Speaker 1: I want the fairy tale. I want the prince charming.
Speaker 2: She how do I put this? Isn't a fan of
Speaker 2: my kissing.
Speaker 1: Style with the boyfriend and girlfriend for about twelve hours.
Speaker 1: He's in a trash bit. He's non recyclable, catching hemmer.
Speaker 2: I love being love. I love love. On today's episode
Speaker 2: of Where's Your Head, we are celebrating Anna's thirtieth birthday. Wow,
Speaker 2: Happy birthday, Anna.
Speaker 3: Where's Your Head at is a podcast that talks all
Speaker 3: things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between.
Speaker 2: This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip,
Speaker 2: intimate details, advice, and much more. Happy birthday to you.
Speaker 2: No happy birthday, Anna, everyone listening, make sure you show
Speaker 2: us some love. Jump on our socials which her happy birthday.
Speaker 2: I know she's struggling, she's turned thirty. It's a real
Speaker 2: you'll come to moment, isn't it? Anna?
Speaker 3: I actually can't believe that I finally hit the big
Speaker 3: three to zero, like massive, No more twenties.
Speaker 1: It's a new chapter, and I'm actually excited.
Speaker 3: I feel like I've learned so much in the last decade,
Speaker 3: and I guess that's why we wanted to do this.
Speaker 3: Birthday Special Edition episode because I want to share all
Speaker 3: of that knowledge.
Speaker 2: Yes, you are my go to for advice. I know
Speaker 2: your friends and family, our listeners all ask you for advice.
Speaker 2: So that's the perfect way I think to celebrate your thirtieth.
Speaker 2: Give them your top thirty things you've learned before thirty.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm excited.
Speaker 2: So Anna, how are you going to celebrate your thirtieth?
Speaker 2: Has Michael got anything exciting planned for you? Or is
Speaker 2: it all surprised? Do you know anything?
Speaker 1: I think there's a.
Speaker 3: Lot of little surprises here and there. I'm having a
Speaker 3: nice lunch with one of my best friends. I'm actually
Speaker 3: doing something very out of my comfort zone today, but
Speaker 3: I'm not going to share that until a later date,
Speaker 3: but definitely stay tuned for that. We're going out out
Speaker 3: for a nice birthday celebration with my parents and Michael,
Speaker 3: which I'm really excited about. And then on Saturday, I'm
Speaker 3: actually having a white boat party, so everyone has to
Speaker 3: wear white. It's going to be a really fun time.
Speaker 2: You're coming, I definitely am. I'm excited. I've got my
Speaker 2: kit plan, have you Yeah, it's just white. Yeah, yeah, tick,
Speaker 2: I'm really excited for this white party.
Speaker 3: Have you got me a birthday Finally enough you say that.
Speaker 2: Actually, I completely forgot all about it till Jen reminded
Speaker 2: me literally like a day or two ago, and I.
Speaker 1: Was like two minutes ago.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was like fuck. Actually, on the driving you
Speaker 2: were sending each other photos of what we think. I'll
Speaker 2: just give you a little hint.
Speaker 1: Oh, I get a hint. I'm excited.
Speaker 2: I know how much you like sentimental stuff, so a
Speaker 2: bit of it is sentimental. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Actually, to be honest, I actually did not think Matt
Speaker 3: was going to get me anything.
Speaker 1: Like I was like, there's no way I'm getting a
Speaker 1: present from Matt.
Speaker 2: To be honest, I would have remembered it like literally
Speaker 2: probably the last minute if it lost it for Jen.
Speaker 2: So shout out to.
Speaker 1: JENK thanks Jenny for reminding him.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So I'm having a boat party. All of my friends
Speaker 3: and family are going to be there. We have some
Speaker 3: people flying in from Sydney, so it's going to be
Speaker 3: a really memorable moment. And I was talking to Instagram
Speaker 3: a little bit because I was unsure if I wanted
Speaker 3: to have a party, and then I was like, you
Speaker 3: know what, fuck it.
Speaker 1: I turned thirty once.
Speaker 3: It's been a pretty shitty two years, Like, let's celebrate.
Speaker 3: And so I'm really excited to really start my thirties
Speaker 3: with a bang.
Speaker 2: I can't wait to dive into some alcohol and the
Speaker 2: open the sea. Where are we going? Just in the docklands,
Speaker 2: not out to see I'm going to do a little
Speaker 2: too well. You said that you've got a list of
Speaker 2: thirty things you've learned before turning thirty. What would you
Speaker 2: give your teenage self thirteen? Let's say, what would you
Speaker 2: say to them? What would it be? What would that
Speaker 2: advice be? Fuck so much to say just one real
Speaker 2: quick one.
Speaker 1: Look, I'll give you a couple.
Speaker 3: So I think the first thing I would say is
Speaker 3: don't worry, Like, stop worrying. Everything that's meant to be
Speaker 3: will be. Probably just live in the moment and stop
Speaker 3: racing towards the finish line, because there is no finish line. Like,
Speaker 3: just make the most of every moment. And I know
Speaker 3: when I was at school, I was always like, oh,
Speaker 3: I can't wait until I finish school, and then it
Speaker 3: was I can't wait until I finish UNI. And we're
Speaker 3: always chasing something, and I think sometimes it's good to
Speaker 3: just settle. I think say no, if you don't want
Speaker 3: to do things yeap, like stop just people pleasing. I
Speaker 3: know I did that a lot when I was younger.
Speaker 3: I kind of grew out of it more in my twenties,
Speaker 3: but it's still something that we all struggle with, Like
Speaker 3: it's hard to sometimes say no to people and feel
Speaker 3: like you could be letting someone.
Speaker 2: Down, especially cheat loved ones.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then I think probably the last thing I
Speaker 3: would say is always be kind to other people. I
Speaker 3: feel like I get so much out of life because
Speaker 3: I always try and treat everyone equally, everyone the way
Speaker 3: I would like to be treated. And you never regret
Speaker 3: being kind to someone, You only regret being mean.
Speaker 2: Are there some good tips right there? I'm excited to
Speaker 2: hear your top thirty things you've learned before turning thirty? Yeah,
Speaker 2: but on that, did you have any goals to hit
Speaker 2: before you're thirty or have you have you achieved them?
Speaker 2: Or is that a touchy subject?
Speaker 3: Yes? I literally thought I was going to be married
Speaker 3: with two kids at this point. Like I think we
Speaker 3: all have this image and envision our life at thirty
Speaker 3: to have all of.
Speaker 1: These ducks in a row in boxes ticked off.
Speaker 3: And I know that sometimes people's lives look like their
Speaker 3: ducks are all in a row. But I think we're
Speaker 3: all just learning. We're all just kind of going with
Speaker 3: the flow. No one really knows what they're doing. And yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm not married, I don't have kids, and I think
Speaker 3: that my life has turned out even better than I
Speaker 3: could have imagined.
Speaker 1: And yeah, I think if that's what you.
Speaker 3: Wanted for yourself, not holding yourself to it and just
Speaker 3: kind of like going with the flow, that's what makes
Speaker 3: you the happiest.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll hypothetically say you had kids at what twenty eight,
Speaker 2: twenty seven, to have kids before thirty, didn't experience the
Speaker 2: stuff you have over the last three years, you wouldn't
Speaker 2: have met Michael, you wouldn't be in the place you are,
Speaker 2: So yeah, I don't think you would regret anything like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it worked out well.
Speaker 3: Like I really can look back on my twenties and
Speaker 3: really feel like I have said yes to every opportunity.
Speaker 1: I have no regrets.
Speaker 3: I think everything really panned out the way I wanted it,
Speaker 3: and I've lived a really full, happy life.
Speaker 1: So yeah, bring on the thirties.
Speaker 2: I know I spoke to you a couple of weeks ago,
Speaker 2: and you were sort of like having a realization, like
Speaker 2: a come to Jesus that you were turning thirty and
Speaker 2: you were a bit scared. Has that still there or
Speaker 2: is it now You've come to terms with it and
Speaker 2: you're ready to face the thirties.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think a couple of months ago, I had
Speaker 3: this moment where I was like, holy fuck, I'm not
Speaker 3: in my twenties anymore. I never thought that I would
Speaker 3: leave my twenties. I think I thought that I would
Speaker 3: eternally be in my twenties. And then that realization really
Speaker 3: hit home hard, and I spoke to my Instagram sorry
Speaker 3: about it, and I had so many people reach out
Speaker 3: to me.
Speaker 1: And it's crazy because I feel like no one really
Speaker 1: talks about this, but when you're.
Speaker 3: Twenty nine heading to thirty, you do have this existential
Speaker 3: crisis and you're like, shit, like did I do enough
Speaker 3: in my twenties?
Speaker 1: Am I upset with how my twenties went.
Speaker 3: There's just all of these crazy thoughts that go through
Speaker 3: your head. And I think I felt a lot of
Speaker 3: comfort in hearing from other people, even people in their thirties, forties, fifties, whatever.
Speaker 3: So many people reached out and they were like, this
Speaker 3: is normal. We all go through this moment on the
Speaker 3: cusp of an age, like a twenty nine to thirty,
Speaker 3: thirty nine to forty, whatever it might.
Speaker 1: Be, and you go, shit, did I do everything I.
Speaker 3: Needed to do in that decade? Am I proud of myself?
Speaker 3: Could I have done better? What can I learn from it?
Speaker 3: And I think it's really good for personal growth and
Speaker 3: development to have those moments, because otherwise you just cot
Speaker 3: through life. I mean, if you were going to be
Speaker 3: twenty forever just being like, who gives a shit, I'm
Speaker 3: in my twenties still, I can do whatever, And I
Speaker 3: think sometimes you need to take that step over and
Speaker 3: start a new chapter. And yeah, I feel like totally
Speaker 3: comfortable with being thirty now.
Speaker 1: I'm ready to smash it.
Speaker 3: I have so many goals that I want to achieve
Speaker 3: in this decade and I'm just excited now.
Speaker 2: Big ten years ahead for Anna. I mean, I I'm
Speaker 2: three years off the Big three to zero, So to me,
Speaker 2: I'm going to be twenty forever in my twenties forever.
Speaker 3: Matt still in that mindset, Yeah, okay, he'll come to
Speaker 3: me crying and weeping soon.
Speaker 2: In a couple of years from now. All right, Well,
Speaker 2: so you've come to terms of turning thirty. Let's jump
Speaker 2: into it and see what tips and advice you have
Speaker 2: for everyone.
Speaker 1: Let's do it.
Speaker 2: All right, So let's start with the dating tips and
Speaker 2: advice you have. Let's start with number one.
Speaker 3: Okay, number one is no response is the biggest response.
Speaker 2: Took me a while to realize that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like we don't learn that early enough.
Speaker 3: We need to be schooled on that more. That's why
Speaker 3: I wanted that to be number one. Yeah, it's a
Speaker 3: big one. Number two, never give someone credit for work
Speaker 3: they haven't done. I e.
Speaker 1: Never fake an orgasm.
Speaker 3: No, never, And I think I was shocked to realize
Speaker 3: that a lot of people do, like almost everyone, And
Speaker 3: I just think like, it's all about communication and relationships,
Speaker 3: and yeah, don't give that credit if someone's.
Speaker 1: Not put in the work.
Speaker 2: I've never had anyone fake one.
Speaker 1: I'm sure you have, Matt.
Speaker 2: I'm sure.
Speaker 1: Madd just loves the performance. Probably even GUYI fuilled up
Speaker 1: that ego.
Speaker 2: I put myself over all right.
Speaker 3: Number three, don't spend your time in insecure relationships. Either
Speaker 3: trust them one hundred percent or don't bother massive massive.
Speaker 3: We've both been in insecure relationships, and it is toxic.
Speaker 2: It sucks toxic.
Speaker 3: If you don't feel like you can trust someone, you
Speaker 3: shouldn't be in a relationship with them.
Speaker 2: Number four, if.
Speaker 1: Someone wants to be with you, you won't question it.
Speaker 2: One hundred percent. I agree with that.
Speaker 3: You just know, like, if you're questioning things and being like, well,
Speaker 3: why are they doing this, why they're acting in that way,
Speaker 3: why they're out till six am with the boys, it's
Speaker 3: probably because they don't want to be with you, And
Speaker 3: that's a hard pill to swallow.
Speaker 1: A bit trust someone's actions.
Speaker 2: Number five, if.
Speaker 3: Someone ghosts, you respect the dead and move the fuck on.
Speaker 2: I have to agree with this one hundred percent. I
Speaker 2: struggle when someone would used to ghost me. I'd send
Speaker 2: them that because I'm I think that'd be more my
Speaker 2: ego more than yeah. I'd send them another text and
Speaker 2: be like, did you die? Yeah, Hey, you alive? So
Speaker 2: your Instagram posts? If I was keen on if there
Speaker 2: was a relationship was dead, I'd just let it be ghosted.
Speaker 3: But yeah, but you know what, when someone ghosts you,
Speaker 3: people go, oh, but they haven't communicated with me, And
Speaker 3: I think the key point to remember is they have
Speaker 3: communicated with you.
Speaker 1: They've communicated that you're not even worth a text.
Speaker 2: Back to number one, no response is the biggest response, exactly,
Speaker 2: all right. Number six, You're.
Speaker 3: Going to break people's hearts along the way, and what
Speaker 3: other people think of you is none of your business.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I think in dating we get really called up in
Speaker 3: Oh my god, they must not like me. And if
Speaker 3: they don't like me, their friends probably don't like me.
Speaker 3: And I think it's really important to really take a
Speaker 3: step back and realize when you're in the dating world,
Speaker 3: you're going to hurt some feelings.
Speaker 2: Number seven.
Speaker 3: Stop ignoring red flags just because they're hot, Matt.
Speaker 2: It's undirected you for girls to me or from me
Speaker 2: to girls.
Speaker 1: You should stop ignoring.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I caught myself there a couple of time. Number eight.
Speaker 3: You'll never meet anyone sitting at home watching TV. If
Speaker 3: you want to meet someone, you need to put yourself
Speaker 3: out there. A lot of my friends do this. They're like,
Speaker 3: but I'm still single, and I'm like, but you're still
Speaker 3: at home watching TV. If you want to meet someone,
Speaker 3: you need to put yourself out there.
Speaker 2: Do you mean going to like bars to try and
Speaker 2: meet someone, or do you mean like going on dating apps,
Speaker 2: because I think both of them you're not going to
Speaker 2: meet the right person at either one of those. I
Speaker 2: think they come into your life at like random, weird stages.
Speaker 2: They do.
Speaker 1: But sometimes you need those in between people.
Speaker 3: And you can meet those in between people at a bar,
Speaker 3: at a nightclub socializing.
Speaker 1: Someone could meet you and be like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: you'd be perfect for my single friend.
Speaker 3: Like, the more you're out there, the more chance there is,
Speaker 3: and the more the likelihood of you meeting someone is
Speaker 3: going to be.
Speaker 2: The more opportunities you're opening, the more doors are being opened. Correct,
Speaker 2: all right?
Speaker 3: Number nine, stop waiting for guys to approach you.
Speaker 1: If you like what you see, go and introduce yourself.
Speaker 2: Massive one, because as a guy myself, there is nothing hotter,
Speaker 2: well I think more attractive than a girl with confidence
Speaker 2: who comes up and talks to you.
Speaker 3: That's how I met Michael, and that's how I met
Speaker 3: the guy who I was in a six and a
Speaker 3: half year relationship with, and he actually said to me,
Speaker 3: I would have never come up and said hi to
Speaker 3: you because I felt intimidated. So if I wouldn't have
Speaker 3: made that first move, it wouldn't have happened. Number ten,
Speaker 3: stop making yourself two available. Never cancel plans on friends
Speaker 3: and family just to please your partner, Like, stop putting
Speaker 3: your partner first, stop revolving your life around them.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's a big one. Number eleven.
Speaker 3: Set boundaries easily and quickly in relationships. I think we
Speaker 3: all fall into this trap of trying to please your
Speaker 3: partner or trying to please someone who you're seeing, and
Speaker 3: you forget to set those basic boundaries that you need
Speaker 3: to feel happy in a relationship.
Speaker 2: Did you feel like you set them earlier with Michael?
Speaker 1: Definitely?
Speaker 3: And I think that's why our relationship has been really
Speaker 3: successful because I was not afraid to put those boundaries
Speaker 3: in place. And I think when I look back to
Speaker 3: previous guys who I might have dated before Michael, like
Speaker 3: I wasn't really that serious about them, So those boundaries
Speaker 3: won't set one hundred percent. And the boundies that I
Speaker 3: had never put up were cross but they had no
Speaker 3: idea because I'd.
Speaker 1: Never set them.
Speaker 2: I set the boundaries really early with Jen as well,
Speaker 2: or what we both did. We both set our boundaries
Speaker 2: and we both respected them, so we have a healthy
Speaker 2: relationship now. Yeah, So that's a very good point.
Speaker 3: Number twelve everyone has different love languages, and just because
Speaker 3: someone expresses love in a certain way doesn't mean they
Speaker 3: receive it in that way. I think I learned about
Speaker 3: love languages way too late in life. Same I reckon
Speaker 3: maybe in the last like three or four years I
Speaker 3: learned about love languages, and it's such a big thing,
Speaker 3: and it's really crucial and critical in building relationships with people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree one hundred percent. Like if you click
Speaker 2: and have the same love language, it's giving receiving. As
Speaker 2: your partner, you're very lucky. But it's not all the
Speaker 2: time that people have that, so you've got to work
Speaker 2: around it and find a way that you're both satisfied
Speaker 2: on that as well as I've learned how people deal
Speaker 2: with stuff, your partner deals with stuff, because Jen and
Speaker 2: I have found into a trap where we both deal
Speaker 2: with stuff a lot differently, and that's been struggle. Yeah,
Speaker 2: all right, there are some hot tips there about dating Anna. Next,
Speaker 2: we're going to find out what you've learned about self
Speaker 2: love and growth, all right, and so here are some
Speaker 2: things you've learned about self love and growth. We're going
Speaker 2: to kick it off with number thirteen.
Speaker 3: So thirteen is know your worth and don't lower your
Speaker 3: expectations ever.
Speaker 1: I think we've all been guilty of this.
Speaker 3: We see someone that could potentially be a match for us,
Speaker 3: but they're not quite there, and then we just take
Speaker 3: a few of our expectations away so that they can
Speaker 3: fit the mold or fit the box that we want
Speaker 3: them to be in, and this doesn't work out.
Speaker 2: Never settle, Never settle, all right? Number fourteen, Anna.
Speaker 3: Stop searching for mister right and become the best version
Speaker 3: of you because you're in a lifelong relationship with yourself.
Speaker 2: Don't look for mister right and make yourself missus right.
Speaker 2: Is that what you're trying to say?
Speaker 1: That is what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 2: Number fifteen.
Speaker 3: Self love must always be stronger than your need and
Speaker 3: want to be loved. I know that you are guilty
Speaker 3: of this, man, I've been guilty of this.
Speaker 1: Self love must come before everything. And sometimes we get
Speaker 1: a bit desperate and.
Speaker 3: We just want and crave human affection, human touch, human love,
Speaker 3: and sometimes you need to go no, that's not for me.
Speaker 1: I'm going to focus on myself.
Speaker 2: I know this sounds cliche, but you need to learn
Speaker 2: to love yourself before you love anyone else. Yeah, for sure, number.
Speaker 3: Sixteen, Stop going out of your way to impress your partner.
Speaker 1: Just be you.
Speaker 3: There's only one of you, and you don't want them
Speaker 3: to fall in love with someone else. You want them
Speaker 3: to fall in love with the person you are.
Speaker 2: That's fair enough, But we all know that when you
Speaker 2: start dating someone and you start like seeing someone, you're
Speaker 2: not completely showing them all those.
Speaker 3: Hidden of course, but you yeah, like there's definitely things
Speaker 3: you might like hide for later, like a bit of
Speaker 3: crazy at the bag, but in the same breath, like,
Speaker 3: don't want to show them a totally different person to
Speaker 3: who you are. Like even just something as simple as
Speaker 3: if someone's like, oh, I love peas and you hate peas,
Speaker 3: and you're like, I love peace too, and then three
Speaker 3: months into the relationship they're like, I thought you liked peace.
Speaker 3: You know, it's something that simple, like just be you,
Speaker 3: be authentic.
Speaker 2: I think that's the key point to that number seventeen.
Speaker 3: If you have non negotiables, don't compromise so you don't
Speaker 3: end up alone. A lot of the things I've learned
Speaker 3: is about not compromising who you are, your position, your self, love,
Speaker 3: your own growth, just to be with a partner. And
Speaker 3: I think we all do that, so I definitely wanted
Speaker 3: to make that point clear.
Speaker 2: Good point Number eighteen, How do.
Speaker 3: You expect there to be change if you've not made
Speaker 3: any changes to yourself?
Speaker 2: What does that mean change with other people?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I think if you keep having the same relationship problems,
Speaker 3: and I know you know, we can all have toxic relationships,
Speaker 3: we can be with partners who don't align with us.
Speaker 3: But if there's something that you continue to do in relationships,
Speaker 3: like I used to be extremely jealous, I'm still jealous,
Speaker 3: but I've definitely worked on.
Speaker 1: That a lot.
Speaker 3: I think it's mainly just about self growth, like keep
Speaker 3: improving yourself, keep working on yourself and being the best
Speaker 3: version of yourself.
Speaker 2: That's being self aware, and that's understanding that you can't
Speaker 2: bring in the same stuff to another relationship. If it
Speaker 2: didn't work for another one, there's no reason for it
Speaker 2: to work with another person, and it's just going to
Speaker 2: make the same conflict and make the same dramas I feel,
Speaker 2: Yeah for sure. Number nineteen.
Speaker 3: Stop running away from hard conversations. Sometimes the truth is unpleasant,
Speaker 3: but it sets you free.
Speaker 2: Do you do that a lot still?
Speaker 3: I think specifically I was talking about when I wanted
Speaker 3: to end a relationship, and it actually took me six
Speaker 3: months to get there. Mentally, it was just a real struggle.
Speaker 3: It was a long term relationship, so you'd.
Speaker 2: Already checked out for six months, but you're still.
Speaker 3: But I was still physically there. Yeah, And I think
Speaker 3: that's rough. Sometimes hard conversations are so terrifying and so scary.
Speaker 3: But if you truly are committed to someone or committed
Speaker 3: to a relationship or whatever it is, if you just
Speaker 3: have basic respect for someone, I think it's fair and
Speaker 3: right to have unpleasant conversations with them so that they
Speaker 3: know how you're feeling one hundred percent, and hiding and
Speaker 3: burying those things only makes them just bubble up even more.
Speaker 1: And that's what I definitely found.
Speaker 2: Well, it's not fair to you or your partner for
Speaker 2: six months, your inner dialogue is I don't want to
Speaker 2: be with this person. I just I'm over them, might
Speaker 2: want to break up with them. Like that's pretty rough.
Speaker 3: It's rough, but it's also a tug of war in
Speaker 3: your head. And it's also caring about someone so much
Speaker 3: that you don't want to hurt their feelings because you're like,
Speaker 3: this is going to break their heart, Like.
Speaker 2: You said earlier, you're going to break people's.
Speaker 1: Hearts exactly why it's in.
Speaker 2: There number twenty.
Speaker 3: Breakups push you to do the biggest personal growth, So
Speaker 3: don't run away from them, embrace them. I know that
Speaker 3: we've both struggled with this. We all hate going through
Speaker 3: a breakup. They fucking suck the worst, But sometimes not
Speaker 3: sometimes all the time. From me personally, I've had such
Speaker 3: amazing personal growth after a breakup. That's when we excel
Speaker 3: and we do great things and we're pushed out of
Speaker 3: our comfort zone.
Speaker 2: Well, if you're not coming out of a breakup without
Speaker 2: any personal growth, then you've wasted your time. I feel
Speaker 2: you need to learn and grow from the mistakes that
Speaker 2: you've made in that relationship and become a better person
Speaker 2: for sure.
Speaker 3: And I think like when you are going through a
Speaker 3: breakup and you're at rock bottom, reminding yourself that you're
Speaker 3: about to really do amazing things and have this crazy
Speaker 3: growth and crazy new experiences that you would have never
Speaker 3: had in that relationship is really imperative to that breakup status.
Speaker 2: All right, So next we'll be listening to Anna's tips
Speaker 2: on how to deal with anxiety. I know I'll be
Speaker 2: listening to this have some bad anxiety, so I'm excited
Speaker 2: for these tips. All right, so we know you deal
Speaker 2: with anxiety pretty bad, so does myself. What are some
Speaker 2: stuff you've learned and some tips that you can give
Speaker 2: our listeners on how to deal with anxiety. Obviously these
Speaker 2: tips aren't going to stop anxiety, but they're the best
Speaker 2: ways on how to cope with it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've only made three for this, and they're specifically
Speaker 3: in relation to relationships, but definitely can be implemented into
Speaker 3: everyday life. So number twenty one my favorite number. It's
Speaker 3: all about perception. So metaphorically, if you're jumping off a cliff,
Speaker 3: you're only falling if you believe you're falling.
Speaker 1: Otherwise you're flying.
Speaker 3: So basically what it's saying is, if something's really bad
Speaker 3: and you're about to hit rock bottom and you feel
Speaker 3: like you're falling and you're getting deeper and deeper in
Speaker 3: your anxiety, if you change your perception, you could essentially
Speaker 3: be flying.
Speaker 1: It's how you perceive things.
Speaker 2: Love that one, Anna. Number twenty two.
Speaker 3: Thinking of the past is depression, thinking of the future
Speaker 3: is anxiety, but living in the moment is happiness. I mean,
Speaker 3: we've touched on this one before. If you have regrets
Speaker 3: and you think about the past and continue to let
Speaker 3: that plague your mind, you can get really sad and
Speaker 3: down about that.
Speaker 1: When you look into the future and you.
Speaker 3: Stress and worry about the what ifs, what could be,
Speaker 3: that's very anxiety inducing, and I think living in the
Speaker 3: moment is where you can truly feel happy.
Speaker 2: Why do they call it the present, Anna, because it's
Speaker 2: a gift. I knew where it was going with that
Speaker 2: number twenty three.
Speaker 3: Stop worrying about how you look in bed, focus on
Speaker 3: enjoyment during sex. So basically I know that a lot
Speaker 3: of my friends, a lot of people I know, and
Speaker 3: even me to a certain degree, during sex, people worry
Speaker 3: about I need to sack in my tummy, I need
Speaker 3: to look a certain way, And I think letting all
Speaker 3: of that anxiety and worry go and just focusing on
Speaker 3: your own pleasure.
Speaker 2: I watched a TikTok the other day and it was
Speaker 2: saying It's said, a man isn't looking at what you
Speaker 2: think he is during sex. So when a girl's thinking
Speaker 2: insecure about a bit of their body, that man that
Speaker 2: you're having sex with is not thinking about that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think confidence speaks volumes. If you're having sex
Speaker 3: with someone, just own it. I think sometimes faking it
Speaker 3: till you make it really does work, and once you
Speaker 3: act confident, then you're like, actually, I really have nothing
Speaker 3: to worry about. They're not like, oh I see a
Speaker 3: fat role or like there's a bit of cell you
Speaker 3: light there.
Speaker 2: No guys thinking that.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: All right, An, So we're on the final stretcher on
Speaker 2: the home run. These tips have been amazing for everyone
Speaker 2: listening at home. I hope you've got a notepad out
Speaker 2: and you're dropping these down, because I know I have been.
Speaker 2: I'm definitely going to take some of these and put
Speaker 2: them into my everyday life. All right. So the next
Speaker 2: six are for finding happiness. We start with number twenty four.
Speaker 1: Always appreciate the little loves in your life.
Speaker 3: Just because you're not in a relationship does not mean
Speaker 3: you're not loved. I think that's a big one that
Speaker 3: I have struggled with. I think I've always craved like
Speaker 3: I always had to be seeing someone or always needed
Speaker 3: a boyfriend, and I think sometimes really just embracing those
Speaker 3: single moments and really like sinking into it and being
Speaker 3: like I'm a free person. I can do whatever I
Speaker 3: want whenever I want. I don't need to check in
Speaker 3: with anyone, and I'm still loved. I have amazing friends, family,
Speaker 3: people care about me, and I'm not not loved.
Speaker 2: Number twenty five.
Speaker 3: The universe always has a better plan for you. God,
Speaker 3: I wish I knew this one earlier. I think at
Speaker 3: the end of breakhups, I was always like, my life
Speaker 3: is over, like it will never be the same, He'll
Speaker 3: never be happy.
Speaker 2: Again, ever find anyone again.
Speaker 3: I don't even want anyone else. They're the only person
Speaker 3: for me. I think that is like the wrong thought process.
Speaker 3: I think every time I've thought that I would never
Speaker 3: be happy again, I found so much more happiness, a
Speaker 3: deeper sense of happiness that connects more spiritually with me.
Speaker 2: Number twenty six.
Speaker 1: Manifesting is real.
Speaker 3: Words are your spells, and that's why we call them spelling.
Speaker 1: Manifestation is crazy.
Speaker 2: I think I believe in it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, when I was down and out about myself and
Speaker 3: I'd just be like life is bad, Da da da,
Speaker 3: and just be have a very negative vibration. The universe
Speaker 3: gave me that as soon as I got out of
Speaker 3: that mind frame. And I wasn't in it for long,
Speaker 3: mind you, but as soon as I snapped myself out
Speaker 3: of it and started being more positive and started talking
Speaker 3: as if I already had all of this stuff that
Speaker 3: I wanted, and started talking as if my goals were
Speaker 3: already coming to fruition, That's when the universe started to gift.
Speaker 1: Me with those things.
Speaker 2: Number twenty seven.
Speaker 3: You are who you surround yourself with, so be very
Speaker 3: careful with who you let in.
Speaker 2: Great point.
Speaker 3: I think energy is a totally underrated thing, and I
Speaker 3: think who you let into your energy space really affects you.
Speaker 3: And I think we learn from other people's behaviors who
Speaker 3: are in our inner circle, So to be very careful
Speaker 3: with who you do let in.
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't let people suck your energy that aren't worthy
Speaker 2: of it. Number twenty eight.
Speaker 3: Not everyone wants to get married and have kids, so
Speaker 3: don't project your values onto someone else.
Speaker 2: Very good point.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think we're all on our own journey. We're
Speaker 3: all here for our own purpose and owned reason. And
Speaker 3: just because you might think that marriaging kids as your
Speaker 3: purpose doesn't mean that it's someone else's. And I think
Speaker 3: hitting thirty as well. I mean, I'm not single, but
Speaker 3: I'm not engaged, not married, don't have kids. I think
Speaker 3: that's empowering for me, and I think it's empowering for
Speaker 3: a lot of women. I mean to be honest, I
Speaker 3: don't really know, Like none of my friends, we're all
Speaker 3: in the same position. Thirty Yeah, Gen turn thirty soon.
Speaker 3: I think it's it's an empowering place to be and
Speaker 3: not to project what you envision for your life onto
Speaker 3: others is a great one.
Speaker 2: Number twenty nine.
Speaker 3: This one's similar, but it's slightly different. It's don't push
Speaker 3: your relationship values onto other people. Everyone again, as I said,
Speaker 3: runs their own race, like whether that be like someone
Speaker 3: who wants to have an open relationship, someone who's in
Speaker 3: a monogamous relationship, someone who might want to do a
Speaker 3: bit in between, or whatever that looks like for them.
Speaker 3: I think respecting that because at the end of the day,
Speaker 3: we live by our own rules. And I think also
Speaker 3: like societal pressures for people to be in this like
Speaker 3: square box is I think something that in twenty twenty
Speaker 3: two we're pushing boundaries and pushing back on and I
Speaker 3: love I love that all right, So lucky.
Speaker 2: Last we've hit number thirty. These tips have been amazing.
Speaker 2: Number thirty, Take it away.
Speaker 1: Whatever is meant for you will not pass you.
Speaker 2: I think we said this before on this podcast, and
Speaker 2: I think it is a massive statement and it's true.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think like people get bogged down in the
Speaker 3: past and the what if we've said it before. We
Speaker 3: sleep easy at night knowing that if we break up
Speaker 3: with someone and they're meant for us, they will find
Speaker 3: a way back to us. And not just in relationships,
Speaker 3: but I think in life in general, Like if you
Speaker 3: didn't get the job that you were going for, it's
Speaker 3: because something better is coming, something more aligned with you.
Speaker 3: So that was my last one. Matt, I can't believe
Speaker 3: I'm thirty.
Speaker 2: I can't believe it either, Anna. I mean, you don't
Speaker 2: look at day over twenty one, twenty two. I told
Speaker 2: him to say, yeah, no, happy birthday. I hope you
Speaker 2: have a great day. I'm very excited for this weekend. Yeah,
Speaker 2: like I said, I am going to be absolutely sending
Speaker 2: it on the Open Cities for you and your family.
Speaker 3: We're gonna reach hat my birthday party very soon. But guys,
Speaker 3: thank you so much for all the birthday love that
Speaker 3: I have already received. I really appreciate this community and
Speaker 3: I'm so excited to be sharing my thirtieth
Speaker 2: Birthday with you, Happy birthday, Thanks, bye bye,