1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:03,160 Speaker 1: This is the Fitting In with Kate Richie podcast. 2 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:07,360 Speaker 2: Are you waiting for a response to a text message? 3 00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:12,720 Speaker 1: And start of a relationship? You flick one off and 4 00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:17,880 Speaker 1: there you are, and you're there and you a minute, 5 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:19,400 Speaker 1: it's mecca. 6 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:23,000 Speaker 2: And do you know what's sorry? 7 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:25,320 Speaker 3: Fits? There's a level of control that you can have 8 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:28,160 Speaker 3: over people, and I don't like it. There are certain 9 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:30,480 Speaker 3: people that go, I might just let them hold on 10 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:31,080 Speaker 3: you for a bit. 11 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:35,080 Speaker 2: It's a game, isn't it. Look I am big on. 12 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:37,879 Speaker 2: If you don't know what to say, it's best not 13 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,640 Speaker 2: to say anything, and then that says all you need. 14 00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:45,320 Speaker 3: But see that's copper, that's a Coper silence tree, that's 15 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:49,040 Speaker 3: someone And I don't think that works. Sometimes my wife's 16 00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:51,160 Speaker 3: taught me that you need to resolve things. 17 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:55,360 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, absolutely, I'm not saying silence completely. 18 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:57,640 Speaker 1: This is relationship. They deserve better than that. 19 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:00,760 Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, I agree. Some people do, but 20 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:03,680 Speaker 2: it's not always to do Maybe it's a friend. No, 21 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:05,720 Speaker 2: it's relationships. We're talking about relationship. 22 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:10,200 Speaker 3: Have you ghosted someone before, Kate, I'm not. 23 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:11,840 Speaker 2: No, I don't do that. 24 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:12,720 Speaker 3: I don't do that. 25 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:19,760 Speaker 2: I give people a particular level of respect and clarity 26 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:23,800 Speaker 2: honesty and honesty, but then there's then there's like only 27 00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:26,640 Speaker 2: so much that can be said. I do think though, 28 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:29,560 Speaker 2: if you in the beginning of a relationship and someone's 29 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:34,200 Speaker 2: looking for answers, then they do deserve that. I absolutely agree. 30 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:38,800 Speaker 2: But what this study has revealed is that if you 31 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:41,600 Speaker 2: are waiting for that text, and you are waiting for 32 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:45,760 Speaker 2: some kind of explanation or response, don't be worried that 33 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:50,520 Speaker 2: they haven't replied straight away, because apparently what it means 34 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:56,960 Speaker 2: is that you might be getting involved with someone who is. 35 00:01:58,480 --> 00:01:59,080 Speaker 3: A little. 36 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:03,480 Speaker 2: Very busy and has another family and just hasn't got 37 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:09,679 Speaker 2: around no, but that you eventually will connect with them 38 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:15,720 Speaker 2: on a deeper level. So delayed responders they're calling them 39 00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:19,240 Speaker 2: who are sporadic with their communication patterns, could actually be 40 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:24,240 Speaker 2: more introverted. They value deep, meaningful interactions over a higher 41 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:27,760 Speaker 2: quantity of exchanges. Let's be honest. Do you want the 42 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:30,200 Speaker 2: guy or the woman who you know is on their 43 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:33,920 Speaker 2: phone twenty four to seven scrolling and they just are like, 44 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:37,160 Speaker 2: they respond, but there's nothing really to it. They haven't 45 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:41,560 Speaker 2: thought about it, they're just they're almost Some people just 46 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:45,720 Speaker 2: respond to get the dopamine hit of the little Oh 47 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:48,040 Speaker 2: my goodness, they're riding back. I've got them. It's like 48 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:51,239 Speaker 2: keeping people on the hook. Wouldn't you rather nothing? You'd 49 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:57,120 Speaker 2: rather crickets than a constant flow of non meaningful communication. 50 00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:01,960 Speaker 1: Chie wasn't long ago on this beautiful broadcast show that 51 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:05,440 Speaker 1: you declared and admitted to everybody that you're not afraid 52 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:09,760 Speaker 1: of a bitter three dot Where Kate, We'll just leave 53 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:12,480 Speaker 1: you wondering so it would look like she's riding, which 54 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,079 Speaker 1: is not actually riding. She's just got it open. 55 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:18,880 Speaker 2: I'll just okay, okay, maybe on a couple of occasions 56 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:22,400 Speaker 2: I have dot dotted like just I've you know, just 57 00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:26,480 Speaker 2: let us random m in maybe whatever's and then I'll 58 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:31,120 Speaker 2: then I'll will deleat because you think they're probably watching 59 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:34,320 Speaker 2: the dots come up, and then they watch and then 60 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:37,320 Speaker 2: you stop and then you just then, you know, get 61 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:38,080 Speaker 2: on with your day. 62 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:41,200 Speaker 1: And then it's like she was going to write you 63 00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:44,120 Speaker 1: deleted it decided not too cold. 64 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:46,880 Speaker 2: It's not there's no coldness about I'm not. I don't 65 00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:48,040 Speaker 2: have a cold cold heart. 66 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:52,560 Speaker 1: You know. I think what I would normally do unless 67 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:54,720 Speaker 1: it needs to be action straight away, unless I need 68 00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:57,000 Speaker 1: to reply to that person straight away, normally I just 69 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,520 Speaker 1: wait till I'm sitting down at night time. 70 00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:01,560 Speaker 2: Yeah and all. So, I mean I have a have 71 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:05,680 Speaker 2: a child. If I was responding to the text messages 72 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:09,560 Speaker 2: that I receive all day, every day, NonStop, she'd be saying, Mum, 73 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:11,560 Speaker 2: you said I'm not allowed to be on my iPad. 74 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:13,280 Speaker 2: Why are you on the phone? You know there are 75 00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:15,280 Speaker 2: times for or I'm sitting in the. 76 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:17,799 Speaker 1: Traffic, So I will tactically three dot them instead. 77 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:22,880 Speaker 2: One of the may loves the three dom game who 78 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:24,560 Speaker 2: she takes and puts bets. 79 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:27,800 Speaker 1: On that, so you will say to my direconosic three dotal. 80 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:32,320 Speaker 3: Ever, I would never for a while when it's a 81 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:35,960 Speaker 3: long amount of charm, Oh this there's juicy in the 82 00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:38,039 Speaker 3: long hunt. You're putting a fair bit into it, and 83 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:42,240 Speaker 3: then when it stopped you absolute dog. That's that's did 84 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:42,760 Speaker 3: you notice this? 85 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:46,479 Speaker 1: Dog? The messages now can say edited? You've seen that? 86 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:46,960 Speaker 2: Yeah? 87 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,039 Speaker 1: So does that mean someone has sent the message and 88 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:50,839 Speaker 1: then they've looked at it and then they've edited. 89 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:51,360 Speaker 2: Yeah? 90 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:55,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, it'd be your grammar, wouldn't it that you've stuffed 91 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:57,200 Speaker 3: something up and gone back and edit it. 92 00:04:57,360 --> 00:04:59,120 Speaker 1: Or if you chopped her a sentence out that you 93 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:00,680 Speaker 1: wanted to say but then decided it was. 94 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:03,560 Speaker 2: Too dangerous, so they're no longer invited. Can you edit 95 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:09,080 Speaker 2: after they've seen the text? I think you can, so 96 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:13,400 Speaker 2: that's why you have to screenshot. Screenshot instantly. 97 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:17,560 Speaker 1: Fits in. Whippa with Kate Ritchie is a Nova podcast 98 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:21,040 Speaker 1: walk great shows like this. Download the Nova Player by 99 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:24,200 Speaker 1: the app Store or Google Play. 100 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:22,960 Speaker 2: The