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Speaker 1: I'll get a Tim Craig, Anthony Harper. What's your middle name? Mate, mazee?

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Speaker 1: What's your middle name?

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Speaker 2: Ricardo?

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Speaker 1: Andrew Ricardo? Wow? Maeh, up there, up there in the

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Speaker 1: thriving metropolis, meet down here in Melbs. It is the

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Speaker 1: you project. A shes us Hi, mate, how are you good?

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Speaker 2: We're recording.

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Speaker 1: We're just I'm telling everyone what I did.

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Speaker 2: I've just thrown Harps under his own typ bus. We

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Speaker 2: were in flow about ten minutes into it. I don't

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Speaker 2: know whether it was a mistake or whether I was

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Speaker 2: just mowfully, but Harps when jeez, mate, sorry, can we

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Speaker 2: start again?

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Speaker 1: I haven't pressed record? You looked mortified. I just laughed.

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Speaker 2: I said, let's go again.

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Speaker 1: Do you know what the dumbest thing that Melissa did

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Speaker 1: was she gave me control over when the recording starts

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Speaker 1: and stops, And like, why would you give me that

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Speaker 1: much power? You know, I'm an idiot, you know, I just.

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Speaker 2: Press the red button, don't touch anything else.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to ask you the same questions that

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Speaker 1: I asked you the first time round, So I'll just

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Speaker 1: I'll just start with this. How's your twenty twenty four been?

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Speaker 1: What did you learn are you Are you exhausted? Are

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Speaker 1: you excited? Are you a bit of both?

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Speaker 2: Let's answer that reverse. I am crawling, dragging myself like

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Speaker 2: got white on my fingers, is just pulling myself to

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Speaker 2: the line.

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Speaker 1: Mate.

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Speaker 2: In fact, I caught up with one of the clients

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Speaker 2: I trained this morning of training for a number of years,

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Speaker 2: is it see Over Big Company. I met him at

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Speaker 2: Bondi Beach. You know, you're a personal trainer. You're never

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Speaker 2: not a personal trainer. So even when I do work

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Speaker 2: with my exec clients, I'd still go for a walk,

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Speaker 2: throwing a few push ups, a few cheneis. And I

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Speaker 2: saw him at the beach. I'll work with him for

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Speaker 2: ten years, and you know, there's his public face and

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Speaker 2: he's a well known person, and then here's he's personally.

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Speaker 2: He's a good guy. And I looked at him, I

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Speaker 2: could see he was just tired. So I rocked up

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Speaker 2: to him and I just went nothing, I just g

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Speaker 2: I hugged him. I said, this looks like exactly what

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Speaker 2: you need to see. Yeah, I do, but probably not

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Speaker 2: from you, and not while everyone's watching. He hugged me

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Speaker 2: and he just laughed. He said, yeah, I think I

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Speaker 2: did need that. I think that just sums up the center.

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Speaker 2: But we all need a bloody good hug because I

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Speaker 2: was reflecting on this after our conversation ten years ago.

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Speaker 2: You'd remember this December early December, the engine would stop,

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Speaker 2: like for you and I when we put our keynote

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Speaker 2: hats on, you wouldn't do many keynotes in December. I

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Speaker 2: did four last week ups, like who are these people

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Speaker 2: still doing keynotes? A couple of weeks before Christmas? So

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Speaker 2: we're now working right towards the end. And I blame

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Speaker 2: a lot of the COVID because we're much more tech

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Speaker 2: set up at home, so we don't have that natural

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Speaker 2: downtime at the start of the day. And then if

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Speaker 2: you do go to the office, you've already been working on.

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Speaker 2: You take a few hours, and then we're getting back

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Speaker 2: on at night. So I just find there's this residual

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Speaker 2: fatigue now everyone is technical term wrecked.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's so interesting. So I don't know if

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Speaker 1: I've ever unpacked this with you, but i'd love your thoughts. Right,

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Speaker 1: So we it's a little bit nine nineties and nineteen

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Speaker 1: eighties now. But work life balance, the idea of work

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Speaker 1: life balance theoretically is like, if you work this much

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Speaker 1: and you don't work this much, there's this much at work,

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Speaker 1: this much not at work, and there's it's almost like

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Speaker 1: there's a formula or an equation.

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Speaker 2: And I hate the term.

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Speaker 1: I vomit.

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Speaker 2: And someone goes, we need a work life balance program.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I hate it, and I'm like, yeah, here's the

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Speaker 1: problem though, or works not equal and you could do

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Speaker 1: ten hours of something you fucking hate, and I do

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Speaker 1: fifty hours of something I love, and your job's worse

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Speaker 1: for you than mine. In fact, my job's good for me.

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Speaker 1: It actually energizes me, stimulates me, grows me, develops me.

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Speaker 1: And I'm doing fifty or sixty hours, and through your

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Speaker 1: lens you might go, oh my god, that is way

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Speaker 1: too much. But ten hours, Well, imagine having a job

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Speaker 1: that's only ten hours. It's like, yeah, well it depends.

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Speaker 2: I'd rather do seventy hours where I'm engaged and feel

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Speaker 2: like I'm growing and stretching and get tired. There's times

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Speaker 2: in all of our lives where you push it. The

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Speaker 2: original research I saw on that was back I had hair.

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Speaker 2: Harps were in the nineties, Like you know when they

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Speaker 2: show Homer Simpson with hair and everyone just last year

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Speaker 2: got those two little strands. But the research is on

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Speaker 2: work life balance, and they were researchers and I under

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Speaker 2: underscore that, but they weren't pracademics like you are practical.

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Speaker 2: They were researchers in a lab. So they said, hey,

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Speaker 2: we've got the data. You should sleep eight hours. How

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Speaker 2: many of your audience sleeps eight hours a night? You

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Speaker 2: should work eight hours and then recreate eight hours. It's

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Speaker 2: absolutely setting you. There's times during coming into holidays, mate,

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Speaker 2: I'm not going to work much at all. I'm pulling

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Speaker 2: the roller door down for three three weeks. But there's

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Speaker 2: times and you're the same. We bang out sixty seven

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Speaker 2: hour weeks and we love what we do and you

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Speaker 2: just get on with it.

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Speaker 1: Hey, but how do you do?

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Speaker 2: How are you? You're asking everybody else how are you?

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Speaker 1: Where are you? I am good, I'm like all the

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Speaker 1: stuff that people would typically ask about work and UNI

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Speaker 1: and study and all good. I've just got a very

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Speaker 1: close friend who's really crooked at the moment. So that's

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Speaker 1: taking a bit of my internal kind of energy, of

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Speaker 1: my emotional and psychological attention, I guess. So I'm I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to be really supportive there. But other than that,

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Speaker 1: I'm good. I'm I feel surprisingly calm and not exhausted.

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Speaker 1: It might hit me, but I tend to I don't

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Speaker 1: really kind of have a big end of year assessment

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Speaker 1: new year's strategy. Not that that's bad, I guess I

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Speaker 1: get a little bit more reflective. But you and I

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Speaker 1: are going to talk about, you know, almost having a

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Speaker 1: bit of a look at the year in review and

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Speaker 1: maybe setting us up ourselves up for another year. And

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Speaker 1: this is the time of the year for a lot

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Speaker 1: of people where there is introspection and reflection and some

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Speaker 1: kind of I guess almost assessment where we try to.

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Speaker 1: I think sometimes when we get away from work, whether

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Speaker 1: that's literally or metaphorically or geographically away, I think we

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Speaker 1: can get a level of perspective that we can't always

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Speaker 1: achieve when we're in the middle of whatever it is.

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Speaker 1: We're typically in the middle.

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Speaker 2: Of absolutely and a nice segue to get us back

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Speaker 2: on track. We're like Daryl and Dale and the Castle.

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Speaker 2: How's Buck, Dad? Yeah, he's okay. Sometimes we talk for hours. Yes,

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Speaker 2: the power of self reflection. I've done this the last

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Speaker 2: five or six years. Personally, I do it with all

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Speaker 2: my clients and we were chatting aback getting on and

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Speaker 2: doing something before the end of the year. I thought

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Speaker 2: this would be a really good one to do. It's

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Speaker 2: a bit like driving a car, is the analogy. Eighty

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Speaker 2: five ninety percent of your vision is looking out the

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Speaker 2: front window and to the side, and they go about

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Speaker 2: five to ten percent in the review and maybe five

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Speaker 2: and the side mirrors. So the point of the analogy is,

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Speaker 2: let's look back in the review mirror on the year

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Speaker 2: that's been and yeah, most of you are feeling tired,

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Speaker 2: like my client this morning, need a bit of a hug.

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Speaker 2: But there's some good research on this. So when you

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Speaker 2: look at goal achievement, the process of setting achieving goals,

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Speaker 2: but most of it looks moving forward. In the last

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Speaker 2: few years, there's been more around this accomplishment focus about

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Speaker 2: reviewing and reflecting your goals. And when I dug into

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Speaker 2: this a little bit a few years ago, I went, hey,

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Speaker 2: this is not new. There was a dude back in

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Speaker 2: nineteen thirty three called John Dewey who wrote about how

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Speaker 2: you should reflect and it bridges the gap between experience

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Speaker 2: and self awareness. And now we have people doing PhDs

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Speaker 2: around all this stuff, and you go, my god, this

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Speaker 2: is ninety years ago. Dewey also observed how serious and

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Speaker 2: careful consideration leads to personal growth. So I think to

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Speaker 2: honor the great man John Dewey. I've done knowing, but

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Speaker 2: he sounds like a great man. And to look at

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Speaker 2: that goal accomplishment theory. I've been at risk of this

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Speaker 2: over the years, half where I've had a year and

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Speaker 2: going right, bang, let's bag it, let's go and have

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Speaker 2: a break, and I'm going to come out next year

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Speaker 2: fresh and go again. What I've found personally and what

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Speaker 2: I've found with my clients is that process of looking

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Speaker 2: in the review mirror. It does a couple of things.

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Speaker 2: It just gives you some time to catch up and

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Speaker 2: make meaning of the year you've had. Two You then

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Speaker 2: can process yeah, wow, there's a bunch of areas in

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Speaker 2: my life, and we'll take people through a framework where

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Speaker 2: I've absolutely overachieved. I just haven't slowed down and caught up.

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Speaker 2: But there's also a bunch of areas I'm either not

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Speaker 2: happy with or there's a little bit more I can do,

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Speaker 2: which can then help you set up for the following year.

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Speaker 2: So I've found this activity really beneficial.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, before we do that, I want to ask you, like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know if we've had this chatter before, but

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Speaker 1: one of the things I often ask audiences is about,

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Speaker 1: you know, whether or not they think they're open minded

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Speaker 1: and in general terms objective, And everyone goes, yeah, fuck yeah,

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Speaker 1: super open minded. I'm super objective.

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Speaker 2: I'm not closed minded.

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Speaker 1: Who said that? Who told you? Yeah, that's right? And

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Speaker 1: you know, then I explained, I said, well, look that

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Speaker 1: you know. Your version of the world is a subjective

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Speaker 1: version that's not good or bad or broken. That's human.

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Speaker 1: I'm the same. Am I open minded? Not really? Am

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Speaker 1: I totally objective? Nowhere near it? Would I like to be?

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Speaker 1: Do I like the idea, yes I do? But the

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Speaker 1: reality is I've got preexisting ideas and beliefs and biases

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Speaker 1: and bullshit and issues and programming, And in the middle

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Speaker 1: of all of that, I create my own reality, which

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Speaker 1: I'm well aware as just mine. But when we are

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Speaker 1: reflecting and looking at our year, world's longest fucking set

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Speaker 1: up question, by the way, hurry up ups. But when

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Speaker 1: we are see that self awareness, when we are looking back,

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Speaker 1: how do we find kind of a level of objectivity

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Speaker 1: or perspective which is.

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Speaker 2: Empowering rather than you know, convenient if I go a

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Speaker 2: layer deep from that is part of that question as well.

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Speaker 2: How do you do this and be really honest and

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Speaker 2: authentic and not bullshit yourself so you're doing a happy shait.

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Speaker 2: How I have done that. I've done this with my team.

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Speaker 2: I've said to everyone earlier this week, let's do this

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Speaker 2: and let's share it, and we shared it in our

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Speaker 2: staff meeting as well. That was a way of everyone

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Speaker 2: to be open and honance. So if you've got a coach,

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Speaker 2: you could do that with them. Pretty hard to do

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Speaker 2: with your partner sometimes because they'll have a view, a

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Speaker 2: pretty firm view. So as you're leading into Christmas, if

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Speaker 2: your window of tolerance the psychologists will talk about in relationships,

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Speaker 2: you need a big window of tolerance. If the window

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Speaker 2: is closed and it's boarded up, I maybe wouldn't do

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Speaker 2: this with your partner until you've had a bit of time.

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Speaker 2: I think the main thing would be to share it

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Speaker 2: with somebody else on that Sometimes are the people you

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Speaker 2: know best, they know you too well, so it's that

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Speaker 2: level of connectivity. So that's how I'd answer that is

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Speaker 2: if you find that sometimes you bullshit yourself and say

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Speaker 2: the stuff you want to because you I don't know

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Speaker 2: if you think you're being marked on this. I'd share

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Speaker 2: it with someone and say, hey, here's what I reckon.

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Speaker 2: What do you think am I aligned with how you

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Speaker 2: see the way I show up?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? And I think you need to be extraordinarily fucking

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Speaker 1: courageous and authentic to do that properly, because people who

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Speaker 1: say they want feedback generally they don't want feedback. They

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Speaker 1: just want praise, they want endorsement. It's like, oh, do

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Speaker 1: you really want to know how you come? Do you

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Speaker 1: really want to know what I think? Do you really

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Speaker 1: you know? And it's like, oh, it's some of the

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Speaker 1: shit that I've got a few people that have given

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Speaker 1: me like real feedback over the years, and in the

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Speaker 1: moment I didn't fucking love it at all, but part

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Speaker 1: of me knew they were right. How do we find

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Speaker 1: that person? For a start? Because I feel like a

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Speaker 1: lot of people will tell you what they think you

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Speaker 1: want to hear, which isn't particularly value to you unless

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Speaker 1: it's absolutely true. If it is absolutely true, that's good.

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Speaker 1: But you know, sometimes it's like, sometimes the things I

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Speaker 1: need to do and not the things I want to do.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes the things I need to hear. Are not the

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Speaker 1: things that I'm comfortable with. Any tips for us on

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Speaker 1: the giving or getting side of that equation.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I reckon. It all comes back to trust. You've

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Speaker 2: got to have a bed rock of trust. It's someone

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Speaker 2: you know, someone you've got a connection with, and then

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Speaker 2: trust builds that psychological safety. So if you have that

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Speaker 2: and this is not hey, harps are on and off site,

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Speaker 2: you think Terry's a bit of an asshole. So we're

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Speaker 2: going to get you guys to go and build an

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Speaker 2: egg cup catcher. Hey, now, your mates, that's not too bad.

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Speaker 2: That's a fucking horrior like you've been there, I've seen it. Well,

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Speaker 2: let's do another one another day. The worst team building

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Speaker 2: activities ever, I reckoned. You could put that out to

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Speaker 2: your audience and get some good ideas. So it's not that,

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Speaker 2: but it's actually, hey, let's have a robust conversation and

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Speaker 2: if you've got that bank of trust, and Brene Bras

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Speaker 2: says it beautifully, trust is like a marble jar. It

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Speaker 2: can take a long time to fill up the jar.

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Speaker 2: One swoop can knock it over. So the person you

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Speaker 2: would be looking for is someone that you know, someone

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Speaker 2: that you've built up that marble jar of trust for

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Speaker 2: a period of time. But you pointed on something really interesting.

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Speaker 2: Every person I work with, every coaching client at the start,

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Speaker 2: I'll we do a whole medical bloods, all that stuff.

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Speaker 2: When we go deep with them, I go, look, how

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Speaker 2: do you like feedback? And they look back me be

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Speaker 2: a little bit O, what do you mean? I said, well,

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Speaker 2: do you like feedback? Because I've spent twenty five years

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Speaker 2: in the world of a late sport and feedback is immediate, honest, open.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes people don't like that. Ah no, mate, I love feedback.

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Speaker 2: You know. I work in an executive team and then

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Speaker 2: you flex it and then you give them feedback and

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Speaker 2: you look like you've slapped them and go, look are

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Speaker 2: you okay? No one's ever spoken to me like that

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Speaker 2: in my life. I said, you told me you like

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Speaker 2: really open, honest feedback. Said yeah, I've had nothing like that.

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Speaker 2: And then underneath you, Paul, oh that's goods. You're the

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Speaker 2: top of an organization chart and your feedback is mostly

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Speaker 2: what you want to hear. So getting the right feedback

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Speaker 2: from someone you trust, but then also being open to

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Speaker 2: it one thing to say, hey, I want feedback, but

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Speaker 2: then are you going to do anything about it? Yeah, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's that's the thing.

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Speaker 1: It's like, it's having a real insight into and not

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Speaker 1: in a self loading way. I think this is important.

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Speaker 1: I think some people think that when you go introspective

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Speaker 1: and self reflective that it's like finding your faults. No,

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Speaker 1: for me, it's not about that. It's really just about

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Speaker 1: me understanding me and me, you know, and to the

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Speaker 1: you know, to the topic of my PhD, which is

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Speaker 1: trying to understand how others understand you or perceive you

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Speaker 1: or experience you. You know, when I explain this, when I

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Speaker 1: go you know, in corporate land and other spaces where

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Speaker 1: I talk about you know, metaperception and theory of mind

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Speaker 1: and meta accuracy and all of these things about understanding

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Speaker 1: how others think broadly and then specifically how others see

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Speaker 1: me or experience me. And you know, so many times

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Speaker 1: I've been told so much shit about me that is

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Speaker 1: really quite somewhere between a bit uncomfortable and fucking brutal.

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Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, I think, well,

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Speaker 1: I think, look, if that's true or not, I still

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Speaker 1: need to know it, because if ten twenty people think

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Speaker 1: I'm a fucking idiot because of this. But I'm not

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Speaker 1: a fucking idiot, but enough people think it, then one,

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Speaker 1: maybe I'm a fucking idiot. And two, at the very least,

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Speaker 1: I need to understand that I'm doing or saying something

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Speaker 1: which comes across as I'm an idiot. So and it's

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Speaker 1: not about being a people pleaser. But if you move

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Speaker 1: through the world with zero awareness of how other people

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Speaker 1: experience you, or experience this moment in time, or experience

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Speaker 1: this conversation or this situation, and part of your job

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Speaker 1: is dependent on interpersonal connection, well you're fucked. I give

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Speaker 1: you a quick.

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Speaker 2: Story and to give you an example on how this

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Speaker 2: can work. I used to work at a consulting firm

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Speaker 2: and one of the big leaders there said, to be made,

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Speaker 2: can you come and watch me speak? I said, yeah, where.

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Speaker 1: Are you on?

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Speaker 2: He told me he was at this conference and he

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Speaker 2: was representing the firm for a client industry forum. And

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Speaker 2: I watched him speak and then in Craig Harper language,

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Speaker 2: he was a fucking train wreck. It was horrible, like

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Speaker 2: it was all slide, slide, slide, and then let me

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Speaker 2: tell you this, and here's there was no vulnerability, no storytelling,

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Speaker 2: no connection and I said to him, okay, so you

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Speaker 2: want some feedback and to understand the hierarchy and a

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Speaker 2: consulting firm. If I've been here for a long time,

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Speaker 2: fifteen twenty years, even though I was a partner, I've

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Speaker 2: called a junior burger. Because I'm a lateral higher. It's

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Speaker 2: almost an alien. So I asked him for permission. I said, look,

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Speaker 2: you've asked me for feedback. I've taken some notes. Now

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Speaker 2: can I give you feedback as someone who's got fifteen

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Speaker 2: or twenty years domain expertise as a speaker, not as

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Speaker 2: someone who's just joined the firm. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely.

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Speaker 2: And I hear him and he'd given me permission, and

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Speaker 2: we get on well. And he looked at me after

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Speaker 2: and he said, I've never been given feedback like that

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Speaker 2: in my life. So I've got two questions for your

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Speaker 2: Number one is how are you feeling? And he said

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Speaker 2: it's horrible. He said, I feel vulnerable, I feel exposed,

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Speaker 2: and it's horrible. I said, what is your learning? He said,

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Speaker 2: my learning is God. I wish i'd done this years ago.

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Speaker 2: He said, I've been speaking like that for twenty years.

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Speaker 2: I said, you're killing me. He said, not twenty years

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Speaker 2: I said, can you imagine how many people have walked away?

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Speaker 2: Because I said to him, you come across as a

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Speaker 2: bit of a dick because all your stories start with I.

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Speaker 2: There was no interconnectivity, no turn and talk. How about

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Speaker 2: we just have a drop in intensity, turn talk to

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Speaker 2: the next you, person next to you? How do you

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Speaker 2: show up? So there's no connectivity, I said, you've only

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Speaker 2: had people in your chorus telling you are you doing

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Speaker 2: a great job because of the organization chart. That was

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Speaker 2: a really good example in life. I see this guy.

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Speaker 2: I saw him when I was overseas recently. He said,

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Speaker 2: you remember that time made? How could I forget? I said,

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Speaker 2: it looked like you looked like I've never seen you

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Speaker 2: look before. He said, yeah, because I've never felt like that,

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Speaker 2: probably since school. And I didn't get picked because he said, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I wasn't great at sport because I am a bit

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Speaker 2: of an intellect. And that was just a beautiful example

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Speaker 2: when you ask for feedback and you've got that connectivity it.

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Speaker 2: I did it from a place of care and compassion,

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Speaker 2: and I just said to me, if I don't give

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Speaker 2: you this feedback and you don't do anything on it,

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Speaker 2: you're going to have a lot of people walk away

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Speaker 2: and that go, you're a bit of a dick, But

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Speaker 2: I know you. You're actually a good guy. Anyway, fast

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Speaker 2: track what have been now six years later, presenting in

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Speaker 2: a totally different way. He's engaging, he's asking questions, he's

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Speaker 2: actually thinking about the audience and how his message is

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Speaker 2: going to land, rather than just giving a slide deck

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Speaker 2: verbal triage and just spraying everyone with a bunch of slides.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a beautiful story, man, because it's like you

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Speaker 1: pulled back the curtain and you showed him something that

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Speaker 1: only you could show him, or only somebody who had

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Speaker 1: your awareness and understanding and integrity could show him. But

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Speaker 1: that's whether he knew it or not, that was the truth.

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Speaker 1: And you pulled back the curtain and showed him the truth.

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Speaker 1: And that good on him, though, I mean good on

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Speaker 1: him for taking that on board and then doing something

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Speaker 1: with that. And I think when you like, if you

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Speaker 1: do it the right way, even if it's really direct.

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Speaker 1: I tell people regularly, I don't care about your feelings

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Speaker 1: for the next five minutes. I don't I care about

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Speaker 1: your health for the next five decades. That's what I

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Speaker 1: care about. If you get a bit upset called I

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Speaker 1: don't care. It doesn't mean I don't care about you,

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Speaker 1: but I don't give a fuck about your emotional state

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Speaker 1: for the next two or three minutes. It's not my

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Speaker 1: job in life to make you feel okay. That's not

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Speaker 1: my purpose. That's your job, right, or maybe I don't

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Speaker 1: know anyone not mine. My job is to help you

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Speaker 1: step in, to see what is, to see reality, to

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Speaker 1: to I can get your hands dirty, to you know,

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Speaker 1: look behind the curtain that I'm pulling back for you.

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Speaker 1: Because this might not be what you want to hear.

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Speaker 1: But from where I stand, and I'm a lot more

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Speaker 1: objective about you than you. You know, this is this

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Speaker 1: is true. You're not accidentally eating all that shit. You're

403
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Speaker 1: choosing it. This is You're not you don't look or

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Speaker 1: function the way you do because of some fucking factor

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Speaker 1: that's out of your control. Right. This is you. And

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Speaker 1: I'm not saying you're a bad human. I'm not saying

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Speaker 1: you're terrible or flawed or broken. I'm saying that you

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Speaker 1: are doing shit which is essentially high level self sabotage.

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Speaker 1: Now I can tell you poor you, and I can

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Speaker 1: give you a metaphoric or a literal BackRub and I

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Speaker 1: can fucking join in the pity party or I can

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Speaker 1: go No, that's bullshit. And if you don't open your eyes,

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Speaker 1: you're going to be in the same place or worse

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Speaker 1: in one, two, five years. And if you surround yourself

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Speaker 1: with a fucking fan club and people pleases, which is

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Speaker 1: what you're currently doing, it's gonna it's going to end bad.

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Speaker 2: You're just going to have more people at your funeral,

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Speaker 2: and your funeral is going to come a lot earlier

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Speaker 2: the premise with what you were talking about with your clients.

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Speaker 2: And I know you do this. You're similar to me,

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Speaker 2: like people might. Ah, he's been a bit of a preck,

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Speaker 2: but we're a friendly preck.

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Speaker 1: Right.

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Speaker 2: It's done with heart and it's done with compassion when

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Speaker 2: you have permission. So even though this guy had said, hey,

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Speaker 2: come and watch me, I watched him. I made the

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Speaker 2: notes and then I said, all right, do you want

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Speaker 2: me to like, can we just strip the hierarchy and

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Speaker 2: can I just really give it to you the permission?

430
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,000
Speaker 2: So he'd asked me to go there, and then I

431
00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:41,919
Speaker 2: framed it again so he'd put in the place that

432
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:44,480
Speaker 2: I could be open with him and talk. I think

433
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,720
Speaker 2: that's really important that we all have people around us

434
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:48,879
Speaker 2: like that Harps, because otherwise you can start to believe

435
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:51,240
Speaker 2: the bullshit right, and you're in a bubble. I reckon

436
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:53,200
Speaker 2: that it'd be horrible to be going along for years

437
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:56,800
Speaker 2: and never get feedback, and combine that with no self reflection,

438
00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:00,360
Speaker 2: you're just going to be bouncing around pissing somebody laugh

439
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:01,639
Speaker 2: hundred percent.

440
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:03,920
Speaker 1: I don't know if I've told you this, I might

441
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:07,280
Speaker 1: have bet my audience, but bear with the audience. It's

442
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:11,000
Speaker 1: nearly two thousand episodes, so there's a bit of repetition unavoidable.

443
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:13,359
Speaker 1: But one of my stories is I used to one

444
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:16,880
Speaker 1: hundred years ago do vic Fit Bickfit lecturing. So the

445
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:20,960
Speaker 1: fitness industry courses SIRT three and four boys and Girls,

446
00:22:21,119 --> 00:22:24,560
Speaker 1: and one of the you know, we always had feedback sheets.

447
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:29,399
Speaker 1: That feedback was mostly positive. I say, mostly, I'm smiling.

448
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:30,200
Speaker 2: I've heard this story.

449
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:34,240
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, but the common you know, like not not

450
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:38,760
Speaker 1: like seventy percent, but maybe fifteen percent, was you're scary,

451
00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:43,919
Speaker 1: you're intimidating. And so I walk into the class with

452
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:46,720
Speaker 1: those feedback sheets and go, who fucking wrote this? No?

453
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:51,000
Speaker 1: I didn't. I wanted to just for a joke. For context,

454
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:51,720
Speaker 1: you're a bodybuilder.

455
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:54,000
Speaker 2: When I first met you, you're still a big, strong

456
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:56,159
Speaker 2: lab Now you were Jack's I can imagine you what

457
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:56,560
Speaker 2: the front?

458
00:22:56,600 --> 00:23:01,600
Speaker 1: All right? Who fucking wrote this up? Now I've got

459
00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:04,959
Speaker 1: your fucking feedback sheets right in front of me. All right,

460
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:11,240
Speaker 1: these people wait for me after glass, there's none of that.

461
00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:15,200
Speaker 1: But it's like when I first got it and I'm like, oh, okay,

462
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:17,120
Speaker 1: they're a bit precious. And then I'm like, oh, he's

463
00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:19,440
Speaker 1: another one. Oh he's another one. Oh here's another one.

464
00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:22,320
Speaker 1: And then I ended up talking to Tara, who was

465
00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:27,000
Speaker 1: working with me in that space, and she's like, well, yeah,

466
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,439
Speaker 1: of course. And I'm like, what do you mean? What

467
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:33,800
Speaker 1: do you mean? She's like, well, you know, you're intimidating.

468
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:37,240
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm not intimidating, and she's like, you're you're intimidating.

469
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:40,240
Speaker 1: She goes, you're a sweetheart, but you're scary to people

470
00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:42,439
Speaker 1: who don't. I'm like, how am I scary? And then

471
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:46,400
Speaker 1: she unpacked thirty seven ways I'm scary. I'm like, all right,

472
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:50,520
Speaker 1: So that just helped me, you know, because that was

473
00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:51,960
Speaker 1: never my intention, Like.

474
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:54,720
Speaker 2: How do you temper that? How did you change that.

475
00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:57,959
Speaker 2: So after that feedback, did you do anything at the

476
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,440
Speaker 2: start and then I'll tell you funny sorry about a

477
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:03,520
Speaker 2: lady who's really changed perception at the start of the presentation.

478
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:08,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I asked a lot more questions and

479
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:14,359
Speaker 1: I was just I realized that I was, you know,

480
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:17,439
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm talking to students who don't know, you know,

481
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:20,920
Speaker 1: a bicep from a carbohydrate, right, or inflection from extension

482
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:25,840
Speaker 1: or whatever. Right. So I'm I probably I may have

483
00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:28,720
Speaker 1: spoken a little over their head. I don't think I did,

484
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:32,640
Speaker 1: but yeah, I just I kind of in a nice way,

485
00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:37,200
Speaker 1: dumbed it down, softened it, made it more interactive, tried

486
00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:41,639
Speaker 1: to consciously be a little bit more doory teller, a

487
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:44,800
Speaker 1: little bit more fun, a little bit less. You know,

488
00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:46,120
Speaker 1: my way or the highway.

489
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:52,320
Speaker 2: Do you know a lady named nin James no means

490
00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:55,640
Speaker 2: in America now she started on the keynote circuit in Australia.

491
00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:59,720
Speaker 2: Gotta be fifteen. I think I was at the Ausy

492
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:02,840
Speaker 2: Creek to him, that's more than that to be be

493
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:07,520
Speaker 2: nearly twenty years ago. And I saw it mean and

494
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:11,680
Speaker 2: double E N James j A M E. S So

495
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:14,880
Speaker 2: NaN's this little pocket rocket. We're at this HR conference

496
00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:17,439
Speaker 2: in Brisbane. She was the opening keynote and I was second,

497
00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:19,920
Speaker 2: so I got in, thought I'll watch Nane. I've heard

498
00:25:20,359 --> 00:25:23,119
Speaker 2: purchase a good speaker. She gets on stage, she goes, Hello,

499
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:26,240
Speaker 2: I'm Nane James, and I've got a squeaky voice and

500
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:30,879
Speaker 2: big tits, So get over it. There's there's eight hundred

501
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:36,520
Speaker 2: and nine hundred people in Brisbane hysterical. Her opening line was, Hello,

502
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:39,639
Speaker 2: my name is nine James. I've got big tits and

503
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:42,040
Speaker 2: a squeaky voice. Now get on with that, now, mate.

504
00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:45,919
Speaker 2: She did have a very squeaky voice.

505
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:50,159
Speaker 1: Yeah, I knew what. I knew that was coming.

506
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:54,240
Speaker 2: I could see your little giggle. But she had she

507
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:57,520
Speaker 2: she had, she had, she had both. She was spot on.

508
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:00,960
Speaker 2: But what it did, because I'm sitting at the back

509
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:05,600
Speaker 2: before she did this, I'm going, my god, she's she

510
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:07,440
Speaker 2: got big boobs, very big boobs. And she started to

511
00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:09,840
Speaker 2: speak helo and I'd heard she had a squeaky voice.

512
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:13,640
Speaker 2: But when she did that, I then just totally giggled

513
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:16,000
Speaker 2: and then forgot about it. And not once during the

514
00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:18,879
Speaker 2: rest of that presentation did I think she had a

515
00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:26,640
Speaker 2: big voice or squeaky Yeah. So She totally disarmed people

516
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:29,000
Speaker 2: at the start, So I learned a lot from that.

517
00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:33,760
Speaker 2: So I think given feedback, Yeah, if you can do

518
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:37,320
Speaker 2: something in the first thirty sixty ninety seconds that gets

519
00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:42,440
Speaker 2: people engaged or amused or laughing, it's like a super power.

520
00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:45,520
Speaker 2: It was an icebreaker. It was a hey, don't just

521
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:49,200
Speaker 2: sit there and start thinking about physical characteristics on my voice.

522
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:52,040
Speaker 2: It was beautiful, absolutely beautiful the way she did it,

523
00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:54,719
Speaker 2: and it came from she'd obviously had feedback that some

524
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:57,640
Speaker 2: people were just thinking about that, so she totally cut

525
00:26:57,680 --> 00:26:59,520
Speaker 2: it out by running at it at the start. So

526
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:02,040
Speaker 2: she was aware enough and she'd had feedback from people

527
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:04,359
Speaker 2: and could process that and realized that that was going

528
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:06,240
Speaker 2: to make a difference by bringing that up at the start.

529
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:10,720
Speaker 1: That's so funny that she would get the voice. I get.

530
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:14,399
Speaker 2: But who's giving you feedback about your breasts now? Before

531
00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:19,399
Speaker 2: any on the sheet. Let's put context. This is twenty

532
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 2: or so years ago, so I think you could say

533
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:24,760
Speaker 2: that without people going, oh, you can't say that. So

534
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:27,040
Speaker 2: the world is a little bit more politically correct now.

535
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:30,080
Speaker 2: But she did a beautiful introduction and then just took

536
00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:33,119
Speaker 2: away from any distraction from her presentation. And she's a

537
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:33,960
Speaker 2: wonderful presenter.

538
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:37,080
Speaker 1: Now i'd be doing you and me and this service

539
00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:39,520
Speaker 1: if I didn't talk about the fact that for our

540
00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:42,600
Speaker 1: listeners that were coming towards the end of the year.

541
00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:46,439
Speaker 1: I think we spoke about that in our first unrecorded

542
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:51,560
Speaker 1: attempt of this show, and so I guess I want

543
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:54,480
Speaker 1: to just hear your thoughts and ideas and perhaps strategies

544
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:59,960
Speaker 1: for our listeners who are thinking about, you know, reflecting

545
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:03,080
Speaker 1: on the year that was planning potentially for the year

546
00:28:03,119 --> 00:28:07,000
Speaker 1: to come. And you know, we know different things work

547
00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:09,960
Speaker 1: for different people. There's no five step fucking plan that's

548
00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:13,800
Speaker 1: universally brilliant. But what do you want to tell our

549
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:18,359
Speaker 1: listeners that are you know, thinking about the next kind

550
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:20,760
Speaker 1: of twelve months on planet them?

551
00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:23,199
Speaker 2: Let's start with Charles Dickens. So I want to try

552
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:24,960
Speaker 2: and sound a lot smarter than I am, harp. So

553
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:28,280
Speaker 2: I've got a Charles Dickens, quite reflect upon your blessings,

554
00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:30,600
Speaker 2: of which every man and woman has plenty, not on

555
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 2: your last misfortunes, of which we all have some.

556
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:36,760
Speaker 1: For years.

557
00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:38,560
Speaker 2: I'd get to this time with you and go right,

558
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:40,600
Speaker 2: and I'm going to have a holiday freshen up and

559
00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:42,880
Speaker 2: my goals are this year I'm gonna And for a

560
00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:44,840
Speaker 2: lot of people it's the same thing year after year.

561
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:47,920
Speaker 2: Get fit, lose weight, stop smoking, learned French, spend all

562
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:49,920
Speaker 2: the time with the kids. And we know fifty percent

563
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:53,200
Speaker 2: of goals after two weeks are thrown out. By the

564
00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:55,120
Speaker 2: end of January it's eighty to eighty five percent I've

565
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 2: thrown out a couple of years ago. I started doing

566
00:28:57,360 --> 00:28:59,239
Speaker 2: this with a few clients and they thought, jeez, this

567
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:01,680
Speaker 2: is really good. Let's look in the rearview mirror and

568
00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:03,600
Speaker 2: how have you gone this year? So, no matter how

569
00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:06,160
Speaker 2: tired you are, just to spend a bit of time.

570
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:07,800
Speaker 2: I'll send you the worksheet. You can put that on

571
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:09,560
Speaker 2: your show notes so people can download it. So I've

572
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:12,400
Speaker 2: just got a little sheety review mirror, the review mirror

573
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:17,240
Speaker 2: likeble and there's eight areas. So why don't we pick

574
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:18,360
Speaker 2: one or two of these? You and I can do

575
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:20,560
Speaker 2: it together as well. So the eight areas are you

576
00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:24,440
Speaker 2: reflect on how have you gone on your work slash career?

577
00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:27,400
Speaker 2: How have you gone around learning and development?

578
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:28,240
Speaker 1: So what have.

579
00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:31,480
Speaker 2: You learned and grown? And it's not just work related,

580
00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:34,160
Speaker 2: how are you going with your finances? And I find

581
00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:36,880
Speaker 2: those first two really lead to better finances if you're

582
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:40,440
Speaker 2: focusing on it. How are you going with community and spirituality?

583
00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:44,480
Speaker 2: And spirituality I don't mean just religion, but spirituality that

584
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:48,360
Speaker 2: you're connected to a purpose or other things greater than you.

585
00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:54,280
Speaker 2: Health and fitness, family and relationships. And I've added too,

586
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:56,240
Speaker 2: So they're the six that you see a lot of these.

587
00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:59,000
Speaker 2: You know you'd look at the goal wheel. So work slash, career,

588
00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:03,480
Speaker 2: L and D, financewers, community, health and fitness, and relationships.

589
00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:07,680
Speaker 2: I've added passion and play. All of us have a

590
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:10,400
Speaker 2: little kid inside, and so often you get the end

591
00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:11,960
Speaker 2: of the year and if it's been all work, no

592
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:17,479
Speaker 2: play makes people very dull. And I've added recovery because

593
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:19,360
Speaker 2: I just can't help it in the work that I do.

594
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:22,000
Speaker 2: Very similar to you. Stress is awesome, but you've got

595
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,160
Speaker 2: to build in a recovery strategy. So they're the eight.

596
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:25,360
Speaker 1: And what I get.

597
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:28,040
Speaker 2: Everyone to do is just to give yourself a subjective

598
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:31,240
Speaker 2: ranking on it. And then if you've got that friend

599
00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:34,440
Speaker 2: that we're talking about, that trust and psychological safety, I

600
00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:36,880
Speaker 2: reckon get them to do it independently and then match

601
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:39,920
Speaker 2: the sheets together. So just go zero to ten on

602
00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:43,360
Speaker 2: each of those eight areas where are you at? So

603
00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:48,320
Speaker 2: let's pick one, Harps, you can do one, and then

604
00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:51,520
Speaker 2: maybe you can flip it on me. And then rather

605
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:54,360
Speaker 2: than just giving yourself a number, okay, do that, but

606
00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:57,280
Speaker 2: then put four or five bullet points underneath each one,

607
00:30:57,960 --> 00:31:01,200
Speaker 2: and again the focus on this for everyone looking back

608
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:03,920
Speaker 2: in the rearview mirror. What has worked? Don't don't do

609
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:05,760
Speaker 2: the hay, I need to work on this. It's hey,

610
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:08,640
Speaker 2: what are you really proud of? Or what have you achieved?

611
00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:14,320
Speaker 1: All right, So I'm going to go I'm going to

612
00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:18,200
Speaker 1: pick I could you pick one for me? You pick

613
00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:21,800
Speaker 1: one for me? Because I feel like, because whatever, I

614
00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:27,040
Speaker 1: could pick any of those and I've still got work

615
00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:27,200
Speaker 1: to do.

616
00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:30,320
Speaker 2: I'm going to pick a random one because it's easy

617
00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:31,959
Speaker 2: to go, work and L and D because I know

618
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,640
Speaker 2: a lot about that. What what do you do for hobbies?

619
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:36,120
Speaker 2: Passions and play? So let's go.

620
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:41,200
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, yeah, great, So you want me to start

621
00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:41,480
Speaker 1: or no?

622
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:43,920
Speaker 2: Yeah? So give yourself a score first of all out

623
00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:44,200
Speaker 2: of ten.

624
00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:46,240
Speaker 1: So I'm going to give myself an eight, which is

625
00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:50,640
Speaker 1: very braggy, make brag start, but can I can I

626
00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:53,000
Speaker 1: give you my all right? So I'm going to give you.

627
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:57,400
Speaker 1: I reckon this is the trickiest one. Community and spirituality.

628
00:31:57,480 --> 00:32:01,000
Speaker 1: That's what I'm giving you, done right right, So for me,

629
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:03,520
Speaker 1: I'm going to start right so passion and play. I

630
00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:06,400
Speaker 1: talk about this a lot. I talk about strategic fun,

631
00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:10,160
Speaker 1: which sounds unfun, but you know, one of the things

632
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:12,800
Speaker 1: I ask people when I'm coaching, which especially when you're

633
00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:14,640
Speaker 1: coaching a fifty year old bloke, can you go, so,

634
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:16,480
Speaker 1: do you like having fun? And they look at you

635
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:19,840
Speaker 1: like You've just asked them the stupidest thing of all time,

636
00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:24,320
Speaker 1: and they go, what do you mean? I go, fucking

637
00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:27,160
Speaker 1: do you like fun? Do you like laughing at silly?

638
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:30,120
Speaker 1: Do you like fun? And laughed? Yeah, I'm like cool,

639
00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:32,920
Speaker 1: So what's your fun plan or strategy? They're like what,

640
00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:36,320
Speaker 1: I'm like, what's your So you've got a business plan,

641
00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:38,320
Speaker 1: you've got a health plan, you've got a fucking career plan?

642
00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:41,120
Speaker 1: You got I go, tell me about fun? And it's

643
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:44,240
Speaker 1: like there's no real So I like and not that

644
00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:48,480
Speaker 1: it needs to be, you know, fucking operationalized on a

645
00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:51,080
Speaker 1: daily basis with it. I'm laughing at ten and I'm

646
00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:54,640
Speaker 1: laughing at twelve, and I'm laughing at two, but just

647
00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:58,400
Speaker 1: so that we're perhaps integrating stuff into our day to day,

648
00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:02,400
Speaker 1: which is there's no point to it other than fucking fun.

649
00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:06,160
Speaker 1: There not creating any measurable outcome. It's not about a

650
00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:10,560
Speaker 1: KPI or you know, maybe the KPI's laughter. Maybe the

651
00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:13,680
Speaker 1: KPI is dopamine. Maybe the KPI is fucking getting a

652
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:16,480
Speaker 1: cuddle or playing with your dog or you know. So

653
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:18,480
Speaker 1: every day I train with one of my best mates,

654
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:21,560
Speaker 1: and that's not some days. That's three hundred and sixty

655
00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:23,280
Speaker 1: five days of the year unless one of us is

656
00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:27,320
Speaker 1: away seven days a week. Unless someone's away every day,

657
00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:30,760
Speaker 1: that's amazing every day, every day. So we would probably

658
00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:33,400
Speaker 1: see each other because I travel a bit, he does

659
00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:37,000
Speaker 1: a bit, but I'd probably see him three hundred and

660
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:40,520
Speaker 1: twenty days a year. And I would say our training

661
00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:46,120
Speaker 1: to talking shit ratio is thirty seventy. Right, So we

662
00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:50,280
Speaker 1: talk shit, we have fun, we hang out, we spot

663
00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:52,920
Speaker 1: each other, We talk about the fucking meaning of life

664
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:56,000
Speaker 1: and silly shit. He sends me fucking ten videos a

665
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:59,480
Speaker 1: day that I wouldn't want to watch, right, I did

666
00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:02,880
Speaker 1: that today already I trained with another friend as well.

667
00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:04,880
Speaker 1: I rode my motorbike to the gym. I've got a

668
00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:06,760
Speaker 1: bunch of bikes. I rode one of my bikes to

669
00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:11,080
Speaker 1: the gym, which for me is fun. And because I

670
00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:13,279
Speaker 1: live eight hundred meters from the beach, I walk to

671
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:17,400
Speaker 1: the beach every day and I I just it's just

672
00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:20,279
Speaker 1: me time, and it's it's not fun per se, but

673
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:23,440
Speaker 1: it's it's I guess that kind of morphs into recovery.

674
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:28,279
Speaker 1: But for me just having because I'm like you, my

675
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:33,200
Speaker 1: life is intense. I'm with a lot of people, like

676
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:36,759
Speaker 1: I told you today, I'm doing three three podcasts. I've

677
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:40,759
Speaker 1: had meetings, I've had UNI stuff. I've had coaching a

678
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:45,600
Speaker 1: couple of people, which is very cognitively intense where this

679
00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:48,759
Speaker 1: is not, and some people with some real issues. So

680
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:51,400
Speaker 1: me being a fuck wit and funny isn't appropriate. So

681
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:53,840
Speaker 1: you've got to put on the serious hat and be

682
00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:56,840
Speaker 1: a proper grown up, you know. And then so I

683
00:34:56,920 --> 00:34:58,879
Speaker 1: might have eight or nine or ten hours a day

684
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:02,759
Speaker 1: some days which have very intense and very very cognitively

685
00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:07,279
Speaker 1: and emotionally expensive, but I need to offset that with

686
00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:12,040
Speaker 1: some complete bullshit. So and I'm really good at doing that.

687
00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:14,040
Speaker 1: I don't and I don't say I'm good at many

688
00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:17,120
Speaker 1: things because I am not. But that the proof of

689
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:20,720
Speaker 1: that is that I rarely get stressed or anxious, like rarely.

690
00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:25,319
Speaker 1: I sleep like a fucking champion, don't get sick, I

691
00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:30,520
Speaker 1: don't get sick much much would But yeah, I don't

692
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:35,360
Speaker 1: get sick much. I don't feel anxiety. I don't feel stressed.

693
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:40,000
Speaker 1: And I think that's part of just like I've been

694
00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:44,600
Speaker 1: choosing hardship for forty years because I've said this to

695
00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:47,960
Speaker 1: maybe you before, but I've definitely said it twenty times

696
00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:50,680
Speaker 1: on this show. Because when I was growing up, mate,

697
00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:53,279
Speaker 1: I wasn't super fucking great at anything. Like all my

698
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:56,920
Speaker 1: friends were either great athletes or great academics or great this,

699
00:35:57,200 --> 00:36:00,160
Speaker 1: great creatives or great whatever. I wasn't in it any

700
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:02,719
Speaker 1: of those groups. I was like mister five out of

701
00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:06,480
Speaker 1: ten and everything. And so for me, my mediocrity became

702
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:10,880
Speaker 1: my platform to resilience and strength and work ethic and grinding,

703
00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:16,400
Speaker 1: and then that became my superpower, like just my ability

704
00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:19,920
Speaker 1: to keep going like that that's kind of set me up.

705
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:23,840
Speaker 1: So that's so I think things that would stress. I

706
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:26,800
Speaker 1: spoke about this the other day, like when my gym,

707
00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:29,120
Speaker 1: when the guy was talking about that. I trained today

708
00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:32,000
Speaker 1: I think you know the story. He died five years

709
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:32,799
Speaker 1: ago at the gym.

710
00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:34,840
Speaker 2: Do you know that story had a heart attack.

711
00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:37,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, so he had. He actually had a cardiac

712
00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:40,319
Speaker 1: arress so his hearts. There was no heart attack per se,

713
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:45,279
Speaker 1: but his art, of course stopped beating. And I don't

714
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:46,680
Speaker 1: know why, but in the middle of that, I was

715
00:36:46,719 --> 00:36:49,920
Speaker 1: completely calm, and everyone else in the gym was freaked

716
00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:53,560
Speaker 1: the fuck out. Nobody would help, nobody would come, and

717
00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:56,680
Speaker 1: I don't know why, but for whatever reason, I'm very thankful.

718
00:36:57,360 --> 00:36:59,879
Speaker 1: I don't really get stressed very much.

719
00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:04,120
Speaker 2: You know, it's relative because you've stressed yourself a lot.

720
00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:08,760
Speaker 2: That's called resistance training, it's called presenting, it's called starting

721
00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:13,319
Speaker 2: multiple podcasts, it's called starting a heap of businesses. The

722
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:15,440
Speaker 2: biggest misknowment of people go, I need to get rid

723
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:17,160
Speaker 2: of stress in my life. No, you don't. You need

724
00:37:17,239 --> 00:37:20,839
Speaker 2: to have short, sharp, regular hits of stress, and then

725
00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:24,279
Speaker 2: you need to downregulate and chill the fudge out physically

726
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:27,080
Speaker 2: and psychologically. And that's how you get your growth. And

727
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:29,640
Speaker 2: it's not just growth in the gym, it's growth cognitively,

728
00:37:29,719 --> 00:37:33,319
Speaker 2: growth in your relationships. Like I heard someone say recently, oh, Yeah,

729
00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:35,719
Speaker 2: there's stress in our relationship with God. If you've got kids,

730
00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:38,399
Speaker 2: you've got a partner, you're trying to function in your

731
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:40,680
Speaker 2: head let alone someone else's. There's always going to be stress.

732
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:43,239
Speaker 1: Well what's the drop? So you know what?

733
00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:45,520
Speaker 2: I love asking you that question on the spot. I

734
00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:48,400
Speaker 2: didn't send you this this list before. You just go

735
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:52,120
Speaker 2: on bang bang bang bang bang. So you build hobbies,

736
00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:55,920
Speaker 2: passion play into your life, and you've obviously worked out

737
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:57,919
Speaker 2: a way to do what you do and a bang

738
00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:02,120
Speaker 2: out three hundred podcast in a year, crazy mofo, because

739
00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:04,239
Speaker 2: you've got a way to down regulate. So I've got

740
00:38:04,239 --> 00:38:06,640
Speaker 2: one other question on that, and this is this is

741
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:09,440
Speaker 2: for the learning for your audience as well. How did

742
00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:13,520
Speaker 2: you feel when you rattled off your answer on that

743
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:16,520
Speaker 2: eight out of ten all those areas So in that

744
00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:19,360
Speaker 2: process of self reflecting, get a bit better on me.

745
00:38:20,360 --> 00:38:23,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel content. I don't feel like there's no

746
00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:27,880
Speaker 1: arrogance orry ego in that I'm I'm quietly like for me.

747
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:31,520
Speaker 1: Of course, I know that I'm not objective, but I

748
00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:35,520
Speaker 1: think I am pretty good in terms of self assessment.

749
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:38,799
Speaker 1: I've spent five years studying it as my PhD and

750
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:42,840
Speaker 1: other things but i'm you know, when I do a gig,

751
00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:45,560
Speaker 1: I finished the gig, and I'll talk to Melissa, who

752
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:47,680
Speaker 1: runs my life, and she'll go, how was it? And

753
00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:50,399
Speaker 1: I'll literally give her a number, and it's an out

754
00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:53,320
Speaker 1: of ten assessment. And if I've crushed, it might be

755
00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:56,040
Speaker 1: an eight and a half or a nine, or if

756
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:58,680
Speaker 1: I was dog shit, which I'm not too often dogshit

757
00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:01,200
Speaker 1: these days, but it could be a four. But if

758
00:39:01,239 --> 00:39:04,160
Speaker 1: I was just like okay, but I wasn't super happy,

759
00:39:04,239 --> 00:39:08,319
Speaker 1: it'll be a six, you know. And so that when

760
00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:10,200
Speaker 1: I say I'm an eight or an eight and a

761
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:12,919
Speaker 1: half in this, there's no real arrogance attached to that.

762
00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:17,920
Speaker 1: That's just my my experience of it. But there are

763
00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:21,440
Speaker 1: other things on that list that I wouldn't give myself

764
00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:21,960
Speaker 1: that score.

765
00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:24,719
Speaker 2: Side note, I'm going to start giving myself a score

766
00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:27,200
Speaker 2: out of ten. Every presentation that's a that's a gold one.

767
00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:29,560
Speaker 2: So pick one or two others where you don't score

768
00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:29,919
Speaker 2: as well.

769
00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:40,319
Speaker 1: I would say, not work, but more business development, like

770
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:47,759
Speaker 1: I am, I'm shit at I'm shit at business development.

771
00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:52,719
Speaker 1: I just because like I don't I'm not driven to

772
00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:55,520
Speaker 1: make lots of go I make good money anyway, and

773
00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:58,439
Speaker 1: I'm very grateful and there's no ego in that. It's

774
00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:00,799
Speaker 1: like and for a long time I didn't make a

775
00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:03,920
Speaker 1: lot of dough and then I ended up with personal

776
00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:07,920
Speaker 1: training centers that was more just great timing than great

777
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:12,720
Speaker 1: business skills because I literally had the only one in Australia. Right,

778
00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:15,359
Speaker 1: So if you've got the only one of something, then

779
00:40:15,440 --> 00:40:18,160
Speaker 1: you fail. You're fucking terrible. Right. So you remind me

780
00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:22,120
Speaker 1: of Frank Walker National Tiles. If all you do is tiles.

781
00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:28,239
Speaker 2: He's a billionaire. Frank Walker, is he? Yeah, he's literally

782
00:40:28,239 --> 00:40:31,200
Speaker 2: a billionaire. We're trying to get into conference entrepreneur conference

783
00:40:31,239 --> 00:40:34,160
Speaker 2: I'm involved in, and yeah, they said to me he

784
00:40:34,239 --> 00:40:37,960
Speaker 2: is literally he's cleaned up and that's not his voice.

785
00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:40,880
Speaker 2: He did his first radio ad. It's like it's Frank Walker.

786
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:42,760
Speaker 2: I said, no, I just got to be something different.

787
00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:46,520
Speaker 2: So it's like Frank Walker National Tiles apparently speaks nothing

788
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:48,600
Speaker 2: like it. It was just a caricature they created with the

789
00:40:48,719 --> 00:40:49,280
Speaker 2: radio station.

790
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:51,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's interesting.

791
00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:52,719
Speaker 2: Sorry, I digress.

792
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:57,160
Speaker 1: I just think for me, like business development all that stuff,

793
00:40:57,360 --> 00:41:00,920
Speaker 1: like I end up like this. This is I mean,

794
00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:06,160
Speaker 1: this is a very little example. I shouldn't even say

795
00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:08,560
Speaker 1: this but fuck it, I'll throw myself under the bus.

796
00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:11,839
Speaker 1: So yesterday I coached this lady who for her to

797
00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:14,080
Speaker 1: be coached by me is not easy, it's not cheap.

798
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:21,680
Speaker 1: So she'd I guess saved or whatever it's like, and

799
00:41:21,719 --> 00:41:24,080
Speaker 1: booked in a session with me. And I did a

800
00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:28,160
Speaker 1: session with her, and it was good, it was productive,

801
00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:30,440
Speaker 1: she enjoyed it. But we got to the end of

802
00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:32,480
Speaker 1: the time, we got to the end of the hour,

803
00:41:33,719 --> 00:41:37,720
Speaker 1: and she's just there was so much more to go through.

804
00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:40,200
Speaker 1: And I knew that it would take her another you

805
00:41:40,239 --> 00:41:43,239
Speaker 1: know whatever, that she couldn't afford another session next week

806
00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:47,759
Speaker 1: or probably next month. And she was crying and it

807
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:50,479
Speaker 1: was like it was very emotional. But I knew that

808
00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:52,880
Speaker 1: I'm one of the few people in the world I

809
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:56,360
Speaker 1: guess that she felt comfortable to just because she trusts me.

810
00:41:56,480 --> 00:41:59,320
Speaker 1: But we're not friends. She trusts me, but we're not family.

811
00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:03,480
Speaker 1: Going to share anything that she shared, right, so it's

812
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:07,120
Speaker 1: a safe space. And she was just open and vulnerable

813
00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:12,000
Speaker 1: and honest and a little bit fractured. And I couldn't, Andrew,

814
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:16,680
Speaker 1: I couldn't go. Her name's not Donna, but I couldn't go. Okay, Donna, Well,

815
00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:20,239
Speaker 1: time's up. Have a great life, you know, all the

816
00:42:20,280 --> 00:42:23,120
Speaker 1: best over an now, Craig Harper, you would.

817
00:42:22,920 --> 00:42:25,400
Speaker 2: Be there do it. You would have been there hour knowing.

818
00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:27,760
Speaker 1: You No, no, I can't. And I had an appointment.

819
00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:32,359
Speaker 1: I said, all right, I said, this is what I

820
00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:34,880
Speaker 1: want you to do. I said, January. First week in January,

821
00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:39,520
Speaker 1: send me an update, tell me what's going on. I

822
00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:41,600
Speaker 1: gave him my phone number, which is a big no, no,

823
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:44,120
Speaker 1: you don't fucking do that. I gave him my phone number.

824
00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:46,799
Speaker 1: I said, send me an SMS. I said, don't be

825
00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:49,600
Speaker 1: the crazy person who rings me at night drunk. Don't

826
00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:52,400
Speaker 1: don't do that or just block you, but send me

827
00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:55,200
Speaker 1: a message. And I said, a day or two after that,

828
00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:57,160
Speaker 1: we'll do another one of these. And she's like, oh,

829
00:42:57,239 --> 00:43:00,360
Speaker 1: but I go no cost, And she's like, really, you

830
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:03,359
Speaker 1: know so and I know that's not a big deal,

831
00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:07,360
Speaker 1: but I I you know, I for me, it's a

832
00:43:07,360 --> 00:43:09,400
Speaker 1: real dichotomy. I know I've got to make money. I

833
00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:11,759
Speaker 1: know I've got to build a business and brand. Could

834
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:15,120
Speaker 1: I fucking I can't say well, I can say no

835
00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:20,200
Speaker 1: because I have to. But yeah, so sometimes I'm I'm

836
00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:24,400
Speaker 1: probably less entrepreneurial than actually serves me from a business sense,

837
00:43:24,440 --> 00:43:27,840
Speaker 1: but in terms of my my values and my internal

838
00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:29,560
Speaker 1: sat nav, I'm pretty comfortable with it.

839
00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:34,480
Speaker 2: Can I dig into that a little bit? Yeah, when

840
00:43:34,520 --> 00:43:39,520
Speaker 2: I heard you talk about inadverted Cooma's Donna, that's that's

841
00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:41,760
Speaker 2: the right thing to do. I do Similarly, you don't

842
00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:45,480
Speaker 2: coach and teach and open studios and work with sport.

843
00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:49,279
Speaker 2: We've had a similar career trajectory. You've had much much

844
00:43:49,320 --> 00:43:53,040
Speaker 2: bigger businesses and personal training. But we like people, so

845
00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:55,759
Speaker 2: we're not assholes. But there's a little bit of that

846
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:58,920
Speaker 2: where I go, Okay, let's tease out, because dichotomis thinking

847
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:01,720
Speaker 2: is I've got to be nice and I can't make money.

848
00:44:02,120 --> 00:44:05,440
Speaker 2: So it's not either or Either I'm really nice to Donna,

849
00:44:05,960 --> 00:44:08,000
Speaker 2: or I'm a capitalist pig and I'm an asshole and

850
00:44:08,040 --> 00:44:09,880
Speaker 2: I drive around get picked up in a Bentley and

851
00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:11,680
Speaker 2: I hyphenate the surname.

852
00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:17,000
Speaker 1: Harper Smith. That's a great half A smile.

853
00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:21,160
Speaker 2: Smile is much better. So to me, it would be

854
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:24,040
Speaker 2: not either or, it's and so how can I help Donna?

855
00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:26,640
Speaker 2: And so if you're saying on your BD your business

856
00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:30,000
Speaker 2: development is not as great. You are great at storytelling,

857
00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:32,319
Speaker 2: You're great at building a tribe in a community. You

858
00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:35,319
Speaker 2: are great at having authentic, open conversations. You know, I'm

859
00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:38,160
Speaker 2: one of many regulars who come on and have learned

860
00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:40,000
Speaker 2: a lot, and we want to drink the harps kool

861
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:43,799
Speaker 2: aid as well as be ourselves. But how do you

862
00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:46,560
Speaker 2: get out of your own way? That would be my thoughts, mate,

863
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:48,680
Speaker 2: Like there's a U two song I love, get out

864
00:44:48,719 --> 00:44:50,680
Speaker 2: of your own way? How do you do what you

865
00:44:50,719 --> 00:44:52,360
Speaker 2: do best? And then maybe get someone to come in

866
00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:55,360
Speaker 2: and be your business development manager and go turn this

867
00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:59,880
Speaker 2: shit upside down, treat me as a product, and just

868
00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:00,799
Speaker 2: commodetize it.

869
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:04,080
Speaker 1: This is what I'm like. If I've got I've got

870
00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:07,920
Speaker 1: a workshop, like I did a workshop this week, two nights,

871
00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:10,160
Speaker 1: three nights ago, Tuesday, and I don't know, fuck Tuesday

872
00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:14,000
Speaker 1: or Wednesday anyway, Wednesday night, I did a workshop, so

873
00:45:14,080 --> 00:45:16,920
Speaker 1: two nights ago. And this is how bad I am.

874
00:45:17,239 --> 00:45:20,439
Speaker 1: I've got a bunch of things coming up. I don't

875
00:45:20,440 --> 00:45:22,319
Speaker 1: want to talk about those things that I've got coming

876
00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:23,799
Speaker 1: up to the group because I don't want to look

877
00:45:23,840 --> 00:45:26,480
Speaker 1: like I'm selling them anything I don't want to be.

878
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:29,839
Speaker 1: I don't want to. I don't want them to think

879
00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:33,959
Speaker 1: that I ran this cheap workshop which was twenty seven

880
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:38,160
Speaker 1: dollars fifty or twenty seven bucks to the general public online,

881
00:45:38,280 --> 00:45:40,680
Speaker 1: so it was online. I didn't want them to think

882
00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:42,640
Speaker 1: that this was a carrot to get him in the door.

883
00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:46,440
Speaker 1: And look now that you hear everybody, but ah, you

884
00:45:46,480 --> 00:45:49,719
Speaker 1: know which it wasn't that. But I hate that, like

885
00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:52,880
Speaker 1: that makes my skin crawl. And so it wasn't that.

886
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:54,200
Speaker 1: It wasn't that.

887
00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:58,400
Speaker 2: And do you believe that you help other people genuinely

888
00:45:58,480 --> 00:46:01,960
Speaker 2: to improve their lives? I think.

889
00:46:03,280 --> 00:46:07,040
Speaker 1: I do, but I don't know, Andrew, I have.

890
00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:13,560
Speaker 2: This do you get regular feedback run with me? And yeah,

891
00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:18,120
Speaker 2: I just I feel like the psychologist and something about

892
00:46:18,120 --> 00:46:22,080
Speaker 2: mary Ll But there she goes time she's up. Let's

893
00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:26,480
Speaker 2: delve into that one next time? Shall we just putting

894
00:46:26,480 --> 00:46:29,279
Speaker 2: on that thread? And I know it's your podcast and

895
00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:31,839
Speaker 2: I'll go back to being the guest at the moment,

896
00:46:31,880 --> 00:46:33,880
Speaker 2: otherwise I'll never be a guest on your poty again.

897
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:36,960
Speaker 2: But it's interesting in this activity and even that that's

898
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:40,160
Speaker 2: a great example for your listener. Just even that question

899
00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:43,000
Speaker 2: on self reflection on working career, Yeah, what is it

900
00:46:43,040 --> 00:46:46,080
Speaker 2: around business development? Tease that out a little bit. There's

901
00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:48,680
Speaker 2: a real opportunity for you to get someone to come

902
00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:51,520
Speaker 2: in and do it authentically. And even if you're like that,

903
00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:53,640
Speaker 2: you could just sort of step aside, go I don't

904
00:46:53,680 --> 00:46:56,319
Speaker 2: like the money stuff. Say here's Cheryl. Cheryl comes out

905
00:46:56,360 --> 00:46:58,560
Speaker 2: and goes, hey, Harps has got a program on. We're

906
00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:01,319
Speaker 2: at moraban two weeks time. We're going to do all

907
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:03,520
Speaker 2: this stuff. Come and see me after. It's only five

908
00:47:03,600 --> 00:47:06,240
Speaker 2: hundred bucks. Yeah, change your life.

909
00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:09,320
Speaker 1: Look, you're right, you're right. I mean, I just I

910
00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:13,560
Speaker 1: have I tell you what makes my skin crawl. People

911
00:47:13,640 --> 00:47:18,480
Speaker 1: who present themselves as the answer, like, I fucking hate

912
00:47:18,480 --> 00:47:23,040
Speaker 1: that so much. And people who say this is going

913
00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:24,960
Speaker 1: to piss off a few people because a few people

914
00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:28,279
Speaker 1: that listen to me do this. Oh ah, well fuck it.

915
00:47:29,040 --> 00:47:32,080
Speaker 1: They say, I change lives. Like, no, you don't, bro,

916
00:47:32,560 --> 00:47:36,760
Speaker 1: No you don't. Maybe some people change their life because

917
00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:39,680
Speaker 1: you said something that was of value and well done,

918
00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:42,319
Speaker 1: and maybe you were a tool or a resource or

919
00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:43,040
Speaker 1: just a tool.

920
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:44,160
Speaker 2: I'd say, just a tool.

921
00:47:44,200 --> 00:47:46,800
Speaker 1: If you go it around saying like change lives, well,

922
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:49,359
Speaker 1: it's like, literally, I have a look on Instagram. There's

923
00:47:49,400 --> 00:47:52,000
Speaker 1: so many people who talk about how many thousands of

924
00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:55,200
Speaker 1: lives they've changed. I go, I've never changed one. The

925
00:47:55,239 --> 00:47:58,319
Speaker 1: only one I've changed is me. I can't get out

926
00:47:58,320 --> 00:48:00,600
Speaker 1: of bed for people. I can't have discipline and for people.

927
00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:03,600
Speaker 1: I can't make the decisions for people. I can't be

928
00:48:03,680 --> 00:48:06,760
Speaker 1: resilient for people. I can't be brave for people. They've

929
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:10,520
Speaker 1: got to do all that themselves. And if there's some

930
00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:15,200
Speaker 1: you know, kind of benefit from listening to me and

931
00:48:15,239 --> 00:48:19,319
Speaker 1: then they choose to turn that theory, because all I'm doing,

932
00:48:19,360 --> 00:48:22,319
Speaker 1: all you and me are doing right now, is espousing

933
00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:25,799
Speaker 1: ideas and words and theories. And if someone listens to

934
00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:28,719
Speaker 1: us and then they choose to go and make a

935
00:48:28,760 --> 00:48:31,440
Speaker 1: decision and do a thing and create shift and create

936
00:48:31,480 --> 00:48:35,400
Speaker 1: a positive outcome, will There'll be ninety nine people that haven't.

937
00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:39,480
Speaker 1: So neither of those are because of you and me,

938
00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:40,160
Speaker 1: you know.

939
00:48:41,040 --> 00:48:43,600
Speaker 2: Yeah. So I've got a couple of parallel thoughts I

940
00:48:43,640 --> 00:48:48,240
Speaker 2: want to stitch together and one random thought. You published

941
00:48:48,239 --> 00:48:51,200
Speaker 2: a bunch of books, my first book, which is called

942
00:48:51,480 --> 00:48:54,320
Speaker 2: Flip the Switch in New Zealand. Every time I was

943
00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:56,600
Speaker 2: doing a talk, Andre is a bestilling author of Flap

944
00:48:56,680 --> 00:48:59,000
Speaker 2: the Swatch, So I always kick about Flap the Swatch,

945
00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:03,360
Speaker 2: And I had books, and the company had bought one

946
00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:05,880
Speaker 2: hundred and fifty books for a bunch of bankers. And

947
00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:08,360
Speaker 2: this lady said, oh, we sign your book. And I

948
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:10,120
Speaker 2: made some sort of jokey you don't want me to

949
00:49:10,160 --> 00:49:11,840
Speaker 2: sign your book. It won't be worth anything when you

950
00:49:11,880 --> 00:49:13,960
Speaker 2: try and sell it, and she I bore me, and

951
00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:16,959
Speaker 2: she said, young man, why would you write a book

952
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:18,600
Speaker 2: if you're not proud to put your name on it?

953
00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:21,879
Speaker 2: And she grilled me. She said, is this book full

954
00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:24,600
Speaker 2: of good content? I said, absolutely? Has this book taken

955
00:49:24,640 --> 00:49:26,520
Speaker 2: you a long time to put together? It's probably ten

956
00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:29,360
Speaker 2: or fifteen years, she said, own it. And when someone

957
00:49:29,400 --> 00:49:32,799
Speaker 2: asked you to sign signed. From that moment, I got

958
00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:35,960
Speaker 2: out of my insecurity, my Phobo, few of other people's opinion,

959
00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:38,479
Speaker 2: my thoughts of my mates from Darbo, Mario, Ego, Dino

960
00:49:38,520 --> 00:49:40,719
Speaker 2: and Lapo. And you can't make this shit up. No,

961
00:49:41,040 --> 00:49:43,399
Speaker 2: it's a big head sign in books thinking he's a hero.

962
00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:47,360
Speaker 2: They're not there, she was, And it was like this

963
00:49:47,960 --> 00:49:51,960
Speaker 2: metaphorical slap. Why don't you own it? Now, let's stitch

964
00:49:51,960 --> 00:49:57,680
Speaker 2: that back together. Your content's awesome. What's your potential? Nina

965
00:49:57,760 --> 00:50:01,000
Speaker 2: James big tits and a squeaky voice, harps, love you

966
00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:05,120
Speaker 2: all coming along here today. You know, I'm a shit salesperson.

967
00:50:05,320 --> 00:50:07,279
Speaker 2: I'm horrible and I have people ask me all the

968
00:50:07,320 --> 00:50:09,240
Speaker 2: time and I don't do it anything. So step aside.

969
00:50:09,280 --> 00:50:10,520
Speaker 2: So if any of you would like to come to

970
00:50:10,560 --> 00:50:14,960
Speaker 2: the program, here's Bugsy. Bugsy's got something to say. You

971
00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:17,919
Speaker 2: totally do it authentically. You don't have to be there

972
00:50:17,920 --> 00:50:19,640
Speaker 2: in your teflon suit and your gold tooth.

973
00:50:23,920 --> 00:50:25,040
Speaker 1: But wait, there's more.

974
00:50:25,239 --> 00:50:28,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, so how do you reckon that could work?

975
00:50:29,040 --> 00:50:34,719
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, Look, you're right, you're right. I need to

976
00:50:34,840 --> 00:50:36,880
Speaker 1: I need to get better at that. I need to

977
00:50:36,880 --> 00:50:39,319
Speaker 1: get Look, we're going to wrap up, but before we do,

978
00:50:39,480 --> 00:50:44,080
Speaker 1: you need to unpack yours. So yours was a courtesy

979
00:50:44,120 --> 00:50:47,840
Speaker 1: of me telling you what it was, community and security spirture.

980
00:50:47,920 --> 00:50:51,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, before I wrap, can't help it? Go how powerful

981
00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:52,200
Speaker 2: is self reflection?

982
00:50:53,080 --> 00:50:53,560
Speaker 1: Amazing?

983
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:56,920
Speaker 2: Like just because we created the space and there's trust

984
00:50:57,040 --> 00:50:58,759
Speaker 2: and you went down the rabbit hole and then go

985
00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:01,799
Speaker 2: yeah yeah, well so your reflection as you run the year,

986
00:51:01,920 --> 00:51:04,600
Speaker 2: you could get Bugsy the gold tooth and test on

987
00:51:04,760 --> 00:51:08,920
Speaker 2: suit and you're going to make more money. It's not

988
00:51:08,960 --> 00:51:11,120
Speaker 2: for the money, but more differences, more impact.

989
00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:14,200
Speaker 1: All right, mine? Now, part of me wants to give

990
00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:15,919
Speaker 1: you a cuddle, and part of me wants to tell

991
00:51:15,920 --> 00:51:18,040
Speaker 1: you to fuck off. So you're welcome.

992
00:51:18,800 --> 00:51:20,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, so can we talk about the fuck off bit?

993
00:51:21,480 --> 00:51:25,000
Speaker 1: Ha ha, because you're making me deal with shit, you know,

994
00:51:25,040 --> 00:51:27,759
Speaker 1: but it's exactly what I need. Yeah, you're right. It's

995
00:51:27,840 --> 00:51:30,920
Speaker 1: like you are right, Like there's nothing that you're saying

996
00:51:31,160 --> 00:51:34,600
Speaker 1: about me in this moment that is not true. It is,

997
00:51:34,719 --> 00:51:37,680
Speaker 1: it is true. And I still like when I say

998
00:51:37,719 --> 00:51:41,480
Speaker 1: to people I'm still insecure, I'm not saying that because

999
00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:47,120
Speaker 1: that sounds humble, like that is true, you know, I know,

1000
00:51:47,600 --> 00:51:51,080
Speaker 1: you know. And there's this, as I've said before, there's

1001
00:51:51,120 --> 00:51:56,319
Speaker 1: this ability we humans have to feel inadequate while knowing, well,

1002
00:51:56,360 --> 00:51:59,719
Speaker 1: I'm not inadequate, but I feel inadequate, you know. So

1003
00:51:59,800 --> 00:52:04,480
Speaker 1: they can coexist, that emotional negative with that intellectual kind

1004
00:52:04,480 --> 00:52:07,440
Speaker 1: of positive, you know. And it's I mean, I don't

1005
00:52:07,480 --> 00:52:10,080
Speaker 1: know about you, but I still get up or before

1006
00:52:10,120 --> 00:52:12,319
Speaker 1: I get up, if I'm doing a big gig to

1007
00:52:12,360 --> 00:52:14,640
Speaker 1: a big audience, and there's still part of me that goes, well,

1008
00:52:14,680 --> 00:52:16,440
Speaker 1: today's the day you're going to fuck it up. It's

1009
00:52:16,480 --> 00:52:19,879
Speaker 1: all going to come undone today. Today, I'm like well,

1010
00:52:19,920 --> 00:52:24,120
Speaker 1: of course, you know, after seventeen million fucking gigs, this

1011
00:52:24,160 --> 00:52:26,280
Speaker 1: will be the shit one and this will be my demise.

1012
00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:30,120
Speaker 2: I think if you don't have it, it's that version

1013
00:52:30,160 --> 00:52:32,200
Speaker 2: of imposter syndrome I spoke to you about last time.

1014
00:52:32,200 --> 00:52:35,240
Speaker 2: If you don't have any imposter syndrome, you're a narcissistic asshole.

1015
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:38,840
Speaker 2: If you have too much imposter syndrome, it's stabilitating. And

1016
00:52:39,040 --> 00:52:40,520
Speaker 2: I get this every time I start with a new

1017
00:52:40,560 --> 00:52:42,319
Speaker 2: sporting team or a new exec team. I was with

1018
00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:45,120
Speaker 2: a big insurance group last week with I've bet the

1019
00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:48,200
Speaker 2: Ceobody's executive team. I walk in there every time I

1020
00:52:48,239 --> 00:52:50,560
Speaker 2: start one of these gigs and go, what do I

1021
00:52:50,600 --> 00:52:54,360
Speaker 2: know about insurance? What do I know about working in

1022
00:52:54,440 --> 00:52:56,560
Speaker 2: rugby union? What do I know about doing a podcast?

1023
00:52:56,800 --> 00:52:59,799
Speaker 2: But you want enough imposter syndrome that you're alive. It's

1024
00:52:59,800 --> 00:53:02,120
Speaker 2: like Locks and the Three Beers. This amount of imposter

1025
00:53:02,200 --> 00:53:06,040
Speaker 2: syndrambi is just right. And I think the wrestle with that,

1026
00:53:06,480 --> 00:53:09,640
Speaker 2: it's healthy, It's really healthy. And then so back to

1027
00:53:09,680 --> 00:53:14,279
Speaker 2: your question, mine was stopped deflecting. Mine was community and

1028
00:53:14,320 --> 00:53:17,800
Speaker 2: spirituality that you gave me. I've divided it because I

1029
00:53:17,840 --> 00:53:19,279
Speaker 2: think they are quite different in the answer. I'm going

1030
00:53:19,320 --> 00:53:21,200
Speaker 2: to give you a community. I've given myself an eight

1031
00:53:21,760 --> 00:53:26,560
Speaker 2: spirituality five the community. Back ten years ago, I was

1032
00:53:26,719 --> 00:53:28,560
Speaker 2: involved with Combank.

1033
00:53:29,200 --> 00:53:30,400
Speaker 1: I'd had a bike ride.

1034
00:53:30,160 --> 00:53:32,560
Speaker 2: For two years. We went from Sydney to Newcastle in

1035
00:53:32,600 --> 00:53:36,080
Speaker 2: the year two, which was twenty and twelve. Out of

1036
00:53:36,120 --> 00:53:38,719
Speaker 2: the twenty four people thirteen, so more than half way

1037
00:53:38,719 --> 00:53:41,560
Speaker 2: from Combank. Another guy i'd met, Quentin Boys, ragged me

1038
00:53:41,640 --> 00:53:43,239
Speaker 2: up a week after that said mate, can I join

1039
00:53:43,280 --> 00:53:45,360
Speaker 2: your bike ride next year? I said, why don't you

1040
00:53:45,360 --> 00:53:46,879
Speaker 2: sponsor it? He said, what do you mean? I said,

1041
00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:48,959
Speaker 2: you got a little bit more on your balance sheet

1042
00:53:48,960 --> 00:53:51,400
Speaker 2: a Combank than I do. My business back then was

1043
00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:54,960
Speaker 2: called the Performance Clinic. So we had a coffee put

1044
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:57,680
Speaker 2: an idea together we do a community ride to a

1045
00:53:57,719 --> 00:53:59,960
Speaker 2: three day ride. We took it to Matt Common, Matt

1046
00:54:00,160 --> 00:54:02,720
Speaker 2: now CEO at that stage he was running retail Bank.

1047
00:54:03,040 --> 00:54:04,719
Speaker 2: Matt said, look, I love the idea. We're looking at

1048
00:54:04,800 --> 00:54:07,959
Speaker 2: doing something for engagement community. He said, the biggest risk

1049
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:12,600
Speaker 2: though is safety. So mazy, you know, how do You're

1050
00:54:12,640 --> 00:54:14,120
Speaker 2: not going to be run through the small business so

1051
00:54:14,160 --> 00:54:17,839
Speaker 2: we need someone to work with just It was absolutely

1052
00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:20,520
Speaker 2: SERENDI but It's two weekends later. I was up visiting

1053
00:54:20,560 --> 00:54:23,440
Speaker 2: my mum and dad at Swansea outside Newcastle where they

1054
00:54:23,520 --> 00:54:25,799
Speaker 2: used to live. I'm in Cole's on a Saturday night

1055
00:54:25,800 --> 00:54:28,160
Speaker 2: and I run into Bruno Morel, the chairman of Tour

1056
00:54:28,239 --> 00:54:31,799
Speaker 2: to Qre Mazy Bruno in the Fruit and Ved section. Mate,

1057
00:54:31,800 --> 00:54:33,399
Speaker 2: what are you doing? I said, I'm seeing mom and dad.

1058
00:54:33,560 --> 00:54:34,160
Speaker 1: What are you doing?

1059
00:54:34,400 --> 00:54:36,759
Speaker 2: I've got a held a holiday house. He said, no way,

1060
00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:37,879
Speaker 2: do you bring your bike?

1061
00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:38,280
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1062
00:54:38,640 --> 00:54:41,000
Speaker 2: Went for a ride the following morning stitch together the

1063
00:54:41,040 --> 00:54:44,760
Speaker 2: idea went back to Matt Common said, yes, that's ten years.

1064
00:54:44,960 --> 00:54:46,239
Speaker 1: I go now.

1065
00:54:46,360 --> 00:54:48,719
Speaker 2: Can for Cancer is a three day bike ride. Every

1066
00:54:48,800 --> 00:54:52,000
Speaker 2: year they do half marathon walks every major city and

1067
00:54:52,040 --> 00:54:54,600
Speaker 2: they've got regional ones they can do online. They had

1068
00:54:54,600 --> 00:54:58,520
Speaker 2: a swim this year and also a team marathon. That

1069
00:54:58,600 --> 00:55:02,000
Speaker 2: little idea has now twenty million dollars that go straight

1070
00:55:02,040 --> 00:55:05,920
Speaker 2: towards two to Cure to help fund research for cancer breakthroughs.

1071
00:55:06,280 --> 00:55:07,719
Speaker 1: Wow, that's incredible.

1072
00:55:07,800 --> 00:55:09,680
Speaker 2: So when we had our ten year this year and

1073
00:55:09,760 --> 00:55:11,440
Speaker 2: out on the bike ride there are only four of

1074
00:55:11,480 --> 00:55:13,920
Speaker 2: us that have done all ten, I just went, I'm

1075
00:55:13,960 --> 00:55:16,600
Speaker 2: so proud of Combak because they get beaten up and

1076
00:55:16,719 --> 00:55:18,719
Speaker 2: I've been saying their so it's all about money in

1077
00:55:18,760 --> 00:55:21,279
Speaker 2: the banks, and this is something that they do that's

1078
00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:25,719
Speaker 2: literally impacted so many people, So twenty million dollars so

1079
00:55:26,400 --> 00:55:30,360
Speaker 2: on community, I feel like I really belong with that tribe,

1080
00:55:30,640 --> 00:55:34,319
Speaker 2: and I'm so proud of what that group and had

1081
00:55:34,400 --> 00:55:36,600
Speaker 2: part of the idea at the start, but to be

1082
00:55:36,640 --> 00:55:38,400
Speaker 2: there from the start and see where it's come now

1083
00:55:38,440 --> 00:55:41,960
Speaker 2: and how Combank have really made this. It's their biggest

1084
00:55:41,960 --> 00:55:45,160
Speaker 2: community activity and now what they're looking at and we're

1085
00:55:45,200 --> 00:55:47,480
Speaker 2: helping them behind the scenes on this because they've hit

1086
00:55:47,520 --> 00:55:49,799
Speaker 2: about seven thousand employees this year, seven and a half

1087
00:55:49,880 --> 00:55:52,920
Speaker 2: thousand employees. To go the next level, they're looking at

1088
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:55,879
Speaker 2: donating plasma to try and get fifteen thousand. So it's

1089
00:55:55,920 --> 00:55:58,719
Speaker 2: still the next evolution. So from a community point, I

1090
00:55:58,800 --> 00:56:03,160
Speaker 2: feel totally engaged with that. From a spirituality, a very

1091
00:56:03,239 --> 00:56:06,439
Speaker 2: good looking, very intelligent, very skillful dude that you put

1092
00:56:06,440 --> 00:56:09,759
Speaker 2: me in contact with, Josh Peterman, I interviewed Josh last week,

1093
00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:12,200
Speaker 2: So thanks for the connection, and Josh gave a very

1094
00:56:12,200 --> 00:56:15,440
Speaker 2: different view on spirituality. It's not about religion, but it's

1095
00:56:15,480 --> 00:56:18,640
Speaker 2: about that connectivity and how you connect with the world

1096
00:56:18,680 --> 00:56:22,879
Speaker 2: around you. So is Josh's frame. I need to work

1097
00:56:22,920 --> 00:56:25,000
Speaker 2: on that, to work on for me, And I make

1098
00:56:25,040 --> 00:56:28,560
Speaker 2: the excuse I've got four kids, run a business, do keynotes,

1099
00:56:28,600 --> 00:56:31,960
Speaker 2: work with a few sporting teams, love Chattna Harps. But

1100
00:56:32,040 --> 00:56:33,640
Speaker 2: it's an area that I'm going to do more work

1101
00:56:33,680 --> 00:56:39,600
Speaker 2: on as a reflection. Just is it going to church? No,

1102
00:56:40,520 --> 00:56:42,520
Speaker 2: I do go to church twice a year because mum's

1103
00:56:42,560 --> 00:56:45,920
Speaker 2: devastated if I don't. It's just more thinking about what

1104
00:56:46,200 --> 00:56:50,640
Speaker 2: else is out there? Yeah, exploring that I.

1105
00:56:50,600 --> 00:56:53,319
Speaker 1: Grew up in a very religious paradigm, as we've I

1106
00:56:53,360 --> 00:56:57,479
Speaker 1: think covered on. But for me, you know, the ever

1107
00:56:57,600 --> 00:57:03,759
Speaker 1: present theme in most it's some stage in most theological

1108
00:57:03,840 --> 00:57:08,640
Speaker 1: texts is love. And I just think that the way

1109
00:57:08,640 --> 00:57:11,440
Speaker 1: you treat people can be a form of you know,

1110
00:57:11,600 --> 00:57:14,600
Speaker 1: spiritual practice. How you are, how you show up in

1111
00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:18,160
Speaker 1: the world, how you love people, whatever that looks like.

1112
00:57:18,800 --> 00:57:21,440
Speaker 1: You know, how you connect, how you communicate, how you listen,

1113
00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:24,640
Speaker 1: how you care, how much empathy you have and express

1114
00:57:24,680 --> 00:57:29,360
Speaker 1: and not in a strategic sense because you're trying to

1115
00:57:29,440 --> 00:57:32,400
Speaker 1: be spiritual, but just because that's an expression of who

1116
00:57:32,440 --> 00:57:35,320
Speaker 1: you are and how you are. And you know, for me,

1117
00:57:35,600 --> 00:57:40,600
Speaker 1: a part of my spiritual expression is having a purpose

1118
00:57:40,640 --> 00:57:44,680
Speaker 1: bigger than me, because I am inherently selfish. So there's

1119
00:57:44,720 --> 00:57:47,720
Speaker 1: this model that I kind of developed out of a

1120
00:57:47,720 --> 00:57:51,120
Speaker 1: bunch of other models, but it starts with self reflection

1121
00:57:51,240 --> 00:57:54,560
Speaker 1: and self awareness, and number seven is self actualization and

1122
00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:58,360
Speaker 1: number eight is self transcendence, which is essentially just having

1123
00:57:58,360 --> 00:58:02,400
Speaker 1: a purpose bigger than you. So I think, yeah, I

1124
00:58:02,880 --> 00:58:05,360
Speaker 1: think you do it, mate. I think you're very kind

1125
00:58:05,400 --> 00:58:08,920
Speaker 1: and generous, and you're very plugged into people and also

1126
00:58:09,040 --> 00:58:15,120
Speaker 1: being like I think you can be. You know that

1127
00:58:15,480 --> 00:58:19,080
Speaker 1: I don't think kindness and love always needs to look

1128
00:58:19,120 --> 00:58:23,880
Speaker 1: all fluffy and more. You know, sometimes kindness is going

1129
00:58:23,960 --> 00:58:25,800
Speaker 1: Hey mate, I know you don't want to hear this,

1130
00:58:25,920 --> 00:58:27,520
Speaker 1: but this is what I think. And I know a

1131
00:58:27,560 --> 00:58:30,200
Speaker 1: fair bit about this stuff. And I'm telling you because

1132
00:58:30,280 --> 00:58:32,720
Speaker 1: I would love you to live twenty years longer than

1133
00:58:32,720 --> 00:58:34,919
Speaker 1: you're probably going to at this point in time.

1134
00:58:36,200 --> 00:58:39,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's interesting. I like how you flip the coaching and.

1135
00:58:40,560 --> 00:58:44,800
Speaker 1: I don't think it needs to be well, where's your DreamCatcher? Bro?

1136
00:58:44,920 --> 00:58:47,640
Speaker 1: Where are your fucking sandals? And it doesn't need to be.

1137
00:58:47,760 --> 00:58:52,400
Speaker 1: It doesn't like I you know that idea is not

1138
00:58:52,520 --> 00:58:55,680
Speaker 1: a bad idea, but I don't think that like I

1139
00:58:55,760 --> 00:59:00,840
Speaker 1: think that the I think if you can walk, can talk,

1140
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:04,720
Speaker 1: and live for the most part your values, and if

1141
00:59:04,760 --> 00:59:08,320
Speaker 1: your values part of them are rooted in love and

1142
00:59:08,400 --> 00:59:14,640
Speaker 1: kindness and generosity, and when appropriate selflessness go, that's just

1143
00:59:15,320 --> 00:59:19,360
Speaker 1: you know, that's you just being a conscious, aware, evolved,

1144
00:59:19,920 --> 00:59:24,080
Speaker 1: spiritual being, just walking around in a biological spacesuit.

1145
00:59:24,440 --> 00:59:27,400
Speaker 2: Two things on that. One is I'm totally on purpose.

1146
00:59:27,400 --> 00:59:29,600
Speaker 2: I've got a clear purpose, and we know the research

1147
00:59:29,640 --> 00:59:33,000
Speaker 2: on purpose, a clearly articulated personal purpose. It's got to

1148
00:59:33,040 --> 00:59:35,720
Speaker 2: be bigger than you, future focused and excite the living

1149
00:59:35,800 --> 00:59:38,400
Speaker 2: daylights out of it. So with work and sport, I'm

1150
00:59:38,440 --> 00:59:41,800
Speaker 2: totally on purpose. What I take out of what you've said,

1151
00:59:42,040 --> 00:59:44,280
Speaker 2: I need to build in more time. How ironic is

1152
00:59:44,320 --> 00:59:45,720
Speaker 2: this I'm getting on to say, Hey, we've all got

1153
00:59:45,720 --> 00:59:48,160
Speaker 2: to look in the review mirror my reflection on our reflection.

1154
00:59:48,760 --> 00:59:50,200
Speaker 2: I just need to spend a bit more time and

1155
00:59:50,240 --> 00:59:53,320
Speaker 2: create some space to think a bit more about the

1156
00:59:53,320 --> 00:59:54,280
Speaker 2: connectivity and.

1157
00:59:54,240 --> 00:59:57,800
Speaker 1: What is that? Yeah, yeah, like this is what I

1158
00:59:57,840 --> 01:00:02,160
Speaker 1: think about. Like right now, a whole lot of people

1159
01:00:02,160 --> 01:00:04,040
Speaker 1: are hearing you for the first time, and I know

1160
01:00:04,080 --> 01:00:06,280
Speaker 1: you're going to share this on your show. So there'll

1161
01:00:06,320 --> 01:00:07,960
Speaker 1: be some people who are hearing me for the first

1162
01:00:07,960 --> 01:00:11,440
Speaker 1: time and they can never ever hear you or me

1163
01:00:11,600 --> 01:00:15,240
Speaker 1: for the first time again, ever again. You know, there's

1164
01:00:15,280 --> 01:00:18,400
Speaker 1: only one first time. There's only one first impression, and

1165
01:00:18,440 --> 01:00:26,200
Speaker 1: without being manufactured and strategic, it's like when somebody it's

1166
01:00:26,280 --> 01:00:29,200
Speaker 1: like today, this is what I was thinking about, how

1167
01:00:29,240 --> 01:00:32,040
Speaker 1: a tiny thing for me can have a massive impact

1168
01:00:32,080 --> 01:00:35,640
Speaker 1: on someone else. Right. So, I don't know if we've

1169
01:00:35,640 --> 01:00:38,000
Speaker 1: shared it, because we started this podcast twice. I don't

1170
01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:43,000
Speaker 1: think we talked about Joe Ingles on this, but I

1171
01:00:43,320 --> 01:00:47,320
Speaker 1: interviewed Joe Ingles, who is an NBA player, and one

1172
01:00:47,360 --> 01:00:52,000
Speaker 1: of my friends their kid is a budding basketball or

1173
01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:54,640
Speaker 1: a young girl and names Indy Luski. Shout out to Indy,

1174
01:00:55,240 --> 01:00:57,240
Speaker 1: and she's twelve and she's in a state team and

1175
01:00:57,280 --> 01:00:59,440
Speaker 1: she's still a state team for football, and she's a

1176
01:00:59,480 --> 01:01:03,200
Speaker 1: fucking little superstar. Right. Sorry for saying fuck to her, mum,

1177
01:01:03,920 --> 01:01:05,960
Speaker 1: but I thought, how good would it be if I

1178
01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:09,720
Speaker 1: could get an NBA player, one of Australia's best ever

1179
01:01:10,360 --> 01:01:14,280
Speaker 1: basketball is a multiple time Olympian blah blah blah, to

1180
01:01:14,320 --> 01:01:16,960
Speaker 1: give a shout out to this little girl. And I

1181
01:01:17,000 --> 01:01:18,760
Speaker 1: said at the end we finished, I said, mate, I

1182
01:01:18,800 --> 01:01:20,840
Speaker 1: hate to be cheesy, it's not for me, but is

1183
01:01:20,880 --> 01:01:24,640
Speaker 1: there any chance? And he goes, of course, and so

1184
01:01:24,720 --> 01:01:27,080
Speaker 1: he goes, I'll just I'll just do it into my

1185
01:01:27,160 --> 01:01:29,400
Speaker 1: phone when we finish, and i'll send you the video.

1186
01:01:29,600 --> 01:01:33,840
Speaker 1: So he did this beautiful video where he goes, hey, Indy,

1187
01:01:34,200 --> 01:01:36,320
Speaker 1: you know it's Joe Ingles blah blah blah. You know,

1188
01:01:36,800 --> 01:01:39,040
Speaker 1: I hope you're great. I've heard about you. You're killing

1189
01:01:39,120 --> 01:01:42,600
Speaker 1: you know. And so it's thirty two seconds. I think now.

1190
01:01:42,640 --> 01:01:45,360
Speaker 1: It took him thirty two seconds, and it took me

1191
01:01:45,440 --> 01:01:47,479
Speaker 1: a bit of discomfort to ask him because I didn't

1192
01:01:47,480 --> 01:01:50,680
Speaker 1: want to fucking ask him. Well, it's just made her year,

1193
01:01:51,080 --> 01:01:53,600
Speaker 1: Like her mom like just was.

1194
01:01:53,600 --> 01:01:56,680
Speaker 2: Like, oh my good, best Christmas present you could possibly

1195
01:01:56,720 --> 01:01:58,200
Speaker 2: give a young girl who's in the sport.

1196
01:01:58,280 --> 01:02:01,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you know, and it's like, yeah, how good.

1197
01:02:01,400 --> 01:02:04,880
Speaker 1: And I just made me happy to make her happy,

1198
01:02:05,400 --> 01:02:09,880
Speaker 1: Like that almost gave me more joy than actually the podcast,

1199
01:02:09,920 --> 01:02:12,920
Speaker 1: and I love the podcast. He's great. But yeah, I

1200
01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:16,520
Speaker 1: think that, you know, I think that's how that that

1201
01:02:16,720 --> 01:02:20,480
Speaker 1: spiritual component to your life can operate. It doesn't need

1202
01:02:20,520 --> 01:02:24,960
Speaker 1: to be overtly fucking Dreamcatchery or caf Tanny or you know,

1203
01:02:25,080 --> 01:02:29,400
Speaker 1: it's like I don't. Yeah, And in fact, you know,

1204
01:02:29,480 --> 01:02:32,760
Speaker 1: the irony is that telling people that you are spiritual

1205
01:02:33,560 --> 01:02:40,840
Speaker 1: is fundamentally not spiritual because there's ego in that. You know,

1206
01:02:40,920 --> 01:02:44,360
Speaker 1: there's there's self in that. You know, there's like it's

1207
01:02:44,360 --> 01:02:46,520
Speaker 1: so such it's quite ironic.

1208
01:02:48,080 --> 01:02:50,040
Speaker 2: See, we've got deep, haven't we. We've reflected and.

1209
01:02:50,680 --> 01:02:51,640
Speaker 1: Haven't we look at us?

1210
01:02:51,760 --> 01:02:52,000
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1211
01:02:52,240 --> 01:02:54,400
Speaker 1: I just want to tell you that I love you, Andrew.

1212
01:02:54,400 --> 01:02:57,520
Speaker 1: And I just want to tell you, hey, mate, Tell

1213
01:02:57,680 --> 01:02:59,360
Speaker 1: my group we're going to wind up. We're got to

1214
01:02:59,400 --> 01:03:02,600
Speaker 1: wind up. Kids, I'm taking up your whole night. Tell

1215
01:03:02,640 --> 01:03:04,760
Speaker 1: my people how they can connect with you.

1216
01:03:05,480 --> 01:03:09,000
Speaker 2: On socials at Andrew May is my handles and our

1217
01:03:09,120 --> 01:03:12,680
Speaker 2: website is performance Intelligence dot com.

1218
01:03:12,680 --> 01:03:16,200
Speaker 1: Perfect. I appreciate you. You're always a superstar. You're very

1219
01:03:16,240 --> 01:03:18,800
Speaker 1: generous with your knowledge and your insight and your time.

1220
01:03:19,720 --> 01:03:21,600
Speaker 1: And I'm sorry I made you do a quarter of

1221
01:03:21,640 --> 01:03:24,800
Speaker 1: a podcast only to start again to do another podcast.

1222
01:03:24,920 --> 01:03:25,680
Speaker 1: My apologies.

1223
01:03:26,560 --> 01:03:30,520
Speaker 2: A really good test, am I practicing relaxation?

1224
01:03:30,600 --> 01:03:31,120
Speaker 1: That was good.

1225
01:03:31,320 --> 01:03:34,640
Speaker 2: I really enjoy our chats. And just in finishing for

1226
01:03:34,680 --> 01:03:38,720
Speaker 2: your audience, we've ducked and dived and dodged and all over.

1227
01:03:39,400 --> 01:03:44,080
Speaker 2: But the red thread through all of this is reflect.

1228
01:03:44,760 --> 01:03:47,000
Speaker 2: The red thread through all this is don't just roll

1229
01:03:47,040 --> 01:03:50,720
Speaker 2: into Christmas and whatever you're doing in Christmas and then

1230
01:03:50,800 --> 01:03:52,440
Speaker 2: just go right. I've got to set goals for a

1231
01:03:52,440 --> 01:03:55,120
Speaker 2: new year. It really is powerful to look back a

1232
01:03:55,120 --> 01:03:57,360
Speaker 2: little bit. And this could be linked gratitude as well

1233
01:03:57,360 --> 01:03:59,760
Speaker 2: and appreciation for what you've got. I've just found out

1234
01:03:59,800 --> 01:04:02,160
Speaker 2: the lone few years mate, it's really helped me and mcclent.

1235
01:04:02,280 --> 01:04:05,400
Speaker 2: So for your audience, just that discipline. We'll send that

1236
01:04:05,440 --> 01:04:07,480
Speaker 2: link so they can go to your show notes. Just

1237
01:04:07,800 --> 01:04:09,680
Speaker 2: spend twenty minutes, thirty minutes, grab a cup of two

1238
01:04:09,760 --> 01:04:11,800
Speaker 2: or a coldie over Chrissy, and just look back in

1239
01:04:11,800 --> 01:04:14,200
Speaker 2: the review mirror before we ramp up for the year ahead.

1240
01:04:14,760 --> 01:04:17,520
Speaker 1: Perfect finish, mate, Thank you. I'll talk to you off air,

1241
01:04:17,560 --> 01:04:19,800
Speaker 1: but for the moment. Thanks for being on the New

1242
01:04:19,880 --> 01:04:20,600
Speaker 1: Project again.

1243
01:04:20,880 --> 01:04:21,560
Speaker 2: Pleasure buddy,