1
00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:25,160
Speaker 1: Apod Shake Production. Welcome back to another episode about I

2
00:00:25,321 --> 00:00:28,881
Speaker 1: Bad Mom Podcast. We have days where we are literally

3
00:00:28,961 --> 00:00:31,601
Speaker 1: tearing our hair out. I feel like I'm going grayer

4
00:00:32,201 --> 00:00:33,681
Speaker 1: by the moment.

5
00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:36,080
Speaker 2: Before we even walked into this room. Yeah, we're just

6
00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:39,720
Speaker 2: like hard on the text, Like you're just getting peppered

7
00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:41,040
Speaker 2: by your daughter's right now.

8
00:00:41,081 --> 00:00:44,721
Speaker 1: I went for a beautiful walk this morning, four kilometers

9
00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:48,840
Speaker 1: in nature. Listen to Mel Robbins podcast. You know, like

10
00:00:48,921 --> 00:00:49,601
Speaker 1: I did all.

11
00:00:49,521 --> 00:00:51,720
Speaker 3: The things this morning, all of them.

12
00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:54,601
Speaker 1: And I get into work and I'm super stress because

13
00:00:54,601 --> 00:00:56,681
Speaker 1: I've just got text stuff to text from my children.

14
00:00:56,801 --> 00:01:01,681
Speaker 1: They had a really late night two days ago, and

15
00:01:01,721 --> 00:01:04,801
Speaker 1: I reminded them when they had the late night, if

16
00:01:05,561 --> 00:01:09,601
Speaker 1: kindness and rudeness tomorrow, I'm gonna know that you can't

17
00:01:09,601 --> 00:01:14,961
Speaker 1: handle late nights. So they were deliberately delightful yesterday, but

18
00:01:15,081 --> 00:01:19,360
Speaker 1: I know that today today is the reaper. Today is today.

19
00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:22,081
Speaker 1: I'm not thinking about the fact that it was a

20
00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:25,960
Speaker 1: well I am late night. Yeah, they're thinking I'm not thinking,

21
00:01:26,401 --> 00:01:28,520
Speaker 1: and so we don't know anything. They're related.

22
00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:30,121
Speaker 3: You don't know anything.

23
00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:44,481
Speaker 2: Remember, Am I a bad mum for faking being asleep?

24
00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:48,321
Speaker 2: This is just a fun one and it's just going

25
00:01:48,361 --> 00:01:50,201
Speaker 2: to be fun and like harder. But it's like we

26
00:01:50,281 --> 00:01:54,841
Speaker 2: sell this podcast, right, it's being reflective fun but sometimes

27
00:01:55,161 --> 00:01:58,641
Speaker 2: shit behavior from us, but at the same time like

28
00:01:58,681 --> 00:01:59,441
Speaker 2: we own it.

29
00:01:59,641 --> 00:02:02,601
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think your routine tends to happen on a

30
00:02:02,641 --> 00:02:03,641
Speaker 3: Monday night only.

31
00:02:03,681 --> 00:02:06,521
Speaker 2: Whereas you're like, I'm in buy what time is your

32
00:02:06,521 --> 00:02:07,641
Speaker 2: bed on a Monday night?

33
00:02:08,321 --> 00:02:11,401
Speaker 1: Like, well, I could easily go to bed at eight,

34
00:02:11,561 --> 00:02:13,041
Speaker 1: but I've got kids that are.

35
00:02:13,001 --> 00:02:14,960
Speaker 2: Up, and I'm like, can you please be quiet? Yeah,

36
00:02:15,001 --> 00:02:17,201
Speaker 2: I can go to sleep. Yeah, but your Monday nights

37
00:02:17,201 --> 00:02:20,921
Speaker 2: are very routine. You catch up from your weekends on

38
00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:22,841
Speaker 2: your Monday night, right, so you know that you're in

39
00:02:22,881 --> 00:02:25,400
Speaker 2: bed early Monday night. If I could do that every night,

40
00:02:25,481 --> 00:02:28,000
Speaker 2: Katie by eight o'clock, I would.

41
00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:29,601
Speaker 3: Be one happy mama.

42
00:02:29,761 --> 00:02:31,761
Speaker 1: But what I noticed about you, though, is when I

43
00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,641
Speaker 1: text you in the evenings. Yeah, you've always got your

44
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:39,321
Speaker 1: phone notifications on silent yea quite early on, so that

45
00:02:39,441 --> 00:02:40,400
Speaker 1: the intent is there.

46
00:02:41,121 --> 00:02:45,201
Speaker 3: It's definitely on, but I will reply.

47
00:02:45,401 --> 00:02:50,520
Speaker 2: I mean, okay, it's just when she picked their phone

48
00:02:50,601 --> 00:02:51,481
Speaker 2: up to look.

49
00:02:51,721 --> 00:02:54,241
Speaker 3: I wish that I could put that.

50
00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:58,841
Speaker 2: Same silencing messages on my kids, or maybe on my forehead.

51
00:02:58,841 --> 00:03:00,801
Speaker 2: That would be wonderful that night because I get to,

52
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,361
Speaker 2: like I've said this many times on this podcast, I

53
00:03:03,401 --> 00:03:07,001
Speaker 2: get to like eight, let's eight thirty, and my quota

54
00:03:07,081 --> 00:03:09,921
Speaker 2: of patience is like it's done, Like it's shot. I

55
00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:12,441
Speaker 2: need to work on this, right, Like this is serious stuff.

56
00:03:12,481 --> 00:03:16,121
Speaker 2: I gotta work on this. I just have nothing left

57
00:03:16,121 --> 00:03:18,441
Speaker 2: in the tank because I've probably been up since like

58
00:03:18,441 --> 00:03:23,361
Speaker 2: four point thirty train, done all that, and you're like give, give, give, give, give,

59
00:03:23,481 --> 00:03:26,001
Speaker 2: run around, run, do everything all day, and then eight

60
00:03:26,041 --> 00:03:28,521
Speaker 2: thirty comes and I'm like, I've got nothing left. And

61
00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:30,361
Speaker 2: then I go to bed feeling like a shit mum

62
00:03:30,401 --> 00:03:33,241
Speaker 2: because I haven't had enough patience or energy to just

63
00:03:33,321 --> 00:03:36,561
Speaker 2: sit with them and be present when they going to

64
00:03:36,681 --> 00:03:39,001
Speaker 2: bed and just listen to them and do all.

65
00:03:39,041 --> 00:03:41,361
Speaker 1: That's a hard one and I found this last night.

66
00:03:41,441 --> 00:03:44,921
Speaker 1: So I left work late. I say late. I left

67
00:03:44,921 --> 00:03:49,081
Speaker 1: work at like six, and then I went to the gym,

68
00:03:49,401 --> 00:03:51,481
Speaker 1: but I hadn't done any exercise, and so I was like,

69
00:03:51,561 --> 00:03:53,361
Speaker 1: go to the gym, just do half an hour of.

70
00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:54,281
Speaker 3: Wait just yep.

71
00:03:54,641 --> 00:03:57,401
Speaker 1: And so then by the time I got home it

72
00:03:57,561 --> 00:04:02,160
Speaker 1: was after seven, and then I just wanted to relax,

73
00:04:02,241 --> 00:04:05,721
Speaker 1: have a shower, and they just kept talking. And the

74
00:04:05,801 --> 00:04:08,401
Speaker 1: thing is, there's a part of me that's like, stop talking,

75
00:04:08,601 --> 00:04:10,721
Speaker 1: trying to have a shower, And then the other part

76
00:04:10,721 --> 00:04:12,961
Speaker 1: of me is like, you haven't spent.

77
00:04:12,881 --> 00:04:14,601
Speaker 3: Any time with them today at all.

78
00:04:14,801 --> 00:04:17,801
Speaker 1: You've been away all day, they've been at school all day,

79
00:04:17,801 --> 00:04:21,481
Speaker 1: You've got home late, and you literally don't have the

80
00:04:21,561 --> 00:04:24,241
Speaker 1: patience to listen to what your kids want to talk

81
00:04:24,281 --> 00:04:26,681
Speaker 1: to you about for like half an hour.

82
00:04:27,161 --> 00:04:29,041
Speaker 3: Yeah that does make you feel.

83
00:04:28,761 --> 00:04:32,961
Speaker 2: Like so shit, Yeah it does, because like there's little moments, say,

84
00:04:32,961 --> 00:04:35,481
Speaker 2: for instance, like when I'm in the car driving them everywhere,

85
00:04:35,481 --> 00:04:37,440
Speaker 2: that I'll talk to them and go like ask them

86
00:04:37,481 --> 00:04:40,121
Speaker 2: the questions and then maybe at that point they won't

87
00:04:40,161 --> 00:04:43,321
Speaker 2: feel like talking to me. Like Elsie goes, I said, oh,

88
00:04:43,361 --> 00:04:46,041
Speaker 2: what are you looking at out of the window because

89
00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:48,081
Speaker 2: we were coming home from netball? That's right, And then

90
00:04:48,201 --> 00:04:50,121
Speaker 2: she's looking out it's just on that sort of like

91
00:04:50,201 --> 00:04:52,761
Speaker 2: getting dark right that day, she I'm just looking at

92
00:04:52,761 --> 00:04:53,241
Speaker 2: the stars.

93
00:04:53,281 --> 00:04:57,121
Speaker 1: She's like, shush, shush.

94
00:04:57,320 --> 00:04:59,400
Speaker 3: If I could tell you to shush. When I felt like,

95
00:04:59,721 --> 00:05:01,561
Speaker 3: how about you drive the car and I'll look at the.

96
00:05:01,481 --> 00:05:04,041
Speaker 2: Fucking stars, I was like, I don't feel like shushing, right, now,

97
00:05:04,081 --> 00:05:04,960
Speaker 2: But then I flip it.

98
00:05:05,121 --> 00:05:07,801
Speaker 3: I go, like at nighttime when they're like.

99
00:05:07,801 --> 00:05:09,761
Speaker 2: Mom, please sit with me for like just a couple

100
00:05:09,801 --> 00:05:12,760
Speaker 2: of minutes, and I feel myself going, I can't.

101
00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:14,121
Speaker 1: I'm looking at the star.

102
00:05:15,521 --> 00:05:17,281
Speaker 3: In the back of my eyelids.

103
00:05:17,761 --> 00:05:21,241
Speaker 2: Anyway, fast forward to a few times now, and the

104
00:05:21,361 --> 00:05:24,001
Speaker 2: reason why I'm saying it is I've done it more

105
00:05:24,001 --> 00:05:27,401
Speaker 2: than once, which is why I'm raising it with you,

106
00:05:28,521 --> 00:05:32,841
Speaker 2: is have you ever, as a parent, pretended that you're asleep,

107
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:35,681
Speaker 2: like actually faked that you're asleep when your child's at

108
00:05:35,721 --> 00:05:39,241
Speaker 2: the bed. I can't hear you, I'm really asleep when

109
00:05:39,281 --> 00:05:41,121
Speaker 2: you're not asleep, and you can hear them like they're

110
00:05:41,121 --> 00:05:42,880
Speaker 2: not dying, they're not dead, they're not sick.

111
00:05:44,161 --> 00:05:45,721
Speaker 3: It's probably just for a cup of water.

112
00:05:46,041 --> 00:05:48,200
Speaker 2: You can tell the tone of your own kids, right,

113
00:05:49,001 --> 00:05:51,841
Speaker 2: These are the times where I've faked it, fake it

114
00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:54,601
Speaker 2: till you make it, and I have faked it to

115
00:05:54,681 --> 00:05:56,840
Speaker 2: go just gonna lay here and it's in the darken

116
00:05:56,841 --> 00:05:58,921
Speaker 2: if I lay here really still and I'm really really

117
00:05:58,961 --> 00:06:01,801
Speaker 2: really really still, and don't butt it, like, don't batter

118
00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:06,320
Speaker 2: your eyelids, don't move, they might go away.

119
00:06:08,641 --> 00:06:10,760
Speaker 1: They might have to sap they don't need a glass

120
00:06:10,801 --> 00:06:11,880
Speaker 1: of water anymore.

121
00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:14,641
Speaker 3: They might walk past the tap and just get their

122
00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:15,681
Speaker 3: own glass of water.

123
00:06:16,161 --> 00:06:18,241
Speaker 2: I've done it more than once, Katie, and I feel

124
00:06:18,281 --> 00:06:21,840
Speaker 2: shit because I've yeah, I've faked it quite a few times.

125
00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:25,241
Speaker 1: Really, did they go and pull their own glass of water? Yeah?

126
00:06:25,281 --> 00:06:27,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, Look, I've done it more than three times, but

127
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,561
Speaker 2: let's just use three as the roundup.

128
00:06:29,681 --> 00:06:30,161
Speaker 3: Okay.

129
00:06:31,201 --> 00:06:39,440
Speaker 2: The last one, which was very relevant, she called me

130
00:06:39,521 --> 00:06:43,400
Speaker 2: out on it and she was like, mom, she's mom.

131
00:06:43,681 --> 00:06:46,321
Speaker 2: I went and you know how you just feel yourself

132
00:06:46,361 --> 00:06:51,001
Speaker 2: gope like you and she goes, I know you're not asleep,

133
00:06:51,121 --> 00:06:54,361
Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, I'm not asleep. This is

134
00:06:54,401 --> 00:06:58,401
Speaker 2: the difference of age, Katie. They're older now they can

135
00:06:58,481 --> 00:07:00,801
Speaker 2: call you out and call the bluff on it.

136
00:07:01,161 --> 00:07:01,401
Speaker 3: Yeah.

137
00:07:01,481 --> 00:07:05,561
Speaker 1: But also it's like, well, okay, I'm not asleep, but

138
00:07:06,121 --> 00:07:09,841
Speaker 1: I don't want to get up. I don't want to

139
00:07:09,841 --> 00:07:10,201
Speaker 1: get up.

140
00:07:10,241 --> 00:07:13,081
Speaker 2: But by that stage, bab I was lulling so hard

141
00:07:13,161 --> 00:07:17,401
Speaker 2: at myself faking being asleep and then having her call

142
00:07:17,441 --> 00:07:19,601
Speaker 2: me out and go, you're not even to sleep, And.

143
00:07:19,561 --> 00:07:23,081
Speaker 3: I was like, I am not. I am not asleep,

144
00:07:23,161 --> 00:07:24,761
Speaker 3: But I was like, but I don't want to get up.

145
00:07:24,841 --> 00:07:26,561
Speaker 1: Do you have those moments where you're like, what do

146
00:07:26,641 --> 00:07:30,761
Speaker 1: you need? What do you need from me? I am

147
00:07:31,121 --> 00:07:32,921
Speaker 1: trying to sleep, what.

148
00:07:32,841 --> 00:07:33,481
Speaker 3: Do you need?

149
00:07:33,881 --> 00:07:36,401
Speaker 2: I think this is the difference of like ages, right,

150
00:07:36,801 --> 00:07:39,881
Speaker 2: is that back in the day, when that little bit

151
00:07:40,401 --> 00:07:43,121
Speaker 2: like smaller, maybe like let's just say five, and they

152
00:07:43,201 --> 00:07:45,921
Speaker 2: end up at your bedside, you know that they're there.

153
00:07:46,001 --> 00:07:47,521
Speaker 2: You can hear them, you can see them, you can

154
00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:50,561
Speaker 2: feel them that you're waiting for somebody else that could

155
00:07:50,601 --> 00:07:53,241
Speaker 2: possibly be laying next to you to jump in so

156
00:07:53,321 --> 00:07:55,961
Speaker 2: that you don't you know, you don't wake up. They

157
00:07:56,041 --> 00:08:00,001
Speaker 2: were years ago, right nowadays most cases will be.

158
00:07:59,961 --> 00:08:00,921
Speaker 3: I'll get back up.

159
00:08:01,001 --> 00:08:03,881
Speaker 2: I'll probably moan and groan about it and tell you

160
00:08:03,961 --> 00:08:05,401
Speaker 2: that you don't need a glass of water.

161
00:08:05,441 --> 00:08:06,361
Speaker 3: You're just faking it.

162
00:08:06,601 --> 00:08:08,921
Speaker 2: I mean they've learnt from the best, because clearly I

163
00:08:08,961 --> 00:08:09,641
Speaker 2: do it as well.

164
00:08:09,921 --> 00:08:12,481
Speaker 3: But yeah, I just think I've done it more than once.

165
00:08:13,041 --> 00:08:16,081
Speaker 2: And I kind of caught myself out as well as

166
00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:19,161
Speaker 2: being caught out because we were both ended up in

167
00:08:19,201 --> 00:08:21,201
Speaker 2: a fit of laughter. But at the same time, I

168
00:08:21,441 --> 00:08:24,161
Speaker 2: just was like, Rachel got I need to swap up

169
00:08:24,161 --> 00:08:26,561
Speaker 2: my game. It's not working. I can't like I just

170
00:08:26,561 --> 00:08:28,121
Speaker 2: have to own it and just I'm not getting out

171
00:08:28,161 --> 00:08:30,401
Speaker 2: of bed. What do you want from me? But the

172
00:08:30,521 --> 00:08:32,961
Speaker 2: thing with my girls, just to wrap this up, is

173
00:08:33,401 --> 00:08:36,161
Speaker 2: they're all good. But then Katie, they get to that

174
00:08:36,481 --> 00:08:39,401
Speaker 2: where I sleep and where they sleep is quite what

175
00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:42,361
Speaker 2: you see, like there's quite a distance. And then when

176
00:08:42,361 --> 00:08:45,641
Speaker 2: the house is black, pitch black, they're like, no, I'm

177
00:08:45,641 --> 00:08:48,561
Speaker 2: not walking back to my room by myself. And yeah,

178
00:08:48,641 --> 00:08:52,161
Speaker 2: but you walk down here, Yeah, you walk down here

179
00:08:52,361 --> 00:08:56,521
Speaker 2: to do this, to create this, and no, you can't

180
00:08:56,561 --> 00:08:58,641
Speaker 2: walk back. Need to change up my game. So if

181
00:08:58,681 --> 00:09:01,121
Speaker 2: you've got any ideas, yeah I do. Actually I've got

182
00:09:01,161 --> 00:09:01,721
Speaker 2: an idea.

183
00:09:01,761 --> 00:09:04,961
Speaker 1: And the idea is to make your kids really scared

184
00:09:05,241 --> 00:09:08,361
Speaker 1: of waking you up, because I did that too, and

185
00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:11,041
Speaker 1: my girls got to the point where they would say,

186
00:09:11,561 --> 00:09:15,801
Speaker 1: don't wake mom up, She'll be so mad, wake dad up.

187
00:09:17,401 --> 00:09:21,801
Speaker 1: And I would then have nights where the girls would

188
00:09:21,881 --> 00:09:24,241
Speaker 1: come in and I would do the same as you.

189
00:09:24,601 --> 00:09:27,161
Speaker 1: I would pretend to be asleep. I hear them come in,

190
00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:30,281
Speaker 1: I've heard it. I've heard them go around and wake

191
00:09:30,441 --> 00:09:34,681
Speaker 1: day up, and I will lay there and pretend to

192
00:09:34,721 --> 00:09:43,201
Speaker 1: be asleep. Fucking mislike. I don't even know how it

193
00:09:43,241 --> 00:09:46,521
Speaker 1: came about. But they then saw me as this like monster, like,

194
00:09:46,681 --> 00:09:49,001
Speaker 1: don't wake the monster in the middle of the night.

195
00:09:49,801 --> 00:09:52,241
Speaker 2: I also have had that a few times, and again

196
00:09:52,321 --> 00:09:55,281
Speaker 2: that's off the back of me just not having Obviously,

197
00:09:55,401 --> 00:09:59,161
Speaker 2: my patience barrier is very slim to none during a

198
00:09:59,201 --> 00:10:01,321
Speaker 2: certain window where I just get to the point where

199
00:10:01,321 --> 00:10:04,721
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm exhausted. I can't give to any of you,

200
00:10:04,761 --> 00:10:06,201
Speaker 2: not single ioda.

201
00:10:06,521 --> 00:10:09,081
Speaker 1: I remember one time, Rachel, and I'm sure I've told

202
00:10:09,081 --> 00:10:11,721
Speaker 1: you about this, but Holly came in in the middle

203
00:10:11,761 --> 00:10:14,801
Speaker 1: of the night and I was so done, like I'd

204
00:10:14,841 --> 00:10:17,001
Speaker 1: been woken up a few times. I was just like

205
00:10:17,361 --> 00:10:23,721
Speaker 1: I turned around and I went and she looked at

206
00:10:23,761 --> 00:10:28,601
Speaker 1: me all like innocently. I started getting a bit teary,

207
00:10:29,041 --> 00:10:29,961
Speaker 1: and she said.

208
00:10:30,041 --> 00:10:32,921
Speaker 3: My tooth came out.

209
00:10:33,921 --> 00:10:39,161
Speaker 1: Oh I am a shit mom,