1
00:00:00,360 --> 00:00:02,680
Speaker 1: I've got to add to them. It's taps, it's the

2
00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:07,160
Speaker 1: You project, It's myself and Robert Capuccio, who rocks up

3
00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:09,280
Speaker 1: every Thursday at my joint. And when I say it

4
00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:12,160
Speaker 1: rocks up, I'm talking virtually rocks up and just appears

5
00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:15,800
Speaker 1: like a little body ferret out of a cage, although

6
00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:18,200
Speaker 1: that's not where ferret should be, a ferret out of

7
00:00:18,239 --> 00:00:21,480
Speaker 1: a tunnel in the ground, a virtual tunnel in the ground.

8
00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:23,880
Speaker 1: There's a little bit of ferret about you, you know that,

9
00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:26,000
Speaker 1: like in a loving way. You've got a bit of

10
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:28,440
Speaker 1: ferret energy.

11
00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:30,800
Speaker 2: Are you saying you suspect they steal things?

12
00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:32,839
Speaker 1: Is that what ferrets do?

13
00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:37,279
Speaker 3: They did they're incredible thieves. Apparently you could train them

14
00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:38,360
Speaker 3: to neck nearly anything.

15
00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:43,720
Speaker 1: Ah well, who knew? Are they? Is that something that

16
00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:46,760
Speaker 1: criminals do? They have ferrets that they train up gangs

17
00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:49,680
Speaker 1: of ferrets to just run in the streets nicking things

18
00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:50,240
Speaker 1: of value.

19
00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:55,800
Speaker 3: According to my teaste in cinema, Yes, a long time ago,

20
00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:59,560
Speaker 3: like one hundred years ago, people had well trained ferrets.

21
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,320
Speaker 2: I'm not going to steal anything from yours. It's a sandwich.

22
00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:05,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I feel like the ferret's going to eat

23
00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:08,120
Speaker 1: the sandwich before you get that. But I feel like

24
00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:13,200
Speaker 1: I could be hallucinating that. Somewhere back in the cognitive

25
00:01:13,319 --> 00:01:17,240
Speaker 1: archives is a recollection of a ferret that used to

26
00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:20,880
Speaker 1: steal money and bring it back to its owner. Like

27
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:23,400
Speaker 1: quite a lot of money used to go into people's homes,

28
00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:26,840
Speaker 1: steal passion, bring it pack. Is that possible or do

29
00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:27,880
Speaker 1: I just make that up?

30
00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:31,479
Speaker 3: I don't know, I've only seen it in films, but yeah,

31
00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:34,240
Speaker 3: I'm sure if they're really well trained and they're good

32
00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:36,800
Speaker 3: at it, and they're kind of small, so you can't

33
00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:38,840
Speaker 3: really you know, it's not like they attract a lot

34
00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:40,160
Speaker 3: of attention to ferret, would they.

35
00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:43,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, And imagine trying a fingerprint a ferret down at

36
00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:44,919
Speaker 1: the police station. I mean, that's going to be tricky,

37
00:01:44,959 --> 00:01:46,560
Speaker 1: isn't it. How are you going to do that? Like

38
00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:48,920
Speaker 1: it's going to get through the bars. You put him

39
00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:50,320
Speaker 1: in the cell or her in the cell, they're going

40
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:51,560
Speaker 1: to be out at a minute.

41
00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:55,200
Speaker 2: No apposable thumbs, Like where do they put the ink?

42
00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:56,560
Speaker 2: It's just it's a mess.

43
00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:59,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, imagine trying to handcuff that little fucker.

44
00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:02,640
Speaker 3: That's why I so few frereks actually get prosecuted. You

45
00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:05,560
Speaker 3: never hear about that in the paper. It's just too difficult, spices.

46
00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:09,080
Speaker 3: We'll just let them go. Hopefully they take that act

47
00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:13,200
Speaker 3: of grace and use it to change their thieving waste.

48
00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:17,920
Speaker 1: Well, everybody's just jumped out, how are you, bro? What

49
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,959
Speaker 1: time is it over there? Where are you in San

50
00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:20,880
Speaker 1: Diego at the moment?

51
00:02:21,639 --> 00:02:24,600
Speaker 2: I mean San Diego? So what time is it? Right? Yeah,

52
00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:27,000
Speaker 2: it's eighteen forty four.

53
00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:31,240
Speaker 1: So it's oh, it's in the PM. It's called it

54
00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:33,079
Speaker 1: to seven is for you. It's called it to one

55
00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:36,880
Speaker 1: ish also in the PM. But we are Thursday are

56
00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:41,919
Speaker 1: Wednesday evening. We would chatting in the bat. We're chatting

57
00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:44,240
Speaker 1: a little bit before we went live about the idea

58
00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:48,160
Speaker 1: of something that I talked to about about people a lot.

59
00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:50,560
Speaker 1: Also something that's been an issue for me over the years,

60
00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,400
Speaker 1: and something that I spoke about. I was going to say,

61
00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:57,560
Speaker 1: yesterday wasn't yesterday, It was the day before. In I

62
00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:59,280
Speaker 1: was in Brisbane. I was talking to a room full

63
00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:02,600
Speaker 1: of lawyers out to my lawyer friends that I met

64
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:06,360
Speaker 1: the other day, and we were talking about habits and

65
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:12,240
Speaker 1: patterns of behavior and almost like this unconscious programming that

66
00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:16,839
Speaker 1: runs our life to an extent that may or may

67
00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:21,920
Speaker 1: not work, like the auto pilotleness of our existence or

68
00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:27,120
Speaker 1: the groundhog dayness of these repetitious thoughts and beliefs and

69
00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:32,880
Speaker 1: ideas and behaviors and results that kind of are not optimal.

70
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:36,840
Speaker 1: So in that kind of whole wheelhouse of you know,

71
00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:39,160
Speaker 1: like everyone who listens to this show, if not everyone,

72
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:41,640
Speaker 1: nearly everyone wants to think better, do better, create better,

73
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,720
Speaker 1: Which is why people tune in is to figure out

74
00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:46,400
Speaker 1: how do I change my thinking and my habits and

75
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,960
Speaker 1: my behaviors and my lifestyle and my results, and how

76
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:53,200
Speaker 1: do I be a better version of me whatever that means,

77
00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:57,640
Speaker 1: how do I succeed whatever success means for me individually?

78
00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:04,320
Speaker 1: And you know, I guess trying to have enough self

79
00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:09,160
Speaker 1: awareness to recognize the stuff that you do that doesn't work, Like,

80
00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:11,480
Speaker 1: what is the thing that I do that really is

81
00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:15,640
Speaker 1: hardwired into my normal operating system, that is, on a

82
00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:18,240
Speaker 1: level a form of self sabotage, you know. So an

83
00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:20,680
Speaker 1: obvious one for me was for about twenty years just

84
00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:25,640
Speaker 1: eating everything that wasn't fucking nailed down, despite the fact

85
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:28,040
Speaker 1: that I didn't need more food. I just wanted more food.

86
00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:30,479
Speaker 1: I just ate more food. I just enjoyed more food,

87
00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:33,840
Speaker 1: because I had, if not a food addiction, something in

88
00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:37,200
Speaker 1: the zip code of a food addiction, you know. But

89
00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:41,080
Speaker 1: you can't change what you can't acknowledge or you can't

90
00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:46,200
Speaker 1: own up to. Is this something that you talk to

91
00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:49,440
Speaker 1: people about. Is this something that you've had to navigate yourself?

92
00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:51,920
Speaker 1: And if so, how do you go about it?

93
00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:55,080
Speaker 3: I mean, this is a big part of what I

94
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:58,120
Speaker 3: talk to people about, but it's also something that I've

95
00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:01,640
Speaker 3: had to utilize in my life frameworks. Guy, as you know,

96
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:04,240
Speaker 3: So I have a whole model around this, and it's

97
00:05:04,279 --> 00:05:06,400
Speaker 3: you know, it's basically what you would find in any

98
00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:10,480
Speaker 3: habit model, except a couple of other elements that kind

99
00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:15,000
Speaker 3: of connect it to certain things that increase the probability

100
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:20,320
Speaker 3: of starting and doing something until it becomes a sustainable behavior.

101
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:24,560
Speaker 3: I mean, with turettes, I'm easily distracted, you know, Like

102
00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:27,360
Speaker 3: my my attention span is kind of like a ferret.

103
00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:30,479
Speaker 3: If you put that instead of training that ferret for

104
00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:33,200
Speaker 3: a life of crime, you put that ferret on cocaine,

105
00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:36,320
Speaker 3: which is also a very unethical thing to do to

106
00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:38,880
Speaker 3: a ferret. But my brain kind of works the way

107
00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:40,400
Speaker 3: a ferret on cocaine.

108
00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:41,560
Speaker 2: That brain need.

109
00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:43,960
Speaker 3: Work, so for me, if I don't have models, if

110
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:48,039
Speaker 3: I don't have rituals, if I don't have intentionality, I'm

111
00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:52,400
Speaker 3: like completely all over the shop. So this is something

112
00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:54,720
Speaker 3: that's extremely important to me.

113
00:05:55,640 --> 00:06:00,160
Speaker 1: Do you think that the is the mind bear, it's

114
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:03,200
Speaker 1: the main barrier to starting? Just the fact that it's hard,

115
00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:06,240
Speaker 1: or it's uncomfortable, or it's unfamiliar, or it's uncertain.

116
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:07,160
Speaker 2: Is it?

117
00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:12,279
Speaker 1: That? Is it? Just because even though the thing, even

118
00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:14,960
Speaker 1: though I'm not producing the results I want to produce,

119
00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:17,680
Speaker 1: even though I'm not in the health state that I

120
00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:19,680
Speaker 1: want to be in or the job or the income

121
00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:23,120
Speaker 1: or the whatever, I'm kind of familiar with it. So

122
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,680
Speaker 1: there's a kind of an ease to it. Is that

123
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:26,760
Speaker 1: part of the challenge?

124
00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:30,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would imagine that is part of the challenge.

125
00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:33,040
Speaker 3: I was thinking, like the key to or the lock

126
00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:37,440
Speaker 3: on any type of transformation begins with awareness, and I

127
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,760
Speaker 3: think it's a lack of self awareness. Why do I

128
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:43,360
Speaker 3: even want to start this? What am I expecting? Am

129
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:46,240
Speaker 3: I prepared for what it takes? Why do I even

130
00:06:46,279 --> 00:06:47,880
Speaker 3: do the habits that I want to break in the

131
00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:51,599
Speaker 3: first place? I think the first step is examining that

132
00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:56,320
Speaker 3: because that is your level of intentionality that'll teach you

133
00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:59,480
Speaker 3: a lot about your environment, the rewards you're seeking. I

134
00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:02,560
Speaker 3: also think we're not really aware of what it takes

135
00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:06,160
Speaker 3: to get started. Like bj Fok in Tiny Habits talks

136
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:11,320
Speaker 3: about breaking it down to the most ridiculous. I think

137
00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:12,960
Speaker 3: for a lot of people, it's like, Okay, I got

138
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:17,040
Speaker 3: to overhaul my entire life right now, and they're not

139
00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:20,000
Speaker 3: really contemplate. Okay, well, what do I have to sacrifice?

140
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:23,800
Speaker 3: Am I prepared to sacrifice that? Where a tiny habit

141
00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:24,200
Speaker 3: would be.

142
00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:24,600
Speaker 2: Okay?

143
00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:28,160
Speaker 3: I want to become an expert in this subject matter,

144
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:29,960
Speaker 3: so I'm going to need to start to read and

145
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:33,600
Speaker 3: study and explore. Sometimes a great place to start is

146
00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:37,880
Speaker 3: five minutes a day because just starting it's like, oh wow, okay, one,

147
00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:40,520
Speaker 3: I've proven to myself I can do it.

148
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:41,280
Speaker 2: Two.

149
00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:45,760
Speaker 3: Once I start exploring something, I open that book, it's

150
00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:47,160
Speaker 3: almost like an open.

151
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:47,920
Speaker 2: Loop in your brain.

152
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:52,720
Speaker 3: You ever have this experience where you just cannot start something,

153
00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:55,720
Speaker 3: but once you start it, you got to go on

154
00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:58,320
Speaker 3: the road and you got to go give a seminar somewhere,

155
00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:00,440
Speaker 3: And whilst you're on the road, you know, if you

156
00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:02,440
Speaker 3: didn't start, it would be out of your mind. But

157
00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:06,760
Speaker 3: because you already started it, but it's incomplete. It drives

158
00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:09,760
Speaker 3: you crazy a little bit, and just like you're thinking about, oh,

159
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,520
Speaker 3: I can't wait to get back from being on the

160
00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:13,480
Speaker 3: road because I've got to complete this.

161
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:16,200
Speaker 2: Does that happen to you that kind of like open

162
00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:17,240
Speaker 2: loop scenario?

163
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:23,040
Speaker 1: Yeah? Sometimes sometimes I find also that the days that

164
00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:30,960
Speaker 1: I am busier, I'm way more I'm way more efficient,

165
00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:34,360
Speaker 1: I'm way more motivated, I'm way more productive. And I

166
00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:36,880
Speaker 1: know that sounds dumb, but what I mean is, like

167
00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:41,640
Speaker 1: I was talking to you, Sam, Yeah, we're not full disclosure,

168
00:08:41,679 --> 00:08:44,280
Speaker 1: but partial disclosure everyone. I've had a few challenges. My

169
00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:47,280
Speaker 1: dad's beene a bit crook, right, So anyway, I've been

170
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:50,120
Speaker 1: up in more Well, which is four hours of driving

171
00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:52,600
Speaker 1: two hours each way. I was there all day yesterday,

172
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,720
Speaker 1: which is the place that I want to be, but

173
00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:56,760
Speaker 1: I was in hospital with dad all day yesterday. And

174
00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:59,000
Speaker 1: so what that means is there's about fifty things that

175
00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:01,720
Speaker 1: I didn't do yesterday that I should have done, right,

176
00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:04,920
Speaker 1: And so that's cool, but obviously he's the priority, so

177
00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:07,720
Speaker 1: that it doesn't matter. But what that meant was last

178
00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:10,280
Speaker 1: night I got home and I think I did.

179
00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:14,040
Speaker 4: About eight hours of things in three hours, and I

180
00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:17,520
Speaker 4: did it really quite easily, because in my mind it

181
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:20,079
Speaker 4: is like, well, Craig, this is you don't you don't

182
00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:20,679
Speaker 4: have an option.

183
00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:24,199
Speaker 1: You need to get this done. And it's like I think,

184
00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:27,200
Speaker 1: I give my like if I've got three things to

185
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:29,640
Speaker 1: do today and it's not a busy day and there's

186
00:09:29,679 --> 00:09:32,960
Speaker 1: no real pressure, there's no deadline. I'm not recording a podcast,

187
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:36,360
Speaker 1: I'm not doing a gig, I'm not traveling anywhere. It

188
00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:39,440
Speaker 1: really doesn't matter. I'll look up it's three o'clock and

189
00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:43,520
Speaker 1: I've done fucking nothing. Like people think I'm so busy

190
00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:47,200
Speaker 1: and I'm so efficient, and I'm not like I can be.

191
00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:52,200
Speaker 1: But it's it's like almost this this subconscious knowing or

192
00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:55,200
Speaker 1: this conscious knowing. I don't have to be productive, so

193
00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:58,439
Speaker 1: I'm not. But it's like you know when you when

194
00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:01,040
Speaker 1: I travel into state, like I said, day Monday, Tuesday,

195
00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:08,000
Speaker 1: you know, plan strains, automobiles and presentations and meetings, and

196
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:12,320
Speaker 1: you know I am so efficient and so organized in

197
00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:18,400
Speaker 1: that context, but there's this like almost subconscious part of

198
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:21,320
Speaker 1: my brain where I don't need to be that today

199
00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:24,520
Speaker 1: and I don't choose to be less productive. I just

200
00:10:24,679 --> 00:10:29,439
Speaker 1: am it's like I sabotage myself. But maybe maybe having

201
00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:31,800
Speaker 1: days where I'm less productive is actually what I need.

202
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:32,680
Speaker 1: Who knows.

203
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:34,520
Speaker 2: It could be.

204
00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:36,800
Speaker 3: I noticed that I'm far more productive when I'm in

205
00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:40,160
Speaker 3: perpetual motion. It could have something to do with dopamine,

206
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:43,840
Speaker 3: because it's goal focused and there's all these things you

207
00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:47,520
Speaker 3: got to do, and every time you're completing something, you're

208
00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:50,439
Speaker 3: getting another head of dopamine. So you're producing dopamine, You're

209
00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:52,359
Speaker 3: activating the ventulustra atom.

210
00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:53,520
Speaker 2: To anticipate reward.

211
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:59,040
Speaker 3: Orbital frontal cortex is scanning your environment for other goal achieving,

212
00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:03,040
Speaker 3: you know, rather than tension relieving activities for that particular day.

213
00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:04,679
Speaker 2: So I think it has a lot to.

214
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:08,400
Speaker 3: Do with the dupaminergic system and just the overall momentum

215
00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:11,120
Speaker 3: in general. When I have a little bit of pressure

216
00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:13,080
Speaker 3: on me, And that also makes sense from a stress

217
00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:17,559
Speaker 3: hormone level, elev nor epanaphorin epinafferin you're just going to

218
00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:19,920
Speaker 3: be in a different state than if you're in first

219
00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:23,440
Speaker 3: gear for like twenty four hours, if you will.

220
00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:28,120
Speaker 1: I think also for me, there's the micro and the macro.

221
00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:30,440
Speaker 1: The micro of my life is what I'm doing now

222
00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:33,000
Speaker 1: in this moment. I'm talking to Bobby in this moment

223
00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:36,640
Speaker 1: at twelve fifty three in Melbourne on a Thursday. Right now,

224
00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:39,840
Speaker 1: I've got a coffee here, I've got my computer in

225
00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:42,439
Speaker 1: front of me. You know, I know that we've got

226
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,920
Speaker 1: about thirty minutes more to go. This is the micro,

227
00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:47,880
Speaker 1: but the macro is well. I've got this company called

228
00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:50,480
Speaker 1: the You Project. We've got two thousand episodes of this

229
00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:54,440
Speaker 1: this podcast. I'm finishing my PhD. I've got parents who

230
00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:57,839
Speaker 1: are that, you know. And then there's like, what's I think?

231
00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:01,240
Speaker 1: Because there is the macro and the micro, so that

232
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,840
Speaker 1: most of the time our head is in the microw

233
00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:06,319
Speaker 1: the micro the what am I doing now? What can

234
00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:09,280
Speaker 1: I get now? What feels good now? What tastes good now?

235
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:13,000
Speaker 1: What's comfortable now? What can I avoid now and do later?

236
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:17,079
Speaker 1: Like I wrote this thing the other day on social media,

237
00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:20,680
Speaker 1: and it's just it's just a whiteboard thing and there's

238
00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:24,040
Speaker 1: four words and the four words are tomorrow, soon, Monday,

239
00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:27,440
Speaker 1: and January one. And the message is these are the

240
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:31,920
Speaker 1: fourth most popular times to start any kind of personal transformation.

241
00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:37,400
Speaker 1: So tomorrow, soon, Monday, January one. Interestingly, today doesn't make

242
00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:41,480
Speaker 1: the top ten You know, the funny thing is that, like,

243
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:44,680
Speaker 1: how many times have somebody said to you, hey, Bobby,

244
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:47,560
Speaker 1: how do I do this? Or you know, at the

245
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,920
Speaker 1: risk of sounding cliche, I'm probably the single question I've

246
00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:54,080
Speaker 1: been asked most is essentially how do I get lean

247
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:56,240
Speaker 1: or how do I get fit right? That's or a

248
00:12:56,360 --> 00:13:00,400
Speaker 1: version of that question. I've been asked a million different questions,

249
00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:04,360
Speaker 1: brain questions, human behavior questions, but over the totality of

250
00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:06,840
Speaker 1: my career, it's from the eight and year old gym

251
00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:11,640
Speaker 1: instructor to now. And more than half of the time

252
00:13:11,679 --> 00:13:14,560
Speaker 1: when I tell people or I give them advice, you know,

253
00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:17,160
Speaker 1: I go, look, here are some things to think about.

254
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,840
Speaker 1: It's virtually never that they're going to start that today,

255
00:13:22,679 --> 00:13:25,960
Speaker 1: Like it's always thanks, you know, it's always going to

256
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:28,480
Speaker 1: be soon or tomorrow or Monday or January one, but

257
00:13:28,559 --> 00:13:32,200
Speaker 1: it's never now. And it just interests me because the

258
00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:34,640
Speaker 1: issue is now, Like I have an issue now. I

259
00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:37,240
Speaker 1: don't have an issue next Monday. I have an issue now.

260
00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:39,400
Speaker 1: I'm like, we have an issue now, so start now.

261
00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:41,720
Speaker 1: And you've got an answer now, or you've got at

262
00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:45,040
Speaker 1: least the very least you've got some direction, or you've

263
00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:47,880
Speaker 1: got a framework or you've got some kind of resource

264
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:51,920
Speaker 1: or tool or strategy, so start now. And it's so

265
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:56,240
Speaker 1: funny when I and I generally don't push people, but

266
00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:57,920
Speaker 1: every now and then I'm like, well, why wouldn't you

267
00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:01,920
Speaker 1: start this today? And you can just see people cognitively

268
00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:08,760
Speaker 1: scrambling for some kind of rationale Bobby, not today, because

269
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:13,000
Speaker 1: fucking any day, but today, and then because every you know,

270
00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:16,400
Speaker 1: we never live in any place but the present, so

271
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:19,240
Speaker 1: it's always going to be sometime in the future that

272
00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:20,440
Speaker 1: place we never inhabit.

273
00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:25,480
Speaker 3: I wonder if that has And by the way, I

274
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:29,720
Speaker 3: have been exercising for my entire life and I have

275
00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:33,520
Speaker 3: run into the same Oh my goodness, you know what

276
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:37,400
Speaker 3: I've eaten this today? Tomorrow I'm going to and it's like, dude, right,

277
00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:39,520
Speaker 3: what are you doing? It's like, so I do a

278
00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:42,920
Speaker 3: lot of the same things, although I'm really good at

279
00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:46,720
Speaker 3: starting back up and staying consistent for a while. Yeah,

280
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:51,040
Speaker 3: but I do have that pattern. And I wonder for

281
00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:54,480
Speaker 3: people if it goes back to that all or nothing

282
00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:59,040
Speaker 3: type of mentality, going back to bj fog where it's

283
00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:01,880
Speaker 3: almost like, hey, if you you could do one small

284
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:08,040
Speaker 3: thing starting like today, now, what do you think would

285
00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:11,840
Speaker 3: be an accessible behavior that might support that health and

286
00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:14,720
Speaker 3: fitness goal of whatever it is that they said that

287
00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:18,480
Speaker 3: they were trying to do. And I know that I

288
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:23,840
Speaker 3: was once attending this class on food science and this

289
00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:27,320
Speaker 3: medical doctor shoes brilliant, and what she had people do

290
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:31,000
Speaker 3: was just eat whatever you're normally gonna eat, but just

291
00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:35,000
Speaker 3: pay attention to what it is, be mindful, and add

292
00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:38,400
Speaker 3: plants to it or add vegetables, just throw it on.

293
00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:42,880
Speaker 3: It's like, oh, that's very specific. That's like every single meal.

294
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:46,200
Speaker 3: There's no way to get that wrong. It's either I

295
00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:48,920
Speaker 3: did it or I didn't do it, so there's no ambiguity.

296
00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:51,720
Speaker 3: Oh and I can start that today. And once they

297
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:56,440
Speaker 3: start that at a very small level, they start to

298
00:15:56,600 --> 00:16:01,680
Speaker 3: shift their identity from someone who who doesn't do any

299
00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:05,760
Speaker 3: health and fitness supporting behaviors to someone who does. And

300
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:09,280
Speaker 3: it's a lot easier jump making bigger and bigger commitments

301
00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:12,520
Speaker 3: from that because a lot of habits, you know, James

302
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:16,960
Speaker 3: Clear and Atomic Habits talks about this where it relates.

303
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:17,560
Speaker 2: To your identity.

304
00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:22,800
Speaker 3: Like imagine you got cast as the leading role in

305
00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:26,560
Speaker 3: a major blockbuster film that they're producing, and you were

306
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:31,200
Speaker 3: playing the role of a lead character who just engaged

307
00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:34,120
Speaker 3: in health and fitness type behaviors. Let's say you had

308
00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:37,880
Speaker 3: a job that was really demanding and because of that,

309
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:42,239
Speaker 3: you had to elicit top peak levels of emotional, physical,

310
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:46,640
Speaker 3: cognitive performance. What would that person eat? How often would

311
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:49,920
Speaker 3: they go to the gym? Would they just like skip workouts?

312
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:53,280
Speaker 3: Would they just be like eating sugar and ultra processed

313
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:56,800
Speaker 3: foods every single day, every single meal?

314
00:16:56,920 --> 00:17:02,040
Speaker 2: Like? What is that character? And where could you start?

315
00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:05,960
Speaker 3: Because every time you engage in that behavior, that's could ruin.

316
00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:09,360
Speaker 3: It's a vote for your identity of who you're becoming.

317
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:10,480
Speaker 2: And that's that's kind.

318
00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:14,240
Speaker 3: Of a powerful way to look at habit formation as well.

319
00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:17,560
Speaker 3: But I think I think where the real magic is

320
00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:20,160
Speaker 3: is looking at what you.

321
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:23,480
Speaker 2: Currently do that you want to stop doing.

322
00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:26,359
Speaker 3: I think there's a lot of valuable information and we

323
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:28,040
Speaker 3: just go to, oh, I don't want.

324
00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:30,040
Speaker 2: To do this, I'd rather do this, but what we'll

325
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:31,000
Speaker 2: come back.

326
00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:34,199
Speaker 3: There's a lot to learn from what you're already doing

327
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:37,119
Speaker 3: if you can look at it with some objectivity.

328
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:40,040
Speaker 1: And I think and that is the that is the

329
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:42,760
Speaker 1: ever present challenge, Like how do you look at your

330
00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:45,560
Speaker 1: own shit with objectivity? When everything that you look at

331
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:50,360
Speaker 1: is the subjective looking is subjectively. You know your window,

332
00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:52,679
Speaker 1: and I know what you're saying. I think part of

333
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:56,600
Speaker 1: it is for me. And this is again, this is

334
00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:59,000
Speaker 1: This is not a recommendation or advice any on. This

335
00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:03,200
Speaker 1: is just my experience. So I needed to try to understand,

336
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:10,160
Speaker 1: for example, my relationship with food and understand the emotion

337
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:15,520
Speaker 1: around food, and to start to you know, because we

338
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:19,000
Speaker 1: are It doesn't matter how how logical we are, how

339
00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:22,639
Speaker 1: intelligent we are, how much we know you know the

340
00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:25,000
Speaker 1: research da da da da da da da. When humans

341
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:28,199
Speaker 1: are emotional, generally, the emotion drives the behavior, not the

342
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:30,960
Speaker 1: mind right or not the logic, not the rational part

343
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:34,240
Speaker 1: of the brain. And so it's being able to say, listen,

344
00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:39,280
Speaker 1: I struggle with this particular issue, with this habit, with

345
00:18:39,359 --> 00:18:43,119
Speaker 1: this behavior, and it's it's quite emotionally driven, and it's

346
00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:45,760
Speaker 1: driven out of fear, or it's driven out of resentment,

347
00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:48,840
Speaker 1: or it's driven out of anxiety, or it's whatever it is, right,

348
00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:51,240
Speaker 1: or it's driven out of a need to be comfortable

349
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:54,040
Speaker 1: in the moment. And so to try to turn down

350
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:57,760
Speaker 1: the emotion, recognize the emotion, feel the emotion. We're not

351
00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:01,280
Speaker 1: denying how you feel, but trying to turn up the

352
00:19:01,359 --> 00:19:04,560
Speaker 1: logic and strategy, knowing that in a minute, you're going

353
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:07,000
Speaker 1: to be five years older. Right, in a minute, bro,

354
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:09,800
Speaker 1: you're going to be five years older, and you're going

355
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:13,160
Speaker 1: to be probably unless something changes. Because by the way,

356
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:16,240
Speaker 1: you've been having a version of this conversation since two

357
00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:21,920
Speaker 1: thousand and six. Right, So so if nothing changes, nothing changes,

358
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:25,200
Speaker 1: And being able to just like we would like, look

359
00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:29,679
Speaker 1: at a business project or a financial endeavor, or you know,

360
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:33,359
Speaker 1: some kind of strategic thing that we're in the middle of.

361
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:39,080
Speaker 1: Imagine if we could take that analytical strategic thinking and

362
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:42,840
Speaker 1: apply it to the project that is us or we

363
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:45,119
Speaker 1: might even call it the U project, if there's a

364
00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:50,040
Speaker 1: name for a show. Right, But being being able to go, yeah,

365
00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:55,560
Speaker 1: I unless something changes based on my current trajectory in

366
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:59,160
Speaker 1: the last ten years and my current trajectory in five

367
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,399
Speaker 1: years or two years or five months, I'm going to

368
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:04,639
Speaker 1: be in a shit place. So is that where I

369
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:08,480
Speaker 1: want to be? No, and we're not talking about self loathing.

370
00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:11,080
Speaker 1: I always say this, we're talking about self awareness. Don't

371
00:20:11,119 --> 00:20:14,080
Speaker 1: beat yourself up, don't throw yourself under the metaphoric bus.

372
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,480
Speaker 1: We don't need that. That's not the point. You're not

373
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:19,440
Speaker 1: a bad human. You're not terrible, you're not weak, you're

374
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:22,240
Speaker 1: not shitouse, You're none of that. You're okay, you're human.

375
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,440
Speaker 1: But at the same time, this shit is not magic.

376
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:30,360
Speaker 1: You won't magically get better, you won't magically get lean,

377
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:33,679
Speaker 1: you won't magically get rich, you won't magically become a

378
00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:37,720
Speaker 1: high performer, you won't magically build resilience. You need to

379
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:40,880
Speaker 1: do the fucking things that create the outcomes you want.

380
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:44,359
Speaker 1: And will you like it some of it? No? Will

381
00:20:44,359 --> 00:20:47,600
Speaker 1: it be hard, fucking oath? Will it be fun? Probably

382
00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:51,359
Speaker 1: not at times? And is that okay? You know? For

383
00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:55,240
Speaker 1: me this is the like we can analyze and reanalyze

384
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:58,400
Speaker 1: upside down inside out. But at the end of the day,

385
00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:03,360
Speaker 1: you know, knowing matters, but doing matters the most. You know,

386
00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:07,159
Speaker 1: it's for me. It's just that I think that also,

387
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:10,159
Speaker 1: and I'll shut up after this, But I feel like

388
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:12,000
Speaker 1: for a lot of people, Bobby, there's got to be

389
00:21:13,119 --> 00:21:17,720
Speaker 1: some internal shift, like something It shouldn't have to happen,

390
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:21,320
Speaker 1: because I think we have the capacity to do amazing things.

391
00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:25,320
Speaker 1: But I like the times mostly where I've seen people

392
00:21:25,359 --> 00:21:30,320
Speaker 1: do fucking mind blowing incredible things like life changing. I

393
00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:34,960
Speaker 1: can't believe what they're doing and creating is often after

394
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:39,280
Speaker 1: there's been a catastrophe or a near catastrophe now and

395
00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:42,240
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden, there's a reset in their brain.

396
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:46,000
Speaker 1: All of a sudden, they have a totally different perspective,

397
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:50,199
Speaker 1: They're looking through a different window. Their values have just

398
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:53,520
Speaker 1: been turned on their head, or at least their priorities

399
00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:56,199
Speaker 1: have been turned up. So, oh fuck, you know what

400
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:59,280
Speaker 1: matters the most in my life is not dying.

401
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:00,960
Speaker 2: Let me get.

402
00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:04,359
Speaker 1: Onto that, you know. So I think there's that, and

403
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:06,399
Speaker 1: I've seen that. You've probably seen it. I saw it

404
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:08,439
Speaker 1: with my dad when he had his first heart attack.

405
00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 1: Just the complete one eighty in thinking, in behavior, in

406
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:16,760
Speaker 1: habits and lifestyle, in everything. And the dude who couldn't

407
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:22,160
Speaker 1: lose two kilos for thirty years was overweight. That dude

408
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:25,680
Speaker 1: lost twenty five kilos in five months and never regained

409
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:28,840
Speaker 1: it because he had a reset. But the thing was

410
00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:33,720
Speaker 1: that ability to create this amazing transformation was always there.

411
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:38,959
Speaker 3: Yeah, that is interesting. I observed a lot of that

412
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:42,000
Speaker 3: Joe nine to eleven in both through actions, like people

413
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:45,400
Speaker 3: who became completely different, people live their life completely differently.

414
00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:49,040
Speaker 1: I experienced that you just remind mind people that, yeah,

415
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:51,040
Speaker 1: because a lot of people might not know you were

416
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:51,760
Speaker 1: in the middle of that.

417
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:54,800
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I lived. I lived at ground zero Joe,

418
00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:55,399
Speaker 2: nine to eleven.

419
00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:59,320
Speaker 3: Like the World Trade Center came down on top of

420
00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:02,879
Speaker 3: my building. Like the whole place was just this dark

421
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:07,159
Speaker 3: dust cloud. So I got I had the opposite.

422
00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:07,199
Speaker 2: Happen to me.

423
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:11,959
Speaker 3: I got very ill living in that toxic dust cloud.

424
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:18,399
Speaker 3: It was let's just say it was extremely unhealthy and

425
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:21,679
Speaker 3: dangerous for people to be living down there. And I

426
00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:26,040
Speaker 3: started to notice a lot of things related to illness.

427
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,679
Speaker 3: And when I came out of that, I became so

428
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:32,159
Speaker 3: much more relaxed with so many of my behaviors I

429
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:34,800
Speaker 3: was I was told that prior to nine to eleven.

430
00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:37,359
Speaker 3: I know, you can't imagine this, Craig, but I was

431
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:39,960
Speaker 3: hard to be around. You know, people like you were

432
00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:42,520
Speaker 3: so uptight. I wouldn't eat anything.

433
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:46,119
Speaker 2: I wouldn't go out for a drink. I wouldn't I

434
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:47,720
Speaker 2: wouldn't even just go to a film.

435
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:50,199
Speaker 3: I wouldn't do anything if it didn't have to do

436
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:53,360
Speaker 3: with growth development and my career trajectory.

437
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:54,440
Speaker 2: Nothing.

438
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:58,239
Speaker 3: And when all that stuff happened, well, I had this

439
00:23:58,359 --> 00:24:02,120
Speaker 3: thought like Okay, you're gonna you know you're gonna die someday,

440
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:05,119
Speaker 3: and you know, now you've been living in this place

441
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:08,520
Speaker 3: for a while, that someday might be a lot closer

442
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:10,280
Speaker 3: than you think. And I'm not going to go into

443
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:12,840
Speaker 3: all of the details about why.

444
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:15,080
Speaker 2: I came to that conclusion. It's pretty sad.

445
00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:20,240
Speaker 3: A lot of people, again, their health was significantly impacted

446
00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:24,439
Speaker 3: living at ground zero, and I just started taking on

447
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:28,760
Speaker 3: behaviors and living in the moment and behaving in ways

448
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:32,439
Speaker 3: that prior to nine to eleven I never would have

449
00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:36,320
Speaker 3: engaged in, or I rarely would have engaged in. Then

450
00:24:36,359 --> 00:24:39,879
Speaker 3: I would have liked engaged in like self flagellation and

451
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:43,920
Speaker 3: self loathing, and got back on track and not went

452
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,479
Speaker 3: out and spoken to another person in a social setting

453
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:48,840
Speaker 3: for another three years because I had to catch up

454
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:52,480
Speaker 3: on work and studying. So I've seen that go in

455
00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:57,280
Speaker 3: both directions. I want to talk about something that I

456
00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:00,280
Speaker 3: was recently struggling with, and it's not it's not a

457
00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:03,679
Speaker 3: huge thing, but you know how you one thing is

458
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:06,080
Speaker 3: out of alignment, and it throws so many other things

459
00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:08,160
Speaker 3: out of alignment and it becomes kind.

460
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:10,280
Speaker 2: Of a big thing. So for me, it was late

461
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:11,880
Speaker 2: late night snacking.

462
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:16,440
Speaker 3: Where I would just eat, you know, after dinner late

463
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:21,480
Speaker 3: at night. And I'm not talking about necessarily really sugary,

464
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:24,920
Speaker 3: fatty foods, you know, I would just you know, snack

465
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:29,160
Speaker 3: on pistachio nuts or almonds or quote unquote healthy choices.

466
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:32,479
Speaker 3: But I noticed that I would go to bed and

467
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:34,720
Speaker 3: feel like shit, and my stomach would heark because I'm

468
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:36,560
Speaker 3: eating too late at night, and then I wouldn't sleep

469
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:39,440
Speaker 3: very well. Then the next day I would wake up

470
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:42,320
Speaker 3: and I'd be exhausted. So I'm not switched on, and

471
00:25:42,359 --> 00:25:45,520
Speaker 3: that further exacerbates my stress. So I started looking at

472
00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:49,159
Speaker 3: this talk about examining habits, like what's the information?

473
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:52,600
Speaker 2: And you know, my framework.

474
00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:58,679
Speaker 3: Is core habits, right Q observation, ritual, and enforce Like

475
00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:02,720
Speaker 3: what enforces that the reward there that perpetuates that behavior.

476
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:05,760
Speaker 3: And the first thing you look at is all of

477
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:09,879
Speaker 3: your cues. So my fridge was a cue. Also I

478
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:13,000
Speaker 3: was keeping stuff like nuts like on the counter. Cornell

479
00:26:13,119 --> 00:26:16,200
Speaker 3: University did the study and they found out that people

480
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:21,639
Speaker 3: who kept food readily visible out like on counters in

481
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:27,119
Speaker 3: the kitchen were on average anywhere from they weighed four

482
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:31,080
Speaker 3: to thirteen kilos more than people who didn't who had

483
00:26:31,119 --> 00:26:34,360
Speaker 3: their food tucked away. So environmental cues, like what's going

484
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:36,960
Speaker 3: on in my environment that's prompting this behavior?

485
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:37,639
Speaker 1: You know.

486
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:40,840
Speaker 3: The second thing was like observation, you know what what

487
00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:45,160
Speaker 3: am I experiencing? So you take a look at external environment,

488
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:50,720
Speaker 3: the cues, the observations more internal. What is happening at

489
00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:53,880
Speaker 3: the times where I'll reach for food late at night

490
00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:58,240
Speaker 3: and I noticed I'm feeling anxiety. I'm thinking about stuff

491
00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:00,720
Speaker 3: that happened during the day. I'm thinking about the next day.

492
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:02,800
Speaker 3: Even when I write that stuff out in a to

493
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:06,679
Speaker 3: do list, you know, which does help. There was a

494
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:09,240
Speaker 3: certain time period I was going through and it caused

495
00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:11,760
Speaker 3: me a lot of anxiety. So I'll just like reach,

496
00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:14,680
Speaker 3: I'll just open up the fridge, or I'll go rummage

497
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:17,520
Speaker 3: through all the bags. That's my ritual. And then the

498
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:20,480
Speaker 3: last thing I took a look at is well, how

499
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:23,080
Speaker 3: do I want to feel like I'm doing that for

500
00:27:23,119 --> 00:27:25,879
Speaker 3: a reward? Every behavior you have, even if it's like

501
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:30,240
Speaker 3: smoking something that's quite damaging, there is a positive intention.

502
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:33,080
Speaker 3: Maybe that's to get relief, to get a break, to

503
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:36,600
Speaker 3: feel like you have some locus of control. There's something

504
00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:40,600
Speaker 3: positive that you're after, like, what is that exactly?

505
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:44,200
Speaker 1: I thought, Okay, now, not maody smugs. Nobody smugs because

506
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:48,480
Speaker 1: it makes them feel bad, Like the obviously in that

507
00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:51,919
Speaker 1: smoke is anyway that that process of sucking on that

508
00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:55,680
Speaker 1: dot in the moment anyway it makes them feel good

509
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:58,480
Speaker 1: or they wouldn't do it. Yeah, so I totally agree.

510
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:02,720
Speaker 3: Or at one time it made them feel good, and

511
00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:07,880
Speaker 3: maybe they're chasing that benefit. So I started to realize

512
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:10,200
Speaker 3: that what I was looking for is relief. It wasn't

513
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:13,040
Speaker 3: even comfort, it was a relief from this constant anxiety.

514
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:17,639
Speaker 3: And I also noticed that another thing in my environment

515
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:21,879
Speaker 3: that provoked this behavior was when my wife was home.

516
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:25,840
Speaker 3: So she's not at home, I don't do that as readily.

517
00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:28,560
Speaker 3: And I was like, well, why is that really? Not

518
00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:32,359
Speaker 3: blaming amy, but it's like, oh, because when I'm anxious,

519
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:35,240
Speaker 3: the last thing I want to do is have that

520
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 3: anxiety bleed into all the stuff that she's got going on.

521
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:41,480
Speaker 3: So I was like, all right, let me just sit

522
00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:44,160
Speaker 3: here and nibble on a whole bag of something. You

523
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:47,560
Speaker 3: know how that goes. And then once I understood what

524
00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:50,880
Speaker 3: provokes the behavior, what I'm feeling when I engage in

525
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:54,280
Speaker 3: the behavior and how I'm really trying to feel well.

526
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:57,680
Speaker 3: Now there's all these replacement behaviors. So I spoke to

527
00:28:57,680 --> 00:29:03,440
Speaker 3: Amy elicited her social support is a critical element of

528
00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:07,360
Speaker 3: either habit cessation or positive habit formation. And we just

529
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:10,080
Speaker 3: started going out for walks every night and not talking

530
00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:12,280
Speaker 3: about the stuff that was giving me anxiety, just talking

531
00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:16,160
Speaker 3: about anything, and that walk gave me the same feeling

532
00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:19,040
Speaker 3: with Amy next to me, which gave me a much

533
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:22,000
Speaker 3: better feeling than sitting in my house and ruminating. I

534
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:25,920
Speaker 3: was like, oh wow, that's a great replacement behavior. And

535
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:30,200
Speaker 3: after a while that became the habit without even thinking

536
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:30,920
Speaker 3: about it.

537
00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:31,960
Speaker 2: It was just automated.

538
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:35,120
Speaker 3: After dinner we would go for a walk, which is

539
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:37,280
Speaker 3: a really good idea to do anyway after a meal.

540
00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:40,360
Speaker 3: And there was just so many things that fell into place.

541
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:43,440
Speaker 3: I was getting what I wanted from a behavior that

542
00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:45,680
Speaker 3: was constructive and not working against me.

543
00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:51,280
Speaker 1: What about I love what you're saying. What about people

544
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:54,560
Speaker 1: who need to change your habit and maybe they've got

545
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:58,680
Speaker 1: a habit that really is on some level controlling then

546
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:03,520
Speaker 1: rather than the other way. And I'm not necessarily talking

547
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:05,920
Speaker 1: about let's just put aside the big ones at the moment.

548
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:10,640
Speaker 1: Let's put aside booze and drugs and addiction, but it's

549
00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:13,640
Speaker 1: like the more kind of mundane stuff. And of course

550
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:16,640
Speaker 1: all of that matters, but for the moment, just things

551
00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:20,600
Speaker 1: that we do that are somewhat ineffective or potentially a

552
00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:23,360
Speaker 1: little bit self destructive, or at the very least, we're

553
00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:27,040
Speaker 1: just wasting our talent and time, you know, based on

554
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:30,280
Speaker 1: who and how we want to be. And we have

555
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:34,680
Speaker 1: this cycle of which I think is nearly all of.

556
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:40,480
Speaker 5: Us starting and stopping. Start, lose motivation, lose focus or whatever.

557
00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 5: Something happens, hurt my back or get busy at work,

558
00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:47,280
Speaker 5: or get distracted, or fall in love, fall out of love.

559
00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:49,960
Speaker 1: Oh fuck that thing I started and I did for

560
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:53,720
Speaker 1: three weeks six months ago. I better do that, but

561
00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:56,840
Speaker 1: this time, fuck, I meant this time, now, this is

562
00:30:56,880 --> 00:30:59,680
Speaker 1: the time. And then it lasts for two and a

563
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:02,280
Speaker 1: half and then we wake up and now we're sixty.

564
00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:07,240
Speaker 1: How do how do we outlast our motivation? How do

565
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:10,920
Speaker 1: we how do we be the you know, and I

566
00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:14,120
Speaker 1: know there's no single answer to this. This is conversation starter,

567
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 1: but and I've got some ideas on it, but like,

568
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:19,960
Speaker 1: what's your go to? Because so many people that you

569
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:22,960
Speaker 1: and I work with and talk to, and so many

570
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:26,920
Speaker 1: of our listeners on some level. And I don't know

571
00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:28,480
Speaker 1: if you've done it, but I guess you've done it.

572
00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:31,160
Speaker 1: I've definitely done it. Where there are things that I

573
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:37,440
Speaker 1: literally tried to change some things fucking sixty times before

574
00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:41,600
Speaker 1: I actually got it across the line. You know. Like

575
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:46,480
Speaker 1: I've said many times, I had really unhealthy eating habits

576
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:50,480
Speaker 1: till I was about thirty five now, and I was

577
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:54,360
Speaker 1: working in the health space for seventeen years up to that, right,

578
00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:58,480
Speaker 1: So I was simultaneously telling people how to eat or

579
00:31:58,520 --> 00:32:02,480
Speaker 1: giving people advice that I wasn't executing myself. I was

580
00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:06,680
Speaker 1: one hundred percent a fraud, not trying to be but

581
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:10,320
Speaker 1: a fraud in the sense that I was not doing people.

582
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:13,120
Speaker 1: I was not doing things that I was advising people

583
00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:15,840
Speaker 1: to do. And it wasn't I wasn't trying to be bad.

584
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:18,720
Speaker 1: I wasn't, but it just took me so long to

585
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:21,920
Speaker 1: get my own shit together, you know. And by that

586
00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:26,360
Speaker 1: I mean the when nobody's looking stuff. When people were looking,

587
00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:29,560
Speaker 1: I was amazing, of course, because that's my ego, right,

588
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:34,239
Speaker 1: But when people weren't looking, I was eating everything that

589
00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:36,880
Speaker 1: was not nailed down, and then I would then I

590
00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:39,600
Speaker 1: would train and live and eat like an elite athlete

591
00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:41,360
Speaker 1: for two weeks, and then I'd go on a one

592
00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:44,560
Speaker 1: week bend or an ice cream and fucking cheesecake, put

593
00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:48,040
Speaker 1: on six kilos in a week, and you know, and

594
00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:53,160
Speaker 1: still all the time having enough knowledge and awareness, but

595
00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:56,640
Speaker 1: still not doing it. What are your thoughts around that,

596
00:32:56,720 --> 00:32:59,680
Speaker 1: because it's it's so easy to sit on a podcast

597
00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:03,240
Speaker 1: and about the theory of change, but at the call fights,

598
00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:07,280
Speaker 1: at the miss emotional psychological behavior call fights and change,

599
00:33:08,120 --> 00:33:14,640
Speaker 1: it's wayh.

600
00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:13,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's absolutely true.

601
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:16,800
Speaker 3: And I think one thing that's important to remember is

602
00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:21,280
Speaker 3: everybody struggles with this stuff. You know, some people claim

603
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:24,920
Speaker 3: they don't put they're liars, And I think the you

604
00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:29,280
Speaker 3: need you need a system. Right, everything that we do

605
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:33,880
Speaker 3: habitually consistently, we are either leveraging a system or we

606
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:37,080
Speaker 3: had a system originally. So you will rise or fall

607
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:38,960
Speaker 3: to the level of your systems or I like to

608
00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:42,120
Speaker 3: call them frameworks. Let's go back to the core framework, right,

609
00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:48,600
Speaker 3: cor in habit formation rather than habit cessation. First step

610
00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:51,960
Speaker 3: is getting very very clear, like you said, something that

611
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:53,880
Speaker 3: we can all relate to you just feel like, oh,

612
00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:57,440
Speaker 3: I'm just wasting my potential all day long. Okay, that

613
00:33:57,600 --> 00:34:02,400
Speaker 3: is an interpretation. What exactly is happening? Like, what is

614
00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 3: the behavior that you're engaging in? Because if you don't

615
00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:07,960
Speaker 3: get down to like, okay, wasting your potential doing what

616
00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:11,120
Speaker 3: by just like not being born smarter? Is there something

617
00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:13,919
Speaker 3: that you do that you should be doing something else?

618
00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:16,520
Speaker 3: Is there something you do that kind of puts you

619
00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:19,520
Speaker 3: in this state or sucks your time with no real benefit.

620
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:23,000
Speaker 3: Like let's talk about doom scrolling for a second. Now,

621
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:25,480
Speaker 3: how many of us have done stuff like that where

622
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:28,480
Speaker 3: you're just posting something, You look at one thing, it's

623
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:30,239
Speaker 3: like oh wow, okay, and the next thing, and the

624
00:34:30,280 --> 00:34:32,759
Speaker 3: next thing and the next thing, and then whatever you're

625
00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:36,359
Speaker 3: looking at, whatever you draw your attention to, the algorithm

626
00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:38,719
Speaker 3: figures it out. So now it's just gonna feed you

627
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:41,120
Speaker 3: that stuff. So if you're living in high anxiety and

628
00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:43,680
Speaker 3: you know it's gonna feed you fear based stuff. If

629
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:46,439
Speaker 3: you love cats, you're gonna watch cat videos all day long.

630
00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:49,799
Speaker 3: So oh, it's this doom scrolling thing. And it's not

631
00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:52,520
Speaker 3: the doom scrolling, it's how often and how long I

632
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:55,400
Speaker 3: do it for? I would say the first step is

633
00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:59,319
Speaker 3: just being aware of that, like how many times a

634
00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:05,319
Speaker 3: day are you doom scrolling? Like how long? And what

635
00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:08,560
Speaker 3: creates that? Like, there's got to be a queue for

636
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:12,080
Speaker 3: the behavior. So Wendy Woods at University of Southern California,

637
00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:14,759
Speaker 3: she estimates in her research that over forty percent of

638
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:15,600
Speaker 3: the things we do in.

639
00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:17,160
Speaker 2: A day are not intentional.

640
00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:19,640
Speaker 3: It's not like I'm going to sit down and waste

641
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:24,360
Speaker 3: ninety minutes by scrolling through utter nonsense on social media.

642
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:29,959
Speaker 3: We are just responding to conditioning within our environment over

643
00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:32,680
Speaker 3: forty percent of our day. You do something long enough,

644
00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:35,000
Speaker 3: it's going to become habitual. What's the whole point of

645
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:38,359
Speaker 3: this first thing? It's like, well, where where is that?

646
00:35:38,719 --> 00:35:41,160
Speaker 3: Like for me, it's my desk right, And for me

647
00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:44,040
Speaker 3: it's like, let's say it's a device. I've got my

648
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:46,560
Speaker 3: mobile phone. When I take a look at this, this

649
00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:49,080
Speaker 3: becomes a cue. So one of the things I did

650
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:52,799
Speaker 3: is I took all of my social media apps off

651
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:55,760
Speaker 3: my phone and I put them on a completely different device.

652
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:58,560
Speaker 3: So now I got to go looking for this thing.

653
00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:02,880
Speaker 3: So that's intense. I can't be responding to my environment

654
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:05,799
Speaker 3: because I put it out of my environment also, and

655
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:09,160
Speaker 3: I know everyone's living situation is different. Where I live,

656
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:12,200
Speaker 3: I have a lounge, a business center, and a courtyard.

657
00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:15,480
Speaker 3: Just get out of the house sometimes the hardest thing

658
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:18,640
Speaker 3: for me. And this is the thing about working at home,

659
00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:22,480
Speaker 3: where used to have space in between meetings, like you

660
00:36:22,520 --> 00:36:24,880
Speaker 3: walk from one meeting to another. You don't have that

661
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:27,960
Speaker 3: everything's next, next, next, next, so you don't get out

662
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:31,279
Speaker 3: of the house. It's like, Okay, go downstairs, because I

663
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:34,719
Speaker 3: know if I'm outside and I only brought with me

664
00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:38,560
Speaker 3: what I'm looking to work on, like my computer, I've

665
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:43,520
Speaker 3: just changed my environmental cues. Or a coffee shop is

666
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:47,360
Speaker 3: where I benefit from the white noise of having people

667
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:49,480
Speaker 3: around me. Once I'm at a coffee shop, I can

668
00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:53,840
Speaker 3: zone out and in focus to such a greater degree

669
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:56,600
Speaker 3: as long as I don't interact with anyone than in

670
00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:57,719
Speaker 3: any other environments.

671
00:36:57,719 --> 00:36:59,960
Speaker 2: That's one. That's the cue. What's the environmental cue?

672
00:37:01,560 --> 00:37:04,760
Speaker 1: I was just going to say, I'm exactly the same.

673
00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:06,920
Speaker 1: I mean, you've had coffee with me at the Hamptons,

674
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:11,440
Speaker 1: where I shout out to the Hampton spolk, and I

675
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:14,399
Speaker 1: can be in Mayhem where there's people in and out,

676
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:17,359
Speaker 1: there's tradees coming in getting coffees. There are kids, there

677
00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:20,600
Speaker 1: are school kids, there are it's a very busy cafe.

678
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:24,160
Speaker 1: I'm sitting in my corner, a special little spot, and

679
00:37:24,239 --> 00:37:28,120
Speaker 1: I'm more focused and more productive than sitting in a

680
00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:32,960
Speaker 1: quiet room at home. Most Yeah, I get. I mean,

681
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:34,759
Speaker 1: I love my quiet room at home with it I'm

682
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:38,400
Speaker 1: in right now. But there are times when my attention

683
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:42,440
Speaker 1: is so diverted, like my ability to focus and concentrate

684
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:44,920
Speaker 1: depending on the time of the day. But if I

685
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:46,560
Speaker 1: came in, if I got out of bed and I

686
00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:48,759
Speaker 1: came into this room at six fifteen and I just

687
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:52,799
Speaker 1: sat here, I know that my productivity would be one.

688
00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:55,359
Speaker 1: I wouldn't do it, but it would be way less

689
00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:57,080
Speaker 1: than when I'm I don't know why it is. It's

690
00:37:57,080 --> 00:38:00,520
Speaker 1: maybe it's just habit. Maybe it's just there's this Maybe

691
00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:02,920
Speaker 1: my brain gets in that environment because I've done it

692
00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:05,640
Speaker 1: for so long where it knows. Oh, this is where.

693
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:08,120
Speaker 1: This is where we get set for the day. This

694
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:10,400
Speaker 1: is where we plan, this is where we post something,

695
00:38:10,719 --> 00:38:13,400
Speaker 1: or this is where we respond to emails or I

696
00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:17,200
Speaker 1: don't know why I'm talking in like we I don't know,

697
00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:18,120
Speaker 1: maybe I.

698
00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:21,600
Speaker 2: But yes of personality is living in that head.

699
00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:26,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right, I'm with you. There's something about being

700
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:30,480
Speaker 1: in that white noise is a good is a good

701
00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:32,960
Speaker 1: description because it's yeah, okay, core.

702
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:38,400
Speaker 3: See see And that goes right into oh right, and

703
00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:41,880
Speaker 3: oh is observation and what am I observing?

704
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:42,400
Speaker 2: Imserving?

705
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:47,920
Speaker 3: I'm observing three variables basically that deal with readiness and

706
00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:52,080
Speaker 3: probability of engagement and sustaining long term behavior.

707
00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:54,719
Speaker 2: One is enjoyment.

708
00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:59,960
Speaker 3: How much am I enjoying this if my environment is

709
00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:03,640
Speaker 3: white noise, having people around, and I could write that

710
00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:07,960
Speaker 3: chapter sitting in a coffee shop more readily and more

711
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:10,640
Speaker 3: creatively than sitting in a quiet room.

712
00:39:11,239 --> 00:39:12,000
Speaker 2: Go do that.

713
00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:17,080
Speaker 3: Another thing sometimes is when I'm going through creative work

714
00:39:17,120 --> 00:39:19,080
Speaker 3: and in the beginning, before you're in a state of flow,

715
00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:23,719
Speaker 3: it's just painful, it's tedious. What is it that I

716
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:28,640
Speaker 3: enjoy that would not only compliment this, but I can

717
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:31,719
Speaker 3: attach an activity I don't want to do to something I.

718
00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:32,640
Speaker 2: Really enjoy doing.

719
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:35,560
Speaker 3: I mean, if you go to see a film, try this,

720
00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:39,000
Speaker 3: or go watch a clip on YouTube and watch the

721
00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:43,360
Speaker 3: most epic scene in your favorite film with the sound off.

722
00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:47,359
Speaker 2: It's kind of stupid, like they make the it's not

723
00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:48,320
Speaker 2: just the dialogue.

724
00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:52,200
Speaker 3: They make these soundtracks, there's this background ambient music to

725
00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:54,759
Speaker 3: elevate your level of emotion and engagement.

726
00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:55,440
Speaker 2: I use that.

727
00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:59,640
Speaker 3: I listen to soundtracks that are not overwhelming, but they're

728
00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:02,840
Speaker 3: is and I listened to them softly, and it keeps

729
00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:05,960
Speaker 3: me so focused on my work in the moment. So

730
00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:09,080
Speaker 3: that's one is how much am I enjoying it?

731
00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:12,680
Speaker 6: I just elevated that, And I just want to jump

732
00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:19,319
Speaker 6: in and say, isn't it interesting to understand the way

733
00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:20,640
Speaker 6: that your brain and your.

734
00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:25,560
Speaker 1: Creativity and your focus and your productivity work best because

735
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:29,920
Speaker 1: you'll go in one environment where like that's your dream

736
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:33,880
Speaker 1: space to just produce, but for somebody else that wouldn't

737
00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:39,960
Speaker 1: work at all, you know, So recognizing individually, it's like

738
00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:42,640
Speaker 1: like right now, I'm sitting in you know, my office,

739
00:40:42,680 --> 00:40:45,120
Speaker 1: which is air conditioned. I'm looking out the window, which

740
00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:47,480
Speaker 1: I've spoke about too many times, at all these beautiful trees.

741
00:40:47,840 --> 00:40:51,040
Speaker 1: I've got bare feet, black T shirt, shorts, and I'm

742
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:55,080
Speaker 1: really comfortable. And if I'm in a really comfortable environment,

743
00:40:56,280 --> 00:40:59,240
Speaker 1: my brain works better, you know, like for doing things

744
00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:01,000
Speaker 1: like if I had just sit here and do this

745
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:04,480
Speaker 1: in an office space in a suit, and a tie.

746
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:08,200
Speaker 1: I don't know why, but just for me. And even

747
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:11,120
Speaker 1: the other day when I was in Queensland, I spoke

748
00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:13,200
Speaker 1: to them last week about the gig and there was

749
00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:16,960
Speaker 1: all of these lawyers in a corporate space and then

750
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:19,279
Speaker 1: I said to the lady who's organizing it, please tell

751
00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:21,680
Speaker 1: me I don't have to wear a suit. Then she laughed,

752
00:41:21,920 --> 00:41:24,359
Speaker 1: I go, you don't want me in a suit. I'm

753
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:29,600
Speaker 1: not as good. I'm literally thirty I'm thirty percent more stupid.

754
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:32,840
Speaker 1: I go, you just want me wearing whatever I'm comfortable,

755
00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:35,279
Speaker 1: and then she goes, wear whatever you want. And it's like,

756
00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:39,600
Speaker 1: I know, I could probably overcome this, but even down

757
00:41:39,680 --> 00:41:43,680
Speaker 1: to what I wear affects how well my brain and

758
00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:48,760
Speaker 1: my emotion and my creativity and my mind in general works.

759
00:41:49,080 --> 00:41:54,200
Speaker 1: You know, So having that contextual and that situational awareness. Oh,

760
00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:56,799
Speaker 1: you know, on top of all this, food works for me,

761
00:41:57,040 --> 00:42:00,279
Speaker 1: like eating nuts before Ben doesn't work for Bobby. But

762
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:04,879
Speaker 1: we might also find well, creatively, Bobby's better when he's

763
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:08,400
Speaker 1: around other people and there's lots of kind of human

764
00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:11,799
Speaker 1: interaction and white noise. Then if he's sitting in some

765
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:16,399
Speaker 1: office space with white walls and the windows, you know.

766
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:24,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, for me, when I'm by myself in silence, sometimes

767
00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:27,000
Speaker 3: that just doesn't work for me. I'm not saying I

768
00:42:27,040 --> 00:42:28,960
Speaker 3: want to interact with people, because a lot of times

769
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:31,520
Speaker 3: when I'm doing creative work, I absolutely don't. But just

770
00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:34,440
Speaker 3: knowing they're there, I can see them, I can feel

771
00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:35,239
Speaker 3: their presence.

772
00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:40,640
Speaker 2: And another thing is is importance. The stronger what you're.

773
00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:43,600
Speaker 3: Doing is connected not just to an outcome or goal,

774
00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:48,200
Speaker 3: but of value, something that is inherently sacred to you,

775
00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:51,960
Speaker 3: the greater the chance of you engaging it and sustaining it.

776
00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:55,520
Speaker 3: So how important is this related to your values? How

777
00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:58,919
Speaker 3: is important? Is again identity? Like who do I want

778
00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:00,960
Speaker 3: to see myself at? Who do I want to be?

779
00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:07,200
Speaker 3: It's almost like the whole the Bukowski example. Charles Bukowski

780
00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:10,719
Speaker 3: struggled and was dysfunctional in just about every hour of

781
00:43:10,719 --> 00:43:15,880
Speaker 3: his life, but he was an infinitely prolific writer because

782
00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:19,200
Speaker 3: at his core, his identity was I'm a writer. So

783
00:43:19,239 --> 00:43:21,279
Speaker 3: it's not like he would stay up till three in

784
00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:24,839
Speaker 3: the morning writing because he was so disciplined. What else

785
00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:28,239
Speaker 3: does a writer do? A writer by nature writes, So

786
00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:31,560
Speaker 3: it was so ingrained in who he was he could

787
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:35,200
Speaker 3: not not write In interviews, he talks about how painful

788
00:43:35,239 --> 00:43:38,000
Speaker 3: it was to not sit down at the time think

789
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:41,920
Speaker 3: about this. This is something that most people struggle deeply with.

790
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:46,319
Speaker 3: For him, he's so identified with being a writer. He

791
00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:51,399
Speaker 3: deeply struggled in trying to abstain from writing. So who

792
00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:53,480
Speaker 3: do you want to be? And you know, where are

793
00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:56,880
Speaker 3: you starting? Like, what's your level of confidence? Basically, and

794
00:43:56,920 --> 00:44:00,480
Speaker 3: that's where you select. You want to select something that

795
00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:06,160
Speaker 3: is challenging. The more challenging the habit, the greater the

796
00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:10,960
Speaker 3: drive and sustainability. But not at first, at first start

797
00:44:11,080 --> 00:44:15,239
Speaker 3: where you can develop evidence that you are able to

798
00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:18,400
Speaker 3: do this as small as you need to make that habit.

799
00:44:18,719 --> 00:44:21,640
Speaker 3: And then as you start expanding the size of that habit,

800
00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:24,680
Speaker 3: you want something that's not so far out of your

801
00:44:24,719 --> 00:44:27,799
Speaker 3: capacity that it frustrates and overwhelms you, but enough that

802
00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:31,960
Speaker 3: it stretches you. Because that's actually a motivational force. Because

803
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:35,560
Speaker 3: if what you're doing is aligned to your true values,

804
00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:41,040
Speaker 3: intrinsic motivation is connected deeply to the pursuit of mastery.

805
00:44:41,640 --> 00:44:44,279
Speaker 3: That's not going to deter you, that's probably going to

806
00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:49,319
Speaker 3: engage you. And the third aspect is rituals. And I

807
00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:52,840
Speaker 3: see people really get into a lot of trouble here

808
00:44:53,440 --> 00:44:58,200
Speaker 3: because it's vague ambiguities rather than meaningful specifics that lead

809
00:44:58,280 --> 00:45:00,719
Speaker 3: them into habit formation, something.

810
00:45:00,520 --> 00:45:02,120
Speaker 2: Like I want to lose to.

811
00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:06,960
Speaker 3: Side that again, people run into a lot of trouble

812
00:45:07,160 --> 00:45:12,879
Speaker 3: around rituals because it's vague ambiguities rather than meaningful specifics

813
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:18,799
Speaker 3: that guide them into habit formation. And this is why

814
00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:22,360
Speaker 3: they struggle. It's like, well, I want to make more money. Okay,

815
00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:24,600
Speaker 3: what are we talking about here? Are we talking about

816
00:45:24,640 --> 00:45:27,600
Speaker 3: two dollars three five? Or are we talking about a million?

817
00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:31,040
Speaker 3: Like what exactly do you mean by that? Well, I'm

818
00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:33,680
Speaker 3: going to lose weight, Okay, Well, what's the behavior that's

819
00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:36,719
Speaker 3: kind of creating a barrier for that? And what behavior

820
00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:39,920
Speaker 3: would you rather do instead? So, like when are you

821
00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:42,480
Speaker 3: going to do this thing? How often are we talking

822
00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:44,560
Speaker 3: three days a week, five days a week, every day?

823
00:45:45,480 --> 00:45:47,680
Speaker 3: How long are you going to engage in this? For

824
00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:49,960
Speaker 3: like have a beginning and an end and it could

825
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:52,440
Speaker 3: be just five minutes a day to start. That's great,

826
00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:56,080
Speaker 3: but that is a definitive metric. And what that does

827
00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:59,200
Speaker 3: is it gives you all of these variables. Each variable

828
00:45:59,320 --> 00:46:03,880
Speaker 3: is another point of evidence increasing your self efficacy, your

829
00:46:03,960 --> 00:46:06,880
Speaker 3: level of confidence that you can engage in this. But

830
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:13,320
Speaker 3: it also creates a lot of variability around resilience. Resilience

831
00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:17,279
Speaker 3: has to do it adaptation. So if let's say on

832
00:46:17,680 --> 00:46:21,120
Speaker 3: a Thursday, I miss a meal, that's only one variable.

833
00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:24,120
Speaker 3: If it's like, okay, I'm going to eat better, well

834
00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:27,440
Speaker 3: that's all or nothing. Wow, I screwed up mine as well.

835
00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:30,440
Speaker 3: Eat everything that's not nailed down in your language, and

836
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:33,360
Speaker 3: I'll start again Monday. But if it's only one variable,

837
00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:36,760
Speaker 3: that was just one meal, one meal is specific time,

838
00:46:37,239 --> 00:46:39,160
Speaker 3: and then I could start.

839
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:40,520
Speaker 2: To learn from my failures.

840
00:46:40,920 --> 00:46:44,600
Speaker 3: The failures become more important than the successes because it's like, Okay,

841
00:46:44,840 --> 00:46:47,920
Speaker 3: what was different about lunch on a Thursday versus Monday

842
00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:50,719
Speaker 3: when it wasn't an issue? Ah, Okay, I know how

843
00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:54,719
Speaker 3: to modify that variable. So you're not only having behaviors

844
00:46:54,719 --> 00:46:56,680
Speaker 3: that are modifiable. You don't have to go through the

845
00:46:56,680 --> 00:46:59,920
Speaker 3: whole story about I failed on this and you're explained

846
00:46:59,960 --> 00:47:06,719
Speaker 3: toy style becomes dysfunctional, becomes permanent and pervasive and personal.

847
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:08,560
Speaker 2: No, it's just something that happened.

848
00:47:08,719 --> 00:47:11,279
Speaker 3: Oh and by the way, that gave me information that

849
00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:14,360
Speaker 3: allows me to plan better and move further along my

850
00:47:14,440 --> 00:47:18,440
Speaker 3: goals than if that setback never occurred, And finally, like,

851
00:47:18,480 --> 00:47:21,800
Speaker 3: what are you doing to reward this cycle? And sometimes

852
00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:24,759
Speaker 3: it could be just stopping and recognizing, going okay, how

853
00:47:24,760 --> 00:47:25,680
Speaker 3: do I feel right now?

854
00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:27,279
Speaker 2: Other times it.

855
00:47:27,239 --> 00:47:31,360
Speaker 3: Could be elictiting social support, like sending a text message

856
00:47:31,360 --> 00:47:35,399
Speaker 3: to someone who you know cares about you, supports you,

857
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:39,080
Speaker 3: and is not trying to derail you. You know this person,

858
00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:41,759
Speaker 3: now what, Oh you're doing this whole health kick thing.

859
00:47:41,840 --> 00:47:43,960
Speaker 2: One drink? You can't have one drink, crag.

860
00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:47,720
Speaker 3: It's like, not that person, I hate it, but someone

861
00:47:47,719 --> 00:47:49,400
Speaker 3: who's like, yeah, you know, I think this is a

862
00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:50,360
Speaker 3: really great idea.

863
00:47:50,760 --> 00:47:54,120
Speaker 2: You know what do you mean for me? I love you. Yeah.

864
00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:56,720
Speaker 3: By the way, I just went seven days without touching

865
00:47:56,760 --> 00:47:59,279
Speaker 3: a drink. I just went seven days without eating a cake.

866
00:47:59,719 --> 00:48:02,360
Speaker 3: You know, I went seven days by adding plants to

867
00:48:02,400 --> 00:48:05,680
Speaker 3: my food. Wow, the awesome job. That's a reward, that's

868
00:48:05,719 --> 00:48:10,000
Speaker 3: an enforcer, Rinse and repeat. So if you have a framework,

869
00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:12,840
Speaker 3: it's not like, oh, wow, now I've got a system

870
00:48:13,160 --> 00:48:17,840
Speaker 3: that will guide me through a series of successive wins.

871
00:48:18,080 --> 00:48:19,320
Speaker 2: That's not how life works.

872
00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:23,319
Speaker 3: But you have something to navigate through, and when the

873
00:48:23,320 --> 00:48:26,960
Speaker 3: inevitable setbacks occur, you can get back on track because

874
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:30,719
Speaker 3: your success is connected to the system, not how you

875
00:48:30,800 --> 00:48:32,719
Speaker 3: feel about it in the moment, not the story you're

876
00:48:32,719 --> 00:48:34,480
Speaker 3: telling yourself in your mind.

877
00:48:34,800 --> 00:48:36,840
Speaker 1: Wow, that was a lot. That was good, though, I

878
00:48:37,920 --> 00:48:41,840
Speaker 1: also think your honor, Like when I talk to people

879
00:48:41,880 --> 00:48:44,600
Speaker 1: about where they are now, Okay, so we're in a

880
00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:48,480
Speaker 1: place metaphorical, literal place of financial place, or physiological place,

881
00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:53,520
Speaker 1: or spiritual or sociological situation that we want to change, right,

882
00:48:53,560 --> 00:48:56,480
Speaker 1: So this where I am, this where I want to be.

883
00:48:56,480 --> 00:48:59,840
Speaker 1: Being able to recognize that I've kind of started and

884
00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:04,280
Speaker 1: stop this process a lot, and you know, it's it's

885
00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:08,200
Speaker 1: I make progress that I lose motivation. Then the motivation goes,

886
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:11,000
Speaker 1: so the behaviors go, so the results go, and now

887
00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:14,640
Speaker 1: it's July or now it's January or whatever. I think

888
00:49:15,640 --> 00:49:20,600
Speaker 1: part of it is also being able to be really

889
00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:25,640
Speaker 1: practical about what happened the last twenty times. So Craig,

890
00:49:25,880 --> 00:49:29,640
Speaker 1: you've tried this before, Yeah, cool, tell me what happened, Well,

891
00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:33,440
Speaker 1: this happened. That happened. Cool. So the thing is that, well,

892
00:49:33,480 --> 00:49:37,040
Speaker 1: how do we how do we outlast that emotional kind

893
00:49:37,080 --> 00:49:41,319
Speaker 1: of state, that excitement that euphoria, that motivation, that inspiration

894
00:49:41,440 --> 00:49:45,759
Speaker 1: that's probably going to disappear in the next week or two.

895
00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:48,600
Speaker 1: Well maybe you'll maintain it for a month or two

896
00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:51,480
Speaker 1: because you're a unicorn, but you're definitely got it. Not

897
00:49:51,520 --> 00:49:56,440
Speaker 1: going to stay permanently excited and motivated and inspired in perpetuity.

898
00:49:57,160 --> 00:50:00,400
Speaker 1: So how do I keep doing the thing that works

899
00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:03,520
Speaker 1: when I can't be fucked? How do I keep doing

900
00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:06,920
Speaker 1: the thing that works when it's not fun, quick, easy,

901
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:09,040
Speaker 1: or payments, or how do I keep doing the thing

902
00:50:09,120 --> 00:50:11,960
Speaker 1: that works when in the middle of the doing it's

903
00:50:12,040 --> 00:50:15,879
Speaker 1: not very rewarding, Like today it's not very I would

904
00:50:15,960 --> 00:50:19,000
Speaker 1: rather just eat that fucking pizza because that is rewarding.

905
00:50:19,680 --> 00:50:22,160
Speaker 1: It's like I skip the pizza. I don't have instant

906
00:50:22,160 --> 00:50:26,840
Speaker 1: weight loss. I eat the pizza. I have instant mouth gasm. Right,

907
00:50:27,280 --> 00:50:31,600
Speaker 1: And so that initially I think it's yes, we need structure,

908
00:50:31,640 --> 00:50:38,000
Speaker 1: we need process, we need accountability. But over time we

909
00:50:38,040 --> 00:50:42,040
Speaker 1: want to turn that thing that sometimes behavior into an

910
00:50:42,080 --> 00:50:46,600
Speaker 1: all the time behavior, which then becomes just a cognitive, emotional,

911
00:50:46,680 --> 00:50:49,680
Speaker 1: and behavioral default setting. So now this is just me.

912
00:50:50,200 --> 00:50:53,200
Speaker 1: This is not me trying, This is not me ticking

913
00:50:53,280 --> 00:50:56,640
Speaker 1: a box, This is not me being resilient. This is

914
00:50:56,719 --> 00:51:00,319
Speaker 1: not me making an effort, this is this is what

915
00:51:00,400 --> 00:51:02,719
Speaker 1: I do every day. Of Course I don't smoke, of

916
00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:05,319
Speaker 1: course I don't drink. Of course I lift weights every day.

917
00:51:05,719 --> 00:51:08,800
Speaker 1: But that's not me being disciplined. That's me being Craig Harper.

918
00:51:09,239 --> 00:51:11,879
Speaker 1: So there's no accolades for me in that. I don't

919
00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:14,359
Speaker 1: need a pad on the back for that. That's just

920
00:51:14,520 --> 00:51:16,480
Speaker 1: my you know. It's like you don't need to give

921
00:51:16,520 --> 00:51:18,560
Speaker 1: me a round of applause for cleaning my teeth or

922
00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:21,719
Speaker 1: having a shower. This is what I do. And so

923
00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:26,719
Speaker 1: in my mind it's always been how do we turn

924
00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:33,080
Speaker 1: that thing that you keep starting and stopping into something

925
00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:37,120
Speaker 1: that is just ingrained into your daily operating system, Because

926
00:51:37,160 --> 00:51:40,200
Speaker 1: when it just becomes part of who you are and

927
00:51:40,239 --> 00:51:43,560
Speaker 1: how you are, now you don't need to keep trying

928
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:47,560
Speaker 1: to find discipline and self control and motivation, you know,

929
00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:50,799
Speaker 1: because now that's you. That's you. You're the guy, You're

930
00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:54,560
Speaker 1: the girl who you don't drink. It's not like, oh,

931
00:51:54,600 --> 00:51:56,560
Speaker 1: you're being very good, you're on the wagon. No, you

932
00:51:56,600 --> 00:51:59,399
Speaker 1: don't fucking drink. Sure you used to, but you don't

933
00:51:59,440 --> 00:52:04,279
Speaker 1: now and you really don't. You're not just abstaining. You're

934
00:52:04,280 --> 00:52:08,360
Speaker 1: not just being disciplined, You're not just eating well. No,

935
00:52:08,520 --> 00:52:11,120
Speaker 1: this is how you eat full stop. This is how

936
00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:15,040
Speaker 1: you live full stop. This has become something which was

937
00:52:15,160 --> 00:52:20,520
Speaker 1: once a part time kind of operating thing to now

938
00:52:20,560 --> 00:52:24,000
Speaker 1: this is you. And I think that you know, for me,

939
00:52:24,160 --> 00:52:28,360
Speaker 1: that's the challenge of trying to create habits, you know,

940
00:52:28,480 --> 00:52:35,279
Speaker 1: subconsciously programmed, behaviorally programmed, socially programmed habits and behaviors which

941
00:52:35,440 --> 00:52:38,840
Speaker 1: truly reflect or align with your values and your goals.

942
00:52:39,360 --> 00:52:43,120
Speaker 1: Because I mean, life's always going to be hard work

943
00:52:43,200 --> 00:52:46,080
Speaker 1: on a level. But when we can kind of build

944
00:52:46,080 --> 00:52:50,239
Speaker 1: those behaviors or those habits that really kind of serve

945
00:52:50,360 --> 00:52:56,280
Speaker 1: us rather than sabotage us, then that makes that makes

946
00:52:56,320 --> 00:52:59,879
Speaker 1: some things much easier anyway. You know, like the things

947
00:53:00,040 --> 00:53:03,440
Speaker 1: that I like for me and you, I'm sure there

948
00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:07,800
Speaker 1: are so many things that I do that just work

949
00:53:07,920 --> 00:53:11,440
Speaker 1: well for me that don't require effort. It might require

950
00:53:11,480 --> 00:53:13,600
Speaker 1: physical effort because I've got to go and lift away,

951
00:53:13,680 --> 00:53:16,640
Speaker 1: but there's no sacrifice in that because I like it

952
00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:19,759
Speaker 1: and it works for me. And this is the other thing.

953
00:53:20,480 --> 00:53:22,600
Speaker 1: When the things that you once did that you didn't

954
00:53:22,719 --> 00:53:26,680
Speaker 1: enjoy actually become the things that you now enjoy because

955
00:53:26,719 --> 00:53:31,200
Speaker 1: they are positive in your life. Then it takes more

956
00:53:31,239 --> 00:53:33,680
Speaker 1: effort to stop it than to maintain it, if you

957
00:53:33,719 --> 00:53:34,319
Speaker 1: know what I mean.

958
00:53:35,239 --> 00:53:36,080
Speaker 2: Oh absolutely.

959
00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:40,920
Speaker 3: I think anybody who has started exercise and struggled with

960
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:45,280
Speaker 3: it but then has found themselves consistently exercising for years,

961
00:53:46,200 --> 00:53:52,560
Speaker 3: missing or workout is so much more difficult physically, emotionally,

962
00:53:52,880 --> 00:53:58,000
Speaker 3: mentally than getting to the gym. And again you're eight.

963
00:53:58,080 --> 00:54:01,200
Speaker 3: It's at that point it is not this plan. Exercise

964
00:54:01,320 --> 00:54:04,160
Speaker 3: is not something you do. It is a reflection of

965
00:54:04,200 --> 00:54:07,160
Speaker 3: who you are. I think a lot of it has

966
00:54:07,239 --> 00:54:09,279
Speaker 3: to do with how we talk to ourselves and how

967
00:54:09,320 --> 00:54:11,840
Speaker 3: we talk to each other when we're going around and

968
00:54:11,880 --> 00:54:16,280
Speaker 3: we're building these habits. So University College London, Philipp Lally

969
00:54:16,920 --> 00:54:20,120
Speaker 3: her research on habit formation, right what she found was

970
00:54:20,200 --> 00:54:25,799
Speaker 3: consistency was the number one success factor and it takes

971
00:54:25,840 --> 00:54:29,879
Speaker 3: anywhere from eighteen to two hundred and fifty four days

972
00:54:29,960 --> 00:54:32,560
Speaker 3: to form a habit. And I think that depends on

973
00:54:32,680 --> 00:54:36,759
Speaker 3: quite a few variables, so it's a wide range. But

974
00:54:37,120 --> 00:54:41,880
Speaker 3: let's talk about motivation. I just I just want to

975
00:54:41,920 --> 00:54:44,680
Speaker 3: talk about what I mean by motivation because I know

976
00:54:44,840 --> 00:54:47,960
Speaker 3: different people have different meanings they attached to it. For me,

977
00:54:48,120 --> 00:54:50,680
Speaker 3: motivation is a reason for doing something or behaving in

978
00:54:50,719 --> 00:54:55,480
Speaker 3: some way, So motivation becomes really important in doing anything.

979
00:54:55,520 --> 00:54:58,320
Speaker 3: I think when people say motivation, a lot of times

980
00:54:58,400 --> 00:55:01,440
Speaker 3: what they're talking about is excitement. Am I excited about

981
00:55:01,560 --> 00:55:04,480
Speaker 3: doing this? And you can be really excited about something

982
00:55:04,480 --> 00:55:07,280
Speaker 3: and get on the motorway and nobody's excited on the motorway.

983
00:55:07,400 --> 00:55:10,400
Speaker 3: I got the five Interstate out here by me. Nobody

984
00:55:10,480 --> 00:55:15,080
Speaker 3: has ever driven the five Interstate and in a state

985
00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:19,719
Speaker 3: of excitement except psychopaths because it's horrible. So you're not

986
00:55:19,840 --> 00:55:24,040
Speaker 3: going to be excited about doing something all day every day,

987
00:55:24,280 --> 00:55:28,680
Speaker 3: so you need something there. One value, aside from how

988
00:55:28,760 --> 00:55:31,759
Speaker 3: much is what I'm doing aligning with the identity that

989
00:55:31,800 --> 00:55:35,280
Speaker 3: I have or I want to have or my highest

990
00:55:35,400 --> 00:55:40,799
Speaker 3: values of a value that I'm placing a lot more

991
00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:45,440
Speaker 3: emphasis on developing is curiosity. Lately, I feel like curiosity

992
00:55:45,480 --> 00:55:48,200
Speaker 3: is an antidote for so many things, Like when you're

993
00:55:48,200 --> 00:55:51,120
Speaker 3: engaging in something, you got to understand that you know,

994
00:55:51,239 --> 00:55:57,520
Speaker 3: success is what comes to fruition as a result of right,

995
00:55:57,640 --> 00:56:02,080
Speaker 3: where behaviors are not going to bring about your outcome,

996
00:56:02,719 --> 00:56:05,880
Speaker 3: but they can be successful if they're rewarding in and

997
00:56:05,920 --> 00:56:10,000
Speaker 3: of themselves, Like what are you observing? What are you

998
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:14,600
Speaker 3: curious about? What are you learning from the behaviors you engaging?

999
00:56:15,280 --> 00:56:18,280
Speaker 3: So let's say I went to the gym three days

1000
00:56:18,320 --> 00:56:20,680
Speaker 3: this week and that's the first time in the years

1001
00:56:20,719 --> 00:56:23,239
Speaker 3: I've done that. What you learn about yourself, Like, what

1002
00:56:23,280 --> 00:56:26,160
Speaker 3: do you know about yourself now that you could put

1003
00:56:26,280 --> 00:56:31,080
Speaker 3: because that learning becomes an immediate reward attached to a behavior,

1004
00:56:32,280 --> 00:56:37,200
Speaker 3: and also understanding that you might have to restructure things

1005
00:56:37,239 --> 00:56:41,520
Speaker 3: because discipline fails, especially when you're exhausted, especially when you

1006
00:56:41,560 --> 00:56:44,800
Speaker 3: have decision fatigue. Like you talked about eating a pizza.

1007
00:56:45,640 --> 00:56:48,480
Speaker 3: You know, I am much more likely to eat pizza

1008
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:51,560
Speaker 3: in a pizza rhea than I am in a coffee shop.

1009
00:56:51,800 --> 00:56:56,680
Speaker 3: I'm just weird that way, right, So like maybe avoiding

1010
00:56:56,760 --> 00:57:00,480
Speaker 3: having pizza in the house or if you have family

1011
00:57:00,600 --> 00:57:04,520
Speaker 3: members that will just have an absolute fit over that

1012
00:57:04,560 --> 00:57:06,839
Speaker 3: because I'm not giving up my pizza because you're like

1013
00:57:06,960 --> 00:57:09,360
Speaker 3: at least not having it with such a high degree

1014
00:57:09,360 --> 00:57:12,680
Speaker 3: of accessibility. So there needs to be a space between

1015
00:57:12,719 --> 00:57:16,480
Speaker 3: stimulus and response. You got to think about stuff before

1016
00:57:16,520 --> 00:57:20,400
Speaker 3: you just reach for that food. And if Jill brings

1017
00:57:20,400 --> 00:57:24,400
Speaker 3: pizza into the office and you wind up eating it again.

1018
00:57:24,440 --> 00:57:27,280
Speaker 3: That's where a system is really important. What's the story

1019
00:57:27,320 --> 00:57:29,720
Speaker 3: you're telling yourself? Oh my god, I always do that. No,

1020
00:57:29,840 --> 00:57:32,040
Speaker 3: you just had one slice of pizza. One slice of

1021
00:57:32,080 --> 00:57:34,040
Speaker 3: pizza is not going to matter a month from now,

1022
00:57:34,080 --> 00:57:37,560
Speaker 3: Not to mention a year from now, get back on track.

1023
00:57:38,080 --> 00:57:39,880
Speaker 3: I think that becomes critical.

1024
00:57:40,640 --> 00:57:43,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, what's always interesting to talk to you? I'm always

1025
00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:47,440
Speaker 1: learning something. You are the perpetual teacher. You are the

1026
00:57:47,480 --> 00:57:51,240
Speaker 1: coach of coaches. Love talking to you. How do people

1027
00:57:51,840 --> 00:57:53,600
Speaker 1: find you? Follow you, connect with you?

1028
00:57:54,880 --> 00:57:59,560
Speaker 3: That's places LinkedIn Robert Caapuccio dot com, self help, antidote

1029
00:57:59,560 --> 00:58:01,640
Speaker 3: dot com.

1030
00:58:01,840 --> 00:58:06,320
Speaker 1: And what's your home addressing case people want to drop by.

1031
00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:10,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's that's two twenty two High Street. That's my

1032
00:58:10,640 --> 00:58:15,240
Speaker 3: take home address. Don't don't bother the sending a letter there.

1033
00:58:16,160 --> 00:58:18,760
Speaker 1: A nice good mate. Appreciate you. Thanks for being on

1034
00:58:18,800 --> 00:58:21,720
Speaker 1: the show again as you do every Thursday, well Friday.

1035
00:58:21,920 --> 00:58:22,920
Speaker 2: People love chatting to you.

1036
00:58:23,760 --> 00:58:24,520
Speaker 1: Thanks buddy.

1037
00:58:25,240 --> 00:58:25,920
Speaker 2: Thanks bybe