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Speaker 1: I'll get a team. Welcome to another installment of for

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Speaker 1: You project. My name's Craig Garthy. But doctor Jodi Richards

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Speaker 1: and Tiffany and Cook we're all here. Slow down a

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Speaker 1: little bit, Taytay, take your time. Mum used to tell

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Speaker 1: me when I was little, ta take your time because

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Speaker 1: I used to talk too fast. It's hard to believe, Tiff,

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Speaker 1: isn't it?

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Speaker 2: Who wit you? Talking fast? Talking lots?

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Speaker 1: Slow down, talking a lot?

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Speaker 3: Believe it?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the fat, attention seeking only child. Doctor Jody Richardson.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back. How are you?

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Speaker 3: I'm good. I'm really good.

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Speaker 4: Actually, just come back from a little holiday, so that

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Speaker 4: was nice.

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Speaker 1: Where'd you go?

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Speaker 3: Went to the Gold Coast? Typical Australian family holiday destination.

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Speaker 1: It's no, It's no India, is it, Tiff.

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Speaker 2: It's no India, that's for sure. No mountain.

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Speaker 4: I know I've been following you online. Tif How incredible

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Speaker 4: is that? A little piece of Everest.

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Speaker 2: A little bit of not Everest, but a little bit

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Speaker 2: of the Himalayas that I'm carrying around everywhere I go.

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Speaker 3: Wow, what.

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Speaker 1: I'm interested to and I mean this genuinely, I'm interested

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Speaker 1: to see the ongoing the flow on, and that's not

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Speaker 1: there's no doubt there, there's just curiosity. Are you interested yourself? Me?

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Speaker 2: I am yeah, I actually am like I'm in the

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Speaker 2: middle of it and I'm kind of sitting on the

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Speaker 2: outside at the same time. It's it's it's a thing.

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Speaker 2: It's a whole thing. I didn't expect.

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Speaker 1: Are you being the observer of youew or trying to

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Speaker 1: be the observer of you? Have you getting your ear

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Speaker 1: cart on?

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Speaker 2: Kind of kind of just what it happens. It's very

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Speaker 2: interesting because we live in this world where you and

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Speaker 2: I and doctor Jodi, we all we talk about this

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Speaker 2: stuff and we're interested in it, and we're in the

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Speaker 2: middle of it and we're doing it. And then sometimes

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Speaker 2: things come left to field and this whole new shift

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Speaker 2: and this whole newtive and it's like, oh yeah, all right,

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Speaker 2: let's evaluate all of this. It's really cool.

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Speaker 1: And you know what's interesting is us pseudo academics. Well,

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Speaker 1: Jody is an actual academic. I'm a pretend academic, but

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Speaker 1: we think we're all over it because we're fucking researching

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Speaker 1: the mind. Right, I'm doing a PhD. I'm researching the mind.

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Speaker 1: I'm researching how people think. Well, guess what the fucking

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Speaker 1: the mystics have known this ship for thousands of years,

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Speaker 1: millions of years. You're way way late to the party.

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Speaker 1: Harps jumbo, do better. All the spiritual gurus know the

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Speaker 1: shit that you're now learning.

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Speaker 2: It's like funny, though, you come to a conclusion and

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Speaker 2: then the way you The thing that seems to excite

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Speaker 2: a lot of us the most is when we can

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Speaker 2: link it back to the early days and it's like see,

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Speaker 2: it's like, see, I found this new thing that already existed.

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Speaker 1: Well, I remember when I started, Jody, We'll get to

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Speaker 1: you eventually, you know.

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Speaker 3: Chilling.

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Speaker 1: I remember when I started my PhD. On day one

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Speaker 1: or day two, I was I was just trying to

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Speaker 1: find a bit of the origin story of self awareness,

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Speaker 1: you know. And was it Socrates I think said the

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Speaker 1: beginning of wisdom is to know thyself. Well that was

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Speaker 1: written I think two and a half thousand years ago.

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Speaker 1: So this motherfucker was talking about self awareness before Jesus

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Speaker 1: was even here, right, And I'm thinking, so, I'm not

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Speaker 1: really breaking any new ground over here at all. I'm

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Speaker 1: just picking up rocks that have been picked up a

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Speaker 1: million times before and going, hey, look, everyone a rock

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Speaker 1: and all the fucking dead stoics and philosophers and you know,

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Speaker 1: theologians are rolling their eyes going, no shit, you fucking

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Speaker 1: knew bie. Like literally, there's no new wisdom, is there?

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Speaker 1: I mean there's nothing. There's new data, and there's new research,

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Speaker 1: and there's new technology, but in terms of just human wisdom,

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Speaker 1: I don't really think there's a lot of new ship.

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Speaker 1: What do you think, Jodi?

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Speaker 3: I think that.

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Speaker 4: We need to find ways for the wisdom to relate

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Speaker 4: to us as individuals, and so we can read books,

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Speaker 4: we can listen to podcasts, we can watch YouTube videos.

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Speaker 4: But what you've done tip is you've traveled and you've

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Speaker 4: taken time out, and you've experienced a new way of

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Speaker 4: thinking and living, and it always opens your mind when

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Speaker 4: you're traveling. But I do think that original ideas aren't

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Speaker 4: as common as we'd like to think. But the wisdom

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Speaker 4: that we develop within ourselves comes through making sense of

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Speaker 4: what others have said before us and linking that with

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Speaker 4: how we operate.

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Speaker 3: In our day to day kind of lives.

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Speaker 4: I think that there's lots of wisdom to be had,

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Speaker 4: but we become wise when we find ways.

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Speaker 3: To make it our own. I suppose is what I'm

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Speaker 3: trying to say.

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Speaker 1: Isn't it interesting how you can have the myriad of

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Speaker 1: conversations that all three of us have had and all

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Speaker 1: of our listeners have had. And then you know, tif,

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Speaker 1: you and I and you and many others on your

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Speaker 1: show have spoken about, you know, life and thinking and

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Speaker 1: perspective and gratitude and fucking being still and consciousness and

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Speaker 1: awareness and purpose, and we have all of these meaningful

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Speaker 1: Go look at us, Look how fucking smart we are.

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Speaker 1: Look at the quality of this fucking exchange, this cerebral

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Speaker 1: fucking gem, you know, And then you just go walk

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Speaker 1: in bare feet on a mountain on the other side

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Speaker 1: of the world and meet some beautiful people who go,

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Speaker 1: you know, and then it's like you have these light

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Speaker 1: bulbs that you never have in a conversation.

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Speaker 2: I was thinking about wisdom just just today. Actually not.

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Speaker 2: There's knowledge, and we do all this knowledge seeking and

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Speaker 2: then we apply strategies and practices and we put it

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Speaker 2: into place and we evolve ourselves and we take some

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Speaker 2: of that as wisdom. But then there was just like

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Speaker 2: I experienced these moments where a whole level of wisdom

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Speaker 2: just shifts in you and you go I know things

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Speaker 2: differently now, not through knowledge or the strategies or of practice.

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Speaker 2: Some wisdom came to me, But I think that's the

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Speaker 2: difference between wisdom and knowledge, and I don't think it

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Speaker 2: can be taught. And I think everyone's version of wisdom

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Speaker 2: is different. It's a personal thing. Or that's my interpretation

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Speaker 2: of that word at this moment.

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Speaker 1: I reckon, I reckon, you could exchange. I could be wrong,

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Speaker 1: But what you're talking about as wisdom could be insight

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Speaker 1: or awareness. Also, Yeah, it's like I've got a different

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Speaker 1: level of understanding or insight or awareness now as well.

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Speaker 1: I think those things are into and I think, like,

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Speaker 1: you know, there's knowledge and then there's what you do

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Speaker 1: with the knowledge. Now, what you do with the knowledge,

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Speaker 1: that's an indicator of wisdom or intelligence. Perhaps, you know

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Speaker 1: a lot of people know a lot of shit but

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Speaker 1: don't operationalize it in a way that makes their life better,

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Speaker 1: you know, which is why we have unhealthy doctors and

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Speaker 1: unhealthy personal trainers. No disrespect to doctors or trainers, but

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Speaker 1: it's true. It's like knowing stuff doesn't guarantee anything other

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Speaker 1: than you know stuff. You know? Yeah, So, Dr Jodi,

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Speaker 1: how have you.

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Speaker 3: Been I have been good. Actually, I've been.

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Speaker 4: Experiencing some new ways of recovery after exercise and just

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Speaker 4: to kind of like help me settle after some really

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Speaker 4: busy weeks of speaking and travel, and that includes ice

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Speaker 4: babs and saunas and frequencies for ner acoustics.

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Speaker 3: I've been diving into.

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Speaker 4: Some different experiences, which has been pretty awesome. And I

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Speaker 4: realized I thought I was a hero when I stayed

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Speaker 4: in the ice bath for ten minutes when it is

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Speaker 4: nine degrees and then the next time I went back

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Speaker 4: and it was six degrees, I was in pain. Two

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Speaker 4: minutes was all I could manage. So yeah, like life's

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Speaker 4: been good. I've had lots of opportunities to connect and

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Speaker 4: speak and families well, and yeah, just a little family

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Speaker 4: getaway has been a nice recharge to kind of get

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Speaker 4: us through to the rest of the year and really

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Speaker 4: thinking more deeply myself about a more balanced life with

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Speaker 4: more meditation and more mindfulness. I really want to carve

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Speaker 4: out more time for quiet because I tend not to

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Speaker 4: stop very much.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, that's kind of what's been going on with me.

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Speaker 1: Beautiful, beautiful summary. What was that term you used? Did

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Speaker 1: you say neuroacoustics or something.

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Speaker 4: Oh. Yes, there's science around the frequency of sounds and

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Speaker 4: music and how it can Actually it's quite interesting because

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Speaker 4: there's a at the Recovery Lab here in Mornington there

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Speaker 4: is a session called newcom and you hyphenalm and picture

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Speaker 4: this harps. You said you've been in a hammock all

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Speaker 4: day Tomorrow you can try this. Picture this a recliner armchair.

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Speaker 4: If it's cool, they'll put a heated electric blanket under you.

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Speaker 4: You lie back with a weighted blanket on top. You

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Speaker 4: put a light blocking set of very comfortable goggles on,

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Speaker 4: and then you put headphones on that play music at

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Speaker 4: frequencies and it moves between the two sides of the headphones.

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Speaker 4: Put in left and right speakers and the I'm starting

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Speaker 4: to look into the science of it. But the idea

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Speaker 4: is that the frequency and that the sounds themselves can

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Speaker 4: really lull you into a very grounded state.

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Speaker 3: In your nervous system.

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Speaker 4: It's incredibly relaxing and really a very nice way to

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Speaker 4: kind of recalibrate. So yeah, So also that some of

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Speaker 4: the research you're showing that if you listen to music

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Speaker 4: at forty hurts that it can aid with learning motor

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Speaker 4: skills as well as cognitively as well. So I'm at

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Speaker 4: the tip of the iceberg with this reading that I've

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Speaker 4: been doing.

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Speaker 3: But it's interesting, it's interesting.

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Speaker 1: I've opened that door a little bit too. So there's

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Speaker 1: a thing called binaural beats. B I na you are

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Speaker 1: al binaural beats and also white noise, brown noise, green noise.

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Speaker 1: That yeah, all operate at those different hurts and frequencies.

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Speaker 1: And it is funny, It's like, and you think, I

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Speaker 1: think also with this, I could be wrong, but I

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Speaker 1: think that different frequencies or hurts have a slightly different

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Speaker 1: impact on different people. It's not every hurts range produces

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Speaker 1: the same response in different people. But I've got a

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Speaker 1: bunch of stuff that I play at night when I

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Speaker 1: go to bed, and it's all that. It's that white noise,

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Speaker 1: it's that brown noise, it's that. Yeah, have you opened

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Speaker 1: that door at all? Tip? The old you know, the calm,

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Speaker 1: the farm music, the fucking the calm app.

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Speaker 2: Have I ever I used to listen to. I used

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Speaker 2: to subscribe to a beautiful meditation that you put your

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Speaker 2: noisecouncsling headphones on and the sound would move around your head.

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Speaker 2: It was like to buy neural beats as well. Yes,

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Speaker 2: you could hear somebody walking on leaves around your head.

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Speaker 2: It was beautiful. Now, I listened to a yoga nidra

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Speaker 2: before bed, and that just puts me straight to sleep.

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Speaker 1: You know. One of the interesting things to come out

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Speaker 1: when I would sit with people. I sat with a

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Speaker 1: new lady this morning. I won't say her name, shout out.

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Speaker 1: She knows who she is. But sometimes I'll sit with

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Speaker 1: someone and I go, all right, let's talk about what

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Speaker 1: you want and don't want. So we go through this

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Speaker 1: whole checklist of things in their life, you know, from

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Speaker 1: house to car, to job, to relationships to you know.

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Speaker 1: But ultimately then we come back to the psychological and

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Speaker 1: emotional and you might say spiritual depending on your You know,

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Speaker 1: where you're at and what you think and what you believe.

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Speaker 1: But so many people, apart from the basics of I

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Speaker 1: want to be able to pay the bills and feed

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Speaker 1: the kids, which is of course understandable, but beyond that,

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Speaker 1: and this relates to you, doctor Jody of course, and

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Speaker 1: all of us, but they just want to be calm,

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Speaker 1: like they just don't want they don't want that inner turmoil.

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Speaker 1: It's like the thing that they want is really a

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Speaker 1: conduit to to be calm, to be less stressed, to

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Speaker 1: not be the overthinker, to not be agitated, to not

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Speaker 1: be worried. And it's like when you go, well, what's

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Speaker 1: the opposite of all of that shit? It's peace, you know,

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Speaker 1: it's tranquility, it's calm. It's it's that you know, like

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Speaker 1: we all apart from we want a few other things.

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Speaker 1: Of course we want purpose and focus, but none of us,

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Speaker 1: you know, don't want to have that internal state of

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Speaker 1: joy and calm, do we?

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Speaker 3: I agree, And I think that we live a life.

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Speaker 4: I just had a conversation for my podcast this morning

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Speaker 4: with a really interesting guest, and we were talking. She

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Speaker 4: was talking about all the exit ramps that we have

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Speaker 4: from disconnection. Sorry, all the exit ramps that we have

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Speaker 4: was the raising shoes from connection with each.

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Speaker 3: Other and with ourselves.

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Speaker 4: And I was just thinking, literally, people can go from

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Speaker 4: the very moment they wake and usually pick up their

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Speaker 4: phone to the moment they go to bed, usually on

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Speaker 4: the phone in bed, scrolling or whatever, and very little

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Speaker 4: space for the brain to just rest for contemplation, for

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Speaker 4: that calm in the nervouses and even in the car

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Speaker 4: this morning.

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Speaker 3: Our daughter was on her phone.

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Speaker 4: She's limited to two hours a day, but she was

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Speaker 4: in the car and I said, put it down.

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Speaker 3: We don't have to have the radio on.

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Speaker 4: We can just actually give our brains a little break,

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Speaker 4: a little rest from the input.

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Speaker 3: And I don't know what.

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Speaker 4: Is that drives us all so furiously to feel every

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Speaker 4: minute of every day, but that sense of calm is

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Speaker 4: within reach for us if we know how. And before

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Speaker 4: joining you here, I did a non sleep deep rest

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Speaker 4: because I honestly could have just fallen asleep and had

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Speaker 4: a nap. So I set my alarm because I feel

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Speaker 4: super tired. Probably daylight savings. But there are tools that

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Speaker 4: we can use. We just need to prioritize it that

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Speaker 4: we have access to that more than perhaps what we

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Speaker 4: might realize, but we never stopped to use them because

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Speaker 4: we feel like, oh, I got to keep going, there's

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Speaker 4: no time. And the irony of it is that we

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Speaker 4: are cut our lives shorter and we're missing out on

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Speaker 4: actually enjoying the people around us and the things that

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Speaker 4: we're doing because we're just always looking for, you know,

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Speaker 4: what we need to tick off and move to next.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, it's definitely something I've been thinking about and

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Speaker 4: talking to my eye rolling teenager.

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Speaker 1: Isn't that you sound like a mum, but it is

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Speaker 1: so true. Like I'm I've become aware that I'm on

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Speaker 1: my phone more than I should be. I need to

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Speaker 1: be on my phone at times because of my work,

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Speaker 1: but I'm on it way more than I need to be.

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Speaker 1: You know, my intention every morning, unless I'm coaching someone

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Speaker 1: or meeting with someone. But I get to the cafe

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Speaker 1: at quarter past six, and you know, I fuck around

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Speaker 1: fifteen minutes. This is my plan. And then from kind

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Speaker 1: of six thirty to seven thirty, just emails, planning, writing notes,

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Speaker 1: you know, blah blah blah. But sometimes I look up

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Speaker 1: and at seven thirty and I've been fucking around for

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Speaker 1: an hour and a quarter. Like just the thing, too,

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Speaker 1: is like, once the algorithm or whatever it is, understands

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Speaker 1: what you pay attention to, I'm fucked because all it's

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Speaker 1: got to do is just oh, look like with Tiff,

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Speaker 1: all it is is, here's another puppy.

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Speaker 3: You know, baby'll get me a baby go for me.

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Speaker 1: It's like, oh, here's another motibike, brand new motibike who

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Speaker 1: does a million miles an hour. You know, or whatever

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Speaker 1: it is. But yeah, I've I've really had to. I've

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Speaker 1: started to put my phone in the other room. And

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Speaker 1: because even when I doing some things, but even now

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Speaker 1: I'm aware, it's like it's here, it's upside down and

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Speaker 1: it's turned off. But I I wish I had remembered

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Speaker 1: before the thing to put it in the other room

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Speaker 1: because I'm better. I know that's done. But even if

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Speaker 1: it's turned off and facing down, it still occupies three

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Speaker 1: percent of my brain. Yeah, nowhere near me. Yeah, my

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Speaker 1: focus is better go on, Yeah, totally.

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Speaker 3: And that that's I think.

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Speaker 4: I've heard Paul Taylor talk about this for about the

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Speaker 4: research showing that if it's just oh Christie, doctor Christy Goodman,

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Speaker 4: perhaps it was probably both. If it's even within our eyesight, eyeline,

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Speaker 4: you know that it does, it does. It's got this pool.

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Speaker 4: It's like this magnetic pool, and even if we're not

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Speaker 4: picking it up, we can withstand that it is occupying

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Speaker 4: a certain portion of our attention. And it's designed that way.

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Speaker 4: And you know, I think about, oh my gosh, like

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Speaker 4: kids with phones and the algorithm. And one thing that

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Speaker 4: I learned recently at a conference. I don't know whether

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Speaker 4: or not you've heard this Tier four harps, but something

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Speaker 4: like TikTok for example, you would think that the videos

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Speaker 4: that you like, you know, you actually actively press the

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Speaker 4: heart button on, would be the ones that the algorithm

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Speaker 4: would say, yes, she likes this, he likes that, send more.

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Speaker 4: In fact, the algorithm is designed to send you more

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Speaker 4: of what you spend time on, even if you don't

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Speaker 4: actively engage with the post. And there's fascinating and quite

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Speaker 4: terrifying research around eating disorders, for example, whereby if you

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Speaker 4: in starting to get that kind of information in your feed,

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Speaker 4: you might even get videos that are really unappealing, like

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Speaker 4: they're hard to look at because there might be somebody

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Speaker 4: who's extremely underweight, for example, but we tend to focus

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Speaker 4: on those, and we might linger a little bit longer

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Speaker 4: on a video like that, and that young women with

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Speaker 4: eating disorders are getting served up just a disproportionate amount

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Speaker 4: of these kinds of videos.

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Speaker 3: And yet, like, intellectually we know that we're on our.

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Speaker 4: Phones and it's junk or it's just time wasting, but

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Speaker 4: it's incredibly hard to actually go, oh, snap out of it,

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Speaker 4: put it down and get on with something more meaningful.

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Speaker 4: It's hard for us as adults, so it's near impossible

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Speaker 4: for our teens so tough.

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Speaker 1: I've had this conversation with somebody who works in their

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Speaker 1: space and there are actually influences in inverted commas who

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Speaker 1: teach generally young girls, but we'll say young people how

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Speaker 1: to essentially how to be anorexic and how to dress,

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Speaker 1: how to get away with it, how to trick people

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Speaker 1: to think that you're eating you know. Yeah, it's there's

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Speaker 1: some there's some devastatingly toxic stuff, you know. At our disposal,

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Speaker 1: I want to I want to ask both you a

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Speaker 1: hardish question. I'll start with you Jody, so tif this

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Speaker 1: gives you a little bit of think time because it's

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Speaker 1: the same question right now for you, doctor Jody, what

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Speaker 1: is being courageous for you? What's the thing that you

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Speaker 1: need to be courageous about that for you is scary,

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Speaker 1: but you know you need to lean into it or

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Speaker 1: step into it to whatever. What's the thing that scares

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Speaker 1: you but you know you need to do it?

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Speaker 3: Oh well, I can't.

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Speaker 4: Anything that is big enough in my life to be

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Speaker 4: scaring me at the moment. But I've been thinking about

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Speaker 4: what do I need to introduce into my life that

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Speaker 4: will scare me somewhat right, And I'm not practicing karate anymore,

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Speaker 4: and that was that took courage and commitment to not

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Speaker 4: only obviously stick to the training but also grade. And

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Speaker 4: I have been in a couple of competition fights, which honestly,

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Speaker 4: I'll try to see if I can dig out of video,

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Speaker 4: Craig and send it to you.

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Speaker 3: I think I've said that to you before. I'll see

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Speaker 3: if I can find one.

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Speaker 4: I'm kind of feeling at a point in my life

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Speaker 4: where doing the things that require courage Now. I guess

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Speaker 4: recently getting in a nice bath that was hard, but

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Speaker 4: it's you know, it's just being comfortable. Sorry, it's not

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Speaker 4: really been. It was just about tolerating the discomfort. I

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Speaker 4: don't think that really required courage. Yeah, so you've really

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Speaker 4: got me thinking, you know, I guess I need to

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Speaker 4: show up more online. I need to spend more time

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Speaker 4: kind of promoting I guess what I do that That

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Speaker 4: does make me feel anxious, but I do it. And

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Speaker 4: I've got so many blocks on my social media on

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Speaker 4: my phone during the day that it's a there's a

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Speaker 4: lot of friction to even post a quick.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, you've you've asked a.

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Speaker 4: Question that I can't really answer, and not because I'm

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Speaker 4: not willing, like I'm always willing to say.

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Speaker 3: You know, we've got some really.

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Speaker 4: Hard stuff going on at the moment with like Pete's

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Speaker 4: mum has Alzheimer's and my my dad's in a world

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Speaker 4: of pain, and there are very big challenges we're facing.

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Speaker 4: But I don't I can't think of anything that's drawing

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Speaker 4: on a huge amount of courage at the moment, and

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Speaker 4: it's something I'd like to address.

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Speaker 3: So I'm not sure how.

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Speaker 1: Wow, maybe things are good. That's always good. What about you,

388
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Speaker 1: Tippany and cook? Is there anything that brings to mind

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Speaker 1: when I ask that?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think especially coming back and having some clarity

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Speaker 2: about what I need to do and what I want

392
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Speaker 2: to do and what's not working. It takes courage when

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Speaker 2: you wake up each day and you realize you have

394
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Speaker 2: to change the routine and the behaviors that you now know,

395
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Speaker 2: Like it's because you know when you realize what's underneath,

396
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Speaker 2: Like when for people like me, when you sit and

397
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Speaker 2: actually realize why do I stay busy twenty four to seven?

398
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Speaker 2: Like one of the things when I got to India,

399
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Speaker 2: one of the questions I thought of from nowhere? Is

400
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:03,240
Speaker 2: living alone really the best for me? Should I get

401
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:06,040
Speaker 2: out of my comfort zone and get a bigger apartment

402
00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:09,480
Speaker 2: and just share it with another human because my social

403
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:13,480
Speaker 2: health probably requires some love.

404
00:23:14,119 --> 00:23:17,760
Speaker 1: But also you do have that baseball cap that says fuck.

405
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:21,119
Speaker 3: Off, though exactly, I'll tell you know what.

406
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:25,359
Speaker 2: I'll tell you. This feels funny, and like when I

407
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:27,679
Speaker 2: was in India, this took courage and I realized the

408
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:31,480
Speaker 2: significance of it afterwards. We shared some really deep stuff

409
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:35,040
Speaker 2: in our first night on the mountain with the other people.

410
00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:37,879
Speaker 2: Everybody shared things they'd never shared I'd share. I shared

411
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Speaker 2: things in full that I'd never shared with anyone as well,

412
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Speaker 2: So we had a really big connection. A lot of

413
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Speaker 2: people on this show. No, my background is of childhood

414
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Speaker 2: sexual abuse, so there's a lot of stuff there with

415
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:53,200
Speaker 2: men and trust and all of the things, and testing

416
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:55,040
Speaker 2: myself when I talked about that. And then I had

417
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Speaker 2: one night in Delhi before Shannon flew back from the

418
00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:01,080
Speaker 2: mountain and I was like, well, I can't I live

419
00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:03,240
Speaker 2: the hotel. It was very scary, and Dellie and I

420
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:06,240
Speaker 2: went to the gym and I was chatting to this guy,

421
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:10,920
Speaker 2: this guy that lived in South Indian India and he

422
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:13,120
Speaker 2: invited me to come for dinner. After we were chatting Brady,

423
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Speaker 2: he goes, I'm going to go for dinner. Do you want?

424
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:18,320
Speaker 2: Do you want to come? And I said yes? And

425
00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:21,240
Speaker 2: then I was like sitting in my room, going, You're

426
00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:23,880
Speaker 2: in a country you don't know, that's terrifying, with more

427
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:26,440
Speaker 2: people in the whole place than there is in all

428
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:30,240
Speaker 2: of Australia. And You're going to go meet some stranger

429
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Speaker 2: in the lobby who's going to take you to some

430
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:35,000
Speaker 2: place that he says he's going to take you. I'm like,

431
00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:36,960
Speaker 2: is this a good idea? No one knows where you are?

432
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Speaker 2: And this is I put the story on Facebook because

433
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:42,119
Speaker 2: it was quite funny what happened, Like we got a

434
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Speaker 2: bloody tire blowout in the you, but then we had

435
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,359
Speaker 2: to cature two trains to get there. And I'm thinking,

436
00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:48,200
Speaker 2: am I like? Am I going to go to dinner?

437
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:51,000
Speaker 2: Am I going to be on the news next week?

438
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:57,119
Speaker 2: But afterwards, the significance of trusting myself to judge the

439
00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:00,720
Speaker 2: character of the man I just met and to set

440
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:03,919
Speaker 2: a boundary and to speak up and to be clear

441
00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:07,879
Speaker 2: in what I was agreeing to was a really really

442
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:10,960
Speaker 2: courageous thing for me to do and it felt significant.

443
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:16,720
Speaker 1: So yeah, awesome, awesome, And how did you so you

444
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:19,000
Speaker 1: didn't get chopped up and turned into a cast role,

445
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:22,359
Speaker 1: So that's good. I thought that that was ever going

446
00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:27,240
Speaker 1: to happen. But how so how did you feel? Firstly,

447
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:28,040
Speaker 1: was it a good night?

448
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:30,800
Speaker 2: Yeah? It was brilliant, Like we went to Old Deli

449
00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:33,520
Speaker 2: and it was chaos, right, and I wouldn't have seen that.

450
00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:35,439
Speaker 2: I wouldn't And I said to him, this was really

451
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:38,280
Speaker 2: I'm really glad I said yes to doing this. I

452
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:41,120
Speaker 2: would never have seen this at this time of night,

453
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:44,480
Speaker 2: and I never would have had that crazy funny story.

454
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:47,919
Speaker 2: And he was really polite and really accommodating and it

455
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:48,560
Speaker 2: was wonderful.

456
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:52,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's great, that's great. How do you I mean,

457
00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:55,480
Speaker 1: you two as it's a bit different for you, Jody

458
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:59,000
Speaker 1: because you're married, but you've both been through like navigating

459
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:03,720
Speaker 1: a big part of your life relationships. And I'm a dude,

460
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:05,720
Speaker 1: so I don't get it like a woman gets it,

461
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:09,639
Speaker 1: because you know, I don't have to assess risk in

462
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:12,920
Speaker 1: the way that you two have to assess risk. Right,

463
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:19,840
Speaker 1: how do you how did you navigate all of that? Jody?

464
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:23,360
Speaker 1: With figuring out who to trust and who not to trust,

465
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:27,119
Speaker 1: and what to say yes to and know to. Is that, like,

466
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:31,080
Speaker 1: is that a real cognitive psychological thing or is that

467
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:34,760
Speaker 1: an instinctive or intuitive thing? What was that? What is

468
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:35,360
Speaker 1: that for you?

469
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:38,480
Speaker 3: I mean, I was.

470
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:40,600
Speaker 4: Reflecting a couple of days ago, how lucky I was.

471
00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:43,960
Speaker 4: I didn't get myself into any real trouble as sort

472
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:47,480
Speaker 4: of a teenager or young adult going out and being

473
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:52,119
Speaker 4: very trusting, being very trusting, and not having any sense

474
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:57,679
Speaker 4: of listening to my gut or even perhaps noticing that

475
00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:01,040
Speaker 4: my guts maybe telling me don't and then ignoring it.

476
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:06,920
Speaker 4: I started to become again like with karate, I started

477
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 4: that when I was forty. That was when I first

478
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:13,359
Speaker 4: really started to think about, you know, my own gut

479
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:17,439
Speaker 4: and listening to that, my own personal safety. I was

480
00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:21,640
Speaker 4: terrified as a new driver at eighteen nineteen years of age,

481
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:26,360
Speaker 4: when the Paul Charles Daniel, the serial killer in Frankston

482
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:30,159
Speaker 4: was you know, taking women and killing them, and one

483
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,600
Speaker 4: of them died right near my high school. One of

484
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:34,399
Speaker 4: them died right near where I had netle training. It

485
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:36,720
Speaker 4: was all very close to home, so I had this

486
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:42,200
Speaker 4: sense of fear. But I didn't have this instinctive understanding

487
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:45,320
Speaker 4: about what my body could tell me about safety and danger.

488
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:48,920
Speaker 4: And you know what you were saying before, Tiff, when

489
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:52,480
Speaker 4: you said you were like asking the question, and Craig

490
00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:55,640
Speaker 4: you asked about courage. You know, I guess I went

491
00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:59,280
Speaker 4: straight to, oh, courage has to be you know, something big.

492
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:04,080
Speaker 4: But it I think sometimes courage is just facing the

493
00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:06,679
Speaker 4: world every day. It doesn't always have to be, you know,

494
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:09,879
Speaker 4: a raw It can be a little whisper sometimes just

495
00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:16,400
Speaker 4: to say no or to do something that's a little

496
00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:18,359
Speaker 4: bit out of your comfort zone. Anything like that can

497
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:21,760
Speaker 4: take courage. So my answer before was kind of about

498
00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:25,960
Speaker 4: the big things, but it does take courage to, like tif,

499
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:29,040
Speaker 4: when you're in a situation like that, to be invited

500
00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:31,439
Speaker 4: somewhere and to be offered an opportunity and then to

501
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:34,680
Speaker 4: listen to that guard instinct and to say, actually, something

502
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:36,200
Speaker 4: about this does doesn't feel right.

503
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:40,840
Speaker 3: I am always on alert. I am always with.

504
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:42,840
Speaker 4: My head on a sivol when I'm walking to my car,

505
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:49,360
Speaker 4: you know, sometimes parked in multi story car parks in Melbourne.

506
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:51,239
Speaker 4: When I'm speaking at an event and I'm walking there

507
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:56,440
Speaker 4: on my own, I'm on high alert now and much

508
00:28:56,520 --> 00:29:02,720
Speaker 4: more tuned in to myself. But you know, when my

509
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:04,960
Speaker 4: dad was in hospital recently after having a stroke and

510
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:07,280
Speaker 4: I was walking from the emergency department back to my car,

511
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:09,760
Speaker 4: my brother was visiting. I said to him, gosh, it's

512
00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:11,920
Speaker 4: a long dark walk for any nurses who are parked

513
00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:14,800
Speaker 4: over here, and he said, I would have never thought

514
00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:15,120
Speaker 4: of that.

515
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:16,040
Speaker 3: It would never have.

516
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:20,240
Speaker 4: Crossed my mind, the safety considerations, and so it's very

517
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:20,680
Speaker 4: front of.

518
00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:22,040
Speaker 3: Mine for me now.

519
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:25,120
Speaker 4: But yeah, gosh, I put myself in some positions when

520
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:27,120
Speaker 4: I was younger that I could have been in trouble.

521
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:31,520
Speaker 4: But thankfully, you know, I'm not in a casserole somewhere either.

522
00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:39,680
Speaker 1: Thankfully, I think I love this conversation because I'm the same.

523
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:43,520
Speaker 1: I would think about it, but only because of I

524
00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:46,479
Speaker 1: spend time with people like you two, right, But in

525
00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:48,880
Speaker 1: my natural habitat, I would never think about it. It's

526
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:53,640
Speaker 1: like nearly every night in my life, many nights, probably

527
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:55,680
Speaker 1: three hundred nights a year, I go for a walk

528
00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:58,280
Speaker 1: in the dark late and I go I walk in

529
00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:01,840
Speaker 1: bare feet, and I walk around suburb and I have

530
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:06,600
Speaker 1: headphones on. So if someone hock and let's not put

531
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:10,080
Speaker 1: any suggestions out there, but you know, it's like, I

532
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:13,720
Speaker 1: don't even think about it, and if I see someone

533
00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:20,200
Speaker 1: walking towards me, I have no fear. I'm not saying

534
00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:23,000
Speaker 1: that's because I'm a fucking legend. I'm not, you know,

535
00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:26,440
Speaker 1: but I just don't whereas if I was, if I was,

536
00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 1: you know, a smaller, less strong female, I guess I

537
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:36,280
Speaker 1: would probably walk to the other side of the road

538
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:40,200
Speaker 1: or maybe he fucking you know. But yeah, when you're

539
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:44,720
Speaker 1: a dude and you're big and kind of strong and whatever, yeah,

540
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:47,600
Speaker 1: we don't have to think about that, you know, And

541
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:50,160
Speaker 1: so it's such a different like doing the same thing

542
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:51,840
Speaker 1: as a different experience, right, TIV.

543
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:55,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, you just made me think of I was walking

544
00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:57,240
Speaker 2: home one day and I was just near my house

545
00:30:57,280 --> 00:31:00,000
Speaker 2: and in the dark, and there was this person walking

546
00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:04,080
Speaker 2: towards me and a bit wobbly and out of sorts,

547
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:06,840
Speaker 2: and you know when people look like, oh, this person

548
00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:10,040
Speaker 2: looks under the influence on high alert. And from a distance,

549
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 2: they looked up and was a female, and she smiled

550
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:17,960
Speaker 2: and she said hi or said something, and she had

551
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:20,920
Speaker 2: a physical some sort of a physical disability that was

552
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:24,440
Speaker 2: making her walk like that. And I felt like this

553
00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:27,320
Speaker 2: rush of two emotions. I felt really grateful that she,

554
00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:31,040
Speaker 2: as a female, obviously knew it was dark and there

555
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:33,040
Speaker 2: was something odd about how she was walking and that

556
00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:36,240
Speaker 2: would elicit fear in somebody else. And then I felt

557
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:41,600
Speaker 2: really kind of guilty at myself for judging someone who

558
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:44,720
Speaker 2: had to highlight that and have a disability and was

559
00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:48,080
Speaker 2: thinking more of me than them, Like it was, Yeah, I.

560
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:50,560
Speaker 1: Don't think I don't think you judged. I think that's

561
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:53,800
Speaker 1: just like your brain's job is to protect you, so

562
00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:57,320
Speaker 1: your brain recognizes things, and it would have been you know,

563
00:31:57,840 --> 00:31:59,920
Speaker 1: it could have been in nine out of ten, on

564
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:03,000
Speaker 1: nine turn out of twenty instances, someone kind of stumbling

565
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:06,920
Speaker 1: towards you would have meant something different. So there's no

566
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:12,200
Speaker 1: conscious nasty judgment in that. But another just will finish

567
00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:15,800
Speaker 1: this bit of the conversation. Anyway, if I'm walking in

568
00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:19,000
Speaker 1: the dark and somebody's on the same side of the

569
00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:22,880
Speaker 1: street walking towards me, and it's a female, I will

570
00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:26,200
Speaker 1: cross the road so they don't feel scared. Or if

571
00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:28,560
Speaker 1: I walk out my side gate, you know where that

572
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:31,080
Speaker 1: is tif right, If I walk out my side gate

573
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:34,160
Speaker 1: and somebody is two steps ahead of me as I

574
00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:38,720
Speaker 1: walk out, and it's a lady I will not follow them.

575
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:42,240
Speaker 1: You know. It's like I'm heading left and they're walking left.

576
00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:45,320
Speaker 1: They're two steps in front of me. I walk out

577
00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:48,200
Speaker 1: the gate. Now I'm fucking six feet behind them walking.

578
00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:54,360
Speaker 1: I know that that's potentially fucking terrifying. So I'll walk

579
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:56,880
Speaker 1: to the other side of the road and head in

580
00:32:56,920 --> 00:33:02,280
Speaker 1: the direction, but not near. I just I'm very you know,

581
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:04,760
Speaker 1: I'm very aware of that. Like most of the people

582
00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:07,160
Speaker 1: that I coach and mentor and most of our listeners

583
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:10,840
Speaker 1: and most of the people who come to my workshops, women,

584
00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:13,520
Speaker 1: and so I just I have this, and I'm very

585
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:16,040
Speaker 1: grateful for my job because it's given me an insight

586
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:18,680
Speaker 1: and an awareness that I would, you know, if I

587
00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:21,400
Speaker 1: was no disrespect to the plumbers, But if I was

588
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:25,200
Speaker 1: a plumber, I wouldn't have this, you know, this level

589
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:27,880
Speaker 1: of awareness that I have because of my job, although

590
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:30,800
Speaker 1: maybe maybe plumbers do, I don't know.

591
00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:35,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love that, Jody.

592
00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:38,360
Speaker 1: We're not going yet, but you and I are speaking

593
00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:41,400
Speaker 1: at you and I are talking at a gig next

594
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:43,840
Speaker 1: week a what do we call it? Do we call

595
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:46,920
Speaker 1: it a collai? It's called a late and it's being

596
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:49,800
Speaker 1: run by no Elevate.

597
00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:52,800
Speaker 3: Isn't it no relate late relate but.

598
00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:56,080
Speaker 1: Good thing, good thing. I'm not in charge of pr

599
00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:59,200
Speaker 1: Jody and I are talking at an event called Relate,

600
00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:03,400
Speaker 1: which is being put on by eighty nine point nine

601
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:08,720
Speaker 1: l F in Melbourne's Positive Alternative and we're doing Tuesday

602
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:14,279
Speaker 1: night and Wednesday night at two different locations. And what's

603
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:17,160
Speaker 1: hilarious is one hundred years ago I used to do

604
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:20,920
Speaker 1: a morning show on light FM called the Grand Standards

605
00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:25,280
Speaker 1: every Saturday with Jane O'Brien, the gorgeous Jon O'Brien for years.

606
00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:27,839
Speaker 1: Well I'm trying, By the way, do you know who

607
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:31,440
Speaker 1: Jan O'Brien is, either of you to I don't so

608
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:35,680
Speaker 1: lovely Jane fucking hell. I'll get back to the topic

609
00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:39,480
Speaker 1: in the moment, but this is worth dtering. So Jane

610
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:44,319
Speaker 1: is an exercise physiologist. She's a gun, super smart. I

611
00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:47,600
Speaker 1: don't say this lightly, one of my top ten favorite

612
00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:49,279
Speaker 1: people in the world. And I know a lot of

613
00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:57,520
Speaker 1: people and just the most beautiful, generous soul. And I

614
00:34:57,560 --> 00:35:01,080
Speaker 1: can't talk too much or I get teary, but but

615
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:04,879
Speaker 1: oh I take a breath, so.

616
00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:14,040
Speaker 3: Thank your time.

617
00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:25,040
Speaker 1: I'm a big baby. So anyway, she had cystic fibrosis,

618
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:30,080
Speaker 1: which if you know anything about cystic fibrosis, it's not

619
00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:33,640
Speaker 1: consistent with a long life. And she had a thing

620
00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:40,480
Speaker 1: called bronchie extasis, which is worse right, And so her

621
00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:44,120
Speaker 1: lung capacity was down to I think somewhere around thirty percent.

622
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:49,319
Speaker 1: And I will fuck this story up a little bit,

623
00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:51,400
Speaker 1: but this is as well as I know it anyway.

624
00:35:51,680 --> 00:35:55,160
Speaker 1: So we finished working together years ago. But after we

625
00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:57,840
Speaker 1: finished working, she just got sicker and sicker to the

626
00:35:57,880 --> 00:36:03,040
Speaker 1: point where she needed a double lung transplant. Oh gosh,

627
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:08,080
Speaker 1: that was emotional, And isn't it funny how things I'm

628
00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:12,560
Speaker 1: fucking like people I care about, oh, which I care

629
00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:14,840
Speaker 1: about most people, doesn't take much. I'm a big fucking

630
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:19,600
Speaker 1: big baby anyway, So yes, we're coming.

631
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:21,360
Speaker 3: Back to this. I'm a big baby. But finish what

632
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:21,920
Speaker 3: you were saying.

633
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:24,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, no, I love crying on my own podcast.

634
00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:26,439
Speaker 1: I didn't cry everyone. I almost cried, or I cried

635
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:30,000
Speaker 1: a little bit. But Jane was Jane ended up in

636
00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:34,200
Speaker 1: hospital and intensive care needing a double lung transplant, on

637
00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:38,359
Speaker 1: a waiting list, and it was not looking great and

638
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:43,399
Speaker 1: she was pretty much at death's door. And I might

639
00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:45,840
Speaker 1: fuck this bit up, so I might have to correct

640
00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:50,000
Speaker 1: this in another episode, but my understanding is that she

641
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:52,680
Speaker 1: was very close to where they were about to switch

642
00:36:52,719 --> 00:36:56,880
Speaker 1: everything off and say, you know, and her husband Pete,

643
00:36:56,920 --> 00:37:00,400
Speaker 1: who also I love, who's also a beautiful human, he

644
00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:06,040
Speaker 1: basically said, just give her another day or so, just

645
00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:09,719
Speaker 1: give her another day or so. And that day, I

646
00:37:09,719 --> 00:37:12,080
Speaker 1: think it was, I don't know, a few hours after

647
00:37:12,239 --> 00:37:15,759
Speaker 1: he pleaded with the medical staff to give her a

648
00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:20,880
Speaker 1: little bit more time. She got some lungs, and she

649
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:25,879
Speaker 1: got some lungs, and so she's now ten months down

650
00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:30,400
Speaker 1: the track, and she's very alive, still recovering, and still

651
00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:35,359
Speaker 1: has a very, very whispery voice. I don't know how

652
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:37,680
Speaker 1: I started talking about Jane. I can't remember the origin

653
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:43,439
Speaker 1: story for this, but light FM. Oh that's right, thanks Tiff. So, yeah,

654
00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:45,719
Speaker 1: we did Jane, and I had Jane and I had

655
00:37:45,719 --> 00:37:48,279
Speaker 1: a show for a very long time. And it's like,

656
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:51,960
Speaker 1: you know, do you ever do Sometimes I'm a shit friend.

657
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:56,280
Speaker 1: It's like I love people, but I feel like, because

658
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:58,880
Speaker 1: she had all this going on, so we were talking, talking,

659
00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:01,040
Speaker 1: and then in the middle of all of it, and

660
00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:04,880
Speaker 1: I feel like I wasn't the best friend and I

661
00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:07,759
Speaker 1: meant to. I should have rung her a month or

662
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:09,520
Speaker 1: two ago. I haven't spoken her for a while, and

663
00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:13,120
Speaker 1: I rang her last week and even ringing, I felt

664
00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:16,120
Speaker 1: guilty to ring, but then I couldn't leave it any

665
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:18,960
Speaker 1: longer and I just started with I started with I'm

666
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:22,919
Speaker 1: a shit friend. I apologize. I love you, I'm shit.

667
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:27,920
Speaker 1: You're a better human than me. Right But anyway, anyway,

668
00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:30,880
Speaker 1: that was a story no one needed here. But thank god, literally,

669
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:35,080
Speaker 1: thank god she's on the mend and shout out to

670
00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:38,480
Speaker 1: you Joanie and family. But anyway, so you and I

671
00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:40,400
Speaker 1: are doing a gig for Light of FM. Tell everyone

672
00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:42,400
Speaker 1: what it's about because it's free. I don't know if

673
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:46,120
Speaker 1: there are any tickets still available, but give us the snapshot.

674
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:51,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, So Tuesday the fifteenth and Wednesday the sixteenth, they're

675
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:55,640
Speaker 4: the same event, essentially in two different locations. So one's

676
00:38:55,640 --> 00:38:58,520
Speaker 4: in the east of Melbourne and one is in the west.

677
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:01,880
Speaker 4: And I don't have the exact details of the locations,

678
00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:03,960
Speaker 4: but you'll find them on the website, which is eighty

679
00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:07,320
Speaker 4: nine point nine the light dot com dot are you

680
00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:13,160
Speaker 4: and yeah, it's they're free events for obviously you're speaking,

681
00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:16,040
Speaker 4: I'm speaking, doctor Danny Cheer is speaking. He's a child

682
00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:19,520
Speaker 4: and an adolescent psychiatrist. But it's not a parenting event. It's

683
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:23,000
Speaker 4: an event, an event for people who want to come

684
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:27,080
Speaker 4: along and learn ideas and get strategies and have connection

685
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:31,480
Speaker 4: with people like us and each other who can help change,

686
00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:35,000
Speaker 4: you know, how they're experiencing their mental health. And I'm

687
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:37,280
Speaker 4: going to be speaking about the science of happiness and wellbeing,

688
00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:39,640
Speaker 4: so I'm not going to be talking about anxiety per se.

689
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:43,560
Speaker 4: And yeah, they are magnificent events. I had the joy

690
00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:46,680
Speaker 4: of speaking last year and gosh, we must have had

691
00:39:46,719 --> 00:39:49,640
Speaker 4: about eight hundred odd people in the room. And the

692
00:39:49,719 --> 00:39:52,600
Speaker 4: connection people have with each other as well as you know,

693
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:55,200
Speaker 4: with those of us that are lucky enough to have

694
00:39:55,239 --> 00:39:59,040
Speaker 4: a chance to get the microphone, very very special. So yeah,

695
00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:02,240
Speaker 4: free tickets. Need to reserve your seat by the website.

696
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:08,000
Speaker 1: You know. I don't know if I should tell this story,

697
00:40:08,239 --> 00:40:11,080
Speaker 1: but by the way, everyone, if you want to come along,

698
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:14,600
Speaker 1: go to the tickets are free, which is an amazing,

699
00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:19,279
Speaker 1: an amazing opportunity. I think, not to see me, but

700
00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:21,640
Speaker 1: see the other two will be good. I'm up the end.

701
00:40:21,239 --> 00:40:23,600
Speaker 1: I've been put up the back, so you can leave

702
00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:28,719
Speaker 1: after the first two if you want. But what was

703
00:40:28,719 --> 00:40:29,279
Speaker 1: it going to say to.

704
00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:30,759
Speaker 4: You were going to tell a story that you said

705
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:32,399
Speaker 4: you didn't think you should tell. But I think that's

706
00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:33,719
Speaker 4: every reason to tell it.

707
00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:38,960
Speaker 1: That's right. So there was a point in time, like

708
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:41,560
Speaker 1: I was working at Lighter FM, right, And it's not

709
00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:46,359
Speaker 1: like I was the most I was probably not in

710
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:48,799
Speaker 1: some ways the best fit, but in some ways not

711
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:53,439
Speaker 1: the best fit because I'm me and it was it's

712
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:58,319
Speaker 1: now more a it's still a Christian based station, but

713
00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:00,960
Speaker 1: it's fair to say that I wasn't the high water up.

714
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:04,880
Speaker 1: But how you know, a person of that faith should

715
00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:08,919
Speaker 1: perhaps behave And I think what happened was I could

716
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:12,440
Speaker 1: be wrong. I think they discovered I'd written a book

717
00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:17,400
Speaker 1: with fuck on the front, and I think I think

718
00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:20,279
Speaker 1: they well, I think they knew that, but I think

719
00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:23,000
Speaker 1: they started to get feedback from some of the listeners

720
00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:27,360
Speaker 1: and not my listeners, but just some of the people

721
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:29,720
Speaker 1: that knew, Oh, they've got this guy on the show

722
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:33,120
Speaker 1: on the station that has written a book called Stop

723
00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:37,319
Speaker 1: Fucking Around, and this is meant to be so yeah.

724
00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:39,400
Speaker 1: I So we had a bit of a chat and

725
00:41:39,400 --> 00:41:41,960
Speaker 1: I went listen, it's probably it's best for you and

726
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:45,160
Speaker 1: best for me. And then I got a phone call

727
00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:49,000
Speaker 1: a month ago from MJ. Want who's is the program director,

728
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:49,319
Speaker 1: isn't he?

729
00:41:49,719 --> 00:41:51,959
Speaker 3: I think of listener engagement there he.

730
00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:54,600
Speaker 1: Is, and he's like, mate, we would love you to

731
00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:57,000
Speaker 1: come and speak at this light event. I go, well,

732
00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:59,800
Speaker 1: you know, I say fuck right, and he's like he laughed,

733
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:02,320
Speaker 1: and he goes, yeah, we're well aware. I go, you

734
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:06,240
Speaker 1: know that, And I think I think he was saying

735
00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:09,680
Speaker 1: something that they're they've evolved a little bit. There are

736
00:42:09,719 --> 00:42:13,520
Speaker 1: probably a little bit more, you know, So I'll try

737
00:42:13,560 --> 00:42:15,960
Speaker 1: to keep the fucks to a minimum next Tuesday and Wednesday.

738
00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:18,720
Speaker 1: Jodie is my long winded kind of message.

739
00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:22,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, now look at you know when I when they started,

740
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 4: we were talking about them producing my podcast.

741
00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:26,799
Speaker 3: We had lots of chats m J.

742
00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:30,680
Speaker 4: And me, and we you know, he said, you know

743
00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:34,680
Speaker 4: that the station has listeners who are you know, there

744
00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:38,520
Speaker 4: for the Christian content and you know, you know, really

745
00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:40,880
Speaker 4: clear on their faith. There are those that are searching

746
00:42:40,920 --> 00:42:43,239
Speaker 4: and looking for something more. And there are others that

747
00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:47,960
Speaker 4: aren't Christian and not interested, but looking for you know,

748
00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:51,040
Speaker 4: positive and uplifting is the branding of course, and and

749
00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:51,759
Speaker 4: that's what it is.

750
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:53,560
Speaker 3: So yeah, so it's really it's really good.

751
00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:56,680
Speaker 4: They MJ listened to every single one of my podcast

752
00:42:56,680 --> 00:43:00,920
Speaker 4: episodes before inviting me to become part of the Light family.

753
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:04,239
Speaker 4: As we say, so good thing that I kept it

754
00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:06,680
Speaker 4: clean all along, or they wouldn't have probably want.

755
00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:07,560
Speaker 3: To be on board.

756
00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:11,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, they do do a good job. And like,

757
00:43:11,360 --> 00:43:14,839
Speaker 1: I've worked in a bunch of radio stations. And what

758
00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:20,279
Speaker 1: was interesting was I was working at SEN, which is

759
00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:25,600
Speaker 1: obviously a commercial station at the same time, and the

760
00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:30,959
Speaker 1: facilities and studios and resources at that time at light

761
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:35,960
Speaker 1: FM was significantly better than SEN. And light FM is

762
00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:40,080
Speaker 1: a community station that is run like a commercial station

763
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:45,400
Speaker 1: in terms of like the way like their production, their

764
00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:50,279
Speaker 1: facilities and resources. It's yeah, it's it's world class. It's

765
00:43:50,360 --> 00:43:52,560
Speaker 1: run like I mean, I've worked at Gold FM. I've

766
00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:55,759
Speaker 1: worked at a bunch of stations. It's literally just like

767
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:59,000
Speaker 1: working into a walking into a high level commercial station.

768
00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:02,759
Speaker 1: So they must be doing something right. All right, let's

769
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:10,399
Speaker 1: head down the home straight. Where do people start in this?

770
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:12,960
Speaker 1: I mean, I know there's no three step plan, but

771
00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:17,160
Speaker 1: maybe from both of you, this kind of idea of

772
00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:22,120
Speaker 1: how do I, how do I better manage me? How

773
00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:24,879
Speaker 1: do I better self regulate? TIF do you have any

774
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:29,120
Speaker 1: insights into this, like, how do I that idea of equanimity?

775
00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:31,560
Speaker 1: How do I be the calm in the chaos, because

776
00:44:32,239 --> 00:44:35,280
Speaker 1: there's always going to be chaos around us at times.

777
00:44:36,160 --> 00:44:37,440
Speaker 1: None of us are going to be living in a

778
00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:42,160
Speaker 1: cave on a mat, you know. So you moving forward?

779
00:44:42,239 --> 00:44:45,000
Speaker 1: Do you have a plan now that you're back from

780
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:50,160
Speaker 1: this kind of somewhat philosophical spiritual experience or are you

781
00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:51,680
Speaker 1: just going with the.

782
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:54,560
Speaker 3: Flow a little bit of both.

783
00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:57,759
Speaker 2: Really, we spent one thing we spent a lot of

784
00:44:57,840 --> 00:45:02,040
Speaker 2: time on there before hitting the mountain, which said a

785
00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:07,840
Speaker 2: lot of intentions was workshopping our identity, our kind of

786
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:13,560
Speaker 2: I am statement, who am I? And what sound like

787
00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:16,440
Speaker 2: wanky terms, but our mission and purpose. But when you

788
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:22,680
Speaker 2: actually sit down and really drill down on that, you

789
00:45:23,080 --> 00:45:25,040
Speaker 2: learn a lot about yourself. And I just feel like

790
00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:29,880
Speaker 2: the world is different to me now because I was

791
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:35,040
Speaker 2: experiencing it through this foggy lens of not really recognizing

792
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:41,920
Speaker 2: what values were driving me. And so when I, I

793
00:45:41,920 --> 00:45:45,400
Speaker 2: should say, when I can recognize that now other people's

794
00:45:46,320 --> 00:45:50,640
Speaker 2: actions or experiences or the people around me, I feel

795
00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:53,320
Speaker 2: like I'm responding differently to the more I'm not responding

796
00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:56,520
Speaker 2: to them because I'm just clear on what matters to

797
00:45:56,600 --> 00:45:59,880
Speaker 2: me and I'm looking at that and not all the

798
00:45:59,880 --> 00:46:01,360
Speaker 2: other stuff, if that makes sense.

799
00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:02,640
Speaker 1: Yeah.

800
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:09,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's interesting. That's simple and somewhat wanky stuff, you know,

801
00:46:10,280 --> 00:46:12,680
Speaker 2: to go, oh, we're going to go on, We're going

802
00:46:12,760 --> 00:46:18,719
Speaker 2: to our mission and purpose, but it's like it it matters. Yeah.

803
00:46:19,120 --> 00:46:24,080
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, also the idea of kind of stepping out

804
00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:28,359
Speaker 1: of the unconsciousness of your life, you know, where like

805
00:46:28,480 --> 00:46:31,880
Speaker 1: life happens anyway, right, I mean, life just goes on

806
00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:34,400
Speaker 1: and then you look up and you go, oh fuck,

807
00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:39,640
Speaker 1: and now I'm fifty shit shit, and it's it's and

808
00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:43,000
Speaker 1: that's not really anybody's goal is to have that Oh fuck,

809
00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:46,759
Speaker 1: I'm fifty and this wasn't my plan. Yeah, but is

810
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:49,919
Speaker 1: to start to whatever this means for the individual, live

811
00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:57,200
Speaker 1: more alignce, live more consciously, genuinely even in the busyness,

812
00:46:57,239 --> 00:47:03,239
Speaker 1: and mayhem, to be more aware you know, what about you, doc,

813
00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:04,120
Speaker 1: what about you?

814
00:47:05,920 --> 00:47:09,240
Speaker 4: Yeah? Very much aligned with what you were saying, Tiff.

815
00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:12,840
Speaker 4: I've been that there's a concept in acceptance and commitment

816
00:47:12,840 --> 00:47:15,839
Speaker 4: therapy called the choice point, and that.

817
00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:18,960
Speaker 3: You know, multiple times, dozens of times during.

818
00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:22,000
Speaker 4: The day, we've got this opportunity to consider whether or

819
00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:25,400
Speaker 4: not something's taking us towards what's really important to us,

820
00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:27,839
Speaker 4: our values, which is exactly what you were talking about

821
00:47:27,880 --> 00:47:33,040
Speaker 4: tif or Away, And I am I've just got that

822
00:47:33,520 --> 00:47:36,160
Speaker 4: awareness about the choice point kind of more top of

823
00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:39,600
Speaker 4: mind at the moment. And so, like a small example,

824
00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:43,440
Speaker 4: like I love chocolate, all right, I love it, and

825
00:47:44,680 --> 00:47:45,440
Speaker 4: but I buy.

826
00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:47,719
Speaker 3: A Fredo frog because there is an end to that.

827
00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:49,880
Speaker 4: It's only like thirty five grams or something, so I

828
00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:52,600
Speaker 4: can indulge, but I'm not eating a whole block of

829
00:47:52,640 --> 00:47:53,439
Speaker 4: Cabri dairy milk.

830
00:47:54,080 --> 00:47:59,360
Speaker 1: Do you know you're just talking to a version of you.

831
00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:01,560
Speaker 2: You know you can get giant fretdo's too, and they

832
00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:02,280
Speaker 2: taste better.

833
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:05,759
Speaker 4: Well, they're giant Frettos that I'm buying to, you know,

834
00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:08,320
Speaker 4: Like they're the ones that I buy. But just for example,

835
00:48:08,360 --> 00:48:11,080
Speaker 4: like yesterday they're on sale at Woollies, Like they're overpriced

836
00:48:11,120 --> 00:48:12,560
Speaker 4: for what they are, but they were a dollar each.

837
00:48:12,560 --> 00:48:13,960
Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm going to buy two, put one in

838
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:16,640
Speaker 4: the in the drawer, and when I ate one yesterday,

839
00:48:16,640 --> 00:48:18,600
Speaker 4: I don't normally I usually have like one one a

840
00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:21,839
Speaker 4: week or something, but I thought I want, oh, I

841
00:48:21,840 --> 00:48:23,880
Speaker 4: want to eat that other fredo the minute I'd finished

842
00:48:23,920 --> 00:48:26,919
Speaker 4: the first and then this choice point came into my mind.

843
00:48:26,960 --> 00:48:29,120
Speaker 4: I'm like, no, well, I mean be cause I'm fifty,

844
00:48:29,239 --> 00:48:31,600
Speaker 4: I'm on the other side of I mean, I'm through menopause.

845
00:48:31,719 --> 00:48:35,320
Speaker 4: My I'm still crossfitting, but my body shape is changing,

846
00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:37,879
Speaker 4: my body fat levels are higher than they've ever been,

847
00:48:38,280 --> 00:48:41,479
Speaker 4: you know for me. And I'm conscious of these things,

848
00:48:41,520 --> 00:48:43,600
Speaker 4: and i want my health, i want my strength, i

849
00:48:43,640 --> 00:48:46,640
Speaker 4: want my vitality for the next fifty and so I'm like,

850
00:48:46,920 --> 00:48:49,720
Speaker 4: choice point, Okay, towards are away. Okay, eating that second

851
00:48:49,719 --> 00:48:53,399
Speaker 4: fretto is definitely away. If I was a party, If

852
00:48:53,400 --> 00:48:55,360
Speaker 4: I was at a party, it would be towards. So

853
00:48:55,480 --> 00:48:59,440
Speaker 4: context matters. But I'm keeping in mind this idea that

854
00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:03,120
Speaker 4: you know, it's hard. It takes effort to do good

855
00:49:03,120 --> 00:49:07,120
Speaker 4: by ourselves, it really does. And I'm trying to listen

856
00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:10,960
Speaker 4: and then and then when that resistance comes up, because

857
00:49:11,440 --> 00:49:13,239
Speaker 4: we will go to a concert tonight, we'll be home

858
00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:16,480
Speaker 4: really late, I've got CrossFit booked in the morning. There

859
00:49:16,480 --> 00:49:19,160
Speaker 4: will be resistance, but I will go because it's important.

860
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:22,080
Speaker 4: And so, yeah, this choice point is something that I'm

861
00:49:22,920 --> 00:49:27,680
Speaker 4: I'm really keeping in mind. It's simple and it's quite powerful.

862
00:49:28,200 --> 00:49:30,040
Speaker 4: We just have to listen when we get our answer.

863
00:49:32,840 --> 00:49:37,240
Speaker 4: So but before just sorry, I'm so sorry to interruptive Craig.

864
00:49:37,320 --> 00:49:39,640
Speaker 4: Before we finish our recording today. This is something that

865
00:49:39,680 --> 00:49:43,680
Speaker 4: I just wanted to just quickly mention. So can we

866
00:49:43,760 --> 00:49:45,880
Speaker 4: just make sure we save a little just a minute

867
00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:47,720
Speaker 4: or two for something I just want to share towards

868
00:49:47,719 --> 00:49:48,040
Speaker 4: the end.

869
00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:51,480
Speaker 3: Sure, Okay, thanks, Sorry, Tiff, go go, That's all right.

870
00:49:51,520 --> 00:49:53,759
Speaker 2: I was just going to say I wrote the first

871
00:49:53,840 --> 00:49:55,919
Speaker 2: day I came back. I wrote on my whiteboard, which

872
00:49:55,920 --> 00:49:58,319
Speaker 2: is in front of me. Now, will I do what's

873
00:49:58,400 --> 00:50:01,960
Speaker 2: required today to be I want to be tomorrow? And

874
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:04,800
Speaker 2: then I've got I'll show you three post it notes.

875
00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:08,160
Speaker 2: I've got one that just say will I. I've got

876
00:50:08,160 --> 00:50:10,839
Speaker 2: one on my bathroom mirror, one on the inside of

877
00:50:10,840 --> 00:50:13,000
Speaker 2: my front door that I see when I leave the house,

878
00:50:13,080 --> 00:50:15,040
Speaker 2: and one on the fridge.

879
00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:16,440
Speaker 3: And in my head all day.

880
00:50:16,320 --> 00:50:18,680
Speaker 2: I'm like, will I will I will. I'm doing five

881
00:50:18,680 --> 00:50:21,880
Speaker 2: minute meditations twice a day just to stop and pause.

882
00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:23,759
Speaker 2: It's like, am I going to let my heart rate

883
00:50:23,880 --> 00:50:27,360
Speaker 2: go back up thirteen beats a minute till it's usual?

884
00:50:27,920 --> 00:50:29,680
Speaker 2: Or am I going to keep it to the thirteen

885
00:50:29,719 --> 00:50:33,200
Speaker 2: beats a minute lower resting heart rate I had from

886
00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:36,600
Speaker 2: being in India. Do you know, like it's so yeah,

887
00:50:36,640 --> 00:50:39,680
Speaker 2: I found that a really a good practice for me.

888
00:50:40,600 --> 00:50:43,880
Speaker 1: That's quite an amazing You know what I love about that?

889
00:50:45,239 --> 00:50:45,319
Speaker 4: That?

890
00:50:45,640 --> 00:50:48,760
Speaker 1: Well, I love about your new regime in the house

891
00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:50,960
Speaker 1: and your post it notes, but I love that there

892
00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:55,319
Speaker 1: is a measurable outcome. Like the thing with psychology and

893
00:50:55,360 --> 00:50:57,720
Speaker 1: the motions and stuff, it's kind of hard to measure,

894
00:50:57,840 --> 00:51:02,200
Speaker 1: right because it's you know, it's very subjective, but heart

895
00:51:02,320 --> 00:51:06,600
Speaker 1: rate is not subjective. It's like it's a number. Yeah,

896
00:51:06,680 --> 00:51:09,480
Speaker 1: it's a number of beats in a minute. And I

897
00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:14,160
Speaker 1: mean thirteen beats lower on average is a fucking lot.

898
00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:17,280
Speaker 2: That is substantious lower than it's ever been. It's sitting.

899
00:51:17,320 --> 00:51:18,479
Speaker 3: It wasn't back, and it.

900
00:51:18,440 --> 00:51:23,400
Speaker 2: Wasn't it was it normally sits high fifties to low sixties,

901
00:51:23,480 --> 00:51:26,200
Speaker 2: so probably fifty eight to sixty one. I got home

902
00:51:26,280 --> 00:51:29,280
Speaker 2: and it's been sitting on it was forty seven, forty

903
00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:32,760
Speaker 2: seven and those last few nights, I'm having a glass

904
00:51:32,800 --> 00:51:35,960
Speaker 2: of wine with dinner. Now, if I have wine before

905
00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:39,359
Speaker 2: bed would normally raise my heart rate overnight, So I'm

906
00:51:39,360 --> 00:51:41,680
Speaker 2: doing all that, but what it tells me is that

907
00:51:41,920 --> 00:51:45,920
Speaker 2: hole that's switching off, that presence and that social aspect

908
00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:47,840
Speaker 2: to my life. And it's like, well, there's your answer.

909
00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:50,160
Speaker 2: There's where you need to do the work.

910
00:51:50,640 --> 00:51:50,840
Speaker 4: You know.

911
00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:56,279
Speaker 1: What's like almost ironic here is that you want to

912
00:51:56,320 --> 00:52:03,680
Speaker 1: desperately hold on to that, but without the desperation. Yeah,

913
00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:08,320
Speaker 1: because the desperation desperate, Yeah, the desperation will fuck.

914
00:52:08,160 --> 00:52:13,320
Speaker 3: It up, right, Yeah, yeah, hold it lightly, Hold it lightly.

915
00:52:14,440 --> 00:52:17,280
Speaker 1: It's been a really interesting chat you too, doctor Jodie.

916
00:52:17,320 --> 00:52:20,680
Speaker 1: Before we go, you wanted to share something, so now

917
00:52:20,760 --> 00:52:23,120
Speaker 1: would be then I wanted.

918
00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:25,920
Speaker 4: To just in terms of what you were saying earlier

919
00:52:26,640 --> 00:52:30,319
Speaker 4: about the lung transplant. Tiff and I had the joy

920
00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:33,080
Speaker 4: of speaking at a VIC poll women's well being day

921
00:52:33,120 --> 00:52:35,160
Speaker 4: and we also got to listen to somebody to speak

922
00:52:35,160 --> 00:52:38,759
Speaker 4: about organ donation and I learned a lot and I

923
00:52:38,760 --> 00:52:42,399
Speaker 4: thought this was this would be, you know, a nice

924
00:52:42,400 --> 00:52:44,680
Speaker 4: opportunity to kind of just touch on that, to let

925
00:52:44,680 --> 00:52:48,160
Speaker 4: people know that we can, we have to opt into

926
00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:52,439
Speaker 4: organ donation, but our family members have the final say

927
00:52:53,080 --> 00:52:57,439
Speaker 4: on the day that that question might be asked. And

928
00:52:57,840 --> 00:52:59,960
Speaker 4: I learned this incredible. I won't know, I won't recall

929
00:53:00,040 --> 00:53:04,200
Speaker 4: the numbers. Maybe tif we'll remember more clearly. But for

930
00:53:04,239 --> 00:53:06,520
Speaker 4: your organs to be donated, you need to die in

931
00:53:06,640 --> 00:53:10,160
Speaker 4: hospital in the intensive care unit, where you're breathing and

932
00:53:10,200 --> 00:53:13,920
Speaker 4: your heart are already kind of really being supported. And

933
00:53:14,239 --> 00:53:17,560
Speaker 4: because the circumstances under which organs can be donated is

934
00:53:17,600 --> 00:53:21,799
Speaker 4: so specific, out of tens of thousands of people who

935
00:53:21,880 --> 00:53:24,600
Speaker 4: said yes to it, only about fifteen hundred people can

936
00:53:24,640 --> 00:53:28,160
Speaker 4: donate organs in the end, at the end of the

937
00:53:28,239 --> 00:53:31,120
Speaker 4: day because of that, and there are people's lives who

938
00:53:31,160 --> 00:53:34,040
Speaker 4: are just absolutely changed and transformed as a result. So

939
00:53:34,080 --> 00:53:37,160
Speaker 4: I thought, yeah, since you mentioned it earlier, I thought, probably,

940
00:53:37,400 --> 00:53:38,480
Speaker 4: you know, not something we like.

941
00:53:38,560 --> 00:53:39,160
Speaker 3: To think about.

942
00:53:39,680 --> 00:53:42,960
Speaker 4: But we're all, you know, walking each other home, as

943
00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:47,160
Speaker 4: my guest said this morning on in our conversation, and

944
00:53:47,560 --> 00:53:49,080
Speaker 4: the day will come for all of us, and I

945
00:53:49,080 --> 00:53:51,359
Speaker 4: think it's important for us to all think about and

946
00:53:51,520 --> 00:53:54,200
Speaker 4: let our family know what our wants are, what our

947
00:53:54,200 --> 00:53:56,680
Speaker 4: desires are around that wow.

948
00:53:56,800 --> 00:54:01,520
Speaker 2: And know what our families and see it as a legacy.

949
00:54:01,560 --> 00:54:04,520
Speaker 2: I remember when we listened to John speak on that

950
00:54:05,640 --> 00:54:08,360
Speaker 2: the legacy of him being able to gift that life

951
00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:11,960
Speaker 2: to people has given him something that helps with the

952
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:13,720
Speaker 2: grief of what he lost.

953
00:54:14,200 --> 00:54:16,399
Speaker 4: You're exactly right because you interviewed him, didn't you, Tiff,

954
00:54:16,520 --> 00:54:19,200
Speaker 4: So you're exactly right because it was with his wife,

955
00:54:19,239 --> 00:54:21,480
Speaker 4: wasn't it that he said, yes, and I think her

956
00:54:21,560 --> 00:54:22,680
Speaker 4: kidney went to a little boy.

957
00:54:22,719 --> 00:54:23,640
Speaker 3: And I'm going to get all.

958
00:54:23,640 --> 00:54:29,319
Speaker 4: Choked up, but yeah, it's very personal, it's very difficult.

959
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:32,319
Speaker 4: But yeah, we should let our families know because at

960
00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:33,719
Speaker 4: the end of the day, they are the ones that

961
00:54:33,800 --> 00:54:34,680
Speaker 4: get the final say.

962
00:54:34,719 --> 00:54:37,359
Speaker 3: Even if we've registered and ticked all the boxes, it's

963
00:54:37,440 --> 00:54:37,960
Speaker 3: up to them.

964
00:54:38,200 --> 00:54:40,960
Speaker 4: So yeah, so thank thanks Harps for the chance to

965
00:54:41,800 --> 00:54:43,120
Speaker 4: just raise that here.

966
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:45,520
Speaker 3: I must do it on my own podcast as well.

967
00:54:45,520 --> 00:54:50,160
Speaker 1: It's important, pleasure, it's a great message. I saw a

968
00:54:50,239 --> 00:54:54,680
Speaker 1: video the other day on when I shouldn't have been

969
00:54:54,719 --> 00:54:59,040
Speaker 1: scrolling but fuck it, And there was this dad. He

970
00:54:59,239 --> 00:55:03,759
Speaker 1: was probably my age, maybe a bit younger, and his

971
00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:06,680
Speaker 1: son had passed away. His son was in his twenties

972
00:55:07,440 --> 00:55:11,879
Speaker 1: and then he meant went and met the recipient who

973
00:55:11,920 --> 00:55:16,680
Speaker 1: had gotten his son's heart. Oh my god. And they

974
00:55:17,120 --> 00:55:20,560
Speaker 1: that organized this get together and they put a stethoscope

975
00:55:20,600 --> 00:55:26,839
Speaker 1: on the dad so he could listen to the son's heart. Wow. Yeah,

976
00:55:26,840 --> 00:55:31,800
Speaker 1: that was it. That was it. I was out. I'm like, fuck,

977
00:55:32,120 --> 00:55:35,000
Speaker 1: why did I It's like, you know those things that

978
00:55:35,040 --> 00:55:37,480
Speaker 1: are beautiful. It's like I'm glad I'm watching this, but

979
00:55:37,600 --> 00:55:42,759
Speaker 1: now I'm fucked for the next three minutes. Yeah anyway, Yeah,

980
00:55:42,880 --> 00:55:46,440
Speaker 1: Dr Jody, How do people find you? What's your show called?

981
00:55:46,640 --> 00:55:48,920
Speaker 1: Where can they connect with you? What's your web address?

982
00:55:49,520 --> 00:55:52,040
Speaker 1: Sell us a book or two? Ready set, no pressure, go.

983
00:55:54,080 --> 00:55:56,520
Speaker 4: Just if you go to my website. Dr Jodi Richson

984
00:55:57,120 --> 00:55:58,960
Speaker 4: dot com dot au Jody with an eye. But I

985
00:55:58,960 --> 00:56:01,480
Speaker 4: love how you say the name of my podcast halps,

986
00:56:01,520 --> 00:56:02,080
Speaker 4: go for it.

987
00:56:02,280 --> 00:56:02,960
Speaker 3: You know what to do?

988
00:56:03,800 --> 00:56:04,040
Speaker 2: Well?

989
00:56:04,120 --> 00:56:12,360
Speaker 1: Her podcast is called well Hello Anxiety. You need to

990
00:56:12,440 --> 00:56:14,600
Speaker 1: use me. You need to use me in your PRIMI

991
00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:16,120
Speaker 1: I do, I.

992
00:56:16,200 --> 00:56:16,719
Speaker 3: Do, I do.

993
00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:19,040
Speaker 4: I've got lots of ideas about some updates. So yeah,

994
00:56:19,040 --> 00:56:20,000
Speaker 4: I'll keep that in mind.

995
00:56:21,400 --> 00:56:25,040
Speaker 1: Well, we appreciate you, Tiff. Keep riding that bloody zen

996
00:56:25,120 --> 00:56:28,280
Speaker 1: train without the anxiety. Don't hold on to it desperately,

997
00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:31,760
Speaker 1: hold on to it lightly. Just between your your pinky

998
00:56:31,840 --> 00:56:34,359
Speaker 1: finger and whatever the one next to it's called maybe

999
00:56:34,400 --> 00:56:38,239
Speaker 1: your pinky finger and your thumb. Yeah, just that, yeah,

1000
00:56:38,360 --> 00:56:39,640
Speaker 1: like that? Like that? Perfect?

1001
00:56:39,719 --> 00:56:40,080
Speaker 2: All right?

1002
00:56:40,080 --> 00:56:43,240
Speaker 1: Everyone, love your guts. Thank you, Thanks Tiff, Thanks Jody,

1003
00:56:43,480 --> 00:56:44,200
Speaker 1: Thanks guys.

1004
00:56:44,239 --> 00:56:44,479
Speaker 3: Bye,