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Speaker 1: I get its Welcome to another installment of You Project.

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Speaker 1: This is about take four.

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Speaker 2: Not really.

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Speaker 1: We've had a We've had an interesting start to the

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Speaker 1: the morning we let down our guest. We were tardy,

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Speaker 1: we were late. We were late to our own show.

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Speaker 2: Tiff was going to be it may as well we are, say, yeah.

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Speaker 1: It might as well be. Andrew Matthews, Welcome to the

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Speaker 1: You Project. Quick, let's get this bloody thing started. How

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Speaker 1: are you well, Craig. Nice to be here, Thanks Tiff.

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Speaker 2: Thanks so much for agreeing to join us. Where are you?

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Speaker 2: Are you in the Sunshine State Now?

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Speaker 3: I'm in the Sunshine State, Trinity Beach in far North Queensland,

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Speaker 3: between Cans and Poor Douglas.

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Speaker 2: That must be tough for you. Are you okay? Get that?

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Speaker 3: It's a beautiful part of the world. It's just spectacular.

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Speaker 2: We're on the big record here.

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Speaker 1: I reckon when your your thing is well, amongst other things.

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Speaker 1: But one of your core focuses and talking points is

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Speaker 1: happiness that you have a geographical advantage where you are.

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Speaker 2: So I'm not sure that that's fair.

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Speaker 3: Well, we created it. We came from Adelaide, which was

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Speaker 3: also delightful. But because I'm spending my life writing books,

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Speaker 3: and I travel a lot. So my wife Julie and

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Speaker 3: I decided perhaps we could have a nice, beautiful place

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Speaker 3: to come back to when we're not traveling, and we

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Speaker 3: found this little beach called Trinity Beach, which is about

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Speaker 3: twenty minutes north of Cairns.

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Speaker 2: Before you were.

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Speaker 1: An international speaker and author and all things happiness, man,

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Speaker 1: what did you do? What did you do before all

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Speaker 1: of this blug buddy megastart and time and the money?

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Speaker 1: By the way, do you need a hand with the money?

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Speaker 1: Is it burdensome?

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Speaker 3: We'll get to that later. I began a law degree

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Speaker 3: because I thought that was the responsible thing to do.

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Speaker 3: But I didn't like that. And my passion was always

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Speaker 3: drawing and drawing portraits, painting, and so I studied art

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Speaker 3: then about and I was an artist. I used to

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Speaker 3: paint portraits. I did some cartooning for international magazines that

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Speaker 3: you may have heard of. Used to do some work

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Speaker 3: for Playboy when I was a late nineteen year old. Wow,

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Speaker 3: I did the clean cartoons.

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Speaker 2: Allegedly your honor.

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Speaker 3: When I was twenty five, I made a shocking discovery,

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Speaker 3: and that was that the happiest people I knew had

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Speaker 3: bigger problems than me, and that made no sense. I

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Speaker 3: was trying to figure out what is it with happy people?

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Speaker 3: How do they think? How do they deal with challenges?

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Speaker 3: And what is it that they do that I don't?

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Speaker 3: And I began to read a lot and study a

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Speaker 3: lot and do a lot of s m and rs.

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Speaker 3: And that eventually led to my first book, Being Happy,

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Speaker 3: And that's where it all began.

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Speaker 1: Wow, what's the intersection, Andrew or the relationship between and

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Speaker 1: I know there's a million kind of variables around happiness,

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Speaker 1: but happiness and say contentment the absence of anxiety, Like

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Speaker 1: how do we is one person's personal understanding of happiness

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Speaker 1: someone else's calm, Like sometimes I feel really content and

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Speaker 1: I feel very like just where I'm meant to be,

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Speaker 1: but I might not feel that giddy you for it

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Speaker 1: kind of happiness vibe.

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Speaker 3: You know, happiness is a difficult way because it really

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Speaker 3: doesn't cover everything we wanted to cover. But if you

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Speaker 3: talk about contentment, then that perhaps implies that you know,

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Speaker 3: we're not leading a very act of life. Or if

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Speaker 3: we talk about joy, then no one's going to be

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Speaker 3: joyful all the time. And so when people might say, well,

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Speaker 3: is happiness really the goal. It's more than that. It's

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Speaker 3: about finding meaning in life. It's about feeling that we

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Speaker 3: can't wait to get out of bed in the morning,

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Speaker 3: which is more than just a superficial happiness. It might

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Speaker 3: be about feeling that we're doing something to make the

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Speaker 3: world a better place. And so I find that all

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Speaker 3: of those things contribute to what one person is going

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Speaker 3: to say, well, that represents happiness, and another person will say, well,

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Speaker 3: happiness is just sort of a superficial thing. So what

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Speaker 3: I like to do, Craig is look at things that

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Speaker 3: we can do, strategies that we can have that can

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Speaker 3: make our life better.

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Speaker 2: And that may.

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Speaker 3: Involve looking at things we're grateful for. It might involve

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Speaker 3: doing some things that we find that we really love,

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Speaker 3: even if we can't be doing everything we love because

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Speaker 3: we've got to pay the rent and have a job.

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Speaker 3: It might mean that we're dedicated to raising extraordinary children.

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Speaker 3: So there can be a whole lot of things that

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Speaker 3: contribute to saying my life has meaning and I'm happy

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Speaker 3: to be who I am. I don't want to be

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Speaker 3: anyone else. And so what I seek to do in

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Speaker 3: my books, what I write from my first book, Being

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Speaker 3: Happy Right through to my latest book, which bouncing back

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Speaker 3: Looking at Resilience, is to come up with very simple strategies,

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Speaker 3: things that we can bear in mind that can make

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Speaker 3: us stronger, more resilient, and happier each day.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I love that.

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Speaker 1: The interesting thing about trying to create any outcome for

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Speaker 1: any person is like if somebody you know me as

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Speaker 1: an excise scientist, like somebody you know, ten people come

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Speaker 1: to me and say I want to be stronger. You know,

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Speaker 1: they've all got the same goal. Well, they're all going

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Speaker 1: to need a different approach or a different program, or

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Speaker 1: a different protocol because they're all in different places. They've

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Speaker 1: all got different physiology, they've all got different issues medically perhaps,

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Speaker 1: and so even though they all want the same outcome,

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Speaker 1: they're all going to have to take a different path.

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Speaker 2: Is it similar with happiness? Do you think?

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Speaker 3: I think that there are some common denominators that work

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Speaker 3: for each of us. When we start to say to ourselves,

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Speaker 3: for example, happiness is not an accident. Happiness is something

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Speaker 3: that you choose, that you look for good things. Yes,

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Speaker 3: then you start to say, if if I say, what

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Speaker 3: do I really love about my friend Craig, then I

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Speaker 3: start to see good things in you, and our relationship

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Speaker 3: gets better and I'm happier for having you in my life.

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Speaker 3: It's because it's the question that I ask myself. So

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Speaker 3: one of the things that I think is really clear

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Speaker 3: is that happy people focus on what they have, and

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Speaker 3: unhappy people focus on what's missing. And so when we

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Speaker 3: make that kind of a transition that doesn't matter who

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Speaker 3: we are, or whether we're weak or strong, or whether

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Speaker 3: we have money or we don't, or whether we're employed

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Speaker 3: or whether we're not. Suddenly we start to say, well,

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Speaker 3: I'm now starting to see these things that I wasn't appreciating.

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Speaker 3: So that might be one thing, or it might be,

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Speaker 3: for example, that we quit criticizing ourselves. People say, do

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Speaker 3: I need to like myself?

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Speaker 2: And you do.

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Speaker 3: Maybe it's at the moment hard to love myself, but

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Speaker 3: we create the life that we feel we deserve. So

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Speaker 3: when we start to say, okay, I'm not perfect, but

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Speaker 3: I've done my best with what I knew. When we

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Speaker 3: forgive ourselves a little bit, then we start to allow

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Speaker 3: ourselves to have a better life than before we started

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Speaker 3: saying okay, I can be kinder to myself. It may

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Speaker 3: be something like the people that we spend our time with,

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Speaker 3: you know, we become like the people that we're around,

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Speaker 3: and sometimes we need to say, Okay, my family is

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Speaker 3: not that uplifting, but I need to find some people.

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Speaker 3: I need to find a podcast once a day that

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Speaker 3: can uplift me, and so that will make a difference.

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Speaker 3: So we go looking for great Harper.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I'm not the answer. I'm just pointing people

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Speaker 1: towards the answer. I'm pointing them towards you. I think

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Speaker 1: part of that too. I love what you're saying about.

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Speaker 2: Like we may not in the moment.

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Speaker 1: Love ourselves or feel like that, but I think it's

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Speaker 1: the difference between self loathing and self awareness. Like self

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Speaker 1: awareness is well I could have done that better and

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Speaker 1: I'll do it better, and self loathing is I'm a

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Speaker 1: fucking idiot. I always do this. I'm always a more moron, right,

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Speaker 1: Where there's that kind of I'm killing myself constantly, yes,

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Speaker 1: versus that recognition that all right, this is not optimal.

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Speaker 1: What is optimal and leaning into it with curiosity Maybe.

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Speaker 3: Yes, Craig, and that whole idea of improvement not perfection

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Speaker 3: helps that we say, if I can be just a

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Speaker 3: little bit better tomorrow, then I can focus on what

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Speaker 3: I've done better rather than say this is where I

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Speaker 3: fall short against my brother or my neighbors.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think also when you're talking, you're thinking

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Speaker 1: about you know, like you were. You didn't say the words,

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Speaker 1: but gratitude and awareness for I have.

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Speaker 2: Like one of my I guess privileges Andrew.

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Speaker 1: Is that I work with a few people with different disabilities,

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Speaker 1: and you know, they have actual challenges. I don't have

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Speaker 1: any actual challenges, right, and when I'm around them, it

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Speaker 1: just and I you know, I shouldn't need to, but

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Speaker 1: sometimes I still need to be around them to appreciate

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Speaker 1: what I have.

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Speaker 2: And even down to I think about this a lot.

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Speaker 2: This is weird.

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Speaker 1: I even think like I can get up out of

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Speaker 1: this chair and I can walk down the stairs to

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Speaker 1: my kitchen. Most people can't or not most, but there's

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Speaker 1: a lot of people that can't do that. I can

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Speaker 1: go turn on a tap and there's cold water. Billions

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Speaker 1: of people can't do that.

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Speaker 2: I can. I can press a button and the room

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Speaker 2: gets cool. You know. It's like just having the things.

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Speaker 1: That we never think of, you know, we just take

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Speaker 1: so much stuff for granted that if they were removed

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Speaker 1: from our life.

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Speaker 2: All we would want is to have those things back.

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Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, it's it's a It's a fascinating insight into

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Speaker 3: the human condition, isn't it?

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Speaker 1: And the way that, you know, part of my research

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Speaker 1: is are around a thing called metacognition, which I'm sure

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Speaker 1: you know is just thinking about thinking, and it's it's

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Speaker 1: interesting just just to lean into that, just that question

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Speaker 1: of why do I Why do I think like this?

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Speaker 1: Why do I Why am I really grateful or uncrateful?

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Speaker 1: Just and not self loathing, but just curiosity. How come

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Speaker 1: when I'm talking to Andrew, I'm trying to impress him

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Speaker 1: what's that about?

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Speaker 2: You know? Like just that.

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Speaker 1: Recognition of what is happening mentally, emotionally, behaviorally.

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Speaker 2: In the moment. You know that.

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Speaker 1: I think that the whole conversation around what is happiness?

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Speaker 1: How do I create it? Or how do I create misery?

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Speaker 1: It's a real deep dive into like introspection and personal reflection,

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Speaker 1: I think.

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Speaker 3: And what you're saying, Craig, is that happiness isn't out there,

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Speaker 3: It's in here. It's in our head. Yeah, and as

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Speaker 3: soon as we change, and sometimes it can be a

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Speaker 3: tragedy or an almost tragedy or a disaster that makes

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Speaker 3: us reassess, yes, you know how blessed we are. And

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Speaker 3: as you know, as we are in our case living

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Speaker 3: in Australians and many of your listeners listening around the world,

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Speaker 3: we have these incredible advantages, but we take them for granted.

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Speaker 3: And so happiness, I believe, becomes something where because it's

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Speaker 3: not something that you find. It is something that you

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Speaker 3: create by being grateful, by having a purpose, by being kind.

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Speaker 3: We notice that the kindest people are the people and

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Speaker 3: so we do those things and we find that we're

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Speaker 3: feeling better and more blessed. But when people talk about

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Speaker 3: finding happiness, it is not something that just drops in

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Speaker 3: your lap very often. I mean, perhaps there are some people,

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Speaker 3: some of us who grew up with maybe parents who

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Speaker 3: are wonderful role models and they did so many of

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Speaker 3: the things that work, but many of us didn't. And

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Speaker 3: so it comes back to what you're talking about, saying,

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Speaker 3: how do I think and why do I think like that?

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Speaker 3: And can I realize that there's a better way to think?

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Speaker 1: Yes, yes, and yeah exactly Andrew. And then what's the

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Speaker 1: space between the thing that's happening and my story about

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Speaker 1: the thing that's happening. So the objective reality and my

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Speaker 1: subjective interpretation, you know, that's the special bit.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. And then there's this idea that the challenge of

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Speaker 3: life is to be happy with what you have while

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Speaker 3: you pursue what you want and and and I think

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Speaker 3: that you know, that is a big one because some

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Speaker 3: people have goals, and it's great to have goals for

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Speaker 3: a lot of reasons. Number one is we feel like

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Speaker 3: we're taking control of our life. Even you know, you

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Speaker 3: join a gym, you feel better. You haven't even done

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Speaker 3: anything yet, But the reason you feel better is because

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Speaker 3: you have this sense that I'm taking control of a

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Speaker 3: part of my life. But we see many people who achieve,

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Speaker 3: but but they're always putting such a load on themselves

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Speaker 3: as I've got to achieve more and more and more,

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Speaker 3: so they're never happy with where they are. And wow,

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Speaker 3: so that's the challenge.

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Speaker 1: That's so true, you know, I think, I mean, I

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Speaker 1: can only speak for me. But in the life that

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Speaker 1: I grew up in the seventies, eighties and nineties, like

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Speaker 1: I was either directly or indirectly taught that success equals

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Speaker 1: happiness and success equals things stuff, how much money I

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Speaker 1: earn what I drive, where I live, what people think

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Speaker 1: of me, my brand. You know, it's all about this

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Speaker 1: external stuff that you referred to before. So if I

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Speaker 1: change these things in my external world, my internal world

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Speaker 1: will be great. And then I go on this endless

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Speaker 1: quest for a bigger and bigger and bigger plasma TV

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Speaker 1: till I've got a fucking two hundred inch TV and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, this is twice the size of my last TV.

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Speaker 1: Why am I not happier? Because I think we think

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Speaker 1: that some kind of you know, phiz shift will create

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Speaker 1: some kind feel some emotional, psychological, spiritual void.

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Speaker 2: And even though we I.

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Speaker 1: Think inherently I'll shut up after this, I think we

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Speaker 1: inherently know that's not true, but we don't seem to

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Speaker 1: learn because we keep striving for this stuff that doesn't

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Speaker 1: really feel that void.

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Speaker 3: One of the dangers of that is that as we

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Speaker 3: get on this path to being more successful, which we

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Speaker 3: think is going to make us happier, we inevitably start

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Speaker 3: to gravitate and mix with people who are doing even

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Speaker 3: better at what we think is what we need to

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Speaker 3: do than we are. Because that's what happens, and you're

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Speaker 3: around richer people with bigger mansions and more expensive cars,

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Speaker 3: and so you actually get further and further behind as

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Speaker 3: you come into contact with these people that you think

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Speaker 3: are doing even better than you thought you needed to

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Speaker 3: do so. But hopefully at some point we decide, okay,

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Speaker 3: I've got that. Now, I realize what my priorities are

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Speaker 3: and I can only eat so much, and I can

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Speaker 3: only drive one car at a time, and people and

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Speaker 3: contributing and finding meaning become more important than having the

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Speaker 3: biggest whatever it is we were.

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Speaker 1: After, I think like understanding that that our thoughts and

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Speaker 1: what we focus on. As she spoke about before, it's

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Speaker 1: like where my attention is, well, that's where you know,

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Speaker 1: where my mind is, that's where my emotions are, where

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Speaker 1: my emotions are, that's where my body is.

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Speaker 2: And if i'm if i'm.

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Speaker 1: You know, if I think that Tiff did something that

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Speaker 1: she shouldn't have done, and let's say she didn't actually

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Speaker 1: do anything, I just think she did, and so I'm

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Speaker 1: mad at Tiff for an a row reason. And I'm

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Speaker 1: telling myself a story about Tiff even though Tiff didn't

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Speaker 1: do anything, but I believe that she did. And now

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Speaker 1: you know, my blood pressures up my heart rates up,

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Speaker 1: my breathings up, my sympathetic nervous system switched on. I'm

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Speaker 1: in this state of anxiety and stress and anger and

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Speaker 1: I've created it at all. I've created at all, and

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Speaker 1: Tif's done nothing. So I literally am making myself stressed.

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Speaker 1: It's not even about the situation. It's about a story

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Speaker 1: in my head.

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Speaker 3: And nothing and nothing is real. And we come back

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Speaker 3: to that idea that that happiness is not out there,

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Speaker 3: it's between ears. And the other thing that comes up

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Speaker 3: for me Craig is that even if she did, if

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Speaker 3: Tiff did do something.

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Speaker 2: Which she does a lot, by the way, Okay.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, a lot, then you don't forgive people for their benefit.

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Speaker 3: You forgive people for your benefit. If I work for

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Speaker 3: you and you give me the sack and I say,

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Speaker 3: I'm never going to forgive Craig because he's ruined my life,

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Speaker 3: then I'm the one that's suffering. I'm the one that's

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Speaker 3: lying awake at night. You know, you're probably at the

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Speaker 3: movies or something, and I think I'm punishing you by

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Speaker 3: not forgiving you. Yes, But so what we learned there

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Speaker 3: is you don't forgive people for their benefit. Yeah, you

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Speaker 3: forgive people for your benefit. That's when you tipped her

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Speaker 3: something that's real.

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Speaker 1: Oh she's problematic. I only have her on the show.

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Speaker 2: She's like my.

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Speaker 1: Community outreach project, you know, like you just pick one person.

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Speaker 2: She's my person, so I'll just help her out.

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Speaker 1: I was thinking about, you know, this idea that we're

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Speaker 1: talking about, how success is stuff. And I remember Andrew

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Speaker 1: when I first started. So I started working in gyms

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Speaker 1: when I was eighteen. I didn't go a university for

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Speaker 1: the first time until I was older, but I started

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Speaker 1: working in gym's at eighteen, and I'm having all of

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Speaker 1: these conversations with actual grown ups.

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Speaker 2: I was a teenager. And then so.

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Speaker 1: I opened the first personal training center in Australia and

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Speaker 1: all this stuff. But I started working as a PT

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Speaker 1: as a personal trainer at twenty three, which was nineteen

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Speaker 1: eighty six when there weren't any and I started to

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Speaker 1: get wealthy clients, and was what I didn't expect was

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Speaker 1: so so I'm still a kid and I'm talking to

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Speaker 1: all of these wealthy people, you know, business owners, entrepreneurs, actors, athletes, models,

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Speaker 1: all of these successful people that I would have had

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Speaker 1: previously on a pedestal. And now I'm getting to know

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Speaker 1: the person behind the brand or the fame or the money.

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Speaker 1: And I remember thinking, oh, wow, well way more problems.

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Speaker 2: Than me, Like you're like.

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Speaker 1: I remember just having this like epiphany as a young man,

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Speaker 1: thinking ah, and realizing that on average, the wealthier people

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Speaker 1: that I dealt with. Now this is not categoric, this

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Speaker 1: was just my experience and not all but on average

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Speaker 1: they were more stressed and more anxious, and I would

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Speaker 1: say less happy than my in inverted commas normal clients.

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Speaker 1: And I went, Ah, that doesn't equal that, not necessarily anyway.

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Speaker 1: So that was a moment of insight for me.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. He reminds me of a friend I had, Jim,

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Speaker 3: who had a very big business, and he and his

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Speaker 3: wife used to take big, expensive holidays, and they had

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Speaker 3: a very big, expensive art collection, and their whole life

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Speaker 3: seemed very big and spectacular. And then he sold his

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Speaker 3: business to a very big client or a big organization

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Speaker 3: that didn't pay the second big installment, and then he

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Speaker 3: went through a very big court case which was followed

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Speaker 3: by a very big divorce. And I came across him

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Speaker 3: in the supermarket some time after that, and he was

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Speaker 3: now living in a little apartment with a little dog.

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Speaker 2: Oh Wow.

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Speaker 3: He said, you know, I had this big lifestyle and

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Speaker 3: he said, now I'm back to I just was left

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Speaker 3: with enough after the court case and the divorce and

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Speaker 3: everything else. I've just got a little apartment and a

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Speaker 3: little dog. And he said, you know, I've never been

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Speaker 3: happier in my life. It's so simplified. And you know,

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Speaker 3: so it's not about having all the big, expensive stuff.

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Speaker 3: And I suppose, although we see it from a distance

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Speaker 3: and it's a generalization, Hollywood is kind of the the

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Speaker 3: illustration of the craziness of you can have a whole

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Speaker 3: lot and appearances can be wonderful, but it can be

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Speaker 3: a little bit shaky underneath.

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Speaker 1: It's very I mean that that whole idea of you know,

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Speaker 1: I remember growing up in rural Victoria and do you

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Speaker 1: know what a bogan is, right I do. Yeah, So

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Speaker 1: lots of Bogans Bogan Central where I grew up. God

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Speaker 1: bless everyone in La tri Valley. Not all Bogans, but

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Speaker 1: a fair few. And there used to be a lot

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Speaker 1: of panel vans and utes back in the seventies and eighties,

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Speaker 1: and they had this sticker on the back and it

381
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Speaker 1: said he who dies with the most toys wins right,

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Speaker 1: And I kind of grew up in that, Oh well,

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Speaker 1: if some stuff is good, then more stuff is better

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Speaker 1: and the most stuff is best.

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Speaker 3: Right, Yes, yeah.

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Speaker 1: I remember when my business took off in you know,

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Speaker 1: when I was in my late twenties and I started.

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Speaker 1: I opened a gym, and I opened another gym and

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Speaker 1: another gym. I ended up I had four gyms and

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Speaker 1: lots of employees, and things were, you know, And I

391
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Speaker 1: always liked cars, and I always had shitty cars because

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Speaker 1: I had no money. Then I got my first decent car,

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Speaker 1: which was nice, and it was nice and I kind.

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Speaker 2: Of enjoyed it.

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Speaker 1: But then I got another car, which was super nice.

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Speaker 1: And then that car gave me so much anxiety because well,

397
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Speaker 1: I should say more accurately, I gave myself so much anxiety.

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Speaker 2: I didn't want to drive it anywhere. I didn't want

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Speaker 2: to leave it anywhere.

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Speaker 1: Before i'd go in anywhere, i'd walk around it, I'd

401
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Speaker 1: do a bloody scratch check.

402
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Speaker 2: Then i'd come out.

403
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Speaker 1: I'd look out the window of wherever I was thirteen

404
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:55,560
Speaker 1: times an hour to make sure no one would Oh God,

405
00:24:56,920 --> 00:25:00,719
Speaker 1: it just I was the problem, not the car. I

406
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:04,480
Speaker 1: was the problem. But I remember again having another epiphany.

407
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Speaker 1: It doesn't matter what I buy if at best it's

408
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Speaker 1: going to have a short term impact on my emotional state,

409
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Speaker 1: and over the long term, if it's something that can

410
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Speaker 1: be damaged by others, it's probably going to give me

411
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Speaker 1: more grief than joy.

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Speaker 2: So I stopped doing that quite a long time ago.

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Speaker 2: But it's interesting because it is.

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Speaker 3: I think. I remember Robert Kiyosaki is saying once that,

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Speaker 3: and he's a he's a money guy, and he was

416
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Speaker 3: saying something about the first Porsche he bought, and he said,

417
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Speaker 3: I loved that car unconditionally for a week.

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Speaker 2: So true.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, Well, so it's not it's not about the stuff.

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Speaker 3: It's about if, if, if we if we look for

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Speaker 3: good things in people and we believe that life will

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Speaker 3: turn out well, and we we live life as best

423
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Speaker 3: we can one day at a time, which I think

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Speaker 3: helps a lot, then then regardless of how much stuff

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Speaker 3: I mean, obviously, you know, people say money doesn't matter,

426
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Speaker 3: but there is a you've got to have the money

427
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Speaker 3: to pay the rent, and we know what it's like

428
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Speaker 3: when you don't, of course, but once once you have

429
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Speaker 3: the essentials taken care of, an exponential increase in money

430
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Speaker 3: doesn't make a lot of difference to our peace of mind.

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Speaker 1: Hundred Hey, you and I are both similar in that

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Speaker 1: we stand in front of audiences a lot.

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Speaker 2: And I watched some of you doing your thing on stage.

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Speaker 2: I'm amazing.

435
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Speaker 1: I love watching other speakers because it's so you know,

436
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:45,040
Speaker 1: there are so many ways to do the same thing,

437
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Speaker 1: which has build an audience, connect with an audience, develop, rapport, trust, respect, entertain,

438
00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:52,320
Speaker 1: educate and inspire all that stuff.

439
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:57,120
Speaker 2: There's so many there's no set path, but you you

440
00:26:57,880 --> 00:26:58,199
Speaker 2: if you.

441
00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:00,359
Speaker 1: Haven't seen it, everyone, you need to go and have

442
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:04,800
Speaker 1: just go on to Andrews Andrew Matthew's website, have a

443
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:07,040
Speaker 1: look at him doing his thing where he's talking and

444
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:12,879
Speaker 1: drawing at the same and it's like that amalgamation, that

445
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:18,080
Speaker 1: synergy of the visual stuff that you draw while delivering

446
00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:24,159
Speaker 1: this flawless presentation that is amazing. How long did it

447
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:27,520
Speaker 1: take you to get good at that?

448
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:28,240
Speaker 2: Well?

449
00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:30,760
Speaker 1: Maybe, I mean maybe that was just your natural thing,

450
00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:33,720
Speaker 1: because you're an illustrator and an artist anyway, right, so

451
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:36,399
Speaker 1: maybe that does having a pen or a marker or

452
00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:39,679
Speaker 1: something in your hand give you comfort.

453
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:44,600
Speaker 3: I've been drawing since I was five, and I say

454
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:48,480
Speaker 3: to the when I speak, I say, people wonder where

455
00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:50,800
Speaker 3: I learned to draw. I learned to draw in school

456
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:57,399
Speaker 3: during mathematics, but so my training is in classical drawing.

457
00:27:57,440 --> 00:28:00,639
Speaker 3: But at the same time I was doing cartooning. And

458
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:04,240
Speaker 3: what I found was when I first started giving presentations

459
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:07,680
Speaker 3: on happiness, and I would draw a little cartoon here

460
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:11,840
Speaker 3: or there, and of course what I didn't know was

461
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:16,760
Speaker 3: that people were transfixed because I'd be facing the flip chart,

462
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:18,800
Speaker 3: I wouldn't see it, and I'd turn around they were

463
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:23,159
Speaker 3: back to normal. Then on occasions I would see video

464
00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:26,040
Speaker 3: of the faces of the people, and my wife, Julie,

465
00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:28,439
Speaker 3: who's my publisher, she would say, you need to do

466
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:30,919
Speaker 3: more of this because people really like it. And so

467
00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:38,120
Speaker 3: it evolved where when I give presentations, I draw cartoons

468
00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:41,880
Speaker 3: throughout my presentation, and I use cartoons through my presentations.

469
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 3: And see, what I noticed is that whether you're talking

470
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:49,120
Speaker 3: to brain surgeons or prisoners, and I speak to both,

471
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:54,400
Speaker 3: they're so relieved when the message is simple and easy

472
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:59,040
Speaker 3: to get, and pictures help us not only to understand

473
00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:02,280
Speaker 3: the message, but to remember it. So it's been my

474
00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:10,520
Speaker 3: joy to incorporate cartoons throughout and I guess it's become

475
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:13,880
Speaker 3: my signature. But people also like it because they see

476
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:22,240
Speaker 3: the cartoons in my books, so and maybe maybe they think, well,

477
00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:24,480
Speaker 3: if there's cartoons in there, he can't be a total

478
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:28,760
Speaker 3: wanker or something. I don't know. I mean people people

479
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:33,320
Speaker 3: like to see to see something that's not so serious.

480
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:37,160
Speaker 1: And also it's it's organic, right, and it's you in

481
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:40,000
Speaker 1: real time. It's not you bringing up a slide of

482
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:41,800
Speaker 1: something that you drew a year ago.

483
00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:44,920
Speaker 2: It's like, this is you on stage creating.

484
00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:48,680
Speaker 1: This is you with a blank piece of paper creating

485
00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:53,040
Speaker 1: something in real time while fucking talking to a thousand people.

486
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:58,800
Speaker 3: That's quite the skill it takes. Yeah, it takes some

487
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:01,640
Speaker 3: practice to do that. But you bring up an interesting point.

488
00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:05,440
Speaker 3: I can bring up the best cartoon that I've ever done,

489
00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:09,600
Speaker 3: that I created last year, and it won't get nearly

490
00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:14,160
Speaker 3: nearly the reaction of something that I create in the

491
00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:17,200
Speaker 3: next minute, where people just see it evolved. But I

492
00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:20,400
Speaker 3: also when I draw or that I start at the

493
00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:27,000
Speaker 3: at the like the wrong place, so that people aren't

494
00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:28,200
Speaker 3: even sure where I'm going.

495
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:30,960
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, you know that.

496
00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:34,320
Speaker 1: That is like if I went to see I don't know,

497
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:37,200
Speaker 1: bloody Bruce Springsteen and he's out on stage and he

498
00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:40,480
Speaker 1: presses a button and then the recording of his voice

499
00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:42,680
Speaker 1: comes on. You know, it's I don't want that. I

500
00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:46,800
Speaker 1: want to hear seventy five year old Bruce sing.

501
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:47,240
Speaker 2: Right.

502
00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:52,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's yeah, that's so so interesting.

503
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:54,440
Speaker 2: How much I don't know about this?

504
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:59,400
Speaker 1: Is this is an in house question, right, So it

505
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:01,560
Speaker 1: depends on my week. But I do about one hundred

506
00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:07,160
Speaker 1: and twenty presentations a year, and they vary from thirty

507
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:10,680
Speaker 1: forty five sixty minute keno through to full day workshops

508
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:16,120
Speaker 1: and stuff. And this is just my personality in the

509
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:18,280
Speaker 1: way that I work best. But I've got to be

510
00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:24,080
Speaker 1: structured and planned to a point. But you know, I'm

511
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:28,880
Speaker 1: very much probably more way more than most and probably

512
00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:30,560
Speaker 1: to my own detriment sometimes, but.

513
00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:33,320
Speaker 2: I like to go in.

514
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:38,360
Speaker 1: With some prep, you know, but more I want to

515
00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:41,240
Speaker 1: build a connection with the audience. Do you how much

516
00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:44,440
Speaker 1: of you yours? Is Is it like the same every time?

517
00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:46,640
Speaker 2: Do you ever get.

518
00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:49,240
Speaker 1: Halfway through and go I'm going to turn left instead

519
00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:50,960
Speaker 1: of right? Like?

520
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:53,120
Speaker 2: Is it performative? Is it?

521
00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:55,320
Speaker 1: You know, not that it's right or wrong, But I'm

522
00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:59,000
Speaker 1: just interested in the different styles that presenters. Tiff by

523
00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:02,000
Speaker 1: the way, it has just started presenting career. She did

524
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:03,720
Speaker 1: one yesterday and killed didn't you?

525
00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:09,800
Speaker 2: Tiff had a wonderful time. Thank you. Are we allowed

526
00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:14,120
Speaker 2: to say who with? Yeah? Yeah, Victoria's Victoria Police.

527
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 1: Yeah She's So she's just getting her speaking career underway.

528
00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:21,440
Speaker 1: So I'm interested in your kind of method if you'd

529
00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:22,160
Speaker 1: like to share.

530
00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:28,080
Speaker 3: Sure. A lot of what I speak about and I

531
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:31,080
Speaker 3: will speak to computer companies and I will speak to

532
00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:35,200
Speaker 3: you know, maybe Honda or Shell or or Intel or

533
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:40,800
Speaker 3: and then I will speak to banks and in high schools.

534
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:45,760
Speaker 3: A lot of the concepts are similar, yep. But the

535
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:50,200
Speaker 3: examples that perhaps somebody like last week I spoke to

536
00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:57,600
Speaker 3: her a group of they run service stations in New Zealand,

537
00:32:57,840 --> 00:33:00,320
Speaker 3: so they came to Brisbane and they had me speak

538
00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:06,480
Speaker 3: to speak about enjoying work particularly. So a lot of

539
00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:09,760
Speaker 3: the principles are similar. But the examples, I mean, you know,

540
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:13,000
Speaker 3: these are guys. They're dealing with leaking petrol tanks and

541
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:19,200
Speaker 3: competition from unmanned service stations and staff that don't show up.

542
00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:22,400
Speaker 3: So I'm drawing on examples that they relate to. So

543
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:27,800
Speaker 3: I do my research, yes, but the principles of enjoying

544
00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:30,080
Speaker 3: your work still come back to things like, well, you

545
00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:32,760
Speaker 3: want a you want to do your best because that's

546
00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:36,120
Speaker 3: how you feel best about you, That's how you get

547
00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:41,760
Speaker 3: a reputation. Don't complain because people want to be and

548
00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:42,160
Speaker 3: so on.

549
00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:44,880
Speaker 2: So it's.

550
00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:49,000
Speaker 3: The framework is similar, but the examples will be different.

551
00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:55,360
Speaker 3: And usually I will just do an hour presentation. Sometimes

552
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:58,880
Speaker 3: I will do day presentations. But my experience is people

553
00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:02,720
Speaker 3: are always most sided in the first hour, and I

554
00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:05,400
Speaker 3: like to leave them that they wish I'd stayed longer.

555
00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:10,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's not the worst plan. What's one thing that

556
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:13,640
Speaker 2: you've over the last however.

557
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:17,160
Speaker 1: Long, ten twenty years, something.

558
00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:17,000
Speaker 2: That you.

559
00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:23,640
Speaker 1: Were wrong about. I like this idea. So I talk

560
00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:27,320
Speaker 1: about learning. I'm an educator, but I also talk about unlearning.

561
00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:31,359
Speaker 1: And you know, there's I've gotten a million things wrong

562
00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:33,920
Speaker 1: in the last thirty years, and for me, I always

563
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:37,359
Speaker 1: like to share that with people because people think you know,

564
00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:40,080
Speaker 1: you get everything right, or you know everything. Well, I'm

565
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:42,400
Speaker 1: fucking up thirteen times a day, So don't look to

566
00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:43,680
Speaker 1: me as the high water mark.

567
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:44,959
Speaker 2: But something that.

568
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:48,839
Speaker 1: You've got wrong or maybe and or changed your mind

569
00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:50,440
Speaker 1: about over the last while.

570
00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:57,200
Speaker 3: I think about I don't have to be perfect and

571
00:34:57,200 --> 00:35:00,880
Speaker 3: I don't have to know it all. When I wrote

572
00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:05,560
Speaker 3: my first book, Being Happy, I was thirty and I

573
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:08,759
Speaker 3: was younger than a lot of my readers, and I'm

574
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:12,160
Speaker 3: not a psychologist, so I thought I had to work

575
00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:16,319
Speaker 3: really hard to appear like I was an expert. And

576
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:20,440
Speaker 3: the more I did that, the more people questioned my authority,

577
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:24,160
Speaker 3: and the more even though my book kept selling, but

578
00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:28,120
Speaker 3: if I was maybe giving a presentation or maybe chatting

579
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:33,400
Speaker 3: with someone like you. The more that I tried to

580
00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:37,640
Speaker 3: have all the answers and be really smooth and make

581
00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:45,200
Speaker 3: everything perfect, the less I found that people I guess

582
00:35:45,239 --> 00:35:49,000
Speaker 3: warm to me, maybe because I thought I had to

583
00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:53,560
Speaker 3: be clever, And now I realized that everything doesn't if

584
00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:59,160
Speaker 3: people can see my faults and my frailties and I

585
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:02,760
Speaker 3: can share things that I got wrong and all the books,

586
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:06,560
Speaker 3: that the manuscripts I sent to publishers that didn't get published,

587
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:15,160
Speaker 3: and that people just want People want us to be

588
00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:22,239
Speaker 3: real and people. People don't want anything that's that's especially polished.

589
00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:25,200
Speaker 3: And I think evidence of that now can be seen

590
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:29,960
Speaker 3: on social media, where many of the clips that go viral,

591
00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:34,840
Speaker 3: almost all of them, they're not highly polished. They're just

592
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:38,360
Speaker 3: where someone happens to be either real or funny or

593
00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:44,399
Speaker 3: surprisingly witty, and it's not super prepared. So I think

594
00:36:44,440 --> 00:36:47,440
Speaker 3: that that I would I would have done differently. Also,

595
00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:50,799
Speaker 3: I wouldn't have worked so hard. Yeah, wow, I've worked

596
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:55,960
Speaker 3: too hard. But you know, yeah, I'm sure you do.

597
00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:59,359
Speaker 3: You know what I What I like is so as

598
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:03,000
Speaker 3: I said to you before we started rolling, So I'm

599
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:06,279
Speaker 3: doing my PhD in neuropsychology and I'm five years in

600
00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:08,880
Speaker 3: and I'm near the finish line and blah blah blah.

601
00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:16,040
Speaker 3: But like, I value your insights maybe more right, because

602
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:18,680
Speaker 3: you've got all this lived experience. And which is not

603
00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:22,040
Speaker 3: to say that you don't understand psychology or physiology or

604
00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:25,160
Speaker 3: neuroscience to a level anyway, it's not about that. But

605
00:37:25,239 --> 00:37:29,960
Speaker 3: it's like sometimes a couple of things. Sometimes I'm talking

606
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:34,239
Speaker 3: to somebody who's an academic or an intellectual genius who

607
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:38,400
Speaker 3: just might know all this stuff about the neurochemistry of

608
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:40,839
Speaker 3: the brain and happiness and the reward system and all

609
00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:42,839
Speaker 3: this stuff, and I look at him and I go,

610
00:37:43,719 --> 00:37:46,839
Speaker 3: you're fucking miserable. So I'm not listening to you, right,

611
00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:49,319
Speaker 3: I'm not listening to you because you might understand the

612
00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:51,719
Speaker 3: theory of happiness, but you're not living it, so I'm

613
00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:55,719
Speaker 3: not interested. And then the other thing is, you know,

614
00:37:55,800 --> 00:38:01,400
Speaker 3: when it comes to the brain and the mind and

615
00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:08,480
Speaker 3: the complicity the complexity of happiness and joy and hormones

616
00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:15,600
Speaker 3: and biochemistry and sociology, and it's just there's no three

617
00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:20,080
Speaker 3: step plan. It's like the more that, like my PhD

618
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:23,800
Speaker 3: is in a thing called meta perception, which is about

619
00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:28,680
Speaker 3: your ability to understand the Andrew experience for others. So

620
00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:31,239
Speaker 3: the core question at the middle of my research is

621
00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:33,560
Speaker 3: what's it like being around me for the rest of

622
00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:34,040
Speaker 3: the world.

623
00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:37,160
Speaker 2: And I could unpack that with you, but I won't

624
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:41,120
Speaker 2: bore you. But you know, I'm driving.

625
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:44,360
Speaker 1: I'm studying like a drop of water in an ocean

626
00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:50,120
Speaker 1: of psychology and science and research, you know. And even

627
00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:54,120
Speaker 1: though I'll come out with a doctorate in psychology, you're

628
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:58,960
Speaker 1: not really broadly studying anything. You're very very specifically studying

629
00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:04,360
Speaker 1: a one construct, like I said, in this ocean.

630
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:05,480
Speaker 2: Of ideas and stuff, you know.

631
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:12,600
Speaker 1: And then it bugs me when people discount stuff that's

632
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:20,520
Speaker 1: I guess just learned experience or anecdotal or like all

633
00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:22,560
Speaker 1: of the stuff that you've been through. And I'm sure

634
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:26,880
Speaker 1: you've done your own research research as well, but like

635
00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:30,200
Speaker 1: your life is your classroom, you know, the research that

636
00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:33,799
Speaker 1: you've done working with real humans in real time and

637
00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:38,200
Speaker 1: creating real outcomes, that's more valuable research, I think in

638
00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:42,800
Speaker 1: many ways. When you're connecting with a general public audience.

639
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:48,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, more people like simple things that they can understand. Yeah,

640
00:39:49,719 --> 00:39:53,520
Speaker 3: what I seek to do is I always felt that

641
00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:57,960
Speaker 3: my advantage was that I didn't have an academic background,

642
00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:01,640
Speaker 3: so I didn't have to be true to any particular methodology,

643
00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:05,160
Speaker 3: or I didn't have to introduce things that I thought

644
00:40:05,239 --> 00:40:09,960
Speaker 3: my peers thought that I should substantiate so true. So

645
00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:14,879
Speaker 3: I could just grab any story or any example from anybody,

646
00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:18,640
Speaker 3: and I could maybe put it into two paragraphs and

647
00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:23,480
Speaker 3: with a cartoon and then and then. One of the

648
00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:28,520
Speaker 3: joys for me of writing is is using as simple

649
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:34,640
Speaker 3: language as I can. When I teach or workshops on writing,

650
00:40:34,719 --> 00:40:38,080
Speaker 3: I say, imagine that you're writing for a twelve year

651
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:42,400
Speaker 3: old girl in Singapore, for whom English is her second language,

652
00:40:42,600 --> 00:40:45,840
Speaker 3: then you're going to write better. So that's that's what

653
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:51,960
Speaker 3: I seek to do. So for me, it is about simple,

654
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:57,000
Speaker 3: simple ideas, simple language that anyone can understand and at

655
00:40:57,040 --> 00:41:04,279
Speaker 3: the same time what you're doing obviously you're fascinated at

656
00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:09,359
Speaker 3: getting to understand all of this about how it is

657
00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:12,319
Speaker 3: for other people being around Craig Harper, and so that

658
00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:15,839
Speaker 3: is that is fueling your joyous life and your experience.

659
00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:19,160
Speaker 3: You know enough that you're not doing it to impress anyone.

660
00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:21,840
Speaker 3: You're doing it because this is this is something that

661
00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:26,839
Speaker 3: you want to get to the bottom of. So that

662
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:28,719
Speaker 3: can be a great thing for you. But then when

663
00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:31,680
Speaker 3: you take that the messages that you've gotten hold of

664
00:41:31,719 --> 00:41:36,919
Speaker 3: to your audience, obviously you simplify them or you take

665
00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:39,400
Speaker 3: the special little bits that anybody can relate to.

666
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:43,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the skill. Yeah.

667
00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:46,480
Speaker 1: And it's like even with this with this show, you know,

668
00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:51,799
Speaker 1: we have thousands of listeners every day, and I mean,

669
00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:54,880
Speaker 1: you're I don't need to with you, but sometimes because

670
00:41:54,920 --> 00:41:58,160
Speaker 1: you're a very good communicator and you understand exactly what

671
00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:01,640
Speaker 1: we're talking about. But sometimes I'm like, if I've got

672
00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:04,120
Speaker 1: someone on who's they're good, their knowledge is good, but

673
00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:06,839
Speaker 1: I'm like, we need to change the language of what's

674
00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:10,319
Speaker 1: going on right now because nobody fuck understands this bloke

675
00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:13,440
Speaker 1: or this lady. You know, so like the information is

676
00:42:13,480 --> 00:42:17,800
Speaker 1: good but the delivery or the language is inappropriate.

677
00:42:17,920 --> 00:42:19,799
Speaker 2: And it's not that I have a dumb audience. I

678
00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:21,160
Speaker 2: have an educated audience.

679
00:42:21,239 --> 00:42:24,840
Speaker 1: But when you have a really big cross section of people,

680
00:42:24,880 --> 00:42:28,520
Speaker 1: you need to cater to, you know, the lowest common

681
00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:35,880
Speaker 1: denominator in terms of understandability of terms and language. So yeah,

682
00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:38,520
Speaker 1: it's it's interesting. So you've got a new book out

683
00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:42,080
Speaker 1: which is called Bouncing Back, which is is that focus

684
00:42:42,160 --> 00:42:46,440
Speaker 1: on resilience or very coming?

685
00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:51,000
Speaker 3: Yep, yeah, very much resilience. I mean, we're all bouncing

686
00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:54,000
Speaker 3: back from something, Craig. We're bouncing back from a relationship

687
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:56,200
Speaker 3: that could have been better, or a job that we

688
00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:58,640
Speaker 3: lost or a job that we applied for or we

689
00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:03,120
Speaker 3: didn't get, or we're bouncing back often from loss or

690
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:08,960
Speaker 3: tragedy people that we loved. And I thought the COVID

691
00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:11,840
Speaker 3: experience triggered it a little bit, but it was also

692
00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:16,600
Speaker 3: we're all going to be bouncing back from things almost

693
00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:21,320
Speaker 3: every day, little things, ben So I wanted to ask

694
00:43:21,880 --> 00:43:29,440
Speaker 3: the question what is it that resilient people do? And basically,

695
00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:34,120
Speaker 3: there's about seven things that resilient and happy people do

696
00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:39,320
Speaker 3: better than people who are not resilient. And I created

697
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:45,160
Speaker 3: like a lot of little stories and cartoons in Bouncing Back,

698
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:50,799
Speaker 3: and basically we go through the things that and you

699
00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:53,279
Speaker 3: don't have to learn them all, you don't have to

700
00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:57,719
Speaker 3: do them in any particular order. For example, number one

701
00:43:57,880 --> 00:44:02,120
Speaker 3: is that resilient people find purpose in whatever they're going through.

702
00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:09,000
Speaker 3: They don't say, why does everything happen to me? Often

703
00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:12,880
Speaker 3: what we thought was breaking us is actually making us. Yes,

704
00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:19,359
Speaker 3: and resilient people understand that. So true, that's number one.

705
00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:25,480
Speaker 3: Number two is we accept what we can't change. I mean,

706
00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:27,200
Speaker 3: there's a lot of things that we can change. We

707
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:29,920
Speaker 3: can change our attitude, we can change our work rate,

708
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:32,120
Speaker 3: we can change where we live, we can change our friends.

709
00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:36,520
Speaker 3: But there are things that you can't change your parents,

710
00:44:36,719 --> 00:44:43,000
Speaker 3: for example. So some people live their life saying, well,

711
00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:46,160
Speaker 3: if I refuse to accept this, then I won't be

712
00:44:46,239 --> 00:44:50,560
Speaker 3: stuck with it. There is the reverse is true. As

713
00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:53,319
Speaker 3: soon as you embrace something that you didn't want, then

714
00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:58,000
Speaker 3: you can move on. So acceptance is power. And so

715
00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:01,719
Speaker 3: those are two of the things that I that I

716
00:45:01,760 --> 00:45:04,040
Speaker 3: looked at in Bouncing Back.

717
00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:07,600
Speaker 2: I love it. We waste sorry to interrupt, we waste

718
00:45:07,640 --> 00:45:07,839
Speaker 2: a lot.

719
00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:10,080
Speaker 1: We do seem to waste a lot of time and energy,

720
00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:13,440
Speaker 1: Andrew on things we can't change or undo. You know, like,

721
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:17,240
Speaker 1: how many of us ruminate about things that happened five

722
00:45:17,320 --> 00:45:21,279
Speaker 1: years ago and we're still like our mind in the

723
00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:24,560
Speaker 1: present is trapped in that thing five years ago that

724
00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:28,719
Speaker 1: you know, putting aside traumatic events. But you know, it's like,

725
00:45:28,920 --> 00:45:32,040
Speaker 1: we do have this propensity to overthink and ruminate on

726
00:45:32,719 --> 00:45:34,560
Speaker 1: things we can't change or control.

727
00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:42,480
Speaker 3: You're a sports guy and in one of my books,

728
00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:45,120
Speaker 3: I think it was Following your Heart. It brings up

729
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:47,320
Speaker 3: for me because you're talking about living in the present,

730
00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:49,760
Speaker 3: and everyone says and it's kind of it's just a cliche,

731
00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:52,800
Speaker 3: live in the present. One of the beautiful things about

732
00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:57,200
Speaker 3: sport is that you learn to live in the present

733
00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:59,560
Speaker 3: and let go of stuff. You lost the last set,

734
00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:01,920
Speaker 3: then get on with the next set. You know, yes

735
00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:04,200
Speaker 3: they kicked a goal, now it's your turn to kick

736
00:46:04,239 --> 00:46:10,880
Speaker 3: the next goal. And so letting go of things. Sport

737
00:46:11,040 --> 00:46:14,200
Speaker 3: is a wonderful educator in how to live a better

738
00:46:14,280 --> 00:46:19,760
Speaker 3: life in in so many things. You know, when you relax,

739
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:23,120
Speaker 3: you perform better. You know, you run faster, you don't

740
00:46:23,120 --> 00:46:23,600
Speaker 3: get hurt.

741
00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:24,560
Speaker 1: Yea.

742
00:46:25,200 --> 00:46:28,680
Speaker 3: So that whole idea of being able to let go

743
00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:35,600
Speaker 3: of things and move on. We see and so many

744
00:46:35,640 --> 00:46:38,920
Speaker 3: things in the sporting experience we see a parallel.

745
00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:41,160
Speaker 2: Yeah.

746
00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:44,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think that I'm doing a workshop this

747
00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:48,360
Speaker 1: Sunday in Melbourne. Get along everyone. If you're not coming,

748
00:46:48,719 --> 00:46:52,279
Speaker 1: it's that deacon, go to my website. But it's called

749
00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:54,920
Speaker 1: understanding you. Do you like that little plug that I

750
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:59,680
Speaker 1: just shoved in there, It's called understanding you. And that's

751
00:46:59,719 --> 00:47:03,080
Speaker 1: the the whole like part of a big part of

752
00:47:03,600 --> 00:47:06,040
Speaker 1: kind of my journey now and also with people that

753
00:47:06,120 --> 00:47:09,600
Speaker 1: I work with and teams and athletes and businesses. Is yeah,

754
00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:13,040
Speaker 1: just that like what actually makes me happy, what makes

755
00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:18,080
Speaker 1: me stressed? How do I manage my mind? What impact

756
00:47:18,080 --> 00:47:20,520
Speaker 1: does my mind have on my emotions and vice versa?

757
00:47:20,560 --> 00:47:22,960
Speaker 1: What impact does my emotions and my mind have on

758
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:26,160
Speaker 1: my body and vice versa. You know, because we're this

759
00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:29,040
Speaker 1: kind of integrated system, we're not one thing where all

760
00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:34,200
Speaker 1: the things. Yeah, and I just think being able to

761
00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:39,799
Speaker 1: open that door on self awareness how I am and

762
00:47:39,840 --> 00:47:42,440
Speaker 1: why I am the way I am, but at the

763
00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:46,359
Speaker 1: same time not overthinking the shit out of everything, right,

764
00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:48,600
Speaker 1: because then we wake up and it's five years later

765
00:47:48,680 --> 00:47:53,920
Speaker 1: and we're still on this deep journey of introspection that

766
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:55,319
Speaker 1: really doesn't help too much.

767
00:47:55,360 --> 00:48:00,759
Speaker 3: Sometimes, well maybe so, maybe it's from the point of

768
00:48:00,800 --> 00:48:04,880
Speaker 3: view of how we're affecting and either enriching the people

769
00:48:04,920 --> 00:48:07,279
Speaker 3: around us, rather than this is all about me, which

770
00:48:07,320 --> 00:48:09,520
Speaker 3: is which is what I think you're saying.

771
00:48:10,320 --> 00:48:14,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, we'll wind up, but just quickly before we go.

772
00:48:14,400 --> 00:48:17,200
Speaker 1: You spoke about purpose a minute ago when we were

773
00:48:17,239 --> 00:48:21,399
Speaker 1: talking about in new book, Bouncing Back.

774
00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:23,440
Speaker 2: By the way, everyone, so go and get nine copies

775
00:48:23,480 --> 00:48:25,600
Speaker 2: that it's.

776
00:48:25,160 --> 00:48:28,920
Speaker 3: Only on Amazon at the moment. It's well, where are

777
00:48:28,960 --> 00:48:29,760
Speaker 3: all your listeners?

778
00:48:29,760 --> 00:48:33,520
Speaker 1: Great, so eighty percent you or take Australia and the

779
00:48:33,560 --> 00:48:34,799
Speaker 1: rest around the world.

780
00:48:35,120 --> 00:48:39,400
Speaker 3: Okay, so Bouncing Back we'll be in bookstores from January,

781
00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:45,239
Speaker 3: but it's already available on Amazon as an ebook or

782
00:48:45,280 --> 00:48:50,080
Speaker 3: as a printed book or as an audible perfect perfect.

783
00:48:50,719 --> 00:48:53,880
Speaker 2: Did you do the audio? I did the audio.

784
00:48:54,239 --> 00:48:58,240
Speaker 3: So if you're listening and you think my voice works okay,

785
00:48:58,320 --> 00:49:01,200
Speaker 3: then to me do the audio.

786
00:49:01,680 --> 00:49:01,879
Speaker 2: Yeah.

787
00:49:01,960 --> 00:49:04,440
Speaker 1: I don't like it when authors get other people to

788
00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:06,600
Speaker 1: do that, especially when I know the author and then

789
00:49:06,640 --> 00:49:07,399
Speaker 1: I listen to the book.

790
00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:10,920
Speaker 2: I'm like, I wanted to hear him or her just quickly.

791
00:49:11,719 --> 00:49:13,880
Speaker 1: I want to talk for a moment about purpose, and

792
00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:17,080
Speaker 1: then we'll wind up. So one of the things that

793
00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:19,640
Speaker 1: people have said to me over the years is something like,

794
00:49:19,840 --> 00:49:24,120
Speaker 1: how do I find my purpose? And my general answer is, well,

795
00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:26,879
Speaker 1: why don't you just choose it? It's not under some

796
00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:29,759
Speaker 1: ethereal rock or some there's not going to be an

797
00:49:29,760 --> 00:49:33,520
Speaker 1: angeld descend on your window with a little scroll, just

798
00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:38,360
Speaker 1: giving you the inside. What are your thoughts around purpose?

799
00:49:40,280 --> 00:49:44,080
Speaker 3: I think, do whatever is in front of you, do

800
00:49:44,200 --> 00:49:50,040
Speaker 3: what do the things you love where possible, but whatever

801
00:49:50,160 --> 00:49:53,120
Speaker 3: is under your nose, do it the best that you

802
00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:57,440
Speaker 3: can do it, and watch it lead you toward other opportunities.

803
00:49:58,440 --> 00:50:04,040
Speaker 3: And so our purpose evolves as we put our heart

804
00:50:04,080 --> 00:50:09,440
Speaker 3: and soul into our life and work, and sometimes someone

805
00:50:09,480 --> 00:50:12,759
Speaker 3: will notice us and pluck us from where we are,

806
00:50:14,160 --> 00:50:20,640
Speaker 3: and so that's how our career moves. Sometimes we develop

807
00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:24,080
Speaker 3: our skills and our confidence and we go and do

808
00:50:24,400 --> 00:50:30,439
Speaker 3: that thing ourselves. But my thought is that you give

809
00:50:30,480 --> 00:50:33,040
Speaker 3: your heart and soul to whatever is in front of you,

810
00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:37,240
Speaker 3: even if it isn't ideal. If you're sweeping a shopping center,

811
00:50:37,360 --> 00:50:40,360
Speaker 3: do it your best and watch it lead you to

812
00:50:40,440 --> 00:50:46,200
Speaker 3: something better. And similarly, with relationships, you don't worry about

813
00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:51,959
Speaker 3: whether well Okay, you know you're on a new date

814
00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:54,320
Speaker 3: and you say, well, I just don't know that Mary

815
00:50:54,440 --> 00:50:57,320
Speaker 3: is the one. That is not the problem. The issue

816
00:50:57,360 --> 00:51:01,520
Speaker 3: is that you give your best who having a joyous

817
00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:04,359
Speaker 3: time with Mary, and it goes for as long as

818
00:51:04,360 --> 00:51:07,360
Speaker 3: it goes, and maybe Mary will be the one, or

819
00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:12,520
Speaker 3: maybe she won't. But you put your your best into

820
00:51:12,520 --> 00:51:15,279
Speaker 3: whatever is in front of you and it leads you

821
00:51:15,400 --> 00:51:16,160
Speaker 3: somewhere better.

822
00:51:17,560 --> 00:51:20,000
Speaker 1: My dad did exactly what you said with a Mary

823
00:51:20,200 --> 00:51:22,560
Speaker 1: who happens to be my mum, and it worked out

824
00:51:22,560 --> 00:51:22,960
Speaker 1: for him.

825
00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:25,640
Speaker 2: So there you go, everyone now.

826
00:51:25,680 --> 00:51:28,799
Speaker 1: Being happy, follow your Heart and How Life Works are

827
00:51:28,800 --> 00:51:32,400
Speaker 1: some of Andrew's books. He's only sold eight million copies,

828
00:51:32,400 --> 00:51:34,200
Speaker 1: So Andrew try harder eight.

829
00:51:34,200 --> 00:51:36,360
Speaker 2: Million copies in forty eight languages.

830
00:51:36,640 --> 00:51:40,080
Speaker 1: All right, He's got me covered everyone, and his latest

831
00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:41,799
Speaker 1: book is called Bouncing Back.

832
00:51:42,280 --> 00:51:42,480
Speaker 2: Mate.

833
00:51:42,480 --> 00:51:46,200
Speaker 1: Do you want to steer our audience towards anything, any

834
00:51:46,280 --> 00:51:48,719
Speaker 1: products or website or where do you want to tell

835
00:51:48,719 --> 00:51:49,319
Speaker 1: people to go?

836
00:51:50,320 --> 00:51:56,200
Speaker 3: Thank you, Craig. So my website is Andrewmatthews dot com.

837
00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:59,640
Speaker 3: Andrew Matthews is all one word and to teaser the Matthews.

838
00:52:01,280 --> 00:52:05,239
Speaker 3: So you can join my newsletter. I do a newsletter

839
00:52:05,360 --> 00:52:10,680
Speaker 3: every two weeks and it's a cartoon and maybe a

840
00:52:10,719 --> 00:52:14,640
Speaker 3: few sentences. I don't want to burden you. I also

841
00:52:14,840 --> 00:52:20,400
Speaker 3: have a lot of videos on YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook.

842
00:52:20,760 --> 00:52:25,080
Speaker 3: You can join me on Facebook Andrew Matthews author and

843
00:52:26,440 --> 00:52:29,080
Speaker 3: join me contact me, let me know how you found

844
00:52:29,080 --> 00:52:32,640
Speaker 3: this chat with Craig, and let Craig know how you

845
00:52:32,680 --> 00:52:34,760
Speaker 3: found it. Maybe we can do this again.

846
00:52:35,520 --> 00:52:37,040
Speaker 2: I'd love to you're a gun.

847
00:52:38,160 --> 00:52:40,560
Speaker 1: There's about five percent of people I get on who

848
00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:43,960
Speaker 1: are well, most of good, but there's five percent that

849
00:52:44,040 --> 00:52:46,080
Speaker 1: make my job very, very easy, and you're in the

850
00:52:46,120 --> 00:52:46,839
Speaker 1: top one cent.

851
00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:49,600
Speaker 2: So thank you, sir. I appreciate you.

852
00:52:50,160 --> 00:52:53,440
Speaker 1: Well, say goodbye off air, but for the moment officially, Andrew,

853
00:52:53,480 --> 00:52:54,359
Speaker 1: thanks for having a chat.

854
00:52:54,400 --> 00:52:56,080
Speaker 2: It's been really nice. I appreciate you.

855
00:52:57,239 --> 00:52:58,600
Speaker 3: Thank you, Craig. My pleasure.