WEBVTT - 30 THINGS I WISH I KNEW BEFORE TURNING 30 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:02.640 I want the fairy tale. I want the prince charming. 0:00:03.120 --> 0:00:06.000 She how do I put this? Isn't a fan of 0:00:06.040 --> 0:00:06.960 my kissing. 0:00:06.640 --> 0:00:10.600 Style with the boyfriend and girlfriend for about twelve hours. 0:00:10.680 --> 0:00:13.760 He's in a trash bit. He's non recyclable, catching hemmer. 0:00:15.200 --> 0:00:18.759 I love being love. I love love. On today's episode 0:00:18.760 --> 0:00:22.599 of Where's Your Head, we are celebrating Anna's thirtieth birthday. Wow, 0:00:22.720 --> 0:00:28.120 Happy birthday, Anna. 0:00:28.600 --> 0:00:31.000 Where's Your Head at is a podcast that talks all 0:00:31.080 --> 0:00:36.400 things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between. 0:00:36.680 --> 0:00:39.400 This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip, 0:00:39.560 --> 0:00:49.600 intimate details, advice, and much more. Happy birthday to you. 0:00:49.600 --> 0:00:53.080 No happy birthday, Anna, everyone listening, make sure you show 0:00:53.159 --> 0:00:56.040 us some love. Jump on our socials which her happy birthday. 0:00:56.320 --> 0:00:59.960 I know she's struggling, she's turned thirty. It's a real 0:01:00.000 --> 0:01:02.360 you'll come to moment, isn't it? Anna? 0:01:02.480 --> 0:01:05.679 I actually can't believe that I finally hit the big 0:01:05.920 --> 0:01:09.119 three to zero, like massive, No more twenties. 0:01:09.400 --> 0:01:12.000 It's a new chapter, and I'm actually excited. 0:01:12.080 --> 0:01:15.360 I feel like I've learned so much in the last decade, 0:01:15.959 --> 0:01:17.960 and I guess that's why we wanted to do this. 0:01:18.080 --> 0:01:21.640 Birthday Special Edition episode because I want to share all 0:01:21.680 --> 0:01:22.680 of that knowledge. 0:01:22.920 --> 0:01:25.160 Yes, you are my go to for advice. I know 0:01:25.240 --> 0:01:27.840 your friends and family, our listeners all ask you for advice. 0:01:27.959 --> 0:01:31.280 So that's the perfect way I think to celebrate your thirtieth. 0:01:31.319 --> 0:01:33.920 Give them your top thirty things you've learned before thirty. 0:01:34.200 --> 0:01:35.120 Yeah, I'm excited. 0:01:35.640 --> 0:01:37.600 So Anna, how are you going to celebrate your thirtieth? 0:01:37.640 --> 0:01:40.360 Has Michael got anything exciting planned for you? Or is 0:01:40.360 --> 0:01:42.200 it all surprised? Do you know anything? 0:01:42.520 --> 0:01:43.240 I think there's a. 0:01:43.200 --> 0:01:46.120 Lot of little surprises here and there. I'm having a 0:01:46.200 --> 0:01:49.960 nice lunch with one of my best friends. I'm actually 0:01:50.400 --> 0:01:54.760 doing something very out of my comfort zone today, but 0:01:55.200 --> 0:01:57.560 I'm not going to share that until a later date, 0:01:57.600 --> 0:02:00.240 but definitely stay tuned for that. We're going out out 0:02:00.280 --> 0:02:03.880 for a nice birthday celebration with my parents and Michael, 0:02:03.920 --> 0:02:08.200 which I'm really excited about. And then on Saturday, I'm 0:02:08.240 --> 0:02:13.280 actually having a white boat party, so everyone has to 0:02:13.320 --> 0:02:16.040 wear white. It's going to be a really fun time. 0:02:16.080 --> 0:02:18.800 You're coming, I definitely am. I'm excited. I've got my 0:02:18.919 --> 0:02:24.000 kit plan, have you Yeah, it's just white. Yeah, yeah, tick, 0:02:24.360 --> 0:02:26.160 I'm really excited for this white party. 0:02:26.320 --> 0:02:30.080 Have you got me a birthday Finally enough you say that. 0:02:30.240 --> 0:02:34.120 Actually, I completely forgot all about it till Jen reminded 0:02:34.160 --> 0:02:35.880 me literally like a day or two ago, and I. 0:02:35.840 --> 0:02:37.359 Was like two minutes ago. 0:02:38.040 --> 0:02:39.760 Yeah, I was like fuck. Actually, on the driving you 0:02:39.840 --> 0:02:42.440 were sending each other photos of what we think. I'll 0:02:42.480 --> 0:02:43.480 just give you a little hint. 0:02:43.800 --> 0:02:45.639 Oh, I get a hint. I'm excited. 0:02:46.160 --> 0:02:48.520 I know how much you like sentimental stuff, so a 0:02:48.560 --> 0:02:51.480 bit of it is sentimental. Yeah. 0:02:51.639 --> 0:02:54.400 Actually, to be honest, I actually did not think Matt 0:02:54.440 --> 0:02:55.560 was going to get me anything. 0:02:55.760 --> 0:02:57.320 Like I was like, there's no way I'm getting a 0:02:57.320 --> 0:02:58.040 present from Matt. 0:02:58.160 --> 0:02:59.959 To be honest, I would have remembered it like literally 0:03:00.040 --> 0:03:01.640 probably the last minute if it lost it for Jen. 0:03:01.919 --> 0:03:02.760 So shout out to. 0:03:02.800 --> 0:03:05.680 JENK thanks Jenny for reminding him. 0:03:05.919 --> 0:03:06.160 Yeah. 0:03:06.200 --> 0:03:08.840 So I'm having a boat party. All of my friends 0:03:08.880 --> 0:03:10.640 and family are going to be there. We have some 0:03:10.720 --> 0:03:13.480 people flying in from Sydney, so it's going to be 0:03:13.560 --> 0:03:18.639 a really memorable moment. And I was talking to Instagram 0:03:18.639 --> 0:03:20.960 a little bit because I was unsure if I wanted 0:03:20.960 --> 0:03:22.480 to have a party, and then I was like, you 0:03:22.520 --> 0:03:23.560 know what, fuck it. 0:03:23.840 --> 0:03:25.000 I turned thirty once. 0:03:25.320 --> 0:03:28.519 It's been a pretty shitty two years, Like, let's celebrate. 0:03:28.600 --> 0:03:31.880 And so I'm really excited to really start my thirties 0:03:31.880 --> 0:03:32.400 with a bang. 0:03:32.520 --> 0:03:34.440 I can't wait to dive into some alcohol and the 0:03:34.520 --> 0:03:37.680 open the sea. Where are we going? Just in the docklands, 0:03:37.680 --> 0:03:41.120 not out to see I'm going to do a little 0:03:41.120 --> 0:03:43.120 too well. You said that you've got a list of 0:03:43.200 --> 0:03:47.120 thirty things you've learned before turning thirty. What would you 0:03:47.160 --> 0:03:51.000 give your teenage self thirteen? Let's say, what would you 0:03:51.040 --> 0:03:52.320 say to them? What would it be? What would that 0:03:52.360 --> 0:03:57.280 advice be? Fuck so much to say just one real 0:03:57.400 --> 0:03:57.960 quick one. 0:03:58.120 --> 0:03:59.200 Look, I'll give you a couple. 0:03:59.320 --> 0:04:01.080 So I think the first thing I would say is 0:04:01.120 --> 0:04:05.440 don't worry, Like, stop worrying. Everything that's meant to be 0:04:05.560 --> 0:04:09.000 will be. Probably just live in the moment and stop 0:04:09.120 --> 0:04:12.360 racing towards the finish line, because there is no finish line. Like, 0:04:12.560 --> 0:04:15.360 just make the most of every moment. And I know 0:04:15.480 --> 0:04:17.240 when I was at school, I was always like, oh, 0:04:17.279 --> 0:04:19.040 I can't wait until I finish school, and then it 0:04:19.040 --> 0:04:21.320 was I can't wait until I finish UNI. And we're 0:04:21.320 --> 0:04:24.719 always chasing something, and I think sometimes it's good to 0:04:24.839 --> 0:04:27.760 just settle. I think say no, if you don't want 0:04:27.800 --> 0:04:31.320 to do things yeap, like stop just people pleasing. I 0:04:31.360 --> 0:04:33.039 know I did that a lot when I was younger. 0:04:33.120 --> 0:04:35.120 I kind of grew out of it more in my twenties, 0:04:35.160 --> 0:04:38.080 but it's still something that we all struggle with, Like 0:04:38.120 --> 0:04:40.440 it's hard to sometimes say no to people and feel 0:04:40.440 --> 0:04:41.920 like you could be letting someone. 0:04:41.680 --> 0:04:43.119 Down, especially cheat loved ones. 0:04:43.480 --> 0:04:45.599 Yeah, and then I think probably the last thing I 0:04:45.600 --> 0:04:49.360 would say is always be kind to other people. I 0:04:49.400 --> 0:04:53.000 feel like I get so much out of life because 0:04:53.000 --> 0:04:56.360 I always try and treat everyone equally, everyone the way 0:04:56.400 --> 0:04:58.919 I would like to be treated. And you never regret 0:04:58.920 --> 0:05:01.320 being kind to someone, You only regret being mean. 0:05:01.680 --> 0:05:03.880 Are there some good tips right there? I'm excited to 0:05:03.960 --> 0:05:07.560 hear your top thirty things you've learned before turning thirty? Yeah, 0:05:07.560 --> 0:05:09.600 but on that, did you have any goals to hit 0:05:09.680 --> 0:05:12.720 before you're thirty or have you have you achieved them? 0:05:12.800 --> 0:05:14.080 Or is that a touchy subject? 0:05:15.279 --> 0:05:17.719 Yes? I literally thought I was going to be married 0:05:17.760 --> 0:05:20.560 with two kids at this point. Like I think we 0:05:20.640 --> 0:05:24.279 all have this image and envision our life at thirty 0:05:24.320 --> 0:05:25.640 to have all of. 0:05:25.560 --> 0:05:27.920 These ducks in a row in boxes ticked off. 0:05:27.960 --> 0:05:30.720 And I know that sometimes people's lives look like their 0:05:30.800 --> 0:05:32.360 ducks are all in a row. But I think we're 0:05:32.360 --> 0:05:34.520 all just learning. We're all just kind of going with 0:05:34.560 --> 0:05:37.600 the flow. No one really knows what they're doing. And yeah, 0:05:37.800 --> 0:05:41.280 I'm not married, I don't have kids, and I think 0:05:41.360 --> 0:05:43.440 that my life has turned out even better than I 0:05:43.480 --> 0:05:44.400 could have imagined. 0:05:45.000 --> 0:05:47.360 And yeah, I think if that's what you. 0:05:47.360 --> 0:05:50.359 Wanted for yourself, not holding yourself to it and just 0:05:50.440 --> 0:05:53.000 kind of like going with the flow, that's what makes 0:05:53.000 --> 0:05:53.680 you the happiest. 0:05:53.800 --> 0:05:57.120 Yeah, we'll hypothetically say you had kids at what twenty eight, 0:05:57.279 --> 0:06:00.880 twenty seven, to have kids before thirty, didn't experience the 0:06:00.880 --> 0:06:03.000 stuff you have over the last three years, you wouldn't 0:06:03.000 --> 0:06:04.760 have met Michael, you wouldn't be in the place you are, 0:06:04.920 --> 0:06:07.360 So yeah, I don't think you would regret anything like that. 0:06:07.560 --> 0:06:08.800 Yeah, it worked out well. 0:06:08.880 --> 0:06:12.080 Like I really can look back on my twenties and 0:06:12.560 --> 0:06:16.400 really feel like I have said yes to every opportunity. 0:06:16.920 --> 0:06:18.200 I have no regrets. 0:06:18.360 --> 0:06:21.120 I think everything really panned out the way I wanted it, 0:06:21.160 --> 0:06:23.279 and I've lived a really full, happy life. 0:06:23.360 --> 0:06:25.839 So yeah, bring on the thirties. 0:06:25.960 --> 0:06:28.400 I know I spoke to you a couple of weeks ago, 0:06:28.680 --> 0:06:31.560 and you were sort of like having a realization, like 0:06:31.640 --> 0:06:36.880 a come to Jesus that you were turning thirty and 0:06:37.040 --> 0:06:39.320 you were a bit scared. Has that still there or 0:06:39.400 --> 0:06:41.000 is it now You've come to terms with it and 0:06:41.040 --> 0:06:43.000 you're ready to face the thirties. 0:06:43.400 --> 0:06:46.880 Yeah. I think a couple of months ago, I had 0:06:46.920 --> 0:06:49.800 this moment where I was like, holy fuck, I'm not 0:06:49.839 --> 0:06:53.480 in my twenties anymore. I never thought that I would 0:06:53.560 --> 0:06:55.840 leave my twenties. I think I thought that I would 0:06:55.839 --> 0:06:59.840 eternally be in my twenties. And then that realization really 0:07:00.120 --> 0:07:03.600 hit home hard, and I spoke to my Instagram sorry 0:07:03.640 --> 0:07:05.760 about it, and I had so many people reach out 0:07:05.800 --> 0:07:06.000 to me. 0:07:06.520 --> 0:07:08.960 And it's crazy because I feel like no one really 0:07:08.960 --> 0:07:10.679 talks about this, but when you're. 0:07:10.560 --> 0:07:15.200 Twenty nine heading to thirty, you do have this existential 0:07:15.320 --> 0:07:18.720 crisis and you're like, shit, like did I do enough 0:07:18.760 --> 0:07:19.640 in my twenties? 0:07:20.080 --> 0:07:22.120 Am I upset with how my twenties went. 0:07:22.160 --> 0:07:24.160 There's just all of these crazy thoughts that go through 0:07:24.200 --> 0:07:26.400 your head. And I think I felt a lot of 0:07:26.440 --> 0:07:31.880 comfort in hearing from other people, even people in their thirties, forties, fifties, whatever. 0:07:32.360 --> 0:07:34.560 So many people reached out and they were like, this 0:07:34.760 --> 0:07:38.160 is normal. We all go through this moment on the 0:07:38.240 --> 0:07:41.120 cusp of an age, like a twenty nine to thirty, 0:07:41.200 --> 0:07:43.000 thirty nine to forty, whatever it might. 0:07:42.840 --> 0:07:46.400 Be, and you go, shit, did I do everything I. 0:07:46.360 --> 0:07:49.080 Needed to do in that decade? Am I proud of myself? 0:07:49.160 --> 0:07:51.360 Could I have done better? What can I learn from it? 0:07:51.680 --> 0:07:54.120 And I think it's really good for personal growth and 0:07:54.160 --> 0:07:56.960 development to have those moments, because otherwise you just cot 0:07:56.960 --> 0:08:00.160 through life. I mean, if you were going to be 0:08:00.200 --> 0:08:02.480 twenty forever just being like, who gives a shit, I'm 0:08:02.520 --> 0:08:04.480 in my twenties still, I can do whatever, And I 0:08:04.480 --> 0:08:07.480 think sometimes you need to take that step over and 0:08:07.560 --> 0:08:11.120 start a new chapter. And yeah, I feel like totally 0:08:11.160 --> 0:08:12.640 comfortable with being thirty now. 0:08:12.760 --> 0:08:14.360 I'm ready to smash it. 0:08:14.440 --> 0:08:17.239 I have so many goals that I want to achieve 0:08:17.320 --> 0:08:19.560 in this decade and I'm just excited now. 0:08:19.920 --> 0:08:23.560 Big ten years ahead for Anna. I mean, I I'm 0:08:23.600 --> 0:08:25.520 three years off the Big three to zero, So to me, 0:08:25.600 --> 0:08:27.640 I'm going to be twenty forever in my twenties forever. 0:08:28.280 --> 0:08:31.360 Matt still in that mindset, Yeah, okay, he'll come to 0:08:31.440 --> 0:08:33.200 me crying and weeping soon. 0:08:33.440 --> 0:08:35.719 In a couple of years from now. All right, Well, 0:08:35.760 --> 0:08:38.360 so you've come to terms of turning thirty. Let's jump 0:08:38.400 --> 0:08:40.280 into it and see what tips and advice you have 0:08:40.320 --> 0:08:40.880 for everyone. 0:08:41.000 --> 0:08:41.760 Let's do it. 0:08:45.160 --> 0:08:47.000 All right, So let's start with the dating tips and 0:08:47.000 --> 0:08:49.240 advice you have. Let's start with number one. 0:08:49.600 --> 0:08:53.880 Okay, number one is no response is the biggest response. 0:08:54.040 --> 0:08:55.320 Took me a while to realize that. 0:08:55.640 --> 0:08:58.199 Yeah, I feel like we don't learn that early enough. 0:08:58.360 --> 0:09:00.440 We need to be schooled on that more. That's why 0:09:00.440 --> 0:09:02.559 I wanted that to be number one. Yeah, it's a 0:09:02.559 --> 0:09:06.319 big one. Number two, never give someone credit for work 0:09:06.360 --> 0:09:08.240 they haven't done. I e. 0:09:09.000 --> 0:09:10.360 Never fake an orgasm. 0:09:13.920 --> 0:09:17.080 No, never, And I think I was shocked to realize 0:09:17.080 --> 0:09:20.400 that a lot of people do, like almost everyone, And 0:09:20.480 --> 0:09:24.080 I just think like, it's all about communication and relationships, 0:09:24.200 --> 0:09:28.120 and yeah, don't give that credit if someone's. 0:09:27.880 --> 0:09:28.720 Not put in the work. 0:09:28.880 --> 0:09:30.280 I've never had anyone fake one. 0:09:31.040 --> 0:09:32.480 I'm sure you have, Matt. 0:09:32.920 --> 0:09:33.760 I'm sure. 0:09:35.080 --> 0:09:39.120 Madd just loves the performance. Probably even GUYI fuilled up 0:09:39.160 --> 0:09:39.640 that ego. 0:09:40.559 --> 0:09:41.760 I put myself over all right. 0:09:41.840 --> 0:09:46.240 Number three, don't spend your time in insecure relationships. Either 0:09:46.320 --> 0:09:50.080 trust them one hundred percent or don't bother massive massive. 0:09:49.880 --> 0:09:54.120 We've both been in insecure relationships, and it is toxic. 0:09:54.320 --> 0:09:55.800 It sucks toxic. 0:09:55.840 --> 0:09:57.439 If you don't feel like you can trust someone, you 0:09:57.480 --> 0:09:58.960 shouldn't be in a relationship with them. 0:09:59.400 --> 0:10:01.000 Number four, if. 0:10:00.800 --> 0:10:03.200 Someone wants to be with you, you won't question it. 0:10:03.960 --> 0:10:05.600 One hundred percent. I agree with that. 0:10:05.960 --> 0:10:09.200 You just know, like, if you're questioning things and being like, well, 0:10:09.200 --> 0:10:11.320 why are they doing this, why they're acting in that way, 0:10:11.520 --> 0:10:13.880 why they're out till six am with the boys, it's 0:10:13.920 --> 0:10:16.760 probably because they don't want to be with you, And 0:10:16.760 --> 0:10:18.000 that's a hard pill to swallow. 0:10:18.000 --> 0:10:19.920 A bit trust someone's actions. 0:10:20.320 --> 0:10:21.800 Number five, if. 0:10:21.600 --> 0:10:26.880 Someone ghosts, you respect the dead and move the fuck on. 0:10:27.559 --> 0:10:29.240 I have to agree with this one hundred percent. I 0:10:29.400 --> 0:10:32.160 struggle when someone would used to ghost me. I'd send 0:10:32.160 --> 0:10:34.840 them that because I'm I think that'd be more my 0:10:34.920 --> 0:10:37.560 ego more than yeah. I'd send them another text and 0:10:37.640 --> 0:10:40.880 be like, did you die? Yeah, Hey, you alive? So 0:10:41.000 --> 0:10:46.120 your Instagram posts? If I was keen on if there 0:10:46.120 --> 0:10:48.240 was a relationship was dead, I'd just let it be ghosted. 0:10:48.320 --> 0:10:50.960 But yeah, but you know what, when someone ghosts you, 0:10:51.040 --> 0:10:55.120 people go, oh, but they haven't communicated with me, And 0:10:55.200 --> 0:10:57.520 I think the key point to remember is they have 0:10:57.720 --> 0:10:58.640 communicated with you. 0:10:58.679 --> 0:11:02.000 They've communicated that you're not even worth a text. 0:11:02.120 --> 0:11:04.960 Back to number one, no response is the biggest response, exactly, 0:11:05.520 --> 0:11:08.319 all right. Number six, You're. 0:11:08.160 --> 0:11:11.079 Going to break people's hearts along the way, and what 0:11:11.160 --> 0:11:13.400 other people think of you is none of your business. 0:11:14.720 --> 0:11:14.960 Yeah. 0:11:15.040 --> 0:11:18.760 I think in dating we get really called up in 0:11:18.880 --> 0:11:20.800 Oh my god, they must not like me. And if 0:11:20.840 --> 0:11:22.760 they don't like me, their friends probably don't like me. 0:11:23.040 --> 0:11:25.040 And I think it's really important to really take a 0:11:25.080 --> 0:11:27.840 step back and realize when you're in the dating world, 0:11:28.080 --> 0:11:29.400 you're going to hurt some feelings. 0:11:30.000 --> 0:11:30.680 Number seven. 0:11:31.080 --> 0:11:38.200 Stop ignoring red flags just because they're hot, Matt. 0:11:38.880 --> 0:11:43.760 It's undirected you for girls to me or from me 0:11:43.960 --> 0:11:44.600 to girls. 0:11:46.720 --> 0:11:47.720 You should stop ignoring. 0:11:49.080 --> 0:11:52.720 Yeah, I caught myself there a couple of time. Number eight. 0:11:53.120 --> 0:11:56.080 You'll never meet anyone sitting at home watching TV. If 0:11:56.160 --> 0:11:58.480 you want to meet someone, you need to put yourself 0:11:58.520 --> 0:12:00.960 out there. A lot of my friends do this. They're like, 0:12:00.960 --> 0:12:02.760 but I'm still single, and I'm like, but you're still 0:12:02.760 --> 0:12:05.680 at home watching TV. If you want to meet someone, 0:12:06.120 --> 0:12:07.440 you need to put yourself out there. 0:12:07.480 --> 0:12:09.560 Do you mean going to like bars to try and 0:12:09.559 --> 0:12:12.240 meet someone, or do you mean like going on dating apps, 0:12:12.240 --> 0:12:13.880 because I think both of them you're not going to 0:12:14.040 --> 0:12:16.280 meet the right person at either one of those. I 0:12:16.320 --> 0:12:19.679 think they come into your life at like random, weird stages. 0:12:19.880 --> 0:12:20.160 They do. 0:12:20.240 --> 0:12:22.400 But sometimes you need those in between people. 0:12:22.400 --> 0:12:24.640 And you can meet those in between people at a bar, 0:12:25.080 --> 0:12:27.000 at a nightclub socializing. 0:12:27.240 --> 0:12:28.800 Someone could meet you and be like, oh my god, 0:12:28.840 --> 0:12:30.240 you'd be perfect for my single friend. 0:12:30.320 --> 0:12:32.960 Like, the more you're out there, the more chance there is, 0:12:33.000 --> 0:12:35.240 and the more the likelihood of you meeting someone is 0:12:35.280 --> 0:12:35.840 going to be. 0:12:35.800 --> 0:12:38.679 The more opportunities you're opening, the more doors are being opened. Correct, 0:12:38.920 --> 0:12:39.240 all right? 0:12:39.320 --> 0:12:42.920 Number nine, stop waiting for guys to approach you. 0:12:43.040 --> 0:12:45.600 If you like what you see, go and introduce yourself. 0:12:45.880 --> 0:12:49.440 Massive one, because as a guy myself, there is nothing hotter, 0:12:49.720 --> 0:12:52.240 well I think more attractive than a girl with confidence 0:12:52.240 --> 0:12:53.400 who comes up and talks to you. 0:12:53.600 --> 0:12:55.560 That's how I met Michael, and that's how I met 0:12:55.600 --> 0:12:57.599 the guy who I was in a six and a 0:12:57.640 --> 0:13:00.240 half year relationship with, and he actually said to me, 0:13:00.280 --> 0:13:01.839 I would have never come up and said hi to 0:13:01.880 --> 0:13:04.599 you because I felt intimidated. So if I wouldn't have 0:13:04.679 --> 0:13:07.640 made that first move, it wouldn't have happened. Number ten, 0:13:08.360 --> 0:13:13.480 stop making yourself two available. Never cancel plans on friends 0:13:13.480 --> 0:13:16.280 and family just to please your partner, Like, stop putting 0:13:16.280 --> 0:13:19.840 your partner first, stop revolving your life around them. 0:13:20.240 --> 0:13:22.319 Okay, that's a big one. Number eleven. 0:13:22.679 --> 0:13:26.880 Set boundaries easily and quickly in relationships. I think we 0:13:27.040 --> 0:13:30.000 all fall into this trap of trying to please your 0:13:30.040 --> 0:13:32.600 partner or trying to please someone who you're seeing, and 0:13:32.640 --> 0:13:36.520 you forget to set those basic boundaries that you need 0:13:36.840 --> 0:13:38.400 to feel happy in a relationship. 0:13:38.480 --> 0:13:40.280 Did you feel like you set them earlier with Michael? 0:13:40.480 --> 0:13:41.000 Definitely? 0:13:41.320 --> 0:13:43.959 And I think that's why our relationship has been really 0:13:44.000 --> 0:13:47.400 successful because I was not afraid to put those boundaries 0:13:47.440 --> 0:13:50.080 in place. And I think when I look back to 0:13:50.280 --> 0:13:54.120 previous guys who I might have dated before Michael, like 0:13:54.160 --> 0:13:57.080 I wasn't really that serious about them, So those boundaries 0:13:57.240 --> 0:14:00.560 won't set one hundred percent. And the boundies that I 0:14:00.559 --> 0:14:02.920 had never put up were cross but they had no 0:14:03.000 --> 0:14:03.800 idea because I'd. 0:14:03.720 --> 0:14:04.360 Never set them. 0:14:04.559 --> 0:14:06.600 I set the boundaries really early with Jen as well, 0:14:06.640 --> 0:14:08.840 or what we both did. We both set our boundaries 0:14:08.880 --> 0:14:11.199 and we both respected them, so we have a healthy 0:14:11.200 --> 0:14:13.439 relationship now. Yeah, So that's a very good point. 0:14:14.200 --> 0:14:18.520 Number twelve everyone has different love languages, and just because 0:14:18.679 --> 0:14:22.200 someone expresses love in a certain way doesn't mean they 0:14:22.240 --> 0:14:25.200 receive it in that way. I think I learned about 0:14:25.240 --> 0:14:28.480 love languages way too late in life. Same I reckon 0:14:28.520 --> 0:14:30.480 maybe in the last like three or four years I 0:14:30.600 --> 0:14:33.040 learned about love languages, and it's such a big thing, 0:14:33.120 --> 0:14:37.200 and it's really crucial and critical in building relationships with people. 0:14:37.520 --> 0:14:39.840 Yeah, I agree one hundred percent. Like if you click 0:14:39.920 --> 0:14:42.320 and have the same love language, it's giving receiving. As 0:14:42.360 --> 0:14:45.160 your partner, you're very lucky. But it's not all the 0:14:45.200 --> 0:14:47.560 time that people have that, so you've got to work 0:14:47.600 --> 0:14:49.880 around it and find a way that you're both satisfied 0:14:50.280 --> 0:14:52.480 on that as well as I've learned how people deal 0:14:52.520 --> 0:14:55.480 with stuff, your partner deals with stuff, because Jen and 0:14:55.560 --> 0:14:57.640 I have found into a trap where we both deal 0:14:57.680 --> 0:15:01.880 with stuff a lot differently, and that's been struggle. Yeah, 0:15:01.960 --> 0:15:05.000 all right, there are some hot tips there about dating Anna. Next, 0:15:05.000 --> 0:15:07.360 we're going to find out what you've learned about self 0:15:07.400 --> 0:15:13.000 love and growth, all right, and so here are some 0:15:13.080 --> 0:15:15.440 things you've learned about self love and growth. We're going 0:15:15.520 --> 0:15:17.040 to kick it off with number thirteen. 0:15:17.680 --> 0:15:21.200 So thirteen is know your worth and don't lower your 0:15:21.320 --> 0:15:22.960 expectations ever. 0:15:23.840 --> 0:15:25.960 I think we've all been guilty of this. 0:15:26.560 --> 0:15:30.520 We see someone that could potentially be a match for us, 0:15:30.520 --> 0:15:33.200 but they're not quite there, and then we just take 0:15:33.240 --> 0:15:36.720 a few of our expectations away so that they can 0:15:36.760 --> 0:15:38.920 fit the mold or fit the box that we want 0:15:38.960 --> 0:15:41.160 them to be in, and this doesn't work out. 0:15:41.320 --> 0:15:45.000 Never settle, Never settle, all right? Number fourteen, Anna. 0:15:45.040 --> 0:15:49.320 Stop searching for mister right and become the best version 0:15:49.560 --> 0:15:53.200 of you because you're in a lifelong relationship with yourself. 0:15:53.800 --> 0:15:57.040 Don't look for mister right and make yourself missus right. 0:15:57.240 --> 0:15:58.200 Is that what you're trying to say? 0:15:58.240 --> 0:16:00.080 That is what I'm trying to say. 0:16:00.880 --> 0:16:01.680 Number fifteen. 0:16:02.280 --> 0:16:05.680 Self love must always be stronger than your need and 0:16:05.840 --> 0:16:08.600 want to be loved. I know that you are guilty 0:16:08.640 --> 0:16:10.520 of this, man, I've been guilty of this. 0:16:10.960 --> 0:16:14.560 Self love must come before everything. And sometimes we get 0:16:14.600 --> 0:16:15.640 a bit desperate and. 0:16:15.560 --> 0:16:20.640 We just want and crave human affection, human touch, human love, 0:16:20.920 --> 0:16:24.320 and sometimes you need to go no, that's not for me. 0:16:24.920 --> 0:16:26.520 I'm going to focus on myself. 0:16:26.680 --> 0:16:29.160 I know this sounds cliche, but you need to learn 0:16:29.160 --> 0:16:33.680 to love yourself before you love anyone else. Yeah, for sure, number. 0:16:33.360 --> 0:16:36.800 Sixteen, Stop going out of your way to impress your partner. 0:16:37.080 --> 0:16:37.600 Just be you. 0:16:38.200 --> 0:16:40.560 There's only one of you, and you don't want them 0:16:40.600 --> 0:16:43.360 to fall in love with someone else. You want them 0:16:43.400 --> 0:16:45.080 to fall in love with the person you are. 0:16:45.520 --> 0:16:47.640 That's fair enough, But we all know that when you 0:16:47.720 --> 0:16:51.000 start dating someone and you start like seeing someone, you're 0:16:51.000 --> 0:16:52.920 not completely showing them all those. 0:16:52.840 --> 0:16:57.000 Hidden of course, but you yeah, like there's definitely things 0:16:57.040 --> 0:16:58.920 you might like hide for later, like a bit of 0:16:58.960 --> 0:17:02.360 crazy at the bag, but in the same breath, like, 0:17:02.760 --> 0:17:04.960 don't want to show them a totally different person to 0:17:05.000 --> 0:17:08.080 who you are. Like even just something as simple as 0:17:08.119 --> 0:17:10.600 if someone's like, oh, I love peas and you hate peas, 0:17:10.640 --> 0:17:12.880 and you're like, I love peace too, and then three 0:17:12.880 --> 0:17:16.639 months into the relationship they're like, I thought you liked peace. 0:17:16.880 --> 0:17:19.800 You know, it's something that simple, like just be you, 0:17:20.200 --> 0:17:21.000 be authentic. 0:17:21.080 --> 0:17:24.280 I think that's the key point to that number seventeen. 0:17:25.040 --> 0:17:29.040 If you have non negotiables, don't compromise so you don't 0:17:29.119 --> 0:17:31.800 end up alone. A lot of the things I've learned 0:17:32.119 --> 0:17:38.640 is about not compromising who you are, your position, your self, love, 0:17:39.320 --> 0:17:42.480 your own growth, just to be with a partner. And 0:17:42.520 --> 0:17:45.200 I think we all do that, so I definitely wanted 0:17:45.200 --> 0:17:46.440 to make that point clear. 0:17:46.720 --> 0:17:49.440 Good point Number eighteen, How do. 0:17:49.400 --> 0:17:52.879 You expect there to be change if you've not made 0:17:53.000 --> 0:17:54.840 any changes to yourself? 0:17:55.600 --> 0:17:57.800 What does that mean change with other people? 0:17:58.160 --> 0:18:01.320 Yeah? I think if you keep having the same relationship problems, 0:18:01.320 --> 0:18:04.480 and I know you know, we can all have toxic relationships, 0:18:04.520 --> 0:18:07.280 we can be with partners who don't align with us. 0:18:07.320 --> 0:18:10.840 But if there's something that you continue to do in relationships, 0:18:10.880 --> 0:18:13.840 like I used to be extremely jealous, I'm still jealous, 0:18:13.880 --> 0:18:15.240 but I've definitely worked on. 0:18:15.200 --> 0:18:15.840 That a lot. 0:18:16.359 --> 0:18:18.720 I think it's mainly just about self growth, like keep 0:18:18.800 --> 0:18:22.160 improving yourself, keep working on yourself and being the best 0:18:22.240 --> 0:18:23.080 version of yourself. 0:18:23.160 --> 0:18:26.959