WEBVTT - Female friendships, imposter syndrome... and we got some honest feedback 0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:02.440 Ad A Lady ad A Lady ad A Lady ad 0:00:02.560 --> 0:00:03.520 Lady Filter. 0:00:03.640 --> 0:00:05.960 Hello, Hello, welcome to another pod. 0:00:06.120 --> 0:00:10.320 I'm Hailey and I'm Lauren and we are ad Lady 0:00:10.320 --> 0:00:10.799 on Filtered. 0:00:10.840 --> 0:00:11.520 We're besties. 0:00:11.640 --> 0:00:14.880 We're business partners where the creators of Adelady hollo I 0:00:15.000 --> 0:00:19.680 say hey, Lossy Media, and we do everything together except ba. 0:00:20.560 --> 0:00:23.960 Alright e right, We've got a big week. We are 0:00:24.000 --> 0:00:26.400 talking about self doubt and imposter syndrome. 0:00:26.640 --> 0:00:28.560 You're neck deep in that right now. 0:00:28.640 --> 0:00:31.240 Oh my gosh, there is a lot to unpack there, 0:00:31.600 --> 0:00:33.680 and the power of female friendships. 0:00:33.920 --> 0:00:37.160 Yes, I want to talk about something because I saw something. 0:00:36.920 --> 0:00:40.040 On Instagram yesterday and it actually frightened me, going, oh 0:00:40.080 --> 0:00:41.960 my god, I'm doing that and I don't want to 0:00:42.000 --> 0:00:44.360 be that person. So we're going to dive deep into 0:00:44.400 --> 0:00:47.960 that later. But normally we start every podcast with a 0:00:48.000 --> 0:00:50.479 little member of the week, like a little tidbit that 0:00:50.560 --> 0:00:51.320 happened in our. 0:00:51.159 --> 0:00:54.120 Lives, something silly that just made us giggle, and we 0:00:54.120 --> 0:00:55.720 don't tell each other until the podcast. 0:00:55.880 --> 0:01:00.200 But today we're kind of united on something and it's 0:01:00.200 --> 0:01:03.280 a little bit awkward to talk about. Yeah, we got 0:01:03.280 --> 0:01:05.160 some feedback on the podcast. 0:01:05.440 --> 0:01:06.959 Let's start with a positive feedback. 0:01:07.040 --> 0:01:10.560 There's been some amazing feedback, Like we have had really 0:01:10.720 --> 0:01:14.800 like people taking the time to write really long, detailed 0:01:14.840 --> 0:01:17.680 messages and you've got no idea what that means throughout 0:01:17.760 --> 0:01:21.280 Adelady Hallo, I say, and now the podcast, whenever anyone 0:01:21.319 --> 0:01:24.600 takes the time to write to us, it means the world. 0:01:24.880 --> 0:01:25.160 Yeah. 0:01:25.200 --> 0:01:27.920 And it's people that we haven't met before, but they 0:01:27.959 --> 0:01:31.360 feel strangely and beautifully connected to us. It's people that 0:01:31.360 --> 0:01:33.160 we do know in the industry who are like, oh 0:01:33.200 --> 0:01:34.760 my gosh, I feel you. 0:01:34.840 --> 0:01:36.399 I'm in that position, thank you for. 0:01:36.400 --> 0:01:39.760 Talking about it, like really lovely stuff, to the point 0:01:39.760 --> 0:01:42.600 that I was almost like, God, this is great. 0:01:42.959 --> 0:01:47.040 My head is feeling quite inflated. 0:01:47.160 --> 0:01:49.480 There is nothing worse than Haley Beers and having a 0:01:49.480 --> 0:01:52.400 massive head, which is never happened in my life until now. 0:01:53.600 --> 0:01:53.720 So. 0:01:53.760 --> 0:01:56.520 But we were brought down to earth quite. 0:01:57.320 --> 0:02:01.280 Fast, very fast on the weekend when we had a 0:02:01.280 --> 0:02:04.960 bit of feedback from two people who we actually love dearly. 0:02:05.880 --> 0:02:09.520 The first lot of feedback was actually from my mother 0:02:10.160 --> 0:02:12.600 who said she hates the podcast. 0:02:13.560 --> 0:02:17.360 Mush. First of all, she hasn't listened to the podcast. 0:02:17.560 --> 0:02:19.960 She's just going on the videos that she's seen. 0:02:19.960 --> 0:02:24.040 Secondly, has she not heard of a positive sandwich, like Jules, 0:02:24.120 --> 0:02:27.520 you got to really work on your delivery, love you 0:02:27.600 --> 0:02:32.800 and Hailey Great Gals podcast really isn't for me, continue 0:02:32.840 --> 0:02:35.399 doing great things something like that. But she just goes 0:02:35.440 --> 0:02:36.840 straight to the meet in the middle of the sandwich. 0:02:36.960 --> 0:02:39.720 It's not for me. You're sharing too much. I don't 0:02:39.880 --> 0:02:42.160 like it. I've had friends tell me which friends I'm 0:02:42.160 --> 0:02:46.880 not telling you? Are you the friends? Your friend's name 0:02:46.919 --> 0:02:48.919 and shame god, I wanted you to name in shape. 0:02:48.960 --> 0:02:50.440 I had them all ready to go on my head. Well, 0:02:50.440 --> 0:02:52.240 I don't care what so and so thinks. 0:02:52.680 --> 0:02:58.079 Okay, So her issue is that we're over sharing too much. Yes, 0:02:58.200 --> 0:03:01.919 and she doesn't like the personal stuff. My mum also 0:03:01.960 --> 0:03:05.120 has feedback on the podcast, and my mum is a 0:03:05.160 --> 0:03:06.519 positive sandwich kind of gal. 0:03:06.960 --> 0:03:11.359 And she did exactly that. I love episode one. It 0:03:11.520 --> 0:03:13.679 was great. Episode two. 0:03:13.720 --> 0:03:17.119 I think we lost her because we were talking about 0:03:17.160 --> 0:03:21.960 oversharing and she said, I just worry that, you know, 0:03:22.560 --> 0:03:24.960 me and my friends who watch Hello Essay are not 0:03:25.320 --> 0:03:26.600 I get you're gonna lose viewers. 0:03:26.639 --> 0:03:27.320 That's what it was there. 0:03:27.360 --> 0:03:28.640 It was the constipation story. 0:03:28.919 --> 0:03:32.880 It was that yeah, yeah, And I was like, ouch. 0:03:33.280 --> 0:03:38.920 But then I explained to her that this podcast is us. 0:03:39.400 --> 0:03:41.720 She goes, you built such a beautiful reputation. I'm like, 0:03:41.840 --> 0:03:44.200 I know, and that's who we are on Adelady and 0:03:44.240 --> 0:03:47.800 Hello Essay. But we also have very real conversations with 0:03:47.840 --> 0:03:50.480 our friends about these things. When I'm out for breakfast 0:03:50.480 --> 0:03:53.120 with my girlfriends or you and the cameras aren't rolling, 0:03:53.440 --> 0:03:55.160 this is exactly what we're talking about. 0:03:55.280 --> 0:03:58.480 But we've always been oversharers, Like even if you're filming 0:03:58.560 --> 0:04:01.560 and something's happened, you know, if I've gone to a 0:04:01.600 --> 0:04:04.440 restaurant and I'm filming with a lovely couple and something's 0:04:04.480 --> 0:04:07.600 happened on the way there, I can't help but tell 0:04:07.640 --> 0:04:10.200 them because yeah, I can't keep a wall up, and 0:04:10.240 --> 0:04:13.120 the fact that someone might be like, oh, Lauren's being 0:04:13.120 --> 0:04:15.320 a bit bitchy today, or she's not being herself, or 0:04:15.320 --> 0:04:18.640 she's quite a cold person, even though I'm going through 0:04:18.640 --> 0:04:20.920 something and me trying to put up a wall, that's 0:04:20.960 --> 0:04:23.120 just not who I am. I have to tell people 0:04:23.320 --> 0:04:26.679 do have faces, no, never a poker face. 0:04:26.880 --> 0:04:27.400 You will know. 0:04:27.839 --> 0:04:31.000 Don't ask me how I am if you can see 0:04:31.040 --> 0:04:33.280 that I'm clearly not okay, because you will not get 0:04:33.320 --> 0:04:35.880 a one word answer, you'll get my entire life story. 0:04:36.320 --> 0:04:39.640 So we love our moms and we've taken on their 0:04:39.640 --> 0:04:42.280 feedback and yet her and her a little bit. 0:04:42.480 --> 0:04:43.040 It is stung. 0:04:43.160 --> 0:04:45.200 Do you know what? They are biggest fans. And I 0:04:45.240 --> 0:04:48.960 love that. My mum has always been the baby just 0:04:49.040 --> 0:04:53.400 kicked Sloria just got me big kick. She'll always tell 0:04:53.440 --> 0:04:55.560 me like it is remote. She'll always bring me back 0:04:55.560 --> 0:04:57.919 down to earth. She'll stop me riding majestically into the 0:04:57.920 --> 0:05:00.760 sunset on the horse when I need to be So 0:05:00.839 --> 0:05:02.960 I took it on board. But we're going to continue 0:05:03.000 --> 0:05:08.880 to be unfiltered. Sorry, mum. Do you know what we 0:05:08.920 --> 0:05:10.719 need to get? And we need to disclaim a like 0:05:10.760 --> 0:05:14.320 political ads like this podcast is not endorsed by oh 0:05:14.360 --> 0:05:17.840 my god, Pearson and Jada, Let's get them to voice it. 0:05:18.000 --> 0:05:21.960 These podcasts is not endorsed by myself, Gerlin. 0:05:26.360 --> 0:05:27.880 Do you know what we've just done? We've just made 0:05:27.880 --> 0:05:29.719 it worse. Now they hate our podcasts even more. 0:05:29.880 --> 0:05:34.600 Anyway, Okay, let's dive into where you were at the moment, 0:05:34.640 --> 0:05:36.120 which is so relatable. 0:05:36.880 --> 0:05:38.839 Go for it. 0:05:38.200 --> 0:05:42.560 Self, doubt and imposter syndrome. There's something that I've been 0:05:42.560 --> 0:05:46.560 feeling more and more lately, and it's getting worse and 0:05:46.640 --> 0:05:50.479 I can't shake it. And I'm not sure whether it's 0:05:50.760 --> 0:05:54.840 something that happens with age or whether it's something that 0:05:54.880 --> 0:06:00.799 has been happening with pregnancy. But I'm just doubt myself 0:06:01.440 --> 0:06:05.039 at every point. You know, when I was younger, when 0:06:05.040 --> 0:06:08.080 we started at a Lady ten years ago, I would 0:06:08.080 --> 0:06:11.240 walk into a meeting. I'd walk into a room even 0:06:11.240 --> 0:06:12.960 if I didn't know what was happening or what I 0:06:13.040 --> 0:06:16.400 was doing or what I was about to say. I 0:06:16.440 --> 0:06:18.560 owned the stage. 0:06:18.080 --> 0:06:19.080 You did. 0:06:19.160 --> 0:06:22.480 You would walk in briefcase first, and I knew, as 0:06:22.520 --> 0:06:24.720 your best friend that she has no idea what she's 0:06:24.720 --> 0:06:26.880 about to say or what's going on, but you would 0:06:26.880 --> 0:06:30.040 own the room. It was actually quite magical to watch. 0:06:30.320 --> 0:06:33.000 Oh you work that room like nobody else. 0:06:33.240 --> 0:06:36.400 But I never doubted your I with anything, like I 0:06:37.040 --> 0:06:38.360 just can you do this? 0:06:38.600 --> 0:06:39.520 Yeah? Can you do that? 0:06:40.200 --> 0:06:42.720 Of course? Can you host an event by yourself for 0:06:42.760 --> 0:06:43.520 a thousand people? 0:06:43.720 --> 0:06:47.359 I would love to What are you doubting I everything? 0:06:47.400 --> 0:06:51.480 Whether it's personal, whether it's work, I don't know. It's 0:06:51.600 --> 0:06:55.719 just this self doubt that's creeping in that's making me 0:06:55.800 --> 0:06:58.800 lose my confidence even with parenting. 0:06:58.920 --> 0:07:03.200 Like make let's start with parenting. Then how is it? 0:07:03.240 --> 0:07:05.320 How are you doubting yourself with Sophia? 0:07:06.160 --> 0:07:08.760 You know, if she does something or says something, Oh 0:07:08.839 --> 0:07:10.680 my gosh, this is me? What have I done? Am I? 0:07:11.920 --> 0:07:15.240 Everything's about blaming myself and making it about me as 0:07:15.280 --> 0:07:19.320 opposed to just going she's for if she's telling someone 0:07:19.840 --> 0:07:22.800 something that's not right, she's learning, like you know, like 0:07:22.880 --> 0:07:27.120 the rational part of my brain has gone, like even 0:07:27.160 --> 0:07:30.240 with MC work now, like talking in front of people, 0:07:31.080 --> 0:07:33.880 I like, I'm getting sweaty hands thinking about it. This 0:07:33.960 --> 0:07:36.760 is our life, like our lives. We've done this for 0:07:36.800 --> 0:07:37.440 ten years. 0:07:37.680 --> 0:07:43.040 This is this is anxiety, anxiety because I've always said 0:07:43.040 --> 0:07:45.320 that I've had it, but you've never like you've you 0:07:45.360 --> 0:07:47.240 can't really pinpoint in time when you've had it. 0:07:47.280 --> 0:07:49.280 But this is what that is. Was this is. 0:07:50.960 --> 0:07:54.120 Feeling panicky in your chest, tight in your chest and 0:07:54.280 --> 0:07:56.400 not knowing what you're going to say, and being a 0:07:56.520 --> 0:07:58.680 nervous feeling that you don't that you're not used to. 0:07:58.840 --> 0:07:59.320 Is that right? 0:07:59.440 --> 0:08:03.800 I think so? And before having Sofia, So Sophia, my 0:08:03.800 --> 0:08:07.280 little girl will be five in June, I was crystal clear. 0:08:07.600 --> 0:08:09.880 Mentally crystal clear, so. 0:08:10.520 --> 0:08:14.200 I would say you would never crystal clear. I am 0:08:14.520 --> 0:08:15.239 crystal clear. 0:08:16.000 --> 0:08:18.000 In the whole fifteen years i've known you, you have 0:08:18.280 --> 0:08:19.720 ever been crystal clear. 0:08:20.120 --> 0:08:28.160 You have always been murky. Always I was c well. 0:08:28.720 --> 0:08:32.600 I thought I was usually carry on, you know, like 0:08:32.640 --> 0:08:34.960 would work, like the words and everything coming to me. 0:08:35.000 --> 0:08:37.160 So I always knew that even if I was slightly 0:08:37.160 --> 0:08:40.079 nervous or got that little butterfly feeling, which is good. 0:08:40.200 --> 0:08:42.439 I feel like if you don't get that feeling every 0:08:42.520 --> 0:08:46.120 day doing something, then you're not in the right industry. Still, 0:08:46.160 --> 0:08:48.839 to this day, after ten years of filming, I rock 0:08:48.920 --> 0:08:51.280 up and I've got that little bit of like nervous energy, 0:08:51.320 --> 0:08:52.720 But I think that's good. 0:08:53.080 --> 0:08:55.240 Yeah, can I can I jump in here? This is 0:08:55.280 --> 0:08:58.200 something that from behind the scenes you probably wouldn't know. 0:08:58.480 --> 0:09:03.520 When we do MC things, Lauren and I will often haven't. 0:09:04.280 --> 0:09:06.280 I don't know if I should reveal this, but I will. 0:09:06.360 --> 0:09:10.559 We haven't read the scripts properly. We purely rely on 0:09:10.840 --> 0:09:14.800 our interactions and relationship, knowing that when we're on stage, 0:09:14.800 --> 0:09:16.560 if one of us flops, the other one will pick 0:09:16.600 --> 0:09:19.079 it up, and I always feel safe, so I don't 0:09:19.120 --> 0:09:19.840 overthink things. 0:09:19.880 --> 0:09:22.200 No, we know the basis of like, if we are 0:09:22.240 --> 0:09:25.040 talking an event, we know all the details and where 0:09:25.040 --> 0:09:27.240 the restrooms are and it's a no smoking vehan. 0:09:27.280 --> 0:09:28.959 But what I'm saying is we wing everything. 0:09:28.960 --> 0:09:31.920 We do everything. But I know I can literally not 0:09:32.000 --> 0:09:34.480 be looking at you, and I know when you're about 0:09:34.520 --> 0:09:36.200 to finish a sentence and I know that I'm going 0:09:36.240 --> 0:09:37.439 to jump in and you're going to stop. 0:09:37.600 --> 0:09:40.440 Yeah, it's exactly one time that we were on stage 0:09:40.480 --> 0:09:44.280 at Adelaide Oval and I think you started the thing 0:09:44.360 --> 0:09:45.880 saying that your name was Hailey Pierson. 0:09:45.920 --> 0:09:47.880 Oh my gosh, do you know why? Because it was 0:09:47.920 --> 0:09:51.160 the one time Hailey has always got stage and I'm 0:09:51.200 --> 0:09:53.280 Hailey Pearson and this is Laurena's Chez run. I went, 0:09:53.360 --> 0:09:55.520 you know what I want to do that? Why do 0:09:55.679 --> 0:09:57.480 you always get to do the beginning? So I got 0:09:57.480 --> 0:09:59.000 off on stage. I was like, right, it's my time, 0:09:59.160 --> 0:10:01.679 just shine and I went good evening, everyone, Welcome to 0:10:01.679 --> 0:10:03.600 Adelaide Oval. I'm Hailey Pierces and. 0:10:03.520 --> 0:10:04.640 This is load of jesuit. 0:10:06.440 --> 0:10:08.600 And then from that moment on, I went, no, you 0:10:08.640 --> 0:10:09.719 always do the beginning back. 0:10:09.760 --> 0:10:12.600 But then you went blank and you literally and this 0:10:12.760 --> 0:10:15.079 is like, this is like the worst thing to happen 0:10:15.080 --> 0:10:17.360 in this industry because it happens to us all the time. 0:10:18.080 --> 0:10:21.360 Your brain literally went dempletely blank, and you stared at 0:10:21.400 --> 0:10:24.240 me like save me, and that I had to jumped in. 0:10:25.280 --> 0:10:26.280 You literally had nothing. 0:10:26.960 --> 0:10:29.920 And I also didn't remember my first MCN coming out 0:10:29.920 --> 0:10:34.200 of having Sophia, and you said something and looked at 0:10:34.240 --> 0:10:37.000 me and went, I'm sorry, I just had a baby. 0:10:37.040 --> 0:10:39.839 I don't know what you're saying, yeah, because I wasn't listening. 0:10:39.920 --> 0:10:41.560 I was tuned out. I think I was thinking in 0:10:41.559 --> 0:10:43.800 my head I need to pump or something. And then 0:10:43.840 --> 0:10:46.360 I went, I'm so sorry, guys, baby brain, And thank goodness, 0:10:46.440 --> 0:10:48.400 everyone in the room was kind and understood. 0:10:48.559 --> 0:10:49.760 Everybody gets it. 0:10:49.880 --> 0:10:53.600 And this is not something that is gonna last forever 0:10:53.760 --> 0:10:57.280 because you are super confident and you have to be 0:10:57.280 --> 0:10:59.600 because I rely on your confidence to give me confidence. 0:11:00.160 --> 0:11:03.920 But it is a normal thing when you are pregnant. 0:11:03.960 --> 0:11:06.800 I probably got after I had the babies I experienced 0:11:06.840 --> 0:11:09.400 for the first time of like, I come across as 0:11:09.440 --> 0:11:12.360 I'm really confident, but I hate being in a room 0:11:12.400 --> 0:11:14.320 where we have to network and talk to people that 0:11:15.640 --> 0:11:17.800 I don't know. I'd rather have a real deep conversation 0:11:17.880 --> 0:11:19.880 with one person than talk to a million people about 0:11:20.000 --> 0:11:23.120 shit and that gives me anxiety. 0:11:23.200 --> 0:11:25.680 But that's the problem because we like that. Well, not 0:11:25.760 --> 0:11:28.720 a problem, but that is why we will meet someone 0:11:28.880 --> 0:11:31.880 even in a scenario of a massive event, and we 0:11:31.920 --> 0:11:33.160 go deep really quickly. 0:11:33.440 --> 0:11:36.200 Yeah, because we love connection. 0:11:36.440 --> 0:11:40.520 Yeah, and when you don't have connection, you get anxious. 0:11:41.160 --> 0:11:44.600 So yeah, what are the things you're doing that make 0:11:44.679 --> 0:11:48.319 you feel better and less self doubt? 0:11:49.440 --> 0:11:51.120 I literally do you need from me? 0:11:51.200 --> 0:11:54.080 And burgo No, it's like this weird self talk. So 0:11:54.160 --> 0:11:56.640 it's like I catch myself doing it because I even 0:11:56.720 --> 0:11:59.400 googled it, Like I was like, it's imposter syndrome, right, 0:11:59.440 --> 0:12:01.600 it has to be Why am I doubting myself? And 0:12:01.960 --> 0:12:04.840 I wanted to actually google what is imposter syndrome because 0:12:04.840 --> 0:12:07.360 there's a lot of buzzwords around, So I was like, 0:12:07.559 --> 0:12:10.920 is this what I'm having right now? It's a psychological phenomenon. 0:12:10.920 --> 0:12:14.680 We're high achieving individuals doubt their accomplishments and fear being 0:12:14.760 --> 0:12:17.480 exposed as frauds. So I was like, oh, high achieving, 0:12:17.559 --> 0:12:18.520 thank you. 0:12:18.960 --> 0:12:23.280 When you say fear being exposed as frauds? Are you 0:12:23.320 --> 0:12:25.920 saying that that's what we are? People who experiences are 0:12:25.960 --> 0:12:26.840 actually frauds. 0:12:26.880 --> 0:12:29.600 I don't know. I just saw high achieving. That's really lovely. 0:12:29.720 --> 0:12:33.720 I wantative. I don't want to be a fraud, even 0:12:33.760 --> 0:12:35.280 though I'm pretty sure I am a fraud. 0:12:35.640 --> 0:12:41.880 We are frauds. Continue attributing success to luck rather than competence. 0:12:42.559 --> 0:12:44.679 It's not like we're not luck. It's hard work. It 0:12:44.720 --> 0:12:46.520 is such hard work. I hate when people say you're 0:12:46.559 --> 0:12:51.280 so lucky. No, no, no, don't you say that to me. 0:12:52.400 --> 0:12:56.959 To get to work ten years in business, I always 0:12:57.000 --> 0:13:01.480 think everything we've missed out on family wise, we have 0:13:01.600 --> 0:13:05.439 put the business before, everything before, my relationship, back in 0:13:05.480 --> 0:13:08.320 the day, everything, So it's definitely not luck. It says. 0:13:08.360 --> 0:13:13.080 Symptoms include persistent self doubt, perfectionism, and a fear of failure. 0:13:13.360 --> 0:13:17.240 It is treated through cognitive behavioral therapy, identifying patterns and 0:13:17.280 --> 0:13:18.440 reframing thoughts. 0:13:20.280 --> 0:13:24.600 Reframing thoughts, I think everyone, it doesn't matter what industry 0:13:24.640 --> 0:13:27.480 you're in. I think it would be a very normal 0:13:27.520 --> 0:13:31.880 thing to have self doubt all the time until you're 0:13:31.960 --> 0:13:37.760 really confident at something and then you back yourself. 0:13:38.240 --> 0:13:39.880 But do you know what the great thing is? And 0:13:39.960 --> 0:13:43.000 we work with so many amazing businesses across the state, 0:13:43.160 --> 0:13:47.320 and some businesses, there's just the one owner. The thing 0:13:47.360 --> 0:13:50.800 that I think gets me through is I've got you. Yeah, 0:13:50.920 --> 0:13:54.120 so when I'm having this self doubt or I'm feeling 0:13:54.160 --> 0:13:59.559 low or doubting myself or not wanting to do something, 0:14:00.000 --> 0:14:03.360 I've always got you and you always kind of seem 0:14:03.400 --> 0:14:06.079 to pull me up. When you're sad, I don't fine, 0:14:06.240 --> 0:14:07.120 and vice versa. 0:14:07.320 --> 0:14:11.559 I don't know how people do businesses with one person. 0:14:12.600 --> 0:14:15.880 I would drown the anxiety and the stress of that. 0:14:16.040 --> 0:14:17.800 I would be out. I couldn't do it. 0:14:18.120 --> 0:14:22.720 Yeah, you make everything better and even when, like so, 0:14:22.800 --> 0:14:24.840 if you call me and you're really down and stressed 0:14:24.840 --> 0:14:28.560 about something, chances are I am equally a stress But 0:14:28.880 --> 0:14:30.480 my role in that position is like. 0:14:30.600 --> 0:14:32.160 No, no, no, everything's fine. 0:14:32.240 --> 0:14:35.160 And then I flip and somehow me telling you that 0:14:35.200 --> 0:14:38.200 everything's going to be fine rewires my brain to go, no, 0:14:38.280 --> 0:14:40.840 everything's going to be fine, and then it always is. 0:14:41.280 --> 0:14:43.320 That's the power of positive thinking. So maybe we just 0:14:43.360 --> 0:14:46.680 need to be more positive. It did say strategies to 0:14:46.720 --> 0:14:51.320 overcome self doubt practice self compassion, which is something we've 0:14:51.360 --> 0:14:53.840 said this so many times. If we spoke to a 0:14:53.920 --> 0:14:57.480 friend the way we speak to ourselves, we wouldn't have 0:14:57.520 --> 0:14:59.280 any friends. Why do I do this to me? 0:15:00.080 --> 0:15:01.840 Like, okay, let's actually practice that. 0:15:02.120 --> 0:15:04.160 What did you say to yourself this morning when you're 0:15:04.200 --> 0:15:06.360 like looking at yourself in the mirror, Now say that 0:15:06.400 --> 0:15:06.600 to me. 0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:10.160 Did you say you're disgusting? Yeah? 0:15:10.200 --> 0:15:11.720 I can't. I don't say that to you because I 0:15:11.800 --> 0:15:12.120 love you. 0:15:12.160 --> 0:15:12.440 I know. 0:15:13.800 --> 0:15:17.040 Imagine saying the things that you think about yourself to 0:15:17.160 --> 0:15:17.720 your best friend. 0:15:17.800 --> 0:15:19.520 You're a bad mum, you're a bad partner, you don't 0:15:19.520 --> 0:15:22.040 look great, your hair is terrible, your eyelashes are falling out, 0:15:22.080 --> 0:15:25.040 you've got pregnancy acne. Oh my god, who could love you? 0:15:25.120 --> 0:15:26.520 Oh gosh? It goes on. 0:15:27.280 --> 0:15:29.280 So what they're saying in that is that you have 0:15:29.320 --> 0:15:31.400 to be content within yourself. 0:15:31.280 --> 0:15:34.280 Practice self compassion, treat yourself with kindness just as you 0:15:34.320 --> 0:15:37.840 would a friend. Rather than engaging in half self criticism, 0:15:38.080 --> 0:15:42.720 which increases rather than decreases, self doubt, challenge your inner critic. 0:15:43.720 --> 0:15:45.880 Name you in a critic, to separate it from your 0:15:45.880 --> 0:15:49.560 true self and question its negative narratives. Which is true, 0:15:49.680 --> 0:15:53.120 it comes from, It's funny, It's not like it's crippling, 0:15:53.160 --> 0:15:54.320 do you know what I mean? Like, I just have 0:15:54.440 --> 0:15:57.680 these thoughts and then I go, eh, all right, and 0:15:57.680 --> 0:15:59.160 then I help in the car and put Sofia in 0:15:59.200 --> 0:16:00.800 and then we listen to songs all the way and 0:16:01.040 --> 0:16:03.760 play Rainbow Cars and life's fine. But it's just those 0:16:03.880 --> 0:16:08.160 moments where you let yourself think about the negative thoughts. 0:16:08.600 --> 0:16:11.200 So it is right, it's challenging. You're in a critic 0:16:11.240 --> 0:16:13.480 going you're being stupid and I'm not even going to 0:16:13.520 --> 0:16:15.600 buy into this stuff, and pushing it. 0:16:15.560 --> 0:16:18.680 Out, pushing it out there exactly. But also you're you're 0:16:18.680 --> 0:16:21.760 in a little stage where you're kind of nesting and 0:16:21.800 --> 0:16:25.440 you're getting ready to have another baby, and you do 0:16:25.520 --> 0:16:27.520 lose a bit of confidence because you've been through this before, 0:16:28.080 --> 0:16:30.720 that really weird feeling of when you're not needed anymore, 0:16:30.800 --> 0:16:34.080 and that's approaching when not that you're never not going 0:16:34.080 --> 0:16:35.840 to be needed this in this business at all, but 0:16:35.880 --> 0:16:39.440 it's how I felt. Hang on, Sophia's just walked in, Sofia, 0:16:40.280 --> 0:16:41.160 I'm baba girl. 0:16:41.200 --> 0:16:41.960 What have you made? 0:16:42.240 --> 0:16:46.440 My sweetheart? He made a fire? He said, how to 0:16:46.440 --> 0:16:53.080 Auntie Haley in the microphone. Now mummy and I mummy 0:16:53.120 --> 0:16:53.400 and I. 0:16:53.560 --> 0:16:59.440 Oh my god, your two mums are recording a podcast. 0:16:59.480 --> 0:17:02.680 Sweetheart, Did I go play with Plato, and I won't 0:17:02.680 --> 0:17:05.000 be long, mommy and I are busy. 0:17:08.160 --> 0:17:10.960 Anyway, Like I was saying, distracted by your beautiful little girl. 0:17:11.680 --> 0:17:14.480 You're nesting, you're getting ready, and you're getting ready for 0:17:14.480 --> 0:17:16.640 a moment where you're not needed. Not that you're never 0:17:16.680 --> 0:17:19.480 needed this in this business at all, but we will 0:17:19.520 --> 0:17:22.480 make sure this business runs perfectly without you. 0:17:22.600 --> 0:17:24.080 So when you come back, it's all fine. 0:17:24.359 --> 0:17:26.200 But there's that weird feeling of when you go off 0:17:26.200 --> 0:17:30.600 on maternity leave that you're not needed anymore, and you do, 0:17:30.640 --> 0:17:32.280 you lose so much confidence. 0:17:32.400 --> 0:17:34.879 Maybe that's where it's coming from, because you remember last 0:17:34.880 --> 0:17:38.879 time when I had Sophia. We had planned everything to 0:17:38.920 --> 0:17:41.800 with an inch of its life so that everything did 0:17:41.880 --> 0:17:44.479 run smoothie, which is what you want. And then when 0:17:44.520 --> 0:17:46.959 I came back, I remember going, I'll do this, and 0:17:46.960 --> 0:17:48.160 Mellily'd be like, oh, I've done it. 0:17:48.560 --> 0:17:49.080 I'll do this. 0:17:49.160 --> 0:17:51.320 You'd be like, oh it's done, babe, And then I 0:17:51.359 --> 0:17:54.040 was just like, my role, I don't have a purpose. 0:17:54.040 --> 0:17:56.359 I remember being in a car with you, We're driving 0:17:56.359 --> 0:17:59.560 out to Minato, and you got really emotional and you're like, 0:17:59.640 --> 0:18:01.200 I feel like I don't have a place. 0:18:00.960 --> 0:18:03.000 In this business. And then I said to you. 0:18:03.440 --> 0:18:06.040 We need you, we need you back, we need you 0:18:06.440 --> 0:18:08.520 to come back and do what you do best. And 0:18:08.560 --> 0:18:11.119 I think that you needed me to say that to you. 0:18:11.200 --> 0:18:13.239 Yeah, and then flicked a switch, Yeah, and you were 0:18:13.240 --> 0:18:15.920 back in. It was a poke between the eyes. So 0:18:15.960 --> 0:18:19.600 maybe this bit of anxiety is kind of preparing myself 0:18:20.400 --> 0:18:22.280 for that. But it's going to be okay. 0:18:22.160 --> 0:18:24.320 It's going to be fine. You've got to enjoy this 0:18:24.359 --> 0:18:26.880 little bubba. I got you. You would do the. 0:18:26.800 --> 0:18:28.760 Same for me, right, Yeah, we all got me. 0:18:29.160 --> 0:18:31.080 Yeah, love you. 0:18:31.880 --> 0:18:33.879 I love you too, And never talk to a friend 0:18:33.880 --> 0:18:36.359 like you. Talk to yourself and me either. No, but 0:18:36.400 --> 0:18:38.760 also we should have talked to ourselves like that, and 0:18:38.800 --> 0:18:41.439 don't doubt yourself because we got ya. Love you, Okay. 0:18:41.560 --> 0:18:43.120 I'm excited to talk about this. 0:18:43.280 --> 0:18:47.080 I think this is something that more women should stop 0:18:47.080 --> 0:18:49.679 and appreciate, and you should be proud to be a 0:18:49.720 --> 0:18:52.439 woman because I don't think guys get to experience this 0:18:52.600 --> 0:18:55.720 like we do. And that is the power of female 0:18:55.760 --> 0:18:58.520 friendships as an adult. So I'm going to read something 0:18:58.560 --> 0:19:01.199 to you laws that one of my best friends and 0:19:01.240 --> 0:19:03.360 also one of your great friends, Carrie, love her. 0:19:03.400 --> 0:19:05.440 She's very funny. I'm very inappropriate. 0:19:05.760 --> 0:19:09.359 She's the kind of friend that I've had for twenty 0:19:09.440 --> 0:19:14.080 something years who has been with me through the good, 0:19:14.160 --> 0:19:18.360 the bad, the scary, all the all the emotions. She's 0:19:18.359 --> 0:19:20.280 been on a wild ride with me, and she's always 0:19:20.320 --> 0:19:25.080 been that friend that is the best listener and always 0:19:25.119 --> 0:19:26.359