1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:07,281 Speaker 1: Appogiae production. 2 00:00:10,561 --> 00:00:11,481 Speaker 2: I need your advice. 3 00:00:12,161 --> 00:00:15,321 Speaker 1: Are you okay? What happened? Promise it won't be too much. 4 00:00:16,041 --> 00:00:16,601 Speaker 1: Bring it in. 5 00:00:17,921 --> 00:00:25,281 Speaker 2: Welcome to our Bestie segment, My gold, my girl, this 6 00:00:25,481 --> 00:00:26,241 Speaker 2: is the place for you. 7 00:00:26,721 --> 00:00:30,081 Speaker 1: Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Beautiful ladies, Welcome back 8 00:00:30,081 --> 00:00:32,841 Speaker 1: to our bestI segment of the week. Today is all 9 00:00:32,841 --> 00:00:35,281 Speaker 1: about a sister wound. I don't have a sister, but 10 00:00:35,361 --> 00:00:38,481 Speaker 1: I feel like sisters can relate to friends, cousins, any 11 00:00:38,480 --> 00:00:40,560 Speaker 1: females in your life. So Tiana, what have you got 12 00:00:40,601 --> 00:00:41,080 Speaker 1: for us today? 13 00:00:41,161 --> 00:00:44,560 Speaker 2: Definitely can All right, let's do it, hi, ladies, I 14 00:00:44,601 --> 00:00:48,200 Speaker 2: really need some advice. I hate my sister. Okay, I 15 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:51,321 Speaker 2: don't actually hate her, but I am so done. Sorry, 16 00:00:51,361 --> 00:00:54,041 Speaker 2: this is a long one. For context, I'm twenty five 17 00:00:54,081 --> 00:00:56,761 Speaker 2: and have a twin. We were always close growing up, 18 00:00:56,761 --> 00:00:59,481 Speaker 2: but we've been on very different paths. I've always been 19 00:00:59,481 --> 00:01:01,761 Speaker 2: gold driven, mature for my age, and clear about what 20 00:01:01,801 --> 00:01:04,121 Speaker 2: I want in life. My sister, on the other hand, 21 00:01:04,241 --> 00:01:05,961 Speaker 2: tends to wait for them to fall into place or 22 00:01:06,001 --> 00:01:08,841 Speaker 2: just copies me because it's easier. When I bought my 23 00:01:08,881 --> 00:01:11,041 Speaker 2: first car, she got the same one. When I started 24 00:01:11,081 --> 00:01:14,000 Speaker 2: dating my best friend now husband, she started dating hers, 25 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:17,440 Speaker 2: She's always compared herself to me. Fast forward. Now, I'm 26 00:01:17,441 --> 00:01:20,041 Speaker 2: married with two beautiful kids. I've been with my husband 27 00:01:20,121 --> 00:01:22,840 Speaker 2: for ten years and we're solid. I'm also a manager 28 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:25,361 Speaker 2: in a field I studied and am now deeply passionate about. 29 00:01:25,881 --> 00:01:28,881 Speaker 2: I've worked so hard to get where I am. But unfortunately, 30 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,601 Speaker 2: my life's sister looks very different. She has a failed 31 00:01:31,601 --> 00:01:33,801 Speaker 2: marriage and is raising a child with some minor medical 32 00:01:33,801 --> 00:01:36,121 Speaker 2: needs of her own. She is still in her first 33 00:01:36,121 --> 00:01:38,840 Speaker 2: retail job after eleven years, with no desire for growth. 34 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:42,280 Speaker 2: I genuinely have sympathy that she didn't choose this path, 35 00:01:42,441 --> 00:01:44,441 Speaker 2: but she has had so much for port from our 36 00:01:44,481 --> 00:01:46,840 Speaker 2: parents and from me in the past. But she walks 37 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:50,121 Speaker 2: all over everyone and treats them terribly. She expects everyone 38 00:01:50,161 --> 00:01:52,721 Speaker 2: to drop everything for her, even when she's clearly capable 39 00:01:52,761 --> 00:01:56,241 Speaker 2: of managing herself. She constantly overreacts to minor comments and 40 00:01:56,281 --> 00:01:59,281 Speaker 2: snaps of people, often taking things way out of context. 41 00:01:59,441 --> 00:02:01,481 Speaker 2: She even yelled at my kids during family dinner for 42 00:02:01,561 --> 00:02:03,561 Speaker 2: being too loud, then back pedaled so that she could 43 00:02:03,561 --> 00:02:06,201 Speaker 2: still seem like the cool aunt. We're all afraid of 44 00:02:06,201 --> 00:02:08,481 Speaker 2: how she'll react if we stand up for ourselves. This 45 00:02:08,561 --> 00:02:11,041 Speaker 2: has been going on since we were teenagers. My parents 46 00:02:11,081 --> 00:02:13,601 Speaker 2: always say she doesn't mean it, she just has anxiety 47 00:02:13,641 --> 00:02:16,521 Speaker 2: she's projecting, and yes, that may be true, but it 48 00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:20,401 Speaker 2: doesn't justify yelling at or belittling her family. It's getting exhausting. 49 00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:23,001 Speaker 2: When she does come to me for advice about motherhood, 50 00:02:23,121 --> 00:02:25,921 Speaker 2: my weight loss, or my career, she always deflects. I 51 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:28,321 Speaker 2: get comments like, you're just so lucky to have money, 52 00:02:28,441 --> 00:02:31,481 Speaker 2: or you just bounce back after pregnancy, or at least 53 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:33,921 Speaker 2: you have a husband to support you. I lost thirty 54 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,841 Speaker 2: killers after my second baby. My marriage has high and lows, 55 00:02:37,281 --> 00:02:39,401 Speaker 2: so has my career. But none of this was luck. 56 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:41,601 Speaker 2: It's taken so much work, and I'm really proud of 57 00:02:41,641 --> 00:02:43,761 Speaker 2: the life that I've built and truths to be told, 58 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:46,961 Speaker 2: I'm actually really happy, but of victim mentality and complete 59 00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:50,240 Speaker 2: lack of accountability. I'm so over it. Now. She wants 60 00:02:50,281 --> 00:02:52,841 Speaker 2: to reconnect and spend more time together, but honestly, she 61 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:55,720 Speaker 2: drains me. My mood shifts when we're in the same room. 62 00:02:55,881 --> 00:02:58,361 Speaker 2: So here's what I'm asking. Do I keep quiet for 63 00:02:58,361 --> 00:03:00,681 Speaker 2: the sake of family peace, or do I say something 64 00:03:01,001 --> 00:03:02,560 Speaker 2: I don't want to cause drama? But I'm at the 65 00:03:02,561 --> 00:03:05,001 Speaker 2: point where resentment is growing, and I'd rather speak up 66 00:03:05,081 --> 00:03:07,001 Speaker 2: from a place of love and kindness before I hit 67 00:03:07,001 --> 00:03:09,120 Speaker 2: my limit and it comes out in frustration or anger. 68 00:03:09,561 --> 00:03:12,041 Speaker 2: What would you, ladies do? Please help exactly what you 69 00:03:12,121 --> 00:03:12,921 Speaker 2: just said? I love this. 70 00:03:13,081 --> 00:03:15,321 Speaker 1: I love the end because you've looked at both options. 71 00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:17,361 Speaker 1: But I think you've already made your decision that last one, 72 00:03:17,401 --> 00:03:20,281 Speaker 1: Like you'd rather speak from kindness and love and also 73 00:03:20,281 --> 00:03:22,721 Speaker 1: your own boundaries as to what you're going to allow 74 00:03:22,721 --> 00:03:25,721 Speaker 1: and accept because it's impacting you, which then impacts your kids, 75 00:03:25,721 --> 00:03:28,521 Speaker 1: your family. You don't have your energy, your mood, and 76 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:30,481 Speaker 1: you're better off to have it all there. And then 77 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:33,241 Speaker 1: if she can't receive that or isn't willing to meet you, 78 00:03:33,321 --> 00:03:36,001 Speaker 1: then the boundaries have to get firmer. Unfortunately, just because 79 00:03:36,001 --> 00:03:38,601 Speaker 1: they're family, it doesn't mean you have to be super 80 00:03:38,601 --> 00:03:41,601 Speaker 1: close to them. That life is not always thicker you know, No, 81 00:03:41,841 --> 00:03:42,441 Speaker 1: absolutely not. 82 00:03:42,521 --> 00:03:44,521 Speaker 2: And if it was somebody else who weren't family, like, 83 00:03:44,561 --> 00:03:47,041 Speaker 2: how would you react? How would you respond? We are 84 00:03:47,161 --> 00:03:49,041 Speaker 2: much more lenient and much more patient when it comes 85 00:03:49,081 --> 00:03:51,041 Speaker 2: to family, but that can also result in a lot 86 00:03:51,081 --> 00:03:54,721 Speaker 2: of times us really pushing through our own limitations and 87 00:03:54,761 --> 00:03:56,921 Speaker 2: boundaries just so that we can keep the peace because 88 00:03:56,921 --> 00:03:57,441 Speaker 2: they're family. 89 00:03:57,601 --> 00:04:01,401 Speaker 1: Family, don't bendy, Yeah yeah, absolutely, then resentment grows absolutely. 90 00:04:01,481 --> 00:04:03,521 Speaker 2: And I think maybe what it sounds like to me 91 00:04:03,681 --> 00:04:06,241 Speaker 2: is that you've already done the people pleasing, the sweeping, 92 00:04:06,841 --> 00:04:09,361 Speaker 2: you know, the suppressing, not worrying about how you feel, 93 00:04:09,401 --> 00:04:11,201 Speaker 2: and you know, just letting her do her thing. But 94 00:04:11,241 --> 00:04:13,161 Speaker 2: that's clearly not working for you, and I think that 95 00:04:13,321 --> 00:04:16,080 Speaker 2: is something to pay attention to. And you know, you 96 00:04:16,161 --> 00:04:18,201 Speaker 2: know that resmbment builds when you don't speak up. So 97 00:04:18,761 --> 00:04:20,641 Speaker 2: I truly believe that this is an opportunity for a 98 00:04:20,641 --> 00:04:24,041 Speaker 2: fresh start and a clean slate of Okay, she's willing 99 00:04:24,041 --> 00:04:26,080 Speaker 2: to come back now, Okay, cool. But in order for 100 00:04:26,201 --> 00:04:27,881 Speaker 2: us to have a clean slate, we need to talk 101 00:04:27,921 --> 00:04:30,161 Speaker 2: about a few things first before we can even consider 102 00:04:30,201 --> 00:04:34,561 Speaker 2: moving forward with a relationship. And oftentimes, what I've noticed 103 00:04:34,561 --> 00:04:37,320 Speaker 2: in my past is whenever I've felt drained around somebody, 104 00:04:37,561 --> 00:04:39,200 Speaker 2: it's because I feel like I have to show up 105 00:04:39,201 --> 00:04:41,841 Speaker 2: in a way that abandons myself. I feel drained because 106 00:04:41,841 --> 00:04:44,401 Speaker 2: I abandon myself. Whereas if I were to stay in 107 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:46,961 Speaker 2: that same environment and I set boundaries, I actually don't 108 00:04:46,961 --> 00:04:49,601 Speaker 2: feel drained anymore. So I wonder if there's a conversation 109 00:04:49,721 --> 00:04:52,080 Speaker 2: you can have with yourself around what is it that 110 00:04:52,121 --> 00:04:54,760 Speaker 2: you're doing when you're around her that is abandoning your needs, 111 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,760 Speaker 2: abandoning what you truly think and believe, and actually start 112 00:04:57,801 --> 00:05:00,361 Speaker 2: implementing those things when you're surrounded by her, so that 113 00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:02,841 Speaker 2: you don't have to feel like I'm absorbing her energy 114 00:05:03,241 --> 00:05:05,241 Speaker 2: or I'm having to suppress what's important to me me 115 00:05:05,761 --> 00:05:07,681 Speaker 2: and not show up in a way that I want 116 00:05:07,681 --> 00:05:09,720 Speaker 2: to show up as because I'm trying to keep the peace. 117 00:05:10,041 --> 00:05:12,400 Speaker 1: I think from what I'm hearing in her submission to 118 00:05:12,561 --> 00:05:16,161 Speaker 1: is that when they have spoken up, she yells, she deflects, 119 00:05:16,161 --> 00:05:19,281 Speaker 1: she projects. So that's why she doesn't show up politically, 120 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:21,841 Speaker 1: because it's like her kids are around. It affects your 121 00:05:21,961 --> 00:05:24,281 Speaker 1: energy of it. Obviously we don't know your sister, but 122 00:05:24,281 --> 00:05:26,321 Speaker 1: if she's someone that would respond better to like a 123 00:05:26,361 --> 00:05:29,760 Speaker 1: written letter or like a voice note or something where 124 00:05:29,761 --> 00:05:31,961 Speaker 1: she's then got time to process and come back to you, 125 00:05:32,161 --> 00:05:34,520 Speaker 1: I like that FaceTime or face to face going for 126 00:05:34,561 --> 00:05:36,721 Speaker 1: a walk, like I wonder if you figure out what 127 00:05:36,761 --> 00:05:39,401 Speaker 1: would be the most comfortable and like open space for 128 00:05:39,481 --> 00:05:41,801 Speaker 1: you guys, to have a conversation. I love the sandwich 129 00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:44,281 Speaker 1: approach too. It's like, I love your fire, I love 130 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:46,281 Speaker 1: your passion. I love that you're so opinionated, something I 131 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:51,121 Speaker 1: really love about you. If she's such tearing, however, sometimes 132 00:05:51,201 --> 00:05:54,321 Speaker 1: it could come across XYZ, which makes me feel XYZ. 133 00:05:54,761 --> 00:05:56,520 Speaker 1: So then when we're together, I don't feel safe and 134 00:05:56,521 --> 00:05:57,801 Speaker 1: I don't feel like I can open. 135 00:05:57,681 --> 00:05:58,041 Speaker 2: Up to you. 136 00:05:58,201 --> 00:06:01,001 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's created cracks and distrust in the relationship. For 137 00:06:01,081 --> 00:06:05,041 Speaker 1: us to rebuild from here, I would need XYZ for you. 138 00:06:05,121 --> 00:06:06,801 Speaker 1: Love how you meet me there, love that, and then 139 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:09,441 Speaker 1: it's like she won't feel as attacked and criticized. 140 00:06:09,521 --> 00:06:11,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, or even like there could be a way that 141 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:14,241 Speaker 2: you pre frame the conversation too, of like, yeah, in 142 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:17,921 Speaker 2: the past, I've noticed you've behaved like this, and it 143 00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:20,121 Speaker 2: makes me feel a little bit scared to bring this in. Yes, 144 00:06:20,281 --> 00:06:22,320 Speaker 2: do you think that we could have a conversation where 145 00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:25,201 Speaker 2: it doesn't result in us getting angry at each other, 146 00:06:25,241 --> 00:06:26,841 Speaker 2: But if we could just hold space for each other, 147 00:06:26,921 --> 00:06:29,201 Speaker 2: because I'd love to have a conversation and really not 148 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:31,640 Speaker 2: this out together. Yes, but I think we need to 149 00:06:31,681 --> 00:06:33,801 Speaker 2: be able to communicate back and forth for that to happen. 150 00:06:34,201 --> 00:06:36,921 Speaker 1: And if she's someone that over talks to a talking 151 00:06:36,961 --> 00:06:38,921 Speaker 1: stick's good. I know it sounds silly. Oh yeah, some 152 00:06:38,961 --> 00:06:41,321 Speaker 1: people that have, like if you've got too fiery personalities, 153 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:43,761 Speaker 1: two very opinionated people, or if you're just in a 154 00:06:43,801 --> 00:06:45,880 Speaker 1: lot of conflict. A coach once taught me this, like 155 00:06:45,961 --> 00:06:48,121 Speaker 1: have a talking stick, and whoever's got the stick, no 156 00:06:48,121 --> 00:06:50,001 Speaker 1: one else can talk. It's like you've got to be quiet, 157 00:06:50,081 --> 00:06:52,761 Speaker 1: like everything out, and then when they're finished, they can 158 00:06:52,801 --> 00:06:55,161 Speaker 1: hand the talking stick over and it's your turn to talk. Yeah, 159 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:57,601 Speaker 1: just prevents anyone over to and be like, oh but 160 00:06:57,721 --> 00:06:58,681 Speaker 1: you said bad da dah. 161 00:06:58,841 --> 00:06:59,721 Speaker 2: Yes, it's like I. 162 00:06:59,641 --> 00:07:01,361 Speaker 1: Haven't finished what I'm saying and now I've lost my 163 00:07:01,401 --> 00:07:03,321 Speaker 1: train of thought, and like, now don't feel respected by 164 00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:05,321 Speaker 1: you and you're just listening to respond instead of actually 165 00:07:05,361 --> 00:07:08,440 Speaker 1: listening to hear what I'm saying. If she's a bit 166 00:07:08,481 --> 00:07:10,401 Speaker 1: fiy like that might be some You can make it 167 00:07:10,441 --> 00:07:13,561 Speaker 1: playful too, definitely, No, get a kid's freaking I don't know, 168 00:07:13,681 --> 00:07:16,561 Speaker 1: flute or something. Is that talking stick? I love that 169 00:07:16,641 --> 00:07:18,281 Speaker 1: the fluod that's fun. 170 00:07:18,481 --> 00:07:20,681 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. I think with situations like this, 171 00:07:20,881 --> 00:07:22,721 Speaker 2: when you've done something one way your whole life and 172 00:07:22,761 --> 00:07:24,361 Speaker 2: it's still not working. And it's been like this since 173 00:07:24,401 --> 00:07:27,121 Speaker 2: you're teenagers. That's when you know things like it's time 174 00:07:27,121 --> 00:07:29,241 Speaker 2: to change, it's time for something to change. And I 175 00:07:29,241 --> 00:07:31,761 Speaker 2: truly believe that it only takes one person in our 176 00:07:31,841 --> 00:07:34,881 Speaker 2: dynamic of two for the dynamic to change. And I 177 00:07:34,921 --> 00:07:36,601 Speaker 2: believe that because I've done it with my mum and 178 00:07:36,641 --> 00:07:40,441 Speaker 2: I've had both with family members. She's not willing, yes, true, 179 00:07:40,521 --> 00:07:44,041 Speaker 2: but we can lead in going first. And I think 180 00:07:44,081 --> 00:07:46,161 Speaker 2: that the more that somebody is exposed to that, the 181 00:07:46,201 --> 00:07:49,001 Speaker 2: more that they naturally take on what it is the 182 00:07:49,001 --> 00:07:51,201 Speaker 2: way that you are. You know, they may not be willing, 183 00:07:51,241 --> 00:07:53,321 Speaker 2: they may not be ready to go there yet, but 184 00:07:53,361 --> 00:07:55,921 Speaker 2: by that constant exposure, I do think that it naturally 185 00:07:55,921 --> 00:07:58,641 Speaker 2: impacts them, whether they consciously choose for it to or not. 186 00:07:58,721 --> 00:08:01,041 Speaker 1: I agree with what you're saying, but also like, it's 187 00:08:01,121 --> 00:08:03,641 Speaker 1: very draining when you're constantly leading and constantly trying to 188 00:08:03,641 --> 00:08:06,161 Speaker 1: do it. So of course you just know limits, of course, 189 00:08:06,201 --> 00:08:08,401 Speaker 1: and some people like for me, if it was you 190 00:08:08,521 --> 00:08:11,081 Speaker 1: or Steve, it's worth the constant trying because I value 191 00:08:11,081 --> 00:08:13,321 Speaker 1: the relationship so much For someone who I'm not as 192 00:08:13,361 --> 00:08:15,401 Speaker 1: connected with or I feel like they don't has much respect, 193 00:08:15,481 --> 00:08:17,241 Speaker 1: or I feel like they're never going to get there 194 00:08:17,281 --> 00:08:19,001 Speaker 1: because I'm like, oh my gosh, I tried. Some times 195 00:08:19,041 --> 00:08:21,721 Speaker 1: I'll be like, oh, I'm exhausted, and this is taking 196 00:08:21,721 --> 00:08:23,801 Speaker 1: away from other people that important to me. Now, So 197 00:08:23,801 --> 00:08:25,321 Speaker 1: it's like you know your limits. 198 00:08:24,961 --> 00:08:27,121 Speaker 2: Definitely, and then try and then it's yeah, you're right. 199 00:08:27,201 --> 00:08:30,921 Speaker 2: It's choosing your battles, choosing what's worth the energy what's not. 200 00:08:31,281 --> 00:08:33,481 Speaker 2: And then that's where the internal boundaries have to come 201 00:08:33,521 --> 00:08:36,441 Speaker 2: in of Okay, is this argument right now worth me 202 00:08:36,481 --> 00:08:39,721 Speaker 2: speaking up, worth me trying, worth me communicating, or is 203 00:08:39,761 --> 00:08:41,881 Speaker 2: this one of those moments where I know she's totally 204 00:08:41,921 --> 00:08:44,921 Speaker 2: committed to misunderstanding me and she's not willing to hear me, 205 00:08:45,241 --> 00:08:47,561 Speaker 2: she's not willing to meet me in the middle. Then 206 00:08:47,601 --> 00:08:50,081 Speaker 2: you go, okay, this is the moment where I pull back. Yeah. 207 00:08:50,121 --> 00:08:52,321 Speaker 1: So, and it doesn't mean in family situations, because I 208 00:08:52,361 --> 00:08:53,641 Speaker 1: know a lot of people that have this. It's like, 209 00:08:53,681 --> 00:08:57,001 Speaker 1: oh but Christmas and birthdays and you know, events and 210 00:08:57,041 --> 00:08:59,401 Speaker 1: stuff where you all get together. It doesn't mean you 211 00:08:59,441 --> 00:09:01,561 Speaker 1: have to completely avoid them or be rude or like 212 00:09:01,641 --> 00:09:03,921 Speaker 1: have that yucking energy. You can still be civil. You 213 00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:06,801 Speaker 1: can be, so don't have to over extend yourself to 214 00:09:06,801 --> 00:09:09,201 Speaker 1: the point where it's training your energy and impacting how 215 00:09:09,201 --> 00:09:09,561 Speaker 1: you are. 216 00:09:09,481 --> 00:09:11,841 Speaker 2: With your kids. Yeah, they just only get so much 217 00:09:11,841 --> 00:09:14,681 Speaker 2: of you. Yeah know, this relationship stops here, can only 218 00:09:14,681 --> 00:09:16,521 Speaker 2: go so far. Yes, they can only go so deep. 219 00:09:16,561 --> 00:09:19,041 Speaker 2: So you just some people you do have to accept 220 00:09:19,081 --> 00:09:20,921 Speaker 2: that's where they're at. No, everyone's at the same place 221 00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:23,081 Speaker 2: as you. And obviously mentally she hasn't done as much 222 00:09:23,081 --> 00:09:25,961 Speaker 2: self development and she's not as self aware, and she's 223 00:09:26,041 --> 00:09:28,521 Speaker 2: quite dysregulated by the sounds and also going through a 224 00:09:28,561 --> 00:09:31,201 Speaker 2: really hard time. And don't condone the behavior. But yeah, 225 00:09:31,241 --> 00:09:33,401 Speaker 2: she's obviously not able to meet you where you're at 226 00:09:33,481 --> 00:09:35,521 Speaker 2: right now. And sometimes it is acceptance of like that's 227 00:09:35,521 --> 00:09:37,441 Speaker 2: where they're at. Yeah, they've all got capacity. 228 00:09:37,681 --> 00:09:39,721 Speaker 1: Yeah, I've got people in our lives that we are like, oh, 229 00:09:39,801 --> 00:09:41,241 Speaker 1: they're just not going to go any further than this. 230 00:09:41,401 --> 00:09:43,241 Speaker 1: We do love you from a fark and I will 231 00:09:43,281 --> 00:09:45,761 Speaker 1: always be here for you. Yeah, but it's like there's 232 00:09:45,841 --> 00:09:50,041 Speaker 1: boundaries for sure, small doses definitely more. 233 00:09:50,281 --> 00:09:53,441 Speaker 2: No, it's true. Yeah, it's a tough one. Family is 234 00:09:53,481 --> 00:09:55,761 Speaker 2: a tough one. But I truly believe you can be 235 00:09:55,801 --> 00:09:58,681 Speaker 2: willing to honor yourself in family, you can do it 236 00:09:58,761 --> 00:10:01,201 Speaker 2: everywhere else, to true, everywhere else will be easy because 237 00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:02,161 Speaker 2: this is the hardest place. 238 00:10:02,241 --> 00:10:04,041 Speaker 1: Yeah, actually most plugged in biologically. 239 00:10:04,201 --> 00:10:06,441 Speaker 2: Yeah, and you just know that that's supposed to be 240 00:10:06,601 --> 00:10:09,721 Speaker 2: your place of ultimate safety. You know, this is my foundation, 241 00:10:09,881 --> 00:10:11,641 Speaker 2: This is you know, if I don't have anybody else, 242 00:10:11,641 --> 00:10:13,761 Speaker 2: this is where I'm supposed to lean on for the 243 00:10:13,761 --> 00:10:14,241 Speaker 2: most part. 244 00:10:14,561 --> 00:10:15,001 Speaker 1: Roland. 245 00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:17,361 Speaker 2: So yeah, I think if you can be willing to 246 00:10:17,401 --> 00:10:19,641 Speaker 2: honor yourself and that, I think you'll be really proud 247 00:10:19,681 --> 00:10:21,601 Speaker 2: of yourself. And then you'll get to a point where 248 00:10:21,841 --> 00:10:24,121 Speaker 2: it doesn't matter how she's behaving or what she's choosing 249 00:10:24,121 --> 00:10:27,681 Speaker 2: for herself. You'll know in her own timeline, she'll be ready. 250 00:10:28,001 --> 00:10:29,801 Speaker 2: That's not in my control. The only thing I can 251 00:10:29,881 --> 00:10:32,801 Speaker 2: control is what I choose, how I treat her, how 252 00:10:32,841 --> 00:10:34,641 Speaker 2: I treat the rest of my family, and how I 253 00:10:34,761 --> 00:10:37,241 Speaker 2: choose to let this impact me emotionally and physically. 254 00:10:37,521 --> 00:10:40,241 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, absolutely love that would love an update how 255 00:10:40,241 --> 00:10:43,361 Speaker 1: you approach this, how it goes down, how she receives it. Yeah, 256 00:10:43,521 --> 00:10:45,281 Speaker 1: have another submission of love to give an update. 257 00:10:45,361 --> 00:10:47,001 Speaker 2: Yeah, if you already know what to do, girl. 258 00:10:46,881 --> 00:10:48,921 Speaker 1: Yes, you got this. See you guys, will see you 259 00:10:48,961 --> 00:10:49,761 Speaker 1: next tomorrow. 260 00:10:49,801 --> 00:10:50,761 Speaker 2: Bye tomorrow.