1
00:00:01,639 --> 00:00:04,560
Speaker 1: The City and with katelynki podcast.

2
00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:09,280
Speaker 2: Let's talk about Dave Gral. It's pretty big confession.

3
00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:14,080
Speaker 3: Dave confession, you know what, it's rock to me a bit. No,

4
00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:17,160
Speaker 3: that's just not a part. That's just I don't know.

5
00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:19,960
Speaker 4: I look at Dave Gral. I look up to Dave

6
00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:23,480
Speaker 4: Gral because I did it.

7
00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:26,440
Speaker 3: I see the way that he talks about his daughters,

8
00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:29,800
Speaker 3: and I see him as a father and a loving father,

9
00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:33,440
Speaker 3: and I and I've read his book, The Storyteller, and

10
00:00:33,479 --> 00:00:36,040
Speaker 3: I think that he's got great morals and values.

11
00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:37,320
Speaker 4: He's been around, you know.

12
00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:39,360
Speaker 1: What, he can tell a story.

13
00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:40,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, he's a rock star.

14
00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:42,919
Speaker 3: So he spoke about how he partied a bit when

15
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,440
Speaker 3: he was younger. But he's in that sense he's always been,

16
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:48,239
Speaker 3: you know, really good and done the right thing, and

17
00:00:48,479 --> 00:00:50,000
Speaker 3: you know, he's looked after himself.

18
00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:52,360
Speaker 4: But this just I didn't see it coming.

19
00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:53,199
Speaker 1: I think there was a.

20
00:00:53,159 --> 00:00:55,760
Speaker 5: Lot of a lot of things floating around in the

21
00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:59,560
Speaker 5: news yesterday that there was a big part of the

22
00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:02,520
Speaker 5: community who may have been waiting for this to happen,

23
00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:04,840
Speaker 5: who kind of knew that this was the behavior over

24
00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:07,399
Speaker 5: a long period of time, that there were signs and

25
00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:10,759
Speaker 5: there were stories and that there's a sense of relief

26
00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:14,080
Speaker 5: that well, finally the guy who has presented so well

27
00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:17,080
Speaker 5: like you're saying fits and this is just hearsay and

28
00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:21,959
Speaker 5: what I've read, and that they're kind of like, well,

29
00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:25,800
Speaker 5: finally he's actually not that guy.

30
00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:28,280
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, it doesn't change his love for his

31
00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:30,000
Speaker 2: family and his kids.

32
00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:31,080
Speaker 4: Of course it doesn't.

33
00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:33,000
Speaker 2: I mean, there's but but.

34
00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:36,559
Speaker 4: The healing process now.

35
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:39,440
Speaker 3: And do you think the Instagram post was part of

36
00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:42,600
Speaker 3: you need to own this? That's not the wife and

37
00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:44,360
Speaker 3: the family saying you need to own this.

38
00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:46,560
Speaker 5: You know what I actually thought this morning when I

39
00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:50,080
Speaker 5: first thought this morning about this was this has probably

40
00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:52,560
Speaker 5: been on the cards for a while. The announcement has

41
00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:57,040
Speaker 5: had to be made and very carefully. They decided to

42
00:01:57,120 --> 00:02:00,160
Speaker 5: release the news of the love child on the day

43
00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:03,080
Speaker 5: of the debate by the US because there's a much

44
00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:07,040
Speaker 5: bigger news story fighting around, and it would be varied what.

45
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,000
Speaker 2: A perfect what a perfect day release of story?

46
00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:11,000
Speaker 1: I think that has not been considered.

47
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,520
Speaker 3: Teams in that would you would have to be thinking

48
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,800
Speaker 3: they would have to find out who the who the

49
00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:17,600
Speaker 3: mistress is?

50
00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:19,880
Speaker 2: Well, I would think so you mean the mother of

51
00:02:19,919 --> 00:02:23,280
Speaker 2: the baby. Yes, yeah, I would assume that's the hand

52
00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:24,519
Speaker 2: to try and work out the link there.

53
00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:27,000
Speaker 5: There'll be a few phone calls being made, madly, do

54
00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:28,880
Speaker 5: you know this person? What have you got?

55
00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:30,320
Speaker 1: We've got some cash.

56
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,720
Speaker 2: I mean, this happens in outside of the celebrity world,

57
00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,600
Speaker 2: in every day a life. How did you find out

58
00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:37,600
Speaker 2: there was another baby?

59
00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:39,880
Speaker 4: I love child, loved child?

60
00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:42,400
Speaker 2: How did you find out there was someone else and

61
00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:48,880
Speaker 2: a baby had been conceived? Ahmadin? Hello, Hello, You've got

62
00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:51,400
Speaker 2: a story here for us, Yes, I do.

63
00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:52,880
Speaker 3: What happened very similar.

64
00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:56,400
Speaker 6: So I was married with my husband and we had

65
00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:59,640
Speaker 6: our daughter, which was amazing, and when she was about

66
00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,800
Speaker 6: nine months old, I got a call and it was

67
00:03:02,919 --> 00:03:06,120
Speaker 6: another woman, which actually my husband had an aswer with

68
00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:09,560
Speaker 6: her at the same time we were conceiving our daughter.

69
00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:12,520
Speaker 6: So she had a son which was the exact image

70
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:16,480
Speaker 6: of my daughter. Because the judit was were two day apart.

71
00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:17,560
Speaker 4: Oh no, why.

72
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,000
Speaker 1: Very period?

73
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:23,359
Speaker 4: Did he have any excuse? How madam? What was his

74
00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:24,280
Speaker 4: first response?

75
00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:30,399
Speaker 6: There was no first response, just he was just trying

76
00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:36,000
Speaker 6: to convince me to stay instead of talking about what happened, right, yeah,

77
00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:40,200
Speaker 6: But his excuse was just like, oh, I wasn't sending

78
00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:42,880
Speaker 6: good morning texts and things like that. So he felt lonely,

79
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:46,760
Speaker 6: so he felt like talking about fault. Of course it

80
00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:49,839
Speaker 6: was my fault.

81
00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:53,800
Speaker 1: That makes complete sense.

82
00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:56,200
Speaker 3: And was he on tour at the time as well?

83
00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,640
Speaker 3: Martin was what band was he a part of?

84
00:03:58,880 --> 00:03:59,560
Speaker 2: Or now he was?

85
00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:03,360
Speaker 6: I don't know, maybe there's I don't know.

86
00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:06,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you okay, Now how old is your child?

87
00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:11,640
Speaker 6: She's about two and a half years old. Now I'm

88
00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:13,120
Speaker 6: trying to rebuild my life.

89
00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:18,919
Speaker 3: So what I need to work out is Dave Girl's

90
00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:20,120
Speaker 3: wife and children.

91
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,920
Speaker 4: You, I mean, this will take a while to hear.

92
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,440
Speaker 4: Do you have a relationship with.

93
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:29,520
Speaker 3: The mother and the daughter or the baby that's coming

94
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:30,119
Speaker 3: into the world.

95
00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:32,480
Speaker 2: Well, I think he will. I mean the post suggest

96
00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:34,800
Speaker 2: that he would try and coordinate the whole thing.

97
00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:36,080
Speaker 1: Coordinate.

98
00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:40,160
Speaker 5: Interesting, Well, there, it's going to take a bit of

99
00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:41,920
Speaker 5: coordination and.

100
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:43,799
Speaker 1: Management, I would imagine.

101
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:47,960
Speaker 5: I just hope everyone's okay, but I think there's some.

102
00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:50,360
Speaker 1: Tough and tricky conversations to be had.

103
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:54,240
Speaker 2: Sort that out and fits in with her with cap

104
00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:55,280
Speaker 2: Rinchie podcast.

105
00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:57,720
Speaker 5: Well done to all the parents out there who are

106
00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:00,400
Speaker 5: co parenting and doing it, doing it.

107
00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:03,159
Speaker 1: Well or doing it as best they can.

108
00:05:03,279 --> 00:05:06,960
Speaker 5: Struggle for now, this is an interesting story, and you

109
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:09,760
Speaker 5: may find yourself in this situation at the moment. And

110
00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:13,679
Speaker 5: everybody's always got an opinion about how you should do stuff.

111
00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:18,680
Speaker 5: And Mama's opened up about her unique co parenting situation

112
00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:22,520
Speaker 5: and maybe it shouldn't be that unique, and others have

113
00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:27,000
Speaker 5: slammed her for confusing a children over the relationship she

114
00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:30,160
Speaker 5: continues to have with her ex husband, which means they

115
00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:34,160
Speaker 5: can they still now after being separated for many years

116
00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:38,000
Speaker 5: and divorced, that they still go on holidays together. So

117
00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:41,880
Speaker 5: they split up, they're not in love anymore. I mean,

118
00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:44,200
Speaker 5: I get the feeling if you can holiday together, you

119
00:05:44,279 --> 00:05:47,719
Speaker 5: may have an element of love for that person because

120
00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:49,960
Speaker 5: they are the parent of your children.

121
00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:51,880
Speaker 1: You had a child or children with.

122
00:05:51,839 --> 00:05:54,760
Speaker 5: Them, and they don't want to miss out on important

123
00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:59,120
Speaker 5: moments for their kids. So rather than do everything separately,

124
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,240
Speaker 5: I found a way to be able to do those

125
00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:06,800
Speaker 5: things together. And that also means you know, going taking

126
00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:09,440
Speaker 5: I don't know, I'm making this up. The kids, the

127
00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:12,400
Speaker 5: kids have never skied before. We both want to be there.

128
00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:13,520
Speaker 5: Let's do it together.

129
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,440
Speaker 3: Do you take your partner with you though, like do

130
00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:19,280
Speaker 3: you take currents?

131
00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:22,719
Speaker 5: Well, that's if you do have a partner look, look,

132
00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:25,360
Speaker 5: I think you have to be far down the track

133
00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:32,120
Speaker 5: and maybe that maybe that does make things a bit confusing.

134
00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:35,440
Speaker 5: I mean, maybe it is just for the kids. It's

135
00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:38,480
Speaker 5: like Mum and dad do this with us.

136
00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:40,279
Speaker 2: So you're doing it for the child, aren't you.

137
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,919
Speaker 5: Ultimately Yeah, well, I think if you're doing it for yourself,

138
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,400
Speaker 5: then there's a blood.

139
00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:46,400
Speaker 4: There is a birdline.

140
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:49,240
Speaker 2: Do you know what's interesting if you picture yourself in

141
00:06:49,279 --> 00:06:53,000
Speaker 2: a relationship where maybe the love has died and you

142
00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:55,120
Speaker 2: both have discussed the fact that you're not in love

143
00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:56,880
Speaker 2: with each other, but you're co parenting and maybe you're

144
00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:59,720
Speaker 2: living under the same roof even if you're separated. If

145
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:02,039
Speaker 2: you were go on a holiday and I'm just thinking, practically,

146
00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:03,640
Speaker 2: you're going to book one room if you've got a

147
00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:05,560
Speaker 2: small child, right, because you're not going to pay for two,

148
00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:08,360
Speaker 2: So the likelihood of you sleeping in the same bed

149
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:12,320
Speaker 2: as your ex is high to be.

150
00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:16,400
Speaker 5: Okay, well just for yeah, I know what you mean.

151
00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:18,080
Speaker 5: It's all well and good to say, oh, we can

152
00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:21,200
Speaker 5: book two villas in fig but the reality is that

153
00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:22,680
Speaker 5: that's not possible.

154
00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:24,640
Speaker 2: Because then when you're in the bed with the partner,

155
00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:28,560
Speaker 2: it would feel exactly like when you were back together

156
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:32,160
Speaker 2: without the love, So I think it would be quite

157
00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:35,400
Speaker 2: a numb sort of mutual feeling of this is just

158
00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:36,880
Speaker 2: what it is, and we're here for the purpose of

159
00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:37,280
Speaker 2: the child.

160
00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:39,800
Speaker 5: And it could even be more confusing because what if

161
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:43,480
Speaker 5: you do still have feelings.

162
00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:45,160
Speaker 4: If one of them does see the other.

163
00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:47,320
Speaker 3: Thing is you know, the best part of a holiday,

164
00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:49,560
Speaker 3: user especially when you have a young kid, is when

165
00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:52,600
Speaker 3: the child goes to sleep right and then you have

166
00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:55,200
Speaker 3: that moment where you crack your first drink or a

167
00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:58,360
Speaker 3: wine or something like that, and you're with your partner

168
00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:00,640
Speaker 3: and you look into each other's eye and go, this

169
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,560
Speaker 3: is what it's all about. We don't have any we

170
00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:05,320
Speaker 3: don't have to go to work tomorrow. This is where

171
00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:08,960
Speaker 3: So that moment, when it happens with your ex it

172
00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:11,880
Speaker 3: must be so weird when you're looking at them, going,

173
00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:13,440
Speaker 3: do you remember when we used to do this?

174
00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:16,160
Speaker 2: So that's the more intimate part, not even sharing the bed,

175
00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:18,760
Speaker 2: sitting down and making conversation.

176
00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:23,360
Speaker 5: Well, playing family, family role play. The family now looks different.

177
00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:24,960
Speaker 5: But I think that's what you have to get your

178
00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:27,640
Speaker 5: head around, is that you can still be your family

179
00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:30,400
Speaker 5: and you can still love your children.

180
00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:31,160
Speaker 1: You just don't.

181
00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:36,679
Speaker 5: You're just not living as a husband traditional and wife anymore.

182
00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:38,800
Speaker 5: I think, I look, I think it takes. I think

183
00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:42,280
Speaker 5: it takes. I think it takes a lot of work.

184
00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:44,760
Speaker 5: And let's be and let's be very honest. There are

185
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:48,440
Speaker 5: a lot of relationships and probably people listening now is

186
00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:51,719
Speaker 5: they're thinking, the one person I don't ever want to

187
00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:53,800
Speaker 5: see in the world again is the person I had

188
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:56,040
Speaker 5: a child with. So it's all well and good to

189
00:08:56,760 --> 00:09:00,000
Speaker 5: say what people should do and that everything should be amicable.

190
00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:03,400
Speaker 5: Sometimes it's best, it's actually best not to deal with

191
00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:05,360
Speaker 5: the person you were married to.

192
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:07,920
Speaker 4: How's Caitlin's given us a girl from Penrith.

193
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:11,840
Speaker 3: You've got a crazy co parenting situation, Kaylen, I'm sorry.

194
00:09:11,679 --> 00:09:14,720
Speaker 4: You've got a crazy co parenting situation. What's going on?

195
00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:16,439
Speaker 7: So?

196
00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:18,319
Speaker 6: I have an husband.

197
00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:21,640
Speaker 7: We divorced, or we separated first seven years ago and

198
00:09:21,679 --> 00:09:25,760
Speaker 7: then our formal divorce was like kind of in the

199
00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:29,640
Speaker 7: initial stages of when I was my partner and I

200
00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:32,360
Speaker 7: were getting together with them together five years. We have

201
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:35,840
Speaker 7: my two boys from my previous marriage as well as

202
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:42,360
Speaker 7: his daughter who we have full time. And basically everyone

203
00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:48,520
Speaker 7: thinks so crazy, But you know, the ex husband, he

204
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:51,000
Speaker 7: is just his in and out of our place, like

205
00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:55,160
Speaker 7: his furniture. Basically, he treats out my stepdaughter as if

206
00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:58,000
Speaker 7: she were his own. He fuys a better presents than

207
00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:04,079
Speaker 7: the grandparents, who honestly he is. We regularly do things

208
00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:06,480
Speaker 7: together and everyone's like, oh, it's a bit of a

209
00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:09,520
Speaker 7: third wheel situation, but it works for us.

210
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:11,079
Speaker 6: And can I.

211
00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:13,920
Speaker 5: Ask you then about your new partner, because this all

212
00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:18,199
Speaker 5: sounds as though everybody's adulting very well here and as

213
00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:22,880
Speaker 5: all everyone's very secure in their own position within the wheel.

214
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:28,360
Speaker 5: Were there ever issues about boundaries? Is that what you

215
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,200
Speaker 5: have to be really clear with here?

216
00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:38,120
Speaker 7: My my Okay, So my current partner was very like

217
00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:42,120
Speaker 7: he is still a very jealous person, and so he

218
00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:46,760
Speaker 7: actually him and and my husband both really honestly worked

219
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:50,560
Speaker 7: really really hard on themselves because, like they there was

220
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:53,679
Speaker 7: definitely issues, and my current partner was very jealous. He

221
00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:58,080
Speaker 7: was very worried, and you know, after a lot of reassurance,

222
00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:01,280
Speaker 7: after being that there was really just no interest in

223
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:05,160
Speaker 7: that from me, that that it really was just the

224
00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:08,400
Speaker 7: case of wanting him around you for it to be

225
00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:11,320
Speaker 7: easier with the kids, so the kids could see as

226
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:16,679
Speaker 7: much of him as possible. It's probably the first I'd say, oh,

227
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:21,760
Speaker 7: probably two years. Honestly, it was a really steep but

228
00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:24,400
Speaker 7: like a really steep learning urve just because of the

229
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:27,920
Speaker 7: like societal norms of being with it as well.

230
00:11:28,679 --> 00:11:31,440
Speaker 5: So yeah, it's what everybody else thinks about it. But

231
00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:33,920
Speaker 5: you know what, let me just say this, Caitlin, I'm

232
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:35,760
Speaker 5: sure that the fact that all three of you have

233
00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:38,520
Speaker 5: worked on yourselves, your kids will one day look back

234
00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:43,280
Speaker 5: and thank you very much for having you know, an

235
00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:46,480
Speaker 5: amicable book, amicable relationship. You've done really well.

236
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:50,240
Speaker 7: Yeah, well even to the point where like as husband,

237
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:53,560
Speaker 7: if he is watching the kids or something, because we

238
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:58,000
Speaker 7: have kids who autism, so like we will he will

239
00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:01,200
Speaker 7: come and watch the kids at our and like we'll

240
00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:05,040
Speaker 7: go out for dinner and things like that, and people

241
00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:07,959
Speaker 7: just find that so strange, Like people can't wrap their

242
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:08,679
Speaker 7: heads around it.

243
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:12,520
Speaker 5: And yeah, but you know what, it takes a village

244
00:12:12,559 --> 00:12:15,920
Speaker 5: to bring up, you know, a kid sometimes, so well,

245
00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:16,839
Speaker 5: credit to you.

246
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,280
Speaker 4: It is a quote.

247
00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:22,120
Speaker 5: Thanks, thanks so much, thanks to your influence.

248
00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:24,920
Speaker 1: It fits in with podcast.

249
00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:27,800
Speaker 5: I am hopeless with forgetting where things are.

250
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:29,360
Speaker 4: Or remembering.

251
00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:34,079
Speaker 2: Forgetting where I think you've mastered it. What day of

252
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:34,880
Speaker 2: the week it is.

253
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,040
Speaker 1: I've started, well, haven't I? I can.

254
00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:39,840
Speaker 5: I lose things a lot, and I lose really do

255
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:41,520
Speaker 5: you know? The one thing I lose all of the

256
00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:45,840
Speaker 5: time is my mind. I forget words, but no, I

257
00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:49,640
Speaker 5: also forget the past to get into this building.

258
00:12:49,679 --> 00:12:52,240
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, this white card a oh like.

259
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:54,440
Speaker 5: I know some people take it off the lanyard and

260
00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:56,040
Speaker 5: put it in their wallet, but you've got to wear

261
00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:58,800
Speaker 5: the lanyard because the lanyard represents whether you work here

262
00:12:58,960 --> 00:12:59,200
Speaker 5: or not.

263
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:02,000
Speaker 3: And I like to by the rules. You feel so

264
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:06,199
Speaker 3: powerful with a lanyard I work. I love walking around

265
00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:07,680
Speaker 3: the city with a lanyard.

266
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,240
Speaker 2: So you keep it on even on the weekends.

267
00:13:09,559 --> 00:13:10,120
Speaker 4: I like it.

268
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:14,040
Speaker 5: I was around hanging out around a hospital yesterday in

269
00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:16,719
Speaker 5: a suburb, you know, And I love it when you

270
00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:18,839
Speaker 5: see people on their lunch break and they have their

271
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,760
Speaker 5: little laniards on and their little clippy things with their

272
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,560
Speaker 5: photo on it, and it makes me think, well, they're

273
00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:26,040
Speaker 5: really important. They work at the hospital, they've done something

274
00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:28,840
Speaker 5: really good today, they're help they're helping people.

275
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:29,920
Speaker 1: I smile at them.

276
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,160
Speaker 2: You've got your swipe card around your neck and just

277
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:33,840
Speaker 2: this could get me into the prize cupboard.

278
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:36,520
Speaker 5: Yeah, maybe or the state of the stationary day. Well,

279
00:13:36,559 --> 00:13:38,960
Speaker 5: maybe I could grab some free porridge off the free sheelfs.

280
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:41,960
Speaker 5: See how excitings are Anyway, There's this guy out of

281
00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:45,640
Speaker 5: Cambridge University and basically he's saying, when you forget things,

282
00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:48,880
Speaker 5: and maybe my mother's tried to teach me this over

283
00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:53,720
Speaker 5: the years, the idea of stressing out and trying to

284
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,720
Speaker 5: remember something is actually the thing that is making you

285
00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:58,200
Speaker 5: forget it in the first place.

286
00:13:58,559 --> 00:14:00,760
Speaker 1: You know, like, oh God, where am a key? Or

287
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:01,960
Speaker 1: what was I going to say?

288
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:06,479
Speaker 5: And then you're thinking and you're overthinking, and the process

289
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:09,080
Speaker 5: of trying to force that thought back into your mind

290
00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:10,520
Speaker 5: is keeping it blank.

291
00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:12,959
Speaker 2: Do you do that one where you walk into a

292
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:14,880
Speaker 2: room and then you go what am I doing here?

293
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:15,600
Speaker 4: Yeah?

294
00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:17,600
Speaker 1: I always do, or I go upstairs.

295
00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:20,280
Speaker 5: I'll go upstairs to get something, and I have a

296
00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:21,520
Speaker 5: lot of purpose.

297
00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:24,960
Speaker 1: And I think it.

298
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:29,600
Speaker 3: Can't be How satisfying is the feeling when it comes

299
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:29,960
Speaker 3: to you.

300
00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:32,920
Speaker 2: That the toilet that's.

301
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:35,400
Speaker 5: Right, Yeah, that's well, that's usually obvious because your bladder's

302
00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:39,320
Speaker 5: given you're a bit of curry. But it's funny you

303
00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:41,640
Speaker 5: should say that fitsy about that the moment it comes

304
00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:45,080
Speaker 5: back to you, what he's suggesting is, and maybe you've

305
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:49,320
Speaker 5: used this before, is calm down and sometimes just leave

306
00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:51,920
Speaker 5: the leave the room, leave the space in which you

307
00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:57,520
Speaker 5: are trying so desperately to remember something, and come back

308
00:14:57,560 --> 00:15:01,080
Speaker 5: into that area and that space with a new demeanor.

309
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,840
Speaker 5: And quite often that thought, we'll just float it come

310
00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:06,840
Speaker 5: back into your body like a wave.

311
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:11,560
Speaker 4: So what buy a new demeanor? What do you mean like.

312
00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:15,240
Speaker 3: Just go and maybe change your clothes, walk in thinking, oh,

313
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:18,040
Speaker 3: I'm really confident walking into this room.

314
00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:20,480
Speaker 1: Well, maybe just shake it out. Okay, you'll make it,

315
00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:21,360
Speaker 1: go and make a cup.

316
00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:22,680
Speaker 2: Of tea, shall I forget about it?

317
00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:23,520
Speaker 1: But the thing is in the.

318
00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:25,480
Speaker 5: Morning when you're stressing out because you can't find your

319
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:27,280
Speaker 5: keys because you know you've put it on a bookshelf,

320
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:29,240
Speaker 5: for it's in the laundry basket, and you know you've

321
00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:31,800
Speaker 5: seen them, but you can't quite remember them. I'm talking

322
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:35,760
Speaker 5: through a usual morning of Fine, it's best just to calm,

323
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:37,200
Speaker 5: but you often don't have that time.

324
00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:38,080
Speaker 2: How do we prove this?

325
00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:40,320
Speaker 5: Well, I've got a little I actually have a little test.

326
00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:42,720
Speaker 5: I mean people listening can probably play along as well.

327
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,440
Speaker 1: And I thought you guys could do it.

328
00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:47,840
Speaker 5: And the way we'll just test your memory of things

329
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:49,040
Speaker 5: with words.

330
00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:51,320
Speaker 1: For example, So I've got a list of words here.

331
00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:54,240
Speaker 5: I'm going to read them out to you, and then

332
00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:56,520
Speaker 5: we're just going to you know, give it a bit

333
00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:58,600
Speaker 5: of time. Maybe we play a song. You can shake

334
00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:00,640
Speaker 5: it out, you can change your clothes if.

335
00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:04,800
Speaker 4: You feel like walking with a new demeanor.

336
00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:07,120
Speaker 5: And come back in and let's see whether the stressing

337
00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:09,440
Speaker 5: out of trying to remember those words makes you actually

338
00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:13,920
Speaker 5: forget them, or whether you know a new refreshed attitude

339
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:15,880
Speaker 5: FITS might help you remember.

340
00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:17,120
Speaker 2: You've got a lot of words.

341
00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:21,160
Speaker 4: I'm actually going to walk back in, Mina. When you say,

342
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:25,920
Speaker 4: I'm just going to walk in and have a go at, you.

343
00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:26,560
Speaker 1: Are so clever.

344
00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:29,040
Speaker 5: All right, here are your words, and play along. If

345
00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:31,640
Speaker 5: you're in the car, try and remember as many as

346
00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:31,960
Speaker 5: you can.

347
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:32,720
Speaker 1: Put the pen down.

348
00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:33,040
Speaker 4: Fits.

349
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:39,120
Speaker 5: You're not allowed to write them down. Okay, Boat, don't

350
00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:39,760
Speaker 5: repeat them.

351
00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:43,040
Speaker 1: I knew you would muck this up for me. No,

352
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:44,800
Speaker 1: don't be annoying.

353
00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:48,720
Speaker 4: You've got to associate. This is an association game to go.

354
00:16:48,840 --> 00:17:01,240
Speaker 5: Okay, let's not talk about every word. Boat, coffee, coffee, camera, camera, pencil, veranda.

355
00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:06,040
Speaker 5: I'm gone already, whale too quick?

356
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:13,159
Speaker 1: Oh, whale. Oh, that's not what you meant l.

357
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:24,160
Speaker 5: Tattoo, tattoo, cloud, veggie might and one of my favorite

358
00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:26,560
Speaker 5: words of all time, Michael.

359
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:28,560
Speaker 1: Discuss.

360
00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:31,680
Speaker 5: All right, so they are the words. I'm not going

361
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:33,119
Speaker 5: to repeat them. Let's see how we go.

362
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:35,800
Speaker 1: Don't stress out about trying to remember them. Let's see if.

363
00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:37,480
Speaker 5: They flow back into your body. And we're going to

364
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:39,000
Speaker 5: test your memory next.

365
00:17:40,119 --> 00:17:41,720
Speaker 2: Very exciting the memory tester as began.

366
00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:42,520
Speaker 1: You love a game.

367
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:45,080
Speaker 5: Hopefully you're playing along in the car and you would

368
00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:50,159
Speaker 5: have heard the ten words that I read out that

369
00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:51,840
Speaker 5: you had to put in your little memory bank. But

370
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:54,720
Speaker 5: don't stress out about it, because this professor and Cambridge

371
00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:55,960
Speaker 5: is saying, that's what can.

372
00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:57,280
Speaker 1: Make us forget in the first place.

373
00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:58,119
Speaker 2: How do you want to do this?

374
00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:00,199
Speaker 1: Well, what I want to do.

375
00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:02,080
Speaker 5: How I want to do it is to have you

376
00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:04,480
Speaker 5: stay right out of it until I point to you

377
00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:08,399
Speaker 5: and then you speak, Okay, I've read the words. Maybe

378
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:11,200
Speaker 5: we just go one for one, So FITZI, you tell

379
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:13,080
Speaker 5: me a word you remember, then we'll go to whipper

380
00:18:13,119 --> 00:18:16,240
Speaker 5: and we'll see how long we last and how maybe Okay,

381
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:17,720
Speaker 5: you're ready to go.

382
00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:21,760
Speaker 3: Now I've walked in with a new demeanor on Cockney,

383
00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:26,000
Speaker 3: shine your shoes for you for fifty four.

384
00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:28,560
Speaker 1: That's good. I've never heard that one. Come out of

385
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:29,200
Speaker 1: your maut.

386
00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:34,800
Speaker 5: All right, we'll start with whip.

387
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,720
Speaker 1: Tell me a word of the ten words that you

388
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:39,240
Speaker 1: happen to remember.

389
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:41,000
Speaker 2: Coffee.

390
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:42,879
Speaker 5: Well, you just gave me one and you read it

391
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:45,080
Speaker 5: off the list, so yes, fits.

392
00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:51,000
Speaker 1: Boat that was the first word. Is that why it's

393
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,200
Speaker 1: sticking in your head? Tommy? Are you playing with just John?

394
00:18:54,119 --> 00:19:01,520
Speaker 1: All right? Good whip discuss excellent? Damn it fits excellent.

395
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:05,240
Speaker 2: We're tattoo fits.

396
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:11,080
Speaker 1: Come on, mate, you've had two words penny for your thoughts?

397
00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:16,240
Speaker 4: Have done that one. I've got to walk in with

398
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,240
Speaker 4: a new demeanor another one try.

399
00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:21,160
Speaker 5: And this is what's happening now. You're trying to think

400
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:25,920
Speaker 5: too hard and your mind is blank. It's the stress

401
00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:28,399
Speaker 5: you're now putting on your mind too. Remember that's making

402
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:28,959
Speaker 5: you forget.

403
00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:31,480
Speaker 4: So I've just got to let go. Is that what?

404
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:34,560
Speaker 1: We don't let go completely? Because I miss in the studio?

405
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:42,120
Speaker 1: No fits? Come on, cake, No, I'm.

406
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:44,200
Speaker 5: Sorry, Okay, I'm just going to count you out now.

407
00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:50,119
Speaker 5: Whipper whale excellent, come on, whipper.

408
00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:52,680
Speaker 2: Pencil.

409
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:56,280
Speaker 1: Yes, my god, I wouldn't have thought this, come on.

410
00:19:59,200 --> 00:19:59,640
Speaker 4: Cloud.

411
00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:03,280
Speaker 1: Oh my wow, there's only two.

412
00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:12,960
Speaker 5: Words to go, was Cameron, Oh you only have one

413
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:18,960
Speaker 5: word of the ten words of the ten words breasts.

414
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:22,119
Speaker 1: Now I'm no one trying to give you a clue.

415
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:25,040
Speaker 3: The girls, the girls gave you clothes the whole time,

416
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:28,840
Speaker 3: and Veranda was the last rand.

417
00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:32,120
Speaker 2: Why are you doing that around your boobs?

418
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:34,600
Speaker 1: Well it's a ladies Verandah, is it not.

419
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:39,480
Speaker 2: It's in Whippa with Kate Ritchie is a Nova podcast

420
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:43,040
Speaker 2: walk great shows like this. Download the Nova Player, Fire,

421
00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:44,760
Speaker 2: the App Store or Google Playing