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Speaker 1: Coming up on Relatables. The reason nobody says to us like, oh,

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Speaker 1: who are you wearing that nice shirt for? Is because

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Speaker 1: it's a shirt and it covers everything up. I've never

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Speaker 1: I don't think I've ever worn nice clothes for someone.

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Speaker 1: It's always assumed that we just wear something that we

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Speaker 1: feel good in. But why isn't it assumed that girls

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Speaker 1: wear stuff that they feel good in because they feel

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Speaker 1: good in it. We wear it because like they wear

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Speaker 1: more revealing things, but they just genuinely feel good in it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and for anyone listening who might have a bit of

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Speaker 1: trust issues in their relationship, there's a fine line between

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Speaker 1: trust issues and control issues. Relatable The Relatables podcast is

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Speaker 1: hosted by myself, Addie Clark aka Mummy, and my partner

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Speaker 1: and cry mister Jake Craig aka Daddy. All Right, guys,

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Speaker 1: we have a little bit of a confession. We are

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Speaker 1: having two weeks off. So this episode you're about to

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Speaker 1: hear is actually a Patreon episode that happened about two

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Speaker 1: to three weeks ago. Yeah, So if you want episodes,

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Speaker 1: they're still going to be up uploaded every single Thursday

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Speaker 1: on Patreon. If you need your here, if you need

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Speaker 1: your fix. It's only five dollars a month, yep. But

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Speaker 1: otherwise there's a Patreon. We're going to enjoy a holiday hopefully,

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Speaker 1: hopefully have a good little breakoff, but otherwise it's patren

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Speaker 1: enjoy it. Okay, Jake, you've heard of the saying, well,

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Speaker 1: I guess it's not really a saying gas lighting. You

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Speaker 1: know what gas lighting is? Its loosely thrown around. Let's

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Speaker 1: say we'll give us a brief description what gas lighting is. Um,

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Speaker 1: I have a brief description of gas lighting.

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Speaker 2: So it's would be like turning.

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Speaker 1: If someone maybe has something that they're trying to bring

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Speaker 1: up with you, you turn it around to make it

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Speaker 1: their fault. Yeah, that's a good example. Or you make

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Speaker 1: them do something without actually telling them to do it,

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Speaker 1: or there's another ultimotive to be do it. So we've

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Speaker 1: heard of that. We don't like that. We hate that stuff.

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Speaker 1: We hate that. Have you heard the theoryly gassing lightly gassing? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: So gas lighting bad, bad, bad, We don't like that stuff. Okay,

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Speaker 1: But lightly gassing is where I would gas say you

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Speaker 1: up before a certain situation to give you a false

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Speaker 1: sense of confidence, so you go into it ready to go.

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Speaker 1: So before this podcast. Maybe you need to be a

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Speaker 1: conference back, Jake. You're really good talking man, Like you're

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Speaker 1: going to be really good today. Do a good job,

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Speaker 1: like you're a good co host. Just got lightly gas. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so I can say, oh, I'm loving the fit today.

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Speaker 1: Go out there killing lightly gas, lightly gas. We up, man,

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Speaker 1: that's what we're bringing to the table these days now.

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Speaker 1: Oh I like lightly gas. Yeah. Same, it's called lightly

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Speaker 1: gas and not gas lighting. Yeah, that's a fucking the

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Speaker 1: opposite of gas light. I'm gonna I'm gonna bring that.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to bring that out. Yeah, it's gonna be

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Speaker 1: lightly gas today. I wanted to start it. I wanted

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Speaker 1: to start sorry, today's episode with well, the Olympic is over.

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Speaker 1: I first wanted to do talk about it. We didn't

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Speaker 1: really talk about much. I just want to talk about it

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Speaker 1: one more time now. The reason I wanted to talk

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Speaker 1: about it was because Australia came fourths, which is good.

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Speaker 1: I think it's great compared to who we were up against. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I can see how your brain is working, and you're

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Speaker 1: going to tell us the population of it. So it's great, mate.

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Speaker 1: And I didn't this isn't this isn't my idea. I

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Speaker 1: saw this on It was on like the news. This

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Speaker 1: is what they did to make Australia look good basically.

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Speaker 1: So the real standings was America first place, China second place,

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Speaker 1: Japan third place, Australia fourth place. But if we go

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Speaker 1: with gold medals per capita, all right, China they have

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Speaker 1: one gold per thirty five million people per capita. Where

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Speaker 1: the fuck did you? I didn't I told you, I

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Speaker 1: didn't figre of this. I got this off the news.

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Speaker 1: So capita means like one for population. Basically, Yeah, America

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Speaker 1: has one gold per eight point three million, Japan one

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Speaker 1: gold per six point two million, Australia one gold per

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Speaker 1: one point four million. So really, yeah, isn't that actually

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Speaker 1: kind of cool? I see that? Just so we have

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Speaker 1: a one point one four million chance of getting a

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Speaker 1: gold medal, yes we do. Fuck going to the Olympics.

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Speaker 1: Fucking go to the Olympics. That's a better that's a

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Speaker 1: better chance of getting a gold medal in the Olympics

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Speaker 1: and winning the lottery. I'm going to sign up for

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Speaker 1: break dancing. Oh we've got to fucking talk about that.

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Speaker 1: Ray Gun. Have you heard what's being on on with

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Speaker 1: that yes, that's corrupt. Yeah yeah, she she like she's

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Speaker 1: like created a governing body like cohursed her way into

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Speaker 1: the Olympics. Isn't that the most insane thing ever still happening? Corruption? Corruption.

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Speaker 1: I don't understand her and her husband. So when I

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Speaker 1: first saw the video going viral of the Australian woman's breakdancing, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and initially I was like, yeah, look, it does look

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Speaker 1: like a joke. But I was like, okay, surely she's

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Speaker 1: just as good as every other female breakdancer. Saw another

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Speaker 1: female breakdancer spinning like a fucking spinning top on her

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Speaker 1: head and do a backflipt and I was like, WHOA,

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Speaker 1: ray Gun sucks. Bruh, she does suck. People were learning

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Speaker 1: her routine like literally on TikTok. In forty five minutes,

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Speaker 1: I watched a video so the inspired unemployed were sent

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Speaker 1: to Paris with the company or whatever getting paid to

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Speaker 1: do it, and they did a video with ray Gun

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Speaker 1: on TikTok and it was them like someone filming walking

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Speaker 1: behind and then they were walking towards camera like kind

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Speaker 1: of dancing a falcon and Jack Better looked just as

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Speaker 1: good as her. It's not better, And I know she

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Speaker 1: wouldn't have been trying, but like she would have been thinking,

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Speaker 1: like I got to do something. They looked just as

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Speaker 1: good as her. Crazy, Like she's sitting there just grabbing

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Speaker 1: on her foot. She was like just fucking like she

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Speaker 1: looks like a worm on the ground. She has a

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Speaker 1: PhD in breakdancing or like dance call do movement baking. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and breaking can get a PhD in anything? How did

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Speaker 1: we get a PhD in podcast? I reckon? She fucking INVENTEDHDD.

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Speaker 1: She's a lecturer at mccorie uni. Yeah, crazy, Hey, and

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Speaker 1: you didn't think that would happen in like the twentieth

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Speaker 1: century or whatever. But you think that's some like dark stuff.

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Speaker 1: When I first brought sports out, yeah, like I was

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Speaker 1: just so confused. I was talking about it with my

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Speaker 1: cousin that day. I was thinking, how did she get

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Speaker 1: chosen to go? Or do you actually not know the story? Really?

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Speaker 1: So I know that she like kind of did a

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Speaker 1: thing where no one was getting funding to get in

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Speaker 1: the eyes to be chosen, but and she did or something.

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Speaker 1: So the conspiracy is if anyone who doesn't know what's

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Speaker 1: going on, Raygun is a breakdancer and the Australian women's

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Speaker 1: breakdancer who's now a worldwide fucking she lost nine nil

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Speaker 1: and breakdancing you can't come last, but she didn't get

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Speaker 1: a single point. But anyway, the conspiracy theory is they

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Speaker 1: needed a governing body to host the breakdancing quarter fires

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Speaker 1: in Australia and they didn't have one, so they hired

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Speaker 1: this company that she had a bit of a connection

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Speaker 1: to or her husband did they owned it or runned

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Speaker 1: it or something. So everyone's like, how does she win?

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Speaker 1: And then the news is like, she's won five or

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Speaker 1: six events, and these five or six events that she's won,

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Speaker 1: her company or her and her husband's breakdancing fucking committee

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Speaker 1: that they own, actually runs it. So they're just pushing

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Speaker 1: Ygun every single time. What crazy? Hey and so? And

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Speaker 1: then in the Australian qualifiers, they hired the same community

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Speaker 1: for all these other breakdancing ones that Raygun's won, So

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Speaker 1: she just won again. Because I'm thinking there's got to

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Speaker 1: be I know, break dancing isn't that big. I was like,

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Speaker 1: there's got to be some good dancing girls. I would

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Speaker 1: think the girls would be better than guys. I think

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Speaker 1: breakdancing it's not small, though, yeah, and like Jerry is

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Speaker 1: definitely they call them. I saw a video some guy

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Speaker 1: was like, there's definitely some good bee boys and be

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Speaker 1: girls in Australia. I've seen my TikTok Australian girls dancing

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Speaker 1: better than Rey Gun. You could have got you could

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Speaker 1: have got a fucking Australian TikTok influencer. Yeah, got famous

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Speaker 1: for a dancing on TikTok. To go out there and

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Speaker 1: she would have at least got a point. Yeah, literally,

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Speaker 1: she would have done something cool. I will say she drubbed,

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Speaker 1: she jumped like a kangaroo. Isn't that crazy? The Olympics

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Speaker 1: and so the rules at the Olympics was they didn't

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Speaker 1: know the song beforehand and they had to make everything

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Speaker 1: up on the spot, right, But they obviously have a

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Speaker 1: fucking rehearse thing I reckon in their head. They would

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Speaker 1: have moves rehearsed and stuff because kind of like break

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Speaker 1: dancing could go with any song or you do it

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Speaker 1: is just sick shit to a soundtrack. The guy Breakdancer,

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Speaker 1: he really brought it back for us. He did sick

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Speaker 1: he was he was so good. I think it just

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Speaker 1: doesn't do break dancing any favors the fact that his

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Speaker 1: first year in the Olympics, yeah, and his controversy with Reygaun.

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Speaker 1: How did she get here at the best stage in

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Speaker 1: the world. Well, that's literally I can see equivalent one

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Speaker 1: hundred meter race, I go and run it. Yeah, it's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: we did a governing body for the one hundred meter race,

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Speaker 1: and then on his like, oh I could run, reckon,

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Speaker 1: I could do this, and then you come last every

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Speaker 1: race and it's like everyone else disqualified. Bodie, you're going through.

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Speaker 1: I've got twelve second. Let's close enough. Fuck me. So

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Speaker 1: I was thinking, but thinking about it. Okay, So she's

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Speaker 1: she's made it. So all the actual good breakdancers don't

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Speaker 1: get a chance. Don't get a chance in Australia. Right,

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Speaker 1: that's just sport for you butt. But what else she

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Speaker 1: did was so her performance was so shit that it

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Speaker 1: went so viral for being so shit, right that everyone's

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Speaker 1: just talking about how shit her performance was compared to

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Speaker 1: how good everyone else's performance was. So now breakdancing looks

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Speaker 1: like a joke, like for the longest time, not for

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Speaker 1: longest time, but I was like, see, this is why

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Speaker 1: you can't put breakdancing in the Olympics. Because it's a joke,

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Speaker 1: but it really isn't because there was some really fucking

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Speaker 1: good breakdances in there. Yeah, she pushed the alarm light

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Speaker 1: away from everyone else. She's made She has single handedly

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Speaker 1: made breakdancing look like a joke of a sport and

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Speaker 1: now never gonna be in the Olympics again. You don't,

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Speaker 1: I don't reckon. Because each each city gets to choose

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Speaker 1: four sports. Oh is that what happens? So that's what

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Speaker 1: happens to one. So France, France chose breakdancing, climbing of something.

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Speaker 1: I think surfing it's been in it for a while,

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Speaker 1: and skateboarding will probably stay that Yeah, and then LA

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Speaker 1: their next Yeah, I think they chose surfing again, they

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Speaker 1: chose cricket. Bro really that's cool. Australia is gonna be

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Speaker 1: T twenty or like, actually, it's got to be T twenty.

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Speaker 1: They don't know how. I hope it's T twenty or

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Speaker 1: just a one day Yeah, you can do it one day. Ye, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's a long it's gonna be the creckt they chose.

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Speaker 1: My sister was telling me what else they didn't choose breakdancing?

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Speaker 1: I don't think so. I know of surfing and fucking

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Speaker 1: the other thing. But isn't that wild wild wild wild?

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Speaker 1: But it does prove like in life growing up, you

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Speaker 1: think it's like this beautiful place of rainbows. It's who

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Speaker 1: you know and not what you know. You know what.

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Speaker 1: That's yeah, perfect definition. Yeah, just fucking get cheat the

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Speaker 1: system and you'll be there. Yeah. Literally, there's no like

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Speaker 1: like she's the industry plant of industry plants. Five. It's

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Speaker 1: like it's like when you grew up, there was the

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Speaker 1: kids making reps and this one kid was always shit

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Speaker 1: and he made it because his dad was like the

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Speaker 1: coach or friends with the coach or whatever. Yeah, everyone

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Speaker 1: knew he was the worst, but it was just like

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Speaker 1: the token card and you couldn't do anything about it

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Speaker 1: because the dad was best made to the coach. Yeah whatever.

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Speaker 1: Whoever's dad was coaching first grade or the representative team,

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Speaker 1: their kid was always in the team and he was

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Speaker 1: always the captain for some reason like that. That's fucking

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Speaker 1: you know what it is. Reygun grew up being that kid,

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Speaker 1: all right. Her mom was a breakdancing coach. She was

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Speaker 1: always being told she's good at breakdancing. She's good at

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Speaker 1: break dancing, You're great don't worry about practicing, just go

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Speaker 1: up there and fucking wing it. And then she's like, well,

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Speaker 1: governing body needs to be made. I tell you what.

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Speaker 1: It was funnier too. It was like all the I

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Speaker 1: think it was maybe politicians or some of the politicians

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Speaker 1: were like doubling down and saying, how proud of They're

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Speaker 1: proud of Reagun they were, and I was just like,

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Speaker 1: come on, like, wake be honest. For once in your

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Speaker 1: fucking life a politician has probably I don't reckon politicians

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Speaker 1: have ever told the truth to ever? I think who's

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Speaker 1: our prime minister at the moment? Alban Easy, Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: saw the thing. It was a quote and she's like,

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Speaker 1: she did well. I think that's all he said. That's

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Speaker 1: all he was permitted to say she did well. He's

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Speaker 1: probably like I can't. I'll vomit if I say anything.

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Speaker 1: Fucking how funny I saw, you know, Jimmy Fallon, He

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Speaker 1: has one of the biggest late night talk shows ever. Right,

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Speaker 1: he did a whole segment where this actor comes out

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Speaker 1: that slightly resembles Regah and she just came out, she

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Speaker 1: just has gone and he was like, you know, she's

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Speaker 1: like just grabbing her foot and ship and I was like,

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Speaker 1: I was like, this is being taken. Oh yeah, And

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Speaker 1: so I just feel bad for all the actual good

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Speaker 1: break dances. That's what I feel about.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, alrighty guys, Lemmas went for work drinks and got

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Speaker 3: very drunk with my work bestie, who I may or

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Speaker 3: may not have a little crush on.

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Speaker 2: However, he's in a long term relationship of four years.

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Speaker 2: But I need help deciphering this one. What does it

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Speaker 2: mean when he suggests we do rounds just us two

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Speaker 2: number two? What does it mean when he hands me

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Speaker 2: his phone and lets me reply in a group chat

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Speaker 2: of his friends and also a separate group chat of

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Speaker 2: just his best friend and brother. At one point, his

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Speaker 2: brother asked in the group chat who was actually messaging

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Speaker 2: from his phone, to which he took the phone back

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Speaker 2: and said, it's Tea. Tea is my nickname, and then

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Speaker 2: his best friend sent him, hm, Who's tea? Winky face?

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Speaker 1: Three. When we were leaving, he waited for me at

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Speaker 1: the train ticket barrier while everyone else went ahead, made

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Speaker 1: sure I got on the right train home, and then

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Speaker 1: messaged me to make sure I got home safely. Every

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Speaker 1: now and then we also talk in the evening via text,

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Speaker 1: he sent me a few memes that are somewhat inside

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Speaker 1: jokes between just us two. And he's always very excited

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Speaker 1: to tell me about new clothes he's bought and how

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Speaker 1: his five a side football game went, et cetera. So

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Speaker 1: basically she's rambling, but she's asking and deciphering these three things.

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Speaker 1: So he's in a four year relationship, Yeah, long term relationship.

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Speaker 1: Let's break down the three questions. Number one, what was it?

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Speaker 2: What does it mean when he suggests we do rounds

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Speaker 2: just us two?

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Speaker 1: Nothing? He just doesn't. He just doesn't want to go

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Speaker 1: up there and get drinks himself. That's that one fact.

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Speaker 1: He's like, I just don't want to go. I want

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Speaker 1: it every second time I want to go. I love

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Speaker 1: rounds because it means you have to walk less and

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Speaker 1: you get drunk quicker, you get drunk kicker walk less.

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Speaker 1: And also, I bet you I could bet money that

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Speaker 1: he gave her his card every time it was his

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Speaker 1: round and she went up to get the drinks. Does

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Speaker 1: that mean something though? Oh maybe not No, because he's lazy. Yeah, true,

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Speaker 1: get him. I do that too. If I'm drinking and

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Speaker 1: I'm on a night out, I'm like, oh, I don't

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Speaker 1: want to get drink, get yourself one. Yeah. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: so that one's gone. Next, would you have our calling

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Speaker 1: you for some reason? Money doesn't exist? No, it does.

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Speaker 1: Worse thing ever, but not my business made. Yeah, fair enough,

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Speaker 1: that's a future of his business. Number two, What does

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Speaker 1: it mean when he hands me his phone and lets

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Speaker 1: me reply in a group chat of his friends and

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Speaker 1: also a separate group chat of just his best friends

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Speaker 1: and brother. So this one's very misleading. My immediate thought

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Speaker 1: was he's a simp, but clearly not because he's got

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Speaker 1: a girlfriend. Is he drunk? I don't know. Is it

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Speaker 1: just something you can't she said they got very drunk.

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Speaker 1: I just think he's drunk and didn't realize what he

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Speaker 1: was doing. But because you're reading into these things and

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Speaker 1: he's thinking this is nothing, Yeah, That's what I'm thinking

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Speaker 1: in my head. No, I agree, Like if I was

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Speaker 1: drunk with a girl a work friend's a yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: they just went out randomly, got drunk, one of those

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Speaker 1: spontaneous ones we accidentally send it and yeah, I think

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Speaker 1: like she's she's reading into this because she was saying

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Speaker 1: she has a little crush on him. Yeah, and when

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Speaker 1: you have a crush on someone. All these little signals,

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Speaker 1: you're like, fuck, he's doing that on purpose. Yeah, you

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Speaker 1: think all these things in him. In his head, he's like,

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Speaker 1: I'm drugly if you reply, he's just doing stuff. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he's just doings. Not I'm thinking he's just been a guy.

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Speaker 1: He's using that wonderful power we don't think. Number three,

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Speaker 1: when we were leaving, he waited for me out the

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Speaker 1: train ticket barrier while everyone else went ahead, made sure

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Speaker 1: I got on the right train home, and then messaged

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Speaker 1: me to make sure I got home safely. This is

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Speaker 1: the only one that could also misleading. But my immediate

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Speaker 1: thought he is a nice guy. So my immediate thought

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Speaker 1: is that, yes, he's a gentleman. Ah, and he's in okay.

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Speaker 2: Another thing I'm also thinking is so you guys your

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Speaker 2: work besties, yuck ah. Also, this situation is just you're

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Speaker 2: okay your work besties. This is you might agree with

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Speaker 2: me about this, Okay, so you work besties. You've got

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Speaker 2: a little cross on him. He's been in a relationship

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Speaker 2: for four years. He loves his girlfriend. You went out,

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Speaker 2: you got drunk.

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Speaker 1: Now you are like ladies sending this you also work drunk,

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Speaker 1: So there's probably like no doubt that, like you were

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Speaker 1: probably just flirting with him a little bit, right, And

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Speaker 1: it's a terrible thing to say, but he probably kind

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Speaker 1: of liked the attention, and he probably liked flirting a

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Speaker 1: little bit because like he just doesn't do it anymore,

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Speaker 1: he hasn't done it for four years. It's not good

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Speaker 1: that he enjoyed it, and he's probably thinking, like it's

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Speaker 1: this flirting with a friend, like, yeah, this is why

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Speaker 1: the friendship doesn't work. Yeah, yeah, it's bans in his head,

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Speaker 1: like I'm just flirting, having a bit of fun, like

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Speaker 1: just yeah, it's just banter. And so I think like

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Speaker 1: he thought it was just a bit of fun, and

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Speaker 1: you maybe took it the wrong way. I'm not condoning

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Speaker 1: what he did. I think what he did was disrespected

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Speaker 1: to his girlfriend. He definitely shouldn't have done it, that's

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Speaker 1: the dilem. No, But I think I don't think you

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Speaker 1: should read into it too much as like he wants

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Speaker 1: to be with you and not his girlfriend. I think

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Speaker 1: that he was just kind of enjoying the man time. No,

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Speaker 1: I agree, Yeah, I think this is case closed. He's

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Speaker 1: just doesn't know what he's doing and you're reading into

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Speaker 1: it too much, unfortunately. Yes, yeah, he's being an idiot. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and you're reading into it. I was kind of not

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Speaker 1: not gonna say you're being an idiot, but you're being Dululu.

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00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:08,080
Speaker 1: You've been a little ululu. Yeah you're also drunk though,

349
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Speaker 1: so like you're also being an idiot, I guess. Yeah. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: But also you shouldn't be asking yourself these questions. If

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Speaker 1: he has a girlfriend, you should just be like, we're friends,

352
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:19,280
Speaker 1: full stop. Yeah, Like, also you need to ask yourself. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: let's say he fucking he does want to leave his

354
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Speaker 1: girlfriend for you, all right, and he's going straight from

355
00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:26,199
Speaker 1: that for your relationship to you. Like it's like, is

356
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Speaker 1: that how you want? No, your relationship starff And like

357
00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:32,080
Speaker 1: if I you can't help crushes, that's relatable. Sometimes you

358
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Speaker 1: get crushes on the most random people. You might have

359
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Speaker 1: a dream about someone and you have a crush on

360
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Speaker 1: the next day. Or dude, when I was single and

361
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Speaker 1: I had a dream about someone, I did get a

362
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Speaker 1: crush on. Yeah, you do. Why it's your body subconsciously,

363
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Speaker 1: I reckon, Like it's like if I'm thinking about them

364
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Speaker 1: in my sleep, Yeah, I've got to be there's got

365
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Speaker 1: to be something exactly, and then you have this weird

366
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Speaker 1: little crush on someone that maybe you wouldn't find attractive usually,

367
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Speaker 1: but you do for some reason now. But it's about

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Speaker 1: keeping yourself accountable, Like you can stop yourself from having

369
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Speaker 1: a crush on this guy. You should just say logically,

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Speaker 1: I know it's hard to use logic sometimes in your

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Speaker 1: brain and say, he's got a girlfriend of four years.

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Speaker 1: I have a crush. That doesn't make sense. Crush over,

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Speaker 1: it's just a crush. It's not like you're in love

374
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Speaker 1: with him. That's a good point, you little crush. Yeah, yeah, okay,

375
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:20,920
Speaker 1: next dilemma, Hello, love the pod. My dilemma is as follows.

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Speaker 1: I'm a twenty year old girl and my boyfriend who

377
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,920
Speaker 1: I've been together with for a year and he's twenty one.

378
00:19:26,359 --> 00:19:30,520
Speaker 1: He is great, amazing. Firstly, that many dilemma start like that.

379
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:34,760
Speaker 1: We've spoken about this. He's great, he's amazing, but there's

380
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:37,320
Speaker 1: just this one thing. Don't fucking excuse the one thing,

381
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Speaker 1: because he is great, amazing, I love him and all

382
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Speaker 1: the rest, but he is insanely jealous. In his last relationship,

383
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Speaker 1: he was cheated on, which has left him feeling very vulnerable.

384
00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:51,399
Speaker 1: I know for a fact that he is jealous slash

385
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:55,560
Speaker 1: overprotective is a trauma response to that, and I can't

386
00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:58,000
Speaker 1: help feeling a bit put off by that. Over the

387
00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:00,440
Speaker 1: years we've been together, he's come so far and his

388
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:04,080
Speaker 1: jealousy issues are less potent, but he still gets very

389
00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:06,840
Speaker 1: weird about me going out and wearing certain clothes, et cetera.

390
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:09,719
Speaker 1: I guess I just want a guy's perspective on this.

391
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Speaker 1: Will he eventually get past this if I keep showing

392
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Speaker 1: him I'm trustworthy? Or is he never gonna? Is he

393
00:20:16,119 --> 00:20:19,120
Speaker 1: never going to get over it? Thanks in advance. Okay,

394
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:25,080
Speaker 1: good dilemma. Actually that's a good one, bro, I have learnt.

395
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Speaker 1: I don't struggle with this. We both jealousy. We both

396
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:31,520
Speaker 1: don't no no, no, no no no. We have that

397
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Speaker 1: like not caring attitude. Trust, We trust, but also don't

398
00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:39,399
Speaker 1: like care. I don't even think I think it's not caring.

399
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:42,239
Speaker 1: I think like we think we don't care. Yeah, but

400
00:20:42,359 --> 00:20:44,440
Speaker 1: I think we do care. But the reason we feel

401
00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:46,639
Speaker 1: like we don't care is just because we trust. True,

402
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:48,840
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Yeah? Yeah, And it's it

403
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:53,000
Speaker 1: is so easy to trust when we're from relationships or

404
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:55,360
Speaker 1: we don't have any past trauma. Yeah, no, I've never

405
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,639
Speaker 1: been cheated on, never been cheated or never had like

406
00:20:57,680 --> 00:20:59,720
Speaker 1: the situation where I thought she was cheating or anything

407
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:04,040
Speaker 1: like that. So it's hard to say, what do you reckon?

408
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:07,600
Speaker 1: So she asked, if she just keeps on, he's getting better,

409
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:11,000
Speaker 1: he's getting better. I don't know. I'm trying to think

410
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:14,919
Speaker 1: here from a guy's perspective, and also just I like

411
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:16,680
Speaker 1: to think of it as like an outsider looking in,

412
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:19,120
Speaker 1: you know, like you said, he is amazing, he has

413
00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:23,240
Speaker 1: this one thing. I think, like I have a few

414
00:21:23,359 --> 00:21:25,439
Speaker 1: you guys must if they have to have spoken about it.

415
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:28,720
Speaker 1: I'm just like, it just doesn't quite sit right with me.

416
00:21:29,119 --> 00:21:32,040
Speaker 1: I know you can't do much about trauma, but like

417
00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:36,000
Speaker 1: I always say, you treat each relationship differently, like you

418
00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:38,440
Speaker 1: don't take past things from what happened in that last

419
00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:40,439
Speaker 1: I know it's hard. Is this a case where he

420
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:42,520
Speaker 1: moved on and got in a relationship before he was ready?

421
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:44,920
Speaker 1: So that's what I was thinking. Yeah, Like, so one

422
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:48,720
Speaker 1: of the reasons I think I don't have trust issues

423
00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:54,680
Speaker 1: is because I as much as it would hurt if

424
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:59,600
Speaker 1: I was cheated on or if but like as much

425
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:03,679
Speaker 1: as that would. I know, I am fine alone, Like,

426
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:05,959
Speaker 1: I'm not afraid to be alone. I could like if

427
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:07,600
Speaker 1: someone said you're gonna be alone for your whole life

428
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:09,800
Speaker 1: and wouldn't really scare me. But I remember when Jake

429
00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:12,440
Speaker 1: broke up with his girlfriend like two or three years

430
00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:14,240
Speaker 1: ago and they were together. How long were you go together?

431
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:17,680
Speaker 1: Nearly three years? Eight? You did initially at the start

432
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:20,960
Speaker 1: struggle to be alone, Yeah, very like very much. Yeah,

433
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,439
Speaker 1: and you worked on yourself and found your independence. Oh

434
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:26,320
Speaker 1: yeah no, yeah, that was fucking so shit, bro. But

435
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:29,480
Speaker 1: I think that's props to you because now your relationship,

436
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:31,480
Speaker 1: if you just jump from your last one to the

437
00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:33,320
Speaker 1: one you're in now, I reckon you'd be very dependent

438
00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:35,320
Speaker 1: on your relationship and nothing would have been fixed that. Yeah,

439
00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:36,800
Speaker 1: nothing would have been fixed. But you took the time

440
00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:39,600
Speaker 1: to deal with those problems yourself. You found your independence

441
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:42,240
Speaker 1: where maybe we don't know the situation of how long

442
00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:46,560
Speaker 1: the time period was between relationships, but is he I

443
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:48,399
Speaker 1: don't think you should be giving him as much like

444
00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:51,119
Speaker 1: I think even if it was two years between relationships,

445
00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:53,640
Speaker 1: he just didn't heal properly. Yeah, And each people heal

446
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:56,159
Speaker 1: their own time, and there's nothing to say that he

447
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:57,760
Speaker 1: can't heal while he's with you. But I think that

448
00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:02,240
Speaker 1: he needs to want to heal, like he needs to

449
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:04,960
Speaker 1: actually want it, Like he needs to hate feeling jealous

450
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:09,159
Speaker 1: and hate feeling protective. Yeah, but he might like those things.

451
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:11,040
Speaker 1: So you need to speak to him and you need

452
00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:13,960
Speaker 1: to be like, hey, I'm kind of getting sick of

453
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:16,639
Speaker 1: this jealousy thing, like really really sick of it. I

454
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:18,680
Speaker 1: want to be able to go out with friends, all right,

455
00:23:19,119 --> 00:23:21,800
Speaker 1: And I by all means like I want to message

456
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:23,399
Speaker 1: you where I am, I want to give you updated,

457
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:24,600
Speaker 1: I want to do this, or I want to be

458
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:26,040
Speaker 1: able to wear what I want to wear. I'm not

459
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:28,280
Speaker 1: wearing it for other dudes. I'm wearing it for me

460
00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:32,199
Speaker 1: because I genuinely feel good in this thing, exactly like

461
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:35,239
Speaker 1: a guy. The reason nobody says to us like, oh,

462
00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:37,480
Speaker 1: who are you wearing that nice shirt for? Is because

463
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:39,480
Speaker 1: it's a shirt and it covers everything up. I've never

464
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:41,879
Speaker 1: I don't think i've ever worn nice clothes for someone.

465
00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:44,040
Speaker 1: It's always assumed that we just wear something that we

466
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:46,399
Speaker 1: feel good in. But why isn't it assumed that girls

467
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:48,240
Speaker 1: wear stuff that they feel good in because they feel

468
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:51,200
Speaker 1: good in it, we wear it because like they wear

469
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:54,040
Speaker 1: more revealing things, but they just genuinely feel good in it. Yeah.

470
00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:56,280
Speaker 1: And for anyone listening who might have a bit of

471
00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:58,679
Speaker 1: trust is used in their relationship, there's a fine line

472
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:06,159
Speaker 1: between trust issues and control issues. Yeah, and that's what

473
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:08,359
Speaker 1: you've got to reassess in your relationship. Is he just

474
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:11,920
Speaker 1: trying to control you or does he actually have trust issues?

475
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:15,639
Speaker 1: That's a good, good question because that's a fine line

476
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:19,239
Speaker 1: because he's saying, what are you like choosing what you

477
00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:21,600
Speaker 1: wear that doesn't rub me the right way, not at all,

478
00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:23,560
Speaker 1: And he could be using that he was cheated on

479
00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:27,320
Speaker 1: and has trust issues as a bit of an excuse. Yeah. Now, yeah,

480
00:24:27,359 --> 00:24:29,679
Speaker 1: So if he really wanted to get that fixed and

481
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:31,240
Speaker 1: you said, like I'm sick of this, I wanted to

482
00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:33,440
Speaker 1: be fixed and he hated feeling that way, he will

483
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:35,719
Speaker 1: get it fixed. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, And it's just like

484
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:38,600
Speaker 1: slowly building on it. So you're saying, I'm going to

485
00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:40,320
Speaker 1: wear this, this is for me, I love you, I'm

486
00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:42,160
Speaker 1: and be home at ten o'clock, maybe having a twelve

487
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:45,160
Speaker 1: o'clock or whatever. Nothing's going to happen, trust me. Yeah,

488
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:47,280
Speaker 1: Like my phone's on if you text me, I'll reply,

489
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:48,920
Speaker 1: I just want to go out fun with my friends,

490
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:51,280
Speaker 1: and this is what I want to wear. I feel good. Yeah,

491
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:53,040
Speaker 1: Like doesn't he want you to feel good? Yeah? And

492
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:54,720
Speaker 1: if he says something, that's when it's like going on

493
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:56,479
Speaker 1: the contruls, like it doesn't make me feel good, Like

494
00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:58,399
Speaker 1: it's what you wear, Like, I don't know how they

495
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:01,439
Speaker 1: can make anyone feel bad. Yeah, this is fucking weird. Yeah,

496
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:03,399
Speaker 1: Like and just yeah, if a guy comes up to you,

497
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:04,960
Speaker 1: he just needs to trust that you're going to be like, no,

498
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:07,640
Speaker 1: I have a fucking boyfriend. Yeah. Yeah, you should reenact.

499
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:09,719
Speaker 1: That's a fun thing to do. Reenact, Like, so you

500
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:11,399
Speaker 1: say to your boyfriend, it's a fun little activity. You'll

501
00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:13,680
Speaker 1: be like, pretend you're a random guy and then say

502
00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 1: come up to me at the club and then you

503
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:17,280
Speaker 1: do your reaction. Yeah, and you can do fun shit

504
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:18,800
Speaker 1: and you can like spit on him and shit like

505
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:22,080
Speaker 1: but you can do that legit. One of the attempts

506
00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:24,760
Speaker 1: can be like, hey, I've got a boyfriend. Yeah, I

507
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:26,600
Speaker 1: think I think that's probably your best bet. Do you

508
00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:28,720
Speaker 1: got to try and hammer into him like that. You're

509
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:32,960
Speaker 1: really sick of this, yeah, Yeah, it's affecting you. It's

510
00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:35,440
Speaker 1: coming up on a year. Like I know, it takes

511
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:37,520
Speaker 1: a long time to heal trauma, but you just need

512
00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:40,240
Speaker 1: to slowly, slowly tap away out of it. Yeah, how

513
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:43,240
Speaker 1: do I find a good guy to date? I'm twenty

514
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:45,720
Speaker 1: five years old, I have a good job, great family,

515
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:49,560
Speaker 1: creative pursuits, plus I'm acutie. Last week i'm asked with

516
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:52,080
Speaker 1: a guy ten years older than me, which isn't uncommon

517
00:25:52,119 --> 00:25:55,479
Speaker 1: for me. We got drinks and laughed a lot. At

518
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:57,399
Speaker 1: the end of the night, we had a kiss. He

519
00:25:57,480 --> 00:25:59,520
Speaker 1: invited me over to his place and I told him

520
00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:01,240
Speaker 1: I don't want to sleep with guys in the first day.

521
00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:03,960
Speaker 1: He was sweet and silly about it and said we

522
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:06,680
Speaker 1: could just drink some beers and make out. And we did.

523
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:09,520
Speaker 1: We fought around a little and it was really fun.

524
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,879
Speaker 1: The next day he didn't text me. Tired of waiting,

525
00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 1: I sent him a message that I had a good time.

526
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:18,680
Speaker 1: It took him forty eight hours to respond, not even

527
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:21,720
Speaker 1: with a date proposal or anything. I'm confused because we

528
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:23,919
Speaker 1: had such a nice time, and he even told me

529
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:28,159
Speaker 1: that he was obsessed with my lips in quotes. But

530
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:31,719
Speaker 1: I really mug but I feel really mugged off. I

531
00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:34,600
Speaker 1: liked the guy and want to see him again, but

532
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:36,840
Speaker 1: I guess he doesn't feel the same. How can I

533
00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:39,520
Speaker 1: go about asking about it? I want to know if

534
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:42,639
Speaker 1: I did something to turn him off, or if he

535
00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:44,199
Speaker 1: just wanted to sleep with me and not talk to

536
00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:46,760
Speaker 1: me again. Please help a girl out. I hate it.

537
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:50,440
Speaker 2: Here was here like this single life, I guess.

538
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:55,959
Speaker 1: Or with dating men the one I don't know, like

539
00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:58,680
Speaker 1: I reckon this is case clothes drop him, fuck him.

540
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:01,399
Speaker 1: I obviously dropp him, fuck him. I do. I do

541
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:05,080
Speaker 1: think that when he was like, oh, come back to

542
00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:06,679
Speaker 1: my place and you said, oh, I don't want to

543
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:09,040
Speaker 1: sleep with some of the first date, and then he

544
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,920
Speaker 1: said that's all right, we'll just we'll just have fun,

545
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,040
Speaker 1: make out a little, drink some beers, and you said

546
00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:16,760
Speaker 1: yes to that. I think in his head he thought, oh,

547
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 1: she will sleep with me to yeah. I think he

548
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,640
Speaker 1: thought like, oh, yeah, no, she she at least get ahead. Yeah,

549
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:25,639
Speaker 1: like she'll will do something like you know, she'll she'll

550
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:29,280
Speaker 1: she'll change her mind. There's one thing. We've brought it

551
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:31,760
Speaker 1: up on the pot a couple of times. When you

552
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:34,440
Speaker 1: start dating people, you should make like a little doesn't

553
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:36,359
Speaker 1: have to be a physical list, but at least a

554
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:39,480
Speaker 1: little mental list of some of the things you need

555
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:42,720
Speaker 1: out of your partner moving forward. And one of those

556
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:45,760
Speaker 1: things I think most lists should have is he slashed.

557
00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:49,560
Speaker 1: She she knows what she wants out of the relationship. Yeah,

558
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:53,000
Speaker 1: and you obviously like you're looking for a relationship. By hell,

559
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:56,400
Speaker 1: you're talking. He obviously is looking to sleep with people. Yes,

560
00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:59,280
Speaker 1: he can't say that you can, so you should just

561
00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:01,040
Speaker 1: be like, Nah, this isn't the right guy for me.

562
00:28:01,119 --> 00:28:03,480
Speaker 1: You can't change people like that. What you've got to

563
00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:05,480
Speaker 1: accept in a relationship. You can't change the people you

564
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:07,640
Speaker 1: want to sleep with, Like that's just how they are

565
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:09,120
Speaker 1: and it's not healthy when you try and do it.

566
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:14,719
Speaker 1: It's such a good point, like manipulation, A little bit true, man, true.

567
00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:18,680
Speaker 1: I think year, I don't know. I think that he's

568
00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:22,119
Speaker 1: fucking you're twenty five, he's thirty five. There's nothing wrong

569
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:24,040
Speaker 1: with that. But I don't know. I think I think

570
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 1: you're just not reading between the lines. He saw a

571
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:28,720
Speaker 1: pot twenty five year old acuteye as you said, match

572
00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:29,840
Speaker 1: with the one that wanted to go on a date

573
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:31,439
Speaker 1: with him. Yeah, and he's like, fuck, yeah, I'm going

574
00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:33,280
Speaker 1: to have sex with her, and then you did the

575
00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:35,480
Speaker 1: right thing and said I want to wait, and he's like,

576
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:37,119
Speaker 1: oh damn it. And then you just gonna get some

577
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:38,520
Speaker 1: drinks and he's probably like, oh, if she gets a

578
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:40,680
Speaker 1: few drinks, I can have sex for all. He probably

579
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:43,120
Speaker 1: was thinking that, yeah, and that's not right by any means.

580
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:44,840
Speaker 1: So I think if you dodged a ball in the way,

581
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:47,920
Speaker 1: and I think it's it is quite often like the attractive,

582
00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:53,840
Speaker 1: charismatic guys that are the creeps that do think that, like, oh,

583
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:55,080
Speaker 1: if I could just get it back to my place,

584
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:58,360
Speaker 1: like I'll I'll get the consent like they they get

585
00:28:58,400 --> 00:28:59,840
Speaker 1: like they do the nice thing, like they get consent,

586
00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:01,920
Speaker 1: like they don't fucking like, you know, sexually assault you.

587
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:06,600
Speaker 1: But I think it's the guys that like just chip away. Yeah,

588
00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:09,960
Speaker 1: y're the shitty creepy dudes. Yeah, you dodged a bullet,

589
00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:14,360
Speaker 1: I think in a way. And you said, what did

590
00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:16,760
Speaker 1: I do wrong? That's a lot of people say that

591
00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:18,680
Speaker 1: when they like they come out of a date and

592
00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:20,560
Speaker 1: it didn't work out, and it's always like, what can

593
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:22,160
Speaker 1: I do better? Well, can I do something to make

594
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:25,280
Speaker 1: him love me more? It's not you, It just didn't work,

595
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:27,760
Speaker 1: Like the situation of YouTube being together didn't work. You

596
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:30,000
Speaker 1: weren't the problem. You're not fucking ugly, you weren't not

597
00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:33,320
Speaker 1: funny or anything like that. It's that you guys don't

598
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:36,240
Speaker 1: gel together or you're in different headspaces. It's not a

599
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:39,560
Speaker 1: you problem, it's the together problem. Yeah, I'm not what

600
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:41,479
Speaker 1: I'm about to say. I'm not saying in a mean way,

601
00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:44,640
Speaker 1: all right, but like I don't mean it in a

602
00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:47,920
Speaker 1: mean way, and I'm sure you do. But I think, like,

603
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:53,520
Speaker 1: if you're asking yourself, like what did I do wrong?

604
00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:57,520
Speaker 1: Are you all that confident in yourself? Like if you

605
00:29:57,600 --> 00:29:59,760
Speaker 1: were if you had one hundred percent confidence in yourself

606
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:01,280
Speaker 1: and you went in a date with a guy, I

607
00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:02,720
Speaker 1: had a great time, thought he really liked you, but

608
00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:04,720
Speaker 1: then he didn't message you and he didn't ask you

609
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:08,200
Speaker 1: on a second date. If you were like very confident

610
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:10,080
Speaker 1: in yourself, wouldn't you just be saying to yourself like

611
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:13,240
Speaker 1: he loss? You know, I was being myself. I'm happy

612
00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:14,840
Speaker 1: with how I was, Like, I'm happy with my own

613
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 1: self like his loss. This might be like a feminine

614
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:19,600
Speaker 1: thing because I know we've come out of dates before.

615
00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:22,640
Speaker 1: Might be wrong, but it might be not gender irrespective,

616
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:24,520
Speaker 1: but we come out of dates and I'm like, she

617
00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:27,840
Speaker 1: was nice, but I'm like, didn't click. Yeah, but do

618
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:30,080
Speaker 1: girls come out of that situation and be like, oh,

619
00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:31,560
Speaker 1: what could I have done better? For him to say

620
00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:33,280
Speaker 1: that had a great time, Let's do it again sometime.

621
00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:36,720
Speaker 1: I don't know, Like we come out of this didn't work,

622
00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:38,600
Speaker 1: but it's not right for each other. It's a good question,

623
00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:41,600
Speaker 1: Like I'm confident in myself. Yeah no, Yeah, like I don't.

624
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:45,160
Speaker 1: I've gone on dates where yeah, I haven't messaged her

625
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:46,960
Speaker 1: and she hasn't messaged me, not once, So I think, like,

626
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:51,160
Speaker 1: but other girls thinking like what could have I done better? Weird? Yeah,

627
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:53,800
Speaker 1: I don't know. That's a good question. Yeah. So that's

628
00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:56,200
Speaker 1: what I'm thinking, is like if you are you fully ready?

629
00:30:56,880 --> 00:30:58,800
Speaker 1: Is what I'm trying to say, Like I feel like

630
00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:01,240
Speaker 1: you know you're ready when you on a date and

631
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:03,840
Speaker 1: it doesn't work out. They don't ask you in the

632
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:06,160
Speaker 1: second one, but instead of asking yourself, did I do

633
00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:07,800
Speaker 1: something wrong to turn him off? Like I thought it

634
00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:10,160
Speaker 1: was going so well? You just accept like, oh he

635
00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:13,120
Speaker 1: was kind of acting the whole time, and I was

636
00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:15,040
Speaker 1: I'm happy with who I am, so that he obviously

637
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:16,920
Speaker 1: just didn't like me. That's not gonna work out. I know.

638
00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:18,520
Speaker 1: I don't overthink it, but a lot of people don't

639
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:20,160
Speaker 1: think it through when they go on date sometimes like

640
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:22,600
Speaker 1: thirty five year old who wants to sleep with you?

641
00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:25,560
Speaker 1: Like different stage of the life. A this guy doesn't

642
00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:28,120
Speaker 1: mature or anything like that. No, I don't know why

643
00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:32,840
Speaker 1: he want him back. Yeah, Like is it a red

644
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:34,680
Speaker 1: fag would be twenty five and think like that goes

645
00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:37,320
Speaker 1: thirty five and single still but nothing wrong with being single.

646
00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:39,040
Speaker 1: He maybe he's divorcing, he's got some kids or whatever.

647
00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:40,400
Speaker 1: He's getting back out there. But like, I don't know,

648
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:42,560
Speaker 1: I think, like in my head, yeah, that's what we

649
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:44,880
Speaker 1: do it, like we do think that. I do think

650
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:47,160
Speaker 1: you've got to be in the similar stage of life.

651
00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:50,200
Speaker 1: That's why age does matter. It's because some people think

652
00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:52,239
Speaker 1: like I'm made em but I'm mature. I can get

653
00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:54,680
Speaker 1: with a fucking forty year old. Yeah, but like they

654
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:57,600
Speaker 1: don't know what matuit is. No. I didn't know what

655
00:31:57,640 --> 00:31:59,280
Speaker 1: maturity was at eighteen. I know I probably don't know

656
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:01,600
Speaker 1: what maturity is now. Yeah. I thought it was mature

657
00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:03,200
Speaker 1: and then you like you get to like I thought

658
00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:04,800
Speaker 1: I was mature at twenty and I get to twenty four,

659
00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:07,360
Speaker 1: Like I didn't even know the same person. Fuck no,

660
00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:09,600
Speaker 1: we know someone from school that as soon as they

661
00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:12,200
Speaker 1: turned eighteen started dating like a forty something year old. Yeah,

662
00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:14,880
Speaker 1: still with them, but yeah, so a kid, they've got

663
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:17,400
Speaker 1: a kid, they've got a kid, and everything. Isn't that crazy?

664
00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:20,960
Speaker 1: I don't like it. She's gonna be she's gonna be sixty,

665
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:23,400
Speaker 1: and he's gonna be like eighty five. Yeah, money, but

666
00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:27,160
Speaker 1: we know if he has money, like, is it? I

667
00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:30,160
Speaker 1: think so. I think that's one of the reasons. God, man,

668
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:33,800
Speaker 1: if my daughter was eighteen and started dating a fucking forty,

669
00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:36,360
Speaker 1: I know you can't like not let him do it,

670
00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:38,360
Speaker 1: but like fuck, I would be not letting it do it.

671
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:43,040
Speaker 1: Forty is fucked. I I don't even like illegal or

672
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:44,720
Speaker 1: not illegal. I don't know what like or like. You know,

673
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:46,280
Speaker 1: she has her own life, she's not. She can make

674
00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:48,440
Speaker 1: her own choices. I don't give a fuck. I think

675
00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:50,800
Speaker 1: the way you would bring your daughter up, she would

676
00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:53,520
Speaker 1: have the mindset not to date a forty year old.

677
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:59,600
Speaker 1: Yeah you being a dad? Yeah, eighteen and a single

678
00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:02,680
Speaker 1: forty five five year old? Yeah? Fox going on and

679
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:04,600
Speaker 1: he has kids of his own. Pretty h he has

680
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:10,760
Speaker 1: kids that are like a year younger than her. Wo Okay,

681
00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:14,640
Speaker 1: my next dilemma, Hi, Mummy, Daddy and uncle Jack. Should

682
00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:18,360
Speaker 1: we address wear Jack is? Guys, Jack didn't make it.

683
00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:21,000
Speaker 1: He called me this morning he said, I just can't.

684
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:22,560
Speaker 1: I'm busy at work, can't get work off. And then

685
00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:24,560
Speaker 1: I go, ah, well, if you want to come on

686
00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:26,719
Speaker 1: Friday we're pre recording for a while he's away, and

687
00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:28,520
Speaker 1: he's like, yeah, actually I could get that day off

688
00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:31,120
Speaker 1: and I going on and I told him and he

689
00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:33,000
Speaker 1: was like, why couldn't you just do the work out

690
00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:36,960
Speaker 1: to do today on Friday? Yeah? And Jack missed his

691
00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:38,440
Speaker 1: big chance today. Actually, we're going to do a full

692
00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:43,400
Speaker 1: segment with him alfter dilemmas, but now love the pod.

693
00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:46,240
Speaker 1: It gets me through the week, honestly. So here's my dilemma. Sorry,

694
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:48,000
Speaker 1: it's a long one. There's this guy who I've been

695
00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:51,280
Speaker 1: friends with for fourish years. We were introduced by mutual

696
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:54,480
Speaker 1: friends and clicked right away. We were always friends, but

697
00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:58,480
Speaker 1: at times it felt more like a relationship. However, this

698
00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:01,560
Speaker 1: guy would get a girlfriend. We wouldn't talk during that period,

699
00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:04,360
Speaker 1: which I respect because guys and girls can't be friends.

700
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:06,960
Speaker 1: I like this guy and I like this girl. She

701
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:09,120
Speaker 1: said she's been in it for four USh years. But anyway,

702
00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:12,120
Speaker 1: but when they would break up, I would be the

703
00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 1: first one he would message. This happened twice at the

704
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:17,719
Speaker 1: end of last year. We started talking and we both

705
00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:21,239
Speaker 1: wanted this to become something more, but he is so

706
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:24,239
Speaker 1: inconsistent and wouldn't make time for me. So I ended

707
00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:27,520
Speaker 1: it because I deserve more. But he always comes back

708
00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:30,040
Speaker 1: for the most part, and I have let him. My

709
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:32,799
Speaker 1: dilemma is does he actually have feelings or is it

710
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:35,400
Speaker 1: just a comfort thing. We have never done anything else

711
00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:38,080
Speaker 1: but kiss, so it's not like he just wants a

712
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:42,040
Speaker 1: fuck buddy or something. I'm just so confused what this means,

713
00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:44,439
Speaker 1: because when we are together it is good, but then

714
00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:46,960
Speaker 1: like he gets scared and pushes me away and it

715
00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:49,680
Speaker 1: messes with my head. At the moment, we are not

716
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:52,319
Speaker 1: in contact, but it's my birthday next week. I know

717
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:54,520
Speaker 1: he will message me and I don't know how to

718
00:34:54,560 --> 00:35:01,160
Speaker 1: handle it. Help. Damn, damn. I reckon. This is so

719
00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:05,680
Speaker 1: relatable way, I honestly I reckon. Multiple people listening to

720
00:35:05,719 --> 00:35:07,800
Speaker 1: this for like WHOA, I swear I didn't send a

721
00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:13,160
Speaker 1: dilemma in yeah, minus the relationship bit. I think I've

722
00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:16,759
Speaker 1: been this guy before, like talking to a girl and

723
00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:18,760
Speaker 1: then as soon as he gets close, I've pushed it away.

724
00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:21,480
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I think I've done that. Like I don't.

725
00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:23,239
Speaker 1: I don't relate to the bit where they've been like

726
00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:25,480
Speaker 1: in and out four years in and out of relationship.

727
00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:27,560
Speaker 1: I've been with a girl and then like sort of

728
00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:29,440
Speaker 1: get into that phase where we could take it next

729
00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:33,440
Speaker 1: levem like, oh no, I don't want to do that, Okay,

730
00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:35,759
Speaker 1: for what was her real question? Like what's he doing?

731
00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:40,640
Speaker 1: So he's in and out of relationships and then he

732
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:42,440
Speaker 1: she thinks he's getting that a little bit closer, then

733
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:46,480
Speaker 1: he pushes away and doesn't give him anything. It's so

734
00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:48,920
Speaker 1: like when you when you break it down into just

735
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:51,440
Speaker 1: like a paragraph like that, I always find I always

736
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:54,160
Speaker 1: think like, oh, this is so easy to answer, but

737
00:35:54,239 --> 00:35:56,600
Speaker 1: it's always like so hard for the person to hear

738
00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:58,200
Speaker 1: what we have to say, I reckon because they have

739
00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:01,080
Speaker 1: feelings involved. Yeah, but like I really, one thing you

740
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:04,600
Speaker 1: got to ask yourself, is this girl should ask yourself like, Okay,

741
00:36:05,719 --> 00:36:07,880
Speaker 1: let's just hypothetically speaking hypothetically.

742
00:36:09,120 --> 00:36:10,000
Speaker 2: Let's just say I.

743
00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:12,719
Speaker 1: Didn't have feelings for him, I didn't have the four

744
00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:15,880
Speaker 1: year you know, you're the history. I'm just saying, like,

745
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:17,840
Speaker 1: that's just saying this girl doesn't like yeah, and she

746
00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:21,120
Speaker 1: just asks herself like, Okay, if this was someone that

747
00:36:21,160 --> 00:36:24,040
Speaker 1: I hadn't had previous feelings for and hadn't didn't have

748
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:26,440
Speaker 1: for his history with and I was getting treated like this,

749
00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:30,880
Speaker 1: what I even consider being with him? Yeah? Probably not

750
00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:33,600
Speaker 1: at all? You know, like, why are you giving him

751
00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:35,560
Speaker 1: a chance just because you've had kind of feelings for

752
00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:38,000
Speaker 1: him for four years? Look, I get it. It's hard,

753
00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:41,120
Speaker 1: but you don't want to be treated like something like

754
00:36:41,239 --> 00:36:43,879
Speaker 1: you're just there when he kind of wants you. It's

755
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:46,160
Speaker 1: hard to let go, especially when you haven't had like

756
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:49,040
Speaker 1: you don't know what the highs of the relationship are

757
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:51,680
Speaker 1: like yet Yeah, I'm still sort of chasing them. Yeah.

758
00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:54,279
Speaker 1: So it's just like I still want it, but I can't.

759
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:56,480
Speaker 1: I don't get it. I only get like ten percent

760
00:36:56,520 --> 00:36:58,759
Speaker 1: of it. M So it's like it is hard to

761
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:00,960
Speaker 1: let go. But you're right, right, if you'd reassess it

762
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:02,520
Speaker 1: like that, like if it was just a random guy

763
00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:04,160
Speaker 1: and he started talking to you, and then just as

764
00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:05,799
Speaker 1: soon as you got close, he started being all dry,

765
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:08,840
Speaker 1: texting and inconsistent. Would you give him a second chance? No,

766
00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:11,839
Speaker 1: you wouldn't doubt it. You deserve and you deserve better.

767
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:14,080
Speaker 1: So it is it is simple. Yeah, when you break

768
00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:15,680
Speaker 1: it down like that, it's simple because like the reason

769
00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:16,479
Speaker 1: we can break it down.

770
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:18,720
Speaker 2: So easily is because we just hear what you're saying.

771
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:21,120
Speaker 1: What's let's break down what's Why is he doing that? Though?

772
00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:23,200
Speaker 1: So he's in and out of relationships, and as soon

773
00:37:23,239 --> 00:37:26,600
Speaker 1: as they break up, he's like, oh hey, Ashley, Like

774
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:29,040
Speaker 1: he's doing it because she lets him. Forgot you were there.

775
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:32,680
Speaker 1: It is a comfort thing. Hey, he does it because

776
00:37:32,719 --> 00:37:36,040
Speaker 1: she lets him do it. M Yeah, stabling it. Yeah,

777
00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:38,400
Speaker 1: it's about putting yourself first a little bit. Yeah, she

778
00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:40,719
Speaker 1: is enabling enabling it, which is hard to hear. It

779
00:37:40,760 --> 00:37:42,880
Speaker 1: is hard to said she Probably she's realizing that, like

780
00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:44,319
Speaker 1: it's a birthday. She doesn't know how to respond when

781
00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:46,640
Speaker 1: he's going to send her a happy birthday massage. I

782
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:50,279
Speaker 1: reckon even don't respond, try try not responding, even just

783
00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:53,160
Speaker 1: try cutting him out, blunt no response like it it's

784
00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:56,360
Speaker 1: thanks true? Yeah, thanks, no, not thanks? How what he

785
00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:58,480
Speaker 1: been up to? Yeah? Don't let a conversation go yeah,

786
00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:00,560
Speaker 1: let it just leave it at what it is, or

787
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:03,840
Speaker 1: even look, if you wanted to, I wouldn't. I wouldn't

788
00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:06,719
Speaker 1: think that you're a simple or whatever the fucking new

789
00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:09,080
Speaker 1: term for it is these days. I wouldn't. I wouldn't.

790
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:11,319
Speaker 1: Did you figure out what your brother that word was?

791
00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:15,480
Speaker 1: I haven't seen him. Was the gibby somebody like these kids?

792
00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:17,680
Speaker 1: Jake was getting old day. It was at the computer

793
00:38:17,719 --> 00:38:19,239
Speaker 1: and he's like, what is skimmity means? He's like, I'm

794
00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:21,680
Speaker 1: gonna ask my little brother. Am I text him? What

795
00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:25,200
Speaker 1: is skimmity mean? I don't think it means anything? Okay,

796
00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:29,399
Speaker 1: but maybe you could. You could just confront him. Yeah,

797
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:31,480
Speaker 1: Like I feel like there's like everyone like you're What

798
00:38:31,520 --> 00:38:33,040
Speaker 1: I'm about to say is probably the scariest thing ever

799
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:36,200
Speaker 1: to do. Okay, confront him, tell him you want to

800
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:38,560
Speaker 1: meet up? All right? He comes and picked you up.

801
00:38:38,719 --> 00:38:40,520
Speaker 1: I don't know. You go get some fucking coffee. I

802
00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:42,920
Speaker 1: don't know. But you say to him, like, look, been

803
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:45,960
Speaker 1: four years you've been in relationships. You've not spoken to

804
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:48,120
Speaker 1: me while you're in the relationships. I get it, respect that,

805
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:50,600
Speaker 1: but when you leave the relationships, you talk to me

806
00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:53,920
Speaker 1: after your last one. You said you want to have

807
00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:56,200
Speaker 1: a crack of this. I was keen, and then once

808
00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:59,200
Speaker 1: we started to get close, you pulled away. It's like,

809
00:39:00,239 --> 00:39:01,920
Speaker 1: basically you could say to him, you could even say

810
00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:05,560
Speaker 1: to him like, if you weren't someone that had I

811
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:08,080
Speaker 1: had a four year history with and had feelings for

812
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:11,200
Speaker 1: for four years, I would literally not even think about

813
00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:14,400
Speaker 1: giving you a second chance. Okay, this is how it

814
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:15,560
Speaker 1: makes me feel like I feel like shit, Like I

815
00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:17,160
Speaker 1: feel like you don't want me, but you tell me

816
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:20,239
Speaker 1: you want me. Ask him, just confront him, Just ask him.

817
00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:21,880
Speaker 1: And if he's gonna be like, uh, I don't know,

818
00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:23,720
Speaker 1: I don't know, then he's not fucking old enough immature

819
00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:26,239
Speaker 1: enough to have you put him in his place. Yes,

820
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:28,680
Speaker 1: they stop leading me on. Yeah, makes me feel like shit,

821
00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:30,080
Speaker 1: Like do you want me to feel like shit? Because

822
00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:31,920
Speaker 1: that's what you're doing. Don't let him and like also,

823
00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:34,000
Speaker 1: don't be like, don't let him just like say oh

824
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:36,319
Speaker 1: you're trapping me, or like anything he says where he's

825
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:39,200
Speaker 1: gonna try and make it like you're acting crazy. Yeah,

826
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:42,359
Speaker 1: you're just doing this for yourself for closure. Don't they

827
00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:45,279
Speaker 1: do for one second, don't let him do that, and

828
00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:46,719
Speaker 1: I bet you he'll do it. I bet you he

829
00:39:46,719 --> 00:39:49,600
Speaker 1: will too, because it's in his head. He's never it's

830
00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:51,600
Speaker 1: never gonna happenm between you two. Yeah, I bet he's

831
00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:53,480
Speaker 1: gonna be like, what are you talking about? Like like

832
00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:56,360
Speaker 1: it just didn't work out, or like you're you're being crazy,

833
00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:58,040
Speaker 1: Like don't let him do that, please. Just loves the

834
00:39:58,080 --> 00:39:59,960
Speaker 1: attention enough to like a little heartbreak with the girl

835
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:03,600
Speaker 1: he actually tries to get with. Do not enabled him? Yeah, exactly,

836
00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:13,120
Speaker 1: all right the lemmas O. All right, Jake, have you

837
00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:17,000
Speaker 1: ever been scrolling on Instagram and one of your mates

838
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:21,560
Speaker 1: posts a girl? Yeah, and you think, wow, that was weird.

839
00:40:21,640 --> 00:40:25,160
Speaker 1: He doesn't normally post things like that. No, I bet

840
00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:29,839
Speaker 1: you haven't because that's not what your brain thinks. That's

841
00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:32,520
Speaker 1: a good point. Like, I my initial thing is always

842
00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:34,440
Speaker 1: like if one of our mates post someone and I

843
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:36,839
Speaker 1: don't know they're talking to a girl, and I'll see

844
00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:39,160
Speaker 1: it and they'll be like, oh, like whoa, when did

845
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:41,399
Speaker 1: this happen? Yeah, I'm like interested, it's not like wow,

846
00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:44,520
Speaker 1: this isn't this is different from the contentity. Good for him? Yeah,

847
00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:47,600
Speaker 1: that's what we do. Good for him? So yeah, not like, oh,

848
00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:52,160
Speaker 1: what a fucking set. Yeah, set, But this is excuses

849
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:55,160
Speaker 1: for him not posting you. Yeah, these these this is

850
00:40:55,200 --> 00:41:00,720
Speaker 1: like reasons guys give for not posting Yeah. Go first, sure,

851
00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:05,520
Speaker 1: I just want to keep our relationship private. I said,

852
00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:13,080
Speaker 1: I live a private life. It's such a such a

853
00:41:13,160 --> 00:41:18,640
Speaker 1: cop out. Reasons he gives for not posting you. The

854
00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:20,719
Speaker 1: people that are important to me know about you. Isn't

855
00:41:20,719 --> 00:41:26,279
Speaker 1: that enough? That's like an extension on the private one.

856
00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:30,680
Speaker 1: Like my friend, like Jake knows about you. That's all

857
00:41:30,719 --> 00:41:32,680
Speaker 1: that matters. Is the only people that I even see

858
00:41:32,719 --> 00:41:36,960
Speaker 1: know about you. Like, isn't that good? I've told my mom. Fuck, Okay,

859
00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:43,440
Speaker 1: excuses for not posting you. I don't post on Instagram.

860
00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:47,000
Speaker 1: That's the only one that I think could be semi valid.

861
00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:49,920
Speaker 1: But then also the argument is like, okay, if you

862
00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:51,880
Speaker 1: don't care about what you're posting, you don't post just

863
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:56,280
Speaker 1: posting yeast I just posted one hand or something. Yeah,

864
00:41:56,680 --> 00:41:59,920
Speaker 1: reasons he gives for not posting you. I just don't

865
00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:04,960
Speaker 1: in our relationship to look fake. That one hurt, Like

866
00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:08,680
Speaker 1: is it fake? Fake? Social media is just so fake,

867
00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:10,399
Speaker 1: Like I just want to date you in real life.

868
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:12,399
Speaker 1: We're putting on a persona on social media. I don't

869
00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:17,280
Speaker 1: want a relationship with you through social media in real life, dudes,

870
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:21,879
Speaker 1: is so tragy. Reasons for not posting you. I'm having

871
00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:26,560
Speaker 1: a social media detox. That's the worst one. I reckon,

872
00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:28,880
Speaker 1: that's the worst one, because that detox better be for

873
00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:33,640
Speaker 1: the rest of your fucking life. Story that afternoon running

874
00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:37,960
Speaker 1: of the boys. Reasons he gives for not posting you.

875
00:42:39,239 --> 00:42:41,960
Speaker 1: The couples that post each other, they never last anyway.

876
00:42:42,160 --> 00:42:48,360
Speaker 1: Oh that's gas lighting. Yeah, that's gas lighting. Fuck it.

877
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:50,480
Speaker 1: If I heard that, I'd be like, all right, we're

878
00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:54,839
Speaker 1: broken up there. Yeah, the world doesn't need to see

879
00:42:54,880 --> 00:42:57,359
Speaker 1: our love. We know it, so that's all that matters. Fuck,

880
00:42:57,400 --> 00:43:01,480
Speaker 1: that's also gaslight. That's also gaslighting. This fucking these actually

881
00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:04,359
Speaker 1: these aren't. These are all gas lighting things. Yeah, pretty much.

882
00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:06,640
Speaker 1: These are all making her be like, oh yeah, maybe

883
00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:12,040
Speaker 1: like if we do that it is faith. Yeah. Reasons

884
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:14,880
Speaker 1: he gifts for not posting you. You're just too pretty.

885
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:16,759
Speaker 1: I wouldn't want somebody to try and take you from me.

886
00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:22,000
Speaker 1: Oh nah, that's still bad. But it's kind of cute

887
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:24,120
Speaker 1: at the start. It's like cute, but also it's like,

888
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:28,640
Speaker 1: that's the trust issue. Ones coming. Yeah, yeah, reasons for

889
00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:31,080
Speaker 1: not posting you. The boys will give me shit if

890
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:35,280
Speaker 1: I do that. Surely no one's scared about that. I reckon.

891
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:37,640
Speaker 1: They're French that call like you're a samp, Like I

892
00:43:37,640 --> 00:43:40,040
Speaker 1: don't believe you did that. You assume. See. But that's

893
00:43:40,040 --> 00:43:42,360
Speaker 1: the thing is, like we were just saying before, like

894
00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:42,919
Speaker 1: we don't.

895
00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:47,040
Speaker 2: Guys don't really do that, not anymore, No, young people.

896
00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:48,960
Speaker 1: Maybe when we were younger and eighteen and imature a

897
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:51,280
Speaker 1: little bit, but like, it's not like every single post

898
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:53,160
Speaker 1: is going to be It's not like I'm posting a

899
00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:55,319
Speaker 1: carousel of ten photos of Yeah. Here's the thing I

900
00:43:55,320 --> 00:44:00,640
Speaker 1: would understand. Okay, if you are someone if you're a

901
00:44:00,719 --> 00:44:03,560
Speaker 1: girlfriend that posts a lot of your life on Instagram

902
00:44:03,680 --> 00:44:06,160
Speaker 1: and you post your boyfriend because that's part of your life.

903
00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:08,759
Speaker 1: And if you're a boyfriend that posts a lot of

904
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:13,759
Speaker 1: your life on Instagram but doesn't post your girlfriend like

905
00:44:13,840 --> 00:44:16,719
Speaker 1: at all, it's almost like you're making an effort to

906
00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:20,080
Speaker 1: not post her because you post your life, Like, just

907
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:23,239
Speaker 1: be proud of the fact that you have a girlfriend. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

908
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:25,360
Speaker 1: you know, if you make the commitment to ask a

909
00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:28,000
Speaker 1: girl out, I think that should mean you're proud to

910
00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:31,080
Speaker 1: call her your girlfriend, yeah, and you're praid to I

911
00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:32,799
Speaker 1: don't know. Me and Jake both have the mindset that like,

912
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:34,719
Speaker 1: if you ask someone to be your girlfriend, like she

913
00:44:34,840 --> 00:44:36,480
Speaker 1: becomes your queen and she'll be like put on like

914
00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:40,239
Speaker 1: a bit of a pedestal. Yeah, and like I don't

915
00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:42,640
Speaker 1: it's like barely post Beth though. Yeah, it's not like

916
00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:44,279
Speaker 1: it's not like you ask like, oh, can I go

917
00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:46,000
Speaker 1: on your story? It's more like when it happens, like

918
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:47,560
Speaker 1: I don't know, you're doing something on a cool day

919
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:49,080
Speaker 1: and there's just a sick picture there, and then you

920
00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:50,719
Speaker 1: just post it like it feels right. You don't just

921
00:44:50,719 --> 00:44:54,040
Speaker 1: fucking ask her. At the at the start of Mine

922
00:44:54,080 --> 00:44:57,680
Speaker 1: and best relationship, I was like, oh, yeah, I just don't.

923
00:44:57,880 --> 00:44:59,360
Speaker 1: I don't want to post you right now. And you

924
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:01,680
Speaker 1: know what she even said to me at the start

925
00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:06,040
Speaker 1: was like, don't post because because we were in like

926
00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:09,080
Speaker 1: this growth phase of like the podcast and like our

927
00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:12,600
Speaker 1: personal socials were getting some followers. She said. She was like, oh,

928
00:45:12,719 --> 00:45:14,560
Speaker 1: right now, if you think about it, like the people

929
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:17,799
Speaker 1: that follow you on your personal accounts, not all of them,

930
00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:19,360
Speaker 1: but some of them probably do follow you because they

931
00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:22,360
Speaker 1: think they have a chance. Oh yeah, and she was

932
00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:25,279
Speaker 1: like she was she like didn't care about not me

933
00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:28,279
Speaker 1: not posting her and stuff like that. And then I think, like,

934
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:32,360
Speaker 1: also one thing that I fucking really enjoyed, like really

935
00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:36,160
Speaker 1: really enjoyed, I took like baby baby steps because I

936
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:38,880
Speaker 1: started posting photos just of me, you know, like the

937
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:42,680
Speaker 1: orders of me narcissistic self. But I would write photos

938
00:45:42,719 --> 00:45:45,720
Speaker 1: taken by Pickle and everyone was like, who the fuck

939
00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:48,160
Speaker 1: is Pickle? Who's Pickle? And my comments were just like

940
00:45:48,200 --> 00:45:50,400
Speaker 1: who's Pickle? Who's Pickle? Was there like ten times? And

941
00:45:50,440 --> 00:45:55,200
Speaker 1: then someone fucking someone commented is Pickle at Bethany Cummens.

942
00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:57,200
Speaker 1: They figured it out, and I was like, fuck figured

943
00:45:57,239 --> 00:45:58,640
Speaker 1: it out. But the reason they figured it out is

944
00:45:58,640 --> 00:46:02,240
Speaker 1: because I went through that phase. Everyone except some people

945
00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:03,880
Speaker 1: go through her following it. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I

946
00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:08,000
Speaker 1: need to make actually private, that's what you're down for.

947
00:46:08,360 --> 00:46:11,799
Speaker 1: Then I might I might unfollow family because like for

948
00:46:11,840 --> 00:46:13,640
Speaker 1: the reason of them not so then they can't find

949
00:46:13,680 --> 00:46:16,399
Speaker 1: my family getting hacked or something, because like I bet

950
00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:19,480
Speaker 1: you my mom's addresses on the line. She definitely posted

951
00:46:19,480 --> 00:46:21,680
Speaker 1: her some of must send you some free to sucks

952
00:46:21,760 --> 00:46:24,440
Speaker 1: or something. Yeah, true, you never know. But that's it's funny,

953
00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:26,880
Speaker 1: like if any of these guys giving you these excuses,

954
00:46:27,080 --> 00:46:30,600
Speaker 1: like it is this daunting thing at the start, I

955
00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:35,080
Speaker 1: think it is. Yeah, but like eventually, like a month

956
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:37,520
Speaker 1: or a couple months in like he should be doing it. Yeah,

957
00:46:37,520 --> 00:46:39,359
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think on once you know that, like, yeah,

958
00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:41,399
Speaker 1: we're not going to fucking break up anytime soon. Yeah,

959
00:46:41,440 --> 00:46:43,200
Speaker 1: and like if you break up, just still lead them

960
00:46:43,280 --> 00:46:45,479
Speaker 1: yeah yeah, yeah, yeah exactly, and just start start baby

961
00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:48,040
Speaker 1: steps like James said, start a little story. Yeah, the

962
00:46:48,120 --> 00:46:50,280
Speaker 1: back of her walking. And it's another thing that sucks,

963
00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:51,839
Speaker 1: like it's something we have to deal with now because

964
00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:53,560
Speaker 1: of social media. We never no one ever used to

965
00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:55,239
Speaker 1: have to deal with that obviously, Like you would just

966
00:46:55,280 --> 00:46:57,239
Speaker 1: have a girlfriend and there was no where to post it,

967
00:46:57,320 --> 00:46:59,160
Speaker 1: so you would just introduce her to people when you

968
00:46:59,160 --> 00:47:00,960
Speaker 1: saw them. Ah.

969
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:03,319
Speaker 2: But now it's like it is a thing. It's has

970
00:47:03,360 --> 00:47:04,359
Speaker 2: become a big thing.

971
00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:07,040
Speaker 1: I think if you're confident enough to post me it

972
00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:10,040
Speaker 1: sort of like shows you're a bit proud in your relationship. Yeah,

973
00:47:10,080 --> 00:47:12,640
Speaker 1: because he's the thing is if if social media existed

974
00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:14,960
Speaker 1: back in the day, I would have been posting that

975
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:17,560
Speaker 1: shit everywhere. Yeah, and I don't mean like especially if

976
00:47:17,600 --> 00:47:20,000
Speaker 1: you have like if you just use social media not

977
00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:23,359
Speaker 1: as a business, like purely for the fact of your

978
00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:25,879
Speaker 1: friends to show them your life, I don't think you

979
00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:28,680
Speaker 1: should have any problems. Nah, Like if you're one of

980
00:47:28,719 --> 00:47:31,840
Speaker 1: those influencer girl who's are asked and it's like a business.

981
00:47:31,840 --> 00:47:34,400
Speaker 1: Slightly different because I know, I know a lot of

982
00:47:34,440 --> 00:47:37,480
Speaker 1: girls on who are influenced would probably have a lot

983
00:47:37,520 --> 00:47:39,520
Speaker 1: of guys in the fucking following because they think they

984
00:47:39,560 --> 00:47:41,200
Speaker 1: have a chance and if they posted a boy, they

985
00:47:41,280 --> 00:47:43,719
Speaker 1: get unfollowed, one follow, one follow. That does happen a lot. Yeah,

986
00:47:43,719 --> 00:47:45,000
Speaker 1: I reckon that would happen a lot. So it's a

987
00:47:45,080 --> 00:47:48,239
Speaker 1: slightly that's a different scenario. That's very confusing and hard

988
00:47:48,239 --> 00:47:50,399
Speaker 1: to feel different. Yeah yeah, but if you just use

989
00:47:50,600 --> 00:47:54,000
Speaker 1: if you use Instagram like socially, no excuses. Yeah, Like

990
00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:57,720
Speaker 1: here's okay. The final reason that really is the only

991
00:47:57,800 --> 00:48:00,400
Speaker 1: main reason. All those other ones are excuses. Those are

992
00:48:00,440 --> 00:48:04,200
Speaker 1: not reasons, their excuses. The main reason that every single

993
00:48:04,239 --> 00:48:07,240
Speaker 1: guy will tiptoe around and never admit for not posting

994
00:48:07,239 --> 00:48:09,919
Speaker 1: their girlfriend is because they just don't want to look

995
00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:12,720
Speaker 1: like they have a relationship. They want to look single.

996
00:48:13,200 --> 00:48:15,879
Speaker 1: For some reason. I don't know why, but for some

997
00:48:15,960 --> 00:48:20,160
Speaker 1: reason that's the case. And it's just it's just it's

998
00:48:20,200 --> 00:48:21,600
Speaker 1: just is what it is. But no one would ever

999
00:48:21,640 --> 00:48:24,440
Speaker 1: come out and admit that, like they're not it's it's

1000
00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:26,399
Speaker 1: it's weird, but it's just the way it is. So

1001
00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:28,440
Speaker 1: if that, if your boyfriend's giving you these reasons like

1002
00:48:28,520 --> 00:48:30,280
Speaker 1: funk off, you just want to look single on there anything,

1003
00:48:30,360 --> 00:48:32,000
Speaker 1: but no, no, no, the reason don't know it. You can

1004
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:33,360
Speaker 1: be like, yes, it is like whatever, just tell me

1005
00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:39,279
Speaker 1: the truth, tell me the truth. Just love me, just

1006
00:48:39,320 --> 00:48:40,759
Speaker 1: love me. So like, if you tell me the truth,

1007
00:48:40,800 --> 00:48:51,680
Speaker 1: I won't care, but just tell me why, all right, Jake,

1008
00:48:52,200 --> 00:48:54,080
Speaker 1: maybe last week, a couple of weeks ago, you came

1009
00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:58,439
Speaker 1: to the main episodes with a good deep question which

1010
00:48:58,480 --> 00:49:01,319
Speaker 1: was posed a very good conversation after that. What was

1011
00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:03,920
Speaker 1: it again? It was if you lost the ability to

1012
00:49:04,080 --> 00:49:05,759
Speaker 1: he lost the ability to speak, or if they lost

1013
00:49:05,760 --> 00:49:07,839
Speaker 1: the ability to speak, would you still feel loved by

1014
00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:10,759
Speaker 1: their actions? Yes, so this is sort of similar but

1015
00:49:10,800 --> 00:49:12,279
Speaker 1: a little bit different, and it sort of makes you

1016
00:49:12,320 --> 00:49:14,600
Speaker 1: think in that same way. Okay, So the question is,

1017
00:49:15,160 --> 00:49:18,239
Speaker 1: if you lost the ability to bond through physical intimacy,

1018
00:49:18,719 --> 00:49:25,239
Speaker 1: would you do anything different to connect emotionally. WHA good question? Yeah,

1019
00:49:25,360 --> 00:49:28,479
Speaker 1: would you do it? In Layman's terms, no more sex? Yeah,

1020
00:49:28,520 --> 00:49:31,520
Speaker 1: if you couldn't have sex anymore, what would you do

1021
00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:36,520
Speaker 1: to bond? I'm a big cuddler. Yeah, watching a movie

1022
00:49:36,560 --> 00:49:39,800
Speaker 1: and cuddling love that. You know what else? I fucking

1023
00:49:39,840 --> 00:49:42,400
Speaker 1: love it more if you didn't. I feel like I

1024
00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:44,560
Speaker 1: do it a lot now. Actually, see, yeah, that's what

1025
00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:46,520
Speaker 1: I was thinking. I was like, what would I do differently?

1026
00:49:46,520 --> 00:49:50,359
Speaker 1: Because obviously there's no better connection than having intimate sex

1027
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:52,759
Speaker 1: with your loved one. That's yeah, that's the most the

1028
00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:53,920
Speaker 1: most intense form of connection.

1029
00:49:53,960 --> 00:49:57,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I reckon I would and I

1030
00:49:57,880 --> 00:49:59,280
Speaker 3: would say I love you more.

1031
00:49:59,360 --> 00:50:00,799
Speaker 1: That's what I asked the again I was I was

1032
00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:02,879
Speaker 1: even thinking the most simple, simple action of I would

1033
00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:06,520
Speaker 1: want to hold her hand more. Yo, just I feel

1034
00:50:06,560 --> 00:50:09,040
Speaker 1: like that's very intimate. For some reason, I think I

1035
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:10,759
Speaker 1: am the same. I think I would be a lot

1036
00:50:10,840 --> 00:50:15,360
Speaker 1: more huggy, more cuddly, not more holding her hands in public.

1037
00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:19,000
Speaker 1: I would probably I would probably just like kiss her

1038
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:23,759
Speaker 1: more at random times. Yeah, not that I don't. I'm

1039
00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:25,200
Speaker 1: one of those boyfriends though, that's like, he give me

1040
00:50:25,200 --> 00:50:26,319
Speaker 1: a kiss and she's like, if you do someth weird,

1041
00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:31,640
Speaker 1: I'm gonna fuck her or something. But I also, yeah,

1042
00:50:31,719 --> 00:50:33,360
Speaker 1: like I think I did. I feel like best of

1043
00:50:33,360 --> 00:50:36,480
Speaker 1: myself do a lot of bonding outside of sex. We

1044
00:50:36,560 --> 00:50:39,080
Speaker 1: do like to just like hang out, which everyone does though,

1045
00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:41,719
Speaker 1: but like quality times. Yeah, I don't know. I think

1046
00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:45,279
Speaker 1: maybe more deep chats. I feel you'd feel like you're

1047
00:50:45,280 --> 00:50:47,520
Speaker 1: missing something, so you'd have you'd have a new way

1048
00:50:47,560 --> 00:50:50,600
Speaker 1: of like trying to really understand. I think I would.

1049
00:50:51,360 --> 00:50:56,279
Speaker 1: Maybe I might try more my deep chats. Yeah, that's

1050
00:50:56,280 --> 00:50:58,319
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I actually see my deep chats because

1051
00:50:58,360 --> 00:51:00,440
Speaker 1: sometimes as a guy, this is probably one of my

1052
00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:02,759
Speaker 1: downfalls in relations Sometimes like you're having a deep chat

1053
00:51:02,800 --> 00:51:04,440
Speaker 1: and like in the back of my head, I'm just

1054
00:51:04,480 --> 00:51:07,560
Speaker 1: like I'm tired, Like I don't want to do it, yeah,

1055
00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:09,600
Speaker 1: which is probably not want to save managy for sex

1056
00:51:09,680 --> 00:51:13,960
Speaker 1: the best, but not all the time. Sometimes I love

1057
00:51:13,960 --> 00:51:15,600
Speaker 1: having a deep chat, but sometimes I'm just like I'm

1058
00:51:15,600 --> 00:51:17,799
Speaker 1: not in the mood right now. Yeah, I'm the type

1059
00:51:17,840 --> 00:51:20,960
Speaker 1: to avoid deep chats when it's about myself, Like I

1060
00:51:21,040 --> 00:51:23,080
Speaker 1: like having a deep chat about a topic or you

1061
00:51:23,120 --> 00:51:25,880
Speaker 1: mean a relationship together or yeah, the future or something like,

1062
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:27,719
Speaker 1: I do love them, but it's got to be the

1063
00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:30,120
Speaker 1: right timing for me. But I think if I don't know,

1064
00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:33,400
Speaker 1: the physical intimacy was off with cards, I think I

1065
00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:36,600
Speaker 1: would enjoy those deep chats. You cherish them, Yeah, because

1066
00:51:36,600 --> 00:51:39,600
Speaker 1: there's such a deep intellectual connection and that's like connecting

1067
00:51:39,600 --> 00:51:45,480
Speaker 1: in a way that's like intellectual sex. Yeah. That's a

1068
00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:48,719
Speaker 1: good question though, Man, that's a really good question. It's

1069
00:51:49,280 --> 00:51:52,160
Speaker 1: anyone listening, fuck, good question. Ask yourself, like, because then

1070
00:51:52,200 --> 00:51:55,200
Speaker 1: you can just take it and could we could just

1071
00:51:55,239 --> 00:51:57,840
Speaker 1: act like you know, don't take sex out of your relationship.

1072
00:51:57,880 --> 00:51:59,480
Speaker 1: But just if you think to yourself, what would I

1073
00:51:59,520 --> 00:52:02,279
Speaker 1: do if if there was no physical bonding, how would

1074
00:52:02,280 --> 00:52:05,719
Speaker 1: I want to bond with my partner? Like without that?

1075
00:52:06,440 --> 00:52:08,560
Speaker 1: Whatever you think of, just try and start implementing it.

1076
00:52:08,600 --> 00:52:11,279
Speaker 1: I wonder if it would just make it like better better. Yeah, Yeah,

1077
00:52:11,360 --> 00:52:14,200
Speaker 1: these questions are really good to like reassess your relationship

1078
00:52:14,239 --> 00:52:16,360
Speaker 1: and think what are they doing and what can you

1079
00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:18,800
Speaker 1: do better? Yeah? And it makes you, like, I know,

1080
00:52:19,040 --> 00:52:24,239
Speaker 1: self reflect really well. Yeah, do you find so with

1081
00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:28,840
Speaker 1: your brother, with your mom, with your dad, siblings, whatever?

1082
00:52:29,520 --> 00:52:32,640
Speaker 1: Like I don't have to say I love you, I don't.

1083
00:52:32,840 --> 00:52:34,600
Speaker 1: I don't have to act a certain way to make

1084
00:52:34,640 --> 00:52:37,160
Speaker 1: them feel loved by me. I don't need them to

1085
00:52:37,160 --> 00:52:39,279
Speaker 1: act a certain way. I just know that they love me.

1086
00:52:39,320 --> 00:52:43,800
Speaker 1: Like I know that Joanna would do anything at the

1087
00:52:43,360 --> 00:52:45,840
Speaker 1: drop of a hat, like if I needed it. Yeah,

1088
00:52:45,880 --> 00:52:48,719
Speaker 1: and I know like my parents blah blah blah. Now

1089
00:52:48,760 --> 00:52:52,399
Speaker 1: I know that my girlfriend would. But do you feel

1090
00:52:52,440 --> 00:52:56,000
Speaker 1: like and like she knows that I would, But do

1091
00:52:56,040 --> 00:52:58,040
Speaker 1: you think that you still need to act a certain way?

1092
00:52:58,360 --> 00:53:03,400
Speaker 1: Like sometimes if Beth and I are both I don't know,

1093
00:53:03,440 --> 00:53:06,760
Speaker 1: maybe like in moods where we're just like stand offish

1094
00:53:06,760 --> 00:53:08,480
Speaker 1: and just like we're both just like tie blah blah

1095
00:53:08,520 --> 00:53:10,560
Speaker 1: blah blah, kind of both admit like fuck, we feel

1096
00:53:10,560 --> 00:53:13,839
Speaker 1: a bit distant, like how do we and like if

1097
00:53:13,840 --> 00:53:16,360
Speaker 1: that was all the time, although we both know that

1098
00:53:16,400 --> 00:53:18,400
Speaker 1: we're doing things for each other, do you think it

1099
00:53:18,440 --> 00:53:20,680
Speaker 1: would like kind of tarnish it, you know what I mean?

1100
00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:23,759
Speaker 1: Even though you're you know your girlfriend loves like there's

1101
00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:26,080
Speaker 1: unconditional love there, but do you still need to do

1102
00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:26,960
Speaker 1: these things to show it?

1103
00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:27,359
Speaker 2: Yes?

1104
00:53:27,719 --> 00:53:33,160
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, Kim, I think in a relationship with like

1105
00:53:33,239 --> 00:53:37,680
Speaker 1: an intimate relationship, yes, yeah, because family unconditional love is

1106
00:53:37,719 --> 00:53:41,520
Speaker 1: different to relationship love. Yeah, No, definitely, and I think

1107
00:53:41,560 --> 00:53:45,520
Speaker 1: you do need that different people doing different amounts, Like you,

1108
00:53:45,760 --> 00:53:49,520
Speaker 1: it's called like positive assurance. Like sometimes some people can

1109
00:53:49,560 --> 00:53:52,200
Speaker 1: go for probably I don't know, days lash weeks without

1110
00:53:52,239 --> 00:53:55,560
Speaker 1: fucking having intimate connection or even like I don't know, kissing. Yeah,

1111
00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:57,960
Speaker 1: some people need the Some people need that I love

1112
00:53:57,960 --> 00:54:00,480
Speaker 1: you before I go to work. Yeah I'm a bit

1113
00:54:00,880 --> 00:54:02,440
Speaker 1: I love you before I go to bed. Yeah I

1114
00:54:02,600 --> 00:54:04,680
Speaker 1: have to. Yeah, it is, and some people don't like

1115
00:54:04,719 --> 00:54:06,720
Speaker 1: it just comes down to personal preference. But I definitely

1116
00:54:06,760 --> 00:54:09,319
Speaker 1: think you need that, like positive insurance and that type

1117
00:54:09,360 --> 00:54:11,719
Speaker 1: that different type of connection and intimate relationship compared to

1118
00:54:11,760 --> 00:54:15,319
Speaker 1: family just because you can't beat family love. Like, there's

1119
00:54:15,320 --> 00:54:18,160
Speaker 1: no comparison to it. Really, it's not really comparable to

1120
00:54:18,280 --> 00:54:20,719
Speaker 1: intimate love. Yeah, I think you're comparing like tomatoes to

1121
00:54:20,760 --> 00:54:22,640
Speaker 1: like orangers. Yeah, that's a good point. They're not in

1122
00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:26,120
Speaker 1: the same realm. It's no type. Like for instance, if

1123
00:54:26,120 --> 00:54:27,799
Speaker 1: you wanted to break up with a girlfriend or a

1124
00:54:27,840 --> 00:54:29,839
Speaker 1: boyfriend and you say I want to break up, they

1125
00:54:29,920 --> 00:54:31,640
Speaker 1: kind of have to accept that and respect your decision.

1126
00:54:31,840 --> 00:54:34,319
Speaker 2: They can't be like nah, whereas if you want it

1127
00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:35,680
Speaker 2: to your dad and you're like, Dad, I'm breaking up

1128
00:54:35,680 --> 00:54:35,840
Speaker 2: with you.

1129
00:54:35,880 --> 00:54:38,320
Speaker 1: He'll be like, shut the fuck up. Yeah, you're connected

1130
00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:40,359
Speaker 1: through blood, which is like a connection like nothing else

1131
00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:42,920
Speaker 1: whereas like it's sort of like if you had a

1132
00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:45,400
Speaker 1: kid with you said partner. Yeah, so that's then it

1133
00:54:45,520 --> 00:54:47,759
Speaker 1: becomes family and it's then it becomes that tomato.

1134
00:54:47,600 --> 00:54:49,560
Speaker 2: Thru Yeah, but like people still get divorced.

1135
00:54:49,640 --> 00:54:53,360
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, but you love your kid unconditionally. Yeah. Weird,

1136
00:54:53,840 --> 00:54:56,239
Speaker 1: very very very weird. But I know these questions are good.

1137
00:54:56,239 --> 00:55:05,560
Speaker 1: I like, bring him up on the pod. Same. All right, everybody,

1138
00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:07,960
Speaker 1: thank you for listening. Once again. You know what time

1139
00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:11,160
Speaker 1: it is. I believe that I just want to keep

1140
00:55:11,160 --> 00:55:15,759
Speaker 1: our relationship cry having a social media day talks the

1141
00:55:15,760 --> 00:55:19,359
Speaker 1: people that are important to me. Is that enough? My

1142
00:55:19,400 --> 00:55:23,000
Speaker 1: friends will give me? Did your boyfriend will girlfriend say

1143
00:55:23,040 --> 00:55:25,439
Speaker 1: this to you that he does? We know the real

1144
00:55:25,480 --> 00:55:27,279
Speaker 1: reason I don't want to post on social media. What

1145
00:55:27,440 --> 00:55:30,719
Speaker 1: is it, Jake? He want everyone to think you're or

1146
00:55:30,840 --> 00:55:31,680
Speaker 1: yeah single?

1147
00:55:31,719 --> 00:55:35,080
Speaker 4: I want to put him in your mouth. Pollimal down south.

1148
00:55:35,239 --> 00:55:38,720
Speaker 4: You want to turn the ship. That's what I'm talking about.

1149
00:55:39,600 --> 00:55:43,000
Speaker 4: Put him in your mouth. Polliminal down south. You want

1150
00:55:43,120 --> 00:55:44,000
Speaker 4: to turn this ship.

1151
00:55:44,520 --> 00:55:52,880
Speaker 5: That's what I'm talking about. Diet makes it sens to

1152
00:55:52,920 --> 00:55:57,640
Speaker 5: the day. I think he said, let's decide.

1153
00:56:00,120 --> 00:56:00,680
Speaker 1: That flounce.

1154
00:56:00,680 --> 00:56:01,839
Speaker 4: She's so delicious.

1155
00:56:03,680 --> 00:56:07,520
Speaker 1: Ah. Thanks everybody for listening. If you're on Spotify, stubbed

1156
00:56:07,520 --> 00:56:08,000
Speaker 1: the Patreon