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Speaker 1: We joke about this. We kind of had an affair

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Speaker 1: for about three years until I fell in love and

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Speaker 1: I was like, I can't do that anymore. It's either

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Speaker 1: all or nothing. I think we always had crazy chemistry,

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Speaker 1: and we like to do things, and I think we

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Speaker 1: love a challenge, and it was almost like each other

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Speaker 1: was a challenged I had never met anyone where I'd

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Speaker 1: had such chemistry as I did with Mike.

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Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to separate bathrooms.

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Speaker 3: We would like to acknowledge the Gadigor people of the

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Speaker 3: Eora nation that we.

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Speaker 2: Record this podcast on today and give respect to their elders,

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Speaker 2: both past and present. My name's Cam Dado.

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Speaker 4: I'm Ali Dado.

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Speaker 2: How are you feeling, sweetheart?

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Speaker 4: I am under the weather. I'm okay, but just sort

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Speaker 4: of muddling through a bit of a cold.

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Speaker 2: Yes, wah yeah, as the Irish or the Gaelic say,

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Speaker 2: you are with.

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Speaker 4: A cold, correct, which is a lovely way to put it.

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Speaker 2: It is very different to go when you see somebody,

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Speaker 2: you go, how are you? I'm sick? I am sick,

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Speaker 2: I am sick, I'm.

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Speaker 4: With I am with sick, I am with Cameron.

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Speaker 2: I am with sick. You are not I am No,

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Speaker 2: you're not. You are with sick.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it means you can create a little distance between us. Sure, sure,

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Speaker 3: choose not to be with sick anymore?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I would like to choose that.

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Speaker 4: Like now, thanks very much.

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Speaker 2: Who are we talking today?

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Speaker 4: We are talking to the fabulous layol Stone and her

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Speaker 4: amazing husband, Mike. Now I believe it is a first

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Speaker 4: time podcast for Mike. Laye's done a lot.

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Speaker 2: Actually, we're popping his podcast Cherry.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: In fact, Lae is a podcaster as well. Amongst many

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Speaker 4: other things, she's an Australian speaker. She's an educator and

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Speaker 4: an author Our pass quite a line in our in

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Speaker 4: our Passions. Currently she's actually educating parents on how to

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Speaker 4: talk to their teenagers around sex. But she's been a dueler.

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Speaker 4: She's then, she's talked to kids about sex in high schools.

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Speaker 4: She's a mum, she's just fat, She's I can't wait

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Speaker 4: to talk to her about her whole life history.

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Speaker 2: Excellent. I'm I'm sure Mike fits in quite well.

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Speaker 4: Oh, no doubt. They've got a great relationship.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and he would have absorbed a bunch of things

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Speaker 3: yeah from her, for sure.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Okay, Well let's welcome Lee and Mike Stone to

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Speaker 3: the bathroom. Hey, Lael and Mike, welcome to separate bathrooms.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for having us.

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Speaker 4: We have disinfected the bathroom for you so you won't

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Speaker 4: catch what I've got in case you're worried.

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Speaker 2: You'll catch what she's putting down.

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Speaker 4: That's right.

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Speaker 2: Hey, guys, tell us about your story.

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Speaker 3: How did you meet, proposal, how long you have been married,

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Speaker 3: all that sort of stuff, just so just so we

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Speaker 3: can get some context around Lael Stone and Mike Goal

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Speaker 3: who we don't understand Mike why you didn't or Lao,

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Speaker 3: why you didn't take Mike's name because you would have

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Speaker 3: been a girl Stone?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, true, yeah, perfect.

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Speaker 2: I can understand why.

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Speaker 1: We actually we actually met. We went to the same

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Speaker 1: school and it was our It was my year twelve

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Speaker 1: media teacher that set us up, which is something that

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Speaker 1: would just not happen these days. But Mike was really

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Speaker 1: good friends with my year twelve media teacher, so he

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Speaker 1: was three years above me at school, and when I

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Speaker 1: was in year twelve doing media, Mike used to come

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Speaker 1: back and hang out with a lovely Chrissy and then well,

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Speaker 1: I don't know you, it's your story, you said, that

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Speaker 1: one day you saw me and said, who's that girl?

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Speaker 1: And do you reckon you could get her number for me?

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Speaker 5: A bit like that, yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 1: And so then the teacher asked me, oh, do you

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Speaker 1: mind if I give your number to my friend Mike,

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Speaker 1: And I was like, oh yeah, and so she passed

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Speaker 1: on my number, and then I think we went out

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Speaker 1: on one date we did, which ended up being cup

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Speaker 1: Day because I remember that because we went put a

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Speaker 1: bet on the hall and we realized that we actually

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Speaker 1: had the same birthday, and so then we completely freaked

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Speaker 1: out that we had the same birthday. And then I

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Speaker 1: went away and traveled for a few years, and then

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Speaker 1: I came back and I bumped into the same teacher

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Speaker 1: again down in Collingwood in Victoria, and she was still

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Speaker 1: friends with Mike, and I gave her my number and

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Speaker 1: she saw Mike and said, I bumped into Label and

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Speaker 1: then he rang me three years later, and then it

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Speaker 1: kind of happened from there.

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Speaker 2: So rang me three years later. So when you were

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Speaker 2: the age that he was when you met.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and then we kind of, I mean we joke

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Speaker 1: about this. We kind of had an affair for about

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Speaker 1: three years because well, I'll tell this so Mike was

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Speaker 1: not keen on settling down being serious, So you know,

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Speaker 1: we were kind of you know, we'd catch up every

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Speaker 1: month or so, we'd have a coffee and you know,

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Speaker 1: hang out, and we did. We did that for about

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Speaker 1: three years until I fell in love and I was like,

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Speaker 1: I can't do that anymore. It's either all or nothing.

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Speaker 1: And then finally Mike's like, all right, let's do it,

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Speaker 1: and then I reckon a few months later we moved Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we moved in together, and then six months later we

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Speaker 1: were pregnant with our son. So we're so young. And

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Speaker 1: then we didn't get married until a few years after.

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Speaker 2: We let me guess three years later.

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Speaker 5: Perfect number, Yeah, year and a half.

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Speaker 3: So when you visit Crowny Casino in Melbourne, you put

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Speaker 3: three on the rulette reel.

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Speaker 1: Yeah or eighteen?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you go.

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Speaker 4: So what is it do you feel, Lale that kept

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Speaker 4: drawing you back to Mike? What was it about about him?

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Speaker 1: I think we always had crazy chemistry. I mean, we

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Speaker 1: we're both aries. I don't know if anyone's into astrology

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Speaker 1: or not. We're both like fiery aries. We like action,

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Speaker 1: we like to do things, and I think we love

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Speaker 1: a challenge. And it was almost like each other was

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Speaker 1: a challenge, would you say story. I don't know. I

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Speaker 1: had never met anyone where I'd had such chemistry as

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Speaker 1: I did with Mike, and I think we both just

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Speaker 1: moved fast, we both just understood each other, and I

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Speaker 1: don't know, we just always kept coming back to each other,

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Speaker 1: especially in those early years. So yeah, it was inevitable.

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Speaker 1: And I mean I look back now and think, I'm

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Speaker 1: sure all our friends and family thought we were crazy. Like,

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Speaker 1: you know, I was twenty four when I got pregnant.

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Speaker 1: We was just so young. Yeah, you know, we didn't

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Speaker 1: own a single thing that we were both running our

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Speaker 1: own businesses. It was all a bit nuts, but we

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Speaker 1: were like, hey, let's just have a baby and see

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Speaker 1: what happens. And we like it work. Yeah, we'll make

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Speaker 1: it work. I think our relationship has always been let's

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Speaker 1: just jump in and we'll figure it out. We've never

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Speaker 1: planned in our lives.

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Speaker 5: Have we been giving a little bit too much?

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Speaker 2: So?

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Speaker 3: How long? How long now? How long ago was that

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Speaker 3: that you've set up?

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Speaker 1: Twenty four so we've been before, so I think maybe, yeah,

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Speaker 1: twenty four to twenty five. I don't know, twenty six

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Speaker 1: years ago, really we've been together.

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Speaker 4: And how about for you, Mike, what was it about

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Speaker 4: Laye that you just knew?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, look, it was.

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Speaker 5: The fire, I guess there was probably there was probably

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Speaker 5: a little bit of power as well, just the non

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Speaker 5: committing to a relationship back then. But yeah, there was

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Speaker 5: just chemistry. There was, Yeah, immediate love, there was. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: it was. It was just on from the beginning. But

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Speaker 5: like Lao said, I just didn't want to commit to

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Speaker 5: a relationship to anything really. Yeah, so really self centered,

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Speaker 5: self motivated to do what I wanted to do. So, yeah,

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Speaker 5: relationship was not part of that.

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Speaker 4: You both decided, baby, that wasn't an accident, right, you

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Speaker 4: both decided let's.

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Speaker 1: Was an accident. That's a big give of it. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was kind of I remember the day. I remember

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Speaker 1: thinking I'm bored, like I traveled, run baby, run that business.

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Speaker 1: I think we were in this stage where I remember

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Speaker 1: thinking what's next, Like, Okay, we're here, we're living together,

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Speaker 1: what's going on? And then we didn't we didn't say

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Speaker 1: let's not have a baby, but we didn't necessarily plan

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Speaker 1: let's have a baby. We'll just see what happens. And

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Speaker 1: then all of a sudden we found out we were pregnant,

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Speaker 1: and then you know, your world turns upside down.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I kind of galvanizes the coupling, doesn't it having

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Speaker 3: a baby or either that or explodes it?

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Speaker 4: True, you know, but I mean we were exactly the

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Speaker 4: same in so many ways. Well we honey, we were

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Speaker 4: engaged when I.

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Speaker 2: Was twenty one, just twenty one, just.

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Speaker 4: Twenty one, and as we always say, you know, we

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Speaker 4: couldn't figure out why our families weren't excited for us,

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Speaker 4: and we're like about the young place of love of like, yeah,

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Speaker 4: I've known him for two and a half months, we're engaged.

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Speaker 4: Like they're like, why we can't be happy?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, why are you?

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Speaker 4: Because as excited as we are. But yeah, so I

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Speaker 4: totally get it. You know that, you know, you're in

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Speaker 4: your youth. You think that you're invincible and love is

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Speaker 4: love and you'll never meet anyone is amazing. That's what

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Speaker 4: I felt. I still feel that way that, I mean,

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Speaker 4: anyone as amazing as cams. Yeah, so you know, you

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Speaker 4: do what you do, don't you? And then you but look,

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Speaker 4: you guys are still together and you've got three kids.

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Speaker 4: You've got your son and two daughters.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we've got three kids, so they're now twenty four,

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Speaker 1: twenty one, and sixteen. Yeah, and I mean we often

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Speaker 1: say it's better now than it ever has been. Yes,

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Speaker 1: And you guys will relate to this, like the early

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Speaker 1: years of having kids is really brutal, Like it's hard,

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Speaker 1: and especially when you're young, and you know, for us, definitely,

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Speaker 1: we had a lot of financial stress and we're both

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Speaker 1: running our own businesses and we didn't really have any

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Speaker 1: friends that had kids either at that age, so it

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Speaker 1: was pretty lonely time. It was hard, it was challenging,

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Speaker 1: but I really do believe if you can get through that,

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Speaker 1: and you know, then as your kids get a bit older,

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Speaker 1: and you know, obviously it gets a little less intense

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Speaker 1: like labor intensive, sure, emotionally intense as you teen have

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Speaker 1: you had as you have teenagers. But I think getting

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Speaker 1: through that stage now and you know now having young

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Speaker 1: adults for kids and rediscovering each other's really beautiful. It's

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Speaker 1: a really beautiful thing, you know, to be able to

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Speaker 1: have weathered that, to come together or so just to

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Speaker 1: be in this space that we are in now.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, for sure, Now we know a lot about Lale

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Speaker 4: and the work that she has done and we're going

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Speaker 4: to jump into that for sure. But Mike, tell us

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Speaker 4: what you do?

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Speaker 5: I support Lale of course.

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Speaker 2: Yeah that's the thing.

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Speaker 5: Look, I've always been in design, so design, graphics, branding,

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Speaker 5: I guess is the primary focus. So yeah, I work

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Speaker 5: for myself the whole the whole time, and basically just

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Speaker 5: take on creative projects. So whether it's interiors or landscaping

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Speaker 5: or websites, just something creative, I guess.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Beautiful.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, and that's fun. And I guess we work together

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Speaker 5: as well, which is even more unusual in a relationship.

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Speaker 2: How let's dive into that. How do you work together?

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Speaker 5: And how is it I do all the design work

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Speaker 5: behind and layl and prepare the online courses and those things,

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Speaker 5: and now they take more of a priority than they

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Speaker 5: used to. Yeah, so it's it's everything. It's sort of living, parenting,

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Speaker 5: loving working together.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, and we both work. We work from home.

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Speaker 1: I mean I do travel a lot of work, but

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Speaker 1: we work from home. So we're together a lot. But

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Speaker 1: I think over the years we're really figured out how

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Speaker 1: to work well together. So, you know, Mike is such

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Speaker 1: a beautiful visionary of bringing I'll have an idea I

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Speaker 1: want to create this or do that, and he'll bring

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Speaker 1: that to life. And I think we've learned over the

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Speaker 1: years how to work together well. I often joke Mike's

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Speaker 1: all about detail. I'm all about kind of bigger picture.

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Speaker 1: So I'm like, let's do this and do that, and

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Speaker 1: then he's like, okay, let's bring it down a bit.

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Speaker 1: And I think that's why we work well together.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: True, So I'm and she's floppy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's exactly like someone needs to do the big

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Speaker 3: broad strokes though, make the mess, and the other one's

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Speaker 3: breaking it up into doable chunks.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I think do we.

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Speaker 4: I think we kind of do make a mess.

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Speaker 2: Both of us. Both of us make a mess, and

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Speaker 2: then both of us can get detailed.

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Speaker 3: We work best when one's sort of doing it the

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Speaker 3: other ones there behind going all.

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Speaker 2: Right, I've got you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, today where your way out the

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Speaker 3: front and I'm just behind just go o.

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Speaker 4: Is that right. We've been together now thirty three years,

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Speaker 4: married for thirty two, and I have literally just figured

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Speaker 4: out the way Cam's brain works, just figured it out.

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Speaker 2: And how is that?

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Speaker 4: It's so helpful?

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Speaker 3: Because as he crosses his arms and moves into defense, No, no, because.

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Speaker 4: We talked about this the other day because Cam's mind,

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Speaker 4: he's a speaking of astrology, he's a pissin now, you

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Speaker 4: know how they're off with the fairies a lot of

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Speaker 4: the time. That is Cam to it. I think he's

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Speaker 4: got I think he's got a post moon and rising

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Speaker 4: and all sorts of stuff.

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Speaker 2: There's some area's in there though, I've got some fire.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you do have fire. But I finally figured out

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Speaker 4: that I just need to ask him sometimes what he

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Speaker 4: actually means when he says things, and where like the

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Speaker 4: tangents this man takes in conversation is so wild, and

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Speaker 4: our sun is exactly the same. And I just realized

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Speaker 4: that the other day too. I was like, oh my god,

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Speaker 4: you two do the same thing where you're still thinking

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Speaker 4: about a point five minutes ago in the conversation, where

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Speaker 4: the conversation's moved on, and then he's lost that five minutes.

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Speaker 4: So when then he'll ask a question that's already been explained,

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Speaker 4: and it's like that's already been said, and he's back,

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Speaker 4: and so finally I'm like, okay, I've got you now

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Speaker 4: thirty three years, I've figured you out.

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Speaker 3: It was quite a moment the other day. It was

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Speaker 3: quite a moment. She's like, oh, now I get it.

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Speaker 3: But see, I have to put the pieces together. It's

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Speaker 3: got to make sense to me in some you know,

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Speaker 3: I've got to draw some flow. Maybe it was a

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Speaker 3: math class in year ten or something and they're doing

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Speaker 3: flow charts, and that's the way I learned what it

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Speaker 3: was meant to be.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, flow it Enough about us, I want.

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Speaker 1: To say we have the equivalent of that. Where's Mike's

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Speaker 1: mind works really fast, and I what I've learned over

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Speaker 1: the years is that he will say something that's already

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Speaker 1: three steps ahead of the conversation, and often other people

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Speaker 1: are like, what what do you mean? Whereas I already

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Speaker 1: know that he's gone fast. And so it's a really

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Speaker 1: great point actually, when you begin to understand your partner

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Speaker 1: and how they think and how they process stuff. I

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Speaker 1: sometimes interpret for you don't know it because people are

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Speaker 1: like what, and I'm like, no, he means this because

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Speaker 1: he's already like three steps ahead.

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Speaker 2: Of what you said.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, Ham's three steps behind. So I'm often that way,

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Speaker 4: but that's because his tangent. I mean, that is the

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Speaker 4: nicest way possiblity.

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Speaker 3: Well, thanks, sweetheart, Well you've been immersed in the universe

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Speaker 3: of children for so many years, from being a dueler

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Speaker 3: to creating an online birth education system to your aware

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Speaker 3: parenting degree. Now you're educating children in sex education. Where

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Speaker 3: did the passion for children begin? When did you sort

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Speaker 3: of realize that.

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Speaker 1: I actually, I think it really was born because of

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Speaker 1: becoming a parent myself. So actually, before I even did that.

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Speaker 1: Not many people know about this, but my first ever

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Speaker 1: company I started when I was twenty twenty was a

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Speaker 1: children's entertainment company. So I dress up as fairies and

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Speaker 1: all sorts of stuff, and you know, put on big

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Speaker 1: shows and go to kids birthday parties. Off and joke,

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Speaker 1: I think I'm on so many old home videos when yeah,

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Speaker 1: VHS videos at kids' birthday parties when they turned five

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Speaker 1: or six. So I did that for many, many years,

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Speaker 1: and then when I had my when we had our

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Speaker 1: second child, I'd had a really rough first birth experience

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Speaker 1: with my first, and with my second, we had this

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Speaker 1: really beautiful birth experience, and the moment I gave birth

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Speaker 1: to her, I just was like, Wow, this is how

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Speaker 1: good it could be, and this is amazing, and it

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Speaker 1: just sparked this absolute love of birth and wanting to

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Speaker 1: support families to have positive experiences. So through that experience,

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Speaker 1: I then moved into working in birth and then really

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Speaker 1: that kind of drew me to working with trauma around

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Speaker 1: families that had tricky birth experiences. And then as my

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Speaker 1: kids grew, you know, and I had we had our

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Speaker 1: third child and we had a few different challenges with her.

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Speaker 1: It really helped me, I think, to understand what I

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Speaker 1: was going through or what we were going through as

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Speaker 1: a family with our kids. That I began to see

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Speaker 1: that so many more families were needing support around that.

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Speaker 1: So I kind of followed that journey. And then as

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Speaker 1: our son moved into those teenage years, you know, I

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Speaker 1: had this thought of I'm my god, he's going through

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Speaker 1: puberty and have we taught him enough about sex and

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Speaker 1: all those elements? And that's what kind of piqued my

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Speaker 1: interest to then learn a bit more about sex education

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Speaker 1: and how we can you know, teach our young kids

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Speaker 1: really healthy sex education so that they're equipped to navigate

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Speaker 1: this phase of their life. And so then I ended

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Speaker 1: up teaching sex ed to teens for about five years,

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Speaker 1: and then that eventually then moved into building the school

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Speaker 1: that I co created and So it really has been

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Speaker 1: following our children's journey that each phase they've gone through,

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Speaker 1: I've had that thought of how can I do these better,

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Speaker 1: or how can I be a more conscious parent, or

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Speaker 1: how can I equip them with the knowledge and the

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Speaker 1: tools to navigate the world. So it really has been

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Speaker 1: through the growth of my kids that I think has

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Speaker 1: inspired my work.

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Speaker 4: I love that. That's fantastic, that's I mean I got

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Speaker 4: into I was a birth assistant in America for a

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Speaker 4: few years, and it was a similar sort of spark

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Speaker 4: for me too, because when I was pregnant, I was

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Speaker 4: so excited to be pregnant, but all I was told

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Speaker 4: was the negative stories of birth and how it was

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Speaker 4: going to be awful and take all the dry and

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Speaker 4: do all this, and it's you know, your life is

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Speaker 4: going to be like there was nothing positive anyone was

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Speaker 4: telling me about it.

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Speaker 2: And I was.

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Speaker 4: Really shocked because I was I'd been wanting to be

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Speaker 4: a mum my whole life, and then it was just

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Speaker 4: filled with this doom and gloom, and I was like,

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Speaker 4: this is not what parents need to hear. We need

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Speaker 4: to know the facts, of course, of what can happen,

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Speaker 4: but just to be able to bring a child in

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Speaker 4: consciously and understand that you you know, to trust your

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Speaker 4: body and to trust what the process is. And so

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Speaker 4: I fell in love with it as well. I just

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Speaker 4: thought it was every birth was just and no matter

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Speaker 4: what I mean, I'm sure you feel this, no matter

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Speaker 4: what the birth was, and there was cesareans in hospitals,

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Speaker 4: there was everything. There was an adoption, it was a birth,

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Speaker 4: and it was everyone was just as special as the last.

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Speaker 4: And I remember them so vividly. I loved love that

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Speaker 4: part of my life.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a really special role to play, to be

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Speaker 1: there when people become a family or a child born

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Speaker 1: into the world, and it's so raw. I loved it

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Speaker 1: because it was real. It kind of all the all

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Speaker 1: the crap kind of disappears, you know, because these moments

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Speaker 1: of vulnerability and rawness and love and emotion and all

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Speaker 1: of it. And I mean, you would. I used to

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Speaker 1: come home from a berth and I would be on

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Speaker 1: the biggest high, especially if it was a good berth.

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Speaker 1: I'd be all loved up. Would come home. I'd be like, Mike,

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Speaker 1: let's make love. I was full of.

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Speaker 5: I'm just trying to be helpful.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I'm here for you.

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Speaker 1: And then if it was if it was a tricky berth,

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Speaker 1: you know, I would It was hard. It was child

404
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Speaker 1: for you know, really learning to take care of yourself,

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Speaker 1: as I'm sure you know early within that it was

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Speaker 1: really it's such a privilege working in that space. I

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Speaker 1: don't work in that space anymore, but it was. It

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Speaker 1: was such a such a beautiful learning around humans and

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Speaker 1: around holding space for people even in their most toughest,

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Speaker 1: roorest moments. So it taught me so much. I'm so

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Speaker 1: grateful for that for that part of my life.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Mike, were you there for the birth of your kids?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: All three?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, definitely.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: How was that for you?

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Speaker 5: Yeah? Life changing really because, like you said, Ali, everything

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Speaker 5: that we got told beforehand, especially from friends, was all negative,

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Speaker 5: was all fear based, was all your life's going to change. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: So to actually be there and see it just naturally

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Speaker 5: just yeah, shifted everything every preconceived thought.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I often joked that when after we had our son,

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Speaker 1: Mike being a designer was so I hope it's okay

425
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Speaker 1: to say this was so flown away by the whole

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Speaker 1: birth process and seeing our son coming into the world.

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Speaker 1: I think nearly everything he designed after that looked like

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Speaker 1: a vaginas.

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Speaker 5: Tell me that their brands look like vagina.

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Speaker 4: Okay, that was your.

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Speaker 5: Amazing And I consciously do anything but everything subconsciously, so yeah,

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Speaker 5: it definitely softened me in.

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Speaker 4: And yeah, just getting back to the work that you're

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Speaker 4: doing now as well, Lale, what what do you feel

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Speaker 4: like the most common misconceptions that teenagers have about sex

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Speaker 4: and their sexuality.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a big question, I think. I think one

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Speaker 1: of the biggest challenges that we have with teenagers and

439
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Speaker 1: particularly around sexuality education comes actually from pornography and the

440
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:32,119
Speaker 1: damages that brings, because I think and also because we

441
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:35,280
Speaker 1: live in a really highly sexualized world, so we're exposed

442
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:38,159
Speaker 1: to images from a really young age as children around

443
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:42,480
Speaker 1: sex and sexuality, and then we have something like porn

444
00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:46,439
Speaker 1: which is easily accessible for teens. And curiosity is a

445
00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:49,080
Speaker 1: normal natural thing of being a teenager and you and

446
00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:51,520
Speaker 1: you're curious about what this is, and you've got all

447
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:53,840
Speaker 1: these beautiful hormones racing through your body and the changes

448
00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:55,679
Speaker 1: in your brain and all those kind of things, so

449
00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:57,920
Speaker 1: curiosity is going to be very normal. And of course

450
00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:01,239
Speaker 1: pornography is so easy to access to just open your

451
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:03,880
Speaker 1: phone and then you can discover stuff. Yet we also

452
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:06,560
Speaker 1: know that pornography is not an accurate representation of what

453
00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:10,400
Speaker 1: real sex and intimacy and love making and pleasure can

454
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:13,359
Speaker 1: look like. And so I think, you know, one of

455
00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:17,040
Speaker 1: the biggest challenges, so different to what we were navigating

456
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:20,120
Speaker 1: when we were teenagers, is the impact of technology and pornography.

457
00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:22,879
Speaker 1: And then there's also the impact of just comparing themselves

458
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:25,800
Speaker 1: to the world. Like often say that as teenagers, we

459
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:28,679
Speaker 1: used to compare ourselves to you know, the people at

460
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:30,880
Speaker 1: school or the kids at the bus stop. Whereas our

461
00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:34,639
Speaker 1: teens are comparing themselves to the whole world. That's huge,

462
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:38,280
Speaker 1: It's huge, it's a massive, it's massive for their mental health,

463
00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:41,080
Speaker 1: for our body image. And then we throw sex and

464
00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:43,440
Speaker 1: discovering what that is on top of that is really big.

465
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:46,959
Speaker 1: And when I taught in sex education to teens, one

466
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:51,879
Speaker 1: of my biggest messages was really about tuning into what

467
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:53,720
Speaker 1: feels a yes and a no for us, but also

468
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:56,159
Speaker 1: what is what feels good, what is our pleasure and

469
00:22:56,880 --> 00:23:00,159
Speaker 1: that dance between you know, particularly to see this lot

470
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:02,200
Speaker 1: with young girls is just trying to please somebody or

471
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:04,600
Speaker 1: I hope they think I'm good looking, or there's this

472
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:07,240
Speaker 1: you know, and and the disconnection from the heart on

473
00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:10,720
Speaker 1: some level as well. And I think there is so

474
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:14,440
Speaker 1: much that we can do to have real conversations with teens,

475
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:17,400
Speaker 1: to help them to tune into themselves and to others,

476
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:20,760
Speaker 1: and to have healthy experiences, because at the moment, the

477
00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:24,520
Speaker 1: messaging and the information out there kind of tells a

478
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:28,760
Speaker 1: different story. So it's a tricky place to navigate these things.

479
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:30,240
Speaker 1: I think, Yeah, a great.

480
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:33,560
Speaker 3: Mike, you've perhaps I missed how many boys do you

481
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:37,840
Speaker 3: guys have just one? How have you handled that with him?

482
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:40,960
Speaker 3: Has been a if you've sort of stepped in and

483
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:46,560
Speaker 3: talked about pornography with him, or how have you handled it.

484
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:49,080
Speaker 5: That It was just just with everything that was sort

485
00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:53,960
Speaker 5: of semi taboo, just to normalize it. So we started talking.

486
00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:57,800
Speaker 5: I'd say Kai was probably eight nine, and started to

487
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:03,440
Speaker 5: talk in the car together, normalizing sex, your body, how

488
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:08,280
Speaker 5: things will change. Probably didn't talk a lot about pawn

489
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:12,399
Speaker 5: so much as just normalizing the actions and the emotions

490
00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:16,359
Speaker 5: and the feelings. It was probably easy as well. I

491
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:17,639
Speaker 5: don't know if this is a good thing or a

492
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:19,960
Speaker 5: bad thing, but to have a second child who was

493
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:24,879
Speaker 5: a daughter that I could actually reference her as a

494
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:30,120
Speaker 5: way to actually treat a woman, a girl, a female.

495
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:33,840
Speaker 5: So that was handy, I guess, But yeah, I guess.

496
00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:35,960
Speaker 5: My main thing was just to normalize it, normalize the

497
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:39,480
Speaker 5: conversation and just be there for any answers, any questions.

498
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:43,320
Speaker 4: Did you have conversations like around the dinner table, like

499
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:46,200
Speaker 4: the five of you at some point and talk about

500
00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:47,080
Speaker 4: sex and.

501
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:49,640
Speaker 2: That's fantastic.

502
00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:53,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, we still do now even as adults. And I mean,

503
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:56,680
Speaker 1: my poor kids, I often think they're probably going to

504
00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:59,200
Speaker 1: need therapy because I kind of took at the next

505
00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:01,240
Speaker 1: level and then to sex ed to teens and even

506
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:03,720
Speaker 1: went into their own schools and taught all their mates.

507
00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:08,080
Speaker 1: Imagine having your mom come in and do it. And

508
00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:11,520
Speaker 1: my I mean I asked their permission and go can

509
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:14,240
Speaker 1: I do it? And then my daughter once was like, yeah,

510
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:16,160
Speaker 1: you can come and teach them, but you can't bring

511
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:19,280
Speaker 1: like the you can't bring the vagina puppet because I

512
00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:22,880
Speaker 1: had this like topic. She's like, you can do everything else,

513
00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:26,600
Speaker 1: but not that. But and it's interesting actually because now

514
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:28,920
Speaker 1: as adults, they're like, oh, no, you were the cool mom.

515
00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:31,160
Speaker 2: You know you probably were the cool mom.

516
00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:34,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, they were, like and often their friends would

517
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:36,920
Speaker 1: come to us when they had questions or although, well

518
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:39,520
Speaker 1: we're worried about this or you know, and we really

519
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:41,600
Speaker 1: wanted to normalize it and make it a topic that

520
00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:43,640
Speaker 1: we could talk about all the time, which we have

521
00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:47,560
Speaker 1: from when they were really young and obviously age appropriate conversations.

522
00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:49,560
Speaker 1: And one of the things I do say to parents

523
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:52,119
Speaker 1: a lot, though, because you know they can feel such

524
00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:55,480
Speaker 1: awkwardness talking to our kids about sex, is that our

525
00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:58,400
Speaker 1: children and this is not just around sex and intimacy,

526
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:01,280
Speaker 1: it's around everything. Our children and watch what we are doing.

527
00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:03,359
Speaker 1: You know, kids can't be what they can't see, and

528
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:08,879
Speaker 1: so so often their imprints around sex intimacy relationships, you know,

529
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:11,399
Speaker 1: their relationship to their bodies happens even before we have

530
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:14,320
Speaker 1: the conversation because they're watching us. And one of the

531
00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:17,080
Speaker 1: healthiest things we can do for kids is to model

532
00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:20,000
Speaker 1: a healthy intimate relationship where we're kind to each other,

533
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:22,280
Speaker 1: we're tender to each other, you know, we cut all

534
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:24,800
Speaker 1: or kiss each other, where we can be playerful with

535
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:27,480
Speaker 1: each other. So they get this beautiful modeling of what

536
00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:30,800
Speaker 1: a healthy relationship can look like, because that's where a

537
00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:33,240
Speaker 1: lot of it actually starts, is that imprinting of when

538
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:36,280
Speaker 1: they're young, when they're watching what relationships look like?

539
00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:39,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, tell me or tell us.

540
00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:43,000
Speaker 3: What does the role of self esteem play in making

541
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:46,240
Speaker 3: decisions about relationship and sex.

542
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:46,880
Speaker 4: Well.

543
00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:49,840
Speaker 1: I think one of the things that we've always really

544
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:52,520
Speaker 1: tried to jump home to our kids is that they

545
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:56,000
Speaker 1: are so worthy of being loved, but they are awesome,

546
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:59,960
Speaker 1: amazing humans. And one of the things I've definitely spoke

547
00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:03,119
Speaker 1: to our daughters about is, you know, if it's a maybe,

548
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:05,359
Speaker 1: if you're sitting in a situation where you're unsure whether

549
00:27:05,359 --> 00:27:07,719
Speaker 1: I should do something or not, if it's a maybe,

550
00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:10,959
Speaker 1: it's a no, until it's a full body yes, until

551
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:13,840
Speaker 1: all of you is like, yes, I want to do this, Yes,

552
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:17,439
Speaker 1: this feels good. And part of that requires a sense

553
00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:20,320
Speaker 1: of connection to self, but also a sense of confidence

554
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 1: to be like, hey, I'm going to say no and

555
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:24,320
Speaker 1: I'm still okay, because our fear is often if I

556
00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:26,760
Speaker 1: say no, maybe they won't like me, maybe they won't

557
00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:29,320
Speaker 1: include me. And so I think that's where self esteem

558
00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:32,720
Speaker 1: comes in and that you know, what we've often said

559
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:35,119
Speaker 1: to our kids is that you are so worthy of

560
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:37,800
Speaker 1: being loved in the right way, right, and don't put

561
00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:40,560
Speaker 1: up with crappy behavior, because you are more than that.

562
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:44,120
Speaker 1: And we've had so many conversations around the dinner table

563
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:46,359
Speaker 1: with our kids where they've had boyfriends or girlfriends or

564
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:48,959
Speaker 1: stuff and they've been treated badly and all of us

565
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:51,720
Speaker 1: will be like, hey, remember who you are. Remember you're

566
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:54,560
Speaker 1: worthy of being treated beautifully. And I think hearing that

567
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:58,119
Speaker 1: from the family unit has been really powerful for our kids,

568
00:27:58,160 --> 00:27:58,720
Speaker 1: doesn't it.

569
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:03,160
Speaker 5: That doesn't have to be just in relation to sex. Yeah,

570
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:08,280
Speaker 5: that's everything. Yeah, true of opportunities, friendships, where you go

571
00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:11,200
Speaker 5: on holidays, who you talk to, what you do, you know,

572
00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:13,200
Speaker 5: it's all the same.

573
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:16,280
Speaker 1: Really, yeah, And I think it's when we can help,

574
00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:21,840
Speaker 1: particularly our teenagers understand that they're not just their bodies,

575
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:23,480
Speaker 1: and they're not the way they look, and they're not

576
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:25,760
Speaker 1: the grades they get at school, but they're all parts

577
00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:27,800
Speaker 1: of them are worthy, you're being loved, and that they

578
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:31,320
Speaker 1: they have that sense of self within them, then of

579
00:28:31,359 --> 00:28:33,119
Speaker 1: course they're going to be less likely to put up

580
00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:36,119
Speaker 1: with crappy behavior or crappy relationships. So, you know, I

581
00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:39,120
Speaker 1: think it's such an important part and teenage, the teenagers

582
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:42,920
Speaker 1: are so wobbly, Yeah, so many elements going on. Yeah,

583
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:46,520
Speaker 1: absolutely a part of being a human those teenage years,

584
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:48,240
Speaker 1: and so I think they need a lot of holding

585
00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:51,360
Speaker 1: and grounding and some role models to remind them about

586
00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:53,520
Speaker 1: their magnificence. I think, yeah, and.

587
00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:55,560
Speaker 4: That kind of rolls into that. I was going to

588
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:59,040
Speaker 4: ask you a question about consent, but that's really very

589
00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:01,400
Speaker 4: much connected as in what you were saying about the

590
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:04,360
Speaker 4: self esteem and about you know, if it's not one

591
00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:07,000
Speaker 4: hundred percent yes, a full body yes, then it's a no.

592
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:10,760
Speaker 4: But what do you you know, especially for you as

593
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:13,960
Speaker 4: a dad, as far as you know, we hear a

594
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:17,600
Speaker 4: lot about what girls go through. You know, I said no,

595
00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:19,520
Speaker 4: I said no. I said no, and then I felt

596
00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:23,760
Speaker 4: like I had to say yes or there's I said no,

597
00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:27,840
Speaker 4: and I was forced upon anyway, Like how what's your

598
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:31,720
Speaker 4: feeling about that? And do you have any advice on that?

599
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:33,200
Speaker 4: As a dad?

600
00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:36,400
Speaker 5: Yeah, of course, I think I think that. Look, I

601
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:38,560
Speaker 5: could be generalizing here and going out on a limb,

602
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:42,120
Speaker 5: but I think there's so much education about the girl

603
00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:46,280
Speaker 5: and her responsibility. I just don't see the same responsibility

604
00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:49,959
Speaker 5: with guys. So it has to be met both ways.

605
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:53,240
Speaker 5: There's no way that I can treat my son in

606
00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:55,479
Speaker 5: a certain way and my daughter and another it has

607
00:29:55,640 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 5: been equal. So I have to educate my son that

608
00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:01,640
Speaker 5: maybe is it's not just for you made it, it's

609
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:04,120
Speaker 5: actually maybe for her as well. So you have to

610
00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:08,600
Speaker 5: sit in that balance as well and read the whole thing. So, yeah,

611
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:12,600
Speaker 5: it's educating your sons that maybe is not a she's

612
00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:15,880
Speaker 5: sort of keen you know. That's a sit back.

613
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:18,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, such a good point. So true.

614
00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:23,440
Speaker 3: Do you work with parents too, Yeah, there's a lot

615
00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:27,040
Speaker 3: of confusion around I think for parents and not knowing

616
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:31,560
Speaker 3: what to do because I see a lot of parents

617
00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:34,040
Speaker 3: wanting to be liked, and you hear that story of

618
00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:35,520
Speaker 3: wanting to be friends.

619
00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:39,560
Speaker 2: Besties with their kids, and it's like, Nate, it's done.

620
00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:41,680
Speaker 2: Not your job here. Your job is to be a parent.

621
00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:44,160
Speaker 2: Doesn't mean that. So they want to be liked, so

622
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:48,040
Speaker 2: they don't. So what's your feeling about all that?

623
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:51,720
Speaker 1: So, yeah, I don't. I don't work with kids and

624
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:56,000
Speaker 1: stuff anymore. Only work with adults and parents across all ages,

625
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:58,640
Speaker 1: from like little bubbas all the way up to teenagers.

626
00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:01,920
Speaker 1: And so much of the work that I do these

627
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,920
Speaker 1: days is helping the adults understand their own stories and

628
00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:06,920
Speaker 1: imprints so they can be the parent they want to

629
00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:10,160
Speaker 1: be so, particularly in regards to something like sex. You know,

630
00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:11,960
Speaker 1: I mean I used to run workshops on how to

631
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:14,040
Speaker 1: talk to kids about sex, and the first question i'd

632
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:16,920
Speaker 1: ask is, put your hand up if you got a

633
00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:21,760
Speaker 1: fully comprehensive sex education that taught you about pleasure and

634
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:24,680
Speaker 1: consent and anatomy and your body and all those things.

635
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:26,760
Speaker 1: Put your hands up if you receive that from your

636
00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:29,560
Speaker 1: parents when you're a teenager. And I think in all

637
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:31,400
Speaker 1: the times I did that, I had one guy put

638
00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:33,640
Speaker 1: his hand up and I was like, wow, any psycho.

639
00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:36,280
Speaker 1: My mum was a sexual health nurse, And I was like, okay,

640
00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:39,160
Speaker 1: well you scored, you got the writ info. But pretty

641
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:41,720
Speaker 1: much nobody else had that right. So then I think

642
00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:43,760
Speaker 1: we have to be compassionate with ourselves because then we

643
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:46,920
Speaker 1: have our own beautiful kiddos and teenagers, and we know

644
00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:49,400
Speaker 1: we need to have these conversations. But because we don't

645
00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:51,840
Speaker 1: have a lived experience of what it feels like to

646
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:54,800
Speaker 1: have these conversations, they can feel really awkward, we can

647
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:58,960
Speaker 1: feel unsure, it can feel really messy. And so you know,

648
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:01,760
Speaker 1: I say to parents, you want to practice saying these words.

649
00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:03,320
Speaker 1: You want to get more comfortable with it, because our

650
00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:05,959
Speaker 1: kids are always reading our energy. If we're really awkward

651
00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:08,120
Speaker 1: and uncomfortable, they're going to pick up or this is

652
00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:10,760
Speaker 1: an awkward topic and something we shouldn't talk about, so

653
00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:13,080
Speaker 1: we want to try and find more comfortable, you know,

654
00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:15,640
Speaker 1: states within us. But then also coming back to that

655
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:18,960
Speaker 1: other part you're talking about, cam of you know, being

656
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:21,200
Speaker 1: our kids' friends. You know. One of the other biggest

657
00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:23,680
Speaker 1: challenges I see in parenting these days is learning to

658
00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:26,640
Speaker 1: set really healthy boundaries, and most of us are not

659
00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:29,240
Speaker 1: great at it, again because we haven't been modeled yet,

660
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:32,160
Speaker 1: but also because we're often scared about what happens when

661
00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:34,720
Speaker 1: we say no then the feelings that might come up

662
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:38,120
Speaker 1: within that. And one of our jobs as parents is

663
00:32:38,160 --> 00:32:41,000
Speaker 1: to learn to sit in the uncomfortable with our kids,

664
00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:43,760
Speaker 1: which means I'm going to say no to you going

665
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:45,880
Speaker 1: to that party, and it's okay if you get mad,

666
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:48,240
Speaker 1: and it's okay if you get upset, but it's a no,

667
00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:50,360
Speaker 1: and you can tell me how you feel about it,

668
00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:52,840
Speaker 1: and I can hear all the other stuff that's sitting

669
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:55,760
Speaker 1: underneath it for you, and we'll navigate that together.

670
00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:58,160
Speaker 2: Yeaps, we should.

671
00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:03,280
Speaker 4: It's we've gotten our kids twenty eight twenty four and eighteen,

672
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:08,160
Speaker 4: and it's so lovely to finally not finally here, but

673
00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:11,480
Speaker 4: it's so lovely now that they can talk to us

674
00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:14,960
Speaker 4: about their childhoods and those times that we drew the

675
00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:18,440
Speaker 4: boundary and they were like so mad at us, And

676
00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:20,800
Speaker 4: now they look back and go, I'm so glad you've

677
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:23,120
Speaker 4: stopped me from doing that. I'm so glad we never

678
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:25,520
Speaker 4: did that. I'm so glad you gave us a flip phone,

679
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:28,920
Speaker 4: you know. And it's like, oh my gosh. You know,

680
00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:32,479
Speaker 4: it's really lovely to hear that, you know, when you

681
00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:35,080
Speaker 4: stand by your guns and know that this really is

682
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:38,560
Speaker 4: the right thing at the time. Just to have them

683
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:39,320
Speaker 4: look back on that.

684
00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:41,800
Speaker 3: Really tough at the time, isn't it. You're looking at

685
00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:45,280
Speaker 3: this person that you love so much and you want

686
00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:49,160
Speaker 3: them to love you and come to you, and they're screaming, yeah,

687
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:53,160
Speaker 3: oh that's really hard. I think you said up beautifully

688
00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:58,120
Speaker 3: just a second ago. Use the word uncomfortable, and just.

689
00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:01,440
Speaker 2: As a broad broad.

690
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:05,400
Speaker 3: Brushstroke across humanity, we're not very good. Most of us

691
00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:09,640
Speaker 3: are not very good at allowing uncomfortability to be part

692
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:14,080
Speaker 3: of our daily experience. To do everything to not be uncomfortable,

693
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:17,319
Speaker 3: and not be with our feelings. And as an actor

694
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:20,520
Speaker 3: or a performer, you know, you see some people just

695
00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:23,440
Speaker 3: leaning on other people to get comfort in a situation.

696
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:24,719
Speaker 2: It's like, no, no, no, no, no.

697
00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:28,480
Speaker 3: The best part is watching you be uncomfortable and dealing

698
00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:32,880
Speaker 3: with that. And that's been hard for me, is to

699
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:37,200
Speaker 3: embrace uncomfortability. And I think as a parent, we get

700
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:39,839
Speaker 3: it all the time, and it's just you've put it

701
00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:43,680
Speaker 3: so beautifully, and I think we've got to really just

702
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:47,880
Speaker 3: be with our uncomfortable aspects and go and accept them

703
00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:48,840
Speaker 3: and acknowledge.

704
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:50,000
Speaker 2: Them and go, yeah, right now, I'm uncomfortable.

705
00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:54,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think I think it's the work of

706
00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:58,160
Speaker 1: I'll say parenting is to learn to be with our

707
00:34:58,200 --> 00:35:00,759
Speaker 1: feelings so we can be with our kids feeling And

708
00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:02,520
Speaker 1: I think that's most of the work I do these

709
00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:06,359
Speaker 1: days is helping adults understand their own childhoods. You know,

710
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:08,719
Speaker 1: how they were raised and what happened perhaps where they

711
00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:11,440
Speaker 1: weren't given that modeling, or perhaps where they learn it

712
00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:14,520
Speaker 1: it wasn't safe to be angry or be sad or whatever.

713
00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:17,399
Speaker 1: And so therefore until we lean into it and look

714
00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:19,919
Speaker 1: at it, we end up then just carrying the same

715
00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:22,560
Speaker 1: thing forward to our kids, absolutely, and that's where it

716
00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:25,400
Speaker 1: becomes challenging. And I think the work of parenting is

717
00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:30,040
Speaker 1: understanding ourselves and our feelings so we can be that beautiful,

718
00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:34,960
Speaker 1: spacious place for our kids to bring all their messy stuff,

719
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:36,960
Speaker 1: and so that we say to them, I can hold this,

720
00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:39,399
Speaker 1: I can meet you here, this is not too big

721
00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:42,000
Speaker 1: for me, and that that's what creates the safety I

722
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:45,280
Speaker 1: think in the dynamic of the parent child relationship that

723
00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:47,480
Speaker 1: that's when our kids will bring their big stuff to us.

724
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:50,560
Speaker 1: It's when they'll sit in those spaces where it's you know,

725
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:52,960
Speaker 1: they're really sad or they're angry, they're upset, and they'll

726
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:54,880
Speaker 1: be able to then navigate it and move through it,

727
00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:58,239
Speaker 1: build that resilience so that they can navigate life. But

728
00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:00,840
Speaker 1: so much of it, I think is us as adults

729
00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:02,839
Speaker 1: doing the work so that we can meet our kids

730
00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:04,120
Speaker 1: in those places.

731
00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:07,400
Speaker 5: And hoping that they turn around, like you said, Ali,

732
00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:09,920
Speaker 5: when they're twenty eight, just going thank you, Yes, that

733
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:13,040
Speaker 5: was really amazing, and I can see it now because

734
00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:14,839
Speaker 5: definitely that in that moment they.

735
00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:16,920
Speaker 2: Don't see it, yeah, but to.

736
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:21,759
Speaker 5: Appease them in that moment is just a momentarily band

737
00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:24,799
Speaker 5: aid it is a band aid. Yeah. True, there's no

738
00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:25,799
Speaker 5: long term gain there.

739
00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:29,160
Speaker 1: Parenting is a long game. We often say, you know,

740
00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:32,520
Speaker 1: we absolutely use those quick punishments and rewards to get

741
00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:34,440
Speaker 1: our kids to do what we want. But actually it's

742
00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:38,200
Speaker 1: about building connection out of the time and and it is.

743
00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:41,759
Speaker 1: It's the uncomfortable spaces, it's spending the time being with them,

744
00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:44,839
Speaker 1: it's meeting them in their worlds. It's I don't mean,

745
00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:47,600
Speaker 1: I don't know any parents who haven't you done this

746
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:51,320
Speaker 1: for a long time who regret focusing on that connection

747
00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:53,840
Speaker 1: and the end of time and those places. You know,

748
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:56,520
Speaker 1: nobody ever regrets that because they're like, I see that

749
00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:59,560
Speaker 1: the relationship we have now with them as adults is

750
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:00,920
Speaker 1: really is really beautiful.

751
00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:03,400
Speaker 5: If anything, you actually have the other side, which is

752
00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:06,320
Speaker 5: people who weren't connected with the children turning around going

753
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:09,000
Speaker 5: I really wish that I didn't work so much, and

754
00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:10,880
Speaker 5: I didn't do this, and I didn't do that, and

755
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:13,400
Speaker 5: I wish that I spent more time with my kids

756
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:19,680
Speaker 5: and a relationship with them now.

757
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:24,359
Speaker 3: So is this a Nate for you guys or did

758
00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:26,759
Speaker 3: you get some help on and tools on how to

759
00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:27,239
Speaker 3: do this?

760
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:31,600
Speaker 1: Oh? I don't know, if it's a nate. But I

761
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:34,000
Speaker 1: think we've both worked really hard on our own stuff.

762
00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:36,279
Speaker 1: I mean, I think for me doing the work that

763
00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:38,759
Speaker 1: I've done, it's kind of forced me to have to

764
00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:41,480
Speaker 1: do my own work. I don't think you can work

765
00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:45,719
Speaker 1: in these spaces and support parents if you haven't well,

766
00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:48,960
Speaker 1: I believe, if you haven't embodied it yourself. So anything

767
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:52,279
Speaker 1: I've taught or done over the years, I've had to

768
00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:54,560
Speaker 1: do myself. So you know, I'm a big fan of therapy.

769
00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:57,120
Speaker 1: I'm a big fan of learning from others, and so

770
00:37:57,200 --> 00:37:58,839
Speaker 1: often I'll go do something and I'll bring it home

771
00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:00,520
Speaker 1: to you and go, oh, this is what I that, babe,

772
00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:02,879
Speaker 1: And then we're kind of work it out together, don't we.

773
00:38:02,920 --> 00:38:05,480
Speaker 1: So you know, I think we've had we've had our

774
00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:09,120
Speaker 1: fair shares of butting heads and messiness when all our

775
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:12,440
Speaker 1: wounds have come up. And I think I think the

776
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:14,520
Speaker 1: thing that I'm the most proud of with us is

777
00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:17,160
Speaker 1: that we've always been willing to go there's stuff here,

778
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:19,919
Speaker 1: You own your stuff, I'll own my stuff. We'll figure

779
00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:22,880
Speaker 1: out a way together. And it's taken time, but I

780
00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:26,040
Speaker 1: really am proud that that we've been willing to lean

781
00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:29,200
Speaker 1: into our own shadows. When we've needed to think it's

782
00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:29,959
Speaker 1: lazy not.

783
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:35,520
Speaker 2: To it's not too much lazy, I think.

784
00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:38,399
Speaker 5: I mean, it's just too easy just to roll with

785
00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:42,480
Speaker 5: the way that you've been patterned. You've got to question everything,

786
00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:44,880
Speaker 5: and you've got to look deeper into things. And we

787
00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:47,359
Speaker 5: all know as human beings, when we get triggered at something,

788
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:51,239
Speaker 5: there's rather than just brush it aside, work through it

789
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:53,680
Speaker 5: and question why, what it is and what is bringing

790
00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:54,120
Speaker 5: out for you.

791
00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:56,040
Speaker 1: But I also I'm just going to add here, yes,

792
00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:59,080
Speaker 1: I also know trauma plays a big part in this,

793
00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:01,960
Speaker 1: and they're not everybody has the tools, you know, and

794
00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:04,359
Speaker 1: they're not everybody is able to do it because they've

795
00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:07,200
Speaker 1: never been modeled it or they're supported. So I do

796
00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:10,000
Speaker 1: believe you know. Again, we're all trying to do the

797
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:16,080
Speaker 1: best job we know how. But you're like, this is

798
00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:19,640
Speaker 1: so us. I'm like soft and general. Here's the truth, mate,

799
00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:20,600
Speaker 1: He's the truth.

800
00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:23,040
Speaker 4: Here it is Mike. Did you grow up in a

801
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:27,440
Speaker 4: household with parents that were communicative with you? Like, is

802
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:30,080
Speaker 4: that something that oh that okay?

803
00:39:30,520 --> 00:39:34,360
Speaker 2: Sometimes you learn from people not doing.

804
00:39:34,680 --> 00:39:42,040
Speaker 5: Yes, Yes, they were communicative European family, very loving, very providing,

805
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:51,400
Speaker 5: probably emotionally not massively supportive and not maybe understanding of individualization.

806
00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:53,680
Speaker 2: Yeah.

807
00:39:54,560 --> 00:40:01,600
Speaker 3: OK, clearly you got wisdom from the Yeah.

808
00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:08,120
Speaker 5: Absolutely it was perfect, perfect learning. And you said earlier

809
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:09,720
Speaker 5: on it was you don't want to do the opposite

810
00:40:09,719 --> 00:40:11,759
Speaker 5: to your parents. You actually want to get the good

811
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:13,880
Speaker 5: bits and the bits that don't make sense, and that's

812
00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:15,600
Speaker 5: that your wife brings to you, and the bits that

813
00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:18,680
Speaker 5: you see, you know, talking to friends and blah blah blah,

814
00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:21,720
Speaker 5: and mash it all together to see how it all works.

815
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:22,000
Speaker 4: Yeah.

816
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:25,960
Speaker 3: Sometimes that takes time, you know, I mean not sometimes.

817
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:28,560
Speaker 3: I think every time. It takes time. You know, you

818
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:31,200
Speaker 3: can get It's like you take a vitamin pill and

819
00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:34,239
Speaker 3: you're not probably going to feel better that day that

820
00:40:34,280 --> 00:40:35,960
Speaker 3: you take the vitamin pill, and you're probably not going

821
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:37,799
Speaker 3: to feel that much different a week later, But if

822
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:40,160
Speaker 3: you do it for a year, you're going to feel better.

823
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:42,319
Speaker 3: You're going to see, see and feel a change. And

824
00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:47,359
Speaker 3: I think through my example of going through therapy and

825
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:51,279
Speaker 3: then working out what happened in my childhood, I went

826
00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:54,640
Speaker 3: through a massive sort of like a learning curve about

827
00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:57,799
Speaker 3: looking at how I was parented and probably did what

828
00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:00,799
Speaker 3: you said, Mike was just push thing away and go

829
00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:04,960
Speaker 3: that's so terrible, you know. But then working more way back,

830
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:07,279
Speaker 3: so over the course of time, I was able to

831
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:12,000
Speaker 3: integrate all those amazing things that mum and dad did.

832
00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:15,280
Speaker 3: And then, thankfully my mum and dad are still alive

833
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:17,160
Speaker 3: and very vibrant.

834
00:41:17,239 --> 00:41:18,040
Speaker 2: I still go.

835
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:21,040
Speaker 3: To them for wisdom today, you know, And it's been

836
00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:24,239
Speaker 3: a beautiful coming around, you know. But it did take

837
00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:27,800
Speaker 3: time and patience, That is my point.

838
00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:30,399
Speaker 1: And I think it's I don't know. When I work

839
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:33,440
Speaker 1: with a lot of adults, when they begin to understand

840
00:41:33,719 --> 00:41:36,279
Speaker 1: what happened to them as kids and their imprints, our

841
00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:38,719
Speaker 1: first default is to get angry and upset and you

842
00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:41,600
Speaker 1: never did this, and you never did that. And I

843
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:44,399
Speaker 1: always remind people that it's really important that we hold

844
00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:46,839
Speaker 1: both spaces. We hold the space it says, I'm so

845
00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:49,439
Speaker 1: grateful for who my parents are and the love and

846
00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:51,600
Speaker 1: what they've done for me, and I also have a

847
00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:53,360
Speaker 1: lot of hurt around, perhaps where I didn't get my

848
00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:55,719
Speaker 1: needs met. And the work is never to then take

849
00:41:55,760 --> 00:41:57,520
Speaker 1: it to our parents and go you didn't do this,

850
00:41:57,680 --> 00:41:59,799
Speaker 1: or write I'm an angry letter. The work is do

851
00:41:59,880 --> 00:42:02,520
Speaker 1: it within ourselves and hear those younger parts of us

852
00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:05,000
Speaker 1: that perhaps didn't get what we needed, and then we

853
00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:07,040
Speaker 1: hable exactly as you say, cam to be able to

854
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:09,759
Speaker 1: sit in a place where you have deep compassion and

855
00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:14,040
Speaker 1: respect and love for your parents in their imperfectness, in

856
00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:17,080
Speaker 1: all the messiness, and we actually realize everybody's doing the

857
00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:19,359
Speaker 1: best job that they know and perhaps you don't need

858
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:21,840
Speaker 1: them to be any different, and that's the goal. But

859
00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:24,520
Speaker 1: we have to work through all our own feelings to

860
00:42:24,560 --> 00:42:26,960
Speaker 1: get there first, because you can't just bypass it and

861
00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:29,719
Speaker 1: jump straight to yeah, it's all fine, it's all fine

862
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:32,719
Speaker 1: without dealing with the parts that felt hurt or upts it.

863
00:42:32,719 --> 00:42:35,000
Speaker 4: It's all the stuff under the carpet that will come back.

864
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:38,200
Speaker 4: I know this is probably a very difficult question in

865
00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:41,120
Speaker 4: the sense to narrow it down, but in both of

866
00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:46,920
Speaker 4: your opinions, what's the most important tip in how to

867
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:49,200
Speaker 4: communicate with your child?

868
00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:53,359
Speaker 1: Do you want to go first?

869
00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:59,319
Speaker 5: My standard one is just to be present. That's it,

870
00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:03,040
Speaker 5: because I haven't done it before. I don't know any answers.

871
00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:05,600
Speaker 5: I've got a lived experience, but I don't know what

872
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:09,000
Speaker 5: the situation is happening in front of me. So yeah,

873
00:43:09,239 --> 00:43:12,000
Speaker 5: just be present and work with it. Work with your children,

874
00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:14,600
Speaker 5: Listen to them and just be there in that moment.

875
00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:18,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think for me, one of the big

876
00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:21,720
Speaker 1: things I always talk about is listening with gentle ears,

877
00:43:21,960 --> 00:43:25,360
Speaker 1: is listening to here, not listening to fix, because so

878
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:28,839
Speaker 1: often what we do is we jump in to offer

879
00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:31,120
Speaker 1: solutions as they're talking about when they didn't get picked

880
00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:33,200
Speaker 1: in the basketball team or the best friends not talking

881
00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:37,360
Speaker 1: to them, you know, watching our kids be uncomfortable hurts,

882
00:43:37,560 --> 00:43:39,520
Speaker 1: and so because we love them, every part of us

883
00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:41,439
Speaker 1: wants to fix them, so we jump in with what

884
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:43,600
Speaker 1: they could do or how they can do it better.

885
00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:46,440
Speaker 1: And actually that's not what we need as humans. We

886
00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:48,120
Speaker 1: don't really want to be fixed. We just want to

887
00:43:48,160 --> 00:43:51,200
Speaker 1: be heard. And I think one of the things I've

888
00:43:51,200 --> 00:43:53,359
Speaker 1: had to work on a lot as a mum is

889
00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:58,280
Speaker 1: just doing a lot of nodding yeah, yeah, thanks for sharing,

890
00:43:58,440 --> 00:44:01,040
Speaker 1: and just sitting on my hand and not saying anything,

891
00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:05,160
Speaker 1: and really just being that safe place to be that

892
00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:08,120
Speaker 1: they can come to us with anything. Because again, when

893
00:44:08,239 --> 00:44:10,920
Speaker 1: people feel heard and they feel that sense of safety,

894
00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:13,239
Speaker 1: they will bring you the big stuff and they'll know

895
00:44:13,840 --> 00:44:16,480
Speaker 1: that's a place to come. And I often say to parents,

896
00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:18,439
Speaker 1: you know, even if you've got like a little four

897
00:44:18,480 --> 00:44:21,080
Speaker 1: year old or a ten year old, and this long

898
00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:23,520
Speaker 1: game of parenting. The more we learn to listen to

899
00:44:23,600 --> 00:44:26,120
Speaker 1: our kids and be present with their feelings and welcome

900
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:28,439
Speaker 1: them doesn't mean we still don't have boundaries and those

901
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:30,400
Speaker 1: kind of things, but to be present with their feelings,

902
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:33,359
Speaker 1: then the more likely they are when they are teenagers,

903
00:44:33,400 --> 00:44:35,600
Speaker 1: when they're at a party and some's going wrong and

904
00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:38,759
Speaker 1: people are in trouble, that their first thought will be

905
00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:40,960
Speaker 1: I'll ring my parents. They'll know what to do, as

906
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:43,799
Speaker 1: opposed to I hope my parents don't find out. And

907
00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:46,920
Speaker 1: that's all we want. We want that long game of

908
00:44:46,960 --> 00:44:49,719
Speaker 1: them knowing deeply that there is nothing too big that

909
00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:52,160
Speaker 1: you can't bring me. You know that I'm here and

910
00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:54,480
Speaker 1: I will hear and love and accept all parts of you.

911
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:57,960
Speaker 1: And that comes a lot through just listening and as

912
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:01,080
Speaker 1: Mike said, being really present with when there's stuff's going on.

913
00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:03,640
Speaker 1: And they sound like two really simple things, but they

914
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:06,279
Speaker 1: are hard. They are hard to do because we are

915
00:45:06,320 --> 00:45:09,040
Speaker 1: busy humans. We've got phones on us all the time,

916
00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:12,319
Speaker 1: we're thinking of the emails, we're juggling everything, and then

917
00:45:12,360 --> 00:45:14,040
Speaker 1: we also don't want to see our kids in pain,

918
00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:16,680
Speaker 1: so we jump to fix and actually those two things

919
00:45:16,719 --> 00:45:20,120
Speaker 1: which are really simple, deeply I think profound tools to

920
00:45:20,160 --> 00:45:21,319
Speaker 1: have in your parenting tool kit.

921
00:45:22,040 --> 00:45:23,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, without a doubt.

922
00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:29,000
Speaker 4: I know, Lale, you talked about you created a school.

923
00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:31,839
Speaker 4: But my question I was going to actually ask you,

924
00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:34,359
Speaker 4: which I mean maybe this is you've already done it,

925
00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:39,440
Speaker 4: but if you could create a program or the perfect

926
00:45:39,480 --> 00:45:43,359
Speaker 4: school for a child, what would it look like?

927
00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:47,000
Speaker 1: Well, I'm gonna have to say it would be based

928
00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:50,000
Speaker 1: on the school that already built, which is what tell

929
00:45:50,040 --> 00:45:55,520
Speaker 1: us about that. Look, it's a beautiful little primary school

930
00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:58,080
Speaker 1: just out of Geelong here in Victoria, in a little

931
00:45:58,080 --> 00:46:01,680
Speaker 1: place called Series. It's all like I created with another woman,

932
00:46:01,800 --> 00:46:05,040
Speaker 1: male Austin, who basically came to me because one of

933
00:46:05,040 --> 00:46:09,040
Speaker 1: her kiddos I was. We'd done therapy a lot together

934
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:11,680
Speaker 1: for many years. I just supported her through raising her

935
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:14,640
Speaker 1: kiddos and one of her kids has started school and

936
00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:17,040
Speaker 1: she just she was just like, he hates it. His

937
00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:18,919
Speaker 1: name keeps being put on the board and he can't

938
00:46:18,960 --> 00:46:21,759
Speaker 1: move his body when he wants to move, and he

939
00:46:21,880 --> 00:46:24,640
Speaker 1: was really you know, she was just like, is this

940
00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:26,800
Speaker 1: what school is? And I was like pretty much. And

941
00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:29,840
Speaker 1: then she said to me, well, what if we created

942
00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:31,919
Speaker 1: our own school. What if we build a school based

943
00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:34,200
Speaker 1: on all the things that you've taught me? And she

944
00:46:34,360 --> 00:46:37,000
Speaker 1: had the means to do it financially. She was like,

945
00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:38,920
Speaker 1: you know, old fund it all. Why don't you just

946
00:46:39,080 --> 00:46:41,440
Speaker 1: create the school that you think should exist? And so

947
00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:44,719
Speaker 1: I think, after all those years of working with families

948
00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:48,000
Speaker 1: and you know, doing therapy with them and seeing the

949
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:50,200
Speaker 1: impact of trauma, I was like, what would have truly

950
00:46:50,880 --> 00:46:54,600
Speaker 1: trauma informed school look like? With the basics of things

951
00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:57,040
Speaker 1: like children having choice in autonomy. They can move their

952
00:46:57,040 --> 00:46:58,680
Speaker 1: bodies when they want, they can eat when they want,

953
00:46:58,680 --> 00:47:00,360
Speaker 1: they can go to the toilet, they can sit on

954
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:02,200
Speaker 1: the couch to learn, they can lay on the floor.

955
00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:06,240
Speaker 1: Just the basics even to start with around getting kids

956
00:47:06,239 --> 00:47:09,040
Speaker 1: to feel emotionally safe so they can learn, because you know,

957
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:10,960
Speaker 1: I know, and I saw it with my own kids.

958
00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:13,439
Speaker 1: Kids don't learn when they are on high alert, when

959
00:47:13,440 --> 00:47:15,600
Speaker 1: their nervous system is peaking all the time, going am

960
00:47:15,640 --> 00:47:18,040
Speaker 1: I going to get in trouble? You know, children need

961
00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:20,439
Speaker 1: to feel safe and seen in order to learn well.

962
00:47:20,600 --> 00:47:24,239
Speaker 1: So we wanted to create environments that felt safe. So

963
00:47:24,560 --> 00:47:27,440
Speaker 1: part of that was having small class sizes. Is calling

964
00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:30,000
Speaker 1: we don't call them teachers. We call them guides by

965
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:33,440
Speaker 1: their first names, you know, having that beautiful emphasis on

966
00:47:33,520 --> 00:47:35,920
Speaker 1: connection and getting to know each other so that children

967
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:40,359
Speaker 1: feel seen, and then looking at the education system and going, well,

968
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:43,400
Speaker 1: how do we deliver a curriculum that's exciting and that's

969
00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:46,680
Speaker 1: inspiring and that kids get fired up about? And so

970
00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:48,640
Speaker 1: you know, we're a play based learning school, so a

971
00:47:48,680 --> 00:47:50,520
Speaker 1: lot of what we do is through play, but also

972
00:47:50,560 --> 00:47:54,160
Speaker 1: through following the kids' interests, what they're into, you know,

973
00:47:54,200 --> 00:47:56,640
Speaker 1: what lights them up. And we are also lucky enough

974
00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:58,480
Speaker 1: to be on like a twenty acre farm, so we

975
00:47:58,680 --> 00:48:02,480
Speaker 1: use nature animals. The kids do a lot of learning outside.

976
00:48:02,680 --> 00:48:05,040
Speaker 1: You'll often find the kids at our school climbing trees

977
00:48:05,200 --> 00:48:05,600
Speaker 1: or just.

978
00:48:05,520 --> 00:48:09,759
Speaker 4: So dirty, but in the fantastic And you.

979
00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:12,120
Speaker 1: Know, we've been open for four years now and it's

980
00:48:12,160 --> 00:48:15,000
Speaker 1: not perfect. I don't believe there is any utopian school

981
00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:17,719
Speaker 1: because I think all different systems suit different kids. You know,

982
00:48:18,239 --> 00:48:20,960
Speaker 1: some kids love more structure, they love that rote learning.

983
00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:22,880
Speaker 1: For other kids they've got to learn with their hands.

984
00:48:22,920 --> 00:48:25,000
Speaker 1: Other kids got to learn with their bodies. So we're

985
00:48:25,040 --> 00:48:28,279
Speaker 1: not a perfect one size fits all. But for me,

986
00:48:28,440 --> 00:48:32,560
Speaker 1: I think having created Woodline and then watching the journey

987
00:48:32,560 --> 00:48:35,040
Speaker 1: of it over the last four years, which is, you know,

988
00:48:35,480 --> 00:48:37,560
Speaker 1: I say, is often far better than what I dreamed

989
00:48:37,560 --> 00:48:40,120
Speaker 1: it to be, which is so due to the incredible

990
00:48:40,520 --> 00:48:42,719
Speaker 1: our principle and our leadership team and the people who

991
00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:45,080
Speaker 1: work there are just the most excellent humans who are

992
00:48:45,120 --> 00:48:47,600
Speaker 1: really passionate about this. Yes, what I do see is

993
00:48:47,640 --> 00:48:50,440
Speaker 1: that there is the possibility of a change for education

994
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:53,439
Speaker 1: because it doesn't suit everybody, and I think it's kind

995
00:48:53,440 --> 00:48:56,200
Speaker 1: of letting kids down a lot at the moment. And

996
00:48:56,680 --> 00:48:58,480
Speaker 1: for me, I would come back to what if we

997
00:48:58,560 --> 00:49:01,279
Speaker 1: put the child at the center for conversation and then

998
00:49:01,360 --> 00:49:04,360
Speaker 1: built a system around that, Whereas I think our system

999
00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:08,600
Speaker 1: is built around data, and it's built around this pressure

1000
00:49:08,880 --> 00:49:12,040
Speaker 1: that we have of what we believe successes, you know,

1001
00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:14,040
Speaker 1: and I think for a long time, what we've been

1002
00:49:14,080 --> 00:49:17,960
Speaker 1: told successes is getting good grades, going through diversity, getting

1003
00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:20,040
Speaker 1: a good job, earning a lot of money. That success.

1004
00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:21,840
Speaker 1: But we know that's not the case, you know. To me,

1005
00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:25,759
Speaker 1: I think success is a calm, nervous system. Success is

1006
00:49:25,800 --> 00:49:28,279
Speaker 1: a person that feels connected to who they are and

1007
00:49:28,320 --> 00:49:31,440
Speaker 1: their spirit as success is someone who is kind and

1008
00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:35,440
Speaker 1: thinks of others and the planet, and who also you know,

1009
00:49:35,640 --> 00:49:38,239
Speaker 1: has good boundaries and follows their passions of what they

1010
00:49:38,239 --> 00:49:39,640
Speaker 1: want to do. I mean, what would the world be

1011
00:49:39,760 --> 00:49:43,160
Speaker 1: if we actually raise kids that stayed innately connected to

1012
00:49:43,200 --> 00:49:45,480
Speaker 1: their sense of self? I think we would see a

1013
00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:47,279
Speaker 1: bit of a different world than what we're living in

1014
00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:51,040
Speaker 1: right now. So as a schooling system, I just think

1015
00:49:51,120 --> 00:49:53,480
Speaker 1: there's a lot we can do to shift where the

1016
00:49:53,520 --> 00:49:56,680
Speaker 1: focus is and come back to children to help them

1017
00:49:56,719 --> 00:49:58,879
Speaker 1: to thrive. You know, for me, that is the.

1018
00:49:58,840 --> 00:50:02,200
Speaker 3: Goal that I'm thinking that and you could probably validate

1019
00:50:02,239 --> 00:50:06,440
Speaker 3: this that in a scenario and environment that you've just

1020
00:50:06,560 --> 00:50:11,640
Speaker 3: explained so beautifully, that there's probably a less need for

1021
00:50:11,719 --> 00:50:16,280
Speaker 3: discipline because the kids aren't feeling the need to go crazy.

1022
00:50:16,760 --> 00:50:18,279
Speaker 1: That's exactly what it is. You know. One of the

1023
00:50:18,360 --> 00:50:21,080
Speaker 1: key things that is the main focus of our school,

1024
00:50:21,120 --> 00:50:23,359
Speaker 1: and we always say to all our adults, is we

1025
00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:25,680
Speaker 1: need to keep looking behind the behavior. There's always a

1026
00:50:25,680 --> 00:50:28,360
Speaker 1: reason why a child's out of balance. Maybe that's because

1027
00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:31,880
Speaker 1: they need to move their body, maybe it's because they're hungry,

1028
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:34,320
Speaker 1: Maybe it's because they've got a new baby at home

1029
00:50:34,440 --> 00:50:36,960
Speaker 1: and they're feeling really left out and not seen, and

1030
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:38,560
Speaker 1: so then they come to school and they want to

1031
00:50:38,600 --> 00:50:41,279
Speaker 1: control something and so then they control someone else or

1032
00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:45,000
Speaker 1: you know, there's always a reason behind the behavior. And

1033
00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:47,319
Speaker 1: our philosophy at our school is that when kids are

1034
00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:49,680
Speaker 1: out of balance, the first thing is to be curious

1035
00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:51,399
Speaker 1: and to lean in and see is there a need

1036
00:50:51,440 --> 00:50:54,520
Speaker 1: that hasn't been met They need some info or where

1037
00:50:54,600 --> 00:50:56,839
Speaker 1: is the connection missing to help them come back into

1038
00:50:56,920 --> 00:51:00,080
Speaker 1: balance so that they are ready to learn or be

1039
00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:02,520
Speaker 1: part of what we're doing. So it takes a lot

1040
00:51:02,520 --> 00:51:05,080
Speaker 1: more work. It's impossible to do in a system when

1041
00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:07,400
Speaker 1: you've got thirty kids and one teacher. You can't do it.

1042
00:51:07,840 --> 00:51:10,080
Speaker 1: So that's why you need smaller class sizes. You need

1043
00:51:10,120 --> 00:51:12,720
Speaker 1: lots of adults around, and you need all the adults

1044
00:51:12,760 --> 00:51:17,880
Speaker 1: to be I think regulated and attuned enough to themselves, right.

1045
00:51:19,239 --> 00:51:20,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, so.

1046
00:51:20,280 --> 00:51:22,279
Speaker 1: That they're able to tune into them But that, I

1047
00:51:22,280 --> 00:51:25,360
Speaker 1: think is where we see the huge shift and change.

1048
00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:27,479
Speaker 1: And it's Look, it's not easy, it's messy, it takes

1049
00:51:27,480 --> 00:51:30,280
Speaker 1: more time. You know, it pushes all the adults buttons.

1050
00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:34,000
Speaker 1: You know, that happens so so much of the time.

1051
00:51:34,080 --> 00:51:36,120
Speaker 1: Over these years of working with lots of adults at

1052
00:51:36,120 --> 00:51:38,920
Speaker 1: our school. What comes up beautifully is what happened to

1053
00:51:38,960 --> 00:51:41,160
Speaker 1: them when they were at school, and they're like, you know,

1054
00:51:41,280 --> 00:51:44,320
Speaker 1: that fires up a whold of their own reactions and feelings.

1055
00:51:44,680 --> 00:51:46,160
Speaker 1: So we've got to work through that so that they

1056
00:51:46,200 --> 00:51:48,359
Speaker 1: can really be that center point for their kids. So

1057
00:51:48,960 --> 00:51:51,440
Speaker 1: it's not easy, it's not a quick fix, but I

1058
00:51:51,880 --> 00:51:53,680
Speaker 1: see how powerful it is. And you know, we have

1059
00:51:53,960 --> 00:51:55,960
Speaker 1: educators come from all over Austraya now to see what

1060
00:51:55,960 --> 00:51:58,240
Speaker 1: we're doing at the school, and we've got other people

1061
00:51:58,239 --> 00:52:00,520
Speaker 1: who are starting to build their own schools on this,

1062
00:52:01,400 --> 00:52:04,080
Speaker 1: which excites me so much because I'm like, if we

1063
00:52:04,120 --> 00:52:07,319
Speaker 1: can create more learning systems like this, I think we're

1064
00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:09,440
Speaker 1: going to meet so many more children's needs. And then

1065
00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:11,440
Speaker 1: I think we're going to we're going to see a

1066
00:52:11,520 --> 00:52:14,120
Speaker 1: massive shift in mental health problems. We're going to see

1067
00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:18,760
Speaker 1: a massive shift in helping the family unit as well.

1068
00:52:20,520 --> 00:52:24,319
Speaker 3: Guys, it's been an amazing chat. Thank you so much

1069
00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:28,080
Speaker 3: for being with us today. We are a relationship podcast,

1070
00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:30,040
Speaker 3: as you know, so we'll just finished with a quick

1071
00:52:30,080 --> 00:52:33,200
Speaker 3: two minute shower, so keep your answers short. Both answer

1072
00:52:33,280 --> 00:52:41,680
Speaker 3: the question please, First question, what happens does your partner

1073
00:52:41,719 --> 00:52:43,080
Speaker 3: have that you find adorable?

1074
00:52:44,239 --> 00:52:56,440
Speaker 1: Oh that's cute, Okay, I'll answer first. Mike laughs a lot,

1075
00:52:57,160 --> 00:53:00,600
Speaker 1: and he's always silly, and he's always been an idiot,

1076
00:53:00,760 --> 00:53:03,480
Speaker 1: and it's actually quite adorable. And especially when you're doing

1077
00:53:03,560 --> 00:53:05,840
Speaker 1: with the kids and you find yourself really hilarious and

1078
00:53:05,880 --> 00:53:08,239
Speaker 1: they don't. That's I think that's really quite adorable.

1079
00:53:08,480 --> 00:53:11,120
Speaker 2: I love that that's called playing. But I think that's

1080
00:53:11,120 --> 00:53:12,319
Speaker 2: what I was going to say. When you're talking about

1081
00:53:12,320 --> 00:53:14,239
Speaker 2: the kid, get the kids playing. Adults need to play

1082
00:53:14,280 --> 00:53:19,040
Speaker 2: more too, Mike. What you say, Mike, what you say.

1083
00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:22,160
Speaker 5: Lalel's heart comes through our eyes. That's that's going to

1084
00:53:22,239 --> 00:53:24,200
Speaker 5: be my answer. Okay, that's what I say.

1085
00:53:24,760 --> 00:53:30,880
Speaker 4: Beautiful. What about your relationship makes you feel the most grateful?

1086
00:53:31,440 --> 00:53:31,840
Speaker 2: Wow?

1087
00:53:34,680 --> 00:53:39,640
Speaker 1: I just think what makes me feel the most grateful

1088
00:53:39,760 --> 00:53:42,920
Speaker 1: is I know Mike has my back one hundred oh.

1089
00:53:42,920 --> 00:53:45,760
Speaker 1: This is makes me emotional. I know that no matter

1090
00:53:46,960 --> 00:53:49,000
Speaker 1: how hard my day's been, or what I'm doing out

1091
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:50,480
Speaker 1: in the world, or when I'm trying to be out

1092
00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:52,520
Speaker 1: there and be big or do all this stuff, that

1093
00:53:52,560 --> 00:53:55,440
Speaker 1: he is so rock solid. I love the fact that

1094
00:53:55,480 --> 00:53:59,440
Speaker 1: when I've been traveling, he'll see where I am on

1095
00:53:59,520 --> 00:54:01,719
Speaker 1: my drive back from the airport and he will run

1096
00:54:01,719 --> 00:54:03,600
Speaker 1: a bath for me. So he knows that it's ready

1097
00:54:03,680 --> 00:54:06,080
Speaker 1: when I get home, Like I just I love that

1098
00:54:06,160 --> 00:54:10,359
Speaker 1: you think about how can I support And sometimes I've

1099
00:54:10,360 --> 00:54:12,160
Speaker 1: been in the morning Michael say to you, how can

1100
00:54:12,200 --> 00:54:14,520
Speaker 1: I support you today? And I just go, that is

1101
00:54:14,760 --> 00:54:19,239
Speaker 1: so golden when you're holding a lot, it's yeah, it's

1102
00:54:19,320 --> 00:54:20,319
Speaker 1: beyond Yeah.

1103
00:54:20,360 --> 00:54:22,520
Speaker 5: And my answer is probably the same, which is we're

1104
00:54:22,560 --> 00:54:24,520
Speaker 5: a team and we're connected.

1105
00:54:25,280 --> 00:54:25,480
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1106
00:54:25,520 --> 00:54:28,080
Speaker 5: We play together, we love together, we live together, we

1107
00:54:28,120 --> 00:54:28,879
Speaker 5: support each other.

1108
00:54:29,080 --> 00:54:30,400
Speaker 2: Yeah. Beautiful.

1109
00:54:31,120 --> 00:54:35,120
Speaker 3: All right, guys, last question, one word to describe each other?

1110
00:54:38,520 --> 00:54:39,920
Speaker 5: How about playful?

1111
00:54:40,719 --> 00:54:43,560
Speaker 1: To me? Describe me? Are you?

1112
00:54:42,480 --> 00:54:42,680
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1113
00:54:45,560 --> 00:54:51,160
Speaker 1: I would say, I would say, honest, there you go.

1114
00:54:52,120 --> 00:54:54,960
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for joining us today. This has

1115
00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:58,440
Speaker 3: been really insightful. I'm sure a lot of our listeners

1116
00:54:58,480 --> 00:55:02,759
Speaker 3: will get some intel and from this. So thank you

1117
00:55:02,840 --> 00:55:03,520
Speaker 3: both so much.

1118
00:55:04,360 --> 00:55:05,239
Speaker 1: Thanks for having us.

1119
00:55:06,560 --> 00:55:09,160
Speaker 4: I knew I was going to love them. I knew

1120
00:55:09,200 --> 00:55:12,960
Speaker 4: it so much. Good info and both on the same page.

1121
00:55:13,040 --> 00:55:16,879
Speaker 4: You know, when they were talking about consent and how

1122
00:55:16,920 --> 00:55:19,920
Speaker 4: they've taught their kids that you know, maybe's a maybe

1123
00:55:20,360 --> 00:55:23,480
Speaker 4: oh that when Lalee talked about, you know, teaching her

1124
00:55:23,560 --> 00:55:26,920
Speaker 4: kids it needs to be a full body. Yes, And

1125
00:55:26,960 --> 00:55:29,359
Speaker 4: if you've got that full body. Yes, you know it's

1126
00:55:29,400 --> 00:55:32,239
Speaker 4: the right thing to do. I love that. I think

1127
00:55:32,239 --> 00:55:34,800
Speaker 4: that's great for anyone, not just teenagers.

1128
00:55:34,840 --> 00:55:37,600
Speaker 2: Absolutely full body Yes, sounds pretty fancy.

1129
00:55:37,760 --> 00:55:41,799
Speaker 3: Yeah, because you know when your body's there, you're feeling it.

1130
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:44,240
Speaker 2: Yes, Like okay, I am all in.

1131
00:55:44,680 --> 00:55:47,640
Speaker 4: Yes, that's exactly right. I'm going to I'm going to

1132
00:55:47,760 --> 00:55:48,399
Speaker 4: use that now.

1133
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:49,720
Speaker 1: Is this a full body?

1134
00:55:49,800 --> 00:55:50,000
Speaker 2: Yes?

1135
00:55:50,040 --> 00:55:51,040
Speaker 1: For me it is.

1136
00:55:51,080 --> 00:55:53,319
Speaker 3: I'm going to see a bit like my Saturday golf.

1137
00:55:53,640 --> 00:55:57,520
Speaker 3: If it's a full body yes, or then I'm going in.

1138
00:55:57,880 --> 00:56:00,600
Speaker 2: And if it's a bit, I'm still going in and

1139
00:56:00,600 --> 00:56:01,440
Speaker 2: I'm dipped the tailing.

1140
00:56:01,560 --> 00:56:04,040
Speaker 4: I don't think have you ever had it on golf?

1141
00:56:04,080 --> 00:56:06,960
Speaker 2: I think it's yeah, weekdays, yeah, week Saturdays.

1142
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:12,200
Speaker 3: I have a better a better sort of permission is

1143
00:56:12,239 --> 00:56:13,120
Speaker 3: a lot stronger on.

1144
00:56:13,120 --> 00:56:14,920
Speaker 2: Saturdays because it's Saturday.

1145
00:56:14,960 --> 00:56:18,200
Speaker 3: But a weekday, a workday, I'm going, yeah, maybe I

1146
00:56:18,239 --> 00:56:20,520
Speaker 3: should be talking to X y Z or.

1147
00:56:20,560 --> 00:56:25,319
Speaker 2: Are you still writing this? And I still go? You

1148
00:56:25,360 --> 00:56:28,920
Speaker 2: go girl, Thanks for tuning in. See you on the

1149
00:56:28,960 --> 00:56:29,640
Speaker 2: next episode.

1150
00:56:29,680 --> 00:56:30,640
Speaker 1: All right, see yea