1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:03,160 Speaker 1: This is the Fitsy and Whipper with Kate Richie podcast. 2 00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:05,680 Speaker 2: Very lucky to have this man in the studio, doctor 3 00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:09,000 Speaker 2: Billy Yarvey. He's a pediatrician. He's had over twenty years 4 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:13,680 Speaker 2: of experience. He specializes in children and their child development, 5 00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:16,640 Speaker 2: mental health, and he's got a brand new book out. 6 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:19,920 Speaker 2: It's called Ten Things I Wish You Knew about your 7 00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:21,119 Speaker 2: Child's Mental Health. 8 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:24,760 Speaker 1: And he joins us now, doctor Bell Relay, thank you. 9 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:26,400 Speaker 1: Maybe it's great to have you in here. When you 10 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:28,160 Speaker 1: were in here last time, I think it was sort 11 00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:32,320 Speaker 1: of late November, the parents listening were hanging off every 12 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:34,320 Speaker 1: word and it became a battle to get on to 13 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:36,199 Speaker 1: ask you a question. So we throwed out there again 14 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:38,760 Speaker 1: today thirteen twenty four ten. If you do have a 15 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:42,120 Speaker 1: question for doctor Billy Garvey, by all means, give us 16 00:00:42,159 --> 00:00:45,440 Speaker 1: a call. Ask doctor Billy. He is here with us today. Mate. 17 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:48,920 Speaker 1: We're fascinated by what you do. And as parents we analyze. 18 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:52,680 Speaker 1: I think we sometimes overanalyze our kids' behaviors. But what 19 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,400 Speaker 1: are the sort of the concerns and some of the 20 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:56,800 Speaker 1: main themes you're seeing with parents at the moment. 21 00:00:57,400 --> 00:01:00,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean a lot of stress, stress, stress, a lot. 22 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:02,920 Speaker 3: It's a big difference generationally now, Like we know the 23 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,040 Speaker 3: influence that how we are with our kids is going 24 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:07,440 Speaker 3: to carry them through the rest of their life. But 25 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:09,360 Speaker 3: I think a lot of people feel lost in terms 26 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:11,040 Speaker 3: of how do I do that well? How do I 27 00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:13,560 Speaker 3: respond to them when they're struggling? What are the bits 28 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:16,280 Speaker 3: that I need to prioritize. Yeah, and there's a lot 29 00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:18,880 Speaker 3: of kids that are really struggling. It's actually, you know, 30 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:22,160 Speaker 3: ourweight list is actually increasing. I work at a big, 31 00:01:22,319 --> 00:01:24,639 Speaker 3: one of the biggest tertiary pediatric hospitals in the world, 32 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:27,280 Speaker 3: and our weight list is actually getting longer. And I'm 33 00:01:27,319 --> 00:01:30,240 Speaker 3: seeing more kids struggling now than I was back in 34 00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:30,880 Speaker 3: the pandemic. 35 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:32,760 Speaker 1: Do you know as a parent too, it and fits. 36 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:34,959 Speaker 1: I'm sure you've come across this. I think one of 37 00:01:34,959 --> 00:01:38,080 Speaker 1: the major concerns is around communication too. So it becomes 38 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:41,559 Speaker 1: almost the parent's job to try and work out why 39 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:45,360 Speaker 1: my kid has suddenly become really quiet and not that 40 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:48,840 Speaker 1: open to talking. And I think, you know, and then 41 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:51,400 Speaker 1: you sit there sort of analyzing, thinking what's wrong with them? 42 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:52,680 Speaker 1: Did something happen at school? 43 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:52,880 Speaker 4: No? 44 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:54,760 Speaker 1: Did something happen with your brother? 45 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:55,000 Speaker 4: No? 46 00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:58,160 Speaker 1: You know, that's really hard for a parent not knowing 47 00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:00,440 Speaker 1: what might be going on emotionally for a child. 48 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:03,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, the trick is you can't, especially younger kids, you 49 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:07,000 Speaker 3: can't directly ask them, you know, because yeah, as you 50 00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:10,400 Speaker 3: probably both know through parenting, anytime you put pressure into something, 51 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:13,200 Speaker 3: it usually gets worse. And so trying to be calm 52 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:16,000 Speaker 3: and non judgmental and just curious and thinking about what's 53 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:18,880 Speaker 3: changed and what's going on. But I mean you both 54 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,679 Speaker 3: know this well, it's all about what you do outside 55 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:23,600 Speaker 3: of the tough times. How you build the strength of 56 00:02:23,639 --> 00:02:26,720 Speaker 3: that relationship and that unconditional trust is really important. And 57 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:28,400 Speaker 3: I think a lot of parents who have kids that 58 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:31,679 Speaker 3: are struggling really focus on it and just go Every 59 00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:33,800 Speaker 3: single time I'm with this kid, I'm asking, hey, what's up? 60 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:35,680 Speaker 3: How can you shutting down? Can you not talking to me? 61 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:37,840 Speaker 3: How can you so angry all the time? And the 62 00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:39,920 Speaker 3: kids like this is the only time. This is all 63 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:43,960 Speaker 3: of my parents interacts with me about is like writing me. 64 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:47,040 Speaker 3: Whereas the strength of the relationship is built in times 65 00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:49,760 Speaker 3: of calm and joy and you know, love and all 66 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:51,440 Speaker 3: the stuff that matters. But it's the same as all 67 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:53,440 Speaker 3: of us, you know what I mean, Like if every 68 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:55,959 Speaker 3: time I caught up with you, I was like hassling 69 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,919 Speaker 3: about something. You'd be like, I'm not that keen. 70 00:02:58,639 --> 00:03:00,120 Speaker 1: No, I don't want to see that going again, get 71 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:00,919 Speaker 1: him out of the studio. 72 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:04,919 Speaker 2: Top Well, doctor Billy, We've started an initiative called thirty 73 00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:08,080 Speaker 2: six Months, which is thirty six months, which is extending 74 00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:10,639 Speaker 2: the age of getting on too social media for young 75 00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:13,680 Speaker 2: kids from thirteen to the age of sixteen. And would 76 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:17,880 Speaker 2: you see in the children that you see, in the 77 00:03:17,919 --> 00:03:21,120 Speaker 2: families that you see, doctor Billy, how much does social 78 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:23,120 Speaker 2: media contribute to their mental health? 79 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:24,200 Speaker 1: Yeah? 80 00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:26,680 Speaker 3: It's you actually frame that beautifully. So yeah, there's a 81 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:30,080 Speaker 3: great vulnerability in it. There's actually a great vulnerability in 82 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:33,040 Speaker 3: it for all of us. Yeah. I don't know about 83 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:36,640 Speaker 3: both of you, but I We've got an amazing community 84 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:39,400 Speaker 3: on social media around the podcast and now the book 85 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:41,840 Speaker 3: because essentially I went off and did a Churchill fellowship. 86 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:44,280 Speaker 3: How do we use media? Well, how do we use 87 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:46,720 Speaker 3: it to give people evidence based information they can use 88 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,200 Speaker 3: to support their kids and their mental health. But we 89 00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:51,360 Speaker 3: still get every so often that someone who's chipping in, 90 00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:53,320 Speaker 3: who has a go it's something I've said, or has 91 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,840 Speaker 3: a go it's something a parent has said, and it's 92 00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:59,040 Speaker 3: pretty awful, and I really struggle with that. And it's 93 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:01,560 Speaker 3: even harder for our kids to navigate that space and 94 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:05,280 Speaker 3: think about, you know, someone's just bullied me, or someone's 95 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:08,040 Speaker 3: showed me content it's not appropriate, or that's scared me, 96 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:11,120 Speaker 3: or something like that. And it's really hard because there's 97 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:13,840 Speaker 3: this world now that we can't see that kids are 98 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:16,120 Speaker 3: a part of, and it makes it really difficult to navigate. 99 00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:19,440 Speaker 1: Doctor Billy, thank you for being a support of thirty 100 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:21,440 Speaker 1: six months, because we've used you as a sounding board 101 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:24,560 Speaker 1: and we've referenced to you as well. But I you know, 102 00:04:24,839 --> 00:04:29,000 Speaker 1: we've been extremely specific with thirty six months because it's 103 00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:34,080 Speaker 1: such a hot topic, and that hot topic around screen time, internet, 104 00:04:34,279 --> 00:04:37,800 Speaker 1: there are so many elements of that, and we have said, no, 105 00:04:37,839 --> 00:04:41,080 Speaker 1: we're not against mobile phones, we're not against social media 106 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:44,760 Speaker 1: as well. We're just against that age group. We're against 107 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:48,479 Speaker 1: that age group of kids aged thirteen to sixteen and 108 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:51,839 Speaker 1: that thirty six months period and that crucial development of 109 00:04:51,839 --> 00:04:54,680 Speaker 1: the young mind. You know what's going on in that 110 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:58,839 Speaker 1: mind when they're such young teens. You know, that's such 111 00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:01,880 Speaker 1: a challenging time life, and that's what we need to protect. 112 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:05,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, really challenging time, you know, especially when you start 113 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:08,080 Speaker 3: entering high school. It's like we see a lot of 114 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:10,760 Speaker 3: kids that struggle. You know, we're still seeing lots of 115 00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:13,680 Speaker 3: kids that every week still haven't returned to school in 116 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,320 Speaker 3: that age bracket since the pandemic. 117 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:16,119 Speaker 1: Is that right? 118 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:19,719 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's because you know, there's a big window of 119 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:23,440 Speaker 3: potential anxiety there about their forming who they feel about, 120 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:25,479 Speaker 3: you know, how they feel about themselves and who they are, 121 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:28,880 Speaker 3: and their peers become a bigger influence than us during 122 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:31,440 Speaker 3: that window. So they look around and go, do I 123 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:34,640 Speaker 3: fit in? Am I valued? Am I succeeding? What am 124 00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:36,839 Speaker 3: I good as? Am I part of a community? Do 125 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,880 Speaker 3: I have peers that you know support me? And if 126 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:42,919 Speaker 3: some of those answers and no in their own minds, 127 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:46,359 Speaker 3: they'll often withdraw and shut down. And it's a really 128 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:48,760 Speaker 3: tough window. And I see lots of kids that are 129 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:51,039 Speaker 3: really struggling in that age bracket with mental illness and 130 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:52,080 Speaker 3: anxiety and depression. 131 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:55,479 Speaker 2: But Billy, you're a very humble man. I'd love to 132 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:58,599 Speaker 2: ask a personal question. Have you had any kids that 133 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:02,279 Speaker 2: have come back later down the track and thank you 134 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:05,160 Speaker 2: personally for sorting their life out, like how much does 135 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:05,880 Speaker 2: that mean to you? 136 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:06,800 Speaker 4: Yeah? 137 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:10,880 Speaker 3: Massively? Like yeah, massively. That's why, Like I don't think 138 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:14,560 Speaker 3: what I do is is that generous, because it's like 139 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:17,719 Speaker 3: it's such a rewarding, such a rewarding job, Like and 140 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:20,719 Speaker 3: I Yeah, I'll often give a talk or something and 141 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:23,080 Speaker 3: I'll say something and then someone will be like I 142 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:25,320 Speaker 3: met you ten years ago or something, and I'm like, God, 143 00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:26,080 Speaker 3: I hope this is going. 144 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:26,200 Speaker 1: To be. 145 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:34,599 Speaker 3: A good comment after I've just been talking for an hour. Yeah, 146 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:36,480 Speaker 3: so I had it happened to me recently. Actually it 147 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:39,680 Speaker 3: was beautiful because this mum I was talking about little 148 00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:41,599 Speaker 3: babies and I was saying, we run this clinic and 149 00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:44,280 Speaker 3: we're all about like it's it's you know, you decide 150 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,520 Speaker 3: when you're ready to leave the clinic, and we're really 151 00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:49,000 Speaker 3: supportive and we learn with you, like how this baby 152 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:51,240 Speaker 3: needs to be supported and all that stuff. And then 153 00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:53,520 Speaker 3: this mom is like, yeah, nine years ago I was 154 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:55,479 Speaker 3: in that clinic and was, oh my god, this is 155 00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:57,719 Speaker 3: really going to prove weather and she's like yeah, and 156 00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:00,200 Speaker 3: it was beautiful and I got this lovely child. I 157 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:02,400 Speaker 3: was really struggling back then, and there's a whole team 158 00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:04,479 Speaker 3: around that Clisch. I can't take most of the credit. 159 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:04,800 Speaker 3: That's you. 160 00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:07,640 Speaker 2: That's you writing a song, isn't it. That's that's the 161 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:10,360 Speaker 2: satisfaction that you get out of your job, doctor Bill. 162 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:11,760 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I mean, if you guys can find me 163 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:13,160 Speaker 3: a pathway to being a rock star. 164 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:19,640 Speaker 1: Tomorrow, Bill, I want to get on to your book 165 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:22,440 Speaker 1: as well, but from a personal one, just being a 166 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:25,680 Speaker 1: parent like anybody else listening wanting to call up. I 167 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:29,520 Speaker 1: find it tough when i'm I'll have a kid and 168 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:31,640 Speaker 1: they'll fall over. Oh I don't know, they get hit 169 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:34,400 Speaker 1: with a tennis ball in the eye or something, and 170 00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:37,960 Speaker 1: I don't know how generous and supportive to be. And 171 00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:42,360 Speaker 1: also in my mind, I think to build resistant of resilience. 172 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:46,920 Speaker 1: Should I be tough tougher? Yeah, accepting of the moment 173 00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:48,880 Speaker 1: and going, oh mate, it stings. It doesn't hurt. It 174 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:50,600 Speaker 1: just stings now and in a minute it's going to 175 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:50,920 Speaker 1: be gone. 176 00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:53,080 Speaker 3: So there's a trick to that, and let's see how 177 00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:55,560 Speaker 3: well I can explain it. There's two elements in this, 178 00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:58,360 Speaker 3: in how you respond and actually how you support your kids. 179 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,960 Speaker 3: In every element is how warm you are and what 180 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:04,200 Speaker 3: you're demanding of them or asking of them. You can 181 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:06,040 Speaker 3: be cold or you can be warm. You can have 182 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:08,320 Speaker 3: low demand or you can have high demand. And there's 183 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,560 Speaker 3: a strong evidence of cultures all around the world in 184 00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:13,600 Speaker 3: this space. If you are cold, which I know you're not. 185 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:16,680 Speaker 3: If you're cold and you have high demand, that's the like, mate, 186 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:19,600 Speaker 3: just get up, alright, Yeah, it's nothing. 187 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:21,720 Speaker 1: Default into that. Yeah, but you're still. 188 00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:24,080 Speaker 3: You're naturally a warm person, so it's how you are 189 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:27,520 Speaker 3: all the time, not just when they're struggling. So that's cold. 190 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:30,280 Speaker 3: If you are cold and don't ask much of them, 191 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:33,520 Speaker 3: that's actually neglectful. If you're warm and don't ask much 192 00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:35,839 Speaker 3: of them, that's what we call permissive parenting. And that's 193 00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:37,839 Speaker 3: like some of your listeners won't know this, but that's 194 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:41,080 Speaker 3: the mum out of mean girls, Regina, Like, I just 195 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:43,320 Speaker 3: want to be your mate, and you know, oh my gosh, 196 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:44,840 Speaker 3: I'm so sorry that hurt. You don't need to go 197 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:47,880 Speaker 3: to school today. Everything. Yeah, and then there's you know, 198 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,559 Speaker 3: everything you do get to prize. And then there's the 199 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:55,920 Speaker 3: really beautiful parenting, which is authoritative. I am the boss 200 00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:59,920 Speaker 3: and I guide you. But warmth always comes first. You 201 00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:02,559 Speaker 3: have to you have to be warm before you can 202 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,760 Speaker 3: expect anything of a child. They have to be calm, 203 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:07,520 Speaker 3: their emotions have to be valid at it to understand 204 00:09:07,559 --> 00:09:10,360 Speaker 3: their experience. And then you can go mate. I know, 205 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:13,400 Speaker 3: I know, you can pick yourself up and you can 206 00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:16,080 Speaker 3: jump back into playground and have fun. You've done so 207 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:18,120 Speaker 3: well and you're going to we're going to learn together 208 00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:20,240 Speaker 3: how to do better at this or you know, I 209 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:22,280 Speaker 3: know school has been really tough and you don't want 210 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:24,760 Speaker 3: to go. Let's sort out how you're feeling. I'm here 211 00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:26,840 Speaker 3: for you unconditionally, but I want to get you back 212 00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:30,080 Speaker 3: there because school is a place that values you and 213 00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:31,959 Speaker 3: you're a part of that community, and I'm going to 214 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,800 Speaker 3: help you learn the skills to overcome those difficult feelings 215 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:37,400 Speaker 3: that God, you're good at what you do well, yeah, 216 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:39,720 Speaker 3: but it's I mean, you do this fantastic. 217 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:41,600 Speaker 1: Advice, but yes you do. But at times you fall 218 00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:44,120 Speaker 1: and at times it's varied. But to know that the 219 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:47,920 Speaker 1: right way forward, I think that's what parents appreciate, hearing 220 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:50,440 Speaker 1: that there is a there is a correct way of 221 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:52,680 Speaker 1: handling it. Yeah, and that is to show that warmth. 222 00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:54,480 Speaker 1: You're right and it makes perfect sense. 223 00:09:54,679 --> 00:09:58,079 Speaker 3: Well, there's no such thing as being too sensitive, do 224 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:00,559 Speaker 3: you know what I mean, because with sensitivity, you can 225 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,480 Speaker 3: really build their strengths and build their specific skills they're 226 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:06,160 Speaker 3: struggling in. And it just doesn't mean you just don't 227 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:08,880 Speaker 3: move forward. It just means you move forward together at 228 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:09,600 Speaker 3: the pace they need. 229 00:10:09,679 --> 00:10:12,760 Speaker 1: Just sure sure we have got a fullboard. 230 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:14,680 Speaker 2: We're going to come back. If you do have a 231 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:17,560 Speaker 2: question for doctor Billy Garvey, we'll get you on next. 232 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:22,360 Speaker 1: This is the Fitzian with Cape Ritchie podcast. Doctor Billy 233 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:25,079 Speaker 1: Garvey is in the studio. He's got a brand new book, 234 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:29,240 Speaker 1: Ten Things I Wish You Knew About Your Child's Mental Health. 235 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:32,800 Speaker 1: It's out now. Guys, twenty years of experience as a pediatrician, 236 00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:36,400 Speaker 1: Doctor Billy Garvey. Can I ask about the book. It's 237 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:40,520 Speaker 1: written beautifully for parents to read and to consume. So 238 00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:44,079 Speaker 1: talk to us about the book and why you've written 239 00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:44,520 Speaker 1: it like this. 240 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:46,559 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, the reason I've written the book is 241 00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:50,720 Speaker 3: because it's so hard to access evidence based information and 242 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:53,480 Speaker 3: I was asked to write it about a year ago, 243 00:10:53,559 --> 00:10:55,679 Speaker 3: and the book is written in a way that is 244 00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:59,560 Speaker 3: hopefully really accessible information about what we do in clinic 245 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:03,000 Speaker 3: with from little babies who are struggling GEP to teenagers. 246 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:05,120 Speaker 3: You know, coming into adulthood that are really having a 247 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:08,080 Speaker 3: difficult time, and I kind of try and step it through, 248 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:09,800 Speaker 3: but also tell a story. I think, I don't want 249 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:12,600 Speaker 3: it to be like this is just boring and bland 250 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,280 Speaker 3: and I'll pick it up tomorrow. 251 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:15,960 Speaker 1: Kind of feel like real life scenarios. 252 00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:18,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, they're based on there's more than ten kids in there. 253 00:11:18,559 --> 00:11:21,440 Speaker 3: That based on these beautiful kids and families that I've 254 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:24,880 Speaker 3: met over the last twenty plus years. And it talks 255 00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:27,640 Speaker 3: about like what they taught me, what I learned from 256 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:29,600 Speaker 3: kind of journeying with them, and how I use the 257 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:32,720 Speaker 3: evidence practically. It also has a lot of my story 258 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:35,760 Speaker 3: in it because that obviously I don't separate myself. I'm 259 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:38,480 Speaker 3: in clinic. I'm still there as a parent. You know, 260 00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:41,600 Speaker 3: I've got two little kids. I had a really tough 261 00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,840 Speaker 3: time growing up. My mum had a really tough time 262 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:46,480 Speaker 3: when I was growing up. So what I'm thinking about 263 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:48,400 Speaker 3: is like, what would I have done different? What was 264 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:50,600 Speaker 3: going on then for me? How could I have supported 265 00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:53,319 Speaker 3: my mom if I had the opportunity to. And you know, 266 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:55,040 Speaker 3: a lot of those kids that I meet in clinic, 267 00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:58,000 Speaker 3: I'm just trying to change their story a bit and 268 00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,199 Speaker 3: it's you know, there's a lot of evidence about how 269 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:02,040 Speaker 3: we do that. It's just really hard to access that 270 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:03,600 Speaker 3: because it's scientific journalism. 271 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:05,520 Speaker 1: Fantastic, it really is. 272 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:09,400 Speaker 2: Okay, Nicole's giving a skill from Kellyville. Nicole, you've got 273 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:10,600 Speaker 2: doctor Billy Garvey here. 274 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:15,200 Speaker 5: Yeah, hi, doctor arm I'm just wondering at home. It's 275 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:17,840 Speaker 5: always funny, you know, when the kids swear and you know, 276 00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:19,360 Speaker 5: stop their form or something, you have a bit of 277 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:21,719 Speaker 5: a giggle. But when we're out in public and it's 278 00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:25,440 Speaker 5: not appropriate, how exactly should we manage that, Like, how 279 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:27,880 Speaker 5: should we help them, support them, encourage them not to 280 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:28,360 Speaker 5: do it anymore? 281 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:29,000 Speaker 1: Good question. 282 00:12:29,679 --> 00:12:32,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, so it's really good, and it's hard I think 283 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:34,800 Speaker 3: because we unintentionally reinforce it. We have a bit of 284 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:37,680 Speaker 3: a giggle about it. But and the thing that's hard 285 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:39,840 Speaker 3: to learn, and I mean it took probably to my 286 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:42,840 Speaker 3: thirties to learn this is when is like the right 287 00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:45,480 Speaker 3: language in the right environments, And that's kind of what 288 00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:47,640 Speaker 3: you want to guide them. It's not like a hard no. 289 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,520 Speaker 3: And every family is different in what they have around this, 290 00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:52,920 Speaker 3: and you should be different. But you know, how do 291 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:54,920 Speaker 3: you guide them towards what they should be doing in 292 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:57,800 Speaker 3: that environment, you know, instead of like when you say 293 00:12:57,840 --> 00:13:00,000 Speaker 3: no to kids about anything, it doesn't actually give them 294 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,240 Speaker 3: many guidance about what you want them doing. So it's 295 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,520 Speaker 3: a good trick to always think what would actually want 296 00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:08,160 Speaker 3: this child doing instead just using language that's not going 297 00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:09,000 Speaker 3: to offend anyone. 298 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:13,319 Speaker 2: So don't use the word no, billy, Yeah, well no. 299 00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:17,480 Speaker 3: The problem with no is it's quite like an aggressive word, 300 00:13:17,679 --> 00:13:20,480 Speaker 3: and it puts so much emotion into whatever's happening. And 301 00:13:20,559 --> 00:13:24,000 Speaker 3: often kids, especially younger kids that don't have perspective taking, 302 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:27,120 Speaker 3: which is kids under six seven, all they see is 303 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:29,559 Speaker 3: opposition and they'll often push against it. And that's why 304 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:32,760 Speaker 3: we see increased behavioral and tantrums and things like that, 305 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:35,440 Speaker 3: because they go, you're not actually guiding me, you're just 306 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:38,120 Speaker 3: opposing me standing in front of you. Even if you 307 00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:39,760 Speaker 3: think yourself, if someone just comes up to you and 308 00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:41,960 Speaker 3: says stop doing that, yeah, and they get a bit 309 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,560 Speaker 3: emotional about it, it kind of sets off your alarm 310 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:46,560 Speaker 3: system and gets you a bit fired up. Whereas if 311 00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:49,679 Speaker 3: you can go, hey, mate, like I can tell you're 312 00:13:49,679 --> 00:13:51,640 Speaker 3: really excited, or I can tell you a bit annoyed, 313 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:54,120 Speaker 3: like what can we do that's really helpful for that, 314 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:56,760 Speaker 3: you know, and then thinking about what's going on for 315 00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:58,880 Speaker 3: this little kid. And that's what I try and give 316 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,400 Speaker 3: to parents. Think about out what's going on underneath this, 317 00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:03,400 Speaker 3: and if they're swearing more because they're just a bit 318 00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:06,840 Speaker 3: excited or they haven't learned it's actually not appropriate when 319 00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:09,080 Speaker 3: we're out in public or you're in the classroom or 320 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:12,000 Speaker 3: you're at work. Give them that guidance and help them 321 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:14,120 Speaker 3: learn that, and then reinforce it when they do it. 322 00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:17,080 Speaker 3: Make it something achievable or small step, you know, play 323 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,000 Speaker 3: the long game stuff. 324 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:21,520 Speaker 1: It's like Tommy's kids calling the Wiggles ship. Now the Wiggles. 325 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:23,440 Speaker 1: The Wiggles are not sup. 326 00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:30,440 Speaker 2: We were so proud when Tom presented ten others swear words. 327 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:33,120 Speaker 2: That's great, Tom, you didn't say the word no. 328 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,239 Speaker 3: Well, Tom and I grew up in the same suburbs, 329 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:43,120 Speaker 3: so that's part of our language. 330 00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:45,160 Speaker 1: You knew that by the age of AGAs. 331 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, we had to work harder to know what the 332 00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:49,560 Speaker 3: right thing to do was than some of you guys. 333 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:51,560 Speaker 1: Jess As in Melrose Pass, You've got a question for 334 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:53,840 Speaker 1: doctor Billy. Jess I do. 335 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:54,720 Speaker 5: Hi, Doctor Billy. 336 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:56,840 Speaker 6: I was wondering if you can give some advice on 337 00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:59,000 Speaker 6: how to help my five year old learn to wait 338 00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:00,280 Speaker 6: her turn in compas station. 339 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:03,120 Speaker 5: She's got a lot of opinions and likes to share. 340 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:03,440 Speaker 7: All of them. 341 00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:12,840 Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, it's hard, isn't it. I've got a gorgeous 342 00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:14,880 Speaker 3: little three year old that's like this, actually, and there's 343 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:18,400 Speaker 3: actually a big difference between three and five. So three 344 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:21,080 Speaker 3: year olds are all about the world is for me. 345 00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:23,680 Speaker 3: The world is all about me, and they don't understand 346 00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:26,600 Speaker 3: other people have different feelings and perspectives to them. Five 347 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:29,640 Speaker 3: year olds are starting to get that, so it's really important. 348 00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:31,200 Speaker 3: What you do with a three year old is different 349 00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:32,760 Speaker 3: to what you do with a five year old. What 350 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:34,560 Speaker 3: you do with a five year old is you want 351 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:37,800 Speaker 3: to go what are the actual steps that we can do? 352 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:40,360 Speaker 3: And what a lot of people will do is just 353 00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:43,840 Speaker 3: say when you want to speak, just say excuse me, Okay, 354 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:48,040 Speaker 3: take some deep breaths. I'll acknowledge you, and then I'll finish, 355 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,560 Speaker 3: and then I'll go that was so good. And at 356 00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:54,640 Speaker 3: the start sometimes it's fifteen seconds. You just do fifteen 357 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:57,920 Speaker 3: seconds and then you go, Sally, that was so good 358 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:00,280 Speaker 3: that you waited. I'm so proud of you. Usage feel 359 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,080 Speaker 3: so good. You drop down to the level. We give 360 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:05,440 Speaker 3: them heaps of attention and support and you reinforce that 361 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:07,880 Speaker 3: that they could hold the impulse, and then you stretch 362 00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:09,640 Speaker 3: it to thirty seconds, and then you stretch it to 363 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:11,720 Speaker 3: a minute, and then they get really good at it. 364 00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:14,120 Speaker 3: The best place to learn skills is in the most 365 00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:18,040 Speaker 3: supported environment and relationships, which is often at home with 366 00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:21,120 Speaker 3: a parent, not on the playground, or in a cafe 367 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:24,760 Speaker 3: that's noisy and busy, or the birthday party. We often 368 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:26,880 Speaker 3: try and get them to learn stuff at the birthday party. 369 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:29,840 Speaker 3: It's just chaos, which is like us learning how to 370 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:32,560 Speaker 3: play footy. We've never kicked a ball, and we throw 371 00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:35,120 Speaker 3: us into a grand final and go figure this out 372 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:38,320 Speaker 3: and you just collapse and go stress escalate. So how 373 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:40,440 Speaker 3: do we and it's a really good question, because how 374 00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:42,760 Speaker 3: do we teach kids the specific skills that we want 375 00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:44,680 Speaker 3: to learn, not get better at listening? 376 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:46,440 Speaker 1: That's I mean it is. 377 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:48,320 Speaker 7: I mean, if you can get out three to five 378 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:57,960 Speaker 7: minutes with a kid, just not but reinforce the behavior 379 00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:01,000 Speaker 7: you want, you know, Yeah, yeah, I love it. 380 00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:02,040 Speaker 1: Let's go to jewels. 381 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:05,919 Speaker 2: In avalon jewels, you got a question for doctor Billy Garvey. 382 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:09,480 Speaker 6: Yes, I do, Thanks doctor Billy. I've got a daughters 383 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:12,480 Speaker 6: that is anaphylactic to a bunch of things that I'm 384 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:17,000 Speaker 6: interested in the space of environment by genetics. Do you 385 00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:22,000 Speaker 6: think it's advantageous I guess in this instance retrospectively to 386 00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:26,840 Speaker 6: introduce highly allergenic foods as early as possible, or in 387 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:31,720 Speaker 6: factoring pregnancy. For example, I'm not a nasa ether. I've 388 00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:34,359 Speaker 6: just never had a taste for it. And given the 389 00:17:34,359 --> 00:17:38,359 Speaker 6: fact that none of our family history has anaphylaxis is 390 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:41,080 Speaker 6: do you think that's contributed to it? And how could 391 00:17:41,119 --> 00:17:44,120 Speaker 6: we benefit from the thinking around that space in the future. 392 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:46,879 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a great question. There is a really big 393 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:51,000 Speaker 3: genetic component to all allergies we know, even things like 394 00:17:51,119 --> 00:17:56,119 Speaker 3: exma and hay fever and asthma and also food allergies. 395 00:17:56,520 --> 00:18:00,320 Speaker 3: There's actually a really good national organization called ASCIA has 396 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:03,159 Speaker 3: really clear guidelines for the public around this and what 397 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:05,760 Speaker 3: we've learned through some of the research actually that was 398 00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:08,879 Speaker 3: done through the Hospital and Research Institute I'm ash. We 399 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,960 Speaker 3: used to say, like, if there's a chance it's in 400 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,679 Speaker 3: your family, hold off exposure to all that stuff for 401 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:15,960 Speaker 3: as long as possible. But what we found is that 402 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,919 Speaker 3: actually increased likelihood of allergy. So what we say now 403 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:21,720 Speaker 3: is and you'll see that they're more specific in the 404 00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:24,760 Speaker 3: guidelines than I can be here. With certain allergens, actually 405 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:29,080 Speaker 3: introducing them early decreases the chance and it's different obviously 406 00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:31,679 Speaker 3: if your child just had an anaphylactic reaction. Yeah, so 407 00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:34,040 Speaker 3: our body like this is a little bit of mental 408 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,320 Speaker 3: health as well, which is the main area of my expertise. 409 00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:39,520 Speaker 3: Things that are foreign to us, we get a little 410 00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:41,280 Speaker 3: bit scared by them, and it's a little bit the 411 00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:43,399 Speaker 3: same with our immune system if we've never seen it, 412 00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:46,440 Speaker 3: which is kind of what analogy is. It attacks something 413 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,560 Speaker 3: and so that's where our body goes through this big 414 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:53,240 Speaker 3: window in the first Really, people will say a thousand days, 415 00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:57,080 Speaker 3: which includes like from conception of learning about what the 416 00:18:57,119 --> 00:19:00,560 Speaker 3: world is, and we're from what's consistent those things. But 417 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:03,560 Speaker 3: asking is amazing, So anyone seeking any information about that. 418 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,600 Speaker 3: That's one of the best bodies out there and has 419 00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:06,919 Speaker 3: a lot of stuff in the public online. 420 00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:12,520 Speaker 2: Thank you, Jules. Thanks sorry Jules. Chris in Urskin part 421 00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:13,879 Speaker 2: question for doctor Billy. 422 00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:18,240 Speaker 4: Yeah you good a doc. I've got a question for you. 423 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:23,160 Speaker 4: My foot year old son he plays rugby league now 424 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:26,679 Speaker 4: at times, you know, like he gets frustrated with like 425 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:31,480 Speaker 4: with himself. I'm really proud that, you know, he plays 426 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:33,440 Speaker 4: with his heart on his sleeve and he gives everything 427 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:37,679 Speaker 4: every game. But heck, hell, what can I do to 428 00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:40,480 Speaker 4: help him, you know, not get so frustrated with things, 429 00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:42,960 Speaker 4: and and just to help him out sort of thing. 430 00:19:43,119 --> 00:19:46,880 Speaker 2: Just you know, Chris, Chris, I have got the exact 431 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:49,720 Speaker 2: same problem at the moment. And and and you know what, 432 00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:52,200 Speaker 2: Doctor Billy, I don't know if it's the same with you, Chris. 433 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:55,320 Speaker 2: One week he plays such good footy and then then 434 00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:58,840 Speaker 2: the week after it's disasters, own, doctor Billy. And it's 435 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:02,200 Speaker 2: like to the point where the whole world is coming 436 00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:04,359 Speaker 2: down around him because he didn't have a good game. 437 00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:08,520 Speaker 2: And it's and I've been try to be so supportive 438 00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:10,439 Speaker 2: and say to him, mate, I just love watching you 439 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:14,600 Speaker 2: out there. But nothing I says, nothing I say seems 440 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:15,640 Speaker 2: to be getting through to him. 441 00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:19,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, how beautiful In twenty twenty four, there's 442 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,040 Speaker 3: dads that are trying to think about how they can 443 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:23,880 Speaker 3: best support the emotional regulation of their sons. So that's 444 00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:26,760 Speaker 3: that's amazing. Yeah, it's a good sign that the world's 445 00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:30,159 Speaker 3: doing some stuff. Well, so, yeah, it's really interesting. So 446 00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:31,879 Speaker 3: I was a bit the same, Like I've got a 447 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:34,880 Speaker 3: sensitive temperament. Our temperament stays. We can pick a temperament 448 00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:36,720 Speaker 3: of a kid from about ten to eleven months of 449 00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:38,960 Speaker 3: age and it stays with the rest of your life. 450 00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:42,520 Speaker 3: Temperament does not change. You either. Are quite sensitive to 451 00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:46,440 Speaker 3: big emotions, big feelings, changes your environment, big reactions. It's 452 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,919 Speaker 3: twenty to thirty percent of us, or you're kind of 453 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:52,840 Speaker 3: chilled about most stuff. Yeah, a lot of those kids, 454 00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:56,080 Speaker 3: they're in stressful situations. And so you've got a beautiful 455 00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:59,680 Speaker 3: way of saying, like I just love watching your play, 456 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:01,880 Speaker 3: but there'll be a lot of other feelings that kid 457 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:03,560 Speaker 3: is having that might feel like the weight of the 458 00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:07,440 Speaker 3: game is on them, or the security of my self 459 00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:10,639 Speaker 3: esteem is built on being a good footy player. And 460 00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:13,760 Speaker 3: so we don't take away the footy as part of 461 00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:16,119 Speaker 3: their identity, but we make sure there are other things 462 00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:17,920 Speaker 3: that form who they are and how they feel good 463 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:20,439 Speaker 3: about themselves, things they care about that they succeed at 464 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:23,080 Speaker 3: when they put effort in. It can't just be one thing. 465 00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:24,640 Speaker 3: And I see a lot of kids that are quite 466 00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:28,080 Speaker 3: high performing athletes that have really high levels of clinical 467 00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:32,119 Speaker 3: anxiety because they feel like the weight of their relationships 468 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:34,520 Speaker 3: sits on them doing well at DASH right, and so 469 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:38,399 Speaker 3: they're missing skill opportunities in other things. So how do 470 00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:40,640 Speaker 3: you ease it? You build the other kind of situations 471 00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:43,480 Speaker 3: and hobbies and interactions and relationships where they can also 472 00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:46,359 Speaker 3: have that same feeling of success and value. You also 473 00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:49,280 Speaker 3: make sure that their success and their failure are removed 474 00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:51,879 Speaker 3: from who they are. It doesn't matter, so Fitz, you 475 00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:54,960 Speaker 3: will do this, but make sure when he loses the 476 00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:58,440 Speaker 3: game or stuffs it up, you still say, I really 477 00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:01,920 Speaker 3: enjoyed that so much, you know, but also there's all 478 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:04,480 Speaker 3: these other things I enjoy about you. Now practically, there's 479 00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:07,160 Speaker 3: another part of this that's the big picture stuff. The 480 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:10,119 Speaker 3: little picture stuff is how you teach emotional regulation, and 481 00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:12,960 Speaker 3: you teach that through coregulation. You can do it with 482 00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:14,439 Speaker 3: a three year rolls, you can do it with a 483 00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:17,000 Speaker 3: fourteen year old. How you do that is the first 484 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,200 Speaker 3: step is the parent or the coach or the teacher. 485 00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:22,040 Speaker 3: You make sure you calm yourself first. You don't go 486 00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:23,920 Speaker 3: near to kid if you're getting stressed as well, because 487 00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:24,720 Speaker 3: you'll make them worse. 488 00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:27,880 Speaker 2: That is such a good piece of advice that if 489 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:29,840 Speaker 2: you can take it, and you know what, it's the 490 00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:31,960 Speaker 2: same to replying to an email doctor. 491 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:35,639 Speaker 1: Billy at work. Yeah, I'm not very good at that. 492 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:40,240 Speaker 1: So Billy like, I felt like i'd failed the other 493 00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:42,800 Speaker 1: day because I do go along and I watch the 494 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:46,280 Speaker 1: boys play footy and I get so passionate and I'm 495 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:49,439 Speaker 1: vocal there and I'm yelling at and I'm encouraging and 496 00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:52,080 Speaker 1: then Ted, my eldest, he turned around and looked at 497 00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:55,720 Speaker 1: me because I'm yelling Ted, go, go go. He turned 498 00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:57,800 Speaker 1: around and put his finger over his lips and went 499 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:02,280 Speaker 1: and I thought, oh, stunned the rock and then the undertake, 500 00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:06,000 Speaker 1: and then for one I thought, I thought he's sick 501 00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:09,720 Speaker 1: of me yelling. Right, that's pretty clear. But then he 502 00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:13,280 Speaker 1: was quite close to the boundary line and he dropped 503 00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:16,280 Speaker 1: a mark and I went oh, And he looked at 504 00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:19,320 Speaker 1: me and I thought, oh my god, he's having a 505 00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:22,800 Speaker 1: moment of I got busted. I've let Dad down. Yeah, 506 00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:26,240 Speaker 1: and I was. I just thought I've failed him in 507 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:30,360 Speaker 1: this father. Yeah, that was a great footballer. I think 508 00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:33,000 Speaker 1: that's probably part of my issue. You two could be 509 00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,880 Speaker 1: as good as me. You play your cards, but I thought, 510 00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:39,399 Speaker 1: oh man, I've really let him down here. Yes, you 511 00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:41,400 Speaker 1: are wearing your emotion on your sleeve with a lot 512 00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:42,360 Speaker 1: of sporting events. 513 00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:46,800 Speaker 3: Totally, but we're going to mess this up thousands of times. 514 00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:49,760 Speaker 3: It's actually important we do because we can then roll 515 00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:52,280 Speaker 3: model the recovery. We can roll model that we struggle 516 00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:54,240 Speaker 3: with stuff, we can roll model come in and helping 517 00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:56,840 Speaker 3: them lift back up, watching them lift ourselves back up. 518 00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:59,600 Speaker 3: It's really important. But you make another really good point 519 00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:01,480 Speaker 3: is that I've when we see ourselves in our kids 520 00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:03,280 Speaker 3: and we put a lot of pressure on it, we 521 00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:05,760 Speaker 3: can also sometimes give them the support that we thought 522 00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:08,000 Speaker 3: we need as a kid and they're like, I'm fine. 523 00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:10,240 Speaker 3: And that happens with my three year older. It's a 524 00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:13,320 Speaker 3: beautiful little redheaded girl running around with a moper red hair, 525 00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:16,000 Speaker 3: looks almost exactly like me, a little bit too much, 526 00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:18,840 Speaker 3: and you know, often I'll be supporting it and she's 527 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:21,320 Speaker 3: like I'm fine, and I'm just like, oh, yeah, you're 528 00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:23,400 Speaker 3: different to who I am, you know, And so it's 529 00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:26,240 Speaker 3: an important bit of it. But what a beautiful connection 530 00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:27,800 Speaker 3: that he's able to turn to you and give you 531 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:32,760 Speaker 3: that feedback that show's a really healthy yeah, really healthy relationship. 532 00:24:33,359 --> 00:24:35,840 Speaker 1: Doctor BELLI, can I just ask just back onto the 533 00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:38,360 Speaker 1: topic of thirty six months. I'd just like to talk 534 00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:42,119 Speaker 1: a little bit further because you know, since launching the initiative, 535 00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:45,400 Speaker 1: you know, we're also gaining so much information and we're 536 00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:47,600 Speaker 1: learning and we're gaining a hell of a lot of knowledge. 537 00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:50,320 Speaker 1: But when you talk about development, and that's why we've 538 00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:52,880 Speaker 1: been particular about that thirty six months, when you talk 539 00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:55,719 Speaker 1: about mental development, you know, a lot of the reading 540 00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:59,760 Speaker 1: is around that prefrontal cortex. And you know, Maggie dent 541 00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:04,239 Speaker 1: So talks beautifully about how you know, we develop from 542 00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:07,320 Speaker 1: sort of the ground up and the prefrontal cortex sits 543 00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:10,960 Speaker 1: at the top and that's the part that regulates emotion 544 00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:14,440 Speaker 1: and decision making, and that's why it's such a vulnerable 545 00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:17,600 Speaker 1: time of your early teenage years. 546 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:20,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, our prefrontal cortex, it actually looks like it might 547 00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:23,040 Speaker 3: even be late twenties, but we've known from late twenties 548 00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:27,200 Speaker 3: fishes twenties. Yeah, so that's kind of where so people 549 00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:31,840 Speaker 3: used to think like emotions are inferior because they mess 550 00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:34,800 Speaker 3: up logic, But what we've found actually is they work 551 00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:38,040 Speaker 3: in sync. Like our emotions inform how we feel about things, 552 00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:40,840 Speaker 3: you know, And what we know is that kids, especially 553 00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:43,159 Speaker 3: through the teenage years, get flooded with a lot of 554 00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:47,160 Speaker 3: hormonal imbalance. That means that they're quite vulnerable to having 555 00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:50,240 Speaker 3: feelings that completely overwhelm them. Yes, it's a bit the 556 00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:52,480 Speaker 3: same as what we talked about the toddler that you know, 557 00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,280 Speaker 3: things the whole world is around them. There's a great 558 00:25:55,359 --> 00:25:58,480 Speaker 3: vulnerability in self esteem and emotional regulation that happens in 559 00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:01,240 Speaker 3: the teenage years. Because really what that is about is 560 00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:04,320 Speaker 3: about practicing being adults with a safety net. Now, your 561 00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:06,040 Speaker 3: point is a really good one, because what we know 562 00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:08,720 Speaker 3: is that it's harder as parents have a safety net 563 00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:11,800 Speaker 3: around kids that are having a community online and a 564 00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:14,080 Speaker 3: lot of that. I mean, I don't know about you guys, 565 00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:16,400 Speaker 3: but the hardest thing I find, and I've got young 566 00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:19,080 Speaker 3: kids is role modeling is such a big part of this. 567 00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:24,000 Speaker 3: And how do I role model healthy behaviors around that. 568 00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:27,000 Speaker 3: It's tough. Like I've got an eleven month old who 569 00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:29,000 Speaker 3: sees the phone in the room and goes straight forward 570 00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:30,600 Speaker 3: and picks it up because I pick it up all 571 00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:32,200 Speaker 3: the time. It doesn't it's not a toy. You just 572 00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:34,199 Speaker 3: nothing out of it. It's just what dad does. So 573 00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:37,600 Speaker 3: and we know that happens as well. If we engage 574 00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:40,239 Speaker 3: in social media platforms all the time, our kids are 575 00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:43,000 Speaker 3: watching us and going, Dad's on this all the time, 576 00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:44,760 Speaker 3: Mum's on this all the time. They get a lot 577 00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:45,960 Speaker 3: of joy out of it, they get a lot of 578 00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:48,240 Speaker 3: frustration out of it. It's a big source of their 579 00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:51,720 Speaker 3: daily activity. And then you go, ah, God, and now 580 00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:53,800 Speaker 3: my teenagers struggling with it. So what we want to 581 00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:55,920 Speaker 3: make sure A big part of what we're doing, regardless 582 00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:59,040 Speaker 3: of point, yeah, is role modeling healthy behaviors and how 583 00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:01,399 Speaker 3: do we know The most important bit with all this 584 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:04,199 Speaker 3: is how do I make sure they feel that they 585 00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:08,040 Speaker 3: can unconditionally always come to me. You know. That's because 586 00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:11,040 Speaker 3: stuff will happen regardless of age that we might not 587 00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:13,760 Speaker 3: know about. We want to make sure no matter what happens, 588 00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:16,520 Speaker 3: even if they've been the person that's done something wrong, 589 00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:19,600 Speaker 3: they feel like the first step will do is validate 590 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:20,600 Speaker 3: them and support them. 591 00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:24,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, because let's say, until we change the law and 592 00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:27,320 Speaker 1: we're able to make some advances here and sort of 593 00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:29,920 Speaker 1: protect our kids from social media, I suppose till they're 594 00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:33,159 Speaker 1: an age where they at least have some understanding of 595 00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:36,239 Speaker 1: what to expect and able to build some resilience and 596 00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:38,959 Speaker 1: regulate their emotion when they do or if they do 597 00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:42,320 Speaker 1: join the social media platform. This is a huge question. 598 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:46,280 Speaker 1: But if there is continuous bullying, which can result in 599 00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:50,439 Speaker 1: worst case scenarios, then what is the technique as a 600 00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:52,679 Speaker 1: parent to deal with that. 601 00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:56,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, so yeah, we see this a lot with there's 602 00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:58,920 Speaker 3: a lot of tea topic. No, but there's a lot 603 00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:02,320 Speaker 3: of kids that are experienced seeing horrific like online bullying 604 00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:05,679 Speaker 3: and yeah, not going to school, and you know, they 605 00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:07,320 Speaker 3: might be and I'm sure you guys will put out 606 00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:09,960 Speaker 3: some information of support, but they might be self harming 607 00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:11,800 Speaker 3: or they might not really wanted to live anymore. And 608 00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:14,800 Speaker 3: with this is like like suicide is the biggest killer 609 00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:17,800 Speaker 3: in this country, but from fourteen to forty four years 610 00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:19,920 Speaker 3: of age, that's like horrific. 611 00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:22,359 Speaker 1: And the numbers we read recently were there was a 612 00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:25,399 Speaker 1: two hundred and seventy five percent increase of young girls 613 00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:29,359 Speaker 1: of young teenage girls admitted to hospital with self harm 614 00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:30,600 Speaker 1: over the past few years. 615 00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:32,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, we're seeing that as well, Like there's a big 616 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:35,200 Speaker 3: increase in kids that are really struggling with this stuff, 617 00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:37,199 Speaker 3: and I think a contributed to it is, you know, 618 00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:40,920 Speaker 3: is unsafe environments everywhere where there's not enough visibility on 619 00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:43,840 Speaker 3: what experience they're having. And that's why I push back 620 00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:46,400 Speaker 3: against this idea of just free range parenting. Like when 621 00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:48,840 Speaker 3: we grew up, we just you know, the son came 622 00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:51,320 Speaker 3: up and we were gone. Parents never saw us until 623 00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:54,920 Speaker 3: the street lights came on. Mental illness in adults is horrific. Like, 624 00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:58,120 Speaker 3: it's not like that was some idea, right, Yeah, we 625 00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:04,040 Speaker 3: didn't hail it. I know, everyone like you romanticizes what 626 00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:06,160 Speaker 3: it was like. And I was dancing, you know, I 627 00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:08,160 Speaker 3: was playing with the baby pawn and we were. 628 00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:12,840 Speaker 1: You know, the sun went down. Yeah. 629 00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:15,680 Speaker 3: Think about some of the especially Tom and I stuff 630 00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:16,280 Speaker 3: that we you. 631 00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:21,520 Speaker 1: Know, Frankston train station, touching any fawns around there. 632 00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:27,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, So it's hard. So how do we have visibility 633 00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:29,400 Speaker 3: of what's going on? We have that by creating safe 634 00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:32,800 Speaker 3: spaces for them to have conversations with us, especially in teenagers. 635 00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:35,640 Speaker 3: The funny thing about teenagers is they get a phase 636 00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:37,640 Speaker 3: shift in their sleep, so often they want to come 637 00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:40,680 Speaker 3: and speak to us late at night when we're winding down, 638 00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:45,280 Speaker 3: So they phase shift their sleep their sleep trigger comes later. 639 00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:47,920 Speaker 3: So often when they feel like they're kind of most 640 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:50,680 Speaker 3: active and comfortable in their safest environment at home is 641 00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:53,520 Speaker 3: in the evening, after the heat of school is settled down. 642 00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:57,480 Speaker 3: There's still quite alert and as a parent you're like, cool, 643 00:29:57,520 --> 00:30:01,080 Speaker 3: I survive that day on the cow and then he 644 00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:02,600 Speaker 3: comes over and goes, I need to talk to you 645 00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:06,800 Speaker 3: about something. Yeah, but you're doing this beautiful with her. 646 00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:08,479 Speaker 3: If you've got a kid that's on a footy ground 647 00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:11,680 Speaker 3: and can turn to you and say, shuresh, calm down, 648 00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:14,680 Speaker 3: he feels safe coming to you, and that he experiences 649 00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:17,960 Speaker 3: bullying online or something bad happens on social media, or 650 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,480 Speaker 3: he sees content that he shouldn't. You just want to 651 00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:22,800 Speaker 3: make sure he comes to you. But you know, you 652 00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:25,800 Speaker 3: don't build that by saying to them, hey, always know 653 00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:27,959 Speaker 3: you can come to me, okay mate. You do that 654 00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:30,520 Speaker 3: by showing every single time they come to you about anything. 655 00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:34,080 Speaker 3: Your first step is support and validation from a young age. 656 00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:35,560 Speaker 3: And it doesn't mean it's lost. If you've got a 657 00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:37,520 Speaker 3: seventeen year old that won't refuse us to talk to 658 00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:39,320 Speaker 3: you now, and you're listening and going I'm doomed. I'm 659 00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:43,440 Speaker 3: stuffed you're not. The beautiful evidence around attachment, which is 660 00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:46,920 Speaker 3: what we're actually talking about secure attachment and belonging, is 661 00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:49,640 Speaker 3: that you can recover it. You can always recover it. 662 00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:54,640 Speaker 3: You do that by consistent, predictable, responsive, unconditional love. And 663 00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:56,480 Speaker 3: you just work on that. And if you're going to 664 00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:59,560 Speaker 3: work on only a single thing as a parent, work 665 00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:03,360 Speaker 3: on that. Drop the vegetables, drop the homework, drop everything, 666 00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:05,680 Speaker 3: and say, you know, doctor Billy said, if you're getting 667 00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:08,320 Speaker 3: in trouble anywhere, yep, and say this is what we're 668 00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:12,040 Speaker 3: working on. We're working on our relationship. And you've got 669 00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:14,000 Speaker 3: to make sure that ninety nine percent of the time 670 00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:16,440 Speaker 3: you interact with kids, you're not hassling them about something 671 00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:20,040 Speaker 3: because that's how they know they're valued and you experience 672 00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:22,160 Speaker 3: joy when you're with them, and make sure you do 673 00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:25,200 Speaker 3: that consistently. And I'm talking like multiple times a week. 674 00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:27,240 Speaker 3: And for people out there that are like, I got 675 00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:29,240 Speaker 3: to work, I got to do this. I got no 676 00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:32,120 Speaker 3: family around my kids, and I both myself and my 677 00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:35,200 Speaker 3: partner work really long shifts. You know, we don't see 678 00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:37,760 Speaker 3: our kids much. It's the quality of time, sure, it's 679 00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:39,560 Speaker 3: what you do with that time you have with them, 680 00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:40,760 Speaker 3: not hours and hours. 681 00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:43,479 Speaker 1: Consistency of love. I'm going to get that tattooed on 682 00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:47,360 Speaker 1: my chest. Consistency of love, Doctor Billy Yarvey. 683 00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:49,440 Speaker 2: We can speak to you all morning, but if you 684 00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:52,920 Speaker 2: would like more information, and you think your child or 685 00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:56,920 Speaker 2: you're as a parent, you need more information on this stuff. 686 00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:59,320 Speaker 2: He's brand new book, Ten Things I Wish You Knew 687 00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:01,120 Speaker 2: about your Child's Mental Health. 688 00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:02,000 Speaker 1: It's out now. 689 00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:04,720 Speaker 2: Appreciate your time, doctor Bill. Thank you very much for 690 00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:05,440 Speaker 2: coming in, Buddy. 691 00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:06,880 Speaker 3: Thanks everyone, it's great to be here. 692 00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:09,240 Speaker 1: Thanks Billy. It's in Whipper with Kate Ritchie is a 693 00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:12,600 Speaker 1: Nova podcast to walk great shows like this. Download the 694 00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:16,840 Speaker 1: Nova Player via the App Store or Google Play.