WEBVTT - #1951 Tidbits & Titbits - Harps & Tiff 0:00:00.960 --> 0:00:03.040 I'll get a team. Welcome to another instorm on the show, 0:00:03.040 --> 0:00:04.800 Tiffany and cooks back. I don't know if you've ever 0:00:04.840 --> 0:00:09.799 heard of her. She's a pugilist, she's she's the hostess 0:00:09.840 --> 0:00:14.040 with the mostess. She is the she's the life force. 0:00:14.680 --> 0:00:19.560 She's the blood that courses through the typ veins but 0:00:19.760 --> 0:00:23.480 also more importantly on Planet Tiffy Roll with the Punches 0:00:23.560 --> 0:00:28.080 podcast veins. So she's here, I'm here. It's a Saturday. 0:00:28.800 --> 0:00:32.400 We thought we'd get together and if you had an 0:00:32.440 --> 0:00:34.879 idea you wanted to, what do you want to do? 0:00:35.000 --> 0:00:36.159 Unpack a few things. 0:00:36.400 --> 0:00:41.600 I thought we'd wheel the whiteboard lessons out, wheel the 0:00:41.640 --> 0:00:44.959 whiteboard out and drill down on some of these lessons 0:00:45.000 --> 0:00:47.000 you post. 0:00:46.960 --> 0:00:49.559 Let's do let's do that, shall we? It's do you know? 0:00:49.640 --> 0:00:51.800 It's been. It's been a lot of years. It's been. 0:00:51.840 --> 0:00:56.040 There's a lot of six thousands something whiteboards there. 0:00:56.280 --> 0:01:00.480 It's the whiteboard University. Now. It is more than just 0:01:00.520 --> 0:01:01.000 a lesson. 0:01:01.760 --> 0:01:05.080 It's little life tidbits. It's some of them are silly 0:01:05.120 --> 0:01:07.320 and some of them are insightful. Some of them are 0:01:07.360 --> 0:01:10.720 a bit deep and philosophical. Some of them cause a 0:01:10.720 --> 0:01:14.679 bit of angst with some of the readers. Some people 0:01:14.760 --> 0:01:17.000 feel compelled to send me I hate your gut, you're 0:01:17.000 --> 0:01:19.880 a fucking idiot kind of email. Thank you, Brian got 0:01:19.920 --> 0:01:22.280 all of those. You're welcome. Welcome. 0:01:23.760 --> 0:01:25.800 Do you know what it's like though, it's similar to 0:01:25.959 --> 0:01:29.240 it's they're a little bit like Buddhism, whereas they're very 0:01:29.240 --> 0:01:33.399 simple but very deep depending on the person on the 0:01:33.440 --> 0:01:35.760 other end of them readings. 0:01:35.800 --> 0:01:38.520 So it's so, I mean this whole thing of you know, 0:01:38.600 --> 0:01:42.560 sharing thoughts and ideas and messages and not not me necessarily, 0:01:42.560 --> 0:01:46.479 but everyone who does that. It's yeah, like with Buddhism, 0:01:46.680 --> 0:01:49.080 or like little things that are extracted from the Bible 0:01:49.160 --> 0:01:53.400 or the Koran or the bag of the Vita. If 0:01:53.640 --> 0:01:58.000 is that the yeah, you know, like they're just a 0:01:58.000 --> 0:02:04.400 little like in sites, the little lessons, they're little, you know, tidbits, 0:02:04.480 --> 0:02:08.240 cognitive and emotional or spiritual tidbits. But the funny thing, 0:02:08.240 --> 0:02:10.720 and you know this is that what resonates with one person, 0:02:11.480 --> 0:02:12.959 we'll definitely not And then. 0:02:12.840 --> 0:02:17.200 I always thought it was tit bits, I wrote, I. 0:02:17.120 --> 0:02:23.240 Think it's tidbits. I don't think it's titbits, but I 0:02:23.280 --> 0:02:28.600 will stand corrected if and we could call this episode 0:02:28.680 --> 0:02:35.639 titbits in brackets by tip You're welcome. Yeah, yeah, ha 0:02:36.400 --> 0:02:43.280 ha ah. That's a funny start. That's a funny start. Yeah. 0:02:43.880 --> 0:02:47.040 Oh that does make me laugh. All right, So here's 0:02:47.040 --> 0:02:49.240 what we're going to do. You're going to share something 0:02:49.240 --> 0:02:51.320 that I wrote. I don't know what's coming, by the way, 0:02:51.919 --> 0:02:54.480 and I'll share. Also, you share some thoughts and ideas, 0:02:54.480 --> 0:02:57.000 because like, some of the things that I write that 0:02:57.080 --> 0:03:00.640 I think are really profound, it's more than it's just 0:03:00.720 --> 0:03:05.639 really profound for me, and some things. You know, sometimes 0:03:05.680 --> 0:03:10.440 you'll get a response which is somewhat underwhelming considering the 0:03:10.520 --> 0:03:12.960 millions of people that look at my shit each month, 0:03:13.840 --> 0:03:17.400 and you're like, ah, but then I'll write something that's 0:03:17.480 --> 0:03:20.960 essentially hey, don't be a dick head, and it goes nuts. 0:03:21.840 --> 0:03:25.840 So there's that, you know, there's that intersection of oh, 0:03:25.919 --> 0:03:28.880 what's going to work? And you know, like on on 0:03:29.440 --> 0:03:32.200 social media and on the internet in general, it's like, 0:03:32.280 --> 0:03:34.960 don't make it too long, make make it catchy, you know, 0:03:35.120 --> 0:03:37.600 make you know, lots of razzle, dazzle, don't do it 0:03:37.640 --> 0:03:41.720 post anything longer than twenty seconds. And you know, the 0:03:41.800 --> 0:03:44.600 longer thing that I the longer than my posts are 0:03:45.080 --> 0:03:45.880 generally the worse. 0:03:45.960 --> 0:03:49.880 They go, what do you reckon? Do your number one's been. 0:03:51.320 --> 0:03:51.640 Theme? 0:03:52.160 --> 0:03:54.920 Yeah? Or your number one post? The number one thing? 0:03:55.920 --> 0:03:59.440 I mean I wrote, I literally have put up a post, 0:03:59.520 --> 0:04:04.120 which you know, and that's the thing. Some of the funny, 0:04:04.400 --> 0:04:07.800 like so this one got over two million. Of course, 0:04:07.840 --> 0:04:10.840 life's a shit show, and then it's awesome, and then 0:04:10.840 --> 0:04:15.000 you're sad and then happy, and then it's lunchtime. Your 0:04:15.080 --> 0:04:17.400 challenge is not to create a perfect life, but rather 0:04:17.600 --> 0:04:21.680 to thrive in the inevitable imperfection of it all. And 0:04:21.720 --> 0:04:24.360 that's kind of a nice intersection of oh, yeah, that's 0:04:24.480 --> 0:04:27.479 kind of cute, and you know, it's like it's this 0:04:27.600 --> 0:04:30.440 and that it's like, fuck, life is that? And then 0:04:30.520 --> 0:04:33.040 the next line and then it's lunchtime, people go, oh, 0:04:33.080 --> 0:04:36.480 that's kind of a bit amusing. But also the message 0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:40.320 is that life is all of that. Life is not 0:04:40.400 --> 0:04:45.120 fun quick, easy. You're painless. Sometimes it's amazing, sometimes it's joyful, 0:04:45.240 --> 0:04:51.840 sometimes it's hysterical, sometimes it's painful, and like, really, what 0:04:51.839 --> 0:04:54.280 do we talk what is life? We're just really talking 0:04:54.360 --> 0:04:57.359 about the peaks and troughs of being a human and 0:04:57.400 --> 0:05:00.760 the experiences of being a human. So, and as you 0:05:00.839 --> 0:05:03.200 and I have said, even I think yesterday or the 0:05:03.240 --> 0:05:06.320 day before on a podcast, we were or some stage 0:05:06.360 --> 0:05:09.320 talking about you know, Socrates, who was around two and 0:05:09.360 --> 0:05:12.919 a half thousand years ago, was talking about self awareness. 0:05:13.680 --> 0:05:16.720 And in twenty twenty five, I'm doing a PhD in 0:05:16.880 --> 0:05:20.960 self awareness. It's like I've invented fucking nothing. There's nothing 0:05:21.000 --> 0:05:24.040 that I tell people that's new. I'm just a different 0:05:24.040 --> 0:05:27.960 bloke who does it a slightly different way. So, and 0:05:28.000 --> 0:05:32.240 I think that's the thing is it's like I, you know, 0:05:32.279 --> 0:05:34.440 people who put me on a pedestal, which is not many, 0:05:34.600 --> 0:05:38.920 just marm and Annie Marge. But like I always say, 0:05:39.000 --> 0:05:41.800 I'm not the wisdom, Like I'm just the conduit to 0:05:41.839 --> 0:05:44.320 the wisdom. I didn't invent any of these, you know, 0:05:44.480 --> 0:05:46.760 I might word it in a way that's a bit amusing, 0:05:47.760 --> 0:05:51.520 but that insight or that wisdom, or that expression of 0:05:51.600 --> 0:05:55.839 understanding of the human experience existed long before me. You know, 0:05:55.960 --> 0:05:58.719 self awareness having an awareness of who you are and 0:05:58.760 --> 0:06:00.560 how you are and why you are the way you are, 0:06:01.040 --> 0:06:05.120 which is my obsession. I didn't invent that. I just 0:06:05.240 --> 0:06:08.280 got bored on board the train that was already moving, 0:06:08.839 --> 0:06:13.360 you know, cognitive central you know, all right, hit me up. 0:06:13.720 --> 0:06:17.159 All right, first one at our call. We all want 0:06:17.160 --> 0:06:21.760 to be wanted, needed, valued, respected, understood, and loved. Problems 0:06:21.760 --> 0:06:24.360 arise when we seek those things from the wrong people. 0:06:25.040 --> 0:06:26.880 Yeah, I didn't think you go I don't know what 0:06:27.000 --> 0:06:31.080 I thought you'd go with, but I didn't think that. Yeah, 0:06:31.080 --> 0:06:33.800 that is interesting. I think sometimes in our effort to 0:06:33.880 --> 0:06:36.359 belong or to be loved, or to you know, have 0:06:36.640 --> 0:06:40.120 a person in our life, we will overlook or compromise 0:06:40.839 --> 0:06:45.320 on a lot of things that in the short term 0:06:45.839 --> 0:06:48.560 feels like love and connection and all of those things, 0:06:48.560 --> 0:06:50.760 but over the long term we find out, no, this 0:06:50.920 --> 0:06:54.760 is really just a form of self destruction because I'm 0:06:55.680 --> 0:07:00.720 not paying attention to the signs. I'm not the room 0:07:00.960 --> 0:07:04.280 and I'm letting a And it doesn't necessarily have to 0:07:04.360 --> 0:07:06.479 be a romance. It could be your boss, it could 0:07:06.520 --> 0:07:08.880 be a colleague, it could be your sister, it could 0:07:08.920 --> 0:07:12.160 be your mum, like it could be just any person 0:07:12.200 --> 0:07:15.160 that's in your life where you so much want to 0:07:15.200 --> 0:07:20.600 belong and have somebody that cares about you or you 0:07:20.680 --> 0:07:23.600 feel like cares about you, that you'll put up with 0:07:23.680 --> 0:07:26.160 a lot of shit that you know and I'm not 0:07:26.200 --> 0:07:29.200 talking about the regular peaks and troughs of relationships. I'm 0:07:29.240 --> 0:07:31.880 not talking about that. I'm talking about people who really 0:07:32.600 --> 0:07:37.240 are toxic. And that's you know, I think I think 0:07:37.320 --> 0:07:39.480 it's like, you know, it's nice to be nice, but 0:07:39.520 --> 0:07:41.280 it's not nice to be a doormat. It's good to 0:07:41.280 --> 0:07:43.800 be kind and empathetic and all of those things and 0:07:43.840 --> 0:07:48.320 to care about people, but you also need to have 0:07:48.480 --> 0:07:51.760 the ability to be able to say no, no, that's 0:07:51.800 --> 0:07:54.880 not okay. So that thing that you said not okay, 0:07:54.960 --> 0:07:58.520 that way that you treat me not okay. And I 0:07:58.560 --> 0:08:02.400 know this is complex because of the dynamics of relationships 0:08:02.440 --> 0:08:04.760 and DV and all of those things. So this is 0:08:04.800 --> 0:08:09.280 a very complicated area. But I think in general terms, 0:08:10.280 --> 0:08:13.880 you know, I'd rather two great friends than fifteen or 0:08:13.920 --> 0:08:18.080 twenty kind of alright, somewhat shit, you know, talk crap 0:08:18.120 --> 0:08:19.840 about you when you're not around friends. 0:08:21.240 --> 0:08:24.840 So with that, my question about that post is when 0:08:25.160 --> 0:08:28.920 for the readers, how often do you think that message 0:08:29.600 --> 0:08:35.960 is read and absorbed with the intended meaning and message 0:08:37.040 --> 0:08:40.280 for someone that's in it rather than someone that might 0:08:40.320 --> 0:08:41.600 be reflecting back. 0:08:42.800 --> 0:08:47.000 Yeah. Look, I mean I think most people kind of 0:08:47.040 --> 0:08:51.280 get the message. I think sometimes people say to me 0:08:51.360 --> 0:08:57.280 stuff like oh yeah, Craig, great, yeah, brilliant, not that easy, champ, 0:08:58.440 --> 0:09:02.560 And I'm like, I completely agree. And by the way, 0:09:02.679 --> 0:09:06.280 where show me where I said this is easy? Show 0:09:06.360 --> 0:09:08.640 me where I said this is fun or painless or 0:09:08.720 --> 0:09:13.560 quick or convenient. Of course, it's fucking hard, Like this 0:09:13.600 --> 0:09:18.080 stuff is real hard and real horrible sometimes. And I 0:09:18.120 --> 0:09:21.080 think the first part of getting out of toxic relationships 0:09:21.160 --> 0:09:25.520 or situations or things which are not good for your 0:09:25.559 --> 0:09:29.440 mental or emotional health broadly speaking, is to be able 0:09:29.480 --> 0:09:33.160 to recognize it, acknowledge it. And then maybe you're not 0:09:33.200 --> 0:09:35.840 going to fix it, change it or turn it around instantly. 0:09:35.920 --> 0:09:40.000 Maybe it's a work in progress. But yeah, I think 0:09:40.120 --> 0:09:42.200 that the start of anything, like the start of any 0:09:42.320 --> 0:09:44.360 positive change that you want to make in life, whether 0:09:44.400 --> 0:09:47.679 it's get fit, get healthy, get out of a toxic relationship, 0:09:47.720 --> 0:09:51.320 stop spending money that you don't need to spend, Stop 0:09:51.440 --> 0:09:56.959 stop putting yourself in debt unnecessarily, you know, start a business, 0:09:57.000 --> 0:09:59.800 get a you know, get yourself in a different situation. 0:10:00.040 --> 0:10:03.839 All of those things. It starts with with us saying, look, 0:10:04.240 --> 0:10:06.000 I need to do this, I don't know how to 0:10:06.040 --> 0:10:08.640 do it. Yet I don't know when I'll do it. 0:10:08.880 --> 0:10:11.880 I'm scared, and I'm all of this stuff, and but 0:10:12.000 --> 0:10:16.200 all of that's all right, But but doing nothing is 0:10:16.280 --> 0:10:17.079 never the answer. 0:10:18.760 --> 0:10:24.840 Ready for the next one, I'm ready, Remember, one can 0:10:24.880 --> 0:10:27.480 see the look on your face. You look like gout 0:10:27.480 --> 0:10:28.720 gout at the start line. 0:10:30.120 --> 0:10:32.280 I'll tell you what. He goes all right, doesn't he? 0:10:32.440 --> 0:10:32.800 He does. 0:10:33.840 --> 0:10:37.319 He makes me look like a fucking fungus at the 0:10:37.320 --> 0:10:44.320 bottom of a plant. Is full, is quick, He's quick. 0:10:46.880 --> 0:10:47.840 Hit me up, butter Cup. 0:10:48.040 --> 0:10:50.720 When I obsess about the past that I can't change 0:10:50.800 --> 0:10:53.680 and stress about the future that doesn't exist, yet, I 0:10:53.760 --> 0:10:56.120 miss out on the beauty of the present, the place 0:10:56.200 --> 0:10:56.760 I exist. 0:10:57.640 --> 0:10:59.760 Yeah, this is this is one of those kind of 0:11:00.360 --> 0:11:08.120 toll Buddhist Eastern philosophy, you know, one of those very philosophical, 0:11:08.160 --> 0:11:13.560 spiritual kind of constructs. And so when we think about 0:11:13.600 --> 0:11:17.320 the past, like when we think about last Wednesday, when 0:11:17.440 --> 0:11:20.319 last Wednesday, when we were in the middle of last Wednesday, 0:11:20.440 --> 0:11:24.079 we were in the middle of what was then the present, 0:11:24.880 --> 0:11:28.959 like the present moment last Wednesday at twelve o'clock, whatever 0:11:29.000 --> 0:11:31.839 you were doing, whatever I was doing at midday at 0:11:31.840 --> 0:11:33.959 that moment in time for me, it was now. At 0:11:33.960 --> 0:11:36.400 that moment, it was now for you, and then when 0:11:36.400 --> 0:11:39.240 it was one o'clock, it was still now, and then 0:11:39.280 --> 0:11:42.000 when it was you know, yesterday at midday, it was 0:11:42.040 --> 0:11:45.320 still now. Like life is a series of now moments. 0:11:45.400 --> 0:11:49.760 You can never live live being a present tense verb. 0:11:50.320 --> 0:11:53.000 You can never live in the past. You can never 0:11:53.200 --> 0:11:56.559 change the past, you can never live in the future. 0:11:57.280 --> 0:12:00.840 When next Wednesday comes around, which we call the future, 0:12:01.120 --> 0:12:05.760 as we are today on Saturday afternoon. In the context 0:12:05.760 --> 0:12:09.160 of this moment, next Wednesday is the future. But we 0:12:09.200 --> 0:12:12.680 can't live in next Wednesday yet because we're in Saturday afternoon. 0:12:12.760 --> 0:12:17.360 So when Wednesday comes around, it's just another installment of now. 0:12:17.760 --> 0:12:23.480 Which is not to say that the past, what we 0:12:23.559 --> 0:12:26.280 now refer to as the past, can't affect us in 0:12:26.280 --> 0:12:29.959 the present. It can. People get a bit confused with this. 0:12:30.880 --> 0:12:33.080 I'm not saying that what happened in the past won't 0:12:33.080 --> 0:12:36.800 affect you. Of course it will, you know, trauma, anxiety, 0:12:37.200 --> 0:12:41.480 all of those experiences. We absolutely get it. And I'm 0:12:41.520 --> 0:12:44.360 not being disrespectful or thoughtless when I say, but there's 0:12:44.480 --> 0:12:51.200 nothing that happened that we can change. Can we change 0:12:51.240 --> 0:12:55.240 how that impacts us in the moment. Yes, can we 0:12:55.360 --> 0:13:00.440 change our dialogue around an experience with and of that thing, 0:13:00.920 --> 0:13:04.480 Yes we can with therapy of all different kinds. But 0:13:04.600 --> 0:13:08.640 the thing that happened happened, so and the thing that's 0:13:08.640 --> 0:13:10.880 going to happen next week is going to happen next week. 0:13:11.480 --> 0:13:14.360 And so it's not that we don't care about the 0:13:14.400 --> 0:13:16.840 past or the future. It's not that we shouldn't consider 0:13:16.880 --> 0:13:19.520 the past or learn from the past. It's not that 0:13:19.559 --> 0:13:23.840 we shouldn't think about the future or plan for the 0:13:23.880 --> 0:13:27.800 future based on what we now know. It's just that 0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:31.000 we can only ever be in the present moment. And 0:13:31.080 --> 0:13:34.120 that's why I have such a gratitude for like right now, 0:13:34.120 --> 0:13:37.600 three twenty seven on a Saturday, Like, I'm never going 0:13:37.679 --> 0:13:41.920 to have the twenty sixth of July twenty twenty five 0:13:42.120 --> 0:13:45.200 at three twenty seven ever again in my life. And 0:13:45.280 --> 0:13:48.400 I know this is deep and philosophical, and twenty percent 0:13:48.400 --> 0:13:50.840 of the listeners are like, go harps, this is fucking amazing, 0:13:50.840 --> 0:13:53.079 and eighty percent like sharp a fuck up, tell a 0:13:53.120 --> 0:13:57.520 dick joke, right, But I mean, this is my point. 0:13:58.160 --> 0:14:04.240 We are always aligned with the familiarity of time, you know, 0:14:04.280 --> 0:14:06.840 fourteen hundred and forty minutes in a day. You know, 0:14:06.920 --> 0:14:08.840 you and I have had lots of Saturdays, but we've 0:14:08.840 --> 0:14:12.360 never had this Saturday. And there'll come a day where 0:14:12.400 --> 0:14:15.880 it's your last day. It's your last day. And if 0:14:15.880 --> 0:14:19.160 someone said to you, tif today's your last day, but 0:14:20.160 --> 0:14:21.960 if you give me all the shit that you have, 0:14:22.560 --> 0:14:26.440 you can have ten more days, you'd go take my shit, right, 0:14:26.760 --> 0:14:29.520 Probably depending on that if you're in extreme agony or that, 0:14:29.600 --> 0:14:32.800 probably not. But you know what I'm saying. And so 0:14:33.920 --> 0:14:36.680 what's more important your things all your life? Well, it's 0:14:36.680 --> 0:14:39.080 a no brainer. What's more important how you look or 0:14:39.120 --> 0:14:41.800 your life? What's more important what people think you or 0:14:41.840 --> 0:14:45.440 your life? Right? Nonetheless, we are so obsessed with all 0:14:45.480 --> 0:14:48.760 of the things that ultimately only matter because we think 0:14:48.800 --> 0:14:54.040 they matter, and so my and when you think something matters, 0:14:54.040 --> 0:14:56.480 By the way, this is not judgmental, because I'm exactly 0:14:56.480 --> 0:14:59.840 the same. If I think connection and love and co 0:15:00.120 --> 0:15:05.720 passion and kindness and service really matter, then that's my experience. 0:15:06.600 --> 0:15:10.600 If I think what people think my motorbike collection really matters, 0:15:10.840 --> 0:15:15.480 then that's what really matters to me. Until something happens 0:15:15.560 --> 0:15:18.520 and I have a paradigm shift and I go, oh, 0:15:18.560 --> 0:15:22.240 this shit is pointless because what I really need is 0:15:22.320 --> 0:15:26.760 I need emotional and spiritual and social and intimate connection 0:15:27.120 --> 0:15:29.800 with people that love me and I love That's it. 0:15:31.400 --> 0:15:36.280 Well, what's your experience with how long it took or 0:15:36.360 --> 0:15:39.200 takes or how often it happens that you can take 0:15:39.760 --> 0:15:45.280 these moments of introspection and perspective, because I know I 0:15:45.320 --> 0:15:47.640 can experience them and have them, and they're like epiphanies 0:15:47.680 --> 0:15:49.600 and it's like, fuck, I'll put that on a bloody 0:15:49.640 --> 0:15:52.040 tile and put it out to the world. But how 0:15:53.800 --> 0:15:56.920 easy is it then for that to start integrating into 0:15:57.120 --> 0:16:00.920 just how you call it, equanimity alive? How you just 0:16:01.600 --> 0:16:04.600 show up in that moment often? How often do you 0:16:04.680 --> 0:16:07.480 stay there? And how often do you get pulled back? 0:16:08.280 --> 0:16:11.840 That was a great question because all of us have 0:16:13.360 --> 0:16:16.000 self interest, all of us have ego, all of us 0:16:16.160 --> 0:16:20.400 like comfort, all of us like convenience, all of these things, 0:16:20.520 --> 0:16:27.520 and me included, maybe me the most. It is to 0:16:28.360 --> 0:16:31.120 live in alignment with your values, to really not while 0:16:31.160 --> 0:16:34.240 people are looking, not while you know you're videoing your 0:16:34.280 --> 0:16:39.240 fucking self on Instagram to get some kind of you know, accolades, 0:16:39.280 --> 0:16:41.960 Oh look at me being humble and just helping people 0:16:42.000 --> 0:16:44.840 while I've got a fucking camera crew following me. That's 0:16:44.880 --> 0:16:48.200 not service, that's ego. Right Have I ever done well? 0:16:48.240 --> 0:16:50.160 Not that I've never done that, but have I ever 0:16:50.200 --> 0:16:53.600 done shit out of ego? While kind of thinking I was, yes, 0:16:53.640 --> 0:16:58.120 of course I have right. This is you know, personal development, 0:16:58.240 --> 0:17:04.080 real growth, real and deconstructing and reconstructing. Let's say you 0:17:04.400 --> 0:17:08.560 as a person. It's just fucking hard. It's not it's hard, 0:17:08.640 --> 0:17:11.879 and it's ongoing. But I think a great way to 0:17:12.040 --> 0:17:15.719 stay closer to that space that we're talking about. Tiffany 0:17:15.760 --> 0:17:21.720 and Cook is two. But do it, don't go And 0:17:21.800 --> 0:17:23.639 I mean you, I mean all of us, you me. 0:17:23.920 --> 0:17:27.120 I do it every day. I truly do it every 0:17:27.240 --> 0:17:30.440 well unless I forget, but I would say three hundred 0:17:30.440 --> 0:17:32.760 and sixty days of the year. I have little practice. 0:17:32.760 --> 0:17:34.800 And my practice is what are three things that I'm 0:17:34.800 --> 0:17:37.200 super grateful for? And I do it when I sit 0:17:37.240 --> 0:17:42.240 at the coffee table in the morning. And sometimes it's 0:17:42.240 --> 0:17:44.920 the same things. And sometimes it's that I can walk, 0:17:45.000 --> 0:17:50.720 Sometimes that Dad's alive. Sometimes it's that it's that the 0:17:50.800 --> 0:17:54.320 crabs alive. That you know, my mate died in the 0:17:54.359 --> 0:17:56.679 gym and now he's not dead. Like I'm saying, and 0:17:56.720 --> 0:18:00.119 it's like I'm going to his sixtieth birthday tonight. It 0:18:00.160 --> 0:18:03.359 was a very very big possibility. He wasn't going to 0:18:03.400 --> 0:18:06.399 have a fifty fifth birthday, lit alone a sixtieth. And 0:18:06.440 --> 0:18:09.680 I'm so grateful. And if you said to me or so, 0:18:09.920 --> 0:18:13.639 if God came down and went, hey, Craig, the crab 0:18:13.680 --> 0:18:16.760 can live for ten more years. But in or he's 0:18:16.800 --> 0:18:19.120 going to die tomorrow. But in order of for him 0:18:19.119 --> 0:18:20.960 to live ten more years, you've got to give me 0:18:21.160 --> 0:18:23.960 everything that you own. I'm like, take it, God, not 0:18:24.000 --> 0:18:27.120 a problem. I can get more shit. I can't get him. 0:18:27.359 --> 0:18:30.920 I can't get another hymn right, And people go, yeah, 0:18:30.960 --> 0:18:34.000 sure you would. I think you know me pretty well. Like, 0:18:34.359 --> 0:18:36.200 by the way, do I want to lose all my shit? 0:18:36.320 --> 0:18:39.000 Definitely not. I like my shit. 0:18:40.480 --> 0:18:42.760 Jackon, he'd let you at least keep one of the motorbikes, 0:18:43.840 --> 0:18:45.200 because God's a pretty good dude. 0:18:45.840 --> 0:18:49.640 But you know what, yeah, well yeah, I mean yeah. 0:18:49.680 --> 0:18:52.520 The thing is that it's just like self help personal growth. 0:18:52.520 --> 0:18:56.840 It's not glamorous. It's not it's like, you know, even 0:18:57.800 --> 0:18:59.760 whether or not you believe the Bible or but even 0:19:00.520 --> 0:19:05.280 you know, so jesus right hand man was Peter right, 0:19:06.280 --> 0:19:10.480 who allegedly was the first pope. Kind of well, one 0:19:10.560 --> 0:19:13.600 day Jesus was hanging out with some people and I 0:19:13.640 --> 0:19:15.920 think it was a soldier that approached him and tried 0:19:15.920 --> 0:19:20.640 to grab him. Peter, who was like top dog number 0:19:20.640 --> 0:19:23.680 one apostle, got his sword out and cut off old 0:19:23.680 --> 0:19:28.280 mate's ear. So you know, everyone's a work in progress. 0:19:29.560 --> 0:19:31.919 You know, it's like, yeah, of course he lost his 0:19:31.960 --> 0:19:36.720 shit and Jesus turned him in saith, don't lose thou 0:19:36.760 --> 0:19:40.600 shittest pete or something like that. I might have the 0:19:40.640 --> 0:19:44.480 scripture wrong, you know. There's another scripture that actually says 0:19:44.520 --> 0:19:46.600 don't add to the scriptures, which I just did. So 0:19:46.640 --> 0:19:51.000 I apologize God and everyone else. But yeah, I this 0:19:51.240 --> 0:19:55.400 and for me, like these little whiteboards or tiles as 0:19:55.440 --> 0:19:59.120 you call them, they're just a really a fun way 0:19:59.160 --> 0:20:01.960 to share thoughts ideas. But have you got another one? 0:20:01.960 --> 0:20:03.440 Are you ready to go? Yeah? I got to another 0:20:03.480 --> 0:20:04.320 one in the spot. 0:20:04.440 --> 0:20:05.920 I'm locked and loaded. Are you ready? 0:20:06.400 --> 0:20:07.000 I'm ready? Does? 0:20:07.040 --> 0:20:09.199 I feel like a lot of people will see this 0:20:09.280 --> 0:20:10.879 one from you and be like, well, that's a bit 0:20:10.920 --> 0:20:14.520 of a red herring from Harts. Next time someone compliments. 0:20:14.560 --> 0:20:17.520 You don't dismiss it, don't put yourself down, don't point 0:20:17.560 --> 0:20:20.800 out the flaws, and don't turn positive into another moment 0:20:20.840 --> 0:20:24.040 of self loading. Instead, just say thanks. 0:20:24.640 --> 0:20:27.200 Well, we all do that, but as you quite rightly 0:20:27.320 --> 0:20:29.960 point out, I do that about me. I am a 0:20:30.040 --> 0:20:33.960 work in progress on this for me, it is And 0:20:34.000 --> 0:20:36.159 so are you kind of highlighting the fact that I 0:20:36.240 --> 0:20:37.520 put myself down a fair bit? 0:20:38.040 --> 0:20:42.120 Yeah, and so yeah, yeah, yes, yeah. 0:20:41.560 --> 0:20:44.080 So yeah. I know I've got to work on this. 0:20:44.320 --> 0:20:47.360 I because and you and I said this on your 0:20:47.400 --> 0:20:50.560 podcast recently, and what I think I want people to 0:20:50.560 --> 0:20:53.000 know that when I say this, I'm not being disingenuous. 0:20:53.000 --> 0:20:56.679 When I say I don't think highly of me, it 0:20:56.720 --> 0:20:59.160 doesn't mean I think I'm a piece of shit, right, 0:21:00.640 --> 0:21:02.720 But I don't think I'm a genius. I don't think 0:21:02.760 --> 0:21:04.880 I'm a gift to the world. I don't think any 0:21:04.920 --> 0:21:08.560 of that shit, right. But I'm so grateful for where 0:21:08.600 --> 0:21:10.320 I am and what I have and what I get 0:21:10.400 --> 0:21:16.440 to do. And I probably need to do a deep 0:21:16.480 --> 0:21:19.080 dive on the origin story of that, like what is 0:21:19.119 --> 0:21:23.520 that about? But if somebody said to you, harps is awesome, 0:21:23.520 --> 0:21:25.679 and you told me that, I would like that, but 0:21:25.760 --> 0:21:28.640 if somebody says that to my face, I don't. It's 0:21:28.680 --> 0:21:30.800 not that I don't like it, I'm uncomfortable with it. 0:21:31.600 --> 0:21:33.560 So but yeah, I need to be better at that. 0:21:34.160 --> 0:21:36.560 I'm no good at that. I'm better than I used 0:21:36.560 --> 0:21:40.640 to be most times when someone like you can see 0:21:40.640 --> 0:21:43.879 when someone writes a really nice compliment, these days, I 0:21:44.000 --> 0:21:45.880 just say thank you and I put a little heart, 0:21:46.240 --> 0:21:48.960 you know, I don't try to talk them out of 0:21:49.000 --> 0:21:49.760 my awesomeness. 0:21:51.160 --> 0:21:56.199 What's your relationship with your feelings, as in, do you 0:21:56.440 --> 0:22:00.680 feel like they are an integral part of you and 0:22:00.840 --> 0:22:05.920 who you are? Because there's that separation of being reactive, 0:22:06.000 --> 0:22:08.280 like we have to have this relationship with how we 0:22:08.359 --> 0:22:13.600 feel and having an objective view on what's happening and 0:22:13.640 --> 0:22:15.719 why we feel a certain way. How do you manage that? 0:22:15.960 --> 0:22:22.960 Or yeah, okay, So so we have feelings but we're 0:22:22.960 --> 0:22:25.720 not feelings. We have thoughts but we're not thoughts. We 0:22:25.800 --> 0:22:27.800 have a body, but we're not a body, right, it's 0:22:27.880 --> 0:22:31.720 these are experiences and like, the funny thing is when 0:22:31.760 --> 0:22:39.560 it comes to emotions feelings, I can feel unworthy while 0:22:39.680 --> 0:22:45.840 knowing that's not true. Yeah, right, So there's the logical 0:22:46.040 --> 0:22:50.520 critical thinking brain, the awareness that will Craig, you've done 0:22:50.560 --> 0:22:52.840 this quite a few times and you've got a lot 0:22:52.880 --> 0:22:55.840 of You've got way more positive than negative feedback. You know, 0:22:55.960 --> 0:22:59.960 as a let's say, corporate speaker, you're you're all right, 0:23:00.160 --> 0:23:03.359 You're not terrible. But I could get up there and 0:23:03.520 --> 0:23:06.600 feel like not good enough on the day, or I 0:23:06.720 --> 0:23:10.000 just acknowledge those things for what they are, especially when 0:23:10.040 --> 0:23:15.840 it's that super self loathing stuff. But so it's not 0:23:15.920 --> 0:23:18.680 always the same response. I might be in a situation 0:23:18.760 --> 0:23:22.600 where I feel some low level fear or anxiety, and 0:23:22.640 --> 0:23:27.879 I think sometimes that's my subconscious mind that knows something 0:23:27.920 --> 0:23:33.239 that my prefrontal cortex hasn't become aware of yet, or 0:23:34.560 --> 0:23:41.199 whatever intuition, instinct, god, divine awareness, whatever you want to 0:23:41.240 --> 0:23:45.679 call it. I mean, yeah, I've had so many of 0:23:45.680 --> 0:23:49.920 those things in my life where it seems like psychobabb 0:23:50.000 --> 0:23:53.200 or bullshit. And especially someone who's literally studying the brain 0:23:53.240 --> 0:23:58.000