Speaker 1: Cook, Craig Anthony Halp of you Project Cookie. It's Melbourne
Speaker 1: Cup day too.
Speaker 2: I haven't heard a thing of I don't listen to
Speaker 2: radio or watch TV though, so I don't. I just
Speaker 2: know it's a day offer everyone and the sounds out
Speaker 2: it's really busy out there.
Speaker 1: There's probably not two people in Victoria who give less
Speaker 1: of a fuck about I'm going to say it a
Speaker 1: stupid fucking horse race. I feel sorry for the horses.
Speaker 1: I care about the horses, don't care about the jockeys. Sorry,
Speaker 1: it's just me, that's all right. I can hate me.
Speaker 1: I don't care, but it just has no interest for me.
Speaker 1: Horse racing gambling doesn't mean people shouldn't do it, just
Speaker 1: doesn't doesn't do it for me. I don't see the
Speaker 1: I don't see the attraction.
Speaker 2: I've gone I've gone right right off it. In later years,
Speaker 2: the idea of what horses go through, and just the
Speaker 2: industry that is horse racing, and the complete lack of yeah,
Speaker 2: you have gone right off it. A bit of a hater.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, you know, it just doesn't entrust horses. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love animals and I think you know I do.
Speaker 1: Are any horses putting up their hand to go, Hey,
Speaker 1: could you fucking bash me with that thing a hundred
Speaker 1: times while I run two miles And you know, anyway,
Speaker 1: let's not open that messy door because people are jumping
Speaker 1: off already. But it is five three on Tuesday afternoon,
Speaker 1: on the fifth of November twenty twenty four in the
Speaker 1: thriving metropolis of Melbourne. Got my radio voice back on
Speaker 1: It's Melbourne Cup Day, TIF cook over there at typ Central. Hey,
Speaker 1: what did you do today on Melbourne Cup Day? Oh?
Speaker 2: Feel like I did a bit of everything. You know what,
Speaker 2: when a day is just jumbled up for me, I
Speaker 2: get excited more than having a full day off. So
Speaker 2: normally Tuesdays I have afternoon clients, and today they slid
Speaker 2: earlier into the day and it was so I got up,
Speaker 2: I did my strength training early, I got out on
Speaker 2: the motorbike, I did clients, or I did clients first
Speaker 2: and the motorbike, then clients podcast and now you and
Speaker 2: then tonight my coaching group. And it feels like I
Speaker 2: feel like I'm on a holiday, which is weird, isn't it.
Speaker 1: It is. It's like I sat outside today in my trees,
Speaker 1: in my bamboo and it's funny how I just this
Speaker 1: seems really weird. But maybe it's in my mind. Maybe
Speaker 1: it's not, but my experience, whether or not it's created
Speaker 1: by me, or it's created by something external to me,
Speaker 1: but my experience when I go and I sit out there,
Speaker 1: and just to give you a picture, everyone, So I
Speaker 1: live in suburbia, but I live on the main road,
Speaker 1: and I've got bamboo trees that are I would think
Speaker 1: about ten to fifteen meters tall, like fucking hall and
Speaker 1: I've got hundreds and hundreds of them, and it basically
Speaker 1: forms what doesn't Basically it forms a green kind of
Speaker 1: border around my house. And when I sit down there
Speaker 1: at the bottom of those trees, it's like, and I
Speaker 1: lay back in my chair and I look up, I
Speaker 1: just see this blue sky enveloped by these green trees,
Speaker 1: and for me, it feels like a little energetic buffer
Speaker 1: from the chaos beyond the other side of the green.
Speaker 1: Because the other side of the green is cars and
Speaker 1: buses and trucks, fucking motorbikes and cafes and businesses and
Speaker 1: concrete and bitumen and mayhem. But in that little sanctuary,
Speaker 1: it's just I don't know, it's just something whether or
Speaker 1: not that's a byproduct of my thinking or a byproduct
Speaker 1: of what the trees actually do for me or to me.
Speaker 1: Either way, I fucking love it.
Speaker 2: I love it. I was just picturing it and how
Speaker 2: beautiful it would be on daylight today. But as you
Speaker 2: were describing it, I was also laughing because I was like,
Speaker 2: isn't that just a really sneaky, clever, natural way version
Speaker 2: of my hat that says fuck off? Like it's literally
Speaker 2: a natural thought to keep everything out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's funny, Like I don't you know. We've joked
Speaker 1: many times about your I think you've changed though, since
Speaker 1: you've got the rock in your bra And you might think,
Speaker 1: how does he know that? Well, the only reason I
Speaker 1: know is because she pulls it out of that region.
Speaker 1: Her rock as her like her zen, kind of her
Speaker 1: emotional regulation tool.
Speaker 2: So it often sits on my heart right.
Speaker 1: Okay, So and she brought that back from India and YadA, YadA, YadA.
Speaker 1: But for me, because there's a lot of this, there's
Speaker 1: a lot of coaching, there's a lot of I get,
Speaker 1: and I'm not at all ungrateful, but I get a
Speaker 1: lot of stuff happened to me that wouldn't happen to
Speaker 1: lots of peace people, and I won't like yesterday, So
Speaker 1: this is very common for me, so yesterday I won't.
Speaker 1: I won't mention his name because I think he listens
Speaker 1: to the show and he follows me. Anyway, I was
Speaker 1: walking down the street. I was one hundred meters from home.
Speaker 1: I just headed off for a walk and I'm wearing
Speaker 1: headphones and listening to something and I kind of think
Speaker 1: I hear my name, and then I see a bloke
Speaker 1: in a van screaming my name or waving at me
Speaker 1: and calling my name, and so I take my headphones
Speaker 1: off and he goes, you're a fucking legend like this,
Speaker 1: So no one knows who he is. So I'm not
Speaker 1: throwing anyone under the bus anyway. So I go over
Speaker 1: and and like, there's a guy who follows my stuff.
Speaker 1: And he was very complimentary and great dude, and it
Speaker 1: just it just like you know when you're about to
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, and I love people and I'm
Speaker 1: very grateful that people want to connect with me. So
Speaker 1: there's no you know, resentment in any of this. But
Speaker 1: you know when you're about to go and do something
Speaker 1: and then you're like, man, now, I'm not. Now I'm
Speaker 1: standing at the window of a van talking to a
Speaker 1: bloke who then very quickly went from you know, you're
Speaker 1: a fucking legend to quickly telling me about his life
Speaker 1: and a few things, which is fine, it's completely fine.
Speaker 1: But then you know, in the moment, you're like, and
Speaker 1: now I'm doing this. And then that was yesterday. Then
Speaker 1: the day before, another guy like, literally, this is just
Speaker 1: that I don't know well, but I know who he
Speaker 1: is and he knows who I am. And I walked
Speaker 1: out my side gate and he was he was walking
Speaker 1: towards my house, just coincidentally or past my house, and
Speaker 1: he went he yelled out, and I went, yeah, and
Speaker 1: I kind of, you know, I know him, but not great.
Speaker 1: And then he's he laughed because he was listening to
Speaker 1: me while I was walking, and then he said, you know, like,
Speaker 1: can I talk to you? And then I'm like, yep.
Speaker 1: So we stood on the corner of fucking whatever and
Speaker 1: whatever for ten minutes and then do you reckon we
Speaker 1: could catch up yep. And all of that is good
Speaker 1: and I love that, but you know, and lots of
Speaker 1: speaking and lots of coaching, and every time I go
Speaker 1: to the cafe, which is cool. Lots of people say hello,
Speaker 1: and not because I'm a big deal. I'm not. But
Speaker 1: you know, if I'm sitting there by myself every morning,
Speaker 1: at least one person will just sit opposite me to
Speaker 1: talk for a minute or two, and ninety percent of
Speaker 1: the time they want to tell me about something that's
Speaker 1: going on in their life, and I'm okay with that
Speaker 1: as well. Sometimes just say low. My long winded point
Speaker 1: is because I live by myself, and because you can't
Speaker 1: get to my front door, like I have a property
Speaker 1: with gates with locks, so you can't, and there's no intercom,
Speaker 1: there's no buzzer, so you can't even fucking you know,
Speaker 1: even you couldn't rock up and just unless you know,
Speaker 1: you're going to scale some much higher than new fence
Speaker 1: and look like a fucking criminal. So for me, it's
Speaker 1: like that, I love Okay. Now I'm here, I'm talking
Speaker 1: to you, I'm connecting with you. I'm investing mental and
Speaker 1: emotional and physical energy in you, and I'm all about you.
Speaker 1: And it's like I did a session the other day
Speaker 1: with a lady who have done two sessions with and
Speaker 1: we're talking about this, and I said, look from seven
Speaker 1: o'clock to eight o'clock on this particular day, I said,
Speaker 1: every second of every minute of this hour is about
Speaker 1: me serving you. That's literally my job for this hour, right,
Speaker 1: And that's all good. But you can't do that, yeah,
Speaker 1: twenty four hours a day, like you have to go
Speaker 1: like you need your little space, you need your cave,
Speaker 1: whatever your metaphor, for that happy place or that calm place.
Speaker 1: You know. I need my cave. I need to be
Speaker 1: able to get behind the wall. I need to turn
Speaker 1: the off. I need to not talk. I need to
Speaker 1: not solve a problem. I need to not answer a question.
Speaker 1: I need to not think about fucking human behavior or
Speaker 1: psychology or my PhD or I need you know. And
Speaker 1: it's not all the time, but if there's not that
Speaker 1: swing of the pendulum, you know, we're going to end
Speaker 1: up being a five out of ten version of ourselves.
Speaker 1: Well not only ourselves but everyone. I think, so that
Speaker 1: self awareness around how can I regulate and how can
Speaker 1: I manage me? And how do I you know, what's
Speaker 1: what's my I used to call it with my trainers.
Speaker 1: I used to have this term called your shit threshold,
Speaker 1: and your shit threshold is essentially how much work can
Speaker 1: you do? And specifically to my trainers, it was how
Speaker 1: many training sessions can you do per day before it
Speaker 1: turns to shit? So if you can only do three
Speaker 1: great sessions, then I don't want you to do four,
Speaker 1: right because everyone's paying the same So if they're not
Speaker 1: getting the same product, well they shouldn't be paying the
Speaker 1: same dough and they should be getting the same product.
Speaker 1: So stop at three. If you can do nine, well great,
Speaker 1: do nine, but don't do ten, you know. So I
Speaker 1: think that you know, burnout's real, exhaustions real, but understanding
Speaker 1: having that level of self awareness to know how do
Speaker 1: I best manage me? What do I need? Because it's
Speaker 1: great to be a servant, and it's great to have
Speaker 1: a purpose bigger than you, and it's great to be
Speaker 1: in that kind of transcendent self mindset, so you are
Speaker 1: of value and service and all that to others. But
Speaker 1: at the same time, if you're fucked, will you know
Speaker 1: good to anyone?
Speaker 2: Yeah? That's I guess that That lands with how I
Speaker 2: felt after coming back from that holiday, and it's probably
Speaker 2: a lot of what I went through as well, just
Speaker 2: going because every version of me was a service version
Speaker 2: of me in all the different ways that that is
Speaker 2: in the gym, out of the gym, online, on a podcast,
Speaker 2: So a very social filled life with no social focus
Speaker 2: for me because the version of me was one of
Speaker 2: these other service versions.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, and you figure out. Sorry, But like even
Speaker 1: with you know, even with podcasts, I guess you go,
Speaker 1: how many good podcasts can I do? And how many
Speaker 1: how many presentations can I do and how many you know,
Speaker 1: It's like sometimes when I get a gig, which is
Speaker 1: a whole day, I'm very aware of doing everything that
Speaker 1: I need leading up to that one day event so
Speaker 1: that I optimize my chances of being the absolute best
Speaker 1: version of me from minute one, because being switched on
Speaker 1: and focused and awesome for ten hours is almost impossible.
Speaker 2: This is a version of a conversation. I feel like
Speaker 2: we have a lot with people, but this has a
Speaker 2: very different flavor where we don't nourish ourselves, Like we
Speaker 2: don't put our own gas mask oxygen mask on first.
Speaker 2: Hopefully it's not a gas mask. Yeah, it's I think
Speaker 2: of the mums that we talk to that are burnt
Speaker 2: out and they're worrying about everybody else, and it's like
Speaker 2: you're doing it and you're and it's and you can't
Speaker 2: function at the best if you don't, if you don't
Speaker 2: have a little bamboo, bloody oasis, a little metropolis.
Speaker 1: Well, selflessness only works to the point where it kills you,
Speaker 1: or almost kills you. You know, it's like that's it's
Speaker 1: not kindness, it's self destruction after a while. It's a
Speaker 1: nice intention, but it's a terrible practice. It's it's nice
Speaker 1: to be nice, as I always say, but it's not
Speaker 1: nice to be a doormat. It's not nice to be
Speaker 1: a people pleaser. You know, you can be kind and
Speaker 1: a little bit terrifying, and you know all of that
Speaker 1: kind of how do I look after me so that
Speaker 1: you know, and even on a physiological level, you know,
Speaker 1: how do I optimize my physiology my sleep, my food,
Speaker 1: my energy, my exercise, my posture, my brain health, my
Speaker 1: all of that. How do I optimize that? So I
Speaker 1: can be a good leader. I can be a good teacher,
Speaker 1: I can be a good podcaster, I can be a
Speaker 1: good student. I could be a great parent. So I'm
Speaker 1: not a prick to be around because I get up
Speaker 1: every day and I'm four out of ten because I'm
Speaker 1: not sleeping well and I'm eating shit, and I'm not
Speaker 1: looking after my body and making bad decisions, and now
Speaker 1: my physiology is not good, and my psychology and my
Speaker 1: emotional system can't be optimal when it's living in a
Speaker 1: body that suboptimal, you know. And that's that, you know,
Speaker 1: back to that well worn verbal path of mind, that
Speaker 1: nothing operates in isolation. It's like mind, body, emotions, one system,
Speaker 1: not three. And so if you think that your mind
Speaker 1: doesn't affect your emotions, or your emotions don't affect your mind,
Speaker 1: or either of those things don't affect your body, you
Speaker 1: don't understand how the fuck you work. So it's how
Speaker 1: do I coregulate and co manage all of this stuff
Speaker 1: that equals me? You know? All right? So I wanted
Speaker 1: to among other things, well, we didn't we don't really
Speaker 1: plan with these, but I did want to talk to
Speaker 1: you about this idea that I thought would be good
Speaker 1: to just share with our listeners, because I think it's
Speaker 1: a very relevant Is it a skill? I guess it's
Speaker 1: a skill or ability, could be a trait could be
Speaker 1: all of that, And that is our ability to understand
Speaker 1: how others think, and perhaps more importantly, to understand how
Speaker 1: they communicate and what kind of communication works with them
Speaker 1: and for them. And the example that I gave to
Speaker 1: you before we went live was I said, you know,
Speaker 1: it's like with my dad, Because my dad is an
Speaker 1: eighty five year old man who was born in the
Speaker 1: first year of the Second World War, and he's seen
Speaker 1: a lot and been through a lot, and he's going
Speaker 1: through a bit right now and physically, mentally, emotionally, socially,
Speaker 1: my Dad's not me and I'm not him, and so
Speaker 1: he sees the world a certain way, and he communicates
Speaker 1: a certain way and thinks a certain way. And so
Speaker 1: because I want to have respect and trust and rapport
Speaker 1: and good communication and good connection with my dad, I
Speaker 1: need to speak Ron. I need to learn the Ron
Speaker 1: language right. And if I speak Ron to Mary my mum,
Speaker 1: it doesn't work. And if I speak Mary to Ron,
Speaker 1: it doesn't work. And I know how to make Mum
Speaker 1: feel good, and I know how to make Dad feel good.
Speaker 1: I know how to alleviate fear for Dad and reduce
Speaker 1: fear for Mom. If not alleviate, reduce fear for both
Speaker 1: of them. I know how to build connection quickly with both.
Speaker 1: And it's not the same way, you know, I know
Speaker 1: what will make Mum laugh or chuckle will annoy Dad.
Speaker 1: You know, there's certain language, believe it or not. I
Speaker 1: can be more what's the word unrefined? I guess around Mum.
Speaker 1: Mum's cool with it. Dad's not cool with it. Dad's
Speaker 1: more of a prude than Mum, right, which is cool.
Speaker 1: So there's certain stuff I would tell Mum that she
Speaker 1: would laugh at or be fine with, but I would
Speaker 1: not tell Dad because he would be uncomfortable with that. Right.
Speaker 1: So all this equals, you know, realizing that you know,
Speaker 1: the only person that looks through our windows us, the
Speaker 1: only person that has our absolute, unequivocal, one hundred percent
Speaker 1: of the time worldviews us. And so if I want
Speaker 1: to connect with Ron, I need to speak Ron. If
Speaker 1: I want to connect with you TIV versus Melissa, who
Speaker 1: also is a probably the most important part of the team.
Speaker 1: But the way that I would like and nothing even
Speaker 1: comes to mind. But let's say I had an issue
Speaker 1: with you, which I don't. But let's say if I
Speaker 1: had an issue with you, the way that I would
Speaker 1: go about talking to you about that issue would be
Speaker 1: different to the way that I would do it with Melissa,
Speaker 1: Because you guys are different. You have different personalities, you
Speaker 1: have different ways of communicating, you're you know, you and
Speaker 1: I are more alike than Melissa and I are alike
Speaker 1: in the sense that you're more of an extrovert than her,
Speaker 1: albeit not necessarily innately, but you're more extraverted these days
Speaker 1: because of what you do, and you and I are
Speaker 1: you know, probably have that cheekiness about us and all
Speaker 1: of that stuff that is not really Melissa. So me
Speaker 1: connecting with her is a matter of me understanding her,
Speaker 1: as it is with you. And so this this capacity
Speaker 1: to understand how other people think, which I've shared a
Speaker 1: lot already, which is called in psychology, it's called theory
Speaker 1: of mind, and theory of mind essentially speaks to this
Speaker 1: notion that we have an insight into the reality in
Speaker 1: the moment, the emotional slash psychological experiential reality of another human.
Speaker 1: And the reason that's important is because it is the
Speaker 1: underpinning of connection. So if you've got if you're talking
Speaker 1: to someone and you have no idea about them or
Speaker 1: what they think or how they think, or what their
Speaker 1: story is or what their experience is in the moment,
Speaker 1: then at the very best you're guessing. You're guessing, which
Speaker 1: is okay, because you know, even I'm guessing sometimes when
Speaker 1: I absolutely when the person in front of me is
Speaker 1: a clean slate to me, like, I've got no idea
Speaker 1: who I'm talking to. But what I'm trying to do
Speaker 1: is I'm trying to get data as quick as possible
Speaker 1: so I can figure the person out a little bit,
Speaker 1: you know. So I feel like that for you in
Speaker 1: your job, Like you've got your group tonight. I don't
Speaker 1: know how many have, doesn't matter, But let's say you've
Speaker 1: got ten. Then you've got ten personalities, You've got ten
Speaker 1: different people, You've got ten different expectations, ten reasons for
Speaker 1: being there. You know, ten people that are interpreting you
Speaker 1: differently in their own unique way. And then in the
Speaker 1: middle of that, you've got to talk for two hours
Speaker 1: or an hour and a half or whatever it is,
Speaker 1: and with these ten different people who have different reasons
Speaker 1: for being there and different personalities and different experiences of you.
Speaker 1: In the middle of that, you've got to think, how
Speaker 1: the do I create a version of optimal connection with
Speaker 1: all of them at once? Yeah, because they're all speaking
Speaker 1: a different language in inverted commerce.
Speaker 2: Yeah, i feel like I'm in the university of that
Speaker 2: right now because because I'm doing I'm collaborating, bringing that
Speaker 2: many people in and talking about the really deep stuff.
Speaker 2: And what's interesting is how much outside of that space
Speaker 2: it's changed the way I hear and experience interactions profoundly.
Speaker 1: That in the moment awareness that like this is you're teaching,
Speaker 1: but you're learning at the same time. Yeah, And like
Speaker 1: I am always thinking, how do I like last night,
Speaker 1: I have this. I was doing my group last night
Speaker 1: and I wanted to I did. This wasn't a presentation,
Speaker 1: but the theme of the night was So last night
Speaker 1: was week nine for my mentoring group, and next week
Speaker 1: obviously it's the last week, week ten, but the theme
Speaker 1: of the night was great ideas to build a life
Speaker 1: on right, and they were just you know, like ask
Speaker 1: intelligent questions. You know, there's a relationship between the quality
Speaker 1: of questions, quality of decisions subsequently, quality of action subsequently,
Speaker 1: and then the quality of outcomes. Like if the starting
Speaker 1: point is asking a question, then the better the question,
Speaker 1: the rest is also better, so to speak right then
Speaker 1: and so on. But one of the things I wanted
Speaker 1: to talk about, which I haven't spoken about a lot
Speaker 1: on here at all, not for any reason in particular,
Speaker 1: like I didn't try to avoid it. But I don't
Speaker 1: know why this will sound a bit weird, but I
Speaker 1: not even through working on it, but through I guess,
Speaker 1: through not consciously working on it, but through subconsciously having
Speaker 1: these moments of awareness and profound gratitude from experiences that
Speaker 1: I've had, people that I've met, situations that I've been in,
Speaker 1: And I spoke about going to South Africa and you know,
Speaker 1: spending time there years ago. I'm working with babies newborn
Speaker 1: through to five year olds who were either HIV positive
Speaker 1: or had full blown AIDS and you know, just that
Speaker 1: time that I spent there, and there's I could do
Speaker 1: a whole podcast on what that was like. But among
Speaker 1: many other insights, one of the insights I realized was,
Speaker 1: or one of the insights that I had, was that
Speaker 1: I am profoundly lucky that I was born when I
Speaker 1: was born, where I was born, to the parents I
Speaker 1: was born to, and I deserved none of it. I
Speaker 1: was just fucking lucky, Like I didn't deserve to be
Speaker 1: born into relative privilege, which I was. You know, we
Speaker 1: weren't rich by any means in Australian standards. We were
Speaker 1: fucking probably at bottom of the middle class, right, but
Speaker 1: compared to many, many, many people in the world. I
Speaker 1: was born into wealth, you know. And and I was
Speaker 1: thinking about, how do I talk about living with an
Speaker 1: attitude of gratitude without sounding naff or cheesy or cliche,
Speaker 1: because it's kind of cliche. But I thought, I'm just
Speaker 1: going to share with them some of my gratitude practices.
Speaker 1: And so can I share them with you now?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: Right, because just saying to people like, you know, we're lucky,
Speaker 1: we should be really grateful, it's like, yeah, yeah, sure
Speaker 1: we should, but cool, you know. And so I do
Speaker 1: three I do more things than this, but this is
Speaker 1: three of the things that I do every time that
Speaker 1: I get on the phone with my mum. Every time,
Speaker 1: every time, I'm overwhelmingly grateful because I know that those
Speaker 1: phone calls are going to stop. I know that there'll
Speaker 1: be a day where Mary won't pick up the phone
Speaker 1: and I have no fucking idea how I will cope.
Speaker 1: But that is not now, and there will come a
Speaker 1: time when I will probably do anything to have one
Speaker 1: more phone call, you know. But I can have the
Speaker 1: phone calls now, and so that whatever it is my
Speaker 1: higher self, that internal that whatever. I'm just like, I
Speaker 1: am so lucky that my mum answers the phone. I'm
Speaker 1: so lucky that I get to spend time with her
Speaker 1: and my dad. I would say, Dad, but Dad doesn't
Speaker 1: fucking answer the phone, right, right, right, But you know,
Speaker 1: and then there's and there's two other things that I do.
Speaker 1: Every time I come up the stairs at my house.
Speaker 1: Every time I see I say under my breath or
Speaker 1: out loud, thank you every time. And the reason I
Speaker 1: do it is because I can walk upstairs. I know,
Speaker 1: I know lots of people who either really struggle to
Speaker 1: walk upstairs, like our friend John Ye for whom it's
Speaker 1: or he can't walk upstairs. And then you know other
Speaker 1: friends that I have that quadriplegics or paraplegics that will
Speaker 1: never you know, like Joel, our friend Joel Sardi who's
Speaker 1: been on the podcast, who you've spoken with at events.
Speaker 1: I've spoken with Joel, We love you. You know, he
Speaker 1: doesn't have the option. And so the thing is that
Speaker 1: like I can get out of this chair that I'm
Speaker 1: in when we finish this, I can stand up, Like
Speaker 1: some people would give Nelli everything they own to be
Speaker 1: able to just stand up from a chair, and then
Speaker 1: take three steps and then five steps. Well, I don't
Speaker 1: even think about it. I just get up, I walk downstairs.
Speaker 1: I make my dinner. Right And speaking of downstairs, my
Speaker 1: last gratitude that I use a lot is that I
Speaker 1: turn on the tap and I say thank you. Because
Speaker 1: they don't know the exact number, but in terms of taps.
Speaker 1: But what I do know is that two point two billion.
Speaker 1: Get your head around that two point two billion people
Speaker 1: in the world do not have access to clean water.
Speaker 1: That's over a quarter of the people on the planet.
Speaker 1: Let alone have a fucking tap where they can just
Speaker 1: turn it on and I can. You know, it's like
Speaker 1: right over my head. It is an air conditioner and
Speaker 1: a heater. I can push a button and in a
Speaker 1: minute there's going to be cool air coming at me.
Speaker 1: I can push another button, it's going to be heat.
Speaker 1: I can walk downstairs. There's a fridge full of food,
Speaker 1: there's a pantry full of food. I can turn on
Speaker 1: a tap and there's cold water. I've got my choice
Speaker 1: of fucking showers in this house. You know, I'm privileged.
Speaker 1: And then, and I know I've kind of digressed, but
Speaker 1: I was talking to them about just how different is life.
Speaker 1: How amazing is the unamazing when you look through that lens,
Speaker 1: when you go, fucking hell, I can walk, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I can walk. I can walk, I can turn on
Speaker 1: a tap, I can talk to my mum. Fuck, how
Speaker 1: great are these things? You know? If you said to
Speaker 1: me a year after my mum's died, you can have
Speaker 1: six with your mom, or six days with your mom,
Speaker 1: or you can have your house in Hampton, I'll go, fuck,
Speaker 1: give me the six days, fuck the house. I'll figure
Speaker 1: it out. Give me the six days. Right, But I
Speaker 1: don't need to make that decision now. But I don't
Speaker 1: have the gratitude, Like, what is that about? Why do
Speaker 1: we have to wait till shit goes before we realize
Speaker 1: how fucking amazing what we already have is mind blowing.
Speaker 1: We have so much shit to be grateful and thankful for,
Speaker 1: but we look past all the good things to find
Speaker 1: that one thing that's not up to standard, and that's
Speaker 1: what we focus on.
Speaker 2: So when did you start that practice about what was
Speaker 2: the catalyst?
Speaker 1: About five or six years ago? I think before COVID,
Speaker 1: before COVID. Maybe it was around when John got hurt
Speaker 1: and I remember spending time with him and starting to
Speaker 1: train him. And I started training John, my friend everyone
Speaker 1: if you don't know, got blown up in an accident
Speaker 1: and you know, anyway, but I started training him in
Speaker 1: a wheelchair. He couldn't walk, he couldn't crawel, he couldn't
Speaker 1: do anything. And I just remember how hard it was
Speaker 1: for him to do things that for me, you know,
Speaker 1: something that for him was a fifteen out of ten,
Speaker 1: hard for me was a zero, and me feeling guilty.
Speaker 1: And then I realized guilt didn't serve me, so I
Speaker 1: switched it to gratitude, and then I just went, you know,
Speaker 1: and you know you've seen me work with him, and
Speaker 1: you know how much I love him, and like I
Speaker 1: have trained him now thousands of times over six years,
Speaker 1: and my overwhelming feeling towards him is gratitude that I
Speaker 1: am allowed to work with him, because he has done
Speaker 1: more for me in terms of gratitude and self awareness
Speaker 1: and joy and fulfillment and purpose maybe than any other
Speaker 1: work I've done in the last six years. You know
Speaker 1: that the work that I've done, and I will say,
Speaker 1: of course the crab has done with him, where you know,
Speaker 1: this person that just needed love and encouragement and support
Speaker 1: and people to believe in him. Now drives to the
Speaker 1: gym and walks into the gym. He doesn't walk the best,
Speaker 1: but he walks, and he walks with his sticks and
Speaker 1: he's a bit fucking wonky. But the wonky walk with
Speaker 1: the sticks is like an Olympic gold medal, all the
Speaker 1: gold medals compared to where he was and his prognosis,
Speaker 1: you know. And so for me, it's like, I truly
Speaker 1: I take nothing for granted. Well that's not true. I
Speaker 1: probably do that I'm unaware of. But you know, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for you. I'm grateful for Melissa. I'm grateful
Speaker 1: that I was, you know, lucky, I was born in
Speaker 1: the country I was born, and I live in a
Speaker 1: great area. You know, I'm touch would relatively healthy. You know,
Speaker 1: there's I always I've said this to Melissa many times.
Speaker 1: If I complain about my problem, my life punched me
Speaker 1: in the face because I'm the problem, you know, And
Speaker 1: you've heard me say that, And so I just think
Speaker 1: that that and that's that. You know that looking through
Speaker 1: that gratitude lens is you know, it's it changes our reality. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know. So anyway, that was a very long winded
Speaker 1: explanation of how I like to use metaphor and story
Speaker 1: to build connection, you know, but like when you open
Speaker 1: that door and you talk about your experience, like right now,
Speaker 1: I would think I could be wrong, but some of
Speaker 1: our audience would go like that affected them more or
Speaker 1: impacted them more or made them think more than if
Speaker 1: I just went Hey, research tells us that being grateful
Speaker 1: is really actually good for your life and for your
Speaker 1: mental and emotional health. You know. But when you goes so,
Speaker 1: here's part of my story or here's my insight, here's
Speaker 1: my experience. You know, as long as you're sharing that,
Speaker 1: you know, the idea or the concept or the strategy
Speaker 1: or whateverever it is, but it's in a way that
Speaker 1: resonates with people. Then, Like we were talking a minute
Speaker 1: ago about understanding how other people think. So not everyone
Speaker 1: is like this, but the majority of people connect more
Speaker 1: with story and humor than they do data, which is
Speaker 1: why you and I might get on here and talk
Speaker 1: about just our stories and our journeys and what's going on,
Speaker 1: and we're not presenting any fucking high level science, but
Speaker 1: people will stop you or stop me and go fuck.
Speaker 1: I love that episode, Like it's just it reminded me
Speaker 1: of this, or it made me feel that, or it
Speaker 1: brought these things up for me. And I think that's
Speaker 1: the when you can almost be a fly on the
Speaker 1: wall in someone's conversation and it's a real conversation. It's
Speaker 1: not a choreographed here's my question, what's your answer, here's
Speaker 1: my next question, what's your next answer? For me? That's
Speaker 1: which suits me because I'm too lazy to plan shit
Speaker 1: and script shit, so that suits me full disclosure. But
Speaker 1: you know, I think that's how people connect.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because we find our version of our story in
Speaker 2: what and other people's stories. When we shared our story
Speaker 2: on the mountain, there were five of.
Speaker 1: Us, and so people who don't know what you're talking about,
Speaker 1: who haven't listened, when we shared our version of our
Speaker 1: thing on the mountain, explained to them what you're talking about.
Speaker 2: So when I went to India on retreat, and on
Speaker 2: the first night there with the five other participants and
Speaker 2: the two facilitators, we shared our story and we shared
Speaker 2: really deep, deeply. Everybody in that room shared more than
Speaker 2: they ever shared, and not for the purpose of coaching,
Speaker 2: just for the purpose of connection. And every single one
Speaker 2: I could have said, you and me are the same,
Speaker 2: and we're completely different, completely different stories, completely different, but
Speaker 2: there were parts of each story where I just went
Speaker 2: you and me we're exactly the same. And it's amazing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is like we think we're so different, and
Speaker 1: in some ways we kind of are, but really at
Speaker 1: our core, we're all just on the path whatever. That
Speaker 1: might not be the same path, but that's kind of
Speaker 1: similar path. And yeah, think about what we have in common.
Speaker 1: Everyone wants to be safe, everyone wants to be happy,
Speaker 1: everyone wants to be loved, Everyone wants to be seen
Speaker 1: and connected and valued, and everyone wants a life that
Speaker 1: has some kind of purpose and reason, you know, And
Speaker 1: what all of those things look like all the individual
Speaker 1: will vary, but the motivation or the driver is the same.
Speaker 1: It's like, put up your hand if you want to
Speaker 1: be happy, well, fucking who's not putting up the hand,
Speaker 1: you know, it's just trying to figure out where that.
Speaker 1: Put up your hand. If you if you don't want
Speaker 1: to be anxious, all the hands, you know, put up
Speaker 1: your hand. If you want to be treated well and
Speaker 1: loved and valued and respected, all the hands you know,
Speaker 1: of course, And then I think it's just figuring out well,
Speaker 1: what does that mean for me? Where does that live
Speaker 1: for me? And what am I currently doing that is
Speaker 1: at odds with those things? I just put my hands
Speaker 1: up for or my hand up for, you know. And this,
Speaker 1: I guess comes back to the chat that I the
Speaker 1: solo chat that I did three or four weeks ago.
Speaker 1: I think the episode was called Intentional Living, which is
Speaker 1: just about, you know, literally designing your life as much
Speaker 1: as it can be designed. You know, it's like, well,
Speaker 1: where do you want to work, what do you want
Speaker 1: to do? What you know? What kind of health state
Speaker 1: do you want to have? What kind of body do
Speaker 1: you want to live in? Do you want to do
Speaker 1: you want to live in the country? Do you want
Speaker 1: to live in the city? Do you want to Are
Speaker 1: you a creative? What does that look like? What are
Speaker 1: you going to do with your creativity? Do you want
Speaker 1: to optimize your talent? Do you want to waste your talent?
Speaker 1: Do you want to? And what is optimizing your talent
Speaker 1: look like? And what's the data telling you now? Like?
Speaker 1: What what results are you currently producing that are good
Speaker 1: and fucking terrible and somewhere in between, and you know
Speaker 1: the terrible ones. Do you want to do something about
Speaker 1: that how will you do it? What's your plan? What's
Speaker 1: your accountability? What happens when you're not motivated? You know,
Speaker 1: all those kind of fundamentals of like it's all well
Speaker 1: and good to listen to you and me, and it's
Speaker 1: all well and good to go to self help, whatever's
Speaker 1: read books and you know, but there comes a point.
Speaker 1: I've been saying this to my group for nine weeks
Speaker 1: now that doing a mentoring program with me is not
Speaker 1: the answer, which sounds of course. The answer is what
Speaker 1: you do as a result of these sessions. The answer
Speaker 1: is you. The answer is your work. The answer is
Speaker 1: your courage, The answer is your choices. The answer is
Speaker 1: your ability to keep fucking doing what you haven't kept
Speaker 1: doing up until now, because that like the work is
Speaker 1: just the work, and listening to a podcast is cool
Speaker 1: and easy, but the ship we need to do is
Speaker 1: not always cool or easy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, listening to a podcast, you get the info and
Speaker 2: it can land, but then you quickly move on and
Speaker 2: nothing changes. Or like the the idea of sitting with
Speaker 2: and pondering the things that then applying them to your life,
Speaker 2: like listen to what some of the things that is
Speaker 2: tken about on a podcast and actually going and workshopping
Speaker 2: it and coming back and having conversations and coming back
Speaker 2: and doing work around that. Like, I think that there's
Speaker 2: all the information in the world in podcast yours mine,
Speaker 2: and people probably far smarter and more evolved than both
Speaker 2: of us combined.
Speaker 1: That the information he hate steady on hurtful, hurtful.
Speaker 2: But I mean, I've gone and listened over my life,
Speaker 2: gone and listened to a stack of podcasts. But that
Speaker 2: doesn't make the change happen. It might make you realize things,
Speaker 2: but until you sit, give yourself some space, have conversations
Speaker 2: and speak out loud sometimes to somebody, and workshop something,
Speaker 2: you can't even begin to put it into action.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, what was interesting when you came back from India?
Speaker 1: You know, it is just that you were energetically and
Speaker 1: that term much but fuck it, it's the right word.
Speaker 1: You were energetically different, not pretending to be different. I'll
Speaker 1: look at me, I'm zen, this is me acting. No,
Speaker 1: you were actually I'm like, oh, that's impressive, and like,
Speaker 1: my I don't know if I should say this on
Speaker 1: a podcast. I'm just going to say it. My question
Speaker 1: was it wasn't a doubt, but my question was I
Speaker 1: wonder if she can kind of maintain that, because that's
Speaker 1: that's a big shift. And I would ask that of
Speaker 1: myself too. If I went away and I came back
Speaker 1: and I was like, I'd had a bit of a
Speaker 1: profound or somewhat profound time, which you did, I think,
Speaker 1: then the challenge is, yeah, is how do I kind
Speaker 1: of and of course you're going to have peaks and
Speaker 1: troughs and you're going to be a human, But how
Speaker 1: do I kind of maintain this? And then because I'm
Speaker 1: not sitting on a mountain, I'm not in India, I'm
Speaker 1: not having those dn ms with those beautiful people. I'm
Speaker 1: back in the fucking city with the pollution and the
Speaker 1: traffic and that dickhead in the car next to me
Speaker 1: who called me a prick because I rode my motorbike
Speaker 1: between two cars and it I nearly hit his mirror.
Speaker 2: So I have my own I'm immersed in my own
Speaker 2: perception of that at the moment, but I would love
Speaker 2: to know from the outside looking in, what how much
Speaker 2: of that experience do you see or feel that I've
Speaker 2: held or maintained over the last month.
Speaker 1: I think most of it, you know, and I think
Speaker 1: it's without trying to be too like it's a bit
Speaker 1: of a juggling act, this kind of this path of
Speaker 1: whatever we want to call it. But I reckon your journey.
Speaker 1: And I don't say shit like this much on this show.
Speaker 1: But I think your biggest I've never even told you this.
Speaker 1: I'm telling you this for the first time in front
Speaker 1: of thousands of people. I think your biggest growth in
Speaker 1: the next year will be spiritual, not psychological, sociological, emotional,
Speaker 1: or physical. You will probably change in all of those areas,
Speaker 1: But for me, the spiritual path is, you know, like
Speaker 1: gratitude is a spiritual practice kindness, having a transcendent experience
Speaker 1: of life where you've got genuinely a purpose bigger than
Speaker 1: you and I you know, you know me, I've always
Speaker 1: been somewhat spiritual, like the spiritual guy who says fucking cunt, right,
Speaker 1: you know. But it's like at least people know what
Speaker 1: they're getting, Like I'm not trying to be the Dalai Lama,
Speaker 1: and yes I am my number one value in life love,
Speaker 1: but I am also a cunt sometimes I'm not trying
Speaker 1: to be. But am I ever addicted? Do I ever
Speaker 1: get trapped in my own bullshit? Or ego. Yes I do.
Speaker 1: But at least with me, you will know what you're
Speaker 1: getting because I am not going to pretend i'm something
Speaker 1: I'm not. Right.
Speaker 3: When I fuck up, I'll go I fucked up, my fault, right.
Speaker 3: But back to you, I think that, yeah, I genuinely
Speaker 3: see like shift in you and that like I think
Speaker 3: for you, part of the.
Speaker 1: I don't know that like all right, so this is
Speaker 1: really what I think, which I don't know if this
Speaker 1: is the forum. Do you want to know what I
Speaker 1: really think?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I do.
Speaker 1: So. I think I think part of your apprehension around
Speaker 1: deep connections with humans that's starting to melt away a
Speaker 1: little bit. And I think that's spiritual growth. I don't
Speaker 1: think that some shift in psychology or emotion, perhaps emotion
Speaker 1: a little, but I think it's something deeper than that.
Speaker 1: And I think that you know, as you and I
Speaker 1: don't necessarily mean romantic connections. It could be, but just
Speaker 1: that intimate relationships, those intimate relationships with people, And by
Speaker 1: intimate I mean close, like I have intimate relationship with
Speaker 1: my mum. You know, it's just means in this context,
Speaker 1: I'm talking about close, very familiar, like you would pretty
Speaker 1: much do anything for those people. So I see that
Speaker 1: shifting in you. I see less ego in you right
Speaker 1: where you don't need people's approval as much as you
Speaker 1: did because and this is probably psychological growth, but you
Speaker 1: are more comfortable and confidence than you were right when
Speaker 1: I first met you. You were very unsure, very uncertain,
Speaker 1: which is like that was quite a long time ago now,
Speaker 1: but there's been a real shift in all of those things,
Speaker 1: and you know, it's growth, it's growth, and there of
Speaker 1: course you know, and you know, and I know that
Speaker 1: there have been moments where you and I have had
Speaker 1: a fucking three minute well we've never really even clashed,
Speaker 1: but we've had a few moments where you've gotten bothered
Speaker 1: about something or I've gotten bothered about something and there
Speaker 1: was a brief moment. But there's probably been I don't know,
Speaker 1: two or three moments in six years, and those moments
Speaker 1: didn't last very long. But the thing is, you know,
Speaker 1: we're always going to be working around each other, as
Speaker 1: in I mean us humans working around each other and always,
Speaker 1: you know, It's like I did a podcast three or
Speaker 1: four days ago called I'm wrong, and just that not
Speaker 1: only the willingness, but the I guess the want to
Speaker 1: be able to go, oh, I'm wrong, I got that wrong.
Speaker 1: I did that wrong. I am the problem with this
Speaker 1: particular thing. I'm not always the problem, but with this
Speaker 1: I was the problem. And look, I get what you
Speaker 1: were saying, and that was my fault. I'm sorry. And
Speaker 1: I think that you know, when you get past and
Speaker 1: I don't mean you, I mean all of us. But
Speaker 1: when you get past the need to be right and
Speaker 1: the need to look good, and the need to win
Speaker 1: an argument and the need to be seen as smart,
Speaker 1: that one that is very fucking liberating, because that's a
Speaker 1: heavy emotional and psychological burden to carry, that you've got
Speaker 1: to be right all the time and you've got to
Speaker 1: know all the time. I used to think that. But
Speaker 1: then also the add on benefit that you don't think
Speaker 1: will like what you think will happen is once you
Speaker 1: open this door of vulnerability, you know, people are going
Speaker 1: to know how fucked in the head you are, and
Speaker 1: people are just going to vanish in reality. They go,
Speaker 1: oh my god, thank you. I do that too. I'm
Speaker 1: a version of you. I'm an overthinker, I'm a self doubter,
Speaker 1: I'm a self loath I'm a self saboteur. Not all
Speaker 1: the time, but sometimes, And oh my god, thank you
Speaker 1: because the bloke who's hosting the podcast or the girl
Speaker 1: who's hosting the podcast is essentially me in a different role.
Speaker 1: And that's you know, that's back to coming full circle
Speaker 1: to where we started. That's how you build connection as well.
Speaker 2: M I love that. I love that feedback. Twice twice
Speaker 2: I got goosebumps. And one was when you said spiritual
Speaker 2: because I don't know why, but I got goosebumps all over.
Speaker 2: And the second one was when you said, I can't
Speaker 2: remember what you framed it, but burned. Remember I burned
Speaker 2: on the mountain with the letting go rich or one
Speaker 2: of the things I wrote down and burned was the
Speaker 2: need for everyone else to believe in me. And that's
Speaker 2: what you mentioned, so that, yeah, I'm.
Speaker 1: Very aware of my you know, my numerous faults and
Speaker 1: all of that. That's good to be able to do that,
Speaker 1: but also it's good to go but you know what, Harps,
Speaker 1: you're okay, though you're okay. You know, you're not the
Speaker 1: best person, but you're not a bad person. It's all right,
Speaker 1: you know. And I think that that being able to
Speaker 1: and I have found that because there's no there's no
Speaker 1: bigger critic in the world of me than me. Like
Speaker 1: I'm very hard on. Like I might do a gig,
Speaker 1: that I might do a presentation that other somebody might go, well, fuck,
Speaker 1: that was amazing. That was a nine out of ten.
Speaker 1: I'm like, nah, that was a six. Here's five things
Speaker 1: I could have done better. You know, I have that propensity,
Speaker 1: and I'm trying to deal with that. But I think,
Speaker 1: you know, just quickly as we wind up that you
Speaker 1: know that I think when you use the term spiritual,
Speaker 1: people get confused or scared or freaked out or weirded out.
Speaker 1: And so you know, oh, here's something I've never told
Speaker 1: you about. Five years ago or four years ago, I
Speaker 1: sent a message to ten of my friends. I did
Speaker 1: this as a little project. And ten of my friends
Speaker 1: who are either you probably remember this, but they're either
Speaker 1: pastors in churches or their rabbis, or they are you know,
Speaker 1: the their Buddhists, or their Muslims or the you know,
Speaker 1: they are people who are you know it, potentially in
Speaker 1: a role of leadership in some spiritual and or religious capacity.
Speaker 1: And I said to them, all of them, can you
Speaker 1: please write in your words, without doing any research or
Speaker 1: looking any thing up or repeating anything that you've wrote learned.
Speaker 1: I don't want you to repeat something that you got
Speaker 1: trained to say. I want, in your words, in your understanding,
Speaker 1: to tell me what spirituality is. And every single one
Speaker 1: of those people said something fucking different, and a lot
Speaker 1: of them were absolutely miles apart. I'm not saying right wrong,
Speaker 1: good bad. I'm like, you know what, spirituality is a
Speaker 1: slippery construct, and it can be mumbo jumbo's kind of bullshitty,
Speaker 1: I think, And I think some people like to put
Speaker 1: on the metaphoric caftan and fucking wear the DreamCatcher and
Speaker 1: put that in the window and fucking clang their symbols
Speaker 1: so they look like they're whatever you know to me.
Speaker 1: To me, the more spiritual people act to me, that's ego.
Speaker 1: To me, that's ego, that's look at me. I want
Speaker 1: you to think I am like this, Well that's not
Speaker 1: you know, it's to me to me like real like.
Speaker 1: And again, I'm not advocating anything here. I'm just speaking
Speaker 1: to my background. But my background is in you know,
Speaker 1: in Christianity and church, right, I'm not advocating that. I'm
Speaker 1: just sharing, but I've read the Bible front the back
Speaker 1: many times, and because there was a time where I
Speaker 1: was deeply invested, deeply, deeply, right, But you know, even
Speaker 1: in and there are you know, there's wisdom in the
Speaker 1: Qur'an and the Talmud and the bugger Vita. I think
Speaker 1: it's called I fucked that up, but you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, And of course the Old Testament New Testament,
Speaker 1: and there are a plethora of insights and wisdoms even
Speaker 1: in the writings of the Stoics, right, But there's a
Speaker 1: lot of commonality, and that says, you know, keep it
Speaker 1: under wraps. Like if you're out there beating your chest,
Speaker 1: you know, that's that's not God, that's not human, that's
Speaker 1: not kindness, that's ego. That's look at me, I need attention.
Speaker 1: That's It's like that joke I made. I did a
Speaker 1: humility workshop on the weekend. Oh how'd you go? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I was the best. And when I say that, people
Speaker 1: don't even fucking up. I'm like, that was irony, Right,
Speaker 1: that's the I did a humility workshop. I crushed it.
Speaker 1: That's the opposite of yeah, oh okay, you know which
Speaker 1: kind of it's sad when you've got to explain your
Speaker 1: own terrible Joe. But you know, one of my favorite
Speaker 1: scriptures in the in the New Testament, it is essentially
Speaker 1: this is the paraphrase version, and it depends which translation
Speaker 1: you read, But if you read King James, which is
Speaker 1: the there Tho or New King James, which is a
Speaker 1: modernized version of that, it says, you know, when you
Speaker 1: give to the poor, don't let your left hand know
Speaker 1: what your right hand's doing. And so when you do
Speaker 1: a kindness, it always says, do it in secret. Don't
Speaker 1: tell anyone, like don't you don't need accolades, you don't
Speaker 1: need approval, you don't need attention. And I believe, and
Speaker 1: this is just my belief in terms of the spiritual
Speaker 1: growth and the spiritual benefit, which is the wrong that's
Speaker 1: the wrong word, but it's just for this. The moment
Speaker 1: that you talk about it, you lose it, right, Like,
Speaker 1: if you're doing good stuff, just do the good stuff.
Speaker 1: Just do the good stuff. You don't need to tell people.
Speaker 1: You don't need to whatever. You know, I'm not saying
Speaker 1: I never mentioned it, but in general terms, because if
Speaker 1: there is a god or a higher power or a
Speaker 1: divine or whatever, if there's an intelligence and a love
Speaker 1: and an energy that's bigger than us. I say, if then,
Speaker 1: then that's where our reward will come from. That's where
Speaker 1: that energy that you know, whatever. But even then, but
Speaker 1: even then, you know, I think it's it's to do
Speaker 1: that even because we think we're going to get something back. Well,
Speaker 1: that's not love either. That's transactional. Yeah, like love is
Speaker 1: not transactional. Love has no expectations. Love doesn't give wanting something.
Speaker 1: And if you give wanting something in return, that is
Speaker 1: not love. That is not kindness, that is not service.
Speaker 1: That is a negotiation of sorts, you know. And now
Speaker 1: everybody's asleep, and now everybody's like, I'm never listening to
Speaker 1: this shit again. But there you go, tip Hey.
Speaker 2: One of the things when you were talking about the religions,
Speaker 2: one of the things that I found really beautiful about
Speaker 2: one of the monuments in India, probably all of them,
Speaker 2: but one that we were getting shown ag Refort, and
Speaker 2: in the architecture, in the design, our tour guide pointed
Speaker 2: out all the different religion symbols were all incorporated in
Speaker 2: this one place, and wow, and it was so beautiful,
Speaker 2: all of them. I don't know, like he's talked about heaps.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't even know where to begin, but more than
Speaker 2: the Christianity, yes, And you just pointed them all out
Speaker 2: and it was like, Wow, I didn't think a place
Speaker 2: like this would exist. That's so beautiful.
Speaker 1: I love that that convergence of different theologies and philosophies.
Speaker 1: And you know, for me, that is our spiritual wisdom.
Speaker 1: Is like you know, you think, just on a human
Speaker 1: level and on a psychology level, there's twelve major religions
Speaker 1: in the world, and there's over four thousand minor religions,
Speaker 1: and right and almost every religion major online the.
Speaker 2: Is a religion.
Speaker 1: No, we're a cult. We're a cult, bro where an
Speaker 1: out loud and proud cult. But there's going to be
Speaker 1: no routing behind closed doors. There's going to be no
Speaker 1: ripping off of money. We're a transparent cult. We don't
Speaker 1: want your money or your loins, so keep it all
Speaker 1: to yourself, right. We just want we just want love.
Speaker 1: We just want love and connection. But what I was
Speaker 1: going to say was who uses loins anyway?
Speaker 4: But could you stop saying, well it's like generic for
Speaker 4: all right, Well, I'm just telling people what we don't want,
Speaker 4: So no, one gets confused.
Speaker 1: Anyway. What I was going to say is all of
Speaker 1: these religions independently think they are the one. Yeah, I know,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of other religions, but we're the right one.
Speaker 1: We're the one with the you know. And again that's
Speaker 1: that's an interesting thing too, because there's so much you know,
Speaker 1: thought that goes around that that's a belief system, that's
Speaker 1: a cult of thought. Like it's when you you know,
Speaker 1: I grew up in a Catholic church and then I
Speaker 1: went to a non denominational fundamental born again Christian Church.
Speaker 1: Now they're both under the banner of Christianity, but you
Speaker 1: couldn't have two more different, two more different cultures or
Speaker 1: ways of interpreting the Bible. Or it's like, yeah, the
Speaker 1: same text, but oh my goodness, in you know, like
Speaker 1: so in fundamental Christianity, for example, the foundation scripture from
Speaker 1: the New Testament is John three point sixteen, which says,
Speaker 1: for God so loved the world that he gave, He's
Speaker 1: only begotten the son that whosoever believes in him would
Speaker 1: not perish but have eternal life. Right, And that gets
Speaker 1: gently rammed down your throat all the time, which is cool.
Speaker 1: I never heard that scripture in Mass. In Catholic Church,
Speaker 1: never heard it. And in Catholic Church you are not
Speaker 1: encouraged to read the Bible. Well we weren't. I never
Speaker 1: was anyway, that's my experience. You were encouraged to listen
Speaker 1: to the priest because he knows right and he's God's guy. Right,
Speaker 1: But then when you go and read the Bible. So
Speaker 1: now I'm going in I'm in this other church. Right,
Speaker 1: it says, well, there's one mediator between God and man, right,
Speaker 1: or one person, And it doesn't say that's the Catholic priest.
Speaker 1: It says the actual Bible says there's one mediator between
Speaker 1: God and man, and that's Jesus Christ. That's in the
Speaker 1: New Testament. Right, So, like what is funny is and
Speaker 1: I'm this is not meant to be a religious conversation.
Speaker 1: This is more about interpretation and psychology and culture and programming.
Speaker 1: And it's like wherever you go, they're going to teach
Speaker 1: you that they're right and the others are wrong. And
Speaker 1: that's not just in religion. That's in politics, that's in sport,
Speaker 1: that's in exercise cults, that's in food cults, that's in
Speaker 1: social cults. That's in amway, that's in you know, multi
Speaker 1: level marketing across the oild. Well, you know, pa. But
Speaker 1: like consciousness is, or the beginning of consciousness is one
Speaker 1: to recognize your own lack of consciousness, but two to
Speaker 1: be able to extract yourself from a cult of thought
Speaker 1: that you've been part of and be okay and comfortable
Speaker 1: with going yeah, I don't agree anymore, or I don't
Speaker 1: think that, or I've thought for myself and this is
Speaker 1: what I think now, rather than just adopting someone else's
Speaker 1: truth or adopting just because of the situation you're in,
Speaker 1: you know. So anyway, maybe we'll do a whole show
Speaker 1: on cult cults of thought because that's a thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's so fucking interesting, Like you think when you grow
Speaker 1: up in a mind, like if you grew up in
Speaker 1: mom and dad were Buddhists and they were vegans undoubtedly
Speaker 1: until you were probably eighteen and maybe forever you would
Speaker 1: be a Buddhist vegan. Right, you're not going to be
Speaker 1: a ten year old who's no, I'll go on a
Speaker 1: mass and eating cow while mom and dad meditating at
Speaker 1: the Buddha Center and having fucking you know, soy and
Speaker 1: tofu or whatever it is. Right, so you become a
Speaker 1: byproduct without choosing. You become a version of them unconsciously.
Speaker 2: I'd love to let's do that, let's pencil that chat
Speaker 2: in because I would love to unpack that more.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Cool, all right, at six o'clock, you've got some
Speaker 1: work to do. Gotta go, bro, all right, see Bro,
Speaker 1: see everyone, bros and bros of fines