WEBVTT - Missy Higgins Reveals the True Meaning Behind Her Song ‘Scar’ 0:00:01.600 --> 0:00:02.880 Get the way morning every day. 0:00:07.000 --> 0:00:10.039 Our next guest started playing the piano age just six, 0:00:10.119 --> 0:00:12.880 and her first folk rock band was called The Waifs. 0:00:13.200 --> 0:00:16.000 Young girls everywhere discovered themselves to the tune of Scar 0:00:16.280 --> 0:00:19.800 and Where I Stood, and she inspired a million copycat 0:00:19.800 --> 0:00:22.560 pixie cuts. She's about to be inducted into the twenty 0:00:22.640 --> 0:00:25.720 twenty four ARIA Hall of Fame. Please welcome to Joni 0:00:25.760 --> 0:00:29.360 and Hazy Melissa Morrison Higgins. 0:00:29.120 --> 0:00:30.760 Mister Higgins, welcome to the show. 0:00:30.960 --> 0:00:32.159 Thank you, thanks for having me. 0:00:32.320 --> 0:00:35.440 The big news for you is the Aria Hall of 0:00:35.479 --> 0:00:38.960 Fame in twenty twenty four. How incredible. What does that 0:00:39.040 --> 0:00:39.680 mean to you? 0:00:40.040 --> 0:00:42.839 Yeah, it is incredible. I'm a bit in shock, to 0:00:42.840 --> 0:00:43.320 be honest. 0:00:43.440 --> 0:00:47.800 Yeah, I just I'm just honored, just so incredibly honored that, 0:00:48.760 --> 0:00:52.120 you know, my body of work has been recognized in 0:00:52.159 --> 0:00:56.000 this way, and I'm honored that my criteria meets that 0:00:56.160 --> 0:00:58.840 of somebody that's worthy of being inducted into the Hall 0:00:58.880 --> 0:01:02.120 of Fame. I mean, I'm an incredible company when I 0:01:02.160 --> 0:01:05.880 see all the other people who've been inducted over the years. 0:01:05.920 --> 0:01:07.520 He's a fun fact for you. Might not know you 0:01:07.520 --> 0:01:10.360 were the first artist played on Nov. Nine or nine 0:01:10.360 --> 0:01:13.200 when we launched twenty years ago. Have listened this is 0:01:13.200 --> 0:01:15.200 you playing SCA live in our studios? 0:01:15.280 --> 0:01:19.480 And doesn't that sound familarion? Doesn't that need to close time? 0:01:20.040 --> 0:01:23.720 Doesn't that make a shiver the way things caught a gone? 0:01:24.600 --> 0:01:26.120 Doesn't I feel peculiar? 0:01:26.920 --> 0:01:30.200 Everyone wants to lead more so that I too, when 0:01:30.280 --> 0:01:32.360 them to never go that? 0:01:32.600 --> 0:01:32.919 Fine? 0:01:33.240 --> 0:01:35.760 Could you leave me with the scar? 0:01:37.680 --> 0:01:39.000 Do you remember that? 0:01:39.000 --> 0:01:41.640 That's pretty cool? So the very first person you played 0:01:41.680 --> 0:01:43.040 on the radio station, that's amazing. 0:01:43.080 --> 0:01:43.559 I'm believing. 0:01:43.600 --> 0:01:44.480 Oh, that's so cool. 0:01:44.760 --> 0:01:47.880 Yeah, I didn't know that. Speaking of that song, I've 0:01:48.000 --> 0:01:50.160 read like a lot of stuff on the internet about 0:01:50.160 --> 0:01:52.520 people trying to get to the bottom of what that 0:01:52.680 --> 0:01:55.760 song is about, Like people are almost obsessed. Is there 0:01:55.800 --> 0:01:59.240 a simple explanation for it? And people just overthinking it? Oh? 0:01:59.320 --> 0:02:02.480 I wrote it out to co writers that I worked 0:02:02.560 --> 0:02:05.920 with in America because with my first album, the record 0:02:06.080 --> 0:02:08.280 American record company wanted to set me up with a 0:02:08.320 --> 0:02:11.480 heap of songwriters. Yeah, and I'd never done that before. 0:02:11.560 --> 0:02:13.320 So I went over there and it was a really 0:02:13.360 --> 0:02:16.680 crappy experience because with the guy, you know, he was 0:02:16.720 --> 0:02:20.240 really trying to turn me into this teen pop idol 0:02:20.360 --> 0:02:22.760 kind of singer, and I wasn't you know, he was 0:02:22.760 --> 0:02:24.680 trying to change my songs. He was trying to change 0:02:24.680 --> 0:02:27.280 my lyrics. And then the women did the same thing. 0:02:27.480 --> 0:02:29.920 She kind of it was just a bit. It was 0:02:30.080 --> 0:02:32.200 just a bit yucky working with them, and I didn't 0:02:32.400 --> 0:02:36.160 feel like it was we were making true art, and 0:02:36.200 --> 0:02:37.960 it felt like we were just trying to make stuff 0:02:38.000 --> 0:02:41.880 to sell rather than good, good quality music. And I 0:02:41.919 --> 0:02:44.079 wanted to write that song to kind of remember, try 0:02:44.120 --> 0:02:46.840 and remind myself in the future to trust myself and 0:02:46.880 --> 0:02:48.960 sort of trust to trust my own abilities. 0:02:49.200 --> 0:02:50.840 I was saying to you, of father. I listened to 0:02:50.880 --> 0:02:54.320 your podcast and on The Imperfects, which is a brilliant podcast, 0:02:54.360 --> 0:02:56.120 and you spoke a little bit about your time in 0:02:56.160 --> 0:02:58.800 the US and periods I guess a little bouts of 0:02:58.800 --> 0:03:02.360 depression that you've had and some anxiety. And where are 0:03:02.360 --> 0:03:04.640 you at now in your career. Are you in a 0:03:04.720 --> 0:03:05.840 content place? 0:03:06.280 --> 0:03:07.440 Yeah, yeah, I am. 0:03:07.560 --> 0:03:09.920 I think I went through a real phase in my 0:03:10.000 --> 0:03:14.000 twenties where I was a bit disillusioned with the whole industry. 0:03:14.080 --> 0:03:17.800 And I think it was in particular because i'd just 0:03:17.880 --> 0:03:19.800 i'd gone over to America and I was signed to 0:03:19.800 --> 0:03:22.440 this major label, and they were just they were working 0:03:22.520 --> 0:03:25.680 me to the bone, and they were so obsessed with 0:03:25.880 --> 0:03:28.920 selling unit getting me on the chart, which is fine 0:03:28.960 --> 0:03:31.160 in and of itself, but there was so much focus 0:03:31.200 --> 0:03:33.600 on that there wasn't any They didn't look out for 0:03:33.639 --> 0:03:35.760 my well being, and they didn't really listen to me 0:03:35.880 --> 0:03:38.480 when I was saying that I was getting burnt out 0:03:38.600 --> 0:03:41.640 and needed a break, and I don't know, it was just, 0:03:41.840 --> 0:03:43.880 it was just I'd become a bit of a cog 0:03:43.880 --> 0:03:46.200 in the machine, and so I took a massive break 0:03:46.200 --> 0:03:48.800 from music and it took me a long time to 0:03:48.800 --> 0:03:50.839 come back. But when I came back, I came back 0:03:50.880 --> 0:03:53.840 on my own terms, and I came back with a 0:03:53.960 --> 0:03:57.440 very strong and clear idea of what my priorities were. 0:03:57.480 --> 0:04:00.120 And my priority was number one, to make sure that 0:04:00.240 --> 0:04:03.120 I was only doing music for the right reason. 0:04:03.280 --> 0:04:06.240 Don't you feel like that's the absolute beauty of growing 0:04:06.240 --> 0:04:08.640 older as a woman, because you come into your own 0:04:08.720 --> 0:04:11.440 and you start to realize you're worth in whatever industry 0:04:11.480 --> 0:04:13.960 you're in, and you start to develop your own boundaries 0:04:14.520 --> 0:04:17.120 and you start to discover your authentic self. I know 0:04:17.160 --> 0:04:21.240 this is getting quite deep, but that's my favorite part 0:04:21.320 --> 0:04:23.679 about growing older. I don't know if you feel the same. 0:04:23.880 --> 0:04:28.080 Yeah, I think so. Yeah, like having more confidence to 0:04:28.279 --> 0:04:31.520 speak up and more of a kind of secure knowledge 0:04:31.560 --> 0:04:35.160 that it's okay to say that you're not happy with something, 0:04:35.480 --> 0:04:37.800 or that it's okay to say no, it's okay to 0:04:37.839 --> 0:04:41.040 disappoint people. Yeah, and also that you're never going to 0:04:41.080 --> 0:04:43.359 be liked by everyone, and that's okay. 0:04:43.480 --> 0:04:45.080 I think you've done a pretty good job of being 0:04:45.200 --> 0:04:48.280 universally liked for both who you are and for your music. 0:04:48.360 --> 0:04:50.120 You are coming to South Australia for a day on 0:04:50.160 --> 0:04:52.760 the Green. It's at Peter Lemon Winesbarossa Valley on Saturday, 0:04:52.760 --> 0:04:55.640 December seven. It's called the Second Act to It celebrates 0:04:55.720 --> 0:04:59.159 the twentieth anniversary of your debut album, The Sound of 0:04:59.200 --> 0:05:01.320 Why Me See Here. Bigan's an absolute joy and a 0:05:01.360 --> 0:05:03.359 pleasure to speak to you. Thank you so much for 0:05:03.400 --> 0:05:05.520 continuing to bring us beautiful music. 0:05:05.600 --> 0:05:08.479 No worries, thank you, thanks for having me showed. So. 0:05:08.520 --> 0:05:10.400 I'm not sure about you, but growing up as a 0:05:10.440 --> 0:05:13.680 youngster sometimes we were edumicated by films and some of 0:05:13.720 --> 0:05:15.360 the things that we saw on films, and I'm talking 0:05:15.440 --> 0:05:16.800 about sex. 0:05:17.040 --> 0:05:19.280 Yeah, sort of having a chat with the parents. That's 0:05:19.279 --> 0:05:20.640 where you turned to the television. 0:05:20.680 --> 0:05:22.560 But they didn't want to do that. They did not 0:05:22.640 --> 0:05:23.080 want to do that. 0:05:23.279 --> 0:05:24.760 I don't want to have that awkward conversation. 0:05:24.800 --> 0:05:25.560 Do you want to do that? 0:05:25.600 --> 0:05:26.760 I don't want to do that right now. 0:05:27.279 --> 0:05:30.960 I still don't know exactly what's going on. 0:05:31.040 --> 0:05:32.320 You've had three kids, you know what you're doing. 0:05:32.360 --> 0:05:35.200 I have about this for A study revealed that viewers 0:05:35.279 --> 0:05:39.280 age ten to twenty four, that's gen Z, prefer less 0:05:39.839 --> 0:05:44.120 sex on screen, oh, with fifty one percent more, with 0:05:44.240 --> 0:05:49.800 fifty one percent wanting more content about platonic relationships and friendships. Additionally, 0:05:49.880 --> 0:05:53.159 forty seven and a half percent believe sex is unnecessary 0:05:53.440 --> 0:05:58.520 in most TV shows and movies. Now, Zoe is gen Z? 0:05:59.360 --> 0:06:01.480 Just what's what's going on? Actually? 0:06:01.640 --> 0:06:02.000 Quite why? 0:06:02.080 --> 0:06:02.520 Less sex? 0:06:03.080 --> 0:06:06.400 But now that you say that, I actually agree with that. 0:06:07.360 --> 0:06:09.159 Well, who are these young people that don't want to 0:06:09.320 --> 0:06:10.839 watch people getting it on on the screen? 0:06:10.880 --> 0:06:11.240 I don't know. 0:06:11.240 --> 0:06:12.920 I just can't you tell about a story without just 0:06:12.960 --> 0:06:13.720 getting your gear off? 0:06:13.800 --> 0:06:13.840 No? 0:06:14.240 --> 0:06:20.800 No, because everything in every situation, eventually, particularly from a 0:06:20.880 --> 0:06:24.120 mind's man a man's mindset, is leading to that moment. 0:06:24.160 --> 0:06:26.040 Particularly, Yeah, that's why we do everything. 0:06:26.560 --> 0:06:29.599 That's what's what is that? What it's all about all 0:06:29.680 --> 0:06:30.200 of the time? 0:06:30.320 --> 0:06:33.760 Because I did see a famous commedity and said, let's 0:06:33.760 --> 0:06:36.880 be realistically, for a man, if it wasn't for trying 0:06:36.880 --> 0:06:38.760 to get to that goal, we'd live in a cardboard 0:06:38.800 --> 0:06:39.360 box box. 0:06:39.400 --> 0:06:41.080 When I care, Oh, do you want to say on 0:06:41.080 --> 0:06:41.360 that again? 0:06:41.360 --> 0:06:42.840 Because fuck me dead, I can't. 0:06:42.880 --> 0:06:46.680 Thought we should don't start again, seriously, no, no, not 0:06:46.720 --> 0:06:47.320 starting against. 0:06:51.040 --> 0:06:54.000 I saw a famous comedy once and he said that 0:06:54.040 --> 0:06:56.719 if it wasn't for that the end result, we'd be 0:06:56.760 --> 0:06:58.760 more than content just to live in a cardboard box. 0:06:59.640 --> 0:07:00.520 That's just to be sad. 0:07:00.600 --> 0:07:01.479 Probably that makes sense. 0:07:01.520 --> 0:07:03.440 So if you really analyze us, though, wasn't it. 0:07:03.400 --> 0:07:06.440 What was that really weird series that was on that 0:07:06.800 --> 0:07:09.120 that we were made to watch here at Nova? Can 0:07:09.160 --> 0:07:11.640 you remember? And that I wish there was les less 0:07:11.680 --> 0:07:12.000 of that. 0:07:12.080 --> 0:07:13.960 Or that, Oh my gosh, when we made you watch 0:07:13.960 --> 0:07:14.680 Saltburn Ye. 0:07:15.560 --> 0:07:18.720 Oh my gosh, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm 0:07:18.800 --> 0:07:19.200 talking about. 0:07:19.280 --> 0:07:22.360 Let's go back to nineteen ninety nine and American Pie, 0:07:23.000 --> 0:07:25.440 one of the great movies right in the prime of 0:07:25.520 --> 0:07:28.880 my adolescence, and Jim and Nadia got down and dirty 0:07:28.960 --> 0:07:31.560 and let's just call Nadia a bit of a goddesses, 0:07:31.760 --> 0:07:35.760 and Jim and up and coming young Andrew who he's 0:07:35.800 --> 0:07:38.080 in the prime of his adolescence, who doesn't know what 0:07:38.120 --> 0:07:43.119 he's doing. He's Andrew hasty Jim. 0:07:42.440 --> 0:07:48.040 Oh no, oh no, I'm. 0:07:47.960 --> 0:07:49.240 Not done, Nutty, I have. 0:07:50.840 --> 0:08:00.880 I've got reserves, Nudy, I'm begging you again, not again. 0:08:01.080 --> 0:08:05.600 Man, you're looking blankly. 0:08:05.760 --> 0:08:08.480 You've seen America doesn't. 0:08:08.160 --> 0:08:10.200 Tell you a few life lessons, and I don't know 0:08:10.280 --> 0:08:10.720 what does. 0:08:10.960 --> 0:08:15.440 Yeah, I mean, look, we could probably do with less 0:08:15.440 --> 0:08:18.560 of Jim. Jim's performance was very underwhelming. 0:08:18.760 --> 0:08:20.440 Even more of Jim inspire you. 0:08:22.160 --> 0:08:24.320 What I will say is not much has changed since 0:08:24.320 --> 0:08:29.640 that day. But ladies and gentlemen, three kids. 0:08:30.200 --> 0:08:32.120 I mean that we can see quickly the kids. 0:08:32.160 --> 0:08:35.600 Nonetheless, the extended version was I've got extra, extra, extra. 0:08:38.360 --> 0:08:47.160 Looseless. 0:08:45.320 --> 0:08:49.000 And Joe's as aggressive as this gets. Sometimes it is 0:08:49.000 --> 0:08:50.200 actually helping exercise. 0:08:50.880 --> 0:08:53.520 Has it helped me with my everyday listening? So far? 0:08:54.080 --> 0:08:55.000 Yes? I think it has. 0:08:55.200 --> 0:08:57.920 Okay, put your hand on if you've noticed a significant 0:08:57.920 --> 0:08:59.600 improvement in Jody's listening skills me. 0:09:03.360 --> 0:09:03.920 You put your. 0:09:05.720 --> 0:09:06.760 Because I was listening. 0:09:07.080 --> 0:09:08.080 Oh my gosh. 0:09:08.240 --> 0:09:09.760 All right, So what happens is we're gonna put some 0:09:09.800 --> 0:09:11.120 noise canceling headphones on. 0:09:11.200 --> 0:09:11.800 Joe's yep. 0:09:12.000 --> 0:09:13.880 I'm going to give a few sentences, and she has 0:09:13.920 --> 0:09:16.800 to read my lips, like literally read my lips. 0:09:16.920 --> 0:09:17.079 Yep. 0:09:17.440 --> 0:09:20.120 Okay, Joe's you can do this, okay, So first step 0:09:20.160 --> 0:09:24.080 and first sentence. Up goes the elevated music into Jody's headphone. 0:09:24.120 --> 0:09:31.880 She can't hear it. Confirmation jos has done her little 0:09:31.920 --> 0:09:34.640 thing where she enters a different stratosphere. Here we go, 0:09:36.840 --> 0:09:39.880 first sentence. The duck flies at midnight. 0:09:41.240 --> 0:09:46.520 The fox died in a fight. 0:09:46.880 --> 0:09:50.200 Oh that's kind of close. You're ready. We'll go again. 0:09:50.920 --> 0:09:52.720 The duck flies at midnight. 0:09:53.920 --> 0:09:57.280 The hat is wired at midnight. 0:10:00.760 --> 0:10:03.400 One more quick one. The duck flies at midnight. 0:10:04.040 --> 0:10:05.280 The dot flies at midnight. 0:10:09.400 --> 0:10:13.000 You go, all right, noise canceling headphones off. You can 0:10:13.040 --> 0:10:14.880 hear us now, congratulations, you got. 0:10:17.800 --> 0:10:18.120 All right. 0:10:18.120 --> 0:10:21.200 Here we go, noise canceling headphones back on. Do you 0:10:21.280 --> 0:10:23.360 want to build a snowman? 0:10:23.920 --> 0:10:25.720 Did you take your pill this morning? 0:10:30.679 --> 0:10:31.000 Andrew? 0:10:31.720 --> 0:10:33.360 We don't need any more little hazies. 0:10:35.000 --> 0:10:36.080 Stop veering off course. 0:10:36.200 --> 0:10:38.920 Listen to me, all right, I was canceling headphones still on? 0:10:39.640 --> 0:10:41.280 Do you want to build a snowman? 0:10:42.400 --> 0:10:45.120 Do you want to drink milk in or chopper? Oh? 0:10:46.480 --> 0:10:50.320 Thank you very much? Last time? Do you want to 0:10:50.320 --> 0:10:51.160 build a snowman? 0:10:52.120 --> 0:10:54.960 Oh? Sat again again? Set again? 0:10:55.600 --> 0:10:56.840 Do you want to build a snowman? 0:10:58.320 --> 0:10:59.760 Something about? Do you want to top up? 0:11:03.440 --> 0:11:06.080 Cancer? Phones off? Do you want to build a snowman? 0:11:08.200 --> 0:11:13.800 I did take my feel alright? Last one? Noise cancing 0:11:13.840 --> 0:11:14.400 headphones on? 0:11:14.679 --> 0:11:14.880 Yep. 0:11:16.440 --> 0:11:18.040 I have a fear of buttons. 0:11:20.320 --> 0:11:21.360 You have bestatus. 0:11:26.760 --> 0:11:28.719 I have a fear of buttons. 0:11:29.400 --> 0:11:33.760 You have a fear of buttons. 0:11:40.080 --> 0:11:40.559 From three? 0:11:40.760 --> 0:11:44.400 God, you know what she's getting ever so close to graduating. 0:11:45.480 --> 0:11:48.840 Sometimes I like to peruse Instagram and it can be productive. 0:11:48.920 --> 0:11:51.000 I e. You can come across the list of the 0:11:51.040 --> 0:11:53.640 top nick names for people at work. Yes, you're welcome, 0:11:53.720 --> 0:11:54.160 Here we go. 0:11:56.080 --> 0:11:57.520 I'm sure this will be constructive. 0:11:58.559 --> 0:12:00.760 All right, you ready for these? I'm sure you might 0:12:00.800 --> 0:12:03.800 register in one of them. Okay. Some of the top 0:12:03.880 --> 0:12:06.640 nicknames for the people that you encounter each and every 0:12:06.679 --> 0:12:09.400 day in your workplace. Sense a light? They only work 0:12:09.400 --> 0:12:10.320 if someone walks past. 0:12:13.880 --> 0:12:14.600 Everyone knows. 0:12:15.880 --> 0:12:18.760 Do you know a MasterCard takes credit for other people's work? 0:12:18.840 --> 0:12:21.079 Yes? Yes, absolutely, And a lot of people in this 0:12:21.200 --> 0:12:22.000 team that do that. 0:12:24.160 --> 0:12:28.200 Of them? What about a Shania doesn't impress you much? 0:12:30.600 --> 0:12:33.360 Is a good one? Jetster usually later or doesn't show 0:12:33.440 --> 0:12:33.800 up at all? 0:12:34.080 --> 0:12:34.440 Very good? 0:12:35.960 --> 0:12:39.200 What are Oh? We all know Google's thinks they know everything. 0:12:39.480 --> 0:12:40.679 Oh my god, there's one of. 0:12:40.600 --> 0:12:43.880 Those, My god, just one in every single workplace. 0:12:44.280 --> 0:12:51.160 Kim Jong only got the job because the dad and 0:12:51.200 --> 0:12:53.440 who doesn't know a boomgate. You can't get past them 0:12:53.480 --> 0:12:54.160 without a chat. 0:12:55.720 --> 0:12:57.679 In the same chat, your brain goes in the space 0:12:57.679 --> 0:12:59.120 where it's the same stuff every time. 0:12:59.520 --> 0:13:02.240 Do you know what floats around and does air fall? 0:13:02.720 --> 0:13:02.960 Yes? 0:13:04.160 --> 0:13:05.760 I thought the extension of that as well, but also 0:13:05.800 --> 0:13:08.200 smells like pook. 0:13:09.960 --> 0:13:11.920 Everyone knows a paper straw as well. They work for 0:13:11.920 --> 0:13:13.120 two minutes and then break down. 0:13:16.200 --> 0:13:18.480 For you, it's emotional thing. Oh, here we go for you. 0:13:18.520 --> 0:13:21.880 I've come up with a I've come up with an 0:13:22.559 --> 0:13:25.400 endearing term for my work colleague. I'm going to call 0:13:25.440 --> 0:13:28.520 you squirrel because you've always got your hand. 0:13:28.320 --> 0:13:36.400 On some nuts. 0:13:40.640 --> 0:13:42.960 You actually, it's some that you know about some that 0:13:43.000 --> 0:13:44.920 you don't. We do call you, you know that. We 0:13:44.960 --> 0:13:48.719 call you the chameleon because the eyes dart off in 0:13:48.760 --> 0:13:53.199 different directions. Also, we call you et because you always 0:13:53.200 --> 0:14:00.440 want to go hunt and finally something we call you 0:14:00.760 --> 0:14:02.679 behind your back, and I'm ready to bring it to 0:14:02.760 --> 0:14:04.880 light now, is it? Sometimes we call you four skid 0:14:05.120 --> 0:14:10.760 because you disappear when things get hard. 0:14:12.320 --> 0:14:16.000 I am so curious about something this week, and so 0:14:16.160 --> 0:14:18.960 is producer Zoe. By the way, us girls as a 0:14:19.160 --> 0:14:22.680 whole species as curious about this. I was listening to 0:14:22.720 --> 0:14:24.520 a podcast that I'm a massive fan of called The 0:14:24.520 --> 0:14:27.680 imperfect I would encourage everyone to have a listen to 0:14:27.680 --> 0:14:31.400 it because it makes us better as human beings. Anyway, 0:14:31.920 --> 0:14:33.600 you know The Inspired Unemployed. 0:14:33.960 --> 0:14:37.240 Yes, these two blokes in particular, yeah, Jack and Falcon. 0:14:37.640 --> 0:14:39.920 They might be the most popular blokes in this country 0:14:39.960 --> 0:14:40.360 at the moment. 0:14:41.080 --> 0:14:44.400 Bunch of trades basically who started putting together all these skits. 0:14:44.440 --> 0:14:47.280 They went nuts on Instagram and on TikTok and everything. 0:14:48.480 --> 0:14:50.240 He was on The Imperfects and he was talking about 0:14:50.240 --> 0:14:53.520 his anxiety and he's partying too hard and a whole 0:14:53.560 --> 0:14:55.720 host of things. But one thing that piqued my interest 0:14:55.760 --> 0:14:59.240 at the end of it was he was talking about 0:14:59.280 --> 0:15:02.360 saying I love you to his best mate Falcon. And 0:15:02.400 --> 0:15:06.880 there was this whole discussion around blokes not saying I 0:15:06.920 --> 0:15:08.720 love you to their friends have a listen. 0:15:09.360 --> 0:15:11.240 Because you can say I love you, love your brother 0:15:11.360 --> 0:15:13.320 and see you're on your way. That's not really it's 0:15:13.360 --> 0:15:15.080 not the real thing. That's not the real thing, you know, 0:15:15.160 --> 0:15:17.240 and it is. How hard is it just to tell? 0:15:17.400 --> 0:15:19.680 I mean, if I had a near car crash when 0:15:19.680 --> 0:15:23.240 I left this podcast room, I would tell Falcon dude, 0:15:23.240 --> 0:15:25.400 I'm so lucky to have you, like, thank you so much. 0:15:25.440 --> 0:15:27.520 How easy is that to say that? I just wouldn't 0:15:27.560 --> 0:15:29.320 do it. Most people just avoid that. 0:15:30.120 --> 0:15:34.160 This is a space where men and women are wide 0:15:34.520 --> 0:15:35.440 so different. 0:15:35.440 --> 0:15:38.520 Yeah, so differently, so I guess Zoe, from our point 0:15:38.520 --> 0:15:41.120 of view, we will absolutely like I tell them pretty 0:15:41.200 --> 0:15:43.480 much every time I hang up the phone to my 0:15:43.560 --> 0:15:46.560 close friends, say I love you boo or you know whatever. 0:15:46.680 --> 0:15:49.440 It might be. Might sound throw away, but it's not, yeah, 0:15:49.520 --> 0:15:52.280 because the intention I think for women is to tell 0:15:52.320 --> 0:15:54.120 other women you mean the world to me, and I 0:15:54.160 --> 0:15:55.280 do love you absolutely. 0:15:55.360 --> 0:15:55.560 Yeah. 0:15:55.560 --> 0:15:57.120 My best friend lives into state and we don't have 0:15:57.160 --> 0:15:58.720 a phone call without saying I love you at the end. 0:15:58.840 --> 0:15:59.120 Yeah. 0:15:59.360 --> 0:16:00.840 I did the same with my mum, which I'm sure 0:16:00.880 --> 0:16:02.880 is more common in your family. But yeah, I'll tell 0:16:02.920 --> 0:16:06.120 my girlfriends all the time. And my best house mate ed, Yeah, 0:16:06.160 --> 0:16:08.200 I'll tell him that I love him all the time. Yeah, yeah, 0:16:08.200 --> 0:16:08.920 I think it's important. 0:16:09.240 --> 0:16:11.600 Okay, here we go and we do this in check 0:16:11.640 --> 0:16:19.160 chat Andrew the spotlight on. You're always there here if 0:16:19.160 --> 0:16:19.960 you need to hear, if. 0:16:19.840 --> 0:16:22.960 You need well, I'm always on the bench. 0:16:22.760 --> 0:16:25.600 Though in this space we need you. Do you say 0:16:26.120 --> 0:16:28.680 I love you to your closest guy friends? 0:16:29.120 --> 0:16:31.200 I probably no, I don't know. I don't really and 0:16:31.200 --> 0:16:31.600 do you know what? 0:16:31.680 --> 0:16:33.840 And sometimes and I will if someone says it to me, 0:16:34.000 --> 0:16:36.440 But I just I think, is it part of it? 0:16:36.480 --> 0:16:37.280 A fear of rejection? 0:16:37.920 --> 0:16:38.200 Is it? 0:16:38.360 --> 0:16:39.160 Like I don't know. 0:16:40.960 --> 0:16:42.520 You're telling this story, is it? 0:16:42.920 --> 0:16:45.720 I think it probably is because we're very proud people 0:16:45.840 --> 0:16:48.680 are men and I sort of and I we'll name 0:16:48.760 --> 0:16:51.560 him right now, bloke called Robie Cornswait. He works at 0:16:51.600 --> 0:16:53.880 seven US Soccer Fans, a home played for Adelaid United 0:16:53.880 --> 0:16:54.640 than Soccer Roos. 0:16:54.800 --> 0:16:56.960 He will quite often say I love you or even 0:16:57.040 --> 0:16:59.600 love you, bro yeah, and then straight away you go, 0:16:59.760 --> 0:17:03.000 that's really nice. It's really nice, and it's a really 0:17:03.080 --> 0:17:05.520 nice thing. But I wouldn't say that to my friends. 0:17:05.560 --> 0:17:07.399 I would volunteer that I wouldn't say it. 0:17:07.640 --> 0:17:10.520 So when he says love you, bro, what do you say? 0:17:10.680 --> 0:17:16.560 It's like, right, absolutely, has it inspired you to ever 0:17:16.560 --> 0:17:17.000 say to him? 0:17:17.040 --> 0:17:17.240 First? 0:17:17.760 --> 0:17:19.160 Do you know what? It probably has? 0:17:19.240 --> 0:17:21.959 Because that's that's a man who's in touch with his 0:17:21.960 --> 0:17:22.720 inner emotions. 0:17:22.920 --> 0:17:23.800 I just got it worked out. 0:17:23.840 --> 0:17:25.680 Shows emotional maturity one hundred percent. 0:17:25.760 --> 0:17:28.280 And that's even I can recognize that that's a man 0:17:28.359 --> 0:17:31.440 who is emotionally immature. But now I'm making a big 0:17:31.480 --> 0:17:34.879 effort with my son, and he's six years old, to really, 0:17:35.080 --> 0:17:37.680 as often as possible, every single night, say I love you, mate, 0:17:37.720 --> 0:17:39.760 I really love you. And because my dad did it 0:17:39.800 --> 0:17:41.760 to me and I didn't realize how much of a 0:17:41.840 --> 0:17:44.240 good effect it would have, and because it was something 0:17:44.240 --> 0:17:46.280 that I was completely used to in my life, you 0:17:46.320 --> 0:17:49.560 don't understand until you hear other stories or other situations, 0:17:49.600 --> 0:17:53.000 just how rare it is for men, even if it's 0:17:53.000 --> 0:17:55.000 a father saying to a son, how rare it. 0:17:54.920 --> 0:17:57.560 Is to say to sit down and genuinely say I 0:17:57.600 --> 0:17:57.960 love you. 0:17:59.200 --> 0:18:00.679 I'm going to put it a high pathetical to you 0:18:00.720 --> 0:18:02.679 in just a moment. But thirteen twenty four ten, if 0:18:02.720 --> 0:18:04.680 you'd like to get involved in the chick chat, that's 0:18:04.680 --> 0:18:07.400 turned into a bloke chat Mark thirteen twenty four ten. 0:18:07.480 --> 0:18:09.760 Do you say I Love you to your male friends? 0:18:09.800 --> 0:18:12.040 Are they blokes out there that are happily going every 0:18:12.080 --> 0:18:13.880 single time you see each other? I love you. I'd 0:18:13.880 --> 0:18:17.000 love to hear from you. Okay, you're standing in front 0:18:17.000 --> 0:18:21.000 of Jason Horn Francis. 0:18:21.640 --> 0:18:25.879 This is where the fear rejection gone, and. 0:18:25.720 --> 0:18:30.240 You're saying goodbye to him. Do you say, JHF, I 0:18:30.280 --> 0:18:30.719 love you, bro? 0:18:31.119 --> 0:18:34.560 I say JHF, I love you. Congratulations on the All 0:18:34.560 --> 0:18:37.080 Australian selection. And you're a future port Adelaike. 0:18:37.080 --> 0:18:41.080 Great? And then do you sprint across Alberton Oval and 0:18:41.119 --> 0:18:42.720 try and get away because you're solf for read he 0:18:42.720 --> 0:18:43.359 won't say that. 0:18:44.200 --> 0:18:50.359 Say Jason give Score thirteen twenty four ten. And this 0:18:50.400 --> 0:18:52.440 is one for the fellas. Do you say I love 0:18:52.480 --> 0:18:54.760