1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:13,361 Speaker 1: Apologie production an easier advice. Are you okay? What happened? 2 00:00:13,961 --> 00:00:16,641 Speaker 1: Promise it won't be too much? Bring it in. 3 00:00:17,921 --> 00:00:19,720 Speaker 2: Welcome to our Bestie segment. 4 00:00:25,201 --> 00:00:28,201 Speaker 1: This is the place for you. Good morning, good afternoon, 5 00:00:28,201 --> 00:00:30,401 Speaker 1: good evening wherever you guys are listening to us in 6 00:00:30,441 --> 00:00:33,241 Speaker 1: your car while you're cooking, grocery shopping at the gym. 7 00:00:33,321 --> 00:00:35,361 Speaker 1: Thanks for joining us. We absolutely love and appreciate you 8 00:00:35,441 --> 00:00:38,041 Speaker 1: guys so much. If you haven't realized, we're in your 9 00:00:38,081 --> 00:00:40,121 Speaker 1: ears four times a week at the moment. Twice a 10 00:00:40,161 --> 00:00:43,040 Speaker 1: week is our bestI Advice where we have anonymous submissions 11 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:45,321 Speaker 1: right in. We don't know who you are, but you're 12 00:00:45,321 --> 00:00:47,601 Speaker 1: write in all the details about a sticky situation or 13 00:00:47,601 --> 00:00:49,560 Speaker 1: maybe a situation where you don't have someone to talk to, 14 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:53,241 Speaker 1: and we give our unfiltered, raw honest advice to you 15 00:00:53,321 --> 00:00:55,281 Speaker 1: as we would each other if we were in your situation. 16 00:00:55,761 --> 00:00:56,761 Speaker 1: So I would have forgot today. 17 00:00:56,921 --> 00:01:00,321 Speaker 2: All right, let's go. I'm feeling really emotionally unavailable to 18 00:01:00,321 --> 00:01:04,441 Speaker 2: pretty much everyone, especially my hobby. I've had a lot 19 00:01:04,441 --> 00:01:06,640 Speaker 2: going on in life from the last few years, plus 20 00:01:06,721 --> 00:01:09,481 Speaker 2: kids plus businesses, so I know my stress is high 21 00:01:09,521 --> 00:01:11,401 Speaker 2: and I'm definitely working on that with a nature path 22 00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:14,640 Speaker 2: in brackets, but I'm really feeling it at the most 23 00:01:14,721 --> 00:01:16,881 Speaker 2: with my hubby. I feel like it's a mission to 24 00:01:16,881 --> 00:01:20,680 Speaker 2: get spicy, and honestly, I feel so lazy. I've noticed 25 00:01:20,681 --> 00:01:23,001 Speaker 2: my body has changed a bit as well. I'm not 26 00:01:23,161 --> 00:01:26,441 Speaker 2: orgasming like I used to, like, not at all during sex. 27 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,761 Speaker 2: So my question is how do I try and become 28 00:01:29,801 --> 00:01:33,280 Speaker 2: emotionally available again. I'm not that old, and honestly, I 29 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:34,280 Speaker 2: miss the spicy me. 30 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:39,881 Speaker 1: Oh that's tough. Honestly, the first thing that comes to 31 00:01:39,961 --> 00:01:42,601 Speaker 1: my mind is when you're under stress, it's like a 32 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:45,121 Speaker 1: s switch has been flicked off. Oh, Parka is on 33 00:01:45,161 --> 00:01:47,961 Speaker 1: top of it. Oh boy, do I know? It's so 34 00:01:48,761 --> 00:01:51,081 Speaker 1: It is so hard, And then to actually find time 35 00:01:51,121 --> 00:01:52,681 Speaker 1: where you're both in the mood and you're not getting 36 00:01:52,721 --> 00:01:55,201 Speaker 1: interrupted by children. I vent town about this all the time, 37 00:01:55,241 --> 00:01:58,041 Speaker 1: Like Steve and I literally get interrupted nearly every single 38 00:01:58,041 --> 00:02:00,881 Speaker 1: time we try and have sex. You do it's small, Oh, 39 00:02:00,961 --> 00:02:04,721 Speaker 1: it's such a moodkiller. Like honestly, but I think stress 40 00:02:04,761 --> 00:02:06,961 Speaker 1: is the underlying thing here, which you already know and 41 00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:09,361 Speaker 1: you're already working with a natch path. But I always 42 00:02:09,401 --> 00:02:11,601 Speaker 1: think there is more that we can do day to 43 00:02:11,681 --> 00:02:14,481 Speaker 1: day to help our stress. I spoke about this in 44 00:02:14,481 --> 00:02:17,521 Speaker 1: another episode. But you know, with our nervous system, say 45 00:02:17,561 --> 00:02:19,721 Speaker 1: with water, you check how much water you're drinking each day. 46 00:02:19,721 --> 00:02:21,561 Speaker 1: I've got it, my three leaders. You're constantly drinking throughout 47 00:02:21,561 --> 00:02:23,400 Speaker 1: the day. You're conscious of it because you know it's important. 48 00:02:24,041 --> 00:02:25,800 Speaker 1: We should be doing that for our nervous system. When 49 00:02:25,841 --> 00:02:28,321 Speaker 1: you wake up in the morning, it's like, okay, where 50 00:02:28,321 --> 00:02:31,120 Speaker 1: am I at? From one to ten? Ten being so stressed, 51 00:02:31,201 --> 00:02:33,361 Speaker 1: one being god, I feel really true and really good. 52 00:02:33,641 --> 00:02:35,161 Speaker 1: Wherever you're at. We want to bring it down to 53 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:36,721 Speaker 1: under five. So if you wake up when you're at 54 00:02:36,761 --> 00:02:39,361 Speaker 1: a seven, it's like, Okay, I'm feeling a bit heightened. 55 00:02:39,441 --> 00:02:41,601 Speaker 1: Someone's crying. I've got an hour to get ready. I'm 56 00:02:41,641 --> 00:02:43,840 Speaker 1: not feeling good. What can I do to bring myself 57 00:02:43,881 --> 00:02:46,120 Speaker 1: back to a four or five? Okay, I'm going to 58 00:02:46,201 --> 00:02:48,481 Speaker 1: take three minutes. Yeah, I'm gonna go out in the 59 00:02:48,481 --> 00:02:50,561 Speaker 1: sun if the sun's up, which it is now nice 60 00:02:50,561 --> 00:02:51,960 Speaker 1: and early. Or I'm going to put on a three 61 00:02:52,001 --> 00:02:54,521 Speaker 1: minute breathwak meditation. Or I'm going to have a long 62 00:02:54,561 --> 00:02:56,881 Speaker 1: hot shower just to myself. I'm gonna put some music 63 00:02:56,960 --> 00:03:00,240 Speaker 1: on whatever it is, just three minutes just to yourself, 64 00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:03,400 Speaker 1: and throughout the day find more pockets of moments like that, 65 00:03:03,481 --> 00:03:05,681 Speaker 1: because over the span of a week and a month, 66 00:03:06,041 --> 00:03:09,201 Speaker 1: you're taking long, big breath really adds up. It does, 67 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:11,641 Speaker 1: And what breath does. Keep going back to breath is 68 00:03:11,641 --> 00:03:15,120 Speaker 1: because when you breathe slowly, you actually tell your body 69 00:03:15,161 --> 00:03:18,000 Speaker 1: that it's safe to be, it's safe to feel, it's 70 00:03:18,001 --> 00:03:21,001 Speaker 1: safe to think, it's safe to do whatever it needs 71 00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:24,401 Speaker 1: to do. The more safety you create within your body, 72 00:03:25,161 --> 00:03:27,201 Speaker 1: the horny you're gonna get. Yeah, if you are in 73 00:03:27,361 --> 00:03:30,361 Speaker 1: fight or flight, you're not ready for sex. You're fucking 74 00:03:30,361 --> 00:03:32,280 Speaker 1: worried about what's happening. Yeah, and my kids alive. The 75 00:03:32,361 --> 00:03:34,520 Speaker 1: dinner cooked book, the dentist appointment. I've got to do 76 00:03:34,561 --> 00:03:36,961 Speaker 1: this to the business. My husband needs this. There's noise. 77 00:03:36,961 --> 00:03:39,641 Speaker 1: Everyone'm over stimulated. Oh my gosh, I can't think. If 78 00:03:39,641 --> 00:03:41,801 Speaker 1: you can't even think straight, how are you going to 79 00:03:41,801 --> 00:03:43,801 Speaker 1: feel any pleasure or even like want to be in 80 00:03:43,841 --> 00:03:46,561 Speaker 1: the mood to entertain that. So I'm not surprised that 81 00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:48,761 Speaker 1: you're not having orgasms and you're not feeling like, you're 82 00:03:48,801 --> 00:03:52,761 Speaker 1: not feeling spicy. It takes a lot of conscious effort. 83 00:03:52,761 --> 00:03:54,681 Speaker 1: And I know because I've been there. I've had two kids, 84 00:03:54,721 --> 00:03:57,921 Speaker 1: I run multiple businesses, had two brain surgeries last year. Like, 85 00:03:58,041 --> 00:04:01,161 Speaker 1: I get how hard it can be sometimes, but it 86 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,201 Speaker 1: is a conscious effort. And the way I always look 87 00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:05,561 Speaker 1: at things, that's like, choose your hard use the heart 88 00:04:05,561 --> 00:04:07,761 Speaker 1: of continuing to be in fight or flight and not 89 00:04:07,801 --> 00:04:10,561 Speaker 1: feeling spicy, not feeling it out myself and just being 90 00:04:10,601 --> 00:04:13,081 Speaker 1: on that fight or flight energy anxious state all the time. 91 00:04:13,241 --> 00:04:15,721 Speaker 1: Or I can choose the heart of actually implementing things 92 00:04:16,001 --> 00:04:19,801 Speaker 1: that help my body relax, help me feel calm, more feminine, 93 00:04:19,881 --> 00:04:22,561 Speaker 1: or soft, more slow. And we think those little pockets 94 00:04:22,561 --> 00:04:24,760 Speaker 1: of moments won't really make a difference. I promise you 95 00:04:24,801 --> 00:04:28,521 Speaker 1: they do. Those little micro moments add up, they make 96 00:04:28,681 --> 00:04:31,121 Speaker 1: the world a difference when it's done consistently. It's not 97 00:04:31,161 --> 00:04:32,361 Speaker 1: just doing a couple of brests in the morning and 98 00:04:32,401 --> 00:04:34,921 Speaker 1: then leaving to next week or getting a massage once 99 00:04:34,961 --> 00:04:37,601 Speaker 1: a month. It doesn't work like that. It's like your 100 00:04:37,641 --> 00:04:40,001 Speaker 1: consistent actions day to day are going to make the 101 00:04:40,001 --> 00:04:40,681 Speaker 1: world a difference. 102 00:04:40,841 --> 00:04:43,561 Speaker 2: Absolutely, yeah, absolute, mic job. I don't think I need 103 00:04:43,561 --> 00:04:44,121 Speaker 2: to say a word. 104 00:04:45,241 --> 00:04:45,361 Speaker 1: No. 105 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:47,361 Speaker 2: That's beautiful and obviously, like there's only so much that 106 00:04:47,401 --> 00:04:49,641 Speaker 2: I can relate to this, because one, I am not 107 00:04:49,641 --> 00:04:51,400 Speaker 2: married and I don't have children, so I can only 108 00:04:51,761 --> 00:04:54,200 Speaker 2: understand to a certain degree. But I think if I 109 00:04:54,201 --> 00:04:56,241 Speaker 2: can relate it back to my own experiences, there have 110 00:04:56,281 --> 00:04:59,080 Speaker 2: been times where I've either been so stressed or disconnected 111 00:04:59,121 --> 00:05:01,401 Speaker 2: to myself and I've been in a relationship and I've 112 00:05:01,481 --> 00:05:05,880 Speaker 2: lost that spiciness, I've lost that sexual desire that almost 113 00:05:05,921 --> 00:05:09,200 Speaker 2: like that seductress, that flirty, fun, playful version of me. 114 00:05:10,001 --> 00:05:12,121 Speaker 2: What I've noticed was in those moments, I was actually 115 00:05:12,201 --> 00:05:15,721 Speaker 2: really sexually disconnected to myself, you know. And so obviously 116 00:05:15,721 --> 00:05:17,881 Speaker 2: this is different because you know, I'm sure you have 117 00:05:18,161 --> 00:05:19,681 Speaker 2: a lot less time with all the things that you've 118 00:05:19,681 --> 00:05:22,001 Speaker 2: got going on, But i'd be curious to know what 119 00:05:22,041 --> 00:05:24,241 Speaker 2: your self pleasure practice looks like, and if you even 120 00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:26,001 Speaker 2: have one. I don't think she has, you know, because 121 00:05:26,001 --> 00:05:28,561 Speaker 2: when you're so stressed and so like at that tether, 122 00:05:28,761 --> 00:05:32,041 Speaker 2: it's so hard to even consider any of those things. However, 123 00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:34,841 Speaker 2: I believe when it comes to self pleasure, it kind 124 00:05:34,841 --> 00:05:35,961 Speaker 2: of needs to be one of those things you have 125 00:05:36,041 --> 00:05:39,921 Speaker 2: to make time for because you can only experience so 126 00:05:40,001 --> 00:05:42,841 Speaker 2: much with your partner when you've only met yourself so deep, 127 00:05:43,081 --> 00:05:46,520 Speaker 2: and so I think in my experience it's been being 128 00:05:46,561 --> 00:05:48,841 Speaker 2: willing to bring that back in, create like a structure 129 00:05:48,921 --> 00:05:50,880 Speaker 2: around that of like if you can. Obviously this is 130 00:05:50,921 --> 00:05:53,400 Speaker 2: dependent on your time, so whatever that looks like for you, 131 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:56,321 Speaker 2: creating a thirty minute pocket where you're just like connecting 132 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:59,121 Speaker 2: with yourself, touching your body again, listening to music, putting 133 00:05:59,121 --> 00:06:01,440 Speaker 2: on lingerie for yourself, or even just like trying to 134 00:06:01,481 --> 00:06:04,801 Speaker 2: start instilling the behavior of you getting into that energy, 135 00:06:05,481 --> 00:06:08,201 Speaker 2: but with yourself, not with your partner, Because if you 136 00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:11,281 Speaker 2: can reconnect with yourself again, and then when you come 137 00:06:11,281 --> 00:06:13,281 Speaker 2: to your partner, you're already going to be in that 138 00:06:13,401 --> 00:06:14,881 Speaker 2: energy and you're not going to put pressure on him 139 00:06:14,921 --> 00:06:17,081 Speaker 2: to activate that in you. Yeah, because that's going to 140 00:06:17,121 --> 00:06:19,121 Speaker 2: put pressure on too. You're gonna be like, well, fuck, 141 00:06:19,161 --> 00:06:21,001 Speaker 2: I don't feel good, I don't feel sexy, I don't 142 00:06:21,001 --> 00:06:22,121 Speaker 2: feel this, and then you'd be like, oh my god, 143 00:06:22,161 --> 00:06:22,561 Speaker 2: is it him? 144 00:06:22,681 --> 00:06:23,440 Speaker 1: Is it me? Is it? 145 00:06:23,521 --> 00:06:26,121 Speaker 2: What's wrong here? But if you can activate that energy 146 00:06:26,161 --> 00:06:29,921 Speaker 2: already in yourself feeling safe again, which comes back to 147 00:06:29,921 --> 00:06:32,161 Speaker 2: the breath, Like what Ash you were saying, bringing that 148 00:06:32,281 --> 00:06:34,440 Speaker 2: energy back in, I think you'll be able to start 149 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:36,721 Speaker 2: getting there, but you really have to be okay like 150 00:06:36,841 --> 00:06:37,721 Speaker 2: prioritizing that. 151 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,161 Speaker 1: And there's also other little things that I thought i'd 152 00:06:40,241 --> 00:06:42,561 Speaker 1: quickly touch on too that have really helped me. Like 153 00:06:42,601 --> 00:06:44,961 Speaker 1: sometimes if I've had a really big day, I'll pull 154 00:06:45,041 --> 00:06:47,601 Speaker 1: up not outside my house, because as soon as I'm home, 155 00:06:47,641 --> 00:06:50,281 Speaker 1: the kid's like, am home, exciting and it's mum mode 156 00:06:50,281 --> 00:06:52,161 Speaker 1: straight on after work. So I'll pull up like down 157 00:06:52,201 --> 00:06:53,801 Speaker 1: the end of the street and just sit in my 158 00:06:53,841 --> 00:06:56,921 Speaker 1: calf for five minutes and just like whether it's music 159 00:06:57,001 --> 00:07:00,001 Speaker 1: it's my favorite song or it's just nature sounds or something, 160 00:07:00,041 --> 00:07:02,041 Speaker 1: I just close my eyes and I just like breathe, 161 00:07:02,041 --> 00:07:06,001 Speaker 1: and I imagine myself and visualize myself transitioning from work 162 00:07:06,121 --> 00:07:08,561 Speaker 1: into mum and feminine. And sometimes when I get home, 163 00:07:08,561 --> 00:07:10,041 Speaker 1: it's straight in the shower too, becau just want to 164 00:07:10,081 --> 00:07:11,401 Speaker 1: get out of what I was in for the work 165 00:07:11,481 --> 00:07:14,241 Speaker 1: today and then hop in whether it's a silky robe 166 00:07:14,321 --> 00:07:17,281 Speaker 1: or it's a silky nighty, or it's just comfortable pajamas, 167 00:07:17,321 --> 00:07:19,681 Speaker 1: but it's like once again, I've transitioned out of work 168 00:07:19,801 --> 00:07:22,801 Speaker 1: being on into like more soft, flowy. I light some candles, 169 00:07:22,801 --> 00:07:25,121 Speaker 1: I put some tailor swift in the background, and I 170 00:07:25,241 --> 00:07:28,321 Speaker 1: create a more soft environment for myself to be in 171 00:07:28,641 --> 00:07:30,761 Speaker 1: and only you know what that feels like. But once again, 172 00:07:30,801 --> 00:07:33,721 Speaker 1: it's these little micro moments. And the way I learned 173 00:07:33,721 --> 00:07:35,561 Speaker 1: this is every time I went around to my friend 174 00:07:35,561 --> 00:07:38,041 Speaker 1: Magsie's house and she still does it. She's either nude 175 00:07:38,081 --> 00:07:40,081 Speaker 1: and I go love going to her house, She's like welcome, 176 00:07:40,641 --> 00:07:42,961 Speaker 1: or she's in something really soft and feminine. It's never 177 00:07:43,041 --> 00:07:46,761 Speaker 1: tight active where it's never something restrictive like jeans. It's 178 00:07:46,801 --> 00:07:49,601 Speaker 1: always flowy and soft. That's why she's need a lot too, 179 00:07:49,641 --> 00:07:52,721 Speaker 1: because there's no restriction. But it's always a million candle's going. 180 00:07:52,761 --> 00:07:55,441 Speaker 1: There's always soft music in the background, or like a 181 00:07:55,561 --> 00:07:57,801 Speaker 1: chime or something that's like making sounds with the wind. 182 00:07:58,201 --> 00:08:01,160 Speaker 1: It's always very dim lighting, moody lamps, and I always 183 00:08:01,161 --> 00:08:04,001 Speaker 1: feel so relaxed there. And if I go there, I'm like, ah, 184 00:08:04,041 --> 00:08:06,921 Speaker 1: I fall asleep. My body is like, oh, you're safe 185 00:08:06,961 --> 00:08:09,281 Speaker 1: to stop and slow down now. Yeah, I thought, if 186 00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:11,600 Speaker 1: I feel like that there, why didn't I start bringing 187 00:08:11,601 --> 00:08:14,401 Speaker 1: that more home? So there's that kind of stuff you 188 00:08:14,441 --> 00:08:16,361 Speaker 1: can do. And then even little things like when you 189 00:08:16,401 --> 00:08:20,121 Speaker 1: apply your moisturizer or your body oil, actually take the time, 190 00:08:20,561 --> 00:08:22,321 Speaker 1: don't just slap it on and rub it in and 191 00:08:22,401 --> 00:08:24,481 Speaker 1: get out to the kids. And if your kids are 192 00:08:24,521 --> 00:08:25,801 Speaker 1: with you, you can still take your time with that. 193 00:08:25,921 --> 00:08:28,041 Speaker 1: Put some music on, take your time just to rub 194 00:08:28,081 --> 00:08:30,881 Speaker 1: it in and actually just like love on yourself. I 195 00:08:30,921 --> 00:08:33,001 Speaker 1: would love for you to start implementing for the next 196 00:08:33,081 --> 00:08:36,441 Speaker 1: thirty days, write down five of these things that I've suggested, 197 00:08:36,481 --> 00:08:39,681 Speaker 1: and just start implementing those and start to see how 198 00:08:39,721 --> 00:08:42,041 Speaker 1: you feel. And the Natural's also going to really help 199 00:08:42,081 --> 00:08:44,001 Speaker 1: some guessing She's going to give you supplements and different 200 00:08:44,041 --> 00:08:46,481 Speaker 1: things to help help you with your body as well. 201 00:08:46,561 --> 00:08:48,481 Speaker 1: So doing all of that, I think you'll feel a 202 00:08:48,521 --> 00:08:52,041 Speaker 1: lot different. And then where in your life can you 203 00:08:52,281 --> 00:08:54,921 Speaker 1: delegate or get rid of some of the stresses, whether 204 00:08:54,921 --> 00:08:57,201 Speaker 1: it's in your business, like we've just hired someone, yeah 205 00:08:57,361 --> 00:09:00,441 Speaker 1: she only does like five hours week. Sometimes the difference 206 00:09:00,481 --> 00:09:03,641 Speaker 1: it's made for us all lightening of the load, Well, 207 00:09:03,681 --> 00:09:05,601 Speaker 1: just do each that we don't want to do. Causes 208 00:09:05,641 --> 00:09:08,401 Speaker 1: are stress that she's really great at, she loves doing. 209 00:09:08,641 --> 00:09:09,801 Speaker 2: It's the decision fatigue. 210 00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:12,801 Speaker 1: Oh oh my gosh, it is game change. Are So just 211 00:09:12,881 --> 00:09:15,601 Speaker 1: where in your life can you lighten your load a 212 00:09:15,601 --> 00:09:19,321 Speaker 1: little bit? And ask yourself, like, do I actually have 213 00:09:19,401 --> 00:09:21,801 Speaker 1: to do all of this? Is there some things I'm 214 00:09:21,921 --> 00:09:24,641 Speaker 1: being not over the top, but doing more than what 215 00:09:24,681 --> 00:09:27,281 Speaker 1: I actually need to and what is more important to 216 00:09:27,361 --> 00:09:29,801 Speaker 1: me right now? Because I know, even for me, like 217 00:09:29,841 --> 00:09:32,201 Speaker 1: closing down a business that was successful and that I 218 00:09:32,241 --> 00:09:34,161 Speaker 1: did love aspects of it, like letting all that go 219 00:09:34,361 --> 00:09:36,641 Speaker 1: just created so much more time and space for my 220 00:09:36,721 --> 00:09:39,321 Speaker 1: kids and for myself and for my relationship. And because 221 00:09:39,321 --> 00:09:41,921 Speaker 1: I didn't have the stress of managing the team and 222 00:09:41,961 --> 00:09:44,961 Speaker 1: the logistics and talking to China and the finances, I 223 00:09:44,961 --> 00:09:47,241 Speaker 1: felt like there was more capacity for me to just 224 00:09:47,281 --> 00:09:49,441 Speaker 1: like check in with myself because I wasn't checking with 225 00:09:49,481 --> 00:09:51,401 Speaker 1: everything else that was going on. So it was a 226 00:09:51,441 --> 00:09:53,721 Speaker 1: hard decision to make, and yeah it was hard, but 227 00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:56,321 Speaker 1: it was so beneficial for me my body and I 228 00:09:56,441 --> 00:09:59,401 Speaker 1: value connection, I value intimacy, I value my relationships, I 229 00:09:59,481 --> 00:10:02,481 Speaker 1: value my health. I value just actually being able to 230 00:10:02,561 --> 00:10:04,681 Speaker 1: enjoy what I do day to day. So it could 231 00:10:04,721 --> 00:10:07,001 Speaker 1: be a huge moment of like, WHOA, what I'm doing 232 00:10:07,081 --> 00:10:09,361 Speaker 1: is not fucking working? What do I need to change? 233 00:10:09,441 --> 00:10:09,681 Speaker 2: Yeah? 234 00:10:09,721 --> 00:10:11,721 Speaker 1: I love that. It doesn't mean it's going to be easy. 235 00:10:11,761 --> 00:10:13,761 Speaker 1: It can be uncomfortable and you can have resistance to 236 00:10:13,841 --> 00:10:16,001 Speaker 1: let things go, but I'll get really clear on what 237 00:10:16,001 --> 00:10:17,961 Speaker 1: you're value by the sounds that you value the similar 238 00:10:18,001 --> 00:10:20,961 Speaker 1: things that we value and feeling good and being connected 239 00:10:21,001 --> 00:10:22,881 Speaker 1: and also talking to your husband about it too. Is 240 00:10:22,921 --> 00:10:25,161 Speaker 1: there ways where he can help Sometimes us women don't 241 00:10:25,161 --> 00:10:26,961 Speaker 1: want to ask for help, but we are allowed to receive. 242 00:10:27,441 --> 00:10:29,081 Speaker 2: I'd be curious to know as well, because you came 243 00:10:29,121 --> 00:10:32,521 Speaker 2: in with your submission saying stating like I'm emotionally unavailable. 244 00:10:33,241 --> 00:10:35,561 Speaker 2: I'd be curious to know, like what kind of caused 245 00:10:35,561 --> 00:10:36,201 Speaker 2: you to close up? 246 00:10:36,641 --> 00:10:36,921 Speaker 1: Yeah? 247 00:10:36,961 --> 00:10:38,401 Speaker 2: You know, is there something that's going on? 248 00:10:38,561 --> 00:10:39,761 Speaker 1: And that's true? Seven? 249 00:10:39,921 --> 00:10:42,161 Speaker 2: Yeah, it might even be with your husband. Is there 250 00:10:42,201 --> 00:10:45,241 Speaker 2: something that has happened or consistently over time where there's 251 00:10:45,241 --> 00:10:47,361 Speaker 2: been a lack of trust or a breakdown of trust 252 00:10:47,561 --> 00:10:50,561 Speaker 2: or something like that, Because when we think about emotional unavailability, 253 00:10:50,601 --> 00:10:53,961 Speaker 2: it's because there's something there that has hurt us that 254 00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:56,801 Speaker 2: we are now trying to protect ourselves from. Yes, So 255 00:10:56,841 --> 00:10:58,761 Speaker 2: I'm like, I wonder if you could get curious on that, 256 00:10:58,921 --> 00:11:01,681 Speaker 2: is it? Explore that? Can you journal it? Hey? Like, okay, 257 00:11:01,681 --> 00:11:04,641 Speaker 2: if I'm honest with myself, what might I be running from? 258 00:11:04,761 --> 00:11:06,481 Speaker 2: What am I afraid to look at what am I 259 00:11:06,561 --> 00:11:08,561 Speaker 2: scared is going to come up? And I think you'll 260 00:11:08,561 --> 00:11:10,481 Speaker 2: find a lot of the answers in that as well, 261 00:11:10,801 --> 00:11:12,641 Speaker 2: especially if it has to do with your husband, because 262 00:11:12,641 --> 00:11:15,201 Speaker 2: if you're finding that resistance with him, it may have 263 00:11:15,281 --> 00:11:16,921 Speaker 2: something to do with him, which is once. 264 00:11:16,721 --> 00:11:18,881 Speaker 1: Again putting you a fight or flight because you're scared 265 00:11:18,881 --> 00:11:20,761 Speaker 1: of your safety. I'm not saying physical safety, but your 266 00:11:20,801 --> 00:11:23,441 Speaker 1: body is like, oh, I don't feel good to let 267 00:11:23,481 --> 00:11:25,841 Speaker 1: go and open up to you. Absolutely, you can still 268 00:11:25,881 --> 00:11:28,601 Speaker 1: love him so hard, oh, like doesn't take away the love. 269 00:11:29,361 --> 00:11:31,841 Speaker 1: If there's resistance from broken trust or something or built 270 00:11:31,881 --> 00:11:33,961 Speaker 1: up resentment, that's also something you guys get to work on. 271 00:11:34,041 --> 00:11:36,561 Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, yeah, Yeah, that's definitely one way for your 272 00:11:36,601 --> 00:11:37,601 Speaker 2: body to be like Nope, as. 273 00:11:37,521 --> 00:11:39,841 Speaker 1: Long as you're both willing, yes, always talk about this. 274 00:11:39,881 --> 00:11:41,721 Speaker 1: It's just a Willingness's a big one. If one is 275 00:11:41,761 --> 00:11:45,841 Speaker 1: not willing, it will not work. Absolutely, yeah, West helpful. 276 00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:49,001 Speaker 1: We'd love an update with any up. We often get asking. Yeah, 277 00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:50,601 Speaker 1: if we have an update on this girling up, we 278 00:11:50,601 --> 00:11:52,281 Speaker 1: don't get up, we don't get them in. We would 279 00:11:52,321 --> 00:11:54,881 Speaker 1: love an update to see how you go. And it's like, 280 00:11:55,001 --> 00:11:57,081 Speaker 1: I know, really special to be a part of someone's journey. 281 00:11:57,121 --> 00:11:59,121 Speaker 1: And if something we say can help you, if it's 282 00:11:59,121 --> 00:12:01,441 Speaker 1: one little thing we'd love to know, let us know. 283 00:12:01,681 --> 00:12:03,201 Speaker 1: Thanks for joining us. We'll see you next week.