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Speaker 1: Coming up on Relatables. So one how do I bring

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Speaker 1: this up without sounding like a psycho as I don't

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Speaker 1: want him to know I've stooped again? And two tips

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Speaker 1: on how to stop myself from snooping? Why is she

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Speaker 1: like I when I read this initially and chose it?

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Speaker 1: So I think that snooping and finding nothing is yes, bad,

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Speaker 1: but snooping and finding something is that even bad?

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Speaker 2: Relatable The Relatables podcast is hosted by myself, Audie Clark

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Speaker 2: aka Mummy, and my partner and crime mister Jake Craig

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Speaker 2: aka Daddy and Jake. I possibly have had the worst

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Speaker 2: day ever. I found out the worst thing of my

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Speaker 2: life and I'm hoping I'm correct. I want you to

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Speaker 2: confirm it because I do know you know, so anyone

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Speaker 2: on Patreon knows that I've started dieting and what that

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Speaker 2: means is no more gyg.

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Speaker 1: Oh shit, no more.

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Speaker 2: Goosbird White Goberts. Oh that place, that place is a

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Speaker 2: special place in my heart. And we've cut before, and

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Speaker 2: I know we've looked at the nutritional facts about GYG.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I used to go on the all time.

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Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh, go look up the nutritional facts.

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Speaker 2: So I can account for it in one of my

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Speaker 2: days and eat less food, and I swear the calories

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Speaker 2: have gone up. Really, yeah, this is what's going.

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Speaker 1: On in my line right now. I know off my

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Speaker 1: head what these are. Okay, how much did you think

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Speaker 1: NATO's were the size we get with the meat and everything,

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Speaker 1: eleven hundred? Really eleven hundred calories? I thought it was

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Speaker 1: eight hundred. What about a bowl? What was a bowl?

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Speaker 1: Burrito bowl? Yeah, the size we would get that was

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Speaker 1: about eight hundred.

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Speaker 2: What just fucking mitigates my whole fucking thing.

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Speaker 1: And I know and I know that if you get

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Speaker 1: a nacho fries it's like ony ten, nacho fries ony twenty.

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Speaker 1: There you go. See, I fucking remember what? So so

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Speaker 1: you thought so you saw that and you're like, it's

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Speaker 1: going up.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I thought I thought Nancho's was like eight hundred,

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Speaker 2: Nacho fries was nine hundred, and the bowl was like

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Speaker 2: five hundred.

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Speaker 1: Nah, hasn't gone off a I think I was being healthy.

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Speaker 1: Maybe maybe what you've looked at in the past, like

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Speaker 1: there's they have many versions of all them.

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Speaker 2: Oh maybe I did.

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Speaker 1: Maybe you want to like the mini men too. Yeah, Well,

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Speaker 1: I didn't read it day. What I've still didn't really,

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Speaker 1: it's still a bad day because you thought there were

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Speaker 1: less than they're not. They never were.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so I realized, like.

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Speaker 1: Wait, so every time you've gone in and got like,

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Speaker 1: I know, a couple hundred calories and heaps, but it's

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Speaker 1: it's a couple of hundred every time you've gone in,

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Speaker 1: even just like when you're not dieting or anything, you've

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Speaker 1: gotten a nachos and you're like, ah, calories, I'm good. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's has been like eleven hundred. Yeah, that's what I've

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Speaker 1: thought the whole time. Well, it's simple. It was just

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Speaker 1: nacho like the nacho chips, chicken, a bit of guark.

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Speaker 1: I don't actually know where the calories come from, and

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Speaker 1: then some cheese and when I was cutting I used

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Speaker 1: to not put cheese on it.

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Speaker 2: I'm thinking I was being this health freak.

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Speaker 1: Will get backs. I don't know where the calories. Where's

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Speaker 1: eleven hundred calories from? That's like half my intake. You

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Speaker 1: know what it's got it? I think it's the chips. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, but then the dorito chips. Why is that

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Speaker 1: so many calories? Corn chips? That fuck off hunk. I've always.

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Speaker 2: This has also been one of my problems. Why is

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Speaker 2: popcorn so popcorn is corn corn? And they had no

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Speaker 2: calories in them corn chips calorie dance.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the oil.

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Speaker 2: The oil.

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Speaker 1: We'll just cooking and what popcorn's cooked in? Popcorn isn't

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Speaker 1: cooked in anything apart from popcorn is the fucking the

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Speaker 1: corn kernel microwave.

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Speaker 2: They don't microwave the big bags. They sure they have

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Speaker 2: like an oven or something.

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Speaker 1: Wait, oh you wait, you mean well? Yeah, they would

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Speaker 1: cook it and you can cook them on the stove,

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Speaker 1: just add heat. Yeah, imagine there was a big market

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Speaker 1: fucking point a laser. One would thought.

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Speaker 2: I thought they juiced it up somehow, like a bit

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Speaker 2: of oil.

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Speaker 1: They probably that flavor. Yeah, the bags of popcorn like

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Speaker 1: light and tasty in Australia. We well, I guess I'm

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Speaker 1: still sad, but also my bad. How long no goods?

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Speaker 1: What's this? How long is this lasting?

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Speaker 2: Well, I've got twelve weeks. I'm not gonna last telve weeks.

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Speaker 1: Twelve weeks is three months, a three month cut.

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Speaker 2: I'm an addict. Yeah, I'll see, I'm gone to eight weeks,

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Speaker 2: but I'm going to count for it and get one

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Speaker 2: in every two weeks.

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Speaker 1: I think I thought, yeah, you just skip them here.

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Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, or too skip my whole day at

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Speaker 2: this rate with Yeah, put some low calorie options out

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Speaker 2: there with the chips.

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Speaker 1: Ah what no, what could you do low calorie because

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Speaker 1: you could get you can get a brito bowl without

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Speaker 1: the beans.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and without the cheeks. But I just go home

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Speaker 2: and cook a chicken and rice exactly.

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Speaker 1: See.

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Speaker 2: I like the woring something about like you know when

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Speaker 2: you go to maccas and you smell the Maca's taste

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Speaker 2: and you get a burger and it smells like Macas, Yes,

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Speaker 2: chosen Nato fries. That's what you get from when you

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Speaker 2: go to the bowl.

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Speaker 1: You're dearly daling on like mad Max territory. And I'm

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Speaker 1: not fucking I'm not dieting or anything. I can tell

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Speaker 1: I'm going to start, Yeah, just getting guyg Whenever I

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Speaker 1: know you're coming, yeah, I know you were at.

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Speaker 2: We'll have worth have a business meeting here or there,

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Speaker 2: and oh Cat, I'll just go walk on the stairs

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Speaker 2: for an hour or something.

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Speaker 1: I don't think that's.

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Speaker 2: Yes there an hour on the stairs will be like

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Speaker 2: six hundred and fifty seven hundred cover is yeah, it

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Speaker 2: is actual. Yes, what hearts are sweat Like I don't know,

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Speaker 2: that's just still heart rate. But yeah, yeah, I'll keep

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Speaker 2: you guys updated if if I break and I get.

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Speaker 1: Can you actually can you? Could you please do it?

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Speaker 1: Let's say, like try do no gyg for twelve weeks,

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Speaker 1: Like that's a genuine hard thing for you, Like you

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Speaker 1: haven't known. Do you want me to be unhappy? No,

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Speaker 1: you'll be happy with yourself because once you have done

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Speaker 1: your cut gyg.

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Speaker 2: But I've got to find the balance between looking good

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Speaker 2: and enjoying my food.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but then what's the I understand.

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Speaker 2: What is my happy place?

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Speaker 1: But when?

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Speaker 2: But when you like you know how people like Dad say,

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Speaker 2: like the happiest moment of their life is like when

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Speaker 2: they're in a when they have a kid, or they're

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Speaker 2: in a garage fixing their car. Mine would be when

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Speaker 2: I had the kid. And then slightly on top of that, GYG,

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Speaker 2: do you think having a kid is going to be

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Speaker 2: the bestday.

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Speaker 1: Of your life? Eat? You? Before we get into what

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Speaker 1: we want to get into, can we set a budget

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Speaker 1: how much we're going to spend on Christmas? Because like

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Speaker 1: out of the businesses, money doesn't feel like it's ours

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Speaker 1: even so what's the budget? It is Christmas present? Christmas presents? Okay,

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Speaker 1: I actually have an idea for you already. I have

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Speaker 1: an idea for you. I've already spent a bit of money,

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Speaker 1: so I don't know what.

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Speaker 2: A hundred bucks.

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Speaker 1: A hundred bucks, that's pretty good, okay, sweet easy, happy

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Speaker 1: with that. Yeah, I've spent seventeen so far already got

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Speaker 1: you something.

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Speaker 2: I've spent like, I don't know to check what I got,

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Speaker 2: maybe like thirty on mehit. Let's I see things and

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Speaker 2: think of.

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Speaker 1: You, mate, That's what happened to me. I saw something

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh, he's gonna love this.

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Speaker 2: Alrighty, So let's jump into today's episode and we're hitting

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Speaker 2: you guys with another dilammas because they're getting flooded and

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Speaker 2: their absolute juice and we love to hear your stories

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Speaker 2: and help everybody out.

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Speaker 1: There was too many good ones. We had to get

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Speaker 1: all of them, ouaday exactly.

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Speaker 2: So you want me to go first? Yeah, Dialamma, I

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Speaker 2: need a man's perspective. I'm twenty seven and the guy

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Speaker 2: I'm dating is thirty one. We're in a place in

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Speaker 2: our lives where we both have good careers, a mortgage,

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Speaker 2: and are surrounded by people who are getting engaged, married,

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Speaker 2: or even having babies. We met through an app and

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Speaker 2: have really hit it off. We've had a few TIFFs

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Speaker 2: here and there, but have found our resolution every single time.

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Speaker 2: We have seen each other at a minimum of two

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Speaker 2: times per week for three months now and do everything

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Speaker 2: couples do, from the day to day grocery runs to

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Speaker 2: the intimacy. He's met my friends and I've met his.

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Speaker 2: My problem is he is yet to ask me to

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Speaker 2: be his girlfriend, and he's not alluding to not being

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Speaker 2: ready to make it official, and I'm worried I'm wasting

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Speaker 2: my time. He's a in quotes former fuck boy. I

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Speaker 2: think it is emphasis on forma yeah, but I worry

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Speaker 2: maybe his fuck boy error isn't behind him. When I

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Speaker 2: ask him about why we're not official yet, he says

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Speaker 2: things like this is just how I am. I take

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Speaker 2: my time.

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Speaker 1: Oh.

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Speaker 2: He's alluded to wanting to introduce me to his family

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Speaker 2: or have a double date with his brother, but no

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Speaker 2: plans have been made. I've just been told when you know,

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Speaker 2: you know, And the people around me seem to be

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Speaker 2: concerned that he isn't ready or hasn't made it official yet,

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Speaker 2: So am I wasting my time? Ps? I love the

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Speaker 2: podcast and your instag reels. You two crack me up.

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Speaker 2: Thank you very much, thank you.

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Speaker 1: Okay, oh okay, okay, okay, okay, cool ah uffy, very tough.

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Speaker 2: It's so hard to tell.

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Speaker 1: That line, he said, rubbed me the wrong way though,

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Speaker 1: didn't it. I like to take my time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's sort of like, let's just go off the flow.

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Speaker 2: It's just another way of saying that, isn't it.

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Speaker 1: It is. It's a rewording of it.

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Speaker 2: He's smart, this guy.

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Speaker 1: Will we can dissect it dissected. No one thing I

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Speaker 1: want to say is I noticed? So she said, he's

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Speaker 1: hinted at the fact that he wants to do wants

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Speaker 1: me to meet his parents and also go on a

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Speaker 1: double date with his brother and obviously his brother's spouse. Yes,

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Speaker 1: and I and but it hasn't happened yet. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I'm guilty of it. And one thing I like about

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Speaker 1: Beth is that it's not something she gets mad about,

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Speaker 1: but it's something that she will It's like she'll call

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Speaker 1: me out on and and I quite like it. And

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Speaker 1: it's the fact that, like in the in a moment,

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Speaker 1: like I don't do it all the time, but like

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Speaker 1: let's say I have maybe said like, yeah, I want

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Speaker 1: to go on a double date with Joanna, me and

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Speaker 1: U Joanna and a boyfriend, just as like the second

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Speaker 1: the argument, I can't think of an actual example, but

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Speaker 1: I'll do I do it, and I'm like, you know,

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Speaker 1: like in like I want to do it, but you don't.

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Speaker 1: I say it in the moment, and I'm like to myself,

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Speaker 1: you know, yeah, it sounds like a fun thing to do,

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Speaker 1: what a great gesture, But then I don't organize it,

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Speaker 1: and so I now I'm getting better at it now.

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Speaker 1: But it's like there's this whole thing of like, I mean,

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Speaker 1: don't say it if you're not going to do it.

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Speaker 2: Action speak louder than word.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so it's like you don't like Beth or this

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Speaker 1: girl sitting in the dilemma, shouldn't have to ask again

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Speaker 1: like no, are we going to do this thing?

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Speaker 2: But basically what he's saying is like a bottomless gesture.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's an empty gesture.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's an empty gesture because I do the same thing.

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Speaker 2: That's one of the tips I've sort of like picked

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Speaker 2: up for me in a relationship for a year is

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Speaker 2: like I used to do that at the start, like

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Speaker 2: say like I don't know, maybe I'll I'd love to

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Speaker 2: take you on a date this weekend. Yeah, and then

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Speaker 2: I don't do it. I don't do it, and I

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Speaker 2: might catch up like, oh fuck, I forgot I said that,

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Speaker 2: and I'd DoD it three weeks later, yeah, or something

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Speaker 2: like that. Or I say I'd love to do it

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Speaker 2: and I don't plan it on last minut I'd try

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Speaker 2: and like scramble together.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Whereas like recently, I've really tried to be a man

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Speaker 2: of my word and if I say something, I actually

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Speaker 2: do it. So the fact that he's saying those things

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Speaker 2: but he's thirty one, I think we picked this up

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Speaker 2: at twenty four. It's a good point, like good point,

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Speaker 2: but basically what he said there means nothing because he

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Speaker 2: hasn't done it. You can, you can say it as

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Speaker 2: much as you want, but if he doesn't do it, it

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Speaker 2: means nothing.

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Speaker 1: Like I think, yeah, you can say I want you

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Speaker 1: to meet my parents and I want to go on

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Speaker 1: a double date with my brother and his girlfriend. Do

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Speaker 1: you if you did, then you'd do it. I think like,

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Speaker 1: once you say it it's kind of something that you

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Speaker 1: like then need to plan. Yeah, it's properly.

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Speaker 2: It's as simple as like I just run a marathon.

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Speaker 2: It's like me saying like I'd love to run a marathon,

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Speaker 2: or me running a marathon.

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Speaker 1: Well, his thing is I would love to run a

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Speaker 1: marathon too. I'm not going to do it. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: just like something I'm saying I want to do. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but I'm not screaming to the rooftops I would love

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Speaker 1: to run a marathon because everyone would be like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: go do it. You're gonna fucking do it, Like.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, actually speak so much louder than words, So I think,

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Speaker 2: who doesn't want to be that person that's like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: ive run a marathon. The fact that he said that

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Speaker 2: and he hasn't done it, and then he said, like,

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Speaker 2: let's just see what do you say, Let's just see

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Speaker 2: where things go.

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Speaker 1: I like to take things slow. I kind of like

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Speaker 1: the thought of kind of calling people out because it's like,

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Speaker 1: obviously you're doing boyfriend girlfriend things and all that type

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Speaker 1: of stuff, and it's like if I could if you

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Speaker 1: guys weren't doing boyfriend girlfriend things at all, and you

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Speaker 1: weren't seeing each other of a minimum two times a

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Speaker 1: week and you weren't going to grocery shopping and all that.

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Speaker 1: Like if it was just like you were seeing him

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Speaker 1: for one hour a week and you guys were sleeping

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Speaker 1: together and then you'd leave or he'd leave, like there'd

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Speaker 1: be no cuddling afterwards, then that's obviously just like a

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Speaker 1: link up situationship type thing, and that's going to be

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Speaker 1: a relationship. But what you guys doing our boyfriend girlfriend

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Speaker 1: things and to say I like to take things slow

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Speaker 1: and leave you hanging is very rude.

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Speaker 2: What guys like to do is we love the boyfriend

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Speaker 2: activities boyfriend girlfriend activities, but we really get scared at

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Speaker 2: that commitment girlfriend face, really get scared of it. And

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Speaker 2: I think what Jake said, call him out on his bullshit. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you can't be acting like this, saying these things and

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Speaker 2: not doing them.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you could either call him out in his bullshit

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Speaker 1: by calling him out, or you could stop acting like

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Speaker 1: a girlfriend. Yeah, like it's one of the other and

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Speaker 1: be like because it's like it's the same thing. Of

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Speaker 1: like there's that there would us to be a funny

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Speaker 1: trend of like people a girl would be filming herself

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Speaker 1: like stirring a pot, Yeah, cooking dinner obviously, as like

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Speaker 1: the joke, and then it's like her and be the

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Speaker 1: writing on it would be like me doing WiFi things

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Speaker 1: but then looking at my hand and realizing there's no

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Speaker 1: ring on it. Yeah, it's kind of like, if you

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Speaker 1: want WiFi stuff, then you put a ring on it.

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Speaker 1: If you want girlfriend stuff done, put a ring on it.

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Speaker 1: If you want to be a boyfriend, Like, if you

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Speaker 1: want to do boyfriend things for me, you have to

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Speaker 1: fucking ask me to be a girlfriend exactly.

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Speaker 2: You deserve that.

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Speaker 1: And it sounds a slight bit.

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Speaker 2: Toxic because it's like an alder native, I guess, but

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Speaker 2: I think it's really putting yourself first, and especially because

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Speaker 2: he's thirty one, you shouldn't have to do this, but say, like,

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Speaker 2: I'm not going to act like your girlfriend if you're

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Speaker 2: not planning on me being your girlfriend anytime soon, thirty one, yeah,

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Speaker 2: like just own up to it. And like, I think

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Speaker 2: a lot of people often think that, like you're still

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Speaker 2: allowed to get to know someone when they're your girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: See that way, that was a big I think that's

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Speaker 1: a big misconception of like I want to get to

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Speaker 1: know you before I get make even you can still

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Speaker 1: you don't have to fully know someone. Yeah you have,

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Speaker 1: Cassidy been together for a year. I guarantee you in

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Speaker 1: two months time, you're boys likely gonna find out something

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Speaker 1: new about it.

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Speaker 2: Undred percent new shit about Beth all the time. And

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Speaker 2: I know there isn't a good thing. It's not a

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Speaker 2: good thing to put a time frame on anything. But

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Speaker 2: like you're wasting your time. Yeah, like you shouldn't be

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Speaker 2: wasting your time. I think three months is a perfect

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Speaker 2: time him to grow some balls. Yeah and ask you

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Speaker 2: out make Yeah, fucking call him out. Okay, mine has

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Speaker 2: a title. You're confused, I'm confused a love triangle. I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna try and keep this short, but oh boy, is

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Speaker 2: the long version more interesting and could have its own podcast.

336
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Speaker 2: I moved to a new city to do my master's degree.

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Speaker 2: Before this, I was in my single hot girl era

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Speaker 2: slash working on myself post breakup phase. But that phase

339
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Speaker 2: is long over and I'm ready for something serious with someone.

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Speaker 2: My first week at UNI, I saw the most gorgeous man,

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Speaker 2: so I had to speak with him. I made my

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Speaker 2: moves and we're talking. But I told him I'm into

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Speaker 2: going on dates, not just hooking up and casually hooking

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Speaker 2: up at that. Luckily, he was transparent in that moment

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Speaker 2: and told me he's fresh out of a long term

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Speaker 2: relationship in brackets. I should have run then and all

347
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Speaker 2: of this could have been avoided, but I have no regrets.

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Speaker 2: He took me on dates and is so lovely. I've

349
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Speaker 2: never connected with someone so fast. But eventually, not too

350
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Speaker 2: far in, he said he couldn't handle it because of

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Speaker 2: his breakup.

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Speaker 1: I respected that. Weeks later he asks to hang out

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Speaker 1: as friends and we did, but it was too much

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Speaker 1: for me. Weeks after that, I ask him to hang

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Speaker 1: out as friends and it's great. A few days later,

356
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Speaker 1: we hang out his friends again, but he makes moves.

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Speaker 1: This pisses me off, and I've avoided him since because

358
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Speaker 1: it led to so much confusion. A few days later,

359
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Speaker 1: a new guy asks for my number and takes me

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Speaker 1: on a date. He's wonderful and it's going well and

361
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Speaker 1: definitely headed towards what I want. Also, he's so hot.

362
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Speaker 1: But Guy number one keeps asking to hang out with me,

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Speaker 1: and I keep making excuses not to see him. I'm

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Speaker 1: a little confused because I know I shouldn't hang out

365
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Speaker 1: with him. Out of respect for the new guy. But

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Speaker 1: me and the new guy aren't labeled as anything yet,

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Speaker 1: what the hell do I do? It's too soon with

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Speaker 1: the new guy to cut off Guy number one because

369
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Speaker 1: I'm taken. But also I know that if the roles

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00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,920
Speaker 1: were reversed, I would be put off by something like this. Wait,

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Speaker 1: she answered the question.

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Speaker 2: She is answered question just at the end of that

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Speaker 2: last little put off by this. I think there's a

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Speaker 2: massive misconception in dating that like if there's no label

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Speaker 2: that were official or where exclusive, that I can see

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Speaker 2: other people. I'm a big advocate for one at a time.

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Speaker 1: I was gonna say, yeah, at what point in time?

378
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Speaker 1: It's because like almost like I'm not saying this girl

379
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Speaker 1: is disrespectful in any way, right, I don't know she's not.

380
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:38,840
Speaker 1: But what I'm like, you're saying, like you're right with

381
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Speaker 1: the misconception of like when you're seeing someone and it's

382
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:45,000
Speaker 1: early days, but then someone that you used to see,

383
00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:47,560
Speaker 1: who you're you're friends with, but like not really friends

384
00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:50,520
Speaker 1: because you've slept together, but like they reach out and

385
00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:52,680
Speaker 1: you don't want to be rude because like they haven't

386
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:55,280
Speaker 1: done anything to you. It just didn't work out, Like

387
00:17:55,359 --> 00:17:57,400
Speaker 1: at what point, how many weeks in with this new

388
00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:59,960
Speaker 1: person do you owe them the respect? In my opinion,

389
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Speaker 1: you owe them the respect from the start to not be.

390
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Speaker 2: So I think from going on a date with any

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Speaker 2: person you other than the respect to not be seeing

392
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Speaker 2: anyone else. Yeah, I think one date, not this facts

393
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Speaker 2: conversation where you're like, so we're exclusive. I think you

394
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:14,720
Speaker 2: should be exclusive by going on a.

395
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Speaker 1: Date, I think yeah. And also, you don't have to

396
00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:22,359
Speaker 1: put a label on exclusivity. I think it should be

397
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:26,359
Speaker 1: implied in the terms of like, I'm going on dates

398
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:30,120
Speaker 1: with you, I'm not going on dates with anyone else. Therefore,

399
00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:34,200
Speaker 1: to me, this is exclusive, right. I hope you're mature

400
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:37,159
Speaker 1: enough to also think it's exclusive. Yeah, Like, if you

401
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:39,760
Speaker 1: feel the need to voice it one hundred percent, then

402
00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:42,639
Speaker 1: you're on the same page. But also, it's like, just

403
00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:44,639
Speaker 1: because they haven't said to you I want to be

404
00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:46,680
Speaker 1: exclusive and not see anyone else, doesn't mean that you

405
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,560
Speaker 1: should go question seeing someone else.

406
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:54,920
Speaker 2: Yeah. And to me, dating right, you can't fully connect

407
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:58,399
Speaker 2: with someone if you're sleeping with someone else.

408
00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:02,159
Speaker 1: Yeah, or even you know, going and hanging out with

409
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,800
Speaker 1: someone you used to like, Yeah, Like, I mean that's

410
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:06,280
Speaker 1: in my opinion, but it's an opinion thing.

411
00:19:06,359 --> 00:19:09,080
Speaker 2: I think definitely that might seem a little bit like

412
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,960
Speaker 2: right field, but honestly, you should be getting to know

413
00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:14,120
Speaker 2: this person and give them the full benefit of doubt

414
00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:16,520
Speaker 2: and your full attention, not eighty percent, and then the

415
00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:18,480
Speaker 2: guy you're sleeping with gets to the last twenty percent

416
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:20,960
Speaker 2: of you. I know, Like she seemed like she was

417
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:24,600
Speaker 2: putting her like she was placing a bet, and she

418
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:27,800
Speaker 2: was putting her money in different pools with boy one

419
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:31,640
Speaker 2: and boy two, which seems logical because you're like, it's

420
00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:35,040
Speaker 2: not this hasn't been long enough to jump ship and

421
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:38,200
Speaker 2: go to boy two. Yeah, but I think every single

422
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:39,800
Speaker 2: time you should have one hundred percent of your money

423
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:41,560
Speaker 2: with one boy at a time and one girl at

424
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:41,880
Speaker 2: a time.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a good point. Like let's say Boy one

426
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,080
Speaker 1: gets pissed, Oh soo, Boy one's already off the cards. Yeah,

427
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,199
Speaker 1: boy one, but let's just for the sake of it

428
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:51,760
Speaker 1: to say he's not. Yeah, the boy one. You know,

429
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:54,080
Speaker 1: he gets pissed off that you don't want to see

430
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,879
Speaker 1: him because you're starting to see someone else, right, And

431
00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:59,919
Speaker 1: he's like, well fuck you then, but then you know

432
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,040
Speaker 1: you've gone fully into one door and you're like, fuck it,

433
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:04,160
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna look back. But then it doesn't work

434
00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:08,399
Speaker 1: out with boy two, all right, if boy one can't

435
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:10,919
Speaker 1: fucking grow the fuck up, Like if boy one still

436
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:14,160
Speaker 1: doesn't ever want anything to do with you after boy two,

437
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:17,440
Speaker 1: I think that's his problem. Yeah, Like he should look

438
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:20,480
Speaker 1: at it as like, fuck, she's like respected that guy

439
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,160
Speaker 1: so much that she didn't even want to like out

440
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:25,040
Speaker 1: with me. Man, that's like someone that's someone I want

441
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:25,320
Speaker 1: to be with.

442
00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:28,720
Speaker 2: It's props to your character. Yeah, And like, don't get

443
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,879
Speaker 2: me wrong, I understand that it's nice to be wanted

444
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:32,560
Speaker 2: by more people.

445
00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:34,199
Speaker 1: It's flattering. Fuck yeah it is.

446
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:38,400
Speaker 2: It's really nice. But like Jake just said, it's admirable

447
00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:41,720
Speaker 2: to say, hey, no, I don't know if this is

448
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:43,400
Speaker 2: going to go anywhere with boy one, but I'm giving

449
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:45,600
Speaker 2: it the best chance possible to do so.

450
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:49,520
Speaker 1: Plus, boy two's hot, like you said, yeah, she's fucking hot.

451
00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:52,360
Speaker 2: You shouldn't all be about looks, man, But yeah, exactly,

452
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:54,840
Speaker 2: so I think give boy one the full benefit of

453
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:57,239
Speaker 2: the doubt. Fuck boy too off. Also because boy one off,

454
00:20:57,320 --> 00:21:00,640
Speaker 2: keep boy two. Yeah, I say the opposite. Yeah, fuck

455
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:04,359
Speaker 2: the one you met first off. Yeah, next dilemma A

456
00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:07,399
Speaker 2: short and sweet dilemma for you today, But I feel

457
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:09,639
Speaker 2: like I don't have enough experience to work it out.

458
00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:12,400
Speaker 2: I'm an eighteen year old girl in her first year

459
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:16,040
Speaker 2: of UNI and have never ever been in any sort

460
00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:20,320
Speaker 2: of relationship or talking stage. I'm pretty sure no guy

461
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:23,240
Speaker 2: has ever liked me full stop. I wanted to pause

462
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:26,600
Speaker 2: there and say one hundred percent of guys like you before, Yeah,

463
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:30,159
Speaker 2: I definitely had a crush on you. Recently, things have

464
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:32,760
Speaker 2: been getting a bit interesting between me and a guy

465
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:35,520
Speaker 2: I met at a Halloween party through a mutual friend

466
00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:37,760
Speaker 2: and we got to talking. We chatted a bit and

467
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:40,240
Speaker 2: had some great moments. But by the amount of eye

468
00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:43,239
Speaker 2: contact and banter we had, I'm beginning to think that

469
00:21:43,359 --> 00:21:46,840
Speaker 2: maybe he might be attracted to me. My main issue

470
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:48,840
Speaker 2: is that I wasn't able to get any of his

471
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:52,239
Speaker 2: contact details, and I don't see him or any of

472
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:55,440
Speaker 2: his mutual friends. I'm not sure when the next time

473
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:58,200
Speaker 2: I will see him again. My question for you, guys

474
00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:01,639
Speaker 2: is how do I go about an initiating something and

475
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:03,879
Speaker 2: get in contact to be able to see him again.

476
00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:06,320
Speaker 2: We've only spoken for an hour or so in a

477
00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:09,320
Speaker 2: group setting. I don't want to see him forward or

478
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 2: stalkersh But I really think this guy is super attractive

479
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:15,480
Speaker 2: and we had so much in common with similar interest

480
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:17,720
Speaker 2: in life goals. Thanks so much for your help, keep

481
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:20,000
Speaker 2: up the hard work with the pod. Thank you.

482
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:26,680
Speaker 1: Damn. I want to say she wasn't questioning it, which

483
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:30,399
Speaker 1: was great, But I think like, if in your gut

484
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:33,439
Speaker 1: you think that someone finds you attractive because of what

485
00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:37,400
Speaker 1: they're doing, they probably do. Like they definitely do. I think,

486
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:38,680
Speaker 1: so to trust that gut.

487
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:42,679
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I was even going to say, because you

488
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:45,679
Speaker 2: were young, I often got stuck in that, like you

489
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:48,359
Speaker 2: didn't want to be seeming too forward or coming on

490
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:52,800
Speaker 2: too strong. Fuck that. Go find out I'm sure you

491
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:55,080
Speaker 2: know his name. Just follow him straight on Instagram, message

492
00:22:55,119 --> 00:22:56,480
Speaker 2: him and be like, hey, I had a really good

493
00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:58,640
Speaker 2: time at the Halloween party last week. Do you want

494
00:22:58,640 --> 00:22:59,439
Speaker 2: to go on a date sometime?

495
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:02,359
Speaker 1: I have second that day, Bob.

496
00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:05,159
Speaker 2: I could never do it at eighteen, but now, like

497
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:06,520
Speaker 2: if I was single and a girl did that to

498
00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:09,000
Speaker 2: me after I just had this report a party and

499
00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:11,639
Speaker 2: you both obviously like each other, He's probably not going

500
00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:13,080
Speaker 2: to do anyth because he's a little scaredy cat and

501
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:15,359
Speaker 2: he's eighteen and he's a boy. Yeah, but you listen

502
00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:18,520
Speaker 2: to us do it and then avoid all this confusion

503
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:20,119
Speaker 2: where you don't know if he likes him or not,

504
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,320
Speaker 2: put all the cards on the table at once, and

505
00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:23,160
Speaker 2: then find out.

506
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:27,239
Speaker 1: I remember my first kiss. The girl I kiss had

507
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:27,959
Speaker 1: to initiate it.

508
00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:28,280
Speaker 2: Yeah.

509
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:30,280
Speaker 1: Same, I thing type of He's like, are you going

510
00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:32,440
Speaker 1: to kiss me? I was like, I've been thinking about

511
00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:37,440
Speaker 1: it for the last three years. I haven't just been

512
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:40,640
Speaker 1: thinking about it, I've been dreaming about practicing. Yeah.

513
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:43,879
Speaker 2: I remember, what did you do to your first ever kiss? Like,

514
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:45,879
Speaker 2: not a hookup? Did you practice in front of the mirror?

515
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:49,640
Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah, I've kissed. I've kissed my hand a few times.

516
00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:54,320
Speaker 1: I kissed the mirror a few times. My first kiss

517
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:57,359
Speaker 1: was a peck. Same. Yeah, obviously who goes straight for

518
00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:02,200
Speaker 1: a hookup? That'd be dangerous evan peck with the girlfriend

519
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:02,680
Speaker 1: at the time.

520
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:04,080
Speaker 2: Yeah.

521
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:10,639
Speaker 1: My my first proper makeout was I was sixteen. I

522
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:11,359
Speaker 1: think I was late.

523
00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:13,040
Speaker 2: I think I was about sixteen.

524
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:14,399
Speaker 1: I was shit scared of what you have to do

525
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:16,240
Speaker 1: with your tongue. Same.

526
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:17,760
Speaker 2: I was like, here's the thing, the same.

527
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:19,359
Speaker 1: I thought I wasn't going to be able to breathe

528
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:25,119
Speaker 1: same stop. I also was shit scared about what do

529
00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:27,280
Speaker 1: you do with your tongue? What if I suck? Yeah?

530
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:31,560
Speaker 1: I still remember it and it and like since that day,

531
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:34,679
Speaker 1: haven't changed my style. Really, no, fuck, you must be

532
00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:37,080
Speaker 1: shit and no, because it was good.

533
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:39,400
Speaker 2: I'm kidding so.

534
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:41,959
Speaker 1: Again, I think I've said it a million times, Like

535
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:44,880
Speaker 1: I don't. I think a good kiss just means both

536
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:46,359
Speaker 1: people have to kiss the same way.

537
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,480
Speaker 2: I was about to say that, like, imagine your first

538
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:50,359
Speaker 2: kiss is with like two people who are kiss in

539
00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:53,359
Speaker 2: a completely different fashion, and you think that's what kissing's like.

540
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:57,920
Speaker 1: I'd hate kissing, yeah, because I've kissed girls like when

541
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,439
Speaker 1: single and we don't have the same kissing style, and

542
00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:03,400
Speaker 1: I'm like, with that, that's suck, Like what's going on here? Yeah,

543
00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:06,399
Speaker 1: like teeth shouldn't be clashed, Yeah, like let's be Did

544
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:08,399
Speaker 1: you think that was good? Yeah? Yeah? Sometimes I'm like

545
00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:11,080
Speaker 1: was that bad for you too? I wish I could

546
00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:13,080
Speaker 1: say that just to just to know, because it's like

547
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:14,720
Speaker 1: I don't want to be in their cocky Like I

548
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:16,560
Speaker 1: know I'm good kissing because I've had good kisses before.

549
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:21,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, But basically going back to the dilemma. Put all

550
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:24,640
Speaker 2: the cards out there and get the answer. Don't waste

551
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:27,440
Speaker 2: your time and find out it's gonna be. It's so

552
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:29,640
Speaker 2: much better not to waste your time. And also he's

553
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:31,280
Speaker 2: not going to make a move, so do it yourself.

554
00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:35,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, this one's pretty juicy. So I nineteen years

555
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:38,280
Speaker 1: have been dating my boyfriend twenty one years for a

556
00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:42,720
Speaker 1: while now. We spend every night together except for Monday nights.

557
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:46,600
Speaker 1: I have an issue of going through his phone every

558
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:51,960
Speaker 1: now and then, never saw anything except for this one time.

559
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:56,840
Speaker 1: I went on his safari and through the search history,

560
00:25:57,520 --> 00:26:01,800
Speaker 1: I found his only fans account and he was subscribed

561
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:08,600
Speaker 1: to sixteen Fucking Girls sixteen. He was subscribing to girls

562
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:14,040
Speaker 1: and paying quite a bit, but but he wasn't messaging

563
00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:20,520
Speaker 1: them or paying for private stuff, only the subscription. Me

564
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:25,000
Speaker 1: being me, So me being me went through all of

565
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,680
Speaker 1: it and ended up taking his card off of it

566
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:31,280
Speaker 1: because I thought it was funny. A week passed and

567
00:26:31,359 --> 00:26:34,280
Speaker 1: I realized that I know his password, so I logged

568
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:38,359
Speaker 1: into his account on my phone and was regularly looking

569
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:42,640
Speaker 1: at it. He added his card back on after spending

570
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:45,880
Speaker 1: one night apart. The next day I checked he had

571
00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:50,280
Speaker 1: subscribed to two new girls and had paid and had

572
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:53,520
Speaker 1: paid for a full naughty tape for a bit of money,

573
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:58,359
Speaker 1: and had messaged another one back and forth because I

574
00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:01,760
Speaker 1: still think I'm funny, subscribed from all of them and

575
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:04,639
Speaker 1: took his card off again. The only reason that I

576
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:07,440
Speaker 1: haven't brought this up is because he caught me stooping

577
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:09,600
Speaker 1: one time and said it was an invasion of privacy

578
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:11,399
Speaker 1: and I can ask, and I can just ask to

579
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:13,840
Speaker 1: go on his phone, which I get one hundred percent.

580
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:16,120
Speaker 1: We have had issues in the past about not having

581
00:27:16,119 --> 00:27:18,840
Speaker 1: sex for weeks and weeks and it's happening again, and

582
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:21,159
Speaker 1: I'm worried that I'm not good enough for him, and

583
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:24,159
Speaker 1: that's why he's going to OnlyFans. So one, how do

584
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:26,479
Speaker 1: I bring this up without sounding like a psycho, as

585
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:28,159
Speaker 1: I don't want him to know I've stooped again? And

586
00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 1: two tips on how to stop myself from snooping? Why

587
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:36,119
Speaker 1: is she like I when I read this initially and

588
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:40,840
Speaker 1: chose it, so I think that snooping and finding nothing

589
00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:44,840
Speaker 1: is yes, bad, but snooping and finding something is that

590
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:48,800
Speaker 1: even bad? It's still an invasion of his privacy? Yeah,

591
00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:52,400
Speaker 1: I know, but like it's not right, but like, if

592
00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:55,439
Speaker 1: you snoop and find out someone's cheating, the snoop was

593
00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:56,840
Speaker 1: worth it, I know.

594
00:27:57,000 --> 00:28:00,000
Speaker 2: And because she's a baddie, let's give her the benefit

595
00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:01,160
Speaker 2: for the doubt and help her out.

596
00:28:01,359 --> 00:28:03,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I think because you snooped and found

597
00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:04,680
Speaker 1: something breakup worthy.

598
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:07,560
Speaker 2: Like I was hoping you were going to say, was

599
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:10,760
Speaker 2: on safari and found his pawn, like his classic porn up.

600
00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:13,000
Speaker 1: Now I was going to be like, ah, it's easy.

601
00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:14,520
Speaker 1: If that's what it was, I would I wouldn't have

602
00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:16,359
Speaker 1: even brought it on the episode. Mate, this is too juice.

603
00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:19,080
Speaker 1: This is but sixteen girls.

604
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 2: Wait, oh and it's no like and for like, can

605
00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:25,760
Speaker 2: I please add up how much it cost and send

606
00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:26,920
Speaker 2: us in how much he spending a month?

607
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:28,960
Speaker 1: I'm intrigued because like I actually have never paid for it,

608
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:31,200
Speaker 1: only fans. How much do we have.

609
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:34,320
Speaker 2: Friends that have no remember back? Like the first couple episodes,

610
00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:37,800
Speaker 2: I got done with Brass's like I got I subscribed

611
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:39,800
Speaker 2: for free and then I had I paid, Like I

612
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:41,560
Speaker 2: think it was like one hundred and twenty bucks or something.

613
00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:44,560
Speaker 2: I remember one month by accident and it was that

614
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:46,960
Speaker 2: sounds like it wasn't by accident, but actually was by accident.

615
00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:51,120
Speaker 1: He subscribed on purpose, but it was free. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

616
00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:51,680
Speaker 1: I would admit it.

617
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:53,840
Speaker 2: I was single at the time. So I want to know,

618
00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:58,600
Speaker 2: like if this guy's will make me feel better about myself, he's.

619
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:00,880
Speaker 1: Spending more than me I spent nah, na, no, no,

620
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:03,560
Speaker 1: I want to know, like what's like for a girl

621
00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:06,920
Speaker 1: that has an only fans, right, What's what is she

622
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:08,600
Speaker 1: charging for just a monthly subscription?

623
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:09,880
Speaker 2: Because I don't know, it's all different.

624
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:12,080
Speaker 1: It's like Patreon. It's like different people charge different. But

625
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:15,840
Speaker 1: like I can tell you right now, you know they're

626
00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:18,920
Speaker 1: not charging five bucks a month, like it's more. I

627
00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:21,920
Speaker 1: think some are okay fair, but maybe like the subscription

628
00:29:22,120 --> 00:29:23,280
Speaker 1: isn't like full nude.

629
00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:26,120
Speaker 2: The big dogs are like twenty thirty, forty, I think, yeah,

630
00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:28,000
Speaker 2: like something like that. But he's he's got sixteen. It's

631
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:28,640
Speaker 2: got to be up there.

632
00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:32,000
Speaker 1: It's just sixteen at five dollars each. What's sixteen times

633
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,560
Speaker 1: five plus two more? He's got eighteen. Now, yeah, let's

634
00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:36,360
Speaker 1: just do some quick mass. I don't know what that is.

635
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:44,360
Speaker 2: H ninety bucks a month, but it's always oh again,

636
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:48,120
Speaker 2: I mean, look, I gotta say, let's let's firstly say

637
00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:50,760
Speaker 2: that that is completely not on when you're in a relationship.

638
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:53,720
Speaker 1: Yeah no, I like, I very much disagree with paying

639
00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:57,080
Speaker 1: for it. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's especially when

640
00:29:57,120 --> 00:30:00,600
Speaker 1: it's free. But like that's beside the point good it's doing.

641
00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:02,360
Speaker 1: She was questioning whether or not she's good enough, which

642
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:03,360
Speaker 1: one is.

643
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:06,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, so that's not the problem here. It's not he

644
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:10,040
Speaker 2: doesn't think that these girls are better than you or

645
00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:14,720
Speaker 2: sexier than you. It's master batting is a completely different thing.

646
00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:18,520
Speaker 1: It's what he's doing. What I think, Yeah, what he's doing,

647
00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:21,440
Speaker 1: Like it's wrong. I agree. Like when it comes to

648
00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:24,560
Speaker 1: guys watching porn, you know, I think like if you

649
00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:29,560
Speaker 1: watch it kind of like not very much, then I

650
00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:32,719
Speaker 1: don't know. Like still, I could also understand arguments as

651
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:35,040
Speaker 1: to why porn is the worst thing ever, Like I forder,

652
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:38,120
Speaker 1: I could understand arguments, but like, you know, I just

653
00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:42,400
Speaker 1: think that in this, like in this scenario, fuck, she

654
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:45,040
Speaker 1: like his girlfriend, No, the baddie that sent this in

655
00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:46,560
Speaker 1: she just doesn't even feel good enough. Like I think

656
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:48,960
Speaker 1: it's fucking insane. I think that what I oh no,

657
00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:49,640
Speaker 1: what I was going to say.

658
00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:53,719
Speaker 2: What I was getting on was so your boyfriend, you

659
00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:57,360
Speaker 2: are good enough? And I think your boyfriend still believes that.

660
00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:59,200
Speaker 2: But he's addicted to porn.

661
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:01,960
Speaker 1: True, he has an addiction, actually doesn't he?

662
00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:04,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's addicted to porn, and I'm pretty sure I

663
00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:06,840
Speaker 2: saw a video about it that there's there's some type

664
00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:09,800
Speaker 2: of So you can get addicted to normal porn, which

665
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:11,880
Speaker 2: is free, but something about buying it and seeing something

666
00:31:11,920 --> 00:31:14,200
Speaker 2: that other people aren't seeing adds to the addiction a

667
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:16,480
Speaker 2: little bit. Yeah, and you have to rush. Yeah, yeah,

668
00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:18,640
Speaker 2: there's a rush of getting eye yeah yeah, yeah, because

669
00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:20,680
Speaker 2: other people aren't seeing it or something. It's like any drug,

670
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:23,400
Speaker 2: you shouldn't be doing it, so it's better. Shouldn't be

671
00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:25,320
Speaker 2: seeing this because I'm paying for it, so it's better. Yeah,

672
00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:28,440
Speaker 2: it's tough, but so based. So like let's say he

673
00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:30,960
Speaker 2: has an addiction, which that's why we have to tread

674
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:32,640
Speaker 2: lightly a little bit because it just sounds so surface

675
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:34,600
Speaker 2: level like he's a dog for buying porn, like which

676
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:37,240
Speaker 2: it just roast him, which it is, which is, but

677
00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:39,000
Speaker 2: he is addicted something like who's.

678
00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:40,920
Speaker 1: Like even a logic if he was buying one, that's terrible.

679
00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:43,479
Speaker 1: But because he's buying sixteen, he's obviously addicted. He has

680
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:45,320
Speaker 1: to be addicted because it's a lot of money. Yeah,

681
00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:46,920
Speaker 1: that's a lot of money spaying like porn. He's The

682
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:48,760
Speaker 1: thing is like, it sounds like we're making an excuse

683
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:52,360
Speaker 1: for him, and I don't want to. But at the

684
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:54,960
Speaker 1: same time, it's like because I have I have family member,

685
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:59,800
Speaker 1: a close family member that struggles with addiction, and by

686
00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:01,400
Speaker 1: no means do I think any of it's okay. But

687
00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:06,520
Speaker 1: it's like an actual disease, so I don't know. Though,

688
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:09,280
Speaker 1: It's still like I'm finding hard to defend anything on

689
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:11,120
Speaker 1: his side, Like I think she should fucking leave him.

690
00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:11,840
Speaker 1: It's crazy.

691
00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:14,120
Speaker 2: Will you have to ask yourself for everyone or not

692
00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:18,320
Speaker 2: you want to help him fix this addiction instead of it.

693
00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:22,560
Speaker 1: It's not cheating? Is it cheating? Some message back and forth?

694
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:23,040
Speaker 2: Some people.

695
00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:26,360
Speaker 1: Messaging is like message levels.

696
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:28,160
Speaker 2: Different people.

697
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:30,120
Speaker 1: This is one hundred percent be cheating to some people.

698
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:35,400
Speaker 1: I prescribe, prescribe, subscribe, I prescribe like as a chemist,

699
00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:39,560
Speaker 1: is it prescribe or prescribe? Prescribes like the doctor gives

700
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:47,120
Speaker 1: you a prescribe. Yea, I prescribe. I prescribe that you

701
00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:51,440
Speaker 1: bring it up with him and you tell him how

702
00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:54,720
Speaker 1: it makes you feel genuinely because if that doesn't make

703
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:58,360
Speaker 1: him want to change, then he's not someone worth fighting for.

704
00:32:58,600 --> 00:32:59,400
Speaker 2: Yes, one undred percent.

705
00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:03,920
Speaker 1: And I think is it also, don't give a dude

706
00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:05,720
Speaker 1: who cares about snooping? Thing? I was about to say,

707
00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:08,000
Speaker 1: I say, when you snoop and it works out, it's

708
00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:08,720
Speaker 1: not snooping.

709
00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:11,400
Speaker 2: What you found mitigates you snooping. Yeah, So bring it

710
00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:13,479
Speaker 2: up in a way of how it makes you feel

711
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:17,240
Speaker 2: and why this is wrong, and if he understands, you

712
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:19,400
Speaker 2: can work on it together and try and get through it.

713
00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:21,040
Speaker 2: But if he's like all reflective, like what.

714
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:22,880
Speaker 1: I do in my own times of to me, I'm

715
00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:25,720
Speaker 1: allowed to jerk off, then I think maybe a conversation

716
00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:27,080
Speaker 1: should be had if you leave him or not.

717
00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:29,040
Speaker 2: What was the second part of a question?

718
00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:31,520
Speaker 1: So the first part was how do I bring it

719
00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:33,680
Speaker 1: up without seeming like I'm a psycho on? The second

720
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:36,000
Speaker 1: part was how do I stop snooping? Oh? Bit hard?

721
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:37,840
Speaker 1: When you don't trust him? Yeah?

722
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:39,600
Speaker 2: Maybe is it relate? Why why are you snooping in

723
00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:41,160
Speaker 2: the first place? Is it because you have a little

724
00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:42,440
Speaker 2: inkling that you don't trust him?

725
00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:45,240
Speaker 1: Did you fully trust him before you found this? Because

726
00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:46,720
Speaker 1: if you fully trusted him before you found this, and

727
00:33:46,760 --> 00:33:48,280
Speaker 1: you felt they need to stoop, then maybe you do

728
00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:49,479
Speaker 1: have an issue, But I don't know.

729
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:52,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, if trust is I've always said that if trust

730
00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:54,840
Speaker 2: has gone on in a relationship, the relationship's over trust

731
00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:57,600
Speaker 2: the foundation of it. Like, why are you snooping in

732
00:33:57,600 --> 00:33:58,920
Speaker 2: the first place? Did you think you were going to

733
00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:00,400
Speaker 2: find this? Is this why you're looking? Or you're just

734
00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:02,200
Speaker 2: looking for you seem like a fun girl because you

735
00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:03,520
Speaker 2: like just for shit and gigs were just doing it

736
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:04,000
Speaker 2: because like I.

737
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,640
Speaker 1: Want to call some drama. Yeah, Or you're doing it

738
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:07,840
Speaker 1: because like I know he's doing.

739
00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:08,520
Speaker 2: Something I want to find it.

740
00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:12,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I don't know this few questions to ask yourself.

741
00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:13,759
Speaker 1: This is kind of hard to come back, Like, we

742
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:16,280
Speaker 1: can't give you an answer. But I think just hearing

743
00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:18,040
Speaker 1: what we are and maybe hearing someone's point of view

744
00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:19,880
Speaker 1: and it might have helped. But I prescribe saying what

745
00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:21,000
Speaker 1: I did talk to him.

746
00:34:21,239 --> 00:34:23,719
Speaker 2: The way you sound when you tribe, the way you

747
00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:26,759
Speaker 2: sound when you say prescribed, it sounds so wrong. Hi,

748
00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:29,120
Speaker 2: he's just like I prescribed this.

749
00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:34,719
Speaker 1: I recommend, I will, I will send you to a

750
00:34:34,719 --> 00:34:36,919
Speaker 1: spellcialist for Yeah.

751
00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:38,759
Speaker 2: I think this brings up a big problem that a

752
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:41,240
Speaker 2: young a lot of young people were going to face

753
00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:46,600
Speaker 2: growing up because porn and OnlyFans is so prominent in

754
00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:49,640
Speaker 2: teenage boys. Like like Jake said, I'm not saying what

755
00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:51,640
Speaker 2: he's done is right or we're defending him by any means.

756
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:53,879
Speaker 2: I think it's a terrible thing in action to do

757
00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:55,399
Speaker 2: and he should realize that.

758
00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:56,840
Speaker 1: But like, I think this is going to be a

759
00:34:56,840 --> 00:35:01,799
Speaker 1: big reccurring thing the older Like yeah, yeah, one hundred percent, yeah,

760
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:03,000
Speaker 1: because you used to have to try and find it

761
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:05,160
Speaker 1: in a magazine that you weren't old enough to buy. Yeah,

762
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:07,719
Speaker 1: and yeah, and now like fuck, you can do it

763
00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:09,360
Speaker 1: at the click of a button, mate, I was fucking

764
00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:11,560
Speaker 1: I would have been like under ten the first time

765
00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:15,120
Speaker 1: I discovered porn because I was looking for YouTube because

766
00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:17,520
Speaker 1: YouTube was a pretty new thing at the time, and

767
00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:21,040
Speaker 1: there was a porn site called red Tube. Just simple

768
00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:23,520
Speaker 1: little fucking misspelling and I was on a porn website.

769
00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:28,000
Speaker 2: I know, I reckon. You know how the governments are

770
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,960
Speaker 2: trying to like ban TikTok and social media for kids

771
00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:33,640
Speaker 2: under sixteen? Yeah, why don't they ban porn? That'd be

772
00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:35,000
Speaker 2: so easy to do it. You go to countries and

773
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:40,799
Speaker 2: you kind of get on porn. Yeah I know from experience. Yeah,

774
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:43,400
Speaker 2: but like surely that's a more manageable task. And I

775
00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:47,000
Speaker 2: feel like porn's ruining kids, like brain way more than

776
00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:47,720
Speaker 2: social media.

777
00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:48,919
Speaker 1: Yeah.

778
00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:50,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, like he's ruining love life.

779
00:35:50,719 --> 00:35:54,080
Speaker 1: Fair thing that matters, because it's like there's people out there,

780
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:56,680
Speaker 1: men and women, you know, because like I don't know,

781
00:35:56,760 --> 00:35:59,239
Speaker 1: I mean, plenty of women watch porn as well, And

782
00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:02,520
Speaker 1: it's like there's plenty of people out there, men and

783
00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:04,800
Speaker 1: women that can watch it and not be as affected.

784
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:07,880
Speaker 1: But it's the peoples whose brains are easily affected, and

785
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:11,440
Speaker 1: there is a lot of them. So I think that, Yeah,

786
00:36:11,480 --> 00:36:13,960
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be opposed to just everyone not having it.

787
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:16,839
Speaker 2: Fuck it, and maybe ask him if you do give

788
00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:18,600
Speaker 2: him the benefit of the doubt, you still trust him

789
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:22,400
Speaker 2: and he's like really apologetic and realizes he has an addiction.

790
00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:24,799
Speaker 2: Maybe you can ask him like why he's bought so

791
00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:26,960
Speaker 2: many and like what's the sensation he gets out of

792
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:27,440
Speaker 2: buying them?

793
00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:29,680
Speaker 1: No, you could try and ask a few questions, but

794
00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:31,640
Speaker 1: I do like the word addictions. Fuck. I think you

795
00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:33,120
Speaker 1: might be right, Oh, it's.

796
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:35,760
Speaker 2: Not that many girls he's buying the paper that's imagine

797
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:37,520
Speaker 2: seeing your bank account and it says like one hundred

798
00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:38,360
Speaker 2: dollars a months.

799
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:40,239
Speaker 1: Gone, and he feels like shit about it.

800
00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:42,200
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying and like, but he.

801
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:46,080
Speaker 1: Does it because that's addiction. Yeah, the messaging is gone,

802
00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:48,200
Speaker 1: that's gone. Paying for it's gone too far for me.

803
00:36:48,239 --> 00:36:50,239
Speaker 1: But for the messaging has pushed me even further over line.

804
00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:52,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, all right, this next dilemma. I

805
00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:54,880
Speaker 2: think long time listeners will know where we stand. But

806
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:58,520
Speaker 2: it's been a little while. Okay, okay, hey lads, love

807
00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:01,920
Speaker 2: the podcast, first time sending. In my dilemma, I've recently

808
00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:04,280
Speaker 2: got in a relationship with a guy. We've been dating

809
00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:07,480
Speaker 2: a few months. Unfortunately, it's gotten to the point where

810
00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:11,440
Speaker 2: I'm becoming an absolute psychopath, as you do in Bracket

811
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:12,920
Speaker 2: cimon Female.

812
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:16,319
Speaker 1: Come on, don't don't feed into it.

813
00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:19,560
Speaker 2: I just wanted to hear your thoughts and opinions on

814
00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:22,200
Speaker 2: being in a relationship and hanging out with the opposite

815
00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:26,440
Speaker 2: sex one on one. He is very open and transparent

816
00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:29,960
Speaker 2: about it and doesn't hide anything with me or with them,

817
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:32,520
Speaker 2: but I just can't wrap my head around it, especially

818
00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:35,239
Speaker 2: if they aren't long term friends. He said, it is

819
00:37:35,239 --> 00:37:38,480
Speaker 2: fine if I do the same However, I feel uncomfortable

820
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:41,080
Speaker 2: with doing that and have rejected any guys who've asked

821
00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:43,360
Speaker 2: me to hang out with respect for my boyfriend, and

822
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:45,600
Speaker 2: I think it's weird. I don't want to be in

823
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:47,839
Speaker 2: a toxic relationship where there are rules where you can

824
00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:50,120
Speaker 2: and can't do things. I just wanted to hear what

825
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:53,000
Speaker 2: you think is normal or if you think I should

826
00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:54,040
Speaker 2: change my mindset on this.

827
00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:59,279
Speaker 1: Thanks much, Love Team. Oh god tough. I mean, I

828
00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:00,480
Speaker 1: don't know what I think.

829
00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:04,120
Speaker 2: See, this is sort of going back off what I

830
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:09,200
Speaker 2: said in Monday's episode, where like societal norms might tell

831
00:38:09,239 --> 00:38:12,080
Speaker 2: you that it's okay to hang out of the opposite sex,

832
00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:16,120
Speaker 2: and you're feeling like you're too much because you think

833
00:38:16,239 --> 00:38:18,920
Speaker 2: it's not okay to that. I say, I think it's

834
00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:22,480
Speaker 2: completely fine to not think it's okay in your relationship.

835
00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:24,120
Speaker 1: Yeah.

836
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:28,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like it's noting nothing down to trust or anything

837
00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:30,360
Speaker 2: like that. You something in your stomach makes you feel

838
00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:33,239
Speaker 2: like someone who isn't a long term friend shouldn't be

839
00:38:33,239 --> 00:38:35,200
Speaker 2: hanging out with my boyfriend because they've got an ulterior

840
00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:38,960
Speaker 2: automotive or something like that. Look, I just don't I

841
00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:40,239
Speaker 2: think you're allowed to feel that way.

842
00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:42,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree, honestly, I do agree.

843
00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:46,920
Speaker 2: And I think as a boyfriend, like, they should respect

844
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:50,000
Speaker 2: how you're feeling, Like if a new girl, I don't know,

845
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:52,360
Speaker 2: why would it, Why would your boyfriend if a new girl.

846
00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:54,320
Speaker 2: Like at Uni, they've been hanging out in class for

847
00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:56,319
Speaker 2: a couple of weeks, fine, and she said, oh, let's

848
00:38:56,320 --> 00:38:58,160
Speaker 2: go get a coffee sometime. They've known each other for

849
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:03,480
Speaker 2: two three months and he goes, yeah, sure, Like and

850
00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:05,359
Speaker 2: you say, I'm uncomfortable with that. I think he should

851
00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:06,719
Speaker 2: be like, oh, I understand that I'm not going to

852
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:09,279
Speaker 2: do that, like our friend is purely going to be

853
00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:10,000
Speaker 2: at university.

854
00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:14,000
Speaker 1: Look, I fully agree I would. I would need to

855
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:16,719
Speaker 1: hear some pretty good arguments as to otherwise. I don't

856
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:18,960
Speaker 1: want to say like because because she was saying a

857
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:22,920
Speaker 1: boyfriend like super honest about it all. I don't want

858
00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:25,719
Speaker 1: to say anything that makes him look bad obviously, but

859
00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:28,960
Speaker 1: like you said, you're allowed to feel like that. Yeah,

860
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:33,160
Speaker 1: I don't think so let me just think. So, Okay,

861
00:39:35,239 --> 00:39:43,600
Speaker 1: I wouldn't hang out with a girl without Beth purely

862
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:46,520
Speaker 1: based on the fact that I just don't want to.

863
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:50,480
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to. I've never Beth has never hung

864
00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:52,840
Speaker 1: out with another guy on her own, So I actually

865
00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:54,640
Speaker 1: wouldn't really like. I don't know how I would feel.

866
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:57,239
Speaker 1: I think I wouldn't like it. But at the same time,

867
00:39:57,280 --> 00:39:59,439
Speaker 1: there's every chance that i'd be like, see he's saying

868
00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:02,080
Speaker 1: it and listen to it. Sounds like we've been a

869
00:40:02,120 --> 00:40:02,800
Speaker 1: little bit toxic.

870
00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:05,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, it does, doesn't It sounds like controlling or a

871
00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:06,240
Speaker 2: little bit toxic.

872
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:10,680
Speaker 1: There's another thing, though, not doc to compare relationships, but

873
00:40:10,719 --> 00:40:14,280
Speaker 1: I mean again, I look at my dad. Not once

874
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:16,719
Speaker 1: has you ever gone and been like just going for

875
00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:21,319
Speaker 1: lunch with Stace. Yeah, my dad doesn't have any friends

876
00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:23,040
Speaker 1: out a girl. Yeah. Maybe that's where I get it from,

877
00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:27,200
Speaker 1: because I've never seen that. My stepdad in Canada didn't

878
00:40:27,239 --> 00:40:29,680
Speaker 1: have any friends that were girls, Like I.

879
00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:30,320
Speaker 2: Don't think any do.

880
00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:32,399
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know, like something for some people

881
00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:37,080
Speaker 1: could be normal, like for instance, I don't know, it's weird,

882
00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:41,520
Speaker 1: it is weird. But basically what I was getting at

883
00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:45,560
Speaker 1: was I think you should tell your boyfriend how it

884
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:47,919
Speaker 1: makes you feel, and that is completely fine to feel

885
00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:48,279
Speaker 1: that way.

886
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:50,520
Speaker 2: It might we feel the same way.

887
00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:51,960
Speaker 1: It might sound a little bit toxic in your head,

888
00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:53,720
Speaker 1: which is understandable why you send it to Lemerium.

889
00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:57,960
Speaker 2: But your boyfriend your boyfriend out of respect. I think no,

890
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:01,000
Speaker 2: it's individualized each relationship. If you're not, no, ok care

891
00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:03,040
Speaker 2: of But that's fine. So if you tell your boyfriend

892
00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:05,600
Speaker 2: voice your opinion and he respects that, he'd be like, oh,

893
00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:06,600
Speaker 2: that's fine. I'm not gonna hang.

894
00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:10,120
Speaker 1: Out them like these Also, these friendships aren't Look, this

895
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:12,719
Speaker 1: isn't going to fucking form a twenty year friendship. This

896
00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:14,960
Speaker 1: friendship that they're going on is potentially to sleep with

897
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:18,200
Speaker 1: each other. Look, I gotta say, I look at it

898
00:41:18,239 --> 00:41:21,960
Speaker 1: black and white like that as well, like girls, there's

899
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:25,239
Speaker 1: a whole joke where it's like girls like being friends

900
00:41:25,239 --> 00:41:27,319
Speaker 1: with guy because guys because it's less drama. But like,

901
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:31,400
Speaker 1: really do they? I know guys don't want to be

902
00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:33,200
Speaker 1: friends with girls unless I sleep with them. I can speak,

903
00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:35,320
Speaker 1: I can say that from a guy's perspective. I'm sorry,

904
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:38,400
Speaker 1: so sorry, Like, well, I don't think I think if

905
00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:40,759
Speaker 1: you're the girl who's the friend in this situation too?

906
00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:44,399
Speaker 1: Like if I've said it before, if this guy had

907
00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:47,480
Speaker 1: the chance to sleep with you, like would he do it?

908
00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:51,640
Speaker 1: And nine out ten times he would sleep with you? Yeah,

909
00:41:51,719 --> 00:41:55,319
Speaker 1: Like you're not friends, like every single every single male

910
00:41:55,400 --> 00:41:58,319
Speaker 1: to female friendship, Like most of the time, the guy

911
00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:01,839
Speaker 1: wants to sleep with you, Like, we know, guys, man,

912
00:42:01,840 --> 00:42:04,879
Speaker 1: you're there. I just don't have arguments to I don't

913
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:07,520
Speaker 1: have any devil's advocacation. It sounds toxic, but I think

914
00:42:07,560 --> 00:42:09,600
Speaker 1: I don't have devil devil's advocate because the bad it

915
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:11,040
Speaker 1: that sent this in I am like have the same

916
00:42:11,080 --> 00:42:13,319
Speaker 1: mindset as her. Yeah, so I don't. I don't know.

917
00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:17,399
Speaker 1: But the thing is is like it's also is it disrespectful? Yeah,

918
00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:20,560
Speaker 1: like she would the new friend thing is weird. I

919
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:22,920
Speaker 1: think the fact that it's a new friend. Yeah, we're

920
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 1: completely right there. I think we're right. Yeah, if it

921
00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:26,480
Speaker 1: was an old, old friend, I think I could see

922
00:42:26,480 --> 00:42:30,000
Speaker 1: some good arguments. Yeah. And like obviously with said all

923
00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:31,840
Speaker 1: the time, like that's just where we stand. Doesn't mean

924
00:42:31,840 --> 00:42:33,719
Speaker 1: we're right. Yeah, no, it doesn't mean we're right. I

925
00:42:33,719 --> 00:42:35,440
Speaker 1: think that the best thing to do in this situation

926
00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:41,319
Speaker 1: is to tell your boyfriend how you know, how you think,

927
00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:46,719
Speaker 1: how how it makes you feel, and it's it's okay

928
00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:49,520
Speaker 1: for you guys not to agree on something like Yeah,

929
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:53,839
Speaker 1: it's also completely okay for you guys not to work

930
00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:55,640
Speaker 1: out because of how different you are. I think, like

931
00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:59,640
Speaker 1: there's a real big scary thing where it's like I

932
00:42:59,640 --> 00:43:02,399
Speaker 1: think I I'm guilty of this. We're in a relationship.

933
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:05,719
Speaker 1: Maybe I have an opinion on something that that I

934
00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:11,920
Speaker 1: that my partner disagrees with, and I feel like because

935
00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:14,400
Speaker 1: it's like maybe early on or maybe even late in

936
00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:18,319
Speaker 1: a relationship, I need to change my opinion because that's

937
00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:20,839
Speaker 1: what love is, you know, you need to actually fight

938
00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:24,760
Speaker 1: for the love. But I think we said it last episode.

939
00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:27,400
Speaker 1: There's nothing wrong with fucking dying on a hill. Like

940
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:29,120
Speaker 1: you're allowed to have beliefs.

941
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:33,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've been guilty in the past of not voicing

942
00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:36,120
Speaker 2: my opinion in a relationship because I was scared of

943
00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:38,600
Speaker 2: having a fight. Yeah, And I would just pretend to

944
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:43,920
Speaker 2: believe what the other person believed. Same, Yeah, just because

945
00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:45,759
Speaker 2: like I didn't want to. I didn't want the confrontation

946
00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:49,440
Speaker 2: of the argument. So that's just growing. And like if

947
00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:53,560
Speaker 2: he thinks it's completely fine to see other girls and

948
00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:56,520
Speaker 2: think that's how relationships would be, he's not wrong. If

949
00:43:56,520 --> 00:44:00,480
Speaker 2: you think you don't like that, you're not wrong. He's

950
00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:02,839
Speaker 2: okay not to agree on things. And if that's what

951
00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:05,279
Speaker 2: devised the relationship, that's fine.

952
00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:07,600
Speaker 1: Like yeah, and just fuck Like if you really break

953
00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:09,000
Speaker 1: it down, look at this, Like so if you went

954
00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:10,000
Speaker 1: to him and you were like, this is what I

955
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:11,120
Speaker 1: believe and he's like, oh, well this is what I

956
00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:12,960
Speaker 1: believe in it's okay. Well, like what's the happy medium?

957
00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:15,520
Speaker 1: And it's like, okay, well, I the girl will never

958
00:44:15,520 --> 00:44:17,280
Speaker 1: hang up with another dude because I find it weird.

959
00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:19,000
Speaker 1: I don't want you to hang out with other people,

960
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:20,360
Speaker 1: but there needs to be a happy medium so you

961
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:24,239
Speaker 1: can once every two weeks. Isn't that so weird that

962
00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:26,719
Speaker 1: he's fighting to hang out with another girl. I think

963
00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:28,759
Speaker 1: the advice we gave for everyone thinks their own way

964
00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:32,080
Speaker 1: is good. Yeah. Hey j Canaddy aka Mommy and Daddy

965
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:34,680
Speaker 1: love the podcast and need your wisdom on this dilemma.

966
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:39,120
Speaker 1: I'm twenty five and pregnant with my first baby. Exciting

967
00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:41,600
Speaker 1: but terrifying. My partner and I have been together for

968
00:44:41,640 --> 00:44:43,800
Speaker 1: a few years and we're living in our current house.

969
00:44:44,200 --> 00:44:46,920
Speaker 1: Here's where it gets tricky. One of my best friends

970
00:44:46,960 --> 00:44:49,160
Speaker 1: recently had some issues at home and needed a place

971
00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:52,200
Speaker 1: to say Naturally, I offer it. I offered her our

972
00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:55,320
Speaker 1: spare room until she gets back on her feet. Fast

973
00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:58,360
Speaker 1: forward a few months and now my boyfriend and I

974
00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:01,719
Speaker 1: are preparing for the baby's arrival. We will obviously need

975
00:45:01,719 --> 00:45:04,640
Speaker 1: the spare room for the nursery, but my friend hasn't

976
00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:08,160
Speaker 1: mentioned any plans to move out yet. She's super supportive

977
00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:11,399
Speaker 1: and helps out a lot, but I'm worried about how

978
00:45:11,440 --> 00:45:13,640
Speaker 1: this will work once the baby is here. Do I

979
00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:16,120
Speaker 1: ask her to move out? If so, how do I

980
00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:18,520
Speaker 1: say it without ruining our friendship? Or do I let

981
00:45:18,560 --> 00:45:20,640
Speaker 1: her stay longer and just figure it out as we go.

982
00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:23,200
Speaker 1: I'm just worried about me having to wake up during

983
00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:24,960
Speaker 1: the night with the baby, or making her feel like

984
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:27,040
Speaker 1: I'm neglecting her when I have to take care of

985
00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:29,720
Speaker 1: a growing, tiny baby. I feel like I'm stuck between

986
00:45:29,719 --> 00:45:31,520
Speaker 1: being a good friend and making the right decisions for

987
00:45:31,560 --> 00:45:34,600
Speaker 1: my growing family. Some of your amazing advice would be

988
00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:37,000
Speaker 1: much appreciated. What would you do? By the way, you

989
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:39,080
Speaker 1: guys have got me through some really difficult times, especially

990
00:45:39,120 --> 00:45:40,520
Speaker 1: in this pregnancy shit.

991
00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:43,040
Speaker 2: Oh fuck, I just wanted to say.

992
00:45:42,920 --> 00:45:46,520
Speaker 1: You've got more experience than us girls. That and also,

993
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:51,160
Speaker 1: you are a very very nice lady. You are Yeah, facts,

994
00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:51,960
Speaker 1: You're a nice person.

995
00:45:52,120 --> 00:45:54,280
Speaker 2: This sort of situation has come up a few times

996
00:45:54,280 --> 00:46:00,439
Speaker 2: in life where like my type of personality, I say,

997
00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:04,319
Speaker 2: be a savage here. Yeah, you have every right to

998
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:06,239
Speaker 2: say whatever the fuck you want to say, and your

999
00:46:06,239 --> 00:46:09,120
Speaker 2: friend should still be your friend and realize that they

1000
00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:11,239
Speaker 2: should have moved out by now. Yeah, and just be

1001
00:46:12,280 --> 00:46:14,279
Speaker 2: It's just funny because I know my relationships with my

1002
00:46:14,360 --> 00:46:17,640
Speaker 2: friends and say this exact exact suspiration arose and Jake

1003
00:46:17,719 --> 00:46:20,719
Speaker 2: needed somewhere to sleep and the baby was due. I'd

1004
00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:23,200
Speaker 2: be like, man, like, when are you going to sort

1005
00:46:23,239 --> 00:46:23,920
Speaker 2: your shit out?

1006
00:46:24,280 --> 00:46:26,120
Speaker 1: After two days on? He be like, Hey, what's the

1007
00:46:26,680 --> 00:46:27,600
Speaker 1: what's the new house plan?

1008
00:46:28,239 --> 00:46:32,279
Speaker 2: I'll be like, have you seen my girlfriend? She's about

1009
00:46:32,280 --> 00:46:35,480
Speaker 2: to blow? Yeah, we need this room for this kid.

1010
00:46:35,800 --> 00:46:36,120
Speaker 1: Fuck.

1011
00:46:36,239 --> 00:46:38,880
Speaker 2: But I know some people's relationships are different, so I

1012
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:42,000
Speaker 2: think you can't go wrong. And your friend should have

1013
00:46:42,040 --> 00:46:43,280
Speaker 2: already put two and two together.

1014
00:46:44,520 --> 00:46:45,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, I can't believe they haven't.

1015
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:52,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, let's put an appropriate strategy for where what conversation.

1016
00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:56,160
Speaker 2: I'll be the housemaid who's just like planned Fortnite all day,

1017
00:46:56,360 --> 00:46:58,200
Speaker 2: like been there for like two three months.

1018
00:46:58,840 --> 00:47:00,480
Speaker 1: Sure that.

1019
00:47:01,719 --> 00:47:04,560
Speaker 2: I'm kidding, Okay, she's doing things around the house. I've

1020
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:06,959
Speaker 2: just put the bins out like her feather dog Jake,

1021
00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:10,240
Speaker 2: like I've watered the plants, like hey, Jake, how's your day?

1022
00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:15,839
Speaker 1: Yeah it was good. I'm getting heavy as you can see,

1023
00:47:16,080 --> 00:47:19,279
Speaker 1: wink wink heavy. How many months are now getting on

1024
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:21,799
Speaker 1: eight and a half? Well, pretty close, it's a nine

1025
00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:22,319
Speaker 1: month term.

1026
00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:23,439
Speaker 2: You anytime soon?

1027
00:47:23,719 --> 00:47:26,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, baby's going to come out any day now, premature,

1028
00:47:26,360 --> 00:47:31,879
Speaker 1: I hope, exciting stuff it is. How how was your day?

1029
00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:33,240
Speaker 2: I'm keen to help when it comes.

1030
00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:37,560
Speaker 1: You're keen to help out? Oh, auntie Grace Grace, Well,

1031
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:41,320
Speaker 1: I actually wanted to talk to you about that. I

1032
00:47:41,360 --> 00:47:44,440
Speaker 1: don't know if you've noticed, but this is a two

1033
00:47:44,520 --> 00:47:50,120
Speaker 1: bedroom house. Me and my boyfriend have one room. We're

1034
00:47:50,160 --> 00:47:55,600
Speaker 1: about to have a kid. Yeah, you finished this sentence.

1035
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:00,439
Speaker 2: You want me to bunk with the kids?

1036
00:48:02,680 --> 00:48:03,640
Speaker 1: Not exactly.

1037
00:48:04,360 --> 00:48:05,680
Speaker 2: Oh, I see what he's saying.

1038
00:48:05,719 --> 00:48:10,040
Speaker 1: In a roundabout way, it's time to pack your shit.

1039
00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:16,560
Speaker 2: Oh, not gonna lie. I realized. Yeah, I've realized about

1040
00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:19,680
Speaker 2: three months ago. I've been I've been prepping all my stuff.

1041
00:48:20,200 --> 00:48:22,440
Speaker 2: I've just my I've been just been waiting for the

1042
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:23,480
Speaker 2: perfect time to.

1043
00:48:23,480 --> 00:48:25,160
Speaker 1: Bring it up. I think waiting to kick me out.

1044
00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:27,160
Speaker 2: I thought you'd be sad if I left.

1045
00:48:30,160 --> 00:48:32,560
Speaker 1: No, Look, we don't actually need your help more than

1046
00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:33,319
Speaker 1: we going to visit.

1047
00:48:33,480 --> 00:48:39,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, genuinely, honestly, you could say absolutely anything, and your

1048
00:48:39,680 --> 00:48:42,759
Speaker 2: friend should realize the situation and be completely fine with it.

1049
00:48:43,080 --> 00:48:45,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like it's it's been great, haven't you here?

1050
00:48:45,440 --> 00:48:47,279
Speaker 1: It's been the best time ever. But I'm really sorry.

1051
00:48:47,360 --> 00:48:50,160
Speaker 1: We need the spare room for the baby. Yeah. How

1052
00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:51,640
Speaker 1: would they not understand.

1053
00:48:51,200 --> 00:48:52,200
Speaker 2: That family comes first?

1054
00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:54,040
Speaker 1: How the fuck would they not understand that?

1055
00:48:54,120 --> 00:48:56,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, and maybe be like, maybe the best way to

1056
00:48:56,440 --> 00:48:58,760
Speaker 2: say it is, Hey, the baby's coming in a month,

1057
00:48:59,360 --> 00:49:02,520
Speaker 2: we need the room back. I'm just giving you notice

1058
00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:03,960
Speaker 2: because so you can get on your feet in the

1059
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:06,160
Speaker 2: next month and move out before it comes. Yeah, that's

1060
00:49:06,200 --> 00:49:06,680
Speaker 2: the perfect thing.

1061
00:49:06,760 --> 00:49:08,560
Speaker 1: That's probably the perfect thing to say, because it's like,

1062
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:13,399
Speaker 1: I just don't I if someone took that the wrong way,

1063
00:49:15,640 --> 00:49:18,720
Speaker 1: like you need serious mental help.

1064
00:49:18,960 --> 00:49:21,840
Speaker 2: Oh yeah yeah yeah, And like, honestly she should have

1065
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:24,400
Speaker 2: offered and making it awkward for you, but it sucks

1066
00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:27,000
Speaker 2: that she's not leaving. Yeah, don't overthink it. I don't

1067
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:28,640
Speaker 2: think you're going to be in the wrong way. Any means,

1068
00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:29,960
Speaker 2: you could say, get the fuck out of my house

1069
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:30,879
Speaker 2: and I think you'd be in the right.

1070
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:32,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, you could just be like, so when are you

1071
00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:34,239
Speaker 1: moving out? Like you could do whatever you want. And

1072
00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:37,480
Speaker 1: I think regardless, Like, I think it's pretty rude that

1073
00:49:37,520 --> 00:49:40,440
Speaker 1: she hasn't already been like, oh, do you need the room?

1074
00:49:40,480 --> 00:49:42,000
Speaker 1: Do you need the room, and then giving you the

1075
00:49:42,040 --> 00:49:43,319
Speaker 1: chance to be like, oh, yeah, obviously we do.

1076
00:49:43,520 --> 00:49:45,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, like she should put two and two together.

1077
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:49,040
Speaker 2: Fuck you, honestly, but thank you everybody for this thing

1078
00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:50,960
Speaker 2: that was dilemmas. You know what to do, submit it

1079
00:49:51,160 --> 00:49:54,640
Speaker 2: in the description of this episode or linking bio on Instagram.

1080
00:49:54,920 --> 00:49:55,520
Speaker 1: Have a good day.

1081
00:49:55,560 --> 00:49:56,759
Speaker 2: We hope we help some of you out.

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Speaker 1: Love you,