1
00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:03,040
Speaker 1: I'm my Boris, and this is straight talk. I have

2
00:00:03,120 --> 00:00:05,760
Speaker 1: the career I have because of the brain that I've got,

3
00:00:05,920 --> 00:00:12,240
Speaker 1: But this brain that I've got nearly killed me. I

4
00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:15,880
Speaker 1: was a very anxious kid. I remember hiding under the

5
00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:17,600
Speaker 1: bed trying to get away from something, but I couldn't

6
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:19,160
Speaker 1: get away from it because it was in my body.

7
00:00:19,239 --> 00:00:22,759
Speaker 1: And then sometime around the age of fourteen, I found

8
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:25,520
Speaker 1: this magical elixir that made everything kind of just kind

9
00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:27,920
Speaker 1: of turned down. You know, at first it was fun,

10
00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:29,960
Speaker 1: then it was fun with problems, and it's just problems,

11
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,440
Speaker 1: all right, And I couldn't stop the problems. There's this

12
00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:36,479
Speaker 1: loud zoo line, be careful of the direction that you

13
00:00:36,479 --> 00:00:38,519
Speaker 1: were headed. You may just stand up there. And it

14
00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:41,040
Speaker 1: was very clear to me that I know when it ends.

15
00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:44,199
Speaker 1: I was drinking to blackout since yeah, since I was

16
00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:47,360
Speaker 1: fourteen to win thirty six. Wow. Yeah.

17
00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:50,960
Speaker 2: When I see you in television, you look like a healthy,

18
00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:55,080
Speaker 2: well put together, you know, like a competent, great performer.

19
00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:58,040
Speaker 1: Well. I work was always the respite, though. When I'm

20
00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:03,720
Speaker 1: on camera, God, bliss man, all the anxiety. Everything's quiet.

21
00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:06,200
Speaker 1: I'm in it, man. Everything else is hard. That's the

22
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:10,679
Speaker 1: easy part. Well into straight to a mate, Mark, I'm

23
00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:11,560
Speaker 1: thrilled to be here.

24
00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:15,440
Speaker 2: First question for you, apart from a mean question for you, mate,

25
00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:17,760
Speaker 2: but first question for you is, when I was doing

26
00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:21,680
Speaker 2: my research your name's Andrew, was was where does Asha

27
00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:22,800
Speaker 2: come from?

28
00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:26,320
Speaker 1: That's pretty out there, like it is. It's the Hebrew

29
00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:30,560
Speaker 1: word for happiness. Really, yes, and it's quite a long story.

30
00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:34,440
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not the only person to have changed

31
00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:37,640
Speaker 1: my name as an adult. You're the son of immigrants.

32
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:39,720
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure that they were known to their colleagues

33
00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:42,080
Speaker 1: by a name that their mother didn't give them. Yeah, totally.

34
00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:45,360
Speaker 2: Well, like all my uncle's names, for nothing to do

35
00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:46,360
Speaker 2: with their Australian name.

36
00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:49,920
Speaker 1: Precisely. Both my parents changed their names better with the

37
00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:55,000
Speaker 1: mag The Lennar became Rufe. Yeah. And Michel my dad,

38
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,080
Speaker 1: who's eighty today. He was born on d Day. Wow,

39
00:01:57,560 --> 00:02:00,200
Speaker 1: that's a heck of a story that one. He Ye

40
00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:05,280
Speaker 1: he was he became Michael. Yet. I'm pretty sure you've

41
00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:08,560
Speaker 1: got kids, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, So you've changed your name.

42
00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:11,200
Speaker 1: There's I've changed my name. Everyone, every man who's got

43
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:14,120
Speaker 1: a child has changed their name. There's a name that

44
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,520
Speaker 1: only one person or two people in the world call them,

45
00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:21,040
Speaker 1: and it changes who they are Dad. Yeah, when you

46
00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:24,200
Speaker 1: get called dad, it's a name that only this I'm

47
00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:27,799
Speaker 1: not called pop. Well even better, when you're called this name,

48
00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:30,040
Speaker 1: it changes who you are as a person, and it

49
00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:31,959
Speaker 1: changes what you're about to, changes how you relate to

50
00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:34,000
Speaker 1: this person, and it changes the values that you have

51
00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:36,880
Speaker 1: and that your actions and values away from that person.

52
00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:39,480
Speaker 1: As I'm sure the same thing happened with happened with

53
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:42,399
Speaker 1: my stepdaughter, right, didn't I did not even my biological

54
00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:45,400
Speaker 1: it happened with my stepdaughter. My actions and my value

55
00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:47,800
Speaker 1: is changed completely once this person came into my life,

56
00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:51,560
Speaker 1: all right, So names are really really important. There was

57
00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:56,679
Speaker 1: a I'm not necessarily believing in any kind of interventionist

58
00:02:57,360 --> 00:03:02,320
Speaker 1: god or anything, but there was an experience that I

59
00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:04,320
Speaker 1: had with a shaman who said, oh, like, if you

60
00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:06,560
Speaker 1: change a name of change your life. I'm like, I

61
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:09,560
Speaker 1: can't help, can't hurt. I'll give it a shot. And

62
00:03:09,639 --> 00:03:13,160
Speaker 1: so privately I kind of did it. And there's a

63
00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:14,760
Speaker 1: lot to be said. I think it's more of a

64
00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:17,320
Speaker 1: kind of nominated determinism kind of thing. The way I

65
00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:22,440
Speaker 1: saw myself changed publicly, it was definitely a delineation between

66
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:29,400
Speaker 1: drinking and using and sobriety and it happened during that period. Yes, absolutely,

67
00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:35,119
Speaker 1: and it was an opportunity as the man that mentors

68
00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:37,960
Speaker 1: me through my journey of In our Super Secret Sober

69
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:42,000
Speaker 1: Club when we talk about, you know, things that happened

70
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:45,240
Speaker 1: when I was still drinking and using and using alcohol

71
00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:47,240
Speaker 1: and things like this, said, well, the good news for

72
00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:49,000
Speaker 1: years you don't have. You get to live the rest

73
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,400
Speaker 1: of your life not being that guy anymore. So putting

74
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,480
Speaker 1: a name on that guy really helped me. Is it

75
00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:56,240
Speaker 1: actually a technique or is it a belief? In other words,

76
00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:57,000
Speaker 1: is it.

77
00:03:56,920 --> 00:04:00,360
Speaker 2: A technique to do identify yourself from this hell then

78
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:00,840
Speaker 2: brought us?

79
00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:03,720
Speaker 1: When he steps out on stage, people don't so cee

80
00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:06,320
Speaker 1: A L V I N B No, they say s

81
00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:10,520
Speaker 1: N double opd O double jer zy. You know who

82
00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:13,320
Speaker 1: you are the way you talk about yourself, the name

83
00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:16,839
Speaker 1: you put upon yourself changes who you are outwardly. I

84
00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:19,960
Speaker 1: think it's an internal thing. Absolutely. Missus Carrington, Miss sorry,

85
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:23,400
Speaker 1: Miss Carrington left at the end of grade too. See

86
00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:25,240
Speaker 1: him as Carrington, have a good summer, kids, no worries.

87
00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:29,719
Speaker 1: Three months later, Missus Smith, same lady, different clothes, different aircut,

88
00:04:29,839 --> 00:04:31,960
Speaker 1: completely different way of being with us. She got married

89
00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:34,080
Speaker 1: over the summer, so she changed the name and it

90
00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:34,880
Speaker 1: changed who she was.

91
00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:38,400
Speaker 2: It's a very interesting as an what you've just talked

92
00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:42,279
Speaker 2: with and is a great example of plasticity neuroplasticity.

93
00:04:42,279 --> 00:04:44,680
Speaker 1: In other words, we are.

94
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:49,320
Speaker 2: Who we believe we are, and then we can continually

95
00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:51,560
Speaker 2: affirm in our own mind, throw actions and throw other

96
00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:54,400
Speaker 2: people's actions to us that we are that individual. So

97
00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:57,240
Speaker 2: that becomes our story that if you want to change

98
00:04:57,240 --> 00:04:58,400
Speaker 2: who you are, you can.

99
00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:01,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what the brain can do. The brain has

100
00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:03,120
Speaker 1: how that every single one of us have, but not

101
00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:05,840
Speaker 1: many of us tap into it. I've been very sick

102
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:07,599
Speaker 1: in my life, so sick that I needed to be

103
00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:10,760
Speaker 1: on two kinds of antipsychotics and NSRI and an SSRI.

104
00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:14,320
Speaker 1: So I knew that my brain could change the way

105
00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:16,880
Speaker 1: it felt about things, but at that point my brain

106
00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:19,040
Speaker 1: could not do it all right. I needed those meds

107
00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:21,479
Speaker 1: to loosen those switches up again. But there's the superpower

108
00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:24,360
Speaker 1: that all humans face, so that when we have a healthy,

109
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:27,880
Speaker 1: is healthy, healthier brain, we can choose how we feel

110
00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:31,360
Speaker 1: about something. We decide. No one, no one makes you

111
00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:34,600
Speaker 1: feel happy or sad. You're the one that chooses that.

112
00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:36,640
Speaker 1: You may not realize you're choosing it. It may be based

113
00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:39,520
Speaker 1: upon something that happened to you fifty years ago, but

114
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:42,160
Speaker 1: ultimately you decide it and you can decide to do

115
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:44,960
Speaker 1: something else about it if you take the time to

116
00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:47,960
Speaker 1: investigate it. And it starts with two super powerful words.

117
00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:53,039
Speaker 1: I'm noticing. I'm noticing my breath quicknick, I'm noticing my

118
00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:56,279
Speaker 1: tummy feels a bit strange, and noticing my hands are Oh,

119
00:05:56,279 --> 00:06:00,200
Speaker 1: I'm getting angry. Ah, I'll take a moment here. Don't

120
00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,239
Speaker 1: want to do or say something that I don't because

121
00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:04,520
Speaker 1: last time this happened, I said something or did something

122
00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:07,640
Speaker 1: that I made a lot of problems. So it just

123
00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:10,880
Speaker 1: starts with noticing, just takes It's like doing burpies for

124
00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:15,040
Speaker 1: your brain, all right, just noticing. Like everyone fucking hates burpies, man,

125
00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:17,479
Speaker 1: you know what, because they're fucking good. It's the reason

126
00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:18,960
Speaker 1: you see nobody on the rowing machine at the gym

127
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:20,880
Speaker 1: because it's the fucking hardest thing in there and it'll

128
00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:24,400
Speaker 1: do everything in twenty minutes. You're fucked. Yeah, same with this,

129
00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:28,520
Speaker 1: Like I'm noticing. That's literally like doing burpies for your brain.

130
00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:30,280
Speaker 1: It's been a minute, Just a minute, put a time

131
00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:32,360
Speaker 1: on your phone and just notice everything you can hear,

132
00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,479
Speaker 1: and then start to notice everything you can feel in

133
00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:36,240
Speaker 1: your body, your socks and your feet, your shirt on

134
00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:39,320
Speaker 1: your back, each behind your ear, the weird little thing

135
00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,039
Speaker 1: you got on your knee from playing touch on the weekend,

136
00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:44,120
Speaker 1: whatever it is. Just what you're doing is you're getting

137
00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:47,719
Speaker 1: your brain to get used to having the observing mind

138
00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:51,919
Speaker 1: come into the playing game rather than just the thinking mind.

139
00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:55,400
Speaker 1: That's just reactionary the thinking mind. The thinking mind is

140
00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:58,680
Speaker 1: like I used to have a yellow lab. Shees white lab.

141
00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:01,159
Speaker 1: She's the best thing ever. When she and a frisbee

142
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:04,919
Speaker 1: got together, was brilliant, all right. The thinking mind is

143
00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:09,080
Speaker 1: my old lab chasing that frisbee. The observing mind is

144
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:11,120
Speaker 1: sitting on a park bench watching that lab chase the

145
00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:14,200
Speaker 1: frisbe on to a freeway. All right. But the thinking

146
00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:16,440
Speaker 1: mind cannot see that chasing the frisbee right now is

147
00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:18,760
Speaker 1: not a good idea. But the observing mind can. The

148
00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:21,720
Speaker 1: observing mind go oh wait and bring it back. And

149
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:25,040
Speaker 1: getting our observing mind into the game. That takes practice,

150
00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:27,880
Speaker 1: takes work, But once you start getting used to it,

151
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:31,560
Speaker 1: once becoming more automatic, that can really really change things

152
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:32,480
Speaker 1: for you. That's mad.

153
00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:34,880
Speaker 2: I'm an often too about the O being an observer

154
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,120
Speaker 2: or being a participant, and you know we're going to

155
00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:40,920
Speaker 2: do both, but too often when we're overly participating, we

156
00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:43,720
Speaker 2: forget to observe. And you know, that's when issues arise

157
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:46,400
Speaker 2: with things drop down between the cracks because we forget

158
00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:49,680
Speaker 2: about we forget to do the broader strategic things because

159
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:52,200
Speaker 2: we're just doing tactical things like we're going to work

160
00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:55,240
Speaker 2: every day, getting up every day, going to work every day,

161
00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:59,920
Speaker 2: kissing someone weo'red by patting the dog, giving the key

162
00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:02,680
Speaker 2: is a hard go to work, work, work, work, get home,

163
00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:05,440
Speaker 2: have you dinner, go to bed, blah blah, and we

164
00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:07,840
Speaker 2: forget about making an observation. Wait a minute, what the

165
00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:10,520
Speaker 2: hell am I doing here? What's what's what's actually my

166
00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:14,160
Speaker 2: strategy around all this? And I wouldn't mind parking that

167
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:15,720
Speaker 2: for a bit, and just I'll come back to because

168
00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:16,960
Speaker 2: I want to ask you a question.

169
00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:20,480
Speaker 1: You were born in England? Was yep? How long were

170
00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:21,400
Speaker 1: you did you live in England?

171
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:22,080
Speaker 2: Baby?

172
00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,920
Speaker 1: Yeah? So like three months? Four months? So he came

173
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,120
Speaker 1: to a straight straight after that. Yeah, yeah, okay, So

174
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,240
Speaker 1: in Australia were brought up, which brought up in which

175
00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:32,240
Speaker 1: part of us a straight? I did the well, the

176
00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:35,600
Speaker 1: sand pit kind of stuff in Adelaide and then everything

177
00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:41,040
Speaker 1: else in Brisbane. Right, So, at what point did you realize.

178
00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:44,800
Speaker 2: That you would have a well that you wanted in

179
00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:47,720
Speaker 2: fact a career in media or was that not something

180
00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:48,559
Speaker 2: you did earlier on?

181
00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:59,640
Speaker 1: I was a very anxious kid, which means what like crowds,

182
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:04,199
Speaker 1: like aren't out socializing everything, like real like big anxiety

183
00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:07,320
Speaker 1: and like big feelings in my body, feelings I couldn't

184
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:10,400
Speaker 1: escape from. I remember hiding under the bed trying to

185
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,079
Speaker 1: get away from something, but I couldn't get away from

186
00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:14,000
Speaker 1: it because it was in my body. You know, this feeling,

187
00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:18,120
Speaker 1: this horrible feeling was in my body my time. I

188
00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:20,000
Speaker 1: got to Bruis where my parents went to see like

189
00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:22,120
Speaker 1: what's going on in the fire. My parents are both doctors,

190
00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:25,199
Speaker 1: so they understand someone's up here beyond their expertise, so

191
00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:27,079
Speaker 1: they sent me to as what's going on with a

192
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:28,920
Speaker 1: five year old that you sent them to a psychiatrist

193
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:30,800
Speaker 1: like that, Well, that's what was happening. It was like

194
00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,400
Speaker 1: probably the one there. It was nineteen seventy nine, and

195
00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:36,599
Speaker 1: there was this fear and this kind of anxiety that

196
00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:40,520
Speaker 1: was just with me everywhere, And I guess, like, I'm

197
00:09:40,559 --> 00:09:44,199
Speaker 1: not alone in doing this. It's semmed from a lack

198
00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:47,319
Speaker 1: of I think, looking back at as an adult, a

199
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:51,840
Speaker 1: lack of patrol over a situation, and later on as

200
00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:55,400
Speaker 1: I got when I got diagnosed with social anxiety, one

201
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:58,720
Speaker 1: of the symptoms was being big, being really big, because

202
00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:00,880
Speaker 1: if I'm terrified of your thought about me, at least

203
00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:02,040
Speaker 1: I want to try and be in control of your

204
00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:04,360
Speaker 1: thoughts about me, so I'll give you at least something

205
00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:07,880
Speaker 1: quite large to react to. Therefore I know what you're

206
00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:09,880
Speaker 1: reacting to, rather than just having to deal with what

207
00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:13,520
Speaker 1: you might be as in a performance, I would talk

208
00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:16,400
Speaker 1: loudly and elevators and I would make it. I was, yeah,

209
00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:18,800
Speaker 1: that was like German stuff. I was a child. It's

210
00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:21,680
Speaker 1: just like big. I was about the age of eight

211
00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:27,080
Speaker 1: when I went to a like a like I said,

212
00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:29,040
Speaker 1: I don't believe it. An individual is gone. Probably a

213
00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:30,439
Speaker 1: lot of it has to do with the amount of

214
00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:32,440
Speaker 1: it that was rammed down my throat at the schooling

215
00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:34,920
Speaker 1: that I had, and it certainly didn't make sense to

216
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:38,520
Speaker 1: me then makes less now, But every Friday, we would

217
00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:41,080
Speaker 1: have a play that each class would take a turn

218
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,840
Speaker 1: to make a play or a sketch or something about

219
00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:46,559
Speaker 1: I don't know, picking up rubbish at the schoolyard or

220
00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:48,760
Speaker 1: you know, whatever you do, don't masturbate A cheese is

221
00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:51,640
Speaker 1: always watching like that kind of school, right, And so

222
00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:53,920
Speaker 1: I walk out on stage. It was our turn. I

223
00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:56,720
Speaker 1: walk out on stage and there's just like three hundred

224
00:10:56,760 --> 00:11:00,719
Speaker 1: promocycool kids, just like cooy car black like that. And

225
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:03,720
Speaker 1: the line was something along the lines of don't commute

226
00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:05,800
Speaker 1: usin poured it in the bin something like that. It

227
00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:08,280
Speaker 1: was about picking up r wish it was a break.

228
00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:12,520
Speaker 1: And then I laugh And that was like the first

229
00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:16,680
Speaker 1: high that I was like, ah, because all this feeling

230
00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:19,520
Speaker 1: only happened when I was on stage. The reaction of

231
00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:22,840
Speaker 1: that response only just unleashed the thing in me, all

232
00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:25,320
Speaker 1: the anxiety. Everything just looked quiet. It was like, oh,

233
00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:27,920
Speaker 1: this is amazing, because what am I. I'm in control here,

234
00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:31,520
Speaker 1: I'm talking. You're all quite amazing. I know what happens next.

235
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:35,000
Speaker 1: This is brilliant. And so I kind of chased that.

236
00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:38,640
Speaker 1: So my coping mechanism kind of became my career. But

237
00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:42,760
Speaker 1: to be able to be on stage. Music was the

238
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:46,000
Speaker 1: thing for me, so singing and playing you had to

239
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:48,400
Speaker 1: have some level of proficiency. So I did quite dedicate

240
00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:53,199
Speaker 1: myself to at least the illusion of proficiency, but I did.

241
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:57,320
Speaker 1: I always got something out of connecting with people, connecting

242
00:11:57,360 --> 00:12:00,160
Speaker 1: with an audience. There was just really something about that,

243
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:03,000
Speaker 1: whether it be the non verbal communication of music or

244
00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:06,319
Speaker 1: through a song, or just any time that I was

245
00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:10,840
Speaker 1: able to have this collective experience with people on the controller.

246
00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:13,839
Speaker 1: At the time, yes, it was, and I had a

247
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:19,000
Speaker 1: very strange relationship to my self worth around that. In sobriety,

248
00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:22,360
Speaker 1: it's very different now. I'm going to go back before

249
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:26,200
Speaker 1: sobriety though, So I'd imagine then if you're a young.

250
00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:30,199
Speaker 2: Man and you're particularly if you're a teenage or late

251
00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:33,599
Speaker 2: teens or early twenties or something, and you all of

252
00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:35,480
Speaker 2: a sudden have a realization that's what you've been doing

253
00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:36,840
Speaker 2: the whole time, you know, Like.

254
00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:39,920
Speaker 1: If I didn't realize that until I got better to do,

255
00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:44,000
Speaker 1: then why did you get sick? What was what was

256
00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:47,040
Speaker 1: the cause of seeing this was not a realization, it

257
00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:49,800
Speaker 1: kind of it was just a clearly we come out

258
00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:53,560
Speaker 1: fifty percent, you know, we don't just look like both

259
00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:55,640
Speaker 1: my parents were refugees at one point. You know, into

260
00:12:55,679 --> 00:12:59,000
Speaker 1: generational trauma is a real thing. We come out fifty

261
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:04,520
Speaker 1: percent all of it, generally, the sciences that we're fifty

262
00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:06,800
Speaker 1: percent what our parents give us as far as our

263
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:09,360
Speaker 1: jumpiness or whatever, and we're fifty percent what we then

264
00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:14,560
Speaker 1: experience or happened in our lives. So, you know, I've

265
00:13:14,559 --> 00:13:17,920
Speaker 1: got two people who it was twenty four years apart,

266
00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:20,840
Speaker 1: the very same Russians you know, kicked in their doors

267
00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:23,319
Speaker 1: and they had to get out of there. And so

268
00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:25,079
Speaker 1: there are two people who went through life going on

269
00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:29,240
Speaker 1: under the authorities in a state can come and take

270
00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:32,800
Speaker 1: everything away, and that's kind of how they went through life.

271
00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:35,600
Speaker 1: And they're not alone in our country of people who've

272
00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:38,400
Speaker 1: had that experience where in the state turns against them.

273
00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:41,600
Speaker 1: So they were, you know, mindful and weary, and they

274
00:13:41,679 --> 00:13:44,679
Speaker 1: had a way of being and that kind of rubs

275
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:47,920
Speaker 1: off on you know. My father lost family in the Holocaust,

276
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,679
Speaker 1: and you know, so there was this thing that was

277
00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:53,839
Speaker 1: very fucking real for both of my folks, and it's

278
00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:55,959
Speaker 1: hard to not pass that on to your kids. You know,

279
00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:59,200
Speaker 1: my mum was on the road for just walked from

280
00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:03,480
Speaker 1: Lithuanialy down to Germany at one point, and it's hard

281
00:14:03,559 --> 00:14:06,760
Speaker 1: to not have those things pass on vicariously to you

282
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:09,360
Speaker 1: to your children, So I can only speak to myself.

283
00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:12,920
Speaker 1: It was that was a part of it. There was

284
00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:15,319
Speaker 1: always this anxiety, always a thing. And then sometime around

285
00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:20,880
Speaker 1: the age of fourteen, I found this magical elixir that

286
00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:23,680
Speaker 1: made everything kind of just kind of turned down a

287
00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:26,720
Speaker 1: little bit, and it was I think it was power,

288
00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:32,080
Speaker 1: was bitter power, sorrybody, Wally Lewis, there was a time

289
00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:33,280
Speaker 1: where it was Alan Bond's beer.

290
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:36,200
Speaker 2: Alan Bonder had power, he sure fucking did, totally, and

291
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:38,640
Speaker 2: then Wally was one of the big promoters of it.

292
00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:42,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, well truly they edited the sorry Bondie out at

293
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:44,520
Speaker 1: some point. I think you must have done softly. How's

294
00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:47,760
Speaker 1: that fucking great line? You only get white Alan Bond

295
00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:50,840
Speaker 1: in your life, and I've had him twice. Fucking carry

296
00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:54,360
Speaker 1: pack a Line's amazing. It's not so similar to your

297
00:14:54,440 --> 00:15:01,280
Speaker 1: scenario with the exactly great man. It's like, I'm so

298
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:04,240
Speaker 1: stoked for you. That happened anyway, So yeah, it was that,

299
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:08,400
Speaker 1: and then I had this beer, and then ah, everything

300
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:11,960
Speaker 1: kind of got a little bit quieter, quite a lot quieter.

301
00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,520
Speaker 1: And I you know, if I'm holding up a glass

302
00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:17,160
Speaker 1: for people who are listening, the glass is half literally,

303
00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:19,240
Speaker 1: this is great, the glass is half full. I'm like, ah,

304
00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:22,280
Speaker 1: it's been quiet because I've drunk this much. I reckon

305
00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:23,840
Speaker 1: by the time I get down to that on the

306
00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:26,440
Speaker 1: next one, it'll be a whole lot better. But I

307
00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:30,880
Speaker 1: never got there. Never You never drank much more? Oh no, no, no,

308
00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:34,160
Speaker 1: I kept going yeah when that was always the lie, Yeah,

309
00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:36,440
Speaker 1: that it'll be better, yeah, when you're on the next one.

310
00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:37,880
Speaker 2: But did it get better when you had some more?

311
00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:42,000
Speaker 2: I mean initially, like like, so, what's your reaction if

312
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:45,320
Speaker 2: you drank too much? But what who would I should become?

313
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:49,480
Speaker 1: I have a I have an allergy to alcohol. If

314
00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:53,000
Speaker 1: I drink, I break out and fun with side effects

315
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:58,080
Speaker 1: include divorce, financial ruin, Chris was really other things? Yeah,

316
00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:02,000
Speaker 1: oh yeah, and you like how bad does it get there? Like, look,

317
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:05,400
Speaker 1: I have so essentially like my stepdaughter she's got a

318
00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:08,360
Speaker 1: peanut allergy. Thankfully it's not anaphylactics anaphylactic. But there's a

319
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:11,720
Speaker 1: kid at my younger stay care that does right EpiPens

320
00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:15,000
Speaker 1: at arms reach like defibrillators at a gym, right, just everywhere. Right,

321
00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:22,080
Speaker 1: And if your grandkids, we'll go into a party and

322
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,640
Speaker 1: that had peanut butter on their fingers or hands, and

323
00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:27,480
Speaker 1: you know, it's like, we've got to wash your hands, mate,

324
00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:30,440
Speaker 1: because you know little Jimy's got. You would never dream

325
00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:32,680
Speaker 1: anything a molecule that shit anywhere near a toddle because

326
00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:36,040
Speaker 1: it could kill them. Similarly, if a molecule of alcohol

327
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,840
Speaker 1: gets into my body, I have an allergic reaction. I

328
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:41,880
Speaker 1: can no longer decide how much good amount to drink,

329
00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:44,280
Speaker 1: and my sense of right and wrong changes, A sense

330
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:47,680
Speaker 1: of judgments goes, my sense of right and wrong, my

331
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:52,320
Speaker 1: moral senses change, and only once that and I cannot

332
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:55,320
Speaker 1: stop that reaction once it start. It's like literally speaking

333
00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:57,960
Speaker 1: to someone who's I don't know, breaking out in hives.

334
00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:00,480
Speaker 1: Can you please stop breaking out and welts your skin

335
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:02,720
Speaker 1: from contact with a cat or something like. They can't

336
00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:04,920
Speaker 1: stop their body doing that. Similarly, I can't stop it

337
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:09,120
Speaker 1: once it starts, so not going near it is really

338
00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:13,159
Speaker 1: really important. And only once the reaction wears off, sometimes

339
00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:17,239
Speaker 1: twelve hours later, sometimes you know, the next afternoon, two

340
00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:19,600
Speaker 1: and afternoons later. I turned around like, who the fuck

341
00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:23,520
Speaker 1: said that? Who did that? Oh? Fuck? It was me?

342
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:28,280
Speaker 1: And I couldn't. I couldn't. I couldn't stop it. And

343
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:31,720
Speaker 1: it became very very clear that every day started to

344
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:34,720
Speaker 1: become the same. I was no longer in I was

345
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:37,320
Speaker 1: no longer able to make the choice. The choices were

346
00:17:37,359 --> 00:17:40,080
Speaker 1: now being made for me. The days were just becoming

347
00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:43,399
Speaker 1: very very repetitive. That the drinking was getting earlier, and

348
00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:45,840
Speaker 1: you do it every day? Oh yeah, yeah by the end, Yeah,

349
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:48,520
Speaker 1: it had been years since I could remember the last

350
00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:52,600
Speaker 1: age and drink, And the days just kept getting the same,

351
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:56,080
Speaker 1: and the drinking was getting earlier, and it was getting worse.

352
00:17:56,600 --> 00:18:00,200
Speaker 1: And no matter which way I tried, like, oh, I

353
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:02,600
Speaker 1: started with beer and ended with tequila. This time I'll

354
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:04,359
Speaker 1: start at to quiller. It ended with be it no, no, no,

355
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,600
Speaker 1: the same thing happened no matter what, no matter which

356
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:08,800
Speaker 1: way I tried to play it. Oh, I don't drink

357
00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:11,199
Speaker 1: beer anymore. I buy sixty dollar bottles of Read, up

358
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:13,840
Speaker 1: by one hundred dollar bottles Read because I'm a fucking connoisseur. No,

359
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:17,600
Speaker 1: I'm just a fucking drunk, drunk man. And I couldn't

360
00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:21,440
Speaker 1: stop it. And I was lucky really lucky. I tried

361
00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:24,119
Speaker 1: to stop a bunch of times, like why did you

362
00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:25,720
Speaker 1: try to stop? Did you know? Because I could see

363
00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:28,159
Speaker 1: it was like I was unable to control it. And

364
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:31,120
Speaker 1: I could tell that, you know, at first it was fun,

365
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:33,119
Speaker 1: then it was fun with problems, and then it's just problems,

366
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:36,199
Speaker 1: all right. And I couldn't stop the problems. It couldn't

367
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:39,800
Speaker 1: once the drinking started, I couldn't it just the next

368
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:43,200
Speaker 1: day was worse, and then everything's good, idea after half

369
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:45,399
Speaker 1: a six packs. So all kinds of other things went

370
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:49,160
Speaker 1: in concert with that, and the people I was hanging

371
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:50,800
Speaker 1: with and the things I was doing, and the choice

372
00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:52,480
Speaker 1: I was making was just like, this is what the

373
00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:55,480
Speaker 1: fuck am I doing here? And I was living in

374
00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:58,720
Speaker 1: America at the time, and I could see that, you know,

375
00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:02,480
Speaker 1: it was prescription painkillers got involved, and Benzo's all you

376
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:05,240
Speaker 1: got there was a bad sleep. Yeah, it was a

377
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:08,359
Speaker 1: bad time. And I'd had friends who had died because

378
00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:12,280
Speaker 1: that's I hammered. They forget that they've already taken their

379
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:14,720
Speaker 1: you know, Benzo, and then they go and take another

380
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:17,119
Speaker 1: d and then that's it. See you and never wake up.

381
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:20,639
Speaker 1: And I tried it, Like I said, I tried a

382
00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:22,840
Speaker 1: bunch of times to stop. I'd maybe get four weeks,

383
00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:26,360
Speaker 1: six weeks up. They couldn't do it. And then there's

384
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:29,800
Speaker 1: this loutsu line. Be careful of the direction that you

385
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:31,840
Speaker 1: were headed. You may just stand up there. And it

386
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:35,160
Speaker 1: was very clear to me that I know where this ends.

387
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:38,080
Speaker 1: This ends with me in prison, This ends with me

388
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:41,960
Speaker 1: losing everything, This ends with me dead. You know, I

389
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:44,960
Speaker 1: got one out of three. I managed. I got out

390
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:48,040
Speaker 1: losing everything, And it's probably the best option out of

391
00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:50,080
Speaker 1: all of them. Bro. I was so fucking lucky. Man,

392
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:53,399
Speaker 1: I got so lucky. What was what would be the.

393
00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:58,040
Speaker 2: Can you have a memory of what was the lowest point?

394
00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:00,920
Speaker 2: I mean, can you remember the streets of King's Cross

395
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:01,399
Speaker 2: on your own?

396
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:05,720
Speaker 1: Oh? Man? It was just it was the same, just,

397
00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:11,879
Speaker 1: you know, just being a blorous, belligerent person and vomiting

398
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:15,320
Speaker 1: on myself, humiliating the people I'm with, not knowing why

399
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,000
Speaker 1: people were upset at me. The next day, you know,

400
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:21,320
Speaker 1: blacking out. I was drinking to blackout since yeah, since

401
00:20:21,359 --> 00:20:22,960
Speaker 1: I was fourteen, Like, well this is amazing, and I

402
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:27,800
Speaker 1: just kept to win. Oh thirty six, wow, yeah, yeah,

403
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:32,960
Speaker 1: twenty years, twenty two, Yeah, my god, twenty two and

404
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,960
Speaker 1: I've ben't really lucky man. You just like when I

405
00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:39,879
Speaker 1: see you in television, like you look like a healthy,

406
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:45,680
Speaker 1: well put together you know, like a competent, great performer.

407
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:50,440
Speaker 1: Parade of two thousand and nine look great. Tailoring and

408
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:53,280
Speaker 1: good hair and makeup can do a lot for you. Mark, No,

409
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:56,239
Speaker 1: but you had it all. You put it together quite well. Well.

410
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:59,040
Speaker 1: My work was always the respite though. This is the thing,

411
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:01,520
Speaker 1: like I was saying before, when I'm on camera, oh

412
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:07,760
Speaker 1: thank god, bliss man, Like for other people speaking on

413
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:11,120
Speaker 1: a live TV camera and at the time, Monday nights,

414
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:13,840
Speaker 1: Australian Night all season, the first version of it, we're

415
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:15,960
Speaker 1: doing two point two two point four on a Monday.

416
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:17,800
Speaker 1: The Good Old Day's on a fucking Monday, man, the

417
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:21,159
Speaker 1: pre GFC TV money and everything like like for some

418
00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:25,399
Speaker 1: people that's terror terrifying six hundred people in the studio

419
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:28,640
Speaker 1: right for me, those thirty seconds, minute and a half

420
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:30,880
Speaker 1: are just listen, Like if you talk to Kelly Slater

421
00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:33,720
Speaker 1: about his perfect tenant chokes, he'll be like his face

422
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:36,360
Speaker 1: will just go to this complete moment of relaxation, even

423
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:39,240
Speaker 1: though that wave could kill him like that, right, He's

424
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:41,760
Speaker 1: like I don't know. That's I'm in it, man. Everything

425
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,600
Speaker 1: else is hard. That's the easy part. So being on

426
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:49,560
Speaker 1: the camera, you saw me. Your sample of my state

427
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:52,840
Speaker 1: of being was me and my most calm, safest place,

428
00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:55,640
Speaker 1: and so I guess that's it was. Once I got

429
00:21:55,680 --> 00:22:00,240
Speaker 1: off air, that's where you know, I would basically I'd

430
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:01,920
Speaker 1: go to the green room, have one and a half

431
00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:04,600
Speaker 1: drink so I could drive home, and then steal bottles

432
00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:07,440
Speaker 1: from the bar and then because you know, the best

433
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:08,919
Speaker 1: kind of drinking is the drinking that you do by

434
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:11,080
Speaker 1: yourself in your apartment, because ultimately, the amount that I

435
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:14,719
Speaker 1: was drinking to feel okay to leave the house started

436
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:18,080
Speaker 1: to be really really dangerous. And then when I was home,

437
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:20,359
Speaker 1: the amount that I was drinking just to make the

438
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:23,840
Speaker 1: noise in my head go quiet was just bonkers, and

439
00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:27,159
Speaker 1: I just I knew I was. I had to stow up.

440
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:27,760
Speaker 1: Do you know this?

441
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:30,720
Speaker 2: Do you think this is sort of prevalent in the

442
00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:33,879
Speaker 2: entertainment industry, because it's funny. I was just thinking to

443
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:36,800
Speaker 2: myself about stuff like when I get up on stage,

444
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:40,560
Speaker 2: Like if I'm doing a speech, and prior to getting

445
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:44,080
Speaker 2: up on the stage, I'm not nervous. I just don't

446
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:47,960
Speaker 2: want to do it, and I sort of semi resent

447
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:48,840
Speaker 2: it for some reason.

448
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,640
Speaker 1: It's silly. But once I'm up in stage, I love

449
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:54,040
Speaker 1: it right, And then when I got.

450
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:56,400
Speaker 2: Off stage, I'm exhilarated because obviously must be a whole

451
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:57,560
Speaker 2: lot of chemicals fine around my.

452
00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:01,240
Speaker 1: Head because you're connecting with people, Yeah, or am I

453
00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:05,320
Speaker 1: controlling it off? Wonder about it? It's interesting me. But

454
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:08,600
Speaker 1: do you see lots of people in the media game

455
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:11,639
Speaker 1: who are like that? Is it a thing? I haven't

456
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:14,440
Speaker 1: wondered about it because a few media people and they're

457
00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:19,240
Speaker 1: similar me. Okay, So firstly, I can help you with

458
00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:24,120
Speaker 1: the pre stage thing because I still do this regularly,

459
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:29,040
Speaker 1: and I have learned so many fantastic coping mechanisms. If

460
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:31,800
Speaker 1: you've watched me on Telly from twenty ten on, you

461
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:35,720
Speaker 1: have seen me do relaxation techniques on live national television.

462
00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:38,960
Speaker 1: Now do I breathe? I do muscle stuff that no

463
00:23:39,119 --> 00:23:41,560
Speaker 1: I've taught. I've learned these really interesting things that no

464
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:43,680
Speaker 1: one cannot be detected on camera. And unless I tell

465
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:45,080
Speaker 1: you what I'm looking what you're looking for, you won't

466
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:46,879
Speaker 1: even see it. There's a last time I was on

467
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:48,600
Speaker 1: Q and A, you can see me doing it. I

468
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:50,399
Speaker 1: talked about it on my podcast. I'm like, this is

469
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:51,800
Speaker 1: what I'm doing, and you can see me do it

470
00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:55,800
Speaker 1: five times during the CONTs. Yeah, during the set during

471
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:58,400
Speaker 1: there on Q and A with Chris Bowen and what's

472
00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:03,600
Speaker 1: his face? The ex energy? But yes, so the look.

473
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:05,760
Speaker 1: I don't know, have you ever because everybody looks at

474
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:07,680
Speaker 1: people in TV and media and they, oh my god,

475
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,320
Speaker 1: you know, they do it so easy, lah blah blahlah. Yeah,

476
00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:13,040
Speaker 1: but people with different people everyone's got different brains, and

477
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:17,040
Speaker 1: different brains kind of all have a surface tension that

478
00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:20,000
Speaker 1: brings them together around different careers. Okay, if you go

479
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:22,479
Speaker 1: and find I mean, if you go and say, for example,

480
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:25,480
Speaker 1: find the people who are the best ever with Excel

481
00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:28,200
Speaker 1: spreadsheet formulas, probably a few of them are going to

482
00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:30,040
Speaker 1: have a bit of trouble with eye contact, and that's

483
00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:34,080
Speaker 1: fine because that's where they go. People. Neurodivergence has always

484
00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:37,960
Speaker 1: existed in society the whole time we've been here. Yet

485
00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:41,280
Speaker 1: we have these schooling systems that with a limited budget,

486
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:42,879
Speaker 1: are trying to, you know, get the biggest amount of

487
00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:45,080
Speaker 1: the bell curve. And there's people over here who can't

488
00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:47,119
Speaker 1: stop jumping their knee like me. And there's people over

489
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:49,879
Speaker 1: here who are very different and they are the ones

490
00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:51,639
Speaker 1: that get in trouble with that schooling, and there's all

491
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:53,720
Speaker 1: of other ones in the middles to you. You're on

492
00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:55,959
Speaker 1: a limited budget. You're trying to get the most cohorts possible.

493
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,080
Speaker 1: So I would say that you know similarly if you

494
00:24:58,240 --> 00:24:59,879
Speaker 1: if you ever been in a room with more than

495
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:04,119
Speaker 1: one Moto GP writer, all right, there's small, kind of

496
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,040
Speaker 1: flighty like race horses, all right, because they have to

497
00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:10,600
Speaker 1: be and that's their that's their brain. Their brain can

498
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:13,600
Speaker 1: do that. That's and it has to be. There's a

499
00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:16,440
Speaker 1: specificity around who they are, and so different people with

500
00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:18,960
Speaker 1: different brains get they're fit for purpose precisely so.

501
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:21,840
Speaker 2: And that's sort of my point, I think, maybe to

502
00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:25,280
Speaker 2: somebody sending to media, we're all fit for purpose in

503
00:25:25,359 --> 00:25:27,600
Speaker 2: that we are very good once we get in front

504
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:28,200
Speaker 2: of the audience.

505
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:32,040
Speaker 1: I spent my whole career working with people who could

506
00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:36,080
Speaker 1: not sit in a cubicle. Every cameo, every sorry, every

507
00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:41,680
Speaker 1: camera operator, every audio guy, every you know, every field producer,

508
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:44,959
Speaker 1: every art department person. You have a chat to them,

509
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:47,440
Speaker 1: and that certainly after I've got my ADHD diagnosis, So

510
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:50,720
Speaker 1: I kind of learned a lot more about things. Every

511
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:52,560
Speaker 1: one of those people are like, oh good, I try

512
00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:54,720
Speaker 1: to destop once goldn't do it and that. But that's

513
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:57,480
Speaker 1: the bubble that I live in. You know, this is fine,

514
00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:00,920
Speaker 1: But there are other people who they have a public

515
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:03,960
Speaker 1: service job. They get there at eight twenty nine, they're

516
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:06,240
Speaker 1: on at eight thirty, at four point fifty nine, they

517
00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:08,040
Speaker 1: zip up their pencil case and they get on the

518
00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:10,680
Speaker 1: freeway and they never think about it and they fucking

519
00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:13,280
Speaker 1: love it and good for them, and well it's funny,

520
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:16,200
Speaker 1: as I said, And there's nothing wrong with being like

521
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:18,399
Speaker 1: this because as I said, fit not at all. You

522
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:19,200
Speaker 1: do love to do that.

523
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:20,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, but olsouly you just means the word and you're

524
00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:25,120
Speaker 2: a divergent. So do you think it's important, Well, there's

525
00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:27,560
Speaker 2: any value whatsoever? And actually putting a tag on it

526
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:27,920
Speaker 2: at all?

527
00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:30,840
Speaker 1: I mean, I mean less and less. I think what

528
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,760
Speaker 1: I mean. Sure, we say adhd or on the spectrum

529
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:35,560
Speaker 1: of this s something now which caught and everything the

530
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:38,600
Speaker 1: spectrum though, but totally there's everything. I don't even know

531
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:39,240
Speaker 1: what the spectrum is.

532
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:41,480
Speaker 2: I don't know who worked a spectrum out if they

533
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:44,359
Speaker 2: assessed every single person on the planet and any other

534
00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:47,280
Speaker 2: place that might exist in the world. In the university today, no,

535
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:51,040
Speaker 2: But do you think can we just accept that everybody

536
00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:52,119
Speaker 2: is different?

537
00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:55,400
Speaker 1: Absolutely different brains do different things. And that's if you're

538
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:58,920
Speaker 1: trying to get a cohort of people to the same goal,

539
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:03,520
Speaker 1: you're going to have to understand that a vast ninety

540
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:06,240
Speaker 1: percent of them are going to respond really well to

541
00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:08,920
Speaker 1: the structure of whatever is you're trying to get them to,

542
00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:11,960
Speaker 1: whether it be doing a motorbile license or whatever. But

543
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,320
Speaker 1: there's been a couple of people on the edges might

544
00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:16,800
Speaker 1: need a little bit here, might need a little bit there,

545
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:19,160
Speaker 1: and that's what they're going to need to get them there.

546
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:23,440
Speaker 1: But then you've got everyone's got the same outcome. It's

547
00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:26,080
Speaker 1: when we start to leave those people on the ages behind,

548
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:29,840
Speaker 1: that's when we start to have issues that can compound

549
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:33,480
Speaker 1: later in life. When there's nothing more dangerous than a

550
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:37,159
Speaker 1: man who's been left behind. Really, you know, someone who

551
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:39,600
Speaker 1: watches all their friends go forth and be able to

552
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:43,840
Speaker 1: complete things that he can't, and have relationships and make

553
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:47,080
Speaker 1: emotional connections that he somehow can't seem to be I

554
00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:50,840
Speaker 1: understand why people get resentful about such things. That's a

555
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:54,359
Speaker 1: dangerous man, do you think then, users is interesting that

556
00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 1: when there's people on the edges, But what about people

557
00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:58,840
Speaker 1: in the middle, because they need an edge. So for me,

558
00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 1: people in the middle don't have any edge to them,

559
00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:04,040
Speaker 1: and as a result of that, they may also be

560
00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:06,040
Speaker 1: missing it. Because one of my experiences is that is

561
00:28:06,119 --> 00:28:08,120
Speaker 1: that people that I know who have done very well

562
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:12,720
Speaker 1: generally speaking, speak like you. Now I'm serious.

563
00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:17,040
Speaker 2: My experience in business at least is the people who

564
00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:23,200
Speaker 2: have been the most successful prolific. They prosecute, prosecute, prosecute.

565
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:26,480
Speaker 1: In a good way. They speak quickly, they have a

566
00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:27,720
Speaker 1: mastery of the language.

567
00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:30,240
Speaker 2: They look like they're really confident, but they're probably not

568
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:33,159
Speaker 2: that confident, but they come across as really confident and

569
00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:37,639
Speaker 2: in control, and they control the conversation by speaking quickly

570
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:41,440
Speaker 2: and elegantly at the same time. Which is that's you,

571
00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:43,520
Speaker 2: I mean, and in some people myself, well he's got ADHD,

572
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:46,280
Speaker 2: but he gives a shit. We don't have to have

573
00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:48,120
Speaker 2: a put a label on it. I just think that

574
00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:50,680
Speaker 2: we are all completely different, every one of us.

575
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:53,640
Speaker 1: There is no middle. You know, you talked about the

576
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:58,640
Speaker 1: bell curve. I mean, it's I think there's no point

577
00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:02,200
Speaker 1: actually having a bell curve. I think just there's just

578
00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:05,120
Speaker 1: an excellent y graph and there's just dots everywhere, and

579
00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:06,800
Speaker 1: they're all over the joint. I can't actually draw a

580
00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:09,000
Speaker 1: bell curve. We're all different completely everywhere.

581
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:11,960
Speaker 2: And let's not put labels on anyone else, in particularly ourselves,

582
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:13,280
Speaker 2: because what happens is we get forced to put a

583
00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:16,560
Speaker 2: label on ourself and all of a sudden, you're sort

584
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:19,320
Speaker 2: of you're defending a lot. I mean, especially for you,

585
00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:21,440
Speaker 2: a younger person, when when we get older, we can

586
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:24,760
Speaker 2: deal with anything pretty much, but when you're young, you think, fuck,

587
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:26,400
Speaker 2: I'm so different, How am I going to deal with

588
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:26,760
Speaker 2: this shit?

589
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:29,240
Speaker 1: You know, I've had a few people on with you know.

590
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:33,400
Speaker 2: The similar diagnosis is that you have and we and

591
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:36,600
Speaker 2: they're all successful. You're successful once you work your shit

592
00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:38,000
Speaker 2: out and become well, well, this is the thing.

593
00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:40,440
Speaker 1: Like I have the career I have because of the

594
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:44,160
Speaker 1: brain that I've got, grand fit for purpose. But this

595
00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:47,520
Speaker 1: brain that I've got nearly killed me. And the only

596
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:51,480
Speaker 1: reason that I'm able to keep going and have a

597
00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:53,600
Speaker 1: relationship with my wife and my kids, and you know,

598
00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:57,480
Speaker 1: try to, you know, put a something of good and

599
00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:01,320
Speaker 1: value into the world is because I work hard to

600
00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:03,560
Speaker 1: make sure the bits of my brain that don't serve

601
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:06,080
Speaker 1: me don't take over, because that's happened to me, and

602
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:09,760
Speaker 1: I was very It was really dangerous and I got very,

603
00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:15,480
Speaker 1: very very sick. So having been there was a magazine

604
00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:17,240
Speaker 1: back in the day. There were shiny things. They held

605
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:18,840
Speaker 1: them in your hands. You open them like this. You

606
00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:21,520
Speaker 1: looked at stuff. You couldn't zoom on it. But I

607
00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:23,440
Speaker 1: was on the cover of Men's Health magazine. I had

608
00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:25,320
Speaker 1: a six pack. I had a six pack for about

609
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:28,320
Speaker 1: eighteen hours. Mark it was fucking hard, all right. You

610
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:32,440
Speaker 1: don't accidentally get it. You don't accidentally wander around and

611
00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:35,280
Speaker 1: then find yourself on the summat of Mount Kilingajarro. You very,

612
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:39,680
Speaker 1: very deliberately do this thing, all right. Similarly, we don't

613
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 1: accidentally have good mental health. We have to deliberately cultivated. Similarly,

614
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:50,560
Speaker 1: we have to deliberately cultivate resilience. Now I'm not talking

615
00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:56,200
Speaker 1: about I think about this quite a bit like resilience

616
00:30:56,880 --> 00:30:59,920
Speaker 1: and vulnerability. People go, well, men need to be more vulnerable.

617
00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:03,760
Speaker 1: But vulnerability is the opposite side of the coin to resilience.

618
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:09,640
Speaker 1: The extreme of that is fragility, and I guess in

619
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:14,560
Speaker 1: being indestructible. All right, now, I have been both fragility,

620
00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:19,080
Speaker 1: The smallest thing can destroy you. Indestructible, nothing can harm me.

621
00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:21,440
Speaker 1: I haven't lost my I'll I haven't lost my house

622
00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:24,080
Speaker 1: in three days, all right. I'm sitting at home just

623
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:27,719
Speaker 1: like gambling on internet poker and watching porn and drinking.

624
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:30,920
Speaker 1: But I don't have to deal with anybody, so I'm safe.

625
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:34,120
Speaker 1: I can't have any good relationships, so I'm not very

626
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:36,719
Speaker 1: good for my career, and I'm starting to really erode

627
00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:38,840
Speaker 1: everything any I can't make eye contact when I get

628
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:41,840
Speaker 1: to my groceries if I do, so, yeah, I'm safe,

629
00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:44,320
Speaker 1: but it's not a fucking way to live. So but

630
00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:47,360
Speaker 1: closer here, this is resilience. And you know, if we

631
00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:49,880
Speaker 1: can build up resilience. So but if you're here, you're

632
00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:53,480
Speaker 1: also super fragile, right because anything can fucking destroy you.

633
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:56,080
Speaker 1: But if we build up a resilience, then we are

634
00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:59,520
Speaker 1: open to being vulnerable. And this includes emotional resilience. Okay,

635
00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:03,160
Speaker 1: I would love it if in high school we taught

636
00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:06,040
Speaker 1: young men and young women how to get broken up with?

637
00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:07,960
Speaker 1: All right, how do you be broke? How to break

638
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:11,040
Speaker 1: a relationship, how to be on the receiving end of

639
00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:13,440
Speaker 1: someone not wanting to be in a relationship with you. Yeah,

640
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:15,400
Speaker 1: I love it if that was a course that we

641
00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:20,080
Speaker 1: did in grade nine, right, because that you know, if

642
00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:24,120
Speaker 1: you have emotional resilience right, and you know, I'm really

643
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:26,280
Speaker 1: into this person, but there might not be into me.

644
00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:30,080
Speaker 1: If you know, and we've all had breakups, it's taken

645
00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:31,600
Speaker 1: me a long time to you know, get this part,

646
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:35,600
Speaker 1: get to this part, and if you know, it really sucks.

647
00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:38,120
Speaker 1: I really liked them, I really had. I had all

648
00:32:38,160 --> 00:32:41,200
Speaker 1: these ideas about what we might do that really hurts.

649
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:42,960
Speaker 1: And now I'm seeing about a party with someone that

650
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,280
Speaker 1: I also know. Ah, that's really bad. But I know

651
00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:47,400
Speaker 1: I'm going to be okay, and I know there'll be

652
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:49,720
Speaker 1: someone else out there for me if we have that,

653
00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:53,040
Speaker 1: knowing that the next relationship we get into, we won't

654
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:55,760
Speaker 1: fear this loneliness, we won't fear this thing, we won't

655
00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:58,480
Speaker 1: grasp and grab and smother. We'll be able to go

656
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:02,280
Speaker 1: and be emotionally open and be vulnerable. Because the only

657
00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:04,040
Speaker 1: way we can actually fall in love and have an

658
00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:08,160
Speaker 1: open relationship, open communication and open loving relationship another person

659
00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:10,480
Speaker 1: is if we hold in a hand. At any moment,

660
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:13,360
Speaker 1: this person could want to go. But that's what makes

661
00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:17,080
Speaker 1: it amazing. This is why having kids is incredible, because

662
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:20,200
Speaker 1: it's unbelievable. You hold this tiny little human in your

663
00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 1: hand knowing you could die, so you hold this incredible

664
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:28,920
Speaker 1: love and fear in your hand at the same time.

665
00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:32,200
Speaker 1: And it's really important that we learn to do that

666
00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:36,880
Speaker 1: more and more and cultivate this emotional resilience so that

667
00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:39,880
Speaker 1: when things do show up that I destroy it.

668
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:57,600
Speaker 2: When you went through the crappy period, what was it

669
00:33:57,680 --> 00:34:00,240
Speaker 2: turn your life around? I meanly, was it a vent

670
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:02,760
Speaker 2: or was it an offer to come and do something?

671
00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:08,640
Speaker 1: They work which, but you're talking about when I got

672
00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:12,719
Speaker 1: mentally ill. Yeah, well I drink and then that. But

673
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:16,800
Speaker 1: the drink and then the illness that I look, I

674
00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:19,600
Speaker 1: got so lucky that I got sober first. How did

675
00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:21,880
Speaker 1: you get sober? Why did you get surber? Well, because

676
00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:25,400
Speaker 1: I was going to die. I knew I was going

677
00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:27,200
Speaker 1: to die. I was like, I'm going to end up

678
00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:29,200
Speaker 1: dead or something. This is I've got to stop this.

679
00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:30,880
Speaker 2: But I had Rick Rossman here the other day. Rick

680
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:32,600
Speaker 2: was telling me that he actually went and booked himself

681
00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:33,840
Speaker 2: into a place.

682
00:34:34,040 --> 00:34:37,080
Speaker 1: All right, what did you do? I didn't. I had

683
00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:39,360
Speaker 1: no idea. I grew up in Queensland. I had no

684
00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:42,600
Speaker 1: idea what. Sobriety looked like, oh, we're drinking, I'll bring

685
00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:45,920
Speaker 1: my gun boots, Like, we don't stop until some of

686
00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:48,680
Speaker 1: the vomiting through their nose. That's just kind of what

687
00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:52,200
Speaker 1: there's country drinking, right, And so I didn't know any

688
00:34:52,239 --> 00:34:55,560
Speaker 1: other way to be around other people, or to socialize

689
00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:58,479
Speaker 1: or to what And slowly, over time, as my mates

690
00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:00,239
Speaker 1: went to UNI and stuff like that, I could see them,

691
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:02,800
Speaker 1: you know, I could drink less and leave parties earlier

692
00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:04,960
Speaker 1: and I'm like, what are you leaving for? It's just

693
00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:09,160
Speaker 1: about to start. Everything's about to get amazing. They never did,

694
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:12,920
Speaker 1: And so like I didn't know how it could be.

695
00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:16,160
Speaker 1: And I was at this it was like I said,

696
00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:18,799
Speaker 1: it was PREGFC. So I was making pre GFC money.

697
00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:22,880
Speaker 1: All that's gone by the way. And I was at

698
00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:25,960
Speaker 1: this party. I'm in the Caribbean, at this party on

699
00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:29,840
Speaker 1: an island, as you do. And I was like, I

700
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:31,560
Speaker 1: can't even name the people that were there because it

701
00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:33,520
Speaker 1: sounded like a fucking wank, but it was. I couldn't

702
00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:36,360
Speaker 1: believe it. I was so myself, for it was just ridiculous.

703
00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:38,759
Speaker 1: And I was fucking blitzing myself because I didn't believe

704
00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:42,080
Speaker 1: I belonged there, right, And I see this guy just

705
00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:47,160
Speaker 1: moving through this crowd of people, like we're in Darlinghurst.

706
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:48,680
Speaker 1: If you go up the road to the bookshop, you'll

707
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:52,000
Speaker 1: find a book called Tom of Finland. It was like,

708
00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:54,080
Speaker 1: if you're a kid and you're sketching pictures of the

709
00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:57,839
Speaker 1: perfect wave, you'll draw chopu or something this perfect barrel. Right,

710
00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:01,759
Speaker 1: So Tom of Finland is like a cartoon version of

711
00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:05,080
Speaker 1: the perfect leather man, huge big forearms and big hand,

712
00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:08,360
Speaker 1: obamaustache and you know, just chin that could cut cake,

713
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:13,200
Speaker 1: and fucking there he is. Who's that? And he's this photographer,

714
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:15,920
Speaker 1: he's got his shot covers and this cover and that

715
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,839
Speaker 1: cover that I know, oh my god, and he's life

716
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:21,839
Speaker 1: for the party and sober, like, oh my goodness, I've

717
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:24,440
Speaker 1: never seen it like that. How can you be so successful,

718
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:26,800
Speaker 1: be so delightful, be around all this and be okay.

719
00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:29,200
Speaker 1: A couple of weeks go by, we're all back in

720
00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:31,960
Speaker 1: Los Angeles. I got his number and I called him

721
00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:34,120
Speaker 1: up and say, hey, man, you don't drink to you

722
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:36,759
Speaker 1: because no not anymore. Can you save me some of

723
00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:38,600
Speaker 1: those meetings you go to? Yes, yeah, sure, we'll take it.

724
00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:41,080
Speaker 1: And so the first meetings I went to were all

725
00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:45,080
Speaker 1: gay meetings. But I'm sitting there in West Hollywood in

726
00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:48,680
Speaker 1: a room full of men, beautiful man, and I'm hearing

727
00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:53,040
Speaker 1: some kid from Kansas with his mid Western accent tell

728
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:57,440
Speaker 1: my story. You know, he's twenty two. And I was like, oh,

729
00:36:57,600 --> 00:37:00,360
Speaker 1: I'm not a special snowflake. All right, how deference to

730
00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:03,560
Speaker 1: some people? Okay, all right, what do I do now?

731
00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:07,600
Speaker 1: So I got really, really lucky that I saw this guy,

732
00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:09,360
Speaker 1: because it's very much like I didn't know what it

733
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:12,719
Speaker 1: could be. So say, I blindfolded you and brought you

734
00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:16,800
Speaker 1: in here where, you know, opposite the Trup cafe and

735
00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:19,520
Speaker 1: a darling host. But I said to you, okay, so

736
00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:22,640
Speaker 1: what color are the cars on the street? You know

737
00:37:22,719 --> 00:37:26,279
Speaker 1: they're out there. You can't there's a blank space in

738
00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:28,600
Speaker 1: your head. I didn't know what to do to get

739
00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:30,960
Speaker 1: from here to there, So I just had to trust

740
00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:33,560
Speaker 1: these people. I was told, just find someone who's got

741
00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:36,480
Speaker 1: what you want and do what they tell you, and

742
00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:39,359
Speaker 1: that's it. So I found it pretty simple. Yeah, it's good.

743
00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:41,960
Speaker 1: I found a guy who he had been divorced, he

744
00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:44,879
Speaker 1: had married again, he had kids, Yeah, his career again.

745
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:47,960
Speaker 1: I was like, what do I do? And I just

746
00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:49,920
Speaker 1: did what he told me, because I had to come

747
00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:53,360
Speaker 1: to you understanding that the best I could do, the

748
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:55,719
Speaker 1: smartest I could be, the cleverest I thought I was

749
00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:58,320
Speaker 1: being had entered me up here. That was my ideas,

750
00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:01,919
Speaker 1: my best thinking. It might be time for someone else's thinking.

751
00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:04,600
Speaker 1: And so once I started following what he told me

752
00:38:04,719 --> 00:38:07,480
Speaker 1: to do, it was such a relief because it was

753
00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:10,000
Speaker 1: no longer on me, and he took that weight for

754
00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:13,720
Speaker 1: me for a while, and it was incredible. And so similarly,

755
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:18,880
Speaker 1: when I got really sick mentally, so I've been diagnosed

756
00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:23,080
Speaker 1: with social phobia and generalized anxiety and well sort of PTSD.

757
00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:25,239
Speaker 1: I got PTSD. I was in New York on September eleven.

758
00:38:25,280 --> 00:38:27,359
Speaker 1: I've got PTSD. After that's a really weird one. She's

759
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:30,520
Speaker 1: not physically hurt, but you can't do anything that's super strange.

760
00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:35,160
Speaker 1: And so that all kind of compounded. And then somewhere

761
00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:38,960
Speaker 1: around twenty fourteen, as is often the case, I was

762
00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:44,080
Speaker 1: quite fragile all right. At the time, Bachelor hadn't been renewed,

763
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:46,239
Speaker 1: for a second season, and I wasn't hearing if it

764
00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:49,600
Speaker 1: was or not. So I'm effectively I'm overseas paying rent

765
00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:54,160
Speaker 1: out of my savings. I have no job. I'm in

766
00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:57,480
Speaker 1: a relationship with a person that is really inappropriate for me.

767
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:04,120
Speaker 1: My father sick quite ill, and I had to pack

768
00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:05,839
Speaker 1: a bag and get ready to get back on QF

769
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:08,920
Speaker 1: twelve at any moment to get back to Australia. And

770
00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:11,239
Speaker 1: then one day, just my brain just fucking popped man,

771
00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:16,520
Speaker 1: and I started experiencing paranoid delusions. I started experiencing psychosis,

772
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:20,200
Speaker 1: episodes of paranoid paranoid delusion. Is there, Everyone's coming to

773
00:39:20,239 --> 00:39:25,200
Speaker 1: get me? Right? For me, it was climate anxiety, which

774
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:27,160
Speaker 1: is a very fucking real thing. But what does that mean?

775
00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:30,840
Speaker 1: Climbate anxiety? As far as I was concerned, the absolute

776
00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:34,680
Speaker 1: worst possible case scenarios of climate change were happening today

777
00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:37,759
Speaker 1: and I'm the only one that knows about it. And

778
00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:40,560
Speaker 1: I would start to see visions of the mountains around

779
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:44,000
Speaker 1: Los Angeles on fire, and I was like running usually

780
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:46,520
Speaker 1: made it better, so I run. I would leave my

781
00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:49,160
Speaker 1: apartment in venice, run down, touchdown, I want to cap here,

782
00:39:49,239 --> 00:39:53,040
Speaker 1: run back. That was ten case and as I'm running

783
00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:55,760
Speaker 1: those little bay watch towers while they've got a concrete

784
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:58,000
Speaker 1: block underneath them at a chain connected to the bottom

785
00:39:58,040 --> 00:39:59,719
Speaker 1: of them. And as I'm running, I look over to

786
00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:03,520
Speaker 1: my left and I see them kind of floating holding

787
00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:06,279
Speaker 1: against this chain like this, and then gleitching back again,

788
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:08,279
Speaker 1: and then gleitching there it is, and back again, and

789
00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:10,560
Speaker 1: I look up at the palm trees above me, and

790
00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:12,680
Speaker 1: they're no longer above me. They're now kind of weird

791
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:15,680
Speaker 1: lily pads sitting on the surface of the ocean because

792
00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:19,080
Speaker 1: the ocean is now five or ten meters above. Becomingly delusional, yeah,

793
00:40:19,239 --> 00:40:21,000
Speaker 1: but it was. It was like glitching in and out,

794
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:23,359
Speaker 1: and I was like, something's really fucking wrong. And every

795
00:40:23,440 --> 00:40:27,120
Speaker 1: sign one of these things happened, it would be horrible pain,

796
00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:31,239
Speaker 1: like awful, awful, awful pain running through my body. And

797
00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:34,239
Speaker 1: it was happening like every five ten seconds. And I

798
00:40:34,280 --> 00:40:37,680
Speaker 1: started to swat at the at them and kind of

799
00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:39,759
Speaker 1: go oh every time it happened, and I knew I

800
00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:40,960
Speaker 1: was in a lot of trouble. So I didn't even

801
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:42,560
Speaker 1: make it to the pier. I turn around and ran back,

802
00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:46,640
Speaker 1: and there's quite a sizable homeless population in Venice. It's

803
00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:49,240
Speaker 1: even bigger now, but a lot of it's quite untreated

804
00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:51,880
Speaker 1: mental illness. That's quite sad. The health system over there.

805
00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:54,279
Speaker 1: It's such an incredible country, and I do hung look

806
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:56,720
Speaker 1: after their people. It's really sad. I was over there recently.

807
00:40:57,520 --> 00:41:01,840
Speaker 1: People living in we're so fucking sad. And I'm running

808
00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:03,480
Speaker 1: up behind this bloke. I'm trying to get home as

809
00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:05,239
Speaker 1: fast as the can because I've got to call my guy.

810
00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:08,319
Speaker 1: And I'm running up behind this bloke and I can

811
00:41:08,360 --> 00:41:10,480
Speaker 1: see from behind there's this plume of urine on the

812
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:12,279
Speaker 1: back of his pants. He's got no shirt and he's

813
00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:13,719
Speaker 1: got no shoes on. His pants are way too big

814
00:41:13,719 --> 00:41:15,800
Speaker 1: for him. He probably hasn't eaten for a week. And

815
00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:21,600
Speaker 1: he's shuffling and he's spoatting, he's grunting, he's flinching. And

816
00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:23,640
Speaker 1: I run up next to him and he's about ten

817
00:41:23,719 --> 00:41:26,880
Speaker 1: years younger than me, and I was like, oh fuck,

818
00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:31,439
Speaker 1: we're doing the same thing. But I know something's wrong.

819
00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:35,280
Speaker 1: And I ran home and I called my man David,

820
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:38,040
Speaker 1: and I said, bab you got to get out of yourusef.

821
00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:38,960
Speaker 1: You cant get it. How you got to go to

822
00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:40,520
Speaker 1: the mountain because the fucking was going to end. Dada

823
00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:41,960
Speaker 1: da da, Have you got to go and get a gun?

824
00:41:42,120 --> 00:41:43,400
Speaker 1: You're gonna go to go hide the moutain d d

825
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:46,800
Speaker 1: d da. He's like, mate, you need to get to

826
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:51,240
Speaker 1: a doctor now, like right now. He said, you're lucky

827
00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:54,320
Speaker 1: because crazy people don't know they're crazy. You know something's

828
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:56,600
Speaker 1: wrong and you need to get to a doctor. But

829
00:41:56,640 --> 00:41:58,840
Speaker 1: I couldn't see my doctor for about three days. So

830
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:01,480
Speaker 1: that was a really hard, really hard.

831
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:03,600
Speaker 2: You do lock yourself down A bigger pardon what you

832
00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:05,000
Speaker 2: do if you had to wait three days, you lock

833
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:05,520
Speaker 2: yourself down.

834
00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:08,600
Speaker 1: Fu man. I went to I went to Veil on

835
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:11,920
Speaker 1: a ski trip with the mate. That was fucking horrible.

836
00:42:12,239 --> 00:42:15,320
Speaker 1: It was horrible. Did you do that to distract yourself? No?

837
00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:17,200
Speaker 1: I was booked in to go and it was already

838
00:42:17,200 --> 00:42:19,320
Speaker 1: booked you know, as you know, as is often the case,

839
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:21,920
Speaker 1: you lie. No, I'm fine, I'm fine. You know, you

840
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:25,760
Speaker 1: lie to the people around yourself. It was horrible, horrible, horrible,

841
00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:27,840
Speaker 1: And I finally got to see in my shrink and

842
00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:30,560
Speaker 1: I had this beautiful EAMs reclinents like original season one

843
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:33,839
Speaker 1: Eames reclined. It's beautiful. I find it' uncomfortable, but yes,

844
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:35,520
Speaker 1: I sit on the edge of his desk and I'm like,

845
00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:39,399
Speaker 1: you just a big band. You get an esque feel

846
00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:40,840
Speaker 1: full of all the FOD and can't fig go. And

847
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:46,200
Speaker 1: he's like, h you're experiencing paranoid delusions. And I was

848
00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:49,439
Speaker 1: like my brain at first, I was like, oh, he fuck,

849
00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:53,320
Speaker 1: he doesn't know, and I knew in that moment, I

850
00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:55,560
Speaker 1: don't know what it was. I got really lucky. Mark

851
00:42:55,840 --> 00:42:59,880
Speaker 1: part of my brain went hang, hang on, and I

852
00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:02,839
Speaker 1: able because I had learned to meditate as a younger man,

853
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:05,040
Speaker 1: and I had been meditating quite a bit to try

854
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:07,320
Speaker 1: to help myself, and I was able to just peel

855
00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:09,440
Speaker 1: my brain away for a second look and go wait,

856
00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:11,200
Speaker 1: wait a second, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait what happens

857
00:43:11,200 --> 00:43:14,720
Speaker 1: if you don't believe him? And I was so lucky

858
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:17,040
Speaker 1: that but my first thought was he's in on it.

859
00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:20,440
Speaker 1: He doesn't know, And I can understand why people, you know,

860
00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:23,279
Speaker 1: don't take their meads and then just leave because it's real,

861
00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:25,920
Speaker 1: as real as you're sitting in front of me. And

862
00:43:26,560 --> 00:43:29,480
Speaker 1: I ended up, you know, it took a while, but

863
00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:34,520
Speaker 1: I ended up on two kinds of antipsychotics, and I

864
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:39,799
Speaker 1: was her eyes and her eyes and any presidents. Yeah, yeah,

865
00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:41,840
Speaker 1: but like I was on a lands a pen and

866
00:43:42,719 --> 00:43:45,759
Speaker 1: uh that's the other ones. I can't remember the other one,

867
00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:51,160
Speaker 1: Like anti psychotics are amazing because have you ever seen

868
00:43:51,200 --> 00:43:55,080
Speaker 1: a like a plane that I have had to evacuate

869
00:43:55,120 --> 00:43:57,080
Speaker 1: because it kind of caught fire on landing or whatever,

870
00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:59,760
Speaker 1: and it's just this ball of foam with a finstick

871
00:43:59,760 --> 00:44:02,560
Speaker 1: in out, this giant ball of fire retarded fime. I

872
00:44:02,719 --> 00:44:06,480
Speaker 1: was in so much trouble because after a while, and

873
00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:09,080
Speaker 1: when you do the intro to this, you're going to

874
00:44:09,120 --> 00:44:12,080
Speaker 1: need to do a bit of a you know, a

875
00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:15,200
Speaker 1: bit of a just because I've learned through sharing my

876
00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:19,120
Speaker 1: story people have blocked shit out and when you suddenly

877
00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:21,799
Speaker 1: something will click for them, they might not realize, oh shit.

878
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:25,160
Speaker 1: So it's important that you preface your episode with you know,

879
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:26,920
Speaker 1: a bit of a you know, at least a lifeline

880
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:32,120
Speaker 1: number and talking about the risk of suicide. So this

881
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:35,440
Speaker 1: feeling wouldn't stop, all right, This feeling was just on

882
00:44:35,719 --> 00:44:39,879
Speaker 1: and on and on and on weeks months. They tried

883
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:41,880
Speaker 1: so hard, they helped me with different kind of concoctions

884
00:44:41,920 --> 00:44:47,440
Speaker 1: and things, and about every ten to twenty seconds, this

885
00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:50,680
Speaker 1: fucking flinch man like I was sit there in front

886
00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:54,880
Speaker 1: of my psychiatrists doing this, like just flinching, and it

887
00:44:55,440 --> 00:45:01,960
Speaker 1: hurts every time pain. After a while, your brain goes, hey, man,

888
00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:05,440
Speaker 1: I've got this great idea. I've got this idea of

889
00:45:05,480 --> 00:45:08,000
Speaker 1: how I can make all this. You know, you want

890
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:09,480
Speaker 1: to make this stop. You want some peace and quiet,

891
00:45:10,239 --> 00:45:15,759
Speaker 1: come here with me. And I had lost friends to suicide,

892
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:21,080
Speaker 1: like everyone, and I had never understood why. And in

893
00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:23,800
Speaker 1: that moment, it wasn't a scary thing. It wasn't like

894
00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:26,200
Speaker 1: I'm not into this person. I'm going to have to

895
00:45:26,200 --> 00:45:27,800
Speaker 1: go and meet them and tell them we're going to

896
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:30,440
Speaker 1: break up, or I've got to fire someone, you know,

897
00:45:30,880 --> 00:45:34,839
Speaker 1: not TV fired, but actual fired. You know, you hide

898
00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:36,480
Speaker 1: them because you love them, right, and you're like, you're

899
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:37,919
Speaker 1: going to be great for us, And it really hurts

900
00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:39,799
Speaker 1: when you actually have specially if you come to know them,

901
00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:42,279
Speaker 1: like you feel a thing inside you. Before it wasn't

902
00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:44,960
Speaker 1: that at all. It was no fear about It was this,

903
00:45:46,239 --> 00:45:48,160
Speaker 1: do you serf? Did you have a serf? Ye? All right?

904
00:45:48,800 --> 00:45:51,879
Speaker 1: Real cold day, you're not you're in your two three,

905
00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:54,560
Speaker 1: not your five four right four five right, and you

906
00:45:55,040 --> 00:45:58,719
Speaker 1: can't feel your hands and you're out there and you're like, oh, man,

907
00:45:58,760 --> 00:46:03,720
Speaker 1: when I get home, that shower, that's gonna be the best.

908
00:46:05,239 --> 00:46:08,560
Speaker 1: I'll get the CHACOOSEI on. But yeah, it's that that.

909
00:46:09,360 --> 00:46:11,120
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's going to be most amazing thing

910
00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:15,520
Speaker 1: when I do that. And now, once again, I was

911
00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:20,080
Speaker 1: so lucky that I was able to notice and go,

912
00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:22,560
Speaker 1: hang on a sec. My brain's trying to tell me

913
00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:24,560
Speaker 1: that the world's on fire and I'm underwater right now

914
00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:30,120
Speaker 1: and I'm glitching it out. Maybe this thought's also a distortion. Ah,

915
00:46:30,800 --> 00:46:34,160
Speaker 1: And that's all it took for me to go, oh Jesus, fuck,

916
00:46:35,080 --> 00:46:38,520
Speaker 1: that's it. And I just started calling people. And I

917
00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:40,960
Speaker 1: was in the Middle East at the time, and I'm

918
00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:43,759
Speaker 1: I just looked at the world mapp and saw who

919
00:46:43,840 --> 00:46:47,400
Speaker 1: was awake. And I started skyping my brothers, who were

920
00:46:47,400 --> 00:46:48,719
Speaker 1: in Australia are a week at the time, and I

921
00:46:48,800 --> 00:46:50,840
Speaker 1: just kind of waited till Los Angeles woke up, and

922
00:46:50,880 --> 00:46:54,520
Speaker 1: I spoke to people. I don't know how many people

923
00:46:54,560 --> 00:46:56,040
Speaker 1: I spoke to that night about what what did you

924
00:46:56,040 --> 00:46:58,640
Speaker 1: say to them? Just just to connect. I needed someone else.

925
00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:01,640
Speaker 1: I I just needed someone who was thinking about the

926
00:47:01,680 --> 00:47:04,560
Speaker 1: world without my brain, someone who I needed to hear

927
00:47:04,719 --> 00:47:07,640
Speaker 1: what the world looked like through their eyes. I couldn't

928
00:47:07,640 --> 00:47:12,760
Speaker 1: trust every piece of visual, auditory sensory input was being distorted,

929
00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:15,320
Speaker 1: all right. And my body, my brain was telling me

930
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:18,400
Speaker 1: that these things were happening, and they I knew they weren't,

931
00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:22,000
Speaker 1: but I couldn't resist that. It was so connecting and

932
00:47:22,200 --> 00:47:25,239
Speaker 1: being in connection with another person and having that phone call.

933
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:28,239
Speaker 1: I made a documentary about suicide prevention and what was

934
00:47:28,280 --> 00:47:32,439
Speaker 1: that called? It was called life and Death Life. Yeah,

935
00:47:32,560 --> 00:47:35,239
Speaker 1: it was great. We want to and where where? Where

936
00:47:35,320 --> 00:47:38,320
Speaker 1: was that? Publish? Was on SBS? SBS? Yeah, we won. Essentially.

937
00:47:38,400 --> 00:47:41,719
Speaker 1: The Oscar of Asia makes it easy to make a

938
00:47:41,719 --> 00:47:44,440
Speaker 1: second And what was that about? The second film is

939
00:47:44,440 --> 00:47:47,239
Speaker 1: about chronic paint, but that's not the story chronic pain

940
00:47:47,400 --> 00:47:49,800
Speaker 1: in that in physical pain Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, that

941
00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:52,640
Speaker 1: was the first one there. It's about suicide professor prevention

942
00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:56,600
Speaker 1: and we my brother who works in comms at the

943
00:47:56,640 --> 00:48:01,600
Speaker 1: Ford Motor Company. He's an amazing guy. He interviewed about

944
00:48:01,640 --> 00:48:04,160
Speaker 1: that phone call and it was it's really interesting. He goes,

945
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:06,320
Speaker 1: I remember that, I remember you calling me. I remember that,

946
00:48:06,520 --> 00:48:08,040
Speaker 1: And you know, the way he talked about it was

947
00:48:08,120 --> 00:48:09,799
Speaker 1: kind of yeah, I just know I kind of had

948
00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:11,680
Speaker 1: to stay with you for a bit, and because I

949
00:48:11,760 --> 00:48:16,799
Speaker 1: knew that from getting sober. Process goals are always way

950
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:19,560
Speaker 1: easier to hold on to than intention goals. I should

951
00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:22,040
Speaker 1: really go to the gym, and they never go, all right,

952
00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:24,160
Speaker 1: but if you go. When I get up, I put

953
00:48:24,239 --> 00:48:26,560
Speaker 1: my shoes on, I walk out the routine. Yeah, as

954
00:48:26,560 --> 00:48:28,320
Speaker 1: a process goal, if you have a process goal, you

955
00:48:28,440 --> 00:48:31,160
Speaker 1: will you will act through your intention, all right. So

956
00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:33,239
Speaker 1: I knew before you pick up a drink, pick up

957
00:48:33,239 --> 00:48:36,600
Speaker 1: the phone, that's it. Yeah, So similarly, and I had

958
00:48:36,640 --> 00:48:40,400
Speaker 1: done that, and I had known that my brain's not

959
00:48:40,520 --> 00:48:42,880
Speaker 1: making good decisions right now. I need to see somebody

960
00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:45,600
Speaker 1: else and ask them what should I do, and trust

961
00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:47,640
Speaker 1: that they have my best interests at heart and just

962
00:48:47,680 --> 00:48:50,239
Speaker 1: follow what they do. And so that's what I did.

963
00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:53,640
Speaker 1: So it's a point of a support group. But is

964
00:48:53,680 --> 00:48:54,840
Speaker 1: that something you recognize? It was?

965
00:48:55,080 --> 00:48:56,600
Speaker 2: That is something that you just happened to fall into

966
00:48:56,640 --> 00:48:58,319
Speaker 2: because you had close family and close floes.

967
00:48:58,880 --> 00:49:01,920
Speaker 1: I think because my folks would doctors, they kind of

968
00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:05,560
Speaker 1: did model. This is bigger than my skill set. Let's

969
00:49:05,600 --> 00:49:08,279
Speaker 1: go call well, it's call call the specialist. I don't

970
00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:11,680
Speaker 1: know anything about tropical diseases. Let's call you know, Paul

971
00:49:11,760 --> 00:49:15,360
Speaker 1: knows it. And that was kind of what they did, Like,

972
00:49:15,440 --> 00:49:17,759
Speaker 1: this is beyond my area of expertise. I'll call someone

973
00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:20,279
Speaker 1: who I trust and I'll trust them. And that's you know,

974
00:49:20,440 --> 00:49:26,239
Speaker 1: science is the what's the word science is a specific

975
00:49:26,440 --> 00:49:30,160
Speaker 1: application of doubt, all right, essentially to try to find

976
00:49:30,200 --> 00:49:33,200
Speaker 1: a agreed upon truth or reality that we can both

977
00:49:33,239 --> 00:49:35,200
Speaker 1: make a choice from. And so my parents always did that,

978
00:49:35,520 --> 00:49:38,319
Speaker 1: so we kind of knew as kids, like, oh, it's

979
00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:41,000
Speaker 1: bigger than me, I'll call someone that knows. But that

980
00:49:41,160 --> 00:49:43,200
Speaker 1: was kind of you know, I'm a wide Australian boy,

981
00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:47,160
Speaker 1: so I didn't want to to you know, I denied

982
00:49:47,200 --> 00:49:50,120
Speaker 1: it for a long time, to the point even where

983
00:49:50,160 --> 00:49:52,480
Speaker 1: my doctor said, here's the antisychotics, take them when you

984
00:49:52,560 --> 00:49:54,839
Speaker 1: need them. Ah. If I don't take them, I don't

985
00:49:54,880 --> 00:49:57,080
Speaker 1: need them. Ah. No, I got way worse.

986
00:49:57,160 --> 00:49:59,160
Speaker 2: Did you struggle with the fact that did you get

987
00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:00,600
Speaker 2: through a pere where you struggle the fact that you

988
00:50:00,719 --> 00:50:03,880
Speaker 2: thought you might have been you know, unwell, did you

989
00:50:03,960 --> 00:50:04,800
Speaker 2: ever sort of fight that?

990
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:07,920
Speaker 1: So yeah, I'm not I'm fine. I'm sweet. I got

991
00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:10,080
Speaker 1: offered andy, so I've got alphidated to presence in nineteen

992
00:50:10,120 --> 00:50:12,120
Speaker 1: ninety nine when I first to ride in Sydney. But

993
00:50:12,239 --> 00:50:14,040
Speaker 1: I'm like, aoh, I just have a v I'll be fine.

994
00:50:15,560 --> 00:50:19,440
Speaker 1: That's ridiculous, man, it's such if we were if we

995
00:50:19,560 --> 00:50:22,319
Speaker 1: if alcohol is invented today, I doubt we would ever

996
00:50:22,480 --> 00:50:25,319
Speaker 1: make it legal. It is such a fucking damaging drug.

997
00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:29,960
Speaker 1: It is a socially acceptable, readily available, self administered depressant

998
00:50:30,280 --> 00:50:33,040
Speaker 1: that is proven to be addictive and is a class

999
00:50:33,480 --> 00:50:38,319
Speaker 1: It's in the same class of cartinogens as asbestos. Right

1000
00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:41,640
Speaker 1: now in Sydney and Melbourne, we are digging up playgrounds

1001
00:50:41,640 --> 00:50:43,920
Speaker 1: everywhere because they're asbestos. Yet I don't think the bottle

1002
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:46,239
Speaker 1: has got a digger anywhere near it. So how long

1003
00:50:46,239 --> 00:50:49,960
Speaker 1: you've been so before? What do you find somewhere? Fourteen years,

1004
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:52,359
Speaker 1: two months and something, So you must be getting close

1005
00:50:52,400 --> 00:50:54,640
Speaker 1: to fifty or maybe already fifty. I just turned fifty.

1006
00:50:54,960 --> 00:50:58,560
Speaker 2: Fifty years so you know, like you've really been sort

1007
00:50:58,560 --> 00:51:00,759
Speaker 2: of you said you start at fourteen, it's like thirty

1008
00:51:00,840 --> 00:51:04,800
Speaker 2: six years of like sort of been a fairly amazing

1009
00:51:06,200 --> 00:51:07,800
Speaker 2: at a personal level, not to a media career, but

1010
00:51:07,840 --> 00:51:09,600
Speaker 2: a fairly amazing journey.

1011
00:51:10,320 --> 00:51:13,840
Speaker 1: And then you've done. But you say fourteen years? How

1012
00:51:13,840 --> 00:51:15,320
Speaker 1: many years? Fourteen?

1013
00:51:16,280 --> 00:51:18,120
Speaker 2: And you started when you're fourteen, which is quite interesting,

1014
00:51:18,320 --> 00:51:20,520
Speaker 2: see forteen, And I'm just looking at you.

1015
00:51:20,600 --> 00:51:23,600
Speaker 1: You look very fit. I trained really well, like I mean,

1016
00:51:23,920 --> 00:51:26,719
Speaker 1: because there's that part of the strategy around that out.

1017
00:51:27,120 --> 00:51:29,680
Speaker 1: I mean, you're you know, I think you're You're a

1018
00:51:29,760 --> 00:51:32,000
Speaker 1: bit older than me, A lot of them, not too much, No,

1019
00:51:32,080 --> 00:51:37,279
Speaker 1: a lot older. Sixty eight, so you're nearly twenty years old,

1020
00:51:37,320 --> 00:51:42,440
Speaker 1: and you when are you sixty eight? Fuck off? You

1021
00:51:42,600 --> 00:51:44,759
Speaker 1: look amazing. If I look like you when I'm sixty eight,

1022
00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:46,560
Speaker 1: I'll be thrilled. The thing is that I will be

1023
00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:50,759
Speaker 1: And I did these sums when Wolfgang was born. I'll

1024
00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:53,640
Speaker 1: be your age when he graduates high school. And I

1025
00:51:53,880 --> 00:51:57,319
Speaker 1: know because I've been through it with g she's twenty now.

1026
00:51:57,760 --> 00:52:00,239
Speaker 1: I know how much it takes to keep up with

1027
00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:08,239
Speaker 1: a sixteen seventeen year old. I need to have ability, resilience, physicality, vitality.

1028
00:52:08,480 --> 00:52:13,520
Speaker 1: I have to. I have to because the the father. Yes,

1029
00:52:13,640 --> 00:52:16,640
Speaker 1: you can have it. Audrey raised Georgia by herself. All right,

1030
00:52:16,960 --> 00:52:19,080
Speaker 1: you can your partner, yeah, or my wife your wife,

1031
00:52:19,120 --> 00:52:21,879
Speaker 1: yeah you can, Yes, you can be a single parent.

1032
00:52:22,080 --> 00:52:24,640
Speaker 1: George is her daughter. George is her daughter. Yes, and

1033
00:52:24,719 --> 00:52:27,719
Speaker 1: yes she is. How old is she? She's twenty twenty.

1034
00:52:27,840 --> 00:52:31,960
Speaker 1: She's an incredible kid, She's an amazing horn. Having a

1035
00:52:32,040 --> 00:52:35,719
Speaker 1: strong having a the absence of a father in a

1036
00:52:35,880 --> 00:52:39,480
Speaker 1: child's life is so fundamentally linked to poor outcomes for

1037
00:52:39,520 --> 00:52:42,520
Speaker 1: that kid. You know, you just you've got to fucking

1038
00:52:42,560 --> 00:52:45,120
Speaker 1: be there. You just have to. And here's my plan.

1039
00:52:45,640 --> 00:52:49,320
Speaker 1: Fit fit, fit, fit dead. Yeah, that's it, that's it.

1040
00:52:49,680 --> 00:52:52,239
Speaker 1: I saw Tracy Gram she're talking about wants to live forever. No, No,

1041
00:52:52,400 --> 00:52:55,080
Speaker 1: I'm fine. I'm fine. Like there's going to be a

1042
00:52:55,080 --> 00:52:57,040
Speaker 1: point where I stop getting scans. I'd be like, yeah,

1043
00:52:58,320 --> 00:53:00,359
Speaker 1: and maybe at a point where you're not a fit

1044
00:53:00,800 --> 00:53:03,879
Speaker 1: or no longer. Well and again, but it's a bad

1045
00:53:03,920 --> 00:53:06,279
Speaker 1: fit for purpose. So fit means to you when.

1046
00:53:06,200 --> 00:53:09,160
Speaker 2: You're let's say we're you're seventy or and or your

1047
00:53:09,239 --> 00:53:13,719
Speaker 2: and your step daughters having kids and you're let's call them,

1048
00:53:13,840 --> 00:53:15,440
Speaker 2: you've got grandkids, look after.

1049
00:53:15,560 --> 00:53:16,840
Speaker 1: I want to be if I want to take my

1050
00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:18,840
Speaker 1: grandkids to jiu jitsu and myself. Okay, what's fit for

1051
00:53:19,160 --> 00:53:23,720
Speaker 1: purpose mean to you? At that point? I can walk stairs, toilet,

1052
00:53:23,840 --> 00:53:27,480
Speaker 1: ride on a bicycle, ride the motorbike, you know, be

1053
00:53:27,560 --> 00:53:30,040
Speaker 1: able to pick up a toddler when they're being a

1054
00:53:30,080 --> 00:53:33,760
Speaker 1: pork chop. Be able to do the school run, no problem,

1055
00:53:34,080 --> 00:53:36,160
Speaker 1: you know. And if you're if you ever tried to

1056
00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:38,080
Speaker 1: get a four year old that doesn't want to get

1057
00:53:38,160 --> 00:53:40,440
Speaker 1: into a car in a car, you can't do it.

1058
00:53:40,840 --> 00:53:43,080
Speaker 1: If you've I mean, I've got a fake hip and everything,

1059
00:53:43,200 --> 00:53:46,279
Speaker 1: like you need to have meat on your bones. But

1060
00:53:46,400 --> 00:53:52,000
Speaker 1: plus our body. Only I trained to give my body

1061
00:53:52,800 --> 00:53:57,200
Speaker 1: the the neurotransmitters that I need to shift mood states

1062
00:53:57,239 --> 00:53:59,759
Speaker 1: throughout the day. All right. There's certain things that are

1063
00:54:00,440 --> 00:54:03,399
Speaker 1: released into our bloods dream but only happens when we're

1064
00:54:03,440 --> 00:54:06,800
Speaker 1: doing resistance training or kind of zone to as is

1065
00:54:06,840 --> 00:54:09,279
Speaker 1: known training. And if we don't do those, we're doing

1066
00:54:09,280 --> 00:54:11,520
Speaker 1: ourselves at a service. We're designed to move, we're designed

1067
00:54:11,520 --> 00:54:14,080
Speaker 1: to lift. If we live a sedentary life, we actually

1068
00:54:14,200 --> 00:54:17,040
Speaker 1: have to deliberately move our bodies because our brains don't

1069
00:54:17,040 --> 00:54:19,800
Speaker 1: work properly. We don't digest food properly, we don't sleep properly.

1070
00:54:20,280 --> 00:54:23,960
Speaker 1: The endogenous things that can get released into my system,

1071
00:54:25,160 --> 00:54:26,839
Speaker 1: you must come around. I don't know if it's your thing,

1072
00:54:27,120 --> 00:54:30,400
Speaker 1: but the first thing that I did when I figured

1073
00:54:30,440 --> 00:54:33,080
Speaker 1: out that I was no longer having these two big

1074
00:54:33,160 --> 00:54:37,200
Speaker 1: TV jobs. Was install a sorta in my backyard because

1075
00:54:37,480 --> 00:54:39,560
Speaker 1: I now have this little space where I just sit

1076
00:54:39,640 --> 00:54:43,719
Speaker 1: and think, expose myself, to deliberately expose myself to discomfort.

1077
00:54:44,440 --> 00:54:46,600
Speaker 1: And then I jump into the little pond, the little

1078
00:54:47,080 --> 00:54:51,480
Speaker 1: cold water thing, and I can feel the endogenous opioids

1079
00:54:51,560 --> 00:54:56,600
Speaker 1: just get released into my body does internally, which could

1080
00:54:56,600 --> 00:54:58,719
Speaker 1: be a drug. And I'll sit there and I'll look

1081
00:54:58,760 --> 00:55:01,279
Speaker 1: at the stars and I'll think about the photons that

1082
00:55:01,360 --> 00:55:05,280
Speaker 1: are hitting my eyeballs left that object before humanity even existed.

1083
00:55:06,239 --> 00:55:11,280
Speaker 1: I'm like, I am so high right now, but naturally, naturally,

1084
00:55:11,440 --> 00:55:13,440
Speaker 1: and I haven't had to call anyone to buy any

1085
00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:17,200
Speaker 1: anything from anywhere, and I'm able to induce this state

1086
00:55:17,920 --> 00:55:21,000
Speaker 1: if but you can't sell that all right, and you

1087
00:55:21,080 --> 00:55:23,680
Speaker 1: can't market that, and you can't get the Queensland cricket

1088
00:55:23,719 --> 00:55:25,879
Speaker 1: team on a fishing trip in the word Sundays telling

1089
00:55:25,920 --> 00:55:28,160
Speaker 1: you that everything's going to be awesome if you crack

1090
00:55:28,239 --> 00:55:30,480
Speaker 1: a can of it all right, which is what I believed.

1091
00:55:30,680 --> 00:55:33,959
Speaker 1: Marketing did a lot of jobs, you know, and having

1092
00:55:34,160 --> 00:55:38,200
Speaker 1: that knowledge is amazing, and certainly like when I'm in

1093
00:55:38,320 --> 00:55:41,320
Speaker 1: that and saut and I'm an idiot, you know, so

1094
00:55:41,600 --> 00:55:44,920
Speaker 1: I push it. I know, you know, I do a

1095
00:55:45,000 --> 00:55:48,800
Speaker 1: Paris like Paris was it called polyvagel breathing, which is

1096
00:55:48,880 --> 00:55:52,000
Speaker 1: five in ten out ye simulates your vagus nerve, which

1097
00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:54,800
Speaker 1: is how you can induce a calming sometimes breathing. So

1098
00:55:55,239 --> 00:55:56,880
Speaker 1: it hurts like fuck right, I mean there, it's like

1099
00:55:56,960 --> 00:55:59,680
Speaker 1: really uncomfortable, but I know by count two of the

1100
00:55:59,800 --> 00:56:02,879
Speaker 1: X I'll be fine. And I'm good till about count

1101
00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:04,840
Speaker 1: seven of the xhale and then it starts to be

1102
00:56:04,880 --> 00:56:07,200
Speaker 1: really uncomfortable again. But then I know it's cool. Man,

1103
00:56:07,360 --> 00:56:09,279
Speaker 1: I only got like eight more counts and I'll be

1104
00:56:09,360 --> 00:56:12,080
Speaker 1: okay again. And just training myself to be with that

1105
00:56:12,120 --> 00:56:14,720
Speaker 1: is comfort. It never gets easy. But what it does

1106
00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:17,080
Speaker 1: is that things that used to shit me just don't

1107
00:56:17,080 --> 00:56:20,600
Speaker 1: shit me the most anymore. And it's extraordinary. And it's

1108
00:56:20,960 --> 00:56:22,960
Speaker 1: all I'm talking about, is like I'm building my resilience

1109
00:56:22,960 --> 00:56:25,840
Speaker 1: and keeping my resilience, and I think it's so important

1110
00:56:25,880 --> 00:56:28,640
Speaker 1: as we get older, we have to very deliberately do it.

1111
00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:32,080
Speaker 1: My mum was a doctor until the day she saw

1112
00:56:32,160 --> 00:56:34,479
Speaker 1: her own X ray and went, yeah, I got about

1113
00:56:34,520 --> 00:56:37,520
Speaker 1: six months with the cancer diagnosed, so she diagnosed herself

1114
00:56:37,560 --> 00:56:41,399
Speaker 1: looking at her own X ray. She would always say,

1115
00:56:41,600 --> 00:56:43,520
Speaker 1: over the age of forty, make your body your hobby,

1116
00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:47,520
Speaker 1: whatever it is. No model train sets, you know, golf, tennis,

1117
00:56:47,800 --> 00:56:51,120
Speaker 1: fucking gardening, whatever, you make your body your hobby. You've

1118
00:56:51,120 --> 00:56:53,640
Speaker 1: got to make the physical movement at part of your day.

1119
00:56:54,239 --> 00:56:56,440
Speaker 1: Commute under your own power when you can. We are

1120
00:56:56,520 --> 00:56:58,160
Speaker 1: designed to move, we're designed to lift. And as a

1121
00:56:58,280 --> 00:57:00,719
Speaker 1: certain point in life, as you know, if you don't

1122
00:57:00,760 --> 00:57:03,640
Speaker 1: look after it like you're probably the fittest of in

1123
00:57:03,760 --> 00:57:05,800
Speaker 1: a good way. I dare say you've got the genes.

1124
00:57:05,840 --> 00:57:08,640
Speaker 1: Bear in mind my grandfather, who was a doctor as

1125
00:57:08,680 --> 00:57:11,480
Speaker 1: well in Adelaide, got off the boat from Lithuania. He

1126
00:57:11,640 --> 00:57:15,680
Speaker 1: was like, I only see old Greek guys. I don't

1127
00:57:15,719 --> 00:57:19,160
Speaker 1: see any old Irish guys or Poms or anyone. I

1128
00:57:19,240 --> 00:57:22,320
Speaker 1: only see old Greek guys. What is it this? And

1129
00:57:22,480 --> 00:57:26,720
Speaker 1: he so there's my Lithuanian grandfather eating feta jeese, and like,

1130
00:57:26,880 --> 00:57:28,880
Speaker 1: you don't discovery like this is in the fifties. Man,

1131
00:57:29,160 --> 00:57:30,680
Speaker 1: he kind of knew something was up because that was

1132
00:57:30,680 --> 00:57:33,560
Speaker 1: the only old men that he saw. So there's something

1133
00:57:33,600 --> 00:57:33,800
Speaker 1: in it.

1134
00:57:33,960 --> 00:57:36,800
Speaker 2: Now I agree with that, but unfortunately, not unfortunate. But

1135
00:57:37,120 --> 00:57:39,640
Speaker 2: my mum's Irish, so my dad's greet my mother's Irish.

1136
00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:43,000
Speaker 2: But I but I guess hopefully I get other things

1137
00:57:43,040 --> 00:57:44,160
Speaker 2: from from my mother's.

1138
00:57:44,040 --> 00:57:46,160
Speaker 1: But by this it's most it's diet, man, It's like anything.

1139
00:57:47,560 --> 00:57:50,439
Speaker 2: And it's funny you should say, because it's mental health

1140
00:57:51,560 --> 00:57:54,080
Speaker 2: is a part of our overall health regime, so we

1141
00:57:54,640 --> 00:57:57,480
Speaker 2: tend to forget about it. But but for me, if

1142
00:57:57,560 --> 00:58:01,240
Speaker 2: I do physical health, my mental health will follow or

1143
00:58:01,360 --> 00:58:04,120
Speaker 2: can follow, as long as I'm not doing anything. You

1144
00:58:04,440 --> 00:58:07,440
Speaker 2: use word endogenous before. I think the exogenouscy is really

1145
00:58:07,480 --> 00:58:10,840
Speaker 2: important for me. It's about what I put in my body.

1146
00:58:11,120 --> 00:58:14,080
Speaker 2: Absolutely yeah, And because I can do the rest myself.

1147
00:58:14,080 --> 00:58:16,200
Speaker 2: If I put just the basics in, the good stuff in,

1148
00:58:16,840 --> 00:58:19,280
Speaker 2: I don't need to have anything exotic coming in. I

1149
00:58:19,360 --> 00:58:22,080
Speaker 2: don't really need to have booze. I don't drink much anymore.

1150
00:58:22,280 --> 00:58:25,840
Speaker 2: I definitely don't have any drugs. I try to resist

1151
00:58:27,040 --> 00:58:29,800
Speaker 2: medications as much as I can, but obviously that you

1152
00:58:29,880 --> 00:58:32,000
Speaker 2: have to take some medications from time time because if

1153
00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:35,560
Speaker 2: you get ill, but just relying on your own body

1154
00:58:35,600 --> 00:58:37,800
Speaker 2: to produce what it is you need, we're so fucking efficient.

1155
00:58:37,880 --> 00:58:41,440
Speaker 1: It's ridiculous. As long as we fuel ourselves properly, you've

1156
00:58:41,480 --> 00:58:45,200
Speaker 1: got to. You've got to, and on medications. I'm on

1157
00:58:45,520 --> 00:58:49,960
Speaker 1: meds now. I have the life I have because very

1158
00:58:50,200 --> 00:58:53,880
Speaker 1: very clever psychiatrists have come to help me. And that's

1159
00:58:53,920 --> 00:58:56,400
Speaker 1: the only like the life I have of the career

1160
00:58:56,480 --> 00:58:59,560
Speaker 1: I have. The relationships I have are because of the

1161
00:58:59,640 --> 00:59:01,600
Speaker 1: meds my mind. But the meds don't do the job

1162
00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:06,840
Speaker 1: all right. As a cyclist, anyone would be familiar with

1163
00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:10,840
Speaker 1: the great Lance Armstrong battles up the alp Do Wars.

1164
00:59:10,880 --> 00:59:12,560
Speaker 1: You see any photos of him, and they learn their

1165
00:59:12,600 --> 00:59:14,919
Speaker 1: documentaries later on. You know that everyone is on the gear,

1166
00:59:15,160 --> 00:59:17,440
Speaker 1: But you see photo of Lance paddling up the alp

1167
00:59:17,480 --> 00:59:21,080
Speaker 1: Do wears. He's working his fucking balls off, right, Yeah,

1168
00:59:21,200 --> 00:59:23,400
Speaker 1: sure he's got everything running through his veins, but you

1169
00:59:23,480 --> 00:59:27,240
Speaker 1: still got to work hard to get the gold jersey. Right. Similarly,

1170
00:59:27,560 --> 00:59:29,160
Speaker 1: you can take the meds, but the meds don't make

1171
00:59:29,200 --> 00:59:31,080
Speaker 1: it better. The meds just to make it easier to

1172
00:59:31,160 --> 00:59:35,080
Speaker 1: do the actual work. So last night I'm there with

1173
00:59:35,200 --> 00:59:37,480
Speaker 1: my big ring bound book. I'm doing all my writing.

1174
00:59:37,520 --> 00:59:40,040
Speaker 1: I'm doing. There's certain processes that I do that involve

1175
00:59:40,120 --> 00:59:41,440
Speaker 1: writing down. I do it in the morning when I

1176
00:59:41,520 --> 00:59:43,440
Speaker 1: have a couple of coffee before everyone wakes up. The

1177
00:59:43,560 --> 00:59:45,760
Speaker 1: stuff that happens every single day. So what are you

1178
00:59:45,840 --> 00:59:48,840
Speaker 1: doing now? You got your podcast? What's your podcast called? Oh?

1179
00:59:48,960 --> 00:59:52,480
Speaker 1: My podcast is called better than Yesterday? Because how many

1180
00:59:52,560 --> 00:59:57,320
Speaker 1: times a week, three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays and

1181
00:59:57,360 --> 00:59:59,320
Speaker 1: Fridays three times a week, three times a week. I

1182
00:59:59,400 --> 01:00:01,720
Speaker 1: can't make this podcast in twenty thirteen.

1183
01:00:01,880 --> 01:00:05,120
Speaker 2: Wow, you're one of the early starters. I was late,

1184
01:00:06,160 --> 01:00:09,440
Speaker 2: but in terms of Australia, there's not too many podcasts thirteen.

1185
01:00:09,560 --> 01:00:15,040
Speaker 1: And it's interesting because independent digital broadcasting is is now

1186
01:00:15,160 --> 01:00:18,840
Speaker 1: one of my main revenue streams, and so I'm in this.

1187
01:00:19,520 --> 01:00:23,560
Speaker 1: I've chosen. You know, people like movie quotes because it

1188
01:00:23,640 --> 01:00:26,800
Speaker 1: sums things up. I think my favorite one it used

1189
01:00:26,840 --> 01:00:28,400
Speaker 1: to be You're going to need a bigger boat, which

1190
01:00:28,440 --> 01:00:31,840
Speaker 1: I do love. But it's Heiman Roth to Michael Corleoni

1191
01:00:31,960 --> 01:00:36,120
Speaker 1: Godfather Part two, where Roth is complaining to Corleoni about

1192
01:00:36,160 --> 01:00:38,240
Speaker 1: a friend of his who got whacked and Collieroni ordered

1193
01:00:38,280 --> 01:00:41,800
Speaker 1: the whacking and he goes. But I never complained because

1194
01:00:41,840 --> 01:00:45,040
Speaker 1: it was business, and this is the business we have chosen.

1195
01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:49,880
Speaker 1: I chose this. I chose to have spent the last

1196
01:00:50,320 --> 01:00:54,560
Speaker 1: thirty two years of my life getting really fucking good

1197
01:00:55,000 --> 01:00:58,240
Speaker 1: at doing this and to this business which is now

1198
01:00:58,320 --> 01:01:05,040
Speaker 1: currently experiencing extraordinary contraction and correction and transformation restructure huge.

1199
01:01:05,200 --> 01:01:07,640
Speaker 1: I have this very particular set of skills to quite

1200
01:01:07,640 --> 01:01:12,160
Speaker 1: another film. Where do I deploy them? How do I

1201
01:01:12,720 --> 01:01:14,919
Speaker 1: make sure that I can put myself in the value chain?

1202
01:01:15,960 --> 01:01:17,600
Speaker 1: And how can I make sure that I make something

1203
01:01:17,680 --> 01:01:20,400
Speaker 1: that is in accordance with my values? Which I did

1204
01:01:20,440 --> 01:01:24,200
Speaker 1: want to ask you. I believe it was the notorious

1205
01:01:24,240 --> 01:01:26,200
Speaker 1: Big who said, the more money you've got, the more

1206
01:01:26,240 --> 01:01:30,320
Speaker 1: problems you see. You don't need to work, You don't

1207
01:01:30,360 --> 01:01:32,880
Speaker 1: need to do what we're doing right now. Why are

1208
01:01:32,960 --> 01:01:35,200
Speaker 1: you sitting here selfishly?

1209
01:01:37,160 --> 01:01:40,160
Speaker 2: You're right, But I do need to because I'm not

1210
01:01:40,240 --> 01:01:43,360
Speaker 2: a very social person, and this is my social interaction.

1211
01:01:43,560 --> 01:01:46,120
Speaker 2: So ordinarily I would never get to meet you, perhaps,

1212
01:01:46,200 --> 01:01:47,600
Speaker 2: or if I did, it would have to go somewhere

1213
01:01:47,600 --> 01:01:50,800
Speaker 2: to meet you, which I don't like doing because I've

1214
01:01:50,960 --> 01:01:53,480
Speaker 2: never been good at it. So I get to sit

1215
01:01:53,600 --> 01:01:56,960
Speaker 2: down with Issha Ginsburg, so I can sit here with

1216
01:01:57,040 --> 01:01:59,040
Speaker 2: you for an hour and a bit and find out

1217
01:01:59,040 --> 01:01:59,919
Speaker 2: about your life.

1218
01:02:00,040 --> 01:02:02,280
Speaker 1: I'm socializing with you at the same time. But I'm

1219
01:02:02,280 --> 01:02:05,120
Speaker 1: also learning. I did notice you struggled making eye contact

1220
01:02:05,160 --> 01:02:06,479
Speaker 1: with me for the first five minutes.

1221
01:02:06,480 --> 01:02:08,920
Speaker 2: I'm not very good at I'm in fact, I'm hopeless

1222
01:02:08,960 --> 01:02:11,800
Speaker 2: at it, hopeless, But I do get up in stage

1223
01:02:11,800 --> 01:02:14,400
Speaker 2: all the time once a week and I'll perform and

1224
01:02:14,520 --> 01:02:15,880
Speaker 2: people can't believe it.

1225
01:02:15,960 --> 01:02:18,000
Speaker 1: But when I get off the stage, I can't wait

1226
01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:19,200
Speaker 1: to get Out've got to get out of get the

1227
01:02:19,200 --> 01:02:20,760
Speaker 1: fuck out of there. I've got to get out of

1228
01:02:20,760 --> 01:02:22,640
Speaker 1: there because I'm just no good at the other stuff.

1229
01:02:23,040 --> 01:02:28,000
Speaker 1: So for me, maybe I have some of these neurodivergent things.

1230
01:02:28,040 --> 01:02:31,080
Speaker 2: I'm not here to disclose my particular problems, but or

1231
01:02:31,120 --> 01:02:32,960
Speaker 2: issues are not problems issues, but who I am.

1232
01:02:33,360 --> 01:02:36,600
Speaker 1: But I selfishly do this because I get a great

1233
01:02:36,600 --> 01:02:39,240
Speaker 1: deal out of it. I had to come to this

1234
01:02:39,360 --> 01:02:42,760
Speaker 1: to Jim Fannon wrote a book call He's the guy

1235
01:02:42,840 --> 01:02:46,680
Speaker 1: that took Alex Rodrid Alex Rodriguez from the Texas Rangers

1236
01:02:46,720 --> 01:02:49,160
Speaker 1: to the New York Yankees. He's the guy that took

1237
01:02:49,240 --> 01:02:52,360
Speaker 1: a gassie to you know where you got to He said,

1238
01:02:52,400 --> 01:02:54,160
Speaker 1: you got to ask what is the thing that you

1239
01:02:54,280 --> 01:02:56,200
Speaker 1: do best? What is the thing you do better than anybody.

1240
01:02:56,560 --> 01:02:58,600
Speaker 1: And that's the thing you think about when you're at

1241
01:02:58,600 --> 01:03:01,160
Speaker 1: the stadium screaming and whatever. Whatever. He's got to be

1242
01:03:01,240 --> 01:03:04,320
Speaker 1: one sentence. And it took me a long time to

1243
01:03:04,360 --> 01:03:07,600
Speaker 1: think about that. But I have one job. My job

1244
01:03:07,680 --> 01:03:10,280
Speaker 1: is to make people feel less alone. That's it. Whether

1245
01:03:10,360 --> 01:03:12,880
Speaker 1: I do that in a podcast, on stage, screaming, take

1246
01:03:12,880 --> 01:03:15,120
Speaker 1: it off at a giant popcorn machine. The writing I do,

1247
01:03:15,280 --> 01:03:18,040
Speaker 1: writing a book, being on stage myself, doing a keynote,

1248
01:03:18,120 --> 01:03:22,200
Speaker 1: speaking with somebody, whatever it is, that's my job. That's

1249
01:03:22,240 --> 01:03:23,400
Speaker 1: the thing that I do and the thing that I

1250
01:03:23,440 --> 01:03:24,680
Speaker 1: would get out of bed to do if I got

1251
01:03:24,720 --> 01:03:26,960
Speaker 1: paid to or not. All right, So I would ask

1252
01:03:27,000 --> 01:03:29,760
Speaker 1: you the same question. My job is to ask people questions.

1253
01:03:30,680 --> 01:03:35,080
Speaker 1: That's the truth. Yeah, what's the thing that you What's

1254
01:03:35,120 --> 01:03:37,320
Speaker 1: the value you get out of that? It's not the

1255
01:03:37,400 --> 01:03:39,360
Speaker 1: value I get it. It's the value they get from answering.

1256
01:03:39,440 --> 01:03:40,480
Speaker 1: They've got to get something out of it.

1257
01:03:40,640 --> 01:03:42,600
Speaker 2: No, I like to hear people answer the questions, Yeah,

1258
01:03:42,840 --> 01:03:45,120
Speaker 2: what do I give you? I learned about myself or

1259
01:03:45,240 --> 01:03:48,400
Speaker 2: remind myself about things about myself. So this is this

1260
01:03:48,480 --> 01:03:49,240
Speaker 2: is therapy for me.

1261
01:03:50,960 --> 01:03:52,840
Speaker 1: I know a guy I don't know. I have sent

1262
01:03:52,920 --> 01:03:55,439
Speaker 1: that many therapists kids through primers girls, I'm sure people,

1263
01:03:57,240 --> 01:03:59,840
Speaker 1: and I think that's also therapy for me.

1264
01:04:00,320 --> 01:04:03,680
Speaker 2: When you're speaking, I'm thinking about similar events in my

1265
01:04:03,720 --> 01:04:06,960
Speaker 2: own life, not just you, but other people coming ony chair.

1266
01:04:07,760 --> 01:04:09,400
Speaker 2: And that's why I have such a diverse set of

1267
01:04:09,440 --> 01:04:11,920
Speaker 2: people in for straight Talk. Straight Talk started off as

1268
01:04:11,920 --> 01:04:13,680
Speaker 2: a thing I did because I was originally a bit bored.

1269
01:04:14,200 --> 01:04:16,360
Speaker 2: We're doing my other podcast, the Mentalk, and I thought

1270
01:04:16,520 --> 01:04:19,480
Speaker 2: I would mind talking to people, just anybody. And then

1271
01:04:19,520 --> 01:04:22,320
Speaker 2: I started talking to you know, adult porn stars and

1272
01:04:22,520 --> 01:04:25,320
Speaker 2: murderers and all sorts of things, and I thought.

1273
01:04:25,400 --> 01:04:27,160
Speaker 1: This is pretty good. I really enjoy it.

1274
01:04:27,640 --> 01:04:30,760
Speaker 2: And then it is very selfish because we all have

1275
01:04:30,840 --> 01:04:34,080
Speaker 2: a little bit of a character and everybody I see

1276
01:04:34,120 --> 01:04:35,880
Speaker 2: a little bit of my character, and every just about

1277
01:04:35,920 --> 01:04:36,800
Speaker 2: everyone who sits there.

1278
01:04:36,880 --> 01:04:38,800
Speaker 1: Not that I've ever been a porn star, but I

1279
01:04:38,840 --> 01:04:41,520
Speaker 1: have a little you know, well, but maybe I could

1280
01:04:41,560 --> 01:04:44,280
Speaker 1: have been, you know what I mean. Shit, you haven't

1281
01:04:44,280 --> 01:04:46,400
Speaker 1: seen a video, have you any joke?

1282
01:04:47,080 --> 01:04:49,760
Speaker 2: But I'm just saying I see a little bit of

1283
01:04:49,800 --> 01:04:51,520
Speaker 2: myself and everybody who sits in front of you, and

1284
01:04:51,680 --> 01:04:53,720
Speaker 2: I think it's important for you to have a look

1285
01:04:53,720 --> 01:04:55,760
Speaker 2: in the mirror, yeah, and find out of base.

1286
01:04:55,960 --> 01:05:00,320
Speaker 1: But this is the thing that I really we really

1287
01:05:00,400 --> 01:05:03,600
Speaker 1: believe that we talked about looking after our bodies, what

1288
01:05:03,640 --> 01:05:06,640
Speaker 1: we put into our bodies. If you pulled someone out

1289
01:05:06,640 --> 01:05:12,080
Speaker 1: of a glacier in Norway, we would be fundamentally the

1290
01:05:12,280 --> 01:05:15,919
Speaker 1: same physiologically as the dawn of humanity three hundred thousand

1291
01:05:15,960 --> 01:05:18,680
Speaker 1: years ago. We're exactly the fucking same. There's nothing different physically.

1292
01:05:18,800 --> 01:05:20,800
Speaker 1: We probably have access to more calories, and you know,

1293
01:05:20,840 --> 01:05:22,959
Speaker 1: we have antibiotics things like this, but we are the same.

1294
01:05:23,040 --> 01:05:26,200
Speaker 1: We are creatures that everything was evolutionary, Everything in our

1295
01:05:26,200 --> 01:05:29,960
Speaker 1: bodies evolutionary. We're predisposed to things that are negative because

1296
01:05:29,960 --> 01:05:31,880
Speaker 1: that kept us alive, which is why the new cycle

1297
01:05:32,080 --> 01:05:34,200
Speaker 1: was like, fucking everything's on fire. Because their business is

1298
01:05:34,280 --> 01:05:35,960
Speaker 1: not to tell you the news. Their businesses to keep

1299
01:05:36,000 --> 01:05:38,720
Speaker 1: you on their platform, to sell you ads. That's their business.

1300
01:05:38,960 --> 01:05:45,800
Speaker 1: Be careful. So similarly, there's a whole community aspect things

1301
01:05:45,840 --> 01:05:48,240
Speaker 1: that get released in our brains only when we are

1302
01:05:48,520 --> 01:05:51,760
Speaker 1: helping another person, moving in concert with another person moving

1303
01:05:51,800 --> 01:05:54,520
Speaker 1: at the same time, singing together, being with each other,

1304
01:05:54,880 --> 01:05:57,320
Speaker 1: helping each other do a collective thing. There are things

1305
01:05:57,360 --> 01:05:59,360
Speaker 1: that happen in our brains only when that happens. And

1306
01:05:59,640 --> 01:06:02,200
Speaker 1: more more, as we sit in the room alone looking

1307
01:06:02,240 --> 01:06:05,360
Speaker 1: at a screen, we are denying ourselves these things. And

1308
01:06:05,480 --> 01:06:08,760
Speaker 1: ultimately that leaves us as a community, as a society,

1309
01:06:08,880 --> 01:06:12,040
Speaker 1: far more fragile, and that's a dangerous place for us

1310
01:06:12,120 --> 01:06:16,160
Speaker 1: and as individuals and as individuals. But wholly, we've become

1311
01:06:16,240 --> 01:06:20,160
Speaker 1: very suspicious and jumpy and worried about oh, fucking brown

1312
01:06:20,200 --> 01:06:23,760
Speaker 1: people or whatever the fuck is lately, and we're really

1313
01:06:23,760 --> 01:06:26,280
Speaker 1: easy to push around and manipulate. Yeah, totally no, And

1314
01:06:26,360 --> 01:06:27,560
Speaker 1: they were not thinking for ourselves.

1315
01:06:27,680 --> 01:06:33,840
Speaker 2: And institutions or organizations or businesses or people will manipulate us, absolutely,

1316
01:06:33,840 --> 01:06:36,880
Speaker 2: because that's the nature of humans. If there's an opportunity

1317
01:06:36,880 --> 01:06:40,040
Speaker 2: to manipulate to get advantage, that's sort of nearly an

1318
01:06:40,080 --> 01:06:40,840
Speaker 2: evolutionary thing.

1319
01:06:41,080 --> 01:06:45,040
Speaker 1: The antidote to that is to deliberately try to You

1320
01:06:45,160 --> 01:06:47,400
Speaker 1: can do it. You can replicate the kind of conditions

1321
01:06:47,440 --> 01:06:50,960
Speaker 1: that we evolved in, which was a small cohort of people.

1322
01:06:51,440 --> 01:06:53,800
Speaker 1: If you like, think five people that you would trust

1323
01:06:53,920 --> 01:06:56,680
Speaker 1: to call if you couldn't make the pickup from school.

1324
01:06:57,240 --> 01:07:00,520
Speaker 1: All right, you need to find start with one, all right.

1325
01:07:00,600 --> 01:07:02,840
Speaker 1: If you've got one, you're lucky. Try to find five.

1326
01:07:03,040 --> 01:07:05,360
Speaker 1: All right, You've got five people in your life and

1327
01:07:05,560 --> 01:07:08,360
Speaker 1: relationships that take nurturing. They like pot plants, you got

1328
01:07:08,440 --> 01:07:11,280
Speaker 1: to you gotta keep them alive. You got those five people.

1329
01:07:11,640 --> 01:07:15,440
Speaker 1: Because of that, you'll create this thing around you, and

1330
01:07:15,560 --> 01:07:18,520
Speaker 1: your problems when you face them will not be yours

1331
01:07:18,560 --> 01:07:21,840
Speaker 1: alone to face that will be people get around you.

1332
01:07:22,120 --> 01:07:24,560
Speaker 1: And that makes that's what we're designed for. We're never

1333
01:07:24,640 --> 01:07:27,320
Speaker 1: designed to hold things by ourselves. So it's important that

1334
01:07:27,400 --> 01:07:29,320
Speaker 1: we actually actively cultivate this.

1335
01:07:29,880 --> 01:07:32,160
Speaker 2: And so I'm glad that you're doing this, and I

1336
01:07:32,280 --> 01:07:35,280
Speaker 2: am doing and I just and I try to take

1337
01:07:35,320 --> 01:07:37,080
Speaker 2: one or two things out out of everything I do,

1338
01:07:37,240 --> 01:07:38,880
Speaker 2: every show I do. And one thing I'm just going

1339
01:07:38,960 --> 01:07:40,040
Speaker 2: to take out of it is what you just said.

1340
01:07:40,040 --> 01:07:42,960
Speaker 2: It's a very it's a really good analogy. People like

1341
01:07:43,320 --> 01:07:45,720
Speaker 2: are like pot plants. For anyone who's used to being

1342
01:07:45,760 --> 01:07:49,120
Speaker 2: a gardener, which I am, and you do have to.

1343
01:07:50,040 --> 01:07:52,000
Speaker 2: You have to look after things otherwise they just want

1344
01:07:52,000 --> 01:07:53,560
Speaker 2: to grow on their own and won survive on their own.

1345
01:07:53,720 --> 01:07:55,920
Speaker 2: They need water, they need nutrition, they need light, they

1346
01:07:56,000 --> 01:07:58,560
Speaker 2: need fresh air, they need maybe to take some dust off.

1347
01:07:58,600 --> 01:08:00,320
Speaker 1: They need to be looked at. You need look at

1348
01:08:00,400 --> 01:08:03,520
Speaker 1: them and be part of it. And you're right.

1349
01:08:04,600 --> 01:08:07,480
Speaker 2: You can't look after fifty things in a garden. You

1350
01:08:07,560 --> 01:08:10,640
Speaker 2: can look after maybe three, four, five perhaps, And that's

1351
01:08:10,680 --> 01:08:13,920
Speaker 2: a good point. So don't beat yourself up. A lot

1352
01:08:13,960 --> 01:08:15,520
Speaker 2: of people beat themselves up. I don't have a big

1353
01:08:15,600 --> 01:08:19,800
Speaker 2: enough group. It's not possible to have a big enough

1354
01:08:19,880 --> 01:08:22,439
Speaker 2: proper group. You can might have hundreds of people that

1355
01:08:22,560 --> 01:08:24,679
Speaker 2: you know, you just talk to them, so ohahah blah blah,

1356
01:08:24,920 --> 01:08:25,880
Speaker 2: but they're not your pop plans.

1357
01:08:25,920 --> 01:08:28,320
Speaker 1: Facebook friends won't can't help you move a couch. No, no, totally.

1358
01:08:28,760 --> 01:08:30,880
Speaker 2: So and that's really that's a really good point that

1359
01:08:31,040 --> 01:08:33,200
Speaker 2: I'm going to glad you sort of you articulate that

1360
01:08:33,240 --> 01:08:34,000
Speaker 2: to me, and it's a very.

1361
01:08:34,080 --> 01:08:37,719
Speaker 1: It's my job and you're very good at it, and it's.

1362
01:08:39,080 --> 01:08:41,120
Speaker 2: And it goes right back to a very question to me,

1363
01:08:41,720 --> 01:08:43,800
Speaker 2: what do this sort of stuff? I take something out

1364
01:08:43,800 --> 01:08:47,200
Speaker 2: of everything, and it is therapy for me. And I

1365
01:08:47,240 --> 01:08:50,040
Speaker 2: don't mean it in a sense that that I have

1366
01:08:50,160 --> 01:08:52,240
Speaker 2: some major issue, but it is therapy for me. And

1367
01:08:52,320 --> 01:08:54,120
Speaker 2: I think everybody needs therapy too, And I don't think

1368
01:08:54,120 --> 01:08:56,160
Speaker 2: anybody needs to be you know, and we don't need to.

1369
01:08:56,479 --> 01:08:59,000
Speaker 2: And I also don't believe we need to be Anyone

1370
01:08:59,040 --> 01:09:00,920
Speaker 2: needs to tell us that we are. We fit into

1371
01:09:00,920 --> 01:09:03,600
Speaker 2: a certain category. We're all a bit unusual, every one

1372
01:09:03,640 --> 01:09:03,880
Speaker 2: of us.

1373
01:09:03,920 --> 01:09:07,400
Speaker 1: Therapy just another way of reflecting, as we take us

1374
01:09:07,439 --> 01:09:09,639
Speaker 1: back to the first part of our conversation is therapy

1375
01:09:09,760 --> 01:09:12,439
Speaker 1: just reflecting our choices. We may not realize that we've

1376
01:09:12,479 --> 01:09:15,160
Speaker 1: been making, or choices we haven't been making. Yeah, and

1377
01:09:15,200 --> 01:09:17,320
Speaker 1: they're going, maybe I could choose something else correct, And

1378
01:09:17,360 --> 01:09:18,920
Speaker 1: if we do it enough times and that becomes the

1379
01:09:18,960 --> 01:09:21,760
Speaker 1: automatic that then we think about it as much as

1380
01:09:21,840 --> 01:09:24,200
Speaker 1: we we won't out of stick shifts anymore. But there

1381
01:09:24,280 --> 01:09:26,280
Speaker 1: was a time, the very first time you reverse down

1382
01:09:26,320 --> 01:09:28,080
Speaker 1: a driveway and a stick shift, you're like, everyone fucking

1383
01:09:28,080 --> 01:09:31,360
Speaker 1: shut up. You know, you couldn't do anything. But then

1384
01:09:31,479 --> 01:09:33,240
Speaker 1: you know, cut to you a year later. You don't

1385
01:09:33,280 --> 01:09:35,519
Speaker 1: eat a sandwich, putting the radio on toile or someone,

1386
01:09:35,840 --> 01:09:39,240
Speaker 1: you know, whatever, those automatic behaviors we may not realize

1387
01:09:39,560 --> 01:09:41,760
Speaker 1: if they're serving us or not. Especially we do it

1388
01:09:41,840 --> 01:09:43,960
Speaker 1: enough and enough and enough, and when we reflect through

1389
01:09:44,000 --> 01:09:45,920
Speaker 1: a conversation, we go hang on a second or about

1390
01:09:45,920 --> 01:09:47,040
Speaker 1: that maybe I might try something else.

1391
01:09:47,200 --> 01:09:49,200
Speaker 2: And I think that's why podcasts. What you do, what

1392
01:09:49,400 --> 01:09:51,040
Speaker 2: I do, and a lot of other people do too.

1393
01:09:51,280 --> 01:09:55,360
Speaker 2: Podcasts is so important because what we see on unfortunately

1394
01:09:55,439 --> 01:09:57,280
Speaker 2: here on radio, and I love radio, I still listen,

1395
01:09:57,840 --> 01:09:59,000
Speaker 2: but we're here on radio, it's like.

1396
01:09:59,200 --> 01:10:01,439
Speaker 1: Four minute sections, three minute sections, and there's an ad.

1397
01:10:01,840 --> 01:10:04,639
Speaker 2: Televisions are the same, it's forty two minutes of TV,

1398
01:10:04,840 --> 01:10:08,160
Speaker 2: but it's all sort of overproduced.

1399
01:10:08,280 --> 01:10:09,240
Speaker 1: In my view.

1400
01:10:10,560 --> 01:10:13,000
Speaker 2: Podcasts are great because people are an opportunit to listen

1401
01:10:13,000 --> 01:10:15,960
Speaker 2: to a whole conversation, our whole conversation we've had today,

1402
01:10:16,160 --> 01:10:18,280
Speaker 2: and get a full context and take out of it

1403
01:10:18,360 --> 01:10:19,759
Speaker 2: what they think is important for themselves.

1404
01:10:19,960 --> 01:10:20,960
Speaker 1: That's what podcasting is.

1405
01:10:21,560 --> 01:10:24,439
Speaker 2: I think will emerge as the number one media such

1406
01:10:24,439 --> 01:10:27,760
Speaker 2: an intimate form of broadcast, and particularly particularly for men,

1407
01:10:28,040 --> 01:10:31,240
Speaker 2: because men don't talk face to face.

1408
01:10:31,320 --> 01:10:33,280
Speaker 1: This is uncommon. Yeah, don't talk face to face. Men

1409
01:10:33,360 --> 01:10:36,000
Speaker 1: talk shoulder to shoulder. Yeah all right, and men's speech

1410
01:10:36,080 --> 01:10:40,120
Speaker 1: centers only really work properly when they're moving, so men

1411
01:10:40,280 --> 01:10:42,679
Speaker 1: tend to listen Like I, I don't listen to podcasts.

1412
01:10:42,720 --> 01:10:44,200
Speaker 1: I don't sit there in the room by myself listen

1413
01:10:44,200 --> 01:10:46,439
Speaker 1: to a podcast. Oh listen to podcast while I'm doing something? Yeah,

1414
01:10:46,439 --> 01:10:49,360
Speaker 1: me too. All right, you've got emotion is involved, particularly

1415
01:10:49,400 --> 01:10:50,920
Speaker 1: with men, particularly with the kind of stuff that I

1416
01:10:50,960 --> 01:10:54,240
Speaker 1: talk about on my show. It's people are doing stuff.

1417
01:10:54,240 --> 01:10:56,400
Speaker 1: I listen to the nerdiest chit when I'm at the gym,

1418
01:10:59,040 --> 01:11:01,479
Speaker 1: be soodical. I mean, I love it. I love all

1419
01:11:01,520 --> 01:11:04,560
Speaker 1: the sciencey stuff you know, like about the brain. I

1420
01:11:04,720 --> 01:11:05,120
Speaker 1: just love it.

1421
01:11:05,840 --> 01:11:09,640
Speaker 2: And it's like it's like feeding myself, like nutrition for me,

1422
01:11:10,200 --> 01:11:12,760
Speaker 2: Like I have a massive thirst for it. And I

1423
01:11:13,200 --> 01:11:15,360
Speaker 2: wanted to myself, what the fuck was I doing before

1424
01:11:15,400 --> 01:11:18,720
Speaker 2: podcasts came up? I mean, like seriously, what was I doing?

1425
01:11:19,439 --> 01:11:22,760
Speaker 1: And I don't know? And life is a lot more

1426
01:11:22,760 --> 01:11:26,679
Speaker 1: simple then because there wasn't many marble phones around. Everything

1427
01:11:26,760 --> 01:11:27,400
Speaker 1: was much different.

1428
01:11:28,080 --> 01:11:31,559
Speaker 2: But today I don't know what I would do if

1429
01:11:31,640 --> 01:11:33,759
Speaker 2: I didn't have the opportunity to listen to podcasts, given

1430
01:11:33,760 --> 01:11:34,880
Speaker 2: all the other shit that's going on.

1431
01:11:35,800 --> 01:11:38,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, coming at us, left, right and center. I really

1432
01:11:39,000 --> 01:11:41,360
Speaker 1: enjoyed meeting. I really enjoyed this conversation.

1433
01:11:42,760 --> 01:11:46,800
Speaker 2: And I want to say, probably the most important thing

1434
01:11:46,840 --> 01:11:50,040
Speaker 2: from my point of view is your fucking dead set honesty.

1435
01:11:51,280 --> 01:11:54,000
Speaker 2: You don't care, you just say what you're real.

1436
01:11:54,720 --> 01:11:58,280
Speaker 1: Well, we have no time to be anything but an

1437
01:11:58,360 --> 01:12:01,680
Speaker 1: authentic Yeah, but I if you're going to die. I'm

1438
01:12:01,680 --> 01:12:03,080
Speaker 1: going to die. The producer in the corner is going

1439
01:12:03,120 --> 01:12:04,559
Speaker 1: to die. My kids are going to die. Everyone's going

1440
01:12:04,600 --> 01:12:06,560
Speaker 1: to die, all right. There is a there is a

1441
01:12:06,720 --> 01:12:09,200
Speaker 1: clock somewhere, Ticken that has the exact amount of hours

1442
01:12:09,200 --> 01:12:11,240
Speaker 1: I've rode a motorbike here. I might not even make

1443
01:12:11,280 --> 01:12:12,760
Speaker 1: it out of here, all right, I'm going to make

1444
01:12:12,800 --> 01:12:16,320
Speaker 1: it home. I try as much as I can to

1445
01:12:16,400 --> 01:12:19,479
Speaker 1: reflect upon my own death, all right. And I never

1446
01:12:19,520 --> 01:12:21,960
Speaker 1: want to leave a room with people wondering how I

1447
01:12:21,960 --> 01:12:24,320
Speaker 1: felt about But not in a morose way. No, No.

1448
01:12:25,600 --> 01:12:29,040
Speaker 1: Reflecting around death is so important because it helps us

1449
01:12:29,160 --> 01:12:31,920
Speaker 1: from making fear based decisions. It's like if this was

1450
01:12:32,000 --> 01:12:36,000
Speaker 1: a you know it, but there'll be a and you've

1451
01:12:36,040 --> 01:12:38,519
Speaker 1: done it with your big kids, but you don't know

1452
01:12:38,600 --> 01:12:41,360
Speaker 1: what happens. There's a last time you put them down. Yeah,

1453
01:12:41,800 --> 01:12:43,599
Speaker 1: you're never going to hold them again. There's the last

1454
01:12:43,600 --> 01:12:47,559
Speaker 1: time when they're in bed with you. He's asleep, striking

1455
01:12:47,640 --> 01:12:52,560
Speaker 1: my spiky beard like this it's days and he'd be like,

1456
01:12:53,720 --> 01:12:57,160
Speaker 1: you know, you got to cherish every moment like it's

1457
01:12:57,200 --> 01:13:00,560
Speaker 1: the last time you do it. Otherwise, you know, what

1458
01:13:00,680 --> 01:13:04,000
Speaker 1: are we what are we living for? Fucking brilliant. Thanks Josh,

1459
01:13:04,080 --> 01:13:13,080
Speaker 1: it's true man. Thank you m