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Speaker 1: Good ay, welcome to the show. Thanks for down learning it.

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Speaker 1: This is better than yesterday. Useful tools and useful conversations

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Speaker 1: to help make your day to day better than yesterday.

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Speaker 1: Every episode since twenty thirteen. My name's Oshia Ginsburg. I'm

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Speaker 1: glad you're here if you've never heard the show before.

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Speaker 1: I'm a guy who's worked on television, who worked on radio.

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Speaker 1: I write books, I make this podcast. I pick up

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Speaker 1: dog poo with a pair of barbecue tongs, and I

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Speaker 1: put a bit of compost. And yeah, I'm glad you

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Speaker 1: made it to the show. Thanks for being a part

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Speaker 1: of it. Got a question for it? When we tell

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Speaker 1: ourselves about who belongs and who doesn't, I don't know

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Speaker 1: what's that person doing in my street? Had that person

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Speaker 1: dressed like that get in here? I mean, I'm here,

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Speaker 1: I look good. What are they doing? He who let

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Speaker 1: that guy who works for that politician who says those

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Speaker 1: things into this birthday party? When we really think about

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Speaker 1: the stories we tell ourselves about who belongs and who doesn't,

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Speaker 1: how often are we wrong? Day's guest deals with those

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Speaker 1: kind of judgments all day, every day, and how she

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Speaker 1: handles them. It's well worth listening to I'll only test you.

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Speaker 1: You might be thinking, no, no, no, I'm pretty cool. I'm

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Speaker 1: an open minded person. Well, let's test your who belongs

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Speaker 1: and who doesn't story. Here we go. My guest today

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Speaker 1: is a stand up comedian, a former stripper, an only

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Speaker 1: Fans creator, and a mother. Are you still here? What

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Speaker 1: point did you check out? Where was the line for you?

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Speaker 1: It's okay if you got alone. We made this conversation

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Speaker 1: will possibly challenge you a bit, but it's interesting. It's

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Speaker 1: well worth listening to me. Nikki Justice has the story

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Speaker 1: that you just have to hear to believe. I mean,

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Speaker 1: yeah saying that, but it's honestly, it's just your standard

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Speaker 1: story of growing up around addiction, joining the circus when

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Speaker 1: you're still a kid, then making a career as an

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Speaker 1: adult entertainer and as a stand up comedian. You know,

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Speaker 1: that's pretty interesting. And this conversation we talk about what

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Speaker 1: it really means to be judged and how much of

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Speaker 1: that judgment actually lives within the person doing the judging.

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Speaker 1: We also explore motherhood, shame, sex, work, comedy, trauma, and

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Speaker 1: the very strange way is that we all try to

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Speaker 1: fit in or just try to belong. NICKI is candid

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Speaker 1: and authentic in how she tells the story her perspective. Mate,

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Speaker 1: just change your mind about some of those times when

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Speaker 1: you pull on the judge judge your pants and get Galilee.

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Speaker 1: Enjoy the conversation. This is NICKI Justice. Thank you so

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Speaker 1: much for being here, Thank you.

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Speaker 2: For having that.

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Speaker 1: How are you.

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Speaker 2: I'm good, Yeah, yeah, a little bit tired. I've been

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Speaker 2: doing a lot of traveling this year, so it's coming

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Speaker 2: out to the end of the year. I'm looking to

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Speaker 2: forward to a few weeks.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like that's going to happen. Come on, we're like

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Speaker 1: thirty two days from Christmas. Wolf keeps asking me. It's like,

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Speaker 1: there's no, they're.

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Speaker 2: Not really any's no fucking rash, there's not really any stopping. Like,

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Speaker 2: I'm just to wrap up the end of my current

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Speaker 2: tour and then then I've got my previous show from

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Speaker 2: my next one perth Friend starts middle of January and

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Speaker 2: then it's off again.

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Speaker 1: Are you a new hour every year kind of person?

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Speaker 2: Well? I am, now, like this was my first hour

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Speaker 2: this year, and then I'm writing my second hour.

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Speaker 1: Now get it done. Yeah, it's a lot of one

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Speaker 1: of my best friends I've known since I was eight

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Speaker 1: he's been to stand up for the last fifteen years

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Speaker 1: or so, and just his work ethic is just unfrecking believable,

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Speaker 1: just how much it is. I mean, there's a lot

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Speaker 1: to Here's two there's two ways I could talk to

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Speaker 1: I can talk to you about I could get there,

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Speaker 1: so tell me the story about how a nice girl

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Speaker 1: like you ends up with a neck tattoo like trauma,

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Speaker 1: or I could take here all that in the intro.

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Speaker 1: And what I'm more interested in is the insights from

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Speaker 1: someone who's lived a life that you have lived, because

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Speaker 1: there's so much that I would like to explore with this.

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Speaker 1: You have a son around my son's age. I've got

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Speaker 1: three kids, three kids, so wow, and you look about

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Speaker 1: twenty two.

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Speaker 2: Thank you that I have heard you. Twenty seven that's

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Speaker 2: the joke.

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Speaker 1: Twenty seven. Strippy is now.

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Speaker 2: And it's out there, but I'll never admit it.

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Speaker 1: I should know this. How does one calculate stripper is?

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Speaker 2: I guess it's kind of like dog years. But look,

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Speaker 2: strippers just don't get to thirty. It's not hot, right,

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Speaker 2: so we don't age over the So I was still

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Speaker 2: stripping when I was like thirty five, thirty six, but

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Speaker 2: would never admit that. Why men just they want you

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Speaker 2: to be under thirty, or maybe it's just the thing

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Speaker 2: we think that, but most strippers will lie once they

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Speaker 2: hit thirty. We're not telling you the truth.

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Speaker 1: Are the boobs in front of my face?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, I actually my guys probably let you hair

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Speaker 2: less than we think that.

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Speaker 1: Can I hear a Motley Cruso time?

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Speaker 2: Great?

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Speaker 3: If you're pre qualified to be on that stage, then

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Speaker 3: I'm here for it. Yeah, you know, that's pretty much

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Speaker 3: what's going through there mine pretty much. I mean, I'm

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Speaker 3: not going to speak for every fellow industry club, but

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Speaker 3: having been one, yeah, Like I have.

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Speaker 2: A bit about the fact that I was actually pretty

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Speaker 2: bad stripper. I can't dance like, I have no rhythm.

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Speaker 2: It's really embarrassing. Does it matter? No?

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Speaker 1: Wow, So I'm a fair fair play like I'm I'm

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Speaker 1: a sober person. But there was a time before I

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Speaker 1: got sober, and before I kind of looked at all

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Speaker 1: the avoidant behaviors and other kind of where all the

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Speaker 1: risk taking stuff was coming from, when I would do

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Speaker 1: a lot of those avoiding behaviors and take risks, and

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Speaker 1: some of those risks involved me being in venues where

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Speaker 1: people who used to do your job also worked, and

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Speaker 1: I'm quite fascinated as to what it's like on the

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Speaker 1: other side of things.

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Speaker 2: I was talking about this with a friend yesterday. Actually,

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Speaker 2: so I always, somehow, I always end up back in

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Speaker 2: the adult industry every time I become single, and this

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Speaker 2: time's been no different. I didn't actually think I would

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Speaker 2: because this time I'm a comedian, didn't really need it,

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Speaker 2: but I've ended up on so I'm on only fans

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Speaker 2: as well. Wasn't planned. I was. I was going to

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Speaker 2: sell some old stripper archive photos put them on there,

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Speaker 2: but then it like took off really quickly, and now

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Speaker 2: I'm like in the top one percent. I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 2: I don't hate the player. I hate the game. I

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Speaker 2: need Like the money's good. It means that because like

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Speaker 2: I'm touring. It's giving me a nice paying for a

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Speaker 2: decent lifestyle of travel and stuff. But I'm not making

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Speaker 2: much profit from comedy at the moment, which yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you do it for the love, not for the money.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So anyway, but I so my new show that I'm

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Speaker 2: writing at the moment is about the adult industry, and

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Speaker 2: you know, I've always you know, I've been in an

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Speaker 2: out of it over the years, and I mean everyone's different.

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Speaker 2: There's definitely people in it for survival or for you know,

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Speaker 2: more or repeating traumatic patterns and stuff. But I actually

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Speaker 2: found like, so I went back to it when I

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Speaker 2: became a single mum. It meant I could spend all

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Speaker 2: day at home being a mum, do the school runs,

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Speaker 2: and then at nighttime get a babysitter they were already

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Speaker 2: in bed, and go out and strip on the weekends.

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Speaker 2: And I made really good money. I was able to separate,

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Speaker 2: you know, mum life, and so it was actually quite

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Speaker 2: for me. I actually like, I loved it. I was

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Speaker 2: grateful for it, and I had fun.

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Speaker 1: Well, it's important, Yeah, that's important. What as someone who

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Speaker 1: in the past has struggled with the judgments of others.

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Speaker 1: You used to be married to a biker, an outlaw biker,

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Speaker 1: a single mum, works as a stripper, also has an

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Speaker 1: only fans account.

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Speaker 2: I'm kind of asking to be judged on I Well.

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Speaker 1: I'm imagining You're able to be here in this room

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Speaker 1: is because you have found a way to deal with

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Speaker 1: how much you expect the approval of others and what

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Speaker 1: others approval mean to you. What have you learned about that?

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Speaker 2: Well, Like, I'm a people pleaser and I want people

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Speaker 2: to like me, but I do understand I'm a polarizing

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Speaker 2: person and I live a complicated life and I'm not

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Speaker 2: going to be everyone's cup of tea. But I do

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Speaker 2: find like even just doing my show, so there are

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Speaker 2: a lot of people at face value who probably would

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Speaker 2: judge me and maybe not like the things that I'm

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Speaker 2: doing or have done, But then they come to my

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Speaker 2: show and they see like the real person and then

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Speaker 2: get they get to know me and the way I've

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Speaker 2: connected with people from so many different walks of life

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Speaker 2: that I've got to stop judging them. Like I look

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Speaker 2: at my audience sometime I'm like, oh, you're going to

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Speaker 2: hate me, and then I'll like really connect with them

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Speaker 2: and have a great time. And at the end, I

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Speaker 2: have these really great chats with all these people who

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Speaker 2: have lived completely different lives to me, but we kind

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Speaker 2: of bonded.

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Speaker 1: It's so interesting that in that scenario, the what I

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Speaker 1: perceive is that both the audiences, if they are in

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Speaker 1: judgment of you or your preconception of their judgment of you. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: has got to do with both persons. Shame yeah, and

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Speaker 1: that the audience has the shame of I probably wouldn't

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Speaker 1: mind shoving fifty bucks in there. I did wank to

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Speaker 1: you know the thing, and then I deleted all my

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Speaker 1: files and my wife doesn't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, tripers

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Speaker 1: are bad. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well, there's so much judgment, but there's also like it

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Speaker 2: only exists because there's so much demand and a lot

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Speaker 2: of the judging. Like I know, like there's certain people

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Speaker 2: that I know who massively judge people in the sex

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Speaker 2: work industry, but also massive supporters, like I know that

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Speaker 2: they're subscribing to women on only fans and giving them

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Speaker 2: all money. It's like, well, like, which is it.

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Speaker 1: Tell me about the idea of when the idea of

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Speaker 1: yeah I will take their job, about that club? When

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Speaker 1: does that show up as yes, I will do that.

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Speaker 2: So I think I was just like I was drawn

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Speaker 2: to it quite young. I think it's because I've got

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Speaker 2: a second generation adult worker. Although actually my mom said

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Speaker 2: my great my great grandmother was also apparently a sexy worker,

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Speaker 2: spicy worker, So maybe it's just spicy worker. Spicy worker,

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Speaker 2: that's what I call it these days.

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Speaker 1: These days us I don't understand spicy.

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Speaker 2: Oh, they just mean like, well, it's instead of saying sexy,

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Speaker 2: but they just use the word spicy these days. Oh,

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Speaker 2: like sex work, spicy work. It's probably just code because

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Speaker 2: of social media. What it is because well, because on

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Speaker 2: social media all those words get like shadow bandits, so

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Speaker 2: you have to have other words for them spicy.

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Speaker 1: But then where does that people go for people who

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Speaker 1: are selling chili s exactly.

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Speaker 2: I also feel sorry for accountants because that's kind of

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Speaker 2: became code word for sex worker as well. I work

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Speaker 2: in finance or I work in accounting, and it's like

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Speaker 2: another code word. It's like, what about the real accountest.

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Speaker 1: Wow, there's so many things I don't know, so so

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Speaker 1: hang on. So grandma grandma was.

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Speaker 2: Great grandma great grandma great. Apparently my mum only just

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Speaker 2: told me this very recently.

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Speaker 1: I was like what, and your mother as well?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so my mom briefly worked, like not for my

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Speaker 2: whole childhood, but she did. So she used to work

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Speaker 2: in this street club but apparently just like on the door.

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Speaker 2: But then she also did work in a massage parlor

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Speaker 2: for a period of time.

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Speaker 1: Wow, well like works work man, Yeah you know, and

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Speaker 1: as you said, the hours are good.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, Like so I talk about all of this

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Speaker 2: in my current show that I do now, so I

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Speaker 2: talk about like why how did I? It was about

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Speaker 2: how how did I get here? Why am I like this?

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Speaker 2: I've clearly clearly made some questionable choices in my life,

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Speaker 2: and I've always gone for like the bad boys and stuff,

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Speaker 2: and so this show was about like trying to figure

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Speaker 2: out why my lot this. So we looked at my

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Speaker 2: childhood and yeah, I did this bit about like because

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Speaker 2: my parents didn't have the best of upbringings themselves, and

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Speaker 2: so while society might judge things they did to make

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Speaker 2: their money, not what they did with it, because they

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Speaker 2: were trying to give us a better life. Like they

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Speaker 2: always sent us to these like really good private schools

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Speaker 2: and stuff like that, despite the fact that they were

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Speaker 2: also doing all these things. So it was, yeah, it

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Speaker 2: was kind. And they were religious as well, so like

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Speaker 2: we actually went to church most Sundays and I loved it.

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Speaker 2: I was like a good little Christian girl.

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Speaker 1: Why why do you love it?

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Speaker 2: Well, I guess it was. I was just brought up

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Speaker 2: on it and I was always you know, I because

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Speaker 2: I was like I loved school and I loved Sunday school,

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Speaker 2: and I loved like I was just like I like

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Speaker 2: my siblings weren't as into it as I was, but

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh for it, and I like I

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Speaker 2: took it so seriously. I had the fear of God

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Speaker 2: and me though, like I used to like my prayers

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Speaker 2: took me so long because I had to like think

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Speaker 2: of every single scenario and person to pray for or

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Speaker 2: they might be dead the next day. I was an

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Speaker 2: anxious child.

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Speaker 1: I can relate to that, like the amount the amount

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Speaker 1: of already internalized anxiety and shame that I had, just

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Speaker 1: from the way that my brain works. When you know,

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Speaker 1: an old man in a dress and not the fun

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Speaker 1: kind of Wednesday night at the Aubrey Show kind of way,

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Speaker 1: he's saying, Oh, that's cause that's Satan, and I'm seven

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Speaker 1: eight or whatever, and so I'm there going, oh, I

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Speaker 1: better say all these fucking poems in my head. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: otherwise I going to burn Yeah yeah, yeah. And I'm

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Speaker 1: a child fucking hell man. Yeah it's not a way

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Speaker 1: to get a kid to buy yeah.

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Speaker 2: But even so, I was like, I was very like

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Speaker 2: I tried to be the best Christian I could be,

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Speaker 2: and but I did question things. So I remember being

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Speaker 2: told like when I was in school, we learned that

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Speaker 2: we we weren't allowed to love the devil, and I

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Speaker 2: clarified that because I was like, hang on, I shouldn't we

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Speaker 2: love the devil because we meant to love sinners and

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Speaker 2: sinners need love more than anybody. And my teacher kind

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Speaker 2: of got mad at me because I was arguing that

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Speaker 2: we should all love the devil. And when she said no,

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh, you guys are like this is

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Speaker 2: like I figured it out. So I actually thought I

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Speaker 2: was going to fix the devil and I was just

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Speaker 2: going to be his friend, and I started praying to

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Speaker 2: the devil when I was like ten, all right, I

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Speaker 2: just wanted to be his friend and let him know

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Speaker 2: that I love him, and I thought I could love

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Speaker 2: him so hard that we wouldn't have seen anymore.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's you know, this is a problem if

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Speaker 1: you get into a relationship and you think you're always

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Speaker 1: going to fix them.

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Speaker 2: Well, this is this is this is why I think

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Speaker 2: I ended up always chasing devils. Kind of checks out.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a bit, there's you know, you can't really

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Speaker 1: get into the reasoning with those guys. I remember a

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Speaker 1: very similar thing. I remember one of it. It was

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Speaker 1: kind of cruel. We're about fifteen, I think, and there

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Speaker 1: was a guy in my class, There was a Christian

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Speaker 1: brother at the front of the room and going, yeah,

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Speaker 1: but sir, why did God allow that child to die? Then? Oh,

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Speaker 1: because he's like, yes, but if he loves why would

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Speaker 1: he cause so much pain and cruelty to their family?

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Speaker 1: And then you know, just kept going down this hypothetical

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Speaker 1: and just made this grown man weep in front of

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Speaker 1: a room of rustless, fifteen year old private school boys.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, yeah, you're being a bit of

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Speaker 1: a but you do have a point. It doesn't mean

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Speaker 1: you have to really destroy your mind, pulling his entire

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Speaker 1: life apart in front of us. I don't know if

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Speaker 1: it's right. It was. It was a bit nuts, but

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Speaker 1: it never made sense to me. Yeah either yet, not

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Speaker 1: that it hasn't that left its mark upon me. There's

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Speaker 1: still things that I feel like, you know, I carry

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Speaker 1: terrible kind of guilts around sometimes and it takes me

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Speaker 1: a while to get past it. We're talking about judgment,

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Speaker 1: how you go through You know, you've got these choices

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Speaker 1: that you've made, so you can't none of us can

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Speaker 1: unmake any of the choices.

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Speaker 2: Oh, it cannot make some of them. I'm getting this

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Speaker 2: one laser at the moment. Wow, I had it laser

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Speaker 2: like a few days ago, so it's a little bit rad.

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Speaker 1: At the moment. I have a tattoo on my body

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Speaker 1: that I started to get laser, and the tattoo is

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Speaker 1: very small and it's part of my body that is

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Speaker 1: rather sensitive. And I took one or two shots of

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Speaker 1: this laser and I went, now, fuck, I'll just believe it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really painful.

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Speaker 1: It hurts so much more than getting it done. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So I'm getting under the one on my wrist as well,

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Speaker 2: and that's also a sensitive spot there, and that was like,

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Speaker 2: oh wow, this is actually I might die.

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Speaker 1: It's pretty fu long. So tell me again about like,

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Speaker 1: what have you come to know about how you process

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Speaker 1: the judgment of others, perhaps when they first meet you,

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Speaker 1: or when you're at a kids party or something like that.

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Speaker 2: I think I think I'm perceiving people to judge me

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Speaker 2: more than they actually are. Maybe, like I have this

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Speaker 2: internal belief that I'm getting judged and maybe I'm not

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Speaker 2: good enough and I don't fit in. And then I

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Speaker 2: get to know people, I'm like, oh, they didn't actually

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Speaker 2: think that at all or sometimes maybe they did a bit,

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Speaker 2: but then we like break down barriers between each other.

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Speaker 2: But I'm judging them too. I'm like, you're a stuck

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Speaker 2: up snot but like yeah.

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Speaker 1: We're expecting to be othered, so yeah yeah spiky yeah,

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Speaker 1: but also then feel othered yeah, but so much wanting

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Speaker 1: to connect. Yeah, but it it really goes to show

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Speaker 1: and you know, good for you for understanding that. Okay,

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Speaker 1: it's just a feeling that it always starts with this,

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Speaker 1: yeah I have to do is talk a little bit

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Speaker 1: about you know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and comedies actually really helped me in that regard

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Speaker 2: because like I also before this show, last year, I

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Speaker 2: did a split bill called Bad Mums. I just do

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Speaker 2: it as a lineup show now, but Bad Mums put

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Speaker 2: me in front of like a room full of women

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Speaker 2: and other mums. And for most of like my kids,

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Speaker 2: like school, I didn't really have many mum friends from

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Speaker 2: the schools because I had like school mom anxiety because

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Speaker 2: I thought they were judging me, and I literally used

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Speaker 2: to try and avoid them because I had they gave

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Speaker 2: me anxiety. I sometimes like when I first when my

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Speaker 2: oldest son started school, So this is like my first

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Speaker 2: time doing the school runs and stuff. My anxiety was

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Speaker 2: so bad that I used to I started going to

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Speaker 2: school on purposely late to avoid all the other mums.

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Speaker 2: All yeah, yeah, But then obviously I've come a long

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Speaker 2: way since then. Like when I first started stand up,

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Speaker 2: I was like, I don't know if I can do

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Speaker 2: this because I was like I used to shake on stage,

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Speaker 2: Like the shake would be like quite very noticeable. It

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Speaker 2: still comes through it every now and then, but it's

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Speaker 2: definitely gotten better. But the Bad Mum Show, yeah, I

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Speaker 2: was like suddenly like seeing all these mums coming out

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Speaker 2: every now and having great chats with them like during

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Speaker 2: and after the show and stuff, and realizing that I

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Speaker 2: was imagining a lot of the judgment.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, what's that like? To understand that the way that

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Speaker 1: you thought the world was treating you was something that

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Speaker 1: you've been creating.

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Speaker 2: Well, I think it was just about my own like

380
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Speaker 2: my own self worth and self beliefs and stuff, which

381
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Speaker 2: I had a lot to work on still do.

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Speaker 1: What does that work look like?

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Speaker 2: I do a lot of journaling. I do a lot

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Speaker 2: of journaling now. I sort of like go in and

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Speaker 2: out of self care rituals and I'm back in them

386
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Speaker 2: at the moment, because I just went through a breakup.

387
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Speaker 2: So as soon as that happened, I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: I don't have time to be sad for too long.

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Speaker 2: So I'm back into journaling, and I really find that

390
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Speaker 2: that helps me. Like I write everything that I'm thinking,

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Speaker 2: and then sometimes you'll think something that's absolutely ridiculous and

392
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Speaker 2: you can see it straight away. It's like, oh, that's

393
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Speaker 2: an interesting thought, but that's not true. And then I'll

394
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Speaker 2: be able to like reframe it, and I'll like find

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Speaker 2: myself evidence of times that you know that's not true,

396
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Speaker 2: and people do like me and I do have friends

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Speaker 2: and things like that.

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Speaker 1: It is incredibly to learn how to do that. I

399
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Speaker 1: remember one of my earlier psychiatrists, earlier, one of the

400
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Speaker 1: middle psychiatrists, I don't know, I was in my late

401
00:18:08,359 --> 00:18:12,280
Speaker 1: thirties at this point. He was talking to me about

402
00:18:13,119 --> 00:18:16,359
Speaker 1: it's super important to write it down because there's something

403
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:18,320
Speaker 1: he was saying it didn't have time to go out

404
00:18:18,359 --> 00:18:22,520
Speaker 1: of the research about there's something about activating the part

405
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Speaker 1: of the body and the part of the brain that

406
00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:26,760
Speaker 1: makes the muscles move, that processes the thoughts in a

407
00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:29,840
Speaker 1: different way, so you can think, oh, no, one here's

408
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:32,320
Speaker 1: actually staring at me, laughing at me. I can't find

409
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,680
Speaker 1: and you could do it all mentally, which can work sometimes,

410
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,080
Speaker 1: but it's never as powerful as when you write it down,

411
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Speaker 1: because it gives your body the feeling, gives your brain

412
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Speaker 1: the feeling of oh, I've tested this, it's not real.

413
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Speaker 1: I can let it go. Yes, and that's really really important.

414
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Speaker 1: It writes it off as a thought of I don't

415
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Speaker 1: really need to pay too much attention to that, Like

416
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Speaker 1: it feels really real that everyone's staring at me and

417
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:57,360
Speaker 1: thinks of an asshole, but it's not exactly real. I'll

418
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Speaker 1: let that go there.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I find it really helpful. I'm feeling triggered, I

420
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,600
Speaker 2: will pull out my journal, journal, everything out, and it

421
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:05,560
Speaker 2: instantly makes me feel better because by the end of it,

422
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Speaker 2: I've managed to find another perspective.

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Speaker 1: It's super important. But when we're in those moments, our

424
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:14,840
Speaker 1: brains possibility matrix just shrinks right down and we've got

425
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Speaker 1: spiral and one of two things, which one of them

426
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Speaker 1: is fighting, and well, anyone's running away, and that's you know,

427
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Speaker 1: it's all versions of that. When we become parents. I

428
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:28,640
Speaker 1: became a step parent first and then became a parent.

429
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Speaker 1: I do both step parentings way harder. I'll tell you

430
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Speaker 1: that you suddenly realize you've got this opportunity to make

431
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Speaker 1: a choice. You could either just do what you know,

432
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Speaker 1: but then you think about I hang on, what did

433
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Speaker 1: I know? And where did I end up? Okay, I

434
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:45,120
Speaker 1: only learn how to do this from the two people

435
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:46,720
Speaker 1: that did it to me or one person that did

436
00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:49,960
Speaker 1: it to me? And how did that work out? I

437
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,680
Speaker 1: might want to do something else. I've got no idea

438
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:53,320
Speaker 1: what else to do?

439
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:53,720
Speaker 2: Now?

440
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:57,760
Speaker 1: Okay, I better figure this out. Was that when you

441
00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:00,720
Speaker 1: became a mom and then you know twice more? Was

442
00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:02,199
Speaker 1: that a thing that you thought about or is it

443
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:02,960
Speaker 1: something that you came.

444
00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:05,680
Speaker 2: To or definitely yeah, like I knew I didn't want

445
00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:07,280
Speaker 2: to be I didn't really want it, Like I love

446
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:09,119
Speaker 2: love my parents, but I didn't want a parent like

447
00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:11,240
Speaker 2: them at all, and I wanted to give my kids

448
00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:13,800
Speaker 2: a better life than what I had. But I also

449
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:17,880
Speaker 2: ended up kind of like they've Definitely, there's definitely an improvement,

450
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,600
Speaker 2: but I also kind of ended up by a or

451
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:22,320
Speaker 2: not an accent, I don't know. I kind of did

452
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:25,200
Speaker 2: a copy paste. I ended up living very similar lifestyle

453
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:27,800
Speaker 2: to my parents without all the drugs, so I didn't, like,

454
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:30,399
Speaker 2: I haven't been a drug addict as an as a parent,

455
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:34,480
Speaker 2: I definitely had my moments before children, but my kids

456
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:36,119
Speaker 2: have never had to see me be drunk or on

457
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:39,600
Speaker 2: drugs or anything like that. And so they've definitely got

458
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:43,840
Speaker 2: a much safer, more wholesome environment than what I had.

459
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:49,119
Speaker 2: But they've still got a different life, but better. And

460
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,919
Speaker 2: I know I'm a very different parent to what my

461
00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:55,199
Speaker 2: what my parents were, And it's not easy either, Like

462
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:57,119
Speaker 2: sometimes I feel like it doesn't come naturally to me,

463
00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:58,600
Speaker 2: but I just know that this is what they need.

464
00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:01,280
Speaker 1: Doesn't come naturally to any boys. And anyone that says

465
00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:04,800
Speaker 1: that to you is lying over a lovely acoustic guitar

466
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:08,320
Speaker 1: track while they were shirt in a highly edited real

467
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:12,359
Speaker 1: It's not true, right. We all the way that we

468
00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:14,199
Speaker 1: were raised from one hundreds and thousand years ago, we

469
00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:17,600
Speaker 1: learned by watching, all right, So none of us figure

470
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:20,240
Speaker 1: it out, none of us intuitively are. We have to

471
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:22,399
Speaker 1: see how others do it. That's how people, you know,

472
00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:25,119
Speaker 1: And these like horrific child cases where he's like a

473
00:21:25,119 --> 00:21:27,879
Speaker 1: twelve year old who can't speak, wearing nappies, you know,

474
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:31,720
Speaker 1: because one of the parents is very unwell and they're

475
00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:36,120
Speaker 1: a nine month old cognitively, but they're giant because like, no,

476
00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:38,240
Speaker 1: if they intuitively knew, they wouldn't just feed at Coca

477
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:41,000
Speaker 1: Cola all day. It's terrible. That's how you end up

478
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:44,439
Speaker 1: in these situations. It's fucking horrible. What's going on in

479
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:47,200
Speaker 1: your life that? I mean, I'm sure you have an

480
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:50,719
Speaker 1: idea of what you know, gone to a Catholic school,

481
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:53,719
Speaker 1: a private school that you know, there's us and then

482
00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:56,920
Speaker 1: there's the outlook biker people and they're different people.

483
00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:59,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, well they weren't. So my dad looks like a biker,

484
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:02,000
Speaker 2: but he wasn't. Like well, actually there was there was

485
00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:05,040
Speaker 2: one short period where he was in a Christian biker

486
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:09,399
Speaker 2: group called the God Squad. So we used to go

487
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:12,359
Speaker 2: to this church where everyone rocked up on bikes and

488
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,639
Speaker 2: it was actually.

489
00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:16,879
Speaker 1: Whatever works, man, if it's just this men getting a

490
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:19,280
Speaker 1: chance to talk to each other and connecting for it.

491
00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:21,879
Speaker 2: Our house ended up becoming like a halfway house for like,

492
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:26,560
Speaker 2: because a biker club attracts problematic, well people who are

493
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:28,359
Speaker 2: dealing with issues, so there's a lot of drug.

494
00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:30,200
Speaker 1: Else to go.

495
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:32,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, So what was funny was that my dad was

496
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:33,640
Speaker 2: a drug dealer, but he was also taking in drug

497
00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:34,760
Speaker 2: addicts and giving them a home.

498
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:39,960
Speaker 1: That's classic, it's brilliant. No no, no, I'm not going to

499
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:41,760
Speaker 1: sell to you because you're in trouble. This is just

500
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:45,840
Speaker 1: to keep the lights on. Just a quick break from

501
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:50,600
Speaker 1: Nicki Justice to tell you that this Sunday Night in Sydney.

502
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:53,880
Speaker 1: Story Club makes its first show return for twenty twenty six.

503
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:59,760
Speaker 1: Brilliant lineup, Duncan Fellows, Ruby T's Alex Lee, Mike Bauers,

504
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:03,160
Speaker 1: the journalist, Zoe Notton Lodge and myself Factory Theater. We'd

505
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:05,200
Speaker 1: love to see you there. There's a few tickets left,

506
00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:08,920
Speaker 1: get around it. It's a night of true storytelling. It's hilarious,

507
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:11,919
Speaker 1: it's cringe worthy, and it's a night where you can

508
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,160
Speaker 1: sit together with other human beings and not sit at home,

509
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:17,600
Speaker 1: you know, fingering your phone and actually hear true tales

510
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:20,280
Speaker 1: of real Australian people doing real Austrailing things, rather than

511
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:23,000
Speaker 1: sitting at home watching it, you know, an American show

512
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:26,880
Speaker 1: about it something. Tickets through the show notes. We're back

513
00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:32,680
Speaker 1: with Nikki in a moment. So how were your kids

514
00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:36,399
Speaker 1: when they realized that kind of mum's background and mum's

515
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:37,640
Speaker 1: jobs a little different from the.

516
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:40,280
Speaker 2: Other cold well, because I so by the time I

517
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:42,760
Speaker 2: had kids, I wasn't doing that anymore. So they didn't

518
00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:45,760
Speaker 2: know until so I went back to stripping when we

519
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:48,679
Speaker 2: broke up. So twenty twenty COVID here, me and my

520
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:52,239
Speaker 2: ex husband broke up and within a few months I

521
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:55,120
Speaker 2: started stripping and I had to tell my oldest son

522
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:58,320
Speaker 2: because someone else told him and gave him a very

523
00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:01,440
Speaker 2: negative view on it. So I had to have a

524
00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:03,480
Speaker 2: chat with him and we've so ever since then, we've

525
00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:06,560
Speaker 2: just been I've been really open with him about everything.

526
00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:09,480
Speaker 2: And he's got his like he's smarter than all of us.

527
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:12,000
Speaker 2: He's like he's got he's so wise beyond his years.

528
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:15,720
Speaker 2: And yeah, he's we've got a really good relationship and

529
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:20,160
Speaker 2: he yeah, he literally says, he's like, well, I won't

530
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:22,119
Speaker 2: put my moral values on you, mum, I'm not going

531
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:25,240
Speaker 2: to judge you for it. Uh, And because he it's

532
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:29,760
Speaker 2: not like he would do. But he also understands the

533
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:33,000
Speaker 2: he understands that it makes good money, and he's like,

534
00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:35,600
Speaker 2: so basically, men just pay because they're simps. That's a

535
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:38,400
Speaker 2: like a young person's word for you know, simp.

536
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:41,120
Speaker 1: I had to have it explained to me the other day.

537
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:43,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like the men who like fawn over women.

538
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:48,600
Speaker 1: Anyway, it's a particularly lowly kind of that was.

539
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:50,440
Speaker 2: That was, yeah, that was and that was his word

540
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:51,880
Speaker 2: for it. And I was like, yeah, pretty much.

541
00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:56,040
Speaker 1: And he's like, okay, cool, Now I wouldn't. I wouldn't

542
00:24:56,119 --> 00:24:57,960
Speaker 1: if you're not comfortable, it's fine, and I certainly wouldn't

543
00:24:57,960 --> 00:24:59,159
Speaker 1: want you to go over Bata. But what does that

544
00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:00,399
Speaker 1: conversation sound like?

545
00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:02,639
Speaker 2: Well I had to have it again recently because I

546
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:06,120
Speaker 2: had to let him know that now mums are only fans.

547
00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:08,160
Speaker 1: So, but what does that sound like? What is what's

548
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:08,919
Speaker 1: the you know?

549
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:11,640
Speaker 2: It was literally knock knock, knock on his door when

550
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:13,920
Speaker 2: I need to have a chat with you. And then

551
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:15,879
Speaker 2: I was like, I want to let you know this

552
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:19,280
Speaker 2: because you might find out some other way. And I said,

553
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:21,160
Speaker 2: do you know only fans in and he's straight away

554
00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:24,040
Speaker 2: he's like yes, And I think I don't know if

555
00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:25,720
Speaker 2: he thought I was about to accuse he was something

556
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:29,440
Speaker 2: or whatever. And then I was like, well, mum's on there,

557
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:33,760
Speaker 2: and I sort of explained, you know, sort of because

558
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:36,960
Speaker 2: I'm not doing like full porn or anything. I would

559
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:39,560
Speaker 2: say it's more tasteful. Not that I'm not judging the

560
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:41,879
Speaker 2: people that do that either, but anyway, so I just

561
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:44,159
Speaker 2: kind of explained to him, and he already knew that

562
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:46,119
Speaker 2: I was a stripper before people who have already people

563
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:47,760
Speaker 2: used to walk around and see my naked body. Now

564
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:50,920
Speaker 2: they're just seeing it on this platform. And this is

565
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:52,720
Speaker 2: why I can buy you a guitar right now for

566
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:58,120
Speaker 2: your birthday. And yeah, again, he was just really mature

567
00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:00,600
Speaker 2: about it, and you know, I gave him that heads

568
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:02,600
Speaker 2: up just so that he doesn't have to And we

569
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:05,639
Speaker 2: also talked about what he might say or how we

570
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:08,320
Speaker 2: could handle it if someone came to him and was like, oh,

571
00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:10,159
Speaker 2: yr mum, and we're just going to make jokes about it,

572
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:10,960
Speaker 2: and we're fine.

573
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:14,040
Speaker 1: So when you when you're in these industries, in the

574
00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:16,960
Speaker 1: adult kind of industry, and you know, as you mentioned,

575
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,479
Speaker 1: there's two sides to it. There's the providers and then

576
00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:23,359
Speaker 1: there's the consumers, which people often forget about. Yeah, like

577
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:27,320
Speaker 1: you know, cigarettes or fossil fuel. It's like, yeah, blame

578
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:31,000
Speaker 1: one side and all the other. What is it as

579
00:26:31,119 --> 00:26:34,040
Speaker 1: a mother of you know, a young man, what is

580
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:38,360
Speaker 1: it that you have learned about men that you kind

581
00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:40,399
Speaker 1: of what lessons are you trying to instill in your

582
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:43,040
Speaker 1: son about the way he views women and treats women.

583
00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:47,840
Speaker 2: I just like, we have such a good relationship, so

584
00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:49,480
Speaker 2: you know, there's a lot of love, there's a lot

585
00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:51,840
Speaker 2: of respect, and we talk all the time. We communicate

586
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:55,359
Speaker 2: really well, and I feel like that's that's the like

587
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:56,920
Speaker 2: the main I want to if we have a really

588
00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:59,000
Speaker 2: good relationship, I feel like that will give him a

589
00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:02,600
Speaker 2: good relationship with other women. And because I don't know,

590
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:04,560
Speaker 2: I don't know the answers to everything, but I just

591
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:08,800
Speaker 2: focus on my relationships with each individual child and that's

592
00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:09,440
Speaker 2: the main thing.

593
00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:14,680
Speaker 1: When no, no, no, that's that's that's fine. But what about

594
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 1: when because he's old enough to you know, hormones get

595
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:20,959
Speaker 1: involved and like I said, before you get to your

596
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:22,600
Speaker 1: brain don't work properly and you start.

597
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:24,600
Speaker 2: To get I've had chats with him about like, pawn's

598
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:27,760
Speaker 2: not real and don't do not look at that and

599
00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:29,040
Speaker 2: think that, like because I was like, I don't know

600
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:30,679
Speaker 2: if you've looked at it yet, but if you do, like,

601
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:32,159
Speaker 2: don't I don't want you to think that that's what

602
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:34,320
Speaker 2: you meant. That's how you meant to do it, So

603
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:35,720
Speaker 2: I have had those kind of chats.

604
00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:40,840
Speaker 1: Is it's vitally important when you're in what do you

605
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:45,840
Speaker 1: wish more men knew about the way what the way

606
00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:49,359
Speaker 1: they behave looks like when they're in those adult environments,

607
00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:52,600
Speaker 1: because I'll tell you in my experience of it, And

608
00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:53,760
Speaker 1: bear in mind, I haven't been in one of these

609
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:57,280
Speaker 1: joints since far around Man two thousand and six. I

610
00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:59,480
Speaker 1: think I was. I think I was in Las Vegas

611
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:00,920
Speaker 1: with mycause I think it was the last time I

612
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:04,560
Speaker 1: was in his joy Like that, it's almost like everyone's

613
00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:08,720
Speaker 1: playing we're all part of a big game of pretend,

614
00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:11,680
Speaker 1: and we're all trying to be in a Puff Daddy video.

615
00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:14,720
Speaker 1: And I say that knowing you know we're all. You know,

616
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:18,080
Speaker 1: we're all. I'm playing the role of the person who's

617
00:28:18,119 --> 00:28:21,159
Speaker 1: throwing dollar bills on stage. You're playing the role of

618
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:24,639
Speaker 1: the girl and the hype Williams you know, you know,

619
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:27,080
Speaker 1: or the buster rhymes for you or whatever. And here

620
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:29,120
Speaker 1: we are, we're doing the thing. We're doing the thing.

621
00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:32,840
Speaker 1: Somewhere there may be arousal who knows, but this is

622
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:35,000
Speaker 1: what it is, and therefore I'm doing it, and therefore

623
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:38,560
Speaker 1: ripper and some of the behaviors that I saw and

624
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:40,040
Speaker 1: the other men in the room around me was.

625
00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:45,160
Speaker 2: Like, come on, man, yeah, maybe that maybe that's what

626
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:47,920
Speaker 2: it is is understanding that it is. It is a job,

627
00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:50,200
Speaker 2: and I think a lot of people will forget that

628
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:51,440
Speaker 2: it is a job and then they think that there's

629
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:54,200
Speaker 2: actually something between you and like, no, absolutely not. There's

630
00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:57,160
Speaker 2: a job. You're paying me for a reason. The stripper

631
00:28:57,160 --> 00:28:57,880
Speaker 2: does not love you.

632
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:00,280
Speaker 1: I don't know if you read the Jenne Jamison, it

633
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:02,240
Speaker 1: was I'm here to believe. I'm here to make you

634
00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:04,680
Speaker 1: believe there's something between us until you pay for the

635
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:06,520
Speaker 1: private and then yeah.

636
00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:08,360
Speaker 2: But that's the thing. It's like it's a performance and

637
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:10,760
Speaker 2: it's a fantasy. But it's like some I think there

638
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:13,280
Speaker 2: are some people who do start to think it's real.

639
00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:19,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, what's harder to do. What's what's harder? Stripping or

640
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:20,480
Speaker 1: stand up? Stand ups?

641
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:24,480
Speaker 2: Way harder, way harder. I never had to walk out

642
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:26,800
Speaker 2: like into a room naked, going, oh, I hope they

643
00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:32,320
Speaker 2: like me, like they I've already got them, They're on

644
00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:36,760
Speaker 2: my side, it's fine. Whereas when you walk out on stage,

645
00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:39,160
Speaker 2: you're like, I've got to convince these people that I'm funny.

646
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:41,360
Speaker 2: They need to like me to be able to think that,

647
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:44,560
Speaker 2: and you've got to get their trust, and that's that's

648
00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:46,880
Speaker 2: really hard, especially for me with all these internal like

649
00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:49,120
Speaker 2: everyone hates me beliefs that I've had been working on

650
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:49,600
Speaker 2: my whole life.

651
00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:50,240
Speaker 1: So this is what I mean.

652
00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:52,360
Speaker 2: Comedy has actually been really good for me, Like it's

653
00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:55,680
Speaker 2: it's healing me on so many levels.

654
00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:57,959
Speaker 1: Hard. What I'm really love for you is when you

655
00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:01,760
Speaker 1: do your next one hour show. So as you said,

656
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 1: when I walk stripping.

657
00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:04,720
Speaker 2: So I'm actually combining the two.

658
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:07,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course I know you are. When I said,

659
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:09,920
Speaker 1: when I said, which one's hardes stripping? When to stand up?

660
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:12,240
Speaker 1: Anyone stand up? And my first thought was like, well,

661
00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:13,720
Speaker 1: of course the mic stand There's no way it's going

662
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:17,680
Speaker 1: to support you. Look at and I thought, You've got

663
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:19,280
Speaker 1: to make a mic stand out of a pole. You

664
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:22,200
Speaker 1: have to, Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely have to.

665
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:24,480
Speaker 2: Well, so my next show that I'm working on now,

666
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:27,920
Speaker 2: I am going to be talking about the adult industry

667
00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:30,960
Speaker 2: and why you know, because I didn't plan any of this.

668
00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:32,480
Speaker 2: I had to break up a couple of months ago,

669
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:34,680
Speaker 2: and then that sort of snowballed into this all these

670
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:36,760
Speaker 2: new ideas and the show, and I've you know, obviously

671
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:40,160
Speaker 2: ended up back in the adult industry without meaning to.

672
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:42,200
Speaker 2: And and now I'm not leaving because it's making me

673
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:43,840
Speaker 2: good money and I need it at the moment while

674
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 2: so I can actually focus on Yeah, so the only

675
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:48,520
Speaker 2: fans is giving me a breathing space to figure out

676
00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:52,440
Speaker 2: what next, so I can still make money from comedy

677
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:55,400
Speaker 2: without being away every week, which is exhausting as well.

678
00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:59,960
Speaker 1: So what's going on for you that you're willingly going

679
00:30:59,960 --> 00:31:02,320
Speaker 1: to do this thing that is so scary to go

680
00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:06,880
Speaker 1: out on stage and ask people to laugh at you,

681
00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:08,800
Speaker 1: laugh at the jokes, share the point of view that

682
00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:13,200
Speaker 1: you've got to share. Why what was it that I

683
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:14,680
Speaker 1: have to do this? Because I can't not do anything.

684
00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:18,080
Speaker 2: The first time I did it, I the like the

685
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:21,240
Speaker 2: rush and the exhilit like the exhilarating feeling of And

686
00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:23,800
Speaker 2: then my first time went really well. But to be fair,

687
00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:25,120
Speaker 2: so it was at the Comedy Lounge. It was great

688
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:28,560
Speaker 2: venue in Perth and my first open mic was there

689
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:31,360
Speaker 2: and there was at least twenty people that knew me

690
00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:33,239
Speaker 2: had come to like, what that is Nikki doing now?

691
00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:34,840
Speaker 2: Because I put it all over my stories and stuff

692
00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:36,360
Speaker 2: and a whole bunch of people that I knew came

693
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:38,560
Speaker 2: to watch, so I had a very supportive crowd. But

694
00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:42,720
Speaker 2: that first night, and I've always loved performing, even stripping

695
00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:44,960
Speaker 2: to me was sometimes felt like, you know, I liked,

696
00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:47,520
Speaker 2: I liked the liked the attention I liked, and I

697
00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:50,440
Speaker 2: just because I also before, before I found comedy, I

698
00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:52,680
Speaker 2: just as I started trying to learn, but less I

699
00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:54,720
Speaker 2: actually can't. I cannot dance, So that was like not

700
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:55,240
Speaker 2: going to happen.

701
00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:57,360
Speaker 1: But that makes two of us. So I've a vert

702
00:31:57,440 --> 00:31:59,040
Speaker 1: of changing with the stars, and that was very hard

703
00:31:59,040 --> 00:31:59,240
Speaker 1: to do.

704
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I've always think I've been drawn to wanting

705
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:04,840
Speaker 2: to perform. And like when I was a kid, I

706
00:32:04,880 --> 00:32:09,000
Speaker 2: remember going for this. I was sixteen or fifteen. I

707
00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:10,560
Speaker 2: think I was fifteen, and I was not living with

708
00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:12,560
Speaker 2: my parents because they lived in Queensland, and so I

709
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:13,840
Speaker 2: had to go to Centralink and I had to like

710
00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:15,600
Speaker 2: fill out these forms to say why can't you live

711
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:19,040
Speaker 2: with your parents? And back then they like had all

712
00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:22,360
Speaker 2: these avenues for like youth that were living at a home.

713
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:24,360
Speaker 2: So they gave me these like job people that are

714
00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:25,680
Speaker 2: going to help me get jobs. So I go to

715
00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:28,240
Speaker 2: this like job interview place and they're like, okay, Nikki,

716
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:29,400
Speaker 2: so what do you want to do? And I said

717
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:31,040
Speaker 2: it so straight faced. I was like, I want to

718
00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:32,080
Speaker 2: be sing it. I don't want to be on home

719
00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 2: and away and that was my answer. And they were

720
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:36,280
Speaker 2: just like there to help me get a check out

721
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:39,840
Speaker 2: chitch job, that's good start. And I was just like

722
00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:41,360
Speaker 2: I had ad as meant it. I was like, that's

723
00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:43,360
Speaker 2: just what I wanted to do. And they, bless them,

724
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:45,720
Speaker 2: they literally they paid for me to do singing and

725
00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:47,240
Speaker 2: acting lessons.

726
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:51,560
Speaker 1: Fantastic, so lovely, God's was at work. I'm happy about that.

727
00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:54,480
Speaker 1: I'm really happy about that. I'm so happy about that.

728
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:55,680
Speaker 1: But because they didn't tell you to take.

729
00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:57,280
Speaker 2: Away, I don't think they would do that these days.

730
00:32:57,560 --> 00:32:59,800
Speaker 2: Back then. I also don't know if any other kids

731
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:01,480
Speaker 2: had said that to them before, and maybe they were

732
00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:02,920
Speaker 2: just like flawed.

733
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:05,680
Speaker 1: But think of it from their perspective. All Right, he's

734
00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:09,080
Speaker 1: a kid living out of home, three five thousand kilometers

735
00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:12,200
Speaker 1: from their parents. If we say no to them, this

736
00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:15,040
Speaker 1: is a chance we'll never see them again. Let's give

737
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:17,800
Speaker 1: them this thing. That way we can, they'll come back

738
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:21,880
Speaker 1: and we'll keep taps on there. Because beautiful fifteen year

739
00:33:21,920 --> 00:33:25,520
Speaker 1: old girls far away from their parents can vanish, and

740
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:28,360
Speaker 1: that would have been terrifying for them. So I'm freaking

741
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:32,920
Speaker 1: glad they did. Yeah, what do you think that to

742
00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:35,400
Speaker 1: hear that you were by yourself fifteen? And I remember

743
00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:37,600
Speaker 1: when my eldest was fifteen, it was like, Jesus Christ,

744
00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:40,120
Speaker 1: what do you want people? What do you want more

745
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:42,800
Speaker 1: people to know about why a fifteen year old might

746
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:45,880
Speaker 1: be not living with their parents, what might be going

747
00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:47,200
Speaker 1: on for them?

748
00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:48,720
Speaker 2: Well, at the time, so me and my parents we

749
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:50,680
Speaker 2: just weren't. We weren't getting along very well. That was

750
00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:53,000
Speaker 2: at a period of their lives. So it was in

751
00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:55,680
Speaker 2: my teen years that their drug use got bad for

752
00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:57,960
Speaker 2: a while. So they were always like, you know, in

753
00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,080
Speaker 2: and out of it. But then there was a few

754
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:01,720
Speaker 2: years there where things got quite bad. And so when

755
00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:03,600
Speaker 2: I became a teenager, that's like it was probably happening

756
00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:05,400
Speaker 2: before I was a teenager, but I didn't know, and

757
00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:07,040
Speaker 2: that was just like it was all normal. Whereas when

758
00:34:07,080 --> 00:34:09,440
Speaker 2: I became a teenager and I realized, oh, this is why,

759
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:11,799
Speaker 2: and so I was quite angry at them. So we

760
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:14,359
Speaker 2: didn't have a great relationship. We were quite butting heads.

761
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:19,000
Speaker 2: Quite a lot. And then so there were uh they yeah,

762
00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:21,720
Speaker 2: they used to be, but then so by the time

763
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:24,360
Speaker 2: I stopped living with them, so it's a little bit complicated.

764
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:27,359
Speaker 2: So we actually so we joined a circus. We joined

765
00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:30,280
Speaker 2: a circus, and your younger brother yeah, and your dad, yes,

766
00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:32,839
Speaker 2: and my dad and brother. So my dad joined first,

767
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:35,120
Speaker 2: then my brother and then me and my mom were visiting,

768
00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:39,360
Speaker 2: and then we all joined. And then when we were

769
00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:42,040
Speaker 2: with the circus, so it was already a little bit

770
00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:43,799
Speaker 2: still a bit volatile there, Like I was alright with

771
00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:45,640
Speaker 2: my dad, but me and my mum didn't. We clashed,

772
00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:48,480
Speaker 2: and then they ended up leaving the circus.

773
00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:50,600
Speaker 1: Four people on drugs in the caravan traveling around the country.

774
00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:51,239
Speaker 2: I don't know why.

775
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:54,320
Speaker 1: Well place it always was like shit and popular.

776
00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:56,360
Speaker 2: I think being in the circus sort of took them

777
00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:58,759
Speaker 2: away from the drug environment that they were in as well.

778
00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:01,359
Speaker 1: So the but then you're into all that carnee speed

779
00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:05,279
Speaker 1: and that is fucking wild. Those guys. I just we're

780
00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:07,080
Speaker 1: just going to drive from here to Rockhampton.

781
00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:11,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then yeah, yeah, but it could.

782
00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:13,480
Speaker 1: Be nally, So tell me what I was asking about.

783
00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:16,440
Speaker 2: Well, they left, so that's when I first was by myself,

784
00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:17,520
Speaker 2: so i'd actually just turned sere.

785
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:18,880
Speaker 1: How did you know I have a boundary? How did

786
00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:20,680
Speaker 1: you know that I'm worth more than this? I don't

787
00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:21,319
Speaker 1: have to be with them?

788
00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:23,920
Speaker 2: Well, I just turned sixteen, and I knew that. I

789
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:26,160
Speaker 2: just knew that you're allowed to legally, you're allowed to

790
00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:28,120
Speaker 2: leave home at sixteen. So I had just turned sixteen,

791
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:31,799
Speaker 2: not fifteen. Sorry, And they they left the circus. It

792
00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:33,960
Speaker 2: was quite dramatic because my mum got into a bunch

793
00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:36,880
Speaker 2: up with one of the boss's daughters and then so

794
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:38,960
Speaker 2: they were all leaving the family like abruptly, was like

795
00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:41,759
Speaker 2: where off? And I had just turned sixteen, wasn't getting

796
00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:44,520
Speaker 2: along with them? And I was like, I'm staying. And

797
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:46,959
Speaker 2: I'd spoken to the circus family and they were happy

798
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:49,040
Speaker 2: for me to stay for a while. But then once

799
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:51,600
Speaker 2: I stayed by myself, I ended up. I struggled on

800
00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:53,839
Speaker 2: my own, so I ended up moving back to Perth

801
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:56,040
Speaker 2: and me and my sister ended up living together.

802
00:35:56,400 --> 00:36:00,160
Speaker 1: Right, So what is what do you want people to know? Oh,

803
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:04,120
Speaker 1: I guess about a teenager who is not living with

804
00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:06,359
Speaker 1: their parents because we might have some judgment on them,

805
00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:08,880
Speaker 1: or you know, people who are in that sort of situation.

806
00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:11,480
Speaker 2: Well, I think so when I was sixteen, I think

807
00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:13,160
Speaker 2: now that I've got a fifteen year old, I'm like,

808
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:16,080
Speaker 2: oh my god, he is so young. And you don't

809
00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:18,359
Speaker 2: but when you're sixteen, you don't see yourself. I didn't

810
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:19,439
Speaker 2: see myself as a child.

811
00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:20,759
Speaker 1: My dad, don't, thank you very much.

812
00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:23,000
Speaker 2: I definitely saw myself more as a young adult. And

813
00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:25,319
Speaker 2: men had been telling me for years how mature I was.

814
00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:27,480
Speaker 1: That's called grooming.

815
00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:32,600
Speaker 2: I know now, I know now, I know now, But

816
00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:34,719
Speaker 2: when you've been fed that for your teen years, you

817
00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:37,120
Speaker 2: think that you are and so I did. I thought

818
00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:39,040
Speaker 2: that I was mature enough as all I.

819
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:40,799
Speaker 1: Can really connect with you in a way that I

820
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:42,480
Speaker 1: can't literally literally.

821
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:44,200
Speaker 2: So I literally moved back to Perth and I ended

822
00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:46,640
Speaker 2: up getting a job at a supermarket. So I was sixteen,

823
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:48,720
Speaker 2: and I had like these thirty year old co workers

824
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:51,600
Speaker 2: telling me like how mature I was and trying to

825
00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:53,920
Speaker 2: hit on me and hooking like would puk up because

826
00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:55,840
Speaker 2: like we'd like after work drinks and parties and they

827
00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:59,520
Speaker 2: give me drugs and then and then yeah, looking back,

828
00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:02,040
Speaker 2: yeah hiling the fruit and vege section. You were thirty two.

829
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:06,840
Speaker 1: That doesn't doesn't get the hearty age clubs seven at all, Kyle,

830
00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:10,640
Speaker 1: come on, man, and plus you work in fruit and veg.

831
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:13,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know that's more shame on me at least,

832
00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:17,680
Speaker 2: but there's knife skills at least there at least there's.

833
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:20,319
Speaker 1: Like there's a trade, there's a trade, there's there's some

834
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:25,360
Speaker 1: sort of ticket, there's a tafe course, just pointing the

835
00:37:25,520 --> 00:37:26,799
Speaker 1: good bit of the apple this way.

836
00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:30,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, Kyle, Yeah, that.

837
00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:32,600
Speaker 1: Is real name a funck al right now, were going

838
00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:35,799
Speaker 1: to change all leave it in, leave it in. Oh,

839
00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:39,080
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Kyle, I don't know you. I guess I

840
00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:41,680
Speaker 1: guess where I'm going with this is that there's so

841
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:44,920
Speaker 1: much being, so much noise being made about youth crime

842
00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:47,640
Speaker 1: and you know, da da da da, but people often

843
00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:51,319
Speaker 1: don't think that those kids who are in those situations, yeah,

844
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:52,279
Speaker 1: are making desperate choice.

845
00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:55,319
Speaker 2: I thought about this recently because there's a you know,

846
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:58,479
Speaker 2: the age of children in Australia can go to prison

847
00:37:58,560 --> 00:37:59,080
Speaker 2: at the age of.

848
00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:00,800
Speaker 1: Ten criminal your criminality.

849
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:04,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I have a nine year old. I have

850
00:38:04,239 --> 00:38:06,040
Speaker 2: a nine year old, he'll be ten in a few months,

851
00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:07,879
Speaker 2: and I'm like, look at him, and I'm like that

852
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:11,120
Speaker 2: just breaks my heart that there's kids his age in prisons,

853
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:15,160
Speaker 2: and I think, yeah, like youth crimes, it sucks, But

854
00:38:15,239 --> 00:38:17,880
Speaker 2: also why are they like that? So kids that are

855
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:19,719
Speaker 2: out there doing those things that are ending up in jail,

856
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:23,160
Speaker 2: you can guarantee they haven't got nice, good stable families

857
00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:26,319
Speaker 2: and they didn't choose that. And so yeah, I do

858
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:28,479
Speaker 2: think we need there's other ways, and there are other ways.

859
00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:31,799
Speaker 2: So I literally signed up to this amnesty thing where

860
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:34,760
Speaker 2: I donate like extra amount a month for this exact cause.

861
00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:37,840
Speaker 2: And they were saying, how there's evidence, there's scientific evidence,

862
00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:40,080
Speaker 2: there's research that shows there are better ways to deal

863
00:38:40,120 --> 00:38:42,359
Speaker 2: with youth crime than putting them in jail. And because

864
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:43,680
Speaker 2: when you put them in jail, it just starts this

865
00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:45,239
Speaker 2: vicious cycle where they're not going to get out of

866
00:38:45,239 --> 00:38:45,680
Speaker 2: the system.

867
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:49,920
Speaker 1: Oh, you can't arrest your way out of No, And.

868
00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:52,399
Speaker 2: There's other interventions that they can do that have been

869
00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:54,920
Speaker 2: proven to be successful in other countries. And they're like,

870
00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:55,640
Speaker 2: why aren't we doing this?

871
00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:58,960
Speaker 1: And if you and I ran a system with the

872
00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:03,240
Speaker 1: result alts that are as terrible as the Australian prison system,

873
00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:05,560
Speaker 1: we would not get the contract for the next year.

874
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:11,400
Speaker 1: But apparently above eighty percent is fine as fine, you

875
00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:12,080
Speaker 1: guys keep.

876
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:12,680
Speaker 2: Have all the money.

877
00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:16,280
Speaker 1: It's great getting back in what rehabilitation like the system

878
00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:19,000
Speaker 1: doesn't do the job it's there to do, but it's

879
00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:20,000
Speaker 1: so much harder.

880
00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:22,120
Speaker 2: I think that'd be instead of putting all that money

881
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:23,920
Speaker 2: into prisons, they didn't put all that money into therapy.

882
00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:27,439
Speaker 1: Well, and understanding that's a familiar and some start. Let's

883
00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:29,080
Speaker 1: be honest, there are some parts in Australia that are

884
00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:32,160
Speaker 1: understanding that it's a family systems issue and that if

885
00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:34,359
Speaker 1: the kid kind of comes in contact with the law,

886
00:39:34,680 --> 00:39:38,040
Speaker 1: then the next step is the family gets looked at

887
00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:40,640
Speaker 1: and there's some sort of way to try to pull

888
00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:45,279
Speaker 1: that stability around that home a little more together so

889
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:48,040
Speaker 1: that those desperate things don't start becoming a great idea

890
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:50,759
Speaker 1: for a nine or ten year old, which could, as

891
00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:53,719
Speaker 1: you mentioned, could change their life. And again it's not

892
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:56,600
Speaker 1: it's not what they're there for, but it's so much

893
00:39:56,680 --> 00:39:58,960
Speaker 1: just like the same reason that we will will rescue

894
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:01,879
Speaker 1: a staff that someone doesn't want rather than give money

895
00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:04,839
Speaker 1: to a homeless person, because it's easy to connect with that.

896
00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:07,439
Speaker 1: It's easier to lock up a child who's broken into

897
00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:10,480
Speaker 1: a commodore than it is to understand Oh, they come

898
00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:12,239
Speaker 1: from a part of the city that we've neglected for

899
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:15,319
Speaker 1: the last forty years, and the job prospects for them,

900
00:40:15,440 --> 00:40:16,600
Speaker 1: their dad and their granddad.

901
00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:19,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and they've got all kinds of the trauma.

902
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,919
Speaker 1: I only hope they see life the way they see

903
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:25,799
Speaker 1: of the only see the way they see stability and

904
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:30,680
Speaker 1: surety and belonging is through that pathway. Oh, that's a

905
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:33,359
Speaker 1: much harder thing to deal with. Let's just lock them up.

906
00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:37,480
Speaker 1: That's the trick, though, I mean, where do you start.

907
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:39,759
Speaker 1: You start by trying to change people's minds about what's

908
00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:41,520
Speaker 1: going on and the work you're doing with your comedy.

909
00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:44,680
Speaker 1: I think probably a start with that to change the way,

910
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:48,560
Speaker 1: you know, people think about the element that the people

911
00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:51,000
Speaker 1: in our society, and like you mentioned, like there's I

912
00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:53,799
Speaker 1: live in a nice part of town. I'm lucky. There

913
00:40:53,880 --> 00:40:57,440
Speaker 1: are two within two kilometers in my house. There are

914
00:40:57,600 --> 00:41:04,799
Speaker 1: two separate, massive, large places, right and special ones. They're

915
00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:07,319
Speaker 1: open till eleven at night. Yeah, there's no windows on

916
00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:09,719
Speaker 1: the front and there's a red light.

917
00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:13,280
Speaker 2: And just in case people weren't sure.

918
00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:16,440
Speaker 1: I know how businesses operate, and I know how much

919
00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:18,879
Speaker 1: the rent is in my part of the city. Those

920
00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:21,759
Speaker 1: places aren't going to stay open if there isn't money

921
00:41:21,760 --> 00:41:25,960
Speaker 1: coming in the door and pun intended. So my neighbors

922
00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:29,320
Speaker 1: in my lovely part of the city are utilizing that service,

923
00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:34,320
Speaker 1: and we pretend it's not happening. It's ridiculous. We should like,

924
00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:36,359
Speaker 1: let's just understand that. No, it's a part of it.

925
00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:38,360
Speaker 1: And we're adults and adults to adult stuff.

926
00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:41,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's like like sex work has been around

927
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:43,680
Speaker 2: since the dawn of time, Like it's just it's always

928
00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:47,759
Speaker 2: been and there. I think it's really interesting how it's

929
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:51,040
Speaker 2: devalued in a moral sense, But why then is it

930
00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:54,759
Speaker 2: valued higher in a financial sense because you get paid

931
00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:57,520
Speaker 2: more in sex work. The alley rate for sex work

932
00:41:57,560 --> 00:41:59,840
Speaker 2: way higher than a woman working in construction.

933
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:02,400
Speaker 1: Talk to me about having hit me with your economic

934
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:03,000
Speaker 1: theory once again.

935
00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:07,120
Speaker 2: Please, sex workers are devalued in a moral sense by society,

936
00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:10,680
Speaker 2: but we're valued higher in a financial sense because we

937
00:42:10,719 --> 00:42:13,000
Speaker 2: get paid way more for that job, the job that

938
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:16,600
Speaker 2: we're devalued for in a like the way people perceive

939
00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:18,879
Speaker 2: it's as humans. Yeah, we get paid more for.

940
00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:22,160
Speaker 1: It, higher than someone who's uh, we.

941
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:24,279
Speaker 2: Like some sex work, like not all sex workers, but

942
00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:26,759
Speaker 2: some sex workers are getting fourteen hundred dollars an hour.

943
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:28,239
Speaker 2: That's like the top of the range, and then you've

944
00:42:28,239 --> 00:42:31,080
Speaker 2: got other even the lower range, like this seventy eighty

945
00:42:31,080 --> 00:42:33,359
Speaker 2: bucks an hour, whereas admin you're on twenty five bucks

946
00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:35,879
Speaker 2: an hour. Like So it's just interesting to me that

947
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:39,319
Speaker 2: you're valued more financially for it, but you're devalued on

948
00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:40,680
Speaker 2: a social level.

949
00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:45,600
Speaker 1: Are we paying to bridge the moral gap that we have?

950
00:42:45,920 --> 00:42:48,399
Speaker 2: I don't know, Like the demands there and the men

951
00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:53,040
Speaker 2: are paying the prices, it seems like I don't know

952
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:55,080
Speaker 2: the answers to that. I think it's interesting.

953
00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:57,239
Speaker 1: I think it's I think it's fascinat. I've never thought

954
00:42:57,280 --> 00:42:59,680
Speaker 1: about it like that, like if we really felt that

955
00:42:59,719 --> 00:43:04,040
Speaker 1: way about the it's always women. Yeah, well I'm not

956
00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:05,560
Speaker 1: going to pay like yeah.

957
00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:07,319
Speaker 2: That much, and I've felt like I have felt so

958
00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:08,440
Speaker 2: there are some like I'm not.

959
00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:08,680
Speaker 1: So.

960
00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:10,960
Speaker 2: Sometimes you do go to work, like in the adult

961
00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:12,759
Speaker 2: industry and you have a bad night, sometimes you have

962
00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:15,080
Speaker 2: to deal with someone who's not very nice or disrespects

963
00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:17,440
Speaker 2: to you or is it creep? But I've also had

964
00:43:17,480 --> 00:43:20,480
Speaker 2: that in normal jobs, so where I was earning a

965
00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:23,880
Speaker 2: lot less. Yeah, so that I don't feel like like

966
00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:26,759
Speaker 2: the yeah, like the times of having like where you

967
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:30,040
Speaker 2: feel shit and devalued and degraded. I've also experienced working

968
00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:30,680
Speaker 2: in construction.

969
00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:34,840
Speaker 1: Yeah right, I don't need I don't standing there in

970
00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:37,359
Speaker 1: aodon with you know, a tray of bees in front

971
00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:37,480
Speaker 1: of you.

972
00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:39,600
Speaker 2: My I used to be so I was a project

973
00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:42,319
Speaker 2: manager for this construction company, and I had a really

974
00:43:42,360 --> 00:43:44,360
Speaker 2: good job. So I was earning good money. I was

975
00:43:44,400 --> 00:43:46,640
Speaker 2: a project manager. I was, and so I would be

976
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:48,800
Speaker 2: on the same level of all these other department managers.

977
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:52,239
Speaker 2: But I was the only female manager in this group,

978
00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:54,239
Speaker 2: and they would treat me like absolute shit. And they

979
00:43:54,239 --> 00:43:56,319
Speaker 2: would even though we had we had receptionists, we had

980
00:43:56,360 --> 00:43:58,080
Speaker 2: adamin insistance, but they would be like, Nikki, can you

981
00:43:58,120 --> 00:43:59,520
Speaker 2: go get us a coffee? Nikki, can you go do

982
00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:00,840
Speaker 2: the printing. I was like, we were all on the

983
00:44:00,840 --> 00:44:05,319
Speaker 2: same level, but they would always make you feel less than.

984
00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:09,080
Speaker 2: And I'd rather feel less than where I'm getting paid

985
00:44:09,120 --> 00:44:09,600
Speaker 2: more for it.

986
00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:20,359
Speaker 1: What. Look, I'm just really interested in that the way

987
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:25,759
Speaker 1: that you you go through life. People would prop as

988
00:44:25,760 --> 00:44:29,359
Speaker 1: you mentioned earlier, people perhaps they do project their own

989
00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:34,120
Speaker 1: shame upon you as what She's a mother and she's

990
00:44:34,200 --> 00:44:36,640
Speaker 1: got an early fans and she takes a click. What

991
00:44:37,239 --> 00:44:40,640
Speaker 1: like just unable to be with? What have you learned

992
00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:44,719
Speaker 1: about the way you feel about yourself and how you I.

993
00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:47,240
Speaker 2: Think I've realized. So there was times where I have questioned,

994
00:44:47,239 --> 00:44:49,040
Speaker 2: like do I always go back to the adult industry

995
00:44:49,080 --> 00:44:50,960
Speaker 2: because of my trauma or do I actually like it?

996
00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:52,960
Speaker 2: And I think it's a bit of both, because like,

997
00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:55,680
Speaker 2: look at other art forms, so like there's men, there's

998
00:44:55,680 --> 00:44:58,760
Speaker 2: people that have done naked comedy shows, and I'm actually

999
00:44:58,760 --> 00:45:01,759
Speaker 2: doing a kind of naked comedy show for my next show.

1000
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:03,880
Speaker 2: It's got, there's there's there's things going on in it,

1001
00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:06,239
Speaker 2: but it's gonna be there's gonna be some newdity and

1002
00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:08,879
Speaker 2: but that's kind of that's socially acceptable. It's socially except

1003
00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:13,000
Speaker 2: because that's art. But then the other way is, yeah, anyway,

1004
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:16,759
Speaker 2: I think I'm actually quite comfortable with nudity. I think, yeah,

1005
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:18,520
Speaker 2: I think I do actually enjoy it. It's it is

1006
00:45:18,560 --> 00:45:21,040
Speaker 2: empowering for me. I make good money from it. I

1007
00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:22,920
Speaker 2: have to put less energy into it for what I

1008
00:45:22,960 --> 00:45:24,719
Speaker 2: get in return. Like I love comedy as well, and

1009
00:45:24,760 --> 00:45:26,160
Speaker 2: I'm not going to stop doing comedy, and that's what

1010
00:45:26,200 --> 00:45:28,560
Speaker 2: I'm focused on. But this also allows me to focus

1011
00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:30,879
Speaker 2: on comedy because comedy is not paying me the way

1012
00:45:30,880 --> 00:45:33,319
Speaker 2: that OnlyFans can. So I'm actually super grateful for it.

1013
00:45:33,560 --> 00:45:36,520
Speaker 1: What but what is it that you get from comedy?

1014
00:45:36,560 --> 00:45:38,480
Speaker 1: What is it the thing that makes you like I

1015
00:45:38,520 --> 00:45:41,080
Speaker 1: have to I have to talk about my experience of

1016
00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:42,200
Speaker 1: the world in this.

1017
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:44,279
Speaker 2: Pert I think there are some people that just once

1018
00:45:44,320 --> 00:45:46,480
Speaker 2: you do it and you fall in love with it

1019
00:45:46,560 --> 00:45:48,160
Speaker 2: and you the way it makes you feel. And I

1020
00:45:48,200 --> 00:45:51,759
Speaker 2: read something interesting recently, will not There's another comedian. I

1021
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:53,520
Speaker 2: just met her. We did the Comedy Store together the

1022
00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:56,399
Speaker 2: other night, and she's she writes really beautifully, like she'll

1023
00:45:56,440 --> 00:45:58,480
Speaker 2: put up a photo, but then when you scroll across,

1024
00:45:58,480 --> 00:46:00,640
Speaker 2: she has like she just does all this right. And

1025
00:46:01,239 --> 00:46:03,759
Speaker 2: she was talking about comedy being a calling and you

1026
00:46:03,960 --> 00:46:05,560
Speaker 2: either have the calling or you don't have the calling.

1027
00:46:05,560 --> 00:46:07,360
Speaker 2: But once you've got the calling, you cannot stop. You

1028
00:46:07,400 --> 00:46:09,080
Speaker 2: cannot do anything else. And that's what I have felt

1029
00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:11,480
Speaker 2: since I found it. And I have done so many

1030
00:46:11,480 --> 00:46:13,160
Speaker 2: different things in my life, and I never stick to

1031
00:46:13,200 --> 00:46:15,080
Speaker 2: anything for that long. So the fact that I'm still

1032
00:46:15,080 --> 00:46:17,680
Speaker 2: here more than four years later, still doing comedy, and

1033
00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:20,000
Speaker 2: it's like I'm definitely not stopping, like I'm just getting

1034
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:21,000
Speaker 2: started and I love it.

1035
00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:24,160
Speaker 1: What is it about? What is it about stand up?

1036
00:46:24,200 --> 00:46:28,879
Speaker 1: Do you think that only stand up can do well?

1037
00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:31,680
Speaker 2: I think as well, like because you can, you know,

1038
00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:35,279
Speaker 2: make light of shitty things in life, and like I

1039
00:46:35,320 --> 00:46:38,360
Speaker 2: think making people laugh is so powerful and laughter, like

1040
00:46:38,440 --> 00:46:40,040
Speaker 2: they don't say that for no reason. Laughter is the

1041
00:46:40,040 --> 00:46:42,840
Speaker 2: best medicine. So it's almost like yeah, yeah, it's like

1042
00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:44,719
Speaker 2: I've got a magic power, Like I can make this

1043
00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:47,279
Speaker 2: person walk out of the room feeling lighter and better

1044
00:46:47,320 --> 00:46:50,520
Speaker 2: about life. Or sometimes people because I do talk about

1045
00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:53,920
Speaker 2: dark subjects subjects in my show because like I'm just

1046
00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:56,239
Speaker 2: drawing on my life experiences and there has been some

1047
00:46:56,320 --> 00:46:58,960
Speaker 2: dark things and people will come up to me afterwards,

1048
00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:02,680
Speaker 2: and like people who haven't had those experiences sometimes they'll think, oh,

1049
00:47:02,719 --> 00:47:04,239
Speaker 2: that was a bit much, But the people who have,

1050
00:47:04,320 --> 00:47:06,520
Speaker 2: they're like, thank you so much and like, oh my

1051
00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:10,160
Speaker 2: dad did that too, and like you know, makes people

1052
00:47:10,200 --> 00:47:13,319
Speaker 2: feel better you have.

1053
00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:16,359
Speaker 1: Like I think about, you know, what is it that

1054
00:47:16,440 --> 00:47:18,400
Speaker 1: when I think about, sorry, is it going to slight

1055
00:47:18,600 --> 00:47:23,360
Speaker 1: arc here? Why does anyone do anything it just to

1056
00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:25,960
Speaker 1: feel differently to how they feel right now? Okay? And

1057
00:47:26,560 --> 00:47:30,920
Speaker 1: when you go to an adult entertainment venue, there is

1058
00:47:31,760 --> 00:47:34,799
Speaker 1: for the most part, you're kind of paying to be

1059
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:38,719
Speaker 1: stimulated into having a physical response, whether it be one

1060
00:47:38,719 --> 00:47:40,520
Speaker 1: that is visible or one just like, oh, this feels

1061
00:47:40,520 --> 00:47:42,360
Speaker 1: I feel the kind of butterflies and my tummy because

1062
00:47:42,440 --> 00:47:45,239
Speaker 1: here I am getting a lap dance or whatever. But

1063
00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:48,080
Speaker 1: now in a different way, you're still standing on stage

1064
00:47:48,120 --> 00:47:51,680
Speaker 1: and you're giving someone you're doing You're doing something on stage.

1065
00:47:51,680 --> 00:47:53,759
Speaker 1: It's making something in their body change that they're not in

1066
00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:58,440
Speaker 1: control of, which is kind of really interesting relationship. I

1067
00:47:58,440 --> 00:47:59,560
Speaker 1: think that's kind of cool.

1068
00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:02,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've not looked at it like that, but yeah,

1069
00:48:02,320 --> 00:48:05,440
Speaker 2: it's like it's actually quite similar. It is just comedy

1070
00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:05,879
Speaker 2: is hard off.

1071
00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:13,680
Speaker 1: I hope you meant that because that was really good.

1072
00:48:13,760 --> 00:48:14,560
Speaker 2: No, I really did.

1073
00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:20,960
Speaker 1: No, Yeah, because that's where I thought you were going.

1074
00:48:21,120 --> 00:48:22,960
Speaker 1: It was really good. It was really No, that was

1075
00:48:22,960 --> 00:48:27,160
Speaker 1: really good. That was really good. So when it comes

1076
00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:28,759
Speaker 1: to what do people need to know about? You've got

1077
00:48:28,760 --> 00:48:31,720
Speaker 1: another another show coming up, and as I mentioned earlier,

1078
00:48:31,760 --> 00:48:34,719
Speaker 1: I've seen It's Made of Mine. Do we do an

1079
00:48:34,760 --> 00:48:37,160
Speaker 1: hour every year? What do people need to know about

1080
00:48:37,160 --> 00:48:39,440
Speaker 1: the amount of work it takes to go into a

1081
00:48:39,880 --> 00:48:40,919
Speaker 1: new comedy show.

1082
00:48:42,080 --> 00:48:45,759
Speaker 2: Well, I mean every comedian's process is different, So like,

1083
00:48:46,080 --> 00:48:48,640
Speaker 2: what's because for the people doing a new hour every year,

1084
00:48:48,880 --> 00:48:51,200
Speaker 2: they're they're still doing their other show all year, and

1085
00:48:51,239 --> 00:48:53,000
Speaker 2: then they've also got to think about their next show.

1086
00:48:53,080 --> 00:48:55,799
Speaker 2: So I think I do, like my process is more

1087
00:48:55,880 --> 00:48:58,359
Speaker 2: like I start to think about it maybe halfway through

1088
00:48:58,360 --> 00:49:00,600
Speaker 2: the year. I'm like, okay, like middle of the year,

1089
00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:01,759
Speaker 2: I know that the end of the year is now

1090
00:49:01,800 --> 00:49:03,600
Speaker 2: we're on the downhill run and you've got to have

1091
00:49:03,640 --> 00:49:05,359
Speaker 2: something at the end of the year. So I think

1092
00:49:05,360 --> 00:49:07,440
Speaker 2: I just start background processing. Then I'm like, Okay, what

1093
00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:09,560
Speaker 2: could I possibly be talking about? And I did already

1094
00:49:09,560 --> 00:49:13,080
Speaker 2: have ideas, which I'm still keeping some of them. But

1095
00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:15,239
Speaker 2: then my life changed a little bit because then I

1096
00:49:15,280 --> 00:49:17,200
Speaker 2: went through a breakup, so that kind of changed the

1097
00:49:17,239 --> 00:49:19,600
Speaker 2: course of the things that I'm talking about, And like

1098
00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:21,040
Speaker 2: I was not going to do a show about the

1099
00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:24,480
Speaker 2: adult industry. Now I am because I've wound up back here.

1100
00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:27,719
Speaker 2: But it's all, honestly, it's all the way the show

1101
00:49:27,719 --> 00:49:29,200
Speaker 2: has come together and the way the things have un

1102
00:49:29,239 --> 00:49:31,000
Speaker 2: folded in my life, Like it's all it's kind of

1103
00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:34,520
Speaker 2: like I feel like it's is my life purpose to

1104
00:49:34,520 --> 00:49:36,560
Speaker 2: be on only fans. No, But is everything happening for

1105
00:49:36,600 --> 00:49:38,520
Speaker 2: the reason it is right now? I do believe that,

1106
00:49:39,239 --> 00:49:41,279
Speaker 2: and so I'm really really excited about this next show.

1107
00:49:41,280 --> 00:49:42,200
Speaker 2: I think it's gonna be really good.

1108
00:49:42,640 --> 00:49:48,120
Speaker 1: You just knowing your story, you have seen more of

1109
00:49:48,160 --> 00:49:50,040
Speaker 1: the difficult parts of what it is to be a

1110
00:49:50,160 --> 00:49:54,880
Speaker 1: human than many other people. When you think about the

1111
00:49:54,920 --> 00:49:56,560
Speaker 1: life that your kids have and the world are growing

1112
00:49:56,640 --> 00:49:58,360
Speaker 1: up in, how do you feel.

1113
00:49:59,280 --> 00:50:01,160
Speaker 2: I do like, I definitely do worry about them, and

1114
00:50:01,200 --> 00:50:04,319
Speaker 2: I really am trying to protect them and give them

1115
00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:08,879
Speaker 2: a better entry into the world than I had. And

1116
00:50:09,640 --> 00:50:11,399
Speaker 2: the main way that I do that is just by

1117
00:50:11,480 --> 00:50:14,400
Speaker 2: nurturing that. I want them to feel loved and safe,

1118
00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:16,320
Speaker 2: and I want them to feel like I'm always pumping

1119
00:50:16,360 --> 00:50:19,200
Speaker 2: them up and making sure like working on their confidence.

1120
00:50:19,320 --> 00:50:22,440
Speaker 2: And yeah, I don't want them to have all the

1121
00:50:22,560 --> 00:50:24,239
Speaker 2: hang ups that I went into life. And I know

1122
00:50:24,280 --> 00:50:26,279
Speaker 2: I can't fix everything, but I just feel like if

1123
00:50:26,320 --> 00:50:28,319
Speaker 2: I have a really good relationship with each child and

1124
00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:31,520
Speaker 2: they can always come to me, it's become more important

1125
00:50:31,520 --> 00:50:35,080
Speaker 2: than more important to me than ever, like recently, especially

1126
00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:36,719
Speaker 2: because because I went through this breakup and then I

1127
00:50:36,800 --> 00:50:38,759
Speaker 2: also at the same time as the breakup, I had

1128
00:50:38,760 --> 00:50:41,440
Speaker 2: all these realizations about my parents that I still was,

1129
00:50:41,440 --> 00:50:43,359
Speaker 2: like I was still sugarcoating my dad and maybe that's

1130
00:50:43,360 --> 00:50:46,680
Speaker 2: why I keep end up in these unhealthy relationships. And

1131
00:50:48,040 --> 00:50:49,960
Speaker 2: so all these like veils have dropped, and so I'm

1132
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:53,560
Speaker 2: still learning constantly and then yeah, I really want to

1133
00:50:53,600 --> 00:50:57,680
Speaker 2: make sure that my kids. My kids don't have the

1134
00:50:57,719 --> 00:51:00,799
Speaker 2: same illusions about adults and about the people in their

1135
00:51:00,800 --> 00:51:03,000
Speaker 2: lives that I had. I don't want them thinking like

1136
00:51:03,080 --> 00:51:04,719
Speaker 2: this is normal and you can be treated like that.

1137
00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:07,000
Speaker 2: And I'm so I'm yeah.

1138
00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:09,640
Speaker 1: It is important after a breakup to you can have

1139
00:51:09,719 --> 00:51:13,560
Speaker 1: your moment where you get to go, ah, and how

1140
00:51:13,640 --> 00:51:16,600
Speaker 1: dare they leave me? But then you kind of have

1141
00:51:16,640 --> 00:51:17,000
Speaker 1: to go. Oh.

1142
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:18,560
Speaker 2: I took one hundred percent responsibility for.

1143
00:51:18,719 --> 00:51:20,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, you kind of have to go. I did choose that.

1144
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:23,840
Speaker 2: I knew from day one it would end up exactly.

1145
00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:24,200
Speaker 1: The way that it did.

1146
00:51:25,040 --> 00:51:28,800
Speaker 2: And I was like, okay, yes, Lise, because I wasn't healed.

1147
00:51:28,640 --> 00:51:31,160
Speaker 1: Yet, So yeah, okay, so talk to me about that,

1148
00:51:31,280 --> 00:51:34,560
Speaker 1: talk to me about the work that's involved there.

1149
00:51:35,239 --> 00:51:38,000
Speaker 2: I think it's just like I know what I do

1150
00:51:38,120 --> 00:51:40,560
Speaker 2: and don't want I know what boundaries I don't want cross,

1151
00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:43,160
Speaker 2: and it's up to me to make sure that I

1152
00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:46,359
Speaker 2: don't accept anything but that. And I was and I kept,

1153
00:51:46,480 --> 00:51:48,520
Speaker 2: I kept trying to convince myself I could be okay

1154
00:51:48,520 --> 00:51:50,560
Speaker 2: with these things that I just wasn't okay with. And

1155
00:51:50,760 --> 00:51:54,000
Speaker 2: it's up to me to, like, I know what I want,

1156
00:51:54,040 --> 00:51:57,120
Speaker 2: and I have to, you know, stop getting swept up

1157
00:51:57,120 --> 00:52:00,200
Speaker 2: in things. And the next time someone comes along that

1158
00:52:00,440 --> 00:52:02,080
Speaker 2: I might be attracted to, but if they don't meet

1159
00:52:02,080 --> 00:52:05,440
Speaker 2: these standards, then I have to start saying no so

1160
00:52:05,480 --> 00:52:07,560
Speaker 2: that I can attract someone into my life that will

1161
00:52:08,280 --> 00:52:09,879
Speaker 2: be better for me and we can have a nice,

1162
00:52:09,880 --> 00:52:12,399
Speaker 2: healthy relationship and live happily rather But.

1163
00:52:12,360 --> 00:52:14,440
Speaker 1: It's also modeling to your kids what I.

1164
00:52:14,360 --> 00:52:16,800
Speaker 2: Would really really want to be in a healthy relationship,

1165
00:52:16,840 --> 00:52:18,480
Speaker 2: not just for me, but for them. I want them

1166
00:52:18,520 --> 00:52:19,120
Speaker 2: to see that.

1167
00:52:19,040 --> 00:52:21,920
Speaker 1: And modeling to them this is what boundaries look like. Yeah,

1168
00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:24,560
Speaker 1: Because when they're no longer under your roof and they're

1169
00:52:24,560 --> 00:52:27,799
Speaker 1: out in the world, that's kind of all you've got

1170
00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:31,680
Speaker 1: is what they learned when they were little. And which

1171
00:52:31,719 --> 00:52:33,600
Speaker 1: is the thing that's the best and worst part of

1172
00:52:33,600 --> 00:52:36,879
Speaker 1: it all is that, oh, mate, you're learning everything I'm

1173
00:52:36,880 --> 00:52:37,520
Speaker 1: doing here, aren't you.

1174
00:52:37,640 --> 00:52:38,799
Speaker 2: Fuck Yeah, Yeah.

1175
00:52:39,360 --> 00:52:42,640
Speaker 1: Well, I'm excited to see what you do with this,

1176
00:52:42,719 --> 00:52:47,640
Speaker 1: because there's more than enough in your life to create

1177
00:52:48,239 --> 00:52:52,799
Speaker 1: an incredible universe that we could look through to see

1178
00:52:52,840 --> 00:52:54,000
Speaker 1: a bit more of what it is to be a

1179
00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:59,280
Speaker 1: human because we don't really for reasons, I won't describe.

1180
00:53:00,239 --> 00:53:02,160
Speaker 1: I know, what the back of a circus smells like,

1181
00:53:03,719 --> 00:53:07,239
Speaker 1: and that's that's a part of Australia that we never

1182
00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:11,160
Speaker 1: really kind of explore, right, the life, the communities that

1183
00:53:11,239 --> 00:53:13,839
Speaker 1: travel and doing those sort of things. And I think

1184
00:53:13,880 --> 00:53:15,880
Speaker 1: it's really fascinating this kind of thing that only happens

1185
00:53:15,920 --> 00:53:18,160
Speaker 1: here in Australia and the kind of people that get

1186
00:53:18,160 --> 00:53:21,959
Speaker 1: involved in that situation and what those you know, relationships

1187
00:53:21,960 --> 00:53:24,799
Speaker 1: are like, and the ups and downs of it all

1188
00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:28,560
Speaker 1: and you know, the camaraderie but also the risks. I

1189
00:53:28,560 --> 00:53:31,040
Speaker 1: think there's a lot of fascinating things yet to come

1190
00:53:31,080 --> 00:53:31,360
Speaker 1: from you.

1191
00:53:32,080 --> 00:53:34,080
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, Well, I'm going to keep telling my stories

1192
00:53:34,120 --> 00:53:36,360
Speaker 2: through stand up and then I actually do I want to.

1193
00:53:36,600 --> 00:53:38,359
Speaker 2: I'm trying to. I'm going to start trying to write

1194
00:53:38,360 --> 00:53:39,600
Speaker 2: a script like I want to either put it into

1195
00:53:39,680 --> 00:53:40,879
Speaker 2: like a TV show or a movie.

1196
00:53:40,880 --> 00:53:42,800
Speaker 1: It's got it's got to not. It can't not.

1197
00:53:43,040 --> 00:53:46,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, because people like, even before I started comedy,

1198
00:53:46,160 --> 00:53:48,080
Speaker 2: people do like hear me talk about like the wild

1199
00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:49,840
Speaker 2: things that have happened. They're like, you should write a book.

1200
00:53:49,960 --> 00:53:52,080
Speaker 2: Like I've heard that so many times, and now that

1201
00:53:52,120 --> 00:53:54,560
Speaker 2: I'm in this industry and I'm like, yeah, I should

1202
00:53:54,640 --> 00:53:57,719
Speaker 2: actually do this into because people have like said, like

1203
00:53:58,040 --> 00:53:59,399
Speaker 2: even if I saw this in a movie, I would

1204
00:53:59,480 --> 00:54:04,520
Speaker 2: find it hard to believe like this wild story.

1205
00:54:05,239 --> 00:54:07,480
Speaker 1: Do you have a name for the next show I do.

1206
00:54:07,560 --> 00:54:08,800
Speaker 2: It's called The Naked Truth.

1207
00:54:13,440 --> 00:54:15,440
Speaker 1: NICKI, thank you so much for making the time.

1208
00:54:16,480 --> 00:54:17,200
Speaker 2: I've enjoyed this.

1209
00:54:17,640 --> 00:54:22,600
Speaker 1: I'm glad you made it. That was Nicki Justice. You

1210
00:54:22,600 --> 00:54:24,680
Speaker 1: can see her stand up show. She's on tour at

1211
00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:26,880
Speaker 1: the moment. You can find all the details about that

1212
00:54:27,520 --> 00:54:29,319
Speaker 1: and all the other work that she does. You can

1213
00:54:29,320 --> 00:54:31,200
Speaker 1: go and explore all of it. It's all for you

1214
00:54:32,160 --> 00:54:35,000
Speaker 1: on her website or her Instagram. All the details are

1215
00:54:35,080 --> 00:54:36,719
Speaker 1: in the show notes. That's where you can also find

1216
00:54:36,719 --> 00:54:38,600
Speaker 1: the YouTube channel for Story Club, So if you can't

1217
00:54:38,640 --> 00:54:40,799
Speaker 1: make it to the show, we put the stories up

1218
00:54:40,800 --> 00:54:42,440
Speaker 1: there every week and you can check out a new

1219
00:54:42,480 --> 00:54:45,239
Speaker 1: story every week. Get around it. It's brilliant. I love it.

1220
00:54:45,239 --> 00:54:48,160
Speaker 1: It's a fun show. To make and it's a fantastic night.

1221
00:54:48,200 --> 00:54:50,719
Speaker 1: It's the best, best date night in Sydney and I'd

1222
00:54:50,719 --> 00:54:51,880
Speaker 1: love you to come to the show one day, but

1223
00:54:51,880 --> 00:54:53,400
Speaker 1: if you can't, there's a YouTube channel if you can

1224
00:54:53,480 --> 00:54:56,840
Speaker 1: make it to the show fifteen Factory Theater, Marrickville. A

1225
00:54:56,880 --> 00:54:59,319
Speaker 1: couple of tickets still left. Thanks to everyone that helped

1226
00:54:59,360 --> 00:55:01,560
Speaker 1: me make the show today, particularly my producer Damien Havden

1227
00:55:01,920 --> 00:55:06,040
Speaker 1: and my brilliant, brilliant executive assistant Cassidy Groom. Who's you know.

1228
00:55:06,040 --> 00:55:08,360
Speaker 1: I couldn't do any of this without. If you'd like

1229
00:55:08,400 --> 00:55:10,319
Speaker 1: the show, tell a friend, forward it to someone like

1230
00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:13,040
Speaker 1: share rate, subscribe, you know the deal. There's also a

1231
00:55:13,080 --> 00:55:16,200
Speaker 1: YouTube page which has all the videos of these shows,

1232
00:55:16,320 --> 00:55:19,520
Speaker 1: so come check us out. Thanks for listening by