WEBVTT - #2032 Creating New Habits - Bobby Cappuccio 0:00:00.360 --> 0:00:02.680 I've got to add to them. It's taps, it's the 0:00:02.720 --> 0:00:07.160 You project, It's myself and Robert Capuccio, who rocks up 0:00:07.200 --> 0:00:09.280 every Thursday at my joint. And when I say it 0:00:09.360 --> 0:00:12.160 rocks up, I'm talking virtually rocks up and just appears 0:00:12.200 --> 0:00:15.800 like a little body ferret out of a cage, although 0:00:15.840 --> 0:00:18.200 that's not where ferret should be, a ferret out of 0:00:18.239 --> 0:00:21.480 a tunnel in the ground, a virtual tunnel in the ground. 0:00:21.720 --> 0:00:23.880 There's a little bit of ferret about you, you know that, 0:00:24.160 --> 0:00:26.000 like in a loving way. You've got a bit of 0:00:26.160 --> 0:00:28.440 ferret energy. 0:00:28.800 --> 0:00:30.800 Are you saying you suspect they steal things? 0:00:31.880 --> 0:00:32.839 Is that what ferrets do? 0:00:33.720 --> 0:00:37.279 They did they're incredible thieves. Apparently you could train them 0:00:37.280 --> 0:00:38.360 to neck nearly anything. 0:00:39.320 --> 0:00:43.720 Ah well, who knew? Are they? Is that something that 0:00:43.800 --> 0:00:46.760 criminals do? They have ferrets that they train up gangs 0:00:46.760 --> 0:00:49.680 of ferrets to just run in the streets nicking things 0:00:49.680 --> 0:00:50.240 of value. 0:00:51.680 --> 0:00:55.800 According to my teaste in cinema, Yes, a long time ago, 0:00:55.840 --> 0:00:59.560 like one hundred years ago, people had well trained ferrets. 0:01:00.000 --> 0:01:02.320 I'm not going to steal anything from yours. It's a sandwich. 0:01:03.200 --> 0:01:05.160 Yeah, well, I feel like the ferret's going to eat 0:01:05.160 --> 0:01:08.120 the sandwich before you get that. But I feel like 0:01:08.280 --> 0:01:13.200 I could be hallucinating that. Somewhere back in the cognitive 0:01:13.319 --> 0:01:17.240 archives is a recollection of a ferret that used to 0:01:17.280 --> 0:01:20.880 steal money and bring it back to its owner. Like 0:01:21.000 --> 0:01:23.400 quite a lot of money used to go into people's homes, 0:01:23.520 --> 0:01:26.840 steal passion, bring it pack. Is that possible or do 0:01:26.959 --> 0:01:27.880 I just make that up? 0:01:29.240 --> 0:01:31.479 I don't know, I've only seen it in films, but yeah, 0:01:31.640 --> 0:01:34.240 I'm sure if they're really well trained and they're good 0:01:34.240 --> 0:01:36.800 at it, and they're kind of small, so you can't 0:01:36.800 --> 0:01:38.840 really you know, it's not like they attract a lot 0:01:38.840 --> 0:01:40.160 of attention to ferret, would they. 0:01:40.720 --> 0:01:43.000 Yeah, And imagine trying a fingerprint a ferret down at 0:01:43.040 --> 0:01:44.919 the police station. I mean, that's going to be tricky, 0:01:44.959 --> 0:01:46.560 isn't it. How are you going to do that? Like 0:01:47.160 --> 0:01:48.920 it's going to get through the bars. You put him 0:01:48.960 --> 0:01:50.320 in the cell or her in the cell, they're going 0:01:50.360 --> 0:01:51.560 to be out at a minute. 0:01:52.440 --> 0:01:55.200 No apposable thumbs, Like where do they put the ink? 0:01:55.400 --> 0:01:56.560 It's just it's a mess. 0:01:56.880 --> 0:01:59.000 Yeah, imagine trying to handcuff that little fucker. 0:02:00.040 --> 0:02:02.640 That's why I so few frereks actually get prosecuted. You 0:02:02.720 --> 0:02:05.560 never hear about that in the paper. It's just too difficult, spices. 0:02:05.560 --> 0:02:09.080 We'll just let them go. Hopefully they take that act 0:02:09.120 --> 0:02:13.200 of grace and use it to change their thieving waste. 0:02:14.480 --> 0:02:17.920 Well, everybody's just jumped out, how are you, bro? What 0:02:18.000 --> 0:02:19.959 time is it over there? Where are you in San 0:02:19.960 --> 0:02:20.880 Diego at the moment? 0:02:21.639 --> 0:02:24.600 I mean San Diego? So what time is it? Right? Yeah, 0:02:24.840 --> 0:02:27.000 it's eighteen forty four. 0:02:27.800 --> 0:02:31.240 So it's oh, it's in the PM. It's called it 0:02:31.280 --> 0:02:33.079 to seven is for you. It's called it to one 0:02:33.160 --> 0:02:36.880 ish also in the PM. But we are Thursday are 0:02:36.960 --> 0:02:41.919 Wednesday evening. We would chatting in the bat. We're chatting 0:02:41.960 --> 0:02:44.240 a little bit before we went live about the idea 0:02:44.440 --> 0:02:48.160 of something that I talked to about about people a lot. 0:02:48.200 --> 0:02:50.560 Also something that's been an issue for me over the years, 0:02:52.520 --> 0:02:54.400 and something that I spoke about. I was going to say, 0:02:54.440 --> 0:02:57.560 yesterday wasn't yesterday, It was the day before. In I 0:02:57.600 --> 0:02:59.280 was in Brisbane. I was talking to a room full 0:02:59.320 --> 0:03:02.600 of lawyers out to my lawyer friends that I met 0:03:02.600 --> 0:03:06.360 the other day, and we were talking about habits and 0:03:06.520 --> 0:03:12.240 patterns of behavior and almost like this unconscious programming that 0:03:12.440 --> 0:03:16.839 runs our life to an extent that may or may 0:03:16.880 --> 0:03:21.920 not work, like the auto pilotleness of our existence or 0:03:21.960 --> 0:03:27.120 the groundhog dayness of these repetitious thoughts and beliefs and 0:03:27.200 --> 0:03:32.880 ideas and behaviors and results that kind of are not optimal. 0:03:33.000 --> 0:03:36.840 So in that kind of whole wheelhouse of you know, 0:03:36.920 --> 0:03:39.160 like everyone who listens to this show, if not everyone, 0:03:39.200 --> 0:03:41.640 nearly everyone wants to think better, do better, create better, 0:03:41.680 --> 0:03:43.720 Which is why people tune in is to figure out 0:03:44.200 --> 0:03:46.400 how do I change my thinking and my habits and 0:03:46.400 --> 0:03:49.960 my behaviors and my lifestyle and my results, and how 0:03:49.960 --> 0:03:53.200 do I be a better version of me whatever that means, 0:03:53.280 --> 0:03:57.640 how do I succeed whatever success means for me individually? 0:03:59.800 --> 0:04:04.320 And you know, I guess trying to have enough self 0:04:04.400 --> 0:04:09.160 awareness to recognize the stuff that you do that doesn't work, Like, 0:04:09.240 --> 0:04:11.480 what is the thing that I do that really is 0:04:12.120 --> 0:04:15.640 hardwired into my normal operating system, that is, on a 0:04:15.720 --> 0:04:18.240 level a form of self sabotage, you know. So an 0:04:18.279 --> 0:04:20.680 obvious one for me was for about twenty years just 0:04:21.400 --> 0:04:25.640 eating everything that wasn't fucking nailed down, despite the fact 0:04:25.640 --> 0:04:28.040 that I didn't need more food. I just wanted more food. 0:04:28.080 --> 0:04:30.479 I just ate more food. I just enjoyed more food, 0:04:31.080 --> 0:04:33.840 because I had, if not a food addiction, something in 0:04:33.880 --> 0:04:37.200 the zip code of a food addiction, you know. But 0:04:37.320 --> 0:04:41.080 you can't change what you can't acknowledge or you can't 0:04:41.080 --> 0:04:46.200 own up to. Is this something that you talk to 0:04:46.240 --> 0:04:49.440 people about. Is this something that you've had to navigate yourself? 0:04:49.760 --> 0:04:51.920 And if so, how do you go about it? 0:04:53.600 --> 0:04:55.080 I mean, this is a big part of what I 0:04:55.120 --> 0:04:58.120 talk to people about, but it's also something that I've 0:04:58.120 --> 0:05:01.640 had to utilize in my life frameworks. Guy, as you know, 0:05:02.160 --> 0:05:04.240 So I have a whole model around this, and it's 0:05:04.279 --> 0:05:06.400 you know, it's basically what you would find in any 0:05:06.440 --> 0:05:10.480 habit model, except a couple of other elements that kind 0:05:10.520 --> 0:05:15.000 of connect it to certain things that increase the probability 0:05:15.000 --> 0:05:20.320 of starting and doing something until it becomes a sustainable behavior. 0:05:20.720 --> 0:05:24.560 I mean, with turettes, I'm easily distracted, you know, Like 0:05:24.960 --> 0:05:27.360 my my attention span is kind of like a ferret. 0:05:27.600 --> 0:05:30.479 If you put that instead of training that ferret for 0:05:30.520 --> 0:05:33.200 a life of crime, you put that ferret on cocaine, 0:05:33.440 --> 0:05:36.320 which is also a very unethical thing to do to 0:05:36.360 --> 0:05:38.880 a ferret. But my brain kind of works the way 0:05:38.920 --> 0:05:40.400 a ferret on cocaine. 0:05:40.720 --> 0:05:41.560 That brain need. 0:05:41.480 --> 0:05:43.960 Work, so for me, if I don't have models, if 0:05:43.960 --> 0:05:48.039 I don't have rituals, if I don't have intentionality, I'm 0:05:48.240 --> 0:05:52.400 like completely all over the shop. So this is something 0:05:52.440 --> 0:05:54.720 that's extremely important to me. 0:05:55.640 --> 0:06:00.160 Do you think that the is the mind bear, it's 0:06:00.160 --> 0:06:03.200 the main barrier to starting? Just the fact that it's hard, 0:06:03.279 --> 0:06:06.240 or it's uncomfortable, or it's unfamiliar, or it's uncertain. 0:06:06.400 --> 0:06:07.160 Is it? 0:06:07.279 --> 0:06:12.279 That? Is it? Just because even though the thing, even 0:06:12.360 --> 0:06:14.960 though I'm not producing the results I want to produce, 0:06:15.160 --> 0:06:17.680 even though I'm not in the health state that I 0:06:17.760 --> 0:06:19.680 want to be in or the job or the income 0:06:19.800 --> 0:06:23.120 or the whatever, I'm kind of familiar with it. So 0:06:23.200 --> 0:06:25.680 there's a kind of an ease to it. Is that 0:06:25.800 --> 0:06:26.760 part of the challenge? 0:06:28.120 --> 0:06:30.040 Yeah, I would imagine that is part of the challenge. 0:06:30.080 --> 0:06:33.040 I was thinking, like the key to or the lock 0:06:33.200 --> 0:06:37.440 on any type of transformation begins with awareness, and I 0:06:37.480 --> 0:06:39.760 think it's a lack of self awareness. Why do I 0:06:39.800 --> 0:06:43.360 even want to start this? What am I expecting? Am 0:06:43.360 --> 0:06:46.240 I prepared for what it takes? Why do I even 0:06:46.279 --> 0:06:47.880 do the habits that I want to break in the 0:06:47.920 --> 0:06:51.599 first place? I think the first step is examining that 0:06:52.240 --> 0:06:56.320 because that is your level of intentionality that'll teach you 0:06:56.320 --> 0:06:59.480 a lot about your environment, the rewards you're seeking. I 0:06:59.480 --> 0:07:02.560 also think we're not really aware of what it takes 0:07:02.560 --> 0:07:06.160 to get started. Like bj Fok in Tiny Habits talks 0:07:06.200 --> 0:07:11.320 about breaking it down to the most ridiculous. I think 0:07:11.360 --> 0:07:12.960 for a lot of people, it's like, Okay, I got 0:07:13.000 --> 0:07:17.040 to overhaul my entire life right now, and they're not 0:07:17.280 --> 0:07:20.000 really contemplate. Okay, well, what do I have to sacrifice? 0:07:20.040 --> 0:07:23.800 Am I prepared to sacrifice that? Where a tiny habit 0:07:23.880 --> 0:07:24.200 would be. 0:07:24.240 --> 0:07:24.600 Okay? 0:07:24.720 --> 0:07:28.160 I want to become an expert in this subject matter, 0:07:28.280 --> 0:07:29.960 so I'm going to need to start to read and 0:07:30.000 --> 0:07:33.600 study and explore. Sometimes a great place to start is 0:07:33.640 --> 0:07:37.880 five minutes a day because just starting it's like, oh wow, okay, one, 0:07:38.400 --> 0:07:40.520 I've proven to myself I can do it. 0:07:41.000 --> 0:07:41.280 Two. 0:07:41.440 --> 0:07:45.760 Once I start exploring something, I open that book, it's 0:07:45.800 --> 0:07:47.160 almost like an open. 0:07:47.000 --> 0:07:47.920 Loop in your brain. 0:07:47.960 --> 0:07:52.720 You ever have this experience where you just cannot start something, 0:07:53.120 --> 0:07:55.720 but once you start it, you got to go on 0:07:55.760 --> 0:07:58.320 the road and you got to go give a seminar somewhere, 0:07:58.440 --> 0:08:00.440 And whilst you're on the road, you know, if you 0:08:00.440 --> 0:08:02.440 didn't start, it would be out of your mind. But 0:08:02.560 --> 0:08:06.760 because you already started it, but it's incomplete. It drives 0:08:06.760 --> 0:08:09.760 you crazy a little bit, and just like you're thinking about, oh, 0:08:09.800 --> 0:08:11.520 I can't wait to get back from being on the 0:08:11.560 --> 0:08:13.480 road because I've got to complete this. 0:08:13.960 --> 0:08:16.200 Does that happen to you that kind of like open 0:08:16.280 --> 0:08:17.240 loop scenario? 0:08:18.040 --> 0:08:23.040 Yeah? Sometimes sometimes I find also that the days that 0:08:23.160 --> 0:08:30.960 I am busier, I'm way more I'm way more efficient, 0:08:31.080 --> 0:08:34.360 I'm way more motivated, I'm way more productive. And I 0:08:34.400 --> 0:08:36.880 know that sounds dumb, but what I mean is, like 0:08:37.200 --> 0:08:41.640 I was talking to you, Sam, Yeah, we're not full disclosure, 0:08:41.679 --> 0:08:44.280 but partial disclosure everyone. I've had a few challenges. My 0:08:44.320 --> 0:08:47.280 dad's beene a bit crook, right, So anyway, I've been 0:08:47.400 --> 0:08:50.120 up in more Well, which is four hours of driving 0:08:50.160 --> 0:08:52.600 two hours each way. I was there all day yesterday, 0:08:53.200 --> 0:08:54.720 which is the place that I want to be, but 0:08:54.760 --> 0:08:56.760 I was in hospital with dad all day yesterday. And 0:08:56.800 --> 0:08:59.000 so what that means is there's about fifty things that 0:08:59.040 --> 0:09:01.720 I didn't do yesterday that I should have done, right, 0:09:02.320 --> 0:09:04.920 And so that's cool, but obviously he's the priority, so 0:09:04.960 --> 0:09:07.720 that it doesn't matter. But what that meant was last 0:09:07.800 --> 0:09:10.280 night I got home and I think I did. 0:09:10.080 --> 0:09:14.040 About eight hours of things in three hours, and I 0:09:14.040 --> 0:09:17.520 did it really quite easily, because in my mind it 0:09:17.600 --> 0:09:20.079 is like, well, Craig, this is you don't you don't 0:09:20.080 --> 0:09:20.679 have an option. 0:09:20.800 --> 0:09:24.199 You need to get this done. And it's like I think, 0:09:24.240 --> 0:09:27.200 I give my like if I've got three things to 0:09:27.280 --> 0:09:29.640 do today and it's not a busy day and there's 0:09:29.679 --> 0:09:32.960 no real pressure, there's no deadline. I'm not recording a podcast, 0:09:32.960 --> 0:09:36.360 I'm not doing a gig, I'm not traveling anywhere. It 0:09:36.440 --> 0:09:39.440 really doesn't matter. I'll look up it's three o'clock and 0:09:39.520 --> 0:09:43.520 I've done fucking nothing. Like people think I'm so busy 0:09:43.520 --> 0:09:47.200 and I'm so efficient, and I'm not like I can be. 0:09:48.200 --> 0:09:52.200 But it's it's like almost this this subconscious knowing or 0:09:52.240 --> 0:09:55.200 this conscious knowing. I don't have to be productive, so 0:09:55.280 --> 0:09:58.439 I'm not. But it's like you know when you when 0:09:58.480 --> 0:10:01.040 I travel into state, like I said, day Monday, Tuesday, 0:10:02.080 --> 0:10:08.000 you know, plan strains, automobiles and presentations and meetings, and 0:10:09.080 --> 0:10:12.320 you know I am so efficient and so organized in 0:10:12.360 --> 0:10:18.400 that context, but there's this like almost subconscious part of 0:10:18.400 --> 0:10:21.320 my brain where I don't need to be that today 0:10:21.360 --> 0:10:24.520 and I don't choose to be less productive. I just 0:10:24.679 --> 0:10:29.439 am it's like I sabotage myself. But maybe maybe having 0:10:29.520 --> 0:10:31.800 days where I'm less productive is actually what I need. 0:10:31.880 --> 0:10:32.680 Who knows. 0:10:34.000 --> 0:10:34.520 It could be. 0:10:34.720 --> 0:10:36.800 I noticed that I'm far more productive when I'm in 0:10:36.840 --> 0:10:40.160 perpetual motion. It could have something to do with dopamine, 0:10:40.200 --> 0:10:43.840 because it's goal focused and there's all these things you 0:10:43.920 --> 0:10:47.520 got to do, and every time you're completing something, you're 0:10:47.559 --> 0:10:50.439 getting another head of dopamine. So you're producing dopamine, You're 0:10:50.440 --> 0:10:52.359 activating the ventulustra atom. 0:10:52.160 --> 0:10:53.520 To anticipate reward. 0:10:54.120 --> 0:10:59.040 Orbital frontal cortex is scanning your environment for other goal achieving, 0:10:59.280 --> 0:11:03.040 you know, rather than tension relieving activities for that particular day. 0:11:03.440 --> 0:11:04.679 So I think it has a lot to. 0:11:04.600 --> 0:11:08.400 Do with the dupaminergic system and just the overall momentum 0:11:08.880 --> 0:11:11.120 in general. When I have a little bit of pressure 0:11:11.160 --> 0:11:13.080 on me, And that also makes sense from a stress 0:11:13.080 --> 0:11:17.559 hormone level, elev nor epanaphorin epinafferin you're just going to 0:11:17.600 --> 0:11:19.920 be in a different state than if you're in first 0:11:20.040 --> 0:11:23.440 gear for like twenty four hours, if you will. 0:11:24.520 --> 0:11:28.120 I think also for me, there's the micro and the macro. 0:11:28.240 --> 0:11:30.440 The micro of my life is what I'm doing now 0:11:30.520 --> 0:11:33.000 in this moment. I'm talking to Bobby in this moment 0:11:33.080 --> 0:11:36.640 at twelve fifty three in Melbourne on a Thursday. Right now, 0:11:37.320 --> 0:11:39.840 I've got a coffee here, I've got my computer in 0:11:39.880 --> 0:11:42.439 front of me. You know, I know that we've got 0:11:42.440 --> 0:11:44.920 about thirty minutes more to go. This is the micro, 0:11:45.160 --> 0:11:47.880 but the macro is well. I've got this company called 0:11:47.880 --> 0:11:50.480 the You Project. We've got two thousand episodes of this 0:11:51.200 --> 0:11:54.440 this podcast. I'm finishing my PhD. I've got parents who 0:11:54.520 --> 0:11:57.839 are that, you know. And then there's like, what's I think? 0:11:57.880 --> 0:12:01.240 Because there is the macro and the micro, so that 0:12:01.400 --> 0:12:03.840 most of the time our head is in the microw 0:12:04.240 --> 0:12:06.319 the micro the what am I doing now? What can 0:12:06.360 --> 0:12:09.280 I get now? What feels good now? What tastes good now? 0:12:09.480 --> 0:12:13.000 What's comfortable now? What can I avoid now and do later? 0:12:13.600 --> 0:12:17.079 Like I wrote this thing the other day on social media, 0:12:17.840 --> 0:12:20.680 and it's just it's just a whiteboard thing and there's 0:12:20.720 --> 0:12:24.040 four words and the four words are tomorrow, soon, Monday, 0:12:24.440 --> 0:12:27.440 and January one. And the message is these are the 0:12:27.480 --> 0:12:31.920 fourth most popular times to start any kind of personal transformation. 0:12:32.880 --> 0:12:37.400 So tomorrow, soon, Monday, January one. Interestingly, today doesn't make 0:12:37.440 --> 0:12:41.480 the top ten You know, the funny thing is that, like, 0:12:41.960 --> 0:12:44.680 how many times have somebody said to you, hey, Bobby, 0:12:44.720 --> 0:12:47.560 how do I do this? Or you know, at the 0:12:47.600 --> 0:12:50.920 risk of sounding cliche, I'm probably the single question I've 0:12:50.960 --> 0:12:54.080 been asked most is essentially how do I get lean 0:12:54.200 --> 0:12:56.240 or how do I get fit right? That's or a 0:12:56.360 --> 0:13:00.400 version of that question. I've been asked a million different questions, 0:13:00.400 --> 0:13:04.360 brain questions, human behavior questions, but over the totality of 0:13:04.400 --> 0:13:06.840 my career, it's from the eight and year old gym 0:13:06.880 --> 0:13:11.640 instructor to now. And more than half of the time 0:13:11.679 --> 0:13:14.560 when I tell people or I give them advice, you know, 0:13:14.600 --> 0:13:17.160 I go, look, here are some things to think about. 0:13:18.840 --> 0:13:21.840 It's virtually never that they're going to start that today, 0:13:22.679 --> 0:13:25.960 Like it's always thanks, you know, it's always going to 0:13:25.960 --> 0:13:28.480 be soon or tomorrow or Monday or January one, but 0:13:28.559 --> 0:13:32.200 it's never now. And it just interests me because the 0:13:32.280 --> 0:13:34.640 issue is now, Like I have an issue now. I 0:13:34.640 --> 0:13:37.240 don't have an issue next Monday. I have an issue now. 0:13:37.280 --> 0:13:39.400 I'm like, we have an issue now, so start now. 0:13:39.800 --> 0:13:41.720 And you've got an answer now, or you've got at 0:13:41.800 --> 0:13:45.040 least the very least you've got some direction, or you've 0:13:45.080 --> 0:13:47.880 got a framework or you've got some kind of resource 0:13:47.960 --> 0:13:51.920 or tool or strategy, so start now. And it's so 0:13:52.200 --> 0:13:56.240 funny when I and I generally don't push people, but 0:13:56.320 --> 0:13:57.920 every now and then I'm like, well, why wouldn't you 0:13:58.000 --> 0:14:01.920 start this today? And you can just see people cognitively 0:14:02.120 --> 0:14:08.760 scrambling for some kind of rationale Bobby, not today, because 0:14:08.880 --> 0:14:13.000 fucking any day, but today, and then because every you know, 0:14:13.400 --> 0:14:16.400 we never live in any place but the present, so 0:14:16.440 --> 0:14:19.240 it's always going to be sometime in the future that 0:14:19.320 --> 0:14:20.440 place we never inhabit. 0:14:21.720 --> 0:14:25.480 I wonder if that has And by the way, I 0:14:25.560 --> 0:14:29.720 have been exercising for my entire life and I have 0:14:29.920 --> 0:14:33.520 run into the same Oh my goodness, you know what 0:14:33.640 --> 0:14:37.400 I've eaten this today? Tomorrow I'm going to and it's like, dude, right, 0:14:37.440 --> 0:14:39.520 what are you doing? It's like, so I do a 0:14:39.520 --> 0:14:42.920 lot of the same things, although I'm really good at 0:14:42.960 --> 0:14:46.720 starting back up and staying consistent for a while. Yeah, 0:14:46.720 --> 0:14:51.040 but I do have that pattern. And I wonder for 0:14:51.240 --> 0:14:54.480 people if it goes back to that all or nothing 0:14:55.080 --> 0:14:59.040 type of mentality, going back to bj fog where it's 0:14:59.040 --> 0:15:01.880 almost like, hey, if you you could do one small 0:15:02.120 --> 0:15:08.040 thing starting like today, now, what do you think would 0:15:08.040 --> 0:15:11.840 be an accessible behavior that might support that health and 0:15:11.880 --> 0:15:14.720 fitness goal of whatever it is that they said that 0:15:14.760 --> 0:15:18.480 they were trying to do. And I know that I 0:15:18.600 --> 0:15:23.840 was once attending this class on food science and this 0:15:23.960 --> 0:15:27.320 medical doctor shoes brilliant, and what she had people do 0:15:27.960 --> 0:15:31.000 was just eat whatever you're normally gonna eat, but just 0:15:31.360 --> 0:15:35.000 pay attention to what it is, be mindful, and add 0:15:35.040 --> 0:15:38.400 plants to it or add vegetables, just throw it on. 0:15:38.920 --> 0:15:42.880 It's like, oh, that's very specific. That's like every single meal. 0:15:43.480 --> 0:15:46.200 There's no way to get that wrong. It's either I 0:15:46.240 --> 0:15:48.920 did it or I didn't do it, so there's no ambiguity. 0:15:49.320 --> 0:15:51.720 Oh and I can start that today. And once they 0:15:51.800 --> 0:15:56.440 start that at a very small level, they start to 0:15:56.600 --> 0:16:01.680 shift their identity from someone who who doesn't do any 0:16:01.680 --> 0:16:05.760 health and fitness supporting behaviors to someone who does. And 0:16:05.840 --> 0:16:09.280 it's a lot easier jump making bigger and bigger commitments 0:16:09.320 --> 0:16:12.520 from that because a lot of habits, you know, James 0:16:12.560 --> 0:16:16.960 Clear and Atomic Habits talks about this where it relates. 0:16:16.600 --> 0:16:17.560 To your identity. 0:16:18.080 --> 0:16:22.800 Like imagine you got cast as the leading role in 0:16:22.880 --> 0:16:26.560 a major blockbuster film that they're producing, and you were 0:16:26.600 --> 0:16:31.200 playing the role of a lead character who just engaged 0:16:31.280 --> 0:16:34.120 in health and fitness type behaviors. Let's say you had 0:16:34.120 --> 0:16:37.880 a job that was really demanding and because of that, 0:16:38.200 --> 0:16:42.239 you had to elicit top peak levels of emotional, physical, 0:16:42.720 --> 0:16:46.640 cognitive performance. What would that person eat? How often would 0:16:46.640 --> 0:16:49.920 they go to the gym? Would they just like skip workouts? 0:16:50.320 --> 0:16:53.280 Would they just be like eating sugar and ultra processed 0:16:53.320 --> 0:16:56.800 foods every single day, every single meal? 0:16:56.920 --> 0:17:02.040 Like? What is that character? And where could you start? 0:17:02.160 --> 0:17:05.960 Because every time you engage in that behavior, that's could ruin. 0:17:05.920 --> 0:17:09.360 It's a vote for your identity of who you're becoming. 0:17:09.400 --> 0:17:10.480 And that's that's kind. 0:17:10.359 --> 0:17:14.240 Of a powerful way to look at habit formation as well. 0:17:14.240 --> 0:17:17.560 But I think I think where the real magic is 0:17:17.560 --> 0:17:20.160 is looking at what you. 0:17:20.240 --> 0:17:23.480 Currently do that you want to stop doing. 0:17:23.560 --> 0:17:26.359 I think there's a lot of valuable information and we 0:17:26.480 --> 0:17:28.040 just go to, oh, I don't want. 0:17:27.920 --> 0:17:30.040 To do this, I'd rather do this, but what we'll 0:17:30.400 --> 0:17:31.000 come back. 0:17:31.320 --> 0:17:34.199 There's a lot to learn from what you're already doing 0:17:34.600 --> 0:17:37.119 if you can look at it with some objectivity. 0:17:38.160 --> 0:17:40.040 And I think and that is the that is the 0:17:40.400 --> 0:17:42.760 ever present challenge, Like how do you look at your 0:17:42.760 --> 0:17:45.560 own shit with objectivity? When everything that you look at 0:17:45.680 --> 0:17:50.360 is the subjective looking is subjectively. You know your window, 0:17:50.520 --> 0:17:52.679 and I know what you're saying. I think part of 0:17:52.720 --> 0:17:56.600 it is for me. And this is again, this is 0:17:56.760 --> 0:17:59.000 This is not a recommendation or advice any on. This 0:17:59.119 --> 0:18:03.200 is just my experience. So I needed to try to understand, 0:18:03.240 --> 0:18:10.160 for example, my relationship with food and understand the emotion 0:18:10.920 --> 0:18:15.520 around food, and to start to you know, because we 0:18:15.720 --> 0:18:19.000 are It doesn't matter how how logical we are, how 0:18:19.040 --> 0:18:22.639 intelligent we are, how much we know you know the 0:18:22.720 --> 0:18:25.000 research da da da da da da da. When humans 0:18:25.040 --> 0:18:28.199 are emotional, generally, the emotion drives the behavior, not the 0:18:28.240 --> 0:18:30.960 mind right or not the logic, not the rational part 0:18:30.960 --> 0:18:34.240 of the brain. And so it's being able to say, listen, 0:18:34.960 --> 0:18:39.280 I struggle with this particular issue, with this habit, with 0:18:39.359 --> 0:18:43.119 this behavior, and it's it's quite emotionally driven, and it's 0:18:43.160 --> 0:18:45.760 driven out of fear, or it's driven out of resentment, 0:18:45.840 --> 0:18:48.840 or it's driven out of anxiety, or it's whatever it is, right, 0:18:49.160 --> 0:18:51.240 or it's driven out of a need to be comfortable 0:18:51.280 --> 0:18:54.040 in the moment. And so to try to turn down 0:18:54.080 --> 0:18:57.760 the emotion, recognize the emotion, feel the emotion. We're not 0:18:57.880 --> 0:19:01.280 denying how you feel, but trying to turn up the 0:19:01.359 --> 0:19:04.560 logic and strategy, knowing that in a minute, you're going 0:19:04.600 --> 0:19:07.000 to be five years older. Right, in a minute, bro, 0:19:07.920 --> 0:19:09.800 you're going to be five years older, and you're going 0:19:09.840 --> 0:19:13.160 to be probably unless something changes. Because by the way, 0:19:13.160 --> 0:19:16.240 you've been having a version of this conversation since two 0:19:16.320 --> 0:19:21.920 thousand and six. Right, So so if nothing changes, nothing changes, 0:19:22.080 --> 0:19:25.200 And being able to just like we would like, look 0:19:25.240 --> 0:19:29.679 at a business project or a financial endeavor, or you know, 0:19:29.800 --> 0:19:33.359 some kind of strategic thing that we're in the middle of. 0:19:33.600 --> 0:19:39.080 Imagine if we could take that analytical strategic thinking and 0:19:39.160 --> 0:19:42.840 apply it to the project that is us or we 0:19:42.920 --> 0:19:45.119 might even call it the U project, if there's a 0:19:45.240 --> 0:19:50.040 name for a show. Right, But being being able to go, yeah, 0:19:50.160 --> 0:19:55.560 I unless something changes based on my current trajectory in 0:19:55.600 --> 0:19:59.160 the last ten years and my current trajectory in five 0:19:59.240 --> 0:20:01.399 years or two years or five months, I'm going to 0:20:01.400 --> 0:20:04.639 be in a shit place. So is that where I 0:20:04.680 --> 0:20:08.480 want to be? No, and we're not talking about self loathing. 0:20:08.520 --> 0:20:11.080 I always say this, we're talking about self awareness. Don't 0:20:11.119 --> 0:20:14.080 beat yourself up, don't throw yourself under the metaphoric bus. 0:20:14.080 --> 0:20:16.480 We don't need that. That's not the point. You're not 0:20:16.520 --> 0:20:19.440 a bad human. You're not terrible, you're not weak, you're 0:20:19.440 --> 0:20:22.240 not shitouse, You're none of that. You're okay, you're human. 0:20:22.800 --> 0:20:25.440 But at the same time, this shit is not magic. 0:20:26.000 --> 0:20:30.360 You won't magically get better, you won't magically get lean, 0:20:30.480 --> 0:20:33.679 you won't magically get rich, you won't magically become a 0:20:33.760 --> 0:20:37.720 high performer, you won't magically build resilience. You need to 0:20:37.800 --> 0:20:40.880 do the fucking things that create the outcomes you want. 0:20:41.840 --> 0:20:44.359 And will you like it some of it? No? Will 0:20:44.359 --> 0:20:47.600 it be hard, fucking oath? Will it be fun? Probably 0:20:47.640 --> 0:20:51.359 not at times? And is that okay? You know? For 0:20:51.480 --> 0:20:55.240 me this is the like we can analyze and reanalyze 0:20:55.680 --> 0:20:58.400 upside down inside out. But at the end of the day, 0:20:59.240 --> 0:21:03.360 you know, knowing matters, but doing matters the most. You know, 0:21:03.520 --> 0:21:07.159 it's for me. It's just that I think that also, 0:21:07.320 --> 0:21:10.159 and I'll shut up after this, But I feel like 0:21:10.240 --> 0:21:12.000 for a lot of people, Bobby, there's got to be 0:21:13.119 --> 0:21:17.720 some internal shift, like something It shouldn't have to happen, 0:21:18.400 --> 0:21:21.320 because I think we have the capacity to do amazing things. 0:21:21.840 --> 0:21:25.320 But I like the times mostly where I've seen people 0:21:25.359 --> 0:21:30.320 do fucking mind blowing incredible things like life changing. I 0:21:30.359 --> 0:21:34.960 can't believe what they're doing and creating is often after 0:21:35.000 --> 0:21:39.280 there's been a catastrophe or a near catastrophe now and 0:21:39.320 --> 0:21:42.240 then all of a sudden, there's a reset in their brain. 0:21:42.800 --> 0:21:46.000 All of a sudden, they have a totally different perspective, 0:21:46.680 --> 0:21:50.199 They're looking through a different window. Their values have just 0:21:50.280 --> 0:21:53.520 been turned on their head, or at least their priorities 0:21:53.560 --> 0:21:56.199 have been turned up. So, oh fuck, you know what 0:21:56.280 --> 0:21:59.280 matters the most in my life is not dying. 0:22:00.320 --> 0:22:00.960