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Speaker 1: Appoche production.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to Secrets of the Underworld. I am Neil the

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Speaker 2: Muscle comments and in this episode, I speak with Carla Bonner,

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Speaker 2: the Neighbour's star, whose real life was more dramatic than

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Speaker 2: the show.

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Speaker 1: On the day that my father died, I went to

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Speaker 1: him and said that my dad's died, and then he

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Speaker 1: says to me, what are you telling me for, I'm

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Speaker 1: not your dad and hung up on me. I walked

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Speaker 1: in and Jans took Baba off me, threw the script

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Speaker 1: at me and said, do the best with that you can.

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Speaker 3: So that's what you call a cold read.

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Speaker 1: I got a fan mail one day from a nurse

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Speaker 1: in the UK who was my age.

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Speaker 3: She said, I just wanted to thank you.

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Speaker 1: She said, when I saw Steph check her breast and

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Speaker 1: find a lump, I checked my breast and found a lump,

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Speaker 1: and long story short, I've just finished radiation treatment and

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Speaker 1: you saved my life.

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Speaker 2: Calibonna, how are you.

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Speaker 1: I'm really good.

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Speaker 2: Thank you for coming on to my podcast. Yeah, I

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Speaker 2: really appreciated. Before we get into it, I just let

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Speaker 2: everyone know you. You know, you're best known for playing

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Speaker 2: Stephanie Scully on Neighbors for over twenty years. Yeah, you

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Speaker 2: got on and off like wow, yeah, pretty big. But

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Speaker 2: we'll get into that later because I want to get

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Speaker 2: to know you as a person before. You know, how

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Speaker 2: you got started in the acting role and all like that,

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Speaker 2: and what your first job was, and how you went

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Speaker 2: through school and all like that.

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Speaker 1: So I reckon you were popular at school, do you?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Uh? When I was at school, You're like me, send

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Speaker 1: up for lessons. I did have friends, Yeah, I was.

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Speaker 1: If you asked my sister, yeah, she would say, yeah,

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Speaker 1: Carlo was the popular girl because she wasn't was that

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Speaker 1: sibling rivalry?

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Speaker 3: Yeah I did.

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Speaker 1: I didn't have trouble making friends. I did move around

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Speaker 1: a lot.

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Speaker 2: Because you're originally from Perth year.

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Speaker 1: No, I'm not. I'm originally from Melbourne.

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Speaker 2: Oh really, why does it say perf then why is

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Speaker 2: it saying.

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Speaker 3: Because I went to Perth?

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Speaker 2: Ah, so originally a Melbourne girl? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, born and bread. Wow, and I was in Perth

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Speaker 1: for two and a half years only. But okay, that

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Speaker 1: was the journey of it of its own. Okay, that

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Speaker 1: was pretty big.

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Speaker 2: All right, Well, tell me about you growing up then,

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Speaker 2: your family, brothers and sisters.

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Speaker 1: Yes, so I grew up with my mom single mom

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Speaker 1: and sister yep, and my father was in Sydney.

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Speaker 3: Was wanted to make it as a muso in Hong

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Speaker 3: Kong and.

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Speaker 1: Back in the day that was where you made as

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Speaker 1: a roster and he was great muso, but he was

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Speaker 1: an interested in family. Yeah, it was mum and my sister.

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Speaker 1: That was been seventies years so that's yea. And his

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Speaker 1: name was vitch Old Nichingievich and he wanted to make

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Speaker 1: it in Australia as a rock star in Hong Kong,

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Speaker 1: so he changed his name to Peter Bonner.

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Speaker 3: So it's really my surname is.

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Speaker 1: Really yeah, yeah, wow. I was actually going to say,

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Speaker 1: you didn't tell you that, didn't know.

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Speaker 2: I was actually going to say to you, do you

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Speaker 2: have Irish like background or something for Bonnet?

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Speaker 3: That's why I was asking, Yeah, no, that's made up name.

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Speaker 2: Wow, And you kept it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well it's on my birth certificate.

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Speaker 2: Okay, it's a lot easier to say.

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Speaker 1: And then and then I guess everybody thinks that I'm

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Speaker 1: related to Tony Bonner Skippy and yeah, so I've sort

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Speaker 1: of answered to that or you know, the whole my

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Speaker 1: whole career. Are you Tony wonders daughter. Wow, and he

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Speaker 1: gets to you, Carlbon, his dad.

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Speaker 2: Was that difficult growing up, you know, not even a

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Speaker 2: father figure there.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Like, as I've got older and I've done a

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Speaker 1: lot of the healing work, and I've you know, I've

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Speaker 1: discovered all the ways that my poor little inner child

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Speaker 1: was so wounded and so hurt.

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Speaker 3: And acting out.

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Speaker 1: But my father he ended up having a kidney failure

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Speaker 1: and he needed a kidney transplant, and so he was

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Speaker 1: on dialysis and he got the transplant and then the

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Speaker 1: body rejected the kidney and they ended up giving him

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Speaker 1: blood transfusions and contaminated him with aides Oh wow, and

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Speaker 1: he got full blown and he was dead within six months.

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Speaker 1: And he was one of the first five documented cases

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Speaker 1: in Australia. So I was twelve at the time and

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Speaker 1: that started this whole.

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Speaker 2: Did you understand that that that was.

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Speaker 3: At the time where we had the Grim Reaper commercials.

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Speaker 1: I don't know you were in the UK obviously, but

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Speaker 1: we had the Grim Reaper commercials with scary dark where

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Speaker 1: they're bowling balls down the alley and just knocking people out.

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Speaker 1: So it was this terror campaign. So all I had

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Speaker 1: to go by was that and it was. It was terrifying,

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Speaker 1: it was shameful, and you'd keep it quiet and yeah.

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Speaker 3: So he died when I was twelve.

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Speaker 2: And were you Were you close to him at that time?

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Speaker 1: No, no, No, I didn't spend a lot of time

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Speaker 1: with him at all. Like I have a memory of

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Speaker 1: being on the back of his motorbike. And he was

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Speaker 1: into scientology as well. So my memory is we went

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Speaker 1: to the Sydney Opera House and I was about eight

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Speaker 1: and I bumped my head on the opera house and

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Speaker 1: he's like, quick, quick.

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Speaker 3: Quick, put your head back on the spot. So he

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Speaker 3: put my head.

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Speaker 1: It's like the pain transference, like, so go back into

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Speaker 1: stone or whatever it is. But he yeah, scientology it

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Speaker 1: was you know, it was pretty wicked. So no, not

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Speaker 1: a whole lot to do with him, Yeah, but.

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Speaker 3: Very affected when he died.

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Speaker 1: Very would be yeah, yeah, yeah, because it was Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean, growing up with this belief that I wasn't wanted,

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Speaker 1: that I wasn't important enough.

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Speaker 3: That I was unworthy, you know, like played out big time.

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Speaker 2: It was that the same way with your sister too.

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Speaker 1: He was so my sister has a different dad.

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Speaker 2: Oh okay, but it was did you used to see

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Speaker 2: that though when you're growing up that she had a

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Speaker 2: different were they close?

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Speaker 1: Look, he was a raging, alcoholic and abusive, but I

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Speaker 1: called him dad. I ended up calling him dad. But

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Speaker 1: then on the day that my father died, I went

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Speaker 1: to him and told him. I called him and said

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Speaker 1: that my dad's died. And then he says to me,

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Speaker 1: what are you telling me? I'm not your dad and

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Speaker 1: hung up on me. So this twelve year old kid

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Speaker 1: just copped it like this day, tenth of January, it

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Speaker 1: was yeah, just bang Bank just smacked me around on

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Speaker 1: this day. So it was brutal and there's been a

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Speaker 1: lot of pain and a lot of suffering, a lot

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Speaker 1: of self infliction, and but yeah, I've come out the

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Speaker 1: other side of it, and it was pretty crazy. But

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Speaker 1: my mom didn't have much control over me. So I

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Speaker 1: was the one, you know, like I was. I was

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Speaker 1: like the mum as well, but I was also this

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Speaker 1: rebellious kid who had criminal boyfriend and the prisons all

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Speaker 1: of the Victoria, like you know, and my mom would

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Speaker 1: have One day, my mum had either the cops or

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Speaker 1: the prison guard call her and say, what is your

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Speaker 1: daughter doing in this scene? And she doesn't belong in

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Speaker 1: this scene, and he was Greek Macedonian. And my mom

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Speaker 1: would say to me, stop talking like that. I didn't

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Speaker 1: raise you to speak like that. And I'd be like,

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Speaker 1: speak log what mate, what are you talking about? I

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Speaker 1: don't know what you're talking about? Who knows? You'd be

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Speaker 1: like my dad's and I was just.

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Speaker 3: Like doing my own thing. No one could tell me anything.

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Speaker 2: So do you reckon you were a rebellent because of

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Speaker 2: the way you were brought.

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Speaker 1: Totally, I had no boundaries.

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Speaker 3: Mum tried to implement them in her way.

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Speaker 1: I suppose I had no boundaries, so I did what

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Speaker 1: I wanted, which was not good. That's not good for

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Speaker 1: a kid. They need boundaries to feel safe, to feel secure.

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Speaker 2: So what got you out of that? Then? Well been boyfriends?

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Speaker 1: The next question what got me out of it was

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Speaker 1: there was a time where I was also a save

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Speaker 1: I used to save people. I mean, it's a really

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Speaker 1: beautiful quality, but it's really not good. You know, people

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Speaker 1: are on their own paths and you've got to let

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Speaker 1: them be them and do them.

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Speaker 3: And there was this one girl.

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Speaker 1: We lived around the corner from the Commission Flats and

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Speaker 1: there was this girl there who was nineteen.

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Speaker 3: She was pregnant.

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Speaker 1: She had a week to go, and I went into

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Speaker 1: her home and there was this bassinette, this lonely cradle

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Speaker 1: in the middle of the room, and there were cock croaches,

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Speaker 1: and I'm just like So I went home to Mum

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Speaker 1: and said, can we keep her? Can they come and

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Speaker 1: move in with us? Please? Can they come and live

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Speaker 1: with us, because you know? And Mom said yes, So

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Speaker 1: they came and moved in with us. But she was

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Speaker 1: a raging pill proper and a junkie, and she had

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Speaker 1: the baby, and then she kind of you know, when

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Speaker 1: she had the baby, she rejected bubbs. He was a

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Speaker 1: withdrawal baby. He was in the nursery and she couldn't

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Speaker 1: get up. She had a migraine, I guess because she

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Speaker 1: was withdrawing from drugs.

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Speaker 3: For she couldn't get up.

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Speaker 1: So I'd go in there and Mom would go in there,

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Speaker 1: and then they came home. I was getting up for

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Speaker 1: him during the night.

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Speaker 3: I was fifteen years old.

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Speaker 1: I was getting up for him during the night because

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Speaker 1: she wouldn't wake up for him, so Mom and I

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Speaker 1: would be doing it. And then she disappeared. I was worried, sick,

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Speaker 1: like I was walking the streets looking for her because

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Speaker 1: I knew she couldn't look after this baby.

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Speaker 3: And then I found her.

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Speaker 1: And on this day I found her, I was going

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Speaker 1: to babysit another friend's child who had cerebral palsy, and

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Speaker 1: I said to her, come with me.

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Speaker 3: So she came with me, and we.

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Speaker 1: Slept on a modular couch and she positioned him in

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Speaker 1: his little cocoon. And I woke up the next morning

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Speaker 1: to this blue baby in my face and she's screaming

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Speaker 1: at me, going Carla, what's wrong with him? And shaking

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Speaker 1: him and he was right here, and like, I jumped

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Speaker 1: up and got the marty's parents and they did CPR,

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Speaker 1: and anyway, he died. And it became quite dangerous because

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Speaker 1: she was very volatile and became threatening and started accusing

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Speaker 1: me of killing the baby and like all of this

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Speaker 1: sort of stuff. So Mum just got us out of

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Speaker 1: this area and went to a much nicer area. But

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Speaker 1: you know that I think was the point where all

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Speaker 1: that sort of activity came to an end, because it

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Speaker 1: just became really dangerous.

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Speaker 3: You know, I was mixing with mixing with.

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Speaker 1: Gangsters, and I was mixing, you know, like.

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Speaker 2: I was from the EA, like fifteen, that's it.

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Speaker 1: But all the while, like I always knew that, I

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Speaker 1: always still even though I'm doing all of this stuff,

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Speaker 1: I still have this dream that I was gonna be

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Speaker 1: a actress. Well, so you did have that dream really,

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Speaker 1: So I mean all of these experiences as tormenting as

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Speaker 1: they were at the time, and like for my mother,

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Speaker 1: what I would have put her through, it's been you know,

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Speaker 1: like I've got this whole body of experience of polarity,

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Speaker 1: you know, like really enriching, really wow, big, big, big,

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Speaker 1: so many, so many stories in that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, but yeah, like that that's insane what

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Speaker 2: you're saying, Like what you've had to grow up with,

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Speaker 2: like the situations that you've been through at an early age.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, it's crazy, isn't it. Yeah, I guess

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Speaker 1: the resilience. And then it's been through resilience. You know,

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Speaker 1: You've got to be careful with resilience because you can

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Speaker 1: really harden your heart. So it's been a real process

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Speaker 1: for me of unprogramming the programming, to reprogram the program

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Speaker 1: and really getting down into the core of what of

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Speaker 1: the pain of the her it and really dissolving it,

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Speaker 1: but then also being very aware of it because it

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Speaker 1: always it's always in there.

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Speaker 3: You don't completely get rid of it.

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Speaker 2: Have you ever like sack back and realized what you

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Speaker 2: went through.

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Speaker 1: As a kid isn't that interesting, right, Like because you

246
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Speaker 1: just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

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Speaker 1: Just keep moving on, just keep moving on. But then

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Speaker 1: I did. I started writing my book, like I know,

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Speaker 1: my book, and when you're collating all of the stories

250
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Speaker 1: and you're like, that's a lot, you know, that's a lot.

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Speaker 1: But for me it was normal, and you know, I

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Speaker 1: didn't know any different. So other people go, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: But for me, it's.

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Speaker 2: Like, well, yeah, yeah, but that's like to tell me

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Speaker 2: that you brought in, you know, a mother who's a

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Speaker 2: junkie and baby just and you didn't really know them,

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Speaker 2: so but you wanted to care for them, bring them in,

258
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Speaker 2: And then you're getting off for this person's baby. It's

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Speaker 2: not even your baby, and you're only fifteen years old.

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Speaker 2: Why should you be doing it?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, because I just had this overwhelming.

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Speaker 2: So you've missed out on these teenageers.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I did. I mean I had my own

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Speaker 1: version of teenage years. But that's not really healthy version, no,

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Speaker 1: And I wonder how different my life would be if

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Speaker 1: I did have that's safer.

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Speaker 2: You know, it was colorful. Were you the only one

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Speaker 2: like that in your house who was like kinda like that?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he's still like that taking strangers since the house.

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Speaker 1: It just comes to strangers podcasts And.

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Speaker 2: What was your first job?

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Speaker 3: Okay?

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Speaker 1: I was twelve, twelve years old, yeah, and I wanted

275
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Speaker 1: to help mum payboard.

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Speaker 3: So I got a job at this pizza shop.

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Speaker 1: It was kitchen hand slash, making pizzas as well five

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Speaker 1: dollars an hour I was getting.

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Speaker 3: She was good money, I guess back in the day.

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Speaker 1: But then this guy was a creep, the owner, and

281
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Speaker 1: he would always like he knew I couldn't handle touching Anchovyes,

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Speaker 1: so anytime there was a pizza that had to be

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Speaker 1: have anchovies, he'd.

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Speaker 3: Get me to make it.

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Speaker 1: But I'd also go in early and I'd play Atari, Yes,

286
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Speaker 1: Space Invaders and Galaga anyway or bubble bounce bobble bobble

287
00:13:09,361 --> 00:13:12,441
Speaker 1: bobble bobble anyway. I was sitting there and then this

288
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Speaker 1: creeps behind the desk and he goes, hey, carlor ever

289
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Speaker 1: seen a twelve inch dick? And I'm like no, no,

290
00:13:19,721 --> 00:13:21,521
Speaker 1: like this, and I'm playing my game and he's like,

291
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Speaker 1: have a look, have a look, I'll show you, and

292
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Speaker 1: I'm like no, And I was just like freezing, and

293
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Speaker 1: like he kept it up for a bit.

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Speaker 3: I would never get away with that now.

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Speaker 1: No worse, he kept it up and then he goes,

296
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Speaker 1: look at this and it was a knife sharpener and

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Speaker 1: it actually had twelve inch dick on it. That was

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Speaker 1: and he thought it was hilarious and I didn't, and

299
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Speaker 1: I was freaked out.

300
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Speaker 3: So I got my friend. I asked him my friend could.

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Speaker 1: Work there with me, and he said, yeah, but you

302
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Speaker 1: have to split your pay, okay. So I worked for

303
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Speaker 1: two dollars fifty an hour just so I could have

304
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Speaker 1: my friend there to work with me. So it was

305
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Speaker 1: safety in numbers, you know, twelve years old, yeah, twelve,

306
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Speaker 1: I know, what are you for?

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Speaker 2: Twelve years old?

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Speaker 1: Oh? No? Right? That only really just dawned on me.

309
00:14:03,161 --> 00:14:05,961
Speaker 1: It's like, shit, that was really good at two dollars fifty.

310
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Speaker 1: So anyway, then I would I'd give my money for board.

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Speaker 2: What about you know, if a sister was she doing

312
00:14:12,681 --> 00:14:15,361
Speaker 2: anything like this or she didn't, like, why do you

313
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Speaker 2: sound like you're the only kid in the house. Is

314
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Speaker 2: trying to do everything.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because my sister I was like the older kid

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Speaker 1: who had it all together. I was strong willed, and

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Speaker 1: I was very intelligent, and I was street wise as well.

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Speaker 3: So Mum, as much as she.

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Speaker 1: Did worry, she didn't have to worry because she knew

320
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Speaker 1: I could take care of myself. My sister, on the

321
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Speaker 1: other hand, with a whole different kettle of fish like

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Speaker 1: that was she had her own trauma go on and

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Speaker 1: her own ship that then the focus became on her.

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Speaker 1: So I was like I was one that was just

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Speaker 1: sort of not much attention needed else she had her

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Speaker 1: own set of stuff.

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Speaker 3: It was heavy.

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Speaker 2: You know, now we've seen that your first job as

329
00:14:54,041 --> 00:14:57,081
Speaker 2: to what was what was your first job as a

330
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Speaker 2: young adult, what was that before you got into acting.

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Speaker 1: Well, I was in year ten. I got expelled and

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Speaker 1: for what surprised really. I got expelled because they tried

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Speaker 1: to say that I was too intelligent to be at

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Speaker 1: the school that most of the students there were trying

335
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Speaker 1: to learn English to speak English, let alone English literature.

336
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Speaker 1: And I was at a school where I was one

337
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Speaker 1: of two skips. We'd call them, Have you ever spot

338
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Speaker 1: the Aussie?

339
00:15:25,161 --> 00:15:25,681
Speaker 3: And they were.

340
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Speaker 1: All Greek, Italian, Turkish, Asian, and they used that excuse.

341
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Speaker 2: Doesn't you usually your real sir name.

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Speaker 1: You really got on with them exactly, so thank you now.

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Speaker 1: And I then tried another school, a community school that sucked.

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Speaker 3: Then I went, I'm going to go to work. I'm

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Speaker 3: going to go and work. First I went and worked

346
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Speaker 3: in a crash because I loved kids. I was magnet.

347
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Speaker 1: That was really good. I left there and I went

348
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Speaker 1: and worked in a clothing store and I'm like, this sucks.

349
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Speaker 1: And I did a photography course at Tape. That whole

350
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Speaker 1: year I spent out in the real world. This sucks.

351
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Speaker 3: I'm going back to school.

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Speaker 1: So I went back to school the next year and

353
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Speaker 1: I said, look, I've done year ten. I haven't done

354
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Speaker 1: you eleven, but I'd like to do year twelve. And

355
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Speaker 1: I'm sixteen but I was fifteen, so they let me dodgy.

356
00:16:13,161 --> 00:16:15,201
Speaker 1: And then that was a year I just started like

357
00:16:15,321 --> 00:16:17,921
Speaker 1: I'd mixed with friends and we were smoking weed before

358
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Speaker 1: school and you know, like so then I'm in class,

359
00:16:21,241 --> 00:16:24,121
Speaker 1: like the teacher's like, color, what's going on with you?

360
00:16:24,161 --> 00:16:25,201
Speaker 3: And I'm like, what do you mean?

361
00:16:25,681 --> 00:16:27,681
Speaker 1: What do you mean? And so my friend and I

362
00:16:27,681 --> 00:16:31,681
Speaker 1: if we caught eyes. You know, we're both smashed. I

363
00:16:32,001 --> 00:16:35,721
Speaker 1: just lose it, lose it. And so anyway, I was

364
00:16:35,801 --> 00:16:39,761
Speaker 1: determined to finish school, but I failed that year, less

365
00:16:39,801 --> 00:16:40,201
Speaker 1: to say.

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Speaker 3: And then at the end of that year I moved

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Speaker 3: to Queensland.

368
00:16:43,641 --> 00:16:45,561
Speaker 2: Just like that, school.

369
00:16:45,281 --> 00:16:47,041
Speaker 1: Moved to Queensland. Why would you want to be in

370
00:16:47,041 --> 00:16:49,721
Speaker 1: Melbourne with that crappy boy? Well you've ever been there before? Yeah,

371
00:16:49,841 --> 00:16:52,441
Speaker 1: because my grandparents lived up there, So I'd been to

372
00:16:52,481 --> 00:16:55,681
Speaker 1: Queensland a lot. But with my boyfriend, my new good boyfriend,

373
00:16:55,881 --> 00:16:58,041
Speaker 1: good boyfriend. Yeah, yeah, that's cool. So yeah, we made

374
00:16:58,041 --> 00:17:00,001
Speaker 1: the move to Queensland. As soon as we got there.

375
00:17:00,361 --> 00:17:03,361
Speaker 1: I wanted, I mean, I had champagne taste at that age,

376
00:17:03,561 --> 00:17:05,880
Speaker 1: want to be a budget. I wanted to live in

377
00:17:05,881 --> 00:17:09,440
Speaker 1: these villa units and we had a pool and tennis

378
00:17:09,481 --> 00:17:11,321
Speaker 1: courts and everything. But it meant I had to go

379
00:17:11,360 --> 00:17:12,720
Speaker 1: and get a job straight away. So I got a

380
00:17:12,761 --> 00:17:15,921
Speaker 1: job at New Zealand Natural ice Cream across from Surface Paradise.

381
00:17:16,681 --> 00:17:20,360
Speaker 1: Again another creepo. Yet to wear short little netball skirts

382
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:23,120
Speaker 1: and climb under the counter to get out from in

383
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Speaker 1: and out.

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Speaker 3: Of the shop, right man.

385
00:17:26,360 --> 00:17:29,680
Speaker 1: Anyway, we lasted three months there because I found that

386
00:17:29,961 --> 00:17:32,561
Speaker 1: all of my pay was going straight into rent because

387
00:17:32,561 --> 00:17:35,880
Speaker 1: rent was so expensive. I wasn't living again. It was like,

388
00:17:35,961 --> 00:17:38,321
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm just working to pay the rent.

389
00:17:39,241 --> 00:17:41,400
Speaker 1: I also found out that I failed that year twelve,

390
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:45,281
Speaker 1: and so we came back to Melbourne and I went

391
00:17:45,281 --> 00:17:47,801
Speaker 1: into school again, went to a different community school, this

392
00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:49,921
Speaker 1: time up in the Daninong Rangers.

393
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Speaker 3: Went to this.

394
00:17:51,001 --> 00:17:54,600
Speaker 1: Community school and I only needed six months to be

395
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:58,561
Speaker 1: able to get the units I needed, and then fell pregnant.

396
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:03,801
Speaker 1: So I was seventeen, and so I had all intentions

397
00:18:03,801 --> 00:18:06,760
Speaker 1: of going on from there to go and study acting

398
00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:08,921
Speaker 1: and doing all of that, and that kind of put

399
00:18:08,961 --> 00:18:12,840
Speaker 1: that plan on hold. So even though I was young,

400
00:18:13,281 --> 00:18:15,080
Speaker 1: I just felt that this was my path, this is

401
00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:18,121
Speaker 1: what I'm meant to do. And so yeah, I had

402
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:22,801
Speaker 1: my baby. I was eighteen, and then he did but

403
00:18:22,921 --> 00:18:30,321
Speaker 1: I dumped him. Yeah, I mean like I can look back,

404
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:31,321
Speaker 1: I can reflect and go.

405
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,080
Speaker 3: Oh there was the wounding, Oh yeah, yeah.

406
00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:33,440
Speaker 2: Yeah.

407
00:18:33,481 --> 00:18:34,881
Speaker 1: I think it was, you know, a thing of I'm

408
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,080
Speaker 1: going to leave you so you don't, but it was

409
00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:40,640
Speaker 1: also a thing if we were kids and he suddenly

410
00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:42,201
Speaker 1: started behaving like a real kid.

411
00:18:42,281 --> 00:18:44,160
Speaker 3: I had his baby and suddenly he wants me to.

412
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:46,440
Speaker 1: Act like his mother and make his sandwiches for school

413
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:48,961
Speaker 1: work and things like that, and I'm like, I'm Harley's mom,

414
00:18:49,041 --> 00:18:50,961
Speaker 1: I'm not your mom. And I just couldn't deal with it.

415
00:18:51,001 --> 00:18:52,641
Speaker 2: Was that half you they'd be in a single mom.

416
00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:55,241
Speaker 1: Well, I had a lot of support from mum, and

417
00:18:56,041 --> 00:18:58,001
Speaker 1: his dad was in the picture. Still, he didn't have

418
00:18:58,041 --> 00:19:00,600
Speaker 1: to take off. After a year, I met someone else

419
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:03,480
Speaker 1: and so he stepped in. He was amazing, So I

420
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:04,681
Speaker 1: wasn't really.

421
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:08,360
Speaker 3: Single, single mum. So I just did it again.

422
00:19:08,721 --> 00:19:10,561
Speaker 2: It was just what did you think at that time

423
00:19:10,561 --> 00:19:12,841
Speaker 2: when you had when you had your baby, that your

424
00:19:12,921 --> 00:19:14,281
Speaker 2: dream of being an actress was gone?

425
00:19:14,321 --> 00:19:17,600
Speaker 1: Then no, just put on hold. I'll just get this

426
00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:20,480
Speaker 1: boy established in the world and then I'll pick it

427
00:19:20,561 --> 00:19:23,080
Speaker 1: up again. So when he was three, I did, and

428
00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:26,480
Speaker 1: I started studying just around the corner here, actually, I

429
00:19:26,521 --> 00:19:29,200
Speaker 1: started doing extra work and studying acting. And then I

430
00:19:29,241 --> 00:19:32,681
Speaker 1: got picked up by an agent. They would they were scouting,

431
00:19:33,041 --> 00:19:35,961
Speaker 1: and so I was with an extras agency and then

432
00:19:36,120 --> 00:19:39,400
Speaker 1: this yeah, this agent was scouting, came to our class

433
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:40,641
Speaker 1: one night and picked me.

434
00:19:40,561 --> 00:19:42,161
Speaker 3: Out and said come join us.

435
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:45,960
Speaker 1: So I did that, and he had big dreams for

436
00:19:46,041 --> 00:19:48,161
Speaker 1: me and this was going to be amazing. And then

437
00:19:49,721 --> 00:19:51,680
Speaker 1: he yeah, had all these plans, and then I'm like,

438
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:55,401
Speaker 1: I'm pregnant again, so he's like, damn, damn.

439
00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:57,001
Speaker 3: So I had my second baby.

440
00:19:57,481 --> 00:20:01,201
Speaker 1: And then when Jai, my second baby, was eighteen months,

441
00:20:01,681 --> 00:20:05,281
Speaker 1: I was going on a playdate and the voice to

442
00:20:05,321 --> 00:20:08,120
Speaker 1: me because I just had new headshots done. Take your

443
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:10,600
Speaker 1: head shots to your agent. Take the new ones. Just

444
00:20:10,681 --> 00:20:12,640
Speaker 1: divert a bit off the track. And I went to

445
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:16,241
Speaker 1: my agent's office, had Buba with me, walked up the stairs,

446
00:20:16,321 --> 00:20:19,160
Speaker 1: walked in. She's on the phone. Her mouth dropped open.

447
00:20:19,321 --> 00:20:22,681
Speaker 1: She went, Carlabon has just walked through the door. And

448
00:20:23,201 --> 00:20:25,001
Speaker 1: because I didn't have a mobile phone in those days,

449
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:26,921
Speaker 1: the olden days, and she said.

450
00:20:26,961 --> 00:20:27,600
Speaker 3: She got off the phone.

451
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:30,641
Speaker 1: She said, Jan Russ wants to see you immediately. They

452
00:20:30,761 --> 00:20:36,041
Speaker 1: need to urgently recast a character that's been with the shows.

453
00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:38,880
Speaker 1: The family have been shooting for six weeks. She's just

454
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,401
Speaker 1: pulled the pin and she can't do it. They need

455
00:20:40,441 --> 00:20:42,160
Speaker 1: to recast. So I went across town.

456
00:20:42,521 --> 00:20:43,001
Speaker 3: Saw Jan.

457
00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:46,720
Speaker 1: Jan's this legendary beautiful woman who's given so many people

458
00:20:46,721 --> 00:20:50,840
Speaker 1: an opportunity, like Kylie, Jason, Guy all of these people amazing.

459
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:55,400
Speaker 1: I walked in and Jan's like, ah, baby, took Bubba

460
00:20:55,481 --> 00:20:58,041
Speaker 1: off me, threw the script at me and said, do

461
00:20:58,120 --> 00:20:59,960
Speaker 1: the best with that you can. So that's what you

462
00:21:00,001 --> 00:21:03,321
Speaker 1: call a cold read. Yeah, I was just like doing

463
00:21:03,321 --> 00:21:05,240
Speaker 1: this cold read. And then the next day I got

464
00:21:05,241 --> 00:21:07,480
Speaker 1: the call to say, you've got a callback. Comeing too

465
00:21:07,521 --> 00:21:10,720
Speaker 1: the studio. You're doing a scene with the Sisters screen

466
00:21:10,761 --> 00:21:13,840
Speaker 1: sisters went into the studios did that scene. I remember

467
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:17,561
Speaker 1: I was so nervous that I imagine myself putting all

468
00:21:17,561 --> 00:21:19,880
Speaker 1: my nerves in this bag and doing it up, leaving

469
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:22,961
Speaker 1: it at the front gate, and then walked in did

470
00:21:22,961 --> 00:21:24,921
Speaker 1: it because I'm like, no one knows me, I can

471
00:21:24,961 --> 00:21:28,561
Speaker 1: be whoever. But I came in, I did it, connected

472
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:30,641
Speaker 1: with the girls. The next day I got the call

473
00:21:30,721 --> 00:21:33,920
Speaker 1: to say, you've got the job, a three year contract.

474
00:21:34,041 --> 00:21:37,641
Speaker 1: So our lives had completely turned around within three days, right,

475
00:21:37,721 --> 00:21:40,481
Speaker 1: So they said come in. They handed me a pile

476
00:21:40,521 --> 00:21:44,601
Speaker 1: of scripts this high. They said you start tomorrow morning.

477
00:21:45,001 --> 00:21:49,240
Speaker 1: You've got nineteen scenes at six am. Developed the character

478
00:21:49,321 --> 00:21:52,880
Speaker 1: of Steph. By then this was four pm the day before.

479
00:21:52,961 --> 00:21:56,121
Speaker 1: I had nineteen scenes. For my first day, I had

480
00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:59,720
Speaker 1: to reshoot everything that this other actor had shot. But

481
00:21:59,761 --> 00:22:03,400
Speaker 1: it was nineteen scenes every day for six weeks. So

482
00:22:03,561 --> 00:22:07,520
Speaker 1: it was just wild. But I had a really amazing memory.

483
00:22:08,721 --> 00:22:10,360
Speaker 2: Did you know at the time how big the show was.

484
00:22:11,241 --> 00:22:15,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, you did, But I'd also said I'm not gonna

485
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:21,160
Speaker 1: be on neighbors, I'm gonna do film. Were nervous. I

486
00:22:21,321 --> 00:22:23,521
Speaker 1: just hit the ground running. Yeah, of course I would

487
00:22:23,521 --> 00:22:26,640
Speaker 1: have been, for sure, but I just hit the ground running.

488
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:30,440
Speaker 1: And Jackie Woodburn, who played Susan Kennedy, she said to me, oh,

489
00:22:30,521 --> 00:22:32,680
Speaker 1: if you can do this, you can do anything. Really,

490
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:37,360
Speaker 1: Trial by Fire, Sinkle Swim. One of my fondest memories

491
00:22:37,481 --> 00:22:39,041
Speaker 1: was the first day in there and I'm standing in

492
00:22:39,041 --> 00:22:40,681
Speaker 1: the green room and I'm looking at all these people

493
00:22:40,721 --> 00:22:44,400
Speaker 1: who were like I'd seen for so many years. Jackie

494
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,001
Speaker 1: Woodburn I loved her because she was on a ride

495
00:22:46,001 --> 00:22:47,640
Speaker 1: being a commercial that I grew up with, and she

496
00:22:47,801 --> 00:22:50,081
Speaker 1: was that mother figure that I was just like, oh,

497
00:22:50,201 --> 00:22:50,921
Speaker 1: I love her.

498
00:22:51,201 --> 00:22:52,641
Speaker 3: So when I saw her, I was a bit in aar.

499
00:22:53,281 --> 00:22:56,640
Speaker 1: I hear, who's this slut? And I turn around and

500
00:22:56,640 --> 00:23:03,960
Speaker 1: it's In Smith, who plays Harold really and as his humor. Okay,

501
00:23:04,120 --> 00:23:06,720
Speaker 1: So that was my welcome and I just had the

502
00:23:06,721 --> 00:23:09,921
Speaker 1: best family and in the show in real life as well,

503
00:23:09,921 --> 00:23:12,520
Speaker 1: but in the show and I had this real family.

504
00:23:12,561 --> 00:23:16,321
Speaker 3: I had a mom and a dad, sister's brother, dog, home,

505
00:23:16,761 --> 00:23:17,561
Speaker 3: like all of.

506
00:23:17,521 --> 00:23:21,561
Speaker 2: This for com planes and Stephanie did that because you've

507
00:23:21,561 --> 00:23:24,240
Speaker 2: played it for so long? Did it become real? Sometimes?

508
00:23:24,721 --> 00:23:28,761
Speaker 1: Sometimes I thought the writers were following me. Who's writing

509
00:23:28,801 --> 00:23:29,441
Speaker 1: about my life?

510
00:23:29,481 --> 00:23:29,680
Speaker 2: You know?

511
00:23:29,801 --> 00:23:29,961
Speaker 1: Yeah?

512
00:23:29,961 --> 00:23:32,041
Speaker 2: Because I Actually it's funny you say that because you

513
00:23:32,120 --> 00:23:35,121
Speaker 2: started off as a courier in the show. Yeah. Then

514
00:23:35,120 --> 00:23:37,801
Speaker 2: you went to a barmaid yea. Then you went to

515
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:38,441
Speaker 2: a mechanic.

516
00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:39,321
Speaker 1: Yeah.

517
00:23:39,441 --> 00:23:41,600
Speaker 2: Then you went to a manager of Harold's shop, so

518
00:23:42,321 --> 00:23:46,960
Speaker 2: did I yes. Then you went to owner of Robinson's motel. Wow,

519
00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,561
Speaker 2: So you've actually taken over neighbors on every day, on

520
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:52,281
Speaker 2: every you know, and they're also manager of a store.

521
00:23:52,281 --> 00:23:56,161
Speaker 1: And then you took over a co owner of Robinson's motel.

522
00:23:56,481 --> 00:23:58,721
Speaker 3: And the only female that Paul Robinson didn't get a

523
00:23:58,761 --> 00:24:03,161
Speaker 3: leg over. Yeah, she did a lot.

524
00:24:03,241 --> 00:24:05,721
Speaker 1: She did a lot. They really used steph to raise

525
00:24:05,761 --> 00:24:08,561
Speaker 1: awareness for a lot of topics and issues, and it

526
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:11,481
Speaker 1: was great because she was such a solid, real character,

527
00:24:11,681 --> 00:24:13,840
Speaker 1: you a real relatable human.

528
00:24:14,281 --> 00:24:16,840
Speaker 2: But she's also been through a lot. Like your list

529
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:18,920
Speaker 2: of what you've been through, I've got this off Google.

530
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:23,801
Speaker 2: So so I got breast cancer. Yeah, so then that

531
00:24:23,961 --> 00:24:24,400
Speaker 2: was wild.

532
00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:26,640
Speaker 1: Can I just say I got a fan mail one

533
00:24:26,721 --> 00:24:29,160
Speaker 1: day from a nurse in the UK who was my age.

534
00:24:29,241 --> 00:24:31,600
Speaker 1: She said, I just want to thank you. She said,

535
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:35,121
Speaker 1: I didn't think I was at the age, but when

536
00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:37,160
Speaker 1: I saw staff check her breast and find a lump,

537
00:24:37,961 --> 00:24:39,921
Speaker 1: I checked my breast and found a lump. And long

538
00:24:39,961 --> 00:24:42,441
Speaker 1: story short, I've just finished radiation treatment and you saved

539
00:24:42,481 --> 00:24:42,801
Speaker 1: my life.

540
00:24:42,961 --> 00:24:43,241
Speaker 2: Wow.

541
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,801
Speaker 3: And I'm like, oh my god, that was just amazing.

542
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:49,721
Speaker 4: Sorry, go on, You're also pregnant on the show a

543
00:24:49,761 --> 00:24:54,041
Speaker 4: couple of times, yes, involved in a stabbing, yeah, view,

544
00:24:54,241 --> 00:25:01,841
Speaker 4: prison kidnapping yea. And what's the one psychosis? Bisexuality redemption.

545
00:25:01,961 --> 00:25:05,441
Speaker 4: She's been through a lot, she has could go.

546
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:06,121
Speaker 2: Through that much.

547
00:25:08,441 --> 00:25:11,281
Speaker 1: Death. I mean, at the point I got really disappointed

548
00:25:11,801 --> 00:25:14,360
Speaker 1: in what they'd written for her was the point where

549
00:25:14,441 --> 00:25:17,881
Speaker 1: she hooked up with Libby's husband. Libby's side of bed

550
00:25:18,001 --> 00:25:21,321
Speaker 1: was barely it was so warm, you know, and Steph's

551
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:25,080
Speaker 1: jumped him and fell pregnant and then wrote Tody in

552
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:26,801
Speaker 1: to say it's his baby and.

553
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:30,641
Speaker 2: When that happened, like he's that was like nothing against him,

554
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:32,160
Speaker 2: but it's like he overachieved.

555
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:38,681
Speaker 1: Also left Steph at the altar as well, because they'd

556
00:25:38,681 --> 00:25:40,801
Speaker 1: attempted to get married a couple of times.

557
00:25:40,521 --> 00:25:42,561
Speaker 2: But he didn't look like his tape. Nah.

558
00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:43,721
Speaker 3: Well, he wasn't STEP's type.

559
00:25:43,761 --> 00:25:45,840
Speaker 1: But then if you look at the guys that they

560
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:48,600
Speaker 1: got for Steph and even the women they bought him

561
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:51,440
Speaker 1: for Steph, it was like, I never, ever, not once

562
00:25:51,921 --> 00:25:54,281
Speaker 1: did I get to do a chemistry test with anyone,

563
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:58,001
Speaker 1: which I found really strange because everybody else did chemistry

564
00:25:58,041 --> 00:25:59,281
Speaker 1: tests with their guest.

565
00:25:59,521 --> 00:26:01,160
Speaker 2: So how'd you go about doing a chemistry test that

566
00:26:01,201 --> 00:26:02,640
Speaker 2: was up and what do you have to do for that?

567
00:26:02,681 --> 00:26:04,961
Speaker 1: Well, you audition them. You auditioned the actor that comes

568
00:26:05,201 --> 00:26:08,561
Speaker 1: to go for the role. Oh okay, and so you

569
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:12,201
Speaker 1: see if there's chemistry between us, but okay. The first

570
00:26:12,281 --> 00:26:15,480
Speaker 1: lesbian lover that Steph had was a fabulous actress. She

571
00:26:15,561 --> 00:26:17,321
Speaker 1: was great, and she was gorgeous and she was all

572
00:26:17,321 --> 00:26:21,120
Speaker 1: of those things. I'm not gay, so I didn't have

573
00:26:21,120 --> 00:26:25,160
Speaker 1: any attraction, but it was easy to play it because

574
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:25,600
Speaker 1: she was great.

575
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:28,281
Speaker 3: She was great actress. Then there was another one that.

576
00:26:28,281 --> 00:26:30,161
Speaker 2: You'd be the dominant one in it, wouldn't you so great?

577
00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:30,561
Speaker 3: The alpha?

578
00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:39,721
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, no, I'm just saying, why did you leave

579
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:40,761
Speaker 2: after eleven years?

580
00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:45,440
Speaker 1: Because my second son was hitting teens and I knew

581
00:26:45,481 --> 00:26:47,961
Speaker 1: what Harles had gone through, not that he went through

582
00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:50,961
Speaker 1: trauma and stuff, but he needed me those in those

583
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:54,201
Speaker 1: years and I wasn't there. The show took me away

584
00:26:54,241 --> 00:26:57,561
Speaker 1: from my kids so much, and so I just really

585
00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:02,001
Speaker 1: felt ready to become a mundane mum for a while.

586
00:27:02,281 --> 00:27:04,521
Speaker 1: Do the mundane things, is what I should say. Yeah,

587
00:27:04,561 --> 00:27:08,480
Speaker 1: not mondays, you could never be. But yeah, so I

588
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:10,720
Speaker 1: just really wanted to spend time with my kids. I

589
00:27:10,761 --> 00:27:13,240
Speaker 1: know you hear that a lot, but this was the truth. Like,

590
00:27:13,321 --> 00:27:15,761
Speaker 1: I just really wanted to be there for Ji.

591
00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:17,521
Speaker 2: Was there a bit of you that was a little

592
00:27:17,521 --> 00:27:20,441
Speaker 2: bit over, Like eleven years was a lot for you? Yeah?

593
00:27:20,481 --> 00:27:24,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, dynamics had shifted going to work. I wasn't jumping

594
00:27:24,241 --> 00:27:30,360
Speaker 1: out of bed anymore to work freaking egos and narcisistic coworkers, colleagues,

595
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:32,400
Speaker 1: and it was it was a viber change.

596
00:27:33,321 --> 00:27:35,201
Speaker 2: Everyone's ego had gone a bit higher than what it.

597
00:27:35,201 --> 00:27:37,321
Speaker 1: Used to be. Yeah, Like you know, if you this

598
00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:41,201
Speaker 1: industry is fraught with insecurity, like everyone's so we're all

599
00:27:41,241 --> 00:27:44,121
Speaker 1: wounded anyway, we're all walking wounded unless you actually turn

600
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:45,640
Speaker 1: in would and become very aware of you.

601
00:27:45,761 --> 00:27:49,080
Speaker 2: Is that a nasty industry? Yeah, but with even with

602
00:27:49,120 --> 00:27:51,600
Speaker 2: your co workers, Like I see it in other industries,

603
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:53,761
Speaker 2: and I can see that some people are jealous of

604
00:27:53,921 --> 00:27:56,961
Speaker 2: you getting one upon them, or you getting the lead role,

605
00:27:57,041 --> 00:27:59,361
Speaker 2: or this is going good for you. Is it like that?

606
00:27:59,521 --> 00:28:01,521
Speaker 3: Look it can be, and for me it certainly was.

607
00:28:01,561 --> 00:28:03,960
Speaker 1: But I was the one that was like looking at others,

608
00:28:03,961 --> 00:28:06,801
Speaker 1: going don't I get? Why don't I get? But I

609
00:28:06,961 --> 00:28:09,440
Speaker 1: was getting. I just wasn't seeing it. Yeah, And I

610
00:28:09,521 --> 00:28:13,481
Speaker 1: was sabotaging. I was in like I had these incredible opportunities,

611
00:28:13,921 --> 00:28:16,721
Speaker 1: but because I was quite unconscious of what was going

612
00:28:16,721 --> 00:28:19,720
Speaker 1: on to me deep down, like the unconscious stuff, I

613
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:24,041
Speaker 1: was sabotaging so many opportunities. So then I was looking

614
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:28,600
Speaker 1: at others instead of looking inward, you know. And so yeah,

615
00:28:28,681 --> 00:28:30,960
Speaker 1: I can say that, No, that was me doing that,

616
00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:33,400
Speaker 1: and I'm sure that other people do that, but that

617
00:28:33,561 --> 00:28:36,761
Speaker 1: was hugely part of I didn't feel because I felt

618
00:28:36,761 --> 00:28:39,361
Speaker 1: like an impostor because of you know, the brief stuff

619
00:28:39,361 --> 00:28:42,001
Speaker 1: that you've just heard about like if they knew really

620
00:28:42,081 --> 00:28:44,121
Speaker 1: who I am, then I wouldn't be here.

621
00:28:44,161 --> 00:28:46,801
Speaker 2: Did anyone know about like your past and what you've

622
00:28:46,841 --> 00:28:47,281
Speaker 2: gone through?

623
00:28:47,441 --> 00:28:52,441
Speaker 1: No? No, because I was, Yeah, that was all quite shameful. Yeah,

624
00:28:52,481 --> 00:28:53,881
Speaker 1: I think I just held a lot of shame because

625
00:28:53,881 --> 00:28:56,761
Speaker 1: of just I knew shame. I knew it to keep

626
00:28:56,761 --> 00:28:59,001
Speaker 1: a lid on things. But I just also didn't feel

627
00:28:59,041 --> 00:29:04,561
Speaker 1: because the accumulation of experiences, I just didn't feel enough.

628
00:29:05,161 --> 00:29:08,321
Speaker 1: My father like the root of it, like I wasn't enough,

629
00:29:08,801 --> 00:29:11,961
Speaker 1: I wasn't good enough. My father didn't want me right.

630
00:29:12,041 --> 00:29:15,081
Speaker 1: So that's that's going to fuck someone up big time.

631
00:29:15,481 --> 00:29:19,401
Speaker 1: So I was really I was acting out. This was yeah,

632
00:29:19,441 --> 00:29:20,321
Speaker 1: I was playing it out.

633
00:29:20,881 --> 00:29:22,440
Speaker 2: What did you do when when you went like, I

634
00:29:22,441 --> 00:29:24,000
Speaker 2: know you said that you wanted to be family, more

635
00:29:24,041 --> 00:29:26,361
Speaker 2: family with your something like that, But what did you

636
00:29:26,401 --> 00:29:28,961
Speaker 2: do on that time when you finished with neighbors? Did

637
00:29:28,961 --> 00:29:31,521
Speaker 2: you just do solely family? Nothing else? I did.

638
00:29:32,641 --> 00:29:34,921
Speaker 1: So when I broke up with the boys dad, I

639
00:29:34,961 --> 00:29:36,681
Speaker 1: bought a place just around the corner from him, so

640
00:29:36,721 --> 00:29:39,200
Speaker 1: our boys could go to and frow whoever's home they

641
00:29:39,201 --> 00:29:43,161
Speaker 1: wanted to be at. So when I stopped working, I'd

642
00:29:43,161 --> 00:29:45,961
Speaker 1: gone on this real health caick in a few years before,

643
00:29:46,521 --> 00:29:49,761
Speaker 1: and my thing to cook at the time was like quinoa,

644
00:29:50,561 --> 00:29:53,921
Speaker 1: bock choi and salmon. My kids are like, don't even

645
00:29:54,001 --> 00:29:56,281
Speaker 1: mention that to me. So I was cooking all this

646
00:29:56,361 --> 00:29:59,241
Speaker 1: healthy food and Jai hated it because he wanted to

647
00:29:59,281 --> 00:30:01,881
Speaker 1: go to Dad's where Dad cooked bigs, dodgy pitt orgie

648
00:30:01,961 --> 00:30:05,440
Speaker 1: and like polish stews, all this stuff. What's this you're

649
00:30:05,481 --> 00:30:08,081
Speaker 1: feeding me? He left me, He moved and went to

650
00:30:08,161 --> 00:30:12,961
Speaker 1: his dad's because of what I was feeding him. Really, yeah,

651
00:30:12,961 --> 00:30:22,321
Speaker 1: because Dad was a real comfort, you know, while sho.

652
00:30:21,961 --> 00:30:23,481
Speaker 2: So what what what made you go back? Then?

653
00:30:23,961 --> 00:30:26,601
Speaker 1: I was missing it? Yeah, because I also found that

654
00:30:27,081 --> 00:30:28,801
Speaker 1: wasn't as easy as I thought it might be. When

655
00:30:28,801 --> 00:30:30,921
Speaker 1: I was ready to jump back in, I was typecast

656
00:30:31,081 --> 00:30:34,321
Speaker 1: like I was Steph. Everyone knew me as Steph. I

657
00:30:34,441 --> 00:30:36,521
Speaker 1: was advised, you need to stay off screen for a

658
00:30:36,521 --> 00:30:39,641
Speaker 1: while and then people can't see you as anything as

659
00:30:39,761 --> 00:30:43,960
Speaker 1: but Steph. And so it was like Shah, So I

660
00:30:43,961 --> 00:30:47,921
Speaker 1: got a small role on Wentworth, a very tiny role. Yeah,

661
00:30:47,961 --> 00:30:50,240
Speaker 1: and you know, short films and things like that, but

662
00:30:50,321 --> 00:30:53,641
Speaker 1: nothing major because that casting didn't even want to see me.

663
00:30:53,881 --> 00:30:58,921
Speaker 1: Because but I also didn't set myself up. See like hindsight,

664
00:30:58,961 --> 00:31:01,641
Speaker 1: it's incredible, isn't it. I didn't set myself up. I

665
00:31:01,681 --> 00:31:04,881
Speaker 1: didn't have the right team behind me to manage me,

666
00:31:05,721 --> 00:31:07,841
Speaker 1: get me out there to do what needed to be done.

667
00:31:07,841 --> 00:31:09,720
Speaker 3: I couldn't do it. I own like, I didn't know

668
00:31:09,761 --> 00:31:10,201
Speaker 3: what to do.

669
00:31:10,361 --> 00:31:11,720
Speaker 2: I think you're the only one from day was you

670
00:31:11,761 --> 00:31:18,881
Speaker 2: didn't go into music. So were you glad to go

671
00:31:18,921 --> 00:31:20,161
Speaker 2: back when you did get the offer to go?

672
00:31:20,361 --> 00:31:23,361
Speaker 1: Yeah, so asked me to come back, just forget as

673
00:31:23,361 --> 00:31:26,601
Speaker 1: a GUESTI by which stage, my oldest son Harley was

674
00:31:26,641 --> 00:31:28,601
Speaker 1: on the show, so he got a gig on the show,

675
00:31:28,601 --> 00:31:31,001
Speaker 1: not through me. It was when I had left and

676
00:31:31,201 --> 00:31:33,201
Speaker 1: he decided he wanted to be an actor. I made

677
00:31:33,241 --> 00:31:34,921
Speaker 1: him wait until he finished school before he could get

678
00:31:34,921 --> 00:31:38,041
Speaker 1: an agent. You're going to finish school, You're not going

679
00:31:38,081 --> 00:31:42,401
Speaker 1: to get pregnant. So I came back to the show

680
00:31:42,961 --> 00:31:45,520
Speaker 1: because they wanted Steath so she'd been in prison. They

681
00:31:45,561 --> 00:31:48,441
Speaker 1: wanted her to come out. This was a message.

682
00:31:48,001 --> 00:31:49,401
Speaker 2: Around mental awareness and.

683
00:31:50,961 --> 00:31:53,401
Speaker 1: That was just a six week guesty and then she

684
00:31:53,521 --> 00:31:57,240
Speaker 1: was thrown back into the site facility. Now, so that

685
00:31:57,321 --> 00:31:59,361
Speaker 1: was good. I was happy to raise awareness for that.

686
00:31:59,841 --> 00:32:02,281
Speaker 1: And then they asked me to come back for another

687
00:32:02,321 --> 00:32:05,121
Speaker 1: guest ye And I was living in Sydney because I

688
00:32:05,161 --> 00:32:07,081
Speaker 1: was doing this other show called Ready for This in

689
00:32:07,121 --> 00:32:08,521
Speaker 1: Sydney and a kids show.

690
00:32:08,881 --> 00:32:09,641
Speaker 3: So I came back.

691
00:32:09,681 --> 00:32:11,801
Speaker 1: Oh, I sent them some storylines because I'm like, I'm

692
00:32:11,801 --> 00:32:13,041
Speaker 1: just going to get regurgitated.

693
00:32:13,321 --> 00:32:14,960
Speaker 3: Let's give them some new stuff. I was living with

694
00:32:15,001 --> 00:32:16,801
Speaker 3: a mate who was a writer. We put our heads

695
00:32:16,841 --> 00:32:18,441
Speaker 3: together and wrote some great stuff.

696
00:32:18,881 --> 00:32:20,440
Speaker 1: And then they called me and said, actually, would you

697
00:32:20,481 --> 00:32:23,601
Speaker 1: come back permanently because these are great. Came back permanently

698
00:32:24,601 --> 00:32:27,241
Speaker 1: for the next few years, and so I was happy.

699
00:32:27,281 --> 00:32:29,601
Speaker 1: I was happy to come back because I just wanted

700
00:32:29,641 --> 00:32:33,401
Speaker 1: to be working again and working full time. Fabulous.

701
00:32:33,681 --> 00:32:36,121
Speaker 2: Yea, when you said that you couldn't do other shows,

702
00:32:36,281 --> 00:32:38,521
Speaker 2: did you have to turn down shows when you're because

703
00:32:38,521 --> 00:32:42,281
Speaker 2: of the character Stephanie? Like where you getting offers or no, I.

704
00:32:42,281 --> 00:32:43,401
Speaker 1: Wasn't even getting offers.

705
00:32:43,641 --> 00:32:44,161
Speaker 2: Wow it was.

706
00:32:44,161 --> 00:32:44,761
Speaker 3: Cold out there.

707
00:32:44,841 --> 00:32:45,361
Speaker 1: Yeah.

708
00:32:45,721 --> 00:32:46,681
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was weird like.

709
00:32:47,241 --> 00:32:50,481
Speaker 1: Bits and pieces, but nothing yeah nothing, No one was

710
00:32:50,561 --> 00:32:51,241
Speaker 1: knocking at the door.

711
00:32:51,921 --> 00:32:54,441
Speaker 2: I was very surprised. Back in two thousand and two,

712
00:32:54,441 --> 00:32:55,561
Speaker 2: you were on Celebrity Big Brother.

713
00:32:56,001 --> 00:32:56,441
Speaker 3: Yeah.

714
00:32:56,641 --> 00:32:58,721
Speaker 2: Now I was offered to go on this show, not

715
00:32:58,961 --> 00:33:01,601
Speaker 2: the two thousand and two to one, but I always

716
00:33:01,601 --> 00:33:06,440
Speaker 2: think it's staged completely. Oh, it is there, so it is.

717
00:33:07,401 --> 00:33:11,440
Speaker 1: Well, I don't know about the celebrity one. The reason

718
00:33:11,481 --> 00:33:13,481
Speaker 1: they wanted me to go in there was because Kyle

719
00:33:13,601 --> 00:33:17,601
Speaker 1: Sandalan's he wasn't saying much and they wanted Kyle to

720
00:33:17,641 --> 00:33:18,281
Speaker 1: start talking.

721
00:33:18,721 --> 00:33:21,001
Speaker 2: Of you, you forget him talking? Yeah, why can you

722
00:33:21,001 --> 00:33:21,601
Speaker 2: get him talking?

723
00:33:21,721 --> 00:33:27,241
Speaker 1: And no one else who knows, but I did. It's

724
00:33:27,281 --> 00:33:28,521
Speaker 1: probably just my warm.

725
00:33:30,041 --> 00:33:31,841
Speaker 2: So that was your role to go in there and

726
00:33:31,881 --> 00:33:32,481
Speaker 2: get him talking.

727
00:33:32,601 --> 00:33:34,081
Speaker 1: Yes, it was only for three days, and it was

728
00:33:34,121 --> 00:33:35,641
Speaker 1: only ever going to be for three days, but they

729
00:33:35,641 --> 00:33:40,121
Speaker 1: didn't know that. So I arrived on a vesper. Yeah,

730
00:33:40,161 --> 00:33:42,681
Speaker 1: and I was terrified because even though I played a biker,

731
00:33:42,721 --> 00:33:43,481
Speaker 1: I never rode bike.

732
00:33:43,601 --> 00:33:45,761
Speaker 3: I ride horses. I ride real horsepower.

733
00:33:46,041 --> 00:33:49,081
Speaker 1: Anyway, I was really nervous, and they gave me a

734
00:33:49,121 --> 00:33:52,321
Speaker 1: quick run down on how to ride this vespa. But

735
00:33:52,361 --> 00:33:56,240
Speaker 1: I had to ride in between these two pylons. The

736
00:33:56,441 --> 00:33:59,841
Speaker 1: door was there, and I'm like shaking like a leaf, right,

737
00:33:59,921 --> 00:34:02,521
Speaker 1: So I had a little ride around and then I'm

738
00:34:02,561 --> 00:34:04,520
Speaker 1: there and I'm sitting there and I'm ready to go,

739
00:34:04,761 --> 00:34:08,401
Speaker 1: and I pressed the accelerator and the break. I had

740
00:34:08,401 --> 00:34:11,000
Speaker 1: the break and the accelerator at the same time. And

741
00:34:11,081 --> 00:34:15,041
Speaker 1: then something happened and I've been thrown forward and the

742
00:34:15,161 --> 00:34:19,241
Speaker 1: vespers hit the pole and dinted it. And I'm just like,

743
00:34:19,361 --> 00:34:22,361
Speaker 1: oh my god, I got do this. And then they

744
00:34:22,401 --> 00:34:24,361
Speaker 1: count down and I was shaking like a leaf. And

745
00:34:24,401 --> 00:34:26,761
Speaker 1: so yeah, the door opened.

746
00:34:26,921 --> 00:34:27,801
Speaker 3: I ride through.

747
00:34:28,041 --> 00:34:29,960
Speaker 1: They panned up so you couldn't see the great big

748
00:34:30,001 --> 00:34:34,121
Speaker 1: thing in the vesper and I was like wow, coming

749
00:34:34,161 --> 00:34:35,921
Speaker 1: in and it was great, and I was greeted by

750
00:34:35,961 --> 00:34:39,561
Speaker 1: everyone and it was cool. They did have what they

751
00:34:39,641 --> 00:34:42,441
Speaker 1: wanted for the day. It was quite boring, really, like

752
00:34:43,641 --> 00:34:47,081
Speaker 1: they had a few things they wanted to happen, but nothing.

753
00:34:47,761 --> 00:34:48,961
Speaker 2: Why only three days for you?

754
00:34:49,401 --> 00:34:51,201
Speaker 1: Why is that just to come in just as a

755
00:34:51,201 --> 00:34:54,601
Speaker 1: little light entertainment. But they didn't know that. They thought

756
00:34:54,601 --> 00:34:58,721
Speaker 1: I was an intruder. And I couldn't stand Kyle Sandlin's

757
00:34:58,761 --> 00:35:01,001
Speaker 1: at the time. I couldn't stand it. Every time I

758
00:35:01,041 --> 00:35:03,201
Speaker 1: heard him on the radio, he would make my blood boil.

759
00:35:03,321 --> 00:35:11,201
Speaker 1: I'm like a dickhead. When they got this shop, I mean,

760
00:35:11,521 --> 00:35:13,401
Speaker 1: in my Jarmi's in the morning and I'm making a

761
00:35:13,401 --> 00:35:15,481
Speaker 1: coffee or whatever, and that's my first meeting with Kyle,

762
00:35:15,521 --> 00:35:16,960
Speaker 1: and I didn't like you.

763
00:35:17,601 --> 00:35:19,361
Speaker 3: I used to listen to you, but you know you're

764
00:35:19,361 --> 00:35:19,721
Speaker 3: all right.

765
00:35:20,401 --> 00:35:23,561
Speaker 1: So then we started talking got Matie and and that

766
00:35:23,681 --> 00:35:26,561
Speaker 1: was cool and yeah, so we got talking and then

767
00:35:26,761 --> 00:35:28,681
Speaker 1: the way to get me out, I mean I've jumped

768
00:35:28,681 --> 00:35:31,321
Speaker 1: forward because it really wasn't that exciting.

769
00:35:31,921 --> 00:35:34,121
Speaker 3: There wasn't a whole lot they wanted us to do. Really,

770
00:35:34,121 --> 00:35:36,641
Speaker 3: it was just me get Kyle talking, okay.

771
00:35:37,761 --> 00:35:41,841
Speaker 1: I mean he never shut up after that, and great,

772
00:35:41,881 --> 00:35:44,321
Speaker 1: look at he's achieved such incredible success.

773
00:35:44,401 --> 00:35:49,161
Speaker 3: That's amazing. Give me a job. Kyle never tried radio No,

774
00:35:49,201 --> 00:35:51,681
Speaker 3: but I should. Yeah, I mean I'd love to.

775
00:35:52,681 --> 00:35:55,761
Speaker 2: Because you've only really been an actress, isn't it. You've

776
00:35:55,801 --> 00:35:58,081
Speaker 2: not really bult it out to music or anything like

777
00:35:58,121 --> 00:36:00,641
Speaker 2: that everyone else has done or radio No.

778
00:36:01,761 --> 00:36:07,201
Speaker 1: And I dove into more holistic healing. Okay. They then

779
00:36:07,401 --> 00:36:09,081
Speaker 1: a few days later we had a great time. I

780
00:36:09,081 --> 00:36:11,321
Speaker 1: had a great time with Dylan Lewis. He was fantastic,

781
00:36:11,481 --> 00:36:14,121
Speaker 1: and Kimberly Cooper was on it. So then there was

782
00:36:14,121 --> 00:36:17,440
Speaker 1: a magic show and they used me as the guinea

783
00:36:17,481 --> 00:36:20,241
Speaker 1: pig for the magic show and they put me into

784
00:36:20,281 --> 00:36:24,041
Speaker 1: this tent and they did this abracadabra and then next thing,

785
00:36:24,121 --> 00:36:27,001
Speaker 1: I'm gone and that was my out and Kyle and

786
00:36:27,121 --> 00:36:30,721
Speaker 1: Dylan were beside themselves, like Dylan's running around and it

787
00:36:30,761 --> 00:36:35,161
Speaker 1: was performative, but col like go screaming to the heavens

788
00:36:35,201 --> 00:36:35,921
Speaker 1: where is she?

789
00:36:36,001 --> 00:36:38,761
Speaker 3: And Kyle was just like bewildered, where the fuck is she?

790
00:36:39,641 --> 00:36:42,081
Speaker 3: And I was gone. I was never to return, and

791
00:36:42,121 --> 00:36:45,081
Speaker 3: so yeah, that was it was fun. It was fun.

792
00:36:45,401 --> 00:36:46,281
Speaker 1: Something a little different.

793
00:36:46,441 --> 00:36:48,161
Speaker 2: It might be a bit hard because, as I said,

794
00:36:48,161 --> 00:36:51,601
Speaker 2: you've done twenty years of Stephanie. But what role would

795
00:36:51,601 --> 00:36:54,041
Speaker 2: you like to do? You know, is there a role

796
00:36:54,081 --> 00:36:56,201
Speaker 2: out there that you'd love to do? I see you

797
00:36:56,321 --> 00:36:59,081
Speaker 2: made personally. I look at you and I go copper detective.

798
00:36:59,321 --> 00:37:01,281
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'd love to do I'd love to do something

799
00:37:01,321 --> 00:37:04,081
Speaker 1: like that. I've been look, I've been auditioning again a

800
00:37:04,081 --> 00:37:07,960
Speaker 1: bit lately. I had a great agent now, but I'd

801
00:37:08,041 --> 00:37:10,480
Speaker 1: love to be Oh, you know, something like.

802
00:37:10,601 --> 00:37:11,361
Speaker 3: Game of Thrones.

803
00:37:11,761 --> 00:37:15,601
Speaker 1: Oh yes, okay, yeah, where you get really dressed out

804
00:37:15,721 --> 00:37:17,801
Speaker 1: something besides Stephanie.

805
00:37:17,881 --> 00:37:20,001
Speaker 2: What role stuck to your head, like, I'm really you

806
00:37:20,081 --> 00:37:23,361
Speaker 2: enjoyed doing besides Stephanie? Is there was a little role

807
00:37:23,481 --> 00:37:25,681
Speaker 2: or another TV show that you've gone. You know what,

808
00:37:25,721 --> 00:37:27,441
Speaker 2: I enjoyed that. Wish I had a bigger role in

809
00:37:27,521 --> 00:37:28,881
Speaker 2: that to play or something like that.

810
00:37:29,161 --> 00:37:31,161
Speaker 3: Yeah, I wish I had more of a role in Wentworth.

811
00:37:31,521 --> 00:37:32,561
Speaker 3: You know what happened.

812
00:37:32,761 --> 00:37:36,081
Speaker 1: I really burnt myself like I did myself an injustice.

813
00:37:36,441 --> 00:37:38,521
Speaker 1: Fremantle had a meeting with me and said, you know,

814
00:37:38,561 --> 00:37:43,001
Speaker 1: we're developing prisoner like the Rhythmaker prisoner and it's called Wentworth.

815
00:37:43,081 --> 00:37:45,641
Speaker 1: And I said to them, oh, look like Steph's just

816
00:37:45,641 --> 00:37:48,081
Speaker 1: been in prison. I've done that whole thing. Like I

817
00:37:48,161 --> 00:37:53,721
Speaker 1: really don't want to be doing prison again. Okay, now

818
00:37:54,121 --> 00:37:58,361
Speaker 1: you just stubbed yourself in the like that's what I mean.

819
00:37:58,481 --> 00:38:01,041
Speaker 1: I knew how to monumentally fuck up my opportunities.

820
00:38:01,161 --> 00:38:01,601
Speaker 2: Wow.

821
00:38:02,361 --> 00:38:04,281
Speaker 1: But then you look at it like in hindsight again,

822
00:38:04,321 --> 00:38:06,561
Speaker 1: you look back and you go, everything has happened. Everything

823
00:38:06,601 --> 00:38:09,321
Speaker 1: that's happened is meant to happen. We've got like the

824
00:38:09,361 --> 00:38:13,321
Speaker 1: parallel universes and the timelines and everything where on another

825
00:38:13,361 --> 00:38:14,681
Speaker 1: timeline I was doing it.

826
00:38:14,841 --> 00:38:16,641
Speaker 3: You know, like there's that version of me that was.

827
00:38:17,281 --> 00:38:20,681
Speaker 1: But for me to actually all of the stuff that's happened,

828
00:38:20,721 --> 00:38:24,241
Speaker 1: has everything has led me to where I am now.

829
00:38:24,401 --> 00:38:29,081
Speaker 1: And in terms of career success, yeah, I'm not doing

830
00:38:29,121 --> 00:38:31,481
Speaker 1: what I'd love to be doing. But in terms of

831
00:38:32,161 --> 00:38:35,881
Speaker 1: in a healing and in a piece and coming to

832
00:38:36,001 --> 00:38:38,201
Speaker 1: know thyself, it's magic.

833
00:38:38,641 --> 00:38:40,001
Speaker 3: Yeah. I have no regrets in that.

834
00:38:40,281 --> 00:38:42,801
Speaker 1: I would prefer for myself to be healed than to

835
00:38:42,881 --> 00:38:46,921
Speaker 1: be just continuing to move on through this industry unconsciously

836
00:38:47,521 --> 00:38:53,121
Speaker 1: and perpetuating cycles and repeating patterns. So I'm ready again.

837
00:38:53,201 --> 00:38:55,081
Speaker 1: Now it's like, Okay, I've got myself ready again.

838
00:38:56,041 --> 00:38:59,081
Speaker 2: It's funny because now just watching you there and you

839
00:38:59,121 --> 00:39:01,841
Speaker 2: say you like kids. I could see you on play school.

840
00:39:01,961 --> 00:39:07,401
Speaker 1: Well everyone thinks I am Justine Clark. I loved your albums.

841
00:39:09,121 --> 00:39:10,361
Speaker 3: How Justin gets that too.

842
00:39:10,721 --> 00:39:14,361
Speaker 1: I hope they say to her, you're great neighbors. And

843
00:39:14,401 --> 00:39:17,321
Speaker 1: I think that they should make Justine and I sisters

844
00:39:17,321 --> 00:39:20,841
Speaker 1: in something in a show together Blay sisters, because really

845
00:39:20,841 --> 00:39:23,641
Speaker 1: we're not. I don't think we're that similar, but we're

846
00:39:23,641 --> 00:39:24,881
Speaker 1: the same type.

847
00:39:25,321 --> 00:39:28,961
Speaker 2: So yeah, what about what about the Clearmont murders? Were

848
00:39:29,001 --> 00:39:30,641
Speaker 2: when you're done that, would you reckon you? You would

849
00:39:30,641 --> 00:39:31,801
Speaker 2: have liked have a bigger role than that?

850
00:39:31,961 --> 00:39:35,841
Speaker 1: Yeah, totally. I just got to perth day one there

851
00:39:36,041 --> 00:39:39,801
Speaker 1: and they called me to audition, and so yeah I

852
00:39:39,841 --> 00:39:43,041
Speaker 1: did and got a tiny, tiny role. But it was

853
00:39:43,121 --> 00:39:48,281
Speaker 1: but they've actually also been shooting two years prior, so

854
00:39:48,481 --> 00:39:50,481
Speaker 1: it had already been cast and everything they were just

855
00:39:50,481 --> 00:39:53,440
Speaker 1: picking up after COVID, So yeah, there was just this

856
00:39:53,521 --> 00:39:56,561
Speaker 1: one little little role left.

857
00:39:57,001 --> 00:39:59,921
Speaker 3: And yeah, I would have loved a bigger role in

858
00:39:59,961 --> 00:40:01,281
Speaker 3: that much.

859
00:40:01,281 --> 00:40:03,321
Speaker 2: Super Bowl? How was that?

860
00:40:03,321 --> 00:40:06,521
Speaker 1: That was great? Yeah, funny guys. That was actually like,

861
00:40:06,601 --> 00:40:09,321
Speaker 1: she is such a creepy character and it was really

862
00:40:09,361 --> 00:40:14,161
Speaker 1: hard to play because I'm not creep But no, they

863
00:40:14,201 --> 00:40:17,801
Speaker 1: had a specific way, very Stepford whitefish, you know, and

864
00:40:17,921 --> 00:40:21,641
Speaker 1: very mechanical and very like wide eyed and just freak.

865
00:40:22,361 --> 00:40:24,561
Speaker 3: That was fun. Those guys are such gentlemen.

866
00:40:24,961 --> 00:40:26,521
Speaker 2: Do you prefer comedy when you do it or do

867
00:40:26,561 --> 00:40:28,681
Speaker 2: you prefer like a like a TV series.

868
00:40:28,881 --> 00:40:31,440
Speaker 1: Look, I don't particularly think my comic timing is good.

869
00:40:31,561 --> 00:40:33,121
Speaker 1: I think I'm better the one to play it straight

870
00:40:33,161 --> 00:40:36,081
Speaker 1: and everyone just dances around me. But yeah, it's great,

871
00:40:37,001 --> 00:40:41,000
Speaker 1: Like the laughter. We need laughter and to be able

872
00:40:41,001 --> 00:40:44,561
Speaker 1: to be working on something every day where you just

873
00:40:44,681 --> 00:40:47,361
Speaker 1: laugh and laugh and you've got all these incredible outtakes

874
00:40:47,361 --> 00:40:49,081
Speaker 1: and things like bloopers.

875
00:40:49,121 --> 00:40:51,041
Speaker 3: So good medicine.

876
00:40:51,961 --> 00:40:54,561
Speaker 2: But if you could change anything in your career, what

877
00:40:54,601 --> 00:40:55,881
Speaker 2: would you change.

878
00:40:56,161 --> 00:40:58,641
Speaker 1: I think I would have made a lot more of

879
00:40:58,721 --> 00:41:02,241
Speaker 1: every opportunity that came at me. I used to have

880
00:41:02,281 --> 00:41:04,841
Speaker 1: a problem with the networking stuff, like I used to

881
00:41:04,841 --> 00:41:07,001
Speaker 1: see it is so superficial and fake.

882
00:41:08,401 --> 00:41:09,641
Speaker 3: But as part of the game.

883
00:41:09,961 --> 00:41:12,520
Speaker 1: Well, because you're selling yourself right, you got to play

884
00:41:12,521 --> 00:41:14,801
Speaker 1: the game. And I was so opposed to playing the

885
00:41:14,841 --> 00:41:18,201
Speaker 1: game because I was quite outspoken and at the time,

886
00:41:18,321 --> 00:41:20,441
Speaker 1: like I used to think, people needed to hear my opinion.

887
00:41:21,441 --> 00:41:22,761
Speaker 3: And it made me a lot of enemies.

888
00:41:23,281 --> 00:41:25,321
Speaker 1: And I think that that's got a lot to do

889
00:41:25,441 --> 00:41:27,641
Speaker 1: with not that I was an awful person, but I

890
00:41:27,681 --> 00:41:29,641
Speaker 1: was outspoken, and I think that a lot of people

891
00:41:29,761 --> 00:41:32,601
Speaker 1: took a disliking to me for whatever reason and have

892
00:41:32,681 --> 00:41:36,201
Speaker 1: had played a part in my not working so much.

893
00:41:36,241 --> 00:41:38,121
Speaker 2: Took a disliking, So why would they take a disliking

894
00:41:38,121 --> 00:41:38,401
Speaker 2: to you.

895
00:41:38,641 --> 00:41:42,001
Speaker 1: Well, because I would speak up, Like there was when

896
00:41:42,001 --> 00:41:45,081
Speaker 1: I went back to the show in twenty sixteen, this

897
00:41:45,241 --> 00:41:47,801
Speaker 1: article came out about me. When I walked back into

898
00:41:47,841 --> 00:41:51,681
Speaker 1: the green room. The culture had changed the infiltration of

899
00:41:51,841 --> 00:41:55,641
Speaker 1: social media, and people were not so much actors anymore.

900
00:41:55,681 --> 00:41:59,001
Speaker 1: They were more personalities or influencers back in the early days,

901
00:41:59,041 --> 00:42:03,161
Speaker 1: but it had shifted and there was someone in particular

902
00:42:03,241 --> 00:42:05,281
Speaker 1: in the green room who had taken a disliking to me.

903
00:42:05,641 --> 00:42:07,921
Speaker 1: She was a bit of a ringleader, and when you

904
00:42:07,961 --> 00:42:09,561
Speaker 1: look at it, you just go, you know, birds of

905
00:42:09,561 --> 00:42:12,601
Speaker 1: a feather right like there's flop. And this time I'd

906
00:42:12,601 --> 00:42:15,201
Speaker 1: come back to the show and I was sitting back.

907
00:42:15,241 --> 00:42:17,321
Speaker 1: I'm looking at because when you're doing the inner work

908
00:42:17,361 --> 00:42:19,440
Speaker 1: and you come to know thyself, you can then see

909
00:42:19,481 --> 00:42:23,121
Speaker 1: yourself in everyone past versions of self, and you can

910
00:42:23,241 --> 00:42:26,521
Speaker 1: understand people because you know yourself, so you understand where

911
00:42:26,521 --> 00:42:28,961
Speaker 1: people are at, even though everyone has their own individual

912
00:42:29,081 --> 00:42:33,241
Speaker 1: story and stuff, but the performance or the facades or

913
00:42:33,241 --> 00:42:36,041
Speaker 1: whatever it is, you can sort of see through it. Anyway,

914
00:42:36,081 --> 00:42:38,201
Speaker 1: this time I'm sitting back, and I used to be

915
00:42:38,281 --> 00:42:41,481
Speaker 1: the one that was cartwheeling down the corridors and laughing

916
00:42:41,561 --> 00:42:43,601
Speaker 1: and loud and all of that sort of thing. But

917
00:42:43,601 --> 00:42:46,601
Speaker 1: now I'm sitting back more as the observer. This article

918
00:42:46,721 --> 00:42:49,761
Speaker 1: came out about me in one of the trash mags

919
00:42:50,001 --> 00:42:53,121
Speaker 1: and it was that I was Australia's biggest diva and

920
00:42:53,161 --> 00:42:56,521
Speaker 1: it was the source was one of my castmates and

921
00:42:56,561 --> 00:43:01,241
Speaker 1: the journalist both of them anonymous, and this just when

922
00:43:01,241 --> 00:43:02,041
Speaker 1: I got to work.

923
00:43:02,081 --> 00:43:03,961
Speaker 3: The publicist called me up to the office.

924
00:43:04,481 --> 00:43:08,121
Speaker 1: She wasn't particularly nice either, for whatever reason, but she

925
00:43:08,241 --> 00:43:10,801
Speaker 1: sort of just flung the She goes, this was written

926
00:43:10,801 --> 00:43:13,241
Speaker 1: about you, and you might want to have.

927
00:43:13,241 --> 00:43:14,121
Speaker 3: A look at it.

928
00:43:14,161 --> 00:43:17,121
Speaker 1: And I'm like, reading it, it was all lies, Like

929
00:43:17,161 --> 00:43:19,561
Speaker 1: it was really honestly all lies.

930
00:43:19,721 --> 00:43:21,721
Speaker 3: Like i'd come back. I thought I was top dog.

931
00:43:21,761 --> 00:43:24,201
Speaker 1: I'd sit in the green room like you know, and

932
00:43:24,281 --> 00:43:28,281
Speaker 1: I would have storylines changed, even at the detriment of

933
00:43:28,321 --> 00:43:32,641
Speaker 1: other characters or actors. And I went ballistic when I

934
00:43:32,681 --> 00:43:35,281
Speaker 1: found out there were no front covers for my return

935
00:43:35,401 --> 00:43:38,960
Speaker 1: and all of this stuff, right, it was just so

936
00:43:39,081 --> 00:43:41,961
Speaker 1: nasty and that I'd tried to make it in the

937
00:43:42,121 --> 00:43:45,681
Speaker 1: US and they say, you're still a no name, and

938
00:43:45,761 --> 00:43:48,921
Speaker 1: no matter how good your cosmetic surgery is, you're still

939
00:43:48,961 --> 00:43:51,521
Speaker 1: a no name. And she didn't make it. And it

940
00:43:51,561 --> 00:43:55,481
Speaker 1: was just like all of this nasty, nasty stuff. So

941
00:43:55,561 --> 00:43:58,161
Speaker 1: I'm in this green room and I don't know who

942
00:43:58,201 --> 00:44:01,201
Speaker 1: I've got an idea of who it was, and it

943
00:44:01,841 --> 00:44:05,401
Speaker 1: was horrible. I lost my mojo, Like I was really

944
00:44:05,521 --> 00:44:07,881
Speaker 1: messed up from that because it was just liese and

945
00:44:07,921 --> 00:44:09,801
Speaker 1: it was nice. You never confronts of the person, just

946
00:44:09,801 --> 00:44:14,401
Speaker 1: to see if if you were right. Felt so disempowered

947
00:44:14,801 --> 00:44:16,521
Speaker 1: by this at the time. They had to get me.

948
00:44:16,601 --> 00:44:19,681
Speaker 1: They were not supportive of me. They really were not

949
00:44:19,721 --> 00:44:23,201
Speaker 1: supportive management. They did get me because I was really

950
00:44:23,241 --> 00:44:27,641
Speaker 1: falling apart. They got me five life coaching sessions. But

951
00:44:27,921 --> 00:44:30,721
Speaker 1: it was awful. I'm looking around and there was no

952
00:44:30,921 --> 00:44:35,441
Speaker 1: point me confronting anyone because there was so many whispers

953
00:44:35,481 --> 00:44:38,841
Speaker 1: and biggles and like I'd hear things from Crewe because

954
00:44:39,441 --> 00:44:41,921
Speaker 1: the crew knew me. They knew what kind of person

955
00:44:41,961 --> 00:44:44,921
Speaker 1: I was. Like, those who knew me knew me. Yeah,

956
00:44:44,961 --> 00:44:46,601
Speaker 1: that was really shit. And there were a lot of

957
00:44:46,681 --> 00:44:49,441
Speaker 1: things that happened that I've never spoken about, and you know,

958
00:44:49,481 --> 00:44:51,241
Speaker 1: to the point where people have said, why did you

959
00:44:51,281 --> 00:44:54,081
Speaker 1: not take them to court? Why did you not sue

960
00:44:54,241 --> 00:44:56,481
Speaker 1: for these injustices that happened? Because I ended up they

961
00:44:56,561 --> 00:44:59,401
Speaker 1: ended up writing me out after they just asked me

962
00:44:59,441 --> 00:45:01,001
Speaker 1: to re sign for another two years, and I was

963
00:45:01,041 --> 00:45:05,281
Speaker 1: going to Europe for a holiday and I'm like, yeah, okay,

964
00:45:05,321 --> 00:45:08,121
Speaker 1: because I was studying self love, I was being mentored

965
00:45:08,121 --> 00:45:10,441
Speaker 1: and I was on this really deep dive into self

966
00:45:10,481 --> 00:45:13,161
Speaker 1: and I'm like, yeah, this works for me because I

967
00:45:13,161 --> 00:45:16,641
Speaker 1: can keep studying. But they said because there was the takeover,

968
00:45:16,961 --> 00:45:19,801
Speaker 1: Channel ten was being taken over by CBS or CBN

969
00:45:19,881 --> 00:45:22,401
Speaker 1: or whoever it was. When you get back full signed

970
00:45:22,401 --> 00:45:24,561
Speaker 1: contracts and things like that. So I went away to Europe.

971
00:45:24,841 --> 00:45:27,641
Speaker 1: First freaking week in Europe, go to France, and I'm

972
00:45:27,641 --> 00:45:32,201
Speaker 1: in Nice and I got robbed, like lost everything I had,

973
00:45:32,921 --> 00:45:35,681
Speaker 1: and so that was just shit. And then I got

974
00:45:35,721 --> 00:45:39,681
Speaker 1: back to work, you know, after four weeks, and at

975
00:45:39,681 --> 00:45:41,761
Speaker 1: the end of the first week back, on the Friday,

976
00:45:41,801 --> 00:45:43,921
Speaker 1: I got a message saying Jason wants to see you

977
00:45:43,921 --> 00:45:45,961
Speaker 1: at the end of the day executive producer. And I'm like,

978
00:45:46,121 --> 00:45:48,480
Speaker 1: oh god, I just know what's coming. And I said

979
00:45:48,481 --> 00:45:52,081
Speaker 1: to Ryan, who played Tody, I think I'm gone. He's like, no,

980
00:45:52,081 --> 00:45:56,121
Speaker 1: non'd be ridiculous. Steph's gullies if like no, Actually, I

981
00:45:56,121 --> 00:45:58,801
Speaker 1: think I just think I had end of the day,

982
00:45:58,841 --> 00:46:03,721
Speaker 1: came walk into the office producer and executive producer and yeah,

983
00:46:03,801 --> 00:46:06,681
Speaker 1: I got delivered the news. It was like I was numb,

984
00:46:06,881 --> 00:46:09,401
Speaker 1: Like I was numb, and I left and I walked

985
00:46:09,401 --> 00:46:11,361
Speaker 1: out to the car and I was driving home and

986
00:46:11,401 --> 00:46:13,881
Speaker 1: again the inner voice said to me, don't worry.

987
00:46:13,921 --> 00:46:16,761
Speaker 3: This is part of your story. Part of your story.

988
00:46:17,921 --> 00:46:19,801
Speaker 1: Oh, so that you know. I just had to really

989
00:46:19,841 --> 00:46:22,321
Speaker 1: trust in that. But then it was about like comforting

990
00:46:22,321 --> 00:46:24,681
Speaker 1: those around me, going he's okay, I'm okay, I'm okay,

991
00:46:24,721 --> 00:46:27,241
Speaker 1: It's okay, you know, but you know, okay, Well, at

992
00:46:27,321 --> 00:46:30,321
Speaker 1: least I'm I'm being mentored and coached and I'm learning

993
00:46:30,321 --> 00:46:33,601
Speaker 1: these methodologies and I can go on and do this.

994
00:46:33,641 --> 00:46:35,041
Speaker 1: But you know, at the time too, it was just

995
00:46:35,081 --> 00:46:36,401
Speaker 1: I had to let the dust settle.

996
00:46:37,921 --> 00:46:39,561
Speaker 2: How did I feel when knowing that, you know, you

997
00:46:39,641 --> 00:46:43,641
Speaker 2: put so much long, so many years and time into

998
00:46:43,761 --> 00:46:46,641
Speaker 2: into that show, and and Sir Stephanie, to just be

999
00:46:46,721 --> 00:46:48,121
Speaker 2: told that, you know what I mean.

1000
00:46:48,361 --> 00:46:49,201
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was.

1001
00:46:49,281 --> 00:46:52,161
Speaker 1: I felt really betrayed by them too, because the executive

1002
00:46:52,161 --> 00:46:54,281
Speaker 1: producer we were friends from way back when he was

1003
00:46:54,281 --> 00:46:58,641
Speaker 1: a journalist, wow journalist for a trash bag, and we

1004
00:46:58,721 --> 00:47:01,161
Speaker 1: were great mates. And it's like they step into this

1005
00:47:01,321 --> 00:47:05,041
Speaker 1: position of power and they just change. And anyway, I

1006
00:47:05,041 --> 00:47:08,121
Speaker 1: I fucking lost my mind one day because suddenly they're

1007
00:47:08,161 --> 00:47:10,440
Speaker 1: doing full cast shoots but I'm in the green room

1008
00:47:10,441 --> 00:47:12,521
Speaker 1: on my own because I'm not in the show next year.

1009
00:47:12,761 --> 00:47:17,001
Speaker 1: And then I'd walk down the corridors and they've got

1010
00:47:17,281 --> 00:47:22,081
Speaker 1: single shots of all the different characters and all I'm

1011
00:47:22,121 --> 00:47:24,521
Speaker 1: in is a group shot. It was just twisting me

1012
00:47:24,601 --> 00:47:28,481
Speaker 1: because it's like suddenly I was just undervalue. I was

1013
00:47:28,521 --> 00:47:31,841
Speaker 1: not like I was just being removed rubbed out. So

1014
00:47:32,201 --> 00:47:33,721
Speaker 1: I went down there and I lost my mind at

1015
00:47:33,721 --> 00:47:35,761
Speaker 1: them and said, how do you think this makes me feel?

1016
00:47:35,761 --> 00:47:39,241
Speaker 1: And you've got her laughing because look at what's happening

1017
00:47:39,281 --> 00:47:41,201
Speaker 1: to me now, and you know it just fucking lost

1018
00:47:41,201 --> 00:47:41,601
Speaker 1: my mind.

1019
00:47:41,681 --> 00:47:43,921
Speaker 3: So the next week there was a photo of me

1020
00:47:44,001 --> 00:47:44,681
Speaker 3: up there.

1021
00:47:44,561 --> 00:47:46,081
Speaker 1: As they should be. I was with the show for

1022
00:47:46,121 --> 00:47:49,001
Speaker 1: freaking nineteen years, Like, yes, you should have a picture

1023
00:47:49,041 --> 00:47:51,001
Speaker 1: of Steph Scully up there. I'm not being prima donna

1024
00:47:51,121 --> 00:47:54,801
Speaker 1: or about that. It's just why wouldn't I be part

1025
00:47:54,801 --> 00:47:57,081
Speaker 1: and part of the fabric of the show. I gave

1026
00:47:57,161 --> 00:48:00,401
Speaker 1: my heart and soul. Yeah, so I was really angry

1027
00:48:00,441 --> 00:48:04,121
Speaker 1: and betrayed, and I shut them out like I wouldn't.

1028
00:48:04,281 --> 00:48:06,401
Speaker 1: I didn't want to beat to them about it, Like, yeah,

1029
00:48:06,481 --> 00:48:09,241
Speaker 1: I was pretty messed up. So when I left the show,

1030
00:48:09,841 --> 00:48:13,201
Speaker 1: I was like wounded and I was trying to pick

1031
00:48:13,281 --> 00:48:15,641
Speaker 1: up the pieces. And then they asked me to come

1032
00:48:15,681 --> 00:48:21,641
Speaker 1: back to service another character's death, and I'm like, I'm sorry,

1033
00:48:21,681 --> 00:48:24,681
Speaker 1: but my mental health is far more important than walking

1034
00:48:24,721 --> 00:48:28,241
Speaker 1: back into that green room and having others like snigger

1035
00:48:28,281 --> 00:48:32,201
Speaker 1: at me like they're the nastiness. It was so nasty

1036
00:48:32,441 --> 00:48:34,961
Speaker 1: and the bitchiness and the backstabbing and all. It was

1037
00:48:35,041 --> 00:48:37,761
Speaker 1: so awful that I didn't care that you were going

1038
00:48:37,801 --> 00:48:39,801
Speaker 1: to pay me good money. I'm not coming back.

1039
00:48:40,401 --> 00:48:40,761
Speaker 2: Wow.

1040
00:48:41,401 --> 00:48:45,881
Speaker 1: And then years past, and then it was the show

1041
00:48:45,961 --> 00:48:48,601
Speaker 1: was being axed and they got me to do a

1042
00:48:48,681 --> 00:48:53,241
Speaker 1: tiny little snippet. And then it was more recently when

1043
00:48:53,241 --> 00:48:56,161
Speaker 1: the show was then resurrected and everything, all of those

1044
00:48:56,201 --> 00:48:59,641
Speaker 1: actors had gone, and I'm sort of like, oh, I

1045
00:48:59,681 --> 00:49:03,401
Speaker 1: wonder if I should, like, you know, so it's like

1046
00:49:05,241 --> 00:49:08,201
Speaker 1: with Jason, and it doesn't, you know, nothing comes of it,

1047
00:49:08,241 --> 00:49:10,281
Speaker 1: but you know, because it was just such a big

1048
00:49:10,321 --> 00:49:11,921
Speaker 1: part of my life, it was.

1049
00:49:11,961 --> 00:49:15,561
Speaker 2: Just Yeah, sometimes you wish that you'd never gone back.

1050
00:49:16,281 --> 00:49:18,401
Speaker 1: No, I think it was good in terms of serving

1051
00:49:18,441 --> 00:49:21,401
Speaker 1: the viewers, like in the raising of awareness with this

1052
00:49:21,561 --> 00:49:25,561
Speaker 1: character Steph, Like she was a great vehicle for those

1053
00:49:25,681 --> 00:49:28,761
Speaker 1: for that messaging. And so when I think about back

1054
00:49:28,801 --> 00:49:32,441
Speaker 1: to that nurse who whose life was saved, Steph's just

1055
00:49:32,521 --> 00:49:33,801
Speaker 1: such a loved character.

1056
00:49:34,121 --> 00:49:35,441
Speaker 3: No, I don't regret. I don't know.

1057
00:49:35,641 --> 00:49:38,201
Speaker 2: So I only say that because now I've listened to

1058
00:49:38,241 --> 00:49:41,801
Speaker 2: your story and this is this is only in my opinion. Yeah,

1059
00:49:41,841 --> 00:49:45,361
Speaker 2: I feel that neighbors stopped you growing bigger than what

1060
00:49:45,401 --> 00:49:45,961
Speaker 2: you could have been.

1061
00:49:46,161 --> 00:49:49,041
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think so too. I do think so definitely.

1062
00:49:50,201 --> 00:49:53,281
Speaker 2: It stops you from getting opportunities, you know, arise and

1063
00:49:53,321 --> 00:49:55,081
Speaker 2: around you to get over rolls and you know what

1064
00:49:55,121 --> 00:49:57,601
Speaker 2: I mean. So you put like nearly twenty years into

1065
00:49:57,641 --> 00:49:58,241
Speaker 2: that service.

1066
00:49:58,921 --> 00:50:01,321
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then I was like, you know, go to

1067
00:50:01,321 --> 00:50:03,881
Speaker 1: the UK because there was also those sorts of opportunities

1068
00:50:03,881 --> 00:50:06,001
Speaker 1: when I left the show the first time. But I'm

1069
00:50:06,041 --> 00:50:08,481
Speaker 1: not moving my kids to the UK, like I'm not

1070
00:50:08,521 --> 00:50:09,641
Speaker 1: taking them away.

1071
00:50:09,601 --> 00:50:11,681
Speaker 2: From their school life, because a lot of them used

1072
00:50:11,681 --> 00:50:13,961
Speaker 2: to go Obvious the UK and pantom Arms and all

1073
00:50:14,001 --> 00:50:14,361
Speaker 2: like that.

1074
00:50:14,721 --> 00:50:18,441
Speaker 1: I couldn't take any of those opportunities because I had kids,

1075
00:50:18,721 --> 00:50:23,480
Speaker 1: and it made my path very different. Yeah, but yeah

1076
00:50:23,521 --> 00:50:24,961
Speaker 1: it did in a lot of ways. And one day

1077
00:50:25,001 --> 00:50:27,561
Speaker 1: I dared to say something on Twitter x now but backman,

1078
00:50:27,641 --> 00:50:28,921
Speaker 1: it was Twitter about Steph.

1079
00:50:29,001 --> 00:50:31,121
Speaker 3: Love your Steph, but really you've getting You're in my way?

1080
00:50:31,321 --> 00:50:33,681
Speaker 1: Wow, get out of the way, have people coming at

1081
00:50:33,681 --> 00:50:36,081
Speaker 1: me through coming through at me, going you should be

1082
00:50:36,161 --> 00:50:39,361
Speaker 1: grateful to step I'm like, I am, I am.

1083
00:50:39,561 --> 00:50:41,921
Speaker 3: You're missing the point, like I am grateful to Steph.

1084
00:50:41,921 --> 00:50:44,201
Speaker 2: But I see that you're grateful. But as I said,

1085
00:50:44,561 --> 00:50:46,761
Speaker 2: from an outside, I see that it held you back.

1086
00:50:46,881 --> 00:50:49,961
Speaker 1: It has and then to be so undervalued and mistreated

1087
00:50:50,161 --> 00:50:52,401
Speaker 1: toward the end of it, especially when you think you're

1088
00:50:52,601 --> 00:50:54,081
Speaker 1: re signed for two years and you come back and

1089
00:50:54,081 --> 00:50:58,841
Speaker 1: they're like, oh, we changed our mind you So yeah,

1090
00:50:59,001 --> 00:51:01,721
Speaker 1: But then I think too, as you know, I was

1091
00:51:01,761 --> 00:51:06,641
Speaker 1: guided divinely guide and comforted by that inner knowing just

1092
00:51:06,681 --> 00:51:08,721
Speaker 1: going this part of your story, you've got deeper work

1093
00:51:08,761 --> 00:51:12,721
Speaker 1: to do. So yeah, I feel like now I have

1094
00:51:12,761 --> 00:51:14,961
Speaker 1: the best of both worlds. Like, I don't think my

1095
00:51:15,001 --> 00:51:18,121
Speaker 1: career is over. I think it's just been. There's been

1096
00:51:18,201 --> 00:51:21,241
Speaker 1: this This time's been necessary for me to heal and

1097
00:51:21,281 --> 00:51:23,201
Speaker 1: for me to come to know myself and for the

1098
00:51:23,241 --> 00:51:25,361
Speaker 1: stories that I tell from now on as an actor.

1099
00:51:25,481 --> 00:51:29,761
Speaker 1: As a character, we so much more, you know, loaded

1100
00:51:29,761 --> 00:51:33,441
Speaker 1: and textured because of my life experience, and that is

1101
00:51:33,441 --> 00:51:36,401
Speaker 1: what I will bring to everything. Just need someone and

1102
00:51:36,441 --> 00:51:37,441
Speaker 1: give me a chance, Bace.

1103
00:51:38,681 --> 00:51:40,961
Speaker 2: So what do you think, what do you think the

1104
00:51:41,001 --> 00:51:42,401
Speaker 2: future holds for Carla Bonna.

1105
00:51:43,681 --> 00:51:45,761
Speaker 1: I don't know, and I like that I don't know that.

1106
00:51:46,601 --> 00:51:48,361
Speaker 1: You know that I don't know what I don't know

1107
00:51:48,561 --> 00:51:51,641
Speaker 1: as well. I would love see I am a coach.

1108
00:51:51,721 --> 00:51:55,361
Speaker 1: I am a spiritual life coach. But it's also let's

1109
00:51:55,401 --> 00:51:57,521
Speaker 1: reframe it because some people take that as woo woo.

1110
00:51:58,161 --> 00:52:01,001
Speaker 1: It's more just that the inner work turning in wood

1111
00:52:01,001 --> 00:52:01,881
Speaker 1: for truth and direction.

1112
00:52:02,761 --> 00:52:03,321
Speaker 3: I love that.

1113
00:52:03,401 --> 00:52:06,561
Speaker 1: I've never been entrepreneurial, really business minded, but I've been

1114
00:52:06,601 --> 00:52:10,361
Speaker 1: doing business this whole year, been mentored and it's incredible.

1115
00:52:10,441 --> 00:52:14,241
Speaker 1: These guys have been amazing, relent relentless education. I'm just

1116
00:52:14,241 --> 00:52:17,121
Speaker 1: giving them a plug. They're just great, right, and they've

1117
00:52:17,201 --> 00:52:20,681
Speaker 1: taught me so much. At first, I'm like I was

1118
00:52:20,761 --> 00:52:23,881
Speaker 1: so I had such an aversion to it. But I've

1119
00:52:23,881 --> 00:52:25,881
Speaker 1: been building the back end of the business because a

1120
00:52:25,881 --> 00:52:28,001
Speaker 1: lot of the clients that I would get would come

1121
00:52:28,001 --> 00:52:31,881
Speaker 1: through the DMS, okay, and it just I wanted something

1122
00:52:31,961 --> 00:52:35,881
Speaker 1: much more professional and streamline and have a whole system

1123
00:52:35,961 --> 00:52:38,881
Speaker 1: behind me where everything was automated. And so it's been

1124
00:52:38,921 --> 00:52:42,841
Speaker 1: a big job doing that huge job doing creating lead

1125
00:52:42,881 --> 00:52:47,041
Speaker 1: magnets and writing Niche and Avatar and all of these things.

1126
00:52:47,481 --> 00:52:50,081
Speaker 1: But that work means a lot to me because of

1127
00:52:50,641 --> 00:52:55,521
Speaker 1: how powerful the healing was for me and seeing how

1128
00:52:55,601 --> 00:52:58,561
Speaker 1: similar fundamentally we all are. We have these basic primal

1129
00:52:58,681 --> 00:53:04,241
Speaker 1: human needs. Having this profile people knowing me being such

1130
00:53:04,241 --> 00:53:08,601
Speaker 1: a huge part of peace people's lives. There's that beautiful

1131
00:53:08,601 --> 00:53:11,161
Speaker 1: trust that they have for me. So if I can

1132
00:53:11,201 --> 00:53:14,321
Speaker 1: guide them to live their lives better, because imagine if

1133
00:53:14,801 --> 00:53:17,681
Speaker 1: everyone was taking care of their own inner landscape right

1134
00:53:17,721 --> 00:53:20,480
Speaker 1: now and then going out into the world and that's

1135
00:53:20,481 --> 00:53:22,801
Speaker 1: sort of permeating into the world. How different it would

1136
00:53:22,841 --> 00:53:25,961
Speaker 1: be if everyone took responsibility for their own shit instead

1137
00:53:25,961 --> 00:53:28,721
Speaker 1: of blaming others and expecting other people to fix their stuff.

1138
00:53:28,961 --> 00:53:32,201
Speaker 3: It's not there. It's not the others, it's them, and

1139
00:53:32,281 --> 00:53:34,361
Speaker 3: getting to the core of yeah they did this, but

1140
00:53:34,481 --> 00:53:35,601
Speaker 3: why does it affect me?

1141
00:53:36,481 --> 00:53:40,561
Speaker 1: Right? So yeah, so that sort of work. Yes, love

1142
00:53:40,601 --> 00:53:44,001
Speaker 1: love love. I am an actor. So I am an

1143
00:53:44,041 --> 00:53:46,321
Speaker 1: actor and I always will be and it will always

1144
00:53:46,361 --> 00:53:50,641
Speaker 1: be my passion. That's my purpose for work like this

1145
00:53:50,721 --> 00:53:52,721
Speaker 1: is you know, coaching and doing all of that is

1146
00:53:52,761 --> 00:53:55,841
Speaker 1: what is what this profile has enabled me to do.

1147
00:53:57,201 --> 00:54:00,121
Speaker 1: But yeah, I love telling stories. I will always be

1148
00:54:00,481 --> 00:54:04,881
Speaker 1: the actor. Yeah, so yeah, my future looks like that,

1149
00:54:05,081 --> 00:54:10,401
Speaker 1: looks like standing on stages speaking, looks like radio, television

1150
00:54:12,441 --> 00:54:13,321
Speaker 1: and coaching.

1151
00:54:13,561 --> 00:54:14,721
Speaker 2: Would you like to do a movie?

1152
00:54:15,121 --> 00:54:19,641
Speaker 1: Yeah, totally absolutely. Yeah, you look like you've got something

1153
00:54:19,721 --> 00:54:20,201
Speaker 1: dummed up.

1154
00:54:22,401 --> 00:54:24,201
Speaker 2: I'm just trying to put up because now I've got

1155
00:54:24,201 --> 00:54:26,001
Speaker 2: to know you. I'm just trying to picture, as I said,

1156
00:54:26,401 --> 00:54:28,641
Speaker 2: like I had a few little things that I could

1157
00:54:28,641 --> 00:54:30,601
Speaker 2: picture you doing. But yeah, I'm just trying to picture

1158
00:54:30,601 --> 00:54:33,201
Speaker 2: a movie. And it's a shame really because that's as

1159
00:54:33,201 --> 00:54:36,441
Speaker 2: I said, like, you're such a nice person. Now I've

1160
00:54:36,481 --> 00:54:39,161
Speaker 2: seen you and and I feel for you that you've

1161
00:54:39,201 --> 00:54:41,921
Speaker 2: you've put so much effort since a one character, and

1162
00:54:41,961 --> 00:54:45,761
Speaker 2: that that efforts and loyalty as has made you not

1163
00:54:45,801 --> 00:54:47,081
Speaker 2: go further than what you should have gone.

1164
00:54:47,201 --> 00:54:51,481
Speaker 3: Yeah, horses, get me on horseback, let me be, let

1165
00:54:51,481 --> 00:54:52,281
Speaker 3: me be a cowgirl.

1166
00:54:53,161 --> 00:54:55,401
Speaker 1: I want to do that. I really want to be

1167
00:54:55,441 --> 00:54:59,201
Speaker 1: on the Cloud's daughters. Neil, get your mind out of

1168
00:54:59,201 --> 00:54:59,561
Speaker 1: the gutter.

1169
00:55:02,241 --> 00:55:08,121
Speaker 2: You have to go back to din. Just make just

1170
00:55:08,161 --> 00:55:09,960
Speaker 2: make sure I don't see you on only fans. Please.

1171
00:55:11,561 --> 00:55:16,721
Speaker 1: Well, look, if all that was fail, like my feet

1172
00:55:16,721 --> 00:55:20,041
Speaker 1: are great, I've had people really want my feet. Yeah,

1173
00:55:20,201 --> 00:55:21,521
Speaker 1: what do you mean you've had people? What do you

1174
00:55:21,561 --> 00:55:24,321
Speaker 1: mean you've I have people sending me photos of my feet?

1175
00:55:24,641 --> 00:55:25,921
Speaker 2: How they got pictures of your feet?

1176
00:55:25,961 --> 00:55:28,601
Speaker 3: They've screenshot pictured and enlarged it and.

1177
00:55:28,841 --> 00:55:31,441
Speaker 2: They got how they got close enough to get your feet?

1178
00:55:32,001 --> 00:55:33,641
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I mean. Like they're a bit fuzzy,

1179
00:55:33,721 --> 00:55:35,641
Speaker 1: but they're like I love your feet, or they're not fuzzy,

1180
00:55:35,641 --> 00:55:36,161
Speaker 1: they're quite good.

1181
00:55:36,561 --> 00:55:37,361
Speaker 2: What are they asking for?

1182
00:55:38,081 --> 00:55:41,641
Speaker 3: Can you send me? Can you can I buy?

1183
00:55:42,361 --> 00:55:45,481
Speaker 1: I wanted to ask me to send them pairs of

1184
00:55:45,521 --> 00:55:48,281
Speaker 1: sockets that were worn, and I'm like, I'm going to

1185
00:55:48,321 --> 00:55:49,321
Speaker 1: put my price up here.

1186
00:55:50,001 --> 00:55:51,881
Speaker 3: I'm still send them dirty socks, no worries.

1187
00:55:52,441 --> 00:55:53,081
Speaker 2: What was your price?

1188
00:55:53,721 --> 00:55:57,081
Speaker 1: I was really still very minimal, Like it was about

1189
00:55:57,081 --> 00:55:57,881
Speaker 1: five hundred bucks.

1190
00:56:01,081 --> 00:56:01,561
Speaker 3: They're going to.

1191
00:56:01,601 --> 00:56:04,681
Speaker 1: Test it, you know, if they want to buy, comes

1192
00:56:04,721 --> 00:56:07,401
Speaker 1: off from five hundred bugs. Anyway, I didn't go through

1193
00:56:07,441 --> 00:56:08,601
Speaker 1: because it's like, this is creepy.

1194
00:56:08,721 --> 00:56:09,321
Speaker 2: That's creepy.

1195
00:56:09,321 --> 00:56:09,961
Speaker 1: This is creepy.

1196
00:56:10,081 --> 00:56:15,601
Speaker 2: Yeah, says I'm going.

1197
00:56:15,601 --> 00:56:17,001
Speaker 1: To go with the feet. It could be a fist.

1198
00:56:17,681 --> 00:56:23,960
Speaker 1: What a fist? Not a fast get your mind after God? No,

1199
00:56:24,001 --> 00:56:29,841
Speaker 1: I did not say fists. I said God, what's with

1200
00:56:30,001 --> 00:56:34,561
Speaker 1: people saying fists. It's like from the studio he wants

1201
00:56:34,561 --> 00:56:38,801
Speaker 1: to talk about fists anyway.

1202
00:56:39,041 --> 00:56:42,161
Speaker 3: Describe you in one word, but the word that comes

1203
00:56:42,201 --> 00:56:43,161
Speaker 3: first is passionate.

1204
00:56:44,001 --> 00:56:44,761
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1205
00:56:44,361 --> 00:56:46,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the word that just jumped to my mind.

1206
00:56:48,201 --> 00:56:49,601
Speaker 3: What's a word for you that comes to mind?

1207
00:56:49,681 --> 00:56:56,681
Speaker 1: Loyal Yeah, to a fault, Yeah, discerning, I've learned discernment.

1208
00:56:57,521 --> 00:56:58,961
Speaker 3: Discernment is so important.

1209
00:56:59,601 --> 00:57:03,001
Speaker 1: Do you find that, Like I was way too trusting

1210
00:57:03,841 --> 00:57:05,921
Speaker 1: and I would always trust people until you show me

1211
00:57:05,961 --> 00:57:10,321
Speaker 1: you can't. I can't trust you. But yeah, I let

1212
00:57:10,401 --> 00:57:12,520
Speaker 1: people stay in my lives too long, in my life

1213
00:57:12,521 --> 00:57:12,921
Speaker 1: too long?

1214
00:57:13,201 --> 00:57:15,281
Speaker 2: Yeah, after the same if done the same.

1215
00:57:15,361 --> 00:57:20,281
Speaker 1: Yeah, so and I really yeah, it's amazing. Do you

1216
00:57:20,321 --> 00:57:25,721
Speaker 1: know what in the last two years, I've had like

1217
00:57:25,801 --> 00:57:31,401
Speaker 1: a really good, solid handful of lifelong friends And I'm

1218
00:57:31,401 --> 00:57:35,881
Speaker 1: talking forty five year friendships and I can count there

1219
00:57:36,081 --> 00:57:41,121
Speaker 1: are so everything from forty five that the shortest one

1220
00:57:41,161 --> 00:57:47,281
Speaker 1: was say fourteen fifteen years. Seven people gone in my life.

1221
00:57:47,321 --> 00:57:51,321
Speaker 1: Those friendship's gone. And I'm like, you know when I

1222
00:57:51,361 --> 00:57:53,841
Speaker 1: look back and it's like this veil lifted.

1223
00:57:55,041 --> 00:57:58,121
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel you feel you I've been there.

1224
00:57:58,201 --> 00:57:59,001
Speaker 1: How did I not?

1225
00:57:59,281 --> 00:58:01,801
Speaker 3: And then you hear other people go, yeah, I couldn't

1226
00:58:01,881 --> 00:58:04,921
Speaker 3: understand that friendship. And then it's a reflection.

1227
00:58:04,561 --> 00:58:08,121
Speaker 1: Of me, the five closest, right, you're the result of

1228
00:58:08,161 --> 00:58:13,521
Speaker 1: the five Yeah what what? But there's just another layer.

1229
00:58:13,721 --> 00:58:15,201
Speaker 1: It's just another layer of me.

1230
00:58:15,441 --> 00:58:20,601
Speaker 2: They're just sucking you everything early, I've been there, done that. Yeah,

1231
00:58:21,281 --> 00:58:23,121
Speaker 2: I think I've only got like I can count maybe

1232
00:58:23,121 --> 00:58:25,321
Speaker 2: three loyal friends on my fingers. That's it.

1233
00:58:25,561 --> 00:58:30,161
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I've me too, like maybe two.

1234
00:58:30,561 --> 00:58:32,321
Speaker 2: And the unusually, if I get a phone call off

1235
00:58:32,361 --> 00:58:34,641
Speaker 2: somebody out of the blue, it's like, what are you after?

1236
00:58:35,481 --> 00:58:35,601
Speaker 1: You know?

1237
00:58:35,641 --> 00:58:37,161
Speaker 2: I mean, have you been for the last twelve months?

1238
00:58:37,281 --> 00:58:37,521
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1239
00:58:37,681 --> 00:58:38,161
Speaker 2: You know what I mean?

1240
00:58:38,241 --> 00:58:40,521
Speaker 3: So it's I know, But then it comes in yeah

1241
00:58:40,641 --> 00:58:40,961
Speaker 3: I know.

1242
00:58:42,441 --> 00:58:47,601
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you it's like sometimes being trying to live

1243
00:58:47,641 --> 00:58:51,241
Speaker 1: consciously and with self awareness and all of that and

1244
00:58:51,481 --> 00:58:55,481
Speaker 1: holistically and taking responsibility for how you feel and stuff.

1245
00:58:55,521 --> 00:58:57,521
Speaker 1: There's a certain expectation. My mom and I were talking

1246
00:58:57,521 --> 00:58:59,881
Speaker 1: about it. There's a certain expectation that I have friends,

1247
00:59:00,241 --> 00:59:03,681
Speaker 1: and that's my fault. I have an expectation because they

1248
00:59:03,761 --> 00:59:05,361
Speaker 1: let me down. People are going to let you. If

1249
00:59:05,401 --> 00:59:07,921
Speaker 1: you expect have expectations, you're going to be let down.

1250
00:59:07,961 --> 00:59:11,761
Speaker 1: But there's there's that sort of unspoken expectation because you've

1251
00:59:11,761 --> 00:59:16,201
Speaker 1: been friends for so long. Yeah, And I always had

1252
00:59:16,201 --> 00:59:18,321
Speaker 1: that thing too with trust, like why do you want

1253
00:59:18,321 --> 00:59:19,721
Speaker 1: to know me? Why do you want to be friends?

1254
00:59:19,801 --> 00:59:23,961
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm the same, I'm the same. Questions are going

1255
00:59:24,001 --> 00:59:25,721
Speaker 2: through my head every time. Why why you want to

1256
00:59:25,721 --> 00:59:26,481
Speaker 2: Why this? Why that?

1257
00:59:26,841 --> 00:59:29,841
Speaker 1: Yeah? And then when you're not working out here, it's

1258
00:59:29,841 --> 00:59:32,241
Speaker 1: a tiny little glimmer of something that looks exciting, and

1259
00:59:32,281 --> 00:59:33,521
Speaker 1: their message.

1260
00:59:33,161 --> 00:59:35,441
Speaker 2: When you can't give them something that they want, it's

1261
00:59:35,521 --> 00:59:37,801
Speaker 2: they're not there. But when they're some, when you're back

1262
00:59:37,841 --> 00:59:39,601
Speaker 2: in the picture, it's like wolf.

1263
00:59:40,201 --> 00:59:44,801
Speaker 1: Yeah exactly, And so yeah, it's really yeah, And I've

1264
00:59:44,841 --> 00:59:46,721
Speaker 1: really looked into that too, because.

1265
00:59:46,841 --> 00:59:48,561
Speaker 2: Well, that's the way of life now, That's that's how

1266
00:59:48,601 --> 00:59:53,081
Speaker 2: it is now. It's that's everyone's most of ninety percent

1267
00:59:53,161 --> 00:59:56,841
Speaker 2: of your friends, so called friends are users. Yeah.

1268
00:59:57,001 --> 00:59:58,641
Speaker 3: Yeah, but then if.

1269
00:59:58,481 --> 01:00:03,161
Speaker 1: You were to benefit them, that's right. But you know,

1270
01:00:03,201 --> 01:00:05,921
Speaker 1: you broaden the lens and if you look at not

1271
01:00:06,961 --> 01:00:07,881
Speaker 1: I don't put myself.

1272
01:00:07,961 --> 01:00:09,361
Speaker 3: I don't sit at tables.

1273
01:00:08,961 --> 01:00:12,041
Speaker 1: Where when I get up the talk of the table,

1274
01:00:12,081 --> 01:00:15,761
Speaker 1: however that phrase goes. But I'm not afraid to be alone.

1275
01:00:16,001 --> 01:00:19,481
Speaker 1: I won't settle for less than my You know, I

1276
01:00:19,521 --> 01:00:23,121
Speaker 1: won't settle for less because I just want to be

1277
01:00:23,161 --> 01:00:25,641
Speaker 1: part of something. Of course, we are wired for connection,

1278
01:00:26,881 --> 01:00:30,641
Speaker 1: but I'm quite prepared to work on myself and then

1279
01:00:30,681 --> 01:00:32,641
Speaker 1: that brings in the people that are right for me.

1280
01:00:33,601 --> 01:00:33,921
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1281
01:00:34,081 --> 01:00:35,121
Speaker 3: But it's been like.

1282
01:00:35,081 --> 01:00:39,481
Speaker 1: This, this this clearing of the slate in a massive,

1283
01:00:39,601 --> 01:00:44,441
Speaker 1: massive way. And even one of them, I was staying

1284
01:00:44,481 --> 01:00:48,881
Speaker 1: with them and they're bitchy, bitchy, but then they I

1285
01:00:48,921 --> 01:00:51,401
Speaker 1: get it, I get a voice note that's not meant

1286
01:00:51,441 --> 01:00:54,961
Speaker 1: for me, but it's about me, right, Like that's that's

1287
01:00:55,001 --> 01:00:58,921
Speaker 1: that's what I mean, these kind of explosive end to relationships.

1288
01:00:58,921 --> 01:01:02,201
Speaker 1: And it's like, well, the universe is just doing its thing,

1289
01:01:02,921 --> 01:01:04,681
Speaker 1: just clearing the slate because they are not meant to

1290
01:01:04,681 --> 01:01:06,321
Speaker 1: come with me into the next stage. Yeah.

1291
01:01:06,601 --> 01:01:08,081
Speaker 2: Well, I want to say thank you for coming in

1292
01:01:08,481 --> 01:01:11,841
Speaker 2: because I've enjoyed this conversation and I've enjoyed this little

1293
01:01:11,881 --> 01:01:14,001
Speaker 2: interview that we've done, and I'm glad that I eventually

1294
01:01:14,041 --> 01:01:16,521
Speaker 2: got you on my podcast, even though I told you

1295
01:01:16,561 --> 01:01:19,201
Speaker 2: to go to the wrong bloody place there, but you

1296
01:01:19,281 --> 01:01:22,001
Speaker 2: eventually got here, which is good because I've enjoyed this

1297
01:01:22,241 --> 01:01:24,521
Speaker 2: for Lee and I you know what, this has made

1298
01:01:24,561 --> 01:01:27,081
Speaker 2: my day. So I'm glad you came.

1299
01:01:27,321 --> 01:01:28,561
Speaker 3: Oh, thank you so much.

1300
01:01:29,601 --> 01:01:32,641
Speaker 1: I know I've really enjoyed it too, and I appreciate

1301
01:01:33,081 --> 01:01:36,001
Speaker 1: I don't know, just this, this I felt quite free

1302
01:01:36,041 --> 01:01:37,241
Speaker 1: to share with you, you know.

1303
01:01:37,281 --> 01:01:39,281
Speaker 3: And it's yeah, so it's.

1304
01:01:39,161 --> 01:01:42,241
Speaker 2: As I said to a start, I like, I like

1305
01:01:42,281 --> 01:01:44,441
Speaker 2: people just come in and be themselves. It's this not

1306
01:01:44,481 --> 01:01:46,441
Speaker 2: an interview. It's just sitting down like we've known each

1307
01:01:46,441 --> 01:01:47,121
Speaker 2: other for years.

1308
01:01:47,001 --> 01:01:47,401
Speaker 1: You know what I mean.

1309
01:01:47,441 --> 01:01:49,321
Speaker 2: That's how I like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, So I'm

1310
01:01:49,361 --> 01:01:51,361
Speaker 2: glad you were relaxed and you told your story.

1311
01:01:51,561 --> 01:01:54,841
Speaker 3: Yeah, thanks for persisting, Thanks for chasing me.

1312
01:01:56,041 --> 01:01:57,561
Speaker 1: I tried to go back on a conversation.