Speaker 1: The Crissy Swan Show. We are going to do around?
Speaker 1: Is it just for me? These are This is the
Speaker 1: part of the show where we talk all the time,
Speaker 1: you and I Jack, and if there's anything bothering us,
Speaker 1: we are each other's first port of call in terms
Speaker 1: of a soundboard correct generally, problem solved. You can solve
Speaker 1: all of mine. I can solve all of yours. But
Speaker 1: there are some that we have to take to you. Yes,
Speaker 1: the beautiful listeners of the Chrissy Swan Show, because we
Speaker 1: have come up with nothing.
Speaker 2: We both have an issue here that we can't solve
Speaker 2: and thirty twenty four to ten once you hear them,
Speaker 2: if you can help us understand, we really.
Speaker 1: Do seek your counsel on this. Am I gonna go first? Yep.
Speaker 1: I have become increasingly disillusioned and frustrated with the delivery
Speaker 1: method for honey.
Speaker 2: What do you mean?
Speaker 1: So when I have my cups of tea at home,
Speaker 1: I'm a double bagger. Oh this is and I use
Speaker 1: honey instead of sugar because sugar is annoying. So I've
Speaker 1: put a little squirt in. I have tried every format
Speaker 1: of honey delivery system.
Speaker 2: So like the squeeze, the bottle.
Speaker 1: Diff squeeze bottle, the soft squeeze bottle, the pot, the
Speaker 1: small jar, even creamed honey. I thought it's beautiful the
Speaker 1: first four cups of tea.
Speaker 2: And then it goes full main.
Speaker 1: After that crystals form and you can't squeeze it out.
Speaker 1: It is driving me crazy and I'm like looking around.
Speaker 1: Every house in Australia's got a bottle of honey in it?
Speaker 3: Correct?
Speaker 1: Am I the only person that is driven to a
Speaker 1: homicidal rage at the lack of ingenuity in honey delivery
Speaker 1: design packaging?
Speaker 2: What's the little timber spoon that you are use just
Speaker 2: for honey?
Speaker 1: You's ridiculous.
Speaker 2: I've never tried that. Is it awful?
Speaker 1: But I use it seven times a day for a
Speaker 1: cup of tea?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Okay, No, I don't want a little you know twee.
Speaker 1: I want the honey in the tea, a big nozzle,
Speaker 1: free flowing, no crystals. Yeah, not too big that it
Speaker 1: goes weird and lumpy, not too small that it costs
Speaker 1: forty dollars. Like, what's up with you, Manuka? She's soy
Speaker 1: to you.
Speaker 2: God thirteen twenty four to ten. If you can help
Speaker 2: Swany out with this?
Speaker 1: What do you do at home? Are you transferring it?
Speaker 1: I had to funnel it out of a container this morning.
Speaker 1: It's a lot of sticky business man, and then it
Speaker 1: overflows all over the bench. I'm striving me crazy?
Speaker 2: Is it just me? Or have Red Rock Deli chips
Speaker 2: changed the method of cooking? Because Swanye, I know you're
Speaker 2: not a Red Rock Deli gal. No, and this is
Speaker 2: why you couldn't help me with this. But I've really
Speaker 2: noticed over the last two months, I consume a lot
Speaker 2: of sea salt plain red Rock deelly chips so classy.
Speaker 2: They've started overcooking them. And I thought it was just
Speaker 2: the first bag I got, because there were a little
Speaker 2: that you could see they were more yellow in color.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the first bag's always weird. It's always always second bag.
Speaker 2: It's still weird. As the bags went on over the months,
Speaker 2: they were all over cook.
Speaker 1: How many bags would you have I reckon over the weekend,
Speaker 1: like four? No?
Speaker 2: One, I'll have like because on a hungover Sunday, I
Speaker 2: go straight to the Panther and get the red rocks.
Speaker 1: Okay, I have a full big bag though. Okay, so
Speaker 1: you've got some here and you're going to test it?
Speaker 2: Well, No, they're not the flavor I asked for, but
Speaker 2: so it's specifically the plain one had him fire. Is
Speaker 2: it just me? Or a Red Rock Deli overcooking the chips?
Speaker 1: I want to get Jane Hollond because she's mad for
Speaker 1: a Honey chickens. She would know.
Speaker 2: I'm going to text her about.
Speaker 1: It the Chrissy Swan Show. And you are solving our problems.
Speaker 2: Yes, we're doing a round of is it just me?
Speaker 1: We have asked each other these questions. We have asked.
Speaker 1: We've asked, you know, Marina, anybody that you know we
Speaker 1: like to annoy on a daily basis, and we have
Speaker 1: come up with nothing. So we're taking it to the
Speaker 1: streets here.
Speaker 2: And I mean, if Marina can't answer our question, we're.
Speaker 1: Screw Absolutely, then there is no answer question. I'm very
Speaker 1: frustrated with honey delivery systems. I've bought all of them
Speaker 1: and I don't like any of them. None of them
Speaker 1: satisfy me.
Speaker 2: That's a really annoying thing. Annoying And is it just me?
Speaker 2: Or have Red Rock Deli changed the way they cook
Speaker 2: their chip?
Speaker 1: I've just eaten one of those chips, and absolutely, it's
Speaker 1: probably a bit about five years between those style of
Speaker 1: chips for me because news flat. They're not my favorite.
Speaker 2: I know they're not in mine. I go through like
Speaker 2: a bag a week of red why and they've started
Speaker 2: over cooking them that they've gone yellow?
Speaker 3: Is it just me?
Speaker 1: They are definitely overcooked?
Speaker 2: Mary?
Speaker 1: What am I doing wrong with the honey? I've tried
Speaker 1: the pot, I've tried the jar.
Speaker 4: It's really simple.
Speaker 5: You just put the container opened in the microwave for
Speaker 5: ten seconds at a time. You have to be careful,
Speaker 5: and it just melts and it's the crystallise.
Speaker 1: What are you joking? What container just threw a big
Speaker 1: lot of it out this morning?
Speaker 4: Oh no, No, you just put the whole container in,
Speaker 4: just leave it open and you have to watch it
Speaker 4: and you just put it in at ten seconds at
Speaker 4: a time and it just it just it makes it
Speaker 4: all all runny and gooey.
Speaker 1: You again, See I thought it was because I was
Speaker 1: cheap and I buy it in like this big vast.
Speaker 5: Yeah no no, And can I tell you you get
Speaker 5: the beach Worth?
Speaker 1: The beach Oh, I love beach Worth. I mean I
Speaker 1: love any sort of honey. Isn't it a miracle? Like
Speaker 1: if there's any evidence of God in the world. It's honey. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's the best makes it.
Speaker 2: Mary. You have a Priceline Pharmacy voucher and you have
Speaker 2: a beautiful bedside manam I marry Mary?
Speaker 3: You are welcome.
Speaker 2: Now, Anita, can you help me with my issue of
Speaker 2: red Rock Delly chips being overcooked?
Speaker 6: They're terrible. I've had to change to Kettle because they
Speaker 6: overcook them and they're all and they're so expensive now,
Speaker 6: so I don't buy them anymore. You have to go
Speaker 6: to Kettle.
Speaker 1: Okay, how long have you been suspicious of the cooking times?
Speaker 6: A long time? Now? I believe Yeah, yeah, it's not right.
Speaker 2: And it's like you, we like a bit of crunching
Speaker 2: our chip chip, you and I, Anita, But like the
Speaker 2: Red Rock Deli, they've just overcood They've cooked it.
Speaker 6: Well, they've actually cooked them so much that they curl up,
Speaker 6: so they're all kind of stuck together in a curl.
Speaker 6: They're not like flat chips anymore either.
Speaker 3: Have you found that? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I have, Anita and Jack, Can I humbly suggest the
Speaker 1: Smith's crinkle cush, the thins, the thins, the King of Chips.
Speaker 2: Anita a priss Line Pharmacy voucher for you. We've got
Speaker 2: a bee keeper on the swan Oh Giles.
Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, you're so brave.
Speaker 7: Well, I thought I could help explain to you what
Speaker 7: why honey does crystallize. The honey is a super saturated
Speaker 7: sugar solution, So basically that means there's too many sugar
Speaker 7: crystals in a small amount of waters that it actually
Speaker 7: fits the sustain itself in a liquid form, so it
Speaker 7: actually wants to go to turn into crystalls. However, I
Speaker 7: actually i'mfortunate. I actually have to really disagree strongly with Mary.
Speaker 7: I don't think you should put it in the microwaves.
Speaker 7: The problem with the microwave is it heats it up
Speaker 7: very locally, very hot in specific spots, and so it
Speaker 7: can overheat the honey and then it destroys someone the
Speaker 7: goodness in the honey. Yes, the best way to do
Speaker 7: it is to put the container. So whatever you've got
Speaker 7: glass containers. I sell all my honey in glass containers.
Speaker 7: Put in a glass container, put it in a pan
Speaker 7: with water in up to the level of the honey,
Speaker 7: and then keep it on the lowest heap posts of
Speaker 7: all for as long as you can possibly wait, Like
Speaker 7: sometimes as you can do it for an hour if
Speaker 7: it's necessarily just leave it on there and it'll all term.
Speaker 7: It'll melt those crystals back in.
Speaker 1: How long will that last? Giles?
Speaker 7: Okay, there's another technical question. It varies so minmarily. It's
Speaker 7: basically made of glucose and sucos, glucose and fructos, and
Speaker 7: it depends on the ratio of those sugars, and again
Speaker 7: that depends on what next to the has.
Speaker 1: Been great, but the Creasy Swan Show, The Cressy Swan Show.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm about to say something that is
Speaker 1: going to cause some waves.
Speaker 2: We love that.
Speaker 1: I was totling around on Instagram last night, which is
Speaker 1: frankly beautiful self care for me, and I don't do
Speaker 1: it anywhere near enough. So when I get a chance
Speaker 1: to just.
Speaker 2: Die, yeah, but just let it roll to the real
Speaker 2: just keepang.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you you just feel really entitled. Something
Speaker 1: bores you and you go shut up, and then they
Speaker 1: give you more of what you want. I mean, it's
Speaker 1: just a joy.
Speaker 2: It's much like a dating app if you were on
Speaker 2: them now growing past.
Speaker 1: No, no, feel like that is not for me.
Speaker 2: No, I wouldn't recommend it.
Speaker 1: It's awful anyway Instagram. I follow the BBC because I'm
Speaker 1: very hard broll anyway. At once it's it stopped on
Speaker 1: a little snippet of the Australian TV show which you
Speaker 1: can stream on bingch called Colin from accounts. It won
Speaker 1: every LOGI last year. It's incredibly popular.
Speaker 2: They love it when they are on stage.
Speaker 1: Yes, and didn't We love it as audiences of the
Speaker 1: show because it's very, very popular and beautifully written by
Speaker 1: Harriet Dyer and Patrick Brammel. Anyway, the snippet that I
Speaker 1: saw was an iconic scene in series two with the
Speaker 1: gorgeous Celeste Barber and the topic of dog moms came up.
Speaker 1: This is a conversation between Harriet Dyer character and Celeste
Speaker 1: Barber's character. Do you do Katie, I'm a mom kids
Speaker 1: keep you busy? Oh your mom?
Speaker 3: No, I'm a dog mum.
Speaker 7: So no, Well, you know he relies on me.
Speaker 1: And he needs a lot of care. Not the same,
Speaker 1: isn't it?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 1: Okay, So I saw that and I thought, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I've been in so many of those conversations and I've
Speaker 1: never had the guts to say what Celeste Barber's character said.
Speaker 2: Do you know why you haven't, because people are so
Speaker 2: protective and sort of get so offended if you insult
Speaker 2: their animals that you would feel like you just can't
Speaker 2: because it could be friendship ending.
Speaker 1: Well, that's the thing. And I've waited up the moment
Speaker 1: not worth it, the moment where I could say, as
Speaker 1: Celeste Barber's character said, it's not the same, And I've thought,
Speaker 1: does it matter? Does it matter that they're wrong?
Speaker 2: It's a pet?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Am I really going to fight with this person
Speaker 1: about something that is so clearly absurd?
Speaker 2: Absurd? And when they then put it in their Instagram
Speaker 2: bio like a dog mum or a no.
Speaker 1: Look, I get it. I understand that there are definitely
Speaker 1: parallels between the feelings because I've got two bunnies that
Speaker 1: I'm obsessed with, and I've got Murphy who I'm obsessed with.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm their mother and if I hadn't
Speaker 1: had children, that would be my understanding of parenting.
Speaker 2: But you don't.
Speaker 1: But please, A dog mum ridiculous is not the same
Speaker 1: as a real mum. And that is because being a
Speaker 1: real mum is a lot harder and a lot more dull,
Speaker 1: and a lot more responsibility and so much Jeopardy. I mean,
Speaker 1: what mistakes can you make with a dog? Do you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? They're naughty, you put them outside,
Speaker 1: you put a muzzle on them. A kid's naughty. They
Speaker 1: end up in jail. Absolutely, the steak's are higher.
Speaker 2: Last night, I'm going to out my beautiful friend Maddie here,
Speaker 2: who loves her golden retriever. We were leaving our friend
Speaker 2: Christina's for dinner and she goes, oh, well, got to
Speaker 2: go home to my son. And I looked at her,
Speaker 2: I said, so. She said, George is a dog mum
Speaker 2: the same as a real the same. Let's brawl about it.
Speaker 1: Criswe show we're talking about. Is being a dog mum
Speaker 1: the same as being a child's mum. A little snippet
Speaker 1: came up on Instagram, and the bravery of Celeste's Barber
Speaker 1: character Barber's character in Colin from Accounts when she says
Speaker 1: that's not the same thing took my breath away.
Speaker 2: Do you do, Katie?
Speaker 1: I'm a mom kids keep you busy? Oh your mom?
Speaker 3: No, I'm a dog mum.
Speaker 7: So no, Well, you know he relies on.
Speaker 1: Me and he needs a lot of care. Not the same,
Speaker 1: isn't it?
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 1: How many times have I wanted to say it's not
Speaker 1: the same, but I haven't. I've bitten my tongue because
Speaker 1: I don't want to fight until today.
Speaker 2: Until today, the fact that you're not giving birth to
Speaker 2: the pet or the dog is enough to say it
Speaker 2: is not the same. There is not the same connection
Speaker 2: that a mother and son or a mother and daughter has.
Speaker 2: There just isn't.
Speaker 1: No. I disagree, I disagree. I think the connection is
Speaker 1: the one thing that's the same. How can it be
Speaker 1: the same and the feeling of love that you have
Speaker 1: for that living thing is the same.
Speaker 2: I hope your kids aren't listening. If my mom said
Speaker 2: that about a dog, I'd be livered.
Speaker 1: No, it is the same. It is the same feeling
Speaker 1: of love.
Speaker 2: Thirty You should know that is a dog Pride twenty
Speaker 2: four ten. Is a dog mum the same as a
Speaker 2: real mum.
Speaker 1: Let's go to Belinda, Belinda, can you change my mind? Hello?
Speaker 3: Am I darling Chrissy? Yes I can, because I have
Speaker 3: a dog and I have a daughter, and the amount
Speaker 3: of care that I have to give my dog over
Speaker 3: my daughter is fiftyfold and I get nothing back from
Speaker 3: my daughter. I get total unconditional love from my dog,
Speaker 3: and it's a joy to walk him and feed him
Speaker 3: and look after him.
Speaker 1: Are you saying that you have spent the same amount
Speaker 1: of blood, sweat and tears and concern and sleepless nights
Speaker 1: on your dog that you have on your daughter.
Speaker 3: No, I wouldn't say the same, but I would say
Speaker 3: that the love and companionship and the bond I have
Speaker 3: with my dog, I can't leave him money. Don't. Oh,
Speaker 3: there is a full responsibility, and.
Speaker 1: Belinda, that is not of That is not the question.
Speaker 1: I understand that love is love, and Jack knows that
Speaker 1: better than anybody. But you've got to admit that being
Speaker 1: the owner of the dog is very different to being
Speaker 1: the mother of a human being.
Speaker 3: Come on, it's definitely different. But I think it still
Speaker 3: has the same weight of responsibility.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's Blinda's arguments. Wanning, We're going to give Blinda
Speaker 2: a Priceline pharmacy vout dog. Marina Yo yo, Marina yo?
Speaker 1: What have you got for me? Can you change our mind?
Speaker 3: So my dog passed away last year.
Speaker 6: I now have a son.
Speaker 3: So I was six months pregnant with my dog died.
Speaker 7: So when I used to go to work when my
Speaker 7: dog was still like I had to leave work.
Speaker 4: Each morning, so a couple of hours into my ship
Speaker 4: to go home, give my dog his breakfast and his
Speaker 4: insulin because he was a diabetic, and then I'd go
Speaker 4: back to work and finish my day.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 4: So with my dog, I had to do way more
Speaker 4: and I couldn't leave him either. We had to cancel holidays.
Speaker 6: We couldn't go on holidays anymore.
Speaker 3: Motaw dog was a diabetic, had to give him influence
Speaker 3: twice a day.
Speaker 7: He had eye appointments for his eyes.
Speaker 3: Whilst it's it's different.
Speaker 4: But the amount of time that I spent with.
Speaker 6: My dog is no less than I.
Speaker 4: Spent with my son.
Speaker 1: But what about did that dog ever say of my
Speaker 1: wheeze burning? Did that at two in the morning? Did
Speaker 1: that dog ever say I've poved my pants at school?
Speaker 1: Did that dog ever suck? Put me down? There so
Speaker 1: much wrong with me? The Christy Swim Show is a
Speaker 1: Nova podcast for more great comedy shows like this hads
Speaker 1: a nov podcast Stock Coms. Are You