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Speaker 1: I'll get a team. Welcome to another installment of for

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Speaker 1: You project. My name's Craig Garthy. But doctor Jodi Richards

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Speaker 1: and Tiffany and Cook we're all here. Slow down a

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Speaker 1: little bit, Taytay, take your time. Mum used to tell

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Speaker 1: me when I was little, ta take your time because

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Speaker 1: I used to talk too fast. It's hard to believe, Tiff,

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Speaker 1: isn't it.

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Speaker 2: Who wit you? Talking fast? Talking lots?

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Speaker 1: Slow down, talking a lot, believe. Yeah, the fat, attention

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Speaker 1: seeking only child. Doctor Jody Richardson, Welcome back. How are you.

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Speaker 2: I'm good. I'm really good.

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Speaker 3: Actually, just come back from a little holiday, so that

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Speaker 3: was nice.

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Speaker 1: Where'd you go?

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Speaker 2: Went to the Gold Coast? Typical Australian family holiday destination.

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Speaker 1: It's no, It's no India, is it, Tiff.

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Speaker 4: It's no India, that's for sure. No mountain.

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Speaker 3: I know I've been following you online. Tif How incredible

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Speaker 3: is that?

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Speaker 4: A little piece of Everest, A little bit of not Everest,

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Speaker 4: but a little bit of the Himalayas that I'm carrying

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Speaker 4: around everywhere I go.

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Speaker 2: Wow, what.

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Speaker 1: I'm interested to and I mean this genuinely, I'm interested

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Speaker 1: to see the ongoing the flow on and that's not

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Speaker 1: there's no doubt there, there's just curiosity. Are you interested yourself? Me?

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Speaker 4: I am yeah, I actually am like I'm in the

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Speaker 4: middle of it and I'm kind of sitting on the

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Speaker 4: outside at the same time. It's it's it's a thing.

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Speaker 2: It's a whole thing.

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Speaker 4: I didn't expect.

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Speaker 1: Are you being the observer of youew or trying to

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Speaker 1: be the observer of you? Have you getting your ear

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Speaker 1: cart on?

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Speaker 2: Kind of kind of just what it happens.

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Speaker 4: It's very interesting because we live in this world where

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Speaker 4: you and I and doctor Jodi, we all we talk

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Speaker 4: about this stuff and we're interested in it, and we're

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Speaker 4: in the middle of it and we're doing it. And

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Speaker 4: then sometimes things come left to field and this whole

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Speaker 4: new shift and this whole newtive and it's like, oh yeah,

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Speaker 4: all right, let's evaluate all of this. It's really cool.

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Speaker 1: And you know what's interesting is us pseudo academics. Well,

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Speaker 1: Jody is an actual academic. I'm a pretend academic. But

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Speaker 1: we think we're all over it because we're fucking researching

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Speaker 1: the mind, right, I'm doing a PhD. I'm researching the mind.

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Speaker 1: I'm researching how people think. Well, guess what the fucking

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Speaker 1: the mystics have known this ship for thousands of years,

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Speaker 1: millions of years. You're way way late to the party.

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Speaker 1: Harps jumbo, do better. All the spiritual gurus know the

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Speaker 1: shit that you're now learning.

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Speaker 4: It's like funny, though, you come to a conclusion and

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Speaker 4: then the way you The thing that seems to excite

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Speaker 4: a lot of us the most is when we can

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Speaker 4: link it back to the early days and it's like see,

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Speaker 4: it's like, see, I found this new thing that already existed.

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Speaker 1: Well, I remember when I started, Jody, We'll get to

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Speaker 1: you eventually, you know.

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Speaker 2: Chilling.

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Speaker 1: I remember when I started my PhD. On day one

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Speaker 1: or day two, I was I was just trying to

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Speaker 1: find a bit of the origin story of self awareness,

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Speaker 1: you know. And was it Socrates I think said the

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Speaker 1: beginning of wisdom is to know thyself. Well that was

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Speaker 1: written I think two and a half thousand years ago.

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Speaker 1: So this motherfucker was talking about self awareness before Jesus

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Speaker 1: was even here, right, And I'm thinking, so, I'm not

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Speaker 1: really breaking any new ground over here at all. I'm

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Speaker 1: just picking up rocks that have been picked up a

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Speaker 1: million times before and going, hey, look, everyone a rock

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Speaker 1: and all the fucking dead stoics and philosophers and you know,

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Speaker 1: theologians are rolling their eyes going, no shit, you fucking

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Speaker 1: knew bie. Like literally, there's no new wisdom, is there?

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Speaker 1: I mean there's nothing. There's new data, and there's new research,

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Speaker 1: and there's new technology, but in terms of just human wisdom,

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Speaker 1: I don't really think there's a lot of new ship.

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Speaker 1: What do you think, Jodi?

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Speaker 2: I think that.

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Speaker 3: We need to find ways for the wisdom to relate

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Speaker 3: to us as individuals, and so we can read books,

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Speaker 3: we can listen to podcasts, we can watch YouTube videos.

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Speaker 3: But what you've done tip is you've traveled and you've

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Speaker 3: taken time out, and you've experienced a new way of

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Speaker 3: thinking and living, and it always opens your mind when

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Speaker 3: you're traveling. But I do think that original ideas aren't

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Speaker 3: as common as we'd.

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Speaker 2: Like to think.

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Speaker 3: But the wisdom that we develop within ourselves comes through

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Speaker 3: making sense of what others have said before us and

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Speaker 3: linking that with how we operate.

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Speaker 2: In our day to day kind of lives.

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Speaker 3: I think that there's lots of wisdom to be had,

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Speaker 3: but we become wise when we find ways to make

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Speaker 3: it our own. I suppose is what I'm trying to say.

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Speaker 1: Isn't it interesting how you can have the myriad of

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Speaker 1: conversations that all three of us have had and all

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Speaker 1: of our listeners have had. And then you know, tif,

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Speaker 1: you and I and you and many others on your

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Speaker 1: show have spoken about, you know, life and thinking and

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Speaker 1: perspective and gratitude and fucking being still and consciousness and

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Speaker 1: awareness and purpose, and we have all of these meaningful

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Speaker 1: Go look at us, Look how fucking smart we are.

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Speaker 1: Look at the quality of this fucking exchange, this cerebral

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Speaker 1: fucking gem, you know, And then you just go walk

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Speaker 1: in bare feet on a mountain on the other side

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Speaker 1: of the world and meet some beautiful people who go,

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Speaker 1: you know, and then it's like you have these light

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Speaker 1: bulbs that you never have in a conversation.

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Speaker 4: I was thinking about wisdom just just today. Actually not.

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Speaker 4: There's knowledge, and we do all this knowledge seeking and

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Speaker 4: then we apply strategies and practices and we put it

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Speaker 4: into place and we evolve ourselves and we take some

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Speaker 4: of that as wisdom. But then there was just like

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Speaker 4: I experienced these moments where a whole level of wisdom

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Speaker 4: just shifts in you and you go I know things

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Speaker 4: differently now, not through knowledge or the strategies or of practice.

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Speaker 4: Some wisdom came to me, But I think that's the

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Speaker 4: difference between wisdom and knowledge, and I don't think it

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Speaker 4: can be taught. And I think everyone's version of wisdom

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Speaker 4: is different. It's a personal thing. Or that's my interpretation

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Speaker 4: of that word at this moment.

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Speaker 1: I reckon, I reckon, you could exchange. I could be wrong,

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Speaker 1: But what you're talking about as wisdom could be insight

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Speaker 1: or awareness. Also, Yeah, it's like I've got a different

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Speaker 1: level of understanding or insight or awareness now as well.

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Speaker 1: I think those things are into and I think, like,

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Speaker 1: you know, there's knowledge and then there's what you do

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Speaker 1: with the knowledge. Now, what you do with the knowledge,

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Speaker 1: that's an indicator of wisdom or intelligence. Perhaps, you know

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Speaker 1: a lot of people know a lot of shit but

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Speaker 1: don't operationalize it in a way that makes their life better,

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Speaker 1: you know, which is why we have unhealthy doctors and

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Speaker 1: unhealthy personal trainers. No disrespect to doctors or trainers, but

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Speaker 1: it's true. It's like knowing stuff doesn't guarantee anything other

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Speaker 1: than you know stuff. You know? Yeah, So, Dr Jodi,

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Speaker 1: how have you.

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Speaker 2: Been I have been good. Actually, I've been.

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Speaker 3: Experiencing some new ways of recovery after exercise and just

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Speaker 3: to kind of like help me settle after some really

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Speaker 3: busy weeks of speaking and travel, and that includes ice

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Speaker 3: babs and saunas and frequencies for ner acoustics.

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Speaker 2: I've been diving into.

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Speaker 3: Some different experiences, which has been pretty awesome. And I

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Speaker 3: realized I thought I was a hero when I stayed

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Speaker 3: in the ice bath for ten minutes when it is

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Speaker 3: nine degrees and then the next time I went back

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Speaker 3: and it was six degrees, I was in pain.

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Speaker 2: Two minutes was all I could manage. So yeah, like

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Speaker 2: life's been good.

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Speaker 3: I've had lots of opportunities to connect and speak and

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Speaker 3: families well, and yeah, just a little family getaway has

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Speaker 3: been a nice recharge to kind of get us through

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Speaker 3: to the rest of the year and really thinking more

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Speaker 3: deeply myself about a more balanced life with more meditation

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Speaker 3: and more mindfulness. I really want to carve out more

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Speaker 3: time for quiet because I tend not to stop very much.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, that's kind of what's been going on with me.

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Speaker 1: Beautiful, beautiful summary. What was that term you used? Did

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Speaker 1: you say neuroacoustics or something.

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Speaker 2: Oh.

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Speaker 3: Yes, there's science around the frequency of sounds and music

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Speaker 3: and how it can Actually it's quite interesting because there's

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Speaker 3: a at the Recovery Lab here in Mornington there is

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Speaker 3: a session called newcom and you hyphenalm and picture this harps.

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Speaker 3: You said you've been in a hammock all day Tomorrow

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Speaker 3: you can try this. Picture this a recliner armchair. If

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Speaker 3: it's cool, they'll put a heated electric blanket under you.

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Speaker 2: You lie back with a weighted blanket on top.

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Speaker 3: You put a light blocking set of very comfortable goggles on,

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Speaker 3: and then you put headphones on that play music at

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Speaker 3: frequencies and it moves between the two sides of the headphones.

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Speaker 3: Put in left and right speakers and the I'm starting

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Speaker 3: to look into the science of it. But the idea

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Speaker 3: is that the frequency and that the sounds themselves can

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Speaker 3: really lull you into a very grounded.

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Speaker 2: State in your nervous system.

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Speaker 3: It's incredibly relaxing and really a very nice way to

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Speaker 3: kind of recalibrate. So yeah, So also that some of

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Speaker 3: the research you're showing that if you listen to music

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Speaker 3: at forty hurts that it can aid with learning motor

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Speaker 3: skills as well as cognitively as well. So I'm at

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Speaker 3: the tip of the iceberg with this reading that I've

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Speaker 3: been doing.

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Speaker 2: But it's interesting, it's interesting.

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Speaker 1: I've opened that door a little bit too. So there's

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Speaker 1: a thing called binaural beats. B I na you are

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Speaker 1: al binaural beats and also white noise, brown noise, green noise.

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Speaker 1: That yeah, all operate at those different hurts and frequencies.

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Speaker 1: And it is funny, It's like, and you think, I

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Speaker 1: think also with this, I could be wrong, but I

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Speaker 1: think that different frequencies or hurts have a slightly different

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Speaker 1: impact on different people. It's not every hurts range produces

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Speaker 1: the same response in different people. But I've got a

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Speaker 1: bunch of stuff that I play at night when I

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Speaker 1: go to bed, and it's all that. It's that white noise,

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Speaker 1: it's that brown noise, it's that. Yeah, have you opened

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Speaker 1: that door at all? Tip? The old you know, the calm,

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Speaker 1: the farm music, the fucking the calm app.

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Speaker 4: Have I ever I used to listen to. I used

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Speaker 4: to subscribe to a beautiful meditation that you put your

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Speaker 4: noisecouncsling headphones on and the sound would move around your head.

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Speaker 4: It was like to buy neural beats as well. Yes,

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Speaker 4: you could hear somebody walking on leaves around your head.

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Speaker 4: It was beautiful. Now, I listened to a yoga nidra

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Speaker 4: before bed, and that just puts me straight to sleep.

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Speaker 1: You know. One of the interesting things to come out

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Speaker 1: when I would sit with people. I sat with a

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Speaker 1: new lady this morning. I won't say her name, shout out.

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Speaker 1: She knows who she is. But sometimes I'll sit with

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Speaker 1: someone and I go, all right, let's talk about what

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Speaker 1: you want and don't want. So we go through this

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Speaker 1: whole checklist of things in their life, you know, from

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Speaker 1: house to car, to job, to relationships to you know.

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Speaker 1: But ultimately then we come back to the psychological and

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Speaker 1: emotional and you might say spiritual depending on your You know,

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Speaker 1: where you're at and what you think and what you believe.

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Speaker 1: But so many people, apart from the basics of I

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Speaker 1: want to be able to pay the bills and feed

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Speaker 1: the kids, which is of course understandable, but beyond that,

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Speaker 1: and this relates to you, doctor Jody of course, and

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Speaker 1: all of us, but they just want to be calm,

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Speaker 1: like they just don't want they don't want that inner turmoil.

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Speaker 1: It's like the thing that they want is really a

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Speaker 1: conduit to to be calm, to be less stressed, to

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Speaker 1: not be the overthinker, to not be agitated, to not

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Speaker 1: be worried. And it's like when you go, well, what's

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Speaker 1: the opposite of all of that shit? It's peace, you know,

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Speaker 1: it's tranquility, it's calm. It's it's that you know, like

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Speaker 1: we all apart from we want a few other things.

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Speaker 1: Of course we want purpose and focus, but none of us,

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Speaker 1: you know, don't want to have that internal state of

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Speaker 1: joy and calm, do we?

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Speaker 2: I agree, And I think that we live a life.

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Speaker 3: I just had a conversation for my podcast this morning

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Speaker 3: with a really interesting guest, and we were talking. She

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Speaker 3: was talking about all the exit ramps that we have

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Speaker 3: from disconnection. Sorry, all the exit ramps that we have

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Speaker 3: was the raising shoes from connection with each.

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Speaker 2: Other and with ourselves.

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Speaker 3: And I was just thinking, literally, people can go from

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Speaker 3: the very moment they wake and usually pick up their

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Speaker 3: phone to the moment they go to bed, usually on

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Speaker 3: the phone in bed, scrolling or whatever, and very little

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Speaker 3: space for the brain to just rest for contemplation, for

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Speaker 3: that calm in the nervouses and even in the car

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Speaker 3: this morning.

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Speaker 2: Our daughter was on her phone.

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Speaker 3: She's limited to two hours a day, but she was

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Speaker 3: in the car and I said, put it down.

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Speaker 2: We don't have to have the radio on.

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Speaker 3: We can just actually give our brains a little break,

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Speaker 3: a little rest from the input.

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Speaker 2: And I don't know what.

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Speaker 3: Is that drives us all so furiously to feel every

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Speaker 3: minute of every day, but that sense of calm is

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Speaker 3: within reach for us if we know how. And before

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Speaker 3: joining you here, I did a non sleep deep rest

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Speaker 3: because I honestly could have just fallen asleep and had

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Speaker 3: a nap. So I set my alarm because I feel

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Speaker 3: super tired. Probably daylight savings. But there are tools that

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Speaker 3: we can use. We just need to prioritize it that

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Speaker 3: we have access to that more than perhaps what we

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Speaker 3: might realize, but we never stopped to use them because

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Speaker 3: we feel like, oh, I got to keep going, there's

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Speaker 3: no time. And the irony of it is that we

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Speaker 3: are cut our lives shorter and we're missing out on

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Speaker 3: actually enjoying the people around us and the things that

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Speaker 3: we're doing because we're just always looking for, you know,

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Speaker 3: what we need to tick off and move to next.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, it's definitely something I've been thinking about and

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Speaker 3: talking to my eye rolling teenager.

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Speaker 1: Isn't that you sound like a mum, but it is

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Speaker 1: so true. Like I'm I've become aware that I'm on

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Speaker 1: my phone more than I should be. I need to

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Speaker 1: be on my phone at times because of my work,

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Speaker 1: but I'm on it way more than I need to be.

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Speaker 1: You know, my intention every morning, unless I'm coaching someone

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Speaker 1: or meeting with someone. But I get to the cafe

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Speaker 1: at quarter past six, and you know, I fuck around

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Speaker 1: fifteen minutes. This is my plan. And then from kind

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Speaker 1: of six thirty to seven thirty, just emails, planning, writing notes,

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Speaker 1: you know, blah blah blah. But sometimes I look up

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Speaker 1: and at seven thirty and I've been fucking around for

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Speaker 1: an hour and a quarter. Like just the thing, too,

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Speaker 1: is like, once the algorithm or whatever it is, understands

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Speaker 1: what you pay attention to, I'm fucked because all it's

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Speaker 1: got to do is just oh, look like with Tiff,

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Speaker 1: all it is is, here's another puppy, you know, that'll

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Speaker 1: get me a baby go for me. It's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: here's another motibike, brand new motibike who does a million

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Speaker 1: miles an hour. You know, or whatever it is. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: I've I've really had to. I've started to put my

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Speaker 1: phone in the other room. And because even when I

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Speaker 1: doing some things, but even now I'm aware, it's like

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Speaker 1: it's here, it's upside down and it's turned off. But

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Speaker 1: I I wish I had remembered before the thing to

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Speaker 1: put it in the other room because I'm better. I

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Speaker 1: know that's done. But even if it's turned off and

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Speaker 1: facing down, it still occupies three percent of my brain. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: nowhere near me. Yeah, my focus is better go on, Yeah, totally.

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Speaker 2: And that that's I think.

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Speaker 3: I've heard Paul Taylor talk about this for about the

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Speaker 3: research showing that if it's just oh Christie, doctor Christy Goodman,

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Speaker 3: perhaps it was probably both. If it's even within our eyesight, eyeline,

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Speaker 3: you know that it does, it does. It's got this pool.

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Speaker 3: It's like this magnetic pool, and even if we're not

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Speaker 3: picking it up, we can withstand that it is occupying

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Speaker 3: a certain portion of our attention. And it's designed that way.

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Speaker 3: And you know, I think about, oh my gosh, like

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Speaker 3: kids with phones and the algorithm. And one thing that

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Speaker 3: I learned recently at a conference. I don't know whether

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Speaker 3: or not you've heard this Tier four harps, but something

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Speaker 3: like TikTok for example, you would think that the videos

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Speaker 3: that you like, you know, you actually actively press the

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Speaker 3: heart button on, would be the ones that the algorithm

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Speaker 3: would say, yes, she likes this, he likes that, send more.

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Speaker 3: In fact, the algorithm is designed to send you more

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Speaker 3: of what you spend time on, even if you don't

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Speaker 3: actively engage with the post. And there's fascinating and quite

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Speaker 3: terrifying research around eating disorders, for example, whereby if you

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Speaker 3: in starting to get that kind of information in your feed,

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Speaker 3: you might even get videos that are really unappealing, like

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Speaker 3: they're hard to look at because there might be somebody

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Speaker 3: who's extremely underweight, for example, but we tend to focus

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Speaker 3: on those, and we might linger a little bit longer

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Speaker 3: on a video like that, and that young women with

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Speaker 3: eating disorders are getting served up just a disproportionate amount

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Speaker 3: of these kinds of videos.

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Speaker 2: And yet, like, intellectually we know that we're on our.

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Speaker 3: Phones and it's junk or it's just time wasting, but

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Speaker 3: it's incredibly hard to actually go, oh, snap out of it,

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Speaker 3: put it down and get on with something more meaningful.

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Speaker 3: It's hard for us as adults, so it's near impossible

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Speaker 3: for our teens so tough.

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Speaker 1: I've had this conversation with somebody who works in their

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Speaker 1: space and there are actually influences in inverted commas who

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Speaker 1: teach generally young girls, but we'll say young people how

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Speaker 1: to essentially how to be anorexic and how to dress,

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Speaker 1: how to get away with it, how to trick people

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Speaker 1: to think that you're eating.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's there's some there's some devastatingly toxic stuff, you know.

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Speaker 1: At our disposal, I want to I want to ask

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Speaker 1: both you a hardish question. I'll start with you Jody,

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Speaker 1: so tif this gives you a little bit of think

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Speaker 1: time because it's the same question right now for you,

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Speaker 1: doctor Jody, what is being courageous for you? What's the

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Speaker 1: thing that you need to be courageous about that for

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Speaker 1: you is scary, but you know you need to lean

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Speaker 1: into it or step into it to whatever. What's the

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Speaker 1: thing that scares you but you know you need to

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Speaker 1: do it?

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Speaker 2: Oh well, I can't.

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Speaker 3: Anything that is big enough in my life to be

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Speaker 3: scaring me at the moment. But I've been thinking about

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Speaker 3: what do I need to introduce into my life that

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Speaker 3: will scare me somewhat right, And I'm not practicing karate anymore,

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Speaker 3: and that was that took courage and commitment to not

359
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Speaker 3: only obviously stick to the training but also grade. And

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Speaker 3: I have been in a couple of competition fights, which honestly,

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Speaker 3: I'll try to see if I can dig out of video,

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Speaker 3: Craig and send it to you.

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Speaker 2: I think I've said that to you before. I'll see

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Speaker 2: if I can find one.

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Speaker 3: I'm kind of feeling at a point in my life

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Speaker 3: where doing the things that require courage Now. I guess

367
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Speaker 3: recently getting in a nice bath that was hard, but

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Speaker 3: it's you know, it's just being comfortable. Sorry, it's not

369
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Speaker 3: really been. It was just about tolerating the discomfort. I

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Speaker 3: don't think that really required courage. Yeah, so you've really

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Speaker 3: got me thinking, you know, I guess I need to

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Speaker 3: show up more online. I need to spend more time

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Speaker 3: kind of promoting I guess what I do that That

374
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Speaker 3: does make me feel anxious, but I do it. And

375
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Speaker 3: I've got so many blocks on my social media on

376
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Speaker 3: my phone during the day that it's a there's a

377
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Speaker 3: lot of friction to even post.

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Speaker 2: A quick.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, you've you've asked a question that I can't

380
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Speaker 3: really answer, and not because I'm not willing like I'm

381
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:50,240
Speaker 3: always willing to say.

382
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Speaker 2: You know, we've got some really.

383
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Speaker 3: Hard stuff going on at the moment with like Pete's

384
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Speaker 3: mum has Alzheimer's and my my dad's in a world

385
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:05,240
Speaker 3: of pain, and there are very big challenges we're facing.

386
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Speaker 3: But I don't I can't think of anything that's drawing

387
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:11,960
Speaker 3: on a huge amount of courage at the moment, and

388
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Speaker 3: it's something I'd like to address.

389
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Speaker 2: So I'm not sure how.

390
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:18,560
Speaker 1: Wow, maybe things are good. That's always good. What about

391
00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:22,080
Speaker 1: you tipany and cook? Is there anything that brings to

392
00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:22,960
Speaker 1: mind when I ask that?

393
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:27,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think especially coming back and having some clarity

394
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Speaker 4: about what I need to do and what I want

395
00:22:29,359 --> 00:22:34,720
Speaker 4: to do and what's not working. It takes courage when

396
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:37,000
Speaker 4: you wake up each day and you realize you have

397
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:41,879
Speaker 4: to change the routine and the behaviors that you now know,

398
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:45,919
Speaker 4: Like it's because you know when you realize what's underneath,

399
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:49,000
Speaker 4: Like when for people like me, when you sit and

400
00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:53,200
Speaker 4: actually realize why do I stay busy twenty four to seven?

401
00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:55,840
Speaker 4: Like one of the things when I got to India,

402
00:22:56,840 --> 00:23:00,000
Speaker 4: one of the questions I thought of from nowhere? Is

403
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:03,240
Speaker 4: living alone really the best for me? Should I get

404
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:06,040
Speaker 4: out of my comfort zone and get a bigger apartment

405
00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:09,480
Speaker 4: and just share it with another human because my social

406
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:13,480
Speaker 4: health probably requires some love.

407
00:23:14,119 --> 00:23:17,760
Speaker 1: But also you do have that baseball cap that says fuck.

408
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:21,760
Speaker 2: Off, though exactly, I'll tell you know what. I'll tell you.

409
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:26,000
Speaker 4: This feels funny, and like when I was in India,

410
00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:29,159
Speaker 4: this took courage and I realized the significance of it afterwards.

411
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:33,360
Speaker 4: We shared some really deep stuff in our first night

412
00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:36,120
Speaker 4: on the mountain with the other people. Everybody shared things

413
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:39,080
Speaker 4: they'd never shared I'd share. I shared things in full

414
00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:41,680
Speaker 4: that I'd never shared with anyone as well, So we

415
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:45,199
Speaker 4: had a really big connection. A lot of people on

416
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:49,159
Speaker 4: this show. No, my background is of childhood sexual abuse,

417
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:50,800
Speaker 4: so there's a lot of stuff there with men and

418
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:53,679
Speaker 4: trust and all of the things, and testing myself when

419
00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:55,560
Speaker 4: I talked about that. And then I had one night

420
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Speaker 4: in Delhi before Shannon flew back from the mountain and

421
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:01,440
Speaker 4: I was like, well, I can't I live. The hotel

422
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:03,639
Speaker 4: was very scary, and Dellie and I went to the

423
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:07,240
Speaker 4: gym and I was chatting to this guy, this guy

424
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:07,880
Speaker 4: that lived.

425
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:10,960
Speaker 2: In South Indian India, and he.

426
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:13,120
Speaker 4: Invited me to come for dinner. After we were chatting Brady,

427
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:15,000
Speaker 4: he goes, I'm going to go for dinner you want

428
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:18,320
Speaker 4: Do you want to come? And I said yes. And

429
00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:21,240
Speaker 4: then I was like sitting in my room, going, You're

430
00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:23,880
Speaker 4: in a country you don't know, that's terrifying, with more

431
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:26,440
Speaker 4: people in the whole place than there is in all

432
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:30,240
Speaker 4: of Australia, and You're going to go meet some stranger

433
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:31,840
Speaker 4: in the lobby who's going to take you to some

434
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:35,000
Speaker 4: place that he says he's going to take you. I'm like,

435
00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:36,960
Speaker 4: is this a good idea? No one knows where you are?

436
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:39,040
Speaker 2: And this is I.

437
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:40,840
Speaker 4: Put the story on Facebook because it was quite funny

438
00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:43,520
Speaker 4: what happened, Like we got a bloody tire blowout in

439
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:45,399
Speaker 4: the you, but then we had to cature two trains

440
00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:47,240
Speaker 4: to get there. And I'm thinking, am I like? Am

441
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:48,200
Speaker 4: I going to go to dinner?

442
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:50,080
Speaker 2: Am I going to be on the.

443
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:56,000
Speaker 4: News next week? But afterwards, the significance of trusting myself

444
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:59,240
Speaker 4: to judge the character of the man I just met,

445
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:03,080
Speaker 4: and to set a boundary and to speak up and

446
00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:06,399
Speaker 4: to be clear in what I was agreeing to was

447
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:09,560
Speaker 4: a really, really courageous thing for me to do and

448
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:10,960
Speaker 4: it felt significant.

449
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:16,680
Speaker 1: So yeah, awesome, awesome, And how did you so you

450
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:19,000
Speaker 1: didn't get chopped up and turned into a cast role,

451
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:22,359
Speaker 1: So that's good. I thought that that was ever going

452
00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:27,240
Speaker 1: to happen. But how so how did you feel? Firstly,

453
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:28,040
Speaker 1: was it a good night?

454
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:28,480
Speaker 2: Yeah?

455
00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:31,000
Speaker 4: It was brilliant, Like we went to Old Deli and

456
00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:33,520
Speaker 4: it was chaos, right, and I wouldn't have seen that.

457
00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:35,439
Speaker 4: I wouldn't And I said to him, this was really

458
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:38,280
Speaker 4: I'm really glad I said yes to doing this. I

459
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:41,120
Speaker 4: would never have seen this at this time of night,

460
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:44,480
Speaker 4: and I never would have had that crazy, funny story.

461
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:47,919
Speaker 4: And he was really polite and really accommodating and it

462
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:48,560
Speaker 4: was wonderful.

463
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:52,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's great, that's great. How do you I mean,

464
00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:55,480
Speaker 1: you two as it's a bit different for you, Jody

465
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:59,000
Speaker 1: because you're married, but you've both been through like navigating

466
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:03,720
Speaker 1: a big part of your life relationships. And I'm a dude,

467
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:05,720
Speaker 1: so I don't get it like a woman gets it,

468
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:09,639
Speaker 1: because you know, I don't have to assess risk in

469
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:12,920
Speaker 1: the way that you two have to assess risk. Right,

470
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:19,840
Speaker 1: how do you How did you navigate all of that? Jody?

471
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:23,360
Speaker 1: With figuring out who to trust and who not to trust,

472
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:27,119
Speaker 1: and what to say yes to and know to. Is that, like,

473
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:31,080
Speaker 1: is that a real cognitive psychological thing or is that

474
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:34,760
Speaker 1: an instinctive or intuitive thing? What was that? What is

475
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:35,360
Speaker 1: that for you?

476
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:38,480
Speaker 2: I mean, I was.

477
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:40,600
Speaker 3: Reflecting a couple of days ago, how lucky I was.

478
00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:43,960
Speaker 3: I didn't get myself into any real trouble as sort

479
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:47,480
Speaker 3: of a teenager or young adult going out and being

480
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:52,119
Speaker 3: very trusting, being very trusting, and not having any sense

481
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:57,679
Speaker 3: of listening to my gut or even perhaps noticing that

482
00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:01,040
Speaker 3: my guts maybe telling me don't and then ignoring it.

483
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:06,920
Speaker 3: I started to become again like with karate, I started

484
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:07,880
Speaker 3: that when I was forty.

485
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:09,840
Speaker 2: That was when I first.

486
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:13,359
Speaker 3: Really started to think about, you know, my own gut

487
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:17,439
Speaker 3: and listening to that, my own personal safety. I was

488
00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:21,639
Speaker 3: terrified as a new driver at eighteen nineteen years of age,

489
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:26,360
Speaker 3: when the Paul Charles Daniel, the serial killer in Frankston

490
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:30,159
Speaker 3: was you know, taking women and killing them, and one

491
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,600
Speaker 3: of them died right near my high school. One of

492
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:34,399
Speaker 3: them died right near where I had netle training. It

493
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:36,720
Speaker 3: was all very close to home, so I had this

494
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:42,200
Speaker 3: sense of fear. But I didn't have this instinctive understanding

495
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:45,320
Speaker 3: about what my body could tell me about safety and danger.

496
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:47,880
Speaker 2: And you know what you were saying.

497
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:51,600
Speaker 3: Before, Tiff, when you said you were like asking the question,

498
00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:55,280
Speaker 3: and Craig you asked about courage. You know, I guess

499
00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:58,080
Speaker 3: I went straight to, oh, courage has to be you know,

500
00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:02,800
Speaker 3: something big. But it I think sometimes courage is just

501
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:06,080
Speaker 3: facing the world every day. It doesn't always have to be,

502
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:09,040
Speaker 3: you know, a raw It can be a little whisper

503
00:28:09,119 --> 00:28:14,760
Speaker 3: sometimes just to say no or to do something that's

504
00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:18,000
Speaker 3: a little bit out of your comfort zone. Anything like

505
00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:21,360
Speaker 3: that can take courage. So my answer before was kind

506
00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:25,199
Speaker 3: of about the big things, but it does take courage to,

507
00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:28,040
Speaker 3: like tif, when you're in a situation like that, to

508
00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:31,159
Speaker 3: be invited somewhere and to be offered an opportunity and

509
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:33,800
Speaker 3: then to listen to that guard instinct and to say, actually,

510
00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:36,200
Speaker 3: something about this does doesn't feel right.

511
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:40,840
Speaker 2: I am always on alert. I am always with.

512
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:42,840
Speaker 3: My head on a sivol when I'm walking to my car,

513
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:49,360
Speaker 3: you know, sometimes parked in multi story car parks in Melbourne.

514
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:51,239
Speaker 3: When I'm speaking at an event and I'm walking there

515
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:56,440
Speaker 3: on my own, I'm on high alert now and much

516
00:28:56,520 --> 00:29:02,720
Speaker 3: more tuned in to myself. But you know, when my

517
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:04,960
Speaker 3: dad was in hospital recently after having a stroke and

518
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:07,280
Speaker 3: I was walking from the emergency department back to my car,

519
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:09,760
Speaker 3: my brother was visiting. I said to him, gosh, it's

520
00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:11,920
Speaker 3: a long dark walk for any nurses who are parked

521
00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:14,800
Speaker 3: over here, and he said, I would have never thought

522
00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:16,760
Speaker 3: of that. It would never have crossed my mind, the

523
00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:20,680
Speaker 3: safety considerations, and so it's very front of.

524
00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:22,040
Speaker 2: Mine for me now.

525
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:25,120
Speaker 3: But yeah, gosh, I put myself in some positions when

526
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:27,120
Speaker 3: I was younger that I could have been in trouble.

527
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:31,520
Speaker 3: But thankfully, you know, I'm not in a casserole somewhere either.

528
00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:39,680
Speaker 1: Thankfully, I think I love this conversation because I'm the same.

529
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:43,520
Speaker 1: I would think about it, but only because of I

530
00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:46,479
Speaker 1: spend time with people like you two, right, But in

531
00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:48,880
Speaker 1: my natural habitat, I would never think about it. It's

532
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:53,640
Speaker 1: like nearly every night in my life, many nights, probably

533
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:55,680
Speaker 1: three hundred nights a year, I go for a walk

534
00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:58,280
Speaker 1: in the dark late and I go I walk in

535
00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:01,840
Speaker 1: bare feet, and I walk around suburb and I have

536
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:06,600
Speaker 1: headphones on. So if someone hock and let's not put

537
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:10,080
Speaker 1: any suggestions out there, but you know, it's like, I

538
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:13,720
Speaker 1: don't even think about it, and if I see someone

539
00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:20,200
Speaker 1: walking towards me, I have no fear. I'm not saying

540
00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:23,000
Speaker 1: that's because I'm a fucking legend. I'm not, you know,

541
00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:26,440
Speaker 1: but I just don't whereas if I was, if I was,

542
00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 1: you know, a smaller, less strong female, I guess I

543
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:36,280
Speaker 1: would probably walk to the other side of the road

544
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:40,200
Speaker 1: or maybe he fucking you know. But yeah, when you're

545
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:44,720
Speaker 1: a dude and you're big and kind of strong and whatever, yeah,

546
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:47,600
Speaker 1: we don't have to think about that, you know, And

547
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:50,160
Speaker 1: so it's such a different like doing the same thing

548
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:51,840
Speaker 1: as a different experience, right, TIV.

549
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:55,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, you just made me think of I was walking

550
00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:57,240
Speaker 4: home one day and I was just near my house

551
00:30:57,280 --> 00:31:00,000
Speaker 4: and in the dark, and there was this person walking

552
00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:04,080
Speaker 4: towards me and a bit wobbly and out of sorts,

553
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:06,840
Speaker 4: and you know when people look like, oh, this person

554
00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:10,040
Speaker 4: looks under the influence on high alert. And from a distance,

555
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 4: they looked up and was a female, and she smiled

556
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:17,960
Speaker 4: and she said hi or said something, and she had

557
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:20,920
Speaker 4: a physical some sort of a physical disability that was

558
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:24,440
Speaker 4: making her walk like that. And I felt like this

559
00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:27,320
Speaker 4: rush of two emotions. I felt really grateful that she,

560
00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:31,040
Speaker 4: as a female, obviously knew it was dark and there

561
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:33,040
Speaker 4: was something odd about how she was walking and that

562
00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:36,240
Speaker 4: would elicit fear in somebody else. And then I felt

563
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:41,600
Speaker 4: really kind of guilty at myself for judging someone who

564
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:44,720
Speaker 4: had to highlight that and have a disability and was

565
00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:48,080
Speaker 4: thinking more of me than them, Like it was, Yeah, I.

566
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:50,560
Speaker 1: Don't think I don't think you judged. I think that's

567
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:53,800
Speaker 1: just like your brain's job is to protect you, so

568
00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:57,320
Speaker 1: your brain recognizes things, and it would have been you know,

569
00:31:57,840 --> 00:31:59,920
Speaker 1: it could have been in nine out of ten, on

570
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:03,000
Speaker 1: nine turn out of twenty instances, someone kind of stumbling

571
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:06,920
Speaker 1: towards you would have meant something different. So there's no

572
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:12,200
Speaker 1: conscious nasty judgment in that. But another just will finish

573
00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:15,800
Speaker 1: this bit of the conversation. Anyway, if I'm walking in

574
00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:19,000
Speaker 1: the dark and somebody's on the same side of the

575
00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:22,880
Speaker 1: street walking towards me, and it's a female, I will

576
00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:26,200
Speaker 1: cross the road so they don't feel scared. Or if

577
00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:28,560
Speaker 1: I walk out my side gate, you know where that

578
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:31,080
Speaker 1: is tif right, If I walk out my side gate

579
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:34,160
Speaker 1: and somebody is two steps ahead of me as I

580
00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:38,720
Speaker 1: walk out, and it's a lady I will not follow them.

581
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:42,240
Speaker 1: You know. It's like I'm heading left and they're walking left.

582
00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:45,320
Speaker 1: They're two steps in front of me. I walk out

583
00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:48,200
Speaker 1: the gate. Now I'm fucking six feet behind them walking.

584
00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:54,360
Speaker 1: I know that that's potentially fucking terrifying. So I'll walk

585
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:56,880
Speaker 1: to the other side of the road and head in

586
00:32:56,920 --> 00:33:02,280
Speaker 1: the direction, but not near. I just I'm very you know,

587
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:04,760
Speaker 1: I'm very aware of that. Like most of the people

588
00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:07,160
Speaker 1: that I coach and mentor and most of our listeners

589
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:10,840
Speaker 1: and most of the people who come to my workshops, women,

590
00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:13,520
Speaker 1: and so I just I have this, and I'm very

591
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:16,040
Speaker 1: grateful for my job because it's given me an insight

592
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:18,680
Speaker 1: and an awareness that I would, you know, if I

593
00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:21,400
Speaker 1: was no disrespect to the plumbers, But if I was

594
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:25,200
Speaker 1: a plumber, I wouldn't have this, you know, this level

595
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:27,880
Speaker 1: of awareness that I have because of my job, although

596
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:30,800
Speaker 1: maybe maybe plumbers do, I don't know.

597
00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:35,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that, Jody.

598
00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:38,360
Speaker 1: We're not going yet, but you and I are speaking

599
00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:41,400
Speaker 1: at you and I are talking at a gig next

600
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:43,840
Speaker 1: week a what do we call it? Do we call

601
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:46,920
Speaker 1: it a collai? It's called a late and it's being

602
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:49,800
Speaker 1: run by no Elevate.

603
00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:52,800
Speaker 2: Isn't it no relate late relate but.

604
00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:56,080
Speaker 1: Good thing, good thing. I'm not in charge of pr

605
00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:59,200
Speaker 1: Jody and I are talking at an event called Relate,

606
00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:03,400
Speaker 1: which is being put on by eighty nine point nine

607
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:08,720
Speaker 1: l F in Melbourne's Positive Alternative and we're doing Tuesday

608
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:14,279
Speaker 1: night and Wednesday night at two different locations. And what's

609
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:17,160
Speaker 1: hilarious is one hundred years ago I used to do

610
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:20,920
Speaker 1: a morning show on light FM called the Grand Standards

611
00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:25,280
Speaker 1: every Saturday with Jane O'Brien, the gorgeous Jon O'Brien for years.

612
00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:27,839
Speaker 1: Well I'm trying, By the way, do you know who

613
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:31,440
Speaker 1: Jan O'Brien is, either of you to I don't so

614
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:35,680
Speaker 1: lovely Jane fucking hell. I'll get back to the topic

615
00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:39,480
Speaker 1: in the moment, but this is worth dtering. So Jane

616
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:44,319
Speaker 1: is an exercise physiologist. She's a gun, super smart. I

617
00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:47,600
Speaker 1: don't say this lightly, one of my top ten favorite

618
00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:49,279
Speaker 1: people in the world. And I know a lot of

619
00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:57,520
Speaker 1: people and just the most beautiful, generous soul. And I

620
00:34:57,560 --> 00:35:01,080
Speaker 1: can't talk too much or I get teary, but but

621
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:04,879
Speaker 1: oh I take a breath, so.

622
00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:14,040
Speaker 2: Thank your time.

623
00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:25,040
Speaker 1: I'm a big baby. So anyway, she had cystic fibrosis,

624
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:30,080
Speaker 1: which if you know anything about cystic fibrosis, it's not

625
00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:33,640
Speaker 1: consistent with a long life. And she had a thing

626
00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:40,480
Speaker 1: called bronchie extasis, which is worse right, And so her

627
00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:44,120
Speaker 1: lung capacity was down to I think somewhere around thirty percent.

628
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:49,319
Speaker 1: And I will fuck this story up a little bit,

629
00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:51,400
Speaker 1: but this is as well as I know it anyway.

630
00:35:51,680 --> 00:35:55,160
Speaker 1: So we finished working together years ago. But after we

631
00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:57,840
Speaker 1: finished working, she just got sicker and sicker to the

632
00:35:57,880 --> 00:36:03,040
Speaker 1: point where she needed a double lung transplant. Oh gosh,

633
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:08,080
Speaker 1: that was emotional, And isn't it funny how things I'm

634
00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:12,560
Speaker 1: fucking like people I care about, oh, which I care

635
00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:14,840
Speaker 1: about most people, doesn't take much. I'm a big fucking

636
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:19,600
Speaker 1: big baby anyway, So yes, we're coming.

637
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:21,360
Speaker 2: Back to this. I'm a big baby. But finish what

638
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:21,920
Speaker 2: you were saying.

639
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:24,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, no, I love crying on my own podcast.

640
00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:26,439
Speaker 1: I didn't cry everyone. I almost cried, or I cried

641
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:30,000
Speaker 1: a little bit. But Jane was Jane ended up in

642
00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:34,200
Speaker 1: hospital and intensive care needing a double lung transplant, on

643
00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:38,359
Speaker 1: a waiting list, and it was not looking great and

644
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:43,399
Speaker 1: she was pretty much at death's door. And I might

645
00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:45,840
Speaker 1: fuck this bit up, so I might have to correct

646
00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:50,000
Speaker 1: this in another episode, but my understanding is that she

647
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:52,680
Speaker 1: was very close to where they were about to switch

648
00:36:52,719 --> 00:36:56,880
Speaker 1: everything off and say, you know, and her husband Pete,

649
00:36:56,920 --> 00:37:00,400
Speaker 1: who also I love, who's also a beautiful human, he

650
00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:06,040
Speaker 1: basically said, just give her another day or so, just

651
00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:09,719
Speaker 1: give her another day or so. And that day, I

652
00:37:09,719 --> 00:37:12,080
Speaker 1: think it was, I don't know, a few hours after

653
00:37:12,239 --> 00:37:15,759
Speaker 1: he pleaded with the medical staff to give her a

654
00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:20,880
Speaker 1: little bit more time. She got some lungs, and she

655
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:25,879
Speaker 1: got some lungs, and so she's now ten months down

656
00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:30,400
Speaker 1: the track, and she's very alive, still recovering, and still

657
00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:35,359
Speaker 1: has a very, very whispery voice. I don't know how

658
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:37,680
Speaker 1: I started talking about Jane. I can't remember the origin

659
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:43,439
Speaker 1: story for this, but light FM. Oh that's right, thanks Tiff. So, yeah,

660
00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:45,719
Speaker 1: we did Jane, and I had Jane and I had

661
00:37:45,719 --> 00:37:48,279
Speaker 1: a show for a very long time. And it's like,

662
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:51,960
Speaker 1: you know, do you ever do Sometimes I'm a shit friend.

663
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:56,280
Speaker 1: It's like I love people, but I feel like, because

664
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:58,880
Speaker 1: she had all this going on, so we were talking, talking,

665
00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:01,040
Speaker 1: and then in the middle of all of it, and

666
00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:04,880
Speaker 1: I feel like I wasn't the best friend and I

667
00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:07,759
Speaker 1: meant to. I should have rung her a month or

668
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:09,520
Speaker 1: two ago. I haven't spoken her for a while, and

669
00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:13,120
Speaker 1: I rang her last week and even ringing, I felt

670
00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:16,120
Speaker 1: guilty to ring, but then I couldn't leave it any

671
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:18,960
Speaker 1: longer and I just started with I started with I'm

672
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:22,919
Speaker 1: a shit friend. I apologize. I love you, I'm shit.

673
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:27,920
Speaker 1: You're a better human than me. Right But anyway, anyway,

674
00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:30,880
Speaker 1: that was a story no one needed here. But thank god, literally,

675
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:35,080
Speaker 1: thank god she's on the mend and shout out to

676
00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:38,480
Speaker 1: you Joanie and family. But anyway, so you and I

677
00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:40,400
Speaker 1: are doing a gig for Light of FM. Tell everyone

678
00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:42,400
Speaker 1: what it's about because it's free. I don't know if

679
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:46,120
Speaker 1: there are any tickets still available, but give us the snapshot.

680
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:51,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, So Tuesday the fifteenth and Wednesday the sixteenth, they're

681
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:55,640
Speaker 3: the same event, essentially in two different locations. So one's

682
00:38:55,640 --> 00:38:58,520
Speaker 3: in the east of Melbourne and one is in the west.

683
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:01,880
Speaker 3: And I don't have the exact details of the locations,

684
00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:03,960
Speaker 3: but you'll find them on the website, which is eighty

685
00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:07,360
Speaker 3: nine point nine the light dot com dot are you

686
00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:13,160
Speaker 3: and yeah, it's they're free events for obviously you're speaking,

687
00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:16,040
Speaker 3: I'm speaking, doctor Danny Cheer is speaking. He's a child

688
00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:19,520
Speaker 3: and an adolescent psychiatrist. But it's not a parenting event. It's

689
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:23,000
Speaker 3: an event, an event for people who want to come

690
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:27,080
Speaker 3: along and learn ideas and get strategies and have connection

691
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:31,480
Speaker 3: with people like us and each other who can help change,

692
00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:35,000
Speaker 3: you know, how they're experiencing their mental health. And I'm

693
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:37,280
Speaker 3: going to be speaking about the science of happiness and wellbeing,

694
00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:39,640
Speaker 3: so I'm not going to be talking about anxiety per se.

695
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:43,560
Speaker 3: And yeah, they are magnificent events. I had the joy

696
00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:46,680
Speaker 3: of speaking last year and gosh, we must have had

697
00:39:46,719 --> 00:39:49,640
Speaker 3: about eight hundred odd people in the room. And the

698
00:39:49,719 --> 00:39:52,600
Speaker 3: connection people have with each other as well as you know,

699
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:55,200
Speaker 3: with those of us that are lucky enough to have

700
00:39:55,239 --> 00:39:59,040
Speaker 3: a chance to get the microphone, very very special. So yeah,

701
00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:02,240
Speaker 3: free tickets. Need to reserve your seat by the website.

702
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:08,000
Speaker 1: You know. I don't know if I should tell this story,

703
00:40:08,239 --> 00:40:11,080
Speaker 1: but by the way, everyone, if you want to come along,

704
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:14,600
Speaker 1: go to the tickets are free, which is an amazing,

705
00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:19,279
Speaker 1: an amazing opportunity. I think, not to see me, but

706
00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:21,640
Speaker 1: see the other two will be good. I'm up the end.

707
00:40:21,239 --> 00:40:23,600
Speaker 1: I've been put up the back, so you can leave

708
00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:28,719
Speaker 1: after the first two if you want. But what was

709
00:40:28,719 --> 00:40:29,359
Speaker 1: it going to say to.

710
00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:30,759
Speaker 3: You were going to tell a story that you said

711
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:32,399
Speaker 3: you didn't think you should tell. But I think that's

712
00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:33,719
Speaker 3: every reason to tell it.

713
00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:38,960
Speaker 1: That's right. So there was a point in time, like

714
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:41,560
Speaker 1: I was working at Lighter FM, right, And it's not

715
00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:46,359
Speaker 1: like I was the most I was probably not in

716
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:48,799
Speaker 1: some ways the best fit, but in some ways not

717
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:53,439
Speaker 1: the best fit because I'm me and it was it's

718
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:58,319
Speaker 1: now more a it's still a Christian based station, but

719
00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:00,960
Speaker 1: it's fair to say that I wasn't the high water up.

720
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:04,880
Speaker 1: But how you know, a person of that faith should

721
00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:08,919
Speaker 1: perhaps behave And I think what happened was I could

722
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:12,440
Speaker 1: be wrong. I think they discovered I'd written a book

723
00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:17,400
Speaker 1: with fuck on the front, and I think I think

724
00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:20,279
Speaker 1: they well, I think they knew that, but I think

725
00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:23,000
Speaker 1: they started to get feedback from some of the listeners

726
00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:27,360
Speaker 1: and not my listeners, but just some of the people

727
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:29,720
Speaker 1: that knew, Oh, they've got this guy on the show

728
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:33,120
Speaker 1: on the station that has written a book called Stop

729
00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:37,319
Speaker 1: Fucking Around, and this is meant to be so yeah.

730
00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:39,400
Speaker 1: I So we had a bit of a chat and

731
00:41:39,400 --> 00:41:41,960
Speaker 1: I went listen, it's probably it's best for you and

732
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:45,160
Speaker 1: best for me. And then I got a phone call

733
00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:49,000
Speaker 1: a month ago from MJ. Want who's is the program director,

734
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:49,319
Speaker 1: isn't he?

735
00:41:49,719 --> 00:41:51,959
Speaker 2: I think of listener engagement there he.

736
00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:54,600
Speaker 1: Is, and he's like, mate, we would love you to

737
00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:57,000
Speaker 1: come and speak at this light event. I go, well,

738
00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:59,800
Speaker 1: you know, I say fuck right, and he's like he laughed,

739
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:02,320
Speaker 1: and he goes, yeah, we're well aware. I go, you

740
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:06,240
Speaker 1: know that, And I think I think he was saying

741
00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:09,680
Speaker 1: something that they're they've evolved a little bit. There are

742
00:42:09,719 --> 00:42:13,520
Speaker 1: probably a little bit more, you know, So I'll try

743
00:42:13,560 --> 00:42:15,960
Speaker 1: to keep the fucks to a minimum next Tuesday and Wednesday.

744
00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:18,720
Speaker 1: Jodie is my long winded kind of message.

745
00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:22,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, now look at you know when I when they started,

746
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 3: we were talking about them producing my podcast.

747
00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:26,799
Speaker 2: We had lots of chats m J.

748
00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:30,680
Speaker 3: And me, and we you know, he said, you know

749
00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:34,680
Speaker 3: that the station has listeners who are you know, there

750
00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:38,520
Speaker 3: for the Christian content and you know, you know, really

751
00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:40,880
Speaker 3: clear on their faith. There are those that are searching

752
00:42:40,920 --> 00:42:43,239
Speaker 3: and looking for something more. And there are others that

753
00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:47,960
Speaker 3: aren't Christian and not interested, but looking for you know,

754
00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:51,040
Speaker 3: positive and uplifting is the branding of course, and and

755
00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:51,759
Speaker 3: that's what it is.

756
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:53,560
Speaker 2: So yeah, so it's really it's really good.

757
00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:56,680
Speaker 3: They MJ listened to every single one of my podcast

758
00:42:56,680 --> 00:43:00,920
Speaker 3: episodes before inviting me to become part of the Light family.

759
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:04,239
Speaker 3: As we say, so good thing that I kept it

760
00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:06,680
Speaker 3: clean all along, or they wouldn't have probably want.

761
00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:07,560
Speaker 2: To be on board.

762
00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:11,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, they do do a good job. And like,

763
00:43:11,360 --> 00:43:14,839
Speaker 1: I've worked in a bunch of radio stations. And what

764
00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:20,279
Speaker 1: was interesting was I was working at SEN, which is

765
00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:25,600
Speaker 1: obviously a commercial station at the same time, and the

766
00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:30,959
Speaker 1: facilities and studios and resources at that time at light

767
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:35,960
Speaker 1: FM was significantly better than SEN. And light FM is

768
00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:40,080
Speaker 1: a community station that is run like a commercial station

769
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:45,400
Speaker 1: in terms of like the way like their production, their

770
00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:50,279
Speaker 1: facilities and resources. It's yeah, it's it's world class. It's

771
00:43:50,360 --> 00:43:52,560
Speaker 1: run like I mean, I've worked at Gold FM. I've

772
00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:55,759
Speaker 1: worked at a bunch of stations. It's literally just like

773
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:59,000
Speaker 1: working into a walking into a high level commercial station.

774
00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:02,759
Speaker 1: So they must be doing something right. All right, let's

775
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:10,399
Speaker 1: head down the home straight. Where do people start in this?

776
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:12,960
Speaker 1: I mean, I know there's no three step plan, but

777
00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:17,160
Speaker 1: maybe from both of you, this kind of idea of

778
00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:22,120
Speaker 1: how do I, how do I better manage me? How

779
00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:24,879
Speaker 1: do I better self regulate? TIF do you have any

780
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:29,120
Speaker 1: insights into this, like, how do I that idea of equanimity?

781
00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:31,560
Speaker 1: How do I be the calm in the chaos, because

782
00:44:32,239 --> 00:44:35,280
Speaker 1: there's always going to be chaos around us at times.

783
00:44:36,160 --> 00:44:37,440
Speaker 1: None of us are going to be living in a

784
00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:42,160
Speaker 1: cave on a mat, you know. So you moving forward?

785
00:44:42,239 --> 00:44:45,000
Speaker 1: Do you have a plan now that you're back from

786
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:50,160
Speaker 1: this kind of somewhat philosophical spiritual experience or are you

787
00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:51,680
Speaker 1: just going with the.

788
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:54,560
Speaker 2: Flow a little bit of both.

789
00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:57,759
Speaker 4: Really, we spent one thing we spent a lot of

790
00:44:57,840 --> 00:45:02,040
Speaker 4: time on there before hitting the mountain, which said a

791
00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:07,840
Speaker 4: lot of intentions was workshopping our identity, our kind of

792
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:13,560
Speaker 4: I am statement, who am I? And what sound like

793
00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:16,440
Speaker 4: wanky terms, but our mission and purpose. But when you

794
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:22,680
Speaker 4: actually sit down and really drill down on that, you

795
00:45:23,080 --> 00:45:25,040
Speaker 4: learn a lot about yourself. And I just feel like

796
00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:29,880
Speaker 4: the world is different to me now because I was

797
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:35,040
Speaker 4: experiencing it through this foggy lens of not really recognizing

798
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:41,920
Speaker 4: what values were driving me. And so when I, I

799
00:45:41,920 --> 00:45:45,400
Speaker 4: should say, when I can recognize that now other people's

800
00:45:46,320 --> 00:45:50,640
Speaker 4: actions or experiences or the people around me, I feel

801
00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:53,320
Speaker 4: like I'm responding differently to the more I'm not responding

802
00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:56,520
Speaker 4: to them because I'm just clear on what matters to

803
00:45:56,600 --> 00:45:59,880
Speaker 4: me and I'm looking at that and not all the

804
00:45:59,880 --> 00:46:01,360
Speaker 4: other stuff, if that makes sense.

805
00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:02,640
Speaker 1: Yeah.

806
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:09,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's interesting. That's simple and somewhat wanky stuff, you know,

807
00:46:10,280 --> 00:46:12,680
Speaker 4: to go, oh, we're going to go on, We're going

808
00:46:12,760 --> 00:46:17,720
Speaker 4: to our mission and purpose, but it's like it it matters.

809
00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:23,880
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. Well, also the idea of kind of stepping

810
00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:27,640
Speaker 1: out of the unconsciousness of your life, you know, where

811
00:46:28,239 --> 00:46:31,760
Speaker 1: like life happens anyway, right, I mean, life just goes

812
00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:34,400
Speaker 1: on and then you look up and you go, oh fuck,

813
00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:39,640
Speaker 1: and now I'm fifty shit shit, and it's it's and

814
00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:43,000
Speaker 1: that's not really anybody's goal is to have that Oh fuck,

815
00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:46,759
Speaker 1: I'm fifty and this wasn't my plan. Yeah, but is

816
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:49,919
Speaker 1: to start to whatever this means for the individual, live

817
00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:57,200
Speaker 1: more aligned, live more consciously, genuinely even in the busyness,

818
00:46:57,239 --> 00:47:03,239
Speaker 1: and mayhem, to be more aware you know, what about you, doc,

819
00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:04,120
Speaker 1: what about you?

820
00:47:05,920 --> 00:47:09,240
Speaker 3: Yeah? Very much aligned with what you were saying, Tiff,

821
00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:12,840
Speaker 3: I've been that there's a concept in acceptance and commitment

822
00:47:12,840 --> 00:47:15,839
Speaker 3: therapy called the choice point, and that.

823
00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:18,960
Speaker 2: You know, multiple times, dozens of times during.

824
00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:22,000
Speaker 3: The day, we've got this opportunity to consider whether or

825
00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:25,400
Speaker 3: not something's taking us towards what's really important to us,

826
00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:27,839
Speaker 3: our values, which is exactly what you were talking about

827
00:47:27,880 --> 00:47:33,040
Speaker 3: tif or Away, and I am I've just got that

828
00:47:33,520 --> 00:47:36,160
Speaker 3: awareness about the choice point kind of more top of

829
00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:39,600
Speaker 3: mind at the moment. And so, like a small example,

830
00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:43,440
Speaker 3: like I love chocolate, all right, I love it, and

831
00:47:44,680 --> 00:47:47,160
Speaker 3: but I buy a Fredo frog because there is an

832
00:47:47,280 --> 00:47:49,680
Speaker 3: end to that. It's only like thirty five grams or something,

833
00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:52,200
Speaker 3: so I can indulge, but I'm not eating a whole

834
00:47:52,280 --> 00:47:53,439
Speaker 3: block of Cabri dairy milk.

835
00:47:54,080 --> 00:47:59,360
Speaker 1: Do you know you're just talking to a version of you.

836
00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:01,560
Speaker 4: You know, you can get giant fretdo's too, and they

837
00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:02,280
Speaker 4: taste better.

838
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:05,759
Speaker 2: Well, they're giant Frettos that I'm buying to, you know,

839
00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:07,359
Speaker 2: Like they're the ones that I buy.

840
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:10,160
Speaker 3: But just for example, like yesterday they're on sale at Woollies,

841
00:48:10,280 --> 00:48:12,040
Speaker 3: Like they're overpriced for what they are, but they were

842
00:48:12,040 --> 00:48:13,440
Speaker 3: a dollar each. I'm like, I'm going to buy two,

843
00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:15,799
Speaker 3: put one in the in the drawer, and when I

844
00:48:15,960 --> 00:48:18,080
Speaker 3: ate one yesterday, I don't normally I usually have like

845
00:48:18,160 --> 00:48:21,719
Speaker 3: one one a week or something, but I thought, I want, oh,

846
00:48:21,719 --> 00:48:23,600
Speaker 3: I want to eat that other fredo the minute I'd

847
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:26,640
Speaker 3: finished the first, and then this choice point came into

848
00:48:26,640 --> 00:48:28,480
Speaker 3: my mind. I'm like, no, well, I mean be cause

849
00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:30,480
Speaker 3: I'm fifty, I'm on the other side of I mean,

850
00:48:30,520 --> 00:48:34,560
Speaker 3: I'm through menopause. My I'm still crossfitting, but my body

851
00:48:34,560 --> 00:48:37,160
Speaker 3: shape is changing, my body fat levels are higher than

852
00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:40,920
Speaker 3: they've ever been, you know, for me, And I'm conscious

853
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:42,959
Speaker 3: of these things, and i want my health, i want

854
00:48:42,960 --> 00:48:45,440
Speaker 3: my strength, i want my vitality for the next fifty

855
00:48:45,520 --> 00:48:49,000
Speaker 3: And so I'm like, choice point, Okay, towards are away. Okay,

856
00:48:49,040 --> 00:48:52,560
Speaker 3: eating that second fretto is definitely away. If I was

857
00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:54,520
Speaker 3: a party, If I was at a party, it would

858
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:58,640
Speaker 3: be towards. So context matters. But I'm keeping in mind

859
00:48:58,680 --> 00:49:02,239
Speaker 3: this idea that you know, it's hard. It takes effort

860
00:49:02,480 --> 00:49:06,359
Speaker 3: to do good by ourselves, it really does. And I'm

861
00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:09,920
Speaker 3: trying to listen and then and then when that resistance

862
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:12,760
Speaker 3: comes up, because we will go to a concert tonight,

863
00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:15,120
Speaker 3: we'll be home really late, I've got CrossFit booked in

864
00:49:15,160 --> 00:49:18,000
Speaker 3: the morning. There will be resistance, but I will go

865
00:49:18,120 --> 00:49:21,359
Speaker 3: because it's important. And so, yeah, this choice point is

866
00:49:21,400 --> 00:49:25,680
Speaker 3: something that I'm I'm really keeping in mind it's simple

867
00:49:26,280 --> 00:49:29,200
Speaker 3: and it's quite powerful. We just have to listen when

868
00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:35,600
Speaker 3: we get our answer. Sorry, but before just sorry, I'm

869
00:49:35,640 --> 00:49:39,000
Speaker 3: so sorry to interruptive Craig. Before we finish our recording today.

870
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:42,919
Speaker 3: This is something that I just wanted to just quickly mention.

871
00:49:43,200 --> 00:49:44,759
Speaker 3: So can we just make sure we save a little

872
00:49:44,960 --> 00:49:47,080
Speaker 3: just a minute or two for something I just want

873
00:49:47,120 --> 00:49:48,040
Speaker 3: to share towards the end.

874
00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:51,480
Speaker 2: Sure, Okay, thanks, Sorry, Tiff, go go, That's all right.

875
00:49:51,520 --> 00:49:53,759
Speaker 4: I was just going to say I wrote the first

876
00:49:53,840 --> 00:49:55,919
Speaker 4: day I came back. I wrote on my whiteboard, which

877
00:49:55,920 --> 00:49:58,319
Speaker 4: is in front of me. Now, will I do what's

878
00:49:58,400 --> 00:50:01,960
Speaker 4: required today to be I want to be tomorrow? And

879
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:04,800
Speaker 4: then I've got I'll show you three post it notes.

880
00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:08,160
Speaker 4: I've got one that just say will I. I've got

881
00:50:08,160 --> 00:50:10,839
Speaker 4: one on my bathroom mirror, one on the inside of

882
00:50:10,840 --> 00:50:13,000
Speaker 4: my front door that I see when I leave the house,

883
00:50:13,080 --> 00:50:15,040
Speaker 4: and one on the fridge.

884
00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:16,440
Speaker 2: And in my head all day.

885
00:50:16,320 --> 00:50:18,680
Speaker 4: I'm like, will I will I will I'm doing five

886
00:50:18,680 --> 00:50:21,880
Speaker 4: minute meditations twice a day just to stop and pause.

887
00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:23,759
Speaker 4: It's like, am I going to let my heart rate

888
00:50:23,880 --> 00:50:27,360
Speaker 4: go back up thirteen beats a minute till it's usual?

889
00:50:27,920 --> 00:50:29,680
Speaker 4: Or am I going to keep it to the thirteen

890
00:50:29,719 --> 00:50:33,200
Speaker 4: beats a minute lower resting heart rate I had from

891
00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:36,600
Speaker 4: being in India. Do you know, like it's so yeah,

892
00:50:36,640 --> 00:50:39,680
Speaker 4: I found that a really a good practice for me.

893
00:50:40,600 --> 00:50:43,880
Speaker 1: That's quite an amazing You know what I love about that?

894
00:50:45,239 --> 00:50:48,400
Speaker 1: That well, I love about your new regime in the

895
00:50:48,440 --> 00:50:50,680
Speaker 1: house and your post it notes, but I love that

896
00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:55,200
Speaker 1: there is a measurable outcome. Like the thing with psychology

897
00:50:55,239 --> 00:50:57,720
Speaker 1: and the motions and stuff, it's kind of hard to measure,

898
00:50:57,840 --> 00:51:02,200
Speaker 1: right because it's you know, it's very subjective, but heart

899
00:51:02,320 --> 00:51:06,600
Speaker 1: rate is not subjective. It's like it's a number. Yeah,

900
00:51:06,680 --> 00:51:09,480
Speaker 1: it's a number of beats in a minute. And I

901
00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:14,160
Speaker 1: mean thirteen beats lower on average is a fucking lot.

902
00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:17,280
Speaker 4: That is substantious lower than it's ever been. It's sitting.

903
00:51:17,320 --> 00:51:18,479
Speaker 2: It wasn't back, and it.

904
00:51:18,440 --> 00:51:23,400
Speaker 4: Wasn't it was it normally sits high fifties to low sixties,

905
00:51:23,480 --> 00:51:26,200
Speaker 4: so probably fifty eight to sixty one. I got home

906
00:51:26,280 --> 00:51:29,280
Speaker 4: and it's been sitting on it was forty seven, forty

907
00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:32,760
Speaker 4: seven and those last few nights, I'm having a glass

908
00:51:32,800 --> 00:51:35,960
Speaker 4: of wine with dinner. Now, if I have wine before

909
00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:39,359
Speaker 4: bed would normally raise my heart rate overnight, So I'm

910
00:51:39,360 --> 00:51:41,680
Speaker 4: doing all that, but what it tells me is that

911
00:51:41,920 --> 00:51:45,920
Speaker 4: hole that's switching off, that presence and that social aspect

912
00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:47,840
Speaker 4: to my life. And it's like, well, there's your answer.

913
00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:50,160
Speaker 4: There's where you need to do the work.

914
00:51:50,640 --> 00:51:55,960
Speaker 1: You know. What's like almost ironic here is that you

915
00:51:56,000 --> 00:52:03,680
Speaker 1: want to desperately hold on to that, but without the desperation. Yeah,

916
00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:08,320
Speaker 1: because the desperation desperate, Yeah, the desperation will fuck.

917
00:52:08,160 --> 00:52:13,320
Speaker 2: It up, right, Yeah, yeah, hold it lightly, Hold it lightly.

918
00:52:14,440 --> 00:52:17,280
Speaker 1: It's been a really interesting chat you too, doctor Jodie.

919
00:52:17,320 --> 00:52:20,680
Speaker 1: Before we go, you wanted to share something, so now

920
00:52:20,760 --> 00:52:23,120
Speaker 1: would be then I wanted.

921
00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:25,920
Speaker 3: To just in terms of what you were saying earlier

922
00:52:26,640 --> 00:52:30,319
Speaker 3: about the lung transplant. Tiff and I had the joy

923
00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:33,080
Speaker 3: of speaking at a VIC poll women's well being day

924
00:52:33,120 --> 00:52:35,160
Speaker 3: and we also got to listen to somebody to speak

925
00:52:35,160 --> 00:52:38,759
Speaker 3: about organ donation and I learned a lot and I

926
00:52:38,760 --> 00:52:42,399
Speaker 3: thought this was this would be, you know, a nice

927
00:52:42,400 --> 00:52:44,680
Speaker 3: opportunity to kind of just touch on that, to let

928
00:52:44,680 --> 00:52:48,160
Speaker 3: people know that we can, we have to opt into

929
00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:52,439
Speaker 3: organ donation, but our family members have the final say

930
00:52:53,080 --> 00:52:57,439
Speaker 3: on the day that that question might be asked. And

931
00:52:57,840 --> 00:52:59,960
Speaker 3: I learned this incredible. I won't know, I won't recall

932
00:53:00,040 --> 00:53:04,200
Speaker 3: the numbers. Maybe tif we'll remember more clearly. But for

933
00:53:04,239 --> 00:53:06,520
Speaker 3: your organs to be donated, you need to die in

934
00:53:06,640 --> 00:53:10,160
Speaker 3: hospital in the intensive care unit, where you're breathing and

935
00:53:10,200 --> 00:53:12,080
Speaker 3: your heart are already.

936
00:53:11,680 --> 00:53:13,040
Speaker 2: Kind of really being supported.

937
00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:17,360
Speaker 3: And because the circumstances under which organs can be donated

938
00:53:17,440 --> 00:53:21,680
Speaker 3: is so specific, out of tens of thousands of people

939
00:53:21,680 --> 00:53:24,440
Speaker 3: who said yes to it, only about fifteen hundred people

940
00:53:24,440 --> 00:53:28,120
Speaker 3: can donate organs in the end, at the end of

941
00:53:28,120 --> 00:53:30,960
Speaker 3: the day because of that, and there are people's lives

942
00:53:30,960 --> 00:53:33,960
Speaker 3: who are just absolutely changed and transformed as a result.

943
00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:37,160
Speaker 3: So I thought, yeah, since you mentioned it earlier, I thought, probably,

944
00:53:37,400 --> 00:53:39,759
Speaker 3: you know, not something we like to think about. But

945
00:53:40,400 --> 00:53:43,080
Speaker 3: we're all, you know, walking each other home, as my

946
00:53:43,120 --> 00:53:47,640
Speaker 3: guest said this morning on in our conversation, and the

947
00:53:47,719 --> 00:53:49,239
Speaker 3: day will come for all of us, and I think

948
00:53:49,280 --> 00:53:51,680
Speaker 3: it's important for us to all think about and let

949
00:53:51,719 --> 00:53:54,600
Speaker 3: our family know what our wants are, what our desires

950
00:53:54,640 --> 00:53:56,680
Speaker 3: are around that wow.

951
00:53:56,800 --> 00:54:01,520
Speaker 4: And know what our families and see it as a legacy.

952
00:54:01,560 --> 00:54:04,520
Speaker 4: I remember when we listened to John speak on that

953
00:54:05,640 --> 00:54:08,360
Speaker 4: the legacy of him being able to gift that life

954
00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:11,960
Speaker 4: to people has given him something that helps with the

955
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:13,720
Speaker 4: grief of what he lost.

956
00:54:14,200 --> 00:54:16,399
Speaker 3: You're exactly right because you interviewed him, didn't you, Tiff,

957
00:54:16,520 --> 00:54:19,200
Speaker 3: So you're exactly right because it was with his wife,

958
00:54:19,239 --> 00:54:21,480
Speaker 3: wasn't it that he said, yes, and I think her

959
00:54:21,560 --> 00:54:22,680
Speaker 3: kidney went to a little boy.

960
00:54:22,719 --> 00:54:23,640
Speaker 2: And I'm going to get all.

961
00:54:23,640 --> 00:54:29,319
Speaker 3: Choked up, but yeah, it's very personal, it's very difficult.

962
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:32,319
Speaker 3: But yeah, we should let our families know because at

963
00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:33,719
Speaker 3: the end of the day, they are the ones that

964
00:54:33,800 --> 00:54:34,680
Speaker 3: get the final say.

965
00:54:34,719 --> 00:54:37,359
Speaker 2: Even if we've registered and ticked all the boxes, it's

966
00:54:37,440 --> 00:54:37,960
Speaker 2: up to them.

967
00:54:38,200 --> 00:54:40,960
Speaker 3: So yeah, so thank thanks Harps for the chance to

968
00:54:41,800 --> 00:54:43,120
Speaker 3: just raise that here.

969
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:45,520
Speaker 2: I must do it on my own podcast as well.

970
00:54:45,520 --> 00:54:50,160
Speaker 1: It's important, pleasure, it's a great message. I saw a

971
00:54:50,239 --> 00:54:54,680
Speaker 1: video the other day on when I shouldn't have been

972
00:54:54,719 --> 00:54:59,040
Speaker 1: scrolling but fuck it, And there was this dad. He

973
00:54:59,239 --> 00:55:03,759
Speaker 1: was probably my age, maybe a bit younger, and his

974
00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:06,680
Speaker 1: son had passed away. His son was in his twenties

975
00:55:07,440 --> 00:55:11,879
Speaker 1: and then he meant went and met the recipient who

976
00:55:11,920 --> 00:55:16,680
Speaker 1: had gotten his son's heart. Oh my god. And they

977
00:55:17,120 --> 00:55:20,560
Speaker 1: that organized this get together and they put a stethoscope

978
00:55:20,600 --> 00:55:26,839
Speaker 1: on the dad so he could listen to the son's heart. Wow. Yeah,

979
00:55:26,840 --> 00:55:31,800
Speaker 1: that was it. That was it. I was out. I'm like, fuck,

980
00:55:32,120 --> 00:55:35,000
Speaker 1: why did I It's like, you know those things that

981
00:55:35,040 --> 00:55:37,480
Speaker 1: are beautiful. It's like I'm glad I'm watching this, but

982
00:55:37,600 --> 00:55:42,759
Speaker 1: now I'm fucked for the next three minutes. Yeah anyway, Yeah,

983
00:55:42,880 --> 00:55:46,440
Speaker 1: Dr Jody, How do people find you? What's your show called?

984
00:55:46,640 --> 00:55:48,920
Speaker 1: Where can they connect with you? What's your web address?

985
00:55:49,520 --> 00:55:52,040
Speaker 1: Sell us a book or two? Ready set, no pressure, go.

986
00:55:54,080 --> 00:55:56,520
Speaker 3: Just if you go to my website. Dr Jodi Richson

987
00:55:57,120 --> 00:55:58,960
Speaker 3: dot com dot au Jody with an eye. But I

988
00:55:58,960 --> 00:56:01,480
Speaker 3: love how you say the name of my podcast halps,

989
00:56:01,520 --> 00:56:02,080
Speaker 3: go for it.

990
00:56:02,280 --> 00:56:02,960
Speaker 2: You know what to do?

991
00:56:03,800 --> 00:56:04,040
Speaker 4: Well?

992
00:56:04,120 --> 00:56:12,360
Speaker 1: Her podcast is called well Hello Anxiety. You need to

993
00:56:12,440 --> 00:56:14,480
Speaker 1: use me. You need to use me in your primo.

994
00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:16,719
Speaker 2: I do, I do, I do.

995
00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:19,040
Speaker 3: I've got lots of ideas about some updates. So yeah,

996
00:56:19,040 --> 00:56:20,000
Speaker 3: I'll keep that in mind.

997
00:56:21,400 --> 00:56:25,040
Speaker 1: Well, we appreciate you, Tiff. Keep riding that bloody zen

998
00:56:25,120 --> 00:56:28,280
Speaker 1: train without the anxiety. Don't hold on to it desperately,

999
00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:31,760
Speaker 1: hold on to it lightly. Just between your your pinky

1000
00:56:31,840 --> 00:56:34,359
Speaker 1: finger and whatever the one next to it's called maybe

1001
00:56:34,400 --> 00:56:38,239
Speaker 1: your pinky finger and your thumb. Yeah, just that, yeah,

1002
00:56:38,360 --> 00:56:39,640
Speaker 1: like that? Like that? Perfect?

1003
00:56:39,719 --> 00:56:40,080
Speaker 4: All right?

1004
00:56:40,080 --> 00:56:43,240
Speaker 1: Everyone, love your guts. Thank you, Thanks Tiff, Thanks Jody,

1005
00:56:43,480 --> 00:56:44,200
Speaker 1: Thanks guys.

1006
00:56:44,239 --> 00:56:44,479
Speaker 2: Bye,