1 00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:13,241 Speaker 1: Apogee Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashy 2 00:00:13,281 --> 00:00:14,041 Speaker 1: and I'm Tiana. 3 00:00:14,361 --> 00:00:17,320 Speaker 2: This podcast is about female empowerment and encouraging you to 4 00:00:17,361 --> 00:00:20,800 Speaker 2: be your biggest, boldest, and most authentic version of yourself. 5 00:00:20,961 --> 00:00:23,320 Speaker 1: We help you shed the shame, grow to new level. 6 00:00:23,321 --> 00:00:26,241 Speaker 1: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone 7 00:00:26,281 --> 00:00:27,801 Speaker 1: else is too afraid to talk about. 8 00:00:28,401 --> 00:00:32,080 Speaker 2: Get ready for your next level of self. Today's episode 9 00:00:32,161 --> 00:00:35,521 Speaker 2: is all about grieving old versions of ourselves, which we 10 00:00:35,681 --> 00:00:36,761 Speaker 2: all go through. 11 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:39,841 Speaker 1: But before we get into it, share really week, Yes 12 00:00:40,441 --> 00:00:43,521 Speaker 1: you go first, Yes please. Mine is a new TV series. 13 00:00:43,561 --> 00:00:46,961 Speaker 1: It's called The Better Sister. It's on Prime. It's got 14 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:49,041 Speaker 1: Jessica Bield. Do you guys know she is forty three 15 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:52,641 Speaker 1: years old. She looks insane. You've been raving about how 16 00:00:52,641 --> 00:00:54,201 Speaker 1: good she looks. Oh my god. Her body is like 17 00:00:54,241 --> 00:00:56,681 Speaker 1: a twenty year old not quite like it's mature and sporty. 18 00:00:56,681 --> 00:01:00,041 Speaker 1: But I just she looks so fit, healthy and strong. 19 00:01:00,241 --> 00:01:02,441 Speaker 1: But she's so feminine. She's just hot. I just think 20 00:01:02,441 --> 00:01:03,961 Speaker 1: she's a babe. Forget what she looks like. I need 21 00:01:04,001 --> 00:01:06,521 Speaker 1: to have a look like justin to well, yes, like 22 00:01:06,601 --> 00:01:08,401 Speaker 1: There's just a couple of scenes where she like takes 23 00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:10,081 Speaker 1: her clothes off and she's in a bran unders and 24 00:01:10,121 --> 00:01:14,001 Speaker 1: I'm like, damn, turky, butt toned legs, like tone, tummy. 25 00:01:14,321 --> 00:01:16,720 Speaker 1: She just looks amazing and she's a really great actress. 26 00:01:16,761 --> 00:01:18,840 Speaker 2: Do you think she goes to the gym much takes 27 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:19,321 Speaker 2: care of herself? 28 00:01:19,441 --> 00:01:21,481 Speaker 1: Yeah, Steve said to me, is she genetically small? Do 29 00:01:21,521 --> 00:01:23,680 Speaker 1: you think she works out? And like, look at the tone, 30 00:01:23,801 --> 00:01:26,520 Speaker 1: Like she trains hard for that body, and I'm sure 31 00:01:26,521 --> 00:01:29,401 Speaker 1: she like eats really well as well. But yeah, this 32 00:01:29,441 --> 00:01:33,121 Speaker 1: whole series is about a couple and they split up, 33 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:35,960 Speaker 1: they have a kid together. The sister of this girl 34 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:39,121 Speaker 1: gets with the ex husband and then the husband gets murdered. 35 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:41,721 Speaker 1: There's a son involved, There's twists and turns. You can't 36 00:01:41,721 --> 00:01:44,201 Speaker 1: figure out who it is. There's so much that was 37 00:01:44,241 --> 00:01:46,681 Speaker 1: happening behind the scenes of the relationship. The sister's been 38 00:01:46,721 --> 00:01:49,161 Speaker 1: paining to someone that she's not and it's just every 39 00:01:49,201 --> 00:01:51,401 Speaker 1: episode there's so much happening. So she love a bit 40 00:01:51,441 --> 00:01:55,241 Speaker 1: of crime, a bit of mystery, a bit of toxic romance, 41 00:01:55,801 --> 00:01:57,201 Speaker 1: and she's being on the edge of your seat trying 42 00:01:57,241 --> 00:01:59,841 Speaker 1: to figure out who did it, like murdered mystery. It's 43 00:01:59,841 --> 00:02:02,161 Speaker 1: cool interesting. Yeah, really good. I have to write it down. 44 00:02:02,241 --> 00:02:04,641 Speaker 2: Yeah, the better sister on Prime my share of the 45 00:02:04,641 --> 00:02:06,641 Speaker 2: week is is actually something that actually bought for us, 46 00:02:07,361 --> 00:02:11,681 Speaker 2: which sounds on going. Actually came to me one day 47 00:02:11,681 --> 00:02:14,201 Speaker 2: and she's like, I got something for you. 48 00:02:14,201 --> 00:02:16,361 Speaker 1: You know, I'm the worst culprit for getting targeted on 49 00:02:16,481 --> 00:02:19,681 Speaker 1: friggin social media ads of stupid shit and I just 50 00:02:19,721 --> 00:02:21,801 Speaker 1: buy it. Get so influenced inluenced. 51 00:02:21,881 --> 00:02:24,561 Speaker 2: It comes around the friend of stuff, like here's a 52 00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:28,321 Speaker 2: little beef teller thing for your face. So this product 53 00:02:28,361 --> 00:02:31,321 Speaker 2: is called her Plus. They're provided gummies or something like 54 00:02:31,321 --> 00:02:34,361 Speaker 2: that for your pH balance in your vagina flavored pineapple. 55 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:36,561 Speaker 2: So these actually I ended up really loving them. I've 56 00:02:36,561 --> 00:02:38,161 Speaker 2: been using them for like the last month or so 57 00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:39,601 Speaker 2: since we got them. Both tried them. 58 00:02:40,001 --> 00:02:40,641 Speaker 1: I love them. 59 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:43,321 Speaker 2: I think they're amazing. So there's thousands and thousands of 60 00:02:43,361 --> 00:02:48,081 Speaker 2: reviews of women who experience better sex, better pH balances, 61 00:02:48,201 --> 00:02:50,481 Speaker 2: making sure that like they're obviously all good down there 62 00:02:50,481 --> 00:02:52,800 Speaker 2: and that sort of thing. So I personally have found 63 00:02:52,841 --> 00:02:55,601 Speaker 2: it has made me a little bit more wet for 64 00:02:55,841 --> 00:02:58,720 Speaker 2: context for anybody who's listening. So that is one of 65 00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:02,521 Speaker 2: the benefits of the gummies. Gummies so, yeah, I wanted 66 00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:03,280 Speaker 2: to share them with you guys. 67 00:03:03,281 --> 00:03:05,201 Speaker 1: And I've got no sense in it. I'm not convince 68 00:03:05,281 --> 00:03:07,921 Speaker 1: they work because when I look at the ingredients and 69 00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:09,481 Speaker 1: I still bought them, and when I buy them again, 70 00:03:10,401 --> 00:03:12,681 Speaker 1: they're delicious. Any excuse me to have a lolli if 71 00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:14,481 Speaker 1: it comes in some sort of item, I'm like, even better, 72 00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:16,641 Speaker 1: it's better for me. I just tell myself that. But 73 00:03:16,721 --> 00:03:18,321 Speaker 1: when I look at the back of the ingredients, there 74 00:03:18,481 --> 00:03:22,081 Speaker 1: isn't much in there. There's pineapple flaving, there's smell atole, 75 00:03:22,321 --> 00:03:24,601 Speaker 1: there's a little bit of sugar. There's not a lot 76 00:03:24,601 --> 00:03:26,440 Speaker 1: of things in there. Like, it's definitely not a probotic, 77 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,240 Speaker 1: isn't it. No, And most probotics they have to be 78 00:03:29,361 --> 00:03:31,241 Speaker 1: kept in the fridge too. Yes, once they put into 79 00:03:31,281 --> 00:03:33,641 Speaker 1: a gummy, there's nothing alive in there that can actually 80 00:03:33,641 --> 00:03:37,161 Speaker 1: build your health back up. So I'm not convinced that 81 00:03:37,201 --> 00:03:39,481 Speaker 1: they actually help. However, I do really like them, yep. 82 00:03:39,721 --> 00:03:41,961 Speaker 1: And if it helps me tastes and smell better, I'm like, 83 00:03:42,041 --> 00:03:42,561 Speaker 1: oh for it. 84 00:03:42,641 --> 00:03:44,841 Speaker 2: That's the big thing, is like it helps you taste 85 00:03:44,841 --> 00:03:47,121 Speaker 2: and smell and yeah, making sure that your pH is 86 00:03:47,201 --> 00:03:49,961 Speaker 2: on point basically, And I remember reading on the website 87 00:03:50,001 --> 00:03:52,961 Speaker 2: and it being from like three female women doctors or 88 00:03:53,001 --> 00:03:55,361 Speaker 2: something like that have come together to formulate it for women. 89 00:03:55,801 --> 00:03:57,441 Speaker 2: And I just remember reading the website and be like, oh, 90 00:03:57,441 --> 00:03:57,921 Speaker 2: that's so cool. 91 00:03:58,001 --> 00:03:59,761 Speaker 1: Be very good marketing, though it could be I'm a 92 00:03:59,801 --> 00:04:03,641 Speaker 1: marketer's on moment. Twenty thousand reviews. Yeah, and also when 93 00:04:03,681 --> 00:04:05,001 Speaker 1: you say it makes you more wet, we will a 94 00:04:05,081 --> 00:04:06,121 Speaker 1: s when the week of our population. 95 00:04:06,481 --> 00:04:09,681 Speaker 2: Yes, so we're like true, you know, but also there's 96 00:04:09,721 --> 00:04:11,201 Speaker 2: some reviews on there like that too. 97 00:04:11,401 --> 00:04:16,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, So anyway, looks. 98 00:04:16,001 --> 00:04:19,441 Speaker 2: If you're struggling even with like sex and intercourse and intercourse, 99 00:04:20,281 --> 00:04:21,640 Speaker 2: oh my god, I've never said that word. 100 00:04:21,481 --> 00:04:24,080 Speaker 1: In my life. They're delicious, and yeah, give them a go. 101 00:04:24,161 --> 00:04:25,841 Speaker 1: I will order them again just because they're freaking yum 102 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:28,041 Speaker 1: and if anything can help then why not. But I'm 103 00:04:28,081 --> 00:04:30,161 Speaker 1: just yere, I'm not one hundred percent sure. I feel 104 00:04:30,201 --> 00:04:31,801 Speaker 1: like when you look into supplements, you go to Flannery 105 00:04:31,841 --> 00:04:33,801 Speaker 1: as you can really see what's in it, and they 106 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:35,401 Speaker 1: call it in the back by a natch path or 107 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:37,801 Speaker 1: a nutritionist or I don't know. 108 00:04:37,801 --> 00:04:39,441 Speaker 2: I'm gonna have a look on the website, but we'll 109 00:04:39,481 --> 00:04:39,960 Speaker 2: let you guys know. 110 00:04:41,641 --> 00:04:44,801 Speaker 1: Next minutes, a scam have fake doctors not kidding for 111 00:04:44,841 --> 00:04:49,041 Speaker 1: the yump. Anyways, moving on, so what are we talking about? 112 00:04:49,481 --> 00:04:53,320 Speaker 1: Greeting past versions of ourselves and ego deaths and just 113 00:04:53,401 --> 00:04:55,481 Speaker 1: deaths of our old selves. And this is something we 114 00:04:55,601 --> 00:04:58,880 Speaker 1: all go through and maybe something you have never reflected on, 115 00:04:58,921 --> 00:05:01,561 Speaker 1: but we've been through different phases of our lives where 116 00:05:01,601 --> 00:05:03,561 Speaker 1: have had to kind of let go of a past version. 117 00:05:03,801 --> 00:05:06,601 Speaker 1: And it can be har sometimes. Even though you know 118 00:05:06,761 --> 00:05:09,401 Speaker 1: this next level version of yourself is even better. She's 119 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:13,200 Speaker 1: more evolved, she's more aware, she's more conscious, she's more flowy, calm, 120 00:05:13,281 --> 00:05:15,481 Speaker 1: all the good things, there's still parts of your old 121 00:05:15,481 --> 00:05:19,681 Speaker 1: self that you can grieve. I've had two that I 122 00:05:19,761 --> 00:05:22,201 Speaker 1: feel the biggest ones of me, and the first was 123 00:05:22,601 --> 00:05:26,201 Speaker 1: who I was before I became a mother, and there 124 00:05:26,281 --> 00:05:29,440 Speaker 1: was quite a transition. I felt like, you do almost 125 00:05:29,961 --> 00:05:33,041 Speaker 1: lose your old self. You have a rebirth. When you 126 00:05:33,201 --> 00:05:36,601 Speaker 1: birth a child, you are different. It changes you. It 127 00:05:36,681 --> 00:05:39,201 Speaker 1: changes your perspectives, it changes the way you show up, 128 00:05:39,201 --> 00:05:43,081 Speaker 1: It changes your body, it changes your life, it changes everything. 129 00:05:43,561 --> 00:05:45,081 Speaker 1: So I felt like I had to really get to 130 00:05:45,121 --> 00:05:47,801 Speaker 1: know who I was as a mother and the parts 131 00:05:47,841 --> 00:05:49,481 Speaker 1: of me that I still wanted to keep around the 132 00:05:49,481 --> 00:05:51,681 Speaker 1: parts that I did, and I felt like we're maturing. 133 00:05:51,801 --> 00:05:53,841 Speaker 1: I didn't want to lose the playful side of me, 134 00:05:54,841 --> 00:05:56,961 Speaker 1: So I felt like I went through a period where 135 00:05:57,161 --> 00:05:59,200 Speaker 1: I lost all of that and I was grieving this 136 00:05:59,521 --> 00:06:03,881 Speaker 1: young free like free time, free energy, just end less, 137 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:06,440 Speaker 1: do whatever I wanted. I'm sat I love freedom as well, 138 00:06:06,721 --> 00:06:10,361 Speaker 1: so I really missed that free spirit. I suppose I 139 00:06:10,361 --> 00:06:12,121 Speaker 1: felt like I needed to be more in control, and 140 00:06:12,201 --> 00:06:13,961 Speaker 1: I was more stressed and I was more anxious, and 141 00:06:14,001 --> 00:06:18,361 Speaker 1: I was like, where has that fun, loving, cruisy, sexual, playful, 142 00:06:18,721 --> 00:06:21,481 Speaker 1: energetic actually gone? She's gone? And is she coming back? 143 00:06:22,121 --> 00:06:24,001 Speaker 1: And then it was the process of like, Okay, maybe 144 00:06:24,001 --> 00:06:26,321 Speaker 1: she is gone and she's been rebirthed, but how can 145 00:06:26,361 --> 00:06:28,601 Speaker 1: I get to know this new version of myself? Who 146 00:06:28,601 --> 00:06:30,161 Speaker 1: do I want to be? I still want to be playful, 147 00:06:30,361 --> 00:06:32,001 Speaker 1: I still want to be in touch with my sexuality. 148 00:06:32,041 --> 00:06:33,921 Speaker 1: I still want to have fun. But it's just going 149 00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:37,361 Speaker 1: to look and feel different. And it's changed at the 150 00:06:37,401 --> 00:06:39,440 Speaker 1: different ages of my kids as well. Like the first 151 00:06:39,521 --> 00:06:42,041 Speaker 1: two or three years at Tarj was just tough. She 152 00:06:42,161 --> 00:06:42,681 Speaker 1: wasn't there. 153 00:06:42,961 --> 00:06:45,761 Speaker 2: She was like keeping above water, she was deep in it. 154 00:06:45,841 --> 00:06:48,601 Speaker 1: Literally just surviving like I was floating in an ocean 155 00:06:48,641 --> 00:06:51,841 Speaker 1: full of sharks ready to be eaten. I don't know 156 00:06:51,921 --> 00:06:53,521 Speaker 1: that's a really bad analogy, but I'm. 157 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:54,760 Speaker 2: Sure that's how it would have felt in the moment 158 00:06:54,761 --> 00:06:55,041 Speaker 2: it did. 159 00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,801 Speaker 1: I felt like I was just surviving, not thriving, Whereas 160 00:06:57,801 --> 00:07:00,601 Speaker 1: with Tala, I found I was just way more regulated 161 00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:02,960 Speaker 1: and I didn't feel like that full death, but I 162 00:07:02,961 --> 00:07:04,921 Speaker 1: did feel like a new and more evolved version was 163 00:07:05,641 --> 00:07:07,760 Speaker 1: and I was just more conscious, careful of my energy, 164 00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:10,681 Speaker 1: and more confident in who I was. And then the 165 00:07:10,721 --> 00:07:13,081 Speaker 1: second one was when I decided to give up on 166 00:07:13,441 --> 00:07:17,481 Speaker 1: my career in the Finnis industry, and that was uncomfortable, 167 00:07:18,681 --> 00:07:20,841 Speaker 1: even though I knew it was the right decision. Like 168 00:07:20,921 --> 00:07:23,521 Speaker 1: things can be the right decision, it doesn't mean it's 169 00:07:23,561 --> 00:07:26,081 Speaker 1: not going to be uncomfortable. So you can make move 170 00:07:26,161 --> 00:07:28,681 Speaker 1: big Bob moves, make big decisions, whether it's ending a 171 00:07:28,721 --> 00:07:30,921 Speaker 1: marriage or a relationship or a friendship, or quitting a 172 00:07:31,001 --> 00:07:33,681 Speaker 1: job or leaving an industry that you know so well. 173 00:07:33,961 --> 00:07:35,761 Speaker 1: It could be the right thing and still be uncomfortable. 174 00:07:35,761 --> 00:07:37,841 Speaker 1: And that's what it was for me because I wrapped 175 00:07:37,841 --> 00:07:40,361 Speaker 1: my identity around being the finness girl, so I'm like, 176 00:07:40,401 --> 00:07:43,041 Speaker 1: who am I now that I'm not that? Why will 177 00:07:43,041 --> 00:07:44,601 Speaker 1: people want to follow me? Why would they want to 178 00:07:44,601 --> 00:07:47,361 Speaker 1: engage with me? What else is there about me? Because 179 00:07:47,521 --> 00:07:51,241 Speaker 1: people have followed me for fitness, for workouts, for routines, 180 00:07:51,321 --> 00:07:54,561 Speaker 1: for health tips, for food, for recipes. So I had 181 00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:56,681 Speaker 1: to get to know who I was and then be 182 00:07:56,681 --> 00:07:59,161 Speaker 1: able to show up authentically to who I was then 183 00:07:59,201 --> 00:08:02,641 Speaker 1: and there, not just continue posting workouts because that's what 184 00:08:02,681 --> 00:08:04,921 Speaker 1: everyone had known me for. But it was a massive 185 00:08:05,161 --> 00:08:07,001 Speaker 1: death of my old self and it was hard to 186 00:08:07,081 --> 00:08:09,041 Speaker 1: let go of. But I think I moved through that 187 00:08:09,121 --> 00:08:12,441 Speaker 1: quite quickly because I loved who I was outside of 188 00:08:12,441 --> 00:08:15,321 Speaker 1: the fitness industry, but I had to take space to 189 00:08:15,361 --> 00:08:17,961 Speaker 1: figure out who that was and what I enjoyed and 190 00:08:18,001 --> 00:08:20,161 Speaker 1: what I wanted to do moving forward. I found that 191 00:08:20,201 --> 00:08:22,241 Speaker 1: more enjoyable as well as greeting it. 192 00:08:22,321 --> 00:08:23,841 Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like there were a few moments, like 193 00:08:23,881 --> 00:08:26,201 Speaker 2: few finding moments throughout that process, but I feel like 194 00:08:26,241 --> 00:08:28,001 Speaker 2: you did handle that quite well. It was just a 195 00:08:28,001 --> 00:08:30,401 Speaker 2: couple of moments in time where you're like, oh, right now, 196 00:08:30,401 --> 00:08:32,361 Speaker 2: it's feeling like a lot, and then yeah, we talk 197 00:08:32,401 --> 00:08:34,241 Speaker 2: about it, process it, you know, and then you get 198 00:08:34,241 --> 00:08:36,561 Speaker 2: closer and closer to what you actually wanted as well. 199 00:08:36,681 --> 00:08:38,841 Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's like announcing something and doing something. And 200 00:08:38,841 --> 00:08:41,441 Speaker 1: I remember actually like fully handing everything over to Levi, 201 00:08:41,921 --> 00:08:43,961 Speaker 1: and I'm so glad that he was my business partner. 202 00:08:43,961 --> 00:08:46,161 Speaker 1: I could hand it to someone who I know loves 203 00:08:46,201 --> 00:08:48,041 Speaker 1: it so much. We'd built it together, were't going to 204 00:08:48,121 --> 00:08:50,041 Speaker 1: just sell it to anyone and take over my name. 205 00:08:50,441 --> 00:08:52,241 Speaker 1: It was handing it to someone who had helped build it. 206 00:08:52,281 --> 00:08:53,561 Speaker 1: So I felt really good for that. But it was 207 00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:57,601 Speaker 1: still like, oh, that's not mine anymore. All that work, 208 00:08:57,921 --> 00:09:01,561 Speaker 1: all that time, the community, like the forums, the programs, 209 00:09:01,881 --> 00:09:04,801 Speaker 1: the back end systems, the website, everything is just not 210 00:09:04,841 --> 00:09:09,521 Speaker 1: mine anymore. And it felt like sad and uncomfortable. But 211 00:09:09,641 --> 00:09:11,841 Speaker 1: also this is right and I'm excited for him to 212 00:09:11,881 --> 00:09:14,321 Speaker 1: see what he does with it. So yeah, it was interesting. 213 00:09:14,601 --> 00:09:15,881 Speaker 2: That was a big transition for you. 214 00:09:16,041 --> 00:09:18,321 Speaker 1: It was, but it gave me more space to see, Yeah, 215 00:09:18,321 --> 00:09:19,801 Speaker 1: who I wanted to be, what aligned with me, and 216 00:09:19,841 --> 00:09:21,921 Speaker 1: what I want to do next, which has been part 217 00:09:21,961 --> 00:09:23,921 Speaker 1: of the podcast, and giving some more energy to hide away. 218 00:09:23,921 --> 00:09:25,721 Speaker 1: And it's been fun. I love it. 219 00:09:25,801 --> 00:09:28,561 Speaker 2: You've come more and more into yourself. You've let all 220 00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:31,001 Speaker 2: of these old chapters and things that aren't really feeling 221 00:09:31,041 --> 00:09:33,361 Speaker 2: like not aligned, but not where you want to direct 222 00:09:33,361 --> 00:09:34,481 Speaker 2: your energy anymore. Yeah. 223 00:09:34,521 --> 00:09:37,001 Speaker 1: I love teaching, I always do, and I still love fitness, 224 00:09:37,521 --> 00:09:39,081 Speaker 1: and if I got asked to run a big boot 225 00:09:39,081 --> 00:09:41,001 Speaker 1: camp on stage or something, I'll probably say yes. But 226 00:09:41,041 --> 00:09:42,841 Speaker 1: it's not all of who I am, and it's not 227 00:09:42,841 --> 00:09:45,321 Speaker 1: all of what I wanted to do anymore. The podcast 228 00:09:45,441 --> 00:09:47,201 Speaker 1: gave me a platform and a voice to be able 229 00:09:47,201 --> 00:09:49,041 Speaker 1: to talk about other things that are really important to me, 230 00:09:49,081 --> 00:09:51,641 Speaker 1: because it's not just about health and fitness. There's so 231 00:09:51,721 --> 00:09:54,841 Speaker 1: much more to me and to life than just talking 232 00:09:54,881 --> 00:09:57,361 Speaker 1: about food and exercise. So it's really cool that I 233 00:09:57,401 --> 00:09:59,241 Speaker 1: can still have that passion and there's still a high 234 00:09:59,281 --> 00:10:00,761 Speaker 1: value of mine, but I could talk about so many 235 00:10:00,761 --> 00:10:03,801 Speaker 1: other things that are important conversations to have with women. 236 00:10:04,481 --> 00:10:05,961 Speaker 1: So yeah, it's so beautiful as well. 237 00:10:05,961 --> 00:10:08,441 Speaker 2: The way you've described it is like there's this grieving 238 00:10:08,561 --> 00:10:10,521 Speaker 2: process but it's also equal parts beauty. 239 00:10:10,601 --> 00:10:12,321 Speaker 1: Yeah, a duality, right, Yeah. 240 00:10:12,401 --> 00:10:14,241 Speaker 2: Yeah, it sounds like you've had that moment where you've 241 00:10:14,241 --> 00:10:16,761 Speaker 2: had to grieve and let go and be willing to 242 00:10:17,561 --> 00:10:20,121 Speaker 2: let go of the certainty of something yes, to go 243 00:10:20,241 --> 00:10:22,761 Speaker 2: into the unknown definitely come out on the other side 244 00:10:22,761 --> 00:10:23,801 Speaker 2: of something really beautiful. 245 00:10:23,961 --> 00:10:26,361 Speaker 1: And there's the financial side of it too. Yeah, anyone 246 00:10:26,481 --> 00:10:29,041 Speaker 1: in a career transition or you start a business or 247 00:10:29,081 --> 00:10:30,881 Speaker 1: give up a full time job to go out, card 248 00:10:30,921 --> 00:10:34,121 Speaker 1: at your side, hustle or whatever, like that's a big thing. Yeah, 249 00:10:34,281 --> 00:10:36,081 Speaker 1: let go of as well. There's so many layers to 250 00:10:36,601 --> 00:10:38,641 Speaker 1: letting go of the old version of yourself that you 251 00:10:38,681 --> 00:10:41,161 Speaker 1: have to work through and take risks and back yourself 252 00:10:41,201 --> 00:10:42,161 Speaker 1: and just on a where you're. 253 00:10:42,001 --> 00:10:44,281 Speaker 2: At right now and trust that you're making the right discay. 254 00:10:44,401 --> 00:10:46,681 Speaker 1: Yeah, moment you know in your body though we always 255 00:10:46,721 --> 00:10:51,361 Speaker 1: say this, when you actually stop, take a moment, slow down, breathe, 256 00:10:51,641 --> 00:10:54,361 Speaker 1: just like recenter, connect with yourself. The answers are there. 257 00:10:54,721 --> 00:10:57,081 Speaker 1: And I got all those answers when I was in hospital. Yeah, 258 00:10:57,121 --> 00:10:58,761 Speaker 1: I had forty eight hours where I was like twiddling 259 00:10:58,841 --> 00:11:02,521 Speaker 1: my thumbs, no distractions, no kids around. I was like, 260 00:11:02,601 --> 00:11:04,641 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, this is what I need to do. 261 00:11:05,121 --> 00:11:06,601 Speaker 1: But I've been putting it off for a while. I 262 00:11:06,601 --> 00:11:08,761 Speaker 1: remember months before I even found out my brain on nurism, 263 00:11:08,841 --> 00:11:11,601 Speaker 1: I was just so unhappy. It's crying to Steve all 264 00:11:11,641 --> 00:11:13,601 Speaker 1: the time. I couldn't figure out why I was waking 265 00:11:13,681 --> 00:11:16,241 Speaker 1: up not wanting to go to work. Everything felt hard. 266 00:11:16,281 --> 00:11:19,921 Speaker 1: I didn't feel motivated. Yeah, I loved active wear, but I 267 00:11:19,961 --> 00:11:22,041 Speaker 1: didn't love selling it anymore. I felt like I was 268 00:11:22,121 --> 00:11:25,161 Speaker 1: just constantly selling, selling, selling, and I'd built a brand 269 00:11:25,161 --> 00:11:27,441 Speaker 1: that was off my name and that's how we sold organically. 270 00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:31,001 Speaker 1: All of it just didn't feel good anymore. Yeah, it 271 00:11:31,081 --> 00:11:33,841 Speaker 1: was a strange thing to feel. But when you give 272 00:11:33,841 --> 00:11:36,041 Speaker 1: yourself that space, the answers are there, and then you 273 00:11:36,081 --> 00:11:39,201 Speaker 1: get a choice if you're honor them. So Mike Drop, like, 274 00:11:40,081 --> 00:11:42,401 Speaker 1: what about you? What old versions of you have you 275 00:11:42,481 --> 00:11:45,401 Speaker 1: had to say goodbye to and reinvent yourself and get 276 00:11:45,401 --> 00:11:47,001 Speaker 1: to know who Tiana is now? 277 00:11:47,201 --> 00:11:50,201 Speaker 2: Oh, reinvent myself. I feel like I've reinvented myself a 278 00:11:50,241 --> 00:11:50,841 Speaker 2: million times. 279 00:11:50,841 --> 00:11:52,801 Speaker 1: I love that. Yeah, but on you for being open 280 00:11:52,841 --> 00:11:53,321 Speaker 1: to change. 281 00:11:53,401 --> 00:11:56,201 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it's hard and uncomfortable, but it's also a 282 00:11:56,281 --> 00:11:59,001 Speaker 2: really empowering thing as well, because the way that I 283 00:11:59,081 --> 00:12:00,761 Speaker 2: like to see it is like, Wow, I have the 284 00:12:00,881 --> 00:12:04,201 Speaker 2: opportunity for me to completely transform the current life that 285 00:12:04,201 --> 00:12:06,961 Speaker 2: I'm living into some thing that actually feels a line 286 00:12:07,001 --> 00:12:10,161 Speaker 2: for me and is like the reflection of who I 287 00:12:10,201 --> 00:12:11,921 Speaker 2: want to be as a woman. You know, Like, if 288 00:12:11,961 --> 00:12:14,601 Speaker 2: I could look at all the different variations of Tiana that. 289 00:12:14,561 --> 00:12:17,841 Speaker 1: I've over the years, it's like a whirlwind. I would 290 00:12:17,841 --> 00:12:19,601 Speaker 1: have loved seen younger vig. 291 00:12:20,401 --> 00:12:28,361 Speaker 2: God, she's been busy, you know. I think probably the 292 00:12:28,401 --> 00:12:32,241 Speaker 2: biggest transition for me when I was younger, I would say, 293 00:12:32,241 --> 00:12:34,281 Speaker 2: the most like pivot one that kind of started all 294 00:12:34,281 --> 00:12:39,081 Speaker 2: of the other was transitioned from party girl to self development. Yeah, 295 00:12:39,121 --> 00:12:42,441 Speaker 2: growth consciousness. That was the biggest one. That was the 296 00:12:42,481 --> 00:12:44,441 Speaker 2: biggest one that triggered all of the rest of them. 297 00:12:44,521 --> 00:12:46,361 Speaker 2: That's cool, and that was a powerful one for me 298 00:12:46,401 --> 00:12:48,881 Speaker 2: because I almost went from this version of myself who 299 00:12:49,001 --> 00:12:53,121 Speaker 2: was one very unaware, very selfish, self led, didn't really 300 00:12:53,201 --> 00:12:57,001 Speaker 2: care victim, Yeah, victim just was very self focused that 301 00:12:57,041 --> 00:12:58,441 Speaker 2: I was like, just wanted to do what I wanted 302 00:12:58,441 --> 00:12:59,921 Speaker 2: to do. I wanted to have what I wanted to have, 303 00:13:00,121 --> 00:13:02,961 Speaker 2: you know, and everything was very quite self level. And 304 00:13:03,001 --> 00:13:05,481 Speaker 2: then I went from that version of myself to somebody 305 00:13:05,521 --> 00:13:09,641 Speaker 2: who started to gain more self awareness, realize myself, realize 306 00:13:09,681 --> 00:13:12,841 Speaker 2: my patterns, realize my impact on other people and other 307 00:13:12,881 --> 00:13:16,881 Speaker 2: people's impact on me. And that transition, even though it 308 00:13:16,961 --> 00:13:20,201 Speaker 2: was a positive one, I went through like a grieving process. 309 00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:21,001 Speaker 1: You know. 310 00:13:21,161 --> 00:13:23,681 Speaker 2: It's like I was letting go of the care free 311 00:13:23,881 --> 00:13:26,161 Speaker 2: this is the story I had. I was letting go 312 00:13:26,321 --> 00:13:28,921 Speaker 2: of the care free version of me who didn't really care, 313 00:13:28,961 --> 00:13:33,281 Speaker 2: who had very little responsibility, Yeah, to becoming this woman 314 00:13:33,321 --> 00:13:36,241 Speaker 2: who now cared about what everybody thought, cared about the 315 00:13:36,281 --> 00:13:39,401 Speaker 2: decisions that I made, who I impacted, how I impacted them, 316 00:13:39,561 --> 00:13:41,641 Speaker 2: how much impact I would create on other people in 317 00:13:41,681 --> 00:13:43,721 Speaker 2: the world. And so it went from like a I 318 00:13:43,761 --> 00:13:48,641 Speaker 2: almost aggrieved this real like care free version of my Yeah. 319 00:13:48,681 --> 00:13:51,481 Speaker 2: And it was just a really interesting thing because even 320 00:13:51,481 --> 00:13:52,881 Speaker 2: though I knew it was going to be good for me, 321 00:13:53,361 --> 00:13:55,481 Speaker 2: I just had this story that carefree Tianna didn't get 322 00:13:55,481 --> 00:13:58,561 Speaker 2: to come with me. Yeah, but that's not necessarily true. 323 00:13:58,561 --> 00:14:01,481 Speaker 2: Carefree Tiana did come with me. She just showed up differently, 324 00:14:01,921 --> 00:14:04,921 Speaker 2: you know, cool, instead of being careless and reckless and 325 00:14:05,481 --> 00:14:08,241 Speaker 2: you know, didn't really care for consequences and things like that. 326 00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:11,641 Speaker 2: I just be honestly whatever, Yeah, it'll sort of self out, 327 00:14:11,761 --> 00:14:16,921 Speaker 2: that's fine. It was not absolutely not fine, Absolutely not fine. Yeah, 328 00:14:16,961 --> 00:14:19,081 Speaker 2: the carefree version of me showed up in a different way. 329 00:14:19,481 --> 00:14:22,321 Speaker 2: And so there was a grieving process of even though 330 00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:24,961 Speaker 2: that version of me wasn't good for me, I still 331 00:14:24,961 --> 00:14:27,361 Speaker 2: had to grieve that part of me. Yeah, I degrieve 332 00:14:27,441 --> 00:14:29,721 Speaker 2: the version of me who loved to drink, who went out, 333 00:14:29,761 --> 00:14:33,161 Speaker 2: who partied, who you know, loved attention from guys, who 334 00:14:33,521 --> 00:14:35,561 Speaker 2: didn't take herself seriously. I had to grieve all of 335 00:14:35,561 --> 00:14:38,241 Speaker 2: those parts of me that actually weren't serving me. But 336 00:14:38,281 --> 00:14:40,081 Speaker 2: then I got to let that go and evolve into 337 00:14:40,121 --> 00:14:42,241 Speaker 2: like a more beautiful version of myself, which I'm really 338 00:14:42,281 --> 00:14:45,001 Speaker 2: really proud of. But I don't think people talk about 339 00:14:45,041 --> 00:14:49,441 Speaker 2: that enough. It's like, when you're grieving bad habits, bad choices, 340 00:14:49,521 --> 00:14:53,161 Speaker 2: bad actions, you know, unhealthy ways of thinking, you're grieving 341 00:14:53,201 --> 00:14:54,281 Speaker 2: that part of you as well. 342 00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:57,241 Speaker 1: And I'm assuming when you went through that process, did 343 00:14:57,241 --> 00:15:00,881 Speaker 1: you also kind of have to disconnect from the party 344 00:15:00,921 --> 00:15:02,721 Speaker 1: friends because you were doing different things. So you're not 345 00:15:02,721 --> 00:15:05,721 Speaker 1: only grieving your old party, fun, care free Tiana, but 346 00:15:05,761 --> 00:15:07,521 Speaker 1: you have to grieve the friendships you're going to lose 347 00:15:07,561 --> 00:15:10,001 Speaker 1: because that's how they connect and that's how you guys 348 00:15:10,001 --> 00:15:12,281 Speaker 1: have fun and do things. Have to grieve them as well. 349 00:15:12,321 --> 00:15:14,281 Speaker 2: This is a conversation I actually had the other night, 350 00:15:14,521 --> 00:15:16,921 Speaker 2: and I love that you said that because at every 351 00:15:16,921 --> 00:15:19,441 Speaker 2: point in my journey. Whenever I have been drinking, I 352 00:15:19,481 --> 00:15:24,201 Speaker 2: have lost those friends. But because they're not actually my friends' friends, 353 00:15:24,321 --> 00:15:25,361 Speaker 2: they're my party friends. 354 00:15:25,521 --> 00:15:27,681 Speaker 1: So the connections more surface level. It's not like that 355 00:15:27,721 --> 00:15:30,961 Speaker 1: actually real authentic deep connection at all. Great got at all. 356 00:15:30,841 --> 00:15:32,601 Speaker 2: Those people were meeting me on the same level that 357 00:15:32,641 --> 00:15:35,161 Speaker 2: I was at, so migration, Yeah, it was surface level. 358 00:15:35,201 --> 00:15:37,161 Speaker 2: It was let's go out for the weekend and go 359 00:15:37,241 --> 00:15:39,281 Speaker 2: have fun and go stay in the city, and you know, 360 00:15:39,361 --> 00:15:41,561 Speaker 2: we wouldn't even go get breakfast the next morning. Yeah, 361 00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:44,361 Speaker 2: you know, So it wasn't deep connection getting to know 362 00:15:44,441 --> 00:15:45,641 Speaker 2: each other, being there for each. 363 00:15:45,481 --> 00:15:47,881 Speaker 1: Other front conversation instead of yeah, and. 364 00:15:47,841 --> 00:15:49,921 Speaker 2: Then it's drama, you know, being there through all the 365 00:15:50,001 --> 00:15:52,281 Speaker 2: chaos and all that sort of stuff. But outside of that, 366 00:15:52,521 --> 00:15:55,641 Speaker 2: was there really any substance to the friendship. No, So yes, 367 00:15:55,681 --> 00:15:57,921 Speaker 2: you grieve the version of you who was that, who 368 00:15:57,921 --> 00:16:00,241 Speaker 2: attracted that, who liked that, and then you grieve the 369 00:16:00,321 --> 00:16:02,961 Speaker 2: version of you who was choosing to be friends with 370 00:16:02,961 --> 00:16:05,121 Speaker 2: all these people who weren't really choosing you. 371 00:16:06,001 --> 00:16:06,721 Speaker 1: Yeah. 372 00:16:06,721 --> 00:16:08,441 Speaker 2: So that was a really big one for me, and 373 00:16:08,641 --> 00:16:11,441 Speaker 2: the first one that really changed the trajectory of my life. 374 00:16:11,441 --> 00:16:14,321 Speaker 2: Like I'm so grateful. I remember going through that transition 375 00:16:14,401 --> 00:16:17,441 Speaker 2: and thinking, oh my god, I've been sleeping my whole life. 376 00:16:17,561 --> 00:16:18,761 Speaker 2: I feel like I'm finally waking up. 377 00:16:18,801 --> 00:16:21,441 Speaker 1: I sleep walking through life, yeah. 378 00:16:20,801 --> 00:16:23,321 Speaker 2: And just having this new profound awareness of myself and 379 00:16:23,361 --> 00:16:26,041 Speaker 2: my life. I was like, oh my god, like this 380 00:16:26,121 --> 00:16:28,361 Speaker 2: is what life's about. Yeah, So that was really cool 381 00:16:28,401 --> 00:16:32,161 Speaker 2: for me. I would say there's two other ones, but 382 00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:33,721 Speaker 2: the one that I kind of want to point out 383 00:16:33,841 --> 00:16:36,441 Speaker 2: is the one that has been the most recent for me, 384 00:16:36,481 --> 00:16:38,281 Speaker 2: from coach Tiana to more mem. 385 00:16:38,361 --> 00:16:39,161 Speaker 1: I love this one. 386 00:16:39,241 --> 00:16:42,121 Speaker 2: This has been a really cool transition for me. I 387 00:16:42,161 --> 00:16:44,121 Speaker 2: feel like for the longest time in my business, which 388 00:16:44,121 --> 00:16:46,481 Speaker 2: has been like about four years now, I have hid 389 00:16:46,521 --> 00:16:47,521 Speaker 2: behind coach Tiana. 390 00:16:47,761 --> 00:16:49,281 Speaker 1: Explain that who is coach Tiana. 391 00:16:49,361 --> 00:16:52,721 Speaker 2: So coach Tianna is very like well put together, very educated, 392 00:16:52,881 --> 00:16:57,241 Speaker 2: know to shit, yeah, very well presented, and it's kind 393 00:16:57,281 --> 00:17:00,521 Speaker 2: of like the very professional Tiana, if I could label it, 394 00:17:00,601 --> 00:17:02,481 Speaker 2: you know, like you go into an office well dressed, 395 00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:05,801 Speaker 2: well kept, speaks well, presents themselves well. And that for 396 00:17:05,881 --> 00:17:08,281 Speaker 2: me has been kind of like my coach Tiana and 397 00:17:08,281 --> 00:17:11,400 Speaker 2: my persona. Yeah, and I haven't intentionally meant to do that, 398 00:17:11,521 --> 00:17:14,160 Speaker 2: but what I noticed is that I was like hiding 399 00:17:14,201 --> 00:17:16,961 Speaker 2: behind the version of me who was just a coach. 400 00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:19,561 Speaker 2: And it's not a bad thing, but it was like 401 00:17:19,561 --> 00:17:21,640 Speaker 2: that became my world. It became my everything, and I 402 00:17:21,721 --> 00:17:23,681 Speaker 2: really didn't make a lot of space for every other 403 00:17:23,721 --> 00:17:26,080 Speaker 2: facet of who I am as a woman. And then 404 00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:28,321 Speaker 2: I started to come and do this podcast and do 405 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:30,481 Speaker 2: things like this and show more of myself. 406 00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:31,241 Speaker 1: And then I. 407 00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:34,520 Speaker 2: Started to realize that I was almost like grieving coach Tiana, 408 00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:37,801 Speaker 2: because whilst yes, there is an element of that being me, 409 00:17:38,561 --> 00:17:40,881 Speaker 2: it's not all of me. Yeah, but I was presenting 410 00:17:40,921 --> 00:17:41,600 Speaker 2: myself as. 411 00:17:41,481 --> 00:17:44,001 Speaker 1: All of that. You had to grieve that for yourself, 412 00:17:44,001 --> 00:17:47,001 Speaker 1: but also your online presence and like introduce these news 413 00:17:47,041 --> 00:17:48,880 Speaker 1: parts of you, and I know there was fear for 414 00:17:48,921 --> 00:17:51,720 Speaker 1: you around will people accept this? Like will they like 415 00:17:51,761 --> 00:17:53,761 Speaker 1: this kind of content? And then when you didn't get 416 00:17:53,801 --> 00:17:55,281 Speaker 1: as many views whatever, you be like, oh my people 417 00:17:55,281 --> 00:17:57,281 Speaker 1: want my coaching videos. Yes. And it's been this dip 418 00:17:57,321 --> 00:17:58,920 Speaker 1: in and out of just being like, Okay, well, I 419 00:17:58,961 --> 00:18:01,240 Speaker 1: just have to show up as me, regardless of the numbers, 420 00:18:01,321 --> 00:18:03,721 Speaker 1: regardless of what people may think, like I want to 421 00:18:03,761 --> 00:18:05,400 Speaker 1: show all these sides for me because this is me 422 00:18:05,801 --> 00:18:06,640 Speaker 1: and that's what I thought. 423 00:18:06,681 --> 00:18:08,841 Speaker 2: I had this story that people only wanted to see 424 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,961 Speaker 2: me as Coach Tiana. Yeah, and so I posted three 425 00:18:10,961 --> 00:18:13,200 Speaker 2: times a day and I was posting only talking videos 426 00:18:13,201 --> 00:18:16,920 Speaker 2: on the educational based content. And yeah, it felt easy 427 00:18:17,001 --> 00:18:19,921 Speaker 2: to do that, easy to be presented as that, but 428 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:22,161 Speaker 2: it also didn't feel fully authentic either. 429 00:18:22,481 --> 00:18:22,600 Speaker 1: Well. 430 00:18:22,681 --> 00:18:25,321 Speaker 2: Fun, it wasn't as fun. Yeah, I don't get me wrong, 431 00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:27,600 Speaker 2: I love it. Yeah, I really get a huge kick 432 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:30,321 Speaker 2: out of it. Mentally, it stimulates me so much. I'm 433 00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:33,481 Speaker 2: like fuck, yeah, yeah, but it was becoming less and 434 00:18:33,561 --> 00:18:34,041 Speaker 2: less fun. 435 00:18:34,201 --> 00:18:37,081 Speaker 1: Yeah, you're finding the balance of incorporating all of it. 436 00:18:37,321 --> 00:18:39,321 Speaker 2: I literally thought that people wouldn't follow me anymore if 437 00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:40,160 Speaker 2: I wasn't Coach Tiana. 438 00:18:40,281 --> 00:18:41,640 Speaker 1: I was like the opposite. They want to see more 439 00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:43,240 Speaker 1: of you, and you know, I get to see you 440 00:18:43,281 --> 00:18:45,041 Speaker 1: behind the scenes and wan everyone else to experience this 441 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:45,721 Speaker 1: version of you. 442 00:18:45,801 --> 00:18:47,600 Speaker 2: And I had a story that, like, I wouldn't be 443 00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:50,440 Speaker 2: interesting enough to follow if I wasn't teaching them something. 444 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:51,321 Speaker 1: Yes, you know. 445 00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:53,880 Speaker 2: So that's been me on learning that story and really 446 00:18:53,921 --> 00:18:58,080 Speaker 2: grieving like the persona that is Coach Tiana and knowing 447 00:18:58,080 --> 00:18:59,840 Speaker 2: that like I can still be Coach Tiana but I 448 00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:02,080 Speaker 2: don't have to change who I am to do it, yeah, 449 00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:04,521 Speaker 2: you know, and then showing all different sides of my 450 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:07,960 Speaker 2: human as well, and like that's allowed and welcomed. And 451 00:19:08,201 --> 00:19:10,400 Speaker 2: the more that I've done that, the more authentic I feel, 452 00:19:10,681 --> 00:19:13,321 Speaker 2: the more myself I feel, the easier it feels to 453 00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:15,601 Speaker 2: discern who were for me, who were not, and all 454 00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:18,161 Speaker 2: that sort of stuff. That's really cool a refinement process 455 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,160 Speaker 2: of that. So I felt like I really had to 456 00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:23,120 Speaker 2: grieve that version of me, but in the best way 457 00:19:23,201 --> 00:19:25,521 Speaker 2: because grieving that version of me allowed me to find 458 00:19:25,521 --> 00:19:28,721 Speaker 2: more of me. Yes, and now the things that we 459 00:19:28,761 --> 00:19:31,120 Speaker 2: even talk about on the podcast, Coach Gianna would have 460 00:19:31,321 --> 00:19:34,241 Speaker 2: never shared that, But when I think about what I do, 461 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:37,241 Speaker 2: I'm like, of course that makes sense. Like my clients 462 00:19:37,281 --> 00:19:38,640 Speaker 2: say to me all the time on our one on 463 00:19:38,721 --> 00:19:41,600 Speaker 2: one sessions how much they love when I share openly 464 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:44,440 Speaker 2: about my personal experiences. But do I do that on 465 00:19:44,481 --> 00:19:45,961 Speaker 2: social media before? No? 466 00:19:46,201 --> 00:19:47,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely not. 467 00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:49,041 Speaker 2: But it's when they get into the container and my 468 00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:51,401 Speaker 2: this softer, vulnerable version of me that I actually am 469 00:19:51,521 --> 00:19:54,201 Speaker 2: that's really cool. So that's been a really pivotal thing 470 00:19:54,201 --> 00:19:54,921 Speaker 2: for me recently. 471 00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:58,041 Speaker 1: That's beautiful. Another thing we want to touch on too, 472 00:19:58,201 --> 00:20:00,920 Speaker 1: is like not only grieving old versions of yourself, but 473 00:20:01,041 --> 00:20:04,041 Speaker 1: grieving past relationships. Yeah. I don't know if you've heard 474 00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:06,521 Speaker 1: this before. I think it's a relationship coach that Steve 475 00:20:06,561 --> 00:20:08,080 Speaker 1: and I saw. I think I was just asking him 476 00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:11,281 Speaker 1: questions about couples he works with, and he said, in 477 00:20:11,321 --> 00:20:15,360 Speaker 1: a male female relationship, when they break up, the woman 478 00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:17,880 Speaker 1: has normally like grieved the relationship for at least a 479 00:20:17,961 --> 00:20:20,600 Speaker 1: year prior, so when it comes to breaking up, she's 480 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:23,200 Speaker 1: ready to go. But for the male comes a bit 481 00:20:23,241 --> 00:20:24,880 Speaker 1: of the shock, and then he goes through his grieving 482 00:20:24,921 --> 00:20:27,321 Speaker 1: process as it's happening. So he's like, you do look 483 00:20:27,321 --> 00:20:28,680 Speaker 1: like you don't even care, and she's like, I've been 484 00:20:28,681 --> 00:20:30,920 Speaker 1: caring for over a year and you haven't taken notice. 485 00:20:31,241 --> 00:20:34,041 Speaker 1: And I feel like in a friendship dynamic, that's happened 486 00:20:34,041 --> 00:20:37,201 Speaker 1: to me as I've grieved the friendship while we're still friends, 487 00:20:37,481 --> 00:20:40,201 Speaker 1: even though I know the friendship isn't aligned or isn't 488 00:20:40,321 --> 00:20:44,201 Speaker 1: lighting me up for Our conversations are different because we've changed, 489 00:20:44,241 --> 00:20:46,360 Speaker 1: we've become mothers now, we're just going on different paths. 490 00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:48,201 Speaker 1: We've got different things going to laugh where our opinions 491 00:20:48,201 --> 00:20:51,120 Speaker 1: have changed, and I've noticed that in a particular friendship 492 00:20:51,201 --> 00:20:54,761 Speaker 1: dynamic that it just wasn't feeling good anymore. It wasn't 493 00:20:54,801 --> 00:20:59,120 Speaker 1: anything bad happened, it just wasn't feeling aligned. But I 494 00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:01,600 Speaker 1: were desperate to make that friendship work, so I just 495 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:03,680 Speaker 1: I remember feeling the grief of like I wish we 496 00:21:03,681 --> 00:21:05,240 Speaker 1: could just go back to how connected were you used 497 00:21:05,281 --> 00:21:08,161 Speaker 1: to be, But the connection's not there, and I can't 498 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:10,360 Speaker 1: put my finger on exactly what it is, but I 499 00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:13,041 Speaker 1: remember grieving that friendship and then like as time went on, 500 00:21:13,120 --> 00:21:15,720 Speaker 1: we spent less and less time together and now we 501 00:21:15,801 --> 00:21:19,481 Speaker 1: don't really talk. There was that whole grieving process. Because 502 00:21:19,521 --> 00:21:23,001 Speaker 1: you change, they change, the situation, change, life changes. It's 503 00:21:23,041 --> 00:21:27,120 Speaker 1: just a part of the journey, unfortunately. But reaving relationship 504 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,521 Speaker 1: dynamics is really tough as well. And I've done that 505 00:21:29,521 --> 00:21:31,881 Speaker 1: with Steve as well. You know, when I first met 506 00:21:31,921 --> 00:21:34,200 Speaker 1: Steve to who he is now, he used to be 507 00:21:34,321 --> 00:21:37,960 Speaker 1: so you wouldn't believe. It's so social, so extroverted. He 508 00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,801 Speaker 1: was the glue. Steve would organize everything without big crew, 509 00:21:40,801 --> 00:21:42,801 Speaker 1: with a crew of twenty friends, would do everything together 510 00:21:42,801 --> 00:21:46,041 Speaker 1: on the weekends, parties like events. He was organized a 511 00:21:46,041 --> 00:21:48,281 Speaker 1: big limo and organize everyone's drinks and like book the 512 00:21:48,321 --> 00:21:50,281 Speaker 1: restaurants and if Steve didn't go, no one went, like 513 00:21:50,360 --> 00:21:52,960 Speaker 1: it was him. And now he's so anti social and 514 00:21:52,961 --> 00:21:54,641 Speaker 1: just wants to be home with his kids and live 515 00:21:54,681 --> 00:21:58,680 Speaker 1: dad life. But yet there's grieving. Oh okay, that was 516 00:21:58,721 --> 00:22:01,121 Speaker 1: an old version of him. Now now he's grown involved 517 00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:03,921 Speaker 1: and values different things. And I remember going through those 518 00:22:03,921 --> 00:22:05,721 Speaker 1: pros and it wasn't like a, oh, I don't lie 519 00:22:05,721 --> 00:22:08,360 Speaker 1: this new version. It's like, oh, it's just different. So 520 00:22:08,441 --> 00:22:11,841 Speaker 1: our relationship dynamic changes then, And I'm sure there's been 521 00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:13,641 Speaker 1: times where he's felt like that with me where I've 522 00:22:13,761 --> 00:22:17,640 Speaker 1: changed and gone through motherhood and postpart and depression and 523 00:22:17,681 --> 00:22:21,160 Speaker 1: then found my spark again and you know, changed my 524 00:22:21,201 --> 00:22:24,200 Speaker 1: careers and I've found different versions of myself. It's like 525 00:22:24,481 --> 00:22:27,960 Speaker 1: it can be hard equally as exciting as equally grieving 526 00:22:28,001 --> 00:22:28,321 Speaker 1: it and. 527 00:22:28,281 --> 00:22:30,241 Speaker 2: Doing it with somebody else as well, because you're navigating 528 00:22:30,281 --> 00:22:32,761 Speaker 2: through different people, not just one. Yeah, when you go 529 00:22:32,801 --> 00:22:35,321 Speaker 2: through your own interunnel shifts, you're experiencing it on your own, 530 00:22:35,360 --> 00:22:37,160 Speaker 2: you're like, wow, okay, I'm growing. But like when you 531 00:22:37,281 --> 00:22:39,240 Speaker 2: have another person in the mix, Yeah, you have to 532 00:22:39,321 --> 00:22:40,721 Speaker 2: get to know each other all over again. 533 00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:41,281 Speaker 1: Definitely. 534 00:22:41,481 --> 00:22:43,801 Speaker 2: Imagine it's been like that throughout the seventeen years. Yep. 535 00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:46,001 Speaker 1: And even work relationships, like I've worked with a lot 536 00:22:46,001 --> 00:22:48,600 Speaker 1: of friends over the years, and when they don't work 537 00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:51,481 Speaker 1: for me anymore and the friendship fizzles out, I'm like, oh, 538 00:22:51,681 --> 00:22:54,281 Speaker 1: that was a work friendship. Oh that wasn't a proper friendship. 539 00:22:54,321 --> 00:22:56,361 Speaker 1: It was really hard, and I had to grieve what 540 00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:59,601 Speaker 1: I thought our friendship was. And I had to obviously 541 00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:01,880 Speaker 1: turn it around to just be like in acceptance and 542 00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:04,841 Speaker 1: gratitude for that season. Yeah, some people I just meant 543 00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:06,360 Speaker 1: to be your life for a season or a reason, 544 00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:09,041 Speaker 1: and that work friendship it was that, you know. And 545 00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:11,480 Speaker 1: other work friendships have continued on, like Mega worked for me, 546 00:23:11,561 --> 00:23:13,280 Speaker 1: she's a PA for a while, and we've continued our 547 00:23:13,281 --> 00:23:15,160 Speaker 1: friendship and it's beautiful. But there has been some that 548 00:23:15,241 --> 00:23:16,801 Speaker 1: once they have gone and never hear from them, or 549 00:23:16,801 --> 00:23:18,360 Speaker 1: it's like every now and again, a little swipe up 550 00:23:18,360 --> 00:23:20,080 Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh, we're not as close as what 551 00:23:20,120 --> 00:23:20,401 Speaker 1: we work. 552 00:23:20,561 --> 00:23:23,041 Speaker 2: That's hard though, when you have that realization and you're 553 00:23:23,041 --> 00:23:24,640 Speaker 2: like all of that coasty. 554 00:23:24,521 --> 00:23:27,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, you've just here to work. But that's also Okay, 555 00:23:27,241 --> 00:23:29,120 Speaker 1: they serve their purpose and did an amazing job at 556 00:23:29,120 --> 00:23:31,400 Speaker 1: their job when you're better do it without them, and 557 00:23:31,481 --> 00:23:32,441 Speaker 1: you provided them a job. 558 00:23:32,481 --> 00:23:34,640 Speaker 2: Now you're just in different seasons. Yeah, and it just 559 00:23:34,681 --> 00:23:37,321 Speaker 2: so happens that you're just on different paths. Yeah, different places. 560 00:23:37,321 --> 00:23:38,920 Speaker 1: And they'll make new work friends and go and have 561 00:23:38,961 --> 00:23:40,801 Speaker 1: those friendships and that might be for a season two 562 00:23:40,801 --> 00:23:43,001 Speaker 1: and that's cool and it's what it is. But the 563 00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:44,840 Speaker 1: grief is real. Yeah, that's what we want to talk 564 00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:46,760 Speaker 1: about and acknowledge because a lot of people don't talk 565 00:23:46,801 --> 00:23:49,041 Speaker 1: about this, Like I've never heard anyone talk about this. True. 566 00:23:49,120 --> 00:23:51,201 Speaker 1: Soonet anyone listening to be like, you're not alone. Yeah, 567 00:23:51,241 --> 00:23:53,481 Speaker 1: we go through this too, do you'll go through this everyone? 568 00:23:53,521 --> 00:23:55,761 Speaker 1: Many of people are. Yeah, so true. 569 00:23:55,801 --> 00:23:57,801 Speaker 2: Like what you said about what happens in friendships, I've 570 00:23:57,801 --> 00:23:58,721 Speaker 2: had that in relationships. 571 00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:00,921 Speaker 1: We you have it in friendships. I have it in relationships. 572 00:24:00,921 --> 00:24:03,160 Speaker 1: Talk about this all the time. This is a common 573 00:24:03,201 --> 00:24:07,161 Speaker 1: conversation with anxiousness around relationships. You're into it, mind's friendship? 574 00:24:07,281 --> 00:24:09,761 Speaker 2: Yes, Oh my god, I'm like anxious Tiana in a 575 00:24:09,761 --> 00:24:11,761 Speaker 2: relationship is not confident Tiana. 576 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:14,120 Speaker 1: And anxious Ashley is not confident in friendship and it 577 00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:16,561 Speaker 1: stems back to like literally primary school and when you're younger. 578 00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:19,241 Speaker 1: There so many reasons why we like this, but it's 579 00:24:19,321 --> 00:24:20,880 Speaker 1: so real and it's so hard. 580 00:24:21,321 --> 00:24:24,561 Speaker 2: Is I've had that experience you mentioned before around grieving 581 00:24:24,561 --> 00:24:27,561 Speaker 2: a relationship before actually leaving the relationship. Yes, because it 582 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:30,201 Speaker 2: is that you're fighting for the connection to stay plugged 583 00:24:30,201 --> 00:24:33,480 Speaker 2: in that you're like over extending yourself and you're you know, 584 00:24:33,561 --> 00:24:36,280 Speaker 2: overcompensating for the other person where they're not showing up 585 00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:38,441 Speaker 2: or where you think that they're not showing up. Yeah, 586 00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:42,761 Speaker 2: like keep the glue. 587 00:24:41,481 --> 00:24:42,201 Speaker 1: To the relationship. 588 00:24:42,241 --> 00:24:44,641 Speaker 2: And then I feel like this thing happens internally where 589 00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:45,561 Speaker 2: you just shift. 590 00:24:45,441 --> 00:24:47,120 Speaker 1: You do, but it can't explain it. 591 00:24:47,201 --> 00:24:48,961 Speaker 2: No, But it's a long progression. It's like a build 592 00:24:49,041 --> 00:24:50,880 Speaker 2: up of time and time again feeling something and then 593 00:24:50,921 --> 00:24:54,120 Speaker 2: you just and you unplug right and then you're just like, oh, 594 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:57,640 Speaker 2: I get it now, this isn't it. But that grieving process, Yes, 595 00:24:57,761 --> 00:25:00,041 Speaker 2: you just know, I think, because it doesn't matter what 596 00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:03,160 Speaker 2: point in the grieving process you are, or what the 597 00:25:03,201 --> 00:25:05,960 Speaker 2: reasoning is or how the contact of the situation is, 598 00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:06,961 Speaker 2: it hurts the same. 599 00:25:07,041 --> 00:25:09,600 Speaker 1: It does. It is such a good point. It hurts 600 00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:09,961 Speaker 1: the same. 601 00:25:10,041 --> 00:25:13,600 Speaker 2: It does whether you're being broken up with and it's 602 00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:15,360 Speaker 2: the person you want to spend your life with. The 603 00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:18,321 Speaker 2: grieving process is hard. Whether you're the person doing it. 604 00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:21,160 Speaker 2: The grieving process is hard. Whether it's a friendship, it 605 00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:21,681 Speaker 2: doesn't matter. 606 00:25:21,761 --> 00:25:23,160 Speaker 1: Like the grieving process is hard. 607 00:25:23,521 --> 00:25:25,361 Speaker 2: Oh, shit is uncomfortable. 608 00:25:25,441 --> 00:25:27,360 Speaker 1: I remember asking this is so offt topic. I remember 609 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:29,761 Speaker 1: asking you, But it's just interesting because I haven't been 610 00:25:29,801 --> 00:25:31,801 Speaker 1: broken up with. I've only done the breaking up. Remember 611 00:25:31,801 --> 00:25:34,001 Speaker 1: I asked you, and I asked Steve too, what's harder 612 00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:36,640 Speaker 1: being broken up with or you doing the breaking up? 613 00:25:36,761 --> 00:25:37,400 Speaker 1: What did you say? 614 00:25:37,961 --> 00:25:40,121 Speaker 2: I think I said being broken up with, and. 615 00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:41,960 Speaker 1: Steve said the same thing. Because you're out of control 616 00:25:42,001 --> 00:25:43,521 Speaker 1: and you have no choice, So you might want to 617 00:25:43,561 --> 00:25:45,761 Speaker 1: be with that person. Yeah, and you have no choice 618 00:25:45,761 --> 00:25:47,400 Speaker 1: but to move on. I definitely think. 619 00:25:47,241 --> 00:25:49,001 Speaker 2: It's harder, especially if you're in love with the person, 620 00:25:49,481 --> 00:25:52,041 Speaker 2: predicted the future vision of your life with them and 621 00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:54,440 Speaker 2: all that sort of stuff. I do think it's harder. 622 00:25:54,681 --> 00:25:56,720 Speaker 2: But also when somebody else breaks up with you and 623 00:25:56,761 --> 00:25:59,360 Speaker 2: they're honest with you, it allows you to kind of detach. 624 00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:02,240 Speaker 2: I feel like if they're honest with you, you can 625 00:26:02,321 --> 00:26:04,321 Speaker 2: kind of like okay, like I respect myself enough to 626 00:26:04,321 --> 00:26:05,801 Speaker 2: know that this person will want to be with me. 627 00:26:05,921 --> 00:26:08,640 Speaker 1: That's okay. You're as conscious as what you are, Like 628 00:26:08,761 --> 00:26:09,721 Speaker 1: most people would not find that. 629 00:26:10,321 --> 00:26:12,281 Speaker 2: Otherwise, I find if you're the one doing the breaking 630 00:26:12,360 --> 00:26:14,281 Speaker 2: up and that person still wants you, you have to 631 00:26:14,281 --> 00:26:17,081 Speaker 2: have really strong boundaries. I think it's sometimes to go guilty. 632 00:26:17,241 --> 00:26:19,440 Speaker 2: You feel guilty, it's easy to go back and entertain 633 00:26:19,481 --> 00:26:22,801 Speaker 2: it because it feels nice and all the things. I 634 00:26:22,801 --> 00:26:24,241 Speaker 2: don't know that makes sense. 635 00:26:24,241 --> 00:26:25,840 Speaker 1: It does. I've always done the brain if I only 636 00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:28,440 Speaker 1: had three partners, but my two before Steve, like I 637 00:26:28,561 --> 00:26:30,080 Speaker 1: broke up with them, Yeah, and I just felt like 638 00:26:30,120 --> 00:26:32,961 Speaker 1: I was destroying their world and I felt so guilty 639 00:26:33,120 --> 00:26:35,481 Speaker 1: and it was an awful feeling. But then when Steve 640 00:26:35,521 --> 00:26:37,480 Speaker 1: explained it on the other end, it's like when you 641 00:26:37,481 --> 00:26:39,001 Speaker 1: want to be with someone and they don't want to 642 00:26:39,001 --> 00:26:40,961 Speaker 1: be with you, you can't do anything to change their mind, 643 00:26:41,321 --> 00:26:43,000 Speaker 1: and then you feel you don't want to beg for them, 644 00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:44,881 Speaker 1: but you kind of do because you want them so much, 645 00:26:44,921 --> 00:26:47,160 Speaker 1: and you'll do anything for them. You'll abandon yourself just 646 00:26:47,201 --> 00:26:48,801 Speaker 1: to make it work because you love them so much. 647 00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:50,640 Speaker 1: She's like, it's the worst feeling in the world. 648 00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:54,080 Speaker 2: Because you're willing to do well whatever to make it work. 649 00:26:54,360 --> 00:26:56,641 Speaker 1: Yeah, and then they're just like, Nope, this is my decision. 650 00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:59,001 Speaker 2: You know something else on the topic of grieving, Yeah, 651 00:26:59,001 --> 00:27:02,321 Speaker 2: the past relationship of mine. When I left that relationship, 652 00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:04,680 Speaker 2: I felt like I had to grieve the version of 653 00:27:04,681 --> 00:27:06,281 Speaker 2: myself that I was when I was with him. 654 00:27:06,441 --> 00:27:09,921 Speaker 1: Oh yeah. I loved who I was. 655 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:11,961 Speaker 2: When I was with him, Yeah, in terms of how 656 00:27:12,001 --> 00:27:14,920 Speaker 2: I showed up, my level of commitment, all of these things. 657 00:27:15,561 --> 00:27:17,761 Speaker 2: And then when I wasn't with him, I thought, oh 658 00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:19,360 Speaker 2: my god, if I'm not with him anymore, I'm going 659 00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:22,041 Speaker 2: to lose this version of myself. Yeah, And so I 660 00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:23,600 Speaker 2: felt like, in a way, I actually did have to 661 00:27:23,681 --> 00:27:25,321 Speaker 2: grieve a version of me that I was when I 662 00:27:25,360 --> 00:27:27,281 Speaker 2: was with him, because one, I wasn't being my authentic 663 00:27:27,281 --> 00:27:29,080 Speaker 2: self fully, not one hundred percent. 664 00:27:29,521 --> 00:27:30,480 Speaker 1: And then I yeah, I had. 665 00:27:30,321 --> 00:27:32,601 Speaker 2: To grieve yeah, yeah, the parts of me that kind 666 00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:33,441 Speaker 2: of left with him. 667 00:27:33,681 --> 00:27:35,120 Speaker 1: That makes sense, Does that make sense? I think a 668 00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:38,321 Speaker 1: lot of people will be able to relate to that. Yeah. Oh. 669 00:27:38,360 --> 00:27:40,241 Speaker 1: It's a lot of grief in general, And no matter 670 00:27:40,281 --> 00:27:42,801 Speaker 1: what situation, grief is just it hurts the same. It 671 00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:45,200 Speaker 1: does it had the same We all go through it, 672 00:27:45,241 --> 00:27:47,401 Speaker 1: we all experience it. That's something collectively that we all 673 00:27:47,441 --> 00:27:47,841 Speaker 1: have to go. 674 00:27:47,801 --> 00:27:49,920 Speaker 2: Through, and we'll be here crying to each other and 675 00:27:50,001 --> 00:27:51,600 Speaker 2: grieving more future things. 676 00:27:52,961 --> 00:27:55,480 Speaker 1: So come join us, Come join us, sir, Thank you, 677 00:27:55,481 --> 00:27:58,001 Speaker 1: come again, So thank you for joining us. We hope 678 00:27:58,001 --> 00:28:00,880 Speaker 1: you love that episode. We'd love also if you guys 679 00:28:00,921 --> 00:28:02,801 Speaker 1: love any of our episodes. If you wanted to leave 680 00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:05,161 Speaker 1: a review on Apple or Spotify, I really appreciate it. 681 00:28:05,201 --> 00:28:07,761 Speaker 1: Help support our podcast. We love to grow it and 682 00:28:07,761 --> 00:28:09,801 Speaker 1: get more guests on and keep expanding and reaching out 683 00:28:09,801 --> 00:28:11,920 Speaker 1: to more people, or even screen shot upload it to 684 00:28:12,001 --> 00:28:14,080 Speaker 1: your socials and tag us. We love seeing that as well. 685 00:28:14,321 --> 00:28:15,920 Speaker 1: If you just scroll right down to the bottom, you 686 00:28:15,921 --> 00:28:18,080 Speaker 1: can leave a star review and leave a written a review, 687 00:28:18,120 --> 00:28:20,441 Speaker 1: and we really appreciate it. It's really nice to read 688 00:28:20,441 --> 00:28:23,721 Speaker 1: the nice ones amongst some of the not so nice. 689 00:28:23,801 --> 00:28:26,200 Speaker 2: That's right, and also as well, you know you're leaving 690 00:28:26,241 --> 00:28:28,160 Speaker 2: a review might be the reason why someone looks at 691 00:28:28,201 --> 00:28:29,920 Speaker 2: the podcast and go oh wow, yeah, like if this 692 00:28:30,001 --> 00:28:31,841 Speaker 2: a chance and that can help one more woman who 693 00:28:31,921 --> 00:28:33,601 Speaker 2: is you know, feeling lost or feeling like she needs 694 00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:35,761 Speaker 2: a little bit more support going through something hard and 695 00:28:35,761 --> 00:28:38,361 Speaker 2: we would really appreciate that. So thanks guys, we will 696 00:28:38,361 --> 00:28:46,561 Speaker 2: see you in the next episode. Bye.