Speaker 1: Apogie production.
Speaker 2: Trigger warning for today's episode. As we speak about body
Speaker 2: image and distorted eating. We begin today by acknowledging the
Speaker 2: traditional custodians of the land on which we gather today
Speaker 2: and pay our respects to their elders past and present.
Speaker 2: We extend that respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander
Speaker 2: people's here today. Welcome to the Grow and Glow Podcast.
Speaker 2: I'm Ashy, I'm Kiara. This is a podcast where we learn, laugh,
Speaker 2: and level up together.
Speaker 1: Let's go deep, let.
Speaker 2: The emotions flow, and find the lessons to grow and Glow.
Speaker 2: Nothing is off the table with Grow and Glow, and
Speaker 2: we're here to be your expander.
Speaker 3: Hello, guys, Welcome back.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to Grow and Glow. This episode's all about motherhood.
Speaker 4: It's the triggering topics around getting your body back and
Speaker 4: toxic diet culture and just the pressure that motherhoods feel.
Speaker 4: But we're also going to go into like a little
Speaker 4: bit about relationships, how we felt around our different pregnancies
Speaker 4: and burths and like bounce back, I suppose, and just yeah,
Speaker 4: really get into the nitty gritty of it. Because this
Speaker 4: came through as a request, but it's something that I
Speaker 4: don't about you, but I get asked a lot about
Speaker 4: my social media week to eat as well.
Speaker 2: It's a lot of pressure on mums, definitely so much
Speaker 2: pressure and there's a lot to unpack around body image.
Speaker 4: So if you're a mum and you struggle with that,
Speaker 4: or you are pregnant, you're struggling with the changes.
Speaker 1: We're going to dive deep into it today and we've
Speaker 1: got a lot to say. So buckle in, tight, buckle.
Speaker 3: In tight, Go first is your share?
Speaker 1: The last share of the week is like kind of
Speaker 1: related to this.
Speaker 4: There's actually a stat that I read eighty nine percent
Speaker 4: of women will say no to activities because of what
Speaker 4: they look like and how much they dislike their body.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 4: So I just want to remind everyone that your weight
Speaker 4: and what you look like does not determine your worth.
Speaker 4: So stop letting it ruin. You have incredible moments and
Speaker 4: memories with the people that you love. Because when I
Speaker 4: read this, I picture most mums at the side of
Speaker 4: a swimming pool and not jumping into that swimming with
Speaker 4: their kids because there's so embarrassed with their body, or
Speaker 4: they're not proud of their body, or they just dislike
Speaker 4: their body, but they're missing out on all those beautiful
Speaker 4: moments like Mummy.
Speaker 1: Come on the poor mummy, come on the beach. So true.
Speaker 1: It's so sad. Eighty nine percent of women.
Speaker 2: That's a high percentage rates and wow, really really sad.
Speaker 4: So I'm glad that I spoke about that now because
Speaker 4: I hope that all this information and our perspectives and
Speaker 4: learnings around this topic will really help. This episode is
Speaker 4: going to be amazing.
Speaker 1: Yay, what's your share of the week.
Speaker 2: My Share of the Week was actually recommended by one
Speaker 2: of you guys, so thank you so much.
Speaker 3: So on one of the.
Speaker 2: Podcast episodes, I recommended my Georgia Olmari see perfume.
Speaker 3: Oh yes, And I had a.
Speaker 2: Girl message me and she's like, I need to tell
Speaker 2: you about this website and I was like, oh, okay,
Speaker 2: so it's called error. I think that's how you say it,
Speaker 2: so it's a RR And she's like it has dupes
Speaker 2: of perfumes. But she was like they're incredible, and I
Speaker 2: was like, how do they last? Like are they actually
Speaker 2: that good? She's like, literally, the smells so similar. Put
Speaker 2: on last all day. I got the perfume. Thank you girl,
Speaker 2: thank you.
Speaker 3: So the Georgia.
Speaker 2: Omani one's like two hundred and selling dollars and these
Speaker 2: are like thirty dollars, thirty six bucks, And I was
Speaker 2: just like wow, and it's like the exactcent.
Speaker 1: There you go. Yes, I sell those, we do.
Speaker 4: We've got the black Opium. Why I sell one? We've
Speaker 4: got like quite a few now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't have the sprays that we've got body
Speaker 2: Miss sprays.
Speaker 1: We've got perfumes. Now, you have perfumes as well as
Speaker 1: perfume juice.
Speaker 3: I don't own one perfume.
Speaker 1: I don't have one.
Speaker 4: Yeah, oh there you go. Yeah, so you know how
Speaker 4: we've got the black sugar like bodycaster. We've got the
Speaker 4: du perfume of the black opium.
Speaker 3: By waysell, I've never even smelled one or seen one.
Speaker 1: You love it?
Speaker 3: Well, I'm intrigued, Oh my god.
Speaker 4: Yes, play and a lot cheaper than normal perfume. And yeah,
Speaker 4: perfumes last a lot longer than body Miss sprays. Like
Speaker 4: the body Miss sprays I like for a little like
Speaker 4: after I've got gone to the gym or quickly dumping
Speaker 4: into the shops. But the perfume will last a lot longer.
Speaker 4: And yeah, we've only had them for a couple months now.
Speaker 4: But they have literally we've restocked them I think three
Speaker 4: four times. They've flown off the shelves. Wow, Like I
Speaker 4: damn's a crazy one in the back, Like we can't
Speaker 4: keep up with the demand.
Speaker 2: That's crazy, because yeah, I've got the body Miss Spray,
Speaker 2: and I've used that I did not even know.
Speaker 4: Had an inquiry for like a massive Australian wholesale that
Speaker 4: wants to stock them as well. They're just they're really
Speaker 4: cooled them in a beautiful like black sleep bottle.
Speaker 3: There you go. You don't spend two hundred dollars. Guys
Speaker 3: out there, I feel.
Speaker 4: Like mixed about this whole Dukee culture thing. I think
Speaker 4: it's so cool, like awesome because not with the cost
Speaker 4: of living, not everyone can afford the high end makeup
Speaker 4: and the high end perfumes and the high end bags
Speaker 4: or whatever. But then I also have sometimes a little
Speaker 4: bit of guilt of like all the original creators and designers.
Speaker 4: But I just think in this day and age, like, yeah,
Speaker 4: the cost of living is so expensive. You can spend
Speaker 4: two hundred dollars and a perfume or thirty dollars in
Speaker 4: a perfume, most of us will want to put the
Speaker 4: rest of that money towards food, yeah, and paying the bills.
Speaker 4: So I'm all for it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, love it all? Right, where do we start?
Speaker 4: The pressure to bounce back is a real I think
Speaker 4: social media has really contributed to this so much because
Speaker 4: a lot of people are not showing their body immediately
Speaker 4: after giving birth. Like I remember when I gave birth
Speaker 4: to Tagh and Steve said to me, come blacily, did
Speaker 4: not make this mistake again.
Speaker 1: He was like, oh, you still look pregnant.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was like, yes, I do.
Speaker 4: Every body's body is going to respond so differently to pregnancy.
Speaker 4: It depends so much on your genetics. It depends so
Speaker 4: much on what you were eating, your fitness level before, during,
Speaker 4: and after. It also depends on the type of birth
Speaker 4: that you had. It depends if you had ab separation,
Speaker 4: and then also your capacity and your energy post birth.
Speaker 4: If you have a really callicky baby, things are going
Speaker 4: to be a lot harder. You're going to be a
Speaker 4: lot more sleep deprived, and you're probably not going to
Speaker 4: have as much energy as someone who has a super cruisy,
Speaker 4: chill baby to go on your walks every day. There's
Speaker 4: so many factors that you have to take into consideration.
Speaker 4: Before you put that pressure on yourself to bounce back.
Speaker 4: And yes, society has played a role in social media,
Speaker 4: but at the end of the day, like we get
Speaker 4: of the information that we take in, we get a
Speaker 4: choice of how we speak to our body and the
Speaker 4: expectations we have on ourselves. So be super hyper aware
Speaker 4: of where we're putting the blame and just be kind
Speaker 4: to yourself.
Speaker 1: Like you've literally.
Speaker 4: Grown a baby for nine months, You've grown every organ,
Speaker 4: every bone, every ligament. Like it's expected for your body
Speaker 4: to change and it might not ever go back to
Speaker 4: being the same. That's something we do have to come
Speaker 4: acceptance in and I always say too with a body image,
Speaker 4: sometimes you might not love the body that you're in,
Speaker 4: but the in between is body acceptance and body appreciations.
Speaker 4: If you are hating what you physically look like right now,
Speaker 4: totally valid. If it's new, it's unknown. But let's just
Speaker 4: take a step instead of leaping over to like, oh
Speaker 4: I love my body and saying these affirmations that you
Speaker 4: really don't believe, which is understandable, just come to body acceptance.
Speaker 4: This is where I'm at right now. I just gave
Speaker 4: birth to a baby, and body appreciation I just grew
Speaker 4: a baby. I'm feeding my child, Like, look what my
Speaker 4: body has done.
Speaker 1: That's incredible.
Speaker 4: Some of them don't get that privilege, don't get that
Speaker 4: honor to be able to carry a baby. So really
Speaker 4: trying to like shift your perspectives on the whole journey
Speaker 4: and experience.
Speaker 2: I'm going to call myself out here. I feel like
Speaker 2: I was a part.
Speaker 1: Of that body back culture.
Speaker 2: And it's because back in the days, especially when I
Speaker 2: first had Lincoln, I feel like there was a lot
Speaker 2: of other people having babies similar time, and I feel
Speaker 2: like I did put pressure on myself. I put so
Speaker 2: much pressure on myself post birth and I showed the
Speaker 2: highlight reels post birth with Lincoln. I feel like I
Speaker 2: really did show and my body did bounce back.
Speaker 3: Was it healthy though?
Speaker 2: I don't feel like it was healthy the way that
Speaker 2: I did things back then. I didn't eat. I feel
Speaker 2: like enough for trying to feed a new baby.
Speaker 1: Because you were worried about your body.
Speaker 2: I was worried about my body, and that's why you
Speaker 2: didn't eat as much. Well, I didn't not eat as much.
Speaker 2: I ate the same as I did beforehand, but I
Speaker 2: felt like I should have been eating more. I feel
Speaker 2: like I should have been eating.
Speaker 1: Not because of the pressure you felt of weight gain.
Speaker 3: I think it was so many different reasons.
Speaker 2: I think that it was because you had a new baby,
Speaker 2: and you're just like, and everything's happening, your breastfeeding, and
Speaker 2: you're seeing all the weight dropping. You're like, oh, this
Speaker 2: is nice. You're wanting to fit back into your fucking clothes.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I just want to wear a pair of shorts.
Speaker 2: I remember thinking to myself, like, I just want to
Speaker 2: be able to wear a pair of shorts. With Reagan,
Speaker 2: I feel like I showed it all. I showed me
Speaker 2: with my stomach still being out here afterwards, and I
Speaker 2: told myself it's kind of like a little internal thing
Speaker 2: that I've never really shared before, but I told myself
Speaker 2: after especially Lincoln, because I feel like I really was
Speaker 2: a presence online at that time. And I reflect back
Speaker 2: on that, and I do feel shame around the way
Speaker 2: that I showed my body because I don't believe it
Speaker 2: was the healthiest way that I could have been doing things.
Speaker 2: I feel like the way reflecting now that I did
Speaker 2: things with Reagan.
Speaker 3: I was really intuitive.
Speaker 2: I ate whatever I wanted to eat, I listened to
Speaker 2: my body. I had so much more pressure. I had
Speaker 2: three kids, were renovating the house, and I was so
Speaker 2: much happier.
Speaker 3: I was so much more content.
Speaker 2: My body took a lot longer to change, but I
Speaker 2: didn't give a fuck because I feel like between link
Speaker 2: and between Reagan, I gained that body acceptance and I knew,
Speaker 2: like I've done this twice before, I know I'll get
Speaker 2: her back one day.
Speaker 3: So I feel like there wasn't so much pressure.
Speaker 2: But I feel like, first time baby, you might agree
Speaker 2: your body does change fairly quickly. Second time baby, I
Speaker 2: feel like it takes a little bit longer to shift,
Speaker 2: and then third time I felt like it took longer again.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I feel like with Linky, I feel like
Speaker 2: I wasn't kind to myself and I feel like I
Speaker 2: was digesting the wrong people on mine. At the time,
Speaker 2: I feel like I was watching other people who were
Speaker 2: having children that were super lean, and they were doing
Speaker 2: things I wasn't doing. They were working out really hard,
Speaker 2: they were doing this, they were doing that.
Speaker 1: But you're still comparing.
Speaker 3: Definitely, I was still comparing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I remember at that time really like watching
Speaker 2: them and being like, oh shit, well they're bouncing back
Speaker 2: like they're doing that, and they would actually even share
Speaker 2: meals that they ate and I would eat similar diet,
Speaker 2: but I was like, now, looking back, I'm like, I
Speaker 2: think I needed way more food. Yes, yeah, if you're breastfeeding,
Speaker 2: hat totally, but they were at the time too. So
Speaker 2: it does go to show how much of an impact
Speaker 2: it can have on your experience with the people that
Speaker 2: you were following. So just such a nice reminder to
Speaker 2: follow people who are more aligned with even how your
Speaker 2: body is changing as well and a healthy way of living.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, there definitely is a lot of toxic
Speaker 4: diet culture. It is hard being a girl online. It's
Speaker 4: hard having that pressure and everyone's showing the highlight reel
Speaker 4: because then you do expect yourself to be that, and
Speaker 4: you want to be that. You know, you want to
Speaker 4: feel in shape, you want to feel confident, and it
Speaker 4: is hard to accept the changes. I remember feeling like
Speaker 4: that with taj. I've always had a very healthy, fit lifestyle,
Speaker 4: so my body did respond pretty well.
Speaker 1: But during out my pregnantc there, I remember there'd be
Speaker 1: media articles of like.
Speaker 4: She's starving herself because she's so skinny one week, and
Speaker 4: the next week it was like, oh, she's gained. So
Speaker 4: she's announced she's gained fifteen kilos like someone healthy for
Speaker 4: the baby, and the same thing happened post baby. It
Speaker 4: was like, you know, look at a disgusting, flabby tummy
Speaker 4: and then while she's taking diet pills to like lose
Speaker 4: the weight, and I'm like what it was just like
Speaker 4: so much pressure from the outside world. I was like,
Speaker 4: let me just do me. Yeah, Like I didn't put
Speaker 4: pressure on myself to get back in shape. I really
Speaker 4: missed training so hard just for my mental health because
Speaker 4: I thoroughly enjoy going to the gym. I missed not
Speaker 4: being able to go as hard as what I used to,
Speaker 4: and I found that harder to take a step back.
Speaker 4: But I just remember being so freaking hungry and.
Speaker 1: I would eat so much. But I was just dropping.
Speaker 4: Weight like pretty quickly. I think because when you breastfeed
Speaker 4: two me in metabolism so much quicker. And because I
Speaker 4: trained for so many years and I trained up to
Speaker 4: thirty nine weeks pregnant with taj, I was lucky that
Speaker 4: I could. I think my body just turned through the energy.
Speaker 4: So I had a really good experience with that. And
Speaker 4: then it was a six and a half year gap
Speaker 4: between Taj and Tala, and yeah, I've just got so
Speaker 4: much love and respect for my body and appreciation for
Speaker 4: what it does. So when I gave birth to Taala,
Speaker 4: I remember touched to that to me, how long does
Speaker 4: it take for you not to look pregnant? But I
Speaker 4: just giggled because I was like, I'm not sure, honey,
Speaker 4: I don't know how long it's going to take. And
Speaker 4: this is my second baby. But I wasn't even focused
Speaker 4: on what I looked like. I was focused on, like,
Speaker 4: what's the best foods for me in my breast milk,
Speaker 4: what's going to help me nourish and heal from the inside,
Speaker 4: because even from the outside, if I look a certain way,
Speaker 4: like internally, your body goes through so much.
Speaker 1: And I really switched my focus to be like, yeah,
Speaker 1: what's actually important? What do I value?
Speaker 4: And that's health, and that's energy, and that's being around
Speaker 4: for my kids. So that was my more focus, and naturally,
Speaker 4: the body just followed. Definitely took way longer second time round, Yeah,
Speaker 4: for sure. So I'm guessing third time because your body
Speaker 4: it's separated again, it's like it's a lot more healing,
Speaker 4: it's a lot it's quite traumatic for your body to
Speaker 4: go through. Like, yes, it's beautiful, but it's a lot
Speaker 4: for your body to go through. But yeah, I just
Speaker 4: want to really chat about today and remind you that
Speaker 4: you just can't compare your body to someone else's, even
Speaker 4: like you know, my body to yours. I'm very tall,
Speaker 4: I have a long torso, so like we look just
Speaker 4: completely different. Your fitness background is completely different to my
Speaker 4: finness background. Your pregnancy, you were bleeding all the time,
Speaker 4: you had no energy to rest. Here I am in
Speaker 4: the gym lifting, you know, just as what I was prior.
Speaker 4: So my body coped really well and functioned really well,
Speaker 4: and then it took longer. With Tala, I definitely didn't
Speaker 4: get as much sleep. I didn't have as much energy
Speaker 4: as my first pregnancy. It's just all so different. So
Speaker 4: next time you compare yourself to this big influencer that's
Speaker 4: you know, bounced back a day later, just like, know
Speaker 4: that your journey looks different and that's okay.
Speaker 1: I bet it all as well.
Speaker 4: With Tala, I showed like days after five days after
Speaker 4: wearing the big knack easy.
Speaker 1: And I want to show like, yes, I still look pregnant.
Speaker 4: Yeah, look how soft and squishy is and even now,
Speaker 4: like when I stand, it's fine, but when I sit down,
Speaker 4: like my stomach is so wrinkly, like from the skin
Speaker 4: being so stretched. And they say after after thirty you
Speaker 4: lose elasticity. Yeah, Like, when I sit down it looks
Speaker 4: like I'm trying to think of what it looks like.
Speaker 4: It's just so crinkled and wrinkling, and I don't think
Speaker 4: they will ever go away, and that I definitely was
Speaker 4: a bit confronted with when I first remember first sitting
Speaker 4: down and seeing I was like, oh, because when your
Speaker 4: stand and you can't tell. And at first I was like, oh,
Speaker 4: oh shit, Okay, I don't love that, But I had
Speaker 4: that internal conversation You're like, you don't have to love it,
Speaker 4: but you can accept it and you can appreciate that
Speaker 4: it brought you a little girl. And I take one
Speaker 4: look at her, I'm.
Speaker 1: Like, she was worth it.
Speaker 4: I would do that ten times over to have these wrinkles. Definitely,
Speaker 4: it's just like changing the perception, changing your mindset, and
Speaker 4: focusing on what you can control. Also, it's quite dangerous
Speaker 4: if you go right hard into smashing and bashing your
Speaker 4: body again before you've been checked internally by a physio,
Speaker 4: Like what if you have ab separation or your public
Speaker 4: flaws not strong, You're putting all this pressure on yourself
Speaker 4: to go and exercise and go hard again, and then
Speaker 4: you do damage that's done for life. Yeah, Or you
Speaker 4: go on a diet but you're breastfeeding, you need at
Speaker 4: least five hundred calories more than what you normally would
Speaker 4: if you won't breastfeeding. You need to eat enough. You
Speaker 4: need a lot of carbohydrates, You need so many healthy
Speaker 4: fats to produce beautiful breast milk. This isn't the time
Speaker 4: or the season to be going on a diet. That
Speaker 4: time will come later on if you want to do that,
Speaker 4: But right now, it's about nurturing your baby, nurturing your body,
Speaker 4: and mentally getting in a really good space where you
Speaker 4: have a healthy relationship with your food that you're eating,
Speaker 4: your body and your mindset. Yeah, that's like the foundation
Speaker 4: for everything everything else will flow and follow.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and even before how you said like you can't
Speaker 2: compare to other people one hundred percent, but also like
Speaker 2: you can't compare with yourself. Like actually will often hear
Speaker 2: me say, like when we're talking about sizes and stuff
Speaker 2: and like, I don't look how I did three years ago.
Speaker 3: I don't.
Speaker 2: I was so tiny and so thin. Even after having Lincoln,
Speaker 2: I was in a completely different mindset. Now I just
Speaker 2: eat what I want, Whereas back then, I feel like
Speaker 2: I was restrictive. I wanted to look a certain way
Speaker 2: and I wanted to look a specific way. Now I
Speaker 2: embrace my curves. I love having a bum. I love
Speaker 2: feeling more And like Kurt as well. He's like my
Speaker 2: biggest cheerleader. He just always tells me so many positive
Speaker 2: affirmations about my body. Because I will try on clothes
Speaker 2: now from when I had Lincoln, maybe five years ago,
Speaker 2: and I'm.
Speaker 3: Like, they don't fit the same.
Speaker 2: And it can be triggering at times, even sometimes with
Speaker 2: active weight with Ashy, Yeah, like I will get size
Speaker 2: of that and I'm like, oh, I used to always
Speaker 2: be small, and I'm like these are digging in.
Speaker 3: I don't feel confident and.
Speaker 4: Just you eve and flow like sometimes you need to
Speaker 4: go back to a smalltimes I send you're an extra
Speaker 4: small like it's that's it. Yeah, it changes your hate
Speaker 4: yourself in those moments you're just like, oh, can you
Speaker 4: send me a meetum like or not?
Speaker 3: Now one hundred percent.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I feel like for a really long time
Speaker 2: I held so much worth.
Speaker 1: In the way that I looked definitely.
Speaker 2: In my appearance and having fucking abs pretty well showing.
Speaker 3: But I'll just stick thin.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel so much healthier now, Like, I feel
Speaker 2: so much better.
Speaker 4: And you know what that glows? Like the least interesting
Speaker 4: thing about you is your abs. I don't know what, No,
Speaker 4: you know what's so sexy? People think you are sexy
Speaker 4: when you're lean and got abs and you've got no
Speaker 4: body fat and like toned and perky, but with no
Speaker 4: say like, no, what's sexy is confidence. Yeah, it's you
Speaker 4: being your authentic self. It's you honoring yourself.
Speaker 1: It's you having.
Speaker 4: This bright, healthy glow that has come from looking after
Speaker 4: your body and speaking kindly to yourself. You can see
Speaker 4: within someone if they love themselves and as if you
Speaker 4: ever look at someone's abs, right, Like, I don't ever
Speaker 4: look at someone and think that makes them less worthy
Speaker 4: or less nice or less cool.
Speaker 3: Not now.
Speaker 2: But I feel like back in the day, I used
Speaker 2: to be like, oh, like gosh, like.
Speaker 4: You could admire it, but I didn't. You wouldn't think
Speaker 4: that makes them more worthy? No, not now yeah, yeah, no.
Speaker 2: Way, it's the least part about you. No, I'm so
Speaker 2: much happier and so much more confident, Isn't that crazy?
Speaker 2: I feel like I had like literal like abs back
Speaker 2: in the day and I was secure, so insecure me too,
Speaker 2: And now I'm like, yeah, I feel like so healthy.
Speaker 2: I feel like I feed my body, like I'm fueling it,
Speaker 2: like I give it way more nutritional food as well,
Speaker 2: Like back in the day it was like veggie might wraps,
Speaker 2: and like now I'm like veggies and meats and like
Speaker 2: all the good stuff. But yeah, it's just the relationship
Speaker 2: with my body is definitely evolved and changed over the years,
Speaker 2: and it's okay to be in those seasons, but it's
Speaker 2: acknowledging it and being like, okay, how can I shift
Speaker 2: from being there to now getting to that point of
Speaker 2: acceptance as well?
Speaker 4: And you know what too, Like it's also okay Like
Speaker 4: back in the day, I was very focused on my
Speaker 4: health and fitness, and I had a Bikini Body Challenge
Speaker 4: and I had an ab app and ad programs and
Speaker 4: for that season, I really loved it. Yeah, Like there's
Speaker 4: nothing wrong in a healthy way to be focusing on
Speaker 4: your health and fitness and to pushing your bodies to
Speaker 4: the limits and to see how far you can go
Speaker 4: and what it feels like.
Speaker 1: But it works until it doesn't work.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: It feels good until it doesn't feel good. Yeah.
Speaker 4: And I tell you what, Like my whole mindset shifted
Speaker 4: after I had tarj of Like it does not matter
Speaker 4: what it looks like anymore. It matters how I feel
Speaker 4: about my body, and it matters to appreciate what it's done.
Speaker 4: And since then, like even now, like training for me,
Speaker 4: it's not I don't go to the gym to get
Speaker 4: a perky ass, Like, yes, that's amazing. If it happens, it's.
Speaker 1: A good result. Yeah, go there.
Speaker 4: But it's literally for my mental health because it helps
Speaker 4: me feel good. When I feel good, I shine bright.
Speaker 4: When I shine bright, I can help more people.
Speaker 1: And that's my.
Speaker 4: Purpose here is to help other women feel amazing. So
Speaker 4: I have to leave with example, and that comes so
Speaker 4: natural for me now and I'm the same me and you,
Speaker 4: Like we eat what we want whenever we want, we
Speaker 4: enjoy it. It's like soul food going out for dinners
Speaker 4: and connection, Like there's so much more to life than
Speaker 4: calories and macros. Food is a source of nourishment. It's
Speaker 4: also a source of enjoyment and connection and memories. Like
Speaker 4: you literally see me light up when I talk about it.
Speaker 4: I'm like, oh, isn't it so funny that like now
Speaker 4: as well? And I feel more confident myself and everything.
Speaker 4: I go to the gym more than I have for
Speaker 4: a long time.
Speaker 1: I love yourself.
Speaker 3: That's why I know I do. I love myself so much.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's great, so good, that's why. But when you
Speaker 4: love your and respect your body, you want to do
Speaker 4: what's good for it, which is a nice healthy balance
Speaker 4: of going to him for a couple of weeks. It's
Speaker 4: going just for walks on your cycle, like it's honoring
Speaker 4: your body. That's respect for yourself.
Speaker 3: So true.
Speaker 1: It's so freaking cool.
Speaker 4: But yeah, I don't want anyone listening to this spoon
Speaker 4: if you're in that season where you're you know, at
Speaker 4: the moment, thought makes his partners doing bodybuilding, and it's
Speaker 4: really cool to see the amount of discipline he has
Speaker 4: to go through that and how hard he's worked and
Speaker 4: you know, tracing back since he's fifteen.
Speaker 1: He showed me photos of.
Speaker 4: Him like admiring Arnold, like he's always loved the sport.
Speaker 4: Like you're in a season right now where you're loving
Speaker 4: having to sit back and you're working really hard and
Speaker 4: that's awesome too. But this topic was more.
Speaker 2: Around the bums as well. For me personally, it was
Speaker 2: more about like the time and place. It's not like
Speaker 2: two weeks later, like yeah, I want to get back
Speaker 2: in those genes.
Speaker 4: It's like, give yourself grace girl, the bounce back pressure
Speaker 4: online and like always, like you said, like be really
Speaker 4: mindful of who you're following and what they're posting. If
Speaker 4: it's not aligning and it's not feeling good for you,
Speaker 4: don't judge them. That might feel really good for them. Yeah,
Speaker 4: what feels good for you, and you have that choice.
Speaker 4: I really dislike when people blame other accounts for where
Speaker 4: they're at. That's your trigger, that's your work. But it's like, oh,
Speaker 4: they influenced me to buy this or do this or
Speaker 4: eat this. It's like, no, they didn't. They shared their
Speaker 4: life and what's feel good for them. You made a
Speaker 4: decision that that's what you want to try. It's so
Speaker 4: much blame on other people and other mums and it's
Speaker 4: like no, no, no, this is our work. No one else's
Speaker 4: responsibility for where we're at and how we feel except
Speaker 4: for us, and taking radical responsibility is so important out.
Speaker 4: That's a really important point as well, is after you
Speaker 4: have a baby to get checked and not just externally
Speaker 4: because they can check your ab separation externally by like
Speaker 4: feeling around your tummy and check your pelvic floor strength,
Speaker 4: but finding a woman's viseo that will check you internally
Speaker 4: as well and actually see how long you can hold
Speaker 4: your pee for and see if there's any internal damage
Speaker 4: or tearing or whatever, because then they will be able
Speaker 4: to say what's safe and not safe for you exercise wise,
Speaker 4: and what you can do to help strengthen that, because
Speaker 4: if you don't do that and you jump straight into
Speaker 4: going back to hip classes, you could do damage to
Speaker 4: your powervic floor that's really hard to correct. I took
Speaker 4: it so slow with Tyler intentionally, yeah, so slow, Like
Speaker 4: I remember for my first walk, I literally went for
Speaker 4: like ten minutes around the block. And I wanted to
Speaker 4: go so slow because I knew for me, a healthy
Speaker 4: act of living lifestyle is something I want to have
Speaker 4: with the rest of my life, not just quickly to
Speaker 4: get back in shape. No, and if I don't take
Speaker 4: it slow and don't let everything heal. That's what I'm risking.
Speaker 2: But isn't it nice not having pressure to you, like
Speaker 2: being in your mum, Like the only thing you need
Speaker 2: to focus on is you and the baby.
Speaker 1: Skin to skin. Yeah, yeah, love flowing.
Speaker 2: Just even your hormones and that they're so out of
Speaker 2: balance and just connecting with yourself, connecting with your baby.
Speaker 4: And yeah, the hormones, that's a good point, Like they're
Speaker 4: trying to rebalance out. So if you go and add
Speaker 4: intense stress and pressure around exercise and food and like
Speaker 4: expectations and I've got to get back in shape, like,
Speaker 4: that's not going to help your hormones rebalance either. It
Speaker 4: is a time to go within that fourth train mester.
Speaker 4: Like back in the day, like women didn't even get
Speaker 4: out of bed. They had the community and their village
Speaker 4: and their family come in and grab the baby and
Speaker 4: take the baby while you slept and produce more milk.
Speaker 4: Because if you're not resting in your stress, you're not
Speaker 4: producing enough milk. So the whole family and tribe are
Speaker 4: bringing up this baby with the mum, but their fourth
Speaker 4: train mester, like in the Chinese and Japanese culture, they
Speaker 4: literally stay in bed for twelve weeks. Everyone around them
Speaker 4: is doing absolutely everything for them so that their body
Speaker 4: can fully heal. And I think that's so beautiful. Yeah,
Speaker 4: and it's not what we have in today's society, and
Speaker 4: it's not what a lot of us can do or
Speaker 4: can afford to do. But wherever you can slow down
Speaker 4: and just enjoy that time.
Speaker 3: Definitely, it grows by so quick.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, so fast, doesn't it.
Speaker 4: While we're on the topic of motherhood, I thought we
Speaker 4: could also tap into some other topics that.
Speaker 1: I feel arise.
Speaker 4: And I feel like something that's really prominent on social
Speaker 4: media is which I'm all for here celebrating the dads.
Speaker 4: But don't you feel like dads are celebrated and like
Speaker 4: praised when they look after the kids, and like comments
Speaker 4: that I hear from other women, especially when I go
Speaker 4: away for work or just like a chip away.
Speaker 1: You're so lucky Steve has the kids. Oh is he babysitting?
Speaker 4: It's like, no, they're his children as well a dad.
Speaker 4: But when moms have to do it all the time,
Speaker 4: they don't get praised, they don't get this gold star.
Speaker 4: But where has that dynamic like came from I think
Speaker 4: it's old traditional gender roles of like men going to work,
Speaker 4: women's staying. But these days, I think it's really cool
Speaker 4: that it's not fifty to fifty anymore. I think we're
Speaker 4: all doing too much because of the cost of living,
Speaker 4: which is really sad for a lot of women. I
Speaker 4: had a friend that gave birth recently, and she's like,
Speaker 4: I'm pretty sure I have to go back to work
Speaker 4: at four months because we can't afford for me not to.
Speaker 4: And that's absolutely like breaking her because she's like, I
Speaker 4: would love at least the whole first year with my baby,
Speaker 4: but it's not fifty to fifty anymore. Like dads are
Speaker 4: stepping in and helping so much more. And sometimes it's
Speaker 4: eighty twenty, sometimes it's seventy thirty. And this is a
Speaker 4: dance that Steve and I always talk about. It's like
Speaker 4: we check in. Sometimes I'll come home and I'm like, Babe,
Speaker 4: I'm at like a ten today, I'm ready to tap out,
Speaker 4: and he's like, cool, I've got this, Like I'm full
Speaker 4: of beans today. I can cook the dinner like you
Speaker 4: go around the couch and vice versa. And I think
Speaker 4: it's really nice and relationships can do that, dance together
Speaker 4: and support each other.
Speaker 1: Through their ebbs and flows.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think too, we should celebrate everyone. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I think like, yeah, we should celebrate them men and
Speaker 2: be like, well do but also we need to give
Speaker 2: that same celebration to women and be.
Speaker 3: Like, how's you're killing it? You're doing amazing.
Speaker 2: Look at how much you're juggling. Look we've donete my gosh,
Speaker 2: you cooked dinner, holy like put on you.
Speaker 4: Hard is to cook dinner with a koala toddler bear
Speaker 4: in your It's so hard. You're worried about Bernie and
Speaker 4: they won't get down there. If you put them down
Speaker 4: to stif something, they scream.
Speaker 1: It's hard.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, But just celebrating everyone and we're all doing the
Speaker 2: best we can, and I feel like we all need
Speaker 2: to be acknowledged more for all the.
Speaker 3: Things that we're doing. It's amazing.
Speaker 1: Everyone is amazing.
Speaker 4: So another thing that I wanted to chat on quickly,
Speaker 4: and I think we've slightly covered it maybe in our
Speaker 4: mum Q and A one which we did a couple
Speaker 4: of weeks ago, which if you are a mum, go
Speaker 4: listen to that was a really good episode. It's just
Speaker 4: the comparison around kids, this is really prominent. I get
Speaker 4: dams all the time, like, oh, even the other day
Speaker 4: it was like, oh my gosh, I have a daughter
Speaker 4: the same age as Tala. I could see she's using
Speaker 4: utensils like mother girl won't grab them like you know
Speaker 4: when to Tala start. And I was like, chill, it's
Speaker 4: so fine if your daughter's not using utensils, like they
Speaker 4: all grow and develop at different rates. It doesn't matter
Speaker 4: at the speed of that. And I'm so glad I've
Speaker 4: never fallen into that pressure because for Taj, there was
Speaker 4: like five of us that had kids around the same time,
Speaker 4: and he was the last to do everything. He was
Speaker 4: like the last to talk, the last to walk, the
Speaker 4: last to use utensils, the last week potty trained, last
Speaker 4: to not wear nappies, the last give up his bottles.
Speaker 4: And I did not care one bit because I just
Speaker 4: was like, I'm going to do what's right for him.
Speaker 4: I don't want there being any negative experience around these transitions.
Speaker 4: Whenever he feels ready, I'll lean into that. And it
Speaker 4: was just such a smooth, nice process. He told me
Speaker 4: when he wanted to give up bottles. Literally, I remember
Speaker 4: the day no more bot a big boy, and from
Speaker 4: then on he never had it. When sucking his thumb,
Speaker 4: it was like literally overnight, he's never sucked as some
Speaker 4: since when he was ready, Like toilet training took us
Speaker 4: a couple of days.
Speaker 1: Because he was ready. Yeah.
Speaker 4: So just because you see someone online getting babies out
Speaker 4: of their cots at fifteen months into a big bed, like,
Speaker 4: if that feels right for them, cool, But if your
Speaker 4: kid stays in a cot till three, that's also cool.
Speaker 1: Like stop comparing. It doesn't have to look or be
Speaker 1: a certain way.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And every single one of our kids has been
Speaker 2: so different, Like I feel like Miller and Lincoln were
Speaker 2: both specifically Miller took a long time to learn to swim, yeah,
Speaker 2: without a vest confidently and now like she's an amazing swimmer.
Speaker 2: And then Reagan she was like swimming like two like fish,
Speaker 2: like a fish. And then toilet training, Miller was incredible,
Speaker 2: she was like not even too and fully toilet trained.
Speaker 2: And then Reagan like she has struggled, Like she's been
Speaker 2: the one that's been a bit later. So it just
Speaker 2: changes each time. But I feel like personally, for myself,
Speaker 2: I definitely did go through times of comparison. I went
Speaker 2: through times of especially other kids around me, I'm like,
Speaker 2: oh shit, like their kids sitting, mine's not sitting yet.
Speaker 2: I did have that self talk of being like, am
Speaker 2: I not doing enough? Like it was more on myself,
Speaker 2: not on the child. It's more, Yeah, it was more like,
Speaker 2: am I not doing this enough? But I'm not doing
Speaker 2: that enough? Like you know, is it because of this?
Speaker 2: Is it because of that? So there was definitely a
Speaker 2: lot of self blame. Yeah, And then after obviously having
Speaker 2: a second kid, it's like no, because then this one's
Speaker 2: done that after like before everyone else, and then that
Speaker 2: one's done this, so you start to know is very
Speaker 2: individual for every single child. But definitely first time becoming
Speaker 2: a mum, I did. I remember being like, oh shit,
Speaker 2: am I not doing this right? Am I not capable
Speaker 2: of like giving her everything? And that's something like I
Speaker 2: speak about a lot with her cleft. Even when I
Speaker 2: foundut my pregnancy she was going to have one, I'm like,
Speaker 2: can I be the mum to give her everything that
Speaker 2: she needs? And now like hell yeah, But at the
Speaker 2: time the doubt. I remember the doubt. I was like
Speaker 2: can I do that?
Speaker 1: And it's so capable?
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, you were such a young mum too, like
Speaker 4: I probably was exposed to other mums maybe not putting
Speaker 4: pressure on their kids as well.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I had no friends that had kids or anything.
Speaker 2: Ye.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so it's very easy to get like influenced by
Speaker 4: outside noise. Yeah, and can care and just not be
Speaker 4: so sure of yourself, I suppose. Yeah, But that's just
Speaker 4: something I wanted to bring up because even then they
Speaker 4: like nappies. If they are still in nappies at three
Speaker 4: or four or whatever, when they get to ten, no
Speaker 4: one cares what age your kid was in nappies. It's
Speaker 4: like breastfeeding.
Speaker 1: You don't look at an adult and be like, oh
Speaker 1: she was breastfed, Oh my god, it must have been
Speaker 1: a bottlefeed, Like, you don't know. You don't care now.
Speaker 1: It doesn't define your worth or how smart you are
Speaker 1: or anything like that.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: You just do the best that you can and know
Speaker 4: that you're doing the best that you can. And every
Speaker 4: kid's so different. It's so cool that you can always
Speaker 4: talk about how different it has been because you've had
Speaker 4: three kids.
Speaker 3: It's so different every experience.
Speaker 2: And I look at myself with Miller, and I hold
Speaker 2: so much compassion for myself.
Speaker 3: I feel like I was just felt like I just
Speaker 3: wasn't capable.
Speaker 2: And then I like, look with Reagan and I was
Speaker 2: like I was so sure of myself.
Speaker 4: So nice.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that progression and growth.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you just learned that everyone half knows
Speaker 2: what they're doing, but half doesn't. I think you think
Speaker 2: everyone knows everything and they're like doing it perfectly, and
Speaker 2: then you're like everyone's just kind of half guessing.
Speaker 3: Try that doesn't like gate, let's just try this.
Speaker 4: Or even as mums, we have strength and confidence in
Speaker 4: different areas of motherhood. Yes, you know, something I'm really
Speaker 4: really good at, you might feel a bit more like,
Speaker 4: oh I'm not sure and other things. You know, even
Speaker 4: sleep training, like I feel like me and you're pretty
Speaker 4: confident that whereas I've had friends and it's just.
Speaker 1: Like, oh, like I don't know what to do, Like
Speaker 1: help me.
Speaker 4: Everyone's got strengths And like say with Taj and I
Speaker 4: was like everything pure everything mash like I was so
Speaker 4: nervous and scared and now flip side, I'm like Tyler
Speaker 4: has literally everything that we eat more confident.
Speaker 3: So confidence grows.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it really does. With experience, with knowledge, with confidence
Speaker 4: within yourself, with trusting as well, just trusting and backing
Speaker 4: yourself and trusting and backing your partner. Yeah, I remember, Oh,
Speaker 4: I remember with Taj I was so snappy at Steve,
Speaker 4: even though like obviously I didn't know what I was
Speaker 4: doing either, but I felt like he could do no right,
Speaker 4: like everything he did, like most men are definitely slower
Speaker 4: at like changing nap, you're getting them dressed.
Speaker 1: I would just get so frustrated.
Speaker 4: And it's been so different with Tyler, hence why we've
Speaker 4: had such a beautiful experience with her. But I remember
Speaker 4: just being like, oh, I'll just do it and take over,
Speaker 4: or like, oh, you're not cooking it right, we haven't
Speaker 4: mashed it enough, and like literally boss and tell him
Speaker 4: what to do. And I look back, I'm like, who
Speaker 4: do you think you are?
Speaker 1: Like that poor man?
Speaker 4: And no wonder he kind of like lost confidence, yeah,
Speaker 4: or even step back and didn't want to help as much,
Speaker 4: because it's like when every time I can fucking try
Speaker 4: and help, you're down my throat. So I now we're
Speaker 4: looking back, I'm like, no wonder you pull back and
Speaker 4: didn't be as hands on as what I would have
Speaker 4: liked you to been, because every time you tried it
Speaker 4: was down your throat. So it was so cool to
Speaker 4: go through that experience. We've obviously talked a lot about
Speaker 4: it coming into Tala. It was just like I just
Speaker 4: let him do whatever he wants, so we talk about
Speaker 4: what we feel is good. But I would never correct
Speaker 4: him on how he dresses her or how long he
Speaker 4: takes to do a nappy or anything like that. Like
Speaker 4: he's the best he can. The kids are alive, they're happy,
Speaker 4: they're smiling. Cool, you know, just take that pressure off
Speaker 4: to do things a certain way or be perfect with everything.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yucky.
Speaker 3: We were actually quite lucky.
Speaker 2: I feel like in the way now reflecting back with Miller,
Speaker 2: we didn't have a choice. It was teamwork from day off.
Speaker 2: So when I was pumping k was changing her nappy,
Speaker 2: and then when I was pumping the other boob or
Speaker 2: doing this, he was feeding on the bottle because we
Speaker 2: had to do the expressing. So it was kind of
Speaker 2: like nice in that way now, because I was always like,
Speaker 2: oh I was so this or so that.
Speaker 3: Now I'm like, oh no, I.
Speaker 2: Can see this silver I can see why that was
Speaker 2: naturally like from watching him so confident.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and he's had this dad.
Speaker 4: That showed him the way and like showed him how
Speaker 4: to be amazing dad. So I think it was more
Speaker 4: natural for Kurt to even just stand. It's for a
Speaker 4: lot of dads, like they haven't been showing that he
Speaker 4: had really hard upbringings.
Speaker 1: I've had dads that.
Speaker 4: Have told them to be quiet and like not express
Speaker 4: emotions and you know, really put into a corner.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I've told ashes, but I've never said on
Speaker 2: the podcast, but like growing up, Kurt's dad was just
Speaker 2: so hands on, Like he literally got up in the
Speaker 2: night and did.
Speaker 3: All the feeds so Depp could sleep.
Speaker 1: And you can literally see it. And now him as
Speaker 1: the grandpa amazing, it's still just his hands off.
Speaker 3: He's amazing.
Speaker 1: He's so good. But yeah, that's yeah, you can see
Speaker 1: where Kak.
Speaker 3: Gets it from.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's incredible.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so cool, good role model.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Okay, something else that I saw in the forum
Speaker 4: that I thought was really really interesting, and it was
Speaker 4: just I can't remember the exact comment, but it was
Speaker 4: basically a post about how tired and shit she feels.
Speaker 4: But it was almost like worded in a way that
Speaker 4: like that's just what moms have to feel. It was
Speaker 4: like really normalized and I got a little bit like
Speaker 4: upset by that because I was like, no, it does
Speaker 4: not have to feel like that. But if she's making
Speaker 4: that her truth, that's going to be her truth, that's
Speaker 4: going to be her reality.
Speaker 1: Like we get to create her own reality.
Speaker 4: And yes, there's times where it's exhausting and it's really
Speaker 4: hard and really overwhelming, but it should not be the
Speaker 4: norm or expected for moms to just always feel like
Speaker 4: shit for the rest of their lives now that they've
Speaker 4: become a mom.
Speaker 3: No way.
Speaker 2: But I guess it's really situational, you know, like with Kurt,
Speaker 2: like working six days a week, having Miller trying to
Speaker 2: pump bottle feed clean and being at home with her,
Speaker 2: Like fuck, that first year of her life was pretty
Speaker 2: fucking exhausting for sure, And I couldn't see the light
Speaker 2: at the end of the tunnel. So I can kind
Speaker 2: of relate in a way and see, you know. But
Speaker 2: then again, it's always in hindsight, like you work through
Speaker 2: it and you're like, oh my gosh, Like they do
Speaker 2: grow up, they do learn to do things for themselves,
Speaker 2: they do learn to you know, And I'm.
Speaker 4: Sure in that I feel like you're the type of
Speaker 4: person even through that you would have still found joy
Speaker 4: in your days and enjoy with your kids and enjoy
Speaker 4: with your partner. But this comment was kind of normalizing
Speaker 4: that we just always feel shit. No, And it's like,
Speaker 4: even if you're exhausted and tied, there's still joyful moments,
Speaker 4: you know, with your baby.
Speaker 3: I think the secret is slowing down, yeah, yeah, being
Speaker 3: more present.
Speaker 4: I think it's mindset too. I think like you get
Speaker 4: to decide how you view something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like you.
Speaker 4: Could view this as the shittest, hardest fucking day, like
Speaker 4: and like really use that language and energy behind it.
Speaker 4: Or you could be like, today is really tough, but
Speaker 4: I'm gonna go on the sunshine and I'm gonna do this,
Speaker 4: or like I know this is gonna last for ever
Speaker 4: and I'm so grateful to have this baby in my arms.
Speaker 1: I've dreamt of having a daylight this.
Speaker 4: You know, so many other mums would die to be
Speaker 4: in my position, and like the different energies behind that.
Speaker 4: And it's not to say that you can't talk about
Speaker 4: having a hard day.
Speaker 1: We all do it.
Speaker 4: But I just don't want mothers to think, even if
Speaker 4: you're pregnant right now, for that to scare you if
Speaker 4: someone reads them and goes, oh my gosh, what it's
Speaker 4: going to feel shit for the rest of my life
Speaker 4: because these mum's on here been like, Yeah, that's just
Speaker 4: the way it is.
Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be like that forever.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you can have a hard day, but it's not
Speaker 4: a hard life. You can have a rough patch, not
Speaker 4: a rough life. There'll be ebbs and flows throughout it.
Speaker 4: But if you can try to practice finding the silver
Speaker 4: lining and finding those joyful moments, even if they're split
Speaker 4: seconds where your baby like gazes at you, you know,
Speaker 4: find those moments through it, it will make life a
Speaker 4: lot more enjoyable. And that is a choice.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and even seeing how you can change things up,
Speaker 2: you know, are you needing extra rest? Are you trying
Speaker 2: to rest where you can? Is there anyone that you
Speaker 2: can lean on? Are you being too afraid to reach
Speaker 2: out for help? Like if there's someone that you can
Speaker 2: be like, hey, I feel like if you're at that
Speaker 2: point and you feel like that, like, is there anything
Speaker 2: that you can do rather than being like this is
Speaker 2: accepting and like this is how it has to be.
Speaker 3: What can I do to get out of this?
Speaker 4: You know, definitely, and a lot of moms I think
Speaker 4: really struggle to reach out help because guilt and also
Speaker 4: like I don't want to leave my baby with anyone else,
Speaker 4: and like there's lots to unpack behind all of that
Speaker 4: as well.
Speaker 2: But even if someone comes and clean your house, like
Speaker 2: even if they're not watching the baby, like just to
Speaker 2: help out it cooked dinner, dropped, dinner over like holy,
Speaker 2: like those are things I just help life changing.
Speaker 4: Yes, and leaning on your friends with other babies as well,
Speaker 4: like doing things together, Like even if it's like going
Speaker 4: around to your friends coming around and you're both cooking
Speaker 4: dinner together together that night, maybe that experience that normally
Speaker 4: feels hard and annoying, make it joyful. Pop music on together,
Speaker 4: get in the kitchen together, like put the kids down
Speaker 4: for a nap together, make it fun. Like there's different
Speaker 4: ways that we can find joy.
Speaker 2: Even getting out for a walk with a baby, Oh
Speaker 2: my gosh, so good, like change it to get out
Speaker 2: yeah the sunshine.
Speaker 1: Yeah so yeah.
Speaker 4: The person who wrote that, I hope you're listening, and
Speaker 4: I hope any other mums who read that and got scared.
Speaker 4: It doesn't have to be your reality. You can change
Speaker 4: the narrative by changing the way you look at things
Speaker 4: and see things.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm reading a book at the moment, the one
Speaker 2: that I shared to you the other day, almost shared
Speaker 2: my stories.
Speaker 3: Other day and actually as happy one. Yeah, it's like
Speaker 3: you can be happy no matter what.
Speaker 4: To get that.
Speaker 2: It's all about mindset, so exactly what you're saying. And
Speaker 2: basically we are the thinker of every thought, and every
Speaker 2: thought we think creates a feeling, but only we have
Speaker 2: control over what we think. So it's been consciously aware
Speaker 2: and rewiring your brain to be able to be happier
Speaker 2: and in a happier state of mind.
Speaker 4: So what you think becomes what you feel, and then
Speaker 4: those feelings become an action. Yeah, in your physical body,
Speaker 4: in your reality. It's like this triple connection. That's it
Speaker 4: so cool. Yeah, oh, thanks so much for joining us. Guys,
Speaker 4: really hope this was insightful and helpful. And we know
Speaker 4: motherhood can be scary and daunting, especially first time around.
Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely can.
Speaker 4: Watching your body change and your life change and losing
Speaker 4: your freedom and adapting to being fully responsible for this
Speaker 4: little human and the different challenges you go through and
Speaker 4: the different like dynamics in your relationship, it's a lot.
Speaker 3: It is a lot.
Speaker 1: Really is a lot. But you've got this. Believe in yourself.
Speaker 4: Slow down, take some time to just like breathe, communicate well,
Speaker 4: reach out for support, know that you're not alone, and
Speaker 4: take care of you.
Speaker 1: PS.
Speaker 2: Can we not normalize confusing someone's free time with their availability?
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I love that. I read that the
Speaker 1: other day too, So good, so good. PS. The magic
Speaker 1: you are looking for is in the work that you're avoiding. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love that one.
Speaker 3: I'm that one too.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: The spark, the outcome, the goal, whatever it is, it's
Speaker 4: right in front of you, but you've got to do
Speaker 4: the work to get there. Yeah, anything worthwhile, it never
Speaker 4: comes easy. Yeah, thank you, Thanks, thanks for joining us.
Speaker 1: Share it around. If you know another mum or pregnant
Speaker 1: friend that you think we'll get a lot out of.
Speaker 4: This episode, click that little follow button so you don't
Speaker 4: miss any of our future episodes. We upload every Monday,
Speaker 4: every Wednesday, and then we have a little Psycho bree
Speaker 4: recap short version of a previous episode like Highlight almost
Speaker 4: on a Friday. So when your ears three times a
Speaker 4: week now, which is really really cool.
Speaker 3: We'll see you guys next time.