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Speaker 1: Apogee Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashy

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Speaker 1: and I'm Tiana. This podcast is about female empowerment.

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Speaker 2: And encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest, and most

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Speaker 2: authentic version of yourself.

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Speaker 1: We help you shed the shame, grow to new level.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone

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Speaker 1: else is too afraid to talk about.

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Speaker 2: Get ready for your next level of self.

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Speaker 1: Hello everybody, Welcome back to she Rises.

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Speaker 2: Today's episode is all about removing overwhelm and really learning

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Speaker 2: how to soothe your overwhelmed through creating a really nice

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Speaker 2: structure for yourself. So we're gonna share a little bit

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Speaker 2: about when we have been overwhelmed, what we did to

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Speaker 2: get out of it, and how we kind of prioritize

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Speaker 2: our life and structure and routine so that we can

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Speaker 2: get out of mental, emotional, and physical chaos.

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Speaker 1: I love that. Of the best thing Steve said to

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Speaker 1: me years and years ago is before I had any

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Speaker 1: type of structure, diary, timetable, anything, I just used to

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Speaker 1: expect my self to remember everything. And he was like,

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Speaker 1: get a diary. Your brain can only hold so much,

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Speaker 1: and I kept double booking myself. He's like this is

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Speaker 1: going to continue happening. Get a diary, have things written down,

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Speaker 1: have your timetable out and I use time Tree now

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Speaker 1: and it's just absolute life saber. But the overwhelm comes

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Speaker 1: when you are trying to remember everything, think of everything,

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Speaker 1: pre plan everything, be on top of everything.

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Speaker 2: Like you're human.

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Speaker 1: Life is busy, life's chaotic, there's so much going on.

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Speaker 1: So the more you can have things out on paper

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Speaker 1: or in an app and organized, color coordinated.

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Speaker 2: I like your your calendar is color coordinator, just takes.

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Speaker 1: All the stress away. Does It takes all the overwhelmed

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Speaker 1: for me because I'm like, I can see exactly what

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Speaker 1: I've got to do well when I got to do

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Speaker 1: it ninety percent the time. When I double myself, I

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Speaker 1: did today, he did today, really I did for tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: For tomorrow, I did double book myself. But that's very

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Speaker 1: rare that that happens, very very rare. So that'd be

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Speaker 1: my first piece of advice is to have a diary

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Speaker 1: where you can write things down, or an app like

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Speaker 1: time Tree, where you can have everything struck actually put out.

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Speaker 1: I love that when you prioritize everything, nothing is a priority. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Who's that so true? Everything can't be your highest priority

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Speaker 1: at any given moment. I love that when we.

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Speaker 2: Think about our day to day life, right and we

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Speaker 2: think about emotions, and we think about relationships, and we

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Speaker 2: think about all the responsibilities that we have to do.

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Speaker 2: There's so much overwhelm that comes with the pre planning,

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Speaker 2: Like what you're talking about, You've got to know how

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Speaker 2: everything has to be in order, and you got to

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Speaker 2: think about this. And then if you're a parent, you've

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Speaker 2: got to think about kids and making sure that they're

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Speaker 2: fed and wash and bath. Then when you own a business,

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Speaker 2: you've got to think about you know, staff members and

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Speaker 2: overheads and bills and all this sort of stuff, and

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Speaker 2: it can become so overwhelming. But when you create a

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Speaker 2: structure for yourself, not only in your personal life, but

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Speaker 2: in almost like every avenue that you have, I find

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Speaker 2: that it takes the think time out of things exactly.

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Speaker 2: You know, like when you get decision fatigue. When you

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Speaker 2: get decision fatigue and you're like, oh, I have so

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Speaker 2: many decisions that I need to make. I just want

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Speaker 2: to run away from my life right now. For me personally,

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Speaker 2: I get overwhelmed really easily. And I find that if

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Speaker 2: I leave things to the last minute, or I don't

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Speaker 2: have structure or anything like that, I feel like I

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Speaker 2: just like want to run away. I get so uncomfortable

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Speaker 2: that I'm like squirming in my own skin because that

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Speaker 2: overwhelm of my life or the lack of structure leaks

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Speaker 2: into my relationships, and it leaks into how I show

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Speaker 2: up as a partner or how I show up as

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Speaker 2: a sibling or a friend. And then even in work,

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Speaker 2: like if I come into work and I'm just regulated,

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Speaker 2: I'm not thinking about the task that I'm doing, sogatively,

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Speaker 2: I'm not fully present there because my head's over here

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Speaker 2: off in my anxiety, you know. So creating that structure

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Speaker 2: I find really grounds me. And you know how people

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Speaker 2: say with training, when you create a training routine that

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Speaker 2: gives you more freedom, Yeah, it gives you more freedom

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Speaker 2: with food, right, because you're training and like you're on

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Speaker 2: top of your food and you're feeling good in your

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Speaker 2: body that you can actually explode a little bit more

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Speaker 2: with food without having to worry about every meal. Right.

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Speaker 1: And I feel like life is the.

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Speaker 2: Same thing, Like it gives you more time freedom when

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Speaker 2: you have more of a structure and more of like

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Speaker 2: a time regime of like this thing goes here, you know.

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Speaker 2: So for me, what I like to do and what

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Speaker 2: really helped me was giving everything a time slot. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you know, like when we go to the gym in

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Speaker 2: the morning, we go at five am, like that's our thing.

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Speaker 2: You know. When we come to the podcast studio we

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Speaker 2: start at nine as we know, you know, we have

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Speaker 2: all of this structure. On a Saturday morning, we five

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Speaker 2: thirty is our booty class. And having time slots for

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Speaker 2: everything is like, when I have this task, it's five thirty.

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Speaker 2: When I have this task, it's three pm. And I

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Speaker 2: find that really helps me with decision fatigue.

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Speaker 1: Something you also do really well at which I'm not

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Speaker 1: as good at, which is why we make a good team,

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Speaker 1: but I've gotten better. Is when we didn't the car

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Speaker 1: on the way Apere and started to plan another event,

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Speaker 1: she gets straight into her notes and she puts down

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Speaker 1: a to do list. You put top priority, low priority, yes,

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Speaker 1: and even the little circle things that you can tick

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Speaker 1: off do what they have to do.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So when we first started working together, she'd make all

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Speaker 1: these lists and it was just so organized, Like wow,

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Speaker 1: I get quite overwhelmed as well, but I kind of like, ah,

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Speaker 1: it'll figure itself out. I'll get by, like I'll make

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Speaker 1: it work, and I just like have trust and faith

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Speaker 1: in myself. But it's never done as well. Yeah, when

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Speaker 1: we have our list, we've got our things to do

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Speaker 1: and we know the priorities, we're organized. It takes all

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Speaker 1: the overwhelm our so much. Whenever we're planning and we've

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Speaker 1: planned events, we planned retreats. Because we've worked like that,

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Speaker 1: it's never felt really hard. No, and the things that

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Speaker 1: have been hard to say, the admin for the retreats,

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Speaker 1: you've done a lot of it, but like that it

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Speaker 1: is really messy and overwhelming because it's a lot, but

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Speaker 1: we're learning how to make it better for next time. Yes,

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Speaker 1: you know. Yeah, but the notes section has been really

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Speaker 1: really helpful for you. I think, oh, you use it daily.

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Speaker 2: That's why I have five thousand notes made.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Literally, like talk about overwhelming. That overwhelms me. I know,

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Speaker 2: like I'm always getting out all my thoughts and my feelings,

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Speaker 2: my list that I need to do in organizing. Because

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Speaker 2: as you know, like and you've seen this side of me,

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Speaker 2: like I can be forgetful if I'm not on top

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Speaker 2: of things, I can be forgetful because there's so many

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Speaker 2: things happening, so I have to write the list. And

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Speaker 2: I know, like, not that I don't have trust in myself,

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Speaker 2: but I just know that I don't have to consciously think,

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Speaker 2: am I forgetting something? Am I forgetting something? It's like

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Speaker 2: I can rely on this. Be organized, the tool that

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Speaker 2: you use, Yeah, be in my feminine too. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 2: like my alarms, babe, a million alarms that I had

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Speaker 2: right whenever we're going somewhere. Yeah, if I have let's say,

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Speaker 2: for example, like if I have a client at twelve,

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Speaker 2: I'll put an alarm on for eleven forty five so

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Speaker 2: that I know, in fifteen minutes from now, you've got

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Speaker 2: to prep and ready and read your client files and

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Speaker 2: go everything and prep for your client. And then before that,

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Speaker 2: for the first forty five minutes of that hour, I

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Speaker 2: can go lay in the sun and I can be

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Speaker 2: a girl and chill and Yeah, have no responsibility.

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Speaker 1: Saying about LOUD, I don't sound like that would be

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Speaker 1: a massive help, but they are. Yeah, having a timetable,

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Speaker 1: having your notes section, having you to do lists, brain

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Speaker 1: dumping it down, putting it all out so you don't

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Speaker 1: have to think about it in your head. You're not

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Speaker 1: going to be worried. You never forget something. You won't

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Speaker 1: forget something because you've got it right in front of you.

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Speaker 1: Just makes you sleep better. It makes you feel more

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Speaker 1: relaxed in your day to day.

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Speaker 2: Very true and something that I find has been really

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Speaker 2: helpful and that I've used in the moments where I

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Speaker 2: feel extremely overwhelmed. I'm I'm talking to those moments where

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Speaker 2: you have like so much to do, You have a

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Speaker 2: lot of tasks to do, and you don't know where

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Speaker 2: to start, that you procrastinate the shit, you go to food,

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Speaker 2: or you avoid and you go shopping, or can you

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Speaker 2: go watch a movie instead because you just don't want

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Speaker 2: to look at it. What I find is that if

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Speaker 2: I brain dump out all of my responsibilities, let's say,

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Speaker 2: for like the week, I'm like, okay, what are all

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Speaker 2: of my responsibilities? And I've brain dump all of them out.

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Speaker 2: When I look at that paper, I'm like, oh, that's

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Speaker 2: actually not that many tasks. But in my head, I've

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Speaker 2: made it so big and this big unachievable thing that

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Speaker 2: I have so much to do that I get myself

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Speaker 2: all anxious about it. But then when I see it

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Speaker 2: on the paper, I'm like, that's probably like fifteen tasks

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Speaker 2: that I need to do.

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Speaker 1: Okay, that's pretty many.

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Speaker 2: And then I do what you mentioned. I go high priority,

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Speaker 2: medium priority, low priority. It's cool, you know, and then go, okay,

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Speaker 2: what is urgent? What needs to be done today? What's

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Speaker 2: the biggest task? And I do the biggest tasks first,

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Speaker 2: and then the things that take like five minutes, I

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Speaker 2: do them at the end of the day. That's cool,

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Speaker 2: you know, because then you're like doing the thing that

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Speaker 2: makes you feel the most overwormed first, and then you

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Speaker 2: feel really good for the rest of them, and.

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Speaker 1: You get a really big dopamine hit two when you

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Speaker 1: cross it off your list. I do it. On the

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Speaker 1: way back from Bali to I wrote out a big

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Speaker 1: braindup of things, even just things like booking my dentists,

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Speaker 1: booking my past, like getting my skin checked, all those

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Speaker 1: kind of things that I've put off for years, and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I really need to go and do and

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Speaker 1: I've wrote it all out. As I'm starting to tick

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Speaker 1: it off, I feel good, so I want to do more.

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Speaker 1: So it's like that progression. If you're not making progression,

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Speaker 1: it just gets so much bigger in your own head.

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Speaker 2: I think we get a bit of a dopamine hit

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Speaker 2: when we sit down for sheep.

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Speaker 1: Right state every Tuesday Wednesday.

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Speaker 2: So I feel like we need to post our lists huge,

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Speaker 2: just so that you can see them and what we do.

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Speaker 2: And we, for the most part, every single time kick

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Speaker 2: off at least everything on the list. You know, we're

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Speaker 2: very efficient together in that sense. But because we are

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Speaker 2: so organized and we know what our high priorities are,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, hey, this is the most pressing thing I

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Speaker 2: need to do, and then all the other little things

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Speaker 2: we can do at the end of the day.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we know that.

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Speaker 2: Now we have a system for that. Yeah, but it's

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Speaker 2: the system without that system. Like, we've had so many projects,

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Speaker 2: so many in person events, retreats to organize. If we

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Speaker 2: didn't have some kind of structure for each project, it

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Speaker 2: would just be a mess.

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Speaker 1: And not only that, I've got hideaway and I'm a mum,

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Speaker 1: you your business and your clients first doing she rises.

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Speaker 1: We didn't have set days we were working on it.

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Speaker 1: We're kind of like messaging back and forth and go

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Speaker 1: on our walk. We'll talk about it and write a list,

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Speaker 1: and all of a sudden we were like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: we can't keep working like this, we actually dedicated days.

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Speaker 1: It's like, how does this work? Monday's out for me,

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Speaker 1: I'm in hideaway, you got clients. We figured out Tuesday

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Speaker 1: could work. We put in Wednesday as well. Thursday on

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Speaker 1: with Tala. Friday is my free day to catch up

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Speaker 1: on anything we normally do. But if she rise as well,

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Speaker 1: you've got your set days of your clients. We've found

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Speaker 1: a structure that works for both of us, and that's

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Speaker 1: just what we do every week now. And if there's

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Speaker 1: something coming up, like we've got a lot of filming

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Speaker 1: coming up for something else, we're going to adjust things

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Speaker 1: to make it work. That's right. We readjust and we're

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Speaker 1: flexible in that. But for the most part, we are

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Speaker 1: very structured and routine.

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Speaker 2: And now, remember it's so funny that you bring that

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Speaker 2: up about the beginning, because it was we were working

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Speaker 2: on it every spare minute that we got yep in

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Speaker 2: the day on a Monday, a night before bed, like

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Speaker 2: every night before bed, we were doing that and it was.

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Speaker 1: Just timing, oh my god, literally hours. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I forgot about that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And it was it was a lot to hold

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Speaker 2: at the time because we didn't have that like structure

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Speaker 2: that we have now, which.

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Speaker 1: Is so good.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And it was like leaking into the other things

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Speaker 2: that had going on because then we were kind of

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Speaker 2: doing two things at once. And that was something that like,

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Speaker 2: I know, you do this really well because you kind

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Speaker 2: of have always said, like multiple sources of income, like

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Speaker 2: different businesses, that sort of thing. You've always done that

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Speaker 2: really well, and that's your belief on that. And for me,

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Speaker 2: I've always thought, oh, just one thing, and so I've

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Speaker 2: had to work Yeah, no, both the beautiful. But now

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Speaker 2: I'm seeing the benefit of doing that too. And I

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Speaker 2: had to learn how to go from like managing one

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Speaker 2: business to managing too, you know, and learning how to

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Speaker 2: split my attention. But the biggest thing in that is

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Speaker 2: like time management. And it was the first thing that

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Speaker 2: I knew I needed to clean up. I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: if I want to have this and I want to

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Speaker 2: do this and I know I can, I have to

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Speaker 2: get better.

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Speaker 1: At managing my time.

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Speaker 2: And you would think it's a small thing, but I

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Speaker 2: guarantee you if you time blocked your entire day, and

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Speaker 2: you are somebody who says I don't have the time,

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Speaker 2: I don't have enough time to do all the things

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Speaker 2: that I want to do, and you time blocked your

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Speaker 2: entire day for one whole day, you would see where you.

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Speaker 1: Have moments of time.

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Speaker 2: Trust me, you have the time.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, it makes time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So many mums to come to me and say, like,

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Speaker 1: how do you find the time to work out? I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I'm up at four am? Yeah, I'm like, I never

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Speaker 1: get up at that time, Like could Yeah, you just

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Speaker 1: don't want to. You think I want to get up

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Speaker 1: at four am?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: You think I love when my alarm goes off and

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Speaker 1: I'm cozy in bed having a snuggle.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. No, you've been working up in the middle of

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Speaker 2: the night and then your alarm.

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Speaker 1: Goes off the floor. Yeah, Tyler lately, she definitely is

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Speaker 1: up every couple of nights. I don't want to get

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Speaker 1: up before it like.

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Speaker 2: Frizzy scratching at the door if you don't let.

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Speaker 1: Him out with that cat with the death of me

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Speaker 1: when he scratches to get out. Oh, it's such a

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Speaker 1: grives me mad. Anyways. Yeah, it's like that is a

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Speaker 1: conscious choice because I know having that structure overflows the

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Speaker 1: rest of my day. But I don't book that training

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Speaker 1: session in and go that time morning. I guarantee I'm

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Speaker 1: not going to the gym in the evening my energy

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Speaker 1: dips my time with my family. No way, it's not

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Speaker 1: gonna happen. I've tried and tested it. It does not work. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you've got to put things in place and commit to

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Speaker 1: it and show out for yourself big one it is.

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Speaker 1: I think the best time to create structure or to

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Speaker 1: start doubling down on discipline is when you feel the

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Speaker 1: most chaotic. Oh okay, because you know how everyone's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: just wait till things feel a bit better settle, yes exactly,

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Speaker 1: and it's like, no, if you can learn how to

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Speaker 1: do the hard things when life is chaotic, where you

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Speaker 1: are drowning, where you feel really stretched, where you feel like,

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Speaker 1: holy shit, this is so tough right now, how am

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Speaker 1: I going to do this? Like there's just too many

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Speaker 1: things to think about and too many things to be

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Speaker 1: responsible for. That's the moment.

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Speaker 2: It's going to save you the most, you know, and

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Speaker 2: not that you need saving, but if you feel like

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Speaker 2: you're drowning with responsibility and mum life and business life.

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Speaker 2: You run multiple businesses, you have a career, and you

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Speaker 2: have a side hustle or whatever it is that you're

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Speaker 2: holding At the moment when you are struggle with those things,

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Speaker 2: all you've got to do is refine from what you're

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Speaker 2: already doing, because I can guarantee you you might feel overwhelmed,

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Speaker 2: but you probably already have a pretty good structure going. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you probably already have a system that works. Maybe right

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Speaker 2: now you just like me, on your period and you're

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Speaker 2: just feeling a little bit tired and need a cuddle. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you know, and maybe you've just like fallen out of

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Speaker 2: swing of things for a little bit. So just audit

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Speaker 2: all of the things that you have going on, Audit

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Speaker 2: your time, Audit how you're managing things, and go, Okay,

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Speaker 2: what is it about what I'm doing right now that's

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Speaker 2: creating overwhelmed?

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Speaker 1: Am I?

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Speaker 2: Leaving things to the last minute before they need to

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Speaker 2: be done?

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Speaker 1: Right? Am I?

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Speaker 2: You know, doing that work project a night before it's due,

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Speaker 2: you know, really getting clear on what you're doing and

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Speaker 2: how you are contributing to the emotional overwhelm. Yeah, Because

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Speaker 2: I can guarantee you, most of the time, when it

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Speaker 2: comes to organization, the overwhelm comes because you're not organized,

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Speaker 2: because there's no structure, because there's too much chaos where

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Speaker 2: there's not enough structure for you to flow within. And

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Speaker 2: this is like brings in the conversation around masculine and

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Speaker 2: feminine energies.

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Speaker 1: True.

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Speaker 2: Right, when we think of a relationship dynamic, the man

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Speaker 2: is the masculine container and he holds the space for

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Speaker 2: the feminine to flow within. He's the provider, he's the protector,

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Speaker 2: he's the I've got you in your emotional storms. And

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Speaker 2: she is the feminine, the feeling, the flow, the freedom,

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Speaker 2: she's those things. Now we have those masculine and feminine

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Speaker 2: energies within us, and that's how I see structure. Like

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Speaker 2: when we have a good relationship with our masculine energy,

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Speaker 2: we are structured, we are disciplined, we are consistent. We

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Speaker 2: are a provider for ourselves. So when you can learn

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Speaker 2: how to become that for yourself, your feminine energy is.

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Speaker 1: Going to flourish.

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Speaker 2: So true, because she's going to go, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: I've got structure. Well, i don't need to be at

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Speaker 2: that appointment until two pm. I've got a spare hour.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm going to read in the sun

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Speaker 2: for an hour. You know. Then you can relax, you

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Speaker 2: can breathe. And this is what I was talking about

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Speaker 2: before around my alarms, and everyone who comes into my

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Speaker 2: life gets really pissed off about them because I have

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Speaker 2: so many of them, even to the point of if

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Speaker 2: I'm having a conversation with someone, I did this with

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Speaker 2: Chantal and I'm like, Okay, cool, I'm having a conversation

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Speaker 2: with you right now, and I'm so plugged in, but

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Speaker 2: I've got a client in seven minutes. I put an

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Speaker 2: alarm on for like, you know, five minutes or something

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Speaker 2: like that, and then I go, okay, cool, I've got

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Speaker 2: the next five minutes to be present with you. Then

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Speaker 2: I really have to go. And it just allows me

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Speaker 2: to enjoy my life as well as no that like

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Speaker 2: I've got things that are important to me that I

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Speaker 2: have to show up for.

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Speaker 1: Makes sense. So it happened in BA me. You and

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Speaker 1: Nick were talking about something and then an alarm went

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Speaker 1: off like half an hour before your client. It's good

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Speaker 1: for me Nick too, because we were like, hey, well

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Speaker 1: rep this conversation out, Yeah, so you can go prep. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and then we went outside. You went into do your thing.

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Speaker 1: That's cool. Yeah, it's just another tool. It's like finding

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Speaker 1: what tools you have. Yeah, I like the prioriti list

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Speaker 1: you said too, because I think sometimes we get overwhelmed.

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Speaker 1: We feel like I've got so much hon It's like,

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Speaker 1: what's the most important thing right now? You can't do

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Speaker 1: everything at once. Get your top three things and smash

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Speaker 1: them out and then move on to the next. Exactly

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Speaker 1: what you just said.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's exactly the advice that I gave to my

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Speaker 2: client on my call with her, not yesterday, the day before.

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Speaker 2: She came to me with this exact problem. Yeah, feeling

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Speaker 2: so overwhelmed, I don't know what to do and don't

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Speaker 2: want to start. I'm procrastinating as fuck.

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Speaker 1: She's like, Tiana, help me.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, you sit down here, little lady.

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Speaker 2: I got you, you know, And I said that what's

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Speaker 2: the number one thing that you are feuding right now?

401
00:16:18,441 --> 00:16:21,201
Speaker 2: Is it a conversation? Is it a work task? Is

402
00:16:21,241 --> 00:16:22,841
Speaker 2: it that project that you said that you're going to

403
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Speaker 2: work on that you haven't.

404
00:16:23,521 --> 00:16:24,361
Speaker 1: Done for three months?

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Speaker 2: What are you avoiding the most? Tackle that first? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: trust me, how much better you're going to feel.

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Speaker 1: It's like that whole thing where they say, do the

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Speaker 1: hardest thing of your day at the start of the day. Yes,

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Speaker 1: So if that's a cold plunge everything else will feel

410
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Speaker 1: easier because you've done the hardest thing working out. It's

411
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Speaker 1: a hard thing to do. It's thing to get out

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Speaker 1: of bed and go and move your body. Once that's done,

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Speaker 1: everything else feels easy.

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Speaker 2: Kiss the frog at the beginning of the day.

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Speaker 1: I love that. I don't know where I heard that.

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Speaker 1: I heard that before.

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Speaker 2: I heard someone say that once, and it's like, kiss

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Speaker 2: the frog at the beginning of the day. Go yeah,

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Speaker 2: so do the hardest task first. Okay, we hope it

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Speaker 2: helps anyway, Yeah, we hope that helps. And we get

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Speaker 2: it like it can be super overwhelming, but all of

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Speaker 2: these things, if you just implement one of these things,

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00:17:04,321 --> 00:17:05,921
Speaker 2: it helps sown so.

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Speaker 1: Much and throughout this whole process. Are you breathing? Just stop,

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Speaker 1: take a big breath in for your nose. You're okay,

426
00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:21,321
Speaker 1: things work out, You've got this, You've got this.

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Speaker 2: Got this?

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Speaker 1: How motivating do I have? And nothing in the episode?

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Speaker 1: Go back and listen and take notes. Yeah, right out

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Speaker 1: and listen. See what feels good for you, because what

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00:17:30,360 --> 00:17:32,241
Speaker 1: Tiana might do, you might want to switch it up forward,

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Speaker 1: adjust it slightly if.

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Speaker 2: It works for you. Yes, absolutely, all right, guys, we'll

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Speaker 2: see in the next episode Bye,