WEBVTT - #1968 Two Crusty Old Coaches - Andrew May

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<v Speaker 1>A good team. I hope you're bloody terrific. Welcome to

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<v Speaker 1>another installing the You project. And when I say that

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<v Speaker 1>you project, I'm going to put a little asterisk next

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<v Speaker 1>to that and say kinder kinder. The reason I say

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<v Speaker 1>kinder is because the brilliant, handsome, devastatingly talented Andrew May

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<v Speaker 1>of the Performance Intelligence podcast he and I got together

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<v Speaker 1>last week. We did a chat. We had a chat.

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<v Speaker 1>Officially it was me on his show, but because I'm

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<v Speaker 1>wildly lazy, I went, fucking he fuck, what if we

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<v Speaker 1>do what us podcast is call a co share and

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<v Speaker 1>we will share that conversation here at camp typ So

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<v Speaker 1>that's what we're doing. So Andrew and I had Mazie,

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<v Speaker 1>as his friends call him, Mazie and I had a

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<v Speaker 1>good chat about the concept of well, we spoke about

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<v Speaker 1>success broadly, but we spoke about fame. We spoke about

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<v Speaker 1>people's desire for attention and to be famous and be

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<v Speaker 1>seen and be wanted and all of those things, and

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<v Speaker 1>the idea of becoming an overnight success, which really, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>there's so many moving past that, so many variables about that.

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<v Speaker 1>And I think the title of his show was something

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<v Speaker 1>like becoming an overnight success in twenty years or something

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<v Speaker 1>something like that. But anyway, we had a really good

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<v Speaker 1>chat and I thought I would share that chat with

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<v Speaker 1>you today. So hope you're good. Hope you're enjoying the

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<v Speaker 1>start of your week if you're listening to this on

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<v Speaker 1>the day that it is released, which is a Monday,

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<v Speaker 1>which is August eighteen, the first August eighteen, twenty twenty

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<v Speaker 1>five we've ever had. So if it is that day

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<v Speaker 1>for you, it might be the day you do something special.

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<v Speaker 1>You've had lots of Mondays, but you've never had this one,

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<v Speaker 1>as Craig Harp says, or whatever day it is, enjoy

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<v Speaker 1>I hope you get something out of it. And love

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<v Speaker 1>your collective guts is love jumbo.

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<v Speaker 2>In our modern landscape, we celebrate when somebody goes viral,

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<v Speaker 2>but what happens when you do and nothing changes?

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<v Speaker 1>Today?

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<v Speaker 2>I with Craig Harper, effectingly known as Harps, one of

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<v Speaker 2>Australia's leading performance coaches and host of the You Project podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>Harps is over forty years of experience working across elite sport, media,

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<v Speaker 2>health and professional development. Now, most overnight successes are the

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<v Speaker 2>final scene of a long unseen grind but the public

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<v Speaker 2>only sees the climax and not the climb. I've got

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<v Speaker 2>a question for you, Craig Harper in welcoming you back

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<v Speaker 2>to the podcast for multiple times, what are your thoughts

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<v Speaker 2>on an overnight success?

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<v Speaker 1>Hi, mate, good to be back. You sound very very

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<v Speaker 1>professional straight out of the gate. I better try to

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<v Speaker 1>live up to that. I can do.

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<v Speaker 2>Get a harps, mate, how you're going like, yeah, let's

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<v Speaker 2>talk about the weather.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, that's what you were like before you press the go.

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<v Speaker 1>But then all of a sudden, I've got summer radio.

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<v Speaker 2>He's put on podcast voice. He's not saying fuck who.

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<v Speaker 1>He's gone from moccasins and bloody army shorts to three

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<v Speaker 1>piece suit. Yeah. That's a good question. I mean, it

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<v Speaker 1>depends on how you define success. And you know, we

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<v Speaker 1>know people blow up for somebody who does a video,

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<v Speaker 1>they blow up, they go viral. I don't know why

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<v Speaker 1>this person comes to mind. I don't even know if

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<v Speaker 1>you remember this, but you know Huck Tour girl, you

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<v Speaker 1>know that girl that I do remember her? Yes? Ah,

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<v Speaker 1>you gotta give him that huck top on that NNE. Yeah. Right,

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<v Speaker 1>So we won't talk about the origin story of what

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<v Speaker 1>she was talking about but you know, she did a grab.

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<v Speaker 1>Somebody asked her a question and the answer to that

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<v Speaker 1>and that subsequent little kind of exchange was videoed when

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<v Speaker 1>nuts and so she Depending on what your KPIs are

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<v Speaker 1>for success, you will say she was an overnight success.

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<v Speaker 1>She went from from zero to hero in some ways,

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<v Speaker 1>and from making no dough to making lots of dough.

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<v Speaker 1>But I think there was maybe a subsequent, almost as

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<v Speaker 1>rapid decline. I'm not sure. So for me, success is

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<v Speaker 1>really how someone is over the long term, and it

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<v Speaker 1>may or may not have to do with anything commercial.

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<v Speaker 2>I've got another one for you. Do you remember Corey Worthington.

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<v Speaker 1>I was at that kind of party, kid or something

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<v Speaker 1>that not.

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<v Speaker 2>Twenty sixteen, Layla McKinnon on The Current Affair did an interview.

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<v Speaker 2>He had those yellow sunglasses. I can still remember Laylah saying,

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<v Speaker 2>take those sunglasses off. And he's saying, why why should.

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<v Speaker 1>I take a few glasses and apologize to us. I'll say, sorry,

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<v Speaker 1>but I'm not taking all my glasses. Why not because

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<v Speaker 1>they're famous?

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<v Speaker 2>Because your glasses are famous. So he was a household

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<v Speaker 2>name for a couple of weeks. His parents went away.

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<v Speaker 2>He had a party. He had his fifteen minutes of fame.

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<v Speaker 2>Here is massive. I've done a Google search. He's not

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<v Speaker 2>doing a hell of a lot. I mean that with respect,

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<v Speaker 2>but you know you look at that. That had millions,

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<v Speaker 2>hundreds of millions of clicks and downloads. So it was

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<v Speaker 2>just about going viral like that would set you up

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<v Speaker 2>for success. But it's not well in some cases maybe,

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<v Speaker 2>But I look at you. You did a post yesterday.

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<v Speaker 2>It was perfect timing for this mate. The post was

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<v Speaker 2>called don't waste your potential. You said forty years ago.

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<v Speaker 2>Forty years harps. Geez, you're looking fresh. Look at him,

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<v Speaker 2>wiz Yeah, no, look at me.

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<v Speaker 1>I was only six.

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<v Speaker 2>I started in grade so that's all right. Forty years

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<v Speaker 2>ago in brackets. In grade two I started a thing

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<v Speaker 2>called personal training. People said it wouldn't last, nobody would pay.

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<v Speaker 2>At best, it was a fat Four years later I

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<v Speaker 2>set up something called a personal training center. Than were

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<v Speaker 2>any in Australia. I was told I wasn't prepared for business.

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<v Speaker 2>I wasn't that I was naive. I was that I

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<v Speaker 2>would go broke. I didn't, it would fail, didn't have

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<v Speaker 2>a quarter of a century. I set up four centers

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<v Speaker 2>work with thousands of clients, employed hundreds of pets, trained

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<v Speaker 2>professional sporting teams, multiple Olympians, and found my way into

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<v Speaker 2>the worlds of media, academia, corporate high performance, and personal development.

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<v Speaker 2>I am grateful I did the work and grateful I

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<v Speaker 2>didn't listen to those who predicted my demise. We end

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<v Speaker 2>the podcast here, couldn't.

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<v Speaker 1>We forty years? Yeah? You coming out of a night success.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you, great mate, thank you, Thanks poor boys girls,

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<v Speaker 2>shortest podcast amazing harps have ever done.

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<v Speaker 1>I think well for me anyway. I can't speak on

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<v Speaker 1>behalf anyone else, but because I'm not like I reckon,

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<v Speaker 1>you'll argue this, but I would say that you are

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<v Speaker 1>more innately talented and probably intelligent than me. I'm not

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<v Speaker 1>saying I have no talent or no intellect, but because

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<v Speaker 1>I've always been like at school, I didn't have great genes.

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<v Speaker 1>I wasn't a great academic, I wasn't sporting. I was

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<v Speaker 1>morbidly obese, and you know, until I lost a whole

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<v Speaker 1>bunch of weight, I was in many ways. I was

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<v Speaker 1>very media okah, and if not aiming for mediocre, but

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<v Speaker 1>I was kind of fascinated with human behavior and initially

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<v Speaker 1>my own ability and my own potential and my own possibilities.

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<v Speaker 1>And I ended up losing a bunch of weight and

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<v Speaker 1>going from a terrible athlete to not a bad athlete,

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<v Speaker 1>not a great athlete, but not a bad athlete, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>playing reasonable footy and doing like things that I could

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<v Speaker 1>never have done, and building a body that was, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>a way better version of the previous version, and going

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<v Speaker 1>okay at a few things. And I kind of realized

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<v Speaker 1>that for me, my mediocrity was almost my motivation, because

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<v Speaker 1>I knew that if I was ever going to do

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<v Speaker 1>any good, it was only going to just be work

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<v Speaker 1>and focus and commitment and discipline and fucking courage and

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<v Speaker 1>self control because I was not you know, I went

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<v Speaker 1>to school with lots of gifted kids creatively gifted, musically, gifted, athletically,

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<v Speaker 1>gifted in intellectually, academically. I was in none of those groups.

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<v Speaker 1>So for me, that's always been ironically a source of inspiration.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm thinking of Angela Duckworth's theory of grit as you're

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<v Speaker 2>talking about that, and she talks about grit eickalls passion

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<v Speaker 2>plus hard work determination. So you find something you enjoy,

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<v Speaker 2>your passionate about and then do the bloody work. What

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<v Speaker 2>I've seen. The research shows this as well with a

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<v Speaker 2>lot of high performers. Initially, so the super talented kid,

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<v Speaker 2>the young boy or girl who's just been blessed with

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<v Speaker 2>God's gift or whatever denomination's gift, and they get by

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<v Speaker 2>without doing much work, and they get external feedback, Hey,

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<v Speaker 2>you're really good at tennis, at violin, English, at debating,

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<v Speaker 2>and you've done no work. So what does that reinforce?

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<v Speaker 2>I'm really good and I've done no work. Everyone's telling

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<v Speaker 2>me I'm really good, So I don't do work, and

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<v Speaker 2>then eventually some kids like Harps and I'm going to

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<v Speaker 2>come back. I argue, not that you were less talented.

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<v Speaker 2>It you're a renovator's dream and perhaps whatever the role

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<v Speaker 2>modeling environment, because.

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<v Speaker 1>You're just can you use that for the title Harps

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<v Speaker 1>in brackets the renovators.

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<v Speaker 2>Dream done, got it chaped. But that conditioning at a

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<v Speaker 2>young age, it's luck. You really do play the luck lottery,

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<v Speaker 2>and you often take the piss out of yourself. The

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<v Speaker 2>fat kid from the rabin who's done good, but you

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<v Speaker 2>had the call there. You just needed to get the

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<v Speaker 2>self worth, the self effictcausey exercise. So I wouldn't argue

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<v Speaker 2>that I'm any more or less talented. You just didn't

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<v Speaker 2>get off to a good start. And I find that

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<v Speaker 2>with a lot of people, as you do in the

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<v Speaker 2>parallel lives we have of coaching and podcasting and speaking

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<v Speaker 2>and writing and working with higher performers. Environment is massive

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<v Speaker 2>where you come from, but it doesn't have to shape

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<v Speaker 2>and dictate the rest of your life.

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<v Speaker 1>One hundred. That's a fucking great Sorry for all the

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<v Speaker 1>swearing Andrews listeners, I'm very sweary. One of the questions

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<v Speaker 1>that I'm sure you've been asked, I've been asked, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know many, more than hundreds of times, maybe thousands,

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<v Speaker 1>but is you know, what about when I lose motivation

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<v Speaker 1>or how do I stay motivated? Or how do I

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<v Speaker 1>get motivated? Or how do I And I said, it's

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<v Speaker 1>not it's not the right question. Like you're operating on

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<v Speaker 1>the assumption that motivation is the key to transformation, and

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<v Speaker 1>if that were the case, well, I definitely wouldn't have

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<v Speaker 1>done anything because I am just because I'm not motivated,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, And with motivated, I'm talking about when most

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<v Speaker 1>people talk about motivation, they talk about the state they're

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<v Speaker 1>in excitement, enthusiasm, how they're feeling. Right. I listen to

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<v Speaker 1>Anna and Craig talk and I was so motivated. Right

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<v Speaker 1>what happened? They had a state change, now motivated, So

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<v Speaker 1>I went for a run, got up next morning, was

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<v Speaker 1>a motivated, didn't go for a run. So there's this

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<v Speaker 1>correlation between you know, or assumed correlation, if not causation

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<v Speaker 1>between I am motivated, therefore you know that means I'm

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<v Speaker 1>going to produce good outcomes and when I'm not motivated,

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<v Speaker 1>I won't and I reckon. The key question with all

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<v Speaker 1>this kind of messiness around this is two key things. One,

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<v Speaker 1>how productive and proactive and effective can you be when

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<v Speaker 1>you can't be fucked that very human state of oh,

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<v Speaker 1>can't be fucked cool? Now's the time. Now's the time

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<v Speaker 1>right now, when you don't want it, when you don't

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<v Speaker 1>feel like it, when your foots a little bit sore,

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<v Speaker 1>when you're a bit tired, when you could absolutely rationalize it.

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<v Speaker 1>This might I'm not saying it always is. There's a

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<v Speaker 1>time to chill out too, but sometimes that's the time

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<v Speaker 1>literally to go do the thing that you need to

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<v Speaker 1>do but you don't want to do. The second question

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<v Speaker 1>is around your capacity to do stuff. And this is

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<v Speaker 1>almost the inverse of fifteen Minutes of Fame Corey Worthington,

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<v Speaker 1>et l. But is your capacity to be able to

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<v Speaker 1>do the things necessary when no one's looked, no one's cheering,

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<v Speaker 1>no one's clapping you on, no one's affirming you, no

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<v Speaker 1>one's telling you're a great bloke or slapping your back.

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<v Speaker 1>In fact, no one gives a shit. Show me what

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<v Speaker 1>you can do, then, because I think that's over the

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<v Speaker 1>long term. If we're talking about success being not a

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<v Speaker 1>flash in the pan thing, but rather a reflection of

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<v Speaker 1>how we live and our life and lifestyle and relationships

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<v Speaker 1>and internal and external reality, then I think we're looking

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<v Speaker 1>at a long term thing. I think it's your capacity

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<v Speaker 1>just to keep doing the things that work, whether or

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<v Speaker 1>not it's fun or not.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm nodding profusely. People watching this on YouTube will see

0:12:39.559 --> 0:12:41.560
<v Speaker 2>and ladies and gents, I love wining the big fella

0:12:41.720 --> 0:12:44.719
<v Speaker 2>up because we can riff and rant and you make

0:12:44.760 --> 0:12:47.920
<v Speaker 2>me think of frameworks and maybe some dormant models that

0:12:47.960 --> 0:12:51.160
<v Speaker 2>have been sitting there. As you said that totally aligned.

0:12:51.240 --> 0:12:55.280
<v Speaker 2>Harp's totally aligned. I look at motivation is more external

0:12:56.360 --> 0:12:57.720
<v Speaker 2>extrinsic exogynist.

0:12:57.720 --> 0:12:58.199
<v Speaker 1>So it's all that.

0:12:58.360 --> 0:13:00.960
<v Speaker 2>So sometimes people say, oh, I need you harps, I'll

0:13:00.960 --> 0:13:03.240
<v Speaker 2>listen to the you project, I'll go to your personal

0:13:03.240 --> 0:13:06.120
<v Speaker 2>training studio because you can motivate me. So it's requiring

0:13:06.160 --> 0:13:09.079
<v Speaker 2>someone else to do it for you. Now, motivation can

0:13:09.120 --> 0:13:11.040
<v Speaker 2>get your started. It's like a jumpstart of the car.

0:13:11.120 --> 0:13:12.520
<v Speaker 2>But then you've got to fix the engine so you

0:13:12.559 --> 0:13:14.679
<v Speaker 2>can start it yourself. I'm going to get a bit

0:13:14.880 --> 0:13:17.679
<v Speaker 2>playful on words, but the origin of the word inspiration

0:13:17.880 --> 0:13:22.000
<v Speaker 2>the Latin word inspirare, which means to breathe life into.

0:13:22.840 --> 0:13:26.400
<v Speaker 2>So I'm much more aligned to find what inspires you,

0:13:26.880 --> 0:13:29.959
<v Speaker 2>what's internalized, and then if you can link that back

0:13:30.000 --> 0:13:34.560
<v Speaker 2>to purpose, that's rocket feel. So I'm not discounting sometimes

0:13:34.600 --> 0:13:36.800
<v Speaker 2>you do need a friendly kick in the proverbials to

0:13:36.840 --> 0:13:37.439
<v Speaker 2>get you going.

0:13:38.400 --> 0:13:41.840
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I love it. I love it. My simple similar

0:13:41.880 --> 0:13:44.560
<v Speaker 1>analogy is or metaphor is you know, it's a spark

0:13:44.600 --> 0:13:47.640
<v Speaker 1>that lights the fire, but you're the actual feel that

0:13:47.720 --> 0:13:51.800
<v Speaker 1>keeps the fire burning. Right, So I think, firstly, I'm

0:13:51.840 --> 0:13:54.480
<v Speaker 1>not anti motivation. I love motivation, you know, I think

0:13:54.520 --> 0:13:56.760
<v Speaker 1>for many of us it's you know, it's the starting

0:13:56.800 --> 0:13:59.760
<v Speaker 1>point and it's the thing that creates momentum, which is beautiful,

0:14:00.280 --> 0:14:03.359
<v Speaker 1>but I think we don't want to be dependent on it,

0:14:03.559 --> 0:14:06.520
<v Speaker 1>just like we don't want to be dependent on praise

0:14:07.360 --> 0:14:13.360
<v Speaker 1>or reinforcement or accolades or attention. Like I think it's

0:14:13.400 --> 0:14:17.280
<v Speaker 1>almost like the currency in twenty twenty five is attention.

0:14:17.920 --> 0:14:20.440
<v Speaker 1>That's what everybody wants. They want attention, you know, on

0:14:20.480 --> 0:14:23.520
<v Speaker 1>social media, on Instagram, on Facebook, on whatever, on TikTok.

0:14:23.760 --> 0:14:26.280
<v Speaker 1>It's like, give me attention, give me attention, give me attention,

0:14:26.840 --> 0:14:30.320
<v Speaker 1>because then I can leverage that attention to something else

0:14:30.360 --> 0:14:33.040
<v Speaker 1>that I want. You know. And while I understand that,

0:14:34.360 --> 0:14:37.600
<v Speaker 1>I think some of the greatest growth and resilience and

0:14:37.720 --> 0:14:45.640
<v Speaker 1>transformation and breakdowns and breakthroughs happen in the darkness. I'm

0:14:45.680 --> 0:14:46.600
<v Speaker 1>just holding the pause.

0:14:46.640 --> 0:14:48.440
<v Speaker 2>If I could cut out the studio lights and it

0:14:48.440 --> 0:14:50.280
<v Speaker 2>would have been a dramatic effect, wouldn't it for our

0:14:50.360 --> 0:14:54.560
<v Speaker 2>visual watches. Yeah, And this is the mistake a lot

0:14:54.600 --> 0:14:57.520
<v Speaker 2>of people make, especially I think the younger generation now.

0:14:57.560 --> 0:15:01.440
<v Speaker 2>And I'm not beating up on Jen hy gen Z millennials,

0:15:01.800 --> 0:15:04.960
<v Speaker 2>all the young troops coming through, but it is different

0:15:04.960 --> 0:15:07.400
<v Speaker 2>to when you and I grew up, because there was

0:15:07.480 --> 0:15:11.160
<v Speaker 2>no Internet to rocket you to fame. But then ask

0:15:11.200 --> 0:15:13.640
<v Speaker 2>that question. So you get all the downloads, but is

0:15:13.640 --> 0:15:17.240
<v Speaker 2>it actually making a difference for you? Now, Yes, some

0:15:17.400 --> 0:15:20.800
<v Speaker 2>people can accelerate a business that can say, grow a book,

0:15:21.120 --> 0:15:24.600
<v Speaker 2>grow a podcast quickly. But any athlete I sit down

0:15:24.640 --> 0:15:27.000
<v Speaker 2>with Harps, any coach, I sit down with any entrepreneur,

0:15:27.040 --> 0:15:29.640
<v Speaker 2>any high performer, any leader of defense who really wants

0:15:29.680 --> 0:15:33.600
<v Speaker 2>to go to the next level. I'm talking about world class.

0:15:33.680 --> 0:15:37.320
<v Speaker 2>It's a decade unless you're a ridiculous rock star and

0:15:37.360 --> 0:15:39.600
<v Speaker 2>you find you're in a current that just propels you

0:15:39.760 --> 0:15:43.320
<v Speaker 2>like nothing else, and then you see whether people are

0:15:43.320 --> 0:15:45.880
<v Speaker 2>really cut out for it. What you mean a decade?

0:15:45.920 --> 0:15:47.640
<v Speaker 2>I thought if I did some coaching with you and

0:15:47.680 --> 0:15:49.840
<v Speaker 2>did a bit of a mental ioways upgrade, I could

0:15:49.880 --> 0:15:52.560
<v Speaker 2>do this shit in twelve months. No, you like, you're good,

0:15:53.120 --> 0:15:55.760
<v Speaker 2>but to be great, or to be world class, it

0:15:55.800 --> 0:15:57.560
<v Speaker 2>takes you a long time. And I've got an example

0:15:57.600 --> 0:15:59.560
<v Speaker 2>for you, mate, because I know how in tune you

0:15:59.680 --> 0:16:03.640
<v Speaker 2>are with popular culture. So you listen to Sabrina Carpenter,

0:16:06.280 --> 0:16:07.320
<v Speaker 2>don't throw me under.

0:16:07.120 --> 0:16:09.280
<v Speaker 1>The bus like that after you pump up my ties.

0:16:09.840 --> 0:16:12.800
<v Speaker 1>I do not, so clearly I'm not up on pop culture.

0:16:13.080 --> 0:16:16.600
<v Speaker 2>You know her most popular song from twenty twenty four, Espresso, Right,

0:16:16.640 --> 0:16:18.040
<v Speaker 2>she's had millions of downloads.

0:16:18.400 --> 0:16:20.120
<v Speaker 1>Ah ah, yeah.

0:16:20.440 --> 0:16:23.400
<v Speaker 2>That's all I listened to. So when you do the

0:16:23.400 --> 0:16:26.560
<v Speaker 2>research for that. Before Espresso came out, she had five albums.

0:16:26.600 --> 0:16:29.920
<v Speaker 2>A couple of first ones were virtual, non existent. She

0:16:30.080 --> 0:16:33.560
<v Speaker 2>signed an agreement with Disney. She was in the TV

0:16:33.680 --> 0:16:36.360
<v Speaker 2>show Girl Meets World back in two thousand and fourteen,

0:16:37.000 --> 0:16:39.800
<v Speaker 2>and she was doing acting and singing before that. So

0:16:39.840 --> 0:16:43.240
<v Speaker 2>she's been fifteen plus years and then suddenly she rockets.

0:16:43.600 --> 0:16:45.000
<v Speaker 2>I only know of it because I've got a seventy

0:16:45.080 --> 0:16:47.320
<v Speaker 2>year old daughter. I mean, her and her friends were

0:16:47.360 --> 0:16:50.080
<v Speaker 2>talking about Sabrina Carpenter. I thought i'd google it and

0:16:50.120 --> 0:16:51.760
<v Speaker 2>I did, and they were talking. I said, oh, I

0:16:51.760 --> 0:16:54.080
<v Speaker 2>love espress it. But what I really like is how

0:16:54.080 --> 0:16:56.880
<v Speaker 2>she's grown from her Disney person a Girl Meets World.

0:16:57.240 --> 0:16:59.280
<v Speaker 2>And one of Mikla's friends looked at me and she

0:16:59.480 --> 0:17:01.680
<v Speaker 2>just looked looked at me, really impressed, and she said

0:17:01.680 --> 0:17:04.080
<v Speaker 2>to Micala, I wish my dad was that girl.

0:17:07.440 --> 0:17:11.320
<v Speaker 1>Michale said, no, you don't, No, you don't. Yeah, I

0:17:11.359 --> 0:17:14.520
<v Speaker 1>love that. I have a really, I think nice story

0:17:14.520 --> 0:17:17.480
<v Speaker 1>around that. So I had a guy called Jim Murphy

0:17:17.600 --> 0:17:20.879
<v Speaker 1>on my show. He's not this similar to you, Like,

0:17:20.920 --> 0:17:25.000
<v Speaker 1>he's a high performance guy, got masters, works with teams

0:17:25.000 --> 0:17:28.280
<v Speaker 1>and athletes. He's from the States. He wrote a book.

0:17:28.320 --> 0:17:31.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to say, I think it's called In Her

0:17:31.600 --> 0:17:36.360
<v Speaker 1>Excellence The blah blah, but something like that in two

0:17:36.400 --> 0:17:40.760
<v Speaker 1>thousand and nine. I think that's the Anyway, his story is.

0:17:41.640 --> 0:17:43.199
<v Speaker 1>His story is that you've got to get him on,

0:17:43.480 --> 0:17:47.800
<v Speaker 1>Like get him on, you will love him. I mean so,

0:17:48.040 --> 0:17:50.760
<v Speaker 1>But here's his story. So he wrote this book sixteen

0:17:50.840 --> 0:17:55.400
<v Speaker 1>years ago and it did okay, but no one knows

0:17:55.400 --> 0:17:58.000
<v Speaker 1>who he is. Right, And he was a budding, fledgling

0:17:59.480 --> 0:18:04.880
<v Speaker 1>baseball player, got signed to a major baseball league club,

0:18:05.280 --> 0:18:08.360
<v Speaker 1>didn't had a few issues, didn't really go anywhere, ended

0:18:08.440 --> 0:18:10.520
<v Speaker 1>up going back to school, did all this stuff, and

0:18:10.560 --> 0:18:16.080
<v Speaker 1>so it was doing okay but not great. So he

0:18:16.119 --> 0:18:18.040
<v Speaker 1>wrote this book and the book is good, but no

0:18:18.040 --> 0:18:19.960
<v Speaker 1>one knows who is. He doesn't have a brand, he

0:18:19.960 --> 0:18:22.560
<v Speaker 1>doesn't have a profile. I don't know how many books

0:18:22.560 --> 0:18:25.679
<v Speaker 1>he sells. But you know it's not a it's not

0:18:25.800 --> 0:18:32.040
<v Speaker 1>a breakthrough, groundbreaking, world changing book. Anyway. Sixteen years later,

0:18:32.359 --> 0:18:36.840
<v Speaker 1>earlier this year, I'm trying to remember. I keep learning,

0:18:36.880 --> 0:18:39.160
<v Speaker 1>you know when you learn like five new things a day.

0:18:39.200 --> 0:18:43.960
<v Speaker 1>And anyway, there was an NFL player during a game.

0:18:44.280 --> 0:18:46.200
<v Speaker 1>He's one of the best players in the NFL. I

0:18:46.200 --> 0:18:49.640
<v Speaker 1>think he's a running back. Anyway, during the game, this

0:18:49.720 --> 0:18:52.560
<v Speaker 1>is this year, sixteen years later after Jim wrote the book.

0:18:53.000 --> 0:18:56.040
<v Speaker 1>He's sitting on the sidelines. You know how the offensive

0:18:56.080 --> 0:18:58.480
<v Speaker 1>team goes on, then they come off, and then the

0:18:58.520 --> 0:19:01.600
<v Speaker 1>defense goes on. So every time he would be back

0:19:01.640 --> 0:19:04.440
<v Speaker 1>on the sidelines, he would be reading this book, this

0:19:04.560 --> 0:19:08.040
<v Speaker 1>sixteen year old book that this dude wrote. And all

0:19:08.080 --> 0:19:10.320
<v Speaker 1>of a sudden, the commentator is like, I've never ever

0:19:10.359 --> 0:19:13.920
<v Speaker 1>seen an NFL player reading a book during the game.

0:19:14.560 --> 0:19:17.399
<v Speaker 1>And they zoomed in and there's bits highlighted and he's

0:19:17.800 --> 0:19:21.520
<v Speaker 1>it's like these are his anyways, So this dude almost

0:19:21.600 --> 0:19:25.680
<v Speaker 1>overnight becomes the biggest selling author on the planet.

0:19:25.920 --> 0:19:28.440
<v Speaker 2>What a great story, A lote moment.

0:19:28.560 --> 0:19:31.959
<v Speaker 1>So sixteen years old, the book is all of a sudden,

0:19:32.000 --> 0:19:35.200
<v Speaker 1>He's on every major network. He's doing interviews, he's doing

0:19:35.240 --> 0:19:38.359
<v Speaker 1>speaking gigs all around the world. He's talking a little

0:19:38.480 --> 0:19:42.320
<v Speaker 1>Fatty Harps in Australia, like he's gone from and it

0:19:42.400 --> 0:19:46.520
<v Speaker 1>took sixteen years, and it was because one moment in time,

0:19:47.080 --> 0:19:49.320
<v Speaker 1>like there was a guy reading that book, like he

0:19:49.680 --> 0:19:52.320
<v Speaker 1>does work with good athletes, so he's you know, I'd

0:19:52.359 --> 0:19:54.560
<v Speaker 1>say he's probably at the level you and Irad or

0:19:54.720 --> 0:19:57.600
<v Speaker 1>you know, but it's not like his Oprah or maybe

0:19:57.600 --> 0:19:59.960
<v Speaker 1>maybe he's not quite or wasn't quite at the level.

0:20:00.000 --> 0:20:03.200
<v Speaker 1>I'm not sure. It doesn't matter, but yeah, and what's

0:20:03.280 --> 0:20:07.040
<v Speaker 1>beautiful is he's a great guy. He is a great guy,

0:20:07.080 --> 0:20:10.679
<v Speaker 1>and he is so grounded and he is so not

0:20:10.880 --> 0:20:15.439
<v Speaker 1>a fathead. He is so humble, so self aware, and

0:20:15.520 --> 0:20:18.480
<v Speaker 1>I loved him. I'm like, I'm so glad you are

0:20:18.520 --> 0:20:21.000
<v Speaker 1>the way that you are because when I read your story,

0:20:21.040 --> 0:20:24.840
<v Speaker 1>when I looked at some of the TV footage and

0:20:24.880 --> 0:20:27.560
<v Speaker 1>you think, I hope this good is this guy's as

0:20:27.600 --> 0:20:31.000
<v Speaker 1>good as he seems, and he was even better and yeah,

0:20:31.200 --> 0:20:34.480
<v Speaker 1>just a gentleman and like he is going to ride

0:20:34.480 --> 0:20:37.280
<v Speaker 1>that wave now. But like I've never met him in person,

0:20:37.359 --> 0:20:39.040
<v Speaker 1>but great story.

0:20:39.080 --> 0:20:42.440
<v Speaker 2>Right place, right message, right time, right Blake, grounded and

0:20:42.480 --> 0:20:44.720
<v Speaker 2>he'll just accelerate. Oh definitely, I'll get his details because

0:20:44.760 --> 0:20:48.720
<v Speaker 2>that sounds a phenomenal story and good story. Totally backs up.

0:20:48.960 --> 0:20:52.520
<v Speaker 2>This doesn't it that. Yes, you may become viral, which

0:20:52.560 --> 0:20:54.760
<v Speaker 2>is a new term, but viral does not equal long

0:20:54.880 --> 0:20:59.000
<v Speaker 2>term success or sustained performance. Got to ask you, do

0:20:59.119 --> 0:21:02.480
<v Speaker 2>you have a definition of success? All right, then I've

0:21:02.480 --> 0:21:04.680
<v Speaker 2>got a question for you. You know what I love

0:21:04.720 --> 0:21:06.960
<v Speaker 2>when we do podcast and even you sent this through

0:21:07.000 --> 0:21:08.440
<v Speaker 2>to me? Who's interviewing who?

0:21:08.520 --> 0:21:10.399
<v Speaker 1>Mate? I said, I don't really know.

0:21:10.920 --> 0:21:15.679
<v Speaker 2>I do you want to do a podcast?

0:21:15.760 --> 0:21:20.080
<v Speaker 1>I go, yeah, sure when? And you're like tomorrow? I'm like, okay,

0:21:20.160 --> 0:21:24.640
<v Speaker 1>who's interviewing who? Like? I don't care? Well? It mixes, right,

0:21:24.760 --> 0:21:29.000
<v Speaker 1>it mixes. Look, success for me is not a thing,

0:21:29.040 --> 0:21:32.760
<v Speaker 1>but it's it's a few things. And I think, like,

0:21:32.880 --> 0:21:39.560
<v Speaker 1>this is a really interesting conversation because and this is

0:21:39.640 --> 0:21:42.560
<v Speaker 1>true for many things, like success for me will not

0:21:42.640 --> 0:21:45.880
<v Speaker 1>be success for someone else. I might say, Andrew, when

0:21:45.880 --> 0:21:47.919
<v Speaker 1>it comes to personal health, what is success for you?

0:21:48.000 --> 0:21:49.720
<v Speaker 1>And you go ABC? And I go, all right, tell

0:21:49.720 --> 0:21:52.440
<v Speaker 1>me what success is now from a career point of view,

0:21:52.440 --> 0:21:53.960
<v Speaker 1>and that's something else? And I go, now, tell me

0:21:54.000 --> 0:21:56.919
<v Speaker 1>about your relationships? What how did you How do you

0:21:57.000 --> 0:22:00.639
<v Speaker 1>know if that is a successful party or exist or

0:22:00.680 --> 0:22:02.600
<v Speaker 1>it's where you would like it to be, And so

0:22:02.680 --> 0:22:05.560
<v Speaker 1>I think success is not for me. It's not a

0:22:05.560 --> 0:22:08.760
<v Speaker 1>global thing. It's a bunch of things, because my life

0:22:08.840 --> 0:22:12.080
<v Speaker 1>is not a single thing. It's a composite of things.

0:22:12.720 --> 0:22:18.120
<v Speaker 1>And also I think for the individual, what we deem

0:22:18.320 --> 0:22:21.720
<v Speaker 1>to be success or our version or our I guess

0:22:21.760 --> 0:22:25.639
<v Speaker 1>description of success will vary over time. So if you

0:22:25.760 --> 0:22:29.199
<v Speaker 1>had have said to me, you know, Harps, what are

0:22:29.200 --> 0:22:31.719
<v Speaker 1>you When I was thirty and I owned three gyms,

0:22:31.760 --> 0:22:33.560
<v Speaker 1>and I had one hundred staff, and I owned two

0:22:33.600 --> 0:22:36.639
<v Speaker 1>other businesses, and all this stuff was going on, and

0:22:36.680 --> 0:22:38.600
<v Speaker 1>I was in the gym and I was like the

0:22:38.680 --> 0:22:40.879
<v Speaker 1>captain of the ship, and it was high energy and

0:22:40.920 --> 0:22:44.000
<v Speaker 1>it was all bloody, you know, dumbbells and giggles and

0:22:45.520 --> 0:22:48.600
<v Speaker 1>photos of the old Harps. You're well, I was jacked

0:22:48.640 --> 0:22:51.760
<v Speaker 1>and full of ego and bullshit, and you know, for

0:22:51.800 --> 0:22:53.919
<v Speaker 1>a while there, I mean, it was just amazing. It

0:22:53.960 --> 0:22:56.960
<v Speaker 1>was beautiful, there was great energy. But then there came

0:22:57.000 --> 0:23:00.240
<v Speaker 1>a time when I'm like, yeah, no, that's enough. Yeah

0:23:00.240 --> 0:23:02.840
<v Speaker 1>it doesn't. This ain't what I want to do anymore.

0:23:02.880 --> 0:23:05.640
<v Speaker 1>It's not that it's bad, it's not that we're doing

0:23:05.680 --> 0:23:08.760
<v Speaker 1>anything wrong. I've just this doesn't meet the need in

0:23:08.760 --> 0:23:10.680
<v Speaker 1>me that it once did. I still want to work

0:23:10.720 --> 0:23:13.320
<v Speaker 1>with people and help people and be of service and value.

0:23:14.440 --> 0:23:17.399
<v Speaker 1>But me, you know, setting the bike seat for dinner,

0:23:17.480 --> 0:23:20.199
<v Speaker 1>and you know, counting reps for Barry, and you know,

0:23:20.840 --> 0:23:23.280
<v Speaker 1>fucking spotting John on the squat bar. It's not my

0:23:23.359 --> 0:23:23.960
<v Speaker 1>thing anymore.

0:23:24.080 --> 0:23:27.399
<v Speaker 2>You know, we have a lot of fitness traders and

0:23:27.440 --> 0:23:28.080
<v Speaker 2>personal traders.

0:23:28.160 --> 0:23:28.560
<v Speaker 1>Listen to this.

0:23:28.640 --> 0:23:31.399
<v Speaker 2>There's a little bit more than that. So I interrupted you.

0:23:31.680 --> 0:23:37.359
<v Speaker 2>So definition of success has changed for you?

0:23:37.720 --> 0:23:40.360
<v Speaker 1>It's ev Yeah, I think it's fluid. It's fluid. It's

0:23:40.440 --> 0:23:43.840
<v Speaker 1>like for somebody like I realized when I was in

0:23:43.880 --> 0:23:45.360
<v Speaker 1>my twenties that I don't want to be I don't

0:23:45.400 --> 0:23:47.159
<v Speaker 1>want a job. I don't want to work for someone.

0:23:47.240 --> 0:23:49.240
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to clock in at that time clock

0:23:49.280 --> 0:23:53.280
<v Speaker 1>out at that time. Not because that is bad, but

0:23:53.440 --> 0:23:56.040
<v Speaker 1>because it didn't work for me. I didn't find a

0:23:56.040 --> 0:23:58.199
<v Speaker 1>lot of joy in that or fulfillment in that, and

0:23:58.240 --> 0:24:00.320
<v Speaker 1>I couldn't grow in that. And I wanted to do

0:24:00.440 --> 0:24:04.240
<v Speaker 1>something where and I'm sure there were some employee employer

0:24:04.440 --> 0:24:08.040
<v Speaker 1>situations where I really could have grown, but not that

0:24:08.160 --> 0:24:12.480
<v Speaker 1>I had experienced personally. And so you know, for me

0:24:12.720 --> 0:24:16.359
<v Speaker 1>that success is about, you know, getting better in a way.

0:24:16.440 --> 0:24:19.919
<v Speaker 1>It's about learning and growing and evolving, and you know,

0:24:20.000 --> 0:24:23.400
<v Speaker 1>waking up at sixty one and going, hey, I'm not shit,

0:24:23.760 --> 0:24:27.520
<v Speaker 1>I'm not falling apart. My brain works. I mean, I

0:24:27.560 --> 0:24:30.000
<v Speaker 1>can't be objective, but as objective as I can be.

0:24:30.119 --> 0:24:31.919
<v Speaker 1>I think my brain is better than it was when

0:24:31.960 --> 0:24:35.040
<v Speaker 1>I was forty or thirty. I think I'm you know,

0:24:35.080 --> 0:24:40.040
<v Speaker 1>there's obviously deterioration, which is inevitable physiological deterioration. But I'm

0:24:40.040 --> 0:24:42.439
<v Speaker 1>still pretty fit and pretty strong and pretty healthy. You know,

0:24:42.480 --> 0:24:45.639
<v Speaker 1>I'm very grateful for all of that. So just trying

0:24:45.640 --> 0:24:48.080
<v Speaker 1>to work well, you know, can I double click on

0:24:48.119 --> 0:24:51.439
<v Speaker 1>that and that I want to talk about success? And

0:24:51.480 --> 0:24:55.400
<v Speaker 1>then you said you've got a question. I actually think

0:24:55.440 --> 0:25:00.119
<v Speaker 1>that the way that we think about age is really unhealthy,

0:25:00.680 --> 0:25:04.720
<v Speaker 1>really unhealthy. I believe that we you know, your mind

0:25:04.760 --> 0:25:07.119
<v Speaker 1>has a massive impact on your physiology. You know, if

0:25:07.160 --> 0:25:09.760
<v Speaker 1>you think something bad's gonna happen but it's not gonna happen,

0:25:09.840 --> 0:25:12.520
<v Speaker 1>you think you're in danger, then all of a sudden,

0:25:12.560 --> 0:25:16.040
<v Speaker 1>your bodi's change, sympathetic nervous system ENDO, crime's system, all

0:25:16.040 --> 0:25:19.880
<v Speaker 1>that stuff, blood pressure, adrenaline, cortisol, respiration, everything's through the roof,

0:25:20.240 --> 0:25:24.200
<v Speaker 1>like just a thought can have a negative physiological consequence.

0:25:24.320 --> 0:25:28.240
<v Speaker 1>And when your story is, oh, this is my age,

0:25:28.280 --> 0:25:31.879
<v Speaker 1>so therefore my options are now this when that's not

0:25:32.040 --> 0:25:37.359
<v Speaker 1>actually true. Of course, there's an inevitability about physiological aging,

0:25:37.480 --> 0:25:41.119
<v Speaker 1>of course, but the variability is how we age and

0:25:41.160 --> 0:25:45.200
<v Speaker 1>the rate at how we age, and also your honor.

0:25:45.520 --> 0:25:49.040
<v Speaker 1>While I'm pleading my case, the fifty year old who's

0:25:49.080 --> 0:25:52.960
<v Speaker 1>never really trained, who starts to train is going to

0:25:53.040 --> 0:25:55.520
<v Speaker 1>get better. They're not just going to kind of maintain.

0:25:56.359 --> 0:26:00.680
<v Speaker 1>They're gonna get better. And you think about how many

0:26:00.800 --> 0:26:06.480
<v Speaker 1>people consciously train their body, quite a few. How many

0:26:06.480 --> 0:26:12.800
<v Speaker 1>people consciously and I mean intentionally structured, reasoned application train

0:26:12.880 --> 0:26:18.280
<v Speaker 1>their brain almost none? Almost none. And your brain is

0:26:18.720 --> 0:26:22.480
<v Speaker 1>exactly like the rest of your body in that it

0:26:22.520 --> 0:26:25.919
<v Speaker 1>will deteriorate if you're not doing something to stop it

0:26:25.960 --> 0:26:29.280
<v Speaker 1>from deteriorating. And so for me, part of my reason

0:26:29.320 --> 0:26:32.840
<v Speaker 1>for doing a PhD is that is, like, oh, I

0:26:32.880 --> 0:26:35.480
<v Speaker 1>know so much stuff, not because I'm brilliant, not because

0:26:35.520 --> 0:26:38.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm smarter than anyone, but just because I've been through

0:26:38.080 --> 0:26:42.199
<v Speaker 1>this multi year process where oh I went into an

0:26:42.280 --> 0:26:46.080
<v Speaker 1>environment where I was totally inept. I'm not even being

0:26:46.119 --> 0:26:49.200
<v Speaker 1>metaphoric when I say I was literally the dumbest one

0:26:49.200 --> 0:26:51.359
<v Speaker 1>in the room. I couldn't speak the language, I didn't

0:26:51.400 --> 0:26:55.240
<v Speaker 1>understand the culture. I would read academic papers, I would

0:26:55.320 --> 0:26:58.600
<v Speaker 1>have to reread one page for an hour to understand

0:26:58.640 --> 0:27:01.439
<v Speaker 1>what the paper was saying. I didn't know how to

0:27:01.480 --> 0:27:05.080
<v Speaker 1>write at a PhD level. And that's among all the

0:27:05.160 --> 0:27:07.600
<v Speaker 1>other things I've been doing over the last five years.

0:27:08.760 --> 0:27:12.879
<v Speaker 1>And it's just because you know, I'm so excited about

0:27:13.200 --> 0:27:16.240
<v Speaker 1>and this is not bullshit for a podcast. I'm so

0:27:16.400 --> 0:27:20.520
<v Speaker 1>excited about what I can do, not what people think

0:27:20.520 --> 0:27:22.800
<v Speaker 1>of me, not how much money I can earn, but

0:27:22.920 --> 0:27:27.560
<v Speaker 1>just what I can do. Because I think our limitation

0:27:27.760 --> 0:27:31.360
<v Speaker 1>is not our potential or our capacity nearly as much

0:27:31.400 --> 0:27:34.840
<v Speaker 1>as it is our thinking about our potential. Like we

0:27:35.040 --> 0:27:39.960
<v Speaker 1>have age related thinking, and then we have people going, oh, well,

0:27:40.000 --> 0:27:43.040
<v Speaker 1>you know what your age. Your shut the fuck up

0:27:43.240 --> 0:27:46.639
<v Speaker 1>at your age, Like stop it. I mean, my training

0:27:46.640 --> 0:27:50.920
<v Speaker 1>partner just turned sixty. He looks like a fucking freak.

0:27:52.000 --> 0:27:55.040
<v Speaker 1>And his you know, he rides an hour and a

0:27:55.040 --> 0:27:58.399
<v Speaker 1>half two hours a day on his bike. He still works,

0:27:58.440 --> 0:28:02.000
<v Speaker 1>he still does stuff, he trains, he's learning all the time.

0:28:02.600 --> 0:28:05.960
<v Speaker 1>He's always researching. He's always doing stuff. He's got three kids,

0:28:06.000 --> 0:28:08.159
<v Speaker 1>he's got a wife. It's not like he's self centered.

0:28:08.240 --> 0:28:12.000
<v Speaker 1>He's not. And he inspires me. He's you know, and

0:28:12.040 --> 0:28:13.679
<v Speaker 1>he's a year and a half younger than me.

0:28:14.160 --> 0:28:18.080
<v Speaker 2>Your body language, everything ramped up your volume. We've we've

0:28:18.160 --> 0:28:19.320
<v Speaker 2>hit a hot button.

0:28:19.920 --> 0:28:22.600
<v Speaker 1>My question to you is, I just want to circle

0:28:22.640 --> 0:28:25.880
<v Speaker 1>back to one thing we spoke about, you know, fifteen

0:28:25.920 --> 0:28:28.439
<v Speaker 1>minutes of fame. Fame, everyone wants to be literally. I

0:28:28.480 --> 0:28:30.280
<v Speaker 1>did a talk at a school a few months ago,

0:28:30.280 --> 0:28:32.480
<v Speaker 1>which I don't do many schools, but it was year tens,

0:28:33.119 --> 0:28:36.719
<v Speaker 1>private college, of course it was, and we spoke about

0:28:36.960 --> 0:28:39.040
<v Speaker 1>you know, the why and what and how of goals

0:28:39.040 --> 0:28:41.480
<v Speaker 1>and stuff, very basic, and I just said, who wants

0:28:41.520 --> 0:28:44.720
<v Speaker 1>to go? Why don't you five, five of you tell

0:28:44.760 --> 0:28:46.840
<v Speaker 1>me what your goals are? I said, I need five hands.

0:28:46.880 --> 0:28:49.680
<v Speaker 1>Five hands went up. Two of the five. You know what?

0:28:49.720 --> 0:28:54.680
<v Speaker 1>The goal was? To be famous? That's their goal. Now

0:28:54.720 --> 0:28:56.960
<v Speaker 1>I'm not judging that. I'm just curious about that.

0:28:57.840 --> 0:29:03.080
<v Speaker 2>Also in that generation to be YouTubers Instagram.

0:29:03.120 --> 0:29:07.479
<v Speaker 1>Yeah why And they're like what, I go, why so

0:29:07.520 --> 0:29:10.160
<v Speaker 1>you want to be famous? Why? Neither of them could

0:29:10.200 --> 0:29:16.120
<v Speaker 1>tell me. I think people confuse fame or even popularity

0:29:17.080 --> 0:29:21.800
<v Speaker 1>with love. Like I've got a reasonably high profile. I'm

0:29:21.840 --> 0:29:26.160
<v Speaker 1>definitely not famous, but you know in Melbourne, I'm moderately

0:29:26.200 --> 0:29:30.000
<v Speaker 1>well known. But I don't confuse that at all with

0:29:30.320 --> 0:29:35.960
<v Speaker 1>friendships or real connection or love or you know. It's

0:29:36.080 --> 0:29:38.520
<v Speaker 1>like I reckon, if you have five people in your

0:29:38.520 --> 0:29:42.800
<v Speaker 1>life who love you unconditionally, you're doing great. So what

0:29:42.840 --> 0:29:45.040
<v Speaker 1>do you think about fame? What's the drive? Why do

0:29:45.120 --> 0:29:45.959
<v Speaker 1>people want that?

0:29:47.040 --> 0:29:49.320
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to try and tap this into my definition

0:29:49.360 --> 0:29:52.320
<v Speaker 2>of success and try and wrap two open loops up together.

0:29:52.680 --> 0:29:55.720
<v Speaker 2>So this is either going to go ah, our audience

0:29:55.760 --> 0:29:58.360
<v Speaker 2>will go that makes sense, or they go he totally

0:29:58.440 --> 0:30:00.760
<v Speaker 2>stuffs that on our bold symbol. I've dropped to sitter.

0:30:03.640 --> 0:30:06.520
<v Speaker 2>I think there's two definitions, or two origins of success.

0:30:07.480 --> 0:30:09.760
<v Speaker 2>One is external and that it can be aligned to

0:30:09.880 --> 0:30:14.160
<v Speaker 2>your performance based identity. I perform Therefore I am now

0:30:14.160 --> 0:30:16.960
<v Speaker 2>there's nothing wrong with that. You and I have worked

0:30:16.960 --> 0:30:21.680
<v Speaker 2>with hundreds collectively of athletes, thousands of people, tens of

0:30:21.720 --> 0:30:26.800
<v Speaker 2>thousands who have been driven by a performance based identity,

0:30:26.920 --> 0:30:28.480
<v Speaker 2>and that is external and extremes.

0:30:28.480 --> 0:30:29.120
<v Speaker 1>You can get.

0:30:28.920 --> 0:30:31.760
<v Speaker 2>Rewarded with money and fame and cash and accolades and

0:30:32.800 --> 0:30:36.280
<v Speaker 2>love and relationships and all that stuff, and there's nothing

0:30:36.320 --> 0:30:38.320
<v Speaker 2>wrong with that. But where I spend a lot of

0:30:38.320 --> 0:30:40.120
<v Speaker 2>my time and I know you do, is then try

0:30:40.200 --> 0:30:46.520
<v Speaker 2>to stitch that together with more internal intrinsic, inspirational, and

0:30:46.560 --> 0:30:50.560
<v Speaker 2>that's a purpose based identity, and that's who I am

0:30:50.600 --> 0:30:53.560
<v Speaker 2>in this world and how I contribute. And for a

0:30:53.560 --> 0:30:56.440
<v Speaker 2>lot of people that go our purpose, mate, I'm too busy, tired, distracted,

0:30:56.440 --> 0:30:57.160
<v Speaker 2>I can't go there.

0:30:57.160 --> 0:30:59.080
<v Speaker 1>Well, just look at meaning. What gives you meaning?

0:30:59.480 --> 0:31:01.440
<v Speaker 2>So I think they are the two definitions. And this

0:31:01.560 --> 0:31:03.400
<v Speaker 2>is not new because you look at the literature. You've

0:31:03.440 --> 0:31:07.600
<v Speaker 2>got you'd ammonia and heat ammonia. The you'd ammonia aligned

0:31:07.600 --> 0:31:10.640
<v Speaker 2>to the Greek word or philosophy of being connected. It's

0:31:10.640 --> 0:31:12.600
<v Speaker 2>more than you and headimonia is all about just you

0:31:12.680 --> 0:31:15.560
<v Speaker 2>and power and kudos and everything else. So to me,

0:31:15.760 --> 0:31:18.479
<v Speaker 2>I think there's a beautiful diagram like a ven diagram,

0:31:18.560 --> 0:31:20.800
<v Speaker 2>and you can have them both intersecting. So do I

0:31:20.920 --> 0:31:23.720
<v Speaker 2>want to build a business and make money and have

0:31:23.760 --> 0:31:25.840
<v Speaker 2>a nice house and a car and have some experiences?

0:31:25.880 --> 0:31:30.120
<v Speaker 2>Abs A frequently harps absolutely, But is that the only goal? No,

0:31:30.440 --> 0:31:32.640
<v Speaker 2>because the first forty years of my life, I was

0:31:32.720 --> 0:31:37.320
<v Speaker 2>so performance based, and then you know, my story went

0:31:37.360 --> 0:31:39.960
<v Speaker 2>through a marriage breakdown, living in a big house, big cars,

0:31:40.000 --> 0:31:42.720
<v Speaker 2>water views, two kids, and I was miserable because there's

0:31:42.760 --> 0:31:45.200
<v Speaker 2>nothing for me. So to me, it's the stitching together

0:31:45.280 --> 0:31:49.160
<v Speaker 2>of the two. Now, if you do that, it's sustainable.

0:31:49.240 --> 0:31:52.160
<v Speaker 2>If you do that, it can be really impactful because

0:31:52.160 --> 0:31:54.840
<v Speaker 2>then you're living on your terms, your purpose. So then

0:31:54.880 --> 0:31:59.680
<v Speaker 2>what is fame. Fame could be the barista in a

0:31:59.720 --> 0:32:02.720
<v Speaker 2>small country town it makes frickin awesome coffee that keeps

0:32:02.720 --> 0:32:05.719
<v Speaker 2>everyone awake, but more so connected first thing of a morning.

0:32:06.520 --> 0:32:09.720
<v Speaker 2>Or fame may be getting millions of record styles and downloads.

0:32:11.480 --> 0:32:13.560
<v Speaker 2>But to me, it's stitching the two together. So I

0:32:13.600 --> 0:32:16.120
<v Speaker 2>think you can have external success, but you've got to

0:32:16.120 --> 0:32:19.080
<v Speaker 2>be grounded in a set of values, and the purpose

0:32:19.160 --> 0:32:21.959
<v Speaker 2>is bigger than you. It's future focused, and it excites

0:32:22.000 --> 0:32:24.600
<v Speaker 2>the living daylights out of here. I've just gone pretty

0:32:24.640 --> 0:32:27.200
<v Speaker 2>deep and broad with you. So to me, it's those

0:32:27.240 --> 0:32:32.200
<v Speaker 2>two definitions of all identities, the purpose based identity and

0:32:32.240 --> 0:32:35.400
<v Speaker 2>the performance based identity. And I find I'm sure for

0:32:35.440 --> 0:32:38.280
<v Speaker 2>your audience and my audience, a lot of them will

0:32:38.320 --> 0:32:41.320
<v Speaker 2>understand the performance based identity, because that's what the that's

0:32:41.320 --> 0:32:45.080
<v Speaker 2>the school board that we're measured on. We're measured on this.

0:32:45.200 --> 0:32:46.960
<v Speaker 2>You make the team where you don't you score the

0:32:47.000 --> 0:32:49.160
<v Speaker 2>points or you don't you get the girl or the guy,

0:32:49.240 --> 0:32:51.520
<v Speaker 2>or you don't you get the metrics at work or

0:32:51.560 --> 0:32:51.920
<v Speaker 2>you don't.

0:32:52.000 --> 0:32:53.120
<v Speaker 1>So life is very.

0:32:53.040 --> 0:32:55.520
<v Speaker 2>Much performance based, and I think for a lot of people,

0:32:55.880 --> 0:32:58.120
<v Speaker 2>you've got to adapt to that and work with that.

0:32:59.000 --> 0:33:01.320
<v Speaker 2>Why we have so many people although who earns so

0:33:01.440 --> 0:33:03.360
<v Speaker 2>much money. I've worked with a couple of billionaires and

0:33:03.400 --> 0:33:07.960
<v Speaker 2>no miserable bastards because they develop nothing about the heart

0:33:08.360 --> 0:33:11.560
<v Speaker 2>or about the connection of the purpose. I'll draw a breath.

0:33:11.600 --> 0:33:13.640
<v Speaker 2>There's a very long answer to a simple question.

0:33:14.000 --> 0:33:18.800
<v Speaker 1>No, No, I like it. I like it. I think identity

0:33:18.880 --> 0:33:24.160
<v Speaker 1>is a really interesting door to open because we often

0:33:24.200 --> 0:33:30.800
<v Speaker 1>attach our beliefs or our talent or our capacity to

0:33:30.960 --> 0:33:34.320
<v Speaker 1>win or whatever it is. You know. It's like obviously

0:33:34.360 --> 0:33:37.880
<v Speaker 1>religion's a big one, but you know, when you believe something,

0:33:38.080 --> 0:33:40.720
<v Speaker 1>or you think you believe something, or you do believe something,

0:33:40.840 --> 0:33:43.760
<v Speaker 1>or you think you know something, you think you're right

0:33:43.880 --> 0:33:46.640
<v Speaker 1>about something, you think you have the answer, you have

0:33:46.920 --> 0:33:51.280
<v Speaker 1>insight that other people don't have, and that becomes intertwined

0:33:51.360 --> 0:33:57.080
<v Speaker 1>with if not truly representative of your identity, then you

0:33:57.160 --> 0:34:01.880
<v Speaker 1>make yourself pretty much unteachable unless somebody is echoing your

0:34:01.920 --> 0:34:07.040
<v Speaker 1>same thoughts, right, And this is a you know, of course,

0:34:07.120 --> 0:34:11.440
<v Speaker 1>confirmation bias and the famous old echo chamber, and you

0:34:11.480 --> 0:34:16.000
<v Speaker 1>know we that it is two things are I think

0:34:16.800 --> 0:34:21.040
<v Speaker 1>true in most people. At the same time we say, oh, yeah,

0:34:21.040 --> 0:34:23.040
<v Speaker 1>I want to be a better version of me. I'm

0:34:23.120 --> 0:34:27.319
<v Speaker 1>open minded, I love learning. Da da da da da.

0:34:27.800 --> 0:34:30.920
<v Speaker 1>But at the same time we are pretty much fucking

0:34:31.080 --> 0:34:36.080
<v Speaker 1>rock solid unteachable on certain things because we think that

0:34:36.280 --> 0:34:39.840
<v Speaker 1>we absolutely know when we don't know. We don't have knowledge.

0:34:39.880 --> 0:34:42.880
<v Speaker 1>We have belief. We have faith, and faith and belief

0:34:42.880 --> 0:34:46.440
<v Speaker 1>are good things. But it's like I've probably said this

0:34:46.480 --> 0:34:49.200
<v Speaker 1>to you at some stage and maybe listeners, but I

0:34:49.280 --> 0:34:52.440
<v Speaker 1>grew up and it's not about religion. It's about thinking.

0:34:52.520 --> 0:34:56.000
<v Speaker 1>It's about metacognition. It's about understanding why you think the

0:34:56.040 --> 0:35:00.120
<v Speaker 1>way you think, and understanding why you have such a

0:35:00.160 --> 0:35:04.120
<v Speaker 1>fear based emotional attachment to an idea or a construct

0:35:04.440 --> 0:35:09.040
<v Speaker 1>or an ideology because you are the ideology and if

0:35:09.080 --> 0:35:12.439
<v Speaker 1>someone attacks the ideology or thought or the belief, then

0:35:12.520 --> 0:35:17.719
<v Speaker 1>you feel attacked. Now, when you are intertwined with something

0:35:17.840 --> 0:35:21.480
<v Speaker 1>else that isn't you, especially if we're talking about a

0:35:21.520 --> 0:35:28.160
<v Speaker 1>theoretical construct, it's it's very, very hard to truly be

0:35:28.320 --> 0:35:34.040
<v Speaker 1>objective and awhere and conscious because you are always looking

0:35:34.080 --> 0:35:37.000
<v Speaker 1>at life through the window of or the filter of

0:35:37.320 --> 0:35:40.799
<v Speaker 1>I am a Vegan, I am a Catholic, I am

0:35:40.840 --> 0:35:43.600
<v Speaker 1>a whatever. It is not the being a vegan or

0:35:43.600 --> 0:35:46.359
<v Speaker 1>a Catholic about, of course, but it's hello to all

0:35:46.400 --> 0:35:50.120
<v Speaker 1>of that vegan Catholic podcast. But it's no. But do

0:35:50.239 --> 0:35:52.879
<v Speaker 1>I have self limiting beliefs? Yes? Do I Look, I mean,

0:35:52.880 --> 0:35:54.719
<v Speaker 1>this is the point. This is I'm saying this for

0:35:54.800 --> 0:35:58.399
<v Speaker 1>me too. I'm saying there was a I was also.

0:35:58.440 --> 0:35:59.799
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if you know this, but I went

0:35:59.800 --> 0:36:05.080
<v Speaker 1>through a phase where I went to a fundamental born

0:36:05.120 --> 0:36:08.560
<v Speaker 1>again Christian tambourine banging, rafter swinging.

0:36:08.239 --> 0:36:11.640
<v Speaker 2>Church for years years just on that people. People can

0:36:11.680 --> 0:36:14.360
<v Speaker 2>go back in our backlog on the Performance Intelligence podcast,

0:36:15.120 --> 0:36:17.040
<v Speaker 2>not the most recent one, I think the one before that,

0:36:17.320 --> 0:36:19.080
<v Speaker 2>episode number one hundred and two.

0:36:19.239 --> 0:36:20.160
<v Speaker 1>Do you remember the title.

0:36:20.440 --> 0:36:22.120
<v Speaker 2>I think it's the best title we've ever done in

0:36:22.160 --> 0:36:25.000
<v Speaker 2>a podcast. It was Jesus Joe's Hands.

0:36:24.719 --> 0:36:33.799
<v Speaker 1>And Jeers that's right, that's right, remember conversation. But there

0:36:33.800 --> 0:36:37.080
<v Speaker 1>were times when if you tried to even talk to

0:36:37.120 --> 0:36:42.480
<v Speaker 1>me about something that was an alternate theology or theory,

0:36:42.760 --> 0:36:45.839
<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't have listened to you, right, And that is

0:36:45.920 --> 0:36:49.120
<v Speaker 1>all about me. That is all about and I understand that.

0:36:49.160 --> 0:36:51.680
<v Speaker 1>So I'm not saying don't believe, don't think. I'm not

0:36:51.719 --> 0:36:55.319
<v Speaker 1>saying that. I'm saying, if we truly want to be

0:36:56.280 --> 0:37:02.080
<v Speaker 1>teachable and cognitively and emotionally and even spiritually malleable, like

0:37:02.160 --> 0:37:04.799
<v Speaker 1>that is where we are open to learn. We are

0:37:04.960 --> 0:37:08.560
<v Speaker 1>okay with being wrong. We are okay with not knowing.

0:37:08.760 --> 0:37:10.799
<v Speaker 1>Here's an idea. When someone asks you something and you

0:37:10.840 --> 0:37:15.920
<v Speaker 1>don't know, go I don't know the end. Not Ah,

0:37:16.080 --> 0:37:18.680
<v Speaker 1>It's like there's so much shit of all there is

0:37:18.719 --> 0:37:21.320
<v Speaker 1>to know. If all there is to know is an ocean,

0:37:21.440 --> 0:37:23.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm a drop of water in that ocean.

0:37:23.640 --> 0:37:27.000
<v Speaker 2>When you do that, not even I find I wouldn't

0:37:27.000 --> 0:37:28.920
<v Speaker 2>have done that in my early career because I thought

0:37:29.000 --> 0:37:34.120
<v Speaker 2>I've got to be this omniscient, omnipotent person pretending it's bullshit.

0:37:34.160 --> 0:37:36.400
<v Speaker 2>It's a facade when you say to somehow, I don't know.

0:37:36.760 --> 0:37:38.840
<v Speaker 2>I had an athlete last week and a coach actually

0:37:38.840 --> 0:37:41.040
<v Speaker 2>talking to both of them. They asked me something. I said, Okay,

0:37:41.040 --> 0:37:44.320
<v Speaker 2>that's a really good question. I'm not sure. Can you

0:37:44.360 --> 0:37:46.359
<v Speaker 2>give me a bit of time to go and check

0:37:46.400 --> 0:37:48.960
<v Speaker 2>on that and I'll come bat you. The athletic left

0:37:48.960 --> 0:37:50.440
<v Speaker 2>and I was with the coach just having a coffee.

0:37:50.480 --> 0:37:54.799
<v Speaker 2>He said, that was really refreshing. I said, what I said?

0:37:54.800 --> 0:37:56.200
<v Speaker 2>When you just said I'm going to go and check that,

0:37:56.280 --> 0:37:58.040
<v Speaker 2>I said, well, I didn't know. I wasn't going to

0:37:58.120 --> 0:38:01.719
<v Speaker 2>make it up. We're talking about something pretty serious to

0:38:01.760 --> 0:38:06.560
<v Speaker 2>this athlete. I said, it's totally totally negligent of me

0:38:06.800 --> 0:38:09.280
<v Speaker 2>to make that up if I don't know that comes

0:38:09.280 --> 0:38:13.040
<v Speaker 2>with age. And just to wrap out on success, because

0:38:13.040 --> 0:38:14.839
<v Speaker 2>I want to talk a little bit about hard work,

0:38:14.880 --> 0:38:17.520
<v Speaker 2>which is non sexy and boring, and as you said,

0:38:17.520 --> 0:38:20.800
<v Speaker 2>done in the shadows. What if we got our listeners

0:38:20.880 --> 0:38:24.439
<v Speaker 2>and our viewers, so our collective audience to just sit

0:38:24.520 --> 0:38:28.480
<v Speaker 2>down and write down what is success for you? Grab

0:38:28.760 --> 0:38:32.000
<v Speaker 2>a beverage of your choice, and just sit down for

0:38:32.000 --> 0:38:34.640
<v Speaker 2>ten or fifteen minutes with no distraction and just ask

0:38:34.719 --> 0:38:38.520
<v Speaker 2>that question. What is success or a statement? Success for

0:38:38.680 --> 0:38:40.080
<v Speaker 2>me is dot dot dot?

0:38:40.440 --> 0:38:40.600
<v Speaker 1>Now?

0:38:40.640 --> 0:38:44.680
<v Speaker 2>I gave you that definition with two nice circles crossed

0:38:44.719 --> 0:38:48.279
<v Speaker 2>over purpose based identity, performance based identity, but made. It's

0:38:48.280 --> 0:38:50.680
<v Speaker 2>taken me lots of highs and lows and stuff ups

0:38:50.719 --> 0:38:52.960
<v Speaker 2>and fuck ups to actually put that together. And a

0:38:53.000 --> 0:38:55.160
<v Speaker 2>simple one for me is making sure I'm making a

0:38:55.200 --> 0:38:57.800
<v Speaker 2>contribution to the outside world, connecting with my loved ones

0:38:58.160 --> 0:39:01.280
<v Speaker 2>and from a personal point of view, engaged and feeling

0:39:01.400 --> 0:39:03.000
<v Speaker 2>like I'm being deuced. So it doesn't have to be

0:39:03.080 --> 0:39:06.920
<v Speaker 2>high level, high science, high tech. What is it that

0:39:07.800 --> 0:39:11.000
<v Speaker 2>defines or delineates success for you? And you know what, harps,

0:39:11.600 --> 0:39:13.439
<v Speaker 2>You've been on this planet just a little bit longer

0:39:13.440 --> 0:39:17.920
<v Speaker 2>than me, mate. But the more I deal with people,

0:39:18.080 --> 0:39:20.600
<v Speaker 2>the more I just realize we've got to help people

0:39:20.600 --> 0:39:23.600
<v Speaker 2>with a framework because we don't get this manual on

0:39:23.680 --> 0:39:26.480
<v Speaker 2>how we work, and we're fricking complicated and complex, and

0:39:26.520 --> 0:39:29.480
<v Speaker 2>we're becoming more so with tech and AI and there's

0:39:29.520 --> 0:39:31.440
<v Speaker 2>a whole bunch of stuff on that as well.

0:39:31.440 --> 0:39:31.720
<v Speaker 1>AI.

0:39:31.920 --> 0:39:34.080
<v Speaker 2>Yes it's helping you be more productive, but it's killing

0:39:34.120 --> 0:39:36.680
<v Speaker 2>your brain if you don't work it. But we really

0:39:36.680 --> 0:39:38.920
<v Speaker 2>do just need to sometimes come back to fundamentals and

0:39:38.960 --> 0:39:40.960
<v Speaker 2>go what is it like, what is going to make

0:39:41.000 --> 0:39:43.440
<v Speaker 2>me happy or fulfilled? And what is success to me?

0:39:44.920 --> 0:39:48.759
<v Speaker 2>And then reverse engineer it, set your life up for

0:39:48.800 --> 0:39:53.040
<v Speaker 2>it rather than just getting into this slipstream before you

0:39:53.080 --> 0:39:56.680
<v Speaker 2>realize you wake up ten, twenty thirty, forty fifty years

0:39:56.760 --> 0:40:00.920
<v Speaker 2>later living someone else's life and go, shit, what was that.

0:40:02.080 --> 0:40:05.320
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, look, I think that's a great question to ask,

0:40:05.440 --> 0:40:08.640
<v Speaker 1>and I think another question to ask, so one from Andrew,

0:40:08.760 --> 0:40:12.799
<v Speaker 1>one from Harps. My question is what are your values?

0:40:13.440 --> 0:40:16.480
<v Speaker 1>And is your life a reflection of those values? So

0:40:16.560 --> 0:40:19.319
<v Speaker 1>for me, values are just the things that matter to

0:40:19.400 --> 0:40:21.960
<v Speaker 1>you most, and you can't get it wrong because they're

0:40:22.000 --> 0:40:25.480
<v Speaker 1>your values. But so I would say for me, things

0:40:25.560 --> 0:40:28.640
<v Speaker 1>like you know, physical mental, emotional health, that's a value,

0:40:29.160 --> 0:40:32.600
<v Speaker 1>looking after people that I love, my parents, being elderly

0:40:32.719 --> 0:40:36.400
<v Speaker 1>right now, that's probably my number one value at the moment.

0:40:37.080 --> 0:40:39.240
<v Speaker 1>Having a purpose bigger than me, and being of service,

0:40:39.280 --> 0:40:41.480
<v Speaker 1>which Andrews spoke about, that's a value for me. So

0:40:41.640 --> 0:40:44.840
<v Speaker 1>I think, you know, and it sounds cheesy and cliche

0:40:44.960 --> 0:40:46.880
<v Speaker 1>and we can all go, oh, yeah, of course it is,

0:40:46.920 --> 0:40:49.399
<v Speaker 1>because you're on a fucking podcast. I get that too.

0:40:49.560 --> 0:40:52.160
<v Speaker 1>I get that too. And have I ever been a selfish,

0:40:52.239 --> 0:40:57.799
<v Speaker 1>self centered, thoughtless, lacking empathy. Have I ever Yes, sure have,

0:40:58.480 --> 0:41:00.800
<v Speaker 1>Sure have? Do I ever do that? Now? Sure?

0:41:00.840 --> 0:41:00.880
<v Speaker 2>Do?

0:41:01.480 --> 0:41:03.680
<v Speaker 1>I try not to. I try to be more aware.

0:41:04.280 --> 0:41:06.520
<v Speaker 1>I am one of the most flawed people I know,

0:41:07.400 --> 0:41:09.680
<v Speaker 1>but I'm okay to say that, and I'm a work

0:41:09.719 --> 0:41:13.440
<v Speaker 1>in progress. But what having clarity about our values does.

0:41:14.360 --> 0:41:18.160
<v Speaker 1>It helps us make decisions as we navigate life. Where

0:41:18.160 --> 0:41:21.600
<v Speaker 1>we go, Oh, here's an opportunity, or here's a decision

0:41:21.640 --> 0:41:23.640
<v Speaker 1>I've got to make, or here's a situation I've got

0:41:23.640 --> 0:41:27.000
<v Speaker 1>to deal with. Well, these are my values, so it's clear.

0:41:27.160 --> 0:41:29.120
<v Speaker 1>It's clear what I need to do or not do.

0:41:29.400 --> 0:41:34.200
<v Speaker 1>It's not easy because sometimes some of those opportunities are

0:41:34.200 --> 0:41:37.960
<v Speaker 1>financially rewarding, but they don't align with my values. And

0:41:38.040 --> 0:41:39.880
<v Speaker 1>I think we've spoken about this, but I've had a

0:41:39.960 --> 0:41:44.239
<v Speaker 1>number of probably five or six or seven really good

0:41:44.280 --> 0:41:47.319
<v Speaker 1>commercial opportunities on my show that I couldn't take. They

0:41:47.320 --> 0:41:50.560
<v Speaker 1>were financially good opportunities, but they didn't They just didn't

0:41:50.600 --> 0:41:53.000
<v Speaker 1>align with what I think and what I believe, and

0:41:53.440 --> 0:41:56.719
<v Speaker 1>I definitely couldn't sell that stuff. So I went, I

0:41:56.719 --> 0:41:59.480
<v Speaker 1>would love your dough, but I can't sell your stuff.

0:42:00.360 --> 0:42:04.080
<v Speaker 1>And so was it easy? No? Was it clear? Though?

0:42:04.200 --> 0:42:07.160
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely it's now a perfect segaway. We're going to take

0:42:07.160 --> 0:42:09.440
<v Speaker 2>an AD and we'll be back to the program shortly.

0:42:09.920 --> 0:42:12.600
<v Speaker 2>This program with Craig Harper is sponsored by hard Rock

0:42:12.640 --> 0:42:15.640
<v Speaker 2>Correct Ol dysfunction Treatment. You're having problem getting.

0:42:19.520 --> 0:42:21.919
<v Speaker 1>Well? That I would certainly sponsor that.

0:42:22.239 --> 0:42:26.359
<v Speaker 2>I I want you then going, Hey, shiny head, didn't

0:42:26.360 --> 0:42:28.720
<v Speaker 2>tell me he's now bringing ads in. You were thinking

0:42:28.719 --> 0:42:33.279
<v Speaker 2>this guy's gone next level? Hey bringing it an AD?

0:42:33.360 --> 0:42:36.960
<v Speaker 2>Not talking about hard rock? Well close enough, hard.

0:42:36.760 --> 0:42:40.360
<v Speaker 1>Rock hard something. And yes, it's.

0:42:40.760 --> 0:42:43.600
<v Speaker 2>Well, that's where we were going, wasn't that. Yes, that's right.

0:42:44.000 --> 0:42:44.880
<v Speaker 1>See what you do to me.

0:42:44.960 --> 0:42:47.839
<v Speaker 2>You make me feel intelligent and playful and silly all

0:42:47.840 --> 0:42:51.000
<v Speaker 2>at once. Harps, you're an influence on all sides of

0:42:51.040 --> 0:42:51.959
<v Speaker 2>my spectrums.

0:42:53.000 --> 0:42:56.000
<v Speaker 1>Don't blame me for your bad behavior. You take responsibility.

0:42:56.480 --> 0:42:58.239
<v Speaker 2>We've both gone a little bit red, or I would

0:42:58.280 --> 0:43:01.480
<v Speaker 2>take a breath. Rip Van Winkle a fictational character from

0:43:01.480 --> 0:43:04.480
<v Speaker 2>a short story by a dude named Washington Irving published

0:43:04.480 --> 0:43:06.440
<v Speaker 2>back in the eighteen hundred. Somewhere you know the Rip

0:43:06.480 --> 0:43:09.440
<v Speaker 2>van Winkle story is an easy going dude. This is

0:43:10.200 --> 0:43:12.400
<v Speaker 2>I actually dug this up because I've been saying for

0:43:12.440 --> 0:43:16.160
<v Speaker 2>a long time. Rip Van Winkle. It takes fifteen twenty

0:43:16.239 --> 0:43:18.359
<v Speaker 2>years to become an overnight success. But I'd never looked

0:43:18.400 --> 0:43:20.760
<v Speaker 2>at the origin story. Do you know the origin story?

0:43:21.560 --> 0:43:24.319
<v Speaker 1>Tell me that, Like, I know of the story, but

0:43:24.440 --> 0:43:26.360
<v Speaker 1>I really don't know the story story.

0:43:26.440 --> 0:43:28.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so I thought, in preparation for chatting to you,

0:43:28.600 --> 0:43:30.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to use Rip van Winkle. I better actually

0:43:30.520 --> 0:43:33.040
<v Speaker 2>find out about the old Vans to himself. So this

0:43:33.640 --> 0:43:37.120
<v Speaker 2>is what the information says. Rip is an easy going

0:43:37.160 --> 0:43:40.720
<v Speaker 2>man who wanted to escape his nagging wife. Please, any

0:43:40.760 --> 0:43:43.279
<v Speaker 2>of our audience, do not shoot the messenger. This is

0:43:43.280 --> 0:43:47.000
<v Speaker 2>what I was saying. By wandering into the mountains, he

0:43:47.080 --> 0:43:49.560
<v Speaker 2>had some mysterious liquor given to him by strange men.

0:43:49.600 --> 0:43:51.920
<v Speaker 2>He fell asleep, and he woke up twenty years later.

0:43:52.560 --> 0:43:54.920
<v Speaker 2>When he returned to his village, everything had changed, including

0:43:54.920 --> 0:43:57.480
<v Speaker 2>the fact the American Revolution had taken place and people

0:43:57.520 --> 0:44:01.920
<v Speaker 2>barely recognized him. He felt fus and out of time. However,

0:44:02.400 --> 0:44:05.280
<v Speaker 2>the overnight success part of this relates to a metaphor

0:44:05.440 --> 0:44:08.719
<v Speaker 2>used to highlight the illusion that someone becomes successful out

0:44:08.760 --> 0:44:11.600
<v Speaker 2>of nowhere, or the public perception of a sudden transformation

0:44:11.719 --> 0:44:14.520
<v Speaker 2>without acknowledging the long passage of time. And the changes

0:44:14.560 --> 0:44:17.480
<v Speaker 2>that happened quietly in the background. So Rip comes back

0:44:17.520 --> 0:44:19.960
<v Speaker 2>and it's changed massively because he's been asleep so he

0:44:20.000 --> 0:44:22.400
<v Speaker 2>didn't actually see the subtle changes. And it's also the

0:44:22.440 --> 0:44:24.680
<v Speaker 2>idea of waking up one day to discover the world.

0:44:24.760 --> 0:44:28.040
<v Speaker 2>Finally sees your success, Rip and be involved in a

0:44:28.040 --> 0:44:30.120
<v Speaker 2>fair bit of planning in the town in the early days,

0:44:30.400 --> 0:44:33.400
<v Speaker 2>even though the process had been happening the whole time.

0:44:34.040 --> 0:44:37.000
<v Speaker 2>So the Rip van Winkle effect LinkedIn to Craig Harper.

0:44:37.920 --> 0:44:40.880
<v Speaker 2>Just give our audience who don't know you, just a

0:44:40.920 --> 0:44:43.560
<v Speaker 2>bit of a highlight of some of the successes and

0:44:43.600 --> 0:44:46.719
<v Speaker 2>stuff ups you've had. How many podcasts, how many businesses?

0:44:47.480 --> 0:44:52.480
<v Speaker 2>Really point because because someone you've got one of the

0:44:52.480 --> 0:44:56.920
<v Speaker 2>most downloaded podcasts in Australia. Awesome success, great speaking business.

0:44:56.920 --> 0:44:58.040
<v Speaker 2>But give us the reality.

0:44:58.840 --> 0:45:04.320
<v Speaker 1>So I get about between six and eight million views

0:45:04.480 --> 0:45:07.279
<v Speaker 1>every thirty days on my Instagram, so that's pretty good.

0:45:07.719 --> 0:45:10.799
<v Speaker 1>I've written seven books. I've worked on in Telli. I

0:45:10.800 --> 0:45:14.719
<v Speaker 1>worked on Channel ten on a show called The Dave

0:45:14.800 --> 0:45:17.040
<v Speaker 1>and Kimshow Morning Show for three years. I did a

0:45:17.040 --> 0:45:20.120
<v Speaker 1>weekly spot on there. I worked in commercial radio, set

0:45:20.160 --> 0:45:23.239
<v Speaker 1>up the first personal training centers in Australia. As you

0:45:23.280 --> 0:45:26.440
<v Speaker 1>alluded to wrote the first course. I didn't go to

0:45:26.520 --> 0:45:28.560
<v Speaker 1>UNI til I was thirty six for the first time.

0:45:28.600 --> 0:45:30.680
<v Speaker 1>So there's some encouragement for you old and want to

0:45:30.719 --> 0:45:34.200
<v Speaker 1>be students. Spoken all over the world, spoken in about

0:45:34.200 --> 0:45:39.880
<v Speaker 1>thirty countries. Yeah, and like just a lot of fun stuff.

0:45:40.040 --> 0:45:43.759
<v Speaker 1>And for me, I feel like my biggest achievement in

0:45:43.800 --> 0:45:47.360
<v Speaker 1>this kind of workspace is creating a model of work

0:45:47.360 --> 0:45:51.640
<v Speaker 1>that doesn't feel like work, like I genuinely just love

0:45:51.760 --> 0:45:54.759
<v Speaker 1>the stuff that I do. And the other day I

0:45:54.800 --> 0:45:57.839
<v Speaker 1>went into State and I got stopped twice, once at

0:45:57.840 --> 0:46:05.400
<v Speaker 1>Brisbane and once here in and both people said essentially, harps,

0:46:05.480 --> 0:46:09.640
<v Speaker 1>follow you stuff, love you stuff. You're great, so appreciate you.

0:46:09.760 --> 0:46:12.160
<v Speaker 1>I know you don't know me, but you've had an

0:46:12.200 --> 0:46:15.680
<v Speaker 1>impact in my life and thanks. And one of them

0:46:15.760 --> 0:46:18.520
<v Speaker 1>was a dude, the other one was lady. And he goes,

0:46:18.640 --> 0:46:20.480
<v Speaker 1>can I give you a hug? I'm like, fuck, bring

0:46:20.520 --> 0:46:23.000
<v Speaker 1>it in, bro, you know. So I'm at the airport,

0:46:23.120 --> 0:46:25.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm hugging a dude. I got. I didn't cry, but

0:46:25.719 --> 0:46:28.000
<v Speaker 1>I was about fucking two nine to oh seconds away

0:46:28.000 --> 0:46:30.720
<v Speaker 1>from crying. And I got on the plane and I thought,

0:46:30.800 --> 0:46:33.600
<v Speaker 1>this is why I love my life, Like he was

0:46:33.760 --> 0:46:36.320
<v Speaker 1>this dude to struggle with addiction and all this stuff,

0:46:36.360 --> 0:46:38.520
<v Speaker 1>and he's just in a really good place. And clearly

0:46:38.800 --> 0:46:40.880
<v Speaker 1>I didn't do the work. He did the work, clearly,

0:46:41.280 --> 0:46:43.480
<v Speaker 1>but just being a little part of that journey for me,

0:46:44.400 --> 0:46:48.200
<v Speaker 1>you know that that stuff is, you know, that's always

0:46:48.640 --> 0:46:53.000
<v Speaker 1>for me, like way more meaningful than, you know than

0:46:53.080 --> 0:46:57.800
<v Speaker 1>any kind of financial reward or commercial success. But yeah,

0:46:57.880 --> 0:46:59.840
<v Speaker 1>so lots of stuff, lots of years.

0:47:00.960 --> 0:47:03.480
<v Speaker 2>And then if you were a record, that's your top

0:47:03.560 --> 0:47:06.879
<v Speaker 2>hits at the A side, flip the record over, what's

0:47:06.920 --> 0:47:08.879
<v Speaker 2>the B side? What are some of the stuff ups

0:47:08.880 --> 0:47:11.319
<v Speaker 2>and the setbacks? How many different podcasts did you have

0:47:11.400 --> 0:47:13.000
<v Speaker 2>until you got you projects?

0:47:13.040 --> 0:47:16.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? So I had three shows that didn't work. Even

0:47:16.200 --> 0:47:18.799
<v Speaker 1>the first two hundred shows of the U Project, I

0:47:18.880 --> 0:47:22.160
<v Speaker 1>was losing money. Oh yeah. I mean my theory is

0:47:22.200 --> 0:47:24.560
<v Speaker 1>you can't become a black belt without being a white belt, right.

0:47:24.600 --> 0:47:27.440
<v Speaker 1>You can't get good at what you won't do. You

0:47:27.480 --> 0:47:31.480
<v Speaker 1>can't master what you avoid. So everything that I started

0:47:31.600 --> 0:47:36.560
<v Speaker 1>initially I was either absolutely fucking terrible or very mediocre.

0:47:37.320 --> 0:47:39.000
<v Speaker 1>But how do you get good? Will you get good

0:47:39.040 --> 0:47:42.040
<v Speaker 1>by keep showing up? You know, keeping showing up. So

0:47:42.960 --> 0:47:46.680
<v Speaker 1>I remember my first speaking gig. I was twenty six.

0:47:47.000 --> 0:47:49.640
<v Speaker 1>It was in a timber yard. It was to thirty

0:47:49.680 --> 0:47:53.520
<v Speaker 1>employees in their lunch room. The guy that I owned

0:47:53.520 --> 0:47:58.600
<v Speaker 1>the timberyard was one of my pt clients. I was terrible.

0:47:59.520 --> 0:48:04.040
<v Speaker 1>I was absolutely shitting myself. I couldn't string four words together.

0:48:04.160 --> 0:48:06.480
<v Speaker 1>They hated me, they hated it. They couldn't get out

0:48:06.520 --> 0:48:09.520
<v Speaker 1>of there quick enough. But I had this weird sense

0:48:09.560 --> 0:48:11.480
<v Speaker 1>of Okay, I've done one. That's the worst I'm going

0:48:11.560 --> 0:48:14.160
<v Speaker 1>to be. And that was the worst I ever was, right,

0:48:14.200 --> 0:48:16.880
<v Speaker 1>and and then there was still a lot of stuff up.

0:48:17.200 --> 0:48:21.279
<v Speaker 1>Like you have to be. If your compass is set

0:48:21.360 --> 0:48:27.800
<v Speaker 1>on comfort and instant gratification and certainty and familiarity, that's

0:48:28.120 --> 0:48:31.960
<v Speaker 1>the best possible way to not develop, to not grow,

0:48:32.080 --> 0:48:34.759
<v Speaker 1>to not learn, to not build understanding, awareness and resilience.

0:48:34.800 --> 0:48:38.400
<v Speaker 1>So I've made way more fuck ups than I've had successes.

0:48:39.160 --> 0:48:42.080
<v Speaker 1>But when you you know, as we do, we reframe

0:48:42.120 --> 0:48:43.960
<v Speaker 1>shit and you go, yeah, but what did you learn? Well?

0:48:44.000 --> 0:48:46.440
<v Speaker 1>I actually learned a bunch of stuff, Like I learned

0:48:46.800 --> 0:48:49.920
<v Speaker 1>setting up harpers. Right. There were no personal training centers.

0:48:50.360 --> 0:48:52.920
<v Speaker 1>There wasn't even a course or an accreditation. There was

0:48:52.960 --> 0:48:56.560
<v Speaker 1>an insurance like nobody I'm setting up this thing. I

0:48:56.560 --> 0:49:00.279
<v Speaker 1>don't even have a single person in a country of whatever.

0:49:00.320 --> 0:49:02.920
<v Speaker 1>It was then twenty million that I can ask for

0:49:03.000 --> 0:49:07.160
<v Speaker 1>advice because no one's done it. And I'm twenty five

0:49:07.239 --> 0:49:10.719
<v Speaker 1>or twenty six at the time. I'm not a businessman.

0:49:11.239 --> 0:49:14.279
<v Speaker 1>I don't have a degree. I don't understand leadership. I

0:49:14.280 --> 0:49:18.000
<v Speaker 1>don't understand dealing with counsels and lawyers, and I don't

0:49:18.320 --> 0:49:21.000
<v Speaker 1>you know, like it was just dive in the deep end.

0:49:21.080 --> 0:49:24.080
<v Speaker 1>He actually can't swim, but hopefully he won't drown, and

0:49:24.160 --> 0:49:27.040
<v Speaker 1>I so nearly drowned a hundred times. But you know,

0:49:27.120 --> 0:49:28.160
<v Speaker 1>that's kind of what makes you.

0:49:28.880 --> 0:49:32.640
<v Speaker 2>And any person who's had success over a sustained period

0:49:32.680 --> 0:49:34.520
<v Speaker 2>of time is going to say the same thing. It

0:49:34.600 --> 0:49:40.040
<v Speaker 2>wasn't just rocket ship taking off. It's set back cardship,

0:49:40.160 --> 0:49:43.400
<v Speaker 2>motivation fuel, but was sort of come back to hopefully

0:49:43.440 --> 0:49:46.920
<v Speaker 2>a link to where we were before, knowing what's important

0:49:46.960 --> 0:49:50.800
<v Speaker 2>for you, being values aligned, it's going to be the

0:49:50.840 --> 0:49:52.759
<v Speaker 2>rocket fuel that keeps you going. Because if it's just

0:49:52.800 --> 0:49:55.600
<v Speaker 2>all for the clickbait, Hey I've got this many likes,

0:49:55.640 --> 0:49:58.120
<v Speaker 2>what makes me feel good? That stuff's going to run

0:49:58.120 --> 0:50:01.240
<v Speaker 2>out very very quickly. Isn't it as a fuel source?

0:50:02.160 --> 0:50:07.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, definitely, definitely. I think you need to be, you know,

0:50:07.600 --> 0:50:14.680
<v Speaker 1>intrinsically motivated and really that. Like I was an only child,

0:50:14.760 --> 0:50:17.240
<v Speaker 1>I was insecure. I had I don't know if actually

0:50:17.280 --> 0:50:19.080
<v Speaker 1>had a bigger ego, but I was very insecure. I

0:50:19.120 --> 0:50:22.239
<v Speaker 1>was very fearful, and I was probably sociologically kind of

0:50:22.280 --> 0:50:25.400
<v Speaker 1>needy because I didn't have brothers and sisters. And my

0:50:25.520 --> 0:50:28.520
<v Speaker 1>mum and dad were amazing still are amazing people, but

0:50:29.360 --> 0:50:32.800
<v Speaker 1>ironically we were never super close. It was like growing

0:50:32.880 --> 0:50:34.920
<v Speaker 1>up in my house was like living with an auntie

0:50:34.920 --> 0:50:39.160
<v Speaker 1>and uncle that were great, right, It wasn't. There wasn't

0:50:39.200 --> 0:50:45.520
<v Speaker 1>this super close, emotional, warm, fuzzy connection. So yeah, I

0:50:46.040 --> 0:50:49.520
<v Speaker 1>was a pretty insecure and I would say, you know,

0:50:49.640 --> 0:50:52.160
<v Speaker 1>I probably still got bullshit going on, but up until

0:50:52.200 --> 0:50:57.600
<v Speaker 1>I was thirty, I was really like psychologically and emotionally

0:50:57.719 --> 0:51:01.640
<v Speaker 1>dealing with stuff on a daily basis while role playing

0:51:02.400 --> 0:51:04.600
<v Speaker 1>you know, the cool, confident guy to the world.

0:51:05.400 --> 0:51:09.239
<v Speaker 2>I genuinely mean what I'm about to say. I am

0:51:09.239 --> 0:51:12.319
<v Speaker 2>glad you pushed through. I really am, because you're you're

0:51:12.760 --> 0:51:15.279
<v Speaker 2>been a mentor and inspiration to me. You think I

0:51:15.320 --> 0:51:17.279
<v Speaker 2>was going to take the piece. Then I really remember

0:51:17.280 --> 0:51:18.239
<v Speaker 2>what I'm about to say.

0:51:18.360 --> 0:51:20.640
<v Speaker 1>I was hoping you are to get serious. Why don't

0:51:20.680 --> 0:51:24.000
<v Speaker 1>you get serious? I don't know where to Let's let's

0:51:24.000 --> 0:51:26.640
<v Speaker 1>do the one I generally mean. I'm about to say

0:51:26.640 --> 0:51:29.680
<v Speaker 1>you're an absolute tool Harps and we love. That's better.

0:51:30.280 --> 0:51:32.960
<v Speaker 2>Isn't it funny that I'm more comfortable with that. I've

0:51:33.000 --> 0:51:35.800
<v Speaker 2>had this chat before and I didn't do that purposely.

0:51:35.880 --> 0:51:39.520
<v Speaker 2>But let me let me say you have been a

0:51:39.560 --> 0:51:41.800
<v Speaker 2>real mentor of mine. And the mentor doesn't have to

0:51:41.800 --> 0:51:44.040
<v Speaker 2>be someone live. You can get a mentor through a

0:51:44.080 --> 0:51:47.680
<v Speaker 2>podcast or through a book. But the origin I came

0:51:47.760 --> 0:51:51.120
<v Speaker 2>up to you, I was twenty five, full head of hair, fitness, confidence,

0:51:51.160 --> 0:51:53.120
<v Speaker 2>you know the story, and said, oh you're Craig harper

0:51:53.560 --> 0:51:55.880
<v Speaker 2>manre may and from Hobart. Can I have a chat?

0:51:56.120 --> 0:51:56.319
<v Speaker 1>Said?

0:51:56.360 --> 0:51:58.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, look, have a lunch, come walk with me. So

0:51:59.160 --> 0:52:01.160
<v Speaker 2>you you opened up then. I don't know how many

0:52:01.160 --> 0:52:03.879
<v Speaker 2>thousands of people you've opened up to your studio. I've

0:52:03.880 --> 0:52:05.920
<v Speaker 2>heard a similar story from a whole bunch of people.

0:52:05.960 --> 0:52:09.280
<v Speaker 2>You're very giving. I'm really grateful that you pushed through

0:52:09.560 --> 0:52:12.160
<v Speaker 2>because you've done the hard work, You've the rip Van

0:52:12.239 --> 0:52:14.960
<v Speaker 2>Winkle time to too and a bit more and then

0:52:15.040 --> 0:52:17.680
<v Speaker 2>you have the compound interest. But I want to talk

0:52:17.680 --> 0:52:19.880
<v Speaker 2>about one topic before we wrap up, and that's the

0:52:19.920 --> 0:52:23.440
<v Speaker 2>notion of when do you know enough is enough?

0:52:23.480 --> 0:52:24.719
<v Speaker 1>And I walk away.

0:52:25.160 --> 0:52:29.120
<v Speaker 2>Because more discretionary effort, more time invested in this, it's

0:52:29.120 --> 0:52:32.319
<v Speaker 2>actually not going to help. So will There's glory in persistence.

0:52:32.360 --> 0:52:36.720
<v Speaker 2>There's also wisdom in pivoting and knowing the difference around

0:52:36.719 --> 0:52:41.640
<v Speaker 2>what separates obsession from evolution is really really important. I

0:52:41.680 --> 0:52:43.920
<v Speaker 2>have an example personally for me. It was running. I

0:52:43.960 --> 0:52:47.879
<v Speaker 2>stopped running at twenty eight. I had two goals, break

0:52:47.920 --> 0:52:49.800
<v Speaker 2>the four minute mile and to go to the Olympics,

0:52:49.800 --> 0:52:52.480
<v Speaker 2>and I did neither. Could have I run faster?

0:52:52.600 --> 0:52:53.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I reckon.

0:52:53.120 --> 0:52:55.439
<v Speaker 2>I could have got my fifteen hundred time down maybe

0:52:55.440 --> 0:52:58.200
<v Speaker 2>another four or five seconds would have taken a couple

0:52:58.239 --> 0:53:03.040
<v Speaker 2>of years. Did I have the heart, share, passion, commitment,

0:53:03.120 --> 0:53:04.040
<v Speaker 2>disciplined to do that?

0:53:04.120 --> 0:53:04.319
<v Speaker 1>God?

0:53:04.440 --> 0:53:07.840
<v Speaker 2>Now, I had just run out of energy. So the

0:53:08.160 --> 0:53:11.560
<v Speaker 2>best thing for me at that stage was actually the stop.

0:53:11.760 --> 0:53:15.400
<v Speaker 2>And this is interesting Harps as far as having a

0:53:15.600 --> 0:53:17.680
<v Speaker 2>career and a life outside of just being a runner.

0:53:18.080 --> 0:53:21.920
<v Speaker 2>Mental toughness is misconstrued as just being about resilience and

0:53:22.000 --> 0:53:25.799
<v Speaker 2>grips and hardiness and all those construct William Wallace.

0:53:25.520 --> 0:53:26.880
<v Speaker 1>But they won't take our freedom.

0:53:27.239 --> 0:53:31.319
<v Speaker 2>He charged or she charged through fiery furnace and save

0:53:31.480 --> 0:53:36.120
<v Speaker 2>the people and the children. But mental toughness. The other

0:53:36.160 --> 0:53:39.000
<v Speaker 2>side of mental toughness is knowing when to give up,

0:53:39.239 --> 0:53:42.080
<v Speaker 2>because that frees you up to go into other areas.

0:53:42.960 --> 0:53:45.239
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I would reframe it. I wouldn't say giving up.

0:53:46.239 --> 0:53:50.600
<v Speaker 1>I think I know what you're saying, but I would

0:53:50.600 --> 0:53:56.880
<v Speaker 1>be like, yeah, doesn't have the same kind of feel

0:53:56.880 --> 0:54:00.239
<v Speaker 1>for me anymore. It's not that important anymore. It doesn't

0:54:00.320 --> 0:54:03.000
<v Speaker 1>matter to me enough. It did matter a lot once,

0:54:03.120 --> 0:54:06.520
<v Speaker 1>it doesn't now. When I do a cost benefit analysis

0:54:06.600 --> 0:54:09.920
<v Speaker 1>on how much I need to invest in this to

0:54:10.040 --> 0:54:12.960
<v Speaker 1>potentially maybe move the needle a little bit, and what

0:54:13.040 --> 0:54:17.279
<v Speaker 1>the outcome or the benefit might be, it's really not

0:54:17.440 --> 0:54:20.560
<v Speaker 1>worth it. Like I walked away from personal training and

0:54:21.080 --> 0:54:24.160
<v Speaker 1>I was pretty good at it, and I could charge

0:54:24.200 --> 0:54:27.759
<v Speaker 1>stupid money, but it's not It had its I think

0:54:27.960 --> 0:54:30.520
<v Speaker 1>things have a use by date, mate. I feel like

0:54:31.360 --> 0:54:34.359
<v Speaker 1>they have a psychological and emotional used by date for us.

0:54:34.400 --> 0:54:36.319
<v Speaker 1>Where I go that used to blow my socks off,

0:54:36.320 --> 0:54:39.479
<v Speaker 1>it doesn't anymore. That doesn't mean everything's got to blow

0:54:39.520 --> 0:54:42.400
<v Speaker 1>my socks off that I do. But if I'm talking about,

0:54:42.440 --> 0:54:44.120
<v Speaker 1>you know, what's going to keep me in the game

0:54:44.160 --> 0:54:47.800
<v Speaker 1>and excited and a bit focused and all of that stuff,

0:54:48.320 --> 0:54:51.200
<v Speaker 1>then you know it's got to be something that I

0:54:51.320 --> 0:54:55.160
<v Speaker 1>really want to be pursuing. But the other side of that,

0:54:55.239 --> 0:54:57.000
<v Speaker 1>of course, is you know, well, what are the things

0:54:57.000 --> 0:54:59.719
<v Speaker 1>that I need to do to, for example, be a

0:54:59.719 --> 0:55:03.319
<v Speaker 1>good so to look after my Well, that's just not

0:55:03.440 --> 0:55:06.120
<v Speaker 1>about me. That's not about what I want. That's about

0:55:06.120 --> 0:55:08.239
<v Speaker 1>what I need to do to meet my mum and

0:55:08.320 --> 0:55:11.520
<v Speaker 1>dad's needs. Right. But I think if we're talking more

0:55:11.560 --> 0:55:13.560
<v Speaker 1>from a career point of view or a trying to

0:55:13.560 --> 0:55:16.640
<v Speaker 1>become an Olympic runner point of view, or I think,

0:55:16.680 --> 0:55:19.040
<v Speaker 1>you know, I think we have this innate knowledge and

0:55:19.080 --> 0:55:21.799
<v Speaker 1>wisdom that we go no, mate, that's you're probably not

0:55:21.840 --> 0:55:24.319
<v Speaker 1>going to run sub four minutes, or you might, but

0:55:24.360 --> 0:55:27.239
<v Speaker 1>it could take you five years, and whether or not

0:55:27.320 --> 0:55:30.360
<v Speaker 1>that is the best investment of five years, you probably

0:55:30.440 --> 0:55:31.120
<v Speaker 1>know it's not.

0:55:32.719 --> 0:55:37.080
<v Speaker 2>And do you have that grit duckworth definition perseverance and

0:55:37.120 --> 0:55:41.000
<v Speaker 2>passion And I found I had neither. I think that's

0:55:41.040 --> 0:55:43.239
<v Speaker 2>a good filter to run like if you really want

0:55:43.280 --> 0:55:46.400
<v Speaker 2>to go hard and keep going, are you passionate about it?

0:55:46.480 --> 0:55:49.040
<v Speaker 2>Do you think you can continue to persevere? So rather

0:55:49.080 --> 0:55:51.760
<v Speaker 2>than giving up. I like that that correction on the words.

0:55:51.800 --> 0:55:54.160
<v Speaker 2>It's more around a pivot or an evolution to what's next.

0:55:54.840 --> 0:55:58.799
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean like if I said to you, I

0:55:58.840 --> 0:56:00.440
<v Speaker 1>actually don't know what the answers got to be. I

0:56:00.480 --> 0:56:04.239
<v Speaker 1>think I do. Somebody asked me this years ago, and

0:56:04.320 --> 0:56:07.279
<v Speaker 1>I answered straight away, and they're like, really, I go absolutely,

0:56:07.400 --> 0:56:10.480
<v Speaker 1>And they said, okay, so tonight you can talk to

0:56:10.520 --> 0:56:13.560
<v Speaker 1>one hundred people and you're going to get paid twenty grand,

0:56:14.600 --> 0:56:17.480
<v Speaker 1>or over the road at Rod Laver Arena, you can

0:56:17.520 --> 0:56:20.000
<v Speaker 1>talk to ten thousand people for free. What do you choose?

0:56:20.000 --> 0:56:23.040
<v Speaker 1>I go, Rod Laver Arena. I go, but I want

0:56:23.040 --> 0:56:25.000
<v Speaker 1>three or four hours with them, not a I don't

0:56:25.000 --> 0:56:29.360
<v Speaker 1>want to do a keynote because and even let's say,

0:56:29.480 --> 0:56:32.600
<v Speaker 1>and by the way, there's zero chance Craig, that following

0:56:32.640 --> 0:56:34.840
<v Speaker 1>that three or four hours with those ten thousand people,

0:56:34.840 --> 0:56:38.440
<v Speaker 1>that there's any commercial benefit for you, right, I'm like, yes,

0:56:38.920 --> 0:56:42.400
<v Speaker 1>I don't want anything, just time with those people me

0:56:42.600 --> 0:56:45.000
<v Speaker 1>now where I am and back then, That's what I

0:56:45.000 --> 0:56:49.359
<v Speaker 1>would choose because that's just the for me. That's the

0:56:49.480 --> 0:56:52.640
<v Speaker 1>currency that matters. And I know that sounds cheesy, but

0:56:53.120 --> 0:56:54.680
<v Speaker 1>and yes, you've got to pay the bills, and you've

0:56:54.680 --> 0:56:56.080
<v Speaker 1>got to feed the kids, and you've got to pay

0:56:56.120 --> 0:56:57.759
<v Speaker 1>for school fees, and you've got to put gas in

0:56:57.800 --> 0:56:59.759
<v Speaker 1>the car, and I get it, and of course those

0:56:59.760 --> 0:57:03.960
<v Speaker 1>things matter. And of course I am privileged. I realize

0:57:03.960 --> 0:57:07.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm privileged and lucky or blessed or whatever you want

0:57:07.040 --> 0:57:09.919
<v Speaker 1>to call it, that I'm in a position where it's

0:57:09.960 --> 0:57:13.080
<v Speaker 1>not weak to weak desperate kind of finances, you know.

0:57:13.880 --> 0:57:16.360
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, that's how much I love this. And when

0:57:16.400 --> 0:57:19.680
<v Speaker 1>I met you all those years ago, and again this

0:57:19.720 --> 0:57:23.880
<v Speaker 1>sounds like bullshit, but I realized really early that if

0:57:23.880 --> 0:57:26.200
<v Speaker 1>I was selfish, one, I wasn't a great person to

0:57:26.200 --> 0:57:28.959
<v Speaker 1>be around. Two, I didn't like me. And the best

0:57:29.040 --> 0:57:31.400
<v Speaker 1>version of me is the version of me that wants

0:57:31.480 --> 0:57:33.920
<v Speaker 1>you to be great for no reason other than I

0:57:33.960 --> 0:57:36.800
<v Speaker 1>want you to be great. I want you to succeed.

0:57:37.040 --> 0:57:40.320
<v Speaker 1>Even if I fail, I want you to succeed. And

0:57:41.120 --> 0:57:42.880
<v Speaker 1>you know, there's a thing, there's a term, here's a

0:57:43.000 --> 0:57:45.479
<v Speaker 1>term for you. You've taught me, what t you taught

0:57:45.520 --> 0:57:48.920
<v Speaker 1>me inspirare today I wrote it down. I'm teaching you one.

0:57:48.960 --> 0:57:50.920
<v Speaker 1>It's called sharden freuder. Have you heard that?

0:57:51.320 --> 0:57:53.080
<v Speaker 2>The opposite that would be mitfreuder.

0:57:55.120 --> 0:57:56.040
<v Speaker 1>I don't know what that is.

0:57:56.960 --> 0:58:02.120
<v Speaker 2>Shaden Freuder is pleasure through other people's misery. Yes, mitfreuder

0:58:03.040 --> 0:58:06.600
<v Speaker 2>is pleasure through other people's success. You're a mittwell not

0:58:06.640 --> 0:58:07.040
<v Speaker 2>a shark.

0:58:07.160 --> 0:58:09.520
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's me. Wow, you taught me something. Yeah, And

0:58:09.560 --> 0:58:14.840
<v Speaker 1>so for me, that like when I am I'm involved

0:58:14.920 --> 0:58:19.640
<v Speaker 1>in someone's growth or success or happiness. And again this

0:58:19.680 --> 0:58:24.520
<v Speaker 1>sounds selfish, It's like it gives me an experience that

0:58:24.720 --> 0:58:28.480
<v Speaker 1>I can't through doing anything for myself. I can't have that.

0:58:28.920 --> 0:58:31.960
<v Speaker 1>There's nothing I can get that gives me that feeling

0:58:32.560 --> 0:58:35.720
<v Speaker 1>of helping you become amazing, or helping you on your

0:58:35.880 --> 0:58:39.360
<v Speaker 1>supporting you or encouraging you or seeing you do great.

0:58:40.360 --> 0:58:43.400
<v Speaker 1>And I think that like coming full circle and being

0:58:43.400 --> 0:58:45.360
<v Speaker 1>a bit weird and deep. Fuck it, I don't care.

0:58:46.480 --> 0:58:48.440
<v Speaker 1>I got asked on a podcast whose was it? The

0:58:48.480 --> 0:58:51.439
<v Speaker 1>other day? They said, if you if there was if

0:58:51.480 --> 0:58:54.640
<v Speaker 1>everything you've ever said, or ever written, or all the

0:58:54.680 --> 0:58:57.160
<v Speaker 1>stuff that you've put out into the world was deleted,

0:58:57.240 --> 0:59:00.400
<v Speaker 1>and you could leave us with one message, what would

0:59:00.400 --> 0:59:06.400
<v Speaker 1>that message be out of everything and not leaning back

0:59:06.440 --> 0:59:12.440
<v Speaker 1>into anything. I just said, love matters most. And you know,

0:59:12.480 --> 0:59:14.720
<v Speaker 1>I sat with a friend of mine six months ago

0:59:15.320 --> 0:59:19.880
<v Speaker 1>who was essentially my second mum. I loved her very

0:59:20.000 --> 0:59:23.160
<v Speaker 1>very much. She was at death's door. I sat with

0:59:23.200 --> 0:59:27.080
<v Speaker 1>her in hospital and I held her hand for an

0:59:27.120 --> 0:59:29.560
<v Speaker 1>hour and a half and we just spoke. There was

0:59:29.560 --> 0:59:31.560
<v Speaker 1>no one else in the room, and she died about

0:59:31.640 --> 0:59:34.800
<v Speaker 1>forty eight hours later, and I was sitting with her

0:59:36.440 --> 0:59:38.360
<v Speaker 1>and I just, I don't know. I don't know what

0:59:38.400 --> 0:59:40.360
<v Speaker 1>your beliefs are these days. I don't even know what

0:59:40.400 --> 0:59:43.520
<v Speaker 1>mine are. But I'm like, all the rest is bullshit, Craig,

0:59:44.600 --> 0:59:47.200
<v Speaker 1>All the rest is just stories that you tell yourself.

0:59:47.240 --> 0:59:49.520
<v Speaker 1>And it's not all bullshit, of course, But in that moment,

0:59:49.600 --> 0:59:53.040
<v Speaker 1>I went, all I want to do is be here

0:59:53.160 --> 0:59:58.520
<v Speaker 1>and love her, and like, it was the most painful

0:59:58.560 --> 1:00:01.880
<v Speaker 1>and beautiful hour and a half maybe of my life, right,

1:00:02.040 --> 1:00:07.920
<v Speaker 1>And you like, I invest so much emotional and psychological

1:00:08.240 --> 1:00:13.080
<v Speaker 1>energy into stuff that really it's you know, I know

1:00:13.160 --> 1:00:16.400
<v Speaker 1>it's all context dependent, but yeah, I think if we,

1:00:16.680 --> 1:00:18.800
<v Speaker 1>if we could, and I know this isn't the way

1:00:18.800 --> 1:00:21.600
<v Speaker 1>the world works, but imagine if we, for the most part,

1:00:22.880 --> 1:00:25.400
<v Speaker 1>really try to operate from a place of love, and

1:00:25.440 --> 1:00:27.960
<v Speaker 1>I mean real love. I don't mean conditional love. I

1:00:28.000 --> 1:00:32.440
<v Speaker 1>don't mean strategic love, because conditional and strategic love are

1:00:32.440 --> 1:00:36.000
<v Speaker 1>not love. But just where you go. Fuck, I'm happy

1:00:36.000 --> 1:00:38.560
<v Speaker 1>for you. Fuck, I love you. I want you to

1:00:38.600 --> 1:00:41.760
<v Speaker 1>do well. You know for me. That's it. That's it,

1:00:41.840 --> 1:00:46.360
<v Speaker 1>that's that's maybe. That's my answer to what is success.

1:00:47.000 --> 1:00:50.400
<v Speaker 2>We could riff for hours, and we do. I'm going

1:00:50.440 --> 1:00:56.480
<v Speaker 2>to start to close this broad ranging discussion. I appreciate you.

1:00:57.240 --> 1:01:00.840
<v Speaker 2>I really appreciate you. I really appreciate your message and

1:01:00.880 --> 1:01:04.000
<v Speaker 2>the learnings I have had and continue to have from you.

1:01:05.240 --> 1:01:08.840
<v Speaker 2>And I appreciate the relationship and the connection we have.

1:01:08.960 --> 1:01:12.160
<v Speaker 2>And I even reflect on today it is the five

1:01:12.240 --> 1:01:15.960
<v Speaker 2>deeds of dodgeball, dodge, duck, dive, dip, and dodge. We

1:01:16.040 --> 1:01:19.360
<v Speaker 2>have talked about everything today, from meta cognition and transcendence

1:01:19.960 --> 1:01:23.800
<v Speaker 2>right through to erect old dysfunction ads. I'm still cracking

1:01:23.880 --> 1:01:26.600
<v Speaker 2>up about the look on your face thing, shiny heads

1:01:26.600 --> 1:01:29.200
<v Speaker 2>putting at it. He didn't even tell me, oh idiot.

1:01:30.800 --> 1:01:32.680
<v Speaker 2>And the worst part is some people will go the

1:01:32.920 --> 1:01:38.120
<v Speaker 2>ED stuff was the best. Well, it's range. David Epstein, Right,

1:01:38.240 --> 1:01:41.360
<v Speaker 2>you need range, but I genuinely mean that I appreciate you.

1:01:42.040 --> 1:01:44.400
<v Speaker 2>I appreciate what I learn from you and what you

1:01:44.440 --> 1:01:47.160
<v Speaker 2>give to the world, and I appreciate our friendship and

1:01:47.200 --> 1:01:49.680
<v Speaker 2>the love that you bring to everything you do. So

1:01:49.720 --> 1:01:53.480
<v Speaker 2>those those three words, those very simple words, which is

1:01:53.520 --> 1:01:57.520
<v Speaker 2>really deep and complicated to get so simple. You're on

1:01:57.600 --> 1:01:59.640
<v Speaker 2>brand mate, Thanks mate, I.

1:01:59.640 --> 1:02:03.040
<v Speaker 1>Appreciate you, love you, care about you, happy that you're

1:02:03.120 --> 1:02:07.320
<v Speaker 1>killing it, and that you're doing stuff that's impacting people

1:02:07.360 --> 1:02:10.760
<v Speaker 1>in a great way. So go you. Hey listeners, you

1:02:10.800 --> 1:02:14.000
<v Speaker 1>didn't expect this love festige your fucking hell. You probably

1:02:14.040 --> 1:02:15.720
<v Speaker 1>need to go take a shower after this.

1:02:16.080 --> 1:02:18.760
<v Speaker 2>If we're in the airport, we'd be hugging and having

1:02:19.040 --> 1:02:20.200
<v Speaker 2>a bit of a moment.

1:02:20.240 --> 1:02:23.040
<v Speaker 1>We definitely would know. Mate, you're great, love you, thank

1:02:23.080 --> 1:02:24.160
<v Speaker 1>you so much for having me.

1:02:24.240 --> 1:02:26.760
<v Speaker 2>And overnight success doesn't happen, right. You can have a meme,

1:02:26.880 --> 1:02:28.200
<v Speaker 2>or you can become a meme, you can have a

1:02:28.280 --> 1:02:33.040
<v Speaker 2>viral hit, But the fundamental message to finishes twofold love

1:02:33.160 --> 1:02:36.080
<v Speaker 2>and connection. That's a little bonus that's come out of this.

1:02:36.800 --> 1:02:39.360
<v Speaker 2>But to be successful, you've got to do the hard yards.

1:02:39.400 --> 1:02:41.360
<v Speaker 2>It doesn't mean it has to be really difficult, but

1:02:41.360 --> 1:02:43.760
<v Speaker 2>you've just got to be patient, have a long range

1:02:43.840 --> 1:02:45.080
<v Speaker 2>view and enjoy it along the way.

1:02:46.280 --> 1:02:49.800
<v Speaker 1>What he said, love your brother so you might