's science, religion, whatever, it all starts with an

554
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:08,400
Speaker 2: element of faith. Right. Science has had has got proof

555
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:13,080
Speaker 2: to a certain point. But then ultimately all proof is

556
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:16,040
Speaker 2: formed on theory, right or for you know, and in

557
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:18,080
Speaker 2: order to form a theory, you have to have faith

558
00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:21,400
Speaker 2: in something before you can form a theory, right so.

559
00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:26,400
Speaker 3: And and with science, proof is not absolute. There's confidence levels.

560
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:29,200
Speaker 2: Exactly how many, how many, how many things did did did?

561
00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:32,440
Speaker 2: Did we believe in until it was proved otherwise? Right,

562
00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:36,520
Speaker 2: you know? So so everything, So I said, look at

563
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:39,360
Speaker 2: irrespective whether you whether you go down science track or

564
00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:41,400
Speaker 2: whether you go down the Bible track, or whatever the

565
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:45,080
Speaker 2: case may be. Ultimately, the amazing, the beautiful thing is

566
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:48,520
Speaker 2: is that you get to select your own faith, what

567
00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:52,200
Speaker 2: your what you your faith is. But the one of

568
00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:55,440
Speaker 2: the things that makes us inherently human is the ability

569
00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:59,320
Speaker 2: to have faith in something whatever that whatever that thing

570
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:02,000
Speaker 2: may be. Now well, when you talk about lack of

571
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:06,080
Speaker 2: identity and lack of purpose, the example that I've been

572
00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:10,279
Speaker 2: giving has been there's been an increasing volume of protests

573
00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:16,080
Speaker 2: going on in the world, right, and take the Palestine protests. Now,

574
00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:19,520
Speaker 2: I am confident and I am hopeful, and I have

575
00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:22,040
Speaker 2: optimism in society that a lot of people that do

576
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:25,680
Speaker 2: these protests are all very very well intentioned, right. But

577
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:28,480
Speaker 2: because they've, like you said, because they've really struggled to

578
00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:31,279
Speaker 2: form their own identity, they are hooking themselves into the

579
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:34,080
Speaker 2: identity of being part of a pack, right, which is

580
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:38,759
Speaker 2: an inherently human thing. And like I said, I'd like

581
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:41,320
Speaker 2: to think that they've all got the best intentions for it. However,

582
00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:44,800
Speaker 2: if you were to take a map of the world

583
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:49,120
Speaker 2: into a group of Palestinian protesters and ask them to

584
00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:53,280
Speaker 2: point out where Palestine is on a map, they couldn't

585
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:55,640
Speaker 2: tell you. They would not be able to tell you

586
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:58,279
Speaker 2: where the gaza strip is on a world map, right.

587
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:01,840
Speaker 2: And And my point I'm making with that is the

588
00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:08,040
Speaker 2: fact that, like you said, we as leaders, as people,

589
00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:12,560
Speaker 2: not thought leaders, but as people that are comfortable enough

590
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:15,080
Speaker 2: to own their universe and own who they are and

591
00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:17,399
Speaker 2: own their position in the world and what have you

592
00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:19,839
Speaker 2: and their map of the world, we have a real

593
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:24,680
Speaker 2: responsibility a massive level of accountability to help people to

594
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:29,920
Speaker 2: understand their own identity in the world. And if we don't,

595
00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:34,040
Speaker 2: and if we just accept that people are who they are,

596
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:39,920
Speaker 2: then we've only got ourselves to blame really as leaders.

597
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:41,520
Speaker 2: Now you can say that you can't change the world

598
00:35:41,560 --> 00:35:44,040
Speaker 2: as one person, You're right, But there are enough people

599
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:46,880
Speaker 2: that do know and own who they are to be

600
00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:49,920
Speaker 2: able to make some sort of a dent in the

601
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:52,640
Speaker 2: way that the world's going. But the problem is the

602
00:35:52,719 --> 00:35:55,400
Speaker 2: fact that at the minute, a lot of us, if

603
00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:58,640
Speaker 2: we're being honest, we're really sitting on the sidelines because

604
00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:01,839
Speaker 2: ultimately we are human beings, and we see people that

605
00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:04,959
Speaker 2: do try and make a difference get shot down via

606
00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:08,040
Speaker 2: a million you know, Andrew Tates supporters who are all

607
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:10,600
Speaker 2: up for toxic masculinity and all that sort of jazz, right,

608
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:14,319
Speaker 2: you know, all the big loud, shouty people. Yeah, And

609
00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:18,040
Speaker 2: I just feel that, like your kids are the best

610
00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:21,840
Speaker 2: teachers sometimes. And when Eliza was questioning that, and I

611
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:24,160
Speaker 2: mentioned the fact that you get to pick your faith.

612
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:27,160
Speaker 2: As long as you've got faith in something, you'll be

613
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:30,400
Speaker 2: sweet as are not right whatever that faith is, and

614
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:33,400
Speaker 2: she's just sat back in a chair because we're in

615
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:36,279
Speaker 2: the car and the way back from school, and she

616
00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:40,080
Speaker 2: just sat back in a chair and she went, hmmm, so,

617
00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:45,120
Speaker 2: so I can believe in God and science And I went,

618
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:49,439
Speaker 2: of course she can. Of course she can. And that's

619
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:51,440
Speaker 2: the beautiful thing about being human is the fact that

620
00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:55,840
Speaker 2: you can. You don't have to. Yes, religion has helped

621
00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:58,719
Speaker 2: people to stay on the straight and narrow, depending on

622
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:00,880
Speaker 2: your map of the world, right, because there's certain religions

623
00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:03,200
Speaker 2: that people think send you down the wrong path and

624
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:07,719
Speaker 2: depending on your orientation. But in a world that has

625
00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:11,359
Speaker 2: got so much noise and so much choice, and I

626
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:16,560
Speaker 2: think we're paralyzed by choice these days, right, Whereas back

627
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:18,480
Speaker 2: in the day, yeah, the Good Book and that was

628
00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:20,880
Speaker 2: about oh yeah, right, because you didn't have TVs and stuff.

629
00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:24,160
Speaker 2: So I think that as long as I think that

630
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:26,520
Speaker 2: the topic of faith needs to be discussed, but it

631
00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:29,480
Speaker 2: needs to be discussed in a holistic way where it's

632
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:31,719
Speaker 2: not just religious text. Yeah it makes sense.

633
00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:35,680
Speaker 3: No, No, I totally agree, and that that you can

634
00:37:35,719 --> 00:37:38,760
Speaker 3: do this and this right. So, just to come back

635
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:42,239
Speaker 3: to and we're walking a political type route here, but

636
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:46,279
Speaker 3: the whole Palestine thing, it's really interesting because I make

637
00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:50,239
Speaker 3: a point of when I read read the news or

638
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:53,919
Speaker 3: go online, I will go on to The Australian, which

639
00:37:53,960 --> 00:37:56,200
Speaker 3: is quite right wing, and I will then go on

640
00:37:56,239 --> 00:37:59,080
Speaker 3: to the Guardian, which is left wing, and I always

641
00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:02,400
Speaker 3: do that right and I'll be on CNN, I'll go

642
00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:03,640
Speaker 3: to the algaze Era or.

643
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:06,320
Speaker 1: Go to Fox News just to fucking see how different

644
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:06,880
Speaker 1: the world is.

645
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:12,400
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, But for me it's like you read the

646
00:38:12,440 --> 00:38:16,480
Speaker 5: Australian or Guarantee you you go back almost every single

647
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:19,839
Speaker 5: day there's something about anti Semitism, and.

648
00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:21,799
Speaker 3: Then you go on to the Guardian and almost every

649
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:25,319
Speaker 3: single day it's about what's happening to the Palestinians. When

650
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:31,200
Speaker 3: did it ever become that your political leanings determined which

651
00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:34,520
Speaker 3: group that you could have empathy for. Why can't we

652
00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:38,319
Speaker 3: go fucking hell those attacks that have master did were

653
00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:42,160
Speaker 3: horrendous and have massive empathy for them, and at the

654
00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:46,719
Speaker 3: same time have massive empathy for the Palestinian people and

655
00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:49,400
Speaker 3: all the suffering that's actually happening.

656
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:51,960
Speaker 1: Because of that, Like what why? Is everything?

657
00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:55,799
Speaker 3: And this is my point about the world, with that

658
00:38:56,040 --> 00:39:01,400
Speaker 3: existential vacuum and with social media and becoming more and

659
00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:06,000
Speaker 3: more polarized around this that it almost has to be Hey,

660
00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:08,400
Speaker 3: if this is your political leaning, this is what you

661
00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:11,360
Speaker 3: have to believe, right, Yeah, if you're in the United

662
00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:15,359
Speaker 3: States and you're a Republican, you have to believe that

663
00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:19,160
Speaker 3: you shouldn't be supporting the Ukraine War and that all

664
00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:23,319
Speaker 3: of a sudden, fucking Putin is not the horrendous fucking.

665
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:24,680
Speaker 1: Individual that he is.

666
00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:28,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, man, but it's just for me.

667
00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:32,920
Speaker 3: And but it comes back to this conversation that you

668
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:37,520
Speaker 3: were talking about about knowing thyself, and you know was

669
00:39:37,640 --> 00:39:42,399
Speaker 3: unscribed in the article at Delphi know thyself, right, Yeah,

670
00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:46,279
Speaker 3: that's the biggest thing. So in your book, Ard, the

671
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:52,520
Speaker 3: stuff that you've come across, what are some tips that

672
00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:57,480
Speaker 3: you think that people could do for that self exploration.

673
00:39:57,080 --> 00:39:58,200
Speaker 1: To know thyself.

674
00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:04,400
Speaker 2: One of the first things that we should do that

675
00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:07,600
Speaker 2: I that worked really well for me was when I

676
00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:09,800
Speaker 2: had a bit of an identity crisis. It was a

677
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:12,560
Speaker 2: couple of days after my old man passed away, and

678
00:40:13,239 --> 00:40:17,200
Speaker 2: I did an exercise around values right where there was

679
00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:21,920
Speaker 2: like a huge, huge, however, many hundreds of values and

680
00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:24,319
Speaker 2: it took me hours to wild it down to sort

681
00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:26,640
Speaker 2: of three or four. I whiled it down to three,

682
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:32,839
Speaker 2: and and every time every round your job is to

683
00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:35,640
Speaker 2: cut out half of the values that are on that list, right,

684
00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:39,960
Speaker 2: and and and and the three that I said beforehand,

685
00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:42,560
Speaker 2: the ones that I had involved things like ambition and

686
00:40:42,600 --> 00:40:46,120
Speaker 2: determination and all this sort of crap. The three that

687
00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:47,960
Speaker 2: I came up with when I was in a very

688
00:40:48,080 --> 00:40:51,920
Speaker 2: vulnerable space, having just lost my old man. We're connection,

689
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:57,480
Speaker 2: fun and simplicity, right, which is not very corporate. Now.

690
00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:00,399
Speaker 2: The thing that I've been saying to people is if

691
00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:03,560
Speaker 2: is that if you if, if you put your values

692
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:06,160
Speaker 2: on a on a line on a bit of paper,

693
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:11,040
Speaker 2: and the exercise that you need to do that I

694
00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:14,319
Speaker 2: think works quite well is put your values on one

695
00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:17,360
Speaker 2: line and then put five or so other sets of

696
00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:20,160
Speaker 2: values on lines above them below and go a bit

697
00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:23,279
Speaker 2: usual suspects, right, and go to your loved ones and

698
00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:25,239
Speaker 2: see if they can pick out who you Which one

699
00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:26,560
Speaker 2: is you? Right?

700
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:28,439
Speaker 1: Ah? Nice? Okay?

701
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:30,719
Speaker 2: Because if you because if you do that, if you

702
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:33,680
Speaker 2: do that, and and and you love ones, the people

703
00:41:33,719 --> 00:41:37,640
Speaker 2: that truly know who you are can't pick you out,

704
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:40,360
Speaker 2: then you've got a question whether they're your values.

705
00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:42,799
Speaker 3: Yeah, or whether they're just things that you would like

706
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:44,720
Speaker 3: to have exactly.

707
00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:47,279
Speaker 2: There, yeah, exactly. They're the projection of where where you

708
00:41:47,320 --> 00:41:49,520
Speaker 2: would love to be, But they are not who you

709
00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:50,280
Speaker 2: are now.

710
00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:56,360
Speaker 1: Or where you think you should be. The tyranny of

711
00:41:56,480 --> 00:41:57,080
Speaker 1: the Huldes.

712
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:04,040
Speaker 3: So now know that we are into this existential conversation.

713
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:08,680
Speaker 2: Yes, we would have thought there's people of our accents

714
00:42:08,719 --> 00:42:12,680
Speaker 2: for using the word existential seriously, like ask our old

715
00:42:12,719 --> 00:42:15,080
Speaker 2: schoolmates would be like going, who are these two.

716
00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:19,240
Speaker 1: Faster?

717
00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:19,560
Speaker 4: Come on?

718
00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:21,680
Speaker 1: That'd be going, what the fuck are you on about?

719
00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:25,840
Speaker 2: Yeah? Stop talking? Stop talking so foreign, I'm speaking English please.

720
00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:30,200
Speaker 3: But anyway, So, the ultimate existential question I'm going to

721
00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:32,400
Speaker 3: throw at you, and I know you talked about this

722
00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:34,760
Speaker 3: in your book, is why do you exist?

723
00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:39,720
Speaker 2: I exist to make success more accessible. I exist because

724
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:43,719
Speaker 2: I'm good at making things simple for people, right. I

725
00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:48,120
Speaker 2: exist because I have a I have a purpose. My

726
00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:53,000
Speaker 2: reason for being is my DNA is to make people

727
00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:57,240
Speaker 2: feel that there that success can exist in their lives.

728
00:42:57,360 --> 00:43:01,880
Speaker 2: And I know that sounds at the cold face of it,

729
00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:05,040
Speaker 2: it sounds very corporate, and it sounds very white collar.

730
00:43:05,239 --> 00:43:07,880
Speaker 2: The whole notion of success does feel very white collar.

731
00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:11,560
Speaker 2: But success, for me is applicable to any element of

732
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:16,680
Speaker 2: your life. Right, So, for someone success might be defined

733
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:20,000
Speaker 2: by the way that their kids end up. Right. It

734
00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:22,919
Speaker 2: could be defined by their parenting, you know. It could

735
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:25,480
Speaker 2: be defined by their health. It could be defined by

736
00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:29,480
Speaker 2: their spirituality. Success for someone talk religion. Success for someone

737
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:35,239
Speaker 2: could be to be absolute in their behaviors around the

738
00:43:35,239 --> 00:43:38,560
Speaker 2: Ten commandments for example, right, you know so? Or twelve?

739
00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:42,560
Speaker 2: You know what I mean? So it's success holds so

740
00:43:42,640 --> 00:43:46,799
Speaker 2: many forms. And my purpose, my reason for being, is

741
00:43:46,880 --> 00:43:48,920
Speaker 2: to help people to get cool with that and to

742
00:43:49,040 --> 00:43:51,880
Speaker 2: be and to actually go follow what success, how success

743
00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:54,719
Speaker 2: is defined for them. No, I can't change the world,

744
00:43:54,719 --> 00:43:56,640
Speaker 2: but I can change I can change the world for

745
00:43:56,680 --> 00:43:59,879
Speaker 2: one person potentially. And if we were all to own

746
00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:03,920
Speaker 2: who we were and to own what success looks like

747
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:08,319
Speaker 2: for us, because success, you know, from the iteration of

748
00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:11,440
Speaker 2: success going back to Rome and Greece and whatnot, is

749
00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:17,160
Speaker 2: the definition of the origin. The original derivative was to progress, right,

750
00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:20,400
Speaker 2: And I think a lot of humans that get upset,

751
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:23,399
Speaker 2: cranky and end up kicking off is because they don't

752
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:25,600
Speaker 2: feel like they're moving forward in life. So therefore they

753
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:27,120
Speaker 2: have to make a lot of noise in order to

754
00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:29,960
Speaker 2: be heard in order to move forward, whether that is

755
00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:34,040
Speaker 2: through because they're feeling oppressed. Because there are people or

756
00:44:34,040 --> 00:44:37,480
Speaker 2: they're a sect or whatever it is. Right, So yeah,

757
00:44:37,520 --> 00:44:39,320
Speaker 2: so that's my that's my I mean, it's taken me

758
00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:42,200
Speaker 2: a long time to get there. I was, I was

759
00:44:42,239 --> 00:44:45,160
Speaker 2: really struggling with that for a long long time, I

760
00:44:45,239 --> 00:44:45,759
Speaker 2: have to say.

761
00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:50,080
Speaker 1: But very interesting. So I'll tell you it's given it.

762
00:44:50,200 --> 00:44:51,160
Speaker 1: I've asked you the question.

763
00:44:51,520 --> 00:44:55,759
Speaker 3: I will give you my tombstone statement. Nice which and

764
00:44:56,880 --> 00:45:00,400
Speaker 3: I do this in workshops and get people to ride.

765
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:01,560
Speaker 1: A tombstone statement.

766
00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:06,360
Speaker 3: And mine, excuse me, is military man turned educator to

767
00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:11,080
Speaker 3: help others be better versions of themselves. Right, And look

768
00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:16,080
Speaker 3: that that actually came from a pretty negative event where

769
00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:18,240
Speaker 3: he friends of mine get killed in a helicopter crash.

770
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:20,319
Speaker 1: Two very very good means.

771
00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:24,000
Speaker 3: But the point was that then set me on a

772
00:45:24,040 --> 00:45:26,720
Speaker 3: path that ended up with this. But it's only about

773
00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:31,040
Speaker 3: thinking about it that that it actually comes that.

774
00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:32,240
Speaker 1: As I often say.

775
00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:35,440
Speaker 3: To people, there is no purpose fairy, there's no faurry

776
00:45:35,480 --> 00:45:37,480
Speaker 3: that's going to come along and give you the purpose.

777
00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:39,399
Speaker 3: And you have to think about this. But I tell

778
00:45:39,480 --> 00:45:42,719
Speaker 3: you there's a quote that I came across that I

779
00:45:42,920 --> 00:45:47,600
Speaker 3: now use in workshops to set this up because I

780
00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:51,560
Speaker 3: think it's pretty from Seneca the Stoic philosopher. And you

781
00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:53,279
Speaker 3: mentioned the story you started this ship.

782
00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:56,279
Speaker 1: Everybody who lists, everybody who listens.

783
00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:57,960
Speaker 3: To my podcast goes, fuck it, he's going to talk

784
00:45:57,960 --> 00:45:59,080
Speaker 3: about the Stoics again.

785
00:45:58,880 --> 00:46:02,560
Speaker 1: But you started it unprompted, right.

786
00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:06,640
Speaker 3: But it's Seneca, and he said, every individual birds the

787
00:46:06,719 --> 00:46:12,160
Speaker 3: responsibility to be of value to humanity, possible to benefit

788
00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:15,480
Speaker 3: a large number, if not to benefit a smaller group,

789
00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:19,200
Speaker 3: and if that too seems unattainable, then to benefit their

790
00:46:19,239 --> 00:46:23,960
Speaker 3: immediate community. But above all else, they must prioritize self

791
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:27,520
Speaker 3: growth and personal well being. And the reason I love

792
00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:30,680
Speaker 3: that is that it just simplifies it. It's the stuff

793
00:46:30,680 --> 00:46:33,800
Speaker 3: that you talked about. It's not about having a success.

794
00:46:33,840 --> 00:46:37,360
Speaker 3: It's not about being a multi millionaire creating this startup

795
00:46:37,440 --> 00:46:40,880
Speaker 3: and running an orphanage in Nepal at the same time.

796
00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:45,720
Speaker 3: It's just about how can you affect.

797
00:46:45,320 --> 00:46:46,800
Speaker 1: Your little corner of the universe.

798
00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:49,440
Speaker 3: But the thing that I love that Seneca brings to

799
00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:50,920
Speaker 3: it is that you.

800
00:46:50,880 --> 00:46:53,520
Speaker 1: Must prioritize yourself growth and personal.

801
00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:56,440
Speaker 3: Well being because if you sort your own shit out

802
00:46:56,480 --> 00:46:59,440
Speaker 3: and are healthy, then you are going to be much

803
00:46:59,640 --> 00:47:04,480
Speaker 3: more eable to deliver that and benefit to other people.

804
00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:07,640
Speaker 2: Absolutely man and I actually had this battle when it

805
00:47:07,640 --> 00:47:12,040
Speaker 2: came to being a parent because I really really struggled

806
00:47:12,160 --> 00:47:15,200
Speaker 2: to set boundaries with my kids because I felt that

807
00:47:15,239 --> 00:47:17,160
Speaker 2: I wasn't allowed I didn't think I was allowed to.

808
00:47:17,480 --> 00:47:20,239
Speaker 2: I thought my kids would have should have complete one

809
00:47:20,280 --> 00:47:25,799
Speaker 2: hundred percent unadulterated access to me. And it was only

810
00:47:25,800 --> 00:47:28,520
Speaker 2: when I finally realized that I needed to set a

811
00:47:28,600 --> 00:47:34,600
Speaker 2: boundary around my physical exercise that allowed me to feel

812
00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:37,799
Speaker 2: so much more free to be a parent in the

813
00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:40,359
Speaker 2: best way I possibly could be because they know now

814
00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:42,440
Speaker 2: for the thirty minutes or forty five minutes that I'm

815
00:47:42,440 --> 00:47:46,279
Speaker 2: doing the workout in my garage or whatever, they we've

816
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:49,040
Speaker 2: got an agreement that that is the one time where

817
00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:53,239
Speaker 2: unless someone's arms falling off, you know, you know, if

818
00:47:53,280 --> 00:47:56,200
Speaker 2: it's a debate over the bloody TV remote and they're.

819
00:47:56,000 --> 00:48:03,960
Speaker 3: Not blood exactly right, exactly exactly, there's no blood involved,

820
00:48:04,239 --> 00:48:05,680
Speaker 3: do not interrupt.

821
00:48:05,400 --> 00:48:08,600
Speaker 2: Exactly if there's if there's blood or no breathing, then

822
00:48:08,640 --> 00:48:09,240
Speaker 2: you're allowed.

823
00:48:14,080 --> 00:48:17,960
Speaker 3: Okay, So another big question. I'm going to ask you

824
00:48:18,080 --> 00:48:23,120
Speaker 3: the last big question because you also talk about this

825
00:48:23,280 --> 00:48:24,879
Speaker 3: is what broke you.

826
00:48:25,440 --> 00:48:30,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, man, I look, you know what I was actually

827
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:32,640
Speaker 2: thinking about then when you mentioned about your your eight

828
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:37,200
Speaker 2: colleagues and friends who died in a helicopter acc numberfore

829
00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:42,440
Speaker 2: and it's ship right that a lot of the best

830
00:48:42,560 --> 00:48:48,319
Speaker 2: versions of people are made through trauma. It's always been,

831
00:48:48,520 --> 00:48:51,400
Speaker 2: There's always been something that really annoys me. And I'm like,

832
00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:54,000
Speaker 2: how can we get around this? Is there any way

833
00:48:54,680 --> 00:48:58,560
Speaker 2: of us as human beings that is there anywhere us

834
00:48:58,600 --> 00:49:01,160
Speaker 2: being able to get around this whole thing of we

835
00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:04,000
Speaker 2: have to suffer trauma in order to become more evolved

836
00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:06,880
Speaker 2: in better versions of ourselves. Right now, the thing that

837
00:49:06,960 --> 00:49:13,280
Speaker 2: broke me was the realization that I wasn't the perfect

838
00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:16,040
Speaker 2: dad that I thought I was going to be. And

839
00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:17,879
Speaker 2: that was really the straw that broke the camel's back

840
00:49:17,880 --> 00:49:20,200
Speaker 2: because I've been running, I've been sort of existing on

841
00:49:20,239 --> 00:49:23,600
Speaker 2: the convey about the life without really understanding who I was.

842
00:49:24,280 --> 00:49:29,400
Speaker 2: And I just turned thirty and when my daughter was

843
00:49:29,520 --> 00:49:31,680
Speaker 2: or recently turned thirty, when my daughter was born, and

844
00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:36,160
Speaker 2: a few months after that, and when this automatic love

845
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:38,480
Speaker 2: that I've got told I was supposed to feel for

846
00:49:38,520 --> 00:49:41,080
Speaker 2: this kid and all this sort of stuff just wasn't there,

847
00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:45,200
Speaker 2: And I thought that was you know, what's the point,

848
00:49:45,400 --> 00:49:50,600
Speaker 2: like if I can't even love my own child. What's

849
00:49:50,640 --> 00:49:54,279
Speaker 2: the point, like, what's the point of existing? And in

850
00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:57,440
Speaker 2: that started a chain reaction from a mental you know,

851
00:49:57,480 --> 00:50:00,000
Speaker 2: I refer to it as my as my trip down

852
00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:04,799
Speaker 2: or health lane, which is ten years. In a week's time,

853
00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:06,880
Speaker 2: it will be ten years since I started on that

854
00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:14,120
Speaker 2: trip of understanding that in order to evolve, you have

855
00:50:14,200 --> 00:50:17,040
Speaker 2: to become a student of yourself, because if you can't,

856
00:50:17,080 --> 00:50:18,880
Speaker 2: if you don't become a student of yourself, And it

857
00:50:18,920 --> 00:50:21,560
Speaker 2: relates to what you said before, what Seneca said. If

858
00:50:21,600 --> 00:50:23,320
Speaker 2: you're not a student, if you can't be a student

859
00:50:23,360 --> 00:50:26,200
Speaker 2: of yourself, then you can never learn. You can never

860
00:50:26,280 --> 00:50:28,000
Speaker 2: learn the things that are going to help you become

861
00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:32,319
Speaker 2: a better person. Right. And so the thing that broke

862
00:50:32,440 --> 00:50:36,279
Speaker 2: me was that realization that the life that I was

863
00:50:36,360 --> 00:50:38,480
Speaker 2: living was not the life I was designed to have.

864
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:42,520
Speaker 2: And that was a massive kick in the pills, man,

865
00:50:42,640 --> 00:50:45,240
Speaker 2: And it took me on a trip that nearly resulted

866
00:50:45,280 --> 00:50:47,960
Speaker 2: in me you staring at my own mortality a couple

867
00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:53,120
Speaker 2: of times and going through various ubsections and whatnot. But

868
00:50:53,880 --> 00:50:57,000
Speaker 2: I always referred to it as the best bad thing

869
00:50:57,040 --> 00:50:58,040
Speaker 2: that's ever happened to me.

870
00:50:58,920 --> 00:51:00,000
Speaker 1: I love that term.

871
00:51:00,160 --> 00:51:03,000
Speaker 2: Right, the best bad thing that's ever happened to me. Now,

872
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:05,279
Speaker 2: would I wish it on anyone else? No? And will

873
00:51:05,320 --> 00:51:07,799
Speaker 2: I continue to try and figure out how to help

874
00:51:07,840 --> 00:51:11,040
Speaker 2: people have this evolution without having to go through the shit.

875
00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:15,239
Speaker 2: Of course I'm going to keep trying. But as we're

876
00:51:15,239 --> 00:51:18,839
Speaker 2: both pointed out over the course of this conversation, inevitably

877
00:51:18,960 --> 00:51:21,640
Speaker 2: something has to test you to an extreme in order

878
00:51:21,680 --> 00:51:23,759
Speaker 2: for the diamond to come out of the pressure, right,

879
00:51:24,360 --> 00:51:28,359
Speaker 2: and which is shit, But it's just it, just it

880
00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:30,000
Speaker 2: would none of us have been able to work out

881
00:51:30,160 --> 00:51:33,480
Speaker 2: how we can avoid it. So yeah, man, that's the

882
00:51:33,520 --> 00:51:35,680
Speaker 2: thing that broke me was when I realized that I

883
00:51:35,800 --> 00:51:40,440
Speaker 2: wasn't the dad. I genuinely felt that that was the

884
00:51:40,480 --> 00:51:42,960
Speaker 2: thing that I was designed to do, and that was

885
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:45,160
Speaker 2: the one thing that was I was essentially, if I'm

886
00:51:45,160 --> 00:51:46,640
Speaker 2: being honest with myself, it was the one thing that

887
00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:48,839
Speaker 2: I was clinging onto in life was the fact that right,

888
00:51:48,840 --> 00:51:50,239
Speaker 2: at least then I'm going to be a good dad

889
00:51:50,840 --> 00:51:52,319
Speaker 2: when the kid turns up, at least then I'm going

890
00:51:52,360 --> 00:51:55,120
Speaker 2: to be a good dad. So when I wasn't, I

891
00:51:55,160 --> 00:51:57,480
Speaker 2: was like, shit, well i've got nothing. I've got nothing,

892
00:51:58,120 --> 00:52:00,000
Speaker 2: And it was a prick of a thing to get

893
00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:02,919
Speaker 2: go through. But I'm grateful that the mother and my kids,

894
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:04,600
Speaker 2: who I'm not with anymore, but I have so much

895
00:52:04,640 --> 00:52:12,200
Speaker 2: respect for I'm grateful that she had the bottle, the

896
00:52:12,680 --> 00:52:16,200
Speaker 2: nerve to actually fade, to actually square up to it

897
00:52:16,280 --> 00:52:18,960
Speaker 2: in me, you know. And if it wasn't for her,

898
00:52:19,080 --> 00:52:22,879
Speaker 2: I probably, I say probably inevitably, I probably wouldn't still

899
00:52:22,880 --> 00:52:24,839
Speaker 2: be on the planet having a conversation with you right now.

900
00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:27,839
Speaker 2: So I owe her a hell of a lot, not

901
00:52:27,880 --> 00:52:29,920
Speaker 2: just for the kids she's provided for me, but the

902
00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:33,680
Speaker 2: fact that she's given me. She gave me the opportunity

903
00:52:33,719 --> 00:52:38,960
Speaker 2: to continue my existence. And yeah, and that discovery of

904
00:52:38,960 --> 00:52:41,120
Speaker 2: the fact that I needed to learn who the hell

905
00:52:41,160 --> 00:52:46,799
Speaker 2: I was at thirty was an interest in an interesting realization,

906
00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:50,000
Speaker 2: but one I'm ultimately glad I've had.

907
00:52:51,160 --> 00:52:54,680
Speaker 3: And how long did it tick before you could and

908
00:52:54,760 --> 00:52:57,319
Speaker 3: what And was there a point where you felt that

909
00:52:57,400 --> 00:53:01,440
Speaker 3: you were turning the corner or was it just slow

910
00:53:02,840 --> 00:53:07,319
Speaker 3: sort of chrysalis or did you actually was there are

911
00:53:07,560 --> 00:53:11,240
Speaker 3: a few waypoints along the line where you went Actually

912
00:53:11,239 --> 00:53:13,560
Speaker 3: I'm on an upwards trajectory and I can feel it

913
00:53:13,600 --> 00:53:14,200
Speaker 3: in the tear step.

914
00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:17,719
Speaker 2: It was. It was it was. It's very cyclical, and

915
00:53:17,760 --> 00:53:20,759
Speaker 2: it's something that I will always be a student of

916
00:53:20,840 --> 00:53:24,040
Speaker 2: because when I was initially going through it, those first

917
00:53:24,080 --> 00:53:26,480
Speaker 2: few years that I was going through it, I was

918
00:53:26,560 --> 00:53:29,880
Speaker 2: I'd feel like I was going well, and then then

919
00:53:29,920 --> 00:53:32,520
Speaker 2: I would crash and burn, right, And each time I

920
00:53:32,520 --> 00:53:36,200
Speaker 2: crashed and burned, you know, once I had made it

921
00:53:36,239 --> 00:53:40,440
Speaker 2: out the other end, and sometimes I nearly didn't. I

922
00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:43,680
Speaker 2: every single time I learned something new about myself, I learned,

923
00:53:43,719 --> 00:53:47,000
Speaker 2: like I found, I discovered a fundamental building block off

924
00:53:47,040 --> 00:53:50,680
Speaker 2: the back of each one, and and as I went

925
00:53:50,719 --> 00:53:53,319
Speaker 2: through each one, those building blocks sort of grew, and

926
00:53:53,360 --> 00:53:56,880
Speaker 2: the foundation got stronger, and the frame, the mental framework

927
00:53:57,320 --> 00:54:00,480
Speaker 2: became a lot more structured and solid, and you know,

928
00:54:00,680 --> 00:54:06,160
Speaker 2: felt more by design as opposed to by default. And yeah,

929
00:54:06,239 --> 00:54:08,759
Speaker 2: and then now, you know, like I said, we're nearly

930
00:54:08,760 --> 00:54:13,239
Speaker 2: a decade into it, and you know, I'm still you know,

931
00:54:13,360 --> 00:54:16,840
Speaker 2: I'm still learning stuff about myself, right, and I always

932
00:54:16,880 --> 00:54:20,000
Speaker 2: will do. And and it's an amazing thing to be

933
00:54:20,040 --> 00:54:24,600
Speaker 2: able to be aware of that, because it means that

934
00:54:24,680 --> 00:54:27,080
Speaker 2: I've you know, while there's always time, While there's always

935
00:54:27,160 --> 00:54:29,680
Speaker 2: time in the game of life, there's always chances to

936
00:54:29,719 --> 00:54:33,080
Speaker 2: score more goals and advance further forward and all the

937
00:54:33,120 --> 00:54:37,160
Speaker 2: rest of it. But I think it was actually, I

938
00:54:37,160 --> 00:54:39,239
Speaker 2: think if there was a watershed moment when I could

939
00:54:39,280 --> 00:54:40,560
Speaker 2: when I sort of took a breath and thought, you

940
00:54:40,600 --> 00:54:43,399
Speaker 2: know what you're going all right now? It was after again,

941
00:54:43,480 --> 00:54:46,000
Speaker 2: it was after my old man passed away. And the

942
00:54:46,040 --> 00:54:51,759
Speaker 2: way that I processed the grief was it was one

943
00:54:51,800 --> 00:54:56,560
Speaker 2: of immense gratitude as opposed to immense sadness. I was

944
00:54:56,719 --> 00:54:59,680
Speaker 2: grateful for the dad that I had, as opposed to

945
00:54:59,680 --> 00:55:03,759
Speaker 2: the being sad for the man that I lost. And and

946
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:07,120
Speaker 2: when I when I and that, when that naturally happened

947
00:55:07,400 --> 00:55:09,600
Speaker 2: all of a sudden, and once the dust had settled,

948
00:55:09,640 --> 00:55:12,600
Speaker 2: I was like, you know what, I could have a

949
00:55:12,600 --> 00:55:15,600
Speaker 2: bit of faith in my own mental framework. Now now's

950
00:55:15,640 --> 00:55:17,560
Speaker 2: the time for me to now grow as opposed to

951
00:55:17,760 --> 00:55:21,200
Speaker 2: build from scratch, right, and the foundations looking pretty solid,

952
00:55:21,480 --> 00:55:26,919
Speaker 2: how can we now make this thing really pop? For me? Also? Yeah, man,

953
00:55:26,960 --> 00:55:31,160
Speaker 2: So that was it, I guess.

954
00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:34,520
Speaker 3: Very cool, And to me it were no more big, hard,

955
00:55:34,600 --> 00:55:37,359
Speaker 3: curly questions. Well, I actually I want to give you

956
00:55:37,840 --> 00:55:40,280
Speaker 3: what what excites you about the future.

957
00:55:41,680 --> 00:55:44,400
Speaker 2: The fact that I know I've got so much to learn,

958
00:55:44,840 --> 00:55:47,480
Speaker 2: but I am very much in control of my own

959
00:55:47,520 --> 00:55:52,480
Speaker 2: existence now. After the first book, it's weird. After the

960
00:55:52,480 --> 00:55:55,680
Speaker 2: first book, it felt like I downloaded the first version

961
00:55:55,719 --> 00:55:57,319
Speaker 2: of myself and all of a sudden, I had all

962
00:55:57,360 --> 00:56:00,279
Speaker 2: this space in my brain to think of about the

963
00:56:00,280 --> 00:56:02,920
Speaker 2: second version of myself. Right, It's like I got rid

964
00:56:02,960 --> 00:56:04,440
Speaker 2: of all the clutter. It's like I've done a big

965
00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:07,120
Speaker 2: spring clean, a big garage sale and put it into

966
00:56:07,120 --> 00:56:09,960
Speaker 2: a book. And now I've got all this space in

967
00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:14,560
Speaker 2: my brain, which is wonderful. It's fabulous. So that excites

968
00:56:14,600 --> 00:56:17,400
Speaker 2: me for the future. The direction that my kids are

969
00:56:17,440 --> 00:56:20,600
Speaker 2: going in, I'm super excited for. Like, they are just

970
00:56:20,719 --> 00:56:24,400
Speaker 2: two very very awesome and I know I'm biased, but

971
00:56:24,440 --> 00:56:28,279
Speaker 2: they are. They're brilliant individuals in their own right. So

972
00:56:28,320 --> 00:56:29,880
Speaker 2: I'm very very lucky that I get to have a

973
00:56:29,960 --> 00:56:33,200
Speaker 2: very special relationship with them. And I know how lucky

974
00:56:33,280 --> 00:56:36,960
Speaker 2: I am in that respect. Yeah, And I just feel

975
00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:41,920
Speaker 2: that it's it's like I have an opportunity, and we

976
00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:44,040
Speaker 2: all have opportunities. I know this is going to sound

977
00:56:44,120 --> 00:56:48,520
Speaker 2: very patronizing. We all have opportunities moving forward as long

978
00:56:48,560 --> 00:56:51,439
Speaker 2: as we understand and accept that there is still time

979
00:56:51,480 --> 00:56:53,759
Speaker 2: in the game. Of life to be played. I used

980
00:56:53,800 --> 00:56:55,840
Speaker 2: to have this big problem with satisfaction. I used to

981
00:56:55,880 --> 00:56:58,720
Speaker 2: be chasing satisfaction and never got there, right and Alan

982
00:56:58,760 --> 00:57:01,160
Speaker 2: Watts right, by the time you get there, it becomes here,

983
00:57:01,200 --> 00:57:06,239
Speaker 2: so ergo there never exists, yes, And once I really

984
00:57:06,280 --> 00:57:10,239
Speaker 2: come to understand that, and it allowed me. And this

985
00:57:10,280 --> 00:57:11,960
Speaker 2: is one thing I am really working on, is the

986
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:14,719
Speaker 2: ability to stay present more often, which you know, when

987
00:57:14,719 --> 00:57:17,520
Speaker 2: you have the interesting little bits of wiring that I've

988
00:57:17,520 --> 00:57:19,560
Speaker 2: got there, it makes it a little bit of a challenge.

989
00:57:19,560 --> 00:57:21,720
Speaker 2: But I'm really starting to own that. And as soon

990
00:57:21,720 --> 00:57:25,400
Speaker 2: as I feel like I own the being present, man,

991
00:57:25,440 --> 00:57:29,840
Speaker 2: the world gets cool, gets really really cool. So yeah, man,

992
00:57:29,880 --> 00:57:32,480
Speaker 2: that's the opportunity is to be present more often and

993
00:57:32,560 --> 00:57:34,520
Speaker 2: with the people that I have unfortunate to have in

994
00:57:34,560 --> 00:57:35,600
Speaker 2: my life.

995
00:57:35,880 --> 00:57:40,439
Speaker 1: Lucky boy, Yeah, yeah, lucky boy. Yes, aren't we all?

996
00:57:41,880 --> 00:57:46,760
Speaker 3: So where can people go to find more about you?

997
00:57:46,800 --> 00:57:47,320
Speaker 4: And a.

998
00:57:48,800 --> 00:57:51,920
Speaker 1: A procademics guide to success?

999
00:57:52,080 --> 00:57:56,120
Speaker 3: Curious and somebody who's actually had that lived experience, right,

1000
00:57:56,200 --> 00:58:00,360
Speaker 3: it's not just that you're parenting, are reparroting a heap

1001
00:58:00,400 --> 00:58:04,960
Speaker 3: of ship that other people have said, which which is cool.

1002
00:58:07,200 --> 00:58:09,760
Speaker 3: And this is a conversation that went down roots that

1003
00:58:09,840 --> 00:58:12,800
Speaker 3: I was not expecting. But I'm actually very glad that

1004
00:58:12,840 --> 00:58:16,640
Speaker 3: it did. But so, where can people go to find more.

1005
00:58:16,720 --> 00:58:20,000
Speaker 1: About you your book? They want to book? It's an auctioneer.

1006
00:58:20,280 --> 00:58:23,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, man, Yeah, well that that that's.

1007
00:58:23,640 --> 00:58:26,920
Speaker 3: Just my I have a conversation on the side about

1008
00:58:27,760 --> 00:58:29,520
Speaker 3: existential crisis.

1009
00:58:29,200 --> 00:58:31,720
Speaker 2: Which I probably could do while I'm selling a house

1010
00:58:31,760 --> 00:58:35,400
Speaker 2: to be fair now. But Andy Reid dot com dot

1011
00:58:35,400 --> 00:58:38,720
Speaker 2: au that's my that's my site. I'm a very easy

1012
00:58:38,760 --> 00:58:41,240
Speaker 2: guy to find because obviously with the work that I

1013
00:58:41,320 --> 00:58:44,160
Speaker 2: do in auctioneering, I'm a very out there sort of public,

1014
00:58:44,400 --> 00:58:48,440
Speaker 2: public facing sort of guy. So you know on Instagram

1015
00:58:48,440 --> 00:58:51,280
Speaker 2: at Andy Reid Coaching, very very easy guy to hit

1016
00:58:51,360 --> 00:58:53,360
Speaker 2: up there if you want to d m me. The

1017
00:58:53,360 --> 00:58:57,240
Speaker 2: books available on Amazon and again super lucky that it's

1018
00:58:58,400 --> 00:59:01,720
Speaker 2: available in the US, Canada, UK about to be available

1019
00:59:01,720 --> 00:59:04,400
Speaker 2: in India as well, which is pretty cool. God helped

1020
00:59:04,400 --> 00:59:07,120
Speaker 2: them with some of the words that are in that book.

1021
00:59:07,360 --> 00:59:09,520
Speaker 2: There's going to be some interesting Google searches in India.

1022
00:59:09,560 --> 00:59:12,160
Speaker 2: I'll tell you that for him for nothing. And so

1023
00:59:12,720 --> 00:59:16,000
Speaker 2: but yeah, you're absolutely right. A lot of the book

1024
00:59:16,120 --> 00:59:19,680
Speaker 2: is very self deprecating. You know. My old man used

1025
00:59:19,680 --> 00:59:21,320
Speaker 2: to say if you can't laugh at yourself, you shouldn't

1026
00:59:21,360 --> 00:59:22,760
Speaker 2: laugh at anyone else, which.

1027
00:59:22,560 --> 00:59:26,360
Speaker 1: I think is absolutely amen. There is my nod to

1028
00:59:26,440 --> 00:59:33,240
Speaker 1: religion to that one for sure. Andy.

1029
00:59:34,200 --> 00:59:38,480
Speaker 3: This has been awesome, So thank you for making the

1030
00:59:38,560 --> 00:59:42,240
Speaker 3: time to have the conversation and thank you for being

1031
00:59:42,320 --> 00:59:45,800
Speaker 3: vulnerable enough to share your story with authenticity.

1032
00:59:46,480 --> 00:59:48,320
Speaker 2: Mate, Thank you so much for having me. Man, it's

1033
00:59:48,400 --> 00:59:50,560
Speaker 2: been It's an absolute pleasure to be to connect it

1034
00:59:50,640 --> 00:59:54,240
Speaker 2: to someone that I have as much respect for as yourself,

1035
00:59:54,280 --> 00:59:55,480
Speaker 2: So thank you so much for having me.

1036
00:59:56,400 --> 01:00:06,200
Speaker 3: Well, thank you, Cheers, Met