WEBVTT - Chick Chat | Can Women Have It All?

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<v Speaker 1>I really.

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<v Speaker 2>It is so time for ah let's go girl, I

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<v Speaker 2>need chick chat too.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, welcome back, ladies. Thank you.

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<v Speaker 4>Got Abby from the newsroom.

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<v Speaker 5>We've got producers Zoe and the question I'm going to

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<v Speaker 5>post to you both this morning. And let's be honest,

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<v Speaker 5>we at different phases in our life.

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<v Speaker 4>I am a touch older than you.

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<v Speaker 5>Both just to touch dum and I have four children

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<v Speaker 5>and I have one and a half jobs, and so

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<v Speaker 5>that's where I'm at. Zoe, you're in your twenty five,

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<v Speaker 5>just turned twenty five, recently coupled in a new relationship yeap,

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<v Speaker 5>and working here.

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<v Speaker 3>And I'm thirty three and single as a pring girl.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh this is speed dating right now.

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<v Speaker 2>I do have two sausage jogs, though, which could be

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<v Speaker 2>classed as children.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm a single mother essentially.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, and from someone who's such a giant outsider in this,

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<v Speaker 5>that's why this works for me.

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<v Speaker 3>I got three very very yes.

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<v Speaker 5>So I want to pose the question to you both

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<v Speaker 5>this morning. I've have very very very firm views on it.

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<v Speaker 4>Can women have it all?

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<v Speaker 5>I'll start being absolutely categorically no, I don't know. You've

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<v Speaker 5>got one job and that's to prove press the button

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<v Speaker 5>that you.

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<v Speaker 6>No.

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<v Speaker 5>I just think it's the biggest load of bs that

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<v Speaker 5>we've been sold that we can be boss bitches as

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<v Speaker 5>you like to say, Zoe, in the workplace, we can

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<v Speaker 5>dominate here, we can go as high as we want

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<v Speaker 5>in our career, and yet also we can have the

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<v Speaker 5>perfect home life.

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<v Speaker 4>What a load of crap.

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<v Speaker 5>And I, in my experience, have found over the journey,

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<v Speaker 5>at one point, one of them is going to give,

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<v Speaker 5>one of them is going to suffer. You cannot dominate

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<v Speaker 5>at work and then you cannot dominate at home and

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<v Speaker 5>live like this parallel universe where everything's perfect.

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<v Speaker 4>It's just it's a fallacy.

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<v Speaker 3>Are you dominate at home and then bringing poor performances

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<v Speaker 3>or Battle of the Bangers? So no from you, Jody,

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<v Speaker 3>and you're the one with the most life experience.

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<v Speaker 5>Well, I just feel like we were sold this fantasy

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<v Speaker 5>when we were allowed to go into the workplaces, like

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<v Speaker 5>women can do what you want, you can be independent,

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<v Speaker 5>you can go to work. However, you're still going to

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<v Speaker 5>do all the stuff at home, like no one else.

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<v Speaker 4>Is going to do that for you.

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<v Speaker 5>You might have a really you know, committed partner who

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<v Speaker 5>chips in, but let's be on a statistics shows that

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<v Speaker 5>women do most of the heavy domestic lifting.

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<v Speaker 4>Still yes, so.

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<v Speaker 5>Oh no, actually certainly not in my house.

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<v Speaker 7>It greg's wonderful. How do you think, Yeah, I think

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<v Speaker 7>it's a tough one. I was saying to you guys

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<v Speaker 7>before that. Growing up, I think, particularly my generation, it

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<v Speaker 7>was very much like, let's go be a boss woman.

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<v Speaker 7>You want to have the best career and be killing

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<v Speaker 7>it and everyone wants to envy you, and blah blah,

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<v Speaker 7>that's kind of what you're aspiring for. So at twenty, yeah,

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<v Speaker 7>I've got a partner for the first time in a

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<v Speaker 7>long time, but I haven't even thought about a family.

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<v Speaker 7>I don't want to have kids because I don't think

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<v Speaker 7>I can have it all if I have got kids.

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<v Speaker 7>So I think you can't have it all either, unfortunately.

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<v Speaker 7>But also in this new landscape of whatever the world

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<v Speaker 7>looks like now, I think having it all has got

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<v Speaker 7>to be redefined anyway, Like what is having it all?

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<v Speaker 7>You know? Like, is having it all having the perfect

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<v Speaker 7>job and family and husband and all of it, or

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<v Speaker 7>is having it all just killing your career or just

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<v Speaker 7>having the family side or whatever it is. I don't

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<v Speaker 7>think it's possible to have.

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<v Speaker 5>Both yeah, and that expression you're a superwoman because you

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<v Speaker 5>can do all that. Yeah, please give it a rest.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 5>I don't know any women who have fully got it

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<v Speaker 5>together and are fully thriving.

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<v Speaker 7>Yeah, and maybe the problem is that shouldn't be the

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<v Speaker 7>expectation anyway, exactly. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>I which, weirdly I'm going to admit on this topic

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<v Speaker 2>am kind of an optimist, which I'm not in other parts.

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<v Speaker 3>I know people will be shocked with that.

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<v Speaker 2>I would like to think, yes, you can have it all,

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<v Speaker 2>but I think there's got to be things in place,

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<v Speaker 2>like you've got to have a partner who steps up.

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<v Speaker 2>You've got to have it that they say, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>raising kids, it takes a village. So I think for me, yes,

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<v Speaker 2>I would love to still have a career and then

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<v Speaker 2>you know, down the track, meet someone and have babies

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<v Speaker 2>and things like that.

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<v Speaker 3>But yeah, it's a catch twenty two.

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<v Speaker 2>I've also recently, instead of being we talk about you.

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<v Speaker 3>Know, i'll be happy when I'll be happy when.

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<v Speaker 2>I speak a lot about being content, So changing that

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<v Speaker 2>perspective of oh, I'll be happy when I'm in my career,

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<v Speaker 2>I've got kids, I'm married, whereas being more content.

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<v Speaker 3>Maybe is better for us.

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<v Speaker 4>Can I pull you up on something though?

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<v Speaker 3>Of course, who's got a village? Well, that's it.

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<v Speaker 5>We're all paddling madly underwater, trying to keep our heads up.

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<v Speaker 5>I don't have time to help my friends out. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 5>you know, I don't have time to help my neighbor out.

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<v Speaker 4>There is no village.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, we're all just doing it for ourselves at the moment,

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<v Speaker 5>and we're all just trying to bloody survive.

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<v Speaker 4>Sorry.

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<v Speaker 8>Yeah, you were.

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<v Speaker 5>Optimistic for the first time in your life, for the

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<v Speaker 5>very first time.

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<v Speaker 3>The visitor I killed my dream, Jodie. That's a good

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<v Speaker 3>point of being a village.

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<v Speaker 7>It's hard work. Being members of other people's villages is

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<v Speaker 7>not actually easy. That's also time consuming and hard. But yeah,

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<v Speaker 7>I think, yeah, that's where the redefinition comes from. Like

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<v Speaker 7>for me, I will be a village member for most

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<v Speaker 7>of the people in my life because I probably won't

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<v Speaker 7>have kids of my own. I can help pick up

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<v Speaker 7>some of the slack to help other people have it all.

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<v Speaker 7>But then technically, under the real definition of it, I'm

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<v Speaker 7>not having it all, you know, So it's got to change.

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<v Speaker 7>The definition's got to shift.

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<v Speaker 4>Absolutely, you're a wise little chicken. Aren't you what I

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<v Speaker 4>love about you? Very very thoughtful?

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<v Speaker 5>Thirteen twenty four to ten.

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<v Speaker 4>Can we have it all?

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<v Speaker 5>If you're a woman who's sitting there going, well, what

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<v Speaker 5>are they talking about?

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<v Speaker 3>I've got it all?

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<v Speaker 5>I'd love to hear that, but I want to hear

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<v Speaker 5>from you. You could completely and utterly disagree with me, Tana, if.

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<v Speaker 1>You like, no, I'm not going to actually and I

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<v Speaker 1>am not a spring chicken either, so I but I

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<v Speaker 1>agree with Zoe. I think, honestly, how we define what

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<v Speaker 1>it means to you have it all and be fixed

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<v Speaker 1>and do all those things needs to be re evaluated

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<v Speaker 1>and looked at, because sometimes for me, it's just getting

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<v Speaker 1>out of bed, or it's just getting through the day,

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<v Speaker 1>or it's just you know, finishing one small, tiny task.

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<v Speaker 1>And this idea and expectation that women have to give

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<v Speaker 1>one hundred and fifty percent to everything all the time

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<v Speaker 1>is completely outrageous, Like that is not sustainable, it is

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<v Speaker 1>not achievable. But that's the expectation that's been set up

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<v Speaker 1>for us by dare I say it's the patriarch.

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<v Speaker 8>Let's just put it out there.

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<v Speaker 1>Gender expectations, gender roles, hundreds of years of history have

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<v Speaker 1>told us that yes, we can have all those things,

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<v Speaker 1>but it comes at a price, and you know what,

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<v Speaker 1>like you said, it's the drowning price. And you do

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<v Speaker 1>you feel like you're on your own, and you know,

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<v Speaker 1>you look at all the women around you and they're

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<v Speaker 1>so strong and they're brave and they're beautiful, and you're like,

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<v Speaker 1>why can't I do it like them? But you know what,

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<v Speaker 1>they're doing it like you?

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<v Speaker 5>Yes, yes, No one really talks about it, do they Tana?

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<v Speaker 4>By the way, they don't.

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<v Speaker 8>And this is such a good chat.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you. I'm going to cry and it's on the Really,

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<v Speaker 1>that was.

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<v Speaker 5>So articulate and well spoken and exactly how I feel

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<v Speaker 5>about the whole situation. So thank you so much for

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<v Speaker 5>giving us a call just so you know the patriarchy

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<v Speaker 5>that's boys.

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<v Speaker 3>That you.

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<v Speaker 4>See what we have to do with. Thank you.

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<v Speaker 5>That's unbelievably well spoken, unbelievably And I think she's said.

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<v Speaker 4>One Jade, good morning.

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<v Speaker 8>Good morning.

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<v Speaker 3>Can we have it all?

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<v Speaker 8>No?

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, what are your thoughts?

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<v Speaker 8>No? I think I think social media right, Yes, woman's

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<v Speaker 8>wise because it's this like it betrays this completely false narrative.

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<v Speaker 8>You see all these women out there who are killing

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<v Speaker 8>it and so successful and so happy in their relationships.

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<v Speaker 8>Everything's perfect, And like the other lady just said, like

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<v Speaker 8>you think, oh, why can't I be like that? But

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<v Speaker 8>I know nobody's actually like that. It's just when you're

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<v Speaker 8>comparing ourselves to things that aren't even through and it's

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<v Speaker 8>not achievable at all. Like I said, I have three kids.

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<v Speaker 8>I work four days a week, which isn't much. I'm

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<v Speaker 8>sort of old school though, I'm like, I don't want

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<v Speaker 8>my partners to have to do lots around the house.

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<v Speaker 8>He works seven days a week, so then I'm trying

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<v Speaker 8>to juggle all these things and trying to make all

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<v Speaker 8>these people happy and making myself extremely frustrated and unhappy

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<v Speaker 8>in the process. It's just I think we just need

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<v Speaker 8>to chill out.

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<v Speaker 4>Jane.

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<v Speaker 5>I agree with you, and please don't ever say working

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<v Speaker 5>four days a week with three kids is not much.

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<v Speaker 5>It's that's the hell of a lot, and it's a

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<v Speaker 5>lot on your plate. So you're doing really well. But

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<v Speaker 5>on that social media front, hazy. I see these women

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<v Speaker 5>who I know for an actual fact a miserable, miserable,

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<v Speaker 5>and they're overworked in this stressed and yet I click

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<v Speaker 5>on their social media and I go, oh my god.

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<v Speaker 7>That's the pressure, isn't it. We're chasing an impossible Stce.

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<v Speaker 5>What are you trying to say here that your life

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<v Speaker 5>is perfection?

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<v Speaker 4>And you know, yeah, it's unbelievable.

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<v Speaker 5>Anyway, Chloe Eve of morning, good morning.

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<v Speaker 4>Can we have it all?

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<v Speaker 6>I think that's going to depend on how selfish you are.

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<v Speaker 6>If you're very selfish, then yes you can and you

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<v Speaker 6>just take, take, take, and don't give. But then you

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<v Speaker 6>come across as a terrible person if you don't give back.

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<v Speaker 6>So really, it's going to depend on how you want

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<v Speaker 6>to be viewed by people, if you want to be

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<v Speaker 6>viewed as somebody who is very selfish or somebody that

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<v Speaker 6>is not. So really, it's going to be in the

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<v Speaker 6>eye of perception of other people what you want them

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<v Speaker 6>to see.

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<v Speaker 7>I think I agree, you can have more if you're

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<v Speaker 7>willing to just take from the world and do what's

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<v Speaker 7>best solely for you. But like we had this hit

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<v Speaker 7>chat on the phone to us and I said, you

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<v Speaker 7>want to give back. Life's about giving two.

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<v Speaker 5>So well, that depends on what you want your legacy

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<v Speaker 5>to be, right, Yeah, how do you want to be

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<v Speaker 5>remembered Some more pressure.

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<v Speaker 8>What do you want.

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<v Speaker 4>Footprint to be?

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<v Speaker 5>Do you want to be someone who, okay, killing it

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<v Speaker 5>at work, allegedly killing it at home, but then people

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<v Speaker 5>walk out of a room and go, oh, she's not

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<v Speaker 5>a very nice person.

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<v Speaker 4>Tricky one.