WEBVTT - Maybe. Just Maybe With Carly Taylor

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<v Speaker 1>Have everyone. It's Carly Taylor here for this week's Mojo Monday.

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<v Speaker 1>So I'm going to start with a story today, and

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<v Speaker 1>you may have heard it before, but even if you have,

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<v Speaker 1>try and listen to the message behind it. So here

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<v Speaker 1>it goes. There once was a Chinese farmer and one

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<v Speaker 1>day his horse ran away, and all the neighbors came

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<v Speaker 1>by and said, oh, that's such bad luck, and the

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<v Speaker 1>farmer replied maybe. The next day the horse returned, bringing

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<v Speaker 1>with it several wild horses, and all the neighbors came

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<v Speaker 1>back and they said, oh, that's such good luck, and

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<v Speaker 1>the farmer said, yeah, maybe. And the following day his

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<v Speaker 1>son tried to tame one of the wild horses. So

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<v Speaker 1>he went for a ride and he was thrown off

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<v Speaker 1>and he broke his legs, and the neighbors came around

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<v Speaker 1>and said, oh, that's such bad luck luck, and the

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<v Speaker 1>farmer replied maybe. Then a week later a war broke

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<v Speaker 1>out and the army came through the village conscripting all

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<v Speaker 1>the young men for war. That his son, who had

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<v Speaker 1>the broken legs, was left behind. And the neighbor said, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>that is such good luck. And the farmer replied maybe,

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<v Speaker 1>And I love this story because what it does is

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<v Speaker 1>it highlights and challenges something that we all do. We

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<v Speaker 1>really rush, without realizing it, to label our experiences as

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<v Speaker 1>good or bad or this shouldn't be happening to me,

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<v Speaker 1>or this is amazing or this is terrible. And the

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<v Speaker 1>moment we label something, we often attach the whole story

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<v Speaker 1>to it. So it's like we predict what the future

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<v Speaker 1>is going to bring, or we decide what it means

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<v Speaker 1>about us and our lives, or we react as if

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<v Speaker 1>we already know how it's all going to turn out.

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<v Speaker 1>But the truth is, we don't. That situation that you're

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<v Speaker 1>frustrated or upset or hurt or embarrassed about right now,

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<v Speaker 1>it's probably not the full story. And equally, the thing

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<v Speaker 1>that you're clinging to, like the outcome you're desperate to

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<v Speaker 1>hold on to, that might not turn out the way

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<v Speaker 1>you expect it either, because life is far less linear

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<v Speaker 1>than we like to believe. Our lives don't move in

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<v Speaker 1>a straight line. It's like navigating a ship. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>ship doesn't get from A to B in a straight line.

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<v Speaker 1>It's more like a zigzag. And sometimes things are calm

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<v Speaker 1>and sometimes they're rough, and sometimes unexpected things happen, and

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<v Speaker 1>from a psychological perspective, this links closely to what we

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<v Speaker 1>call cognitive fusion, when we get hooked by our thoughts

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<v Speaker 1>and we treat them as facts. This is bad, this

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<v Speaker 1>is unfair, This means something's gone wrong, and from that

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<v Speaker 1>place we react quickly and often emotionally. But the question

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<v Speaker 1>is what is the truth here, because we actually don't know. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>there are facts about what's happening, but we don't know

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<v Speaker 1>how anything is really going to play out. But we

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<v Speaker 1>act like we think we do, and we talk in

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<v Speaker 1>these absolutes. So what the farmer shows us is something

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<v Speaker 1>very different, a pause, a space between the event and

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<v Speaker 1>then the meaning that we give it. So maybe it's

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<v Speaker 1>not passive or indifferent. It's actually open. So it doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>mean that you won't feel hurt or frustrated or disappointed

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<v Speaker 1>or excited, because of course you will. But it's about

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<v Speaker 1>holding these feelings a little more lightly. It's about recognizing

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<v Speaker 1>that your first interpretation is not always the final one.

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<v Speaker 1>So this week I invite you to try something really simple.

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<v Speaker 1>The next time something happens and you feel yourself jumping

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<v Speaker 1>to a conclusion or labeling the experience like it's a disaster.

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<v Speaker 1>Just notice that reaction and then pause and quietly say

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<v Speaker 1>to yourself, maybe maybe this is bad, maybe this is good,

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<v Speaker 1>or maybe it's too early to tell. Because when you

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<v Speaker 1>stop trying to control the narrative too quickly, you give

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<v Speaker 1>yourself something far more useful. You give yourself perspective and

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<v Speaker 1>flexibility and the ability to respond rather than react, and

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<v Speaker 1>that could make a huge difference to what you do next.

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<v Speaker 1>So have a great week everyone, and I'll catch you

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<v Speaker 1>next week. Thea