Speaker 1: Welcome back to the Where's Your Head At? Hotline, our
Speaker 1: weekly show where we catch up with each other and
Speaker 1: connect with you all on our hotline voicemail.
Speaker 2: We want to hear from you, guys, so please send
Speaker 2: your stories, questions, advice or tea to Where's Your Head
Speaker 2: at pod at gmail dot com to be featured on
Speaker 2: one of our episodes. I'm Anna and I'm Matt.
Speaker 1: Let's jump in.
Speaker 2: Good morning Anna, Hello.
Speaker 1: It's in a shaky morning in Melbourne.
Speaker 2: Hello, great Khan, Great the honeyway to start this off?
Speaker 1: It as there was a four point five magnitude earthquake
Speaker 1: in Melbourne and I missed it.
Speaker 2: As always, we were talking before we got in here.
Speaker 2: We both slept through both the most recent earthquakes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know how. I mean, I do know how.
Speaker 2: Well, why did you sleep through the first one? Because
Speaker 2: that one was obviously at ten am. A lot of
Speaker 2: people would say we should have been away.
Speaker 1: And I agree, Well, so you slept through it too,
Speaker 1: a fucking.
Speaker 2: Log I had no idea. Me and my roommates spoke
Speaker 2: off and we're like, everyone's posting about an earthquake. But
Speaker 2: to be fair, it was during the middle of lockdown
Speaker 2: wasn't it.
Speaker 1: It was like we were allowed out.
Speaker 2: Maybe it was a weird time.
Speaker 1: It was a lockdown ish time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and we were all partying the night before you were. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so we like slept right through our well, we didn't
Speaker 2: have work. We did enough to get up.
Speaker 1: It was alarmed.
Speaker 2: We're from home, just signing and that's it.
Speaker 1: So the last earthquake that happens in Melbourne, I was
Speaker 1: up at six am on the dot and I was
Speaker 1: like living life. And then Michael and I decided to
Speaker 1: have a bit of sexy time. And then after that
Speaker 1: we were exhausted, so we went for a nap and
Speaker 1: during the nap is when the earthquake happened.
Speaker 2: Nothing beats a midday nap, though, was your partner. I
Speaker 2: can agree with that after sex as well.
Speaker 1: No sex nap like you need at least like thirty minutes.
Speaker 1: But we felt so left out because this happened at
Speaker 1: ten o'clock in the morning. Then we woke up like
Speaker 1: thirty minutes later. Everyone's talking about it, you know, the
Speaker 1: family group chats are going off, Oh my god, we've
Speaker 1: lived through an earthquake and we just like had no contribution.
Speaker 2: I'm almost sort of jealous that people who have heard
Speaker 2: it and felt it go off and I haven't, you know,
Speaker 2: I want to feel in it. Oh, I shouldn't say that,
Speaker 2: but you know, of them mild not a serious one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well there is after shocks apparently supposed to be happening.
Speaker 1: So I'm kind of like half expecting us to be
Speaker 1: doing this podcast and like.
Speaker 2: Fingers cross room, fingers shaked, fingers crossed. So they did
Speaker 2: wake me up though, in the middle of the night.
Speaker 2: What a fucking possum was like kissing at my window.
Speaker 2: It felt like it was literally on my window kissing
Speaker 2: at me while I slept.
Speaker 1: I hate possums.
Speaker 2: It was fucking weird. I like threw my pillow out
Speaker 2: the window, but it didn't go away.
Speaker 1: You know those people who like feed possums and just
Speaker 1: like get around them, like I just I see them
Speaker 1: as a rodent, Like I can't even get around them
Speaker 1: at all.
Speaker 2: My mum the other day was looking at it was like,
Speaker 2: come we at it. It's so and I'm like, it's
Speaker 2: a fucking possum.
Speaker 1: They look like oversized rats to me. I hate rats,
Speaker 1: and when you compare them, you're just like I can't
Speaker 1: look at them.
Speaker 2: The same I am there. Used to be like I
Speaker 2: was talking about this the other day with Mum when
Speaker 2: we saw that possum. Remember how like growing up used
Speaker 2: to think where's the possum? Everyone would mention that there
Speaker 2: was possums. Now you just see them all the time.
Speaker 1: Do you. Yeah, I don't see possums all the time.
Speaker 2: Probably where you're living where I am now, there's always possums.
Speaker 2: Am I still driving you home?
Speaker 1: Yes? Please?
Speaker 2: Well, I'll just warn you about something on the waykend
Speaker 2: Oh god. So I was going through Maca's drive through
Speaker 2: for probably my third coffee of the day.
Speaker 1: You loved Maca's drive through, and you know what, I'm
Speaker 1: always on the phone to Matt and he's like, I'll
Speaker 1: just give you my MacDonald's code. I'm like, why do
Speaker 1: you have a mac Donald's code. It's so strange.
Speaker 2: Because if you get what is it, if you get
Speaker 2: like three coffees, you get a free one with the
Speaker 2: points they accumulate. So I'm just really as fuck. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that's why I always use my Maca's code.
Speaker 1: You're living a better life than me. I don't even know.
Speaker 2: There you go, yeah, that's a recommendation. Then you go
Speaker 2: use your Maca's code.
Speaker 1: How do you get them?
Speaker 2: You just download the app and you just tell them
Speaker 2: your code, and then it like accumulates the points and
Speaker 2: then the points that you get for a coffee, it's
Speaker 2: like three, and then you get a free one and
Speaker 2: I always get mediums and then the free one is large.
Speaker 1: To be fair, though, on the weekend I had the
Speaker 1: worst MacDonald's coffee known to man. It was like burnt.
Speaker 1: It was like gross, and I normally love a Maca's coffee.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't blame Macis. I'd blame the barista.
Speaker 1: She was under like a lot of stress, to be honest.
Speaker 1: It was like you know when like you're going to Macis.
Speaker 1: Sorry to like divet from your story, but like you
Speaker 1: know when you go to Macas and the cue is
Speaker 1: like phenomenally long, and you're like, I'm gonna have to
Speaker 1: walk in, So you walk in and then you see
Speaker 1: the deep amount of stress that they're under. It was
Speaker 1: a Sunday at nine am, and like the chick I
Speaker 1: was like, you know, her for head was like sweating.
Speaker 1: I was like, let's make sure that doesn't get in
Speaker 1: the coffee.
Speaker 2: Well that was the that was the time I went
Speaker 2: so I was getting like my third coffee. Then the
Speaker 2: line of the drive through and then they say that
Speaker 2: the coffee machine's broken. Imagine my imagine my thoughts. So
Speaker 2: I go, all right, well I would just grab three
Speaker 2: hash Browns. I'll go home, give some to my give
Speaker 2: some to my mum. So I was like, all right,
Speaker 2: So go through, pay, get to the next window, and
Speaker 2: they hand in my bag and I go to drive off.
Speaker 2: So I take a little bit drive forward and then
Speaker 2: I gouck, this bag is a bit heavy. So I
Speaker 2: look in it and it's a sausage and McMuffin or
Speaker 2: whatever it was. I don't know. It was like a muffin. Yeah, yum.
Speaker 2: But I want my hash Browns because I didn't even
Speaker 2: want to get them for me there for my mum.
Speaker 2: And I was like, you know what, fuck this, So
Speaker 2: I chuck it in reverse. As I'm reversing, there's no cars.
Speaker 2: I just hear c crunch and I was like, no,
Speaker 2: what is that? Turn around? And I've hit like the
Speaker 2: dry through sort of like you know, ledge as they
Speaker 2: like give you yes, and then I've literally come to
Speaker 2: the window and as I've gotten to the window, the
Speaker 2: whole mac of staff He's like looking out the window
Speaker 2: at me, and I'm just like, yeah, you gave me
Speaker 2: the wrong order, and then it actually makes me so embarrassed.
Speaker 2: And then the girls like what is your order? And
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, three hash Brewers, and then we just
Speaker 2: swapped him and I was like, do you need my
Speaker 2: insurance details? And she's like it's fine, and I just
Speaker 2: drove off.
Speaker 1: So what was the damage.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm in the old work cute, so it was
Speaker 2: like a metal tray, so nothing happened to me. And
Speaker 2: I think I just put it like a lot. I'm
Speaker 2: going to go past. I'll take a photo. Even this morning,
Speaker 2: I didn't go to Maccas. I went to like Crispy
Speaker 2: Cremes because I was like, I can't go back there
Speaker 2: for at least a.
Speaker 1: Week, at least three working business.
Speaker 2: Day just to lay low. But I think I just
Speaker 2: like scraped and light left.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's so embarrassing. And the fact that
Speaker 1: they all came to the window.
Speaker 2: It was literally like probably six or seven of them,
Speaker 2: just seven of them just looking at me and was like,
Speaker 2: so you.
Speaker 1: Just doubled down. You weren't like true to I would
Speaker 1: have like gone bright red like you know, when really
Speaker 1: embarrassing things happen, my face will just like burn up
Speaker 1: like a beat road.
Speaker 2: I'd be like, nah, I was flying with it. I
Speaker 2: was just like, I was like, get you the wrong order? Well,
Speaker 2: one would argue I've been in a lot of prayings
Speaker 2: or accidents, but oh.
Speaker 1: God have you.
Speaker 2: But it would be if you divide the amount of
Speaker 2: hours I've driven with how many.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's the thing hours.
Speaker 2: It's probably the normal person amount of prayings by my age.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, you just cannot get away with that.
Speaker 2: It's a solid I reckon.
Speaker 1: It's a solid argument as as you have more driving
Speaker 1: hours and work than up, you should be becoming a
Speaker 1: better driver and you shouldn't be making the same careless.
Speaker 2: Not all accidents are my fault, though, I mean other
Speaker 2: people to the.
Speaker 1: Macas drive where I'm going to go with is your fault.
Speaker 2: I love the fact I get home and I went
Speaker 2: to my mum. Yeah, I crashed into Maccas.
Speaker 1: Into Macca's actual building, like the.
Speaker 2: Actual building, And she was like, what, You're right, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, and I explained it. We're just laughing, do
Speaker 2: you know what?
Speaker 1: Funnily enough, my first in car collision was had a
Speaker 1: mac Donald's. So I don't think it's as rare as
Speaker 1: you think.
Speaker 2: You went up so on they what happened? That sounds
Speaker 2: so dad in context, in context.
Speaker 1: To a car car accident. Yeah, so I think I
Speaker 1: was like fresh eighteen. I think it was probably like
Speaker 1: my third MACS drive through very exciting times. I think
Speaker 1: I had like looked on my phone very bad.
Speaker 2: You don't do it.
Speaker 1: No, No, this is before the time of maccas codes.
Speaker 1: This is in twenty ten, but I'm still very much
Speaker 1: in school, and I think I just like took my
Speaker 1: foot off the accelerator, just like because I was looking
Speaker 1: at my phone, and I just like slowly, at probably
Speaker 1: like two kilometers an hour, I just rolled into the
Speaker 1: person in front, and they were so mad at me,
Speaker 1: and I like burst out crying, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2: I've never been mad at someone in an accident when
Speaker 2: they've hit me.
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, I get so emotional. Wells so emotional.
Speaker 2: That's a good point. I didn't realize until I got
Speaker 2: into a car. Remember my first time in a car,
Speaker 2: that it rolls if you don't have your foot in
Speaker 2: the bobble. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It was a good lesson for me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, my family friends on the main road in Chadstone.
Speaker 2: I just was hopped in and I thought i'd be
Speaker 2: smart ass and started and it started rolling and I
Speaker 2: was like, what the fuck?
Speaker 1: Yeah, old cars, Yeah.
Speaker 2: Lesson for everyone. Yeahut there, how's your weekend?
Speaker 1: It was good. We went on a little staycation to
Speaker 1: the Massiveden Rangers. Very fun. Have never been there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe, yeah, I think you're you're the GPS, you.
Speaker 2: Know, Okay, it's right.
Speaker 1: I love about how you asked me the questions if I.
Speaker 2: Would ever know, well around that area, I should know
Speaker 2: it's around there.
Speaker 1: We did a hike which Michael and I haven't done
Speaker 1: a hike in two years because the last hike we
Speaker 1: did it was in Thailand when Michael tried to like
Speaker 1: force me on this hike and it ended in like tears, literalities,
Speaker 1: like I was literally crying and I was like, I
Speaker 1: can't believe you put me through this trauma.
Speaker 2: Who walks for fun?
Speaker 1: Michael? Michael, people do like to hike for fun. And
Speaker 1: you know what, I couldn't understand it.
Speaker 2: But I was about to say I wouldn't mind doing
Speaker 2: more of it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I had the funnest time ever. So like, if
Speaker 1: you're not a hiker, I'm gonna recommend that you do
Speaker 1: the hanging rock. Michael was calling it the hanging cock
Speaker 1: and I almost said hanging cock, but it's not. It's
Speaker 1: hanging rock in the Mount Massiden Ranges. It was beautiful.
Speaker 2: How long is the hike?
Speaker 1: It's like thirty minutes up, thirty minutes down, which is bad.
Speaker 1: Which is the optimum time?
Speaker 2: Really good?
Speaker 1: Yeah, because then it's like like if halfway through the
Speaker 1: hike you change your mind, you're only fifteen minutes up.
Speaker 2: It's too hard to turn back around to be like na,
Speaker 2: this is it.
Speaker 1: No, But like when we got to the top, it
Speaker 1: was like very rocky and it kind of felt like
Speaker 1: we got to like explore and like find our way
Speaker 1: and it's cool. It was adventurous, it was fun.
Speaker 2: Was it a waterfall or was it more just rock hanging?
Speaker 1: It was it was a rock hanging hanging rock.
Speaker 2: It's a pretty self explaining.
Speaker 1: Very self exclita. True. Yeah, but when before we actually
Speaker 1: went on the hike, this lady was like, oh, there
Speaker 1: was like this group of like private school girls who
Speaker 1: went up there and got lost, and it was like
Speaker 1: this spooky myth and apparently it's a movie, has been
Speaker 1: a movie, is a movie.
Speaker 2: It was like a horror movie.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure because I haven't seen it, but it's
Speaker 1: a movie of some I to watch it. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna watch it actually since I've just done it. But
Speaker 1: I was like, why would you tell me that right
Speaker 1: before I climb it?
Speaker 2: I think that sounds like an urban legend.
Speaker 1: People love a spooky ghost story, don't they.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was one of the horrors I watched on
Speaker 2: the weekend was actually urban legend and it's about like
Speaker 2: all the urban legends from in the past that people told.
Speaker 1: What do you mean urban legend? So and like, yeah,
Speaker 1: what is that.
Speaker 2: It's when people tell through generations a story to scare
Speaker 2: people interacting in a certain way in a certain way,
Speaker 2: or do something in a certain way.
Speaker 1: Interesting. Yeah, I love that, very interesting.
Speaker 2: So I feel like that's an urban legend. Yeah, to
Speaker 2: not get lost.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But overall, great weekend. It was nice having a
Speaker 1: little staycation. By the end of it, we did kind
Speaker 1: of miss home though, like sometimes you know, you just
Speaker 1: missed your own bed, so you had two nights we
Speaker 1: had two nights there at Cleveland Winery. It was beautiful.
Speaker 1: There was like a fire, There's like lots of like
Speaker 1: nice property to explore. It was just so cold, like
Speaker 1: when you get out of the city you forget that
Speaker 1: it drops down like a few degrees.
Speaker 2: I like that though, the staycation that would be made.
Speaker 1: I like it when you're prepared to. I mean I
Speaker 1: did pack for it, but I feel like if I
Speaker 1: was to do it again, i'd go buy some thermals. Anyway,
Speaker 1: how was your weekend?
Speaker 2: Good? Just had another chilled weekend. I went for Walks
Speaker 2: coffee past our. Horror movies are usual. I know I
Speaker 2: was in but I was in the sauna the other day,
Speaker 2: so I just want to I don't want to get
Speaker 2: like this little ranch going, but just let me say
Speaker 2: it because I almost feel bad that insay something at
Speaker 2: the time. But under the circumstances you're in the sauna,
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna, like, you know, have a go in
Speaker 2: front of people.
Speaker 1: So I'm interested. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So I was in the sauna, and at my sauna
Speaker 2: you can see the gym, so if you sit there,
Speaker 2: you can see like the big windows of the gym
Speaker 2: in the sauna. Yeah. From the sauna windows. You can
Speaker 2: see the windows of the gym with a view.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it sounds nice.
Speaker 2: Well, you can overlook the whole like the whole aquatic center,
Speaker 2: so all the pools you can see after the gym.
Speaker 2: So there were these two blokes sitting there and I
Speaker 2: later found out when they were kept talking that they're
Speaker 2: actually fathers and had wives and they were talking about that.
Speaker 2: But they were sitting there and they were looking up
Speaker 2: at the gym and there was like this this lady
Speaker 2: training and they were making like misogynistic derogatory terms at
Speaker 2: this girl. I'm not going to repeat them like on
Speaker 2: here because I don't want to give that like you know,
Speaker 2: the time of air. But they were saying just shit
Speaker 2: about her training. And I was sort of sitting there
Speaker 2: and I was like, like, that's a woman out there training,
Speaker 2: like trying to give it a go, and you're just
Speaker 2: making fun of her. And I just was like, like,
Speaker 2: that's somebody's mum, someone's daughter, someone's sister, Like, and you
Speaker 2: guys have kids yourself, how would you feel if someone
Speaker 2: was saying that shit? You know what I mean.
Speaker 1: It's gusty and it makes me so mad.
Speaker 2: I feel bad for not like saying something, but you're
Speaker 2: in a sauna and like you're trying to relax, you're
Speaker 2: not going to speak up to these guys. Like what
Speaker 2: happens then, like you say something and it makes awkward
Speaker 2: like I've got you know, like you might want to
Speaker 2: get in a fight. I might get into a fight, yeah,
Speaker 2: and like I don't have time for that. So I'm
Speaker 2: going to use like this platform to say to men,
Speaker 2: like it's twenty twenty three, like be better, like do
Speaker 2: fucking better, like don't don't like have a like a
Speaker 2: laugh of your mate something past that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so foul. It honestly makes my blood at
Speaker 1: boil hearing you say this. The fact, like you know,
Speaker 1: people go to the gym to like you know, work
Speaker 1: their bodies and like help their mental health, and it's
Speaker 1: just sad that it's not a safe place. Yeah, creepy
Speaker 1: guys like that talking about someone.
Speaker 2: And they're not fucking like they shouldn't be throwing rocks
Speaker 2: in their glass house like they know, oil paintings themselves
Speaker 2: and then to put someone else down for you know,
Speaker 2: going out there and training, like fuck you.
Speaker 1: The fact that these guys have like wives and kids,
Speaker 1: that's so wild. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well, the rest of the way they were talking was
Speaker 2: sort of like derogatory as well about other things.
Speaker 1: I was just like about their wives just.
Speaker 2: About like, yeah, he was one of them had gone
Speaker 2: away and it was I could to get away from
Speaker 2: you know, the missus and the kids or something, and
Speaker 2: I was just like, you guys are fuck with It's like, yeah,
Speaker 2: gross behavior, and it's just like I thought were better
Speaker 2: than that, Like, come on, it's twenty twenty three.
Speaker 1: Do you wish now in hindsight that you had said
Speaker 1: something or are you kind of just like what can
Speaker 1: I do?
Speaker 2: What can you say? Like could you say something to him?
Speaker 2: And then like what they get angried? Like you don't know,
Speaker 2: like if they get angry and the next you in
Speaker 2: a fist fight and the sauna.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have things like that as well, where like
Speaker 1: I feel like my personality is very like I try
Speaker 1: to be a people pleaser. Like when I meet people,
Speaker 1: I like, you know, try to make them like me,
Speaker 1: like you know, not try to make them like me,
Speaker 1: but like I want to give a good first impression
Speaker 1: and like make people feel comfortable and all of those things.
Speaker 1: But if someone says something that they don't agree with,
Speaker 1: and it happened to me actually at the hairdressers probably
Speaker 1: last year, someone said something that was very below the
Speaker 1: bell and it made me feel extremely uncomfortable. It was
Speaker 1: the hairdresser who was doing my hair, and instead of
Speaker 1: saying something, I was just like I just asked a
Speaker 1: receptionist like I was like, oh, I'd prefer not to
Speaker 1: be booked in with her again, because it was my
Speaker 1: way of just like bowing out. But like, in hindsight,
Speaker 1: I get this like feeling of like, fuck, I should
Speaker 1: have said something, and like.
Speaker 2: Saying something, she's just going to make like an argument
Speaker 2: and bring like I don't.
Speaker 1: Know, would you say something in a way that's like educating,
Speaker 1: but then it makes it awkward.
Speaker 2: But then it's like, well, the culture of the sauna
Speaker 2: is there's regulars and they come in a lot, like
Speaker 2: I haven't seen them since, but I could probably say
Speaker 2: something in the future and it just make like I
Speaker 2: don't know, It's like a lot of people say a
Speaker 2: lot of stuff in the sauna. There's a lot of
Speaker 2: people with a lot of opinions in there. Like really
Speaker 2: the other day people going on about the vaccine still
Speaker 2: and how like they didn't get it, and I was
Speaker 2: just like I didn't say anything. I was just like,
Speaker 2: fucking enough, I'm not going to say anything to that.
Speaker 2: Like it's just like, yeah, what's the point of getting
Speaker 2: involved in that stuff. So I'm sort of known for
Speaker 2: sitting by myself in the sauna, so just relaxing, saying
Speaker 2: a thing, Yeah, I'm there to relax, but yeah, it's
Speaker 2: just like it's like what do you do, Like do
Speaker 2: you like say, hey, like watch it. That's like someone's daughter,
Speaker 2: and then they like there's two of them, they might
Speaker 2: arc up, and you know me, I'm not going to
Speaker 2: backshy away from something like that. And then the next thing,
Speaker 2: you know, true, a couple of sweaty men are throwing
Speaker 2: fisties in a sauna. You know, it's not really the
Speaker 2: best thing for me. I know.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, like, for me, moments like that, do
Speaker 1: live rent free in my head? And I'm like, should
Speaker 1: I would?
Speaker 2: I could? Well, That's why I wanted to use this
Speaker 2: platform to say something to men that are listening, just
Speaker 2: fucking be better, be better, do better, Like seriously that
Speaker 2: we're in twenty twenty.
Speaker 1: Three, Like I don't comment on anyone's appearance, don't comment
Speaker 1: on anything about anyone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like positive exactly, and it's not your place,
Speaker 2: like they're out there trying to train. Like. Yeah. On
Speaker 2: a lighter note, though, two separate guys have both said
Speaker 2: that I've slimmed down since going to the sauna. What's
Speaker 2: that's a positive to come out of the sauna.
Speaker 1: Why do you need to slim down that?
Speaker 2: Well, I just feel like I was carrying a bit
Speaker 2: of extra weight and just yeah, I've leaned up a
Speaker 2: lot more. But I said they were like saying, oh,
Speaker 2: it's the sauna. Both of them said, oh, it's the sauna.
Speaker 2: And I was like, not to do with the twenty
Speaker 2: five minutes on the step that I just did, or
Speaker 2: me throwing around weights, definding gravity and physics, Like, nothing
Speaker 2: to do with that. So I was like, yeah, this
Speaker 2: saun is mean to help.
Speaker 1: Yes, Well, look I don't think you need to lean down.
Speaker 2: I need to bulk up muscles.
Speaker 1: Okay. So I have a recommendation because Michael and I
Speaker 1: last night started watching The Ultimatum. It's on Netflix. Have
Speaker 1: you seen it before? No?
Speaker 2: What's it?
Speaker 1: It's so good? Okay. So it's like about couples who
Speaker 1: are at a crossroads. So one like wants to get
Speaker 1: married and like start a family and all of this stuff,
Speaker 1: and the other one's unsure, so they apply for a show.
Speaker 1: One gives an ultimatum.
Speaker 2: That will that will make things better.
Speaker 1: Well, it's such good tv though, and then basically in
Speaker 1: the show, they basically all kind of meet each other
Speaker 1: as couples and then they all break up and they
Speaker 1: kind of go into a mixer and like get to
Speaker 1: know other people, and then they do like they pick
Speaker 1: a different person to their partner, and then they do
Speaker 1: like a trial three week marriage with the new person,
Speaker 1: and like, yeah, you say, you can imagine make a relationship.
Speaker 1: Great TV, Great TV, And that's my recommendation because fuck
Speaker 1: it was some easy watching. Anyway, Michael's been trying to
Speaker 1: do a few things around the and we have this
Speaker 1: running joke because my ex was a trady, very handy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and Michael wouldn't come across as a handyman.
Speaker 1: This is a running joke. I know Michael is going
Speaker 1: to be listening to this. I need to tread carefully,
Speaker 1: but we have this running joke where like he was
Speaker 1: trying to put up this sign at our engagement party,
Speaker 1: and in the midst of trying to put it up.
Speaker 1: I said, you're not very handy, and he's taking that
Speaker 1: extremely personally, and since then it's become this running joke
Speaker 1: in our relationship. But it's like a joke, but he
Speaker 1: like takes it personally still, so it's like not that funny,
Speaker 1: but it's still funny, if you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know why he's saying it personally. I'm
Speaker 2: not a handyman. I'll put my hand up say the
Speaker 2: first s. I've done a lot of trade work in
Speaker 2: my life, but does not make me a handyman.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's because my ex was a trade so it's
Speaker 1: like he.
Speaker 2: Wants to you can't see Josh as a handyman.
Speaker 1: Not that oh.
Speaker 2: I was going to say. I mean, I've seen him
Speaker 2: work on the block. It's it's not very handy.
Speaker 1: Anyway. It was really funny because obviously we were watching
Speaker 1: The Ultimatum last night and we were at the part
Speaker 1: where people choose a different partner to do like a
Speaker 1: trial marriage for three weeks and they have to get
Speaker 1: up in front of the group and like say why
Speaker 1: they want to choose that partner, and like everyone was crying.
Speaker 1: It was an emotional wreck. Obviously, if your partner who
Speaker 1: you want to marry is standing up saying why they
Speaker 1: want to choose another partner. So anyway, me and Michael
Speaker 1: being toxic as fuck, I like stood up in front
Speaker 1: of the bed watching it in bed and I was like,
Speaker 1: I want to choose Julian because he's really handy. And
Speaker 1: from there on Michael and.
Speaker 2: I we were just like, what did Michael say?
Speaker 1: Because I can't believe you'd say that. I can't believe
Speaker 1: you'd pick Julian.
Speaker 2: Who has he been trying to do like little handy
Speaker 2: stuff through the house to try and improve that he's handy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's like making no no. I love you, Michael.
Speaker 1: If you're listening, you're the most the handiest man from
Speaker 1: man in my life.
Speaker 2: I don't patronize you. I remember when I first started
Speaker 2: seeing Jen, her light bulb in her bedroom hadn't been
Speaker 2: switched and she said something like my ex is meant
Speaker 2: to switch that innovative blah bla blah, and I was like,
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, here we go. So yeah, so
Speaker 2: I went to the shops, got a big and like
Speaker 2: you didn't even have to stand on anything of my height,
Speaker 2: and just switched it over. And I can't fish her.
Speaker 2: I'm not a handy man.
Speaker 1: So you did it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I did it, but just be like, yeah, I'm handy,
Speaker 2: so it was a fluke. Yeah, I'm like, that's the
Speaker 2: last time, handy.
Speaker 1: You're like, I've done one thing. Tick that.
Speaker 2: Look, Yeah, I'll never do never do anything.
Speaker 1: Electrics is a weird one though, because I don't want
Speaker 1: I wouldn't want Michael to like funk around with the
Speaker 1: electrics because dealing.
Speaker 2: With live wires just but I get what you mean,
Speaker 2: no rewiring anything.
Speaker 1: But anyway, watch the Ultimatum because it was great. And
Speaker 1: the one, the specific one that we watch because there's
Speaker 1: two at the moment, was the Lesbian edition one.
Speaker 2: Do you recommend doing what you guys did and standing up?
Speaker 1: No, especially when you say something that's already contentious in
Speaker 1: the relationship, do not do That's.
Speaker 2: Just what a trigger point. Well, I promised you guys
Speaker 2: last week two recommendations.
Speaker 1: Yes you did.
Speaker 2: I've already had one, but so you're going to get
Speaker 2: three this week.
Speaker 1: He's doubling down.
Speaker 2: Yes, so my first one is a mucha late. Really,
Speaker 2: have you had one?
Speaker 1: No? I haven't.
Speaker 2: Actually like green tea.
Speaker 1: I love green tea.
Speaker 2: Okay, So it's like green tea based late. So they
Speaker 2: make it it's coffee the coffee. Yeah, so they make
Speaker 2: it like the same, like consistency is a coffee latte,
Speaker 2: but green tea taste.
Speaker 1: It doesn't look green.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, like the foam screen, Yeah, ff is green
Speaker 2: because obviously they pour it in, that's it green. Recommend
Speaker 2: it with honey though, if it's your first time, you know,
Speaker 2: just to sweeten it up a little bit.
Speaker 1: I hate adding sugar to anything.
Speaker 2: So do I I'm sweet enough?
Speaker 1: How many times does here is that?
Speaker 2: Lie? So sweet? I'll rot your teeth. But but I
Speaker 2: recomon putting honey in just to get used to that taste.
Speaker 2: That's what the barista told me.
Speaker 1: Right, So it's kind of like those things that you
Speaker 1: need to try a couple of times, just like easy
Speaker 1: the taste of it.
Speaker 2: But it's good if you're replacing a coffee like me
Speaker 2: who has eighteen a day and is not going to
Speaker 2: stop or slow down for nothing, it's a good one
Speaker 2: to replace it. Also, I think I might be late
Speaker 2: to this, but I love, you know, movies, watching movies,
Speaker 2: so I get popcorn to watch it. And I tried
Speaker 2: cobs drizzled popcorn, the chocolate one. Have you tried it?
Speaker 1: I haven't. It doesn't sound like something i'd be into it.
Speaker 1: Continue that. I just don't think I would like chocolate
Speaker 1: on my popcorns.
Speaker 2: Well, it's this thing about people putting malteesers into their popcorns,
Speaker 2: but they have a did it to like the actual
Speaker 2: popcorn has like the flavor through it.
Speaker 1: The flavor.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well the one I didn't have was maltese. It
Speaker 2: was just like chocolate flavor, but you get it, like
Speaker 2: it's sort of playing on that.
Speaker 1: Look, it doesn't sound like something I would like, but
Speaker 1: I will try it because I appreciate your recommendations. Do
Speaker 1: you know what actually, remember when you gave that recommendations
Speaker 1: of when you were being healthy and you got like
Speaker 1: Greek yogurt and dorito chips. I actually tried that and
Speaker 1: it was really good.
Speaker 2: It's unbelievable.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was good.
Speaker 2: So like that's a good way. I still I still
Speaker 2: do that to this day. Yeah, still do that. I
Speaker 2: love it. It's nice.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: Have you replaced sour cream with Greek yoga?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, That's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2: On everything as well, like nasty Yeah, okay, continue.
Speaker 1: Okay, we'll look on that note. Let's jump into our
Speaker 1: hot line. Hello, you've reached Anna and that we can't
Speaker 1: get to the phone right now, but please leave us
Speaker 1: a message on our hot line after the beat.
Speaker 2: Okay, so this hotline is anonymous.
Speaker 3: Hey Ana, I love your pod and I've been hesitant
Speaker 3: to write in, but I just wanted to know your.
Speaker 2: Thoughts on periods.
Speaker 3: My partner and I've been together for a year and
Speaker 3: he's the first guy I've dated that refuses to have
Speaker 3: sex when I'm on my period. He obviously has the
Speaker 3: right to feel the way he does, and I wouldn't
Speaker 3: want him feeling uncomfortable during sex, but it really lowers
Speaker 3: my self esteem and I dread when it's that time
Speaker 3: of month. The whole time, I feel so unattractive and
Speaker 3: I'm wanted by him. I've suggested to use condoms during
Speaker 3: that time of month, but he's strictly against it. I'll
Speaker 3: also add that watching porn is in the relationship is
Speaker 3: a boundary for me. I know I don't need to
Speaker 3: justify myself, but I went through a lot of childhood
Speaker 3: trauma around the topic and I haven't healed from it.
Speaker 3: A couple months ago, I snooped through his phone. I
Speaker 3: know I feel sick that I did it, as it's
Speaker 3: his privacy, but I had a gut feeling when snooping,
Speaker 3: I found that he'd been clicking through OnlyFans links to girls.
Speaker 3: I know he's in complete denial of it, but I
Speaker 3: have a feeling he was doing it whilst on that time,
Speaker 3: when it was that time of my life. So it
Speaker 3: just made me feel so sick. Let me know your thoughts.
Speaker 2: First of all, I want to say, like, just because
Speaker 2: he doesn't have sex when it's on your when you're
Speaker 2: on your period, like it's hard. I know it's hard
Speaker 2: to say, but I wouldn't take it personally, like it's
Speaker 2: not like it's not that he's not attracted to you
Speaker 2: as a person. I think maybe he's just, I don't
Speaker 2: hate to say it, but a little bit immature and
Speaker 2: a little bit like that he thinks that.
Speaker 1: It's gross, But I think it's a personal preference, like
Speaker 1: I think that everyone has the right to pick for me,
Speaker 1: and you were comfortable with it, and I think that's
Speaker 1: been an evolution Like I wasn't initially, like when I
Speaker 1: was eighteen, I wasn't like out here and trying to
Speaker 1: like get laid on my period, but like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: think everyone does have the right to choose. As Matt said,
Speaker 1: I definitely wouldn't take that personally. I know it's sometimes
Speaker 1: hard not to personalize things, but I just don't think
Speaker 1: it's personal.
Speaker 2: But I did, Sorry, I did like how she was saying, like,
Speaker 2: use a condom, maybe try other things like in the shower. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so like it just washes the blood away like something
Speaker 2: like that. I think maybe that might, but who knows
Speaker 2: if he doesn't continue doing it. Do you have any
Speaker 2: tips for that?
Speaker 1: Like I think sometimes you just have to respect people's boundaries,
Speaker 1: like if that's a serious boundary for him where he's
Speaker 1: not willing to budge. I think that it's not like
Speaker 1: an end of relationship type of thing, like the relationship
Speaker 1: can go on. But I think it's about just like
Speaker 1: you know, feeling confident within herself to realize, like it
Speaker 1: isn't the fact that he thinks she's disgusting or like
Speaker 1: it's it's got nothing to do with that.
Speaker 2: And maybe in that week adapt the way you like
Speaker 2: what you do. Maybe it's not sex if he's not
Speaker 2: comfortable with that, maybe there's like other things they can
Speaker 2: do masturbation week, Yeah, masturbation week or like one is
Speaker 2: that like she could they could like she could get yeah,
Speaker 2: like a vibrator out and they could have that.
Speaker 1: Well, but I think he just doesn't want to like
Speaker 1: have anything to do with it. That sort of sounds
Speaker 1: like so I'm saying.
Speaker 2: Like vibrator, she can just put it in in. Okay,
Speaker 2: well I've got I think the sucking vibrators, know what
Speaker 2: I mean.
Speaker 1: The sucking vibrator, because then it's like not getting missed.
Speaker 2: You not the one that has the loop and goes in. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. I don't need to talk about all of
Speaker 1: the vibrators.
Speaker 2: That one is. That one is. That's my recommendation this week.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's move to the only fans because that's a
Speaker 1: different story. Because with the period, I don't think she
Speaker 1: should take it personally with the pawn. If it's something
Speaker 1: that's a childhood trauma to her and she has verbalized that,
Speaker 1: I think that might be something that she should bring
Speaker 1: up with him, even if she has gone snooping. I personally,
Speaker 1: for me, I don't think she should sit on that.
Speaker 1: It's clearly causing her a lot of distress, and I
Speaker 1: think she should bring it to her partner and say, hey, look,
Speaker 1: I had a bad feeling. I did the wrong thing.
Speaker 1: I looked through your phone, but I did find this.
Speaker 1: Especially if it's girls who she knows, like, that's not okay.
Speaker 1: I would be furious.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not just random porn side, it's like actual
Speaker 2: only fans and girls that she knows. Why is he
Speaker 2: looking at girls that she knows? Anyway, it's a bit weird.
Speaker 1: It's a bit off and I don't know friends or
Speaker 1: it's very strang. I don't think that's okay, and I
Speaker 1: think it needs to be definitely brought to the table
Speaker 1: and not like swiped under.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, if she just sits on it, it's going
Speaker 2: to cause resentment and cause actual under like more issues
Speaker 2: when the underlying issue is.
Speaker 1: That, yeah, have you ever like had a problem with
Speaker 1: your partner and you haven't told them like that you're
Speaker 1: annoyed about something and they're like.
Speaker 2: I'm pretty vocal. I wish that I could do.
Speaker 1: That, Like it's something that you're like, I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: like bring this up because I don't want to start
Speaker 1: an argument, and then they like sneeze the wrong way
Speaker 1: and you're like you fucking asshole.
Speaker 2: I know, I sort of bring everything up. I wish
Speaker 2: that I was more like that.
Speaker 1: I mean I do bring stuff up, but I mean
Speaker 1: it's happened to me like once or twice, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: you know, like you just redirect all and they're.
Speaker 2: Confused at why you're You're annoyed at that one thing, which.
Speaker 1: Is why we always say, don't bury your problems. Always
Speaker 1: bring them to the surface.
Speaker 2: I reckon, she brings it up, and then it will
Speaker 2: tell how he reacts. So if he reacts in a
Speaker 2: certain way, then it might look at like maybe you know,
Speaker 2: not going further with him, But if he's understanding, maybe yeah,
Speaker 2: but it seems like he's gonna like be difficult if
Speaker 2: he's been so stubborn on the whole sex thing.
Speaker 1: Though from a guy's perspective, do you think it's like
Speaker 1: strange that, like, is there a problem that in the
Speaker 1: time of the month that's when he's looking at the
Speaker 1: only mans or do you think it's just like a coincidence.
Speaker 2: I don't. Well, if there's anything they teach you and
Speaker 2: watching lack you know, detective shows, there's no such thing
Speaker 2: as coincidences. I think that, yeah, he's maybe substituting sex
Speaker 2: with that only fans and porn if it's start week.
Speaker 1: It's hard though, because like it's pru no, no, no, I'm
Speaker 1: just saying, like it's it's a hard position to be
Speaker 1: put in, Like, obviously he has to respect the fact
Speaker 1: that she has trauma around like Pawn, but then if
Speaker 1: she's kind of controlling what he's doing in regards to Pawn,
Speaker 1: that it's a bit tricky because you.
Speaker 2: Don't want to like, yeah, I think it's maybe discussing
Speaker 2: it with him and coming to a resolution happy with
Speaker 2: both of you.
Speaker 1: That's all we have time for that. Thank you so
Speaker 1: much for joining us on the Where's Your head at? Hotline.
Speaker 1: As always, we want to hear from you guys, so
Speaker 1: send us any storytime, questions, advice or tea or any
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