Speaker 1: I want the fairy tale. I want the prince charming.
Speaker 2: She how do I put this? Isn't a fan of
Speaker 2: my kissing style.
Speaker 1: With the boyfriend and girlfriend for about twelve hours. He's
Speaker 1: in a trash bin. He's non recyclable catching them mu.
Speaker 2: I love being love. I love love.
Speaker 1: On today's episode of Where's Your Head Out, we are
Speaker 1: drunk texting one another and looking at the psychology behind
Speaker 1: why we feel the need to send risk a messages
Speaker 1: when we are ten shots deep.
Speaker 2: Look Anna, we've all been there, so we're going to
Speaker 2: help you successfully write and respond to those what are
Speaker 2: you doing text messages?
Speaker 1: Stay tuned to find out whether drunk texts are truly
Speaker 1: sober thoughts. Where's Your Head Out is a podcast that
Speaker 1: talks all things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and
Speaker 1: everything in between.
Speaker 2: This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip,
Speaker 2: intimate details, advice, and much more. Welcome back and another
Speaker 2: day in the studio. How are you feeling?
Speaker 1: I'm okay. Can you see a bit of deep heat?
Speaker 1: I've got to saw next. I feel like prey it
Speaker 1: on my neck to try and like loosen it. You know,
Speaker 1: when you just wake up Russ. Yeah, I've just been
Speaker 1: waking up a bit rough lately.
Speaker 2: I thought that smell was taking me back to the
Speaker 2: footy change rooms, getting the rubbed down by the weird
Speaker 2: looking trainers telling me that they've never seen muscles as
Speaker 2: big as mine.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I feel like sometimes you make up
Speaker 1: these comments.
Speaker 2: I swear I hear it, so I don't know if
Speaker 2: someone says it or I think it, it's still in
Speaker 2: my mind.
Speaker 1: Oh God, how's your week been?
Speaker 2: Good? Good? We haven't touched on something though. Yeah, the
Speaker 2: fashion show from a couple of weeks ago we went to.
Speaker 2: Do you remember that one?
Speaker 1: I do remember that one. Yeah. I actually can't believe
Speaker 1: you're bringing that back up, but yes, I do remember.
Speaker 2: Yes, we didn't touch on the fact that someone was
Speaker 2: walking in there and we had to watch them front row.
Speaker 2: I mean, you didn't want me to bring this up, teacher.
Speaker 1: I didn't really expect Matt to bring this up, So
Speaker 1: I'm a little bit sure. But yes, Matt and I
Speaker 1: did go to a fashion show a few weeks back. Now,
Speaker 1: I thought I had like avoided that chat. But here
Speaker 1: we are.
Speaker 2: I'min busy. We've had guests in the meantime, ut. But
Speaker 2: here it is. We need to bring it off.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so do you want me to Well.
Speaker 2: We were sitting front row, sitting there it was you
Speaker 2: meeting Jen and Michael, sitting front row with our partners. Yes,
Speaker 2: we're watching this beautiful fashion show, some beautiful clothes. It
Speaker 2: was an all male runway, so they're coming out and
Speaker 2: who none other that comes out than your ex Josh Packham.
Speaker 2: I'll give you this. He actually did look good in
Speaker 2: what he was wearing.
Speaker 1: I did like it, But to be honest, I was
Speaker 1: surprised you weren't asked because you were an actual model,
Speaker 1: Like you're a six foot five.
Speaker 2: You've unfortunate.
Speaker 1: I'm saying no more, but I was surprised to see
Speaker 1: you weren't asked to do that runway show.
Speaker 2: But then, to be honest, maybe got lost in my
Speaker 2: junk mail.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's too popular everything.
Speaker 2: Maybe they knew they couldn't afford it. I don't know
Speaker 2: who knows, but yeah I was. I wasn't too surprised.
Speaker 2: I was an inn iveene. I haven't walked a catwalk
Speaker 2: in what years? When was the last time you walked one?
Speaker 1: A long time? I wouldn't do it again.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we did say afterwards, so that I'd find it
Speaker 2: pretty weird to do. Now. I don't think i'd be
Speaker 2: able to take it as seriously as I used to,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, it'd be different.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I used to take them very seriously, Like
Speaker 1: I was like full Zoolander mode on I know.
Speaker 2: You definitely I wanted to get that good photo, and
Speaker 2: I mean.
Speaker 1: The guys on the runway did an amazing job and
Speaker 1: they were very Zoolander.
Speaker 2: So let's talk about it though. Josh Packham, your ex,
Speaker 2: everyone knows that, come strutting out looking very Zoolander. You're
Speaker 2: sitting front row with your ring glistening in the light,
Speaker 2: with Michael sitting next to you. Join me talk you
Speaker 2: through what emotions you're feeling when that happens.
Speaker 1: I didn't really feel any emotions. I was just kind
Speaker 1: of like, I mean, pre show, you were like, hey,
Speaker 1: just a little heads up, Josh, your ex and his
Speaker 1: twin brother are walking in the show. So I was like, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: like that's fine, Like it is what it is. You know,
Speaker 1: Josh and I are on like fine terms. There's no
Speaker 1: bad blood. So I was just like that's cool. When
Speaker 1: I saw him, Like I didn't really feel any type
Speaker 1: of way. I was just like, it is what it is.
Speaker 1: I mean, you were like camera at the ready, like
Speaker 1: zooming in on him. Like that's a bit much you
Speaker 1: do you mad?
Speaker 2: I wanted to get here and then your reaction, but
Speaker 2: you told nothing. You didn't give anything away. It didn't
Speaker 2: look like anything.
Speaker 1: What was strange about that though, And I know that
Speaker 1: you knew this was happening. Was directly across from me
Speaker 1: and you on this runway catwalk was the Daily Mail
Speaker 1: and they had like a camera set up just pointing
Speaker 1: directly at me, Michael, you and Jen. And I was like,
Speaker 1: is this because they know that my ex boyfriend is
Speaker 1: walking in the rum way and I'm sitting here with
Speaker 1: my new fiance, Like, is that why they're pointing the
Speaker 1: camera at us? Because I was a little bit shook
Speaker 1: about that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was a bit awkward. I reckon. I saw
Speaker 2: that as well, and I was like, oh, not look
Speaker 2: too to I don't know, look too angry at him
Speaker 2: or too like you just have.
Speaker 1: To be neutral, right, Like you can't be happy, you
Speaker 1: can't laugh, you definitely can't look angry.
Speaker 2: In wrestling, we call it no selling, just blank face.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I did a good blank face.
Speaker 2: You did well. Had you spoken to Josh since you
Speaker 2: guys got engaged?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: Actually, so no congratulations message or anything from him?
Speaker 1: No, I didn't. I don't think so.
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe you've had too many messages you've lost his No.
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure I didn't get a message from him.
Speaker 1: But that's okay.
Speaker 2: Well, speaking of messages, so Jen and I celebrated out
Speaker 2: one year a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 1: Rat it's a big milestone.
Speaker 2: It's gone so quickly.
Speaker 1: What did you guys do for it?
Speaker 2: Well, we went to Crown, spent the night there. I
Speaker 2: had a nice night, really played Holy moly, golf, had
Speaker 2: a little bit of friendly competition. Let's just put it
Speaker 2: this way. There was some sexual acts up for grabs
Speaker 2: for whoever wins a lot at steak. Really, a couple
Speaker 2: of hole in ones would lead to maybe a hole
Speaker 2: in one, who knows. But yeah, so we're gone. We
Speaker 2: were looking back at old messages and we're like, let's
Speaker 2: reminisce on before we started dating. So she's sitting there
Speaker 2: in the bed and we're going through them, and she
Speaker 2: took it right back. So she went back to the
Speaker 2: start of our Instagram conversation.
Speaker 1: It's hard to get right back. It's a lot of scrolling.
Speaker 2: It was a lot of scrolling, and she got there.
Speaker 2: And let's just say a couple of those messages from me,
Speaker 2: I think I've touched on them. They were thirsty, were
Speaker 2: they like I was sending some serious.
Speaker 1: Like you sending're my.
Speaker 2: Dream girl, You're eleven out of ten, I'm going to
Speaker 2: pick you up. I'll post these on the Facebook group
Speaker 2: if anyone wants to see them. There's some really She goes,
Speaker 2: I'm excited. I think one of them, she says, I go,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna pick you up for drinks on Monday. Let's
Speaker 2: share a bottle of red. And she's like, I don't
Speaker 2: drink red or something. I can't remember exactly word for word,
Speaker 2: but it was really painful to look back on. But
Speaker 2: we're looking at him, we're looking at the time that
Speaker 2: they were sent in the date because you see it obviously.
Speaker 2: And I was like, I was like, let's see what
Speaker 2: I was doing, because that time's a very random time.
Speaker 2: So I've gone into my camera roll. I paid for
Speaker 2: the iCloud Supreme, so I've got it all. I can
Speaker 2: look at photos from like four, five, six, years ago.
Speaker 2: So I scroll out. I'm going through my photos. I look,
Speaker 2: I try, I find the month, find the month, I
Speaker 2: find the time, and I figure out I was on
Speaker 2: the Gold Coast with my mates, having a fun trip
Speaker 2: with the boys that weekend.
Speaker 1: I see, having a boys trip when you sent these
Speaker 1: messages to.
Speaker 2: Jem So I'm looking through them. I'm looking through them,
Speaker 2: and I said, what time was that sentence? She was like, oh,
Speaker 2: it looks like eleven something or whatever time it was.
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh my god, you're kidding. And
Speaker 2: I don't remember the exact time, but it was like
Speaker 2: eleven twenty eight. I sent the messages and at eleven
Speaker 2: thirty there was a photo of me in a booth
Speaker 2: with my mates the huge fish bowl. Just absolutely pissed
Speaker 2: out of my eyelids, just like this with a fishbowl.
Speaker 2: So two minutes before I had taken that photo pissed,
Speaker 2: I was sending Jen thirsty messages.
Speaker 1: We love a drunk text, don't we.
Speaker 2: But it was completely not gonna get me anywhere. She
Speaker 2: was in Melbourne. I was on the Gold Coast.
Speaker 1: See that just shows the levels that you were willing
Speaker 1: to go for for Jen, Like you were so obsessed
Speaker 1: with her that even although you were in different states,
Speaker 1: you were like, I don't care. You're getting a drunk
Speaker 1: text night.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're looking fit in whatever story you're posted. You're
Speaker 2: getting these messages. Someone please lock me up. Not doing well.
Speaker 1: Look on that note, I think it's time to took
Speaker 1: all things drunk texts. Okay, Matt, So you used to
Speaker 1: drunk text. You're now girl friend Jen before you guys
Speaker 1: had even met, and you used to send her heaps
Speaker 1: of drunk messages. But the question that I want to
Speaker 1: ask is why did you drunk text? Like, why do
Speaker 1: we drunk text?
Speaker 2: Well, I think that one was I was quite drunk.
Speaker 2: I'm not going to lie. I'm probably pretty horny throwing
Speaker 2: some feelers out. The hail mary is I like to
Speaker 2: call them. So in American football, hail mary is when
Speaker 2: the quarterback will throw it and just hope it lands.
Speaker 1: So you're sending out a few hail marys.
Speaker 2: Mary's when I used to get drunk and I was single,
Speaker 2: being one of them will land. You know, I'm not
Speaker 2: picking up right now, but she was in a different state.
Speaker 2: I was hoping it landed.
Speaker 1: It landed for the following weekend.
Speaker 2: It eventually landed and that's the point of hail Mary.
Speaker 2: It eventually so, but why would you send a drunk text?
Speaker 1: Well, look, I think we all send drunk texts because
Speaker 1: we have a bit of Dutch courage. We're feeling a
Speaker 1: little bit more confident. We probably think less about the
Speaker 1: ramifications of that text the next day when you're sober,
Speaker 1: So I guess we're maybe less accountable for our act.
Speaker 2: How about the next day when you wake up and
Speaker 2: you see some of the messages you've sent demons? Demons
Speaker 2: just straight swipe to leave.
Speaker 1: I don't even look stop it, so you won't even
Speaker 1: go in to see the chat.
Speaker 2: I never would.
Speaker 1: I'd just feel like that's it doesn't like they're not knowing,
Speaker 1: stress you out even more ignorance. That's not the mindset
Speaker 1: that I have.
Speaker 2: Like I just don't want to know what I've said,
Speaker 2: because I've known I've been in some states and I
Speaker 2: would have sent some real fucked up stuff and just
Speaker 2: delete it. I've got one for you. Yeah, do you
Speaker 2: know when a guy is sending you a hail Mary text?
Speaker 1: What do you mean? Like you're just throwing it out
Speaker 1: there drunk texts as in, like he's trying to get late.
Speaker 2: Do you know when they come through?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Absolutely surely. How do you like a wyd? Are?
Speaker 1: What you're doing is like if someone's throwing out a wyd,
Speaker 1: you know that it's a booty call, right, Like it's
Speaker 1: not even a hey, how you going?
Speaker 2: What guys are sent? Actually sending that.
Speaker 1: Someone sent me a wyd And I was like, I
Speaker 1: literally I remember he sent it to me the week
Speaker 1: prior and then the next week I was out at
Speaker 1: the club and I was like the audacity of you
Speaker 1: to send me a wyd, Like.
Speaker 2: How did you know him? How well did you know?
Speaker 1: He was? Just like he's just like the town player
Speaker 1: and fuck boy, so like it wasn't a surprise to
Speaker 1: get to what you're doing from him. But like I
Speaker 1: was just thinking, like I wonder how many wyds he
Speaker 1: sent out that night, like at least ten, at least
Speaker 1: at a minimum, at a minimum ten. But yeah, I
Speaker 1: think to answer your question personally, for me, I think
Speaker 1: the difference between a nine to fifty nine message and
Speaker 1: a ten o'clock message is massive because I think when
Speaker 1: it ticks over to ten o'clock, it's a booty call.
Speaker 2: Right, you said this before, and I was saying that.
Speaker 2: I think that's still a bit early, kicking around twelve one.
Speaker 1: I think like in general, if someone's messaging you are
Speaker 1: to seven pm on a Friday or a Saturday night,
Speaker 1: you can guarantee they're out drinking with their friends. They're
Speaker 1: not messaging you because they're trying to tea up a day.
Speaker 1: They're messaging you because they're like, I'm out, I want
Speaker 1: to see if you're out, and like let's link up later.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've definitely Yeah, everyone's definitely sent them. I just
Speaker 2: want to know if girls actually know that they're coming
Speaker 2: in hot as a wid text an actual like you
Speaker 2: know what I mean?
Speaker 1: What do you mean?
Speaker 2: No, So, like a guy sends you on, have you
Speaker 2: ever woken up to guys sending him to?
Speaker 1: Absolutely? Yeah, what do you do?
Speaker 2: Just laugh?
Speaker 1: I just don't reply and like that's embarrassing and like
Speaker 1: you're probably gonna look at that in the morning and go, yeah,
Speaker 1: but if you like them then but if you like them,
Speaker 1: then maybe you would reply be like haha, someone had
Speaker 1: a big night last night, you know, like a bit
Speaker 1: of cheekiness. Yeah. I remember, Actually I was seeing this
Speaker 1: guy probably like two years before I met Michael and
Speaker 1: it's actually one that Michael has met a couple of times.
Speaker 1: So Michael is aware of this person who I used
Speaker 1: to date.
Speaker 2: Obviously who you and the guy still civil?
Speaker 1: No, No, we don't talk and we hadn't talked for
Speaker 1: a while. Yeah, but I remember when that guy who
Speaker 1: I used to see found out that I was seeing Michael,
Speaker 1: he then sent me like a twelve o'clock message being like,
Speaker 1: what are you up to? Are you out? And then
Speaker 1: Michael saw them. Yeah, me and Michael were in bed
Speaker 1: and Michael saw the message, and he's like, he knows
Speaker 1: that we're seeing each other, and he hasn't messaged you
Speaker 1: in about six months, and the fact that this is
Speaker 1: a message at midnight that he's sending you when he
Speaker 1: knows that we're seeing each other, it's just playing rude, right, Yeah, So.
Speaker 2: What do you think the meaning behind that would be? Then?
Speaker 1: Well, I don't really know specifically, but I have a
Speaker 1: few theories. The first one would be like, obviously, this
Speaker 1: other guy is kind of like, well, I was seeing
Speaker 1: Anna before Michael, so he's kind of like seeing if
Speaker 1: I'm still open to the idea of him, which I wasn't,
Speaker 1: and I didn't reply, So maybe he was just like
Speaker 1: testing the waters to see like where my head was at,
Speaker 1: and my head was with Michael, and he never got
Speaker 1: a reply again and he got a ghosting.
Speaker 2: Poor guy throw throwing out those text messages. Well, there's
Speaker 2: a lot of reasons.
Speaker 1: I don't know would you do that. Like if you
Speaker 1: were seeing someone like six months ago and then let's
Speaker 1: just say you're single for the argument's sake, So you're
Speaker 1: seeing someone six months ago, and then someone who you've
Speaker 1: met a few times, like a guy, start seeing that.
Speaker 2: Person, wouldn't give a fuck, to be honest, Okay.
Speaker 1: So what would make you send a message like that?
Speaker 2: I don't know, why would you send a message unless
Speaker 2: you were trying to like cook back up with them.
Speaker 2: I don't think i'd give a shit if they were
Speaker 2: seeing someone else.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so maybe he's trying to see Maybe you're.
Speaker 2: Trying to see how serious you are with the other person.
Speaker 2: So yeah, can you have another crack at him?
Speaker 1: Yeah? And I think that's why, Yeah, that happened.
Speaker 2: Okay. So there's a lot of meanings behind sending a
Speaker 2: drunk text. I feel a lot of them would be
Speaker 2: that if you've received a drunk text from someone, they're
Speaker 2: thinking of you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, And like, also, I feel like sometimes I
Speaker 1: reckon that I've sent drunk texts because I maybe feel
Speaker 1: a certain way about someone, but I really have no
Speaker 1: idea if those feelings are reciprocated, and so then I'm
Speaker 1: kind of like, well, I'm not going to say anything.
Speaker 1: But then when I get a little bit tipsy, I'm like,
Speaker 1: fuck it, I'm just gonna like tell them how I
Speaker 1: feel and test the waters and confess all of my
Speaker 1: feelings towards them kind of thing.
Speaker 2: You know, I've read it the next day and you
Speaker 2: got that hangover anxiety hangover from hell. Yeah. This so
Speaker 2: another reason be something reminded you of them. So I
Speaker 2: was I remember New Year's Eve, Jen, someone she used
Speaker 2: to see, texted her, Yeah, actually was something that reminded
Speaker 2: them of her. She didn't reply over sleep because me
Speaker 2: and her were having cute romantic thing. But like, that's
Speaker 2: an ambitious way to slide into someone's like DMS or
Speaker 2: rekindle something I've had.
Speaker 1: That though, have you. Yeah, Like someone will be like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm at this restaurant that we once went to, and
Speaker 1: then they'll be like this reminded me of you, or
Speaker 1: like something like that and it is. It's definitely a
Speaker 1: slide in like and especially if someone's in a relationship,
Speaker 1: it's very like you know what I mean, Like it's
Speaker 1: definitely on that boundary of crossing a line, but it
Speaker 1: also could be super harmless with no malice.
Speaker 2: I don't think it was.
Speaker 1: It wasn't him.
Speaker 2: It was very share of details. They could feel intimidated
Speaker 2: by you and they just can't talk to you sober.
Speaker 2: So I think a lot of girls have felt this.
Speaker 2: Suff messaged me. Have you been intimidated by someone who
Speaker 2: message him while you were drunk and you can talk
Speaker 2: to him while you're sober? Michael, do that to you?
Speaker 1: I mean me and Michael definitely had like a lot
Speaker 1: of drunk messages like back and fall before we actually
Speaker 1: had a first day, Like we would kind of chat
Speaker 1: when he was out and I was out, and then
Speaker 1: we'd like try and kind of meet up, but then
Speaker 1: it wouldn't work out. But I have a question for you.
Speaker 1: Do you think that you can send a drunk text
Speaker 1: and it's just like a genuine mistake, Like it just
Speaker 1: has no meaning behind.
Speaker 2: It, like the wrong person or you used to know,
Speaker 2: like you.
Speaker 1: Send the message maybe because you're bored or like you're
Speaker 1: maybe reaching out to like everyone in your phone book
Speaker 1: who comes up, and like there's literally no meaning behind it.
Speaker 1: So you could send someone a message and I don't know,
Speaker 1: like flame react to something of someone, and then you
Speaker 1: wake up in the morning and you're like, oh, why
Speaker 1: did I do that? Like that's not how I feel
Speaker 1: at all.
Speaker 2: That used to be my Saturday flames.
Speaker 1: To everyone, and that's like giving out flames to the
Speaker 1: holand Melo.
Speaker 2: In Vegas time when I was like ham it. My
Speaker 2: dams were just not well. I have you ever drunk
Speaker 2: texted me?
Speaker 1: Have I drunk texted you in that way?
Speaker 2: But ever drunk texted anything? I think I drunk texted
Speaker 2: you the other day at the racist, didn't I It's
Speaker 2: something I can't remember. We were chatting and it was
Speaker 2: a fucking no.
Speaker 1: I got a message. So Matt was at the races
Speaker 1: the other day and I got this message from these
Speaker 1: two girls and they sent me a message. Let me
Speaker 1: see if I can find my screenshot you screenshot. I
Speaker 1: screenshot at it because it was so good. So it's
Speaker 1: these like two beautiful blonde girls with Matt and then
Speaker 1: it says where are you from? That So I got
Speaker 1: a drunk text recently from that through other people, and
Speaker 1: I was like, that is so hilarious, Like I don't know,
Speaker 1: like we'll put this photo on our Facebook page for everyone.
Speaker 2: Look I look on Wow.
Speaker 1: That looks like his eyes are like not there.
Speaker 2: But that's what endless amounts of champagne due to you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, good champagne, though, very good champagne at the race,
Speaker 1: very good champagne.
Speaker 2: So I haven't drunk texted you, only through someone else.
Speaker 1: Through someone else, You've drunk texted me, But yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I don't think. We don't really drunk text each other.
Speaker 1: Like it's not really a thing. I mean, do you
Speaker 1: drunk text Jen if you're having a boy's night all
Speaker 1: the time? Yeah, And what do you say?
Speaker 2: I can't wait to get home to you.
Speaker 1: Can't wait to snuggle.
Speaker 2: I can't wait to snuggle. I should see what I'm packing.
Speaker 2: It's coming in hot. Do you do that with Michael
Speaker 2: or Michael do that with you?
Speaker 1: Look, I'm if he's on a boy's night and I'm home,
Speaker 1: I kind of try to leave him to his own
Speaker 1: devices because I don't want to be like two overbearing.
Speaker 1: I'm like, we live together, we spend a lot of
Speaker 1: time together. We have like work projects that we're doing together.
Speaker 1: So like I'm going to leave him be, But like,
Speaker 1: the drunk messages that he sends me are so funny.
Speaker 1: He's like, I mean, before we were engaged, I want
Speaker 1: to marry you. I'm going to put a ring on
Speaker 1: that finger. He says, like, I want to have babies
Speaker 1: with you. I can't wait till we have kids. Michael's
Speaker 1: going to kill me.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, threw him straight under the bass. Okay, so
Speaker 2: what's the most cringe drunk message you've ever seen?
Speaker 1: I don't even know. I think I've like mentally blocked
Speaker 1: those out, like you said, Like, I definitely haven't deleted them.
Speaker 1: But in the realm of this, I do remember like
Speaker 1: a moment in time and I think I was nineteen,
Speaker 1: and I've told this story on the podcast. Before my
Speaker 1: first love, the first like proper boyfriend that I had.
Speaker 1: He went to schoolies cheated on me six times in
Speaker 1: seven days. I was a heartbroken. You know, we broke
Speaker 1: up and I remember the moment. It wasn't a drunk text,
Speaker 1: but it was, I mean, it was drunk text. It
Speaker 1: was drunk text. It was drunk calls. It was everything.
Speaker 1: So I was at the bowling alley with all of
Speaker 1: my friends. We were getting a lit and I was
Speaker 1: very drunk, and I had broken up with him and
Speaker 1: I'd gone like no contact, and I was just like,
Speaker 1: I'm cutting you out of my life. I'd been so strong,
Speaker 1: I was so proud of myself, and then I just like,
Speaker 1: you know when you just have one drink too many, yeah,
Speaker 1: and you just tip over to like drunk into like psychotic.
Speaker 2: It's like those tiktoks when it's like the girl's taking
Speaker 2: a sip of the drink and she's like, boyfriend thinks
Speaker 2: he's getting kinky me, but he's getting like muhammad a
Speaker 2: leading me or something like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So, like I literally had one drink too many
Speaker 1: and I was with my friends. I was extremely intoxicated,
Speaker 1: and I remember thinking, it's a Friday night. This motherfucker
Speaker 1: who's cheated on me and broken my heart is out
Speaker 1: Because I think I could see that he was out
Speaker 1: on socials, and I think that was part of the
Speaker 1: part of the tipping process that triggered you. The triggering. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And then I was like, he's going to be cooking
Speaker 1: up with other girls. He's probably going to be sleeping
Speaker 1: with other girls, and I I'm actually ashamed to say this,
Speaker 1: but like we're going to be honest. I started blowing
Speaker 1: off his phone with calls. I think I called him
Speaker 1: like at least nineteen times no answer. No, I think
Speaker 1: he did answer, and then I started yelling at him
Speaker 1: and he hung up on me, and then I proceeded
Speaker 1: to retry and call him. I think he could tell
Speaker 1: I was slurring to the maximum. I think, I like, po,
Speaker 1: what do you mean, Paul Bloke? He cheated on me
Speaker 1: six times and seven.
Speaker 2: Days dog for doing that?
Speaker 1: Yeah, he deserved everything that was coming to him. But
Speaker 1: like at the same time, like because I had been
Speaker 1: so strong, the whole like strong fasab that I was
Speaker 1: putting on came crumbling down, and I was like messaging
Speaker 1: him like answer my calls, do this? Do that? Anyway,
Speaker 1: there was a long.
Speaker 2: Call of call logs and message do you leave voicemails?
Speaker 1: No? Thank god? Fuck was the only thing worse than
Speaker 1: like drunk calling and drunk texting is drunk voicemails. That's
Speaker 1: like a whole new level. But anyway, I woke up
Speaker 1: the next day and I was mortified, like absolutely mortified.
Speaker 1: And the thing is is I wasn't going to call
Speaker 1: him an apologize because I was like, I mean, you
Speaker 1: cheated on me. Fuck you, like you've called to me
Speaker 1: so much trauma. Like my nineteen year old, trusting, you know,
Speaker 1: wholesome self was completely destroyed by this guy. And I
Speaker 1: became like this, like crazy trust issued person who, like
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, was a little unstable. So
Speaker 1: I was like, fuck you. But also I'm not apologizing.
Speaker 2: You deserve that. In all those drunk messages, absolutely had
Speaker 2: it come in. I can't think of the most cringe
Speaker 2: drunk message I've ever sent, but I remember the most
Speaker 2: painful drunk messaging encounter I've ever had. Right, So I
Speaker 2: went out with my mates. Jen went out with her mates.
Speaker 2: This was a little while ago when I lived with
Speaker 2: my mates and she lived by herself. So we've gone out.
Speaker 2: I've gone out, she's gone back home. She's like I'm home.
Speaker 2: We're sending you know, those fiery, those firing messages at
Speaker 2: each other, like I'm like, you better be ready. I'm
Speaker 2: coming in hot. You better get ready for this. It's
Speaker 2: going down. What I get there, I've had a couple
Speaker 2: more shots of tequila, I'm in the ubercoming. She's going
Speaker 2: to be quiet, though, so I'm like, you know, all right,
Speaker 2: she's getting ready. It's all happening now, just in the shower,
Speaker 2: freshening enough. And then I get there and I call her,
Speaker 2: no answer. I text her no answer, call he no answer,
Speaker 2: and I'm out the front really pissed, ready to go.
Speaker 2: I'm like, what's going on? Ring her doorbell, no answer.
Speaker 2: I'm calling her NonStop, throwing rocks at her window, literally
Speaker 2: like I'm out of a rom column, trying to wake
Speaker 2: her up. I'm like, wait, Jen, Jan, get the door.
Speaker 2: I'm throwing all these rocks. Nothing's happening. I'm sitting there.
Speaker 2: I reckon for like twenty minutes, and I'm like, you
Speaker 2: know what I reckon. She's either died, hopefully not, or
Speaker 2: passed out.
Speaker 1: So I was like, okay for the ladder, Oh.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I might. I wasn't too annoyed.
Speaker 1: I was.
Speaker 2: I mean, I was quite annoyed. I was, so I
Speaker 2: was like, damn, what am I gonna do now? So
Speaker 2: I just got an uber went home. Luckily enough, it
Speaker 2: was when I was living with my mates. They were
Speaker 2: coincidentally still up playing NFL Madden, so I sat with them,
Speaker 2: had a couple of drinks with them, and then she
Speaker 2: actually woke up from her passed out state, and I
Speaker 2: then caught an we were back.
Speaker 1: At what time? Is it?
Speaker 2: Five am? Maybe?
Speaker 1: Wow, that's a big night for both of you. Jesus Christ.
Speaker 2: And let's say I got there and we went to bed.
Speaker 2: We're both pretty point, we're both so. But that was
Speaker 2: probably one of the most painful drunk encounters I've had.
Speaker 1: Over That's so annoying because you're like thinking, I'm about
Speaker 1: to get lucky and then it just is an absolute
Speaker 1: let down. It was, but it has a drunk text
Speaker 1: ever worked in your favor on Matt, because I know,
Speaker 1: like you know, when we're younger, we send these like
Speaker 1: drunk texts and like try and hit it. Maybe if
Speaker 1: you were like to a free to show your emotions
Speaker 1: to someone and then it ended up working out, Like
Speaker 1: have do you have a situation like that?
Speaker 2: I only have the obvious when you've sent someone a
Speaker 2: drunk message when you've left and they've come picked you up,
Speaker 2: and like you wouldn't message them.
Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, yeah came to them.
Speaker 2: None have shared my emotions. I don't think.
Speaker 1: Ah, look, I think there's nothing wrong with a good
Speaker 1: drunk text. I think, like if you're single, the other
Speaker 1: person's person is single, Like why not? You know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Like, sometimes it does break down that barrier
Speaker 1: that we hold up so high, and like sometimes we
Speaker 1: are scared to share our emotions. A lot of us
Speaker 1: have been hurt, and like we have walls up, and
Speaker 1: sometimes when we're drunk, the walls come down and we
Speaker 1: start seeing everything in like fairy tales. And it's sometimes
Speaker 1: nice to send one of those.
Speaker 2: Messages and see what happens.
Speaker 1: I see what happens, and roll the dice, you know,
Speaker 1: play the roulette.
Speaker 2: If you're a serial drunk text message like I was
Speaker 2: myself and it's not getting you anywhere. Do we have
Speaker 2: some advice on how people can deal with that?
Speaker 1: Okay, Matt, Look, let's talk about the ways to deal
Speaker 1: with the repercussions of drunk texts next.
Speaker 2: So you reckon, people should enact like me and just
Speaker 2: delete the messages and act like they never happened. What
Speaker 2: do you mean it's a safe way to deal with
Speaker 2: your drunk text I.
Speaker 1: Mean, look, I if they've not cheated on me multiple times,
Speaker 1: I think a good little apology, sorry, I was drunk
Speaker 1: is a really good way to just like dissolve a
Speaker 1: lot of that anxiety instead of it being surrounded by
Speaker 1: that person. So if you were to ever see them
Speaker 1: out again, you're like, holy shit, I have sent them
Speaker 1: numerous drunk text messages and I'm super embarrassed. Like I think,
Speaker 1: sometimes just a sorry, I was really hammered is a
Speaker 1: good way to go about.
Speaker 2: It, or just to laugh it off. Yeah, be like
Speaker 2: ha ha ha, sorry really drunk last night?
Speaker 1: Yeah hahaha, last night was big for me. I hope
Speaker 1: you had a good time.
Speaker 2: By the way, still feel that way.
Speaker 1: Free on the weekend for a day?
Speaker 2: Yeah, by the way, I still feel like that. Oh yeah, obviously,
Speaker 2: just do what I do, Just ignore it completely and
Speaker 2: it never happened. But like you said, those awkward run ins,
Speaker 2: we'll get awkward as it's a small world out there.
Speaker 2: You don't know when you're going to see him next,
Speaker 2: god forbid their work colleague or something.
Speaker 1: It's just too much like that is that is way
Speaker 1: more anxiety? And do you think and I think the
Speaker 1: only thing worse than that is drunk texting an X.
Speaker 1: That's a whole new realm of drunk texting right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like what you did. I've actually never drunk texted
Speaker 2: an X. I don't think because you don't think, I
Speaker 2: don't think. I, like I said, I not that you
Speaker 2: can recall that I've once like block their numbers. The
Speaker 2: other ones I don't really need to deal with.
Speaker 1: Yeah, fair, it's just it's not really.
Speaker 2: But I guess people. Yeah, they obviously have unresolved feelings
Speaker 2: and they were just drunk call their X and it
Speaker 2: all to them.
Speaker 1: Well, I have a story about one of my exes
Speaker 1: drunk texting me via Snapchat. So, funnily enough, since we're
Speaker 1: on this my first love and my first boyfriend, the
Speaker 1: one who cheated on me six times and seven days,
Speaker 1: we've heard a lot about him in this episode.
Speaker 2: This guy gets more airtime than Michael at this point.
Speaker 1: Well, he actually so, I was in a six year relationship,
Speaker 1: and three years into that relationship, I actually got a
Speaker 1: drunk text from him and it was on Snapchat, so
Speaker 1: he was being a bit dodgy, and it was a paragraph,
Speaker 1: and the paragraph basically was saying how much he loved me,
Speaker 1: how he can't believe I'm still in a relationship. He
Speaker 1: thought it was like a thing that was going to
Speaker 1: pass and we'd get back together, and he was like
Speaker 1: telling me how like he like I'm his first love.
Speaker 1: Like I didn't obviously reply because I was like fuck cute,
Speaker 1: still salty. Five years later on, you guys.
Speaker 2: Have had a lot of drunk text messaging to each other.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean when I was drunk texting him, it
Speaker 1: was a very it was very fresh, like I was.
Speaker 1: I was very fragile at that point, but this was
Speaker 1: like I was like very settled in living with another
Speaker 1: boyfriend when I got that message from him. So it
Speaker 1: was a bit out of the blue for me, and
Speaker 1: I was a bit like taken aback. It was very unexpected.
Speaker 1: But look, Matt, let's talk about why X's drunk text us.
Speaker 2: All right, So one of the main ones would probably
Speaker 2: be there looking for an ego boost. They might need
Speaker 2: someone that, like, you know, you're an easy target if
Speaker 2: you're like an ex, you know, you need a target
Speaker 2: for them to pick up and try and get that
Speaker 2: affection from and those words of affirmation that make him
Speaker 2: feel good.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's just getting that validation. Like obviously, if
Speaker 1: you were in a relationship with that person, there was
Speaker 1: a time where you were both in love you both
Speaker 1: would validate each other, and sometimes when you're single and alone,
Speaker 1: you do miss that validation. So I think that's one
Speaker 1: of the main reasons why you might be getting a
Speaker 1: text from.
Speaker 2: They could also just have unresolved feelings, like I said before,
Speaker 2: like a drunk person hasn't like you know, they haven't
Speaker 2: worked through their feelings like as a sober person. So
Speaker 2: when they're drunk, all those emotions have come to the
Speaker 2: surface and they just read it unload on you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I mean, I think the last reason why
Speaker 1: your exes texting is maybe they just want to get laid.
Speaker 1: Maybe they're like, the sex was really good. Should we
Speaker 1: have one last hurrah?
Speaker 2: And maybe that's that's such a certain easy way, and
Speaker 2: if you're up for it, take it because you know
Speaker 2: the sex was good, don't turn down good sex.
Speaker 1: Do you reckon that an ex is ever messaging you
Speaker 1: when they're drunk because they're wanting to get back together, Yeah.
Speaker 2: I reckon, But then they're drunk. But then is it
Speaker 2: true that, like sober thoughts are a drunk voice.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think sometimes yes, and then in
Speaker 1: other times no.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think those fleeting like one second thoughts that you
Speaker 1: might have, and then if you're drunk, you might hold
Speaker 1: on to it and be like, let's send.
Speaker 2: To say that when you're drunk, you get really obsessed
Speaker 2: her with thoughts that when you're sober you probably wouldn't
Speaker 2: care about.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, Like I think sometimes people might hold on
Speaker 1: to drunk text that. Yeah, like if a guy was
Speaker 1: to message them and be like, oh my god, you're
Speaker 1: the one. You're amazing, Like you know, my ex said
Speaker 1: to me, you're the one that got away. If I
Speaker 1: hold onto that like, well.
Speaker 2: I did say to Jen that I was obsessed with
Speaker 2: her and look here we are. I don't know, maybe some.
Speaker 1: Truth in it, maybe, Well look, I think it's that
Speaker 1: time of the show that you guys have all been
Speaker 1: waiting for. Let's jump into where's our head? App? Okay, Matt, So,
Speaker 1: Lily has said I have been chatting to a guy
Speaker 1: and he usually texts me on a weekend around ten
Speaker 1: till eleven pm when he has been drinking. Is he
Speaker 1: interested in me and just needs the confidence from drinking
Speaker 1: or is it just a late night booty call.
Speaker 2: Do you want to break it to Lily or do
Speaker 2: you want me to Anna?
Speaker 1: Well, I mean you can tell it from a male perspective,
Speaker 1: and then I'll give my opinion.
Speaker 2: He doesn't message you all week and then messages you
Speaker 2: then to meet up? Is that what how she means?
Speaker 1: It sounds like that he usually texts me on the weekend.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're a booty call Lily.
Speaker 1: That does sound a bit booty call ish. Although I
Speaker 1: just want to say one thing. When Michael and I
Speaker 1: first met and we hadn't gone on a first date,
Speaker 1: I did get a couple of like weekend messages from him,
Speaker 1: like around nine o'clock or something, and I think it
Speaker 1: was because I was on his mind. So just because
Speaker 1: someone is giving you those booty call messages, it doesn't
Speaker 1: necessarily have to be like doom and gloom. It could
Speaker 1: mean like, you know, set your boundary and be like,
Speaker 1: take me on a date. That's what I said. I
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, I'm busy tonight, but like you can
Speaker 1: take me on a date during the week if you're free.
Speaker 2: And maybe he's just not a really a good chat.
Speaker 2: He doesn't have good chats, and when he's been drinking,
Speaker 2: that's when he feels like he does and he's actually got,
Speaker 2: like said, the confidence to message. Yeah, but from me,
Speaker 2: my personal opinion ten to eleven's late.
Speaker 1: It's probably a booty co but like it doesn't mean
Speaker 1: it's the end, is what we're saying.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so maybe ask him, Yeah, just take you on
Speaker 2: a date during the week and see how he is.
Speaker 2: He's messaged him during the week and see if he replies.
Speaker 2: If he leaves you on scene, then you know where
Speaker 2: he said, don't talk to me again.
Speaker 1: Okay, So Claire has said I always send the most
Speaker 1: embarrassing drunk messages on a night out and have anxiety
Speaker 1: the next day waiting for people to either respond or
Speaker 1: laugh it off. How can I stop self sabotaging like.
Speaker 2: This, um, turn your plane onto aeroplane mode, I reckon
Speaker 2: while you're out? There should be you know what, there
Speaker 2: actually should be Like you know how it's got all
Speaker 2: those settings on your phone like dn D, like you know, sleep, work,
Speaker 2: all that sort of stuff. There should be one that's
Speaker 2: like don't text your ex. Well yeah yeah, that drinking
Speaker 2: mode and it like it filters your messages.
Speaker 1: For you and it would be so good.
Speaker 2: And why hasn't Apple thought of that? Imagine you go,
Speaker 2: all right, I'm.
Speaker 1: Going because think about it. If you're drunk enough you'll
Speaker 1: be like, fucking, let's turn this ship off.
Speaker 2: But you have to fully there's a full like step
Speaker 2: by step.
Speaker 1: You'd probably do it if you're drunk, if you're like,
Speaker 1: let's go.
Speaker 2: Through the process. Let's go through, but that would be unreal.
Speaker 2: So it actually warns you or it holds our message
Speaker 2: till the next day and then you get to send
Speaker 2: the message, because that's that would be nice if it
Speaker 2: did that, but if another way would probably just be
Speaker 2: I don't know, because it's who she's messaging. It's not
Speaker 2: like she's messaging a single person. She's messaging a bunch
Speaker 2: of people.
Speaker 1: Look clear, we've all been there, We've all sent drunk
Speaker 1: text messages, and look, I think it's a way that
Speaker 1: you deal with it the next day, just laugh it off.
Speaker 1: And I don't know, Like I think I got to
Speaker 1: a point where I would send a few drunk text
Speaker 1: messages here and there. But then you just have to
Speaker 1: develop that self control where you're like, I don't care
Speaker 1: what time it is, I don't care if I'm alone,
Speaker 1: I refuse to text someone and just start building up
Speaker 1: that self control. Like obviously it's not full proof. Sometimes
Speaker 1: you know, drunk, yeah, people slip through the cracks and
Speaker 1: you accidentally send that risk a message. But in general,
Speaker 1: I think it's just about.
Speaker 2: You know, maybe block people that you don't want to
Speaker 2: send the messages too.
Speaker 1: Maybe. Look, we can't block everyone, like the ones.
Speaker 2: Where it's really going to fuck your life up, you know,
Speaker 2: like your ex or your person you're chatting to at
Speaker 2: the time.
Speaker 1: I guess I remember my ex who I used to
Speaker 1: drunk text a lot. I literally changed his name on
Speaker 1: my phone to do not message, and then there was
Speaker 1: like the big cross, you know, the emoji cross, and
Speaker 1: then like I had a red flag as well.
Speaker 2: That doesn't always work. My best friend in old roommate, Joseph,
Speaker 2: he's now dating his boss's daughter. Mao. So you've met them. Yeah,
Speaker 2: she is still saved in his phone. It's don't be stupid,
Speaker 2: So that's undrude. Yeah, so he's saved for us, don't
Speaker 2: be stupid. So when he got drunk to not message
Speaker 2: her because it's his boss's daughter. Now they're dating, and
Speaker 2: because I remember I was sitting with him.
Speaker 1: On the now he's about to inherit that company, Yeah.
Speaker 2: He's yeah, So I literally sitting on the pouch and
Speaker 2: his phone pops up was like, don't be stupid, and
Speaker 2: I was like, who the fuck's messaging you don't be stupid?
Speaker 2: And he goes, it's mal.
Speaker 1: That's hilarious that he's kept it. I love that.
Speaker 2: Yeah that might work for some people, but for him
Speaker 2: it didn't work. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Look, good luck to you. We know how challenging it
Speaker 1: can be.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Just own them. I just you know what, Just
Speaker 2: own them, Delete them, cutting out your life. Act like
Speaker 2: they never happened.
Speaker 1: Either one works, live in fantasy lambs like back here.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's all we've got time for today.
Speaker 1: Make sure you follow our Facebook page. We are keeping
Speaker 1: you guys up to date with episodes. You guys are
Speaker 1: getting way more involved in the process, and we are
Speaker 1: loving seeing our Facebook group expand make sure you follow
Speaker 1: us on socials that's Where's your head at pod and
Speaker 1: make sure you give us a five star review on iTunes,
Speaker 1: on Apple Music, on Spotify, wherever you listen to our show.
Speaker 1: And thank you for sharing with your friends. Guys. We
Speaker 1: really appreciate you. We love our growing and expanding family,
Speaker 1: and until next time, bye, love Hi,