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Speaker 1: My voice is finally the Turkey today.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you haven't spoke like a four package you.

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Speaker 3: Spoke to everyone, sneak the packaging, Get a better joke.

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Speaker 4: Hi guys, Hi guys, welcome to Thursday's mini episode Girl's Guide,

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Speaker 4: where we provide you girls Guide.

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Speaker 2: Where we provide you with such good advice.

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Speaker 1: So on this links Girl's Guide.

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Speaker 3: We had a couple of dilemmas popping in throughout the week,

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Speaker 3: like we love that nowadays we're getting if we don't

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Speaker 3: even have to ask for them. It's like if someone

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Speaker 3: has a dilemma, they get popped in out fucking emails.

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Speaker 2: So we thought reading them out for you.

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Speaker 1: We can't let you guys.

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Speaker 2: Wait, yeah, you're asking for to give it to you.

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Speaker 3: So we're just gonna read a couple of dilemmas for

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Speaker 3: you guys and give.

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Speaker 1: Our give our best of minds.

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Speaker 2: Some what's gone hit it? First?

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Speaker 5: Is he?

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Speaker 1: Alrighty? My voice is finally the Turkey today.

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Speaker 2: Yeah it's you haven't boke like four package you spoke.

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Speaker 1: To Yeah everyone like the bucketing not anymore?

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Speaker 5: Guy, get a better joke? Yeah, doore all right?

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Speaker 1: Dilemma one. I have a dilemma and need advice.

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Speaker 3: So I was texting this guy who I had never

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Speaker 3: met before, and he has asked for my instact through

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Speaker 3: friends of friends. He followed me and almost immediately invited

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Speaker 3: me on a date. Green flag.

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Speaker 2: I agree, that's a green flag. I don't flag what clear.

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Speaker 3: Your it is a green flag. I don't want to

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Speaker 3: chat to you for a week before. I want to

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Speaker 3: learn about you on the day. Yes, I agree for

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Speaker 3: the day after, but I couldn't go due to prior arrangements.

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Speaker 1: However, the conversation remains.

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Speaker 5: Which is also a green flag. No that let them

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Speaker 5: know that you're busy. Don't let them know that you

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Speaker 5: have heaps time.

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Speaker 1: Can Well it's a bit like ask on a day.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, ask when I'm free.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, totally. I had a green flag.

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Speaker 3: This guy asked me on a day and I couldn't

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Speaker 3: do it for two weeks busy woman. Yeah, it just

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Speaker 3: it wasn't aligning because it's my birthday and he goes

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Speaker 3: leave it with me, I'll find something.

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Speaker 1: Just booked something for two weeks in advance.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and he's already booked the venue. Yeah right, sweeker couldn't.

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Speaker 1: Go do to prior arrangements.

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Speaker 3: However, The conversations remained throughout the night and for the

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Speaker 3: few days following. He asked me out again, but I

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Speaker 3: was going on holidays for two weeks, but he didn't

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Speaker 3: mind and wanted to remain pempals sweet.

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Speaker 1: I didn't mind.

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Speaker 3: This is many of my friends have boyfriends, so when

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Speaker 3: that all text their boyfriends, I could text this guy too.

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Speaker 2: Cute, I love one of them.

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Speaker 3: The chat was flowing throughout the holiday. He was asking

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Speaker 3: for photos vice versa. However, there was no pressure at all.

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Speaker 3: It was very light, still flirty with him, even saying

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Speaker 3: things like ten days till you see me. We were

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Speaker 3: still texting very frequently after I got home.

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Speaker 1: And two days. At this point, they're texting for two weeks. Yeah. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: We were still texting very frequently after I got home

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Speaker 3: and two days after I arrived home. He had to

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Speaker 3: travel for footy for two days, but still no sign

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Speaker 3: he was making any plans to see me.

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Speaker 1: Compair, my friend was also in the same situation.

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Speaker 3: However, the guy she was texting actually had already made

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Speaker 3: plans to see her. Anyways, he goes and plays his

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Speaker 3: match on the day he came home, which was a Sunday.

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Speaker 3: I decided to take things into my own hands and

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Speaker 3: ask when he was planning on taking me out.

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Speaker 2: I was going to suggest that because I thought.

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Speaker 5: That that would be totally god on. He's asked you twice.

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Speaker 5: It's kind of now your thing. You were away nat

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Speaker 5: two weeks.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I completely agree. Which I got a very

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Speaker 3: chatty reply to my other questions about his weekend, but

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Speaker 3: also got this reply, Yes, I need to check my calendar.

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Speaker 3: No life had been got done today at all, so

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Speaker 3: all into tomorrow. I'm going all together now this weekend.

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Speaker 3: So looking pretty busy doesn't make a lot of sense,

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Speaker 3: but basically he's busy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he's busy.

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Speaker 1: Interesting Now.

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Speaker 3: I got pretty confused by this replies after one month

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Speaker 3: plus of texting and never meeting, I would have thought

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Speaker 3: he would have wanted to, Like he works full time

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Speaker 3: in an office, but could have met after work. He

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Speaker 3: doesn't drink either due to footy, So why by the

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Speaker 3: waiting until the weekend. I need your advice as to

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Speaker 3: why someone would do this. Not upset, just confused, as

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Speaker 3: I've never heard of any guy putting in so much effort,

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Speaker 3: but not At the same time, I was wondering what

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Speaker 3: you guys think of this is it weird behavior?

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Speaker 1: Am I making it up?

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Speaker 2: I don't think it's necessarily weird behavior.

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Speaker 5: You sound like someone who's kind of my age, and

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Speaker 5: everyone has like really busy lives and everything like that,

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Speaker 5: Like he obviously works full time, he's got footy, like

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Speaker 5: it's not a huge priority, and like I don't think

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Speaker 5: he wants to do anything necessarily half asked. But I

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Speaker 5: do think you've now got into a comfortable position where

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Speaker 5: you are a bit pen pally and you do know

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Speaker 5: so much about each other that he's not then excited.

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Speaker 3: I'm just confused at the switch up. Yeah, I think

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Speaker 3: there is a slight switcher why. I don't know, but

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Speaker 3: like ten days so you see me and then you

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Speaker 3: get back and he hasn't made an effort to us.

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Speaker 5: I just think he's gotten comfortable that he's like, oh,

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Speaker 5: like she's not really I think I.

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Speaker 3: Know each other well, I don't have to yeah, it's.

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Speaker 5: Not Yeah, I don't need to go out of my

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Speaker 5: way to make sure that this is a thing. I

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Speaker 5: think you should low key back on the text. It's

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Speaker 5: like just pull back up a little bit. And I'm

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Speaker 5: quite abrupt, like I'm like shraped to the point like,

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Speaker 5: I don't want to play these stupid things. So you

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Speaker 5: could just be like, well, just let me know when

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Speaker 5: you're keen to catch up, like and.

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Speaker 3: Then don't need to be penpally in between. You've asked

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Speaker 3: if he's going to see you? Now, yeah, burden lands

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Speaker 3: back on him. Yeah, say, will let me know when

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Speaker 3: you want to do something, and I reckon just kind

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Speaker 3: of leave it there.

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Speaker 5: I've got a quite a few weekends. If you want

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Speaker 5: to do something over the weekend, let me know, And

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Speaker 5: if he wants to see you, he can ask. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: I wouldn't stay a penpally in between until he asked

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Speaker 5: to see you, because yeah, you don't really know this guy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you want to see him for a romantic reason.

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Speaker 3: You're not there to just be friends. So yeah, he's

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Speaker 3: not going to make an effort now that you've gotten

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Speaker 3: a little bit comfortable, Yeah, then there's no point.

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Speaker 5: It's kind of like a long Yeah, it's kind of

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Speaker 5: like a long distance relationship.

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Speaker 2: Like you have to like they always say, for.

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Speaker 5: Long distance to work, you have to have a date

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Speaker 5: in mind that you're going to constantly see each other,

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Speaker 5: because then you do get into a state of like

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Speaker 5: being pen pals and just texting and having someone always

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Speaker 5: there like.

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Speaker 3: And planning in advance isn't an issue either. If he's

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Speaker 3: busy this weekend, fine, great, be like, hey, let's suit

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Speaker 3: Tuesday night. Like you even to be like, but Tuesday

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Speaker 3: works next week?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's all.

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Speaker 5: Well. You could even just kind of suggest like happy

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Speaker 5: to you do something. You could text him saying yeah,

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Speaker 5: like know that you're super busy with footy and work.

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Speaker 5: If you want to grab a chill dinner on Wednesday night,

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Speaker 5: I'm free.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, throw it at throw it out as the problem,

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Speaker 3: putting yourself out there too.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, it's attractive from like men find it attractive, like

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Speaker 5: just say like, yeah, happy to grab a chill dinner,

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Speaker 5: Like we can go to somewhere local around my house

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Speaker 5: on Wednesday and night if you're free, would love to

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Speaker 5: see you.

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Speaker 3: And if he doesn't drink, it's like there's no need

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Speaker 3: to organize these elaborate plans either. You know, things can

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Speaker 3: be very quick and easy. Walk coffee. Yeah, I'd say

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Speaker 3: give it another go.

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Speaker 2: Yeah I would too.

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Speaker 5: I think it just like throw it out in the air,

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Speaker 5: give him a few days that you're free, then it's

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Speaker 5: up to him. If he doesn't really receive that, well,

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Speaker 5: flick him up.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, I do get it's confusing, for I've proven.

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Speaker 5: To be confusing, so confusing, And I really get in

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Speaker 5: my head about that quite a lot too, because I'm like,

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Speaker 5: your fucking all guns blazing when I didn't have an

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Speaker 5: answer for you you and now I have an answer

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Speaker 5: for you, and you're just like complacent, no claro, no

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Speaker 5: demember number two. It's just a little bit of a

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Speaker 5: brainstorm for the girlies that are struggling with a breakup.

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Speaker 5: Right now, someone goes, my boyfriend just broke up with me.

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Speaker 5: I need tips to keep me occupied. I'm not a

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Speaker 5: fitness girly same sister. First of all, I would say,

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Speaker 5: don't distract yourself. I'd say allow yourself three weeks to

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Speaker 5: feel the pain of a breakup.

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Speaker 2: It's fucking shit.

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Speaker 5: You're gonna feel like shit, You're gonna have horrible days,

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Speaker 5: you're gonna not want to get out of bed, You're

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Speaker 5: gonna struggle.

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Speaker 1: So just relinquish the pressure off yourself.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: More girls, actually, yeah, I remember watching and they're like,

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Speaker 3: you need a wallow.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you need to feel it.

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Speaker 3: You need to be sad, you need to get junk foods,

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Speaker 3: You need to have your friends out, you need to

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Speaker 3: watch movies.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, you need to allow yourself to feel like shit,

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Speaker 5: because that's how you're actually probably gonna get over them.

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Speaker 5: If you're distracting yourself going out, partying and not actually

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Speaker 5: allowing yourself to sit in those feelings, then you're not

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Speaker 5: probably ever gonna get over.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's out.

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Speaker 3: I've seen so many friends go now, I'm fine, this

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Speaker 3: is fine, and then two months down the truck they're

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Speaker 3: having the meltdown. Then yeah, you know, you need to

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Speaker 3: have the meltdown in the beginning. And just even if

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Speaker 3: it's not that emotional, it's still going to be a

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Speaker 3: loss regardless.

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Speaker 5: You're greeting someone that's still alive, like you're grieving a

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Speaker 5: person that you knew and an intimate relationship that you knew.

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Speaker 5: It's such a foreign concept that you could be dating

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Speaker 5: this guy for a year and you spoke to him

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Speaker 5: every day, You told someone about your day every day,

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Speaker 5: like you confided in them, you trust them, and then

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Speaker 5: suddenly one day you both decide that it's for it's

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Speaker 5: one sided, and you are no longer together, and you're

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Speaker 5: suddenly having to unlearn all those things that you've had

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Speaker 5: in your life every single day.

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Speaker 2: But that person is still alive.

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Speaker 5: They're still out there, their hearts still beating, they're still

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Speaker 5: going about their normal day and you don't know about it.

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Speaker 5: It's a very foreign concept and you just have to

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Speaker 5: release the pressure.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so have your wallow. In regards to things to

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Speaker 3: distract you. Going out and heavily drinking, I would say

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Speaker 3: steer away from because it always ends up emotional, which

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Speaker 3: isn't going to make you feel good the next day,

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Speaker 3: you know. Definitely having some nights with the girls, maybe

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Speaker 3: nights in all that sort of stuff. Definitely still can

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Speaker 3: go out. I know I did, but I try to

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Speaker 3: steer away from drinking a lot because it will result

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Speaker 3: in tears at the time. But maybe go down to

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Speaker 3: the beach for a weekend. Rend the little shitty airbnb

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Speaker 3: with a couple of the girls and have a weekend away.

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Speaker 3: Go to a winery for a day, give yourself the

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Speaker 3: chance to dress.

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Speaker 5: Up your friend's day the markets in the morning on

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Speaker 5: a Sunday, like overwalk.

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Speaker 1: Movies, my movie, like going to the movie is always

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Speaker 1: got you in a dark room.

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Speaker 3: Take days the TV and your phone's on airplane mode.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so broady good.

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Speaker 5: I know you said you don't like fitness, but I

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Speaker 5: always find going through a break up and going for

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Speaker 5: a walk with a friend and just like absolutely like

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Speaker 5: it's like a therapy session. Like yeah, even just grab

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Speaker 5: a coffee instead of the cafe and just like emotionally

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Speaker 5: like relinquish everything that you're feeling onto them and yeah,

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Speaker 5: your friend, then they'll create a you and support you.

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Speaker 5: Just like getting out of the house, don't sit in

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Speaker 5: your bed and feel satdy.

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Speaker 3: Seth makes me feel better, but obviously is very circumstantial

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Speaker 3: and it probably works more because I live out of home.

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Speaker 3: Is having dinner with my family, Yeah, going to my

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Speaker 3: families I did that quite a bit.

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Speaker 1: It's very grounding.

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Speaker 3: If you do have a good relationship with your family,

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Speaker 3: that is obviously, But even going to a friend's house

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Speaker 3: and having them cook you dinner and just watching a

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Speaker 3: bit of like just being around people is a good

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Speaker 3: thing too. But definitely allow yourself to feel it. Don't

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Speaker 3: put too much pressure on yourself. Yeah, it's taken me

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Speaker 3: totally different times to get over two different breakups.

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Speaker 1: Like, there's no timeline for it.

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Speaker 5: Also, don't compare yourself to how other people are healing

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Speaker 5: as well. Everyone does it in their own way. Good luck, girl,

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Speaker 5: good luck not easy giving you big cuds and kisses,

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Speaker 5: we feel you.

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Speaker 3: Dilemma three, Hey girls. I was really close to this girl,

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Speaker 3: let's call it Ali. Ali and I was so close

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Speaker 3: and would hang out all the time and tell each

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Speaker 3: other practically everything. Ali and I had a small falling

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Speaker 3: out over something that was caused by a simple miscommunication.

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Speaker 3: I honestly didn't think anything of it, as I knew

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Speaker 3: our friendship was so strong. I did apologize though, but

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Speaker 3: really thought nothing of it as it.

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Speaker 1: Was really silly and small. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: A couple days past and the little miscommunication we had

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Speaker 3: wasn't even on my mind. I messaged Ali like I

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Speaker 3: usually do, asking how she is, etc. Ali responded to

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Speaker 3: my message with paragraphs and paragraphs of abuse and downright bullying.

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Speaker 3: She obviously thought little miscommunication was bigger than I ever thought.

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Speaker 3: After this, I removed Ali as I wasn't going to

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Speaker 3: allow her to continue to be rude to me or

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Speaker 3: abuse me anymore.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, the problem is I have to see Ali every

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Speaker 3: week and on a trip together with others in our friendship.

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Speaker 1: Groat watch they.

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Speaker 5: Did I think I had a falling out with one

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Speaker 5: of my close friends a couple of weeks ago, again

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Speaker 5: from a miscommunication. There were so many inputs and feedback

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Speaker 5: from other people coming into us, and it just like

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Speaker 5: made everything so scrambled. Eggie and we did end up

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Speaker 5: having to see each other at an event, and we

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Speaker 5: saw each other at the event, we held our head

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Speaker 5: tie like, we kept a professional We got along fine.

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Speaker 5: Like I think, when you're online and when you have

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Speaker 5: such access to someone over text, you do say things

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Speaker 5: that you might not necessarily say in person, and it's

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Speaker 5: a little bit more forward, and it's a little bit

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Speaker 5: more abrupt, and again can be a little bit meaner.

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Speaker 5: I think you could if you want to squish it

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Speaker 5: and you want to look after yourself. I honestly, the

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Speaker 5: way I would go about it would text Ali and

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Speaker 5: go hey, obviously, I think we were both having differencing

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Speaker 5: opinions in our disagreement. I would love to grab a

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Speaker 5: coffee with you and chat about it, and you guys,

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Speaker 5: chat about it in a public space. You're in public,

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Speaker 5: so you're gonna like be more level headed, and you're

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Speaker 5: seeing each other in real life, so you're not gonna

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Speaker 5: say those horrible things over text is never gonna get

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Speaker 5: you anywhere.

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Speaker 1: Mean over text.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but I maybe have a slightly differing opinions here.

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Speaker 3: I just I don't feel like there's any need to

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Speaker 3: ever like abuse or belittle or send paragraphs your friends.

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Speaker 3: Not that you said you're saying they is, but as

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Speaker 3: in for you to get that over something so small

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Speaker 3: and so minor, like Ali sounds like a bitch, so

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Speaker 3: like it's rude and it's unnecessary, especially how she's feeling.

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Speaker 3: I don't, but I think it's now Ali's chance to apologize.

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Speaker 3: I've been in lots of situations with friends that I

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Speaker 3: haven't been okay with and it's scary to walk into

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Speaker 3: a room with them. But if they're the ones that

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Speaker 3: have treated you poorly, it's up to you to hold

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Speaker 3: your head high. She wants to apologize, she can and

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Speaker 3: hands it with grace, say thank you, but don't grovel

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Speaker 3: for someone that's spoken to you.

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Speaker 2: To believe you should grovel at all.

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Speaker 5: But I think if you want to get past it

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Speaker 5: and you want to chat it out, you give her

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Speaker 5: the like the ability to be like, Hey, I would

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Speaker 5: love to chat this out. I would love to squash this.

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Speaker 5: We don't have to be as close as we were,

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Speaker 5: but we're obviously going on trips together and I don't

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Speaker 5: want them to be awkward and I don't want it

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Speaker 5: to ruin for anyone else.

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Speaker 3: It does, it can potentially affect other people around you. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I think is whether the issue comes in of it

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Speaker 3: is a group trip. So if you do have to

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Speaker 3: see her, maybe see how that goes.

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Speaker 1: You never know.

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Speaker 3: Sometimes people kind of almost pretend things didn't happen, which

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Speaker 3: if it isn't someone you want to be super closer

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Speaker 3: in the future, I feel like that is fine to

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Speaker 3: run with that and kind of just be like, all right,

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Speaker 3: she wants to pretend it didn't happen, Fine, we'll play

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Speaker 3: that way.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: I don't think you should forgive her without an apology, though,

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Speaker 5: because the way that she's obviously spoken to you has

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Speaker 5: clearly affected you and.

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Speaker 2: It's not nice.

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I've just had some shocking friendship breakups and people that

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Speaker 3: trading me like shit over the years, as a lot

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Speaker 3: of us have, so have some respect for yourself too.

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Speaker 1: Don't go groveling for this girl.

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Speaker 5: Not that don't grovel, but I think you should provide

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Speaker 5: her with an opportunity to maybe take responsibility for what

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Speaker 5: she said and apologized. I think you should always give

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Speaker 5: someone an opportunity to apologize. Whether you want to take

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Speaker 5: that or not, or you just want to squish it,

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Speaker 5: but I think you deserve an apology.

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Speaker 3: Maybe she acted that way, maybe there's more to the

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Speaker 3: story than you think, but.

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Speaker 5: Give it an opportunity to explain herself and give it

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Speaker 5: an opportunity to apologize, because you, guys, will be in settings. Clearly,

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Speaker 5: as you've said that, it's going to make it more awkward,

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Speaker 5: and I feel like it's going to make you more

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Speaker 5: anxious if you don't let her speak her word.

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Speaker 3: If she's not gonna say sorry, you living your best

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Speaker 3: life on this trip, and I promise you the one

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Speaker 3: she's gonna end up feeling for me that she's still

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Speaker 3: holding that grudge against you because you're just going on

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Speaker 3: living and she's sitting there angry at you, and it's

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Speaker 3: ruining her trip too.

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Speaker 5: So just give her one opportunity. If she doesn't take it,

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Speaker 5: fuck her off.

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Speaker 2: Bye.

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Speaker 3: All right, guys, that was just our quick little dilemma, Sitch.

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Speaker 3: We love having them come through, even when we don't

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Speaker 3: ask for them. We always open to hearing.

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Speaker 2: Them three different ones.

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Speaker 5: Friendship, break up boys, boys man, not even fuck off men.

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Speaker 2: I'm such a men hater at the moment. It's really bad. Anyway,

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Speaker 2: that's okay, all.

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Speaker 3: Right, guys, we love you so much and we will

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Speaker 3: chat to you on Tuesday. Bye bye,