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Speaker 1: Apogie production.

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Speaker 2: Trigger warning for today's episode. As we speak about body

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Speaker 2: image and distorted eating. We begin today by acknowledging the

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Speaker 2: traditional custodians of the land on which we gather today

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Speaker 2: and pay our respects to their elders past and present.

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Speaker 2: We extend that respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander

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Speaker 2: people's here today. Welcome to the Grow and Glow Podcast.

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Speaker 2: I'm Ashy, I'm Kiara. This is a podcast where we learn, laugh,

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Speaker 2: and level up together.

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Speaker 1: Let's go deep, let.

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Speaker 2: The emotions flow, and find the lessons to grow and Glow.

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Speaker 2: Nothing is off the table with Grow and Glow, and

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Speaker 2: we're here to be your expander.

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Speaker 3: Hello, guys, Welcome back.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Grow and Glow. This episode's all about motherhood.

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Speaker 4: It's the triggering topics around getting your body back and

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Speaker 4: toxic diet culture and just the pressure that motherhoods feel.

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Speaker 4: But we're also going to go into like a little

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Speaker 4: bit about relationships, how we felt around our different pregnancies

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Speaker 4: and burths and like bounce back, I suppose, and just yeah,

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Speaker 4: really get into the nitty gritty of it. Because this

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Speaker 4: came through as a request, but it's something that I

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Speaker 4: don't about you, but I get asked a lot about

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Speaker 4: my social media week to eat as well.

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Speaker 2: It's a lot of pressure on mums, definitely so much

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Speaker 2: pressure and there's a lot to unpack around body image.

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Speaker 4: So if you're a mum and you struggle with that,

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Speaker 4: or you are pregnant, you're struggling with the changes.

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Speaker 1: We're going to dive deep into it today and we've

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Speaker 1: got a lot to say. So buckle in, tight, buckle.

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Speaker 3: In tight, Go first is your share?

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Speaker 1: The last share of the week is like kind of

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Speaker 1: related to this.

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Speaker 4: There's actually a stat that I read eighty nine percent

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Speaker 4: of women will say no to activities because of what

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Speaker 4: they look like and how much they dislike their body.

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Speaker 3: Wow.

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Speaker 4: So I just want to remind everyone that your weight

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Speaker 4: and what you look like does not determine your worth.

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Speaker 4: So stop letting it ruin. You have incredible moments and

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Speaker 4: memories with the people that you love. Because when I

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Speaker 4: read this, I picture most mums at the side of

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Speaker 4: a swimming pool and not jumping into that swimming with

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Speaker 4: their kids because there's so embarrassed with their body, or

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Speaker 4: they're not proud of their body, or they just dislike

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Speaker 4: their body, but they're missing out on all those beautiful

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Speaker 4: moments like Mummy.

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Speaker 1: Come on the poor mummy, come on the beach. So true.

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Speaker 1: It's so sad. Eighty nine percent of women.

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Speaker 2: That's a high percentage rates and wow, really really sad.

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Speaker 4: So I'm glad that I spoke about that now because

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Speaker 4: I hope that all this information and our perspectives and

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Speaker 4: learnings around this topic will really help. This episode is

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Speaker 4: going to be amazing.

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Speaker 1: Yay, what's your share of the week.

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Speaker 2: My Share of the Week was actually recommended by one

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Speaker 2: of you guys, so thank you so much.

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Speaker 3: So on one of the.

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Speaker 2: Podcast episodes, I recommended my Georgia Olmari see perfume.

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Speaker 3: Oh yes, And I had a.

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Speaker 2: Girl message me and she's like, I need to tell

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Speaker 2: you about this website and I was like, oh, okay,

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Speaker 2: so it's called error. I think that's how you say it,

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Speaker 2: so it's a RR And she's like it has dupes

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Speaker 2: of perfumes. But she was like they're incredible, and I

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Speaker 2: was like, how do they last? Like are they actually

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Speaker 2: that good? She's like, literally, the smells so similar. Put

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Speaker 2: on last all day. I got the perfume. Thank you girl,

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Speaker 2: thank you.

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Speaker 3: So the Georgia.

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Speaker 2: Omani one's like two hundred and selling dollars and these

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Speaker 2: are like thirty dollars, thirty six bucks, And I was

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Speaker 2: just like wow, and it's like the exactcent.

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Speaker 1: There you go. Yes, I sell those, we do.

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Speaker 4: We've got the black Opium. Why I sell one? We've

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Speaker 4: got like quite a few now.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't have the sprays that we've got body

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Speaker 2: Miss sprays.

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Speaker 1: We've got perfumes. Now, you have perfumes as well as

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Speaker 1: perfume juice.

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Speaker 3: I don't own one perfume.

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Speaker 1: I don't have one.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, oh there you go. Yeah, so you know how

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Speaker 4: we've got the black sugar like bodycaster. We've got the

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Speaker 4: du perfume of the black opium.

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Speaker 3: By waysell, I've never even smelled one or seen one.

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Speaker 1: You love it?

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Speaker 3: Well, I'm intrigued, Oh my god.

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Speaker 4: Yes, play and a lot cheaper than normal perfume. And yeah,

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Speaker 4: perfumes last a lot longer than body Miss sprays. Like

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Speaker 4: the body Miss sprays I like for a little like

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Speaker 4: after I've got gone to the gym or quickly dumping

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Speaker 4: into the shops. But the perfume will last a lot longer.

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Speaker 4: And yeah, we've only had them for a couple months now.

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Speaker 4: But they have literally we've restocked them I think three

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Speaker 4: four times. They've flown off the shelves. Wow, Like I

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Speaker 4: damn's a crazy one in the back, Like we can't

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Speaker 4: keep up with the demand.

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Speaker 2: That's crazy, because yeah, I've got the body Miss Spray,

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Speaker 2: and I've used that I did not even know.

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Speaker 4: Had an inquiry for like a massive Australian wholesale that

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Speaker 4: wants to stock them as well. They're just they're really

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Speaker 4: cooled them in a beautiful like black sleep bottle.

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Speaker 3: There you go. You don't spend two hundred dollars. Guys

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Speaker 3: out there, I feel.

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Speaker 4: Like mixed about this whole Dukee culture thing. I think

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Speaker 4: it's so cool, like awesome because not with the cost

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Speaker 4: of living, not everyone can afford the high end makeup

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Speaker 4: and the high end perfumes and the high end bags

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Speaker 4: or whatever. But then I also have sometimes a little

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Speaker 4: bit of guilt of like all the original creators and designers.

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Speaker 4: But I just think in this day and age, like, yeah,

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Speaker 4: the cost of living is so expensive. You can spend

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Speaker 4: two hundred dollars and a perfume or thirty dollars in

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Speaker 4: a perfume, most of us will want to put the

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Speaker 4: rest of that money towards food, yeah, and paying the bills.

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Speaker 4: So I'm all for it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, love it all? Right, where do we start?

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Speaker 4: The pressure to bounce back is a real I think

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Speaker 4: social media has really contributed to this so much because

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Speaker 4: a lot of people are not showing their body immediately

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Speaker 4: after giving birth. Like I remember when I gave birth

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Speaker 4: to Tagh and Steve said to me, come blacily, did

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Speaker 4: not make this mistake again.

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Speaker 1: He was like, oh, you still look pregnant.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I was like, yes, I do.

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Speaker 4: Every body's body is going to respond so differently to pregnancy.

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Speaker 4: It depends so much on your genetics. It depends so

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Speaker 4: much on what you were eating, your fitness level before, during,

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Speaker 4: and after. It also depends on the type of birth

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Speaker 4: that you had. It depends if you had ab separation,

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Speaker 4: and then also your capacity and your energy post birth.

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Speaker 4: If you have a really callicky baby, things are going

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Speaker 4: to be a lot harder. You're going to be a

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Speaker 4: lot more sleep deprived, and you're probably not going to

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Speaker 4: have as much energy as someone who has a super cruisy,

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Speaker 4: chill baby to go on your walks every day. There's

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Speaker 4: so many factors that you have to take into consideration.

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Speaker 4: Before you put that pressure on yourself to bounce back.

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Speaker 4: And yes, society has played a role in social media,

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Speaker 4: but at the end of the day, like we get

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Speaker 4: of the information that we take in, we get a

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Speaker 4: choice of how we speak to our body and the

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Speaker 4: expectations we have on ourselves. So be super hyper aware

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Speaker 4: of where we're putting the blame and just be kind

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Speaker 4: to yourself.

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Speaker 1: Like you've literally.

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Speaker 4: Grown a baby for nine months, You've grown every organ,

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Speaker 4: every bone, every ligament. Like it's expected for your body

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Speaker 4: to change and it might not ever go back to

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Speaker 4: being the same. That's something we do have to come

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Speaker 4: acceptance in and I always say too with a body image,

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Speaker 4: sometimes you might not love the body that you're in,

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Speaker 4: but the in between is body acceptance and body appreciations.

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Speaker 4: If you are hating what you physically look like right now,

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Speaker 4: totally valid. If it's new, it's unknown. But let's just

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Speaker 4: take a step instead of leaping over to like, oh

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Speaker 4: I love my body and saying these affirmations that you

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Speaker 4: really don't believe, which is understandable, just come to body acceptance.

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Speaker 4: This is where I'm at right now. I just gave

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Speaker 4: birth to a baby, and body appreciation I just grew

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Speaker 4: a baby. I'm feeding my child, Like, look what my

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Speaker 4: body has done.

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Speaker 1: That's incredible.

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Speaker 4: Some of them don't get that privilege, don't get that

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Speaker 4: honor to be able to carry a baby. So really

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Speaker 4: trying to like shift your perspectives on the whole journey

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Speaker 4: and experience.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to call myself out here. I feel like

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Speaker 2: I was a part.

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Speaker 1: Of that body back culture.

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Speaker 2: And it's because back in the days, especially when I

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Speaker 2: first had Lincoln, I feel like there was a lot

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Speaker 2: of other people having babies similar time, and I feel

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Speaker 2: like I did put pressure on myself. I put so

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Speaker 2: much pressure on myself post birth and I showed the

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Speaker 2: highlight reels post birth with Lincoln. I feel like I

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Speaker 2: really did show and my body did bounce back.

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Speaker 3: Was it healthy though?

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Speaker 2: I don't feel like it was healthy the way that

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Speaker 2: I did things back then. I didn't eat. I feel

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Speaker 2: like enough for trying to feed a new baby.

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Speaker 1: Because you were worried about your body.

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Speaker 2: I was worried about my body, and that's why you

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Speaker 2: didn't eat as much. Well, I didn't not eat as much.

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Speaker 2: I ate the same as I did beforehand, but I

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Speaker 2: felt like I should have been eating more. I feel

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Speaker 2: like I should have been eating.

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Speaker 1: Not because of the pressure you felt of weight gain.

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Speaker 3: I think it was so many different reasons.

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Speaker 2: I think that it was because you had a new baby,

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Speaker 2: and you're just like, and everything's happening, your breastfeeding, and

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Speaker 2: you're seeing all the weight dropping. You're like, oh, this

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Speaker 2: is nice. You're wanting to fit back into your fucking clothes.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, I just want to wear a pair of shorts.

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Speaker 2: I remember thinking to myself, like, I just want to

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Speaker 2: be able to wear a pair of shorts. With Reagan,

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Speaker 2: I feel like I showed it all. I showed me

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Speaker 2: with my stomach still being out here afterwards, and I

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Speaker 2: told myself it's kind of like a little internal thing

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Speaker 2: that I've never really shared before, but I told myself

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Speaker 2: after especially Lincoln, because I feel like I really was

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Speaker 2: a presence online at that time. And I reflect back

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Speaker 2: on that, and I do feel shame around the way

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Speaker 2: that I showed my body because I don't believe it

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Speaker 2: was the healthiest way that I could have been doing things.

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Speaker 2: I feel like the way reflecting now that I did

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Speaker 2: things with Reagan.

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Speaker 3: I was really intuitive.

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Speaker 2: I ate whatever I wanted to eat, I listened to

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Speaker 2: my body. I had so much more pressure. I had

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Speaker 2: three kids, were renovating the house, and I was so

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Speaker 2: much happier.

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Speaker 3: I was so much more content.

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Speaker 2: My body took a lot longer to change, but I

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Speaker 2: didn't give a fuck because I feel like between link

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Speaker 2: and between Reagan, I gained that body acceptance and I knew,

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Speaker 2: like I've done this twice before, I know I'll get

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Speaker 2: her back one day.

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Speaker 3: So I feel like there wasn't so much pressure.

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Speaker 2: But I feel like, first time baby, you might agree

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Speaker 2: your body does change fairly quickly. Second time baby, I

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Speaker 2: feel like it takes a little bit longer to shift,

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Speaker 2: and then third time I felt like it took longer again.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, I feel like with Linky, I feel like

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Speaker 2: I wasn't kind to myself and I feel like I

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Speaker 2: was digesting the wrong people on mine. At the time,

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Speaker 2: I feel like I was watching other people who were

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Speaker 2: having children that were super lean, and they were doing

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Speaker 2: things I wasn't doing. They were working out really hard,

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Speaker 2: they were doing this, they were doing that.

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Speaker 1: But you're still comparing.

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Speaker 3: Definitely, I was still comparing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So I remember at that time really like watching

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Speaker 2: them and being like, oh shit, well they're bouncing back

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Speaker 2: like they're doing that, and they would actually even share

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Speaker 2: meals that they ate and I would eat similar diet,

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Speaker 2: but I was like, now, looking back, I'm like, I

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Speaker 2: think I needed way more food. Yes, yeah, if you're breastfeeding,

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Speaker 2: hat totally, but they were at the time too. So

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Speaker 2: it does go to show how much of an impact

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Speaker 2: it can have on your experience with the people that

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Speaker 2: you were following. So just such a nice reminder to

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Speaker 2: follow people who are more aligned with even how your

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Speaker 2: body is changing as well and a healthy way of living.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, there definitely is a lot of toxic

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Speaker 4: diet culture. It is hard being a girl online. It's

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Speaker 4: hard having that pressure and everyone's showing the highlight reel

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Speaker 4: because then you do expect yourself to be that, and

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Speaker 4: you want to be that. You know, you want to

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Speaker 4: feel in shape, you want to feel confident, and it

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Speaker 4: is hard to accept the changes. I remember feeling like

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Speaker 4: that with taj. I've always had a very healthy, fit lifestyle,

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Speaker 4: so my body did respond pretty well.

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Speaker 1: But during out my pregnantc there, I remember there'd be

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Speaker 1: media articles of like.

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Speaker 4: She's starving herself because she's so skinny one week, and

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Speaker 4: the next week it was like, oh, she's gained. So

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Speaker 4: she's announced she's gained fifteen kilos like someone healthy for

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Speaker 4: the baby, and the same thing happened post baby. It

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Speaker 4: was like, you know, look at a disgusting, flabby tummy

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Speaker 4: and then while she's taking diet pills to like lose

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Speaker 4: the weight, and I'm like what it was just like

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Speaker 4: so much pressure from the outside world. I was like,

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Speaker 4: let me just do me. Yeah, Like I didn't put

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Speaker 4: pressure on myself to get back in shape. I really

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Speaker 4: missed training so hard just for my mental health because

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Speaker 4: I thoroughly enjoy going to the gym. I missed not

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Speaker 4: being able to go as hard as what I used to,

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Speaker 4: and I found that harder to take a step back.

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Speaker 4: But I just remember being so freaking hungry and.

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Speaker 1: I would eat so much. But I was just dropping.

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Speaker 4: Weight like pretty quickly. I think because when you breastfeed

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Speaker 4: two me in metabolism so much quicker. And because I

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Speaker 4: trained for so many years and I trained up to

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Speaker 4: thirty nine weeks pregnant with taj, I was lucky that

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Speaker 4: I could. I think my body just turned through the energy.

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Speaker 4: So I had a really good experience with that. And

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Speaker 4: then it was a six and a half year gap

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Speaker 4: between Taj and Tala, and yeah, I've just got so

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Speaker 4: much love and respect for my body and appreciation for

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Speaker 4: what it does. So when I gave birth to Taala,

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Speaker 4: I remember touched to that to me, how long does

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Speaker 4: it take for you not to look pregnant? But I

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Speaker 4: just giggled because I was like, I'm not sure, honey,

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Speaker 4: I don't know how long it's going to take. And

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Speaker 4: this is my second baby. But I wasn't even focused

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Speaker 4: on what I looked like. I was focused on, like,

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Speaker 4: what's the best foods for me in my breast milk,

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Speaker 4: what's going to help me nourish and heal from the inside,

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Speaker 4: because even from the outside, if I look a certain way,

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Speaker 4: like internally, your body goes through so much.

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Speaker 1: And I really switched my focus to be like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: what's actually important? What do I value?

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Speaker 4: And that's health, and that's energy, and that's being around

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Speaker 4: for my kids. So that was my more focus, and naturally,

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Speaker 4: the body just followed. Definitely took way longer second time round, Yeah,

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Speaker 4: for sure. So I'm guessing third time because your body

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Speaker 4: it's separated again, it's like it's a lot more healing,

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Speaker 4: it's a lot it's quite traumatic for your body to

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Speaker 4: go through. Like, yes, it's beautiful, but it's a lot

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Speaker 4: for your body to go through. But yeah, I just

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Speaker 4: want to really chat about today and remind you that

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Speaker 4: you just can't compare your body to someone else's, even

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Speaker 4: like you know, my body to yours. I'm very tall,

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Speaker 4: I have a long torso, so like we look just

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Speaker 4: completely different. Your fitness background is completely different to my

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Speaker 4: finness background. Your pregnancy, you were bleeding all the time,

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Speaker 4: you had no energy to rest. Here I am in

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Speaker 4: the gym lifting, you know, just as what I was prior.

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Speaker 4: So my body coped really well and functioned really well,

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Speaker 4: and then it took longer. With Tala, I definitely didn't

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Speaker 4: get as much sleep. I didn't have as much energy

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Speaker 4: as my first pregnancy. It's just all so different. So

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Speaker 4: next time you compare yourself to this big influencer that's

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Speaker 4: you know, bounced back a day later, just like, know

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Speaker 4: that your journey looks different and that's okay.

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Speaker 1: I bet it all as well.

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Speaker 4: With Tala, I showed like days after five days after

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Speaker 4: wearing the big knack easy.

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Speaker 1: And I want to show like, yes, I still look pregnant.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, look how soft and squishy is and even now,

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Speaker 4: like when I stand, it's fine, but when I sit down,

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Speaker 4: like my stomach is so wrinkly, like from the skin

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Speaker 4: being so stretched. And they say after after thirty you

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Speaker 4: lose elasticity. Yeah, Like, when I sit down it looks

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Speaker 4: like I'm trying to think of what it looks like.

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Speaker 4: It's just so crinkled and wrinkling, and I don't think

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Speaker 4: they will ever go away, and that I definitely was

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Speaker 4: a bit confronted with when I first remember first sitting

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Speaker 4: down and seeing I was like, oh, because when your

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Speaker 4: stand and you can't tell. And at first I was like, oh,

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Speaker 4: oh shit, Okay, I don't love that, But I had

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Speaker 4: that internal conversation You're like, you don't have to love it,

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Speaker 4: but you can accept it and you can appreciate that

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Speaker 4: it brought you a little girl. And I take one

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Speaker 4: look at her, I'm.

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Speaker 1: Like, she was worth it.

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Speaker 4: I would do that ten times over to have these wrinkles. Definitely,

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Speaker 4: it's just like changing the perception, changing your mindset, and

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Speaker 4: focusing on what you can control. Also, it's quite dangerous

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Speaker 4: if you go right hard into smashing and bashing your

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Speaker 4: body again before you've been checked internally by a physio,

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Speaker 4: Like what if you have ab separation or your public

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Speaker 4: flaws not strong, You're putting all this pressure on yourself

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Speaker 4: to go and exercise and go hard again, and then

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Speaker 4: you do damage that's done for life. Yeah, Or you

349
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Speaker 4: go on a diet but you're breastfeeding, you need at

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Speaker 4: least five hundred calories more than what you normally would

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Speaker 4: if you won't breastfeeding. You need to eat enough. You

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Speaker 4: need a lot of carbohydrates, You need so many healthy

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Speaker 4: fats to produce beautiful breast milk. This isn't the time

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Speaker 4: or the season to be going on a diet. That

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Speaker 4: time will come later on if you want to do that,

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Speaker 4: But right now, it's about nurturing your baby, nurturing your body,

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Speaker 4: and mentally getting in a really good space where you

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Speaker 4: have a healthy relationship with your food that you're eating,

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Speaker 4: your body and your mindset. Yeah, that's like the foundation

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Speaker 4: for everything everything else will flow and follow.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and even before how you said like you can't

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Speaker 2: compare to other people one hundred percent, but also like

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Speaker 2: you can't compare with yourself. Like actually will often hear

364
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Speaker 2: me say, like when we're talking about sizes and stuff

365
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Speaker 2: and like, I don't look how I did three years ago.

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Speaker 3: I don't.

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Speaker 2: I was so tiny and so thin. Even after having Lincoln,

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Speaker 2: I was in a completely different mindset. Now I just

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Speaker 2: eat what I want, Whereas back then, I feel like

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Speaker 2: I was restrictive. I wanted to look a certain way

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Speaker 2: and I wanted to look a specific way. Now I

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Speaker 2: embrace my curves. I love having a bum. I love

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Speaker 2: feeling more And like Kurt as well. He's like my

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Speaker 2: biggest cheerleader. He just always tells me so many positive

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Speaker 2: affirmations about my body. Because I will try on clothes

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Speaker 2: now from when I had Lincoln, maybe five years ago,

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Speaker 2: and I'm.

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Speaker 3: Like, they don't fit the same.

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Speaker 2: And it can be triggering at times, even sometimes with

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Speaker 2: active weight with Ashy, Yeah, like I will get size

381
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Speaker 2: of that and I'm like, oh, I used to always

382
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Speaker 2: be small, and I'm like these are digging in.

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Speaker 3: I don't feel confident and.

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Speaker 4: Just you eve and flow like sometimes you need to

385
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Speaker 4: go back to a smalltimes I send you're an extra

386
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Speaker 4: small like it's that's it. Yeah, it changes your hate

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00:16:20,241 --> 00:16:21,961
Speaker 4: yourself in those moments you're just like, oh, can you

388
00:16:21,961 --> 00:16:23,081
Speaker 4: send me a meetum like or not?

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Speaker 3: Now one hundred percent.

390
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Speaker 2: But yeah, I feel like for a really long time

391
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Speaker 2: I held so much worth.

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Speaker 1: In the way that I looked definitely.

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Speaker 2: In my appearance and having fucking abs pretty well showing.

394
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Speaker 3: But I'll just stick thin.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel so much healthier now, Like, I feel

396
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Speaker 2: so much better.

397
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Speaker 4: And you know what that glows? Like the least interesting

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Speaker 4: thing about you is your abs. I don't know what, No,

399
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Speaker 4: you know what's so sexy? People think you are sexy

400
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Speaker 4: when you're lean and got abs and you've got no

401
00:16:52,641 --> 00:16:55,041
Speaker 4: body fat and like toned and perky, but with no

402
00:16:55,161 --> 00:16:58,361
Speaker 4: say like, no, what's sexy is confidence. Yeah, it's you

403
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Speaker 4: being your authentic self. It's you honoring yourself.

404
00:17:00,681 --> 00:17:01,401
Speaker 1: It's you having.

405
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Speaker 4: This bright, healthy glow that has come from looking after

406
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Speaker 4: your body and speaking kindly to yourself. You can see

407
00:17:07,721 --> 00:17:10,281
Speaker 4: within someone if they love themselves and as if you

408
00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:12,481
Speaker 4: ever look at someone's abs, right, Like, I don't ever

409
00:17:12,521 --> 00:17:15,120
Speaker 4: look at someone and think that makes them less worthy

410
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Speaker 4: or less nice or less cool.

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Speaker 3: Not now.

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Speaker 2: But I feel like back in the day, I used

413
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Speaker 2: to be like, oh, like gosh, like.

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Speaker 4: You could admire it, but I didn't. You wouldn't think

415
00:17:24,441 --> 00:17:27,921
Speaker 4: that makes them more worthy? No, not now yeah, yeah, no.

416
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:31,041
Speaker 2: Way, it's the least part about you. No, I'm so

417
00:17:31,120 --> 00:17:34,201
Speaker 2: much happier and so much more confident, Isn't that crazy?

418
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Speaker 2: I feel like I had like literal like abs back

419
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Speaker 2: in the day and I was secure, so insecure me too,

420
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Speaker 2: And now I'm like, yeah, I feel like so healthy.

421
00:17:42,921 --> 00:17:46,120
Speaker 2: I feel like I feed my body, like I'm fueling it,

422
00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:48,161
Speaker 2: like I give it way more nutritional food as well,

423
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Speaker 2: Like back in the day it was like veggie might wraps,

424
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Speaker 2: and like now I'm like veggies and meats and like

425
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:56,481
Speaker 2: all the good stuff. But yeah, it's just the relationship

426
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Speaker 2: with my body is definitely evolved and changed over the years,

427
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Speaker 2: and it's okay to be in those seasons, but it's

428
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Speaker 2: acknowledging it and being like, okay, how can I shift

429
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Speaker 2: from being there to now getting to that point of

430
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Speaker 2: acceptance as well?

431
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Speaker 4: And you know what too, Like it's also okay Like

432
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Speaker 4: back in the day, I was very focused on my

433
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Speaker 4: health and fitness, and I had a Bikini Body Challenge

434
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Speaker 4: and I had an ab app and ad programs and

435
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Speaker 4: for that season, I really loved it. Yeah, Like there's

436
00:18:18,321 --> 00:18:21,200
Speaker 4: nothing wrong in a healthy way to be focusing on

437
00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:22,761
Speaker 4: your health and fitness and to pushing your bodies to

438
00:18:22,801 --> 00:18:25,041
Speaker 4: the limits and to see how far you can go

439
00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:26,000
Speaker 4: and what it feels like.

440
00:18:26,041 --> 00:18:27,640
Speaker 1: But it works until it doesn't work.

441
00:18:27,801 --> 00:18:28,120
Speaker 3: Yeah.

442
00:18:28,201 --> 00:18:30,400
Speaker 1: It feels good until it doesn't feel good. Yeah.

443
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,881
Speaker 4: And I tell you what, Like my whole mindset shifted

444
00:18:32,921 --> 00:18:35,681
Speaker 4: after I had tarj of Like it does not matter

445
00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:37,721
Speaker 4: what it looks like anymore. It matters how I feel

446
00:18:37,761 --> 00:18:40,201
Speaker 4: about my body, and it matters to appreciate what it's done.

447
00:18:40,201 --> 00:18:43,080
Speaker 4: And since then, like even now, like training for me,

448
00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:45,241
Speaker 4: it's not I don't go to the gym to get

449
00:18:45,281 --> 00:18:47,681
Speaker 4: a perky ass, Like, yes, that's amazing. If it happens, it's.

450
00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:49,641
Speaker 1: A good result. Yeah, go there.

451
00:18:50,441 --> 00:18:52,481
Speaker 4: But it's literally for my mental health because it helps

452
00:18:52,521 --> 00:18:54,561
Speaker 4: me feel good. When I feel good, I shine bright.

453
00:18:55,001 --> 00:18:56,721
Speaker 4: When I shine bright, I can help more people.

454
00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:57,441
Speaker 1: And that's my.

455
00:18:57,521 --> 00:19:00,440
Speaker 4: Purpose here is to help other women feel amazing. So

456
00:19:00,481 --> 00:19:02,080
Speaker 4: I have to leave with example, and that comes so

457
00:19:02,201 --> 00:19:04,241
Speaker 4: natural for me now and I'm the same me and you,

458
00:19:04,321 --> 00:19:06,280
Speaker 4: Like we eat what we want whenever we want, we

459
00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:08,240
Speaker 4: enjoy it. It's like soul food going out for dinners

460
00:19:08,241 --> 00:19:10,920
Speaker 4: and connection, Like there's so much more to life than

461
00:19:11,001 --> 00:19:14,281
Speaker 4: calories and macros. Food is a source of nourishment. It's

462
00:19:14,321 --> 00:19:18,521
Speaker 4: also a source of enjoyment and connection and memories. Like

463
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:20,321
Speaker 4: you literally see me light up when I talk about it.

464
00:19:20,321 --> 00:19:23,080
Speaker 4: I'm like, oh, isn't it so funny that like now

465
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:25,360
Speaker 4: as well? And I feel more confident myself and everything.

466
00:19:25,481 --> 00:19:27,200
Speaker 4: I go to the gym more than I have for

467
00:19:27,241 --> 00:19:27,681
Speaker 4: a long time.

468
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:28,881
Speaker 1: I love yourself.

469
00:19:28,921 --> 00:19:31,321
Speaker 3: That's why I know I do. I love myself so much.

470
00:19:31,561 --> 00:19:34,561
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's great, so good, that's why. But when you

471
00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:36,760
Speaker 4: love your and respect your body, you want to do

472
00:19:36,801 --> 00:19:39,281
Speaker 4: what's good for it, which is a nice healthy balance

473
00:19:39,281 --> 00:19:40,761
Speaker 4: of going to him for a couple of weeks. It's

474
00:19:40,761 --> 00:19:42,961
Speaker 4: going just for walks on your cycle, like it's honoring

475
00:19:43,441 --> 00:19:45,401
Speaker 4: your body. That's respect for yourself.

476
00:19:45,561 --> 00:19:46,080
Speaker 3: So true.

477
00:19:46,201 --> 00:19:47,201
Speaker 1: It's so freaking cool.

478
00:19:47,801 --> 00:19:49,721
Speaker 4: But yeah, I don't want anyone listening to this spoon

479
00:19:49,961 --> 00:19:51,960
Speaker 4: if you're in that season where you're you know, at

480
00:19:52,001 --> 00:19:54,721
Speaker 4: the moment, thought makes his partners doing bodybuilding, and it's

481
00:19:54,801 --> 00:19:56,801
Speaker 4: really cool to see the amount of discipline he has

482
00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:58,801
Speaker 4: to go through that and how hard he's worked and

483
00:19:59,041 --> 00:20:00,801
Speaker 4: you know, tracing back since he's fifteen.

484
00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:01,600
Speaker 1: He showed me photos of.

485
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:04,761
Speaker 4: Him like admiring Arnold, like he's always loved the sport.

486
00:20:04,801 --> 00:20:06,681
Speaker 4: Like you're in a season right now where you're loving

487
00:20:06,721 --> 00:20:08,600
Speaker 4: having to sit back and you're working really hard and

488
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:11,961
Speaker 4: that's awesome too. But this topic was more.

489
00:20:11,801 --> 00:20:14,840
Speaker 2: Around the bums as well. For me personally, it was

490
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,321
Speaker 2: more about like the time and place. It's not like

491
00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:18,880
Speaker 2: two weeks later, like yeah, I want to get back

492
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:19,521
Speaker 2: in those genes.

493
00:20:19,561 --> 00:20:22,681
Speaker 4: It's like, give yourself grace girl, the bounce back pressure

494
00:20:22,961 --> 00:20:26,521
Speaker 4: online and like always, like you said, like be really

495
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,321
Speaker 4: mindful of who you're following and what they're posting. If

496
00:20:29,321 --> 00:20:31,241
Speaker 4: it's not aligning and it's not feeling good for you,

497
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:33,481
Speaker 4: don't judge them. That might feel really good for them. Yeah,

498
00:20:33,521 --> 00:20:35,561
Speaker 4: what feels good for you, and you have that choice.

499
00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:41,440
Speaker 4: I really dislike when people blame other accounts for where

500
00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:44,441
Speaker 4: they're at. That's your trigger, that's your work. But it's like, oh,

501
00:20:44,521 --> 00:20:46,801
Speaker 4: they influenced me to buy this or do this or

502
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:49,281
Speaker 4: eat this. It's like, no, they didn't. They shared their

503
00:20:49,321 --> 00:20:50,840
Speaker 4: life and what's feel good for them. You made a

504
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:53,360
Speaker 4: decision that that's what you want to try. It's so

505
00:20:53,441 --> 00:20:55,801
Speaker 4: much blame on other people and other mums and it's

506
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:58,640
Speaker 4: like no, no, no, this is our work. No one else's

507
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:01,521
Speaker 4: responsibility for where we're at and how we feel except

508
00:21:01,521 --> 00:21:05,281
Speaker 4: for us, and taking radical responsibility is so important out.

509
00:21:05,481 --> 00:21:08,200
Speaker 4: That's a really important point as well, is after you

510
00:21:08,201 --> 00:21:10,921
Speaker 4: have a baby to get checked and not just externally

511
00:21:10,921 --> 00:21:13,400
Speaker 4: because they can check your ab separation externally by like

512
00:21:13,441 --> 00:21:15,760
Speaker 4: feeling around your tummy and check your pelvic floor strength,

513
00:21:15,801 --> 00:21:18,600
Speaker 4: but finding a woman's viseo that will check you internally

514
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:20,961
Speaker 4: as well and actually see how long you can hold

515
00:21:20,961 --> 00:21:24,080
Speaker 4: your pee for and see if there's any internal damage

516
00:21:24,120 --> 00:21:26,080
Speaker 4: or tearing or whatever, because then they will be able

517
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:29,321
Speaker 4: to say what's safe and not safe for you exercise wise,

518
00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:31,480
Speaker 4: and what you can do to help strengthen that, because

519
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:33,681
Speaker 4: if you don't do that and you jump straight into

520
00:21:33,681 --> 00:21:36,761
Speaker 4: going back to hip classes, you could do damage to

521
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:40,840
Speaker 4: your powervic floor that's really hard to correct. I took

522
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:45,760
Speaker 4: it so slow with Tyler intentionally, yeah, so slow, Like

523
00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:47,680
Speaker 4: I remember for my first walk, I literally went for

524
00:21:47,721 --> 00:21:49,481
Speaker 4: like ten minutes around the block. And I wanted to

525
00:21:49,521 --> 00:21:51,400
Speaker 4: go so slow because I knew for me, a healthy

526
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:53,840
Speaker 4: act of living lifestyle is something I want to have

527
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:55,281
Speaker 4: with the rest of my life, not just quickly to

528
00:21:55,321 --> 00:21:57,641
Speaker 4: get back in shape. No, and if I don't take

529
00:21:57,681 --> 00:22:01,240
Speaker 4: it slow and don't let everything heal. That's what I'm risking.

530
00:22:01,360 --> 00:22:03,160
Speaker 2: But isn't it nice not having pressure to you, like

531
00:22:03,241 --> 00:22:04,960
Speaker 2: being in your mum, Like the only thing you need

532
00:22:04,961 --> 00:22:08,041
Speaker 2: to focus on is you and the baby.

533
00:22:07,761 --> 00:22:10,880
Speaker 1: Skin to skin. Yeah, yeah, love flowing.

534
00:22:10,721 --> 00:22:12,920
Speaker 2: Just even your hormones and that they're so out of

535
00:22:12,961 --> 00:22:16,200
Speaker 2: balance and just connecting with yourself, connecting with your baby.

536
00:22:16,281 --> 00:22:19,201
Speaker 4: And yeah, the hormones, that's a good point, Like they're

537
00:22:19,241 --> 00:22:21,360
Speaker 4: trying to rebalance out. So if you go and add

538
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:25,240
Speaker 4: intense stress and pressure around exercise and food and like

539
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:27,480
Speaker 4: expectations and I've got to get back in shape, like,

540
00:22:27,521 --> 00:22:30,120
Speaker 4: that's not going to help your hormones rebalance either. It

541
00:22:30,201 --> 00:22:32,201
Speaker 4: is a time to go within that fourth train mester.

542
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:34,280
Speaker 4: Like back in the day, like women didn't even get

543
00:22:34,321 --> 00:22:36,561
Speaker 4: out of bed. They had the community and their village

544
00:22:36,561 --> 00:22:38,561
Speaker 4: and their family come in and grab the baby and

545
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:41,561
Speaker 4: take the baby while you slept and produce more milk.

546
00:22:41,801 --> 00:22:43,480
Speaker 4: Because if you're not resting in your stress, you're not

547
00:22:43,481 --> 00:22:46,200
Speaker 4: producing enough milk. So the whole family and tribe are

548
00:22:46,241 --> 00:22:47,921
Speaker 4: bringing up this baby with the mum, but their fourth

549
00:22:47,961 --> 00:22:50,801
Speaker 4: train mester, like in the Chinese and Japanese culture, they

550
00:22:50,801 --> 00:22:53,200
Speaker 4: literally stay in bed for twelve weeks. Everyone around them

551
00:22:53,241 --> 00:22:55,561
Speaker 4: is doing absolutely everything for them so that their body

552
00:22:55,561 --> 00:22:58,121
Speaker 4: can fully heal. And I think that's so beautiful. Yeah,

553
00:22:58,120 --> 00:23:00,480
Speaker 4: and it's not what we have in today's society, and

554
00:23:00,521 --> 00:23:02,321
Speaker 4: it's not what a lot of us can do or

555
00:23:02,321 --> 00:23:05,441
Speaker 4: can afford to do. But wherever you can slow down

556
00:23:05,441 --> 00:23:07,080
Speaker 4: and just enjoy that time.

557
00:23:06,961 --> 00:23:08,241
Speaker 3: Definitely, it grows by so quick.

558
00:23:08,281 --> 00:23:09,801
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, so fast, doesn't it.

559
00:23:10,241 --> 00:23:12,001
Speaker 4: While we're on the topic of motherhood, I thought we

560
00:23:12,041 --> 00:23:14,601
Speaker 4: could also tap into some other topics that.

561
00:23:14,561 --> 00:23:15,761
Speaker 1: I feel arise.

562
00:23:17,041 --> 00:23:20,001
Speaker 4: And I feel like something that's really prominent on social

563
00:23:20,041 --> 00:23:22,880
Speaker 4: media is which I'm all for here celebrating the dads.

564
00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:25,720
Speaker 4: But don't you feel like dads are celebrated and like

565
00:23:25,921 --> 00:23:28,920
Speaker 4: praised when they look after the kids, and like comments

566
00:23:28,961 --> 00:23:30,561
Speaker 4: that I hear from other women, especially when I go

567
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:32,881
Speaker 4: away for work or just like a chip away.

568
00:23:32,721 --> 00:23:35,921
Speaker 1: You're so lucky Steve has the kids. Oh is he babysitting?

569
00:23:35,961 --> 00:23:39,321
Speaker 4: It's like, no, they're his children as well a dad.

570
00:23:39,521 --> 00:23:41,880
Speaker 4: But when moms have to do it all the time,

571
00:23:42,201 --> 00:23:44,241
Speaker 4: they don't get praised, they don't get this gold star.

572
00:23:45,001 --> 00:23:48,520
Speaker 4: But where has that dynamic like came from I think

573
00:23:48,561 --> 00:23:51,121
Speaker 4: it's old traditional gender roles of like men going to work,

574
00:23:51,201 --> 00:23:54,321
Speaker 4: women's staying. But these days, I think it's really cool

575
00:23:54,360 --> 00:23:57,401
Speaker 4: that it's not fifty to fifty anymore. I think we're

576
00:23:57,441 --> 00:24:00,120
Speaker 4: all doing too much because of the cost of living,

577
00:24:00,120 --> 00:24:02,400
Speaker 4: which is really sad for a lot of women. I

578
00:24:02,441 --> 00:24:04,440
Speaker 4: had a friend that gave birth recently, and she's like,

579
00:24:04,481 --> 00:24:06,201
Speaker 4: I'm pretty sure I have to go back to work

580
00:24:06,201 --> 00:24:09,400
Speaker 4: at four months because we can't afford for me not to.

581
00:24:10,001 --> 00:24:12,281
Speaker 4: And that's absolutely like breaking her because she's like, I

582
00:24:12,321 --> 00:24:14,480
Speaker 4: would love at least the whole first year with my baby,

583
00:24:15,201 --> 00:24:17,920
Speaker 4: but it's not fifty to fifty anymore. Like dads are

584
00:24:17,921 --> 00:24:20,881
Speaker 4: stepping in and helping so much more. And sometimes it's

585
00:24:21,201 --> 00:24:23,400
Speaker 4: eighty twenty, sometimes it's seventy thirty. And this is a

586
00:24:23,481 --> 00:24:25,241
Speaker 4: dance that Steve and I always talk about. It's like

587
00:24:25,281 --> 00:24:28,241
Speaker 4: we check in. Sometimes I'll come home and I'm like, Babe,

588
00:24:28,561 --> 00:24:31,161
Speaker 4: I'm at like a ten today, I'm ready to tap out,

589
00:24:31,201 --> 00:24:33,601
Speaker 4: and he's like, cool, I've got this, Like I'm full

590
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:35,200
Speaker 4: of beans today. I can cook the dinner like you

591
00:24:35,241 --> 00:24:37,881
Speaker 4: go around the couch and vice versa. And I think

592
00:24:37,921 --> 00:24:40,681
Speaker 4: it's really nice and relationships can do that, dance together

593
00:24:40,721 --> 00:24:41,640
Speaker 4: and support each other.

594
00:24:41,521 --> 00:24:42,601
Speaker 1: Through their ebbs and flows.

595
00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:45,681
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think too, we should celebrate everyone. Yeah,

596
00:24:45,801 --> 00:24:47,600
Speaker 2: I think like, yeah, we should celebrate them men and

597
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:49,201
Speaker 2: be like, well do but also we need to give

598
00:24:49,241 --> 00:24:51,001
Speaker 2: that same celebration to women and be.

599
00:24:51,041 --> 00:24:52,881
Speaker 3: Like, how's you're killing it? You're doing amazing.

600
00:24:52,961 --> 00:24:55,161
Speaker 2: Look at how much you're juggling. Look we've donete my gosh,

601
00:24:55,241 --> 00:24:58,121
Speaker 2: you cooked dinner, holy like put on you.

602
00:24:58,241 --> 00:25:00,280
Speaker 4: Hard is to cook dinner with a koala toddler bear

603
00:25:00,321 --> 00:25:03,120
Speaker 4: in your It's so hard. You're worried about Bernie and

604
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:04,721
Speaker 4: they won't get down there. If you put them down

605
00:25:04,721 --> 00:25:05,920
Speaker 4: to stif something, they scream.

606
00:25:06,041 --> 00:25:06,521
Speaker 1: It's hard.

607
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:07,480
Speaker 3: Yeah.

608
00:25:07,561 --> 00:25:09,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, But just celebrating everyone and we're all doing the

609
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:11,641
Speaker 2: best we can, and I feel like we all need

610
00:25:11,681 --> 00:25:14,120
Speaker 2: to be acknowledged more for all the.

611
00:25:14,001 --> 00:25:16,001
Speaker 3: Things that we're doing. It's amazing.

612
00:25:16,481 --> 00:25:17,521
Speaker 1: Everyone is amazing.

613
00:25:19,120 --> 00:25:20,961
Speaker 4: So another thing that I wanted to chat on quickly,

614
00:25:20,961 --> 00:25:23,281
Speaker 4: and I think we've slightly covered it maybe in our

615
00:25:23,360 --> 00:25:25,080
Speaker 4: mum Q and A one which we did a couple

616
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:26,680
Speaker 4: of weeks ago, which if you are a mum, go

617
00:25:26,801 --> 00:25:28,880
Speaker 4: listen to that was a really good episode. It's just

618
00:25:28,921 --> 00:25:32,480
Speaker 4: the comparison around kids, this is really prominent. I get

619
00:25:32,561 --> 00:25:34,881
Speaker 4: dams all the time, like, oh, even the other day

620
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:36,321
Speaker 4: it was like, oh my gosh, I have a daughter

621
00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:38,401
Speaker 4: the same age as Tala. I could see she's using

622
00:25:38,481 --> 00:25:41,041
Speaker 4: utensils like mother girl won't grab them like you know

623
00:25:41,120 --> 00:25:44,161
Speaker 4: when to Tala start. And I was like, chill, it's

624
00:25:44,201 --> 00:25:46,441
Speaker 4: so fine if your daughter's not using utensils, like they

625
00:25:46,521 --> 00:25:49,920
Speaker 4: all grow and develop at different rates. It doesn't matter

626
00:25:49,961 --> 00:25:51,881
Speaker 4: at the speed of that. And I'm so glad I've

627
00:25:51,921 --> 00:25:54,880
Speaker 4: never fallen into that pressure because for Taj, there was

628
00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:56,761
Speaker 4: like five of us that had kids around the same time,

629
00:25:56,761 --> 00:25:58,600
Speaker 4: and he was the last to do everything. He was

630
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:00,600
Speaker 4: like the last to talk, the last to walk, the

631
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:03,600
Speaker 4: last to use utensils, the last week potty trained, last

632
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:05,921
Speaker 4: to not wear nappies, the last give up his bottles.

633
00:26:05,921 --> 00:26:08,521
Speaker 4: And I did not care one bit because I just

634
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:10,081
Speaker 4: was like, I'm going to do what's right for him.

635
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:13,121
Speaker 4: I don't want there being any negative experience around these transitions.

636
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:15,761
Speaker 4: Whenever he feels ready, I'll lean into that. And it

637
00:26:15,801 --> 00:26:18,480
Speaker 4: was just such a smooth, nice process. He told me

638
00:26:18,481 --> 00:26:20,241
Speaker 4: when he wanted to give up bottles. Literally, I remember

639
00:26:20,281 --> 00:26:23,280
Speaker 4: the day no more bot a big boy, and from

640
00:26:23,321 --> 00:26:25,561
Speaker 4: then on he never had it. When sucking his thumb,

641
00:26:25,721 --> 00:26:27,761
Speaker 4: it was like literally overnight, he's never sucked as some

642
00:26:27,961 --> 00:26:30,801
Speaker 4: since when he was ready, Like toilet training took us

643
00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:31,561
Speaker 4: a couple of days.

644
00:26:31,360 --> 00:26:32,840
Speaker 1: Because he was ready. Yeah.

645
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:35,920
Speaker 4: So just because you see someone online getting babies out

646
00:26:35,961 --> 00:26:38,120
Speaker 4: of their cots at fifteen months into a big bed, like,

647
00:26:38,120 --> 00:26:40,200
Speaker 4: if that feels right for them, cool, But if your

648
00:26:40,241 --> 00:26:42,640
Speaker 4: kid stays in a cot till three, that's also cool.

649
00:26:43,041 --> 00:26:45,080
Speaker 1: Like stop comparing. It doesn't have to look or be

650
00:26:45,120 --> 00:26:45,761
Speaker 1: a certain way.

651
00:26:46,041 --> 00:26:48,041
Speaker 2: Yeah, And every single one of our kids has been

652
00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:50,241
Speaker 2: so different, Like I feel like Miller and Lincoln were

653
00:26:50,241 --> 00:26:53,281
Speaker 2: both specifically Miller took a long time to learn to swim, yeah,

654
00:26:53,321 --> 00:26:56,160
Speaker 2: without a vest confidently and now like she's an amazing swimmer.

655
00:26:56,201 --> 00:26:59,001
Speaker 2: And then Reagan she was like swimming like two like fish,

656
00:26:59,481 --> 00:27:02,321
Speaker 2: like a fish. And then toilet training, Miller was incredible,

657
00:27:02,360 --> 00:27:04,801
Speaker 2: she was like not even too and fully toilet trained.

658
00:27:05,360 --> 00:27:08,240
Speaker 2: And then Reagan like she has struggled, Like she's been

659
00:27:08,241 --> 00:27:09,960
Speaker 2: the one that's been a bit later. So it just

660
00:27:10,041 --> 00:27:13,281
Speaker 2: changes each time. But I feel like personally, for myself,

661
00:27:13,360 --> 00:27:15,720
Speaker 2: I definitely did go through times of comparison. I went

662
00:27:15,761 --> 00:27:18,080
Speaker 2: through times of especially other kids around me, I'm like,

663
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:21,080
Speaker 2: oh shit, like their kids sitting, mine's not sitting yet.

664
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:23,480
Speaker 2: I did have that self talk of being like, am

665
00:27:23,521 --> 00:27:25,481
Speaker 2: I not doing enough? Like it was more on myself,

666
00:27:25,561 --> 00:27:28,480
Speaker 2: not on the child. It's more, Yeah, it was more like,

667
00:27:28,921 --> 00:27:30,481
Speaker 2: am I not doing this enough? But I'm not doing

668
00:27:30,521 --> 00:27:32,200
Speaker 2: that enough? Like you know, is it because of this?

669
00:27:32,321 --> 00:27:34,000
Speaker 2: Is it because of that? So there was definitely a

670
00:27:34,001 --> 00:27:38,201
Speaker 2: lot of self blame. Yeah, And then after obviously having

671
00:27:38,241 --> 00:27:40,600
Speaker 2: a second kid, it's like no, because then this one's

672
00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:42,360
Speaker 2: done that after like before everyone else, and then that

673
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:44,281
Speaker 2: one's done this, so you start to know is very

674
00:27:44,321 --> 00:27:47,761
Speaker 2: individual for every single child. But definitely first time becoming

675
00:27:47,761 --> 00:27:50,521
Speaker 2: a mum, I did. I remember being like, oh shit,

676
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:53,321
Speaker 2: am I not doing this right? Am I not capable

677
00:27:53,360 --> 00:27:54,920
Speaker 2: of like giving her everything? And that's something like I

678
00:27:54,921 --> 00:27:56,840
Speaker 2: speak about a lot with her cleft. Even when I

679
00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:58,801
Speaker 2: foundut my pregnancy she was going to have one, I'm like,

680
00:27:59,120 --> 00:28:01,041
Speaker 2: can I be the mum to give her everything that

681
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:03,400
Speaker 2: she needs? And now like hell yeah, But at the

682
00:28:03,481 --> 00:28:05,640
Speaker 2: time the doubt. I remember the doubt. I was like

683
00:28:05,681 --> 00:28:06,401
Speaker 2: can I do that?

684
00:28:06,441 --> 00:28:07,721
Speaker 1: And it's so capable?

685
00:28:08,241 --> 00:28:10,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, you were such a young mum too, like

686
00:28:10,441 --> 00:28:13,281
Speaker 4: I probably was exposed to other mums maybe not putting

687
00:28:13,281 --> 00:28:14,401
Speaker 4: pressure on their kids as well.

688
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:16,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I had no friends that had kids or anything.

689
00:28:17,001 --> 00:28:17,080
Speaker 2: Ye.

690
00:28:17,321 --> 00:28:20,201
Speaker 4: Yeah, so it's very easy to get like influenced by

691
00:28:20,281 --> 00:28:22,840
Speaker 4: outside noise. Yeah, and can care and just not be

692
00:28:22,921 --> 00:28:25,761
Speaker 4: so sure of yourself, I suppose. Yeah, But that's just

693
00:28:25,801 --> 00:28:28,240
Speaker 4: something I wanted to bring up because even then they

694
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:30,321
Speaker 4: like nappies. If they are still in nappies at three

695
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,120
Speaker 4: or four or whatever, when they get to ten, no

696
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:35,801
Speaker 4: one cares what age your kid was in nappies. It's

697
00:28:35,801 --> 00:28:36,360
Speaker 4: like breastfeeding.

698
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:38,321
Speaker 1: You don't look at an adult and be like, oh

699
00:28:38,361 --> 00:28:40,520
Speaker 1: she was breastfed, Oh my god, it must have been

700
00:28:40,521 --> 00:28:43,681
Speaker 1: a bottlefeed, Like, you don't know. You don't care now.

701
00:28:43,721 --> 00:28:46,280
Speaker 1: It doesn't define your worth or how smart you are

702
00:28:46,361 --> 00:28:47,161
Speaker 1: or anything like that.

703
00:28:47,281 --> 00:28:47,561
Speaker 3: Yeah.

704
00:28:47,641 --> 00:28:49,240
Speaker 4: You just do the best that you can and know

705
00:28:49,281 --> 00:28:50,961
Speaker 4: that you're doing the best that you can. And every

706
00:28:51,001 --> 00:28:52,720
Speaker 4: kid's so different. It's so cool that you can always

707
00:28:52,721 --> 00:28:54,720
Speaker 4: talk about how different it has been because you've had

708
00:28:54,721 --> 00:28:55,161
Speaker 4: three kids.

709
00:28:55,161 --> 00:28:56,841
Speaker 3: It's so different every experience.

710
00:28:56,841 --> 00:28:58,761
Speaker 2: And I look at myself with Miller, and I hold

711
00:28:58,761 --> 00:29:00,201
Speaker 2: so much compassion for myself.

712
00:29:00,241 --> 00:29:03,000
Speaker 3: I feel like I was just felt like I just

713
00:29:03,201 --> 00:29:03,961
Speaker 3: wasn't capable.

714
00:29:04,001 --> 00:29:05,921
Speaker 2: And then I like, look with Reagan and I was

715
00:29:05,921 --> 00:29:07,561
Speaker 2: like I was so sure of myself.

716
00:29:07,161 --> 00:29:08,761
Speaker 4: So nice.

717
00:29:08,801 --> 00:29:10,601
Speaker 1: Yeah, that progression and growth.

718
00:29:10,801 --> 00:29:15,001
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you just learned that everyone half knows

719
00:29:15,041 --> 00:29:16,801
Speaker 2: what they're doing, but half doesn't. I think you think

720
00:29:16,841 --> 00:29:19,321
Speaker 2: everyone knows everything and they're like doing it perfectly, and

721
00:29:19,321 --> 00:29:21,761
Speaker 2: then you're like everyone's just kind of half guessing.

722
00:29:22,241 --> 00:29:24,041
Speaker 3: Try that doesn't like gate, let's just try this.

723
00:29:24,721 --> 00:29:27,760
Speaker 4: Or even as mums, we have strength and confidence in

724
00:29:27,801 --> 00:29:31,201
Speaker 4: different areas of motherhood. Yes, you know, something I'm really

725
00:29:31,281 --> 00:29:32,801
Speaker 4: really good at, you might feel a bit more like,

726
00:29:32,841 --> 00:29:35,601
Speaker 4: oh I'm not sure and other things. You know, even

727
00:29:35,641 --> 00:29:37,401
Speaker 4: sleep training, like I feel like me and you're pretty

728
00:29:37,401 --> 00:29:39,281
Speaker 4: confident that whereas I've had friends and it's just.

729
00:29:39,201 --> 00:29:41,161
Speaker 1: Like, oh, like I don't know what to do, Like

730
00:29:41,241 --> 00:29:41,601
Speaker 1: help me.

731
00:29:41,961 --> 00:29:44,760
Speaker 4: Everyone's got strengths And like say with Taj and I

732
00:29:44,841 --> 00:29:47,241
Speaker 4: was like everything pure everything mash like I was so

733
00:29:47,321 --> 00:29:49,921
Speaker 4: nervous and scared and now flip side, I'm like Tyler

734
00:29:49,961 --> 00:29:52,641
Speaker 4: has literally everything that we eat more confident.

735
00:29:53,441 --> 00:29:55,000
Speaker 3: So confidence grows.

736
00:29:55,161 --> 00:29:58,841
Speaker 4: Yeah, it really does. With experience, with knowledge, with confidence

737
00:29:58,881 --> 00:30:01,881
Speaker 4: within yourself, with trusting as well, just trusting and backing

738
00:30:01,881 --> 00:30:06,281
Speaker 4: yourself and trusting and backing your partner. Yeah, I remember, Oh,

739
00:30:06,361 --> 00:30:08,681
Speaker 4: I remember with Taj I was so snappy at Steve,

740
00:30:08,961 --> 00:30:11,081
Speaker 4: even though like obviously I didn't know what I was

741
00:30:11,081 --> 00:30:13,921
Speaker 4: doing either, but I felt like he could do no right,

742
00:30:14,481 --> 00:30:17,041
Speaker 4: like everything he did, like most men are definitely slower

743
00:30:17,081 --> 00:30:18,841
Speaker 4: at like changing nap, you're getting them dressed.

744
00:30:19,161 --> 00:30:20,801
Speaker 1: I would just get so frustrated.

745
00:30:20,841 --> 00:30:23,121
Speaker 4: And it's been so different with Tyler, hence why we've

746
00:30:23,121 --> 00:30:26,641
Speaker 4: had such a beautiful experience with her. But I remember

747
00:30:26,721 --> 00:30:28,601
Speaker 4: just being like, oh, I'll just do it and take over,

748
00:30:28,721 --> 00:30:30,201
Speaker 4: or like, oh, you're not cooking it right, we haven't

749
00:30:30,241 --> 00:30:32,801
Speaker 4: mashed it enough, and like literally boss and tell him

750
00:30:32,801 --> 00:30:35,321
Speaker 4: what to do. And I look back, I'm like, who

751
00:30:35,361 --> 00:30:36,801
Speaker 4: do you think you are?

752
00:30:37,561 --> 00:30:38,841
Speaker 1: Like that poor man?

753
00:30:39,081 --> 00:30:41,761
Speaker 4: And no wonder he kind of like lost confidence, yeah,

754
00:30:41,841 --> 00:30:43,921
Speaker 4: or even step back and didn't want to help as much,

755
00:30:43,961 --> 00:30:45,721
Speaker 4: because it's like when every time I can fucking try

756
00:30:45,761 --> 00:30:48,801
Speaker 4: and help, you're down my throat. So I now we're

757
00:30:48,921 --> 00:30:51,720
Speaker 4: looking back, I'm like, no wonder you pull back and

758
00:30:51,801 --> 00:30:53,401
Speaker 4: didn't be as hands on as what I would have

759
00:30:53,521 --> 00:30:55,121
Speaker 4: liked you to been, because every time you tried it

760
00:30:55,201 --> 00:30:57,200
Speaker 4: was down your throat. So it was so cool to

761
00:30:57,241 --> 00:30:59,481
Speaker 4: go through that experience. We've obviously talked a lot about

762
00:30:59,521 --> 00:31:01,801
Speaker 4: it coming into Tala. It was just like I just

763
00:31:01,881 --> 00:31:03,681
Speaker 4: let him do whatever he wants, so we talk about

764
00:31:03,681 --> 00:31:05,881
Speaker 4: what we feel is good. But I would never correct

765
00:31:05,961 --> 00:31:08,281
Speaker 4: him on how he dresses her or how long he

766
00:31:08,321 --> 00:31:10,441
Speaker 4: takes to do a nappy or anything like that. Like

767
00:31:10,761 --> 00:31:13,200
Speaker 4: he's the best he can. The kids are alive, they're happy,

768
00:31:13,281 --> 00:31:17,041
Speaker 4: they're smiling. Cool, you know, just take that pressure off

769
00:31:17,081 --> 00:31:19,401
Speaker 4: to do things a certain way or be perfect with everything.

770
00:31:19,641 --> 00:31:21,321
Speaker 1: Yeah, yucky.

771
00:31:22,001 --> 00:31:23,361
Speaker 3: We were actually quite lucky.

772
00:31:23,441 --> 00:31:26,401
Speaker 2: I feel like in the way now reflecting back with Miller,

773
00:31:26,441 --> 00:31:28,281
Speaker 2: we didn't have a choice. It was teamwork from day off.

774
00:31:28,761 --> 00:31:30,960
Speaker 2: So when I was pumping k was changing her nappy,

775
00:31:31,441 --> 00:31:34,121
Speaker 2: and then when I was pumping the other boob or

776
00:31:34,121 --> 00:31:35,801
Speaker 2: doing this, he was feeding on the bottle because we

777
00:31:35,881 --> 00:31:37,681
Speaker 2: had to do the expressing. So it was kind of

778
00:31:38,241 --> 00:31:40,440
Speaker 2: like nice in that way now, because I was always like,

779
00:31:40,481 --> 00:31:41,401
Speaker 2: oh I was so this or so that.

780
00:31:41,481 --> 00:31:42,201
Speaker 3: Now I'm like, oh no, I.

781
00:31:42,121 --> 00:31:43,641
Speaker 2: Can see this silver I can see why that was

782
00:31:44,441 --> 00:31:46,361
Speaker 2: naturally like from watching him so confident.

783
00:31:46,561 --> 00:31:47,841
Speaker 1: Yeah, and he's had this dad.

784
00:31:47,641 --> 00:31:49,361
Speaker 4: That showed him the way and like showed him how

785
00:31:49,401 --> 00:31:50,881
Speaker 4: to be amazing dad. So I think it was more

786
00:31:50,961 --> 00:31:53,321
Speaker 4: natural for Kurt to even just stand. It's for a

787
00:31:53,321 --> 00:31:55,761
Speaker 4: lot of dads, like they haven't been showing that he

788
00:31:55,921 --> 00:31:57,321
Speaker 4: had really hard upbringings.

789
00:31:57,321 --> 00:31:58,041
Speaker 1: I've had dads that.

790
00:31:57,961 --> 00:31:59,881
Speaker 4: Have told them to be quiet and like not express

791
00:31:59,961 --> 00:32:03,361
Speaker 4: emotions and you know, really put into a corner.

792
00:32:03,721 --> 00:32:05,601
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I've told ashes, but I've never said on

793
00:32:05,641 --> 00:32:08,561
Speaker 2: the podcast, but like growing up, Kurt's dad was just

794
00:32:08,601 --> 00:32:10,121
Speaker 2: so hands on, Like he literally got up in the

795
00:32:10,201 --> 00:32:10,641
Speaker 2: night and did.

796
00:32:10,561 --> 00:32:12,161
Speaker 3: All the feeds so Depp could sleep.

797
00:32:11,921 --> 00:32:13,841
Speaker 1: And you can literally see it. And now him as

798
00:32:13,841 --> 00:32:16,321
Speaker 1: the grandpa amazing, it's still just his hands off.

799
00:32:16,361 --> 00:32:16,921
Speaker 3: He's amazing.

800
00:32:16,961 --> 00:32:18,761
Speaker 1: He's so good. But yeah, that's yeah, you can see

801
00:32:18,761 --> 00:32:19,241
Speaker 1: where Kak.

802
00:32:19,121 --> 00:32:19,561
Speaker 3: Gets it from.

803
00:32:19,641 --> 00:32:20,401
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's incredible.

804
00:32:20,601 --> 00:32:22,121
Speaker 3: Yeah, so cool, good role model.

805
00:32:22,241 --> 00:32:25,081
Speaker 4: Yeah, Okay, something else that I saw in the forum

806
00:32:25,081 --> 00:32:27,200
Speaker 4: that I thought was really really interesting, and it was

807
00:32:27,321 --> 00:32:29,881
Speaker 4: just I can't remember the exact comment, but it was

808
00:32:29,921 --> 00:32:33,721
Speaker 4: basically a post about how tired and shit she feels.

809
00:32:33,801 --> 00:32:35,720
Speaker 4: But it was almost like worded in a way that

810
00:32:35,841 --> 00:32:38,641
Speaker 4: like that's just what moms have to feel. It was

811
00:32:38,761 --> 00:32:41,641
Speaker 4: like really normalized and I got a little bit like

812
00:32:41,721 --> 00:32:44,161
Speaker 4: upset by that because I was like, no, it does

813
00:32:44,201 --> 00:32:46,641
Speaker 4: not have to feel like that. But if she's making

814
00:32:46,681 --> 00:32:48,561
Speaker 4: that her truth, that's going to be her truth, that's

815
00:32:48,601 --> 00:32:49,961
Speaker 4: going to be her reality.

816
00:32:50,281 --> 00:32:51,760
Speaker 1: Like we get to create her own reality.

817
00:32:51,801 --> 00:32:53,961
Speaker 4: And yes, there's times where it's exhausting and it's really

818
00:32:54,001 --> 00:32:57,081
Speaker 4: hard and really overwhelming, but it should not be the

819
00:32:57,161 --> 00:33:00,200
Speaker 4: norm or expected for moms to just always feel like

820
00:33:00,201 --> 00:33:01,681
Speaker 4: shit for the rest of their lives now that they've

821
00:33:01,681 --> 00:33:02,281
Speaker 4: become a mom.

822
00:33:02,521 --> 00:33:03,961
Speaker 3: No way.

823
00:33:04,361 --> 00:33:07,401
Speaker 2: But I guess it's really situational, you know, like with Kurt,

824
00:33:07,441 --> 00:33:10,440
Speaker 2: like working six days a week, having Miller trying to

825
00:33:10,481 --> 00:33:13,601
Speaker 2: pump bottle feed clean and being at home with her,

826
00:33:13,681 --> 00:33:16,161
Speaker 2: Like fuck, that first year of her life was pretty

827
00:33:16,161 --> 00:33:18,480
Speaker 2: fucking exhausting for sure, And I couldn't see the light

828
00:33:18,521 --> 00:33:20,081
Speaker 2: at the end of the tunnel. So I can kind

829
00:33:20,081 --> 00:33:21,641
Speaker 2: of relate in a way and see, you know. But

830
00:33:21,881 --> 00:33:24,201
Speaker 2: then again, it's always in hindsight, like you work through

831
00:33:24,241 --> 00:33:25,401
Speaker 2: it and you're like, oh my gosh, Like they do

832
00:33:25,441 --> 00:33:27,241
Speaker 2: grow up, they do learn to do things for themselves,

833
00:33:27,241 --> 00:33:29,281
Speaker 2: they do learn to you know, And I'm.

834
00:33:29,201 --> 00:33:31,081
Speaker 4: Sure in that I feel like you're the type of

835
00:33:31,081 --> 00:33:33,161
Speaker 4: person even through that you would have still found joy

836
00:33:33,161 --> 00:33:35,241
Speaker 4: in your days and enjoy with your kids and enjoy

837
00:33:35,241 --> 00:33:38,161
Speaker 4: with your partner. But this comment was kind of normalizing

838
00:33:38,161 --> 00:33:40,601
Speaker 4: that we just always feel shit. No, And it's like,

839
00:33:40,761 --> 00:33:43,641
Speaker 4: even if you're exhausted and tied, there's still joyful moments,

840
00:33:43,841 --> 00:33:44,681
Speaker 4: you know, with your baby.

841
00:33:44,761 --> 00:33:47,761
Speaker 3: I think the secret is slowing down, yeah, yeah, being

842
00:33:47,801 --> 00:33:48,361
Speaker 3: more present.

843
00:33:48,641 --> 00:33:51,681
Speaker 4: I think it's mindset too. I think like you get

844
00:33:51,681 --> 00:33:53,881
Speaker 4: to decide how you view something.

845
00:33:54,121 --> 00:33:55,161
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like you.

846
00:33:55,081 --> 00:33:57,960
Speaker 4: Could view this as the shittest, hardest fucking day, like

847
00:33:58,361 --> 00:34:00,401
Speaker 4: and like really use that language and energy behind it.

848
00:34:00,481 --> 00:34:03,401
Speaker 4: Or you could be like, today is really tough, but

849
00:34:03,601 --> 00:34:05,481
Speaker 4: I'm gonna go on the sunshine and I'm gonna do this,

850
00:34:05,681 --> 00:34:07,521
Speaker 4: or like I know this is gonna last for ever

851
00:34:07,601 --> 00:34:09,401
Speaker 4: and I'm so grateful to have this baby in my arms.

852
00:34:09,441 --> 00:34:10,921
Speaker 1: I've dreamt of having a daylight this.

853
00:34:11,201 --> 00:34:13,081
Speaker 4: You know, so many other mums would die to be

854
00:34:13,121 --> 00:34:16,041
Speaker 4: in my position, and like the different energies behind that.

855
00:34:16,721 --> 00:34:18,721
Speaker 4: And it's not to say that you can't talk about

856
00:34:18,761 --> 00:34:19,440
Speaker 4: having a hard day.

857
00:34:19,441 --> 00:34:20,161
Speaker 1: We all do it.

858
00:34:20,961 --> 00:34:23,681
Speaker 4: But I just don't want mothers to think, even if

859
00:34:23,681 --> 00:34:25,401
Speaker 4: you're pregnant right now, for that to scare you if

860
00:34:25,441 --> 00:34:27,521
Speaker 4: someone reads them and goes, oh my gosh, what it's

861
00:34:27,521 --> 00:34:28,801
Speaker 4: going to feel shit for the rest of my life

862
00:34:28,801 --> 00:34:31,001
Speaker 4: because these mum's on here been like, Yeah, that's just

863
00:34:31,041 --> 00:34:31,601
Speaker 4: the way it is.

864
00:34:31,841 --> 00:34:33,281
Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be like that forever.

865
00:34:33,641 --> 00:34:35,361
Speaker 4: Yeah, you can have a hard day, but it's not

866
00:34:35,361 --> 00:34:37,161
Speaker 4: a hard life. You can have a rough patch, not

867
00:34:37,201 --> 00:34:39,961
Speaker 4: a rough life. There'll be ebbs and flows throughout it.

868
00:34:40,001 --> 00:34:42,841
Speaker 4: But if you can try to practice finding the silver

869
00:34:42,921 --> 00:34:45,881
Speaker 4: lining and finding those joyful moments, even if they're split

870
00:34:45,921 --> 00:34:48,361
Speaker 4: seconds where your baby like gazes at you, you know,

871
00:34:48,721 --> 00:34:51,001
Speaker 4: find those moments through it, it will make life a

872
00:34:51,041 --> 00:34:52,921
Speaker 4: lot more enjoyable. And that is a choice.

873
00:34:53,161 --> 00:34:55,401
Speaker 2: Yeah, and even seeing how you can change things up,

874
00:34:55,521 --> 00:34:57,721
Speaker 2: you know, are you needing extra rest? Are you trying

875
00:34:57,761 --> 00:34:59,561
Speaker 2: to rest where you can? Is there anyone that you

876
00:34:59,561 --> 00:35:01,241
Speaker 2: can lean on? Are you being too afraid to reach

877
00:35:01,281 --> 00:35:02,681
Speaker 2: out for help? Like if there's someone that you can

878
00:35:02,721 --> 00:35:04,321
Speaker 2: be like, hey, I feel like if you're at that

879
00:35:04,441 --> 00:35:06,681
Speaker 2: point and you feel like that, like, is there anything

880
00:35:06,681 --> 00:35:09,281
Speaker 2: that you can do rather than being like this is

881
00:35:09,401 --> 00:35:11,081
Speaker 2: accepting and like this is how it has to be.

882
00:35:11,401 --> 00:35:12,881
Speaker 3: What can I do to get out of this?

883
00:35:13,001 --> 00:35:15,041
Speaker 4: You know, definitely, and a lot of moms I think

884
00:35:15,121 --> 00:35:17,761
Speaker 4: really struggle to reach out help because guilt and also

885
00:35:17,881 --> 00:35:19,601
Speaker 4: like I don't want to leave my baby with anyone else,

886
00:35:19,641 --> 00:35:22,001
Speaker 4: and like there's lots to unpack behind all of that

887
00:35:22,081 --> 00:35:22,561
Speaker 4: as well.

888
00:35:22,801 --> 00:35:24,561
Speaker 2: But even if someone comes and clean your house, like

889
00:35:24,801 --> 00:35:26,561
Speaker 2: even if they're not watching the baby, like just to

890
00:35:27,321 --> 00:35:29,801
Speaker 2: help out it cooked dinner, dropped, dinner over like holy,

891
00:35:29,881 --> 00:35:33,041
Speaker 2: like those are things I just help life changing.

892
00:35:32,881 --> 00:35:35,081
Speaker 4: Yes, and leaning on your friends with other babies as well,

893
00:35:35,161 --> 00:35:37,841
Speaker 4: like doing things together, Like even if it's like going

894
00:35:37,841 --> 00:35:39,881
Speaker 4: around to your friends coming around and you're both cooking

895
00:35:40,041 --> 00:35:43,441
Speaker 4: dinner together together that night, maybe that experience that normally

896
00:35:43,441 --> 00:35:46,121
Speaker 4: feels hard and annoying, make it joyful. Pop music on together,

897
00:35:46,121 --> 00:35:47,881
Speaker 4: get in the kitchen together, like put the kids down

898
00:35:47,881 --> 00:35:50,361
Speaker 4: for a nap together, make it fun. Like there's different

899
00:35:50,361 --> 00:35:51,601
Speaker 4: ways that we can find joy.

900
00:35:51,721 --> 00:35:53,321
Speaker 2: Even getting out for a walk with a baby, Oh

901
00:35:53,361 --> 00:35:56,121
Speaker 2: my gosh, so good, like change it to get out

902
00:35:56,321 --> 00:35:57,401
Speaker 2: yeah the sunshine.

903
00:35:57,561 --> 00:35:58,281
Speaker 1: Yeah so yeah.

904
00:35:58,321 --> 00:36:00,241
Speaker 4: The person who wrote that, I hope you're listening, and

905
00:36:00,281 --> 00:36:03,041
Speaker 4: I hope any other mums who read that and got scared.

906
00:36:03,641 --> 00:36:06,001
Speaker 4: It doesn't have to be your reality. You can change

907
00:36:06,001 --> 00:36:08,721
Speaker 4: the narrative by changing the way you look at things

908
00:36:08,801 --> 00:36:09,441
Speaker 4: and see things.

909
00:36:09,601 --> 00:36:09,841
Speaker 3: Yeah.

910
00:36:09,921 --> 00:36:11,521
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm reading a book at the moment, the one

911
00:36:11,521 --> 00:36:13,241
Speaker 2: that I shared to you the other day, almost shared

912
00:36:13,241 --> 00:36:13,801
Speaker 2: my stories.

913
00:36:13,601 --> 00:36:15,561
Speaker 3: Other day and actually as happy one. Yeah, it's like

914
00:36:15,561 --> 00:36:16,601
Speaker 3: you can be happy no matter what.

915
00:36:16,961 --> 00:36:17,281
Speaker 4: To get that.

916
00:36:17,361 --> 00:36:19,561
Speaker 2: It's all about mindset, so exactly what you're saying. And

917
00:36:19,641 --> 00:36:22,241
Speaker 2: basically we are the thinker of every thought, and every

918
00:36:22,241 --> 00:36:25,481
Speaker 2: thought we think creates a feeling, but only we have

919
00:36:25,601 --> 00:36:29,601
Speaker 2: control over what we think. So it's been consciously aware

920
00:36:29,761 --> 00:36:32,641
Speaker 2: and rewiring your brain to be able to be happier

921
00:36:32,641 --> 00:36:34,041
Speaker 2: and in a happier state of mind.

922
00:36:34,241 --> 00:36:37,321
Speaker 4: So what you think becomes what you feel, and then

923
00:36:37,361 --> 00:36:40,481
Speaker 4: those feelings become an action. Yeah, in your physical body,

924
00:36:40,481 --> 00:36:44,121
Speaker 4: in your reality. It's like this triple connection. That's it

925
00:36:44,241 --> 00:36:47,121
Speaker 4: so cool. Yeah, oh, thanks so much for joining us. Guys,

926
00:36:47,201 --> 00:36:50,321
Speaker 4: really hope this was insightful and helpful. And we know

927
00:36:50,401 --> 00:36:54,321
Speaker 4: motherhood can be scary and daunting, especially first time around.

928
00:36:54,521 --> 00:36:55,521
Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely can.

929
00:36:55,681 --> 00:36:58,921
Speaker 4: Watching your body change and your life change and losing

930
00:36:58,961 --> 00:37:02,001
Speaker 4: your freedom and adapting to being fully responsible for this

931
00:37:02,001 --> 00:37:04,401
Speaker 4: little human and the different challenges you go through and

932
00:37:04,601 --> 00:37:07,960
Speaker 4: the different like dynamics in your relationship, it's a lot.

933
00:37:08,121 --> 00:37:08,721
Speaker 3: It is a lot.

934
00:37:09,001 --> 00:37:12,601
Speaker 1: Really is a lot. But you've got this. Believe in yourself.

935
00:37:12,721 --> 00:37:16,681
Speaker 4: Slow down, take some time to just like breathe, communicate well,

936
00:37:17,041 --> 00:37:20,401
Speaker 4: reach out for support, know that you're not alone, and

937
00:37:20,521 --> 00:37:21,201
Speaker 4: take care of you.

938
00:37:21,801 --> 00:37:22,321
Speaker 1: PS.

939
00:37:22,561 --> 00:37:27,881
Speaker 2: Can we not normalize confusing someone's free time with their availability?

940
00:37:28,001 --> 00:37:29,601
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I love that. I read that the

941
00:37:29,601 --> 00:37:33,481
Speaker 1: other day too, So good, so good. PS. The magic

942
00:37:33,721 --> 00:37:37,401
Speaker 1: you are looking for is in the work that you're avoiding. Yeah,

943
00:37:37,481 --> 00:37:38,161
Speaker 1: I love that one.

944
00:37:38,201 --> 00:37:39,041
Speaker 3: I'm that one too.

945
00:37:39,241 --> 00:37:39,641
Speaker 1: Yeah.

946
00:37:39,721 --> 00:37:42,960
Speaker 4: The spark, the outcome, the goal, whatever it is, it's

947
00:37:43,161 --> 00:37:44,961
Speaker 4: right in front of you, but you've got to do

948
00:37:45,001 --> 00:37:47,521
Speaker 4: the work to get there. Yeah, anything worthwhile, it never

949
00:37:47,561 --> 00:37:51,881
Speaker 4: comes easy. Yeah, thank you, Thanks, thanks for joining us.

950
00:37:52,081 --> 00:37:54,961
Speaker 1: Share it around. If you know another mum or pregnant

951
00:37:54,961 --> 00:37:56,281
Speaker 1: friend that you think we'll get a lot out of.

952
00:37:56,281 --> 00:37:58,881
Speaker 4: This episode, click that little follow button so you don't

953
00:37:58,881 --> 00:38:01,281
Speaker 4: miss any of our future episodes. We upload every Monday,

954
00:38:01,721 --> 00:38:04,641
Speaker 4: every Wednesday, and then we have a little Psycho bree

955
00:38:05,121 --> 00:38:09,001
Speaker 4: recap short version of a previous episode like Highlight almost

956
00:38:09,041 --> 00:38:11,321
Speaker 4: on a Friday. So when your ears three times a

957
00:38:11,361 --> 00:38:12,561
Speaker 4: week now, which is really really cool.

958
00:38:12,681 --> 00:38:14,081
Speaker 3: We'll see you guys next time.