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Speaker 1: High Scrollers is produced on gadigul Land.

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Speaker 2: We pay our respects to the traditional custodians of this country.

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Speaker 2: An elder's past and present.

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Speaker 1: Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land.

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Speaker 3: Well well, well look at you and your filming.

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Speaker 2: No jumper over oh, I give it erased, miss beij

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Speaker 2: pooh brown over there, Matt.

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Speaker 4: Before we jump into today's close friends, I just want

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Speaker 4: to do a little reminder which I haven't even like

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Speaker 4: announced here, but I've announced everywhere else by the time

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Speaker 4: this episode is out, and that is that we are

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Speaker 4: doing a competition for Fate Estate, and much like you

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Speaker 4: giving away double passes to your tour, we are giving

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Speaker 4: four double passes away for people to come to fate

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Speaker 4: a State which I'm sure everyone knows by now because

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Speaker 4: it would be all over our socials. But Fate is

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Speaker 4: doing our first ever large gale event. It is an

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Speaker 4: influencer and create an event. But of course we're including

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Speaker 4: the community as well, and I just wanted to say,

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Speaker 4: please go and enter if you haven't already, if you

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Speaker 4: would like the chance to win, and you're going to

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Speaker 4: be there.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. What is Fada State for those who don't know.

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Speaker 4: So, Fada State is in a nutshell. I won't turn

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Speaker 4: this into a big business episode.

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Speaker 2: Where are you doing big business episode on it? Should I?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I already have done one talking all about it,

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Speaker 4: and there might be a second one by the time

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Speaker 4: this comes out.

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Speaker 3: Got to put in a nutshell.

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Speaker 4: We thought we were going to do the whole Coachella thing,

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Speaker 4: you know how when I was talking about that, like

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Speaker 4: ages ago, when we went to coach Teller and I

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Speaker 4: was like, oh, maybe Fate can go to Coachella. But

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Speaker 4: I looked into it, I was like, Nah, this is

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Speaker 4: too much. So we're replicating that same sort of festival

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Speaker 4: feeling and vibe, but in Australia on the same weekend

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Speaker 4: as Coachella, which is either going to be amazing or it's.

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Speaker 2: Going to be a ful.

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Speaker 4: And you know what, Matt, like the girls and I

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Speaker 4: at Fate have been working on this for like a

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Speaker 4: year now, and the whole time we've been freaking out

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Speaker 4: that it's going to be the next Fire Festival.

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Speaker 3: Oh God, you remember that?

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Speaker 2: Did you see that?

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Speaker 3: He did another event?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 3: But it's not.

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Speaker 4: But we have a festival collection that we're dropping, and

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Speaker 4: so we're just going all out with the marketing. We're

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Speaker 4: doing a brand trip with six creators and you and me.

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Speaker 4: But then like the main event is like on the Saturday,

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Speaker 4: where we have a heap of other people coming and

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Speaker 4: we've teamed up with a lot of other iconic Australian

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Speaker 4: brands to kind of make it a little like kind

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Speaker 4: of feels like a little festival or like a PR festival.

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Speaker 3: And I'm just so excited.

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Speaker 4: This could be something amazing that goes so well and

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Speaker 4: we do it every year and it gets a little

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Speaker 4: bit bigger and bigger and bigger every year, or it

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Speaker 4: could be something that we're just doing once and never again.

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Speaker 2: Yep, I'm excited to see how it unfolds.

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Speaker 3: I haven't even told you like what it's going to

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Speaker 3: look like.

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Speaker 2: No, I'm excited for it to be a surprise.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm not going to tell you, but I just

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Speaker 4: wanted to remind everyone jump over onto my socials or

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Speaker 4: fate socials and enter if you haven't already, please.

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Speaker 2: Lovely Well, I'm assuming they'll be alcohol provided at the event, yes,

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Speaker 2: and the jury is still out on whether I will

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Speaker 2: be drinking or not.

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Speaker 3: Well, you could have a mocktail.

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Speaker 2: I could have a mocktail. But today I wanted to

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Speaker 2: tell you because I did kind of float this idea

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Speaker 2: or mention that I had gone sober at the end

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Speaker 2: of last year, and I kind of wanted to give

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Speaker 2: everyone an update because today, at day of recording, is

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Speaker 2: one hundred days sober. Shit. I made it through all

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Speaker 2: of the Christmas and New Year's celebrations one hundred percent sober.

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Speaker 2: I made it through this first half of the year Canada.

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Speaker 2: We didn't even drink any champagne when we got engaged

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Speaker 2: or any thing, you know. So I have had a

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Speaker 2: lot going on that I haven't had any alcohol, you know,

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Speaker 2: at any of the sort of things that any of

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Speaker 2: the celebrations. I guess, and I'll tell you why, because

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Speaker 2: I haven't really spoken about I haven't spoken about this anywhere,

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Speaker 2: but I tell you why. I obviously love and you

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Speaker 2: know what, this is going to be a real open

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Speaker 2: and honest conversation, and I'm going to say things maybe

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Speaker 2: that might be problematic or taken the wrong way or

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Speaker 2: things like that. Just want everyone to know this is

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Speaker 2: a bit of a therapy session right now, and whatever

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Speaker 2: comes out of my mouth, don't hold it against me,

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Speaker 2: you know. But for me, I'm just someone who doesn't

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Speaker 2: drink alcohol unless I want to get drunk, Like I

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Speaker 2: don't go to dinner and like just have a cocktail

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Speaker 2: just to enjoy the cocktail. Like I'm like, if I'm

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Speaker 2: going to dinner and when not getting drunk, I'll just

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Speaker 2: have a coke. Yeah, I'm not going to get a

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Speaker 2: cocktail just for the vibe.

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Speaker 4: And I will say as well, I feel like last

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Speaker 4: year maybe last year, yeah, and like the year before

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Speaker 4: you did very much go into like your party era,

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Speaker 4: and like you were going out in Sydney like every

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Speaker 4: weekend until all hours of the morning, and like you

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Speaker 4: were saying that too, you were like.

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Speaker 1: I'm in my party era, like whatever.

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Speaker 4: But then, you know, there was a few times where

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Speaker 4: I was with you and you'd be like come out,

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Speaker 4: and we'd been somewhere until like ten or eleven at night,

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Speaker 4: and I'd go, no, Matt, like I can't because like

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Speaker 4: those days for me, I'd well and truly done.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And then you'd be like, fuck.

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Speaker 2: It, let's go out. Why do you want to come out?

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Speaker 3: And I'd be like, Matt, I fucking can't. But like

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Speaker 3: you were in your party era, you.

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Speaker 2: Know what made me feel young again. It gave me

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Speaker 2: a breath of fresh air sort of thing, like it

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Speaker 2: was like really fun and I was having a lot

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Speaker 2: of fun. I was having a lot of fun. But

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Speaker 2: the problem was is that it got to a point

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Speaker 2: where I would go out and then I would obviously

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Speaker 2: be written off all Sunday, like I just be dead

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Speaker 2: to the world on.

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Speaker 1: A side wasting that day.

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Speaker 2: Yes, And so my thing was I kind of waded

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Speaker 2: up and I was like, okay, because I think the

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Speaker 2: thing for me was it was the pivotal moment was

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Speaker 2: the TikTok Awards. I mean I'd been floating the idea

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Speaker 2: of just like not having alcohol for a while, but

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Speaker 2: the TikTok Awards it happened and we had an after

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Speaker 2: party hosted by my talent agency. And last year at

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Speaker 2: the TikTok Awards, they did an after party as well,

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Speaker 2: and I got to the TikTok after party. I had

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Speaker 2: a few drinks at the TikTok Awards, got to the

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Speaker 2: after party, went straight to the bar, got a few

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Speaker 2: drinks down them so that I was like in the mood,

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Speaker 2: and went back and got another couple drinks and then

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Speaker 2: it was just a no, this is last, Like this

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Speaker 2: is two years ago, and so had a couple more

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Speaker 2: in my hand and I was then sipping those a

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Speaker 2: bit slowly, but I'd definitely gotten a bit of a buzz.

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Speaker 2: And so then the owner of the talent agency comes

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Speaker 2: up and goes, hey, can you just get up and

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Speaker 2: welcome everyone and you know, doing an acknowledgement of country

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Speaker 2: and just welcome everyone and get the party started and whatever.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, of course yes, And you know,

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Speaker 2: they asked me to do that because they can count

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Speaker 2: on me to do that and they know I'm going

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Speaker 2: to do it well and all the rest of that will.

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Speaker 2: I get on stage and at this after party is

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Speaker 2: like Creators brands of the talent agencies, and I get

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Speaker 2: up and I'm like, hell, welcome to many. You know,

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Speaker 2: it was real fucking bad. And so anyway two years ago,

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Speaker 2: this is two years ago, and I'm like it's like whatever,

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Speaker 2: Like the vibes were still great. It is what it is.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, let's party whoo. And then you know,

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Speaker 2: it was a crazy night. I know, it's a lot

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Speaker 2: of fun. So this year I said to them, if

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Speaker 2: you need me to do that again, let me know

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Speaker 2: in advance, because I won't have any drinks until that's over,

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Speaker 2: because I'll get up and I'll welcome everyone and you

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Speaker 2: know whatever. So we do the TikTok Awards. It's a

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Speaker 2: long day getting ready, doing the phone's going to the

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Speaker 2: TikTok Awards. We already have spoken about that. We know

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Speaker 2: all the drama that happened, all the rest of it.

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Speaker 2: I go back to the hotel, I get changed, I

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Speaker 2: get to the after party and I'm like, right, I'm rany,

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Speaker 2: So you let me know when you want me to

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Speaker 2: get up whatever, and we'll I'll do the little speech

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Speaker 2: and then I'll have my first drink of the night.

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Speaker 2: And so I was prepared for that. So this is

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Speaker 2: now about ten thirty at night, and the after party's

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Speaker 2: been going for about half an hour, and so I'm saying, hey,

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Speaker 2: like when you want me to do this because I'm

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Speaker 2: stinging for a drink. I'm like, hello, like, when do

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Speaker 2: you want me to get up? And anyway, they said

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Speaker 2: to me, you know what, the vibes are really high

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Speaker 2: in here. Everyone's having a good time. I don't think

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Speaker 2: you need to bring the vibes down and do a

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Speaker 2: speech and you know, and welcome everyone. Let's just not

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Speaker 2: do one and I went great, straight to the bar.

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Speaker 2: Four drinks, boom, let's go, and yeah, bullshed up this day.

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Speaker 2: So then you know, crazy times. And the after party

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Speaker 2: went till two am. So I went pretty hard and

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Speaker 2: I went pretty fast, and you know, I got smashed,

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Speaker 2: and it was three and a half hours, right, and

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Speaker 2: I had so much fun. Let me tell you, it

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Speaker 2: was so much fun. And then after that it's like

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Speaker 2: where they run gone? What's ever? I'm doing? Well? Now,

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Speaker 2: I wanted to do anything because it was a bloody

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Speaker 2: Wednesday or Thursday night or something. So then I'm saying,

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Speaker 2: everyone come back to my hotels and then maybe we'll come

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Speaker 2: back to my hotel and we're up just talking and

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Speaker 2: drinking and whatever, and then go to bed. And then

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Speaker 2: Sunday I just felt absolutely awful. Obviously. Oh so it

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Speaker 2: wasn't it wasn't even a Sunday. It was like it

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Speaker 2: was a Friday. Thursday. Yeah, I think it was a Thursday.

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Speaker 2: So I feel absolutely rotten all day and I just

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Speaker 2: had this moment of like laying in bed and going

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Speaker 2: you know what, Like the three and a half hours

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Speaker 2: were really, really fun, but I don't think the three

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Speaker 2: and a half hours are worth losing the next twenty

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Speaker 2: four hours. And that's how I felt, you know, always

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Speaker 2: going out. I was like, yes, I have these amazing

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Speaker 2: fun nights where it's just full of fun and we

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Speaker 2: love it and I'm going crazy. But then is that,

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Speaker 2: you know, four or five hours worth the next day

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Speaker 2: losing a whole day, and I mean life is short,

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Speaker 2: time is money? What am I doing? So that's kind

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Speaker 2: of like where my head was at. And after the

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Speaker 2: TikTok Awards, I actually felt so rotten that I was like,

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Speaker 2: this is this is it? This is the I'm never

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Speaker 2: drinking alcohol again vibe?

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Speaker 4: So what it wasn't after Vegas? That wasn't the tipping

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Speaker 4: point for you, because look.

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Speaker 2: Look what that let do so content? So I was like, right,

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Speaker 2: so download a little lap on my phone called days since,

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Speaker 2: and I went, right, today's the day. I actually wait,

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Speaker 2: I think I waited till the Friday and was like,

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Speaker 2: today's the day. Go and then it's been a hundred

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Speaker 2: days ever since. Let me tell you about a bit

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Speaker 2: of the journey, because obviously I've had to go through

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Speaker 2: things like Christmas and New Year and celebrating the engagement

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Speaker 2: and all the rest of that, and and what it's

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Speaker 2: made me realize it is how just ingrained in our society.

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Speaker 2: Alcohol is in general, like.

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Speaker 4: Obviously one hundred percentthing like every birthday.

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Speaker 2: Like obviously when we got engaged, lots of alcohol came

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Speaker 2: our way, champagne to celebrate all the rest of it.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, okay, well not really drinking any

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Speaker 2: of this, but you know what gifts gifts for friends,

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Speaker 2: I'll be regifting to somebody else. When we were in Canada,

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Speaker 2: you know, we were in Whistler and we were skiing

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Speaker 2: and we'd done our skiing and we came back after

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Speaker 2: skiing to return our skis and our boots and stuff.

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Speaker 2: And the girl was the girl you know who was

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Speaker 2: taking this stuff, was like, oh, what are you doing now?

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Speaker 2: And I said, oh, I think we're just going to

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Speaker 2: go back to the hotel and chill. It's been a

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Speaker 2: big day of skiing. And she goes head across the world,

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Speaker 2: head across the road, get this spiced rum. Blah blah

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Speaker 2: blah blah blah blah blah. It's amazing and it gets

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Speaker 2: you drunk in like two drinks. And I was like,

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Speaker 2: oh yeah, I came like maybe haha. And then you know,

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Speaker 2: even and I have gone out a couple of times

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Speaker 2: and obviously haven't drunk and I'm driving, and you know,

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Speaker 2: my friends will be like, who don't know. I don't

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Speaker 2: like tell people that I'm sober because I don't want

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Speaker 2: to get into the whole everyone has a million questions.

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Speaker 2: I can't be bothered, and so you know, they'll be like, oh,

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Speaker 2: you're drinking tonight and I'm like no, and they're like, oh,

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Speaker 2: you're driving and I'm like yeah, and they're like, you

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Speaker 2: can have one, and I'm like, you know, even if

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Speaker 2: I wasn't sober, I wouldn't have one because I'm not

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Speaker 2: the type of person to just like have one for

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Speaker 2: the vibes. I just don't do that. And so it's weird,

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Speaker 2: like how much more I've noticed alcohol is just there.

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Speaker 2: It's everything, It's everywhere, it's there, it's it's never ending.

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Speaker 2: But the one thing that I'm really struggling with, and

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Speaker 2: this is like what I wanted to talk about, and

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Speaker 2: again open space, open space, like don't take my word

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Speaker 2: for like gospel. But the one thing that I'm really

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Speaker 2: struggling with is when I have gone sober in the past,

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Speaker 2: it's been like, oh my god, I'm a new person.

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Speaker 2: I feel amazing. Blah blah blah blahlah. I'm a hundred

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Speaker 2: days in.

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Speaker 3: You feel the same.

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Speaker 2: Dare I say I feel worse? Dare I say, I'm like,

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Speaker 2: when the fuck does life get fun again? Like I

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Speaker 2: am so insanely bored. I am so I'm waiting for

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Speaker 2: the like the dopamine hit of like, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: I'm like healthy and not drinking and oh my god,

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Speaker 2: life is amazing and butterflies and the smell of grass

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Speaker 2: and oh my god.

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Speaker 3: I don't it's not for everyone.

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Speaker 2: I fucking hate it. I am so ready to have

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Speaker 2: a fucking drink. It is crazy, and not like in

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Speaker 2: an alcoholic way, like I'm not like, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: I need the drink so fucking bad. Like it's not

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Speaker 2: like I'm like, oh but I'm just like I don't

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Speaker 2: think I want to be sober. I think I want

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Speaker 2: to get wrong.

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Speaker 4: No, it's not bad, Like you can do whatever you

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Speaker 4: want at the end of the day. And I think

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Speaker 4: like when people do make decisions to like not drink,

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Speaker 4: they then like suffer with guilt of like if they

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Speaker 4: want to just have one drink kind of thing and

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Speaker 4: going back on your word. But I don't think that

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Speaker 4: applies just to giving up drinking. I think that applies

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Speaker 4: to anything. Like as humans, we find it really difficult

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Speaker 4: to change our mind on something or go back on

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Speaker 4: what we said.

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Speaker 3: But I think we need to normalize it.

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Speaker 4: Like an example for me would be like when I

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Speaker 4: know it's completely unrelated, but when I got my boobs done,

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Speaker 4: and like I publicly said, like, I'm getting my boobs done.

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Speaker 4: This is like when I'm in my early twenties. By

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Speaker 4: the way, everyone in case you weren't around then, and

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Speaker 4: so like this was in my YouTube day. So I

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Speaker 4: went and I got breast in plants. I did a

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Speaker 4: video of talking all about it because everyone had all

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Speaker 4: these questions and made a big deal out of it.

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Speaker 4: And then you know, pretty much not long after I

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Speaker 4: got them done, I felt like I'd made a mistake.

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Speaker 4: But I sat on that thought for like two to

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Speaker 4: three years because I was like, I can't change my

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Speaker 4: mind on what I said or what I decided. But

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Speaker 4: then I finally like got them taken out just because

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Speaker 4: they just didn't feel like they were me. And then

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Speaker 4: like that was a big moment for me in my

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Speaker 4: life where I was like, I want people to become

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Speaker 4: more okay with people changing their mind and going back

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Speaker 4: on what they once said or believed in or whatever.

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Speaker 3: Obviously, getting breast in plants and drinking.

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Speaker 4: Alcohol are two completely different things that we cannot compare.

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Speaker 4: But you know, I think when it comes to drinking,

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Speaker 4: it's a different experience for everyone. I completely agree with

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Speaker 4: you that it is so ingrained into our society, like

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Speaker 4: every event that we want to do is based around alcohol. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: But I think it just comes down to like the

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Speaker 4: individual and what you want to do.

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Speaker 1: Like I've never been like a crazy drunk or anything.

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Speaker 4: Like I don't know if this sounds bad, but like

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Speaker 4: I don't think I can get blackout drunk like I

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Speaker 4: just I never really have, Like I don't have never

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Speaker 4: really been blackout drunk like I always just feel.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think like I've never blacked out unless

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Speaker 2: I've been home in bed, if that makes sense, Like when.

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Speaker 4: You get home and you pass out, yeah, I mean

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Speaker 4: blackout in Vegas.

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Speaker 2: That's probably the only time. Yeah, but I still remember

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Speaker 2: coming home and getting into bed.

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Speaker 4: I feel like for me, like with drinking, like I drink,

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Speaker 4: you know, if I'll go out for a nice dinner

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Speaker 4: or if we've got an event on or whatever. But

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Speaker 4: then I do go for like long stints of not

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Speaker 4: drinking as well, Like I might go like two months

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Speaker 4: and then not drink and then have a drink or whatever.

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Speaker 4: But it is kind of bad. Like I'm a little

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Speaker 4: bit like you, where like I'm not just gonna have

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Speaker 4: one drink. Like if we're going out for dinner and drinks,

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Speaker 4: I want to have six drinks.

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Speaker 3: I want to have seven drinks.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, But I think it just comes down to each

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Speaker 4: individual and discovering what it is that you want to

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Speaker 4: do and what works for you.

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Speaker 2: But you're right at the event thing. Like I went

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Speaker 2: to an event not long ago, and I walked in

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Speaker 2: and there were three waiters standing with trays full of drinks.

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Speaker 4: And I do think it is crazy that we live

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Speaker 4: in a world where, like especially through cocktails, Like I

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Speaker 4: love a cocktail, but like we have fully glamorized drinking

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Speaker 4: alcohol through cocktails, Like I love going and getting my

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Speaker 4: cucumber and gin sprits like you know, and it's like

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Speaker 4: a whole fun experience, but it's drinking alcohol at the

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Speaker 4: end of the day. Yeah, But it just it's what

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Speaker 4: you want to do well and what works.

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Speaker 2: For you, And the problem is, I don't know what

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Speaker 2: works for me right now? Do I Like it's not?

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Speaker 4: But you might, like, let's say, for example, you're coming

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Speaker 4: to fade a state. That might be the first time

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Speaker 4: that you have a drink in your one hundred and something, and.

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Speaker 2: I reckon when this this episode goes live, I'll already have.

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Speaker 4: Had honestly, But you know, you might have that first

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Speaker 4: drink and go, actually, you know what, no, not for me,

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Speaker 4: or you might learn to just have two to three

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Speaker 4: drinks and go, Yep, that's fine and that's nice.

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Speaker 1: Like you know, I just don't you're all or nothing.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, that's that's I just wanted to like, I

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Speaker 2: don't know, I wanted to talk about this today only

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Speaker 2: because and I hope people don't have a problem with it,

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Speaker 2: because it is just like my experience and what I'm

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Speaker 2: going through right now. But you know, you do see

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Speaker 2: people and I'm so happy for them. I see people

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Speaker 2: who have gone sober and they sit on a podcast

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Speaker 2: and they go, life is so much better and I'm sober,

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Speaker 2: and you know, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

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Speaker 2: I feel like and that is definitely their experience I've

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Speaker 2: seen is it? But I'm just saying not currently my experience,

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Speaker 2: it's not going well and I'm not enjoying it, is it?

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Speaker 2: Julia Julia Oh Jewels, Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Jewels from Soberly Speaking podcast. Yeah, recovered party Girl like

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Speaker 4: two years ago. She was my royal flush when she

385
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:11,400
Speaker 4: just started, like her Instagram account about how she used

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Speaker 4: to party like crazy and then she gave it up.

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Speaker 4: But I swear I've seen videos of her, like over

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Speaker 4: the last year or so of her saying, like, being

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Speaker 4: sober is really boring, Like maybe not for everyone, but

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Speaker 4: she said, like it is boring, and you have to

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Speaker 4: get used to, like thinking, Okay, so what am.

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Speaker 3: I going to do on the weekend.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, when everything is so revolved around drinking,

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Speaker 4: it can feel boring when you're sober. Yeah, but some

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Speaker 4: people might disagree and be like, no, it's the best

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Speaker 4: thing ever.

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Speaker 3: Like everyone's different.

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Speaker 4: No, two people can go sober and have the same experience.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think a lot of the people that those

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Speaker 2: I think a lot of the people who you hear

401
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,560
Speaker 2: from are like ones that really hard, like a full

402
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Speaker 2: on addiction and drugs as well. We're probably at play

403
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:03,760
Speaker 2: as well, so maybe it's totally different to me. Who

404
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:07,879
Speaker 2: just isn't that I wasn't as into it as I

405
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Speaker 2: guess other people, is what I'm trying to say. So

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Speaker 2: I don't know, just a different perspective that I felt

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Speaker 2: in my heart I needed to speak on. I've done

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00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:19,600
Speaker 2: it for a hundred days and I'm going, what the

409
00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:22,320
Speaker 2: fuck is this? I'm bored as fuck and I'm over it,

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Speaker 2: and I don't like that I've made this decision. However,

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00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:27,800
Speaker 2: I have been able to get through it. Like you know, Christmas,

412
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Speaker 2: drinking or not drinking. I still had a fabulous Christmas,

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Speaker 2: New Year's Eve, same same deal. Didn't drink, didn't garden party,

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Speaker 2: Still had a fabulous New Year's Eve, still had a

415
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Speaker 2: fabulous engagement, best day ever, didn't need to have a champagne.

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Speaker 2: So there is that aspect that I obviously haven't needed it,

417
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:48,920
Speaker 2: but I want it, but not in a like I'm

418
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:51,480
Speaker 2: stinging for it. It's very hard to explain, but they're

419
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Speaker 2: just my honest thoughts and feelings right now on the

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Speaker 2: sober journey. Who knows, As I said, by the time

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Speaker 2: this video this episode goes up, I've probably had a drink,

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Speaker 2: but I mean, who fucking knows, But the point is

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Speaker 2: we'll see you next Tuesday. H