1 00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:05,440 Speaker 1: From my personal opinion, if you stay somewhere to keep 2 00:00:05,519 --> 00:00:08,920 Speaker 1: your relationship, it's because you know that it might not 3 00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:14,159 Speaker 1: last or might not work. Hi, everybody, welcome back to 4 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:17,919 Speaker 1: Tuesday's episode of Hotter than Yesterday? How are we all 5 00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:21,640 Speaker 1: no hangover scaries for me today? I know, let's all 6 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:23,680 Speaker 1: tap each other on the back. I wish I could 7 00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:26,840 Speaker 1: say the same about yesterday. Yesterday was probably like up there, 8 00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:30,160 Speaker 1: probably top five worst hangovers I've ever had in my life. 9 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:34,320 Speaker 1: I felt like I lived like six lives in my 10 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:36,240 Speaker 1: life on Friday night. 11 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:37,840 Speaker 2: Oh guys, it was so bad. 12 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:40,920 Speaker 1: I've also come to realize my toxic trait when I 13 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:44,880 Speaker 1: go out is over promising and telling people I will 14 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:49,360 Speaker 1: do things with them. Like I on Friday night, I 15 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:53,000 Speaker 1: told someone, well, I agreed to flight to Lebanton. 16 00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:58,280 Speaker 2: The next morning at ten am, Did I go to Lebanton? 17 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:01,160 Speaker 1: No, I'm still in London. But it's just something I 18 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:04,959 Speaker 1: can't help do. I always over promise and like I 19 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,679 Speaker 1: meet new people and I'm like, you're the best person 20 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:08,040 Speaker 1: I've ever met in my life. Like they go like, 21 00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:09,320 Speaker 1: do you want to come here? And I'm like yes, 22 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:12,680 Speaker 1: And then I weirdly have to ghost all of these 23 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:15,160 Speaker 1: plus four four numbers the next day, because I have 24 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:17,720 Speaker 1: no clue how I met you, no clue how you 25 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:23,000 Speaker 1: have my phone number, and I can't bear few to 26 00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:24,800 Speaker 1: ever see me again because I don't know in the 27 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:28,320 Speaker 1: state that you saw me. But it's a lovely day 28 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:30,679 Speaker 1: here in London. London Fashion Week is about to kickof, 29 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:33,160 Speaker 1: and I'm actually going to a few shows, which I'm like. 30 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:35,640 Speaker 2: Really excited about. But I thought we would. 31 00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:39,440 Speaker 1: Answer some dilemmas because they are everyone's cult favorite here. 32 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:41,360 Speaker 2: We just love a dilemma series. 33 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:44,520 Speaker 1: We love a dilemma episode, and I got sent quite 34 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:46,080 Speaker 1: a few of them, so I thought it was time 35 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:49,280 Speaker 1: to clock in, do some dilemmas, have a little chat, 36 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:53,840 Speaker 1: and just bond over everyone's life problems at the moment, 37 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:55,520 Speaker 1: because I know so many people are going through so 38 00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:58,080 Speaker 1: many different things and we can all feel less alone 39 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:01,480 Speaker 1: in this situation. So we're not fucking around here. Let's 40 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:09,840 Speaker 1: just dive straight into it. Dilemma number one. My dream 41 00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:12,840 Speaker 1: job is overseas for three years, a huge career jump. 42 00:02:12,919 --> 00:02:15,560 Speaker 1: My long term partner refuses to move. Do I accept 43 00:02:15,639 --> 00:02:18,160 Speaker 1: and risk losing the relationship, turn it down, or go 44 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:21,720 Speaker 1: away and attend a long distance relationship. By the way, 45 00:02:21,919 --> 00:02:26,200 Speaker 1: love you first of all, Love you too. And my 46 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:29,960 Speaker 1: housemates are actually in the room hiding. I locked them 47 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:31,880 Speaker 1: in the door because I don't like people listening to 48 00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:35,040 Speaker 1: me while I record. But they're in a long distance relationship. 49 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:37,959 Speaker 1: They first did long distance from Adelaide to Gold Coast 50 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:40,480 Speaker 1: and now they do long distance between Gold Coast and 51 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:46,320 Speaker 1: London and being around them and just like being I 52 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,720 Speaker 1: feel like in my industry, there weirdly are along a 53 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:53,800 Speaker 1: lot of long distance relationships because I work around like 54 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:55,960 Speaker 1: a lot of models or influencers and stuff, and people 55 00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:59,480 Speaker 1: travel in my industry travel quite a lot, and from 56 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:02,320 Speaker 1: speaking to a lot of people, and like, from my 57 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:07,880 Speaker 1: personal opinion, if you stay somewhere to keep your relationship, 58 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:10,880 Speaker 1: it's because you know that it might not last or 59 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:14,040 Speaker 1: might not work, and you're going to go through so 60 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:16,040 Speaker 1: many things. If this is your life person, you are 61 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:18,760 Speaker 1: going to go through so many struggles within your whole life, 62 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:22,000 Speaker 1: and so many things that your relationship hardship that your 63 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:26,480 Speaker 1: relationship will face. And if it doesn't work in long distance, 64 00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:28,520 Speaker 1: then they're not the person for you. But if you 65 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:31,280 Speaker 1: stay out of fear of losing them, you're then going 66 00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:32,120 Speaker 1: to resent them for. 67 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:32,919 Speaker 2: The rest of your life. 68 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:37,480 Speaker 1: As you said, this is like a huge dream career opportunity. 69 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:42,360 Speaker 1: Do not stay in that country because your partner doesn't 70 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:44,680 Speaker 1: want to move with you. If they want to support 71 00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:47,960 Speaker 1: you but not move with you, and you say you're 72 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,520 Speaker 1: going to give it a go, then give it a 73 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:51,720 Speaker 1: go long distance. But don't stay out of fear of 74 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:55,800 Speaker 1: losing someone, because that you staying will turn into resentment 75 00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:59,720 Speaker 1: and you will resent them because you didn't accept your 76 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:02,920 Speaker 1: career opportunity. And if you're in your early twenties, mid twenties, 77 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:06,000 Speaker 1: late twenties, don't give up something that you really want 78 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:08,320 Speaker 1: to do for somebody else, because at the end of 79 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:10,840 Speaker 1: the day, the only person that you really have your 80 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:14,600 Speaker 1: whole life is yourself, and you need to prioritize yourself. 81 00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:15,920 Speaker 2: You need to put yourself first. 82 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:20,000 Speaker 1: And it's not worth saving a relationship because your relationship 83 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,760 Speaker 1: will last if it's meant to last. Everything happens for 84 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:25,159 Speaker 1: a reason, and if it doesn't last, then there's someone 85 00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:25,839 Speaker 1: better out. 86 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:26,200 Speaker 2: There for you. 87 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:28,560 Speaker 1: And I know obviously you not thinking about that right now, 88 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:32,919 Speaker 1: but it's the truth. So have that career jump, babe, 89 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:36,880 Speaker 1: have that career opportunity living in another city, experiencing another 90 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:38,800 Speaker 1: way of life, because home will always be there, but 91 00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:41,960 Speaker 1: this opportunity won't, and you'll kick yourself in their foot 92 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,720 Speaker 1: and always wonder what if if you didn't accept it, 93 00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:47,000 Speaker 1: And you have to go experience that for yourself, and 94 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:49,200 Speaker 1: nobody else is going to teach you anything else besides 95 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:53,839 Speaker 1: yourself really in this opportunity. So one hundred percent, go 96 00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:56,400 Speaker 1: take that fucking job, beach. 97 00:04:57,160 --> 00:05:01,960 Speaker 2: Okay, Dilemma number two. So this is a long one. Well, 98 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:03,440 Speaker 2: wab we love a long one to welcome. 99 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:05,640 Speaker 1: My ex boyfriend and I were together for about two 100 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,719 Speaker 1: and a bit years. We had a great relationship, but 101 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:09,880 Speaker 1: he moved across to the other side of the world 102 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,400 Speaker 1: for school. We try to do long distance, but after 103 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:14,159 Speaker 1: about a week he brought up how hard the time 104 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:16,320 Speaker 1: difference has been and that we should focus on ourselves, 105 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:19,640 Speaker 1: which we agreed on even if it hurt. Again, really mature, 106 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:22,080 Speaker 1: proud of you for doing that. It was a best 107 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:24,120 Speaker 1: for both of us. Now backtrack a little bit. I 108 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:26,440 Speaker 1: was a really supportive girlfriend through it all, to the 109 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:28,599 Speaker 1: point where it was hurting me knowing he was leaving, 110 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:30,680 Speaker 1: but I wouldn't say anything because it's his dream to 111 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:31,360 Speaker 1: live in America. 112 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:32,440 Speaker 2: Proud of you. 113 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:34,719 Speaker 1: That is really hard to do, but as he said, 114 00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:36,640 Speaker 1: it's his dream and he needs to follow through with that, 115 00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:39,560 Speaker 1: and I'm so proud of you for being supportive. I 116 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,720 Speaker 1: made him a priority to make sure he knew I 117 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,960 Speaker 1: was okay with him leaving, even though deep down I 118 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:45,880 Speaker 1: was mad that after so long he could just leave 119 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:48,680 Speaker 1: me behind. I also get that frustration, but I'm so 120 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:52,359 Speaker 1: proud of you for again putting his dreams first, because 121 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:54,400 Speaker 1: you knew he really wanted to do that, and if 122 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:56,800 Speaker 1: you didn't, then he would resent you, and then your 123 00:05:56,839 --> 00:06:00,000 Speaker 1: relationship would end out of resentment. So I'm proud of you, 124 00:06:00,279 --> 00:06:02,599 Speaker 1: even though it was really hard and you didn't prioritize yourself. 125 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:04,800 Speaker 2: But it's been about. 126 00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:06,520 Speaker 1: A month since he left and three weeks since we 127 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:09,279 Speaker 1: broke up, and I knew I was absolutely not looking 128 00:06:09,279 --> 00:06:11,560 Speaker 1: to get into another relationship. But this guy has come 129 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:14,760 Speaker 1: out of nowhere and I actually really like him a breath. 130 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:15,120 Speaker 2: Of fresh air. 131 00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:17,680 Speaker 1: My brain is going all over the place about him. 132 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:20,200 Speaker 1: We've also been on one day and planning another, but 133 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:23,159 Speaker 1: I am also house sitting in his joining. I feel 134 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:25,400 Speaker 1: like a monster that I've already met someone three weeks 135 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:28,240 Speaker 1: after my two year long relationship as well. Always loved 136 00:06:28,279 --> 00:06:30,479 Speaker 1: my ex. Is it wrong with me to be talking 137 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:32,960 Speaker 1: to this guy? I would always say, we both agreed 138 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:35,920 Speaker 1: not to rule out a future relationship, to which I 139 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,159 Speaker 1: also agree. But now that I think of, I'm not 140 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:39,880 Speaker 1: putting my life on hold until. 141 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:42,120 Speaker 2: He comes home. Okay, I've got a few things to 142 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:46,880 Speaker 2: unpack him. First of all, you have with this new guy. 143 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:51,799 Speaker 1: I never say, like, I don't agree on the saying 144 00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:53,720 Speaker 1: of like when is too soon to move on for 145 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:56,000 Speaker 1: a relationship, because I just like, if you meet someone, 146 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,560 Speaker 1: you meet someone and like you can't help that. But 147 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:04,039 Speaker 1: I then say, put yourself in their shoes. If you 148 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,479 Speaker 1: met someone who had just gotten out of a two 149 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:09,200 Speaker 1: year relationship and the only reason why you guys broke 150 00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:11,880 Speaker 1: up was because of long distance, not because you fell 151 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:15,360 Speaker 1: out of love or something bad happened, would you want 152 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:19,120 Speaker 1: to pursue that guy? Does that make sense? Because it's 153 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:21,960 Speaker 1: like you have also said that you still love your boyfriend, 154 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:24,800 Speaker 1: and like if your boyfriend flew back tomorrow, would you 155 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:26,280 Speaker 1: run back to your ex boyfriend? 156 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:29,480 Speaker 2: Like, yes, he may be really, really nice. 157 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,880 Speaker 1: But you just have to put yourself in those shoes 158 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:34,600 Speaker 1: and be like, no, I probably wouldn't want to date 159 00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:37,640 Speaker 1: them because they're obviously not owing to their ex, Like 160 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:40,520 Speaker 1: maybe they're using me to get over their ex and 161 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,040 Speaker 1: they're not properly healed. 162 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:44,160 Speaker 2: And I always say you should always be properly healed 163 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:44,640 Speaker 2: before you. 164 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:46,680 Speaker 1: Get into your next relationship because you don't want to 165 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:50,080 Speaker 1: carry things over into that relationship and like almost use 166 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:52,760 Speaker 1: it against them because it's not somebody else's problem to 167 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:55,239 Speaker 1: fix your relationship trauma. Like, even if you got cheated 168 00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:58,000 Speaker 1: on in your last relationship, it's not that person. The 169 00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:01,120 Speaker 1: next person that you start dating was ability to fix that. 170 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:03,240 Speaker 1: You have to do the inner work, even though yes 171 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,760 Speaker 1: you aren't the one who cheated. You got cheated on, 172 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:08,119 Speaker 1: but you have to do the inner work to allow 173 00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:11,000 Speaker 1: yourself to get over that and to overcome that trauma 174 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,080 Speaker 1: because it's not their fault that they that happened to you. 175 00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:16,640 Speaker 1: It fucking sucks it happened to you, but you can't 176 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:18,880 Speaker 1: use that against the new person that you meet or 177 00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:21,400 Speaker 1: the future that you want to build with that person. So, 178 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:23,600 Speaker 1: as you said, you still really love your ex and 179 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:27,800 Speaker 1: you're not necessarily over him, take it slow, like if 180 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:30,200 Speaker 1: you enjoy this guy's company and everything like that, just 181 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:33,440 Speaker 1: like see how it happens. But also just be open 182 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:36,920 Speaker 1: and honest with yourself. Are you the only reason why 183 00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:40,120 Speaker 1: you're enjoying this guy's company is because you're lonely. And 184 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:42,520 Speaker 1: if you're lonely, then don't jump into relationship just to 185 00:08:42,559 --> 00:08:46,079 Speaker 1: feel time and to feel space. You have to ask 186 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:49,360 Speaker 1: yourself these questions and if you can't answer them or 187 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:54,400 Speaker 1: you're like denying certain things, then like maybe it's not right. 188 00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:56,680 Speaker 1: But then if you feel like something's right and you 189 00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:58,600 Speaker 1: want to play it out, then like play it out. 190 00:08:59,120 --> 00:08:59,760 Speaker 2: You know what I mean? 191 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:04,960 Speaker 1: And I one hundred percent agree of like saying like, oh, 192 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:07,640 Speaker 1: don't rule out a future relationship, and YadA, YadA, YadA. 193 00:09:07,679 --> 00:09:09,559 Speaker 1: I always think when you break up, you need to 194 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:12,439 Speaker 1: rule out the thought of future relationship even if you 195 00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:15,439 Speaker 1: do guys end up coming back together one day, Don't 196 00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:17,880 Speaker 1: ever think that. Don't ever say that because it will 197 00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:20,720 Speaker 1: stop yourself from properly getting over them and properly healing 198 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:23,320 Speaker 1: with them. And like I'm speaking from experience, like when 199 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:25,800 Speaker 1: me and my ex broke up, like we always said like, oh, 200 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:27,400 Speaker 1: we just need to go off and change and grow 201 00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:30,120 Speaker 1: for a little bit and everything like that. And even 202 00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:31,720 Speaker 1: like when you stay in touch and stuff like that, 203 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,320 Speaker 1: you always subconsciously in the back of your mind, whether 204 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:36,880 Speaker 1: you want to admit it or not holding out or 205 00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:39,360 Speaker 1: like you may stop yourself from doing certain things or 206 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:43,000 Speaker 1: meeting that person or doing that thing, whether whatever that 207 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,080 Speaker 1: thing is is because you're like, is this going to 208 00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:49,199 Speaker 1: impact the future of him wanting me back? And I'm 209 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:50,680 Speaker 1: not going to go on this date or I'm not 210 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:54,040 Speaker 1: going to go here because I know that Johnny won't 211 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:56,640 Speaker 1: like it, and so I'm not going to do it. 212 00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:59,440 Speaker 1: But if you guys are meant to fall back together, 213 00:09:59,679 --> 00:10:02,679 Speaker 1: what happens in your past shouldn't happen. And I don't 214 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:05,320 Speaker 1: think that you can properly allow yourself to experience life 215 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:10,120 Speaker 1: and move on from things when you still maybe subconsciously 216 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:13,880 Speaker 1: in the back of your mind, have them in it 217 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:15,720 Speaker 1: because you're like, oh, well, we might get back together. 218 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:19,240 Speaker 1: And like, I know that I wasted so many opportunities 219 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:21,720 Speaker 1: and like so much of my healing journey, like getting 220 00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:24,040 Speaker 1: over my ex, because like I would always be like, 221 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:26,520 Speaker 1: oh well, I'm not going to do that because I 222 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:28,320 Speaker 1: don't want to lead that person on because like what 223 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:31,079 Speaker 1: if me and my ex get back together? And I 224 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:33,440 Speaker 1: like shot myself in the foot with so many lovely 225 00:10:33,559 --> 00:10:38,319 Speaker 1: guys or like opportunities because I was like, oh, well, 226 00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:40,520 Speaker 1: that might ruin my like that might ruin me and 227 00:10:40,559 --> 00:10:42,400 Speaker 1: such and such getting back together, which is just so 228 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:45,679 Speaker 1: stupid because I also knew that, like I didn't want 229 00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:49,120 Speaker 1: him back, but I cared about what he thought, if 230 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:52,960 Speaker 1: that made sense. So I think, just like, follow what 231 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:56,079 Speaker 1: you want, but like, also be really honest with your 232 00:10:56,120 --> 00:11:01,160 Speaker 1: feelings and don't push them aside because of the thought 233 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:05,839 Speaker 1: that he might come back or just like a bit 234 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:07,600 Speaker 1: of a this guy's just a bit of a distraction, 235 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:09,360 Speaker 1: Like you said your house sitting and stuff like that, 236 00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:11,760 Speaker 1: Like are you only doing that because you want the 237 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:14,080 Speaker 1: company or do you actually really like him? And I 238 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:15,800 Speaker 1: think that you just need to be open and honest 239 00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:18,480 Speaker 1: with yourself and like I can't answer that for you, 240 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:20,240 Speaker 1: but I'm putting those questions in your mind to make 241 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:23,480 Speaker 1: you question it and even general about it and read 242 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:25,560 Speaker 1: it back and then kind of come from a conclusion 243 00:11:25,679 --> 00:11:26,160 Speaker 1: from there. 244 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:29,400 Speaker 2: Okay, this girl goes. 245 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:31,520 Speaker 1: This guy I went on seven dates with across the 246 00:11:31,559 --> 00:11:33,880 Speaker 1: second half of last year, which ended due to him 247 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:37,320 Speaker 1: traveling overseas without a planned return date. He still overseas, 248 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:39,280 Speaker 1: but I can't get over him. We still like each 249 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:41,120 Speaker 1: other story every couple of months. 250 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:41,880 Speaker 2: But what should I do? 251 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:44,480 Speaker 1: Do I message him or wait until he hopefully returns 252 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:47,640 Speaker 1: home to Melbourne? Please, we are crushing out, Okay? I 253 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,440 Speaker 1: think you just message him and just be like hey, 254 00:11:49,679 --> 00:11:52,200 Speaker 1: or like if you post a story of like him traveling, 255 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:53,720 Speaker 1: being like, oh my god, you look like you're having 256 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:55,840 Speaker 1: so much fun, and like, who's to say you can't 257 00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:58,480 Speaker 1: stay in contact and like be friendly. So then if 258 00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:00,400 Speaker 1: you want to like reconnect with him when you get 259 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:02,320 Speaker 1: back to Melbourne, you can like pick it up. But 260 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,280 Speaker 1: with that also be aware that he might not reply 261 00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:07,600 Speaker 1: twenty four to seven. You might not be talking the 262 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:09,439 Speaker 1: whole time, but like, if you want to speak to him, 263 00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:11,640 Speaker 1: speak to him like you're not locked in. He's not 264 00:12:11,679 --> 00:12:14,120 Speaker 1: locked in and ended because you were traveling, but you 265 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:17,400 Speaker 1: obviously are still on each other's mind. And I would 266 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:20,200 Speaker 1: call seven dates a bit of a situationship. Situationships are 267 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:22,880 Speaker 1: sometimes harder to get over because you're still in love 268 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:25,120 Speaker 1: with the potential of what could have been, not what 269 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:28,400 Speaker 1: it was, because you guys never probably dated. So if 270 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:30,520 Speaker 1: you want to like keep talking to him, there's nothing wrong, 271 00:12:30,559 --> 00:12:32,600 Speaker 1: but you like yeah, can't get mad about anything that 272 00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:37,480 Speaker 1: he's doing, if that makes sense, because he is still traveling. 273 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:39,040 Speaker 1: So if you want to stay in contact and like 274 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:40,960 Speaker 1: keep up with him and like be friendly and like 275 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:42,800 Speaker 1: have a bit of a flirt here and there, like 276 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:45,480 Speaker 1: do your thing because like nothing was locked in and 277 00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:48,000 Speaker 1: if you still want to like pick up like where 278 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:50,120 Speaker 1: things left off when he does get back to Melbourn, 279 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:52,560 Speaker 1: I think it is like fine to like talk to 280 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:55,560 Speaker 1: him and like be friendly and like still stay on 281 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:57,880 Speaker 1: his mind, if that makes sense, Like still show that 282 00:12:57,960 --> 00:12:59,920 Speaker 1: like you're interested, but like you know, nothing's going in 283 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:04,160 Speaker 1: where right now because of him traveling, but like let 284 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:06,920 Speaker 1: him know that, like you're still interested in speaking to him, 285 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:10,040 Speaker 1: and you can have a friendly chat, Like who cares, 286 00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:13,360 Speaker 1: I would say, have a friendly chat. Like there are 287 00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:15,480 Speaker 1: people that like I was speaking to you before I 288 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:18,240 Speaker 1: came here, and like we'll still like exchange a few 289 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:20,080 Speaker 1: messages here and there a couple times a week, but 290 00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:22,520 Speaker 1: like it's not serious, but like I still want to 291 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:23,760 Speaker 1: be in their life and they still want to be 292 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:26,120 Speaker 1: in mine, so like we can still chat even though 293 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:28,880 Speaker 1: I've been over here for six months, like never saying ever, 294 00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:31,000 Speaker 1: and sometimes things are a bit more of a slow burn, 295 00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:34,280 Speaker 1: and he's obviously like having an amazing life experience right 296 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:36,320 Speaker 1: now that you should still if you want to like 297 00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:38,920 Speaker 1: pick things up, like you should still be able to 298 00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:40,559 Speaker 1: be a part of that, maybe not as a girlfriend 299 00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:43,920 Speaker 1: or someone he's seeing, but like a friend or everything 300 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,920 Speaker 1: like that. And if you do it in like a 301 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,199 Speaker 1: chill way, he might even like like it more, be like, Oh, 302 00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:50,480 Speaker 1: she's super chill, like she's super supportive of everything I'm 303 00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:52,240 Speaker 1: doing right now, Like, yeah, I'd love to message her 304 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:54,320 Speaker 1: when she gets back. I would one hundred percent like 305 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:56,400 Speaker 1: just like reply it with cheeky story or be like, 306 00:13:56,679 --> 00:13:58,640 Speaker 1: oh my god, that food looks so good, or like 307 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,920 Speaker 1: if he like puts like a men what do they do? 308 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:03,520 Speaker 1: They like put photos up of like a fucking sunset 309 00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:07,360 Speaker 1: and be with the boys, or crazy hostel story being like, oh, like, 310 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:11,120 Speaker 1: how's a hostile life or how's the traveling treating you? 311 00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:13,600 Speaker 1: Or if it's like a story of food, just be 312 00:14:13,679 --> 00:14:19,040 Speaker 1: like looks fucking bustin', you know, actually no, don't say that, 313 00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:21,680 Speaker 1: Say something like. 314 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:23,800 Speaker 2: Oh what is that? 315 00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:25,880 Speaker 1: Or where is that if he doesn't like have the 316 00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:28,800 Speaker 1: geo tag, or it'll be like or like if it's 317 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,960 Speaker 1: like a really nice place, you could be like, we'll 318 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:34,240 Speaker 1: have to go back there one day. That's that's kind 319 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:36,720 Speaker 1: of cheeky. I'm a really bad blurt, so I don't 320 00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:39,080 Speaker 1: really know what I'm doing. I really can't help you 321 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:46,800 Speaker 1: with it. Yeah, next one, I was dumped about a 322 00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:49,360 Speaker 1: month ago. We weren't together overly long, but it was 323 00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:52,480 Speaker 1: my first healthy, easy, go with a flow adult relationship. 324 00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:55,560 Speaker 1: It felt different to all my others. I'm really struggling 325 00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:57,680 Speaker 1: with his breakup. It's been the healthiest I've ever had, 326 00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:00,440 Speaker 1: and no idea what to do with my emotions. All 327 00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:03,080 Speaker 1: my previous ones as edited and yelling or cheating or 328 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:05,120 Speaker 1: something where it wasn't it was easy for me to 329 00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:06,000 Speaker 1: hate them and move on. 330 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:07,360 Speaker 2: This is so different. 331 00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:09,760 Speaker 1: My dilemma is, I guess we've both said you never 332 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:12,400 Speaker 1: know right person, wrong time, hope you find each other again, etc. 333 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:12,800 Speaker 2: Etc. 334 00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:15,480 Speaker 1: But I'm struggling between my head and my heart because 335 00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:18,040 Speaker 1: I'm some consciously holding out hope for someone who's never 336 00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:20,240 Speaker 1: really going to come back. How do I really get 337 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:22,840 Speaker 1: over that and move on? How do I stop the 338 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:26,160 Speaker 1: subconscious feeling, even when consciously I can be logical about it. 339 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,760 Speaker 2: You know, in conclusion, I'm sad. I miss him. 340 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:31,160 Speaker 1: At times, I sit in hope and wonder, and I 341 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:33,800 Speaker 1: don't know how to stop holding out hope and wondering because, 342 00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:35,840 Speaker 1: like I said, it was my first healthy breakup and 343 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:37,280 Speaker 1: I still have no idea. 344 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:40,840 Speaker 2: What to do with my emotions someday. That fucking sucks. 345 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:43,560 Speaker 1: And I always say that, like healthy breakups, the hardest 346 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:47,080 Speaker 1: to get over over something bad. Like if you break 347 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:49,640 Speaker 1: up because like someone cheated or something did really wrong, 348 00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:51,720 Speaker 1: or it was a toxic relationship, you know that that 349 00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:53,600 Speaker 1: relationship is not right for you. So that's why you 350 00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:56,240 Speaker 1: can walk away from that with your head held high 351 00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:58,200 Speaker 1: and like it's easy not to go back because you 352 00:15:58,240 --> 00:15:59,880 Speaker 1: look like an idiot if you went back to it. 353 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,280 Speaker 2: But if it's when it's a healthy. 354 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,200 Speaker 1: Relationship, it's like, there was no reason for me to 355 00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:06,040 Speaker 1: hate them, and when you hate someone, it's easy to 356 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:09,280 Speaker 1: get over them. And that was me with my last relationship. 357 00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:12,560 Speaker 1: Like nothing necessarily bad happened. It was probably a little 358 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:15,480 Speaker 1: bit toxic towards the end, but our most toxic time 359 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:17,560 Speaker 1: was when we were broken up because we had no 360 00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:20,280 Speaker 1: reason to get mad at each other for certain things, 361 00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:23,080 Speaker 1: but we did because we were still in contact sometimes. 362 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,920 Speaker 1: But like the real like what really made me get 363 00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:28,240 Speaker 1: over him was that he did something wrong. And then 364 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,000 Speaker 1: once he did something wrong or something that I no 365 00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:32,400 Speaker 1: longer stood for, it was easy for me to walk away. 366 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:35,440 Speaker 1: But don't let yourself get to that point. Sit in 367 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:38,360 Speaker 1: the fucking sadness. Cry your heart out, go on a 368 00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:41,560 Speaker 1: drive and listen. Listen to Olivia Rodrigo, Like, allow yourself 369 00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:43,760 Speaker 1: to sit in that sadness, because the more and more 370 00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:46,200 Speaker 1: you push your emotions down, the more and more it's 371 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,160 Speaker 1: going to come up. Lay it down the track, and 372 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,520 Speaker 1: you want to heal first and heal earlier, so. 373 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:53,840 Speaker 2: Then you don't fucking drag it out. And I dragged 374 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:54,040 Speaker 2: it out. 375 00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:56,800 Speaker 1: I distracted myself for so long and then it hit 376 00:16:56,880 --> 00:17:01,480 Speaker 1: me like fucking seven months later, and I was fucking miserable. Bro, Like, 377 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:04,640 Speaker 1: I was so sad, like months and months later because 378 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,800 Speaker 1: I didn't allow myself to sit in the sadness. And 379 00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:10,359 Speaker 1: I promise you, the sadness will become easier, and it 380 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:14,919 Speaker 1: will become less frequent, and it will become smaller, and 381 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:17,160 Speaker 1: it won't be these big blow ups and these big sadnesses, 382 00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:19,760 Speaker 1: but you literally, and I know everyone. 383 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:20,800 Speaker 2: Says it, it just takes time. 384 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:23,320 Speaker 1: It does, but you have to sit with the sadness, 385 00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:25,520 Speaker 1: and you have to sit with the emotions, and you 386 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:29,479 Speaker 1: just have to fucking cry. And I said earlier, like, 387 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:34,119 Speaker 1: tell yourself it's fucking over. Stop telling yourself, oh holding out, hope, 388 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:35,840 Speaker 1: it's babe, it's fucking over. 389 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:38,119 Speaker 2: I'm so sorry. If you guys. 390 00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:40,639 Speaker 1: Wanted to work through it and you wanted to push 391 00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:43,159 Speaker 1: past the hard part and you wouldn't have broken up, 392 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:47,280 Speaker 1: but you did because clearly something in your relationship wasn't 393 00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:49,960 Speaker 1: strong enough and it wasn't worth fighting for, and that 394 00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:52,320 Speaker 1: is why you broke up. Do not read the same 395 00:17:52,359 --> 00:17:55,520 Speaker 1: book and expect a different outcome, Like you might get 396 00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:58,320 Speaker 1: back together out of comfort and out of boredom, but 397 00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:00,560 Speaker 1: do not read the same book and expect a different 398 00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:04,200 Speaker 1: outcome period, like you're not getting back together. I'm sorry 399 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:06,600 Speaker 1: to be a fucking cunt. You're not going to You're not. 400 00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:09,520 Speaker 1: There's someone better and bigger out there. And if you 401 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:12,520 Speaker 1: loved that person who wasn't right for you, imagine how 402 00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:14,400 Speaker 1: much you're going to love the right person. 403 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:15,600 Speaker 2: And just like. 404 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:19,000 Speaker 1: Hold out hope for that, don't settle for something that 405 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,280 Speaker 1: is not right for you because out of fear of 406 00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:24,879 Speaker 1: being alone. Like, there is so much good about being single, 407 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,080 Speaker 1: There is so much good about finding yourself and learning 408 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,760 Speaker 1: to love yourself and being alone. Fall in love with that, 409 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:32,240 Speaker 1: but version of yourself. Don't fall in love with anything else. 410 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:33,880 Speaker 2: Like hold out. 411 00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:36,639 Speaker 1: Hope, and yes it may be hard, and yes it 412 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:41,159 Speaker 1: will be hard, and surround yourself with friends, plan some things, 413 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:43,800 Speaker 1: but do not go back. And do not hold out 414 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:45,840 Speaker 1: hope because you don't want to read the same book 415 00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:46,879 Speaker 1: and acceept a different outcome. 416 00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:50,360 Speaker 2: You'll just break up again. Sorry, next dilemma. 417 00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:52,280 Speaker 1: I feel like this is a very dating dilemma. But 418 00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:54,120 Speaker 1: we like all love dating here, so we're just gonna. 419 00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:54,880 Speaker 2: Chat, all right. 420 00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:58,240 Speaker 1: I was dating my high school sweetheart since I was fifteen. 421 00:18:58,359 --> 00:19:01,159 Speaker 1: I am about twenty now. Recently just broke up and 422 00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:05,320 Speaker 1: I found out he cheated on me twice. Fuck that's 423 00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:09,040 Speaker 1: fucking heavy, I would say though throughout our relationship it 424 00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:11,119 Speaker 1: was very toxic, but I never had the courage to 425 00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:14,359 Speaker 1: leave because I loved him so much. Not that anything bad, 426 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:16,919 Speaker 1: just an immature boy. I was dealing with who didn't 427 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:20,080 Speaker 1: know what the yes and no should be in a relationship. 428 00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:23,200 Speaker 1: After breaking up, he was pretty much ringing me every night. 429 00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:25,560 Speaker 1: We still go to the same gym, I still see 430 00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:27,720 Speaker 1: him most nights. I'm really finding it hard to still 431 00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:30,000 Speaker 1: be in contact with him, even though he's my best friend. 432 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,399 Speaker 1: I don't feel like I'm ready to have a relationship 433 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:34,560 Speaker 1: with him yet, saying that I don't want to be 434 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:37,160 Speaker 1: rude and just ignore him because I don't care about him. 435 00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:39,880 Speaker 1: So I just need help on what to do. I've 436 00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:42,119 Speaker 1: tried to say no, that I can't talk to you 437 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,399 Speaker 1: as much as I want to and I need space, 438 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,760 Speaker 1: but he's really upset about the whole situation, and I'm 439 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:49,000 Speaker 1: not someone who can really stand up for myself and 440 00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:52,040 Speaker 1: hold the ground. What do you think, Okay, I'm gonna 441 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:55,320 Speaker 1: hold your hand when I say this. He is just 442 00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:57,600 Speaker 1: trying to stop you from moving on. And once he 443 00:19:57,680 --> 00:20:01,480 Speaker 1: has healed himself, and once he's over it, he will 444 00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:04,040 Speaker 1: treat you like shit again and you will still be 445 00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:07,000 Speaker 1: dealing with the consequences because you have put his feelings 446 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:10,159 Speaker 1: in front of yours. He cheated on you, He literally 447 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:13,480 Speaker 1: cheated on you. You shouldn't have any respect for this guy, 448 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:16,240 Speaker 1: and know you have so many emotions and like you 449 00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:18,359 Speaker 1: so have so much love for him, and you still 450 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,520 Speaker 1: clearly loved him. He dated you, You guys dated for 451 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:23,280 Speaker 1: a really, really long time, but he disrespected you. He 452 00:20:23,359 --> 00:20:26,880 Speaker 1: disrespected you more than once twice. You need to turn 453 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:31,639 Speaker 1: that into anger and get over him before anything else, 454 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:34,159 Speaker 1: because the second he is healed and the second he 455 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:37,120 Speaker 1: has found somebody else, the person that's hurting is going 456 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:40,639 Speaker 1: to be you, and you prioritized his emotions over yours. 457 00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:42,760 Speaker 1: The only way you can get over this, and the 458 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:45,399 Speaker 1: only way you can heal with this is stop speaking 459 00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:48,480 Speaker 1: to him. You will not heal yourself from continuing to 460 00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:53,280 Speaker 1: speak to him, because your brain is literally chemically attached 461 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:55,800 Speaker 1: to this man, and you will not get over him 462 00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:58,239 Speaker 1: if you continue to speak to him. Because you were 463 00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:01,360 Speaker 1: fifteen when you started him and you're now twenty, that's 464 00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:02,440 Speaker 1: five fucking years. 465 00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:02,760 Speaker 2: Of your life. 466 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:05,320 Speaker 1: It will take a while, but you need to stop 467 00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:07,960 Speaker 1: speaking to him. And the only way you can stop 468 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,840 Speaker 1: speaking to him is putting your foot through the ground. 469 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:14,120 Speaker 1: He cheated on you, not once twice. Turn that into 470 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:18,760 Speaker 1: fucking anger. He disrespected you. He made a conscious decision, 471 00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:22,280 Speaker 1: not once but twice to cheat on you. That is disrespectful. 472 00:21:22,359 --> 00:21:24,359 Speaker 1: He doesn't respect you as a person, even if he 473 00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:26,520 Speaker 1: says he does, even if he says he loves you 474 00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:28,359 Speaker 1: so much and he can't let go and he can't 475 00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:31,400 Speaker 1: lose you and everything like that, his actions say otherwise. 476 00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:33,840 Speaker 1: And think about the actions. Stop thinking about the words, 477 00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:37,800 Speaker 1: Think about the actions. A man's actions speak a thousand words. 478 00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:42,200 Speaker 1: And he did it twice once, Maybe you can forgive twice. 479 00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:46,000 Speaker 1: That's a conscious, conscious mistake, conscious choice, not a mistake. 480 00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:48,000 Speaker 1: It's not a mistake, it's a choice. And he did 481 00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:51,280 Speaker 1: it twice, So he doesn't respect you. Turn it into 482 00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:53,320 Speaker 1: fucking anger, and stop trying to be there for him 483 00:21:53,359 --> 00:21:55,439 Speaker 1: when he wasn't there for you, when he knew what 484 00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:57,320 Speaker 1: he was doing was going to hurt you, but he 485 00:21:57,359 --> 00:22:00,840 Speaker 1: still did it. Get out of their, babe, Get out 486 00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:03,919 Speaker 1: of there, and the second you do, you'll come up 487 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:07,240 Speaker 1: on top. He'll realize what he's lost. He already has. 488 00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:09,920 Speaker 1: But that's not your problem to fix. That's his problem 489 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:13,359 Speaker 1: to fix. And it's his fucking folks. He's disgusting. Thank you, 490 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:15,760 Speaker 1: thank you for my ted talk. Sorry that was really 491 00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:19,439 Speaker 1: brutal and really honest, but it's the truth and someone's 492 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:21,199 Speaker 1: got to tell it to you, and I'll be the 493 00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:21,880 Speaker 1: person who does. 494 00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:24,800 Speaker 2: So, Okay, what do you reckon I should do? 495 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,040 Speaker 1: There's this guy and we've been talking a bit, but 496 00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:29,480 Speaker 1: I'm not really ready to date because of anything, of 497 00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:31,800 Speaker 1: trauma and whatnot. I told him I don't want to 498 00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:33,960 Speaker 1: date yet and I don't want to lead him on, 499 00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:36,879 Speaker 1: but I'm stuck because he's literally the sweetest soul. Do 500 00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:38,920 Speaker 1: we get closer and get to know each other more 501 00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:42,399 Speaker 1: or what? Okay, I'm gonna hold your hand when I 502 00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:44,720 Speaker 1: say this, and again, I'm gonna be brutally honest because 503 00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:46,560 Speaker 1: we asked for dielemadaries, and I'm gonna tell you what 504 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:46,920 Speaker 1: it is. 505 00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:48,280 Speaker 2: You don't like him enough. 506 00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:53,880 Speaker 1: Everybody has trauma, everybody has issues, everybody has relationship problems, 507 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,680 Speaker 1: relationship commitments. But the right person you will not want 508 00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:59,720 Speaker 1: to leave. He is a sweet guy, and that's why 509 00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:01,760 Speaker 1: you're leading him on because you know that he's going 510 00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:05,680 Speaker 1: to be sweet, but you just clearly don't like him enough. Yes, 511 00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:08,160 Speaker 1: you may have trauma and everything like that, but if 512 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:11,000 Speaker 1: he's really sweet, then you'll want He won't be doing 513 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,520 Speaker 1: those traumas to you and everything like that, but you 514 00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:16,000 Speaker 1: kind of know that you have the power here, so 515 00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:18,119 Speaker 1: you're leading him on. And it's just as simple as 516 00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,600 Speaker 1: you just don't like him enough, and that's okay. You 517 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:22,880 Speaker 1: don't have to like everyone, and someone might be really 518 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:26,200 Speaker 1: right for you, but you don't like him enough. And 519 00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:29,399 Speaker 1: like I have this person who like we've been we 520 00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:33,160 Speaker 1: have spoken for three years, and like it's like always 521 00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:34,879 Speaker 1: like I will speak to him for a little bit 522 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:36,280 Speaker 1: and I'll give him a little bit and then I 523 00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:38,480 Speaker 1: won't speak to him for like another six months, and 524 00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:41,840 Speaker 1: I can recognize in myself that that's toxic behavior. And 525 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,920 Speaker 1: like I had a conversation with him, but I wouldn't 526 00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:47,159 Speaker 1: ever lead him on. I've never led him on. I 527 00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:50,160 Speaker 1: would always like stop speaking to him because I recognize 528 00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:52,760 Speaker 1: in myself that that was toxic behavior and he didn't 529 00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:54,600 Speaker 1: deserve that, And I would always walk away from that 530 00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:58,080 Speaker 1: because I wasn't ready to commit to someone and I 531 00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:02,119 Speaker 1: wasn't ready to give myself to someone because I didn't 532 00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:05,360 Speaker 1: want that, and I wasn't continuing to see him. I 533 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:07,840 Speaker 1: wasn't continuing to lead him on because it wasn't fair 534 00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:11,159 Speaker 1: on him because he was giving me everything I needed. 535 00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:14,359 Speaker 1: But I wasn't giving him everything he needed, so I 536 00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:17,320 Speaker 1: would stop speaking to him. And I had a conversation 537 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:20,080 Speaker 1: with that and he literally said, like, I respect that 538 00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:22,520 Speaker 1: you always did that because it was it would have 539 00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:25,080 Speaker 1: been unfair on me, and it would have been and 540 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:26,320 Speaker 1: you're doing the same. 541 00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:29,440 Speaker 2: If you are not ready to date, then don't date. 542 00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:32,439 Speaker 1: I haven't been ready to date for a long time, 543 00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:37,720 Speaker 1: and I didn't date. I haven't gone on dates this year. 544 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:39,399 Speaker 1: And then I saw I was seeing a guy, as 545 00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:42,920 Speaker 1: you guys know over here, and I wasn't ready to date. 546 00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:45,600 Speaker 1: I wasn't wanting to date, but it felt right and 547 00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:47,560 Speaker 1: it felt natural, and that's what I did. And I 548 00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:50,080 Speaker 1: wasn't then thinking about it like, oh no, I don't 549 00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:52,119 Speaker 1: want to date or I'm not ready to date, because 550 00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:54,000 Speaker 1: there was a really good person in front of me 551 00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:56,400 Speaker 1: and I didn't want to lose the opportunity to experience 552 00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:59,280 Speaker 1: a certain time in life with him, so I did 553 00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:01,560 Speaker 1: even though I wasn't ready to date. I probably had 554 00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:03,479 Speaker 1: told myself I wasn't in the mindset to date, but 555 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:06,840 Speaker 1: I did, because there's never a right time to date. 556 00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:08,639 Speaker 1: Like people say there's never a right time to have 557 00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:10,919 Speaker 1: a baby. There's never a right time to move overseas like, 558 00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:13,040 Speaker 1: nothing is ever going to be a right time. It 559 00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:15,240 Speaker 1: could just be a right person and someone that you're 560 00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:17,920 Speaker 1: willing to move mountains for, you're willing to make time for, 561 00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:19,280 Speaker 1: and everything like that. 562 00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:21,640 Speaker 2: So I just don't think you like him enough. Yes, 563 00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:22,600 Speaker 2: he's a really good guy. 564 00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:26,159 Speaker 1: And I've met so many good, good guys and like 565 00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:28,080 Speaker 1: good people that would be really good for me. 566 00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:29,600 Speaker 2: But do I like them? 567 00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:31,840 Speaker 1: No, Like, there was a guy last year at the 568 00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:35,320 Speaker 1: end of last year, and like he had no red flags, 569 00:25:35,359 --> 00:25:37,080 Speaker 1: he wasn't a bad person. He was an amazing person. 570 00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:39,560 Speaker 1: He was a really really sweet person. I couldn't find 571 00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:42,080 Speaker 1: a flaw in him. But is he the right person 572 00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:45,800 Speaker 1: for me? No, He's better off me not leading him 573 00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:47,520 Speaker 1: on and dragging him on because I knew that I 574 00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:49,600 Speaker 1: didn't want to date him properly and I wasn't wanting 575 00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:52,879 Speaker 1: to date and me leading him on would have been 576 00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:55,720 Speaker 1: unfair on him from finding someone who was ready for 577 00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:57,800 Speaker 1: that or who is willing to be that for him. 578 00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:00,800 Speaker 1: And I then think that you're the bad person and 579 00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:02,480 Speaker 1: it's not fair on you just because you want a 580 00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:04,000 Speaker 1: little bit of comfort or you want someone to hang 581 00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:06,240 Speaker 1: out with on a Sunday, like, that's unfair and you 582 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:08,720 Speaker 1: wouldn't like it if someone did that to you. So 583 00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:11,200 Speaker 1: I think sometimes as women we can be a bit toxic, 584 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:13,760 Speaker 1: and we always say like, oh men are toxic, but 585 00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:16,439 Speaker 1: like sometimes we can be too, and you always have 586 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:18,239 Speaker 1: to then put yourself in that shoes and being like 587 00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:21,720 Speaker 1: if they did that to me, would I be really 588 00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:22,439 Speaker 1: upset by that? 589 00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:26,240 Speaker 2: Probably, So it's like just not fair? Does that make sense? 590 00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:28,320 Speaker 1: I just think like if you're not ready to date, 591 00:26:28,359 --> 00:26:31,600 Speaker 1: then don't date. And if you are ready to date, 592 00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:33,520 Speaker 1: and then you're making the excuse of I don't want 593 00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:40,680 Speaker 1: to date, then you don't like him enough to date him. 594 00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:41,120 Speaker 2: Okay. 595 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:43,399 Speaker 1: I keep on getting questions about like moving to Europe, 596 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:45,840 Speaker 1: doing like a big trip and everything like that. Some 597 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:47,680 Speaker 1: girl says, I have an urge to move to Europe 598 00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:50,360 Speaker 1: for six months next year to work and travel, terrified 599 00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:52,040 Speaker 1: of not being able to find a place to live 600 00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:55,000 Speaker 1: or a job, missing my family and friends, and not being. 601 00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:55,520 Speaker 2: Able to afford it. 602 00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:58,280 Speaker 1: Please let me know any tips if you want to 603 00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:01,399 Speaker 1: have that. Obviously you need to apply for a working visa, 604 00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:03,840 Speaker 1: and I know that so many cafes and bars will 605 00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:07,240 Speaker 1: employ you anywhere in Europe, in London, in the UK 606 00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:10,080 Speaker 1: or anything like that. But I would say at the start, 607 00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:14,000 Speaker 1: go over with some savings that you may not then 608 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:16,280 Speaker 1: be employed for like a couple months. You need to 609 00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:18,919 Speaker 1: have at least a right amount of savings that you 610 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:22,600 Speaker 1: can make things work if you don't find a job 611 00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:25,439 Speaker 1: straight away. When it comes to rent, there are so 612 00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:29,280 Speaker 1: many places on Facebook. Join a few Facebook groups to 613 00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:31,439 Speaker 1: find a place to live, rent a room and everything 614 00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:33,200 Speaker 1: like that. There are so many people that like lease 615 00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:36,480 Speaker 1: their rooms over summer because they are traveling and stuff 616 00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:39,880 Speaker 1: like that. Find a short term lease and everything like that, 617 00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:41,959 Speaker 1: you will be able to find it. So I wouldn't 618 00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:44,280 Speaker 1: stress about a com but have that organized before you 619 00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:45,200 Speaker 1: come over here. 620 00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:48,760 Speaker 2: And I know, missing famili is really really hard. 621 00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:51,680 Speaker 1: Like my brother turns thirty this week and they threw 622 00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:54,200 Speaker 1: him a big surprise birthday over the weekend and stuff 623 00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:56,480 Speaker 1: like that. And like you do miss out in certain 624 00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:59,800 Speaker 1: things and miss out on your family, but in your 625 00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:02,600 Speaker 1: two it is a really good time to prioritize yourself 626 00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:06,000 Speaker 1: and if your family is in good health and everything 627 00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:07,960 Speaker 1: like that, it's a blessing to be able to miss 628 00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:10,199 Speaker 1: someone and know that people love and miss like to 629 00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:11,800 Speaker 1: miss them, and that you love them and that you 630 00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:15,400 Speaker 1: want to come but you will want to come home. 631 00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:17,160 Speaker 1: And like, of course I miss my family, I miss 632 00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:19,880 Speaker 1: my friends, I like miss so many people, but right 633 00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:22,400 Speaker 1: now they're all in good health, and I know that 634 00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:25,560 Speaker 1: there are just a twenty seven hour playing flight home, 635 00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:27,639 Speaker 1: And yes, that does seem like a long time, but 636 00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:29,480 Speaker 1: in the big scheme of things, it's not. And if 637 00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:31,320 Speaker 1: you really need to go home, you'll be home in 638 00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:34,879 Speaker 1: just over a day. And it's a blessing to miss people, 639 00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:38,160 Speaker 1: and it's a blessing to have people in your circle 640 00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:43,120 Speaker 1: that you do miss, but don't stop that from getting 641 00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:45,280 Speaker 1: life experiences and learning and growing. 642 00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:46,400 Speaker 2: I've learnt so. 643 00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:49,600 Speaker 1: Much, Like it feels like I've lived five years in 644 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:51,480 Speaker 1: the six months that I've been away from home, I've 645 00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:53,920 Speaker 1: learnt so much about myself. I've come back with such 646 00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:56,000 Speaker 1: a different outlook on life. And I wouldn't have had 647 00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:58,760 Speaker 1: that if I stayed in my comfort zone. And being 648 00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:02,080 Speaker 1: in your comfort zone, yes, is comfortable, but it's not 649 00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:03,600 Speaker 1: going to make you grow. It's not going to make 650 00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:06,240 Speaker 1: you push yourself. It's not going to make you find 651 00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:08,720 Speaker 1: out what you like in life and what you want 652 00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:10,680 Speaker 1: to do and if you don't have a full time 653 00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:13,040 Speaker 1: job and everything like that, fucking do it. 654 00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:14,440 Speaker 2: Just fucking do it. 655 00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:17,400 Speaker 1: You'll be so grateful and like, who's to say, Yeah, 656 00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:19,280 Speaker 1: you want your plan to go for six months, If 657 00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:21,640 Speaker 1: you come home in three, you're not a failure. If 658 00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:23,520 Speaker 1: you come home in two. If you go for a 659 00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:26,040 Speaker 1: month and you don't even end up getting a job, 660 00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:30,360 Speaker 1: who cares. But I will always preach to everyone of 661 00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:32,400 Speaker 1: fucking doing it. A full time job will always be 662 00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:33,680 Speaker 1: there when you get home. If you need to get 663 00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:35,960 Speaker 1: a full time job, your family will be there when 664 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:39,440 Speaker 1: you get home, everything will be there. Like I always 665 00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:43,360 Speaker 1: call my housemate Lily when I'm like feeling sad and everything. 666 00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:46,440 Speaker 1: She was like, Sam, don't come home. You're fucking staying 667 00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:49,040 Speaker 1: there because I guarantee you. The second you line back 668 00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:53,720 Speaker 1: in Melbourne, you'll realize that nothing's changed. Everything's still the same. Literally, 669 00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:56,280 Speaker 1: everything is still the same. Like I've gone on month 670 00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:58,840 Speaker 1: long trips to like America, and I've flown home thinking 671 00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:01,640 Speaker 1: that so much it would have gone down nothing nothing, 672 00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:04,640 Speaker 1: Like I know everything I go back to in Melbourne, 673 00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:06,520 Speaker 1: I'll be like, why did I miss this so much? 674 00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:07,440 Speaker 2: Because it's still the. 675 00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:11,040 Speaker 1: Exact same, So just do it, plan ahead, work your 676 00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:12,640 Speaker 1: little butt off if you want a plan to go, 677 00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:16,880 Speaker 1: so you have, like I would say, respectfully, have like 678 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:19,800 Speaker 1: seven to ten k in your bank account, because that 679 00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:21,840 Speaker 1: means you do not have to get a job straight 680 00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:24,959 Speaker 1: over when you get here, and you can do things cheaply. 681 00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:27,440 Speaker 1: I don't really have advice on doing things like that 682 00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:29,720 Speaker 1: because I don't think I have necessarily done it in 683 00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:32,400 Speaker 1: a very money savvy way. But I'm very blessed to 684 00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:34,120 Speaker 1: be in a position where I didn't have to worry 685 00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:36,960 Speaker 1: about that. But I recognize in your twenties you might 686 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:38,560 Speaker 1: need to do that, So I would say, have a 687 00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:41,680 Speaker 1: significant amount of savings I would say comfortably seven to 688 00:30:41,720 --> 00:30:44,880 Speaker 1: ten k, so that you're not fucking leaving paycheck to 689 00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:47,160 Speaker 1: paycheck the second you get over here, so you can 690 00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:50,840 Speaker 1: do some fun things not have to worry about that 691 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,520 Speaker 1: and everything like that the second you get over here. 692 00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:57,840 Speaker 1: But yeah, I haven't done a little bit of a 693 00:30:57,880 --> 00:31:02,479 Speaker 1: hard truth in a long time. And I actually made 694 00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:05,200 Speaker 1: a TikTok about this and I was like, fuck, that 695 00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:08,560 Speaker 1: is so fucking true, and I just want to leave 696 00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:15,520 Speaker 1: on this. Healing made me private growth made me picky, 697 00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:20,560 Speaker 1: and peace made me unbothered, and that is what I'm 698 00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:23,960 Speaker 1: preaching for the next six months before I find something better. 699 00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:25,560 Speaker 2: But it's just so true. 700 00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:28,720 Speaker 1: Healing made me not want to overshare because when I overshared, 701 00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:32,280 Speaker 1: it hurt. Growth made me picky because now I know 702 00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:34,880 Speaker 1: what I want. I've grown, I know my self worth, 703 00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:36,720 Speaker 1: I know what is right for me and what's wrong 704 00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:41,400 Speaker 1: for me. And peace getting over those tough situations, getting 705 00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:44,800 Speaker 1: over hardship, getting over a heartbreak and everything like that. 706 00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:47,480 Speaker 1: I've now found peace and I know that I can 707 00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:51,000 Speaker 1: overcoming again if something is faced to me. So I'm unbothered. 708 00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:52,560 Speaker 1: I'm not going to let someone do that to me. 709 00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:56,040 Speaker 1: I'm when unbothered queen and everyone needs. 710 00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:56,360 Speaker 2: To adopt that. 711 00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:59,480 Speaker 1: But yeah, thank you guys so much for joining a 712 00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:03,600 Speaker 1: Little Dilemma Diary. I will see you guys next week 713 00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:04,880 Speaker 1: on heart of than yesterday. 714 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:10,600 Speaker 2: See you Tuesday. Bye,