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Speaker 1: Get a team. I'm always talking to people about this

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Speaker 1: idea of conscious living. You've heard me talk about conscious living,

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Speaker 1: intentional living, and I guess the other end of that

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Speaker 1: kind of spectrum is sleepwalking through life, unintentional unconscious living.

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Speaker 1: And I think, to an extent, to different levels, at

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Speaker 1: different times in our life, we move through phases of

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Speaker 1: consciousness and unconsciousness, and you know, where we're more focused,

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Speaker 1: we're more awake, in inverted commas, we're more aware, and

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Speaker 1: then other times when we look up and it's been

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Speaker 1: a year and it feels like five minutes, it's like

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Speaker 1: at it I get here. And one of the things

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Speaker 1: I've said many times on this show is people who

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Speaker 1: say to me, after decades of doing life, you know,

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Speaker 1: and then at forty or fifty or sixty, they say

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Speaker 1: to me, referring to where they are at their current

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Speaker 1: point of their journey, this wasn't my plan. This wasn't

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Speaker 1: my plan. I'm not where I wanted to be. And

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Speaker 1: when I say, and you've heard me say this before,

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Speaker 1: but this will be a springboard for the rest of

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Speaker 1: the conversation. When I say to them, well can I

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Speaker 1: see the plan, they look at me quizzically, and I say, well,

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Speaker 1: you said this wasn't my plan. Where I'm at now,

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Speaker 1: can I see the plan that you're talking about? And

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Speaker 1: of course there's no plan. And for many of us,

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Speaker 1: while we are making a level of decisions or a

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Speaker 1: degree of decisions and living with some kind of focus

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Speaker 1: and intention, maybe this is not relevant for you, so

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Speaker 1: tune out. But for some of you, and especially for me,

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Speaker 1: over the years, there have been times where I was

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Speaker 1: unconsciously doing things on a daily basis that were somewhere

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Speaker 1: between suboptimal and fucking terrible. Creatures of habit, we do

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Speaker 1: a lot of things without really paying attention. It's like

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Speaker 1: my analogy is riding a motorbike. So for me, I

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Speaker 1: started riding motorbikes when I was a kid, and I

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Speaker 1: started in the dirt in the bush. Then I started

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Speaker 1: riding motorbikes on the road when I was eighteen, which

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Speaker 1: was forty three years ago. So I can get from

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Speaker 1: A to B. I can go on a one hour

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Speaker 1: ride where I've got to go somewhere, especially if it's

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Speaker 1: somewhere I've been before and it's familiar. I can get

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Speaker 1: there and I can't remember specifically putting on the indicator

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Speaker 1: pulling in the clutch, putting on the front brake, the

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Speaker 1: rear brake, twisting the throttle because I'm paying attention to

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Speaker 1: the traffic and the road. But in terms of all

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Speaker 1: of the things that I do on autopilot, which is

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Speaker 1: riding the motorbike and using all of the various bits

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Speaker 1: and pieces on the aforementioned motorbike, I can do it

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Speaker 1: without thinking. Now, if doing stuff without thinking in inverted

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Speaker 1: commas produces a good outcome, if it's a good habit

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Speaker 1: that producers a good outcome, well then that's great. So

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Speaker 1: me being able to ride a motorbike without thinking about, Oh,

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Speaker 1: I've got to move my fingers on my left hand

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Speaker 1: pull in the clutch. I've got to move my fingers,

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Speaker 1: and I've got to get my thumb to pull this

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Speaker 1: thing across to the left to turn on the left indicator.

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Speaker 1: Then I've got to push that thing in with my

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Speaker 1: left thumb to cancel the indicator. Then I've got to

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Speaker 1: click up this thing or click down this thing with

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Speaker 1: my left foot to change the gears. And then I've

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Speaker 1: got to twist this thing here with my right hand

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Speaker 1: to accelerate or open up the throttle. Then I've got

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Speaker 1: to push my right foot down on this thing over

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Speaker 1: here to put on the rear brake. I've also got

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Speaker 1: to put on the front and rear brake. That's right

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Speaker 1: hand and right foot at the same time. So it's

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Speaker 1: imagine if I had to think all of that through

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Speaker 1: while I was on a motorbike riding somewhere, I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: be able to pay attention to what's in front of me,

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Speaker 1: to the changing environment, to the changing variables in front

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Speaker 1: of me that I need to navigate and deal with

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Speaker 1: when I'm on a motorbike. Right, So there's a degree

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Speaker 1: of I guess what's that auto pilot. There's a degree

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Speaker 1: of repetition, there's a degree of habit that can be

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Speaker 1: really valuable. But then at the other end of the scale,

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Speaker 1: there's the stuff that we do. We're essentially barely conscious,

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Speaker 1: we're just doing stuff that doesn't work for us. So

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Speaker 1: day after day we're doing the thing that didn't work

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Speaker 1: the day before. We're on a kind of an autopilot

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Speaker 1: of self destruction. If not self destruction, at the very least,

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Speaker 1: we're wasting our talent, we're wasting our potential. We're not

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Speaker 1: optimizing our time or our energy, or our genetics, and

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Speaker 1: we're not doing the things that produce the results that

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Speaker 1: we would love to see in our life. And one

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Speaker 1: of the challenges with that is that your life and

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Speaker 1: my life has its own energy. Like my life's already

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Speaker 1: up and running, you know, And by life, I mean situation, circumstance, environment, job,

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Speaker 1: other people, relationships, you know, habits, behaviors. My life kind

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Speaker 1: of as a thing that I inhabit. It's kind of

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Speaker 1: got its own It's like a river that's already flowing.

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Speaker 1: It has its own energy, it has its own momentum,

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Speaker 1: it's moving in a certain direction, good or bad. And

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Speaker 1: to a point, my life is already happening. And there

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Speaker 1: are times when I am I am the author of

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Speaker 1: the story, or I am the driver of the bus

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Speaker 1: or the boat in the river and I am steering

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Speaker 1: the SS craig, or there are times when it's almost

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Speaker 1: like I'm up the back of the bus or the

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Speaker 1: boat and I'm a passenger in my own life. And

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Speaker 1: I look up five minutes later, and it's been two years,

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Speaker 1: and now I've been doing things unconsciously, unintentionally but nonetheless

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Speaker 1: automatically that don't serve me, that are not optimal that

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Speaker 1: don't work for me. And now I'm two years older,

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Speaker 1: and the thing that I wanted two years ago, or

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Speaker 1: the things If you had have asked me in this

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Speaker 1: hypothetical two years ago, Craig, would you like to be

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Speaker 1: a bit fitter and healthier? I would have said yes.

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Speaker 1: And if you had asked me two years ago, Craig,

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Speaker 1: would you like to be a little bit stressed and

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Speaker 1: a little bit more calm calm? I would have gone shit, yere?

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Speaker 1: And what about would you like to be a bit

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Speaker 1: more productive? Would you like to be a bit more efficient?

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Speaker 1: Would you like to waste less time? Would you like

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Speaker 1: to be more effective and productive and less busy? Oh? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I would love all of that. Would you like your

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Speaker 1: relationships to be or some of your relationships to be

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Speaker 1: a little bit healthier? Would you like a little would

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Speaker 1: you like a better return on your energetic investment? Oh?

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Speaker 1: I would love that too. Now in this hypothetical, I

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Speaker 1: wanted all that stuff two years ago, But in the

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Speaker 1: interim I haven't done anything to create that. It's just

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Speaker 1: something I wanted because I've just been in the flow.

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Speaker 1: I've just been in the momentum and the energy of

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Speaker 1: my own life, and I've been telling myself stories, and

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Speaker 1: the stories are how busy I am and how much

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Speaker 1: time I don't have, and how I will do it.

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Speaker 1: But I will do it soon when the mystical, mythical,

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Speaker 1: magical right time comes. And that's not this week, and

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Speaker 1: it's probably not this month or year, but it's coming soon.

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Speaker 1: And when that time comes, and I'm going to change

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Speaker 1: my life, I'm going to step in underapa bah bah

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Speaker 1: bah and then I'm sixty. Now, I'm not for one

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Speaker 1: moment suggesting that living this kind of conscious life where

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Speaker 1: we are designing and creating and we're stepping out of

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Speaker 1: the sleep walking into the conscious creation kind of model.

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Speaker 1: I'm not suggesting for one second that it's easy, that

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Speaker 1: it's comfortable, that it's convenient or fast or painless, as

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Speaker 1: I always say. But if you are a person who

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Speaker 1: has listened to a lot of my stuff, or listen

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Speaker 1: to a lot of self help or personal development or

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Speaker 1: behavior or psychology in whatever format, whatever forum, you know,

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Speaker 1: whether it's whatever video, audio, audiobooks, something that you're reading physically,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't matter. But at some point, if we really

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Speaker 1: are going to be the change that Gandhi talks of,

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Speaker 1: if we're really going to be the change, then we

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Speaker 1: need to step out of this unconscious kind of repetition.

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Speaker 1: You know, this this propensity that we have to choose

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Speaker 1: instant gratification over growth to be able to go. Look,

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm going to do this. This is not the

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Speaker 1: thing I feel like doing because this isn't fun or

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Speaker 1: you're comfortable. I don't feel like doing it, but I

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Speaker 1: know that I need to do it because I don't

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Speaker 1: want to be living in this groundhog day that I've

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Speaker 1: been in for the last ten years. And also, I

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Speaker 1: know I have more I know I have more talent.

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Speaker 1: I know I have more potential. I know I can

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Speaker 1: do better with my genetics. I know I can do

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Speaker 1: better with my time. I know that I can create

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Speaker 1: better relationships. I know that I can learn how to

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Speaker 1: be a better communicator. I know that my life is

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Speaker 1: telling me, my data, my results are telling me that

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Speaker 1: what I'm doing is suboptimal. It is not optimal. I

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Speaker 1: don't want to be an Olympic athlete. I don't want

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Speaker 1: to run one hundred meters in ten seconds. I don't

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Speaker 1: need to be a billionaire. I don't need to cure cancer.

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Speaker 1: I don't need to join the space program. I don't

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Speaker 1: need to be elite in general terms, but what I

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Speaker 1: would really like I would like to be a better

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Speaker 1: version of me. I want to be the one who

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Speaker 1: is creating opportunities, not hoping opportunities come along, or not

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Speaker 1: waiting for an opportunity to present itself. I want to

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Speaker 1: be the creator of opportunities. I'm going to make decisions

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Speaker 1: and do things, and I'm going to do a stock

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Speaker 1: take on my current life, and I'm going to do

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Speaker 1: a stock take on my current habits and behaviors. And

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Speaker 1: I'm going to assess brutally and honestly and courageously what

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Speaker 1: I'm doing that works and what I'm doing that doesn't work,

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Speaker 1: based on who and how I want to be. I'm

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Speaker 1: not going to bang on this about this today, but

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Speaker 1: you know, this idea of stepping out of the sleepwalking

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Speaker 1: model of life and into like for want of a

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Speaker 1: better term, living fully awake, for me, it just means

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Speaker 1: abandoning the autopilot and embracing conscious choosing, conscious behaving, and

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Speaker 1: rejecting that that allure of quick fix and magic pills

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Speaker 1: and instant gratification in favor of something that's going to

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Speaker 1: create the best version of you over the long term,

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Speaker 1: and recognizing that you know, while your past has shaped you,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't need to define you. Past you doesn't need

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Speaker 1: to be future you. What you did yesterday doesn't need

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Speaker 1: to be what you do today. It's about creating a

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Speaker 1: life with intention and purpose. So sometimes I share stuff

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Speaker 1: like this and I just jump off, and I feel

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Speaker 1: like maybe a flaw in the way that I teach

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Speaker 1: and coaches that I don't I don't leave you with

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Speaker 1: perhaps some thoughts or suggestions or practical stuff. So that's

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Speaker 1: my bad, and I'm going to try to do that

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Speaker 1: a little bit more. And so here's here's something. Here's

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Speaker 1: a version of what I do with clients coaching clients.

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Speaker 1: And I've done a version of this with me many

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Speaker 1: times times, and so using a one to ten scale.

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Speaker 1: And this is very much bro science. This is Craig science.

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Speaker 1: You're not going to find this on the interwebs. You'll

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Speaker 1: find a version of the interwebs. But this is a little,

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Speaker 1: very simple model that I created. So let's say we're

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Speaker 1: using a one to ten scale. If you want to

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Speaker 1: write this down one to three. If you're scoring any

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Speaker 1: of these particular areas that I'm about to dive into

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Speaker 1: you with If you're scoring any of them are one

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Speaker 1: to three, then that probably needs well, that definitely needs

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Speaker 1: urgent attention. So you go and crap at that you

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Speaker 1: can do better again, No self loathing, just honesty, your

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Speaker 1: self awareness, courage. We're not beating ourselves up. We're just going, yep,

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Speaker 1: I do this that shit, I can do better. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna do better. Not I hope I do better, not

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Speaker 1: I want to do better. I'm going to fucking do better.

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Speaker 1: And this is how I'm going to do better. So

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Speaker 1: one to three, that thing is, it needs urgent attention.

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Speaker 1: Four to six on the infamous Craig Harper scale is

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Speaker 1: it's not bad. It's not great, it's not terrible. It's average.

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Speaker 1: It could better, but it's okay. It's not dire straits.

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Speaker 1: Seven to eight is that's pretty good in that era

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Speaker 1: of my life with that particular task or that particular

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Speaker 1: variable or that particular factor that I need to address

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Speaker 1: to be the best men, to live consciously and to

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Speaker 1: step out of the sleepwalking paradigm. I'm giving myself a

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Speaker 1: seven to eight or an eight whatever on this, which

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Speaker 1: is pretty good. And if you're scoring yourself a nine

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Speaker 1: or a ten, we'll get you out. But a cup

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Speaker 1: you can probably give yourself a big pass on that

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Speaker 1: or a pat on the back. And so that some

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Speaker 1: of the and you can come up with your own

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Speaker 1: I guess assessment protocol in terms of assessment variables, the

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Speaker 1: things that you want to assess. So when I, by

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Speaker 1: the way, when I sit down with someone and I

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Speaker 1: do this, I really say to them, look, don't overthink it.

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Speaker 1: Don't overthink it, like, just what is your number? And

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Speaker 1: so with you, I'm going to say to you same.

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Speaker 1: You know we can we can wax and win and

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Speaker 1: go oh well what about this? What about or we

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Speaker 1: can just instinctively we know, we know, don't we Like

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Speaker 1: if you said to me, the first one on my

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Speaker 1: list is overall physical health, and by that I just

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Speaker 1: mean everything. So I mean I mean your body composition,

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Speaker 1: I mean your cardiovastioncal fitness, I mean your your immune system,

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Speaker 1: your posture, you know everything, your overall physical health. So

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Speaker 1: if you said to me, Craig, what's your number, I'm

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Speaker 1: going to go seven or eight. And it would really

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Speaker 1: take me a while to figure out why I'm saying that.

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Speaker 1: But I kind of instinctively and intuitively know I'm not perfect,

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Speaker 1: but I'm not shit. I'm pretty good for a sixty

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Speaker 1: one year old bloke. I could do a few things

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Speaker 1: a little better, and I could. I could sit down

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Speaker 1: now and tell you how I could make myself a

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Speaker 1: nine or a ten and so on. So number one

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Speaker 1: is overall physical health, So one to ten, remember that

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Speaker 1: little rating system. Number two is diet, and these are

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Speaker 1: of course, of course I'm saying this stuff. And that

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Speaker 1: could be not only what you eat the content of

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Speaker 1: your diet, but the quality of your diet. It could

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Speaker 1: be energy in and out. It could be calories, overall calories.

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Speaker 1: It could be your relationship with food. It could be

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Speaker 1: the fact that you eat, you don't over eat, but

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Speaker 1: you eat sporadically and there's no rhyme or reason and

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Speaker 1: you know. Or it could be that you eat when

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Speaker 1: you don't need food, and then there are times where

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Speaker 1: you do need food you're not eating because you're distracted

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Speaker 1: or whatever. But overall, like in terms of how healthy

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Speaker 1: or how optimal your diet is for you, what's your

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Speaker 1: one to ten score? Next one is cardiovascular fitness or

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Speaker 1: aerobic fitness, heart lung fitness, it's really you know, whether

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Speaker 1: or not you are seventeen years old or seventy seven

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Speaker 1: years old, or eighty seven years old or eighty five

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Speaker 1: like my old man. It is really important that you

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Speaker 1: are doing something to maintain or depending on your starting point,

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Speaker 1: potentially improve your aerobic fitness. And of course that aerobic

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Speaker 1: fitness is relative to your ability. We're not talking about

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Speaker 1: what's your aerobic fitness compared to a twenty year old

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Speaker 1: marathon runner a thirty year old marathon runner. We're saying

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Speaker 1: for your potential if you're based on your age, your

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Speaker 1: chronological and biological age, and your physiological potential and your

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Speaker 1: capacity and your genetics and all of those things. Like

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Speaker 1: if if what's possible for you is a ten, where

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Speaker 1: are you currently compared to that ten? So aerobic fitness

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Speaker 1: strength is my next one. Of course, physical strength, being

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Speaker 1: able to move your body, being able to lift stuff,

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Speaker 1: being able to get in and out of a chair

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Speaker 1: and a car, and being able to get up on

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Speaker 1: a ladder without killing yourself if you need to, Being

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Speaker 1: able to pick up a kid or a grandkid, being

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Speaker 1: able to carry the groceries more than ten feet, and

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Speaker 1: all of those things being physically strong, of course, correlates

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Speaker 1: to a whole bunch of things that I've told you before,

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Speaker 1: I won't tell you again. My next one is job satisfaction.

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Speaker 1: Job satisfaction for me is really important. It is important

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Speaker 1: that I love what I do for me. It's really

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Speaker 1: important that there is a divergence or an intersection of

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Speaker 1: me having something that makes a few bucks, that pays

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Speaker 1: the bills, that also is a vehicle for me to

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Speaker 1: grow and to learn and to develop and build understanding

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Speaker 1: and competence, and also a vehicle for me to have fun,

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Speaker 1: and also a vehicle for me to build relationships and

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Speaker 1: meet awesome people and so on. So for me, a

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Speaker 1: job is much more than a thing that I do

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Speaker 1: to pay bills for me, Because you know, you think

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Speaker 1: about your job or the business that you own, or

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Speaker 1: your career or however you want to. You know, the

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Speaker 1: time that you spend doing stuff to make money is

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Speaker 1: such a huge part of our adult life, our waking hours,

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Speaker 1: and for the obvious reasons, but also the not so

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Speaker 1: obvious reasons that your work affects everything from obviously your

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Speaker 1: bank balance and your ability to pay bills and tick

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Speaker 1: all the practical boxes through to your emotional health and

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Speaker 1: your mental health and potentially your spiritual health depending on

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Speaker 1: your belief system and your immune system, and what is

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Speaker 1: happening in your body at a cellular level. If every

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Speaker 1: time you step out of the car to walk into

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Speaker 1: the office, now your sympathetic nervous systems go on nuts

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Speaker 1: because you hate your job, or you don't enjoy your colleagues,

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Speaker 1: or you work in a toxic environment or culture. Guess

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Speaker 1: what your job is literally fucking bad for your health.

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Speaker 1: So what's your job? Out of ten? And we're not

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Speaker 1: just talking about how much dough do you make? We're

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Speaker 1: talking about all those things I just mentioned now specific

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Speaker 1: to money. Out of ten, has your relationship with money?

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Speaker 1: I would say my relationship with money is about a

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Speaker 1: nine or ten. And that's not because I make heaps

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Speaker 1: a dough and I'm amazing with money, but it's because

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Speaker 1: it's not, you know, I make enough money, I pay

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Speaker 1: the bills, but it's really not something I think about much.

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Speaker 1: And that sounds maybe like a lie, it's true, and yes,

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Speaker 1: I acknowledge that that is a privilege that I have

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Speaker 1: and I'm very grateful for that. But I don't have

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Speaker 1: a wife, I don't have four kids. I don't have grandkids.

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Speaker 1: I don't have a lot of the demands and a

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Speaker 1: lot of the challenges that some people have, So for

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Speaker 1: me it's very easy. But what's your score for money?

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Speaker 1: For me, money is not something that I'm driven to

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Speaker 1: get more of. For me, money is a tool. It's

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Speaker 1: a resource that means I can do stuff, help people

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Speaker 1: do stuff, build stuff. It's all it is. The next

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Speaker 1: one is lifestyle habits and behaviors. So what's your number

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Speaker 1: out of ten for your lifestyle? And by that I

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Speaker 1: mean I mean things like sleep hygiene, I mean things

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Speaker 1: like managing stress and anxiety, or we might just call

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Speaker 1: overall balance, life balance, booze, drugs, cigarettes, How many could

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Speaker 1: you have? Thirty four coffees a day? Do you drink

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Speaker 1: any water? How do you socialize? Is the way that

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Speaker 1: you socialize good for you or bad for you? Because

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Speaker 1: we can socialize in a way which is actually good

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Speaker 1: for our health, It's good for our physical, mental, and

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Speaker 1: emotional health. Or we can socialize in a way which

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Speaker 1: is toxic and destructive and potentially life threatening, which sounds melodramatic,

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Speaker 1: but it isn't because it's true. I've got a few

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Speaker 1: to go so one ten mental health kind of touched

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Speaker 1: on that a little bit. There close relationships one to

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Speaker 1: ten and that could be family, that could be friends,

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Speaker 1: that could be your intimate partner, that could be your kids,

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Speaker 1: could be your parents, could be a parent, could be

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Speaker 1: it could be one relationship that you have one relationship

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Speaker 1: in your life that's toxic and unhealthy, and then you

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Speaker 1: need to figure out do I want to fix that?

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Speaker 1: Do I want to fix that relationship? Can I fix

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Speaker 1: that relationship? What's my role in fixing that if I

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Speaker 1: want to, or do I need to change the nature

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Speaker 1: of the relationship or the dynamics of the relationship where

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Speaker 1: that thing that's really affecting me I want to fix it,

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Speaker 1: But for a range of reasons, it's not possible because

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Speaker 1: it takes two people. So maybe the way that that

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Speaker 1: relationship impacts on you or the way that you interact

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Speaker 1: with that person. I've had many people in my life

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Speaker 1: that needed to be in my life because of a

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Speaker 1: particular situational circumstance or role that I was in, and

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Speaker 1: so it wasn't optional at that point in time. Those

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Speaker 1: people were going to be in my sphere, in my vicinity,

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Speaker 1: and I did need to talk with them, interact with them,

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Speaker 1: and work alongside them, or coexist with them. And so,

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Speaker 1: rather than ending the relationship, which is another option, but

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Speaker 1: in this case, I would I would try to figure

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Speaker 1: out how do I work optimally with this person, how

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Speaker 1: do I need to be not so that I'm compromising

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Speaker 1: me and not so that I'm endorsing necessarily their toxic behavior,

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Speaker 1: but rather rather than wasting time and energy on something

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Speaker 1: that I can't perhaps fix in inverted commas, I'm going

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Speaker 1: to figure out out a way to coexist with this person.

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Speaker 1: And then, like I said, perhaps the last option there

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Speaker 1: is depending of course, there are a range of variables

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Speaker 1: around this. But over the years there have been many relationships.

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Speaker 1: I don't mean hundreds, but you know more than a

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Speaker 1: few relationships that I have ended because I don't think

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Speaker 1: that well. I know that that relationship, those particular relationships

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Speaker 1: were closer to the unhealthy end, not their healthy end

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Speaker 1: of the social scale for me. And then the last

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Speaker 1: one is and this is purely dependent on you as

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Speaker 1: an individual, but is is you know, the religious and

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Speaker 1: spiritual stuff. So, and I've shared many times with you,

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Speaker 1: like my spiritual kind of paradigm is just that it's

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Speaker 1: far less religious than it once was. I grew up

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Speaker 1: in a very religious box, and then I eventually got

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Speaker 1: my big toe out, then my foot, then my leg,

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Speaker 1: and then I kind of jumped out. Doesn't mean I'm

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Speaker 1: anti religion. I'm not. I'm anti some religious behavior. I'll

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Speaker 1: give you the tip. But for me, my spiritual practice

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Speaker 1: is kindness and love and service, which sometimes I live

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Speaker 1: up to that and sometimes I don't. I would probably

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Speaker 1: give myself a five or six on that. Sometimes I'm

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Speaker 1: a champion and sometimes I'm I let myself down. But anyway,

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Speaker 1: there it is food for thought Team Sleepwalking through Life