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Speaker 1: Appogiate production.

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Speaker 2: I think because it was such a healing thing for me.

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Speaker 2: It was like this overwhelming sense I had found what

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Speaker 2: felt true to me, like I had found what was

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Speaker 2: everything for me and so and I think there was

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Speaker 2: a lot of letting go of Dad's expectations of me too,

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Speaker 2: Like I think there was a massive part of that,

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Speaker 2: and I realized our dad would have just loved me

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Speaker 2: to see me happy. But I think I'd built up

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Speaker 2: so much of that religious side of him in my

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Speaker 2: mind that I really felt like there was a lot

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Speaker 2: of judgment.

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Speaker 1: Have you connected to him since? Oh?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, And he comes through a lot when I

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Speaker 2: reiki healings on my kids, Like he was very close

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Speaker 2: to my kids, and I think he found grandchildren his

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Speaker 2: way to parent in a way that he maybe couldn't

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Speaker 2: do with us, so they felt complete love from him him. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: he's a grandparent.

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Speaker 3: So just for reference, he's my great uncle, mine nana

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Speaker 3: who if you've listened to this podcast, who comes to

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Speaker 3: a lot.

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Speaker 1: I was really really close to your annie, Jen.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and so your dad and my nana were brother

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Speaker 3: and sisister and.

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Speaker 1: They were I've got goosebumps. It was only the two

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Speaker 1: of them.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and they were really close, really really really close.

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Speaker 2: And I can look back now and go, maybe there

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Speaker 2: were some stuff from Dad about judging what I was doing,

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Speaker 2: but I think at the end of the day, he

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Speaker 2: would have only wanted and he says that to me,

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Speaker 2: and he's come through on readings to me that he

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Speaker 2: just loves me and he has asked for my forgiveness

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Speaker 2: of him.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, so I think there's been a lot of that.

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Speaker 2: And then Rayki Chu said that really blew my mind.

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Speaker 2: Ray Kichwo was just like, I love this. I love it,

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Speaker 2: I love it, I love it. This is what I

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Speaker 2: want to do. I started getting my girlfriends to come in,

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Speaker 2: and I was doing it on my family, and I

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Speaker 2: think I just felt as a mum too, like this

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Speaker 2: way of helping my kids, yes, and for them, like

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Speaker 2: a help of releasing emotions, Like I feel like the

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Speaker 2: emotions would get stuck and they didn't have the understanding

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Speaker 2: of what they were to be able to release them,

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Speaker 2: and sometimes giving those emotions a name for them to

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Speaker 2: think about and go, oh, that's what it is. You're right, Like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: that kind of fits because I feel like the more

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Speaker 2: you have these emotions that you haven't worked through, it

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Speaker 2: becomes toxic in your body, and I feel like at

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Speaker 2: leads to like health issues. That's what I believe and feel.

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Speaker 2: So for me, I just felt so grateful that I

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Speaker 2: could do that for them and help them in their spaces.

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Speaker 3: For people listening. So your kids, I love them so much.

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Speaker 3: They're adults now, but because like, obviously I do reiki

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Speaker 3: on my kids, but they're a lot younger, So.

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Speaker 1: What is that like?

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Speaker 3: And obviously your kids are so beautiful and so receptive

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Speaker 3: and just like little earth angels, But what was that

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Speaker 3: like them seeing you go through this change of you

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Speaker 3: finding reiki and you being like, hey can I do

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Speaker 3: reiki on you?

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Speaker 1: Can I help?

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Speaker 3: You know?

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Speaker 2: They were so amazing, so amazing me. Oh, they're just

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Speaker 2: like you know, I think my daughter is I probably

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Speaker 2: do it not in her presence, like she's happy for

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Speaker 2: me to do it, but she's you know, she has

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Speaker 2: no desire to lie there while I do it, whereas

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Speaker 2: my son is different like he is would be really

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Speaker 2: to you know, and he'll often say, oh, Mom, can

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Speaker 2: I have a raiking session? But I think for them,

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Speaker 2: like I always say to them, they're very individual and

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Speaker 2: I feel like they're quite strongly connected with themselves, so

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Speaker 2: they're you know, I feel like they're very true to

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Speaker 2: themselves and what I believe in, and I feel like

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Speaker 2: that has helped me in my journey to be true

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Speaker 2: to myself and not have so much judgment around Oh

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Speaker 2: my god, so what you hippie like you believe in

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Speaker 2: crystals and making spirits and guides And but they will

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Speaker 2: say the opposite. They will say, Mum, seeing you become

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Speaker 2: more true with what you believe in has helped us

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Speaker 2: to be more authentic to ourselves. So I think, you know, like,

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Speaker 2: isn't that beautiful that you just have that with your

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Speaker 2: kids that you feel like they're helping you, but really

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Speaker 2: you're helping them at the same time. Like, no, again,

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Speaker 2: you have been a big part of that too. Me

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Speaker 2: Like you're just being your true self in that social

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Speaker 2: media where there is so much other stuff happening that's

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Speaker 2: hard to believe and can take you away from what

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Speaker 2: is reality. Like I think that's a really big thing.

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Speaker 1: But I think that's like even just speaking to the

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Speaker 1: stepping into your truth, and I mean it's something we

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Speaker 1: hear all the time, right, They're.

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Speaker 3: Like, you know, when you step into your truth going

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Speaker 3: to change.

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Speaker 2: Like a different person. That's just bullshit to a sense, literally,

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Speaker 2: like it just yeah, it's.

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Speaker 1: Not as simple as that.

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Speaker 3: But like and for me, I don't think about that

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Speaker 3: sort of thing, but like I think you forget that

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Speaker 3: it's kind of as truthful as it is not as

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Speaker 3: simple as that, you know, Like it's not as simple

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Speaker 3: as just like stepping into your truth and like problems

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Speaker 3: are solved, You've solved everything, because the concept of truth

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Speaker 3: is the fact that truth is messy. Truth doesn't have

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Speaker 3: like this perfectionist like art such. Yeah, and it's awkward,

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Speaker 3: you know, and it's like growing pains because a lot

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Speaker 3: of the time I was like, you know, how we

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Speaker 3: have this thing and you've probably experienced it where it's like, oh,

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Speaker 3: but I don't know everything yet.

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Speaker 1: I can't do it yet because I don't know. And

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Speaker 1: I know that's true, and it's.

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Speaker 3: Like, I'll fully step into my truth once I'm ready to.

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Speaker 2: You, and I know there's so much about that. I

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Speaker 2: just would look at other people and think, oh, just

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Speaker 2: not quite there yet. I'm not quite there yet, And

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Speaker 2: I think, yeah, there was so much I had to

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Speaker 2: heal before, and I think there was a lot that

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Speaker 2: I used to say to myself, but I think that's

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Speaker 2: a lot of ego talking that Oh look when I

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Speaker 2: step into this and once I'm really connected with Sauce,

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Speaker 2: oh you know, everything's going to change. And I actually

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Speaker 2: did have those thoughts Mickey, like I did have those

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Speaker 2: thoughts feeling like, yeah, i feel like an amazingly new

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Speaker 2: person and I'm gonna just feel like clarity about everything.

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Speaker 2: It's not truth, that's.

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Speaker 1: Not right, it's so true. I felt the same though.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's funny, isn't it. What is that like? And

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Speaker 2: I think, why do I think that wasn't good enough?

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Speaker 1: As I was?

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Speaker 2: Yeh in a sense, like what did I feel like

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Speaker 2: I had to be completely changed and rebooted? Yes I didn't.

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Speaker 3: But even like just the content of the expectations right,

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Speaker 3: and even like I was like, because like I always

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Speaker 3: like see things, but I didn't, you know, see a

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Speaker 3: dead person sitting in front of me, as though you are, like,

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Speaker 3: Nana are talking to me, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 3: Like Nana's not grabbing the fucking microphone and she's like,

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Speaker 3: I'm coming on your podcast. Nana would be like she'd

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Speaker 3: talk to me. In my mind, I see pictures of her,

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Speaker 3: I'd like, shit, the way that I would see things

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Speaker 3: was so different to just someone sitting in front of

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Speaker 3: me and being like, hello, I'm dead.

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Speaker 1: Can we chat?

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Speaker 3: And so I just kept expecting and kept waiting for like, oh,

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Speaker 3: I'll be a real medium when when I can fully

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Speaker 3: see this all like same thing, you know, all of

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Speaker 3: a sudden, I was like, I'm waiting for my third

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Speaker 3: eye to fucking click it.

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Speaker 1: The amount of times I would sit there.

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Speaker 3: Meditating, like they're like, open up your third eye, and

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Speaker 3: I'm like imagining this eye in the middle of my

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Speaker 3: forehead fucking open, and I was like, I'm ber again,

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Speaker 3: why doesn't it work? But I was seeing it the

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Speaker 3: whole time, but I was expecting it to look like

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Speaker 3: this big thing, and I looked like this new person

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Speaker 3: and felt like this new person, and like everything was

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Speaker 3: just multicolored and blah blah blah blah. But the thing is,

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Speaker 3: it's like the awakening isn't all of a sudden.

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Speaker 1: We see it.

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Speaker 3: It's just all of a sudden we're listening to it

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Speaker 3: and noticing it. It was there the whole time.

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Speaker 2: And don't block it, isn't it. I don't block it

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Speaker 2: like you just let it come. And I know that

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Speaker 2: I don't see things or hear things the way that

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Speaker 2: you do. And you know, sometimes it's kind of oh,

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Speaker 2: need actually know We're all individual, aren't We all have

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Speaker 2: individual experiences. So I think how we see it or

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Speaker 2: feel it is going to be completely different to somebody else.

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Speaker 2: And I think, and that was another thing I did.

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Speaker 2: I did a room spy with Kylie, which was probably

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Speaker 2: the biggest thing I could have done, She'll be honest,

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Speaker 2: because I feel like and there was part of that.

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Speaker 2: And I know I listened to your podcast with her

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Speaker 2: a couple of weeks ago, and I think that feeling

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Speaker 2: for me. Another big thing was clearing it for generations past,

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Speaker 2: Like I think that is so important, like that womb

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Speaker 2: clearing that womb space and that yeah, for generation se

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Speaker 2: And I feel like that what I've done for my

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Speaker 2: kids is the same, Like I've been able to clear

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Speaker 2: that for them that they don't hold onto that past trauma.

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Speaker 1: And how about for your mom?

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Speaker 2: Yes, and clearing up for mum. And you know, I

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Speaker 2: can almost see a shift in her.

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Speaker 1: You said that to me the other day, how you

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Speaker 1: seeing like a shift?

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Speaker 2: I can see a shift in her in her own

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Speaker 2: value of herself, which I think she's not quite always had,

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Speaker 2: Like she's a beautiful, giving, caring person, and I don't

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Speaker 2: know if she's always seen that side of herself. So

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Speaker 2: I feel like that's been a big thing for her too,

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Speaker 2: that I have seen in her. And I think I

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Speaker 2: just started that, like trying to think back to your

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Speaker 2: like what happened? What did I do? And I think

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Speaker 2: doing all these things to help myself, thinking hearing and

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Speaker 2: seeing things like maybe that you had done other people

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Speaker 2: had done, and going I can't think I can get

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Speaker 2: benefit out of that, and asking myself like really listening

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Speaker 2: to my intuition and saying would this benefit my high self?

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Speaker 2: Like yes, no, yeah, yes, yeah, and going that feels right,

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Speaker 2: and it kind of also going, well if it's not right,

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Speaker 2: I'll still be getting something out of it, yes, And

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Speaker 2: it would be little things like I think there was

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Speaker 2: a lot of fear too about with this is I'd

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Speaker 2: go on a walk and say, okay, Universe, can you

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Speaker 2: show me white feathers on my walk today, like to

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Speaker 2: help me really get over this, and but I'd be

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Speaker 2: holding on this fear and that I actually wouldn't see

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Speaker 2: a white feather what happens if I wouldn't see a

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Speaker 2: white feather, and that means I don't believe that, that

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Speaker 2: means that the university isn't looking after me. But I

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Speaker 2: would always see a white feather. Oh, I would say,

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Speaker 2: Mom and Dad where they lived, have these beautiful little

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Speaker 2: fairy rents. And I would say, oh, my walk today,

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Speaker 2: can I see a fairy rent? That'd be Dad to

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Speaker 2: see me. I'd see a ferry run like without fail,

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Speaker 2: and so like, I think these little things that help

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Speaker 2: me kind of get over that fear of me not

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Speaker 2: seeing what I wanted to see. And what if I

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Speaker 2: didn't see what I wanted to see? You know what

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Speaker 2: would that mean?

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Speaker 3: Yes, it is such a like journey. It is just

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Speaker 3: a journey of trust. And trust doesn't come like that.

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Speaker 3: Trust doesn't just go, oh, I'm gonna trust myself now

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Speaker 3: and it's.

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Speaker 1: Like problem solved.

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Speaker 3: Trust is like almost these tiny little risks that you

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Speaker 3: take with yourself, this tiny little like gambles or these

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Speaker 3: tiny little like I wonder if or like, I'm just

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Speaker 3: going to try and trust myself with this And it's

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Speaker 3: only like one small thing. And for every little time

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Speaker 3: that you put yourself in a situation where you have

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Speaker 3: to trust yourself and you allow yourself to do that

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Speaker 3: and then you get the evidence Okay, oh my god,

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Speaker 3: I trusted myself and it worked out. Or like you know,

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Speaker 3: as you said, like you know, show me a white feather. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and you're sitting there going whole time, and I do.

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Speaker 3: I still sometimes do that. I still sometimes have this

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Speaker 3: fear of like, oh, I'm not going to see a

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Speaker 3: white feather or like and it's just depending on the day.

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Speaker 3: But then you do and you trust yourself that little

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Speaker 3: bit more, or like you know, you ask for guidance

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Speaker 3: and you receive something. Okay, I trust myself a little

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Speaker 3: bit more. And it's just the more that you start

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Speaker 3: to trust those little things, all of a sudden that

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Speaker 3: compounds and you're the trust that you have for yourself

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Speaker 3: grows and then you're able to trust like huge things.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And I think that not dismissing them, like I think

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Speaker 2: we're so quick to dismiss stuff like oh, I'll become

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Speaker 2: a proper medium when such and such and such happens,

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Speaker 2: And I think you don't see the small things that

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Speaker 2: are happening along the way because you're kind of dismissing

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Speaker 2: them or putting to them desire, whereas if you kind

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Speaker 2: of look at everything and not dismiss it or things

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Speaker 2: along the way that might be happening to you, you

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Speaker 2: kind of get there that a little bit quicker instead

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Speaker 2: of blocking. So oh no, no, that's not right. I'm not

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Speaker 2: the same as such and such. That's not the same

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Speaker 2: as me. Yeah. I think that makes a big difference, totally.

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Speaker 2: Mhm