WEBVTT - #1962 Creatures Of Habit - Harps 0:00:00.400 --> 0:00:03.200 Get a team. I'm always talking to people about this 0:00:03.360 --> 0:00:08.160 idea of conscious living. You've heard me talk about conscious living, 0:00:08.200 --> 0:00:12.719 intentional living, and I guess the other end of that 0:00:13.280 --> 0:00:19.040 kind of spectrum is sleepwalking through life, unintentional unconscious living. 0:00:19.880 --> 0:00:25.480 And I think, to an extent, to different levels, at 0:00:25.480 --> 0:00:28.159 different times in our life, we move through phases of 0:00:28.720 --> 0:00:33.120 consciousness and unconsciousness, and you know, where we're more focused, 0:00:33.159 --> 0:00:37.320 we're more awake, in inverted commas, we're more aware, and 0:00:37.360 --> 0:00:41.159 then other times when we look up and it's been 0:00:41.200 --> 0:00:44.239 a year and it feels like five minutes, it's like 0:00:44.280 --> 0:00:47.120 at it I get here. And one of the things 0:00:47.120 --> 0:00:49.040 I've said many times on this show is people who 0:00:49.080 --> 0:00:54.720 say to me, after decades of doing life, you know, 0:00:54.840 --> 0:00:57.400 and then at forty or fifty or sixty, they say 0:00:57.440 --> 0:01:00.760 to me, referring to where they are at their current 0:01:01.840 --> 0:01:05.280 point of their journey, this wasn't my plan. This wasn't 0:01:05.280 --> 0:01:09.360 my plan. I'm not where I wanted to be. And 0:01:09.400 --> 0:01:11.520 when I say, and you've heard me say this before, 0:01:11.560 --> 0:01:13.560 but this will be a springboard for the rest of 0:01:13.600 --> 0:01:16.320 the conversation. When I say to them, well can I 0:01:16.360 --> 0:01:20.240 see the plan, they look at me quizzically, and I say, well, 0:01:20.280 --> 0:01:22.559 you said this wasn't my plan. Where I'm at now, 0:01:23.640 --> 0:01:25.560 can I see the plan that you're talking about? And 0:01:25.600 --> 0:01:28.400 of course there's no plan. And for many of us, 0:01:28.480 --> 0:01:32.720 while we are making a level of decisions or a 0:01:32.800 --> 0:01:36.880 degree of decisions and living with some kind of focus 0:01:36.920 --> 0:01:41.360 and intention, maybe this is not relevant for you, so 0:01:41.480 --> 0:01:44.000 tune out. But for some of you, and especially for me, 0:01:44.360 --> 0:01:47.720 over the years, there have been times where I was 0:01:48.600 --> 0:01:54.080 unconsciously doing things on a daily basis that were somewhere 0:01:54.120 --> 0:02:01.920 between suboptimal and fucking terrible. Creatures of habit, we do 0:02:02.000 --> 0:02:06.720 a lot of things without really paying attention. It's like 0:02:07.840 --> 0:02:10.240 my analogy is riding a motorbike. So for me, I 0:02:10.240 --> 0:02:12.600 started riding motorbikes when I was a kid, and I 0:02:12.639 --> 0:02:15.760 started in the dirt in the bush. Then I started 0:02:15.840 --> 0:02:18.000 riding motorbikes on the road when I was eighteen, which 0:02:18.080 --> 0:02:20.799 was forty three years ago. So I can get from 0:02:20.880 --> 0:02:23.200 A to B. I can go on a one hour 0:02:23.280 --> 0:02:25.359 ride where I've got to go somewhere, especially if it's 0:02:25.360 --> 0:02:28.679 somewhere I've been before and it's familiar. I can get 0:02:28.680 --> 0:02:33.280 there and I can't remember specifically putting on the indicator 0:02:33.440 --> 0:02:35.480 pulling in the clutch, putting on the front brake, the 0:02:35.520 --> 0:02:42.880 rear brake, twisting the throttle because I'm paying attention to 0:02:42.960 --> 0:02:45.760 the traffic and the road. But in terms of all 0:02:45.840 --> 0:02:48.320 of the things that I do on autopilot, which is 0:02:49.000 --> 0:02:54.040 riding the motorbike and using all of the various bits 0:02:54.080 --> 0:02:57.560 and pieces on the aforementioned motorbike, I can do it 0:02:57.600 --> 0:03:01.120 without thinking. Now, if doing stuff without thinking in inverted 0:03:01.160 --> 0:03:05.440 commas produces a good outcome, if it's a good habit 0:03:05.480 --> 0:03:08.440 that producers a good outcome, well then that's great. So 0:03:08.560 --> 0:03:12.000 me being able to ride a motorbike without thinking about, Oh, 0:03:12.040 --> 0:03:14.079 I've got to move my fingers on my left hand 0:03:14.160 --> 0:03:16.200 pull in the clutch. I've got to move my fingers, 0:03:16.440 --> 0:03:18.280 and I've got to get my thumb to pull this 0:03:18.360 --> 0:03:21.640 thing across to the left to turn on the left indicator. 0:03:21.639 --> 0:03:23.400 Then I've got to push that thing in with my 0:03:23.520 --> 0:03:26.280 left thumb to cancel the indicator. Then I've got to 0:03:26.320 --> 0:03:28.640 click up this thing or click down this thing with 0:03:28.720 --> 0:03:31.280 my left foot to change the gears. And then I've 0:03:31.320 --> 0:03:33.560 got to twist this thing here with my right hand 0:03:33.560 --> 0:03:36.520 to accelerate or open up the throttle. Then I've got 0:03:36.560 --> 0:03:38.880 to push my right foot down on this thing over 0:03:38.960 --> 0:03:41.560 here to put on the rear brake. I've also got 0:03:41.560 --> 0:03:43.400 to put on the front and rear brake. That's right 0:03:43.440 --> 0:03:45.800 hand and right foot at the same time. So it's 0:03:46.560 --> 0:03:48.920 imagine if I had to think all of that through 0:03:49.000 --> 0:03:51.480 while I was on a motorbike riding somewhere, I wouldn't 0:03:51.520 --> 0:03:54.520 be able to pay attention to what's in front of me, 0:03:55.200 --> 0:03:59.920 to the changing environment, to the changing variables in front 0:03:59.920 --> 0:04:01.640 of me that I need to navigate and deal with 0:04:01.640 --> 0:04:03.800 when I'm on a motorbike. Right, So there's a degree 0:04:03.800 --> 0:04:11.120 of I guess what's that auto pilot. There's a degree 0:04:11.160 --> 0:04:15.119 of repetition, there's a degree of habit that can be 0:04:15.640 --> 0:04:18.919 really valuable. But then at the other end of the scale, 0:04:19.200 --> 0:04:23.839 there's the stuff that we do. We're essentially barely conscious, 0:04:24.680 --> 0:04:28.640 we're just doing stuff that doesn't work for us. So 0:04:28.800 --> 0:04:31.479 day after day we're doing the thing that didn't work 0:04:31.520 --> 0:04:36.760 the day before. We're on a kind of an autopilot 0:04:36.839 --> 0:04:41.880 of self destruction. If not self destruction, at the very least, 0:04:42.640 --> 0:04:46.200 we're wasting our talent, we're wasting our potential. We're not 0:04:46.279 --> 0:04:50.440 optimizing our time or our energy, or our genetics, and 0:04:50.480 --> 0:04:53.520 we're not doing the things that produce the results that 0:04:53.560 --> 0:04:56.840 we would love to see in our life. And one 0:04:56.880 --> 0:05:04.000 of the challenges with that is that your life and 0:05:04.120 --> 0:05:09.760 my life has its own energy. Like my life's already 0:05:09.839 --> 0:05:15.479 up and running, you know, And by life, I mean situation, circumstance, environment, job, 0:05:16.040 --> 0:05:22.400 other people, relationships, you know, habits, behaviors. My life kind 0:05:22.440 --> 0:05:26.640 of as a thing that I inhabit. It's kind of 0:05:26.640 --> 0:05:29.200 got its own It's like a river that's already flowing. 0:05:29.279 --> 0:05:32.240 It has its own energy, it has its own momentum, 0:05:32.720 --> 0:05:35.960 it's moving in a certain direction, good or bad. And 0:05:36.160 --> 0:05:40.000 to a point, my life is already happening. And there 0:05:40.040 --> 0:05:43.760 are times when I am I am the author of 0:05:43.839 --> 0:05:46.359 the story, or I am the driver of the bus 0:05:46.480 --> 0:05:50.480 or the boat in the river and I am steering 0:05:50.520 --> 0:05:53.839 the SS craig, or there are times when it's almost 0:05:53.920 --> 0:05:55.640 like I'm up the back of the bus or the 0:05:55.680 --> 0:05:59.200 boat and I'm a passenger in my own life. And 0:05:59.240 --> 0:06:02.960 I look up five minutes later, and it's been two years, 0:06:03.120 --> 0:06:09.040 and now I've been doing things unconsciously, unintentionally but nonetheless 0:06:09.160 --> 0:06:13.600 automatically that don't serve me, that are not optimal that 0:06:13.760 --> 0:06:16.719 don't work for me. And now I'm two years older, 0:06:17.440 --> 0:06:20.960 and the thing that I wanted two years ago, or 0:06:21.000 --> 0:06:23.320 the things If you had have asked me in this 0:06:23.440 --> 0:06:25.880 hypothetical two years ago, Craig, would you like to be 0:06:25.880 --> 0:06:28.200 a bit fitter and healthier? I would have said yes. 0:06:28.240 --> 0:06:30.599 And if you had asked me two years ago, Craig, 0:06:30.640 --> 0:06:32.480 would you like to be a little bit stressed and 0:06:32.520 --> 0:06:35.800 a little bit more calm calm? I would have gone shit, yere? 0:06:35.839 --> 0:06:37.360 And what about would you like to be a bit 0:06:37.360 --> 0:06:40.520 more productive? Would you like to be a bit more efficient? 0:06:40.560 --> 0:06:42.680 Would you like to waste less time? Would you like 0:06:42.800 --> 0:06:47.200 to be more effective and productive and less busy? Oh? Yeah, 0:06:47.240 --> 0:06:49.160 I would love all of that. Would you like your 0:06:49.200 --> 0:06:52.400 relationships to be or some of your relationships to be 0:06:52.440 --> 0:06:55.800 a little bit healthier? Would you like a little would 0:06:55.839 --> 0:06:59.039 you like a better return on your energetic investment? Oh? 0:06:59.080 --> 0:07:02.240 I would love that too. Now in this hypothetical, I 0:07:02.279 --> 0:07:04.720 wanted all that stuff two years ago, But in the 0:07:04.760 --> 0:07:07.880 interim I haven't done anything to create that. It's just 0:07:07.960 --> 0:07:10.760 something I wanted because I've just been in the flow. 0:07:11.760 --> 0:07:13.920 I've just been in the momentum and the energy of 0:07:13.960 --> 0:07:18.120 my own life, and I've been telling myself stories, and 0:07:18.160 --> 0:07:20.840 the stories are how busy I am and how much 0:07:20.880 --> 0:07:24.200 time I don't have, and how I will do it. 0:07:24.240 --> 0:07:27.640 But I will do it soon when the mystical, mythical, 0:07:27.920 --> 0:07:32.000 magical right time comes. And that's not this week, and 0:07:32.040 --> 0:07:34.480 it's probably not this month or year, but it's coming soon. 0:07:34.920 --> 0:07:37.040 And when that time comes, and I'm going to change 0:07:37.040 --> 0:07:39.120 my life, I'm going to step in underapa bah bah 0:07:39.120 --> 0:07:44.680 bah and then I'm sixty. Now, I'm not for one 0:07:44.760 --> 0:07:51.360 moment suggesting that living this kind of conscious life where 0:07:51.360 --> 0:07:54.200 we are designing and creating and we're stepping out of 0:07:54.240 --> 0:07:57.920 the sleep walking into the conscious creation kind of model. 0:07:58.280 --> 0:08:01.400 I'm not suggesting for one second that it's easy, that 0:08:01.480 --> 0:08:05.120 it's comfortable, that it's convenient or fast or painless, as 0:08:05.160 --> 0:08:10.000 I always say. But if you are a person who 0:08:10.080 --> 0:08:12.080 has listened to a lot of my stuff, or listen 0:08:12.120 --> 0:08:14.480 to a lot of self help or personal development or 0:08:14.760 --> 0:08:18.880 behavior or psychology in whatever format, whatever forum, you know, 0:08:19.280 --> 0:08:25.160 whether it's whatever video, audio, audiobooks, something that you're reading physically, 0:08:25.240 --> 0:08:30.840 it doesn't matter. But at some point, if we really 0:08:30.920 --> 0:08:34.280 are going to be the change that Gandhi talks of, 0:08:34.360 --> 0:08:38.280 if we're really going to be the change, then we 0:08:38.400 --> 0:08:41.520 need to step out of this unconscious kind of repetition. 0:08:43.080 --> 0:08:48.200 You know, this this propensity that we have to choose 0:08:48.200 --> 0:08:53.880 instant gratification over growth to be able to go. Look, 0:08:53.960 --> 0:08:57.360 I'm I'm going to do this. This is not the 0:08:57.400 --> 0:08:59.839 thing I feel like doing because this isn't fun or 0:09:00.160 --> 0:09:02.440 you're comfortable. I don't feel like doing it, but I 0:09:02.520 --> 0:09:04.760 know that I need to do it because I don't 0:09:04.760 --> 0:09:07.240 want to be living in this groundhog day that I've 0:09:07.240 --> 0:09:09.480 been in for the last ten years. And also, I 0:09:09.520 --> 0:09:12.800 know I have more I know I have more talent. 0:09:12.920 --> 0:09:15.319 I know I have more potential. I know I can 0:09:15.360 --> 0:09:17.760 do better with my genetics. I know I can do 0:09:17.840 --> 0:09:21.920 better with my time. I know that I can create 0:09:22.480 --> 0:09:25.240 better relationships. I know that I can learn how to 0:09:25.280 --> 0:09:29.840 be a better communicator. I know that my life is 0:09:29.960 --> 0:09:34.400 telling me, my data, my results are telling me that 0:09:34.440 --> 0:09:41.080 what I'm doing is suboptimal. It is not optimal. I 0:09:41.080 --> 0:09:43.120 don't want to be an Olympic athlete. I don't want 0:09:43.120 --> 0:09:45.200 to run one hundred meters in ten seconds. I don't 0:09:45.240 --> 0:09:48.040 need to be a billionaire. I don't need to cure cancer. 0:09:48.120 --> 0:09:50.840 I don't need to join the space program. I don't 0:09:50.960 --> 0:09:54.160 need to be elite in general terms, but what I 0:09:54.200 --> 0:09:56.920 would really like I would like to be a better 0:09:57.080 --> 0:10:00.680 version of me. I want to be the one who 0:10:00.720 --> 0:10:06.560 is creating opportunities, not hoping opportunities come along, or not 0:10:06.800 --> 0:10:10.520 waiting for an opportunity to present itself. I want to 0:10:10.559 --> 0:10:13.560 be the creator of opportunities. I'm going to make decisions 0:10:13.640 --> 0:10:15.960 and do things, and I'm going to do a stock 0:10:16.000 --> 0:10:17.960 take on my current life, and I'm going to do 0:10:18.240 --> 0:10:21.480 a stock take on my current habits and behaviors. And 0:10:21.520 --> 0:10:25.920 I'm going to assess brutally and honestly and courageously what 0:10:25.960 --> 0:10:28.400 I'm doing that works and what I'm doing that doesn't work, 0:10:28.440 --> 0:10:32.400 based on who and how I want to be. I'm 0:10:32.400 --> 0:10:34.680 not going to bang on this about this today, but 0:10:35.400 --> 0:10:39.520 you know, this idea of stepping out of the sleepwalking 0:10:39.640 --> 0:10:42.240 model of life and into like for want of a 0:10:42.280 --> 0:10:45.800 better term, living fully awake, for me, it just means 0:10:45.840 --> 0:10:52.280 abandoning the autopilot and embracing conscious choosing, conscious behaving, and 0:10:52.320 --> 0:10:58.600 rejecting that that allure of quick fix and magic pills 0:10:58.679 --> 0:11:03.040 and instant gratification in favor of something that's going to 0:11:03.720 --> 0:11:05.959 create the best version of you over the long term, 0:11:06.240 --> 0:11:11.079 and recognizing that you know, while your past has shaped you, 0:11:11.200 --> 0:11:14.880 it doesn't need to define you. Past you doesn't need 0:11:14.920 --> 0:11:18.520 to be future you. What you did yesterday doesn't need 0:11:18.559 --> 0:11:23.400 to be what you do today. It's about creating a 0:11:23.480 --> 0:11:28.640 life with intention and purpose. So sometimes I share stuff 0:11:28.640 --> 0:11:30.560 like this and I just jump off, and I feel 0:11:30.600 --> 0:11:33.640 like maybe a flaw in the way that I teach 0:11:33.679 --> 0:11:37.840 and coaches that I don't I don't leave you with 0:11:37.920 --> 0:11:43.680 perhaps some thoughts or suggestions or practical stuff. So that's 0:11:43.760 --> 0:11:46.080 my bad, and I'm going to try to do that 0:11:46.240 --> 0:11:51.280 a little bit more. And so here's here's something. Here's 0:11:51.280 --> 0:11:55.200 a version of what I do with clients coaching clients. 0:11:55.600 --> 0:11:59.720 And I've done a version of this with me many 0:11:59.800 --> 0:12:03.680 times times, and so using a one to ten scale. 0:12:03.720 --> 0:12:06.480 And this is very much bro science. This is Craig science. 0:12:07.080 --> 0:12:09.040 You're not going to find this on the interwebs. You'll 0:12:09.040 --> 0:12:11.880 find a version of the interwebs. But this is a little, 0:12:12.160 --> 0:12:14.920 very simple model that I created. So let's say we're 0:12:15.000 --> 0:12:17.680 using a one to ten scale. If you want to 0:12:17.720 --> 0:12:20.600 write this down one to three. If you're scoring any 0:12:20.640 --> 0:12:23.040 of these particular areas that I'm about to dive into 0:12:23.080 --> 0:12:25.240 you with If you're scoring any of them are one 0:12:25.240 --> 0:12:27.800 to three, then that probably needs well, that definitely needs 0:12:28.160 --> 0:12:30.680 urgent attention. So you go and crap at that you 0:12:30.720 --> 0:12:33.720 can do better again, No self loathing, just honesty, your 0:12:33.720 --> 0:12:37.440 self awareness, courage. We're not beating ourselves up. We're just going, yep, 0:12:37.520 --> 0:12:40.480 I do this that shit, I can do better. I'm 0:12:40.480 --> 0:12:43.440 gonna do better. Not I hope I do better, not 0:12:43.480 --> 0:12:45.760 I want to do better. I'm going to fucking do better. 0:12:46.200 --> 0:12:47.680 And this is how I'm going to do better. So 0:12:47.760 --> 0:12:50.440 one to three, that thing is, it needs urgent attention. 0:12:51.320 --> 0:12:54.320 Four to six on the infamous Craig Harper scale is 0:12:55.480 --> 0:12:59.520 it's not bad. It's not great, it's not terrible. It's average. 0:12:59.559 --> 0:13:04.400 It could better, but it's okay. It's not dire straits. 0:13:05.679 --> 0:13:08.920 Seven to eight is that's pretty good in that era 0:13:09.040 --> 0:13:11.439 of my life with that particular task or that particular 0:13:11.559 --> 0:13:14.040 variable or that particular factor that I need to address 0:13:14.360 --> 0:13:16.480 to be the best men, to live consciously and to 0:13:16.600 --> 0:13:20.720 step out of the sleepwalking paradigm. I'm giving myself a 0:13:20.760 --> 0:13:23.640 seven to eight or an eight whatever on this, which 0:13:23.679 --> 0:13:26.000 is pretty good. And if you're scoring yourself a nine 0:13:26.080 --> 0:13:27.680 or a ten, we'll get you out. But a cup 0:13:27.679 --> 0:13:30.920 you can probably give yourself a big pass on that 0:13:31.080 --> 0:13:33.240 or a pat on the back. And so that some 0:13:33.360 --> 0:13:37.120 of the and you can come up with your own 0:13:38.400 --> 0:13:42.720 I guess assessment protocol in terms of assessment variables, the 0:13:42.800 --> 0:13:46.240 things that you want to assess. So when I, by 0:13:46.280 --> 0:13:47.920 the way, when I sit down with someone and I 0:13:47.960 --> 0:13:51.680 do this, I really say to them, look, don't overthink it. 0:13:52.280 --> 0:13:55.280 Don't overthink it, like, just what is your number? And 0:13:55.320 --> 0:13:57.600 so with you, I'm going to say to you same. 0:13:59.360 --> 0:14:01.720 You know we can we can wax and win and 0:14:01.760 --> 0:14:03.480 go oh well what about this? What about or we 0:14:03.520 --> 0:14:07.560 can just instinctively we know, we know, don't we Like 0:14:07.640 --> 0:14:09.120 if you said to me, the first one on my 0:14:09.160 --> 0:14:11.560 list is overall physical health, and by that I just 0:14:11.640 --> 0:14:15.839 mean everything. So I mean I mean your body composition, 0:14:16.000 --> 0:14:20.360 I mean your cardiovastioncal fitness, I mean your your immune system, 0:14:20.440 --> 0:14:23.920 your posture, you know everything, your overall physical health. So 0:14:23.960 --> 0:14:27.040 if you said to me, Craig, what's your number, I'm 0:14:27.040 --> 0:14:30.760 going to go seven or eight. And it would really 0:14:30.800 --> 0:14:33.200 take me a while to figure out why I'm saying that. 0:14:33.360 --> 0:14:38.840 But I kind of instinctively and intuitively know I'm not perfect, 0:14:39.560 --> 0:14:42.400 but I'm not shit. I'm pretty good for a sixty 0:14:42.400 --> 0:14:45.120 one year old bloke. I could do a few things 0:14:45.120 --> 0:14:47.160 a little better, and I could. I could sit down 0:14:47.200 --> 0:14:49.800 now and tell you how I could make myself a 0:14:49.920 --> 0:14:53.400 nine or a ten and so on. So number one 0:14:53.520 --> 0:14:56.800 is overall physical health, So one to ten, remember that 0:14:56.960 --> 0:15:00.960 little rating system. Number two is diet, and these are 0:15:01.160 --> 0:15:04.720 of course, of course I'm saying this stuff. And that 0:15:04.760 --> 0:15:10.120 could be not only what you eat the content of 0:15:10.160 --> 0:15:13.160 your diet, but the quality of your diet. It could 0:15:13.160 --> 0:15:15.760 be energy in and out. It could be calories, overall calories. 0:15:15.760 --> 0:15:18.440 It could be your relationship with food. It could be 0:15:18.800 --> 0:15:21.600 the fact that you eat, you don't over eat, but 0:15:22.200 --> 0:15:25.200 you eat sporadically and there's no rhyme or reason and 0:15:26.040 --> 0:15:27.560 you know. Or it could be that you eat when 0:15:27.560 --> 0:15:29.920 you don't need food, and then there are times where 0:15:29.920 --> 0:15:32.360 you do need food you're not eating because you're distracted 0:15:32.440 --> 0:15:36.000 or whatever. But overall, like in terms of how healthy 0:15:36.080 --> 0:15:38.280 or how optimal your diet is for you, what's your 0:15:38.320 --> 0:15:41.120 one to ten score? Next one is cardiovascular fitness or 0:15:41.120 --> 0:15:45.360 aerobic fitness, heart lung fitness, it's really you know, whether 0:15:45.440 --> 0:15:48.920 or not you are seventeen years old or seventy seven 0:15:49.000 --> 0:15:52.080 years old, or eighty seven years old or eighty five 0:15:52.240 --> 0:15:54.720 like my old man. It is really important that you 0:15:54.800 --> 0:15:59.040 are doing something to maintain or depending on your starting point, 0:15:59.040 --> 0:16:03.000 potentially improve your aerobic fitness. And of course that aerobic 0:16:03.040 --> 0:16:07.240 fitness is relative to your ability. We're not talking about 0:16:07.240 --> 0:16:10.240 what's your aerobic fitness compared to a twenty year old 0:16:10.240 --> 0:16:12.840 marathon runner a thirty year old marathon runner. We're saying 0:16:12.880 --> 0:16:17.000 for your potential if you're based on your age, your 0:16:17.080 --> 0:16:20.360 chronological and biological age, and your physiological potential and your 0:16:20.360 --> 0:16:23.240 capacity and your genetics and all of those things. Like 0:16:23.400 --> 0:16:26.920 if if what's possible for you is a ten, where 0:16:26.960 --> 0:16:31.080 are you currently compared to that ten? So aerobic fitness 0:16:31.120 --> 0:16:34.640 strength is my next one. Of course, physical strength, being 0:16:34.760 --> 0:16:38.280 able to move your body, being able to lift stuff, 0:16:38.320 --> 0:16:39.880 being able to get in and out of a chair 0:16:39.920 --> 0:16:41.480 and a car, and being able to get up on 0:16:41.520 --> 0:16:45.400 a ladder without killing yourself if you need to, Being 0:16:45.440 --> 0:16:48.160 able to pick up a kid or a grandkid, being 0:16:48.200 --> 0:16:50.840 able to carry the groceries more than ten feet, and 0:16:50.880 --> 0:16:55.080 all of those things being physically strong, of course, correlates 0:16:55.120 --> 0:16:57.040 to a whole bunch of things that I've told you before, 0:16:57.040 --> 0:16:59.960 I won't tell you again. My next one is job satisfaction. 0:17:01.000 --> 0:17:06.480 Job satisfaction for me is really important. It is important 0:17:06.480 --> 0:17:11.160 that I love what I do for me. It's really 0:17:11.200 --> 0:17:14.560 important that there is a divergence or an intersection of 0:17:14.680 --> 0:17:18.359 me having something that makes a few bucks, that pays 0:17:18.400 --> 0:17:22.119 the bills, that also is a vehicle for me to 0:17:22.280 --> 0:17:25.760 grow and to learn and to develop and build understanding 0:17:25.920 --> 0:17:29.720 and competence, and also a vehicle for me to have fun, 0:17:29.760 --> 0:17:33.159 and also a vehicle for me to build relationships and 0:17:33.280 --> 0:17:36.399 meet awesome people and so on. So for me, a 0:17:36.640 --> 0:17:38.720 job is much more than a thing that I do 0:17:38.880 --> 0:17:42.760 to pay bills for me, Because you know, you think 0:17:42.800 --> 0:17:45.359 about your job or the business that you own, or 0:17:45.400 --> 0:17:47.920 your career or however you want to. You know, the 0:17:49.200 --> 0:17:52.800 time that you spend doing stuff to make money is 0:17:52.880 --> 0:17:57.400 such a huge part of our adult life, our waking hours, 0:17:58.480 --> 0:18:02.560 and for the obvious reasons, but also the not so 0:18:02.680 --> 0:18:07.960 obvious reasons that your work affects everything from obviously your 0:18:07.960 --> 0:18:11.160 bank balance and your ability to pay bills and tick 0:18:11.200 --> 0:18:14.879 all the practical boxes through to your emotional health and 0:18:14.920 --> 0:18:18.720 your mental health and potentially your spiritual health depending on 0:18:18.760 --> 0:18:22.359 your belief system and your immune system, and what is 0:18:22.400 --> 0:18:24.879 happening in your body at a cellular level. If every 0:18:24.960 --> 0:18:27.639 time you step out of the car to walk into 0:18:27.680 --> 0:18:30.760 the office, now your sympathetic nervous systems go on nuts 0:18:31.040 --> 0:18:34.360 because you hate your job, or you don't enjoy your colleagues, 0:18:34.480 --> 0:18:38.960 or you work in a toxic environment or culture. Guess 0:18:39.000 --> 0:18:42.199 what your job is literally fucking bad for your health. 0:18:42.840 --> 0:18:45.240 So what's your job? Out of ten? And we're not 0:18:45.280 --> 0:18:47.680 just talking about how much dough do you make? We're 0:18:47.720 --> 0:18:51.800 talking about all those things I just mentioned now specific 0:18:51.840 --> 0:18:55.320 to money. Out of ten, has your relationship with money? 0:18:57.000 --> 0:19:00.560 I would say my relationship with money is about a 0:19:00.680 --> 0:19:04.920 nine or ten. And that's not because I make heaps 0:19:04.960 --> 0:19:07.640 a dough and I'm amazing with money, but it's because 0:19:07.760 --> 0:19:10.359 it's not, you know, I make enough money, I pay 0:19:10.359 --> 0:19:13.800 the bills, but it's really not something I think about much. 0:19:13.880 --> 0:19:18.040 And that sounds maybe like a lie, it's true, and yes, 0:19:18.119 --> 0:19:21.200 I acknowledge that that is a privilege that I have 0:19:21.800 --> 0:19:25.040 and I'm very grateful for that. But I don't have 0:19:25.640 --> 0:19:28.399 a wife, I don't have four kids. I don't have grandkids. 0:19:28.440 --> 0:19:30.359 I don't have a lot of the demands and a 0:19:30.440 --> 0:19:34.480 lot of the challenges that some people have, So for 0:19:34.600 --> 0:19:37.679 me it's very easy. But what's your score for money? 0:19:38.560 --> 0:19:41.600 For me, money is not something that I'm driven to 0:19:41.640 --> 0:19:44.360 get more of. For me, money is a tool. It's 0:19:44.400 --> 0:19:48.159 a resource that means I can do stuff, help people 0:19:48.359 --> 0:19:53.320 do stuff, build stuff. It's all it is. The next 0:19:53.359 --> 0:19:57.920 one is lifestyle habits and behaviors. So what's your number 0:19:57.960 --> 0:20:00.639 out of ten for your lifestyle? And by that I 0:20:00.680 --> 0:20:04.520 mean I mean things like sleep hygiene, I mean things 0:20:04.600 --> 0:20:07.280 like managing stress and anxiety, or we might just call 0:20:07.440 --> 0:20:12.880 overall balance, life balance, booze, drugs, cigarettes, How many could 0:20:12.880 --> 0:20:14.760 you have? Thirty four coffees a day? Do you drink 0:20:14.800 --> 0:20:19.080 any water? How do you socialize? Is the way that 0:20:19.160 --> 0:20:23.160 you socialize good for you or bad for you? Because 0:20:23.160 --> 0:20:25.760 we can socialize in a way which is actually good 0:20:25.840 --> 0:20:28.399 for our health, It's good for our physical, mental, and 0:20:28.480 --> 0:20:31.800 emotional health. Or we can socialize in a way which 0:20:31.840 --> 0:20:39.119 is toxic and destructive and potentially life threatening, which sounds melodramatic, 0:20:39.160 --> 0:20:44.080 but it isn't because it's true. I've got a few 0:20:44.080 --> 0:20:47.480 to go so one ten mental health kind of touched 0:20:47.520 --> 0:20:52.239 on that a little bit. There close relationships one to 0:20:52.280 --> 0:20:56.399 ten and that could be family, that could be friends, 0:20:56.400 --> 0:20:59.600 that could be your intimate partner, that could be your kids, 0:20:59.680 --> 0:21:02.040 could be your parents, could be a parent, could be 0:21:02.640 --> 0:21:06.200 it could be one relationship that you have one relationship 0:21:06.240 --> 0:21:09.399 in your life that's toxic and unhealthy, and then you 0:21:09.520 --> 0:21:12.359 need to figure out do I want to fix that? 0:21:13.000 --> 0:21:15.880 Do I want to fix that relationship? Can I fix 0:21:15.920 --> 0:21:19.800 that relationship? What's my role in fixing that if I 0:21:19.840 --> 0:21:22.760 want to, or do I need to change the nature 0:21:22.760 --> 0:21:26.119 of the relationship or the dynamics of the relationship where 0:21:26.560 --> 0:21:31.000 that thing that's really affecting me I want to fix it, 0:21:31.040 --> 0:21:33.760 But for a range of reasons, it's not possible because 0:21:33.760 --> 0:21:36.879 it takes two people. So maybe the way that that 0:21:36.960 --> 0:21:40.440 relationship impacts on you or the way that you interact 0:21:40.520 --> 0:21:43.840 with that person. I've had many people in my life 0:21:43.920 --> 0:21:46.240 that needed to be in my life because of a 0:21:46.280 --> 0:21:50.600 particular situational circumstance or role that I was in, and 0:21:50.640 --> 0:21:53.760 so it wasn't optional at that point in time. Those 0:21:53.800 --> 0:21:57.600 people were going to be in my sphere, in my vicinity, 0:21:57.960 --> 0:22:00.600 and I did need to talk with them, interact with them, 0:22:00.640 --> 0:22:04.159 and work alongside them, or coexist with them. And so, 0:22:04.800 --> 0:22:08.040 rather than ending the relationship, which is another option, but 0:22:08.119 --> 0:22:10.600 in this case, I would I would try to figure 0:22:10.600 --> 0:22:14.080 out how do I work optimally with this person, how 0:22:14.080 --> 0:22:16.560 do I need to be not so that I'm compromising 0:22:16.640 --> 0:22:22.199 me and not so that I'm endorsing necessarily their toxic behavior, 0:22:22.600 --> 0:22:27.199 but rather rather than wasting time and energy on something 0:22:27.240 --> 0:22:31.080 that I can't perhaps fix in inverted commas, I'm going 0:22:31.160 --> 0:22:34.200 to figure out out a way to coexist with this person. 0:22:35.400 --> 0:22:37.520 And then, like I said, perhaps the last option there 0:22:37.600 --> 0:22:39.439 is depending of course, there are a range of variables 0:22:39.840 --> 0:22:43.520 around this. But over the years there have been many relationships. 0:22:44.920 --> 0:22:46.919 I don't mean hundreds, but you know more than a 0:22:46.920 --> 0:22:51.320 few relationships that I have ended because I don't think 0:22:51.359 --> 0:22:55.000 that well. I know that that relationship, those particular relationships 0:22:55.080 --> 0:22:58.719 were closer to the unhealthy end, not their healthy end 0:22:58.760 --> 0:23:02.400 of the social scale for me. And then the last 0:23:02.400 --> 0:23:05.800 one is and this is purely dependent on you as 0:23:05.800 --> 0:23:09.359 an individual, but is is you know, the religious and 0:23:09.440 --> 0:23:14.240 spiritual stuff. So, and I've shared many times with you, 0:23:14.320 --> 0:23:18.240 like my spiritual kind of paradigm is just that it's 0:23:18.480 --> 0:23:20.959 far less religious than it once was. I grew up 0:23:20.960 --> 0:23:26.560 in a very religious box, and then I eventually got 0:23:26.560 --> 0:23:28.440 my big toe out, then my foot, then my leg, 0:23:28.480 --> 0:23:30.320 and then I kind of jumped out. Doesn't mean I'm 0:23:30.359 --> 0:23:35.360 anti religion. I'm not. I'm anti some religious behavior. I'll 0:23:35.359 --> 0:23:39.000