WEBVTT - I am ASLEEP

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<v Speaker 1>Apod Shake Production. Welcome back to another episode about I

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<v Speaker 1>Bad Mom Podcast. We have days where we are literally

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<v Speaker 1>tearing our hair out. I feel like I'm going grayer

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<v Speaker 1>by the moment.

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<v Speaker 2>Before we even walked into this room. Yeah, we're just

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<v Speaker 2>like hard on the text, Like you're just getting peppered

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<v Speaker 2>by your daughter's right now.

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<v Speaker 1>I went for a beautiful walk this morning, four kilometers

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<v Speaker 1>in nature. Listen to Mel Robbins podcast. You know, like

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<v Speaker 1>I did all.

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<v Speaker 3>The things this morning, all of them.

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<v Speaker 1>And I get into work and I'm super stress because

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<v Speaker 1>I've just got text stuff to text from my children.

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<v Speaker 1>They had a really late night two days ago, and

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<v Speaker 1>I reminded them when they had the late night, if

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<v Speaker 1>kindness and rudeness tomorrow, I'm gonna know that you can't

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<v Speaker 1>handle late nights. So they were deliberately delightful yesterday, but

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<v Speaker 1>I know that today today is the reaper. Today is today.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not thinking about the fact that it was a

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<v Speaker 1>well I am late night. Yeah, they're thinking I'm not thinking,

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<v Speaker 1>and so we don't know anything. They're related.

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<v Speaker 3>You don't know anything.

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<v Speaker 2>Remember, Am I a bad mum for faking being asleep?

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<v Speaker 2>This is just a fun one and it's just going

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<v Speaker 2>to be fun and like harder. But it's like we

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<v Speaker 2>sell this podcast, right, it's being reflective fun but sometimes

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<v Speaker 2>shit behavior from us, but at the same time like

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<v Speaker 2>we own it.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I think your routine tends to happen on a

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<v Speaker 3>Monday night only.

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<v Speaker 2>Whereas you're like, I'm in buy what time is your

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<v Speaker 2>bed on a Monday night?

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<v Speaker 1>Like, well, I could easily go to bed at eight,

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<v Speaker 1>but I've got kids that are.

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<v Speaker 2>Up, and I'm like, can you please be quiet? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I can go to sleep. Yeah, but your Monday nights

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<v Speaker 2>are very routine. You catch up from your weekends on

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<v Speaker 2>your Monday night, right, so you know that you're in

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<v Speaker 2>bed early Monday night. If I could do that every night,

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<v Speaker 2>Katie by eight o'clock, I would.

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<v Speaker 3>Be one happy mama.

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<v Speaker 1>But what I noticed about you, though, is when I

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<v Speaker 1>text you in the evenings. Yeah, you've always got your

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<v Speaker 1>phone notifications on silent yea quite early on, so that

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<v Speaker 1>the intent is there.

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<v Speaker 3>It's definitely on, but I will reply.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, okay, it's just when she picked their phone

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<v Speaker 2>up to look.

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<v Speaker 3>I wish that I could put that.

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<v Speaker 2>Same silencing messages on my kids, or maybe on my forehead.

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<v Speaker 2>That would be wonderful that night because I get to,

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<v Speaker 2>like I've said this many times on this podcast, I

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<v Speaker 2>get to like eight, let's eight thirty, and my quota

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<v Speaker 2>of patience is like it's done, Like it's shot. I

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<v Speaker 2>need to work on this, right, Like this is serious stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>I gotta work on this. I just have nothing left

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<v Speaker 2>in the tank because I've probably been up since like

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<v Speaker 2>four point thirty train, done all that, and you're like give, give, give, give, give,

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<v Speaker 2>run around, run, do everything all day, and then eight

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<v Speaker 2>thirty comes and I'm like, I've got nothing left. And

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<v Speaker 2>then I go to bed feeling like a shit mum

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<v Speaker 2>because I haven't had enough patience or energy to just

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<v Speaker 2>sit with them and be present when they going to

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<v Speaker 2>bed and just listen to them and do all.

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<v Speaker 1>That's a hard one and I found this last night.

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<v Speaker 1>So I left work late. I say late. I left

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<v Speaker 1>work at like six, and then I went to the gym,

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<v Speaker 1>but I hadn't done any exercise, and so I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>go to the gym, just do half an hour of.

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<v Speaker 3>Wait just yep.

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<v Speaker 1>And so then by the time I got home it

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<v Speaker 1>was after seven, and then I just wanted to relax,

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<v Speaker 1>have a shower, and they just kept talking. And the

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<v Speaker 1>thing is, there's a part of me that's like, stop talking,

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<v Speaker 1>trying to have a shower, And then the other part

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<v Speaker 1>of me is like, you haven't spent.

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<v Speaker 3>Any time with them today at all.

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<v Speaker 1>You've been away all day, they've been at school all day,

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<v Speaker 1>You've got home late, and you literally don't have the

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<v Speaker 1>patience to listen to what your kids want to talk

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<v Speaker 1>to you about for like half an hour.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah that does make you feel.

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<v Speaker 2>Like so shit, Yeah it does, because like there's little moments, say,

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<v Speaker 2>for instance, like when I'm in the car driving them everywhere,

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<v Speaker 2>that I'll talk to them and go like ask them

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<v Speaker 2>the questions and then maybe at that point they won't

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<v Speaker 2>feel like talking to me. Like Elsie goes, I said, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>what are you looking at out of the window because

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<v Speaker 2>we were coming home from netball? That's right, And then

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<v Speaker 2>she's looking out it's just on that sort of like

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<v Speaker 2>getting dark right that day, she I'm just looking at

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<v Speaker 2>the stars.

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<v Speaker 1>She's like, shush, shush.

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<v Speaker 3>If I could tell you to shush. When I felt like,

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<v Speaker 3>how about you drive the car and I'll look at the.

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<v Speaker 2>Fucking stars, I was like, I don't feel like shushing, right, now,

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<v Speaker 2>But then I flip it.

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<v Speaker 3>I go, like at nighttime when they're like.

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<v Speaker 2>Mom, please sit with me for like just a couple

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<v Speaker 2>of minutes, and I feel myself going, I can't.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm looking at the star.

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<v Speaker 3>In the back of my eyelids.

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<v Speaker 2>Anyway, fast forward to a few times now, and the

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<v Speaker 2>reason why I'm saying it is I've done it more

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<v Speaker 2>than once, which is why I'm raising it with you,

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<v Speaker 2>is have you ever, as a parent, pretended that you're asleep,

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<v Speaker 2>like actually faked that you're asleep when your child's at

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<v Speaker 2>the bed. I can't hear you, I'm really asleep when

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<v Speaker 2>you're not asleep, and you can hear them like they're

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<v Speaker 2>not dying, they're not dead, they're not sick.

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<v Speaker 3>It's probably just for a cup of water.

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<v Speaker 2>You can tell the tone of your own kids, right,

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<v Speaker 2>These are the times where I've faked it, fake it

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<v Speaker 2>till you make it, and I have faked it to

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<v Speaker 2>go just gonna lay here and it's in the darken

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<v Speaker 2>if I lay here really still and I'm really really

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<v Speaker 2>really really still, and don't butt it, like, don't batter

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<v Speaker 2>your eyelids, don't move, they might go away.

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<v Speaker 1>They might have to sap they don't need a glass

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<v Speaker 1>of water anymore.

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<v Speaker 3>They might walk past the tap and just get their

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<v Speaker 3>own glass of water.

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<v Speaker 2>I've done it more than once, Katie, and I feel

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<v Speaker 2>shit because I've yeah, I've faked it quite a few times.

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<v Speaker 1>Really, did they go and pull their own glass of water? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Look, I've done it more than three times, but

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<v Speaker 2>let's just use three as the roundup.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay.

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<v Speaker 2>The last one, which was very relevant, she called me

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<v Speaker 2>out on it and she was like, mom, she's mom.

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<v Speaker 2>I went and you know how you just feel yourself

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<v Speaker 2>gope like you and she goes, I know you're not asleep,

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<v Speaker 2>and I was like, oh, I'm not asleep. This is

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<v Speaker 2>the difference of age, Katie. They're older now they can

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<v Speaker 2>call you out and call the bluff on it.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>But also it's like, well, okay, I'm not asleep, but

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want to get up. I don't want to

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<v Speaker 1>get up.

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<v Speaker 2>But by that stage, bab I was lulling so hard

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<v Speaker 2>at myself faking being asleep and then having her call

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<v Speaker 2>me out and go, you're not even to sleep, And.

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<v Speaker 3>I was like, I am not. I am not asleep,

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<v Speaker 3>But I was like, but I don't want to get up.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you have those moments where you're like, what do

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<v Speaker 1>you need? What do you need from me? I am

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<v Speaker 1>trying to sleep, what.

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<v Speaker 3>Do you need?

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<v Speaker 2>I think this is the difference of like ages, right,

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<v Speaker 2>is that back in the day, when that little bit

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<v Speaker 2>like smaller, maybe like let's just say five, and they

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<v Speaker 2>end up at your bedside, you know that they're there.

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<v Speaker 2>You can hear them, you can see them, you can

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<v Speaker 2>feel them that you're waiting for somebody else that could

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<v Speaker 2>possibly be laying next to you to jump in so

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<v Speaker 2>that you don't you know, you don't wake up. They

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<v Speaker 2>were years ago, right nowadays most cases will be.

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<v Speaker 3>I'll get back up.

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<v Speaker 2>I'll probably moan and groan about it and tell you

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<v Speaker 2>that you don't need a glass of water.

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<v Speaker 3>You're just faking it.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean they've learnt from the best, because clearly I

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<v Speaker 2>do it as well.

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<v Speaker 3>But yeah, I just think I've done it more than once.

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<v Speaker 2>And I kind of caught myself out as well as

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<v Speaker 2>being caught out because we were both ended up in

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<v Speaker 2>a fit of laughter. But at the same time, I

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<v Speaker 2>just was like, Rachel got I need to swap up

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<v Speaker 2>my game. It's not working. I can't like I just

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<v Speaker 2>have to own it and just I'm not getting out

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<v Speaker 2>of bed. What do you want from me? But the

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<v Speaker 2>thing with my girls, just to wrap this up, is

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<v Speaker 2>they're all good. But then Katie, they get to that

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<v Speaker 2>where I sleep and where they sleep is quite what

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<v Speaker 2>you see, like there's quite a distance. And then when

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<v Speaker 2>the house is black, pitch black, they're like, no, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>not walking back to my room by myself. And yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>but you walk down here, Yeah, you walk down here

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<v Speaker 2>to do this, to create this, and no, you can't

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<v Speaker 2>walk back. Need to change up my game. So if

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<v Speaker 2>you've got any ideas, yeah I do. Actually I've got

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<v Speaker 2>an idea.

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<v Speaker 1>And the idea is to make your kids really scared

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<v Speaker 1>of waking you up, because I did that too, and

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<v Speaker 1>my girls got to the point where they would say,

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<v Speaker 1>don't wake mom up, She'll be so mad, wake dad up.

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<v Speaker 1>And I would then have nights where the girls would

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<v Speaker 1>come in and I would do the same as you.

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<v Speaker 1>I would pretend to be asleep. I hear them come in,

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<v Speaker 1>I've heard it. I've heard them go around and wake

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<v Speaker 1>day up, and I will lay there and pretend to

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<v Speaker 1>be asleep. Fucking mislike. I don't even know how it

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<v Speaker 1>came about. But they then saw me as this like monster, like,

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<v Speaker 1>don't wake the monster in the middle of the night.

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<v Speaker 2>I also have had that a few times, and again

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<v Speaker 2>that's off the back of me just not having Obviously,

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<v Speaker 2>my patience barrier is very slim to none during a

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<v Speaker 2>certain window where I just get to the point where

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, I'm exhausted. I can't give to any of you,

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<v Speaker 2>not single ioda.

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<v Speaker 1>I remember one time, Rachel, and I'm sure I've told

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<v Speaker 1>you about this, but Holly came in in the middle

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<v Speaker 1>of the night and I was so done, like I'd

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<v Speaker 1>been woken up a few times. I was just like

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<v Speaker 1>I turned around and I went and she looked at

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<v Speaker 1>me all like innocently. I started getting a bit teary,

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<v Speaker 1>and she said.

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<v Speaker 3>My tooth came out.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh I am a shit mom,