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Speaker 1: I'll get a Tim Craig, Anthony Harper. What's your middle name? Mate?

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Speaker 1: May see? What's your middle name?

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Speaker 2: Ricardo?

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Speaker 1: Andrew Ricardo? Wow? Mabeh up there up there in the

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Speaker 1: thriving metropolis, meet down here in Melbs. It is the

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Speaker 1: you project at yous us? Hi? Mate? How are you good?

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Speaker 1: We're recording. I'm I'm telling everyone what I did.

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Speaker 2: I've just thrown Harps under his own typ bus. We

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Speaker 2: were in flow about ten minutes into it. I don't

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Speaker 2: know whether it was a mistake or whether I was

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Speaker 2: just wwfully, but harpsquent. Jeez, mate, Sorry, can we start again?

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Speaker 2: I haven't pressed record. You looked mortified. I just laughed.

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Speaker 2: I said, let's go again.

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Speaker 1: Do you know what the dumbest thing that Melissa did

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Speaker 1: was she gave me control over when the recording starts

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Speaker 1: and stops, and like, why would you give me that

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Speaker 1: much power? You know, I'm an idiot, you know.

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Speaker 2: I just press the red button, don't touch anything else.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to ask you the same questions that

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Speaker 1: I asked you the first time round, So I'll I'll

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Speaker 1: just start with this. How's your twenty twenty four been?

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Speaker 1: What did you learn are you. Are you exhausted? Are

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Speaker 1: you excited? Are you were a bit of both?

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Speaker 2: Let's answer that reverse. I am crawling, dragging myself like

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Speaker 2: got white on my fingers, is just pulling myself to

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Speaker 2: the line.

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Speaker 1: Mate.

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Speaker 2: In fact, I caught up with one of the clients

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Speaker 2: I trained this morning of training for a number of years,

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Speaker 2: is it see Over Big Company. I met him at

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Speaker 2: Bondi Beach. You know, you're a personal trainer. You're never

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Speaker 2: not a personal trainer. So even when I do work

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Speaker 2: with my exact clients, I'd still go for a walk,

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Speaker 2: throwing a few push ups, a few genies. And I

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Speaker 2: saw him at the beach. I'll work with him for

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Speaker 2: ten years, and you know, there's his public face and

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Speaker 2: he's a well known person, and then he's he's personally

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Speaker 2: he's a good guy. And I looked at him. I

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Speaker 2: could see he was just tired. So I rocked up

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Speaker 2: to him and I just went nothing. I just grabbed him.

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Speaker 1: I hugged him.

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Speaker 2: I said, this looks like exactly what you need to see.

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Speaker 2: You know I do, but probably not from you, and

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Speaker 2: not while everyone's watching. He hugged me and he just laughed.

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Speaker 2: He said, yeah, I think I did need that. I

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Speaker 2: think that just sums up the center. But we all

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Speaker 2: need a bloody good hug. Because I was reflecting on

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Speaker 2: this after our conversation ten years ago. You'd remember this

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Speaker 2: December early December, the engine would stop, Like for you

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Speaker 2: and I when we put our keynote hats on, you

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Speaker 2: wouldn't do many keynotes in December. I did four last

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Speaker 2: week ups, like who are these people still doing keynotes?

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Speaker 2: A couple of weeks before Christmas? So we're now working

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Speaker 2: right towards the end. And I blame a lot of

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Speaker 2: the COVID because we're much more tech set up at home,

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Speaker 2: so we don't have that natural downtime at the start

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Speaker 2: of the day. And then if you do go to

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Speaker 2: the office, you've already been working on. You take a

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Speaker 2: few hours, and then we're getting back on at night.

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Speaker 2: So I just find there's this residual fatigue. Now everyone

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Speaker 2: is technical term wrecked.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's so interesting. So I don't know if

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Speaker 1: I've ever unpacked this with you, but I love your thoughts, right,

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Speaker 1: So we it's a little bit nine nineties and nineteen

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Speaker 1: eighties now. But work life balance, the idea of work

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Speaker 1: life balance theoretically is like, if you work this much

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Speaker 1: and you don't work this much, there's this much at work,

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Speaker 1: this much not at work, and there's it's almost like

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Speaker 1: there's a formula or an equation.

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Speaker 2: And I hate the term. I vomit when someone goes,

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Speaker 2: we need a work life balance program.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I hate it, and I'm like, yeah, here's the

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Speaker 1: problem though, or works not equal and you could do

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Speaker 1: ten hours of something you fucking hate, and I do

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Speaker 1: fifty hours of something I love, and your job's worse

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Speaker 1: for you than mine. In fact, my job's good for me.

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Speaker 1: It actually energizes me, stimulates me, grows me, develops me.

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Speaker 1: And I'm doing fifty or sixty hours, and through your

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Speaker 1: lens you might go, oh my god, that is way

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Speaker 1: too much. But ten hours, Well, imagine having a job

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Speaker 1: that's only ten hours. It's like, yeah, well it depends.

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Speaker 2: I'd rather do seventy hours where I'm engaged and feel

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Speaker 2: like I'm growing and stretching and get tired. There's times

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Speaker 2: in all of our lives where you push it. The

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Speaker 2: original research I saw on that was back I had hair.

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Speaker 2: Harps were in the nineties, Like you know when they

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Speaker 2: show Homer Simpson with hair and everyone just last year

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Speaker 2: got those two little strands. But the research is on

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Speaker 2: work life balance, and they were researchers, and I underscore that,

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Speaker 2: but they weren't pracademics like you are practical. They were

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Speaker 2: researchers in the lab. So they said, hey, we've got

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Speaker 2: the data. You should sleep eight hours. How many of

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Speaker 2: your audience sleeps eight hours a night? You should work

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Speaker 2: eight hours and then recreate eight hours. It's absolutely setting you.

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Speaker 2: There's times during coming into holidays made I'm not going

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Speaker 2: to work much at all. I'm pulling the roller door

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Speaker 2: down for three three weeks. But there's times and you're

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Speaker 2: the same. We bang out sixty seven hour weeks and

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Speaker 2: we love what we do and you just get on

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Speaker 2: with it. Hey, but how do you do? How are you?

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Speaker 1: You?

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Speaker 2: You asking everyone else how are you are you?

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Speaker 1: I'm good, I'm like all the stuff that people would

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Speaker 1: typically ask about work and UNI and study and all good.

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Speaker 1: I've just got a very close friend who's really crooked

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Speaker 1: at the moment. So that's taking a bit of my

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Speaker 1: internal kind of energy, of my emotional and psychological attention,

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Speaker 1: I guess. So I'm I'm trying to be really supportive there,

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Speaker 1: but other than that, I'm good. I'm I feel surprisingly

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Speaker 1: calm and not exhausted. It might hit me, but I

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Speaker 1: tend to I don't really kind of have a big

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Speaker 1: end of year assessment new year's strategy. Not that that's bad,

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Speaker 1: I guess I get a little bit more reflective. But

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Speaker 1: you and I are going to talk about, you know,

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Speaker 1: almost having a bit of a look at the year

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Speaker 1: in review and maybe setting us up ourselves up for

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Speaker 1: another year. And this is the time of the year

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Speaker 1: for a lot of people where there is introspection and

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Speaker 1: reflection and some kind of I guess almost assessment where

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Speaker 1: we try to. I think sometimes when we get away

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Speaker 1: from work, whether that's literally or metaphorically or geographically away,

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Speaker 1: I think we can get a level of perspective that

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Speaker 1: we can't always achieve when we're in the middle of

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Speaker 1: whatever it is. We're typically in the middle.

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Speaker 2: Of absolutely and a nice segue to get us back

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Speaker 2: on track. We're like Daryl and Dale and the Castle.

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Speaker 2: How's Buck Dad? Yeah, he's okay. Sometimes we talk for hours. Yes,

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Speaker 2: the power of self reflection. I've done this the last five.

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Speaker 1: Or six years.

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Speaker 2: Personally, I do it with all my clients. And we

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Speaker 2: were chatting about getting on and doing something before the

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Speaker 2: end of the year. I thought this would be a

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Speaker 2: really good one to do. It's a bit like driving

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Speaker 2: a car, is the analogy. Eighty five ninety percent of

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Speaker 2: your vision is looking out the front window and to

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Speaker 2: the side, and they go about five to ten percent

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Speaker 2: in the review and maybe five and the side mirrors.

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Speaker 2: So the point of the analogy is, let's look back

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Speaker 2: in the review mirror on the year that's been and yeah,

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Speaker 2: most of you are feeling tired, like my client this morning,

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Speaker 2: need a bit of a hug. But there's some good

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Speaker 2: research on this. So when you look at goal achievement,

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Speaker 2: the process of setting achieving goals, but most of it

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Speaker 2: looks moving forward. In the last few years, there's been

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Speaker 2: more around this accomplishment focus about reviewing and reflecting your goals.

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Speaker 2: And when I doug into this a little bit a

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Speaker 2: few years ago, I went, hey, this is not new.

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Speaker 2: There was a dude back in nineteen thirty three called

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Speaker 2: John Dewey who wrote about how you should reflect and

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Speaker 2: it bridges the gap between experience and self awareness. And

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Speaker 2: now we have people doing PhDs around all this stuff,

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Speaker 2: and you go, my god, this is ninety years ago.

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Speaker 2: Dewey also observed how serious and careful consideration leads to

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Speaker 2: personal growth. So I think to honor the great man

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Speaker 2: John Dewey. I done knowing, but he sounds like a

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Speaker 2: great man. And to look at that goal accomplishment theory.

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Speaker 2: I've been at risk of this over the years, harps,

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Speaker 2: where I've had a year and going right, bang, let's

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Speaker 2: bag it, let's go and have a break, and I'm

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Speaker 2: going to come out next year fresh and go again.

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Speaker 2: What I've found personally and what I've found with my

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Speaker 2: clients is that process of looking in the review mirror.

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Speaker 2: It does a couple of things. Well, it just gives

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Speaker 2: you some time to catch up and make meaning of

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Speaker 2: the year you've had. Two You then can process yeah, wow,

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Speaker 2: there's a bunch of areas in my life, and we'll

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Speaker 2: take people through a framework where I've absolutely overachieved. I

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Speaker 2: just haven't slowed down and caught up. But there's also

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Speaker 2: a bunch of areas I'm either not happy with or

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Speaker 2: there's a little bit more I can do, which can

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Speaker 2: then help you set up for the following year. So

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Speaker 2: I've found this activity really beneficial.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, before we do that, I want to ask you like.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if we've had this chatter before, but

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Speaker 1: one of the things I often ask audiences is about,

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Speaker 1: you know, whether or not they think they're open minded

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Speaker 1: and in general terms objective, And everyone goes, yeah, fuck yeah,

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Speaker 1: super open minded. I'm super objective. I'm not closed minded.

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Speaker 1: Who said that? Who told you? Yeah, that's right? And

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Speaker 1: you know, then I explained, I said, well, look that

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Speaker 1: you know. Your version of the world is a subjective

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Speaker 1: version that's not good or bad or broken. That's human.

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Speaker 1: I'm the same. Am I open minded? Not really? Am

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Speaker 1: I totally objective? Nowhere near it? Would I like to be?

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Speaker 1: Do I like the idea? Yes I do? But the

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Speaker 1: reality is I've got pre existing ideas and beliefs and

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Speaker 1: biases and bullshit and issues and programming, And in the

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Speaker 1: middle of all of that, I create my own reality,

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Speaker 1: which I'm well aware as just mine. But when we

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Speaker 1: are reflecting and looking at our year, world's longest fucking

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Speaker 1: set up question, by the way, hurry up ups. But

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Speaker 1: when we are see that self awareness, when we are

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Speaker 1: looking back, how do we find kind of a level

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Speaker 1: of objectivity or perspective which is.

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Speaker 2: Empowering rather than you know can convenient if I go

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Speaker 2: a layer deep from that is part of that question

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Speaker 2: as well. How do you do this and be really

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Speaker 2: honest and authentic and not bullshit yourself so you're doing

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Speaker 2: a happy shait. How I have done that. I've done

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Speaker 2: this with my team. I've said to everyone earlier this week,

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Speaker 2: let's do this and let's share it, and we shared

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Speaker 2: it in our staff meeting as well, so that was

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Speaker 2: a way of everyone to be open and honance. So

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Speaker 2: if you've got a coach, you could do that with them.

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Speaker 2: Pretty hard to do with your partner sometimes because they'll

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Speaker 2: have a view, a pretty firm view as you're leading

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Speaker 2: into Christmas. If your window of tolerance the psychologists will

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Speaker 2: talk about in relationships, you need a big window of tolerance.

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Speaker 2: If the window is closed and it's brought it up,

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Speaker 2: I maybe wouldn't do this with your partner until you've

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Speaker 2: had a bit of time. I think the main thing

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Speaker 2: would be to share it with somebody else on that

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Speaker 2: Sometimes are the people you know best. They know you

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Speaker 2: too well, so it's that level of connectivity. So that's

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Speaker 2: how I'd answer that is if you find that sometimes

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Speaker 2: you bullshit yourself and say the stuff you want to

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Speaker 2: because you I don't know if you think you're being

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Speaker 2: marked on this. I'd share it with someone and say, hey,

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Speaker 2: here's what I reckon. What do you think Am I

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Speaker 2: aligned with how you see the way I show up?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? And I think you need to be extraordinarily fucking

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Speaker 1: courageous and authentic to do that properly, because people who

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Speaker 1: say they want feedback generally they don't want feedback. They

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Speaker 1: just want praise, they want endorsement. It's like, oh, do

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Speaker 1: you really want to know how you come? Do you

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Speaker 1: really want to know what I think? Do you really

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Speaker 1: you know? And it's like, oh, that's some of the

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Speaker 1: shit that I've got a few people that have given

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Speaker 1: me like real feedback over the years, and in the

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Speaker 1: moment I didn't fucking love it at all, but part

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Speaker 1: of me knew they were right. How do we find

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Speaker 1: that person for a start? Because I feel like a

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Speaker 1: lot of people will tell you what they think you

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Speaker 1: want to hear, which isn't particularly valuable to you unless

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Speaker 1: it's absolutely true. If it is absolutely true, that's good.

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Speaker 1: But you know, sometimes it's like, sometimes the things I

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Speaker 1: need to do and not the things I want to do.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes the things I need to hear. Are not the

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Speaker 1: things that I'm comfortable with. Any tips for us on

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Speaker 1: the giving or getting side of that equation.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I reckon. It all comes back to trust. You've

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Speaker 2: got to have a bed rock of trust. That's someone

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Speaker 2: you know, someone you've got a connection with, and then

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Speaker 2: trust builds that psychological safety. So if you have that

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Speaker 2: and this is not hey harps on and off site

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Speaker 2: you think Terry's a bit of an asshole. So we're

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Speaker 2: going to get you guys to go and build an

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Speaker 2: egg cup catcher. Hey, now, your mates, that's not too bad.

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Speaker 2: That's a fucking horrib like you've been there, I've seen it. Well,

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Speaker 2: let's do another one another day. The worst team building

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Speaker 2: activities ever, I reckoned. You could put that out to

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Speaker 2: your audience and get some good ideas. So it's not that,

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Speaker 2: but it's actually, hey, let's have a robust conversation and

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Speaker 2: if you've got that bank of trust and Brene Brown

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Speaker 2: so beautifully, trust is like a marble jar. It can

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Speaker 2: take a long time to fill up the jar. One

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Speaker 2: swoop can knock it over. So the person you would

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Speaker 2: be looking for is someone that you know, someone that

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Speaker 2: you've built up that marble jar of trust for a

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Speaker 2: period of time. But you pointed on something really interesting.

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Speaker 2: Every person I work with, every coaching client at the

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Speaker 2: start'll we do a whole medical bloods all that stuff.

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Speaker 2: When we go deep with them and go, look, how

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Speaker 2: do you like feedback? And they look at me be

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Speaker 2: a little bit o, what do you mean? I said, well,

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Speaker 2: do you like feedback? Because I've spent twenty five years

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Speaker 2: in the world of e late sport and feedback is immediate, honest, open.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes people don't like, Ah, no, mate, I love feedback.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 2: I work in the executive team. And then you flex

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Speaker 2: it and then you give them feedback and you look

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Speaker 2: like you've slapped them and go, look are you okay?

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Speaker 2: No one's ever spoken to me like that in my life.

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Speaker 2: Said you told me you like really open, honest feedback.

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Speaker 2: Said yeah, I've had nothing like that. And then underneath you, Paul, Oh,

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Speaker 2: that's because you're the top of an organization chart and

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Speaker 2: your feedback is mostly what you want to hear. So

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Speaker 2: getting the right feedback from someone you trust, but then

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Speaker 2: also being open to it one thing to say hey,

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Speaker 2: I want feedback, but then are you going to do

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Speaker 2: anything about it?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, that's that's the thing. It's like, it's having

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Speaker 1: a real insight into and not in a self loathing way.

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Speaker 1: I think this is important. I think some people think

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Speaker 1: that when you go introspective and self reflective that it's

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Speaker 1: like finding your faults. No, for me, it's not about that.

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Speaker 1: It's really just about me understanding me and me, you know,

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Speaker 1: and to you know, to the topic of my PhD,

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Speaker 1: which is trying to understand how others understand you or

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Speaker 1: perceive you or experience you. You know, when I explain this,

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Speaker 1: when I go you know, in corporate land and other

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Speaker 1: spaces where I talk about you know, meta perception and

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Speaker 1: theory of mind and meta accuracy and all of these

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Speaker 1: things about understanding how others think broadly and then specifically

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Speaker 1: how others see me or experience me. And you know,

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Speaker 1: so many times I've been told so much shit about

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Speaker 1: me that is really quite somewhere between a bit uncomfortable

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Speaker 1: and fucking brutal. But at the end of the day,

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Speaker 1: I think, well, I think, look, if that's true or not,

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Speaker 1: I still need to know it because if ten twenty

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Speaker 1: people think I'm a fucking idiot because of this, but

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Speaker 1: I'm not a fucking idiot, but enough people think it,

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Speaker 1: then one, maybe I'm a fucking idiot. And two, at

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Speaker 1: the very least, I need to understand that I'm doing

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Speaker 1: or saying something which comes across as I'm an idiot.

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Speaker 1: So and it's not about being a people pleaser. But

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Speaker 1: if you move through the world with zero awareness of

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Speaker 1: how other people experience you, or experience this moment in time,

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Speaker 1: or experience this conversation or this situation, and part of

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Speaker 1: your job is dependent on interpersonal connection, well you're fucked.

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Speaker 2: Give you a quick story and to give you an

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Speaker 2: example on how this can work. I used to work

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Speaker 2: at a consulting firm and one of the big leaders

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Speaker 2: they are said to be made Can you come and

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Speaker 2: watch me speak? I said, yeah, where are you on?

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Speaker 2: He told me he was at this conference and he

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Speaker 2: was representing the firm for a client industry forum. And

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Speaker 2: I watched him speak and then in Craig Harper language,

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Speaker 2: he was fucking train wreck. It was horrible, like it

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Speaker 2: was all slide, slide, slide, and then let me tell

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Speaker 2: you this, and here's there was no vulnerability, no storytelling,

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Speaker 2: no connection. And I said to him, okay, so you

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Speaker 2: want some feedback and to understand the hierarchy and a

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Speaker 2: consulting firm. If I've been here for a long time,

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Speaker 2: fifteen twenty years, even though I was a partner, I

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Speaker 2: was called a junior burger. Because I'm a lateral higher.

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Speaker 2: It's almost an alien. So I asked him for permission.

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Speaker 2: I said, look, you've asked me for feedback. I've taken

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Speaker 2: some notes. Now can I give you feedback as someone

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Speaker 2: who's got fifteen or twenty years to main expertise as

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Speaker 2: a speaker, not as someone who's just joined the firm. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

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Speaker 2: And I hear him and he'd given me permission, and

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Speaker 2: we get on well. And he looked at me after

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Speaker 2: and he said, I've never been given feedback like that

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Speaker 2: in my life. Said I've got two questions for her.

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Speaker 2: Number one is how are you feeling? And he said

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Speaker 2: it's horrible. He said, I feel vulnerable, I feel exposed,

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Speaker 2: and it's horrible. I said, what is your learning? He said,

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Speaker 2: my learning is God. I wish i'd done this years ago.

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Speaker 2: He said, I've been speaking like that for twenty years.

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Speaker 2: I said, you're killing me. He said, not twenty years.

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Speaker 2: I said, can you imagine how many people have walked

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Speaker 2: away because I said to him, you come across as

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Speaker 2: a bit of a dick because all your stories start

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Speaker 2: with I. There was no interconnectivity, no turn and talk.

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Speaker 2: How about we just have a drop in intensity, turn

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Speaker 2: talk to the next you, person next to you? How

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Speaker 2: do you show up? So there's no connectivity, I said,

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Speaker 2: you've only had people in your chorus telling you are

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Speaker 2: you doing a great job because of the organization chart.

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Speaker 2: That was a really good example in life. And I

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Speaker 2: see this guy he I saw him when I was

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Speaker 2: overseas recently. He said, you remember that time made? How

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Speaker 2: could I forget? I said, it looked like you looked

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Speaker 2: like I've never seen you look before. He said, yeah,

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Speaker 2: because I've never felt like that, probably since school. And

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Speaker 2: I didn't get picked because he said, yeah, I wasn't

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Speaker 2: great at sport because I'm a bit of an intellect.

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Speaker 2: And that was just a beautiful example when you ask

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Speaker 2: for feedback and you've got that connectivity it. I did

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Speaker 2: it from a place of care and compassion, and I

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Speaker 2: just said to me, if I don't give you this

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Speaker 2: feedback and you don't do anything on it, you're going

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Speaker 2: to have a lot of people walk away. In that go,

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Speaker 2: you're a bit of a dick, but I know you.

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Speaker 2: You're actually a good guy. Anyway, fast Track have been

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Speaker 2: now six years later, presenting in a totally different way.

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Speaker 2: He's engaging, he's asking questions, he's actually thinking about the

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Speaker 2: audience and how his message is going to land, rather

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Speaker 2: than just giving a slide deck verbal triage and just

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Speaker 2: spraying everyone with a bunch of slides.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a beautiful story, man, because it's like you

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Speaker 1: pulled back the curtain and you showed him something that

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Speaker 1: only you could show him, or only somebody who had

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Speaker 1: your awareness and understanding and integrity could show him. But

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Speaker 1: that's whether he knew it or not, that was the truth,

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Speaker 1: and you pulled back the curtain and showed him the truth.

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Speaker 1: And that good on him, though, I mean good on

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Speaker 1: him for taking that on board and then doing something

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Speaker 1: with that. And I think when you like, if you

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Speaker 1: do it the right way, even if it's really direct.

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Speaker 1: I tell people regularly, I don't care about your feelings

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Speaker 1: for the next five minutes. I don't I care about

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Speaker 1: your health for the next five decades. That's what I

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Speaker 1: care about. If you get a bit upset called I

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Speaker 1: don't care. It doesn't mean I don't care about you,

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Speaker 1: but I don't give a fuck about your emotional state

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Speaker 1: for the next two or three minutes. It's not my

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Speaker 1: job in life to make you feel okay, that's not

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Speaker 1: my purpose. That's your job, right, or maybe I don't

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Speaker 1: know anyone not mine. My job is to help you

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Speaker 1: step in, to see what is, to see reality, to

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Speaker 1: fucking get your hands dirty, to you know, look behind

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Speaker 1: the curtain that I'm pulling back for you. Because this

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Speaker 1: might not be what you want to hear, but from

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Speaker 1: where I stand, and I'm a lot more objective about

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Speaker 1: you than you. You know this is this is true.

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Speaker 1: You're not accidentally eating all that shit you're choosing. It is.

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Speaker 1: You're not You don't look or function the way you

400
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Speaker 1: do because of some fucking factor that's out of your control. Right,

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Speaker 1: This is you. And I'm not saying you're a bad human.

402
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Speaker 1: I'm not saying you're terrible or flawed or broken. I'm

403
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Speaker 1: saying that you are doing shit which is essentially high

404
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Speaker 1: level self sabotage. Now I can tell you poor you,

405
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Speaker 1: and I can give you a metaphoric or literal BackRub,

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Speaker 1: and I can fucking join in the pity party or

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Speaker 1: I can go No, that's bullshit. And if you don't

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Speaker 1: open your eyes, you're going to be in the same

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Speaker 1: place or worse in one, two, five years. And if

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Speaker 1: you surround yourself with a fucking fan club and people pleases,

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Speaker 1: which is what you're currently doing, it's gonna it's going

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Speaker 1: to end bad.

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Speaker 2: Well, you're just going to have more people at your funeral,

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Speaker 2: and your funeral is going to come a lot earlier

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Speaker 2: the premise with what you were talking about with your clients,

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Speaker 2: and I know you do this. You're similar to me,

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Speaker 2: Like people might go he's been a bit of a preck,

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Speaker 2: but we're a friendly preck.

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Speaker 1: Right.

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Speaker 2: It's done with heart and it's done with compassion when

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Speaker 2: you have permission. So even though this guy had said, hey,

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Speaker 2: come and watch me, I watch him. I made the

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Speaker 2: notes and then I said, all right, do you want

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Speaker 2: me to like, can we just strip the hierarchy and

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Speaker 2: can I just really give it to you the permission?

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Speaker 2: So he'd asked me to go there, and then I

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Speaker 2: framed it again so he'd put in the place that

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Speaker 2: I could be open with him and talk. I think

429
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,680
Speaker 2: that's really important that we all have people around us

430
00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:48,840
Speaker 2: like that harps, because otherwise you can start to believe

431
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:51,200
Speaker 2: the bullshit right, and you're in a bubble. I reckon,

432
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:53,240
Speaker 2: that'd be horrible to be going along for years and

433
00:21:53,359 --> 00:21:56,760
Speaker 2: never get feedback, and combine that with no self reflection,

434
00:21:58,040 --> 00:21:59,760
Speaker 2: you're just going to be bouncing around pissing. So many

435
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:01,600
Speaker 2: people laugh one hundred percent.

436
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:03,920
Speaker 1: I don't know if I've told you this, I might

437
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:07,359
Speaker 1: have bet my audience, but bear with the audience. It's

438
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:10,960
Speaker 1: nearly two thousand episodes, so there's a bit of repetition unavoidable.

439
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:13,320
Speaker 1: But one of my stories is I used to one

440
00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:16,600
Speaker 1: hundred years ago do vic Fit Big Pit lecturing. So

441
00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:20,919
Speaker 1: the fitness industry courses SIRT three and four Boys and Girls,

442
00:22:21,119 --> 00:22:24,520
Speaker 1: and one of the you know, we always had feedback sheets.

443
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:29,359
Speaker 1: The feedback was mostly positive. I say, mostly, I'm smiling.

444
00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:30,159
Speaker 2: I've heard this story.

445
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:34,480
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, But the common you know, like not like

446
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:40,320
Speaker 1: seventy percent, but maybe fifteen percent, was you're scary, you're intimidating.

447
00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:44,600
Speaker 1: And so I walk into the class with those feedback

448
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:47,240
Speaker 1: sheets and go, who fucking wrote this? No, I didn't.

449
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,919
Speaker 1: I wanted to just for a joke, for context.

450
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,000
Speaker 2: You're a bodybuilder when I first met you, you're still

451
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:55,520
Speaker 2: a big, strong lab Now you are Jack's I'm going

452
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:56,520
Speaker 2: to imagine you what the front?

453
00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:57,119
Speaker 1: All right?

454
00:22:57,440 --> 00:22:58,720
Speaker 2: Who fucking wrote this?

455
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:03,520
Speaker 1: Stand up? Now I've got your fucking feedback sheets right

456
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:06,800
Speaker 1: in front of me. All right, these people wait for

457
00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:13,119
Speaker 1: me after class. There's none of that. But it's like

458
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:15,360
Speaker 1: when I first got it and I'm like, oh, okay, they're

459
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:17,520
Speaker 1: a bit precious. And then I'm like, oh, he's another one.

460
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:20,360
Speaker 1: Oh he's another one. Oh here's another one. And then

461
00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:24,240
Speaker 1: I ended up talking to Tara who was working with

462
00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:27,439
Speaker 1: me in that space, and she's like, well, yeah, of course,

463
00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:29,960
Speaker 1: And I'm like, what do you mean? What do you mean?

464
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:34,360
Speaker 1: She's like, well, you know, you're intimidating. I'm like, I'm

465
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:37,920
Speaker 1: not intimidating, and she's like, you're you're intimidating. She goes,

466
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:40,640
Speaker 1: you're a sweetheart, but you're scary to people who don't.

467
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:43,080
Speaker 1: I'm like, how am I scary? And then she unpacked

468
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:46,800
Speaker 1: thirty seven waits, I'm scary. I'm like all right. So

469
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:50,720
Speaker 1: that just helped me, you know, because that was never

470
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:51,840
Speaker 1: my intention.

471
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:54,679
Speaker 2: Like how do you taper that? How did you change that?

472
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:57,919
Speaker 2: So after that feedback did you do anything at the

473
00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:00,440
Speaker 2: start and then I'll tell you funny sorry about a

474
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:03,520
Speaker 2: lady who's really changed perception at the start of a presentation.

475
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:08,679
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I asked a lot more questions and

476
00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:14,320
Speaker 1: I was just I realized that I was, you know,

477
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:17,399
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm talking to students who don't know, you know,

478
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:20,919
Speaker 1: a bicep from a carbohydrate, right, or reflection from extension

479
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:25,800
Speaker 1: or whatever. Right. So I'm I probably I may have

480
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:28,720
Speaker 1: spoken a little over their head. I don't think I did,

481
00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:32,600
Speaker 1: But yeah, I just I kind of in a nice way,

482
00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:37,200
Speaker 1: dumbed it down, softened it, made it more interactive, tried

483
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:41,639
Speaker 1: to consciously be a little bit more doory teller, a

484
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:44,800
Speaker 1: little bit more fun, a little bit less you know

485
00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:46,080
Speaker 1: my way or the highway?

486
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:52,280
Speaker 2: Do you know a lady named nine James no means

487
00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:55,639
Speaker 2: in America Now she started on the keynote circuit in Australia.

488
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:59,960
Speaker 2: Gotta be fifteen. I think I'll sit the ausy quick.

489
00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:04,640
Speaker 2: That's more than they to be nearly twenty years ago

490
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:09,720
Speaker 2: and I saw it mean and double E N James

491
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:13,240
Speaker 2: j A M. E. S. So NaN's this little pocket rocket.

492
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:16,080
Speaker 2: We're at this HR conference in Brisbane. She was the

493
00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:18,679
Speaker 2: opening keynote, and I was second, so I got in,

494
00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 2: thought I'll watch Nane. I've heard purchase a good speaker.

495
00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 2: She gets on stage, she goes, Hello, I'm Nane James,

496
00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:27,040
Speaker 2: and I've got a squeaky voice and big tits, So

497
00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:31,520
Speaker 2: get over it. There's there's eight hundred and nine hundred

498
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:36,960
Speaker 2: people in Brisbane hysterical. Her opening line was, Hello, my

499
00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:39,720
Speaker 2: name is nine James. I've got big tits and a

500
00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:42,199
Speaker 2: squeaky voice. Now get on with that now, mate. She

501
00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:45,879
Speaker 2: did have a very squeaky voice.

502
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:50,119
Speaker 1: Yeah, I knew what. I knew that was coming.

503
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:54,199
Speaker 2: I could see your little giggle. But she had she

504
00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:57,480
Speaker 2: she had, she had, she had both. She was spot on.

505
00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:00,960
Speaker 2: But what it did, because I'm sitting at the back

506
00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:05,560
Speaker 2: before she did this, I'm going, my god, she's she

507
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:07,399
Speaker 2: got big boobs, very big boobs. And she started to

508
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,800
Speaker 2: speak helo me and I'd heard she had a squeaky voice.

509
00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:13,600
Speaker 2: But when she did that, I then just totally giggled

510
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:16,000
Speaker 2: and then forgot about it, and not once during the

511
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,840
Speaker 2: rest of that presentation did I think she had a

512
00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:26,600
Speaker 2: big voice or squeaky Yeah. So she totally disarmed people

513
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:29,000
Speaker 2: at the start. So I learned a lot from that,

514
00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 2: so I think given feedback.

515
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:35,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you can do something in the first thirty

516
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:40,000
Speaker 1: sixty ninety seconds that gets people engaged or amused or laughing,

517
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:42,439
Speaker 1: it's like a super power.

518
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:45,520
Speaker 2: It was an icebreaker. It was a hey, don't just

519
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:49,160
Speaker 2: sit there and start thinking about physical characteristics on my voice.

520
00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:52,040
Speaker 2: It was beautiful, absolutely beautiful the way she did it,

521
00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:54,679
Speaker 2: and it came from she'd obviously had feedback that some

522
00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:57,640
Speaker 2: people were just thinking about that, so she totally cut

523
00:26:57,640 --> 00:26:59,240
Speaker 2: it out by running at it at the start.

524
00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:00,840
Speaker 1: So she was were enough.

525
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:03,000
Speaker 2: And she'd had feedback from people and could process that

526
00:27:03,359 --> 00:27:05,200
Speaker 2: and realize that was going to make a difference by

527
00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:06,320
Speaker 2: bringing that up at the start.

528
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:10,720
Speaker 1: That's so funny that she would get the voice. I get,

529
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:14,359
Speaker 1: But who's giving you feedback about your breasts now? Before?

530
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:17,080
Speaker 1: On the sheet?

531
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:20,120
Speaker 2: Let's put context. This is twenty or so years ago,

532
00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:23,639
Speaker 2: so I think you could say that without people going, oh,

533
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:25,640
Speaker 2: you can't say that. So the world is a little

534
00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:29,400
Speaker 2: bit more politically correct now. But she did beautiful introduction

535
00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:32,680
Speaker 2: and then just took away from any distraction from her presentation.

536
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:33,920
Speaker 2: And she's a wonderful presenter.

537
00:27:35,119 --> 00:27:37,040
Speaker 1: Now I'd be doing you and me and this service,

538
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:39,480
Speaker 1: if I didn't talk about the fact that for our

539
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:42,600
Speaker 1: listeners that were coming towards the end of the year,

540
00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:46,399
Speaker 1: I think we spoke about that in our first unrecorded

541
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:51,560
Speaker 1: attempt of this show, and so I guess I want

542
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:54,440
Speaker 1: to just hear your thoughts and ideas and perhaps strategies

543
00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:59,920
Speaker 1: for our listeners who are thinking about, you know, reflecting

544
00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:03,040
Speaker 1: on the year that was planning potentially for the year

545
00:28:03,119 --> 00:28:07,000
Speaker 1: to come. And you know, we know different things work

546
00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:09,960
Speaker 1: for different people. There's no five step fucking plan that's

547
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:13,800
Speaker 1: universally brilliant. But what do you want to tell our

548
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 1: listeners that are, you know, thinking about the next kind

549
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:20,720
Speaker 1: of twelve months on planet them?

550
00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:23,159
Speaker 2: Let's start with Charles Dickens. So I want to try

551
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:24,960
Speaker 2: and sound a lot smarter than I am, harp. So

552
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:28,280
Speaker 2: I've got a Charles Dickens, quite reflect upon your blessings,

553
00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:30,560
Speaker 2: of which every man and woman has plenty, not on

554
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:36,760
Speaker 2: your last misfortunes, of which we all have some. For years,

555
00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:38,520
Speaker 2: I'd get to this time of the year and go right,

556
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:40,760
Speaker 2: I'm going to have a holiday freshen up, and my

557
00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:43,040
Speaker 2: goals are this year I'm gonna and for a lot

558
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:45,680
Speaker 2: of people. It's the same thing year after year. Get fit,

559
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 2: lose weight, stops making learn French, spend all the time

560
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:50,480
Speaker 2: with the kids. And we know fifty percent of goals

561
00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:53,440
Speaker 2: after two weeks are thrown out. By the end of

562
00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:55,680
Speaker 2: January it's eighty to eighty five percent I've thrown out

563
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:57,680
Speaker 2: a couple of years ago. I started doing this with

564
00:28:57,720 --> 00:28:59,920
Speaker 2: a few clients and they thought, jeez, this is really good.

565
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:02,080
Speaker 2: Let's look in the rearview mirror and how have you

566
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:04,320
Speaker 2: gone this year? So, no matter how tired you are,

567
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:06,600
Speaker 2: just to spend a bit of time. I'll send you

568
00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:08,320
Speaker 2: the worksheet. You can put that on your show notes

569
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:09,840
Speaker 2: so people can download it. So I've just got a

570
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:14,920
Speaker 2: little sheety review mirror. The review mirror like, and there's

571
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:17,600
Speaker 2: eight areas, So why don't we pick one or two

572
00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:19,080
Speaker 2: of these? You and I can do it together as well.

573
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:21,920
Speaker 2: So the eight areas are you reflect on have you

574
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:26,400
Speaker 2: gone on your work slash career? Have you gone around

575
00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:29,960
Speaker 2: learning and development? So what have you learned and grown?

576
00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 2: And it's not just work related. How are you going

577
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:35,280
Speaker 2: with your finances? And I find those first two really

578
00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:38,440
Speaker 2: lead to better finances if you're focusing on it. How

579
00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:41,360
Speaker 2: are you going with community? And spirituality? And spirituality I

580
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:45,280
Speaker 2: don't mean just religion, but spirituality that you're connected to

581
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:50,360
Speaker 2: a purpose or other things greater than you. Health and fitness,

582
00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:54,920
Speaker 2: family and relationships. And I've added too, So they're the

583
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:55,840
Speaker 2: six that you see a.

584
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:56,200
Speaker 1: Lot of these.

585
00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:58,960
Speaker 2: You know you'd look at the goal will so work slash, career,

586
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:03,440
Speaker 2: L and D, financewers, community, health and fitness, and relationships.

587
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:07,640
Speaker 2: I've added passion and play. All of us have a

588
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:10,360
Speaker 2: little kid inside, and so often you get the end

589
00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:11,960
Speaker 2: of the year and if it's been all work, no

590
00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:17,479
Speaker 2: play makes people very dull. And I've added recovery because

591
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:19,160
Speaker 2: I just can't help it in the work that I

592
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:21,840
Speaker 2: do very similar to you. Stress is awesome, but you've

593
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:24,120
Speaker 2: got to build in a recovery strategy. So they're the eight.

594
00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:26,400
Speaker 2: And what I get everyone to do is just to

595
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:30,320
Speaker 2: give yourself a subjective ranking on it. And then if

596
00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:32,880
Speaker 2: you've got that friend that we're talking about, that trust

597
00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:35,480
Speaker 2: and psychological safety, I reckon get them to do it

598
00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:38,600
Speaker 2: independently and then match the sheets together. So just go

599
00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:41,200
Speaker 2: zero to ten on each of those eight areas.

600
00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:43,160
Speaker 1: Where are you at?

601
00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:48,080
Speaker 2: So let's pick one harps. You can do one and

602
00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:50,520
Speaker 2: then maybe you can flip it on me. And then

603
00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:54,080
Speaker 2: rather than just giving yourself a number, okay, do that,

604
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:57,280
Speaker 2: but then put four or five bullet points underneath each one.

605
00:30:57,920 --> 00:31:01,160
Speaker 2: And again the focus on this for everyone looking back

606
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:03,920
Speaker 2: in the rearview mirror. What has worked? Don't don't do

607
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:05,720
Speaker 2: the hay, I need to work on this. It's hey,

608
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:08,600
Speaker 2: what are you really proud of? Or what have you achieved?

609
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:14,280
Speaker 1: All right, so I'm going to go. I'm going to

610
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:18,160
Speaker 1: pick I could you pick one for me? You pick

611
00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:21,800
Speaker 1: one for me? Because I feel like because whatever, I

612
00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:27,000
Speaker 1: could pick any of those and I've still got work

613
00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:27,200
Speaker 1: to do.

614
00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:30,280
Speaker 2: I'm going to pick a random one because it's easy

615
00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:32,040
Speaker 2: to go work and L and D. I know a

616
00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:34,600
Speaker 2: lot about that. What what do you do for hobbies?

617
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:35,400
Speaker 2: Passions and play?

618
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:40,640
Speaker 1: So let's go okay, okay, yeah, great, So you want

619
00:31:40,680 --> 00:31:42,000
Speaker 1: me to start or no? Yeah?

620
00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:44,160
Speaker 2: So give yourself a score first of all out of ten.

621
00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:46,200
Speaker 1: So I'm going to give myself an eight, which is

622
00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:50,640
Speaker 1: very braggy, make brag start, but can I can I

623
00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:52,640
Speaker 1: give you my all? Right? So I'm going to give

624
00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:57,360
Speaker 1: you I reckon. This is the trickiest one. Community and spirituality.

625
00:31:57,480 --> 00:32:00,960
Speaker 1: That's what I'm giving you done right right, So for me,

626
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:03,480
Speaker 1: I'm going to start right so passion and play. I

627
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:06,360
Speaker 1: talk about this a lot. I talk about strategic fun,

628
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:09,880
Speaker 1: which sounds un fun, but you know, one of the

629
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:12,600
Speaker 1: things I ask people when I'm coaching, which especially when

630
00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:14,640
Speaker 1: you're coaching a fifty year old bloke, can you go, so,

631
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:16,480
Speaker 1: do you like having fun? And they look at you

632
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:19,800
Speaker 1: like You've just asked them the stupidest thing of all time,

633
00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:24,280
Speaker 1: and they go, what do you mean? I go, fucking

634
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,120
Speaker 1: do you like fun? Do you like laughing at silly?

635
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:30,120
Speaker 1: Do you like fun? And laughed? Yeah, I'm like cool,

636
00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:32,880
Speaker 1: So what's your fun plan or strategy? They're like what?

637
00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:36,280
Speaker 1: I'm like, what's your So you've got a business plan,

638
00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:38,320
Speaker 1: you've got a health plan, you've got a fucking career plan.

639
00:32:38,360 --> 00:32:41,600
Speaker 1: You go tell me about fun and it's like, there's

640
00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:44,800
Speaker 1: no real So I like and not that it needs

641
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:49,280
Speaker 1: to be, you know, fucking operationalized on a daily basis

642
00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:52,240
Speaker 1: with it. I'm laughing at ten, and I'm laughing at twelve,

643
00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:55,880
Speaker 1: and I'm laughing at two. But just so that we're

644
00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:58,840
Speaker 1: perhaps integrating stuff into our day to day, which is

645
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:03,640
Speaker 1: there's no point to it other than fucking fun. We're

646
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:06,760
Speaker 1: not creating any measurable outcome. It's not about a KPI

647
00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:11,000
Speaker 1: or you know. Maybe the KPIs laughter, Maybe the KPI

648
00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:14,000
Speaker 1: is dopamine. Maybe the KPI is fucking getting a cuddle

649
00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:16,720
Speaker 1: or playing with your dog, or you know. So every

650
00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:19,479
Speaker 1: day I train with one of my best mates, and

651
00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:21,720
Speaker 1: that's not some days. That's three hundred and sixty five

652
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:23,600
Speaker 1: days of the year, unless one of us is away

653
00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:27,520
Speaker 1: seven days a week. Unless someone's away every day, that's

654
00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:31,120
Speaker 1: amazing every day, every day. So we would probably see

655
00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:33,640
Speaker 1: each other because I travel a bit, he does a bit,

656
00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:37,560
Speaker 1: but I'd probably see him three hundred and twenty days

657
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:41,320
Speaker 1: a year. And I would say our training to talking

658
00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:46,680
Speaker 1: shit ratio is thirty seventy. Right, So we talk shit,

659
00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:50,760
Speaker 1: We have fun, we hang out, we spot each other,

660
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:53,640
Speaker 1: We talk about the fucking meaning of life and silly shit.

661
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:56,360
Speaker 1: He sends me fucking ten videos a day that I

662
00:33:56,400 --> 00:34:00,520
Speaker 1: wouldn't want to watch. Right, I did that today already

663
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:03,480
Speaker 1: I trained with another friend as well. I rode my

664
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:05,600
Speaker 1: motorbike to the gym. I've got a bunch of bikes.

665
00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:07,680
Speaker 1: I rode one of my bikes to the gym, which

666
00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:11,800
Speaker 1: for me is fun. And because I live eight hundred

667
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:13,839
Speaker 1: meters from the beach, I walk to the beach every

668
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:18,319
Speaker 1: day and I just it's just me time and it's

669
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:21,759
Speaker 1: not fun per se, but it's it's I guess that

670
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:25,400
Speaker 1: kind of morphs into recovery, but for me just having

671
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:31,400
Speaker 1: because I'm like you, my life is intense. I'm with

672
00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:34,200
Speaker 1: a lot of people, like I told you today, I'm

673
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:38,720
Speaker 1: doing three three podcasts. I've had meetings, I've had UNI stuff,

674
00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:43,200
Speaker 1: I've had coaching a couple of people, which is very

675
00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:47,000
Speaker 1: cognitively intense where this is not, and some people with

676
00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:49,880
Speaker 1: some real issues. So me being a fuck with and

677
00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:52,239
Speaker 1: funny isn't appropriate. So you've got to put on the

678
00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:55,799
Speaker 1: serious hat and be a proper grown up, you know.

679
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:58,040
Speaker 1: And then so I might have eight or nine or

680
00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:00,920
Speaker 1: ten hours a day some days which have very intense

681
00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:06,359
Speaker 1: and very very cognitively and emotionally expensive, but I need

682
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:10,919
Speaker 1: to offset that with some complete bullshit. So and I'm

683
00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:13,200
Speaker 1: really good at doing that. I don't and I don't

684
00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:14,840
Speaker 1: say I'm good at many things because I am not.

685
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:18,600
Speaker 1: But the proof of that is that I rarely get

686
00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:23,280
Speaker 1: stressed or anxious like rarely. I sleep like a fucking champion.

687
00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:24,400
Speaker 2: Don't get sick.

688
00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:30,239
Speaker 1: I don't get sick much much would But yeah, I

689
00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:34,280
Speaker 1: don't get sick much. I don't feel anxiety. I don't

690
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:39,200
Speaker 1: feel stressed. And I think that's part of just like

691
00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:44,279
Speaker 1: I've been choosing hardship for forty years. Because I've said

692
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:47,040
Speaker 1: this to maybe you before, but I've definitely said it

693
00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:50,640
Speaker 1: twenty times on this show. Because when I was growing up, mate,

694
00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:53,279
Speaker 1: I wasn't super fucking great at anything. Like all my

695
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:56,880
Speaker 1: friends were either great athletes or great academics or great this,

696
00:35:57,160 --> 00:36:00,120
Speaker 1: great creatives or great whatever. I wasn't in any any

697
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:02,719
Speaker 1: of those groups. I was like mister five out of

698
00:36:02,719 --> 00:36:06,480
Speaker 1: ten and everything. And so for me, my mediocrity became

699
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:10,880
Speaker 1: my platform to resilience and strength and work ethic and grinding,

700
00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:16,400
Speaker 1: and then that became my superpower, like just my ability

701
00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:19,920
Speaker 1: to keep going like that. That's kind of set me up.

702
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:23,840
Speaker 1: So that's so I think things that would stress. I

703
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:26,760
Speaker 1: spoke about this the other day, like when my gym,

704
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:29,080
Speaker 1: when the guy was talking about that I trained today.

705
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:32,000
Speaker 1: I think you know the story he died five years

706
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:32,800
Speaker 1: ago at the gym.

707
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:34,800
Speaker 2: Do you know that story had a heart attack.

708
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:37,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, so he had. He actually had a cardiac

709
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:40,279
Speaker 1: arress so his hearts there was no heart attack per se,

710
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:45,239
Speaker 1: but his heart, of course stopped beating. And I don't

711
00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:46,640
Speaker 1: know why, but in the middle of that, I was

712
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:49,920
Speaker 1: completely calm, and everyone else in the gym was freaked

713
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:52,759
Speaker 1: the fuck out. Nobody would help, nobody would come, and

714
00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:56,640
Speaker 1: I don't know why, but for whatever reason, I'm very thankful.

715
00:36:57,320 --> 00:36:59,760
Speaker 1: I don't really get stressed.

716
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:03,240
Speaker 2: Very much, you know, but it's relative because you've stressed

717
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:07,760
Speaker 2: yourself a lot. That's called resistance training, it's called presenting,

718
00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:10,879
Speaker 2: it's called starting multiple podcasts, it's called starting a heap

719
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:14,920
Speaker 2: of businesses. The biggest misknowment of people go, oh, I

720
00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:16,319
Speaker 2: need to get rid of stress in my life. No,

721
00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:19,520
Speaker 2: you don't. You need to have short, sharp, regular hits

722
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:22,640
Speaker 2: of stress, and then you need to downregulate and chill

723
00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:25,560
Speaker 2: the fudge out physically and psychologically. And that's how you

724
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:28,160
Speaker 2: get your growth. And it's not just growth in the gym,

725
00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:31,600
Speaker 2: it's growth cognitively, growth in your relationships. Like I heard

726
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:34,879
Speaker 2: someone say, recently, Oh, yeah, there's stress in our relationship. God,

727
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:36,879
Speaker 2: if you've got kids, you've got a partner. You're trying

728
00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:39,680
Speaker 2: to function in your head, let alone someone else's. There's

729
00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:42,080
Speaker 2: always going to be stress. But what's the drop? So

730
00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:44,600
Speaker 2: you know what, I love asking you that question on

731
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:47,400
Speaker 2: the spot. I didn't send you this this list before.

732
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:50,279
Speaker 2: You just go on bang bang bang bang bang. So

733
00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:55,000
Speaker 2: you build hobbies, passion play into your life, and you've

734
00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:57,360
Speaker 2: obviously worked out a way to do what you do

735
00:37:57,400 --> 00:37:59,799
Speaker 2: and to bang out three out the podcast in a year,

736
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:03,840
Speaker 2: crazy mofo, because you've got a way to down regulate.

737
00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:05,840
Speaker 2: So I've got one other question on that, and this

738
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:08,160
Speaker 2: is this is for the learning for your audience as well.

739
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:13,200
Speaker 2: How did you feel when you rattled off your answer

740
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:16,080
Speaker 2: on that eight out of ten? All those areas so

741
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:19,040
Speaker 2: in that process of self reflecting, get a bit better

742
00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:19,319
Speaker 2: on me?

743
00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:23,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel content. I don't feel like there's no

744
00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:27,840
Speaker 1: arrogance orry ego in that I'm I'm quietly like for me.

745
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:31,480
Speaker 1: Of course, I know that I'm not objective, but I

746
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:35,480
Speaker 1: think I am pretty good in terms of self assessment.

747
00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:38,759
Speaker 1: I've spent five years studying it as my PhD and

748
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:42,800
Speaker 1: other things, but I'm you know, when I do a gig,

749
00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:45,560
Speaker 1: I finished the gig, and I'll talk to Melissa, who

750
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:47,640
Speaker 1: runs my life, and she'll go, how was it? And

751
00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:50,319
Speaker 1: I'll literally give her a number, and it's an out

752
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:53,319
Speaker 1: of ten assessment. And if I've crushed, it might be

753
00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:56,000
Speaker 1: an eight and a half or a nine, or if

754
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:59,200
Speaker 1: I was dogshit, which I'm not too often dogshit these days,

755
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:01,480
Speaker 1: but it could be a four. But if I was

756
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:04,560
Speaker 1: just like okay, but I wasn't super happy, It'll be

757
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:08,759
Speaker 1: a six, you know. And so that when I say

758
00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:10,680
Speaker 1: I'm an eight or an eight and a half in this,

759
00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:15,920
Speaker 1: there's no real arrogance attached to that. That's just my

760
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:18,640
Speaker 1: my experience of it. But there are other things on

761
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:21,960
Speaker 1: that list that I I wouldn't give myself that score.

762
00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:24,680
Speaker 2: Side note, I'm going to start giving myself a score

763
00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:27,080
Speaker 2: out of ten. Every presentation that's a that's a gold one.

764
00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:29,520
Speaker 2: So pick one or two others where you don't score

765
00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:35,120
Speaker 2: as well, I would.

766
00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:42,520
Speaker 1: Say, not work, but more business development, like I am,

767
00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:48,560
Speaker 1: I'm shit at I'm shit at business development. I just

768
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:53,399
Speaker 1: because like I don't I'm not driven to make lots

769
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:55,920
Speaker 1: of do I make good money anyway, And I'm very

770
00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:59,239
Speaker 1: grateful And there's no ego in that. It's like and

771
00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:01,400
Speaker 1: for a long time, didn't make a lot of dough,

772
00:40:02,239 --> 00:40:04,920
Speaker 1: and then I ended up with personal training centers that

773
00:40:05,560 --> 00:40:09,320
Speaker 1: was more just great timing than great business skills because

774
00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:13,120
Speaker 1: I literally had the only one in Australia. Right, So

775
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:15,920
Speaker 1: if you've got the only one of something, then you fail.

776
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:19,000
Speaker 1: You're fucking terrible. Right. So you remind me of Frank

777
00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:23,879
Speaker 1: Walker National Tiles. If all you do is tiles. He's

778
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:24,480
Speaker 1: a billionaire.

779
00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:28,919
Speaker 2: Frank Walker, is he? Yeah, he's literally a billionaire. We're

780
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:31,880
Speaker 2: trying to get him a conference entrepreneur conference I'm involved in.

781
00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:36,319
Speaker 2: And yeah, they said to me, he is literally he's

782
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:38,520
Speaker 2: cleaned up. And that's not his voice. He did his

783
00:40:38,560 --> 00:40:41,320
Speaker 2: first radio ad. It's like it's Frank Walker. They said, no,

784
00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:43,120
Speaker 2: I just got to be something different. So it's like

785
00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:46,920
Speaker 2: Frank Walker National Tiles apparently speaks nothing like it. It

786
00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:49,240
Speaker 2: was just a caricature they created with the radio station.

787
00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:51,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's interesting.

788
00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:52,799
Speaker 2: Sorry, I digress.

789
00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:57,160
Speaker 1: I just think for me, like business development all that stuff,

790
00:40:57,320 --> 00:41:00,919
Speaker 1: like I end up like this. This is I mean,

791
00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:06,200
Speaker 1: this is a very little example. I shouldn't even say this,

792
00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:08,759
Speaker 1: but fuck it, I'll throw myself under the bus. So

793
00:41:08,840 --> 00:41:11,920
Speaker 1: yesterday I coached this lady who for her to be

794
00:41:11,960 --> 00:41:15,799
Speaker 1: coached by me is not easy, it's not cheap. So

795
00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:22,000
Speaker 1: she'd I guess saved or whatever it's like, and booked

796
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,440
Speaker 1: in a session with me. And I did a session

797
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:28,319
Speaker 1: with her, and it was good, it was productive, it

798
00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:30,319
Speaker 1: was she enjoyed it. But we got to the end

799
00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:32,439
Speaker 1: of the time, We got to the end of the hour,

800
00:41:33,680 --> 00:41:37,680
Speaker 1: and she's just there was so much more to go through.

801
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:40,160
Speaker 1: And I knew that it would take her another you

802
00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:43,200
Speaker 1: know whatever, that she couldn't afford another session next week

803
00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:47,719
Speaker 1: or probably next month. And she was crying, and it

804
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:50,439
Speaker 1: was like it was very emotional. But I knew that

805
00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:52,840
Speaker 1: I'm one of the few people in the world I

806
00:41:52,840 --> 00:41:56,360
Speaker 1: guess that she felt comfortable to just because she trusts me,

807
00:41:56,480 --> 00:41:59,320
Speaker 1: but we're not friends. She trusts me, but we're not family.

808
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:03,480
Speaker 1: Going to share anything that she shared, right, so it's

809
00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:07,120
Speaker 1: a safe space. And she was just open and vulnerable

810
00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:11,960
Speaker 1: and honest and a little bit fractured. And I couldn't Andrew,

811
00:42:12,239 --> 00:42:16,640
Speaker 1: I couldn't go. Her name's not Donna, but I couldn't go. Okay, Donna, Well,

812
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:20,239
Speaker 1: time's up, have a great life, you know, all the

813
00:42:20,239 --> 00:42:23,440
Speaker 1: best over an now Craig Harper there to do it.

814
00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:26,000
Speaker 2: You would have been there hour knowing you No.

815
00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:28,200
Speaker 1: No, I can't. And I had an appointment. I said,

816
00:42:28,239 --> 00:42:32,759
Speaker 1: all right, I said, this is what I want you to do.

817
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:35,760
Speaker 1: I said, January. First week in January, send me an update,

818
00:42:37,080 --> 00:42:40,600
Speaker 1: tell me what's going on. I gave him my phone number,

819
00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:42,640
Speaker 1: which is a big no, no, you don't fucking do that.

820
00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:45,000
Speaker 1: I gave him my phone number. I said, send me

821
00:42:45,040 --> 00:42:47,960
Speaker 1: an SMS. I said, don't be the crazy person who

822
00:42:48,080 --> 00:42:50,840
Speaker 1: rings me at night drunk. Don't do that or just

823
00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:53,560
Speaker 1: block you, but send me a message. And I said,

824
00:42:54,080 --> 00:42:56,040
Speaker 1: a day or two after that, we'll do another one

825
00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:57,920
Speaker 1: of these. And she's like, oh, but I go no

826
00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:02,080
Speaker 1: cost And she's like, really, you know so, and I

827
00:43:02,120 --> 00:43:05,960
Speaker 1: know that's not a big deal, but I I you know,

828
00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:08,560
Speaker 1: I for me, it's a real dichotomy. I know I've

829
00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:10,040
Speaker 1: got to make money. I know I've got to build

830
00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:14,200
Speaker 1: a business and brand. Could I fucking I can't say well,

831
00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:17,520
Speaker 1: I can say no because I have to. But yeah,

832
00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:23,080
Speaker 1: so sometimes I'm I'm probably less entrepreneurial than actually serves

833
00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:26,400
Speaker 1: me from a business sense, but in terms of my

834
00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:29,280
Speaker 1: my values and my internal sat NAV I'm pretty comfortable

835
00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:29,560
Speaker 1: with it.

836
00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:34,480
Speaker 2: Can I dig into that a little bit? Yeah, when

837
00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:39,160
Speaker 2: I heard you talk about in adverted Cooma's Donna, that's

838
00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:41,400
Speaker 2: that's the right thing to do. I do Similarly, you

839
00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:45,480
Speaker 2: don't coach and teach and open studios and work with sport.

840
00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:49,080
Speaker 2: We've had a similar career trajectory. You had much, much,

841
00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:52,720
Speaker 2: much bigger businesses and personal training. But we like people,

842
00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:55,680
Speaker 2: so we're not assholes. But there's a little bit of

843
00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:58,560
Speaker 2: that where I go, Okay, let's tease out because dichotomists

844
00:43:58,560 --> 00:44:01,160
Speaker 2: thinking is I've got to be nice and I can't

845
00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:04,680
Speaker 2: make money. So it's not either or either I'm really

846
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:07,319
Speaker 2: nice to Donna, or I'm a capitalist pig and I'm

847
00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:09,319
Speaker 2: an asshole and I drive around get picked up in

848
00:44:09,320 --> 00:44:11,680
Speaker 2: a Bentley and I hyphenate the surname.

849
00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:16,960
Speaker 1: Harper Smith. That's a great harp a smile.

850
00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:21,120
Speaker 2: Smith is much better. So to me, it would be

851
00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:24,000
Speaker 2: not either or it's and so how can I help Donna?

852
00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:26,560
Speaker 2: And so if you're saying on your BD your business

853
00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:29,960
Speaker 2: development is not as great, but you are great at storytelling.

854
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:32,279
Speaker 2: You're great at building a tribe in a community, you

855
00:44:32,320 --> 00:44:35,560
Speaker 2: are great at having authentic, open conversations. I'm one of

856
00:44:35,640 --> 00:44:38,399
Speaker 2: many regulars who come on and have learned a lot,

857
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:40,279
Speaker 2: and we want to drink the harps kool aid as

858
00:44:40,320 --> 00:44:44,120
Speaker 2: well as be ourselves. But how do you get out

859
00:44:44,120 --> 00:44:46,560
Speaker 2: of your own way? That would be my thoughts, mate,

860
00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:48,680
Speaker 2: Like there's a U two song I love, get out

861
00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:50,640
Speaker 2: of your own way? How do you do what you

862
00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:52,320
Speaker 2: do best? And then maybe get someone to come in

863
00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:55,160
Speaker 2: and be your business development manager and go right, turn

864
00:44:55,239 --> 00:44:59,440
Speaker 2: this shit upside down, treat me as a product and

865
00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:00,759
Speaker 2: just modetize it.

866
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:04,080
Speaker 1: This is what I'm like. If I've got I've got

867
00:45:04,080 --> 00:45:07,880
Speaker 1: a workshop, like I did a workshop this week, two nights,

868
00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:10,239
Speaker 1: three nights ago, Tuesday, I don't know, fuck Tuesday or

869
00:45:10,239 --> 00:45:14,239
Speaker 1: Wednesday anyway, Wednesday night, I did a workshop, so two

870
00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:17,399
Speaker 1: nights ago. And this is how bad I am. I've

871
00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:20,560
Speaker 1: got a bunch of things coming up. I don't want

872
00:45:20,560 --> 00:45:22,480
Speaker 1: to talk about those things that I've got coming up

873
00:45:22,480 --> 00:45:23,880
Speaker 1: to the group because I don't want to look like

874
00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:27,560
Speaker 1: I'm selling them anything. I don't want to be. I

875
00:45:27,560 --> 00:45:29,920
Speaker 1: don't want to. I don't want them to think that

876
00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:34,320
Speaker 1: I ran this cheap workshop which was twenty seven dollars

877
00:45:34,360 --> 00:45:38,120
Speaker 1: fifty or twenty seven bucks to the general public online,

878
00:45:38,239 --> 00:45:40,600
Speaker 1: So it was online. I didn't want them to think

879
00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:42,640
Speaker 1: that this was a carrot to get him in the door.

880
00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:46,440
Speaker 1: And look now that you hear everybody, but ah, you

881
00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:49,680
Speaker 1: know which, it wasn't that. But I hate that, like

882
00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:52,840
Speaker 1: that makes my skin crawl. And so it wasn't that.

883
00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:57,319
Speaker 2: It wasn't that. And do you believe that you help

884
00:45:57,360 --> 00:45:59,680
Speaker 2: other people genuinely to improve their lives?

885
00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:07,040
Speaker 1: I think I do, but I don't know, Andrew, I have.

886
00:46:07,080 --> 00:46:09,840
Speaker 2: This do you get regular feedback.

887
00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:12,160
Speaker 1: Run with me?

888
00:46:12,280 --> 00:46:18,080
Speaker 2: And yeah, I feel like the psychologist in something about

889
00:46:18,080 --> 00:46:22,040
Speaker 2: Mary or but there she goes time she's up. Let's

890
00:46:22,040 --> 00:46:26,440
Speaker 2: delve into that one next time. Shall we just putting

891
00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:29,239
Speaker 2: on that thread? And I know it's your podcast and

892
00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:31,799
Speaker 2: I'll go back to being the guest at the moment,

893
00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:33,800
Speaker 2: otherwise I'll never be a guest on your party again.

894
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:36,960
Speaker 2: But it's interesting in this activity and even that that's

895
00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:39,680
Speaker 2: a great example for your listener, just even that that

896
00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:42,920
Speaker 2: question on self reflection on working career. Yeah, what is

897
00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:45,080
Speaker 2: it around business development? Tease that out a little bit.

898
00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:48,440
Speaker 2: There's a real opportunity for you to get someone to

899
00:46:48,480 --> 00:46:49,879
Speaker 2: come in and do it authentically.

900
00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:51,520
Speaker 1: And even if you're like that.

901
00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:53,600
Speaker 2: You could just sort of step aside, go I don't

902
00:46:53,640 --> 00:46:56,279
Speaker 2: like the money stuff. Say here's Cheryl. Cheryl comes out

903
00:46:56,320 --> 00:46:58,520
Speaker 2: and goes, hey, Harps has got a program on. We're

904
00:46:58,560 --> 00:47:01,319
Speaker 2: at Raban into weeks time. We're going to do all

905
00:47:01,320 --> 00:47:03,480
Speaker 2: this stuff. Come and see me after. It's only five

906
00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:06,200
Speaker 2: hundred bucks. Yeah, change your life.

907
00:47:06,719 --> 00:47:09,680
Speaker 1: Look, you're right, you're right, I mean, I just I have.

908
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:13,880
Speaker 1: I tell you what makes my skin crawl. People who

909
00:47:13,920 --> 00:47:18,520
Speaker 1: present themselves as the answer, like, I fucking hate that

910
00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:23,160
Speaker 1: so much. And people who say this is going to

911
00:47:23,160 --> 00:47:25,040
Speaker 1: piss off a few people because a few people that

912
00:47:25,120 --> 00:47:28,279
Speaker 1: listen to me do this. Oh ah, well fuck it,

913
00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:32,040
Speaker 1: they say, I change lives. Like, no, you don't, bro,

914
00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:36,760
Speaker 1: No you don't. Maybe some people change their life because

915
00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:39,720
Speaker 1: you said something that was of value and well done,

916
00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:42,319
Speaker 1: and maybe you were a tool or a resource or

917
00:47:42,440 --> 00:47:43,000
Speaker 1: just a tool.

918
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:44,880
Speaker 2: I'd say just a tool. If you go it around

919
00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:46,560
Speaker 2: saying like change lives.

920
00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:49,080
Speaker 1: Well, it's like literally, I have a look on Instagram.

921
00:47:49,160 --> 00:47:51,840
Speaker 1: There's so many people who talk about how many thousands

922
00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:54,680
Speaker 1: of lives they've changed. I go, I've never changed one.

923
00:47:55,160 --> 00:47:58,120
Speaker 1: The only one I've changed is me. I can't get

924
00:47:58,120 --> 00:48:00,560
Speaker 1: out of bed for people. I can't have discipline for people.

925
00:48:00,600 --> 00:48:03,560
Speaker 1: I can't make the decisions for people. I can't be

926
00:48:03,680 --> 00:48:06,760
Speaker 1: resilient for people. I can't be brave for people. They've

927
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:10,520
Speaker 1: got to do all that themselves. And if there's some

928
00:48:11,440 --> 00:48:15,160
Speaker 1: you know, kind of benefit from listening to me and

929
00:48:15,200 --> 00:48:19,279
Speaker 1: then they choose to turn that theory, because all I'm doing,

930
00:48:19,320 --> 00:48:22,279
Speaker 1: all you and me are doing right now is espousing

931
00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:25,799
Speaker 1: ideas and words and theories. And if someone listens to

932
00:48:25,880 --> 00:48:28,680
Speaker 1: us and then they choose to go and make a

933
00:48:28,719 --> 00:48:31,440
Speaker 1: decision and do a thing and create shift and create

934
00:48:31,440 --> 00:48:35,400
Speaker 1: a positive outcome, will there'll be ninety nine people that haven't.

935
00:48:36,440 --> 00:48:39,480
Speaker 1: So neither of those are because of you and me,

936
00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:41,280
Speaker 1: you know. Yeah.

937
00:48:41,480 --> 00:48:43,759
Speaker 2: So I've got a couple of parallel thoughts I want

938
00:48:43,760 --> 00:48:48,279
Speaker 2: to stitch together. And one random thought. You published a

939
00:48:48,280 --> 00:48:51,720
Speaker 2: bunch of books, my first book, which is called Flip

940
00:48:51,760 --> 00:48:54,480
Speaker 2: the Switch in New Zealand. Every time I was doing

941
00:48:54,480 --> 00:48:57,080
Speaker 2: your talk and said bestilling author of Flap the Swatch.

942
00:48:57,120 --> 00:49:00,360
Speaker 2: So I always kick all about Flap the Swatch. And

943
00:49:00,440 --> 00:49:03,640
Speaker 2: I had books and the company had bought one hundred

944
00:49:03,640 --> 00:49:05,920
Speaker 2: and fifty books for a bunch of bankers, And this

945
00:49:06,040 --> 00:49:08,600
Speaker 2: lady said oh, we signed your book. And I made

946
00:49:08,640 --> 00:49:10,319
Speaker 2: some sort of jokey you don't want me to sign

947
00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:12,000
Speaker 2: your book. It won't be worth anything when you try

948
00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:14,319
Speaker 2: and sell it, and she I bore me and she said,

949
00:49:14,440 --> 00:49:17,239
Speaker 2: young man, why would you write a book if you're

950
00:49:17,280 --> 00:49:19,320
Speaker 2: not proud to put your name on it? And she

951
00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:22,440
Speaker 2: grilled me. She said, is this book full of good content?

952
00:49:22,480 --> 00:49:24,920
Speaker 2: I said, absolutely? Has this book taken you a long

953
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:27,279
Speaker 2: time to put together? It's probably ten or fifteen years,

954
00:49:27,880 --> 00:49:29,800
Speaker 2: she said, own it? And when someone asked you to

955
00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:33,920
Speaker 2: sign signed. From that moment, I got out of my insecurity,

956
00:49:34,080 --> 00:49:36,480
Speaker 2: my phobo, fear of other people's opinion, my thoughts of

957
00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:38,960
Speaker 2: my mates from Dubo, Mario, Ego, Dino and Lapo. And

958
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:41,520
Speaker 2: you can't make this shit up. And he's a big

959
00:49:41,560 --> 00:49:44,919
Speaker 2: head sign in books thinking he's a hero. They're not there,

960
00:49:45,280 --> 00:49:50,040
Speaker 2: she was, And it was like this metaphorical slap. Why

961
00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:52,680
Speaker 2: don't you own it? Now, let's stitch that back together.

962
00:49:53,840 --> 00:49:58,600
Speaker 2: Your content's awesome. What's your potential? Nina James, big tits

963
00:49:58,600 --> 00:50:01,719
Speaker 2: and a squeaky voice, harps love you all coming along

964
00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:05,920
Speaker 2: here today. You know I'm a shit salesperson. I'm horrible

965
00:50:06,040 --> 00:50:07,560
Speaker 2: and I have people ask me all the time and

966
00:50:07,640 --> 00:50:09,440
Speaker 2: I don't do it anything, So step aside. So if

967
00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:11,080
Speaker 2: any of you would like to come to the program,

968
00:50:11,920 --> 00:50:15,800
Speaker 2: here's Bugsy. Bugsy's got something to say. You totally do

969
00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:18,080
Speaker 2: it authentically. You don't have to be there in your

970
00:50:18,120 --> 00:50:25,399
Speaker 2: teflon suit and your gold tooth. But wait, there's more. Yeah,

971
00:50:25,719 --> 00:50:28,080
Speaker 2: so how do you reckon that could work?

972
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:34,520
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, look you you're right, you're right. I need

973
00:50:34,600 --> 00:50:36,719
Speaker 1: to I need to get better at that. I need

974
00:50:36,800 --> 00:50:39,040
Speaker 1: to get Look, we're going to wrap up, but before

975
00:50:39,080 --> 00:50:41,960
Speaker 1: we do, you need to unpack yours. So yours was

976
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:46,920
Speaker 1: a courtesy of me telling you what it was, community and.

977
00:50:46,920 --> 00:50:49,920
Speaker 2: Security in spiritture. Yeah, before I wrap, can't help it?

978
00:50:50,080 --> 00:50:52,160
Speaker 2: Go how powerful is self reflection?

979
00:50:53,040 --> 00:50:53,480
Speaker 1: Amazing?

980
00:50:53,760 --> 00:50:56,840
Speaker 2: Like just because we created the space and there's trust

981
00:50:57,040 --> 00:50:59,600
Speaker 2: and you went down the rabbit hole and then go yeah, yeah,

982
00:50:59,680 --> 00:51:02,200
Speaker 2: well your reflection as you run the year, you could

983
00:51:02,200 --> 00:51:05,400
Speaker 2: get Bugsy the gold tooth and test on suit and

984
00:51:05,640 --> 00:51:09,399
Speaker 2: you're going to make more money. It's not for the money,

985
00:51:09,480 --> 00:51:12,400
Speaker 2: but more different, it's more impact, all right mine?

986
00:51:12,760 --> 00:51:14,680
Speaker 1: Right now, part of me wants to give you a cuddle,

987
00:51:14,719 --> 00:51:16,640
Speaker 1: and part of me wants to tell you to fuck off.

988
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:17,960
Speaker 1: So you're welcome.

989
00:51:18,760 --> 00:51:20,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, so can we talk about the fuck off bit

990
00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:21,840
Speaker 2: ha ha.

991
00:51:22,480 --> 00:51:25,040
Speaker 1: Because you're making me deal with shit, you know, but

992
00:51:25,160 --> 00:51:27,880
Speaker 1: it's exactly what I need. Yeah, you're right. It's like

993
00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:31,440
Speaker 1: you are right, Like there's nothing that you're saying about

994
00:51:31,560 --> 00:51:34,440
Speaker 1: me in this moment that is not true. It is,

995
00:51:34,719 --> 00:51:37,640
Speaker 1: it is true. And I still like when I say

996
00:51:37,680 --> 00:51:41,440
Speaker 1: to people I'm still insecure, I'm not saying that because

997
00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:47,040
Speaker 1: that sounds humble, like that is true, you know, I know,

998
00:51:47,560 --> 00:51:51,040
Speaker 1: you know. And there's this, as I've said before, there's

999
00:51:51,080 --> 00:51:56,279
Speaker 1: this ability we humans have to feel inadequate while knowing well,

1000
00:51:56,719 --> 00:51:59,640
Speaker 1: I'm not inadequate, but I feel inadequate, you know. So

1001
00:51:59,760 --> 00:52:04,399
Speaker 1: they can coexist that emotional negative with that intellectual kind

1002
00:52:04,440 --> 00:52:07,439
Speaker 1: of positive, you know. And it's I mean, I don't

1003
00:52:07,440 --> 00:52:10,000
Speaker 1: know about you, but I still get up or before

1004
00:52:10,080 --> 00:52:12,279
Speaker 1: I get up, if I'm doing a big gig to

1005
00:52:12,360 --> 00:52:14,600
Speaker 1: a big audience, and there's still part of me that goes, well,

1006
00:52:14,640 --> 00:52:16,400
Speaker 1: today's the day you're going to fuck it up. It's

1007
00:52:16,440 --> 00:52:19,799
Speaker 1: all going to come undone today today. I'm like, well,

1008
00:52:19,880 --> 00:52:24,040
Speaker 1: of course, you know, after seventeen million fucking gigs, this

1009
00:52:24,160 --> 00:52:26,240
Speaker 1: will be the shit one. And this will be my demise.

1010
00:52:27,520 --> 00:52:30,160
Speaker 2: I think if you don't have it's that version of

1011
00:52:30,239 --> 00:52:32,279
Speaker 2: imposter syndrome I spoke to you about last time. If

1012
00:52:32,320 --> 00:52:35,240
Speaker 2: you don't have any imposter syndrome, you're a narcissistic asshole.

1013
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:38,800
Speaker 2: If you have too much imposter syndrome, it's stabilitating. And

1014
00:52:39,040 --> 00:52:40,480
Speaker 2: I get this every time I start with a new

1015
00:52:40,520 --> 00:52:42,239
Speaker 2: sporting team or a new exec team. I was with

1016
00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:45,400
Speaker 2: a big insurance group last week with I bet the CEO,

1017
00:52:45,520 --> 00:52:48,080
Speaker 2: but he's executive team. I walk in there every time

1018
00:52:48,120 --> 00:52:50,320
Speaker 2: I start one of these gigs and go, what do

1019
00:52:50,400 --> 00:52:54,280
Speaker 2: I know about insurance? What do I know about working

1020
00:52:54,320 --> 00:52:56,480
Speaker 2: in rugby union? What do I know about doing a podcast?

1021
00:52:56,760 --> 00:52:59,759
Speaker 2: But you want enough imposter syndrome, but you're alive. It's

1022
00:52:59,800 --> 00:53:02,120
Speaker 2: like Locks and the Three Bears. This amount of impotster

1023
00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:05,600
Speaker 2: syndram is just right. And I think the wrestle with

1024
00:53:05,760 --> 00:53:09,560
Speaker 2: that it's healthy. It's really healthy. And so back to

1025
00:53:09,640 --> 00:53:14,239
Speaker 2: your question, mine was stopped deflecting. Mine was community and

1026
00:53:14,280 --> 00:53:17,800
Speaker 2: spirituality that you gave me. I've divided it because I

1027
00:53:17,800 --> 00:53:19,239
Speaker 2: think they are quite different. In the answer, I'm going

1028
00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:21,160
Speaker 2: to give you a community. I've given myself an eight

1029
00:53:21,719 --> 00:53:26,480
Speaker 2: spirituality five the community. Back ten years ago, I was

1030
00:53:26,719 --> 00:53:30,799
Speaker 2: involved with Combank. I'd had a bike ride for two years.

1031
00:53:30,880 --> 00:53:33,080
Speaker 2: We went from Sydney to Newcastle in the year two,

1032
00:53:33,120 --> 00:53:36,640
Speaker 2: which was twenty and twelve. Out of the twenty four

1033
00:53:36,680 --> 00:53:40,239
Speaker 2: people thirteen, so more than half from Combank. Another guy

1034
00:53:40,239 --> 00:53:42,239
Speaker 2: i'd met, Quentin Boys, ragged me up a week after

1035
00:53:42,280 --> 00:53:44,279
Speaker 2: that said mate, can I join your bike ride next year?

1036
00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:46,160
Speaker 2: I said, why don't you sponsor it? He said, what

1037
00:53:46,200 --> 00:53:47,960
Speaker 2: do you mean? I said, you got a little bit

1038
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:49,719
Speaker 2: more on your balance sheet a Combank than I do.

1039
00:53:50,400 --> 00:53:52,800
Speaker 2: My business back then was called the Performance Clinic. So

1040
00:53:52,920 --> 00:53:55,840
Speaker 2: we had a coffee put an idea together. We do

1041
00:53:55,920 --> 00:53:58,920
Speaker 2: a community ride to a three day ride. We took

1042
00:53:58,960 --> 00:54:01,480
Speaker 2: it to Matt Common, Matt now CEO at that stage

1043
00:54:01,520 --> 00:54:03,839
Speaker 2: he was running Retail Bank. Matt said, look, I love

1044
00:54:03,880 --> 00:54:06,720
Speaker 2: the idea. We're looking at doing something for engagement community.

1045
00:54:06,840 --> 00:54:11,080
Speaker 2: He said the biggest risk though is safety. So mazy,

1046
00:54:11,200 --> 00:54:13,000
Speaker 2: ye know, how do You're not going to be to

1047
00:54:13,080 --> 00:54:14,840
Speaker 2: run through the small business so we need someone to

1048
00:54:15,120 --> 00:54:18,879
Speaker 2: work with just It was absolutely SERENDI but it's two

1049
00:54:18,960 --> 00:54:21,200
Speaker 2: weekends later I was up visiting my mum and dad

1050
00:54:21,239 --> 00:54:24,520
Speaker 2: at Swansea outside Newcastle. Where they used to live. I'm

1051
00:54:24,560 --> 00:54:26,279
Speaker 2: in Cole's on a Saturday night and I run into

1052
00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:28,320
Speaker 2: Bruno Monroel, the chairman of Tour.

1053
00:54:28,239 --> 00:54:29,920
Speaker 1: To Qre Mazy.

1054
00:54:30,040 --> 00:54:31,960
Speaker 2: Bruno in the fruit and ved section. Mate, what are

1055
00:54:32,000 --> 00:54:33,440
Speaker 2: you doing? I said, I'm seeing mom and dad. What

1056
00:54:33,640 --> 00:54:35,759
Speaker 2: are you doing? I've got a held a holiday house.

1057
00:54:35,840 --> 00:54:37,879
Speaker 2: He said, no way, do you bring your bike?

1058
00:54:37,960 --> 00:54:38,120
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1059
00:54:38,600 --> 00:54:40,920
Speaker 2: Went for a ride the following morning stitch together the

1060
00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:44,680
Speaker 2: idea went back to Matt Common said, yes, that's ten years.

1061
00:54:44,960 --> 00:54:46,160
Speaker 1: I go. Now.

1062
00:54:46,320 --> 00:54:48,920
Speaker 2: Can for Cancer is a three day bike ride. Every year.

1063
00:54:49,320 --> 00:54:52,200
Speaker 2: They do half marathon walks every major city and they've

1064
00:54:52,239 --> 00:54:54,600
Speaker 2: got regional ones they can do online. They had a

1065
00:54:54,680 --> 00:54:58,839
Speaker 2: swim this year and also a team marathon. That little

1066
00:54:58,880 --> 00:55:02,320
Speaker 2: idea has now twenty million dollars that go straight towards

1067
00:55:02,400 --> 00:55:05,840
Speaker 2: two to Cure to help fund research for cancer breakthroughs.

1068
00:55:06,239 --> 00:55:07,640
Speaker 1: Wow, that's incredible.

1069
00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:09,600
Speaker 2: So when we had our ten year this year and

1070
00:55:09,719 --> 00:55:11,279
Speaker 2: out of on the bike ride there are only four

1071
00:55:11,360 --> 00:55:13,640
Speaker 2: of us that have done all ten. I just went,

1072
00:55:13,680 --> 00:55:16,279
Speaker 2: I'm so proud of COMBAK because they get beaten up

1073
00:55:16,400 --> 00:55:18,640
Speaker 2: and I've been saying it so it's all about money

1074
00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:20,880
Speaker 2: in the banks, and this is something that they do

1075
00:55:21,040 --> 00:55:25,600
Speaker 2: that's literally impacted so many people, so twenty million dollars

1076
00:55:25,680 --> 00:55:29,360
Speaker 2: so on community, I feel like I really belong with

1077
00:55:29,520 --> 00:55:33,160
Speaker 2: that tribe, and I'm so proud of what that group

1078
00:55:33,200 --> 00:55:36,239
Speaker 2: and had part of the idea at the start, but

1079
00:55:36,360 --> 00:55:37,960
Speaker 2: to be there from the start and see where it's

1080
00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:41,440
Speaker 2: come now and how Combank have really made this. It's

1081
00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:44,680
Speaker 2: their biggest community activity and now what they're looking at

1082
00:55:44,719 --> 00:55:46,680
Speaker 2: and we're helping them behind the scenes on this because

1083
00:55:46,760 --> 00:55:49,440
Speaker 2: is they've hit about seven thousand employees this year, seven

1084
00:55:49,480 --> 00:55:52,160
Speaker 2: and a half thousand employees. To go the next level,

1085
00:55:52,360 --> 00:55:55,520
Speaker 2: they're looking at donating plasma to try and get fifteen thousand,

1086
00:55:55,560 --> 00:55:58,239
Speaker 2: so it's still the next evolution. So from a community point,

1087
00:55:58,600 --> 00:56:02,320
Speaker 2: I feel totally engaged with that. From a spirituality, a

1088
00:56:02,800 --> 00:56:06,120
Speaker 2: very good looking, very intelligent, very skillful dude that you

1089
00:56:06,239 --> 00:56:09,200
Speaker 2: put me in contact with, Josh Peterman. I interviewed Josh

1090
00:56:09,320 --> 00:56:11,839
Speaker 2: last week, so thanks for the connection, and Josh gave

1091
00:56:11,880 --> 00:56:15,120
Speaker 2: a very different view on spirituality. It's not about religion,

1092
00:56:15,200 --> 00:56:18,200
Speaker 2: but it's about that connectivity and how you connect with

1093
00:56:18,280 --> 00:56:22,520
Speaker 2: the world around you. So is Josh's frame. I need

1094
00:56:22,600 --> 00:56:24,520
Speaker 2: to work on that to work on for me and

1095
00:56:24,640 --> 00:56:27,760
Speaker 2: I make the excuse. I've got four kids, run a business,

1096
00:56:27,840 --> 00:56:30,760
Speaker 2: do keynotes, work with a few sporting teams, love Chatna Harps.

1097
00:56:31,880 --> 00:56:33,319
Speaker 2: But it's an area that I'm going to do more

1098
00:56:33,360 --> 00:56:39,440
Speaker 2: work on as a reflection. Just is it going to church? No,

1099
00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:42,480
Speaker 2: I do go to church twice a year because mum's

1100
00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:45,880
Speaker 2: devastated if I don't. It's just more thinking about what

1101
00:56:46,160 --> 00:56:46,920
Speaker 2: else is out there?

1102
00:56:47,640 --> 00:56:52,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, exploring that. I grew up in a very religious paradigm,

1103
00:56:52,600 --> 00:56:56,600
Speaker 1: as we've I think covered on But for me, you know,

1104
00:56:56,719 --> 00:57:02,160
Speaker 1: the ever present theme in most it's some stage in

1105
00:57:02,280 --> 00:57:08,080
Speaker 1: most theological texts is love. And I just think that

1106
00:57:08,280 --> 00:57:10,480
Speaker 1: the way you treat people can be a form of

1107
00:57:11,160 --> 00:57:14,279
Speaker 1: you know, spiritual practice. How you are, how you show

1108
00:57:14,400 --> 00:57:17,280
Speaker 1: up in the world, how you love people, whatever that

1109
00:57:17,600 --> 00:57:20,640
Speaker 1: looks like. You know, how you connect, how you communicate,

1110
00:57:20,720 --> 00:57:23,600
Speaker 1: how you listen, how you care, how much empathy you

1111
00:57:23,760 --> 00:57:28,720
Speaker 1: have and express, and not in a strategic sense because

1112
00:57:28,760 --> 00:57:31,560
Speaker 1: you're trying to be spiritual, but just because that's an

1113
00:57:31,640 --> 00:57:33,560
Speaker 1: expression of who you are and how you are. And

1114
00:57:34,720 --> 00:57:37,840
Speaker 1: you know, for me, a part of my spiritual expression

1115
00:57:39,640 --> 00:57:41,800
Speaker 1: is having a purpose bigger than me, because I am

1116
00:57:41,920 --> 00:57:46,000
Speaker 1: inherently selfish, so there's this model that I kind of

1117
00:57:46,840 --> 00:57:49,840
Speaker 1: developed out of a bunch of other models, but it

1118
00:57:49,920 --> 00:57:52,680
Speaker 1: starts with self reflection and self awareness, and number seven

1119
00:57:52,840 --> 00:57:56,560
Speaker 1: is self actualization and number eight is self transcendence, which

1120
00:57:56,680 --> 00:58:00,680
Speaker 1: is essentially just having a purpose bigger than you. So

1121
00:58:00,960 --> 00:58:04,120
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, I think you do it, mate. I

1122
00:58:04,200 --> 00:58:06,880
Speaker 1: think you're very kind and generous, and you're very plugged

1123
00:58:06,920 --> 00:58:12,720
Speaker 1: into people and also being like I think you can be.

1124
00:58:14,680 --> 00:58:18,120
Speaker 1: You know that. I don't think kindness and love always

1125
00:58:18,400 --> 00:58:22,880
Speaker 1: needs to look all fluffy and more. You know, sometimes

1126
00:58:23,040 --> 00:58:25,440
Speaker 1: kindness is going, Hey, mate, I know you don't want

1127
00:58:25,440 --> 00:58:27,040
Speaker 1: to hear this, but this is what I think. And

1128
00:58:27,160 --> 00:58:29,320
Speaker 1: I know a fair bit about this stuff. And I'm

1129
00:58:29,400 --> 00:58:31,760
Speaker 1: telling you because I would love you to live twenty

1130
00:58:31,880 --> 00:58:34,439
Speaker 1: years longer than you're probably going to at this point

1131
00:58:34,480 --> 00:58:34,880
Speaker 1: in time.

1132
00:58:36,200 --> 00:58:39,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's interesting. I like how you flip the coaching.

1133
00:58:39,720 --> 00:58:43,720
Speaker 1: And I don't think it needs to be well, where's

1134
00:58:43,760 --> 00:58:46,640
Speaker 1: your DreamCatcher? Bro? Where are your fucking sandals? And it

1135
00:58:46,760 --> 00:58:50,560
Speaker 1: doesn't need to be. It doesn't like I you know

1136
00:58:50,760 --> 00:58:54,080
Speaker 1: that idea is not a bad idea, but I don't

1137
00:58:54,200 --> 00:58:58,480
Speaker 1: think that like I think that the I think if

1138
00:58:58,640 --> 00:59:02,080
Speaker 1: you can war can talk and live for the most

1139
00:59:02,160 --> 00:59:06,800
Speaker 1: part your values and if your values part of them

1140
00:59:06,840 --> 00:59:10,960
Speaker 1: are rooted in love and kindness and generosity, and when

1141
00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:16,360
Speaker 1: appropriate selflessness go, that's just you know, that's you just

1142
00:59:16,600 --> 00:59:21,840
Speaker 1: being a conscious, aware, evolved, spiritual being, just walking around

1143
00:59:21,880 --> 00:59:23,920
Speaker 1: in a biological spacesuit.

1144
00:59:24,400 --> 00:59:27,360
Speaker 2: Two things on that one is I'm totally on purpose.

1145
00:59:27,360 --> 00:59:29,560
Speaker 2: I've got a clear purpose, and we know the research

1146
00:59:29,640 --> 00:59:32,960
Speaker 2: on purpose, a clearly articulated personal purpose. It's got to

1147
00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:35,720
Speaker 2: be bigger than you, future focused and excite the living

1148
00:59:35,760 --> 00:59:38,320
Speaker 2: daylights out of it. So with work and sport, I'm

1149
00:59:38,400 --> 00:59:41,760
Speaker 2: totally on purpose. What I take out of what you've said,

1150
00:59:42,000 --> 00:59:44,240
Speaker 2: I need to build in more time. How ironic is

1151
00:59:44,280 --> 00:59:45,640
Speaker 2: this I'm getting on to say, Hey, we've all got

1152
00:59:45,680 --> 00:59:48,080
Speaker 2: to look in the review mirror my reflection, on our reflection.

1153
00:59:48,720 --> 00:59:50,160
Speaker 2: I just need to spend a bit more time and

1154
00:59:50,200 --> 00:59:53,280
Speaker 2: create some space to think a bit more about the

1155
00:59:53,320 --> 00:59:54,600
Speaker 2: connectivity and what is that?

1156
00:59:55,520 --> 01:00:00,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, like this is what I think about. Like

1157
01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:02,640
Speaker 1: right now, a whole lot of people are hearing you

1158
01:00:02,760 --> 01:00:04,400
Speaker 1: for the first time, and I know you're going to

1159
01:00:04,440 --> 01:00:06,720
Speaker 1: share this on your show, so there'll be some people

1160
01:00:06,760 --> 01:00:09,880
Speaker 1: who are hearing me for the first time and they

1161
01:00:09,920 --> 01:00:12,000
Speaker 1: can never ever hear you or me for the first

1162
01:00:12,080 --> 01:00:16,200
Speaker 1: time again, ever again. You know there's only one first time.

1163
01:00:16,240 --> 01:00:20,800
Speaker 1: There's only one first impression, and without being manufactured and strategic,

1164
01:00:21,600 --> 01:00:27,600
Speaker 1: it's like when somebody it's like today, this is what

1165
01:00:27,680 --> 01:00:30,480
Speaker 1: I was thinking about, how a tiny thing for me

1166
01:00:30,680 --> 01:00:33,800
Speaker 1: can have a massive impact on someone else. Right. So,

1167
01:00:34,880 --> 01:00:36,720
Speaker 1: I don't know if we've shared it, because we started

1168
01:00:36,720 --> 01:00:41,800
Speaker 1: this podcast twice. I don't think we talked about Joe

1169
01:00:41,960 --> 01:00:44,920
Speaker 1: Ingles on this, but I interviewed Joe Ingles, who is

1170
01:00:44,960 --> 01:00:49,040
Speaker 1: an NBA player, and one of my friends their kid

1171
01:00:49,760 --> 01:00:53,439
Speaker 1: is a budding basketball or a young girl and Indy

1172
01:00:53,520 --> 01:00:56,440
Speaker 1: Luski shout out to Indy and she's twelve and she's

1173
01:00:56,480 --> 01:00:58,400
Speaker 1: in a state team and she still a stay team

1174
01:00:58,440 --> 01:01:01,920
Speaker 1: for football and she's a fucking little superstar. Right. Sorry

1175
01:01:02,000 --> 01:01:04,720
Speaker 1: for saying fuck to her mum, but I thought, how

1176
01:01:04,800 --> 01:01:08,080
Speaker 1: good would it be if I could get an NBA player,

1177
01:01:08,160 --> 01:01:11,919
Speaker 1: one of Australia's best ever basketball is a multiple time

1178
01:01:12,000 --> 01:01:15,160
Speaker 1: Olympian blah blah blah, to give a shout out to

1179
01:01:15,240 --> 01:01:18,040
Speaker 1: this little girl. And I said at the end we finished,

1180
01:01:18,080 --> 01:01:20,000
Speaker 1: I said, mate, I hate to be cheesy, it's not

1181
01:01:20,160 --> 01:01:22,880
Speaker 1: for me, but is there any chance, and he goes,

1182
01:01:22,960 --> 01:01:26,320
Speaker 1: of course, and so he goes, I'll just I'll just

1183
01:01:26,440 --> 01:01:28,520
Speaker 1: do it into my phone when we finish, and i'll

1184
01:01:28,560 --> 01:01:31,120
Speaker 1: send you the video. So he did this beautiful video

1185
01:01:32,560 --> 01:01:35,440
Speaker 1: where he goes, hey, Indy, you know it's Joe Ingles

1186
01:01:35,440 --> 01:01:37,960
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. You know, Hope, you're great. I've heard

1187
01:01:38,000 --> 01:01:41,200
Speaker 1: about you. You're killing you know. And so it's thirty

1188
01:01:41,280 --> 01:01:44,240
Speaker 1: two seconds. I think now. It took him thirty two seconds,

1189
01:01:44,720 --> 01:01:46,680
Speaker 1: and it took me a bit of discomfort to ask

1190
01:01:46,800 --> 01:01:49,120
Speaker 1: him because I didn't want to fucking ask him. Well,

1191
01:01:49,200 --> 01:01:50,240
Speaker 1: it's just made.

1192
01:01:50,120 --> 01:01:53,960
Speaker 2: Her year, Like her mom like just was like, oh,

1193
01:01:54,040 --> 01:01:56,920
Speaker 2: my good, best Christmas present you could possibly give a

1194
01:01:57,000 --> 01:01:58,160
Speaker 2: young girl who's in the sport.

1195
01:01:58,240 --> 01:02:01,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you know, and it's like, yeah, how good.

1196
01:02:01,360 --> 01:02:04,800
Speaker 1: And I just made me happy to make her happy,

1197
01:02:05,360 --> 01:02:09,800
Speaker 1: Like that almost gave me more joy than actually the podcast,

1198
01:02:09,880 --> 01:02:12,880
Speaker 1: and I love the podcast. He's great. But yeah, I

1199
01:02:12,960 --> 01:02:16,440
Speaker 1: think that, you know, I think that's how that that

1200
01:02:16,680 --> 01:02:20,360
Speaker 1: spiritual component to your life can operate. It doesn't need

1201
01:02:20,480 --> 01:02:24,840
Speaker 1: to be overtly fucking dreamcatchery or caf Tanny or you know,

1202
01:02:25,080 --> 01:02:29,320
Speaker 1: it's like I don't yeah, and in fact, you know

1203
01:02:29,480 --> 01:02:32,680
Speaker 1: The irony is that telling people that you are spiritual

1204
01:02:33,520 --> 01:02:40,720
Speaker 1: is fundamentally not spiritual because there's ego in that. You know,

1205
01:02:40,880 --> 01:02:44,880
Speaker 1: there's there's self in that. You know, there's like, it's such,

1206
01:02:45,480 --> 01:02:46,440
Speaker 1: it's quite ironic.

1207
01:02:48,040 --> 01:02:50,920
Speaker 2: See, we've got deep, haven't we. We've reflected and haven't

1208
01:02:50,920 --> 01:02:53,360
Speaker 2: we looked at us? Yeah, I just want to tell

1209
01:02:53,400 --> 01:02:54,960
Speaker 2: that I love you, Andrew. And I just want to

1210
01:02:55,000 --> 01:02:55,440
Speaker 2: tell you that.

1211
01:02:56,320 --> 01:02:59,000
Speaker 1: Hey mate, tell my group we're got to wind up.

1212
01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:01,760
Speaker 1: We're going to wind up. I'm taking up your whole night.

1213
01:03:02,320 --> 01:03:04,440
Speaker 1: Tell my people how they can connect with.

1214
01:03:04,560 --> 01:03:08,680
Speaker 2: You on socials at Andrew may is the Handles and

1215
01:03:08,760 --> 01:03:11,520
Speaker 2: our website is Performance Intelligence dot com.

1216
01:03:12,680 --> 01:03:15,920
Speaker 1: Perfect. But I appreciate you. You're always a superstar. You're

1217
01:03:16,000 --> 01:03:18,680
Speaker 1: very generous with your knowledge and your insight and your time.

1218
01:03:19,680 --> 01:03:21,600
Speaker 1: And I'm sorry I made you do a quarter of

1219
01:03:21,640 --> 01:03:24,720
Speaker 1: a podcast only to start again to do another podcast.

1220
01:03:24,920 --> 01:03:25,640
Speaker 1: My apologies.

1221
01:03:26,120 --> 01:03:30,440
Speaker 2: It's a really good test, am I practicing relaxation?

1222
01:03:30,560 --> 01:03:31,040
Speaker 1: That was good.

1223
01:03:31,280 --> 01:03:34,440
Speaker 2: I really enjoy our chats and just in finishing for

1224
01:03:34,640 --> 01:03:38,680
Speaker 2: your audience, We've ducked and dived and dodged and all over.

1225
01:03:39,360 --> 01:03:44,000
Speaker 2: But the red thread through all of this is reflect

1226
01:03:44,720 --> 01:03:46,960
Speaker 2: the red thread through all this is don't just roll

1227
01:03:47,000 --> 01:03:50,640
Speaker 2: into Christmas and whatever you're doing in Christmas and then

1228
01:03:50,760 --> 01:03:52,360
Speaker 2: just go right. I've got to set goals for a

1229
01:03:52,440 --> 01:03:55,040
Speaker 2: new year. It really is powerful to look back a

1230
01:03:55,080 --> 01:03:57,120
Speaker 2: little bit. And this could be linked to gratitude as

1231
01:03:57,160 --> 01:03:59,640
Speaker 2: well and appreciation for what you've got. I've just found

1232
01:03:59,640 --> 01:04:01,640
Speaker 2: out the few years mate, it's really helped me and

1233
01:04:01,720 --> 01:04:05,080
Speaker 2: my clients. So for your audience, just that discipline. We'll

1234
01:04:05,080 --> 01:04:06,760
Speaker 2: send that link so they can go to your show notes.

1235
01:04:07,360 --> 01:04:09,160
Speaker 2: Just you know, spend twenty minutes, thirty minutes, grab a

1236
01:04:09,200 --> 01:04:11,280
Speaker 2: cup of two or a coldie over Chrissy and just

1237
01:04:11,320 --> 01:04:13,360
Speaker 2: look back in the review mirror before we ramp up

1238
01:04:13,400 --> 01:04:14,120
Speaker 2: for the year ahead.

1239
01:04:14,720 --> 01:04:17,480
Speaker 1: Perfect finish, mate, Thank you. I'll talk to you off air,

1240
01:04:17,560 --> 01:04:19,760
Speaker 1: but for the moment. Thanks for being on the new

1241
01:04:19,840 --> 01:04:20,520
Speaker 1: project again.

1242
01:04:20,880 --> 01:04:21,479
Speaker 2: Pleasure buddy,