WEBVTT - #1894 More Q & A - Harps 0:00:00.440 --> 0:00:04.680 O get a bloody champions. Happy Monday or Tuesday or Wednesday, 0:00:04.800 --> 0:00:07.440 whatever day, whatever day it is, I hope it's happy. 0:00:07.920 --> 0:00:09.520 It's happy for you. I hope it's good for you. 0:00:09.800 --> 0:00:12.680 And if it's not good, well that's okay too, because 0:00:12.680 --> 0:00:16.279 shit days are part of the human experience. So we're 0:00:16.280 --> 0:00:21.360 not chasing twenty seven thousand happy, amazing, beautiful days in 0:00:21.400 --> 0:00:23.279 a row. We're just trying to survive all the days 0:00:23.280 --> 0:00:26.759 that we do have. Nonetheless, wherever you are, whoever you are, 0:00:28.800 --> 0:00:31.160 I hope you're going okay. Be it a good day, 0:00:31.200 --> 0:00:33.080 a bad day at peak, or a trough, I hope 0:00:33.120 --> 0:00:38.080 you're doing all right. So after that bloody meandering introduction 0:00:38.960 --> 0:00:42.240 or hello, I was doing a I was going to 0:00:42.280 --> 0:00:45.480 do like a little series, like a little group. What's 0:00:45.479 --> 0:00:53.720 the collective now for podcasts? A herd, a swathe, a flock. 0:00:54.040 --> 0:00:58.000 I was going to do a flock of podcasts which 0:00:58.040 --> 0:01:01.319 will based on questions from you, the list listeners. And 0:01:01.400 --> 0:01:03.760 so I chucked up a little thing or two on 0:01:05.080 --> 0:01:06.959 I put one in the Facebook group and one of 0:01:07.000 --> 0:01:10.000 my main Facebook page, and I've got somewhere around sixty 0:01:10.120 --> 0:01:15.240 or seventy questions answered, a few of them I did 0:01:15.240 --> 0:01:17.520 my first episode and then, like four year old in 0:01:17.560 --> 0:01:23.360 a lolly shop, I got distracted. Nonetheless, I'm back. So, 0:01:24.160 --> 0:01:27.560 like I said, there's lots of questions, and what I've 0:01:27.560 --> 0:01:30.279 done is or what I'm going to do. I'm working 0:01:30.360 --> 0:01:34.319 through them one at a time, obviously, and I'm trying 0:01:34.400 --> 0:01:38.920 to talk about topics or questions or ideas that are 0:01:40.240 --> 0:01:42.920 broadly relevant. Some of them are in a little bit 0:01:43.360 --> 0:01:47.440 specific to a very small percentage of the population, and 0:01:47.520 --> 0:01:50.720 as a listening experience for the entire population or a 0:01:50.720 --> 0:01:55.920 big audience, a big cross section of humanity. I've, for 0:01:56.000 --> 0:01:58.480 better or worse, I've made the decision to try and 0:01:58.880 --> 0:02:02.960 make this as broadly elevant and engaging and helpful to 0:02:03.120 --> 0:02:07.040 as many people as possible. I may or may not 0:02:07.200 --> 0:02:11.080 execute that. We'll see anyway. So question one today is 0:02:11.080 --> 0:02:15.040 from Aaron Scully. Eron says. Eron says she didn't even 0:02:15.080 --> 0:02:19.200 say get a harps. Come on. Aeron. Eron says, maybe 0:02:19.240 --> 0:02:22.680 talk about the subconscious mind and the importance of retraining it. 0:02:22.760 --> 0:02:27.560 That's such a good idea. You can read. This is 0:02:27.560 --> 0:02:29.440 from Aaron. You can read every self help book and 0:02:29.480 --> 0:02:32.560 fail because the beliefs in your subconscious mind are running 0:02:32.560 --> 0:02:39.200 the show. That is largely true. Our subconscious mind is 0:02:40.160 --> 0:02:45.880 operating obviously below and behind the old subconscious kind of 0:02:45.960 --> 0:02:49.880 realm that we tend to inhabit a lot. Eron says, 0:02:50.800 --> 0:02:55.480 true lasting change requires reprogramming deeply ingrained beliefs and patterns 0:02:55.520 --> 0:02:58.720 that reside in the subconscious. The question is how to 0:02:58.720 --> 0:03:02.320 do that? That is a good question. Remember, everything I'm 0:03:02.320 --> 0:03:04.639 sharing today is just me thinking out loud. None of 0:03:04.720 --> 0:03:10.720 this is a personal personal prescription or recommendation or program 0:03:10.800 --> 0:03:13.360 per se. It's just me thinking out loud. And so 0:03:13.480 --> 0:03:17.360 then the idea with these I think is I share 0:03:17.400 --> 0:03:22.880 my thoughts and ideas, and I guess feelings or research 0:03:23.160 --> 0:03:26.679 on whatever the topic is, and then you figure out 0:03:26.680 --> 0:03:28.400 what you may or may not do with that. You 0:03:28.440 --> 0:03:30.640 may do nothing, you may do something. You might go 0:03:30.800 --> 0:03:32.840 you know what, I'll roll the dice, I'll try that. 0:03:32.880 --> 0:03:35.000 I'll see what happens. I'll do that for a week 0:03:35.080 --> 0:03:36.840 or two, or you might go fuck it. Fuck, I'm 0:03:36.840 --> 0:03:38.440 going to jump in AI and I'm going to do 0:03:38.480 --> 0:03:41.600 a little bit more investigation and research into that idea 0:03:41.680 --> 0:03:44.400 or that construct or that strategy, and then I might 0:03:44.480 --> 0:03:48.000 operationalize it in my own life, But that is all 0:03:48.080 --> 0:03:51.400 up to you. I'm not here to tell you what 0:03:51.480 --> 0:03:54.080 to do. I'm just a conduit to ideas and thoughts 0:03:54.080 --> 0:03:58.200 and information. But managing your life and making the decisions 0:03:58.520 --> 0:04:00.760 is obviously up to you. Does that sound like a 0:04:00.760 --> 0:04:02.960 big disclaimer? As it was coming out of my mouth, 0:04:03.000 --> 0:04:06.880 I was thinking, my lawyers would be so happy if 0:04:06.880 --> 0:04:11.600 I have lawyers. Grown ups have lawyers. I don't. All right, 0:04:11.680 --> 0:04:16.360 So let's talk about I'm really fascinated with the subconscious mind. 0:04:16.360 --> 0:04:19.680 That I'm fascinated with the way that our subconscious mind 0:04:20.600 --> 0:04:23.599 shapes and forms, and the role that it plays, the 0:04:23.760 --> 0:04:27.320 influence known or unknown that it has in our choices, 0:04:27.400 --> 0:04:32.280 our actions, our behaviors, our reactions, our relationships, our words, 0:04:32.279 --> 0:04:36.680 our conversations, our career, the way that we manage good 0:04:36.680 --> 0:04:39.840 things and bad things, the way that we navigate or 0:04:39.920 --> 0:04:45.599 perhaps create stress and anxiety, all of those things. But 0:04:45.720 --> 0:04:51.839 I guess, I guess what we know about the subconscious 0:04:51.920 --> 0:04:55.800 is that it basically is shaped. And I guess what's 0:04:55.839 --> 0:05:00.359 the word it learns? It gets programmed through rep Titian 0:05:01.080 --> 0:05:05.080 not logic. So if you expose your subconscious to the 0:05:05.120 --> 0:05:09.280 same stimulus or the same message or the same behavior 0:05:09.800 --> 0:05:12.600 often enough, then that thing will start to embedras you 0:05:13.000 --> 0:05:18.039 in your subconscious as truth, absolute truth, even if it 0:05:18.080 --> 0:05:20.880 may not be the absolute truth, but if you hear 0:05:20.920 --> 0:05:24.560 it enough and think it enough. So an example that 0:05:24.600 --> 0:05:26.919 I've spoken about many times on this show is the 0:05:27.279 --> 0:05:31.200 you know, growing up in a particular environment of a 0:05:31.440 --> 0:05:36.200 thought a thought cult, where we all, you know, believe 0:05:36.279 --> 0:05:38.960 the same things. We all Mum and dad believe X, 0:05:39.000 --> 0:05:40.960 and why so we believe X? And why Mum and 0:05:41.080 --> 0:05:43.000 dad eat this way? So we eat this way, And 0:05:43.040 --> 0:05:46.919 Mum and Dad believe in this God or that god 0:05:47.000 --> 0:05:49.920 or this ideology or philosophy or theology, and so that's 0:05:49.960 --> 0:05:53.719 what we do. And then so I grew up in 0:05:53.800 --> 0:06:02.200 a religious environment, and through repetition and through familiarization and programming, 0:06:03.480 --> 0:06:10.719 I eventually had my subconscious mind program to believe certain things, 0:06:11.320 --> 0:06:16.880 despite the fact that I never really I never really 0:06:16.960 --> 0:06:23.440 chose those things. That hardwiring, those ingrained beliefs, those ingrained 0:06:23.480 --> 0:06:29.880 patterns and habits and ways of thinking, that embedded ideology, 0:06:30.480 --> 0:06:38.360 that embedded version of the truth, that happened, that happened 0:06:38.360 --> 0:06:41.839 as a byproduct of just being exposed to certain people 0:06:41.880 --> 0:06:45.960 and certain ideas and certain thinking over a long period 0:06:46.000 --> 0:06:50.280 of time. Now you think about that, So what is 0:06:50.320 --> 0:06:52.640 maybe the antidote to that, Well, the antidote to that, 0:06:52.839 --> 0:06:58.799 or part of the antidote to that, is to think about, Okay, 0:07:00.240 --> 0:07:02.599 is it possible that that thing that I believe, or 0:07:02.640 --> 0:07:05.560 that idea or that belief or that value or that 0:07:06.040 --> 0:07:08.400 whatever it is, that story that I grew up in 0:07:08.440 --> 0:07:11.800 the middle of that is hardwired into my subconscious and 0:07:11.840 --> 0:07:13.960 this is happening in the conscious, this is happening in 0:07:14.000 --> 0:07:18.640 the prefrontal cortex. Is it possible that this is not 0:07:18.840 --> 0:07:21.560 true or that part of it is not true? And 0:07:21.600 --> 0:07:24.440 so maybe what we do is if we want to 0:07:24.480 --> 0:07:31.240 open a new door in regarding say unwiring or reprogramming 0:07:31.440 --> 0:07:34.880 some of that repetition and that programming, we start to 0:07:34.920 --> 0:07:40.280 expose ourselves ourselves to new ideas, to a different information, 0:07:40.480 --> 0:07:45.960 to a different theology or a different training methodology, or 0:07:45.960 --> 0:07:51.520 a different political angle or whatever the thing is. But 0:07:52.520 --> 0:07:57.280 it can't generally, or it doesn't generally happen quickly that 0:07:57.360 --> 0:08:02.040 we reprogram our subconscious and for me personally, coming out 0:08:02.040 --> 0:08:06.000 of an echo chamber of theology, an echo chamber of belief, 0:08:06.160 --> 0:08:10.040 growing up in something that I didn't even realize or 0:08:10.080 --> 0:08:14.720 recognize it took me a long time to reprogram my 0:08:14.800 --> 0:08:18.600 subconscious or to it the very least be able to 0:08:18.760 --> 0:08:24.840 challenge those hardwide subconscious beliefs and ideas. And so I 0:08:24.840 --> 0:08:30.120 think part of part of it is recognizing that these 0:08:30.160 --> 0:08:34.800 things didn't become embedded in my subconscious because I wanted 0:08:34.800 --> 0:08:37.480 them to be there, or I chose them, or I 0:08:37.559 --> 0:08:41.000 thought critically about them, and then over time they became 0:08:41.600 --> 0:08:47.400 my normal cognitive, emotional, psychological, theological operating system. No, that 0:08:47.480 --> 0:08:52.599 didn't happen. What happened was that shit just got programmed 0:08:52.600 --> 0:08:56.360 into me without me even trying, without me even knowing. 0:08:56.920 --> 0:09:00.160 So part of the antidote to that is being willing to. 0:09:01.120 --> 0:09:05.360 By the way, if we can't even admit or consider 0:09:05.440 --> 0:09:08.240 the fact that a thing that we've believed or thought 0:09:08.760 --> 0:09:11.720 or been intertwined with as part of our identity for 0:09:11.760 --> 0:09:14.920 a very long time, if we can't even consider that 0:09:14.920 --> 0:09:18.200 that could be completely wrong or a little bit wrong 0:09:18.400 --> 0:09:25.199 or somewhat flawed, then it's very difficult to unprogrammed that 0:09:25.400 --> 0:09:28.200 subconscious programming, if you know what I mean. The other 0:09:28.200 --> 0:09:35.960 way that this kind of subconscious programming happens is I 0:09:35.960 --> 0:09:39.760 guess environment. You know, all of the and this kind 0:09:39.840 --> 0:09:42.040 of reflects what I was talking about a minute ago. 0:09:42.080 --> 0:09:44.760 But there I was really just talking about the stuff 0:09:44.760 --> 0:09:47.320 that's just programmed into me, the thoughts and ideas, but 0:09:47.760 --> 0:09:51.480 the environment that I'm in and the other stimuli that 0:09:51.520 --> 0:09:59.400 I'm exposed to, different people, different cultures, stories, media, social media, work, environment, 0:09:59.559 --> 0:10:07.719 social environment, relationships. All of these things shape, influence, and 0:10:07.880 --> 0:10:13.960 form in part our subconscious operating system as well, which 0:10:14.000 --> 0:10:17.800 is why sometimes we'll see kids who are raised in 0:10:17.920 --> 0:10:24.640 chaotic homes develop subconscious patterns of anxiety, mistrust, and overfunctioning, 0:10:25.280 --> 0:10:30.880 even if their conscious mind knows better later on. If 0:10:30.920 --> 0:10:35.880 you work in an environment where you feel or you 0:10:35.920 --> 0:10:38.600 live in an environment where you feel threatened or intimidated 0:10:38.720 --> 0:10:42.640 or perhaps at risk, even down the track, when you're 0:10:42.640 --> 0:10:47.040 in an environment, situation, circumstance, house, job, whatever, where you 0:10:47.120 --> 0:10:49.920 are not at and you intellectually know that you're not 0:10:50.000 --> 0:10:56.160 at risk, undoing that subconscious programming just takes It just 0:10:56.240 --> 0:11:00.080 takes time. It takes time, and while there there there 0:11:00.080 --> 0:11:02.480 are no quick fixes to this stuff for me, And 0:11:02.520 --> 0:11:06.120 again these are just my thoughts. I believe that reprogramming 0:11:06.160 --> 0:11:14.600 our subconscious is about consistently, methodically intentionally exposing ourselves to 0:11:14.760 --> 0:11:21.240 new ideas, new people, perhaps new even new cultures, different 0:11:21.280 --> 0:11:27.320 operating systems, different information, trying different things, doing different things, 0:11:27.400 --> 0:11:33.160 being in different places, and once we recognize, once we 0:11:33.600 --> 0:11:36.560 recognize what it is that we need to change. Like, 0:11:36.640 --> 0:11:42.280 for example, my relationship with food was very unhealthy for 0:11:42.280 --> 0:11:45.320 a very long time. I've spoken about it, and I 0:11:45.440 --> 0:11:51.160 had a subconscious and sometimes conscious obsession with making myself 0:11:51.200 --> 0:11:53.840 feel good through food. I didn't smoke, I didn't drink, 0:11:53.880 --> 0:11:56.520 I didn't do drugs. I didn't do a lot of 0:11:56.559 --> 0:11:58.920 things that people do to get that dopamine hit, that 0:11:59.000 --> 0:12:02.240 quick fix that ends to gratification. And so I was 0:12:02.280 --> 0:12:06.199 always pushing the food button as my gateway to dopamine. 0:12:07.000 --> 0:12:12.320 And there was just a lot of subconscious habits, thinking 0:12:13.600 --> 0:12:19.120 rituals that I never chose around food, but nonetheless they 0:12:19.200 --> 0:12:22.520 ended up becoming part of my day to day reality. 0:12:22.880 --> 0:12:26.560 And so I think that for many people, for me, anyway, 0:12:27.320 --> 0:12:32.520 trying to unprogram something, initially it takes one. We've got 0:12:32.520 --> 0:12:37.880 to recognize that that is an unconscious program that's not 0:12:37.960 --> 0:12:44.560 doing us any good, that that's an unconscious mindset or 0:12:44.840 --> 0:12:50.920 kind of operating system that happens automatically, unthinkingly, that is 0:12:51.840 --> 0:12:55.120 on some level a form of self sabotage or self destruction. 0:12:55.920 --> 0:12:58.520 And so then it's recognizing, well, what is better? What 0:12:58.640 --> 0:13:00.960 is a better operating system? What is a better way 0:13:01.000 --> 0:13:04.160 to do this? And then how do I over time 0:13:04.400 --> 0:13:07.720 embed that so that and this is the key, so 0:13:07.800 --> 0:13:11.240 that becomes my new normal, my new normal. How do 0:13:11.840 --> 0:13:15.160 how do I embed that in my subconscious And so 0:13:16.280 --> 0:13:18.079 you know, it's like when people say to me, how 0:13:18.080 --> 0:13:22.640 do you stay so disciplined, so focused, so committed? You know, 0:13:23.200 --> 0:13:25.959 how do you have so much willpower and fucking strength 0:13:26.000 --> 0:13:28.400 and all of these things to train every day? And 0:13:28.440 --> 0:13:30.920 the truth is I don't have all that stuff. I don't, 0:13:32.600 --> 0:13:35.040 but what I sometimes I do. But that's not why 0:13:35.040 --> 0:13:37.079 I train every day. Why I train every day, why 0:13:37.080 --> 0:13:40.040 I work out every day, why I walk my kind 0:13:40.080 --> 0:13:41.960 of ten kilometers a day, give or take, and go 0:13:42.000 --> 0:13:44.800 to the gym and lift shit, is because I've created 0:13:46.040 --> 0:13:49.719 a new normal. I've created a normal operating system that 0:13:49.760 --> 0:13:51.600 reflects who I want to be and how I want 0:13:51.600 --> 0:13:55.400 to be. I've created a normal operating system that aligns 0:13:55.440 --> 0:13:58.400 with my goals and my values and my standards around 0:13:58.440 --> 0:14:04.400 health and wellness and human behavior and human optimization. And 0:14:04.840 --> 0:14:08.880 because I've created that operating system which took discipline and 0:14:09.320 --> 0:14:13.720 structure and organization and accountability in the beginning, but done 0:14:13.800 --> 0:14:18.760 long enough, right, done long enough, it eventually becomes our 0:14:18.840 --> 0:14:23.960 new normal. In other words, it becomes our new subconscious programming. 0:14:24.640 --> 0:14:28.400 And now we don't need to, in inverted commas, try hard. 0:14:28.960 --> 0:14:32.360 We don't need to white knuckle it. We don't need 0:14:32.440 --> 0:14:34.840 to find the will power and the strength and the 0:14:34.920 --> 0:14:38.320 courage because over time I've created a new normal. And 0:14:38.400 --> 0:14:41.000 I guess the question is, you know how long does 0:14:41.080 --> 0:14:44.360 that take? And my experience, there's no number, there's no 0:14:44.440 --> 0:14:46.800 set number. It's different. It depends on what's the thing 0:14:46.840 --> 0:14:50.920 I'm trying to change. How much control does it have 0:14:51.000 --> 0:14:54.160 of my mind and my actions and choices and behaviors 0:14:54.160 --> 0:14:57.600 and outcomes. Is it a fucking nine out of ten 0:14:57.680 --> 0:15:03.120 debilitating all controlling thing or is it a one or 0:15:03.160 --> 0:15:05.240 two out of ten? And I do it, but it's 0:15:05.280 --> 0:15:07.680 not destroying my life. But I recognize that I need 0:15:07.720 --> 0:15:10.360 to change it. So I think some things we can 0:15:10.440 --> 0:15:14.880 reprogram and rewife one a better term quite quickly. Other 0:15:14.960 --> 0:15:17.880 things are going to take a while. But on a 0:15:17.920 --> 0:15:20.840 really practical level, and I'm taken fuck and way too 0:15:20.880 --> 0:15:25.880 long to answer this. One question on a practical level 0:15:26.080 --> 0:15:29.720 is recognize the thing that you want to change, the 0:15:30.160 --> 0:15:33.640 thing that you want to make your new normal. So, 0:15:33.720 --> 0:15:37.240 what's the current normal or the current subconscious programming or 0:15:37.320 --> 0:15:41.640 unconscious programming that's not working? What do you want to 0:15:41.720 --> 0:15:45.240 replace it with? Right? What is a better version? What 0:15:45.360 --> 0:15:48.280 is a better mindset? What is a better protocol? What 0:15:48.440 --> 0:15:54.280 is a better habit? Right? And then create Once we recognize, 0:15:54.520 --> 0:15:56.680 for example, I want to I want to create a 0:15:56.800 --> 0:15:59.720 habit of exercise, or I want to create a habit 0:15:59.760 --> 0:16:03.920 of for me more specifically stretching, or I want to 0:16:03.960 --> 0:16:06.840 create a habit of one hour of study a day. 0:16:07.640 --> 0:16:13.080 I want to create a habit of Oh what do 0:16:13.120 --> 0:16:15.960 I want to create a habit of working in the 0:16:15.960 --> 0:16:18.400 garden thirty minutes, three times a week, whatever it is. 0:16:18.520 --> 0:16:21.040 I mean, you know, it doesn't matter, It only matters 0:16:21.040 --> 0:16:23.360 to you. But recognize the thing that you want to 0:16:23.360 --> 0:16:28.200 be hardwired. Want to be hardwired into your normal operating system, 0:16:28.440 --> 0:16:30.160 to be just part of who you are and how 0:16:30.200 --> 0:16:32.600 you are, not what you're doing when you're in the zone, 0:16:32.680 --> 0:16:35.760 or focused or pumped. And this is the thing about 0:16:35.840 --> 0:16:40.520 recognizing what our subconscious programming is and how it derails 0:16:40.600 --> 0:16:45.360 us and limits us, and then rewiring and reprogramming over time, 0:16:45.680 --> 0:16:48.240 because what we really want to do in this space. 0:16:48.880 --> 0:16:51.040 I don't know if this is helpful or not anyway, 0:16:52.640 --> 0:16:55.960 you know when you second guess yourself. Anyway, what you 0:16:56.000 --> 0:16:58.320 want to do, is, I think, or what we want 0:16:58.360 --> 0:17:01.760 to do is we want to own a time, create, 0:17:01.920 --> 0:17:05.920 like I said, a default setting, a new normal operating system, 0:17:07.240 --> 0:17:13.640 a new programming in that subconscious that is a healthy 0:17:13.760 --> 0:17:19.640 version of normal. So this is me on autopilot. This 0:17:19.720 --> 0:17:23.359 is my subconscious programming which happens to be aligned with 0:17:23.400 --> 0:17:26.440 my values and goals and who and how I want 0:17:26.440 --> 0:17:30.840 to be. And it's not destructive. It's not ruining my life, 0:17:30.840 --> 0:17:34.040 it's not giving me anxiety, it's not making me feel guilty. 0:17:34.359 --> 0:17:37.439 It's actually producing good results. And initially the way that 0:17:37.480 --> 0:17:39.800 we do that is we get clear about that. Then 0:17:39.840 --> 0:17:44.959 we create some rules about that structure process accountability, and 0:17:45.040 --> 0:17:47.000 we just dig in and we do it. We roll 0:17:47.080 --> 0:17:48.879 up our sleeves, and we do it when we don't 0:17:48.920 --> 0:17:52.120 want in inverted commas. We do it when it's not comfortable, 0:17:52.160 --> 0:17:54.320 it's not fun, it's not quick, it's not easy, it's 0:17:54.320 --> 0:17:57.440 not all those things I always talk about. But if 0:17:57.440 --> 0:18:00.520 we can initially, and yes, initially there you are going 0:18:00.600 --> 0:18:04.560 to need discipline, self control, focus, commitment, all of that initially. 0:18:05.200 --> 0:18:07.119 But when we do it for long enough, when we 0:18:07.200 --> 0:18:11.560 can get through the resistance, when we can get through 0:18:11.600 --> 0:18:16.040 the emotional and psychological and physiological resistance of wanting to 0:18:16.080 --> 0:18:19.280 give up because it's hard, when we can come out 0:18:19.359 --> 0:18:23.760 the other side of that, we can build some habits 0:18:23.840 --> 0:18:27.600 that are fucking life changing in a great way. That 0:18:27.760 --> 0:18:32.480 was way too long. I apologize. Next question is from Tanya. 0:18:33.520 --> 0:18:36.080 Go o U d I E. I'm going to go 0:18:36.280 --> 0:18:38.960 is it? I don't know, I don't you know. You 0:18:39.000 --> 0:18:40.560 know when you know, you're going to fuck it up? 0:18:41.040 --> 0:18:42.640 So and then people are going to roll their eyes 0:18:42.680 --> 0:18:44.880 and go is if it's pronounced like that. So I'm 0:18:44.920 --> 0:18:49.040 just going to go. Tanya, You're welcome. Kenya says, why 0:18:49.080 --> 0:18:54.679 do I always overthink everything? Emoji hand up to the face, 0:18:55.119 --> 0:19:01.159 blonde lady emoji. I'm guessing tenure. So this will be 0:19:01.200 --> 0:19:05.159 much quicker than the last one. Thank god. There's a 0:19:05.240 --> 0:19:10.720 range of reasons we overthink things. But generally in my experiences, 0:19:10.760 --> 0:19:14.879 it comes down to fear that we know that we 0:19:14.960 --> 0:19:18.560 need to do something, or we think that we probably 0:19:18.600 --> 0:19:20.760 need to do something, but we don't do it, or 0:19:20.800 --> 0:19:23.040 we don't want it. We kind of want to do it, 0:19:23.119 --> 0:19:24.480 but in the moment we don't want to do it 0:19:24.520 --> 0:19:27.400 because we think we could get embarrassed, or it could 0:19:27.400 --> 0:19:33.720 be hard, or there's some kind of perceived emotional, psychological, physiological, 0:19:33.800 --> 0:19:38.000 or physical risk. We don't want people to judge us, 0:19:38.040 --> 0:19:41.720 we don't want to be kicked out of the group, 0:19:43.080 --> 0:19:46.639 and so on and so on. So overthinking in my 0:19:46.840 --> 0:19:51.360 experience personally with me, I overthink things people, I overthink 0:19:51.440 --> 0:19:55.240 things or I have overthought things in the past because 0:19:55.359 --> 0:19:57.679 I was worried about what people would think or do 0:19:57.920 --> 0:20:01.320 or say. So there's that insect security thing that's part 0:20:01.400 --> 0:20:06.520 of it. And I guess also the self protection thing 0:20:07.359 --> 0:20:12.639 where we we want to protect ourselves, look after ourselves. 0:20:12.680 --> 0:20:15.800 So that you know why we while we love the 0:20:15.920 --> 0:20:20.639 idea of vulnerability, being vulnerable being the real you, and 0:20:20.680 --> 0:20:24.080 we love the idea of building resilience, but the thing is, 0:20:24.520 --> 0:20:27.159 we can only be vulnerable and we can only build 0:20:27.200 --> 0:20:30.600 resilience at the coal face of all of this emotional 0:20:30.600 --> 0:20:36.800 and psychological stuff which fucking terrifies us. And so overthinking 0:20:36.960 --> 0:20:40.879 doesn't make you weak or bad or flawed tenure. Overthinking 0:20:40.880 --> 0:20:44.760 makes you very human. A way to perhaps overcome that, 0:20:44.880 --> 0:20:47.440 or at least begin to overcome that is by breaking 0:20:47.480 --> 0:20:50.760 it down and going and trying to figure out the 0:20:50.800 --> 0:20:53.600 source of the fear or the source of that apprehension 0:20:54.040 --> 0:20:56.880 or the source of the avoidance. Why am I avoiding this? 0:20:58.359 --> 0:21:00.399 Why do I need to do this? Why am I 0:21:00.520 --> 0:21:02.760 not doing it? What is that about? Is it a fear? 0:21:02.880 --> 0:21:04.760 It might not be, it might be something else. For 0:21:04.880 --> 0:21:06.960 me and for many people I've worked with, it's a 0:21:06.960 --> 0:21:10.560 fear of something. Identify the fear. I spoke about this 0:21:10.600 --> 0:21:13.480 the other day. A thing that I've asked myself lots 0:21:13.480 --> 0:21:17.520 of times over the years with this stuff is what's 0:21:17.560 --> 0:21:20.000 the worst that can happen? And this is a common 0:21:20.600 --> 0:21:25.240 kind of strategy used in different forms of psychotherapy, is 0:21:25.280 --> 0:21:28.639 to ask yourself, what's the worst that can happen? And 0:21:28.720 --> 0:21:33.399 if I can deal with the worst, then I'm going 0:21:33.440 --> 0:21:35.520 to jump in. I'm going to jump in if I 0:21:35.560 --> 0:21:39.000 want to do it that much, if it's important enough 0:21:39.359 --> 0:21:45.399 to me all right, next one, Kevin Murphy. Good keV. 0:21:45.840 --> 0:21:48.000 I'm going to say your whole name, because I'm pretty 0:21:48.000 --> 0:21:52.840 sure I'm not fucking up Kevin or Murphy. Kevin Murphy said, 0:21:53.520 --> 0:21:58.760 you mentioned you don't like dumbell bench press. Why do 0:21:58.800 --> 0:22:01.399 you use pin mites in your workouts at all? Or 0:22:01.520 --> 0:22:05.800 only free weights? I did not say that, kid. What 0:22:05.880 --> 0:22:08.760 I said was and if I did, I may have. 0:22:08.840 --> 0:22:10.919 But if I did, then I fucked up because what 0:22:11.040 --> 0:22:15.159 I don't what I don't love is barbell bench press. 0:22:17.080 --> 0:22:18.879 So let me just clarify that. And I may have 0:22:18.920 --> 0:22:21.160 misspoken or you may have misheard me. It doesn't matter 0:22:21.240 --> 0:22:24.440 either way. Let me tell you exactly where I'm at 0:22:24.480 --> 0:22:30.159 with that. So I can't bench press anymore properly. I 0:22:30.160 --> 0:22:32.440 have to bench press very light, if at all, because 0:22:32.920 --> 0:22:36.040 I've got fuck shoulders. So personally I don't love it. 0:22:36.080 --> 0:22:38.520 I love, you know, the idea of like my training 0:22:38.560 --> 0:22:41.639 partner Marquis Son Lucky, who's like fucking twenty five and 0:22:41.720 --> 0:22:45.560 bulletproof benching nearly four hundred pounds. I love watching that, 0:22:45.600 --> 0:22:49.040 and I love, you know, seeing young, big, strong fucking 0:22:49.240 --> 0:22:52.919 blokes lifting things and young strong women lifting things. I 0:22:52.960 --> 0:22:55.000 love all of that shit. But at the same time, 0:22:56.200 --> 0:22:58.040 because I'm old and I've seen a lot of injuries. 0:22:58.080 --> 0:23:00.000 I mean a lot of injuries. I've had a lot 0:23:00.200 --> 0:23:03.320 of injuries. I've torn both rotato cuffs, I've ruptured my 0:23:03.480 --> 0:23:09.480 right peck, I've torn all the muscles, and you know, 0:23:09.880 --> 0:23:14.400 disk issues and being you know, injected with bloody cortizon 0:23:14.440 --> 0:23:17.240 a million times, and all of those things. So I'm 0:23:17.440 --> 0:23:20.800 older and more wary, and also I have a better 0:23:20.880 --> 0:23:26.560 understanding of injuries and recovery, and you know, I essentially 0:23:26.560 --> 0:23:29.040 do a cost benefit analysis some things. I go, what's 0:23:29.080 --> 0:23:32.439 the potential benefit, what's the potential cost risk and reward, 0:23:32.560 --> 0:23:37.439 all of that kind of shit. I actually like. I 0:23:37.520 --> 0:23:41.000 like dumb bells better because you get a better range 0:23:41.000 --> 0:23:44.200 of movement than with a barbell. So I'm not anti barbell. 0:23:44.320 --> 0:23:46.600 The only thing I don't like. The reason I don't 0:23:46.680 --> 0:23:51.560 love barbell bench press purely just from a as a movement, 0:23:51.600 --> 0:23:55.720 I love it, But as a potential health risk for shoulders, 0:23:55.840 --> 0:23:59.600 I don't love it because what happens when you do that, 0:24:00.359 --> 0:24:02.879 when you do that bench press movement, if you're sitting up, 0:24:02.880 --> 0:24:05.280 even in a chair now, and you put your hands 0:24:05.359 --> 0:24:07.760 out in front of you, straight out in front of you. Everyone, 0:24:07.800 --> 0:24:09.919 If you're going to do that with me, join along, 0:24:10.119 --> 0:24:13.560 Join in. And then you bring your hands down to 0:24:13.640 --> 0:24:16.560 your chest and your elbows go back past your ribs 0:24:16.600 --> 0:24:19.080 in a bench press movement. When you do that, your 0:24:19.160 --> 0:24:25.119 shoulder blades or scapuli they come together, they retract towards 0:24:25.200 --> 0:24:28.000 the spines, so they don't just sit there. They move 0:24:28.040 --> 0:24:31.000 in towards the spine, and then when you push the weight, 0:24:31.400 --> 0:24:36.320 they go back out away from the spine, so they 0:24:36.359 --> 0:24:39.760 move in on the downward or the eccentric phase of 0:24:39.800 --> 0:24:41.520 the bench press, and then they move away from the 0:24:41.560 --> 0:24:45.879 spine back into their normal position on the concentric or 0:24:45.920 --> 0:24:49.560 the pushing part of the bench press. Right. That's all cool, 0:24:49.640 --> 0:24:52.880 But here's the problem. Here's the problem. We are lying 0:24:52.920 --> 0:24:57.159 on a bench which doesn't allow your shoulder blades to 0:24:57.480 --> 0:25:02.600 track that way properly because the bench is somewhere between 0:25:02.840 --> 0:25:06.639 quite hard and pretty hard. And what happens is, even 0:25:06.680 --> 0:25:09.200 though you bring your elbows down and your hands down 0:25:09.240 --> 0:25:12.240 towards your chest and that heavy weight down towards your chest, 0:25:12.800 --> 0:25:16.360 your shoulder blades quite often get jammed, so they can't 0:25:17.000 --> 0:25:21.120 move along that plane. Towards the spine smoothly and then 0:25:21.200 --> 0:25:24.800 back away from the spine smoothly because they get jammed 0:25:24.880 --> 0:25:27.920 up in the bench. Now, this is people don't talk 0:25:27.920 --> 0:25:29.800 about this much, but it's actually not great for your 0:25:29.800 --> 0:25:34.800 shoulders at all. It's kind of shit. What is much better, 0:25:37.240 --> 0:25:39.960 what is much better from a shoulder health point of view, 0:25:40.119 --> 0:25:42.639 is using a fitball or whatever you want to call them, 0:25:42.720 --> 0:25:47.560 exercise ball, because you are lying on something which is 0:25:47.720 --> 0:25:52.000 much softer, so it allows for more shoulder mobility and movement. 0:25:52.600 --> 0:25:55.640 And also because of the shape of the ball being convex, 0:25:56.080 --> 0:26:00.720 that is, it's round, and if you are lying in 0:26:00.760 --> 0:26:05.360 the right kind of position, it actually almost fully allows 0:26:05.800 --> 0:26:10.040