1
00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:03,920
Speaker 1: This podcast is recorded on gadigal Land, Always was, always

2
00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:13,560
Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land. Heyti exigou and I'm sa and

3
00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:16,000
Speaker 1: we'll have two broke checks to show that shares life

4
00:00:16,079 --> 00:00:18,400
Speaker 1: lessons and tips to make you richie in life. And

5
00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:22,599
Speaker 1: today we're talking about the things we forget are normal. Yeah,

6
00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:25,320
Speaker 1: there was a video on this topic that went absolutely viral,

7
00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:28,240
Speaker 1: and Sal and I wanted to share our own little

8
00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:31,600
Speaker 1: tidbits and things that we forget are normal. But before

9
00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:34,440
Speaker 1: we get into the episode, we have to talk about

10
00:00:34,479 --> 00:00:38,200
Speaker 1: our obsessions. So what are you obsessed with?

11
00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:42,839
Speaker 2: Sally? My obsession of the week is the latest season

12
00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:45,760
Speaker 2: of Queer Eye. Have you seen it? I have it?

13
00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:48,080
Speaker 2: But it's got the new guy, right, Yeah, the new

14
00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:54,520
Speaker 2: interior design expert, Jeremiah. And I always loved Bobby. I

15
00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:56,840
Speaker 2: love them all, but I did really love Bobby, so

16
00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:59,400
Speaker 2: I was really sad to see him leave, and you know,

17
00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:02,680
Speaker 2: was wondering how Jeremiah was going to come in and

18
00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:06,200
Speaker 2: you know how the dynamics would changed. I'm obsessed. I

19
00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:09,200
Speaker 2: honestly think nobody could replace Bobby in my heart. But

20
00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:12,440
Speaker 2: I do think that out of all of the cast members,

21
00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:14,880
Speaker 2: I relate to Jeremiah the most.

22
00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:22,080
Speaker 1: It's that great style too. Yeah, they are like, we're.

23
00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:24,760
Speaker 2: Going to talk about the air lephone, and I think

24
00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:27,640
Speaker 2: it's cinecute, and I think it's I think it's gaming.

25
00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:31,960
Speaker 2: But I just in the current current climate, there's lots

26
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,920
Speaker 2: of bad things happening in the world, lots of things

27
00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:36,880
Speaker 2: to make us stressed. And if you need something to

28
00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:39,959
Speaker 2: remind you that there is good in the world, put

29
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:40,840
Speaker 2: on queer eye.

30
00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:43,440
Speaker 1: That's such a nice sentiment. I love that.

31
00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:44,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's your obsession?

32
00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:46,960
Speaker 1: My obsession of the week is a post I saw

33
00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:51,440
Speaker 1: from Tash invest and it's an entire spreadsheet of high

34
00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:55,880
Speaker 1: interest savings accounts. It's like a cheat sheet of bank

35
00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:58,280
Speaker 1: accounts to find which is the best one to get

36
00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:02,840
Speaker 1: the most interest on your savings. Wow, it's literally free.

37
00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:05,840
Speaker 1: She found it on Reddit and I'll put a link

38
00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:09,040
Speaker 1: in our bio to it and in the description. So

39
00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:11,320
Speaker 1: what it is is you can open it up and

40
00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:14,280
Speaker 1: it compares all the different accounts from banks, and it

41
00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:17,680
Speaker 1: also has a tab of the requirements, So if you

42
00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:20,240
Speaker 1: need to be within a certain age bracket, if you

43
00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:23,240
Speaker 1: need to save a certain amount to earn max, you

44
00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:25,760
Speaker 1: can on the interest. So it compares the minimum interest

45
00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:28,359
Speaker 1: you can get and the maximum interest you can get.

46
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:32,080
Speaker 1: And we often get questions about what's the best bank

47
00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:35,160
Speaker 1: account to get the highest interest on your savings, and

48
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:38,840
Speaker 1: we can't recommend because it borders financial advice. But this

49
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:40,640
Speaker 1: is such a great way to do it because you

50
00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:45,320
Speaker 1: can just compare it yourself into your own kind of situation.

51
00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:47,760
Speaker 1: So whatever your age is, whatever your income is, whatever

52
00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:50,080
Speaker 1: you're planning on saving. I just think this is like

53
00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:52,920
Speaker 1: the best way to figure it out and it's just

54
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:55,359
Speaker 1: such a good hack. So yeah, full credit to Tash

55
00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:58,079
Speaker 1: and best for that one. I didn't what a sligh Yeah.

56
00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:00,640
Speaker 2: I literally was having a conversation with Chris last night

57
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,480
Speaker 2: about how I want to do some research and.

58
00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:04,840
Speaker 1: I'll send you a link by yeah Switch.

59
00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:07,120
Speaker 2: I was like, it's time, it's time to switch.

60
00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:10,560
Speaker 1: It's time, it's time. Yeah, all right, shall we get

61
00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:12,920
Speaker 1: into the things that we forget are normal? Let's do it.

62
00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:21,400
Speaker 2: My first thing that we forget is normal is feeling

63
00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:26,840
Speaker 2: behind in life because if you're in your late twenties

64
00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:31,760
Speaker 2: or early thirties, especially your social media feed is very

65
00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:36,240
Speaker 2: likely and onslaught of people getting engaged, people getting married,

66
00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:40,680
Speaker 2: having children, buying property, having amazing highlights in their career promotions.

67
00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:44,880
Speaker 2: That's fabulous. We love people celebrating their wins and achieving

68
00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:49,040
Speaker 2: milestones in their life. But the downside of this is

69
00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:51,160
Speaker 2: that it can often make us feel like we are

70
00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:54,600
Speaker 2: lesser than or that we haven't achieved everything that we

71
00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:57,119
Speaker 2: thought that we would buy a certain age, and we're

72
00:03:57,120 --> 00:04:00,720
Speaker 2: constantly comparing ourselves to other people. I think this is

73
00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:03,160
Speaker 2: a very common thing that happens as we enter our

74
00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:06,320
Speaker 2: satin return, that period between you know, sort of twenty

75
00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:09,920
Speaker 2: seven and thirty, and you think, this isn't where I

76
00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:11,480
Speaker 2: thought I would be, But.

77
00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:12,640
Speaker 1: No one is, isn't it.

78
00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:16,400
Speaker 2: The issue is, though, if you are always feeling like

79
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:20,880
Speaker 2: you're behind in life, you're focusing on the past and

80
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:23,680
Speaker 2: the future and not the present. So I just want

81
00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:26,480
Speaker 2: to say it's totally normal. But I also think that

82
00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:29,760
Speaker 2: there are some reminders that we should all keep in

83
00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:33,400
Speaker 2: mind if you are feeling like you're behind in life.

84
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:36,320
Speaker 2: So reminders, if you feel like you're behind in life,

85
00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:42,240
Speaker 2: you physically can't be behind in your own life because

86
00:04:42,279 --> 00:04:45,440
Speaker 2: it's your life and you are exactly where you were

87
00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:48,839
Speaker 2: meant to be, like on your path in life, there

88
00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:50,560
Speaker 2: is nobody in front of you.

89
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:51,599
Speaker 1: Or behind you.

90
00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:58,599
Speaker 2: It's just you, So that's physically impossible. Secondly, you're only

91
00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:02,320
Speaker 2: behind in life if you're can yourself to other people.

92
00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:07,320
Speaker 2: And I think that is completely normal, especially in today's

93
00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:10,200
Speaker 2: day and age, when we are looking into other people's

94
00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:13,080
Speaker 2: lives so much more than what we would have been previously.

95
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:17,600
Speaker 2: But everybody is on their own journey, and people are

96
00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:21,400
Speaker 2: sharing the highlights, the highlight reel on social media and

97
00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:24,119
Speaker 2: even with your friends, like, you don't know the things

98
00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:26,320
Speaker 2: that they are going through, all the things that they're

99
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:29,000
Speaker 2: telling themselves in their head, or all the mistakes that

100
00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:31,279
Speaker 2: they've made to get to the thing that they've achieved,

101
00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:35,040
Speaker 2: even like with some of the closest people in your life,

102
00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:38,840
Speaker 2: so you're never getting the full picture of what somebody

103
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:41,719
Speaker 2: has gone through to get to where they are in life. Also,

104
00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:44,800
Speaker 2: stop comparing yourself to your parents. I think that's a

105
00:05:44,839 --> 00:05:49,600
Speaker 2: big thing that people in our generation do, because if

106
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:51,480
Speaker 2: you look at where your parents were when they were

107
00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:54,080
Speaker 2: thirty in comparison to where you might be in your

108
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:58,120
Speaker 2: late twenties and early thirties, it's probably very very different.

109
00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:02,839
Speaker 2: But we are living in completely different circumstances. To what

110
00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:06,240
Speaker 2: our parents were. And in some ways that can be

111
00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:08,440
Speaker 2: a frustrating thing, but in other ways that can be

112
00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:11,560
Speaker 2: a really liberating thing. If anything, I think that we

113
00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:15,640
Speaker 2: have so much more choice and that should be normalized

114
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:20,279
Speaker 2: and celebrated. But also it is harder than ever to

115
00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:23,479
Speaker 2: be a thirty year old in Australia right now, and

116
00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:26,599
Speaker 2: I want to play a clip to explain why.

117
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,200
Speaker 3: Is the hardest it's ever been for a thirty year

118
00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:31,799
Speaker 3: old in illustrata in the straight's history. It is true

119
00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:33,680
Speaker 3: thirty roles are going to be less well off than

120
00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:37,080
Speaker 3: their parents are. That's a fact. It's a fact that

121
00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:40,400
Speaker 3: when I was thirty, the house cost me three times

122
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:44,080
Speaker 3: my salary. Now eight times plus for a thirty year

123
00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:45,600
Speaker 3: old is what it's going to cost you to get

124
00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:49,320
Speaker 3: into the housing market. It's true that hex has doubled

125
00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:53,280
Speaker 3: in the last fifteen years, right, doubled from a fifteen

126
00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:55,920
Speaker 3: thousand dollar bill to a thirty thousand dollar bill. It's

127
00:06:56,040 --> 00:07:00,120
Speaker 3: true that a baby boomer paid half the tax at

128
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,120
Speaker 3: a thirty year old pays now when they were thirty

129
00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:05,800
Speaker 3: years of age. So the reality is it is extremely

130
00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:09,600
Speaker 3: difficult to be a thirty year old in Australia right now.

131
00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:10,679
Speaker 1: Vindication.

132
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,560
Speaker 2: That clip is from the Grow and Transfer. By the way,

133
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,000
Speaker 2: we'll put a link in the show notes so you

134
00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:19,400
Speaker 2: can have a listen to it yourself. A bit black. No,

135
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:23,440
Speaker 2: another reminder, thank you, one more done. But I'm not

136
00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:28,400
Speaker 2: sharing that to make anybody feel depressed or helpless or hopeless,

137
00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:31,320
Speaker 2: but more to normalize the things that we are going

138
00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:34,160
Speaker 2: through as young people in Australia, and that if you

139
00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:37,200
Speaker 2: are looking at where your parents were in comparison to

140
00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:40,680
Speaker 2: where you are now, that it is completely different, and

141
00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:44,480
Speaker 2: to give yourself a little bit of grace and forgiveness

142
00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,800
Speaker 2: that maybe you haven't achieved all the things that they have,

143
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:48,480
Speaker 2: and that your life is going to look.

144
00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:52,120
Speaker 1: Completely different theirs. I love that. And can I just

145
00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:56,640
Speaker 1: say I am so happy that half of the things

146
00:07:56,680 --> 00:08:00,480
Speaker 1: that I thought I would have or be at in

147
00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:03,680
Speaker 1: my life at a certain age, I'm so glad half

148
00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:06,800
Speaker 1: of those didn't even happen, right Like, I'm so happy

149
00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:09,480
Speaker 1: that half the shit but that I wanted when I

150
00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:11,280
Speaker 1: was twenty one, or when I was twenty three, or

151
00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:13,600
Speaker 1: when I was twenty five that I thought I would

152
00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:17,000
Speaker 1: have or be at, I'm so fucking glad that I'm

153
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:21,720
Speaker 1: not Yeah, because everything that is supposed to happen in

154
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:25,080
Speaker 1: your life will and you'll end up where you're supposed

155
00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:27,920
Speaker 1: to be, and you'll look back at like the most

156
00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:30,920
Speaker 1: fucked breakup you've ever had, and you'll be like, if

157
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,800
Speaker 1: that didn't happen, then I wouldn't have moved here, and

158
00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:36,960
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have met my best friends or my partner,

159
00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:40,000
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have gotten my dream job or whatever. It

160
00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:43,680
Speaker 1: is like the roadmap of your life will lead you

161
00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:46,680
Speaker 1: to where you're meant to be, and like, I think

162
00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:49,120
Speaker 1: having faith in that is like one of the best

163
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:51,959
Speaker 1: things you can do. My next thing that we forget

164
00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:55,400
Speaker 1: is normal is outgrowing friendships, not having a best friend,

165
00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:58,000
Speaker 1: and not having a friendship group. So according to a

166
00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:02,760
Speaker 1: twenty fifteen study, people social circles peak in size around

167
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:05,720
Speaker 1: the age of twenty five, and then they begin to

168
00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:09,360
Speaker 1: get smaller as responsibilities pile up. And I think this

169
00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:12,720
Speaker 1: is so like when I analyze my own life, I

170
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:15,360
Speaker 1: was like, yep, that checks out. Because on top of that,

171
00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:19,520
Speaker 1: women lose more friends around that time than men. And

172
00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,480
Speaker 1: we do discuss this a lot in our book, Finding

173
00:09:22,559 --> 00:09:25,000
Speaker 1: Your People, but I really wanted to include it in

174
00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:28,200
Speaker 1: this episode as well, after the response we got on

175
00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:31,640
Speaker 1: an episode a few weeks back, about two weeks back

176
00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:34,439
Speaker 1: with gem and we shared the stat that ninety one

177
00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:38,439
Speaker 1: percent of people no longer call a best friend their

178
00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:42,280
Speaker 1: best friend anymore, because outgrowing friendships is just such a

179
00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:47,120
Speaker 1: normal part of life and whether it's like incredibly heartbreaking

180
00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:49,640
Speaker 1: and it's like a friendship breakup or it's just a fizzle,

181
00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:53,360
Speaker 1: like these things happen, And for so much of my

182
00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:57,840
Speaker 1: life I really put a value on how many friends

183
00:09:57,880 --> 00:09:59,959
Speaker 1: I had or whether or not I had a best friend,

184
00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:04,560
Speaker 1: or you know, how much my social life was busy,

185
00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:08,360
Speaker 1: and if it wasn't, I felt really lesser then, and

186
00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:11,080
Speaker 1: I felt like it was such a reflection on me,

187
00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:16,360
Speaker 1: and it's just not the case. And especially even like

188
00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:19,760
Speaker 1: having a friendship group, like that's not even the most

189
00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:22,319
Speaker 1: positive thing that can happen, Like friendship groups can be

190
00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:27,239
Speaker 1: incredibly toxic that you can end up not being an individual,

191
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,360
Speaker 1: not being able to spend time on your own and

192
00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:32,920
Speaker 1: not having like an individual thought and just being like

193
00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:35,319
Speaker 1: what would the group do? Or we do this, or

194
00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:37,240
Speaker 1: we don't really know them so we won't go to that,

195
00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:40,600
Speaker 1: or you know, we're gonna go to brunch on Saturday,

196
00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:42,360
Speaker 1: but we can do what you want to do after.

197
00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:47,120
Speaker 1: Like it just you stop being who you are sometimes. Yeah,

198
00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:49,280
Speaker 1: it's called group think. It's like a psychological thing we

199
00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:53,160
Speaker 1: talk about in the book highly recommend and that is

200
00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:56,760
Speaker 1: something that it is normal to not have those things sometimes,

201
00:10:56,800 --> 00:11:00,439
Speaker 1: and it's better to not have those things, better to

202
00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:03,439
Speaker 1: not have a toxic friend or a toxic friendship group.

203
00:11:03,679 --> 00:11:07,160
Speaker 1: And there is this really popular saying that can keep

204
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,640
Speaker 1: you comfort if you do relate to that, and it's

205
00:11:09,679 --> 00:11:13,000
Speaker 1: that if you're not outgrowing friendships, you're not growing up.

206
00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:16,720
Speaker 1: You need to be developing your values. You need to

207
00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:20,160
Speaker 1: be developing yourself as your own little character and human,

208
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:24,839
Speaker 1: and that part of that is outgrowing friendships. And while

209
00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:27,360
Speaker 1: this does tend to happen once you leave high school,

210
00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:30,080
Speaker 1: it's going to happen in your twenties and your thirties

211
00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:33,280
Speaker 1: and your forties and so on and so forth. That

212
00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:36,640
Speaker 1: having a small group of friends or having one friend,

213
00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:38,080
Speaker 1: that's okay.

214
00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:41,200
Speaker 2: It can be hard to go through, but it's a

215
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:42,480
Speaker 2: really comforting reminder.

216
00:11:42,679 --> 00:11:46,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, And the second you accept that, I promise you

217
00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:48,520
Speaker 1: is the second that you will actually find the most

218
00:11:48,559 --> 00:11:51,840
Speaker 1: fruitful friendships of your life. The second that you're actually

219
00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:54,120
Speaker 1: okay with being on your own and being your own

220
00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:56,520
Speaker 1: best friend is when you will find the friendships that

221
00:11:56,559 --> 00:11:57,920
Speaker 1: you will have for the rest of your life.

222
00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:00,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's when you're not going to settle for anything

223
00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:05,360
Speaker 2: exactly like less. My next thing that we forget is

224
00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:13,000
Speaker 2: normal is not enjoying having fun. Oh over the break,

225
00:12:13,679 --> 00:12:18,680
Speaker 2: did you see that TikTok from Molly May that went

226
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:22,840
Speaker 2: viral of her saying I just don't think I like

227
00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:23,559
Speaker 2: having fun.

228
00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:25,440
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.

229
00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:28,880
Speaker 2: And she was talking about how when she goes on

230
00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:32,119
Speaker 2: a big night out and you know, she's having drinks

231
00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:35,080
Speaker 2: and hanging out with a big group of people and

232
00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:38,920
Speaker 2: doing all these things that are fun and considered fun. Yeah,

233
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:43,960
Speaker 2: in quotations, she's realized that she actually wasn't having fun

234
00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:48,680
Speaker 2: at all, and she doesn't like having fun. The things

235
00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:53,480
Speaker 2: that she enjoys doing that are considered not fun or boring.

236
00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:55,720
Speaker 2: That's how she likes to spend her time.

237
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,400
Speaker 1: Fun looks different to everyone.

238
00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:00,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't have to like the things that are

239
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:03,720
Speaker 2: typically associated with having fun. If you like to go

240
00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:06,319
Speaker 2: out and you like to drink and have a night

241
00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:09,240
Speaker 2: out with the girlies and be loud and larry and

242
00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:10,120
Speaker 2: you find that fun.

243
00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:11,200
Speaker 1: That's fabulous.

244
00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:14,840
Speaker 2: Same yeah, but also, but also if you like to

245
00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:18,000
Speaker 2: snuggle up in bed with a good book and go

246
00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:20,360
Speaker 2: to bed at nine pm and then wake up the

247
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:23,480
Speaker 2: next morning and get a coffee and go to the markets,

248
00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:27,160
Speaker 2: and you find that fun, that's also fabulous. Yeah. A

249
00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:29,160
Speaker 2: lot of the time, if you say, oh, I'm not

250
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:31,040
Speaker 2: going to go out, I want to stay in, or

251
00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:33,400
Speaker 2: people ask what are you doing on the weekend and

252
00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:35,240
Speaker 2: you say, oh, I'm just going to stay at home

253
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:38,360
Speaker 2: and I'm going to clean my apartment and watch Drag Race,

254
00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:41,400
Speaker 2: or I'm not going to drink tonight. I'll probably head

255
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:43,680
Speaker 2: off after this, and people like, oh, you're no fun

256
00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:47,800
Speaker 2: lighting up have some fun. That can be really frustrating.

257
00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:50,400
Speaker 2: You can also be sitting there being like, wait, am

258
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:51,040
Speaker 2: I not fun?

259
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:54,960
Speaker 1: Like? Am I boring? Yeah? Second guessing yourself, especially if.

260
00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:57,000
Speaker 2: You were younger and you did enjoy doing those things

261
00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:58,800
Speaker 2: and now you feel like you've grown out of it

262
00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:01,440
Speaker 2: a little bit. You're like, what has happened?

263
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:02,080
Speaker 1: Like?

264
00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,520
Speaker 2: Am I not fun anymore? Are people going to think

265
00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:08,959
Speaker 2: I'm boring? And the right friends won't think that you're boring,

266
00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:11,400
Speaker 2: and I think that's a completely normal part of life

267
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:14,000
Speaker 2: to grow out of things and even for these things

268
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:14,679
Speaker 2: to fluctuate.

269
00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:16,600
Speaker 1: Yes, that's exactly what I was going to say. Like,

270
00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:19,200
Speaker 1: there are periods of my life that I'm like such

271
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:20,120
Speaker 1: a social butterfly.

272
00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:21,200
Speaker 2: I love like.

273
00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:24,040
Speaker 1: Hanging out with friends and going out and like having

274
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:26,920
Speaker 1: barbecues and stuff like that. And then they're like, I

275
00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:29,320
Speaker 1: think I've mentioned this before, but I have like my

276
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:32,400
Speaker 1: two week fucking pie. Yeah, periods where I'm like, I

277
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:35,400
Speaker 1: just need to go in a shell and go in

278
00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:37,760
Speaker 1: my dinner and cocoon and I'll be back in a

279
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:40,840
Speaker 1: little bit exactly, like and that's so fine.

280
00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:44,840
Speaker 2: Yeah. So it's a reminder that you are fun. Yeah,

281
00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:48,680
Speaker 2: no matter what you like doing, lean into that. And also,

282
00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:51,480
Speaker 2: if your friend doesn't want to drink and they want

283
00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:54,440
Speaker 2: to stay in or they want to head home, don't

284
00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:56,400
Speaker 2: say that they're boring or they're not fun.

285
00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:59,120
Speaker 1: Imagine saying just let them being like you're a bit

286
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:01,600
Speaker 1: yuck that. Yeah.

287
00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:03,320
Speaker 2: A lot of the time I think it's coming from

288
00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,560
Speaker 2: a good place. People like I want you here, I

289
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:10,360
Speaker 2: want you out, but but it's not it's not nice. Yeah,

290
00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:10,960
Speaker 2: I get that.

291
00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:16,320
Speaker 1: Love it Okay. My next one that is totally normal

292
00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:19,040
Speaker 1: is not having a passion.

293
00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:20,880
Speaker 2: Yeah.

294
00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:24,040
Speaker 1: So the pressure to find a singular passion can be

295
00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:29,960
Speaker 1: incredibly overwhelming, but exploring different interests is part of the journey.

296
00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:32,720
Speaker 1: So there's a common saying, but the full saying isn't

297
00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:35,480
Speaker 1: normally said. And do you know what the full saying

298
00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:36,600
Speaker 1: of Jack of all trades is?

299
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:41,200
Speaker 2: Yes, no, I don't. I only know the second half,

300
00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:45,680
Speaker 2: and I know there's another. Okay, I don't tell me. Yes,

301
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:49,680
Speaker 2: actually not, I know that there's like it's a full sentence. Yeah.

302
00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:52,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, so the full saying of Jack of all trades

303
00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:55,760
Speaker 1: is actually jack of all trades, master of none, though

304
00:15:55,840 --> 00:16:01,320
Speaker 1: often times better than master of one. And so it's

305
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:07,320
Speaker 1: completely normal to not have just one singular passion in life.

306
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,440
Speaker 1: I think we get in our heads that we have

307
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:12,360
Speaker 1: to be really really good at one thing and we

308
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:14,280
Speaker 1: don't know what that one thing is, and we don't

309
00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:16,080
Speaker 1: know who or what or what we want to be.

310
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:18,000
Speaker 1: Like think of when you were growing up. I wanted

311
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,480
Speaker 1: to be a chef, I wanted to be a vet,

312
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:22,160
Speaker 1: I wanted to be an author tic that one. But like,

313
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:26,840
Speaker 1: there are so many things that you can have multiple passions.

314
00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:31,240
Speaker 1: Your passions can change, like life is about experiencing so

315
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:34,280
Speaker 1: many different things and trying it and even enjoying it

316
00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:36,720
Speaker 1: for a little bit and then getting over it. If

317
00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:39,280
Speaker 1: you were allowed to change your mind and you don't

318
00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:42,560
Speaker 1: have to know what your passion is, just try things like,

319
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:45,320
Speaker 1: it's just so much better. And there's this research from

320
00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:49,400
Speaker 1: Stanford University that suggests that the concept of finding one's

321
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:54,280
Speaker 1: passion can be completely misleading. So these two psychologists found

322
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:58,840
Speaker 1: that individuals who view interests as developed over time in brackets,

323
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:03,240
Speaker 1: a growth theory, are more open to new experiences and

324
00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:08,640
Speaker 1: resilient when facing challenges. Conversely, those who believe passions are

325
00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:12,000
Speaker 1: inherent and must be found, which is a fixed theory,

326
00:17:12,359 --> 00:17:15,280
Speaker 1: may abandon pursuits when they become difficult.

327
00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:17,680
Speaker 2: We feel a lot of pressure to have a purpose

328
00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:19,680
Speaker 2: in life and be like, this is my one thing.

329
00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:22,359
Speaker 2: I was born put on this earth to achieve this

330
00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:24,840
Speaker 2: one thing. And then if you face a bump in

331
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:27,280
Speaker 2: the road or you pursue it and you're like, actually,

332
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:30,320
Speaker 2: this is kind of bloring. I don't like this, not

333
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,879
Speaker 2: for me, yeah, then you let it go and you

334
00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:37,040
Speaker 2: feel like a failure. Whereas if you're letting these passions

335
00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:40,840
Speaker 2: come to you as you explore them, then you can

336
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:44,480
Speaker 2: actually test and play and discover what you like, rather

337
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,439
Speaker 2: than being like, no, I'm meant to be a writer

338
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:47,159
Speaker 2: and that is it.

339
00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:49,280
Speaker 1: Yes, I must be a poet.

340
00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:50,240
Speaker 2: I can't spell.

341
00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:57,600
Speaker 1: That's me. I don't have a writer. I still can't spell.

342
00:17:58,400 --> 00:17:59,919
Speaker 1: That's why we have sub editors.

343
00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:02,480
Speaker 2: God, let's sell it moves.

344
00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:06,919
Speaker 1: But yeah, I think if you are feeling like you're like,

345
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:08,800
Speaker 1: what the fuck am I supposed to do in life?

346
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,760
Speaker 1: I don't know what my passion is. I don't know

347
00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:12,520
Speaker 1: what like makes you want to jump out of the

348
00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:15,960
Speaker 1: bed in the morning, that's so fine because I actually

349
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:19,239
Speaker 1: think ninety nine percent of the world feels that way. Yeah, like,

350
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:24,919
Speaker 1: and that's okay. Just honestly, if you wake up, just

351
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,439
Speaker 1: try to leave the day a little bit better than

352
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:30,320
Speaker 1: when you started it. I think that's like the best

353
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:32,359
Speaker 1: way that you can have as a guiding light for

354
00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:35,560
Speaker 1: life is just to leave the world a little bit better.

355
00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:38,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't put all of your eggs in one basket.

356
00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:42,120
Speaker 1: Nah, get the whole get the whole box and throw

357
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:46,399
Speaker 1: them at different houses. Egg different people's houses.

358
00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:53,000
Speaker 2: That's my purpose in life. Vandalism jokes, and I just.

359
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,080
Speaker 1: Had two quick little ones and I also wanted to

360
00:18:55,119 --> 00:18:59,359
Speaker 1: finish on that are totally normal and one well, my

361
00:18:59,359 --> 00:19:03,399
Speaker 1: second last one needing attention. Yes, I am a needy

362
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:08,879
Speaker 1: little girl. I need words of affirmation, I need quality time,

363
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:12,080
Speaker 1: I need physical touch, I need it all. Yes, I'm

364
00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:16,280
Speaker 1: an independent girlie and I can absolutely froth a Friday

365
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:18,280
Speaker 1: night on my own or a week or whatever that is.

366
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:21,480
Speaker 1: But I fucking love a little bit of attention. Give

367
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:24,800
Speaker 1: me a compliment. Yeah, no, I can. I've never been

368
00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:28,359
Speaker 1: one that hates compliments. No, no, I'm not like if

369
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:30,200
Speaker 1: you give me a compliment, I'm not getting shy.

370
00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:35,200
Speaker 2: You're so right, I am gassed. I'm like, absolutely what else?

371
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:36,560
Speaker 2: You got a stude observation?

372
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:37,200
Speaker 1: One?

373
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:40,000
Speaker 2: And another one and another.

374
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:42,040
Speaker 1: One, and then the next one that I want to

375
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:45,720
Speaker 1: finish on is feeling lazy. It is so normal to

376
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:49,160
Speaker 1: wake up and you just know it in your bones

377
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:51,000
Speaker 1: and you're like, today's not the day.

378
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:51,840
Speaker 2: It's not the day.

379
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:53,760
Speaker 1: You know, when you're at the gym and you're like

380
00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:57,720
Speaker 1: ten minutes in and you're like, this fucking sucks. Yeah,

381
00:19:57,920 --> 00:20:00,400
Speaker 1: you know what, pick your shit up, go home.

382
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:02,280
Speaker 2: I had a day like that the other day, What

383
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:02,800
Speaker 2: did you do?

384
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:05,479
Speaker 1: I left? Yeah, good, I should.

385
00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:08,680
Speaker 2: I don't want to be here, And I went every

386
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:10,359
Speaker 2: time I don't want to be here.

387
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:11,760
Speaker 1: I really tried.

388
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:14,159
Speaker 2: I really tried to push the like maybe I just

389
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:15,920
Speaker 2: need to put the tap. I put the ten minute

390
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:18,639
Speaker 2: time round. Good girl, and I said, got to eleven

391
00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:19,640
Speaker 2: minutes and I said, I'm gone.

392
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:22,200
Speaker 1: You said us the love easta baby. Yeah, yeah, good.

393
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:24,960
Speaker 1: It's totally normal to feel lazy. It's totally normal to

394
00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:28,320
Speaker 1: not be productive and fucking life hack your entire day

395
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:32,200
Speaker 1: and like habit, stack and shower and go to planties

396
00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:34,880
Speaker 1: and drink your water. If you're feeling lazy, give yourself

397
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:38,160
Speaker 1: the lazy day. It's so fine. Put the blind down,

398
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:40,600
Speaker 1: get into bed and go sleep.

399
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:43,080
Speaker 2: Yeah. And can I just say, if you're a person

400
00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:48,480
Speaker 2: who menstruates, that is biologically built into us that there

401
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:51,760
Speaker 2: are maybe two weeks of the entire two hours of

402
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:57,480
Speaker 2: the month that you feel physically productive. And we're a

403
00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:00,320
Speaker 2: program to think that we have to be productive at

404
00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:03,040
Speaker 2: all times. There is a good two weeks of every

405
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:05,879
Speaker 2: month where you're going to feel low energy. Yeah, so

406
00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:09,800
Speaker 2: leaning off, yeah, write it off?

407
00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:12,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, shall we get into advice with the chicks. Yes,

408
00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:20,760
Speaker 1: do you believe in right person? Wrong timing? Dearest chickies.

409
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:23,040
Speaker 1: I found out my ex from a few years ago

410
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:25,840
Speaker 1: is back on the dating scene. I've known this for

411
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:28,760
Speaker 1: roughly two months now, but I can't shake the idea

412
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:32,000
Speaker 1: of him moving on. For context, we broke up because

413
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,119
Speaker 1: he said he wasn't ready to date, and to be honest,

414
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:37,679
Speaker 1: it destroyed me. I accidentally made out with him a

415
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:41,119
Speaker 1: few years back, drunk me whioplease, and a day or

416
00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:43,359
Speaker 1: two afterwards we met up. He said he wanted to

417
00:21:43,359 --> 00:21:46,199
Speaker 1: get back together. I rejected him, though, saying that it

418
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:48,119
Speaker 1: was an accident and that I had moved on and

419
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:51,080
Speaker 1: started dating again and so should he. However, this was

420
00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:54,520
Speaker 1: a lie. I never went on any dates after we

421
00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:57,119
Speaker 1: broke up. I thought that by saying I did, it

422
00:21:57,119 --> 00:22:00,359
Speaker 1: would help us both move on emotionally. I kept repeating

423
00:22:00,359 --> 00:22:03,359
Speaker 1: that narrative in my head, hoping it would eventually feel true.

424
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:05,440
Speaker 1: I was at a point in my life then where

425
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:08,920
Speaker 1: I was enjoying being independent. Now cut back to present day,

426
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,440
Speaker 1: where I've lived my best single life, learning to put

427
00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:14,480
Speaker 1: me first and figuring out who I am. Have eventually

428
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:18,200
Speaker 1: dated a bit now too, lol, and I'm wondering whether

429
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:21,159
Speaker 1: we were a case of right person, wrong timing. We

430
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:23,760
Speaker 1: have a semi similar friend group, so I do bump

431
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,480
Speaker 1: into him on occasion, but we never hold a conversation

432
00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:29,240
Speaker 1: long enough, and I feel like I always get butterflies

433
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:32,879
Speaker 1: around him and become too awkward to talk. Sally, be strong.

434
00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:37,320
Speaker 1: I'm about to see him at another social event, and

435
00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:40,320
Speaker 1: I've got the urge to give him a letter, a

436
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:43,800
Speaker 1: love letter, perhaps, Sally, keep your cool.

437
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:45,560
Speaker 2: A love letter.

438
00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:48,080
Speaker 1: Perhaps about how I regret what I said, and that

439
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:50,200
Speaker 1: I had wished I had told him how I really

440
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:52,679
Speaker 1: felt the day we met up. I wish I had

441
00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:55,199
Speaker 1: said that he should find himself and when he was

442
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:58,960
Speaker 1: ready to come find me. Side note, the letter is

443
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:02,359
Speaker 1: well and truly written in my journal. It's giving unhinged

444
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:06,840
Speaker 1: so obs now knowing that he is kind of getting

445
00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:08,679
Speaker 1: to know someone else at the moment, is this a

446
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:11,639
Speaker 1: bad move? I can't tell if I'm only feeling this

447
00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:15,000
Speaker 1: way out of jealousy that he's with someone and moving

448
00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:19,520
Speaker 1: forward in a relationship before me, or if it's genuine feelings.

449
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:22,520
Speaker 1: Oh my god, this is getting so hard. I confided

450
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:24,880
Speaker 1: in a friend and they said, if I do reach

451
00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:27,240
Speaker 1: out to him and the relationship with the other girl

452
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:30,280
Speaker 1: is something serious, there is a high chance that she

453
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:33,240
Speaker 1: will find out, and that I don't want to be

454
00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:37,879
Speaker 1: that girl who disrespects another fair point, especially with our

455
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:41,960
Speaker 1: friend group scenario and others possibly finding out too. But

456
00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:44,960
Speaker 1: also if I can picture myself married to him, then

457
00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:49,320
Speaker 1: maybe it's worth the risk. I haven't fantasized about marriage

458
00:23:49,359 --> 00:23:52,199
Speaker 1: to him in forever because after we broke up, I

459
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:54,440
Speaker 1: worked for a long time to let that all go.

460
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:57,359
Speaker 1: But now I've started thinking about it again and what

461
00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:01,680
Speaker 1: I want in life. I'm at a crossroads. Oh my god, shit,

462
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:04,919
Speaker 1: I'm at the point now where I fantasized about this

463
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:08,400
Speaker 1: so much, picturing a new and mature relationship between us

464
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:10,520
Speaker 1: that I don't care if anyone finds out that I

465
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:13,280
Speaker 1: told him my feelings, because there's a chance that they

466
00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:16,800
Speaker 1: could be reciprocated. Am I at a dangerous point in

467
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:20,919
Speaker 1: my spiraling? Do I show signs of a crazy ex girlfriend?

468
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:24,320
Speaker 1: I'm wondering if I ride out these waves of familiar

469
00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:27,159
Speaker 1: emotions and eventually they will wash over me, But what

470
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:29,480
Speaker 1: if they don't and then it's too late to say anything?

471
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:33,240
Speaker 1: What would you do. Thanks, gals, appreciate your input. Oh

472
00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:34,200
Speaker 1: my god.

473
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:38,480
Speaker 2: My god, that was an emotional role ago. Oh my god.

474
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:42,679
Speaker 1: I feel so many different points. Me is like, give

475
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:44,600
Speaker 1: him the fucking letter, bitchy.

476
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:49,120
Speaker 2: But I'm like, if you were his, like new boot.

477
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:54,239
Speaker 1: Fel like, I feel so many different things. I don't know.

478
00:24:54,640 --> 00:25:01,480
Speaker 2: I feel like, though, my what my overriding emotion is

479
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:04,840
Speaker 2: that you have to say something? Really, I think so.

480
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:08,920
Speaker 2: I don't know if the letter is the right way

481
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:13,400
Speaker 2: to go about it. I'm not sure. I would love

482
00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:17,080
Speaker 2: to see a draft. I'm happy to read over it.

483
00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:20,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, can you send them some suggestions proofread.

484
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:25,080
Speaker 2: But I just think that you might regret it if

485
00:25:25,119 --> 00:25:30,080
Speaker 2: you don't say anything, like you might always wonder what

486
00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:34,800
Speaker 2: if and even if he says it's not reciprocated, I

487
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:36,040
Speaker 2: really want to pursue.

488
00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:36,879
Speaker 1: That you can move on.

489
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:40,240
Speaker 2: You can move on. You at least know you put

490
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,880
Speaker 2: it out there, and then you can the fantasies will

491
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:46,000
Speaker 2: peter off. I think once you've a conversation.

492
00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:47,520
Speaker 1: The only thing I would say is that if you're

493
00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:50,960
Speaker 1: friends with the girl that he's seeing, I wouldn't say anything. Yes,

494
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:53,040
Speaker 1: I think I like if you're friends, because I think

495
00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:56,720
Speaker 1: that will just that will become too much exactly.

496
00:25:57,520 --> 00:26:00,199
Speaker 2: Yeah, I wasn't sure if she was a friend in

497
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:00,480
Speaker 2: the group.

498
00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:02,439
Speaker 1: I know I didn't get the vibe that they are.

499
00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:05,560
Speaker 2: But I'm just definitely I agree coding with that.

500
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:10,000
Speaker 1: But yeah, I kind of want you to give him

501
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:10,800
Speaker 1: a letter.

502
00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:14,720
Speaker 2: Especially because you weren't honest about how you actually felt

503
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:18,520
Speaker 2: when you first said I don't want to be with you.

504
00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:21,879
Speaker 2: You can apologize for not telling your truth and that

505
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:25,000
Speaker 2: you were trying to protect yourself and you know, and

506
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:26,960
Speaker 2: you can say like you don't have to reciprocate.

507
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:29,960
Speaker 1: Also, you're really funny.

508
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:32,080
Speaker 2: I love the way you wrote that. You really took

509
00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:34,680
Speaker 2: us on a jymnel. So I feel like the letter

510
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:36,760
Speaker 2: is probably my God.

511
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:39,920
Speaker 1: Can you send this for letter or can you please

512
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:41,120
Speaker 1: tell us what happens?

513
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:44,479
Speaker 2: I don't know. Am I choosing chaotic either? No?

514
00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:46,320
Speaker 1: I feel like this is the first one that I'm

515
00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:51,600
Speaker 1: like so stumped on. But like, if they are boyfriend

516
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:56,520
Speaker 1: and girlfriend, don't like I think for me, it really

517
00:26:56,560 --> 00:27:00,280
Speaker 1: depends on how early the stage is of this that

518
00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:02,960
Speaker 1: he's seeing. If they've been on like two dates, go

519
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,600
Speaker 1: for it. Yeah, like I think, given the letter, But

520
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:07,560
Speaker 1: if they are like if they've been dating for like

521
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:12,480
Speaker 1: six months, even like maybe even three months, I would

522
00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:16,680
Speaker 1: potentially think about it because that's when like you don't

523
00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:19,679
Speaker 1: want to like step into something that doesn't involve you,

524
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:23,399
Speaker 1: And like then I think if that's the case, you

525
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:25,879
Speaker 1: need to let him go and date this person if

526
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:27,679
Speaker 1: they've been dating for like six months, and then if

527
00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:30,439
Speaker 1: they break up, then then jump back in. Yeah, But

528
00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:33,800
Speaker 1: like I think it just depends on how developed that

529
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:37,680
Speaker 1: dating scenario that he's seeing someone is and making sure

530
00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:41,119
Speaker 1: that you just remain respectful of that, because I completely

531
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:42,840
Speaker 1: understand what she's saying, being like I don't want to

532
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:47,600
Speaker 1: be like the crazy ex girlfriend, yeah and disrespect somebody else,

533
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:51,640
Speaker 1: So just keep that in mind. But if they've only

534
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:54,119
Speaker 1: been on like two dates, give him a fucking letter, girl.

535
00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:56,760
Speaker 1: And I know I'm also not like a no, don't

536
00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:59,240
Speaker 1: get back with an next person, but sometimes it works out.

537
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:02,160
Speaker 1: I know I'm not normally like I'm normally like if

538
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:03,960
Speaker 1: it didn't work the first time, like, what's going to

539
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:05,760
Speaker 1: make it work the second time? I think I would

540
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:09,199
Speaker 1: also really like analyze that, like is it actually going

541
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:11,600
Speaker 1: to be different? Like have you changed? Has he changed?

542
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:13,800
Speaker 2: Why did you break up in the first place, broke

543
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:15,520
Speaker 2: up with her? Yeah, why did he break up?

544
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:18,760
Speaker 1: Then he wants to get back together with her? Yeah? Well,

545
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:22,520
Speaker 1: even that, I feel like we're being very helpful. I

546
00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:24,080
Speaker 1: wish I had more detail.

547
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:26,400
Speaker 2: I wish I knew like the circumstances.

548
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:29,680
Speaker 1: Give a thumbs up if you think she should give

549
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:31,880
Speaker 1: him the letter, or give her thumbs down.

550
00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 2: Down, thumbs down?

551
00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:38,480
Speaker 1: She so stay out of it, Okay.

552
00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:41,680
Speaker 2: Maybe that's yeah, I've got my period. I feel like

553
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:42,440
Speaker 2: I'm emotional.

554
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:46,880
Speaker 1: Okay, I think yeah maybe. Oh no, do you know

555
00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:48,959
Speaker 1: what as well? Okay, I need you to just I

556
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:50,200
Speaker 1: need you to make the decisions.

557
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:53,960
Speaker 2: Sound okay. What I will say is that she's got

558
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:57,640
Speaker 2: a lot of conflicting feelings here, and she's also mentioned

559
00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:01,120
Speaker 2: that she doesn't know if she's just jealous. And there

560
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:02,040
Speaker 2: are two options here.

561
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:04,760
Speaker 1: It's either this one is a stunt.

562
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:09,280
Speaker 2: It does. It's either right person, wrong time, or you

563
00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:11,560
Speaker 2: always want what you can't have.

564
00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:12,360
Speaker 1: True.

565
00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:16,160
Speaker 2: I think you need to sit down in a quiet room,

566
00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:22,280
Speaker 2: light a candle and really assess do you actually want

567
00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:26,400
Speaker 2: to be with him or do you want a boyfriend?

568
00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:29,000
Speaker 2: And you miss what you used to have and now

569
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,160
Speaker 2: that he's with somebody else you're like, oh.

570
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:33,000
Speaker 1: Fuck, we've done a one eighty, haven't we.

571
00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:37,160
Speaker 2: Yeah? Okay, But I think, like, really think about that,

572
00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:41,160
Speaker 2: Like asking you, honestly, during times in previous relationships with

573
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:44,640
Speaker 2: you where you've had conflicting feelings, do you think you

574
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:48,920
Speaker 2: knew deep down what the right thing was to do. Yeah,

575
00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:52,560
Speaker 2: see what I'm saying, I do it. But that's what

576
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:55,400
Speaker 2: I mean. I think that deep down you know the

577
00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:58,080
Speaker 2: right thing to do. And it might be a case

578
00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:01,080
Speaker 2: of maybe you need to do a prop list, maybe

579
00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:02,959
Speaker 2: you need to write, do some journaling something.

580
00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:06,240
Speaker 1: The one thing I will add is that, like when

581
00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:12,360
Speaker 1: I had an ex break my heart and like we

582
00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:15,240
Speaker 1: you know, played the get back together, don't get back

583
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:19,600
Speaker 1: together and the hot and cold thing, My one thing

584
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:22,840
Speaker 1: that I do wish I did was just leave it

585
00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:26,920
Speaker 1: where it was when it did end, because I kind

586
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:32,000
Speaker 1: of just put my heartbreak into like after pay installments. Yeah. So,

587
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:35,240
Speaker 1: sometimes as hard as it is to walk away from

588
00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:39,600
Speaker 1: something that is actually the best thing for you. But

589
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:41,240
Speaker 1: please still send us the letter.

590
00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:44,880
Speaker 2: Oh my god, maybe she should burn it.

591
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:45,880
Speaker 1: Burn the letter.

592
00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:47,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, rip it out of your journal.

593
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:50,479
Speaker 1: Yeah, rip it out of your journal and burn it.

594
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,280
Speaker 1: Did I say? Sit there and look stupid. No, I

595
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:57,840
Speaker 1: said that was not a good advice.

596
00:30:58,440 --> 00:30:59,440
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry.

597
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:02,120
Speaker 1: I think we've actually confused her more than when she started.

598
00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:07,760
Speaker 1: I okay, ruling jury, what is your delivery? I think

599
00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:10,000
Speaker 1: she's got to sit on it, and I think, you

600
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:12,840
Speaker 1: know what, if it's meant for you, it'll find, it'll find,

601
00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:16,720
Speaker 1: it will not be difficult. Yeah, okay, let's wrap it there.

602
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:18,800
Speaker 1: It's otherwise we can go back and forth. I agree.

603
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:21,080
Speaker 2: I'm really sorry for sending you mixed messages. I was

604
00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:25,280
Speaker 2: going on an emotional roller coaster then. Yeah, I think

605
00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:27,200
Speaker 2: I really got swept up in the rom com of

606
00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:27,560
Speaker 2: it all.

607
00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:29,320
Speaker 1: I still stand by the fact that if they've been

608
00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:31,200
Speaker 1: on like one date, you can still shoot your shop.

609
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:34,560
Speaker 1: Thank you, chicks for listening to another episode of two

610
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:37,200
Speaker 1: Broke Chick Jokes. We love being in your ear holes,

611
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:40,920
Speaker 1: big kisses, big smooches, and I hope this episode has

612
00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:42,840
Speaker 1: felt like a little bit of a hug except for

613
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:44,280
Speaker 1: that last bit. Don't know what happened.

614
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:46,520
Speaker 2: There, don't you pick?

615
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:49,840
Speaker 1: Don't you think? But thank you so much, we love you,

616
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:53,880
Speaker 1: and yeah, we'll see you on Thursday for another chat.

617
00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:58,280
Speaker 2: Another gorgeous chat with the chicks, Bye bye, now bye.

618
00:31:58,400 --> 00:32:00,000
Speaker 2: Thanks to Amaka made for making today's EPISO.

619
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:01,920
Speaker 1: It happened, she says.

620
00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:10,440
Speaker 2: H