WEBVTT - BASE Jumper Jeb Corliss on Dedicating His Life to Human Flight 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:03.360 We'd like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land 0:00:03.480 --> 0:00:06.800 on which this podcast was produced, the Galligle people of 0:00:06.880 --> 0:00:10.440 the orination. We pay our respects to Elder's past and present. 0:00:11.160 --> 0:00:15.400 This episode contains discussion of suicide. If this raises any 0:00:15.440 --> 0:00:18.320 issues for you, support is available through the links and 0:00:18.400 --> 0:00:19.960 phone numbers in the show notes. 0:00:22.560 --> 0:00:25.759 It's nineteen eighty two and we're in New Mexico. 0:00:26.239 --> 0:00:28.639 Six year old Jeb Carlis is in the back of 0:00:28.640 --> 0:00:34.280 his aunt's car watching birds soaring above. He announces, when 0:00:34.280 --> 0:00:38.160 I get older, I'm going to do that. His aunt 0:00:38.200 --> 0:00:41.440 explains that when he gets older, he realized that humans 0:00:41.479 --> 0:00:45.480 can't fly. Jeb will go on to dedicate the next 0:00:45.520 --> 0:00:49.440 forty two years of his life to human flight, from 0:00:49.479 --> 0:00:53.120 major feats like the Eiffel Tower to the Golden Gate Bridge. 0:00:53.280 --> 0:00:58.640 Jeb is compelled and propelled by fear, but he isn't 0:00:58.680 --> 0:00:59.720 afraid of death. 0:01:00.280 --> 0:01:01.160 He expects it. 0:01:03.720 --> 0:01:08.040 I'm at Middleton and this is head Game today, one 0:01:08.040 --> 0:01:11.360 of the world's greatest base jumpers on pushing this human 0:01:11.440 --> 0:01:19.080 body to its absolute limits. Jeb calls, it's an absolute 0:01:19.080 --> 0:01:21.039 pleasure to have you on my podcast. 0:01:21.120 --> 0:01:21.920 Head Game Now. 0:01:22.080 --> 0:01:25.360 Jeb spends more time in the air than he does 0:01:25.400 --> 0:01:28.120 with his feet firmly on the ground. He is one 0:01:28.160 --> 0:01:31.840 of the world's greatest base jumpers. Jeb, how are you, mate? 0:01:32.319 --> 0:01:34.960 I am doing spectacular. This whole being a live thing 0:01:35.120 --> 0:01:37.480 is super super awesome, you know what. 0:01:37.600 --> 0:01:38.400 I love that, mate. 0:01:38.680 --> 0:01:41.200 I've got that gratitude as well with some of the 0:01:41.240 --> 0:01:44.440 experiences that you've been through. You know, just waking up, 0:01:44.720 --> 0:01:47.360 taking that deep breath, being able to open your eyes 0:01:47.480 --> 0:01:49.880 is you know, we're hugely grateful for that. 0:01:50.320 --> 0:01:53.560 Yeah. I don't think people understand how rad it is 0:01:53.600 --> 0:01:55.919 to not be dead like this. Being a live stuff 0:01:56.000 --> 0:01:59.040 is super cool, and being dead is super lame. I mean, 0:01:59.120 --> 0:02:01.920 OR had so many friends who died like twenty years ago, 0:02:02.360 --> 0:02:04.520 and I look at the last twenty years and just go, man, 0:02:04.560 --> 0:02:08.520 you guys missed out on such cool shit. Life is 0:02:08.560 --> 0:02:11.560 so amazing. And it's weird because when you're younger, you 0:02:11.639 --> 0:02:15.760 don't seem to appreciate like what life really is. You know, 0:02:15.840 --> 0:02:18.320 it's strange. You have to kind of live long enough 0:02:18.760 --> 0:02:21.600 for life to kind of teach you like how to 0:02:21.639 --> 0:02:24.280 actually live it. It's strange. It's a weird experience. But 0:02:24.320 --> 0:02:26.480 I feel really grateful now where I didn't when I 0:02:26.520 --> 0:02:27.560 was younger, which is strange. 0:02:27.919 --> 0:02:29.560 Yeah, you're right though, mate. You know, you go through 0:02:29.560 --> 0:02:32.680 these life experiences, you know, especially with yourself. You know, 0:02:32.760 --> 0:02:35.640 you go to these heights of fear, you scrape the 0:02:35.680 --> 0:02:38.000 bowl when it comes to treading that line of life 0:02:38.000 --> 0:02:40.880 and death, you know, And that comes through, obviously, experience, 0:02:41.000 --> 0:02:43.200 it comes through getting out there, It comes through committing 0:02:43.240 --> 0:02:45.720 to life and committing to yourself. And that's what I 0:02:45.720 --> 0:02:48.560 love about you, mate. I love that your attitude. You 0:02:48.600 --> 0:02:51.640 had this I'm going to prove you wrong. Attitude from 0:02:51.639 --> 0:02:53.560 the age of six, when you were in the car 0:02:53.639 --> 0:02:55.639 with your aunt, right, take me back to that moment. 0:02:56.160 --> 0:03:00.480 Yeah. So it's funny because when I was kid, I 0:03:00.560 --> 0:03:02.239 had a lot of dreams and I was very unrealistic 0:03:02.280 --> 0:03:04.400 about a lot of things. I had a very active imagination, 0:03:04.680 --> 0:03:07.799 and you know, I had a lot of adults tell 0:03:07.840 --> 0:03:12.320 me that my you know, imagination was unrealistic, and you know, 0:03:12.360 --> 0:03:15.280 they may have been right. It may have been very unrealistic. 0:03:15.360 --> 0:03:18.720 But as it turns out, I was sitting in the 0:03:18.720 --> 0:03:22.000 backseat of my aunt's car. I was looking out the winder. 0:03:22.040 --> 0:03:25.480 I was like six years old, and I remember seeing 0:03:25.520 --> 0:03:28.400 birds standing on a telephone pole, like on the wire, 0:03:28.760 --> 0:03:30.919 and I remember them jumping off and opening their wings 0:03:30.919 --> 0:03:32.519 and starting to fly, and I remember going like, you know, 0:03:32.560 --> 0:03:34.080 when I get older, I'm doing that, you know. And 0:03:34.120 --> 0:03:36.440 my aunt, you know, kind of looked out the window 0:03:36.480 --> 0:03:38.560 and saw what I was looking at, and she's just like, oh, 0:03:38.640 --> 0:03:40.280 you know, you're really young. But when you get older, 0:03:40.320 --> 0:03:43.120 you're gonna realize that's just not physically possible. And it's 0:03:43.320 --> 0:03:48.560 interesting because now looking back, it's really fascinating when people 0:03:48.600 --> 0:03:50.760 tell you you can't do something right, when they're saying 0:03:50.800 --> 0:03:53.080 you can't do this or you can't do that, really 0:03:53.120 --> 0:03:55.880 what they're saying is I can't do it. What they're 0:03:55.920 --> 0:03:58.280 telling you is something that they're incapable of. And it's 0:03:58.320 --> 0:04:00.640 really interesting because when you say you want to do something, 0:04:01.000 --> 0:04:03.120 you know, they don't know what you're capable of. They 0:04:03.120 --> 0:04:04.880 don't know who you are, they don't know what you 0:04:05.000 --> 0:04:07.400 can do, but they do know who they are. They 0:04:07.400 --> 0:04:08.760 do know what they can do. 0:04:08.880 --> 0:04:10.720 And they don't know what goes on in here right 0:04:11.080 --> 0:04:13.280 exactly what it was ticking in the back of your head. 0:04:13.440 --> 0:04:16.880 And and they they try to place their limits on you. 0:04:16.880 --> 0:04:18.720 And that's when they're telling you. When anyone tells you 0:04:18.720 --> 0:04:21.120 you can't do something, really they're saying they can't do it. 0:04:21.160 --> 0:04:23.200 And it's a fascinating thing because you know, at the 0:04:23.200 --> 0:04:25.240 time I was young, I don't understand that I'm just 0:04:25.279 --> 0:04:26.920 being told I can't do something. And I even then, 0:04:26.960 --> 0:04:29.560 I was like, yeah, whatever, maybe you can't, but I'm 0:04:29.560 --> 0:04:32.320 going to you know, And that was just my personality. 0:04:32.360 --> 0:04:33.839 That's the kind of person I was, even as a 0:04:33.839 --> 0:04:37.600 little little kid. But it's interesting because you know, I 0:04:37.880 --> 0:04:40.400 had my first near death experience when I was six, 0:04:41.440 --> 0:04:45.080 and it told me free that it's complicated, you know, 0:04:45.120 --> 0:04:47.640 I was. My parents were art dealers when I was 0:04:47.680 --> 0:04:50.360 a child, and they used to travel to foreign countries 0:04:50.400 --> 0:04:55.560 like India, Nepal, Pakistan, and at five, we went on 0:04:55.600 --> 0:05:00.120 a year long trip through India and Nepal, and when 0:05:00.160 --> 0:05:03.719 I was in New Delhi, India, I got like, I 0:05:03.760 --> 0:05:05.240 think we're like towards the end of the trip, so 0:05:05.240 --> 0:05:08.320 I turned. I went from five and turned six while 0:05:08.320 --> 0:05:12.359 it was in India, and I got something called the 0:05:12.360 --> 0:05:14.800 Deli belly, which is like a really aggressive form of 0:05:14.800 --> 0:05:20.719 a mubic dysentery and it, you know, I my parents 0:05:20.760 --> 0:05:23.320 took me to a doctor who told them I was 0:05:23.360 --> 0:05:25.760 going to die, that he could do nothing for me, 0:05:25.839 --> 0:05:27.600 and that I was not going to make it. I'd 0:05:27.600 --> 0:05:29.560 already lost over a third of my body weight and 0:05:29.600 --> 0:05:33.120 I was already in a really bad way. Amoebic dysentery 0:05:33.240 --> 0:05:36.040 and New Delhi is really bad. Like it's super serious. 0:05:36.080 --> 0:05:38.120 It's a it's seriously the worst place you can get it, 0:05:38.480 --> 0:05:40.599 one of the worst, and it's serious for an adult, 0:05:40.680 --> 0:05:42.520 but for a child, you know, a five six year 0:05:42.560 --> 0:05:45.159 old kid, it's super serious. And and like I said, 0:05:45.200 --> 0:05:46.680 the first doctor they took me to who told them 0:05:46.680 --> 0:05:48.240 I was going to die, like they're like, there's nothing 0:05:48.279 --> 0:05:51.000 we can do. And they didn't like that. Obviously my 0:05:51.000 --> 0:05:52.720 parents like, okay, second opinion on that one. You know, 0:05:52.760 --> 0:05:54.839 obviously they were not going So they took me to 0:05:54.880 --> 0:05:57.920 another doctor and and this was a more western doctor, 0:05:57.960 --> 0:06:00.560 and they said, you know, they're, well, this bad. We're 0:06:00.560 --> 0:06:01.920 not going to pretend like it isn't, you know, but 0:06:02.000 --> 0:06:03.720 we're gonna do what we can do. And I didn't 0:06:03.800 --> 0:06:06.640 end up dying, but I did go through three months 0:06:06.680 --> 0:06:11.520 of serious hallucinations and like like serious problems. I mean, 0:06:11.560 --> 0:06:13.920 it was it wasn't a joke and I remember it 0:06:13.960 --> 0:06:18.680 like I can still remember going through the suffering. And 0:06:20.320 --> 0:06:23.359 it's weird because after that I realized that I was 0:06:23.400 --> 0:06:26.400 going to die. I just knew it. I mean, it's coming. 0:06:26.640 --> 0:06:27.520 Death is coming for me. 0:06:27.960 --> 0:06:30.159 And it was strange, but not in that moment you 0:06:30.240 --> 0:06:33.000 just thought, well, actually, we're we're mortal. 0:06:32.800 --> 0:06:35.160 You know, we die, We're die. 0:06:35.240 --> 0:06:39.000 Yes, it's when I understood death was coming, right, not 0:06:39.080 --> 0:06:43.000 that right this act. I survived this, but it's going 0:06:43.040 --> 0:06:45.000 to happen. And I think that, you know, a lot 0:06:45.080 --> 0:06:48.040 of people think that, you know, the transition from childhood 0:06:48.040 --> 0:06:51.440 to adulthood, you know, is some age. I don't think so. 0:06:52.040 --> 0:06:54.920 I think that the transition from child to adult is 0:06:55.000 --> 0:06:59.080 understanding death. And I've met ninety year olds who still 0:06:59.080 --> 0:07:01.320 don't understand death, and as far as I'm concerned, they're 0:07:01.320 --> 0:07:05.080 still children. You know. I've also met, like you've met 0:07:05.160 --> 0:07:09.400 kids who have experienced near death experiences and understand death, 0:07:09.920 --> 0:07:12.400 and they are, in my opinion, adults. You know, once 0:07:12.480 --> 0:07:16.040 you once you truly grasp what death is, and once 0:07:16.080 --> 0:07:20.520 you truly accept that it's coming for you, you grow up. 0:07:21.080 --> 0:07:24.680 You know, you become you understand it's you're forced to 0:07:24.720 --> 0:07:28.120 grow up well. And it's and it's a philosophical understanding 0:07:28.280 --> 0:07:31.920 because once you truly grasp death, and you truly grasp 0:07:32.000 --> 0:07:34.240 it's coming to an end, all of a sudden, the 0:07:34.240 --> 0:07:37.760 little bit of time you get to exist matters so 0:07:37.960 --> 0:07:41.120 much more. All of a sudden, every moment becomes so 0:07:41.320 --> 0:07:45.320 crucially important to you because you realize they're limited. You know, 0:07:45.400 --> 0:07:47.880 so at six years old, to understand that my life 0:07:48.000 --> 0:07:50.040 was limited and I only had a little bit of 0:07:50.080 --> 0:07:52.680 time to get shit done, it made me, all of 0:07:52.720 --> 0:07:55.520 a sudden, become much more focused on getting shit done. 0:07:55.880 --> 0:07:58.640 And also that you wanted to fly as well. You know, 0:07:58.680 --> 0:08:00.840 you wanted to get stuff done, you wanted to fly 0:08:01.000 --> 0:08:01.520 like a bird. 0:08:01.720 --> 0:08:05.200 And then you know, that actually came later because because 0:08:05.280 --> 0:08:08.920 what happened unfortunately at that point when my aunt told me, 0:08:08.960 --> 0:08:10.840 you know, that's not possible, at that moment, I was 0:08:10.880 --> 0:08:13.840 already like I can do anything. Nothing, it's stop me, right. 0:08:14.440 --> 0:08:18.200 But what's interesting is as a child, and I don't 0:08:18.240 --> 0:08:20.680 think adults do this on purpose. I don't think it's 0:08:21.360 --> 0:08:24.640 but adults do try to teach children how to live 0:08:24.640 --> 0:08:26.640 in this world and how to exist, and they try 0:08:26.640 --> 0:08:28.360 to teach you how to be realistic and how to 0:08:28.800 --> 0:08:32.440 exist right. And I think in that process they have 0:08:32.480 --> 0:08:37.360 a tendency to crush dreams and kind of kick dreams 0:08:37.400 --> 0:08:40.720 out of you and kind of make you conform and 0:08:40.760 --> 0:08:44.080 fit into a mold that they think you need to 0:08:44.480 --> 0:08:46.719 exist on this planet and succeed in the future. And 0:08:46.720 --> 0:08:48.520 it's not I don't think they're being it's not a 0:08:48.559 --> 0:08:50.800 negative thing. They're not trying to do something bad to you. 0:08:50.960 --> 0:08:54.320 They're actually trying to help you without really realizing that 0:08:54.360 --> 0:08:56.520 what they're actually doing is kind of breaking your. 0:08:56.640 --> 0:08:59.160 Limiting and limiting you as well and limiting you. 0:08:59.280 --> 0:09:01.680 I always say that when parents say, oh, be careful, 0:09:01.880 --> 0:09:03.679 watch out when you do, I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 0:09:04.120 --> 0:09:06.760 Let them find out that ship up, let them graze 0:09:06.760 --> 0:09:08.000 any let them get back up. 0:09:08.160 --> 0:09:11.240 That you have to you have to experience pain, You 0:09:11.320 --> 0:09:15.160 have to struggle, you have to fail. These are important. 0:09:15.440 --> 0:09:17.640 Let me put this way. You're gonna learn a lot 0:09:17.760 --> 0:09:22.120 more from failing at doing something then you will from succeeding. 0:09:22.600 --> 0:09:24.200 You know. So, if your parents are just making you 0:09:24.240 --> 0:09:27.320 succeed all the time, you're not learning anything. You have 0:09:27.400 --> 0:09:29.880 to fail at stuff. You have to fall down, you 0:09:29.920 --> 0:09:32.400 have to break bones. You have to get hurt, you 0:09:32.480 --> 0:09:35.120 have to like, you know, run in that race and lose, 0:09:35.559 --> 0:09:37.920 you know, and this has to happen to you because 0:09:38.080 --> 0:09:40.760 that's what helps you learn something right. And so what 0:09:40.880 --> 0:09:45.040 happened to me is through my like younger years, like 0:09:45.120 --> 0:09:48.680 grade school years and then early teens, I had been 0:09:48.880 --> 0:09:52.640 so heavily broken by just the society in which I 0:09:52.720 --> 0:09:55.360 lived and by the people who I was around. They 0:09:55.480 --> 0:09:57.120 just kind of crushed me into the dirt, to the 0:09:57.120 --> 0:10:01.160 point where I no longer remember any of the dreams 0:10:01.160 --> 0:10:03.880 I had. I no longer had dreams, I no longer 0:10:03.920 --> 0:10:06.520 had desires, I no longer wanted anything. 0:10:06.679 --> 0:10:08.800 And do you remember being in the headspace do you 0:10:08.840 --> 0:10:11.000 remember going from this young sort of I'm. 0:10:10.920 --> 0:10:13.040 Happy to be alive. I want of the two. 0:10:13.480 --> 0:10:16.040 God, this is quite you know, I'm being quite suppressed here, 0:10:16.200 --> 0:10:17.240 I'm being quite limited. 0:10:17.240 --> 0:10:18.160 I can't really do this. 0:10:18.440 --> 0:10:20.840 Yes, I remember it, but I can't relate to that 0:10:20.880 --> 0:10:24.120 person anymore. But what I can say is I remember 0:10:24.200 --> 0:10:28.240 going through an incredibly dark period where I no longer 0:10:28.440 --> 0:10:32.079 wanted anything, I no longer cared about anything, and I 0:10:32.880 --> 0:10:36.319 became incredibly suicidal, like like I didn't. 0:10:36.520 --> 0:10:37.440 Like it was a season. 0:10:37.920 --> 0:10:43.320 Oh, this was between like twelve to to nineteen, Like 0:10:43.720 --> 0:10:46.320 twelve to eighteen was where it got really strong. It 0:10:46.360 --> 0:10:49.280 was at its worst at around sixteen sixteen was like 0:10:49.360 --> 0:10:53.880 its most like acute. And if I hadn't found base 0:10:53.960 --> 0:10:57.440 jumping at that moment in my life, I don't think 0:10:57.480 --> 0:11:00.640 I would have survived. And what happened to me is 0:11:00.679 --> 0:11:05.280 I was in a kind of a darkened state, really 0:11:05.320 --> 0:11:08.400 bad place, and I was sitting on a couch, flicking 0:11:08.480 --> 0:11:14.400 through endless television channels, you know, nothing, not caring about anything, 0:11:15.000 --> 0:11:17.319 and all of a sudden, something came on the television 0:11:18.040 --> 0:11:22.839 that just instantly just caught my attention, and it was 0:11:22.880 --> 0:11:26.560 a man standing on the edge of a cliff, you know, 0:11:27.200 --> 0:11:31.120 just standing there. And I remember going huh, like instantly, 0:11:31.120 --> 0:11:33.560 what's that guy doing? And I was saying, like, looks 0:11:33.600 --> 0:11:36.000 back at the camera, he sticks his tongue out, and 0:11:36.040 --> 0:11:38.400 then he jumps off the cliff into a gainer, and 0:11:38.720 --> 0:11:42.440 all of a sudden, that image from childhood kind of 0:11:42.520 --> 0:11:47.960 flushed back in that dream of like flying all of 0:11:47.960 --> 0:11:50.800 a sudden, like was kind of reignited, and as I 0:11:50.800 --> 0:11:52.480 saw him, like, oh my god, I've been lied to 0:11:52.600 --> 0:11:55.720 my entire life. That's what I was talking about. People 0:11:55.880 --> 0:11:58.720 are doing it like that's that's exactly what I was 0:11:58.760 --> 0:12:03.400 talking about. And this sense of like it felt almost 0:12:03.400 --> 0:12:06.640 like electricity, like I could feel the hair standing on end. 0:12:06.679 --> 0:12:10.200 I became like super like excited, and I'm like, that's it. 0:12:10.559 --> 0:12:12.760 That's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do that for 0:12:12.840 --> 0:12:15.520 the rest of my life until it kills me period. 0:12:15.600 --> 0:12:18.280 I will never stop. I will do whatever it takes. 0:12:18.640 --> 0:12:22.160 That's it. That's what I'm doing. So why I say 0:12:22.160 --> 0:12:25.400 base jumping saved my life is because you know, you 0:12:25.520 --> 0:12:28.520 go through like peaks and valleys with depression, like you 0:12:28.679 --> 0:12:30.040 kind of come out of it and you'll be kind 0:12:30.040 --> 0:12:32.120 of okay, and then you drop back into it and 0:12:32.160 --> 0:12:33.920 you kind of come back out and you drop back 0:12:33.960 --> 0:12:37.840 in and during that period for the next two years 0:12:37.880 --> 0:12:39.559 in mile because you can't just start base jumping. It 0:12:39.559 --> 0:12:41.560 doesn't work like that. You know, as a sixteen year old, 0:12:41.840 --> 0:12:44.920 you know, I would I call every drop zone like 0:12:45.080 --> 0:12:49.720 I want to base jump, and they just like laughed, like, ah. 0:12:49.080 --> 0:12:49.400 I can. 0:12:49.440 --> 0:12:51.120 I quickly take you back to that moment that you 0:12:51.520 --> 0:12:55.720 saw that bass jumper, when you initially saw that person 0:12:55.800 --> 0:12:58.520 standing on the edge of a cliff. Did it get 0:12:58.559 --> 0:13:02.079 your attention because he was stood on the edge of 0:13:02.120 --> 0:13:05.640 a cliff just about to jump, or was it when 0:13:05.640 --> 0:13:09.199 he jumped off the cliff and the parachute opened and 0:13:09.200 --> 0:13:11.160 then he jumped off, and did it sort of take 0:13:11.200 --> 0:13:13.200 you back to that moment where you're like, I want 0:13:13.200 --> 0:13:15.960 to fly, you know, well, actually we'll actually call that. 0:13:16.080 --> 0:13:19.280 I think it's it's layered, and it's actually interesting you 0:13:19.280 --> 0:13:22.280 asked that question, because no one's ever asked that. I 0:13:22.320 --> 0:13:26.600 saw it as a very perfect activity from my mindset 0:13:26.640 --> 0:13:30.000 as a sixteen year old depressed child, right, which was, 0:13:31.360 --> 0:13:33.800 if I did it, then I would do something that 0:13:33.960 --> 0:13:36.080 very few human beings on this planet are willing to 0:13:36.120 --> 0:13:38.559 do because they're so terrified of dying, right, Like I 0:13:38.720 --> 0:13:42.000 wasn't worried about the death part, right, so I felt 0:13:42.040 --> 0:13:44.680 like I could excel and push it to another level. 0:13:45.360 --> 0:13:47.200 The best way I can describe it is imagine me 0:13:47.280 --> 0:13:51.520 trapped in a dark cave, right with no light. You're 0:13:51.559 --> 0:13:55.280 in darkness, there is no possibility of anything. And then 0:13:55.320 --> 0:13:57.600 all of a sudden, what base jumping became was this 0:13:57.800 --> 0:14:01.280 little tiny light off in the distance, right, and I 0:14:01.280 --> 0:14:03.640 could see this light. Now that I was like, well, 0:14:03.840 --> 0:14:06.240 let's go towards the light, like what is that? And 0:14:06.240 --> 0:14:08.760 that was base jumping for me, right and on that 0:14:08.880 --> 0:14:11.520 journey towards that light because it takes time. You can't 0:14:11.520 --> 0:14:14.240 just get there like You're gonna have to go climb 0:14:14.240 --> 0:14:17.120 those little hills and climb those little mountains and claw 0:14:17.200 --> 0:14:19.960 your way towards the light. And what would happen is 0:14:20.000 --> 0:14:22.880 every now and then during that process because it took me. 0:14:23.120 --> 0:14:25.160 I didn't get to do my first skuydive until I 0:14:25.160 --> 0:14:26.960 was eighteen. I didn't get to do my first base 0:14:27.000 --> 0:14:29.200 jump un till I was twenty one. So we're talking about, 0:14:29.240 --> 0:14:33.040 you know, five years of time for me to even 0:14:33.080 --> 0:14:35.000 get to the place where I could do a base jump. 0:14:35.240 --> 0:14:37.160 But was that focus for you? Was that a drive? 0:14:37.360 --> 0:14:40.040 Was that something that kept you ultimately kept you alive? 0:14:40.400 --> 0:14:42.880 It's more than that, because let's just say, you know, 0:14:43.040 --> 0:14:45.800 in sixteen, that's when I was at my darkest period, 0:14:46.120 --> 0:14:48.840 but it was still pretty dark through seventeen through eighteen. 0:14:48.920 --> 0:14:51.240 It wasn't like I was a big, happy, smiley person 0:14:51.360 --> 0:14:54.120 just because I found purpose. You know, It's more than that. 0:14:54.480 --> 0:14:56.680 So what would happen is I would get into these 0:14:56.760 --> 0:15:00.400 really dark places, and what stopped me from doing it 0:15:00.520 --> 0:15:02.280 was all of a sudden, I'd be like on the 0:15:02.400 --> 0:15:06.360 edge and I'd like, no, don't waste it. Like, if 0:15:06.360 --> 0:15:09.720 you're gonna kill yourself anyway, do something with your death, 0:15:09.760 --> 0:15:13.280 you know, you go base jumping, like get that goal. 0:15:13.480 --> 0:15:17.080 And that's what made me hang on during those really 0:15:17.560 --> 0:15:20.320 dark periods where things just felt like they were crushing 0:15:20.360 --> 0:15:22.480 me and I just felt like what's the point and 0:15:22.520 --> 0:15:26.520 like life just seems so utterly pointless. And then in 0:15:26.560 --> 0:15:30.000 the process of training right because you like I said, 0:15:30.080 --> 0:15:32.320 it takes time. You have to do you know, one 0:15:32.400 --> 0:15:34.720 hundred and fifty to two hundred skydivees before you can 0:15:34.760 --> 0:15:38.280 even begin base jumping, right and to get there, you know, 0:15:38.320 --> 0:15:39.920 And at the time, I didn't have a lot of money. 0:15:40.120 --> 0:15:43.520 I worked at a movie theater as a projectionist, you know, 0:15:43.680 --> 0:15:45.960 making you know, minimum wage, which was like three twenty 0:15:45.960 --> 0:15:48.560 five at an hour at the time. You know, yeah, 0:15:48.560 --> 0:15:51.040 it's nothing. So you know, I would save up money, 0:15:51.080 --> 0:15:53.400 go do a skydive. Save up money, go to a skydive. 0:15:53.480 --> 0:15:55.600 So it took me almost let's see, it was from 0:15:55.680 --> 0:16:00.240 eighteen to twenty one to basically get my license, which 0:16:00.240 --> 0:16:01.720 you know, most people can do that in a couple 0:16:01.760 --> 0:16:03.520 of weekends, but I didn't have the money, so I 0:16:03.560 --> 0:16:06.040 had like literally save up jump, save up jump. So 0:16:06.040 --> 0:16:08.720 it took a long time, which was good. It was 0:16:08.720 --> 0:16:11.480 actually good for me because by the time I got 0:16:11.520 --> 0:16:14.880 to base jumping, I didn't want to die anymore. All 0:16:14.880 --> 0:16:16.720 of a sudden, by the time, you know, at twenty one, 0:16:16.840 --> 0:16:19.440 I wasn't suicidal anymore. I'd become super happy. I'd met 0:16:19.440 --> 0:16:21.560 a bunch of people who I enjoyed their company. I 0:16:21.600 --> 0:16:24.480 found people who are like minded. I started making friends, 0:16:24.600 --> 0:16:28.040 and it started in the community, well community, and more 0:16:28.080 --> 0:16:31.080 than that, I just I get the purpose. Like I mean, 0:16:31.080 --> 0:16:32.760 I think that's what most people like. They're like, oh, 0:16:33.120 --> 0:16:36.400 you know, whatever is John Lennon, Like, you know, meaning 0:16:36.440 --> 0:16:39.080 of life is being happy? You know, No, not really, 0:16:39.520 --> 0:16:41.680 the meaning of life is purpose. You have to have 0:16:41.760 --> 0:16:44.160 a reason to be here, a reason to eat eat, 0:16:44.200 --> 0:16:47.160 eat food, drink water, breathe oxygen, a reason to exist. 0:16:47.200 --> 0:16:49.040 There has to be a reason. You need some kind 0:16:49.040 --> 0:16:52.720 of purpose. You need meaning, right and then once you 0:16:52.760 --> 0:16:55.240 have meaning and you have purpose, then that gives you 0:16:55.280 --> 0:16:57.640 the drive to go out there and do that purpose, 0:16:57.800 --> 0:17:01.240 do what that is and in the process of striving, 0:17:01.600 --> 0:17:04.440 especially if it's a difficult thing, if it's a scary thing, 0:17:04.480 --> 0:17:06.680 if it's something that can like break you and kill 0:17:06.720 --> 0:17:09.680 you and do horrible, awful things to you. For some reason, 0:17:09.920 --> 0:17:15.920 that struggle is what brings happiness. By succeeding and overcoming 0:17:15.960 --> 0:17:20.040 those obstacles and doing things really difficult and literally facing 0:17:20.119 --> 0:17:21.800 stuff that you don't know if you can do it. 0:17:22.000 --> 0:17:24.040 You're like, I don't know if I have what it 0:17:24.080 --> 0:17:26.600 takes to make this happen, right, And then you do it, 0:17:26.640 --> 0:17:29.880 and you're like, and that sense of accomplishment, that sense 0:17:29.920 --> 0:17:33.359 of doing something really difficult and really painful and something 0:17:33.400 --> 0:17:36.960 that was really hard, right, and you struggled to get there. 0:17:37.680 --> 0:17:43.680 That accomplishment then brings happiness. Happiness is like a byproduct, 0:17:44.119 --> 0:17:48.080 like a really nice byproduct of accomplishing a difficult task. 0:17:48.520 --> 0:17:50.760 That's really what it comes from. People don't understand. You 0:17:50.800 --> 0:17:54.200 can't be at peak happiness one hundred percent of the time, 0:17:54.440 --> 0:17:57.040 otherwise it's not peak happiness anymore. It just becomes normal. 0:17:57.480 --> 0:17:59.119 So then you get to base jumping and you start 0:17:59.119 --> 0:18:03.720 doing what it is and you start, you know, experiencing horrific, 0:18:03.880 --> 0:18:08.439 horrendous shit like things that. I mean, dude, by this 0:18:08.440 --> 0:18:11.200 way is as dangerous as you think. Base jumping is 0:18:11.280 --> 0:18:15.320 as dangerous as people assume they have no clue. It 0:18:15.400 --> 0:18:19.240 is lethal and scary on a level that is impossible 0:18:19.280 --> 0:18:21.920 to comprehend, and like it. I've done a lot of 0:18:21.960 --> 0:18:24.959 dangerous stuff in my life. I ride motorcycles, I climb, 0:18:25.240 --> 0:18:28.000 surf big waves, dive with sharks, you know, I do 0:18:28.160 --> 0:18:31.640 all this stuff. I skydiving. And what you learn when 0:18:31.680 --> 0:18:35.000 you start doing these more dangerous activities is there actually 0:18:35.000 --> 0:18:36.639 not that bad. You know, with the right training and 0:18:36.680 --> 0:18:39.040 the right preparation, you can actually do them in a 0:18:39.080 --> 0:18:41.680 relatively safe way, right where they're no longer this like 0:18:41.800 --> 0:18:43.680 horror show where you're like scared all the time, where 0:18:43.680 --> 0:18:47.320 it actually becomes enjoyable and fun. Base jumping is the 0:18:47.359 --> 0:18:50.719 first thing that I got into that is not only 0:18:50.880 --> 0:18:54.040 every bit as scary and dangerous as I thought it was, 0:18:54.400 --> 0:18:56.600 but after a decade of doing it, you're like, oh 0:18:56.680 --> 0:18:59.000 my god, I had no idea like this. 0:19:00.600 --> 0:19:03.760 Sometimes the best route, mate, Sometimes the naive is the 0:19:03.800 --> 0:19:04.280 best route. 0:19:04.359 --> 0:19:09.000 Oh yeah, It's it's so bad that I cannot even 0:19:09.080 --> 0:19:12.919 describe it to you. It's it's impossible, Like I have 0:19:13.119 --> 0:19:17.720 seen things that I could never have imagined. I've experienced things, 0:19:17.760 --> 0:19:22.159 I've I've felt pain on levels that are I didn't 0:19:22.200 --> 0:19:30.200 think were possible. It is an absolutely terrifying sport. 0:19:35.400 --> 0:19:38.160 Take me back to that very first and not base jump. 0:19:38.240 --> 0:19:41.560 That very first time you were in the air, looking 0:19:41.560 --> 0:19:44.520 out the door and thinking, well, this is this is it? 0:19:44.680 --> 0:19:45.679 How did you manage that? 0:19:45.760 --> 0:19:46.040 Fear? 0:19:46.480 --> 0:19:50.040 Fear is a process, okay, and anyone who lifts weights 0:19:50.080 --> 0:19:53.440 or works out in a gym, it's a very similar process. Right. 0:19:53.480 --> 0:19:56.479 So let's say your goal, right, my goal was base jumping, right, 0:19:56.480 --> 0:19:59.480 that's what I wanted to do. You can't just do that. 0:20:00.040 --> 0:20:02.080 If you do, the fear will overwhelm you and you 0:20:02.119 --> 0:20:03.600 will die. It's kind of like being in a gym 0:20:03.600 --> 0:20:06.200 AND's like my goal is to bench press three hundred pounds. Yeah, 0:20:06.240 --> 0:20:09.680 go okay, Yeah, you'll literally just crush yourself and you'll die. 0:20:09.840 --> 0:20:11.679 I mean literally, the first day you can't even get 0:20:11.720 --> 0:20:12.920 the weight off the rat grey. 0:20:12.800 --> 0:20:14.000 Time is out back. 0:20:14.359 --> 0:20:17.360 The stude's gonna crush himself, right, because you have to prepare, 0:20:17.960 --> 0:20:20.960 and fear is the same thing. Right, You'll start with 0:20:21.119 --> 0:20:23.640 the bar forty five pounds, right, then you'll put ten 0:20:23.680 --> 0:20:26.800 pounders on and then you'll slowly, over time start adding weight, 0:20:26.880 --> 0:20:29.199 adding weight, adding weight, and you'll just keep pushing and 0:20:29.240 --> 0:20:32.600 pushing until eventually, over enough time, with enough reps, with 0:20:32.800 --> 0:20:36.360 enough experience, you'll be able to push that three hundred pounds. 0:20:36.760 --> 0:20:39.760 Fear is the same way fear. You don't just start, 0:20:40.119 --> 0:20:42.840 you know, by jumping off the Eiffel Tower and doing 0:20:42.880 --> 0:20:45.240 a double reverse flip. Right, that's not how it starts. 0:20:45.440 --> 0:20:48.320 It starts with a tandem skydive. Right. You go do 0:20:48.359 --> 0:20:51.000 a tam so you're hooked to an instructor. You get 0:20:51.400 --> 0:20:53.719 he's in charge of everything. All you have to do 0:20:53.760 --> 0:20:55.440 is go for the ride. You get to have the 0:20:55.520 --> 0:20:57.520 experience of what it's like to be in the plane, 0:20:57.920 --> 0:21:00.359 look out the door, step out of an air craft 0:21:00.359 --> 0:21:03.160 of twelve thousand feet, be in free fall. You know, 0:21:03.320 --> 0:21:04.840 then you're not You don't have to worry about controlling 0:21:04.840 --> 0:21:08.479 the parachute. So that gives you your first sense of fear, 0:21:08.560 --> 0:21:11.840 of like, oh, this is what this is? Okay, I suppose. 0:21:11.440 --> 0:21:16.919 It's like exposure taking the layers off. Yeah, exposure, exposure, repetition, repetition, right. 0:21:16.920 --> 0:21:19.600 Well, you know it's funny because you hear the term 0:21:19.720 --> 0:21:22.480 desensitization like it's a negative thing, right, you'll hear that 0:21:22.520 --> 0:21:24.960 all the time, like desinsinization. In America they use it 0:21:24.960 --> 0:21:29.000 as this like negative term. But in all honesty, that 0:21:29.200 --> 0:21:32.800 is the process of overcoming fear. You have to desensitize. 0:21:32.800 --> 0:21:36.120 That's it's an absolute necessity if you're if you're gonna 0:21:36.119 --> 0:21:38.280 fight in a ring, or you're gonna do anything, you 0:21:38.359 --> 0:21:41.199 have to learn how to cope with that fear. And 0:21:41.240 --> 0:21:44.200 that comes from desensitizing yourself to it. It actually makes 0:21:44.200 --> 0:21:46.600 you stronger. And and that's what fear is. Fear is 0:21:46.640 --> 0:21:49.240 you expose yourself to small fear in the beginning that 0:21:49.400 --> 0:21:52.520 isn't actually dangerous, right, It's just things that scare you 0:21:52.840 --> 0:21:56.119 but won't actually hurt you. That's the first fear you 0:21:56.200 --> 0:21:59.280 deal with, the fears that won't actually inflict physical harm 0:21:59.400 --> 0:22:01.560 to you, but just give you that sensation of fear. 0:22:01.880 --> 0:22:03.720 Take me back to your first base jump jemp. 0:22:03.840 --> 0:22:05.399 You know that's not a good one to take you 0:22:05.440 --> 0:22:07.159 back to you because my first one didn't scare me 0:22:07.200 --> 0:22:12.120 that much. See, the base jumps are funny because there 0:22:12.160 --> 0:22:13.760 are base jumps Like now I can do base jumps 0:22:13.800 --> 0:22:15.200 that I don't even get my heart rate doesn't even 0:22:15.200 --> 0:22:16.600 go up like I can do base jumps. R. I 0:22:16.640 --> 0:22:18.159 just step off and it's just and and I do 0:22:18.200 --> 0:22:20.199 a gainer and it's just like, I don't even my 0:22:20.320 --> 0:22:21.560 heart rate doesn't even change. 0:22:21.640 --> 0:22:21.760 Right. 0:22:21.800 --> 0:22:24.200 So there are bass jumps that are totally chill, totally mellow. 0:22:24.720 --> 0:22:28.880 Then there are bass jumps that are so goddamn horrifying 0:22:29.200 --> 0:22:31.639 that literally my entire body is shaking. I'm on the 0:22:31.720 --> 0:22:35.520 verge of throwing up. I'm literally about to literally collapse 0:22:35.600 --> 0:22:38.080 under my own skin. I've been on base jumps where 0:22:38.119 --> 0:22:38.960 I've started crying. 0:22:39.080 --> 0:22:40.399 Take me back to an example of that. 0:22:40.440 --> 0:22:42.440 When was the first time that you felt that when 0:22:42.840 --> 0:22:45.439 because you said your first one was comfortable, when's the 0:22:45.480 --> 0:22:50.280 first When was your first one where you were like whoa, whoa. 0:22:50.640 --> 0:22:55.080 There was a little three hundred foot in Tena that 0:22:55.160 --> 0:22:57.480 was about forty five minutes from my house in Malibu, 0:22:58.000 --> 0:23:02.480 and the the the antenna was on a little hill 0:23:02.520 --> 0:23:05.200 in came Rio, right off the one oh one freeway, 0:23:05.760 --> 0:23:07.800 and I used to drive by it. And it was 0:23:08.000 --> 0:23:10.399 very early in my base jumping, like I had just started. 0:23:10.440 --> 0:23:12.160 I had like, I think five base jumps. I think 0:23:12.400 --> 0:23:14.520 this was gonna be my sixth jump. All my other 0:23:14.520 --> 0:23:18.080 base jumps were off this really high bridge. I considered 0:23:18.119 --> 0:23:20.680 it to be safe. I felt comfortable there. It didn't 0:23:20.720 --> 0:23:23.320 it for some reason. Yes, it was scary, but it 0:23:23.400 --> 0:23:25.800 wasn't like life altering or life changing. And actually it 0:23:25.800 --> 0:23:27.199 almost let me down a little bit, like I was. 0:23:27.320 --> 0:23:28.639 I was like, man, I was expecting this to be 0:23:28.680 --> 0:23:31.359 a little bit more like. It just didn't seem I'm like, 0:23:31.400 --> 0:23:33.040 I thought this was gonna be a lot like more 0:23:33.200 --> 0:23:35.800 like life altering is what I thought. But it wasn't. 0:23:35.840 --> 0:23:37.600 It was kind of scary, but it wasn't like you know, 0:23:38.600 --> 0:23:42.919 this one. So I find this little antenna, like always 0:23:42.960 --> 0:23:44.520 kind of looking at it, and I'm like, I wonder 0:23:44.520 --> 0:23:46.040 if that's tall enough. But I always thought it was 0:23:46.040 --> 0:23:48.000 like seventy five feet tall. Looked like this tiny little 0:23:48.040 --> 0:23:49.680 thing on this hill. I'm like, that's not high enough. 0:23:49.720 --> 0:23:50.000 Whatever. 0:23:50.800 --> 0:23:53.520 Anyways, I had a buddy who's a pilot who had 0:23:53.560 --> 0:23:56.520 an aeronautical chart, And the aeronautical chart tells you how 0:23:56.600 --> 0:23:59.280 tall every building is, how tall every antenna is. It 0:23:59.320 --> 0:24:02.520 tells you all obstacles that you could potentially hit with aircraft. 0:24:02.880 --> 0:24:05.959 So he had an aeronautical chart of the camera rio area, 0:24:06.160 --> 0:24:08.280 and I'm like, hey, I wonder how high that antenna is. 0:24:08.560 --> 0:24:11.320 So I got his aeronautical chart. I found the antenna 0:24:11.480 --> 0:24:13.639 and it said three hundred feet and I was like, 0:24:13.720 --> 0:24:17.520 holy shit, that's like you can base jump that. That's 0:24:17.560 --> 0:24:20.240 high enough, like just high enough, but it's high enough. 0:24:20.280 --> 0:24:22.600 Like I'm like, I'm gonna go base jump that, you. 0:24:22.600 --> 0:24:27.119 Know, just high enough. Yeah, Well it wasn't high enough. 0:24:27.320 --> 0:24:30.640 But this is the thing, I know more now than 0:24:30.680 --> 0:24:32.639 I did then, Right, So you have to understand a 0:24:32.640 --> 0:24:34.359 lot of this has to do with timing, and it 0:24:34.400 --> 0:24:36.480 has to do with with education, It has to do 0:24:36.520 --> 0:24:39.960 with preparation, it has to do with training. So what 0:24:40.119 --> 0:24:43.040 happened is at the time I had gone through a 0:24:43.040 --> 0:24:46.560 little course from a group called Basic Research, which were 0:24:46.760 --> 0:24:51.080 the first group who was training base jumpers. And my instructors, 0:24:51.119 --> 0:24:53.240 I had two of them. One was Todd Shoeboth and 0:24:53.359 --> 0:24:57.040 Anne Helliwell, and I called up Annie and I said, hey, 0:24:57.240 --> 0:24:59.040 you know, I found this antenna and I had gone 0:24:59.040 --> 0:25:00.760 there and I'd scouted it out and I'd figured out 0:25:00.800 --> 0:25:02.680 exactly how high I could jump from. I couldn't jump 0:25:02.720 --> 0:25:04.480 from the top because there was antenna stuff. So I 0:25:04.520 --> 0:25:06.000 had to jump from under the antenna stuff, so it 0:25:06.040 --> 0:25:08.119 was like two hundred and sixty feet, so you know, 0:25:08.320 --> 0:25:10.639 I needed some information. I was told never to like 0:25:10.720 --> 0:25:12.879 free fall under three hundred feet, that I needed to 0:25:12.920 --> 0:25:15.160 use a static line. Blah blah blah. It's all complicated. Shit. 0:25:15.160 --> 0:25:16.440 I don't want to get too into that because it's 0:25:16.720 --> 0:25:19.679 too complicated. But I called her to ask her a 0:25:19.760 --> 0:25:22.639 very simple, like technical question, and the question was, Hey, 0:25:22.680 --> 0:25:24.359 if I use a forty eight inch pilot shoot and 0:25:24.400 --> 0:25:26.040 I do a go and throw, how long will it 0:25:26.040 --> 0:25:29.040 take my parachute open? And she's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, 0:25:29.080 --> 0:25:31.240 what are you trying to jump off of? And I'm like, oh, 0:25:31.240 --> 0:25:33.479 it's a three hundred foot antenna And I was explained. 0:25:33.520 --> 0:25:36.240 She's like whoa wait, okay and antenna shaul. Does it 0:25:36.280 --> 0:25:38.840 have guy wires or is it free standing? And I'm like, 0:25:38.920 --> 0:25:40.680 it has guy wires. She's like, okay, don't jump that. 0:25:41.040 --> 0:25:43.800 It's like straight up, I'm telling you right now, if 0:25:43.800 --> 0:25:46.439 you jump an antenna that low that has guy wires 0:25:46.720 --> 0:25:49.000 and you get a ninety left or right, you're going 0:25:49.040 --> 0:25:51.359 to die. Like that's it. It's going to kill you. 0:25:51.680 --> 0:25:54.800 Do not jump that antenna. It's a bad jump. Just 0:25:54.880 --> 0:25:57.040 don't even go anywhere near it. And I'm like, Okay, 0:25:57.080 --> 0:25:59.399 that's really great information. That's not what I asked you. 0:25:59.520 --> 0:26:02.320 The question is if I do a going through with 0:26:02.320 --> 0:26:04.240 a forty eight inch pilot, shoot, how long will it 0:26:04.280 --> 0:26:06.720 take my parachute open? And she's like, Jeb, shall do 0:26:06.880 --> 0:26:10.159 not jump that. She'll you are not ready for something 0:26:10.240 --> 0:26:12.040 like that. And she's like, and when you do get 0:26:12.080 --> 0:26:14.240 ready for something like that, you won't jump it because 0:26:14.240 --> 0:26:16.600 you'll know better. She's like, so don't go jump that. 0:26:16.880 --> 0:26:19.440 And I'm like, how long will it take my parachute open? 0:26:20.359 --> 0:26:22.120 She's like, Jeb, probably about one hundred and fifty feet. 0:26:22.119 --> 0:26:24.560 I'm like, perfect click, and I'm like, that's it. One 0:26:24.640 --> 0:26:26.720 hundred and fifty feet. I'm jumping for two hundred and sixty. 0:26:26.720 --> 0:26:29.160 That gives me around what ninety feet to land. I'm good, 0:26:29.160 --> 0:26:31.520 I'm gonna do this, right. I end up going out there. 0:26:31.720 --> 0:26:36.280 So it's it's complicated. It's such a complicated story. But 0:26:36.640 --> 0:26:39.400 at the time, I was living in my parents' guest house, right, 0:26:39.680 --> 0:26:42.119 So that's you know, that's kind of how I was 0:26:42.160 --> 0:26:44.680 able to like survive. I would work, make my money 0:26:44.760 --> 0:26:46.159 go do that, and I didn't have rent because I 0:26:46.160 --> 0:26:49.199 was leaving my parents' guest house. I was leaving to 0:26:49.240 --> 0:26:50.959 go do this jump, and my mom saw me with 0:26:51.000 --> 0:26:52.800 my rig. She knew I only had five base trimps. 0:26:52.840 --> 0:26:54.840 I was obviously just knew, and she's like, what is 0:26:54.880 --> 0:26:57.120 there to jump around here? So she sees me getting 0:26:57.160 --> 0:26:58.720 in my car with my rig and she's like hey, 0:26:58.760 --> 0:27:00.800 she runs out. She liked, what are you doing. I'm like, oh, 0:27:00.800 --> 0:27:02.639 I found this three hundred foot antenna. I'm gonna go 0:27:02.640 --> 0:27:05.560 base jump in She's like, whoa, whoa, exaid, what are 0:27:05.600 --> 0:27:09.080 you talking about? She had listened to me long enough, 0:27:09.280 --> 0:27:11.040 like you know, you're talking to your parents, You're like 0:27:11.080 --> 0:27:13.680 telling them and explaining things to them. So she understood 0:27:13.800 --> 0:27:16.960 just enough to know that that was a really bad 0:27:16.960 --> 0:27:19.480 idea at my skill level. Right that I was not 0:27:19.920 --> 0:27:22.480 that she knew the lower things were the more dangerous. 0:27:22.520 --> 0:27:25.240 It was that that's three hundred feet. That's really low. 0:27:25.800 --> 0:27:27.480 And she's like, no, jeb, I don't I don't think 0:27:27.520 --> 0:27:29.800 that's a good idea. And I'm like, yeah, well I'm 0:27:29.800 --> 0:27:32.600 doing it. And she's like, Okay, I've never told you 0:27:32.640 --> 0:27:34.640 not to do anything in your life. You know, I've 0:27:34.680 --> 0:27:38.000 always supported you in everything. So I'm telling you right now, 0:27:38.200 --> 0:27:40.520 if you do this, you need to find a new 0:27:40.560 --> 0:27:45.000 place to live. That's how serious this is. And I'm like, okay, 0:27:45.320 --> 0:27:46.560 you do what you need to do. I'm gonna do 0:27:46.560 --> 0:27:47.560 what I need to do. And I just got in 0:27:47.640 --> 0:27:49.679 my car and left. I'm like, if I have to 0:27:49.680 --> 0:27:51.720 move out, I'll move out. I don't care. Nothing's gonna 0:27:51.720 --> 0:27:54.080 stop me from doing this, right. I called when I 0:27:54.320 --> 0:27:57.479 called my best buddy at the time, and I said, Hey, 0:27:57.520 --> 0:27:59.400 I'm gonna go jump this three hundred foot antenna. I'd 0:27:59.440 --> 0:28:01.399 like you to come and do ground crew for me 0:28:01.480 --> 0:28:03.320 in case I break a leg or get hurt, so 0:28:03.359 --> 0:28:05.359 I have someone to call the you know, call help, 0:28:05.680 --> 0:28:08.840 right And he responded with I'm not gonna come watch 0:28:08.840 --> 0:28:11.520 you kill yourself, Jeb Zaul. If you're doing this, you're 0:28:11.560 --> 0:28:14.040 doing this on your own. You're gonna do this by yourself. 0:28:14.200 --> 0:28:16.359 I Am not gonna come there. And I'm like, okay, 0:28:16.640 --> 0:28:19.119 that's fine. Then I do it alone, you know, And 0:28:19.160 --> 0:28:21.199 I'm like, there's nothing that's gonna stop me from doing this. 0:28:21.320 --> 0:28:21.600 That's it. 0:28:21.680 --> 0:28:24.280 I'm going, Well, something is in you ahead, Jeb, is 0:28:24.119 --> 0:28:27.760 it is it very very hard to extract it is 0:28:27.640 --> 0:28:27.879 it is? 0:28:28.200 --> 0:28:30.080 Do you have to do it to get it done? 0:28:30.119 --> 0:28:30.800 To take it off? 0:28:31.880 --> 0:28:34.920 The answer to that is no. But what I will 0:28:34.920 --> 0:28:38.320 say is, at this particular moment, in this particular jump, 0:28:38.800 --> 0:28:41.480 this was something I had to do because at this 0:28:41.520 --> 0:28:43.760 point I didn't feel like a base jumper yet the 0:28:43.840 --> 0:28:46.000 jump that I had done didn't really do anything for me. 0:28:46.480 --> 0:28:50.880 I needed to see, you know what, can I do this? 0:28:51.000 --> 0:28:55.040 Am I capable of pushing through genuine horror? 0:28:55.400 --> 0:28:55.480 Like? 0:28:55.520 --> 0:28:58.160 Can I do this? Is? I knew what the dangers were. 0:28:58.200 --> 0:29:00.560 I I got what everyone was saying. It wasn't like 0:29:00.600 --> 0:29:03.400 I was being delusional. I understood I needed to do this. 0:29:03.720 --> 0:29:07.120 So I get there. It's like I would have to 0:29:07.120 --> 0:29:09.600 wait till dark because it's obviously the one oh one, 0:29:09.720 --> 0:29:11.400 so you don't want to be seen climbing it, so 0:29:11.400 --> 0:29:13.120 it has to be pitch black. It was a new moon, 0:29:13.440 --> 0:29:16.920 so it was a pitch goddamn black. I get to 0:29:16.960 --> 0:29:19.480 the hill like around eleven o'clock at night, and what 0:29:19.520 --> 0:29:22.040 was interesting is I had scouted it the week before, 0:29:22.720 --> 0:29:25.880 but the week before it was really cold. Tonight was 0:29:25.880 --> 0:29:28.000 actually a nice, warm night, like it was spring, like 0:29:28.240 --> 0:29:32.080 the temperature was just starting to change, and I start 0:29:32.120 --> 0:29:34.040 walking up the hill and it's pitch black. I can't 0:29:34.040 --> 0:29:36.000 turn lights on because I don't want people seeing me 0:29:36.040 --> 0:29:38.360 going up the hill. And all of a sudden, I 0:29:38.440 --> 0:29:42.760 just hear this sound of it's a fucking rattlesnake, and 0:29:42.800 --> 0:29:45.600 it's like right next to me, dude, and I'm like, 0:29:45.640 --> 0:29:46.600 oh shit. 0:29:46.440 --> 0:29:47.640 I cat signs of them. 0:29:48.080 --> 0:29:50.040 I'm like, ah fuck. And I was when I was 0:29:50.080 --> 0:29:52.120 a little kid. I used to catch rattle snakes for fun, 0:29:52.280 --> 0:29:55.200 so I knew how dangerous they are. And you definitely 0:29:55.280 --> 0:29:57.480 don't want to be around rattlesnakes in the dark when 0:29:57.480 --> 0:29:59.400 you can't see them. And I'm like, oh shit. So 0:29:59.480 --> 0:30:02.120 I kind of like grope around looking for a stick, 0:30:02.440 --> 0:30:04.520 and I find like a stick and I kind of 0:30:04.520 --> 0:30:06.479 push it out in front of myself as I'm walking. 0:30:06.680 --> 0:30:10.160 And as I'm walking, dude, it's like just a chain reaction. 0:30:10.640 --> 0:30:16.760 There are hundreds of rattlesnakes. They are fucking everywhere. And 0:30:16.800 --> 0:30:20.240 this hillside has one road and around the road is 0:30:20.280 --> 0:30:23.240 filled with cactus, so it's all cactus. So when I 0:30:23.320 --> 0:30:25.400 jump this thing, I have to land on this road 0:30:25.640 --> 0:30:29.600 in the dark, covered in fucking rattlesnakes, and around it 0:30:29.680 --> 0:30:34.640 are cactus everywhere. So I'm just like, this is insane, 0:30:35.040 --> 0:30:37.719 Like what am I doing? That's actually not what I 0:30:37.760 --> 0:30:40.360 was saying. Well, it's funny as I was tricking myself 0:30:40.360 --> 0:30:42.160 into doing it. So what I was saying is I'm 0:30:42.200 --> 0:30:44.760 not doing this. So I'm walking up. I'm like, I'm 0:30:44.760 --> 0:30:46.800 just gonna walk up there and I'm just gonna go 0:30:46.840 --> 0:30:48.640 take a look. That's all I was doing, right, So 0:30:48.680 --> 0:30:51.920 I'm walking, walking, walking, and I'm like pushing rattlesnakes out 0:30:52.000 --> 0:30:53.920 of way, and I'm like they just keep going off. 0:30:54.160 --> 0:30:56.360 I get to the fence, which is a razor wire fence. 0:30:56.640 --> 0:30:58.760 I take a jacket, throw it over the razor wire, 0:30:59.200 --> 0:31:02.680 climb over the road wire, get into the antenna. The 0:31:02.720 --> 0:31:05.640 antenna is so tiny, it's three hundred feet so it 0:31:05.680 --> 0:31:07.880 has one light in the middle and one light on top, 0:31:07.920 --> 0:31:11.200 and the actual ladder's on the outside. So I'm climbing 0:31:11.360 --> 0:31:13.680 on the outside of an antenna doing this with no protection. 0:31:14.040 --> 0:31:16.400 You fall, you die, you know, And I'm just climbing 0:31:16.440 --> 0:31:20.440 this ladder and as I'm climbing, I'm just like, I 0:31:20.480 --> 0:31:24.720 am not going to do this, Like this is not happening, 0:31:24.800 --> 0:31:26.920 like I Am not doing this. As I keep moving 0:31:27.280 --> 0:31:31.520 and as I'm going further, my heart is literally beating 0:31:31.520 --> 0:31:34.000 in my chest in a way that it's impossible to 0:31:34.080 --> 0:31:36.400 describe it because it actually feels like it's moving up 0:31:36.440 --> 0:31:39.800 and into my throat, like it's actually trying to Yeah, 0:31:40.080 --> 0:31:41.960 it's like my heart's trying to escape out my mouth 0:31:42.000 --> 0:31:43.760 like it wants it doesn't want anything to do with this. 0:31:43.880 --> 0:31:45.360 It wants to get away from me. It's like, what 0:31:45.480 --> 0:31:49.120 are you doing? And the horror in fear gets more 0:31:49.120 --> 0:31:50.840 and more intense because i know I'm gonna do it, 0:31:51.200 --> 0:31:53.239 even though I'm telling myself, no, I'm not gonna do this. 0:31:53.400 --> 0:31:55.680 I'm gonna wait, I'm not gonna do this. I get 0:31:55.720 --> 0:31:59.320 to the two hundred and sixty foot mark. The antenna's 0:31:59.320 --> 0:32:01.680 shaped like a like an a, and I get inside 0:32:01.760 --> 0:32:03.800 the antenna and I'm sitting on one bar with my 0:32:03.840 --> 0:32:05.360 feet on the other two and I'm looking down. I 0:32:05.400 --> 0:32:07.360 can see through the antenna all the way to the ground, 0:32:08.000 --> 0:32:11.480 but it's really dark, it's like super pitch black, and 0:32:11.560 --> 0:32:13.320 I'm sitting there. I'm kind of like looking out and 0:32:13.360 --> 0:32:17.640 it's totally calm, not a breath of air, literally zero wind, 0:32:18.120 --> 0:32:19.960 and I'm looking down the freeway and I just see 0:32:20.000 --> 0:32:22.440 cars just snaking off in both directions, and it was 0:32:22.800 --> 0:32:27.200 so surrealistic, Like it's so surreal it's hard to even 0:32:27.520 --> 0:32:30.520 your mind goes into the super strange place because I'm 0:32:30.520 --> 0:32:32.920 sitting inside an antenna three like to well, two hundred 0:32:32.920 --> 0:32:36.800 and sixty feet off the ground, just watching cars pitch black. 0:32:37.040 --> 0:32:38.920 I can't see the road I'm supposed to land on. 0:32:39.080 --> 0:32:41.480 I can't see shit. And I'm just like and I 0:32:41.480 --> 0:32:43.840 start telling myself, like, you know, I'm not ready for this. 0:32:44.360 --> 0:32:47.280 You know, maybe after I do, you know, I go Norway, 0:32:47.320 --> 0:32:50.080 I do some big jumps, maybe I'll get ready for 0:32:50.120 --> 0:32:52.240 this and I'll come back. I'm not doing this. As 0:32:52.240 --> 0:32:54.320 I'm telling myself that I get my pilot shoot out, 0:32:54.440 --> 0:32:56.280 and I'm like starting to get my pilot shoot ready, 0:32:56.640 --> 0:32:58.239 and I'm like, there's no way I'm doing this. As 0:32:58.280 --> 0:33:01.040 I slide out the antenna and I'm like hanging out 0:33:01.080 --> 0:33:03.320 and I'm like looking down and right then I'm like, 0:33:04.560 --> 0:33:10.480 I am not going to do this. As I push off, 0:33:10.760 --> 0:33:13.640 and I remember pushing off And this has only happened 0:33:13.640 --> 0:33:16.840 to me a couple times in my life, and usually 0:33:16.880 --> 0:33:19.840 it's during accidents. This is the only time I've ever 0:33:19.880 --> 0:33:23.000 had this happen when it wasn't an accident. And what 0:33:23.160 --> 0:33:26.120 happened is I push off and I throw the pilot 0:33:26.240 --> 0:33:31.360 choote and then everything freezes. Time just stops, like everything's 0:33:31.400 --> 0:33:34.960 just and it's literally time all of a sudden just 0:33:35.080 --> 0:33:39.480 distorts and starts stretching, and all of a sudden, seconds 0:33:39.480 --> 0:33:42.400 are stretched into what feel like minutes, Like it's the 0:33:42.400 --> 0:33:49.040 most bizarre experience when all of a sudden, time just goes. 0:33:48.960 --> 0:33:51.360 God, and it's in that moment, isn't it, in that 0:33:51.480 --> 0:33:55.400 pacific moment. It's not moments, it's not moments. 0:33:55.040 --> 0:33:57.200 It's that moment. And what I'm doing is I'm just 0:33:57.360 --> 0:34:01.000 frozen and I'm looking down, and all of a sudden, 0:34:01.000 --> 0:34:04.000 I can feel the hair standing up on the back 0:34:04.040 --> 0:34:08.000 of my neck. I can feel the air literally touching 0:34:08.040 --> 0:34:10.959 my skin. I can all of a sudden look down 0:34:11.000 --> 0:34:13.440 and I can see like I was pitch black, I 0:34:13.440 --> 0:34:15.680 couldn't see shit. And now all of a sudden, I 0:34:15.719 --> 0:34:18.400 see the razor wire fence, I can see the road, 0:34:19.000 --> 0:34:21.279 I can see the cactuses. All of a sudden, I'm 0:34:21.320 --> 0:34:25.720 like my senses all of a sudden became super hyper aware, 0:34:26.200 --> 0:34:28.040 and as I'm looking down, I see the little red 0:34:28.120 --> 0:34:30.080 light that marks the center of the antenna. Now I'm 0:34:30.120 --> 0:34:34.160 just watching it slowly start coming, and all of a sudden, 0:34:34.600 --> 0:34:38.120 I pass the little red light that marks the middle. 0:34:38.480 --> 0:34:40.640 And as I pass that light, my brain all of 0:34:40.640 --> 0:34:42.960 a sudden does these like really quick calculations and it's like, 0:34:43.000 --> 0:34:46.120 wait a minute, You've just gone more than half the antenna. 0:34:46.640 --> 0:34:49.400 Your parachute hasn't opened yet, You've gone more than one 0:34:49.440 --> 0:34:54.160 hundred and fifty feet. Oh shit, you're going in like 0:34:54.880 --> 0:34:57.359 uh oh. And I remember seeing the razor wire fence 0:34:57.360 --> 0:34:59.040 which was going to be my impact point, and I 0:34:59.040 --> 0:35:01.239 see it coming and I'm like, oh shit. And I 0:35:01.239 --> 0:35:04.759 remember bringing my hands up and by bracing for impacts 0:35:04.760 --> 0:35:07.040 like I'm gonna be like, okay, I'm hitting this friggin 0:35:07.480 --> 0:35:09.879 like razor wire fence. So I bring my arms up, 0:35:10.000 --> 0:35:12.320 and right as I do this, I hear this sound 0:35:12.360 --> 0:35:15.520 of velcrow going and what that is is at the 0:35:15.520 --> 0:35:18.360 back of the shrivel flap of my parachute. It goes, 0:35:18.600 --> 0:35:21.720 and then all of a sudden, my parachute opens. Dude. 0:35:21.840 --> 0:35:24.440 It felt like someone had taken me and placed me 0:35:24.480 --> 0:35:27.680 against a brick wall and took a baseball bat and 0:35:27.800 --> 0:35:29.840 just hit me in the chest with it as hard 0:35:29.880 --> 0:35:33.040 as they could and literally just like boom. And the 0:35:33.080 --> 0:35:36.000 impact of opening was so strong that it almost knocked 0:35:36.040 --> 0:35:39.239 me unconscious. And I'm like cool, and I'm like holy shit, 0:35:39.520 --> 0:35:41.279 And all of a sudden, I'm so low. I don't 0:35:41.280 --> 0:35:43.800 have time to grab toggles. I just grab one rear riser. 0:35:44.080 --> 0:35:47.440 I'm turning as I impact the asphalt of the road, 0:35:47.640 --> 0:35:50.120 and I bounce off the asphalt sideways. So I hit 0:35:50.160 --> 0:35:52.680 the asphalt, bounce, and I'm laying in the grass and 0:35:52.680 --> 0:35:55.560 I remember my entire body just vibrating, and then I 0:35:55.560 --> 0:36:00.200 remember like standing up and I could see everything and 0:36:00.239 --> 0:36:03.080 I can actually hear little insects crawling in the grass, 0:36:03.120 --> 0:36:07.279 I mean, and I was so oh dude, I was 0:36:07.360 --> 0:36:10.840 connected and wired to the reality and the universe in 0:36:10.880 --> 0:36:12.920 which I existed in a way that I've never felt. 0:36:12.920 --> 0:36:15.800 I mean, it was so powerful, and all of a sudden, 0:36:15.840 --> 0:36:19.319 I'm like, that's it. I'm a base jumper. 0:36:19.400 --> 0:36:31.439 Now you went to South Africa tabletop, you jump off, 0:36:31.480 --> 0:36:34.480 you injure yourself and then you think to yourself, right, 0:36:34.760 --> 0:36:36.480 I'm going to go back there and then. 0:36:36.320 --> 0:36:40.080 You mess yourself up. You fuck yourself up even more. 0:36:40.640 --> 0:36:45.040 Take me through that mindset that you had and what 0:36:45.160 --> 0:36:46.319 actually happened on that day. 0:36:46.560 --> 0:36:49.279 Well, needless to say, I've been almost killed twice in 0:36:49.320 --> 0:36:51.480 South Africa. The first time was jumping off a three 0:36:51.520 --> 0:36:53.720 hundred foot waterfall where I broke my back in three places, 0:36:53.760 --> 0:36:55.399 all my ribs, left foot, right knee. I was eating 0:36:55.480 --> 0:36:57.640 live by animals for three hours where I waited for rescue. 0:36:57.680 --> 0:37:00.360 Rescue took nine hours. Spent six weeks laying in a 0:37:00.480 --> 0:37:03.880 South African hospital on my back broken, completely shattered. 0:37:04.600 --> 0:37:05.600 How how did that happen? 0:37:05.800 --> 0:37:07.520 I mean, there are a lot of things. It's I 0:37:07.600 --> 0:37:09.919 messed up. I was new. I only had forty base jumps. 0:37:09.920 --> 0:37:11.960 It was in nineteen ninety nine, like I had just 0:37:12.120 --> 0:37:14.879 I was in the very early stages. Basically, It's funny 0:37:14.920 --> 0:37:17.120 because it was the beginning of my career, and my 0:37:17.239 --> 0:37:19.640 career ended with the career ending injury, Like there was 0:37:19.680 --> 0:37:21.680 an injury that should have stopped me from base jumping, 0:37:21.680 --> 0:37:25.520 like any normal sane human would would have been like, Okay, 0:37:25.560 --> 0:37:27.040 that's it, I'm done with this. And the doctor even 0:37:27.080 --> 0:37:28.920 said he walks into the you know when I'm in 0:37:28.920 --> 0:37:31.279 the emergency room and I'm in he comes in. He's like, oh, 0:37:31.320 --> 0:37:33.120 I bet you're never gonna do that again. And I'm 0:37:33.160 --> 0:37:36.279 just like, uh, actually, the only two things in the 0:37:36.320 --> 0:37:37.960 world are going to prevent me from base jumping or 0:37:38.000 --> 0:37:41.920 quadriplegia or death. Anything short of that, I'm gonna keep jumping. 0:37:41.960 --> 0:37:43.280 And he just looked at me and he's like, whoa, 0:37:43.520 --> 0:37:45.120 He's all right, Well, I guess you'll keep jumping then, 0:37:45.360 --> 0:37:47.399 you know. But that that, at that stage in my life, 0:37:47.440 --> 0:37:49.040 there was just nothing. I mean, I didn't care. The 0:37:49.080 --> 0:37:50.960 only reason I was getting better, the reason I went 0:37:51.000 --> 0:37:54.000 to rehab, the reason I worked out and fixed my 0:37:54.120 --> 0:37:56.600 back and fixed the injuries, was so I could jump again. 0:37:56.640 --> 0:37:58.600 That's all I cared about. That's all there was. So 0:37:58.640 --> 0:38:01.279 that was, you know, in ninety nine nine, And then 0:38:01.400 --> 0:38:05.160 the one you're talking about was in twoenty and twelve. 0:38:06.000 --> 0:38:09.719 I was filming for Real Sports on HBO. At that 0:38:09.800 --> 0:38:12.279 stage was like thirteen fourteen years. I'd already been earning 0:38:12.280 --> 0:38:15.600 a living as a base jumper. I'd already done countless documentaries, 0:38:15.600 --> 0:38:17.960 I'd already done countless TV shows, and now I was 0:38:17.960 --> 0:38:20.279 already filming and I'm doing a show now for real 0:38:20.280 --> 0:38:20.759 sports now. 0:38:20.840 --> 0:38:22.760 And this is why it's so interesting this one, because 0:38:23.000 --> 0:38:26.040 you know you you experienced your the top of your game. 0:38:26.120 --> 0:38:29.080 You're at the top of the game, and this is 0:38:29.080 --> 0:38:30.720 why I just want to know about your headspace. 0:38:30.840 --> 0:38:31.240 Was it? 0:38:31.400 --> 0:38:33.760 Was it never by you? Did you go in over confident? 0:38:33.960 --> 0:38:35.920 Did you go in you know? Did ego get in 0:38:35.920 --> 0:38:36.239 the way? 0:38:36.360 --> 0:38:38.600 Did you know? Do you know what I mean? This 0:38:38.680 --> 0:38:40.640 is why it's so interesting that moment. 0:38:41.120 --> 0:38:43.920 The reality of the situation is all those things come 0:38:43.960 --> 0:38:46.799 to play. But really, at the end of the day, 0:38:47.160 --> 0:38:52.040 it's simpler than that. The real reality is is wingstue 0:38:52.120 --> 0:38:56.400 proximity flying has very small margins for error, and when 0:38:56.480 --> 0:39:00.680 you make mistakes, the mistakes are very serious. Usually the 0:39:00.719 --> 0:39:03.680 mistake's equal death. Like if you mess up while proximity 0:39:03.680 --> 0:39:08.680 flying in a wingsuit, you will most likely die. And unfortunately, 0:39:08.719 --> 0:39:12.080 I'm a human being, and human beings make mistakes. And 0:39:12.120 --> 0:39:15.240 that's one of the reasons why base jumping and especially 0:39:15.280 --> 0:39:19.120 wingsuit proximity flying are so dangerous. Because you are a 0:39:19.200 --> 0:39:22.319 human You're gonna make a mistake and when you do 0:39:22.480 --> 0:39:25.160 in this sport, it's gonna be serious. That's all there 0:39:25.200 --> 0:39:27.759 is to it. And the best way to put it is, yes, 0:39:27.840 --> 0:39:30.200 we can go through the list of mistakes, but I'm 0:39:30.200 --> 0:39:33.760 a human being. I messed up. I impacted flat solid granite. 0:39:34.200 --> 0:39:35.719 You know, I was flying at an angle. But the 0:39:37.080 --> 0:39:40.640 people keep arguing if it's granite or you know, cape stone, 0:39:40.680 --> 0:39:44.680 whatever it is, it's flat solid rock, right flats a 0:39:44.680 --> 0:39:47.160 lot of rock. I impact it over termed at one hundred 0:39:47.200 --> 0:39:49.640 and twenty plus miles an hour. Okay, I hit it 0:39:49.760 --> 0:39:55.160 terminal velocity, which to bounce off flat rock at terminal 0:39:55.200 --> 0:39:59.440 velocity is not a survivable accident. You will die like 0:39:59.520 --> 0:40:02.840 I had a get ripped in half doing this exact 0:40:02.920 --> 0:40:07.279 same thing. So you know, I impacted, And when I 0:40:07.400 --> 0:40:10.640 hit I knew I was gonna die like it was 0:40:10.640 --> 0:40:12.880 an unsurvivd It was so strange because I'm coming in. 0:40:12.960 --> 0:40:15.600 I've set up a target. It's a balloon coming in 0:40:15.600 --> 0:40:18.479 to hit the target. I think I'm good. Everything looks 0:40:18.520 --> 0:40:21.879 fine from my perspective, and everything's looking okay, and I'm 0:40:21.920 --> 0:40:24.279 coming from my target and I hit my target. But 0:40:24.320 --> 0:40:26.399 as I hit my target, all of a sudden, I'm 0:40:26.800 --> 0:40:30.960 tumbling and I can feel my legs are crushed. And 0:40:31.000 --> 0:40:33.160 I didn't even realize I was gonna impact until after 0:40:33.200 --> 0:40:35.880 I impacted, and all of a sudden, I'm tumbling and 0:40:35.920 --> 0:40:38.600 my legs are crushed and I can feel them crushed. 0:40:38.680 --> 0:40:40.680 Like I'm like, my legs are gone, like I don't 0:40:40.680 --> 0:40:45.880 have legs. I'm like, I'm destroyed. I'm gonna die. Like 0:40:45.920 --> 0:40:48.920 there's I realized instantly I just went in. I just 0:40:48.960 --> 0:40:52.799 impacted flat rock at terminal. I mean I was I 0:40:52.840 --> 0:40:54.920 was building speed, like I was going as fast as 0:40:54.960 --> 0:40:58.319 I could go, and I'm like, I'm dead. There's no 0:40:58.360 --> 0:41:01.799 way I can live. And my brain instantly split into 0:41:01.800 --> 0:41:05.040 two separate places, you know, And this is where time 0:41:05.080 --> 0:41:08.719 distortion happens again, where time just goes and stretches out. 0:41:09.040 --> 0:41:11.800 But this time the time distortion was even more bizarre 0:41:11.960 --> 0:41:15.959 because my brain went two different places. So one part 0:41:15.960 --> 0:41:19.040 of my brain was doing calculations. It was all math. 0:41:19.400 --> 0:41:23.040 It's like, okay, you're tumbling, regain control. So I'm regaining 0:41:23.040 --> 0:41:25.720 control with a broken wingsuit, destroyed body, and I'm still 0:41:25.840 --> 0:41:27.800 I have to fly over a series of three ledges 0:41:27.880 --> 0:41:31.040 or die. So my body goes into just automatic Okay, 0:41:31.080 --> 0:41:32.560 what do you need to do to survive? And it's 0:41:32.600 --> 0:41:34.920 just that's all being calculated. Okay, ledge, you gotta get 0:41:34.920 --> 0:41:36.359 over that ledge. Okay, there's no lege. You gotta get 0:41:36.360 --> 0:41:37.799 over that ledge. Oh you gotta get over that ledge. 0:41:37.800 --> 0:41:40.080 You gotta You don't have the altitude to pull, and 0:41:40.239 --> 0:41:42.879 my brain is just doing this, and then another part 0:41:42.920 --> 0:41:45.960 of my brain is having a philosophical conversation with me, 0:41:46.760 --> 0:41:52.280 and it's just like, huh, well, you're dead. It's unsurvivable. 0:41:52.640 --> 0:41:56.800 You just impacted flat rock at terminal. You can't survive. 0:41:56.840 --> 0:42:00.600 It's unsurvivable. You're going to die. So question is, how 0:42:00.680 --> 0:42:02.480 do you want to die? Do you want it to 0:42:02.480 --> 0:42:08.800 be slow, agonizing and painful or do you want to 0:42:08.840 --> 0:42:12.480 be quick? Those are your two choices, But you're gonna die. 0:42:13.280 --> 0:42:20.520 So I could either pull and land and slowly bleed 0:42:20.520 --> 0:42:22.799 to death while I'm waiting for a rescue, which I 0:42:22.840 --> 0:42:25.799 know from experience being part of quite a few of them, 0:42:26.120 --> 0:42:29.200 that if they send a chopper, it's probably forty five minutes, 0:42:29.440 --> 0:42:31.360 maybe an hour, is how long it will take for 0:42:31.400 --> 0:42:33.200 them to get me off that mountain. I will be 0:42:33.239 --> 0:42:36.799 dead probably within seconds, minutes, maybe a half hour if 0:42:36.840 --> 0:42:39.480 I'm lucky, depending on the damage to my legs. But 0:42:39.520 --> 0:42:42.000 I was sure that they were completely shattered and destroyed, 0:42:42.000 --> 0:42:45.440 and I was gonna bleed out almost certainly. So I'm like, huh, 0:42:45.520 --> 0:42:48.200 I can suffer for maybe a half an hour and die, 0:42:48.440 --> 0:42:50.440 or I could just not open go head first and 0:42:50.520 --> 0:42:55.319 just be done with it. And it was an incredibly 0:42:55.360 --> 0:42:57.480 difficult decision to make. It'd be like somebody coming to 0:42:57.520 --> 0:42:59.279 you and having a gun and saying I'm gonna shoot 0:42:59.280 --> 0:43:00.640 you in the head or the stomach. You get to 0:43:00.640 --> 0:43:02.360 die one way. You want to suffer, you want to 0:43:02.360 --> 0:43:04.120 be quick, and you have to make the decision. Am 0:43:04.160 --> 0:43:06.600 I gonna suffer through this? Or am I just gonna 0:43:06.600 --> 0:43:10.560 make it be finished? Because I'm not gonna live. And 0:43:10.640 --> 0:43:12.719 what's interesting is that the part of my brain doing 0:43:12.719 --> 0:43:14.920 all the calculations all of a sudden is like, Okay, 0:43:15.080 --> 0:43:17.680 I cleared the third ledge. I had as much altitude 0:43:17.680 --> 0:43:19.520 as I was ever gonna have. It's like you pull 0:43:19.600 --> 0:43:23.120 now or you die. This is the moment. And the 0:43:23.160 --> 0:43:25.520 part of my brain that was kind of thinking about 0:43:25.520 --> 0:43:29.000 this is like, well, you know, let's see how much 0:43:29.000 --> 0:43:31.960 time you can get. You know, if it's one minute, 0:43:32.040 --> 0:43:33.840 I want it. If it's two minutes, I want it, 0:43:33.840 --> 0:43:35.239 If it's ten minutes, I want I don't even care 0:43:35.280 --> 0:43:38.839 if it's suffering in pain. I just want time. All 0:43:38.840 --> 0:43:42.759 of a sudden, I realized the only thing that actually 0:43:42.920 --> 0:43:47.759 matters in life is time. That's it. As long as 0:43:47.800 --> 0:43:53.280 you're alive, anything can happen, anything's possible. But the second 0:43:53.400 --> 0:43:56.920 you're dead, that's it. It's the end of all possibilities. 0:43:57.360 --> 0:43:59.920 It's finished for you. So I decided, you know what, 0:44:00.040 --> 0:44:04.080 ye I want the time. So I pulled and I 0:44:04.120 --> 0:44:06.160 had a second and a half canopy ride with line 0:44:06.200 --> 0:44:09.480 twists impacted a second time, broke myself some more, and 0:44:09.520 --> 0:44:12.319 then I laid there suffering in pain. And it was 0:44:12.360 --> 0:44:14.520 like one hundred and twenty degrees that day. I was 0:44:14.560 --> 0:44:17.360 like breaking records for heat, and I'm covered in black 0:44:17.560 --> 0:44:20.400 and I'm being cooked alive, and I was white. My 0:44:20.480 --> 0:44:23.080 legs were broken open and a blood was everywhere, and 0:44:23.120 --> 0:44:25.799 it was just it was It was so painful and 0:44:25.880 --> 0:44:28.800 so horrible. But I will say this, you know, going 0:44:28.840 --> 0:44:32.879 from a suicidal teen right who didn't want to be here, 0:44:33.880 --> 0:44:38.360 who then went through that experience and chose life, you know, 0:44:38.680 --> 0:44:42.960 and that type of situation, it's absolutely fascinating to me. 0:44:43.120 --> 0:44:49.719 And I feel blessed. I feel very fortunate that I 0:44:49.760 --> 0:44:51.680 got to a place in my life where I was 0:44:51.760 --> 0:44:56.319 so content and so happy and understood that life is 0:44:56.360 --> 0:44:59.920 what matters. That time you get, that little time you 0:45:00.040 --> 0:45:02.640 get to exist is what means something. And you know, 0:45:02.760 --> 0:45:06.640 if you're suffering, if you're in a dark place, just realize, dude, 0:45:06.680 --> 0:45:10.480 hang on. You never know. You know, as long as 0:45:10.520 --> 0:45:13.960 you're alive, there's the possibility of better things. But the 0:45:14.080 --> 0:45:17.280 second it's over, it's over, man, and it's over forever. 0:45:17.880 --> 0:45:19.399 You know, you get that, you said it. As long 0:45:19.400 --> 0:45:22.120 as you've got that time, you know, give you a 0:45:22.320 --> 0:45:23.560 possible all time. 0:45:23.400 --> 0:45:27.120 Because that's where the opportunities possibilities can come from. 0:45:27.200 --> 0:45:27.359 Right. 0:45:27.719 --> 0:45:30.919 Yeah, I love that, mate, I love that. Well listen, 0:45:31.040 --> 0:45:33.520 what a note to finish up on, Jeb. I love 0:45:33.560 --> 0:45:37.360 your en it. I could feel your energy through the screen. Honestly, 0:45:37.520 --> 0:45:40.279 it's very rare that you get that of experience that 0:45:40.320 --> 0:45:42.799 with a few people, and you're one of them. You know, 0:45:42.840 --> 0:45:44.480 you've hyped me up for the day now, which is 0:45:44.520 --> 0:45:50.440 always good. It was great, It was great, Jeb, listen, 0:45:50.960 --> 0:45:53.239 quick one just to quickly end up on what's the 0:45:53.280 --> 0:45:53.960 next jump for you? 0:45:56.920 --> 0:46:00.680 Honestly, dude, my life I could never jump again and 0:46:00.719 --> 0:46:03.680 be content at this stage. I'm just a happy human 0:46:03.719 --> 0:46:06.000 being who wakes up every morning stoke to be alive. 0:46:06.280 --> 0:46:08.640 Anytime I'll go back. You can buy myself without a 0:46:08.680 --> 0:46:10.560 bedpan is a freaking epic day. 0:46:11.080 --> 0:46:14.839 So well, listen mate, love that. Thanks so much, Jeb, 0:46:14.880 --> 0:46:15.600 you're a gentleman. 0:46:16.000 --> 0:46:16.640 Thanks buddy. 0:46:17.719 --> 0:46:21.120 My guest today was Jeb Carless. You can find out 0:46:21.120 --> 0:46:25.280 more about Jeb's story in his book Memoirs from the Edge. 0:46:25.760 --> 0:46:29.200 I link the details in the show notes. Thanks for 0:46:29.280 --> 0:46:32.400 listening to this conversation. I hope you found jeb story 0:46:32.640 --> 0:46:34.399 as fascinating as I did. 0:46:34.960 --> 0:46:37.880 I'm at Middleton. See you again next time.