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Speaker 1: And so it came to pass that on the first

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Speaker 1: day of the first month in the year of our

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Speaker 1: Lord twenty and eighteen, life was breathed into the cast

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Speaker 1: of pod that would one day be known across the

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Speaker 1: lands and seas as the U Project. And as word

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Speaker 1: of the pod caught fire among the people, surely did

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Speaker 1: they come from the ends of the earth. Came they

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Speaker 1: hungering and thirsting, after wisdom, after mirth, after tales of

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Speaker 1: struggle and triumph, and lo the host one crag of

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Speaker 1: harbor did wax long of tongue and stout of heart,

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Speaker 1: gathering unto him sages and healers and warriors, scribes and jestures,

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Speaker 1: and Tiffith and Melissareth. And they spake of the mind

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Speaker 1: and of the body, of toil, and of rest, of folly,

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Speaker 1: and of triumph, and of the mysteries of the soul.

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Speaker 1: And verily, two thousand times was the pod cast forth

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Speaker 1: upon the air and across the lands among the people.

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Speaker 1: And two thousand times did it find ears willing to

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Speaker 1: hear was the multitude thereof, for they number of in

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Speaker 1: hosts beyond counting. And it was good, yay, even very good.

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Speaker 1: So let it be known unto this generation and unto

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Speaker 1: those yet unborn. This is the two thousandth chapter in

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Speaker 1: the great Chronicle of the U Project, and yet the

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Speaker 1: story continues. Huppy two thousand to us, Happy two thousand

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Speaker 1: two hours, Happy two thousand two us, Happy two thousand episodes.

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Speaker 1: Did you ever think we'd get here? Cook?

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Speaker 2: I just felt like that was every birthday message you've

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Speaker 2: ever sung me. I'm so happy that everyone got to

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Speaker 2: hear a rendition of it.

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Speaker 1: Happy. Well, I did not think we'd get it. Hello,

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Speaker 1: Everyone's two thousandth episode. Try and say that ten times

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Speaker 1: fast of the U Project. Tiffany and Cook, we've got

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Speaker 1: a very very special not the TIFFs not special, but

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Speaker 1: we get her all the time, so not that special,

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Speaker 1: slightly more special than me. But we've got a very

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Speaker 1: special guest coming up later in the show. But I'm

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Speaker 1: glad that we're getting to do this, And so I'm

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Speaker 1: going to start by thanking you. You're my first person.

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Speaker 1: Like you know, you've really evolved. You've graduated from the

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Speaker 1: Bamboo and from coming to the shows and sitting up

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Speaker 1: the back, then up the front, then being part of

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Speaker 1: the program and telling people where to have a wee

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Speaker 1: and where to sit, and you know, and then and

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Speaker 1: now look at you. Now you're just crushing it and

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Speaker 1: killing it and you've got your own show and your

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Speaker 1: own speaking career. Would you have thought that it was

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Speaker 1: eight years ago? That, I mean coming up to jan one.

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Speaker 1: So the first episode was January one, twenty eighteen. So

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Speaker 1: in the near future, it's going to be eight years

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Speaker 1: What do you does it seem like it's gone quick

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Speaker 1: for you?

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Speaker 2: Real quick? It does not seem that long. Well, I

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Speaker 2: must have come about around the couple of hundred mark,

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Speaker 2: I reckon, do you think.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, don't you know what? I looked at

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Speaker 1: the other I didn't even know when their first episode was.

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Speaker 1: I had to look it up. And then like in

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Speaker 1: the first month, I think we did two episodes. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: what the fuck were we doing? I did one like

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Speaker 1: on January one, and then like January seventeen or something.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, what overwhelm people? Yeah, well I didn't want

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Speaker 1: to start with a bang, did I. I'm like, well,

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Speaker 1: it certainly eased into it, Like I mean, I feel

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Speaker 1: like we've always done seven a week, which we clearly haven't.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I remember over time we went from kind

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Speaker 1: of one ishe wow. I think we did like I said,

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Speaker 1: a couple of month and then we did like then

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Speaker 1: I think we made the big decision of like three

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Speaker 1: a week, which was like three a week. How are

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Speaker 1: you going to do three a week? Like, fucking that's

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Speaker 1: a lot, and how are you going to come up

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Speaker 1: with ideas and people and conversation. I'm like, and now

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Speaker 1: we do seven and not that it's easy peasy, but

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Speaker 1: we never seem to run out of shit to talk about.

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Speaker 1: So Tiff, thank you very much. I appreciate you, and

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm always fucking with you, but I appreciate you.

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Speaker 1: You're great at what you do. It's been really nice

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Speaker 1: to see over eight years your development, your evolution and

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Speaker 1: you know, and to do this with you and have

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Speaker 1: fun with you. It's been great. And the typ family

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Speaker 1: love you. So on behalf of me. And then thanks

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Speaker 1: thanks for making this what it is.

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Speaker 2: I appreciate you, Thanks everyone, Thanks Harp. Thanks for letting

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Speaker 2: me wrap on that door hard enough and long enough

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Speaker 2: that you let me in.

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Speaker 1: Well, you were persistent, you were like that bungle infection,

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Speaker 1: but you know it turned out to be less painful.

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Speaker 1: It's yeah. So two thousand episodes. Oh my god. So

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Speaker 1: here's the deal everyone, I kind of threw out I

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Speaker 1: kind of threw out some feedback or some ideas for

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Speaker 1: you from you about feedback about what we might do.

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Speaker 1: And this is just the bottom line. So everyone at

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Speaker 1: the minute is super busy. Melissa is super busy, TIFFs

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Speaker 1: super busy. I'm super busy. I feel sick of talking

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Speaker 1: about or tired of talking about my own bullshit because

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Speaker 1: I feel you must all fucking roll your eyes and go,

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Speaker 1: for God's sake, finish that fucking PhD. I'm with you,

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Speaker 1: like soon, once it's done, I promise I won't talk

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Speaker 1: about it for a year. I'm sick of talking about

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Speaker 1: it too. But it's just a reality of my life.

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Speaker 1: It's an ever present. You know how you have things

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Speaker 1: on the to do list and you do them, well,

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Speaker 1: this one never fucking goes off the to do list, right,

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Speaker 1: so it just sits up there under two and then

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Speaker 1: you know, the last month or two I've been a

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Speaker 1: bit crook, And I feel so fucking good now. I'm

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Speaker 1: so grateful, truly feel good. Like if ten out of

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Speaker 1: ten is awesome, I feel about eight right now. If

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Speaker 1: I know you don't feel great, but I'll be interested

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Speaker 1: to monitor your score through the show because I'm like, fuck, Zanax,

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Speaker 1: I Am no, not Xanax. What's the one that makes

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Speaker 1: you happy? Prozac? I'm like Prozac with a bald head.

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Speaker 1: And so I was really thinking about what's some whiz

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Speaker 1: bang fucking event that we can do, and it just

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Speaker 1: was not going to happen practically. And I also thought

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Speaker 1: about getting, you know, maybe ten people that have been

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Speaker 1: really instrumental in the development of the show and really

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Speaker 1: integral to what we've created. And then I thought, I'm

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Speaker 1: going to pick ten people, and ten are going to

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Speaker 1: fucking hate my guts, or twenty are gonna hate my

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Speaker 1: guts because I didn't pick them, you know. And even

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Speaker 1: I've got a list of people I want to thank

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Speaker 1: who've been regulars, and I'm like, fuck, imagine if there's

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Speaker 1: someone obvious that not because they're not important, but they've

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Speaker 1: just skipped my mind. Like I'm terrified that there's not

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Speaker 1: someone on the list that's been on the show thirty

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Speaker 1: times or something. So when I read that list, I

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Speaker 1: want you just to go. Have you thought about anyway

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Speaker 1: I probably should have done that off anyway? Fuck it,

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Speaker 1: This is how we work, so what I thought I

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Speaker 1: would do today and we'll get there, not yet. But

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Speaker 1: so this episode is really it's really almost like a

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Speaker 1: synopsis of the stuff that has really been powerful for

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Speaker 1: me since January one, twenty and eight end for me

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Speaker 1: that I think the messages and the ideas and the

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Speaker 1: stories and the science that has been really powerful, the

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Speaker 1: stuff that has really moved the needle for a lot

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Speaker 1: of people, the stuff that we get a lot of

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Speaker 1: feedback about. So when we get there, Tiff and I

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Speaker 1: are going to go through that. She's got a little

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Speaker 1: list in front of her, and I'm just going to

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Speaker 1: expand on what I think are basically some really powerful

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Speaker 1: ideas or strategies or pice is that we can integrate

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Speaker 1: into our life that are relatively simple but at the

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Speaker 1: same time really powerful. So, without further ado, you and

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Speaker 1: I were chatting about this yesterday. I want to see

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Speaker 1: if you can remember the list because I couldn't, and

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you I got in front of me,

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Speaker 1: so I'm cheating. But one of the things that I

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Speaker 1: guess a lot of people don't think about TIF is that,

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Speaker 1: like we've been going for so long that there's quite

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Speaker 1: a few of our guests who have actually passed away

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Speaker 1: since we chatted with them, and I just want to

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Speaker 1: honor those people and I want to send, you know,

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Speaker 1: all the good vibes and energy to their family and

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Speaker 1: their loved ones and just say that to them, thank

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Speaker 1: you for allowing us to have your person on our show,

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Speaker 1: and we really value them and we value you. So

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Speaker 1: who can you remember that's on the list? So I

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Speaker 1: think there's oh god, if I get this wrong, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, I've got six on my list. So these

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Speaker 1: are people that have been on the show that have

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Speaker 1: sadly moved on to the great podcast in the sky.

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Speaker 1: Who have you got?

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Speaker 2: All right, you have put me on the spot. We've

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Speaker 2: got Johnny Ruffo.

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Speaker 1: Okay, stop, Johnny the beautiful Johnny Ruffo. How funny was

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Speaker 1: Johnny Ruffo?

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Speaker 2: The best?

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Speaker 1: You know, people always say nice things about people once

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Speaker 1: they're gone, and even if they thought they were Dix,

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Speaker 1: they go, oh, he's such an amazing human. It's like

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Speaker 1: she never said a good thing about him while it

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Speaker 1: was alive. But Johnny Ruffo, clearly I didn't know much

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Speaker 1: about him. He was a singer, he was an entertainer,

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Speaker 1: who's an Australian kind of beautiful human being and I'm like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we've got another guy on the show. I think I

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Speaker 1: watched five minutes of him on some kind of YouTube

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Speaker 1: something and read a bit about him. You who he was,

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Speaker 1: but I didn't, and when I met him, and I

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Speaker 1: just genuinely if you haven't heard that podcast, I'm not

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Speaker 1: just saying this, I loved it, And yeah, he was

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Speaker 1: somebody who was just at the cold face of pain

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Speaker 1: and sickness and not that far away from death's doore

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Speaker 1: just being hilarious and compassionate. What do you remember were

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Speaker 1: you on that show or did you just listen?

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Speaker 2: He's just so fun and so funny and playful.

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Speaker 1: Do you remember when he was talking about how he

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Speaker 1: had to go and jack off into a little plastic

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Speaker 1: bottle to get a These are the things I remember,

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Speaker 1: just to honor Johnny, like he was talking about everyone

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Speaker 1: how he had to or he and his partner decided

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Speaker 1: that he would, you know, donate or not donate, but

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Speaker 1: but get store a sperm sample. And then he was

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Speaker 1: talking about how that worked with his mum, Like outside

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Speaker 1: the cubicle about four meters away, do you need anything?

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Speaker 1: Are you good? Yeah, I probably need you to not

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Speaker 1: talk like that's clearly not going to help. And just

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Speaker 1: his ability to say, you know, be that that raw

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Speaker 1: and real and open. And there was no show, There

200
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Speaker 1: was no Johnny Ruffo's show. That was just him. I

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Speaker 1: love that. Yeah, who else is on our list?

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Speaker 2: Kel and Ray?

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Speaker 1: I didn't know Kerwin until the show. I knew a lot. Well,

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Speaker 1: I didn't know a lot. I'd heard a lot about him.

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Speaker 1: I feel like you probably knew more about Kerwin than

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Speaker 1: I did at the start, and you were more familiar

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Speaker 1: with his work. Of course, he was among many things,

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Speaker 1: he was kind of in the same space as me,

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Speaker 1: definitely ahead of me, like corporate stuff and professional development

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Speaker 1: and self help and all of that. Think better, do better,

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Speaker 1: be better, live better, live bigger, And Yeah, I remember

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Speaker 1: him being for me. He was a really interesting cat

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Speaker 1: because I think I just saw a bit of me

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Speaker 1: and him and I was trying to learn from him.

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Speaker 1: But he had a lot going on. But he definitely

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Speaker 1: impacted a lot of people, didn't.

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Speaker 2: He Oh huge, he had, He had a huge following,

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Speaker 2: and he he had a way to express things that

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Speaker 2: could really land. I'd followed him for years. I remember

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Speaker 2: being so excited woman got the opportunity to talk to him.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, So shout out to his family and friends

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Speaker 1: and loved ones. I'm going to mention one who you

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Speaker 1: might not remember, but he was somebody that I knew

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Speaker 1: over the years, Simon Hammond. Simon worked in the marketing

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Speaker 1: and branding space, and he'd written a couple of really

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Speaker 1: cool books. And yeah, that was very out of the blue.

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Speaker 1: He came on the show, we had a great talk,

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Speaker 1: and not long after that, he and I actually did

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Speaker 1: a in fact, I'm pretty sure it was just on

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Speaker 1: the other side of COVID. We did a workshop, a

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Speaker 1: seminar together. We worked together live, not on not on zoom,

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Speaker 1: not in the virtual world, in the physical world. And yeah,

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Speaker 1: he was a very clever, very creative, very inspirational person.

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Speaker 1: And he he got quite sick quite quickly, and you

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Speaker 1: know he was you know, it wasn't super quick like weeks,

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Speaker 1: but it was way he went way earlier than he

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Speaker 1: should have, way way earlier. So shout out to his

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Speaker 1: family and all the love to them. Who else is

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Speaker 1: on your list?

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Speaker 2: Doctor NeiMa?

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Speaker 1: Yeah Nima, not doctor, but pharmacist. Yeah, Nima a Larbi. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so Nima was on a bunch and did you did

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Speaker 1: you do it? Ever? Do any shows with him?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. I think he quite

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Speaker 1: liked you too, because I used to have dinner with

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Speaker 1: him once a month and he would always ask me

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Speaker 1: about you and Melissa, and he's like, I think he

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Speaker 1: told me. Once he goes Tips jacked and I go, yeah,

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Speaker 1: she's jacked because you did. I'm pretty sure you did

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Speaker 1: one episode in a singlet. He's like, fucking hell, look

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Speaker 1: at that shit. Excuse me, excuse my language, everybody bit

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Speaker 1: Tip's okay with that. Look at that. She's like what.

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Speaker 1: He's like, what the fuck does she do? Because he's

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Speaker 1: a pharmacist. He goes to me, is she on anything?

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Speaker 1: I go just high on life, bro high on life.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, so yeah, that that was very sad

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Speaker 1: for me. He and I were good friends, and yeah

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Speaker 1: that was sad. That was sadd He makes sad stuff.

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Speaker 1: I think there's two more. Can you remember either of them?

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Speaker 2: I think I remember both. Danny Frawley. That was before

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Speaker 2: I joined the show, but you've talked about having him

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Speaker 2: on a lot.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Shout out to Spud's family, all the girls and

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Speaker 1: his wife Anita and I'm pretty sure that's correct. Apologies

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Speaker 1: if it's not. But yeah, that was that was just,

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Speaker 1: you know, it was really interesting because that episode. I

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Speaker 1: don't know why I know this. I might be wrong

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Speaker 1: on this. I feel like it's one sixty eight, but

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Speaker 1: it might be something else. But yeah, so Danny was

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Speaker 1: dealing with a bunch of stuff he had. He had

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Speaker 1: mental health issues and lots of I think lots of

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Speaker 1: concussion and trauma, and he was struggling with things and

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Speaker 1: he came in here to my house in my studio

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Speaker 1: and chatted with Melissa and I and he was just

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Speaker 1: just a brave, like just a bloke. Just he always

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Speaker 1: tried to be you know, when people are you know,

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Speaker 1: they're hurting, but then when they're around people, they try

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Speaker 1: not to show it. Yeah, you know that he was

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Speaker 1: just trying to be an eight and he probably felt

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Speaker 1: like a one. And yeah, so that that kind of

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Speaker 1: fucked me up. I'm going to be honest, as they

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Speaker 1: all did.

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Speaker 2: Thirty eight. So that was very early thirty eight.

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Speaker 1: Wow, thank you, Well, I was fucking way wrong. I

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Speaker 1: had an eight in it. Yeah, so way way back,

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Speaker 1: and it wouldn't have been that long. It was within

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Speaker 1: five or six months that he passed away after that chat,

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Speaker 1: but that that that particular conversation, I'm glad. I've got that.

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Speaker 1: It's always going to be a little bit of a

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Speaker 1: gift to me. And the last one that we had

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Speaker 1: was someone that you and I never met in person,

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Speaker 1: but fuck, I loved her. Do you know a name?

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Speaker 1: You can say her name?

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Speaker 2: I can't remember her name if it's the same one

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Speaker 2: I'm thinking of.

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Speaker 1: Right, doctor Gladys McCarry.

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Speaker 2: Glenda written down. And I was trying to say.

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Speaker 1: They're very close, but you knew her, yeah, doctor Gladys.

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Speaker 1: And she was, Oh my god, she was one hundred

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Speaker 1: and three when I interviewed her, one hundred and three.

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Speaker 1: She might have been one o two in who cares,

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Speaker 1: But she passed away last year. I think I might

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Speaker 1: be out by a bit, but I think she was

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Speaker 1: one hundred and four, and my god, like she wasn't

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Speaker 1: working as a doctor still, but she was as in

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Speaker 1: not being paid, but she was still talking to people

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Speaker 1: on the phone and still consulting in that sense, and

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Speaker 1: still giving advice and still sharing her wisdom. And I

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Speaker 1: remember sitting talking to her and looking at her on zoom.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, no, no offense to my mum, but like

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Speaker 1: when I spoke to her, my mum would have been

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Speaker 1: eighty three. I'm like, kind of just looks like my mum, Like,

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Speaker 1: and Mary looks fine. It's like Mary doesn't look one

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Speaker 1: hundred and three. But I'm like, how does and her

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Speaker 1: brain and a recall and her stories and and I

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Speaker 1: remember her telling me that I think she told us

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Speaker 1: in the thing that she walks a minimum of three

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Speaker 1: thousand steps a day. I'm like, how do you do that?

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Speaker 1: Like incredible? So anyway, I don't want to bore everybody

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Speaker 1: with sad things, but I just thought we would acknowledge

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Speaker 1: all of those people and honor them because it was

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Speaker 1: a blessing to have them as part of the show.

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Speaker 1: Fair to say that this will probably be our longest

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Speaker 1: ever episode. Here you go, and I think I just

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Speaker 1: want to share a few things, and TIF I want

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Speaker 1: you to as well, whatever you want. But people often

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Speaker 1: ask me, you know when people say that but people

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Speaker 1: don't actually ask them. I hate it when people go, oh,

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Speaker 1: people ask me all the time, and then you're like, no,

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Speaker 1: they don't fucking ask you that at all. You just

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Speaker 1: want to talk about it. Well, in this case, it's

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Speaker 1: actually true. People do ask me, maybe because it seems

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Speaker 1: like I'm very fucking unprepared. How much do I actually

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Speaker 1: research and plan? While the answer boys and girls sit

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Speaker 1: the far down, not that much. I know. I know

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Speaker 1: you're thinking, oh my god, but it's so polished and

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Speaker 1: so the answer. The answer is like truly like you

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Speaker 1: and I have spoken about this many times, right in

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Speaker 1: terms of how much do you prepare and then how

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Speaker 1: much do you just go in going look, I've done

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Speaker 1: this many times, which is not say I'm brilliant at it,

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Speaker 1: but I've done It's like going, oh, I'm going to

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Speaker 1: meet this guy to have a chat to him at

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Speaker 1: the cafe. Ah, I'm going to plan a script before

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Speaker 1: I go there. I'm going to think of all the questions.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to write all the questions down and then

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Speaker 1: think about the questions he might ask, and then what

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Speaker 1: my answers to his theoretical question. It's just fucking dumb.

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Speaker 1: It's like, but this is one of the only things, like,

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Speaker 1: especially with podcasts, where it's not like we're giving a presentation.

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Speaker 1: We're not rocking up to BHP and doing a corporate

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Speaker 1: gig to one thousand people. We're in our footy shorts

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Speaker 1: with no fucking idea of what we're doing. They were

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Speaker 1: sitting down on a mic with a human you know.

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Speaker 1: So for me, who I am better when I'm just

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Speaker 1: free range, free range chicken just banging on a mic

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Speaker 1: than I am when I'm super organized, Which is not

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Speaker 1: to say I don't do any prep. If it's someone

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Speaker 1: that I absolutely don't know, I'll read a bit about them,

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Speaker 1: I'll figure out what they do and who they are,

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Speaker 1: but I won't do a deep dive because I like

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Speaker 1: not knowing the answers. I like not knowing the answers

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Speaker 1: to the questions I'm going to ask. You know, Oh,

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Speaker 1: they grew up on the beach in Western Australia and

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Speaker 1: surfed every day till they was fifteen. Oh wow, and

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Speaker 1: now they're a writer or whatever it is. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: what happened to the surfing or all that kind of stuff.

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Speaker 1: So the answer is the answer is what about you?

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Speaker 1: Are you a big prepper? I feel like you're probably

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Speaker 1: in my wheelhouse somewhere.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I learned very early on when I started podcasting

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Speaker 2: that less preparation for me was better for the same

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Speaker 2: reason you've just described. Which is my natural curiosity, will

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Speaker 2: lead me to where the conversation needs to go, and

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Speaker 2: any preparation just make would make that stilted or overthinking.

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Speaker 2: So I remember the first time having I remember Dave

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Speaker 2: Hughes booking, and I'd been badgering him as I do

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Speaker 2: look in and I was waiting for response, and then

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Speaker 2: randomly one day he goes, what about now, and I'm like,

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Speaker 2: and I remember going panic, I'm not prepared, And then

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Speaker 2: it was like, TIF, you don't prepare, sit the f down,

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Speaker 2: say yes and that.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, well that's the thing. I think everybody's got

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Speaker 1: to play to their strengths while working on their weaknesses,

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Speaker 1: right Like, if you're really good at something, well fucking

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Speaker 1: keep doing that, but make sure that's not the only

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Speaker 1: thing you can do. Make sure that if you do

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Speaker 1: have to. It's like me, and I've said this to

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Speaker 1: me many times, but when I had to do my

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Speaker 1: reviews for my PhD, when you go and you stand

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Speaker 1: in front of a panel and you've got to talk

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Speaker 1: to these four professors who don't know you, don't care

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Speaker 1: about you, neither should they. What I mean is it's

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Speaker 1: just an academic kind of milestone that they're going to

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Speaker 1: review you, grill you, question you, and put all of

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Speaker 1: your research and your methodology and everything under the spotlight.

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Speaker 1: And you need to be able to just talk in

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Speaker 1: real time and answer hard questions with much smarter than

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Speaker 1: you people. Well, for me, that's the scariest fucking thing

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Speaker 1: I've done in the last ten years. Right. But I

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Speaker 1: remember doing a gig a few months ago where and

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Speaker 1: I wrote about it the other day on LinkedIn, and

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Speaker 1: I was standing on the stage and there was a

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Speaker 1: thousand people in the room and I got introduced and

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Speaker 1: the room went quiet, and I could pretty much hear

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Speaker 1: my heart and it was great, and the lights went

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Speaker 1: down and everybody and I just had this awareness that

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Speaker 1: one thousand people are staring at me. My feeling on

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Speaker 1: my emotion was excitement. I'm like, how fucking lucky am I?

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Speaker 1: How great is this? But in front of those those

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Speaker 1: four profs, absolutely out of my wheelhouse, because in that environment,

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Speaker 1: they don't give a fuck if you're funny or intuitive

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Speaker 1: or on the spot, or you've got great stories or

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Speaker 1: great or who you are or oh yeah, did you

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Speaker 1: know I've got a great podcast? Well, no, we don't care.

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Speaker 1: You're just a student. And you're in the middle of

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Speaker 1: an academic fucking formality, So stop, you know, we don't

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Speaker 1: care if you're funny, we don't care if you're old,

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Speaker 1: we don't care. We just want to know about your

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Speaker 1: research because we're going to give you, you know, a green light,

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Speaker 1: orange light, or red light. So stop fucking around and

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Speaker 1: just start telling us about what you've done. Like, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, I'm so scared. You're so mean love me,

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Speaker 1: Like all my fucking insecurity came out.

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Speaker 2: Well, let me ask you this, when you have a

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Speaker 2: guest on when you decide to have a guest come back,

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Speaker 2: did that at any stage or does it kind of

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Speaker 2: trigger Oh? How do I make this conversation difference? Because

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Speaker 2: when I do that, that's where I sometimes feel a

431
00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:10,920
Speaker 2: bit more nervous of, Like how do I make sure

432
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:14,159
Speaker 2: I don't just have the exact same conversation that I

433
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:16,400
Speaker 2: had two years ago that I just can't remember.

434
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:21,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I do think about that. I don't worry

435
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:25,159
Speaker 1: about it. I think I'm just conscious of it. But

436
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:29,480
Speaker 1: I also like we had, well, who's up today? A

437
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:33,200
Speaker 1: lady called Rachel Pope who is for one of a

438
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:36,080
Speaker 1: better term and experts in or teaches and talks about

439
00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:40,360
Speaker 1: and works in the space of grief. And I had

440
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:43,280
Speaker 1: her on probably last time was three years ago or something,

441
00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:46,919
Speaker 1: and I think, you know what, we could have the

442
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:50,719
Speaker 1: same conversation. We're not going to, but we could have

443
00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:53,800
Speaker 1: it because I can't even remember what we said three

444
00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:57,280
Speaker 1: years ago and I was the fucking host. So and

445
00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:59,600
Speaker 1: then the amount of people that listened to that episode

446
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:02,160
Speaker 1: three years ago that are going to listen now three

447
00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:05,920
Speaker 1: years later, and the amount that they recall from that,

448
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:09,439
Speaker 1: you know, three year ago experience, I don't think you

449
00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:11,720
Speaker 1: need to worry about as much as you might think

450
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:15,440
Speaker 1: you do. However, if you had them on six weeks ago,

451
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:18,359
Speaker 1: eight weeks ago, that's different. That's different.

452
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:21,040
Speaker 2: And also do you think you changed, Like you've changed

453
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:23,520
Speaker 2: and what you know has changed, and how you perceive

454
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:27,720
Speaker 2: the world has changed. So your questions and ideas about

455
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:29,879
Speaker 2: what you're hearing when she speaks changed.

456
00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:34,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh look, I'm different. I don't necessarily think I'm better,

457
00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:40,200
Speaker 1: but I'm definitely different. I think i'm a better listener.

458
00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:43,679
Speaker 1: I think I'm a better I could be wrong, like

459
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:47,840
Speaker 1: I've still got a million flaws, but I think I'm

460
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:50,640
Speaker 1: I think I'm better at teaching stuff in a way

461
00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:53,320
Speaker 1: that resonates more than I used to. You know, I

462
00:25:53,359 --> 00:25:55,760
Speaker 1: think one of the things that's you know, do my

463
00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:59,160
Speaker 1: research has helped with is trying to disseminate complicated shit

464
00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:06,320
Speaker 1: into a language and a conversation that isn't so complicated,

465
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:10,000
Speaker 1: you know, Like, how do I teach nonscience? Ye? People science,

466
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:13,600
Speaker 1: so it doesn't sound like science because it's just really

467
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:17,280
Speaker 1: about the human experience. It's like, everyone's got to eat.

468
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:19,359
Speaker 1: Let's talk about food, but let's talk about food in

469
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:22,199
Speaker 1: a way that they understand and it's meaningful. Everybody's got

470
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:25,360
Speaker 1: a mind, So let's talk about psychology without even mentioning

471
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:29,800
Speaker 1: the words psychology. You know, everybody's got to kind of

472
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:32,720
Speaker 1: grow old. But the way that we grow old or

473
00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:37,560
Speaker 1: the way that we age is somewhat a variable, and

474
00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:40,600
Speaker 1: we have some say into that. So how do I

475
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,600
Speaker 1: talk about you know, longevity and health span and all

476
00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:46,960
Speaker 1: of these things that can be very nuanced and very

477
00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:51,680
Speaker 1: complicated to talk about without any of that, without the nuance,

478
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:56,440
Speaker 1: without the complication, without the psychobabble, without the academic jargon,

479
00:26:57,240 --> 00:27:00,600
Speaker 1: to just give people stuff that is for them, something

480
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:04,399
Speaker 1: they can turn into behavior, Like, oh, I heard Craig

481
00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 1: talk about this, and now I'm going to try it. Boom,

482
00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:12,159
Speaker 1: that's perfect, you know. So that's that's that making and

483
00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:15,520
Speaker 1: this is I think we are the you know I

484
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:17,240
Speaker 1: said the other day when I wrote that thing about

485
00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:21,800
Speaker 1: standing on stage and sharing like everything that you and

486
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:26,679
Speaker 1: I share other than just personal stories like you and

487
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:29,000
Speaker 1: I am not saying anything that really that has never

488
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:32,080
Speaker 1: been said before, Like you're not the wisdom. I'm not

489
00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:35,080
Speaker 1: the wisdom. You're not the magic. I'm not the magic.

490
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:37,560
Speaker 1: You're not the gold. I'm not the gold. We're just

491
00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:40,719
Speaker 1: having a conversations and trying to point people towards it.

492
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:44,119
Speaker 1: Like we're the conduit to the wisdom. Where the conduit

493
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:47,080
Speaker 1: to the ideas? Where the conduit to the science. I'm

494
00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:50,480
Speaker 1: not the science. I'm just a bloke who's falling over

495
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:55,240
Speaker 1: the line of a PhD. Like fucking idiot. You know.

496
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:59,280
Speaker 1: It's it's so I think that you take that responsibility

497
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:03,120
Speaker 1: off your shop and you go look, you know, it's

498
00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:05,120
Speaker 1: like I said, how often do I get something wrong

499
00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:05,680
Speaker 1: on this show?

500
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:05,840
Speaker 2: Well?

501
00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:09,000
Speaker 1: I haven't kept score, but I'm pretty sure that there

502
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:11,879
Speaker 1: would in two thousand episodes, be at least five thousand

503
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:15,320
Speaker 1: mistakes of something that I said that was either a

504
00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:18,639
Speaker 1: bit wrong or completely fucking wrong. Or it might just

505
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:22,119
Speaker 1: be that, you know, I'm all over the mic and

506
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:23,960
Speaker 1: tip saying get the fuck off the mic. Or it

507
00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:27,520
Speaker 1: might be that somebody said something I didn't really listen.

508
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:30,679
Speaker 1: You know, It's a million things. But that's what I

509
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:37,560
Speaker 1: love about the organicness of an unscripted, unplanned, in the moment,

510
00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:42,560
Speaker 1: real world, just chat that happens to be recorded for

511
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 1: a bunch of people.

512
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:48,360
Speaker 2: What along the way have you were there things that

513
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:51,120
Speaker 2: you decided or you noticed or you chose to work

514
00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:54,320
Speaker 2: on and that you worked on deliberately, Or did you

515
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:59,120
Speaker 2: did things just unfold and you got better looking back.

516
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:05,800
Speaker 1: I think a little bit of both. But like, I

517
00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:09,920
Speaker 1: think I really opened up to the idea of being

518
00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:13,760
Speaker 1: more vulnerable and not not like, oh yeah I hurt

519
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:16,920
Speaker 1: to everyone, not like that just made me spew in

520
00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:21,240
Speaker 1: my mouth stuff that. But but in terms of being

521
00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:24,400
Speaker 1: real and going you know, I feel like, yes, you

522
00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:26,760
Speaker 1: can talk about high performance, and you can talk about

523
00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:29,960
Speaker 1: optimal nutrition and lifestyle and diet and building a brand

524
00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:32,880
Speaker 1: and building a business and building wealth, and you know,

525
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:35,000
Speaker 1: you can talk about all of that and we do

526
00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:37,200
Speaker 1: talk about all that, how do we think better, do better,

527
00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:39,600
Speaker 1: create better, become better? How do we do that? Like

528
00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:42,760
Speaker 1: what are the key you know, attributes and habits of

529
00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:45,200
Speaker 1: high performers and all that shit, And there will always

530
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:48,200
Speaker 1: be a degree of that. But also when the person

531
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:52,240
Speaker 1: or persons that are talking about that go like, you

532
00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:54,600
Speaker 1: can edit this if you want. But before we started,

533
00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:57,480
Speaker 1: you felt kind of shit, and you go, I feel

534
00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:01,480
Speaker 1: just physically exhausted. And I said, well, do you do

535
00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:03,360
Speaker 1: you this is very real everybody. I said, do you

536
00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:04,400
Speaker 1: want to put it off? Do you want to do

537
00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:06,440
Speaker 1: it later? And you went, nah, I'll start because I

538
00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:08,840
Speaker 1: might feel better. I often feel better through it, right,

539
00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:11,920
Speaker 1: And so people aren't You're not going to watch Channel

540
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,080
Speaker 1: nine news and they're going to go, you know what,

541
00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:15,680
Speaker 1: at the start of the news, I was a bit shit,

542
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:18,240
Speaker 1: but I feel better. Everyone like I've really you know,

543
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:21,560
Speaker 1: since Jane's done the weather, I've really picked up. And

544
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:23,600
Speaker 1: now at the end of the you know that's not happening.

545
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:26,440
Speaker 1: Neither should it happen on the news or on television,

546
00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:29,240
Speaker 1: I guess. But it's like I like the fact that

547
00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:31,440
Speaker 1: I can go, well, hey, everyone, Tiff and I had

548
00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:34,000
Speaker 1: a chat before we press the go button, and she

549
00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:36,640
Speaker 1: was feeling a bit rubbish and she said, but let's

550
00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:39,520
Speaker 1: just fucking do it. You know. So your number at

551
00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:43,760
Speaker 1: the start was too what is it now? Honestly good?

552
00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:46,160
Speaker 2: Sis? Yeah, so it seeks now.

553
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:49,080
Speaker 1: That's good and I mean, yeah, so I love that

554
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:54,400
Speaker 1: transparency and it's funny. The thing I used to worry

555
00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:56,920
Speaker 1: about and fear was that if people really knew what

556
00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:59,400
Speaker 1: I was like, i'd be you know, they wouldn't listen

557
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:01,440
Speaker 1: to me, they would book me, they wouldn't want to

558
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:04,000
Speaker 1: talk to me, they wouldn't listen to my show. Wh

559
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:07,440
Speaker 1: rh right, bruh bah. It's all fear based bullshit because

560
00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:10,400
Speaker 1: what it actually does as long as you're not being

561
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:14,200
Speaker 1: just a self loathing moron, right, oh yeah, I'm shit.

562
00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:17,480
Speaker 1: No you're not. But you do fuck up, so go

563
00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:21,440
Speaker 1: I fuck up. And sometimes I'm brilliant. Sometimes I'm the

564
00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:23,840
Speaker 1: smartest in the room. Sometimes I'm the dumbest, and all

565
00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:26,680
Speaker 1: of that's okay. But I think when you are you

566
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:30,760
Speaker 1: are real with people like that, Just like why I

567
00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:34,640
Speaker 1: explained what we're doing today, like honestly, just too fucking

568
00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:38,120
Speaker 1: hard to put together a big razzle dazzle, you know,

569
00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:42,520
Speaker 1: twenty thirty people podcast with and let's do it live.

570
00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:44,360
Speaker 1: Let's you know, and we'll have one hundred people in

571
00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:47,600
Speaker 1: on the zoom call. And it's like, at this point

572
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:51,040
Speaker 1: in time, it's just logistically too hard. Could we do

573
00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:54,400
Speaker 1: it at twenty five hundred or three thousand maybe, And

574
00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:57,160
Speaker 1: if we can, then we might do it. But I mean,

575
00:31:57,200 --> 00:31:58,960
Speaker 1: this is this is just where we're at.

576
00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:03,360
Speaker 2: You know, hey around for three years, guys, Episode three

577
00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:05,960
Speaker 2: thousand is going to be a doozy, is it?

578
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:07,840
Speaker 1: All right? So there's a bunch of people I want

579
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:12,480
Speaker 1: to thank before we jump in that are just either

580
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:18,960
Speaker 1: semi regulars or regulars. Bobby of course, Bobby Capuccio. I

581
00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:21,920
Speaker 1: can't stay long because there's so many fucking people. Love Bobby,

582
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:26,960
Speaker 1: Patrick Baronello of course, Patrick James Bonello. Every Friday? Is

583
00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:29,280
Speaker 1: it every Friday? Or second? It's every second, isn't it?

584
00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:35,160
Speaker 1: Doctor Jody Richardson, Doctor Sam Casey, doctor Bill Sullivan, doctor

585
00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:39,680
Speaker 1: Jeff Grows, doctor Denise Vanesse or Furnace, doctor Car McDonald,

586
00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:45,120
Speaker 1: doctor Lillian in the Doctor Paul Taylor, the newly acquired PhD.

587
00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:49,600
Speaker 1: Doctor Paul Taylor, well done you, Doctor Alex Kofeman, doctor

588
00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:54,360
Speaker 1: Mark Cohen, doctor Hannah Coral, Jackie Lauder, Jeff Jout, Mick Hall,

589
00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:59,000
Speaker 1: David Gillespie, fucking gillespo Win, a winner chicken dinner. All

590
00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:02,480
Speaker 1: I want, all I want from Gillespow is a compliment.

591
00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:07,240
Speaker 1: I can die happy when basically tells me, imagine if

592
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:11,440
Speaker 1: could you imagine this? I say something and Gillspoe goes, oh,

593
00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:14,520
Speaker 1: I didn't know that, Thanks Craig. He's never going to

594
00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:21,400
Speaker 1: fucking say that, right, It's like this, how insecure I am?

595
00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:23,719
Speaker 1: I just want Gillispow to think I'm a bit smart,

596
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:26,440
Speaker 1: That's how insecure I am. And also around the crab

597
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:29,440
Speaker 1: who's you know, bigger and better than me and stronger

598
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:31,240
Speaker 1: than me in the gym. I know this is pathetic,

599
00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:33,840
Speaker 1: That's all right, it's pathetic. I just want him to

600
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:37,240
Speaker 1: just fucking compliment me on something. I spent twenty years

601
00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:40,200
Speaker 1: telling him he looks fucking amazing, and he basically goes, yes,

602
00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:40,960
Speaker 1: I do.

603
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:44,360
Speaker 2: I'm like, ah, I love that both of those have

604
00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:46,120
Speaker 2: once given me a compliment.

605
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:54,920
Speaker 1: Fucking hell, they all give you compliments. It's not fair, ah, Gillispow, Anna,

606
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:58,600
Speaker 1: God's worthy, my friend, Tommy Jacket, we love the Jacket,

607
00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:04,400
Speaker 1: Rush Jarrett, Tara Jarrett, his lovely wife, Kelly Smith, who's

608
00:34:04,440 --> 00:34:09,200
Speaker 1: been on a bunch lately. Kel's just hasn't Kell just

609
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:14,080
Speaker 1: fucking hasn't she just become the superstar? Uh huh, she's

610
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:16,680
Speaker 1: just hijacking that. She'll be We'll be trying to get

611
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:17,640
Speaker 1: on her show soon.

612
00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:21,680
Speaker 2: It's exactly right, you'll hit number one.

613
00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:24,040
Speaker 1: We might have to stifle her a bit. I think

614
00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:26,160
Speaker 1: she's getting a bit too big for a breitches. We

615
00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:28,280
Speaker 1: might have to just hold her back a little bit.

616
00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:32,239
Speaker 1: Maddie landsdown. Of course, Mark Labasco I haven't had for

617
00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:34,400
Speaker 1: a while, but Mark's probably been on I don't know

618
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:36,759
Speaker 1: six seven and he's been on about a million with you.

619
00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:41,440
Speaker 1: Kate Saved, the Lovely Kate Saved from beefit Food, Nicki Morrison,

620
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:45,680
Speaker 1: the Angel, Jackie Cooper, five time Olympion, five time World Champion,

621
00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:52,759
Speaker 1: ex athlete of Mine, Pete Shepherd, Brad Cunningham from the

622
00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:56,640
Speaker 1: Fit Shop, Carly Taylor and also Carly Cunningham was on

623
00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:59,759
Speaker 1: a bunch too. Carly Taylor, wife of Paul, who's a

624
00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:03,759
Speaker 1: mate using Francis Sleech, Bianca Chatfield Chatters who hasn't been

625
00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:08,520
Speaker 1: on for a while, Lucas aon. You know Lucas the

626
00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:13,360
Speaker 1: the health wellness kind of biohacking. He's moved to Dubai,

627
00:35:14,120 --> 00:35:19,200
Speaker 1: did you know that? By he's just living his best

628
00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:21,319
Speaker 1: life over I think there are a few less rules

629
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:24,280
Speaker 1: and regulations over there. I don't know what that means,

630
00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:26,520
Speaker 1: but I do know a few bodybuilders who go over

631
00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:31,160
Speaker 1: there and come back mysteriously a little bit bigger. I

632
00:35:31,239 --> 00:35:33,200
Speaker 1: don't think Lucas is doing any of that, by the way,

633
00:35:33,239 --> 00:35:35,520
Speaker 1: but I do know quite a few bodybuilders who seem

634
00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:38,360
Speaker 1: to enjoy their time over there, come back looking like

635
00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:41,719
Speaker 1: a fucking cartoon character six months ago. They look like

636
00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:44,040
Speaker 1: the bloke who delivers your pizza. I'm like, what's going on?

637
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:48,440
Speaker 1: What's going on with you? Cameron Swab, the Great Cameron Swab,

638
00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:55,080
Speaker 1: Brad McEwan, Josh Peterman, Toby Morrison, Lisa Alexander, former coach

639
00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:59,640
Speaker 1: of the Australian Diamonds, Andrew May, Steph prem and pastor

640
00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:04,800
Speaker 1: Paul Pastor Paul Joy, who's one of the greatest illustrators

641
00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:07,239
Speaker 1: in Australia, who's been on a bit but also comes

642
00:36:07,239 --> 00:36:12,439
Speaker 1: to lots of events and helps out. So all right,

643
00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:16,920
Speaker 1: anything else before we jump into these kind of this snapshot,

644
00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:20,600
Speaker 1: this kind of eight year synopsis of thoughts and ideas

645
00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:25,759
Speaker 1: and you know, strategies that we might share with the world,

646
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:26,840
Speaker 1: anything else you want to.

647
00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:31,080
Speaker 2: Share night, Let's dive in, all right, we all.

648
00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:34,600
Speaker 1: Know the typ is about sharing thoughts, ideas, stories, science,

649
00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:38,480
Speaker 1: and inspiration with the intention of supporting and empowering you.

650
00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:40,920
Speaker 1: You yep, you sitting there like a weirdo with you

651
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:45,359
Speaker 1: goofy fucking face. We love you, our audience. We love

652
00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:48,400
Speaker 1: steering you towards and supporting you towards your best life.

653
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:50,960
Speaker 1: And today I'm going to do my best to summarize

654
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:53,080
Speaker 1: some of our key themes and messages over the last

655
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:56,799
Speaker 1: eight years and maybe turn it into a kind of

656
00:36:56,840 --> 00:36:58,719
Speaker 1: a to do list, or at the very least, a

657
00:36:58,920 --> 00:37:02,399
Speaker 1: to consider to do list, and to execute that. I'm

658
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:04,800
Speaker 1: going to bring the Yin and the Yang, the Carmen,

659
00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:07,920
Speaker 1: the Storm, the Whippet, and the Golden Retriever into the conversation.

660
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:12,440
Speaker 1: And we're kicking off with the whippet. Of course we are, Hello, Whippet.

661
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:17,560
Speaker 1: Do you like that? I love that I wrote that.

662
00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:20,520
Speaker 1: It's not often I write shit, but I thought the

663
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:22,160
Speaker 1: Yin and the Yang well, you're one of them. I

664
00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:24,760
Speaker 1: don't know which, the Carmen, the Storm. We know which

665
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:27,839
Speaker 1: fucking one of those you are, and we know which

666
00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:32,840
Speaker 1: one Melissa is. Melissa's like typ Mum and the whippet

667
00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:37,839
Speaker 1: and the Golden Retriever. Well fucking say no more so.

668
00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:42,800
Speaker 1: So all right, now I've written a bunch of kind

669
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:47,680
Speaker 1: of like I would say, you know, to do list

670
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:51,560
Speaker 1: items or things that you might consider that might help

671
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:55,120
Speaker 1: your life or help you in your life create better outcomes.

672
00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:56,279
Speaker 1: Tiff Off, You.

673
00:37:56,239 --> 00:37:58,600
Speaker 2: Go assume you could be wrong.

674
00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:01,400
Speaker 1: Yes, I think it's great that we move through life

675
00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:04,360
Speaker 1: assuming that we could be wrong, because when you assume

676
00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:07,799
Speaker 1: that you cannot be wrong, shit gets messy. And so

677
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:10,480
Speaker 1: that is analogous to or the same as living in

678
00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:15,719
Speaker 1: an echo chamber or at confirmation by central So, and

679
00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:20,680
Speaker 1: we're very We're uncomfortable. Humans are uncomfortable being wrong. We

680
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:24,560
Speaker 1: like being right, We like knowing, and we like presenting

681
00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:28,879
Speaker 1: ourselves as more knowing than the next person. And one

682
00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:34,799
Speaker 1: of the problems with being unable to accept and express

683
00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:38,120
Speaker 1: the truth that well, look this is what I think,

684
00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:41,040
Speaker 1: but it could be wrong, is that we then make

685
00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:45,880
Speaker 1: ourselves unteachable and when we need it's like when we

686
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:48,879
Speaker 1: need to be right, like you think about I heard

687
00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:53,040
Speaker 1: Simon Sinek talking about this very recently. Tiffany was talking

688
00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:56,520
Speaker 1: about the fact that and I've said this, but he

689
00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:59,040
Speaker 1: articulated it better than me. He was saying, everyone who's

690
00:38:59,080 --> 00:39:02,759
Speaker 1: evil doesn't think evil. Everyone who's don't doing the wrong

691
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:06,160
Speaker 1: thing doesn't think they're doing the wrong thing. Like everyone

692
00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:09,879
Speaker 1: who believes they're absolutely right believes they are absolutely right.

693
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:13,440
Speaker 1: And therefore, believing that you are absolutely right means that

694
00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:17,919
Speaker 1: everyone who doesn't align with you is absolutely wrong. Now,

695
00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:20,719
Speaker 1: even if you just think about that, and I'm not

696
00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:23,360
Speaker 1: saying anyone's right or wrong. I'm not making any judgment

697
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:26,920
Speaker 1: on anything that you believe. But even if we just

698
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:30,760
Speaker 1: hit the fucking brakes for a moment and go, yeah,

699
00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:34,520
Speaker 1: I can't get everything right, Like I've got to be

700
00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:38,000
Speaker 1: wrong about things. And then not only the acceptance that

701
00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:40,720
Speaker 1: I will be wrong and I could be wrong numerous

702
00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:44,640
Speaker 1: times a day. Well that's the acknowledgment. But then the

703
00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:48,560
Speaker 1: next part is being okay with that and being okay

704
00:39:48,600 --> 00:39:53,040
Speaker 1: with being wrong. You know, we are especially right now.

705
00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:54,719
Speaker 1: There's so I don't even want to open the door

706
00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:56,279
Speaker 1: on what it is but we all know what's going

707
00:39:56,320 --> 00:40:00,239
Speaker 1: on at the moment, and we've just got all these

708
00:40:00,239 --> 00:40:03,160
Speaker 1: different groups shouting at each other, and you never see

709
00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:05,680
Speaker 1: someone from Group A come out and go, you know what.

710
00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:09,320
Speaker 1: I listened to Group B and TIF. I've got to

711
00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:12,799
Speaker 1: tell you that they really made some strong points, and

712
00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:15,759
Speaker 1: I realized that me and my brethren and Group A

713
00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:19,640
Speaker 1: are probably probably wrong about this particular thing. So I'm

714
00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:24,000
Speaker 1: actually I've changed my mind. I've let go of that belief.

715
00:40:24,239 --> 00:40:26,480
Speaker 1: I've actually got a new belief, or at the very least,

716
00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:30,759
Speaker 1: I'm quite willing to admit that I could be wrong

717
00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:34,120
Speaker 1: on this. But nobody does that because everybody's fucking addicted

718
00:40:34,160 --> 00:40:38,399
Speaker 1: to being right, because everybody's scared of being wrong yet,

719
00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:42,160
Speaker 1: but it's an unavoidable part of the human experience. It's

720
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:45,520
Speaker 1: so stupid that you think you can't be wrong, and

721
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:47,719
Speaker 1: people will go, oh, yeah, of course I get things wrong.

722
00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:50,400
Speaker 1: Yeah no, But in the moment, nobody accepts that they

723
00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:53,120
Speaker 1: might be. Like if someone's in an argument, or if

724
00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:57,640
Speaker 1: someone's just you know, throwing hate on the internet, and

725
00:40:57,680 --> 00:41:00,400
Speaker 1: then somebody else writes back and makes a really valid point.

726
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:03,960
Speaker 1: Show me the time where someone ever said on any

727
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:07,600
Speaker 1: fucking platform. I thought about what you said in response

728
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:10,239
Speaker 1: to what I said, and I actually think I'm wrong

729
00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:13,960
Speaker 1: and you're right. Like that never happens. So I mean,

730
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:17,800
Speaker 1: just that is something to think about. So navigating life,

731
00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:24,279
Speaker 1: being comfortable enough and humble enough and courageous enough to

732
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:26,560
Speaker 1: know that you can be wrong. I just think that

733
00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:30,960
Speaker 1: it's absolutely crucial for not only for our growth and development,

734
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:36,799
Speaker 1: but also for connection, trust, respect, rapport. Like if all

735
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:39,600
Speaker 1: you're ever doing is yelling or disagreeing with people who

736
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:42,840
Speaker 1: aren't like you or don't think like you, you're just

737
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:44,960
Speaker 1: in a cult. You're just in a cult.

738
00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:49,560
Speaker 2: Number two, Yeah, do a hard thing to get a

739
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:49,960
Speaker 2: good thing.

740
00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:52,480
Speaker 1: Oh, we love this. This is just another way of

741
00:41:52,480 --> 00:41:54,680
Speaker 1: saying something we say often. But we know that. You know,

742
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:56,560
Speaker 1: it's not about getting to the top of the mountain.

743
00:41:56,600 --> 00:41:58,640
Speaker 1: It's about the climate. It's about doing the hard thing

744
00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:00,800
Speaker 1: to get the view, to get to the finish line.

745
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:03,640
Speaker 1: And sometimes the good thing is not the view, and

746
00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:06,279
Speaker 1: it's not the finish line, it's not even the top

747
00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:08,800
Speaker 1: of the mountains. Sometimes the good thing is the growth.

748
00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:15,680
Speaker 1: Sometime is the transformation. Sometimes it's the it's the the understanding,

749
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:19,200
Speaker 1: the awareness, the resilience, the insight, the knowledge that you

750
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:22,600
Speaker 1: gain in doing that thing. Like we think it's all

751
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:26,160
Speaker 1: about the finish line, and then we realize, oh, it's

752
00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:28,520
Speaker 1: got nothing to do with it finish line. It's not

753
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:30,959
Speaker 1: about what I achieve, It's about who I become doing

754
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:34,319
Speaker 1: that thing, you know. And I think for this is

755
00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:38,080
Speaker 1: my perspective, but I think for like most of the

756
00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:41,239
Speaker 1: people that I work with, So that's a very specific group.

757
00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:44,600
Speaker 1: So I'm not talking on a global level, but I

758
00:42:44,640 --> 00:42:47,000
Speaker 1: think most of the people that I work with and coach,

759
00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:49,080
Speaker 1: and I would think a fair percentage of the people

760
00:42:49,160 --> 00:42:54,520
Speaker 1: that listen to us, they don't need to change their

761
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:58,480
Speaker 1: external world situation, circumstance environment as much as they need

762
00:42:58,520 --> 00:43:01,759
Speaker 1: to change their internal one. Because when I'm different but

763
00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:05,160
Speaker 1: in the same situation, my experience in the same situation

764
00:43:05,320 --> 00:43:08,240
Speaker 1: is different. You know, when I'm better, when I'm more resilient,

765
00:43:08,239 --> 00:43:11,520
Speaker 1: when I'm more solution focused, when I've got better energy,

766
00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:13,680
Speaker 1: when I'm sleeping better, when I'm eating better, when I'm

767
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:17,759
Speaker 1: when I'm consciously and proactively working on being a better me,

768
00:43:18,760 --> 00:43:24,600
Speaker 1: then my life experience in general is better. So my

769
00:43:24,640 --> 00:43:27,680
Speaker 1: life's situation might might stay the same, but my life

770
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:31,040
Speaker 1: experience is better, and that's because I'm doing the hard

771
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:32,080
Speaker 1: thing to get the good thing.

772
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:33,920
Speaker 2: I love that.

773
00:43:34,520 --> 00:43:35,640
Speaker 1: What are you writing down there?

774
00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:39,120
Speaker 2: I'm just writing a little note on that, maybe to

775
00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:40,520
Speaker 2: unpack in a different episode.

776
00:43:41,040 --> 00:43:44,719
Speaker 1: Yeah good, Yeah, yeah good, Next one.

777
00:43:44,719 --> 00:43:47,200
Speaker 2: Next one. I really like spend time with people who

778
00:43:47,239 --> 00:43:48,000
Speaker 2: aren't like you.

779
00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:52,000
Speaker 1: Oh yes, sorry, I'll cut you off, and so say

780
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:52,960
Speaker 1: it again, my bad.

781
00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:55,840
Speaker 2: Spend time with people who aren't like you.

782
00:43:56,440 --> 00:44:00,759
Speaker 1: Yeah. I love this because I feel like now, I

783
00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:03,160
Speaker 1: don't mean only spend time with people who aren't like you,

784
00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:05,520
Speaker 1: but I think being around people who don't share perhaps

785
00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:09,520
Speaker 1: our culture or our experiences, or our background, or our

786
00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:13,560
Speaker 1: ideas or philosophy or theology or sociology.

787
00:44:14,560 --> 00:44:14,759
Speaker 2: You know.

788
00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:18,800
Speaker 1: Probably a really easy example for me is going to

789
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:22,600
Speaker 1: university for the second time at fifty six and literally

790
00:44:22,640 --> 00:44:25,680
Speaker 1: being thirty years older on average than everyone who's doing

791
00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:29,280
Speaker 1: a PhD, and being the old guy in a room.

792
00:44:29,520 --> 00:44:32,839
Speaker 1: I think in my room there was probably I don't

793
00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:36,600
Speaker 1: know eight ten people. They were all half my age.

794
00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:41,520
Speaker 1: They're all from different backgrounds and religions and ethnicities and cultures,

795
00:44:41,920 --> 00:44:45,239
Speaker 1: and they're all fucking amazing. Like, there was truly no

796
00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:49,200
Speaker 1: one that I didn't like, like I liked all of them,

797
00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:51,880
Speaker 1: and none of them, thank God for them, none of

798
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:55,880
Speaker 1: them were like me. It just it was like, oh,

799
00:44:56,040 --> 00:45:00,279
Speaker 1: it's just going there. Apart from the research much that

800
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:02,600
Speaker 1: I was doing, but just being in that environment, I

801
00:45:02,680 --> 00:45:08,080
Speaker 1: learned so much because you know, I tend to, naturally,

802
00:45:08,120 --> 00:45:10,520
Speaker 1: as most of us do, kind of hang out with

803
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:12,600
Speaker 1: people who were a bit like us.

804
00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:18,480
Speaker 2: What did you learn about you that surprised you in

805
00:45:18,560 --> 00:45:22,720
Speaker 2: that Yeah, in that well, yeah, specifically in being around

806
00:45:23,239 --> 00:45:26,440
Speaker 2: other people, out of that echo chamber of being in

807
00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:29,279
Speaker 2: the gym with people, in the podcast with people.

808
00:45:30,440 --> 00:45:34,160
Speaker 1: I just got really interested in, not from an insecurity

809
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:36,439
Speaker 1: point of view, but from a curiosity point of view.

810
00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:41,280
Speaker 1: I got really interested in how I am for others, which,

811
00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:44,360
Speaker 1: and this was even before I actually got the research

812
00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:48,480
Speaker 1: focus for my PhD. My original focus or my original

813
00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:51,760
Speaker 1: topic was motivation. So the first three or four months

814
00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:56,239
Speaker 1: my PhD was all about motivation and a bunch of

815
00:45:56,239 --> 00:45:59,000
Speaker 1: issues around that, but it just was going to be

816
00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:01,920
Speaker 1: very problematic. But so I changed and part of that

817
00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:06,640
Speaker 1: was talking with one of the young women in the

818
00:46:06,719 --> 00:46:12,799
Speaker 1: room about about this thing about understanding how you are

819
00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:16,360
Speaker 1: for others, and I can't remember the exact conversation, but

820
00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:19,760
Speaker 1: I was thinking it. I wonder if it was weird

821
00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:21,719
Speaker 1: for them, because there's you know, there's ten people in

822
00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:24,719
Speaker 1: the room, and nine of them are somewhere between you know,

823
00:46:24,800 --> 00:46:28,160
Speaker 1: twenty two and thirty or twenty three and thirty. And

824
00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:31,000
Speaker 1: then there's this bloke who literally is probably older than

825
00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:34,320
Speaker 1: most of their parents, sitting in the farka becal listening

826
00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:39,480
Speaker 1: to fucking James Taylor in his nine sixty four headphones

827
00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:46,520
Speaker 1: and you know, so not the same. Yeah, but I

828
00:46:45,880 --> 00:46:49,880
Speaker 1: I felt energized. I'm like, oh God, I love and

829
00:46:49,920 --> 00:46:53,160
Speaker 1: you know what else, Also, when you go into that room,

830
00:46:54,440 --> 00:46:58,319
Speaker 1: nobody has any history with you, so nobody knows you.

831
00:46:58,880 --> 00:47:01,879
Speaker 1: Nobody has any expel dictations of you, maybe other than

832
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:07,000
Speaker 1: just expectations we'd have of any decent human. But nobody thinks, oh,

833
00:47:07,080 --> 00:47:09,640
Speaker 1: that's such and such he does this, or he does that.

834
00:47:09,719 --> 00:47:11,839
Speaker 1: The only thing they really knew about me was that

835
00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:15,200
Speaker 1: I was sitting in that cubicle over there, and I

836
00:47:15,239 --> 00:47:19,799
Speaker 1: was old, and you know eventually what I was researching,

837
00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:22,600
Speaker 1: and obviously we got to know each other over time.

838
00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:26,200
Speaker 1: But they didn't know I had a podcast. They didn't

839
00:47:26,239 --> 00:47:29,799
Speaker 1: know that i'd owned gym's. They didn't know that I'd

840
00:47:29,840 --> 00:47:32,280
Speaker 1: written books, they didn't know that I'd worked in media,

841
00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:35,360
Speaker 1: and not that those things are things to hang my

842
00:47:35,440 --> 00:47:37,640
Speaker 1: hat on, but like a lot of the things that

843
00:47:37,680 --> 00:47:41,160
Speaker 1: people know me for or recognize me for, they had

844
00:47:41,239 --> 00:47:43,480
Speaker 1: none of that. So it was nice to go in

845
00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:48,560
Speaker 1: almost as a blank social canvas. You know. It's like,

846
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:51,080
Speaker 1: this is just this is just me in a room

847
00:47:51,120 --> 00:47:54,439
Speaker 1: with people and I have nothing or I don't want

848
00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:59,239
Speaker 1: to impress them with any stories. I just want to

849
00:47:59,280 --> 00:48:02,000
Speaker 1: be here and go. I'm a student, your students, you

850
00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:04,440
Speaker 1: do your shit. I'll do my shit. And you know,

851
00:48:04,520 --> 00:48:07,239
Speaker 1: can you show me where the photocopy is or can

852
00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:09,719
Speaker 1: you tell me how to open this file or can

853
00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:11,520
Speaker 1: you tell me how to turn this on? You know,

854
00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:12,720
Speaker 1: just that was great.

855
00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:16,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's literally a year since I went to India

856
00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:20,080
Speaker 2: right now, and I remember before going that was my

857
00:48:20,280 --> 00:48:23,839
Speaker 2: one thing was I just wanted to be away from

858
00:48:23,960 --> 00:48:29,319
Speaker 2: everyone and everything that was familiar, to see who right,

859
00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:32,200
Speaker 2: to see who was left behind in me in my identity.

860
00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:33,120
Speaker 2: I loved that.

861
00:48:33,960 --> 00:48:37,960
Speaker 1: It is It's good in that environment where nobody really

862
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:41,520
Speaker 1: has any particular expectations of you based on what they

863
00:48:41,600 --> 00:48:46,319
Speaker 1: know about you because they don't know you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

864
00:48:46,400 --> 00:48:50,319
Speaker 1: yeah yeah. It's funny. It's funny. I've had this, I've

865
00:48:50,360 --> 00:48:53,279
Speaker 1: spoken about this, but where you know, I go to

866
00:48:53,320 --> 00:48:55,160
Speaker 1: some places and I'm there to do a gig, and

867
00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:58,120
Speaker 1: I'm there because it might be a public gig where

868
00:48:58,160 --> 00:49:00,600
Speaker 1: everyone that's booked knows me or knows me or has

869
00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:03,520
Speaker 1: listened to me or read me, and nearly everyone in

870
00:49:03,560 --> 00:49:06,640
Speaker 1: the room likes me. There's probably a few ringings like

871
00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:08,359
Speaker 1: who the fuck is this and why did you bring

872
00:49:08,400 --> 00:49:12,800
Speaker 1: me to this? But that environment is just a beautiful,

873
00:49:13,840 --> 00:49:17,120
Speaker 1: great energy. You go in, you feel special, you feel seen,

874
00:49:17,200 --> 00:49:20,840
Speaker 1: you feel fucking great, and you know your egos getting

875
00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:23,880
Speaker 1: stroked and your fucking self esteems through the roof and

876
00:49:23,880 --> 00:49:27,359
Speaker 1: you're like, fuck, I'm amazing. And then you go, I've

877
00:49:27,400 --> 00:49:30,000
Speaker 1: told you this story, and I went from literally that

878
00:49:30,160 --> 00:49:33,520
Speaker 1: in Sydney to the Quantus Club. Do you remember this story?

879
00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:35,080
Speaker 2: Yes? Yes?

880
00:49:36,200 --> 00:49:38,200
Speaker 1: And so I've gone from that environment where I'm the

881
00:49:38,239 --> 00:49:40,600
Speaker 1: fucking king of the castle and I'm just fucking up.

882
00:49:41,120 --> 00:49:44,840
Speaker 1: My shit doesn't stink. I'm so good, so by the way, everyone,

883
00:49:44,920 --> 00:49:48,480
Speaker 1: I'm fucking great, and then I walk into the Quantus club.

884
00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:50,719
Speaker 1: And you know, at this stage, I guess I'm a

885
00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:54,520
Speaker 1: fifty eight year old bloke wheeling a fucking case. And

886
00:49:54,560 --> 00:49:58,319
Speaker 1: this lady looked at me and smiled, and she was

887
00:49:58,360 --> 00:50:01,680
Speaker 1: half my age and smiled, and I'm like, well, of

888
00:50:01,719 --> 00:50:04,560
Speaker 1: course she's smiling at me. I'm Craig fucking Harper, smile

889
00:50:04,600 --> 00:50:09,080
Speaker 1: of what right. And here's the thing. Of course, she

890
00:50:09,160 --> 00:50:11,160
Speaker 1: wasn't fucking looking at me. She was looking past me,

891
00:50:11,239 --> 00:50:15,560
Speaker 1: at a much younger, better, hotter version of me. She

892
00:50:15,680 --> 00:50:17,560
Speaker 1: was looking at him, smiling at him. And then she

893
00:50:17,680 --> 00:50:21,480
Speaker 1: caught me looking all fucking glib, all fucking look, look

894
00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:23,359
Speaker 1: at you looking at me and me just so I

895
00:50:23,440 --> 00:50:25,960
Speaker 1: just smiled back at her like a weird fucking granddad,

896
00:50:26,760 --> 00:50:31,080
Speaker 1: and she basically just snit like she just had this

897
00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:34,080
Speaker 1: scowl on her face because I was and I went,

898
00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:36,440
Speaker 1: that's right, You're just an old guy with a case

899
00:50:36,440 --> 00:50:39,040
Speaker 1: in the Countess club. You're fucking no one. Go sit

900
00:50:39,080 --> 00:50:41,960
Speaker 1: in your corner and get a coffee and a dry biscuits,

901
00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:46,440
Speaker 1: dry biscuit you fuck with. And it was the best

902
00:50:46,440 --> 00:50:49,440
Speaker 1: thing ever. It was the best thing ever, because I'm like,

903
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:54,400
Speaker 1: you just get fucking carried away with yourself it's so easy.

904
00:50:54,560 --> 00:50:59,319
Speaker 1: It's so easy. That's why I've got to keep going.

905
00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:02,160
Speaker 1: You're not You're not the reason they're there.

906
00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:04,920
Speaker 2: It's the danger, though, isn't it right. We live in

907
00:51:04,960 --> 00:51:08,920
Speaker 2: the lives that we live, and we be and if

908
00:51:08,920 --> 00:51:11,640
Speaker 2: we put on a mask, like I've been reading a

909
00:51:11,640 --> 00:51:13,920
Speaker 2: lot about Carl Jung and the persona and the mask,

910
00:51:14,360 --> 00:51:17,879
Speaker 2: and it's like we present a mask in different environments.

911
00:51:18,160 --> 00:51:21,319
Speaker 2: If you just stay in that environment, keep wearing that mask,

912
00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:23,759
Speaker 2: you just think that's you. And then you step through

913
00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:26,160
Speaker 2: a door into another place and then you're like, oh,

914
00:51:26,600 --> 00:51:29,120
Speaker 2: who is this? Where am I? When do I go?

915
00:51:29,960 --> 00:51:33,040
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah? And how do I be? And who do

916
00:51:33,080 --> 00:51:35,359
Speaker 1: I be in this room? Because if I'm the same

917
00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:36,920
Speaker 1: as I was in that room, it ain't going to

918
00:51:37,000 --> 00:51:40,600
Speaker 1: work in this room. But then then how do I

919
00:51:40,600 --> 00:51:44,200
Speaker 1: amalgamate me, the person with me, the persona that shows

920
00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:48,160
Speaker 1: up in front of people without being disingenuous? How do

921
00:51:48,239 --> 00:51:50,719
Speaker 1: I be? You know, it's like you coming on the

922
00:51:50,760 --> 00:51:55,480
Speaker 1: show going I don't feel great, but that ain't great

923
00:51:55,520 --> 00:51:59,200
Speaker 1: on a podcast. So you're not being insincere or you're

924
00:51:59,239 --> 00:52:02,120
Speaker 1: not being fake, but you can't come well, you can,

925
00:52:02,160 --> 00:52:04,920
Speaker 1: but it's probably not great. You can't get on this

926
00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:07,960
Speaker 1: show or your show and go hi Ruan Nam. Look,

927
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:10,680
Speaker 1: I know it's a two thousandth episode, but fucking hell,

928
00:52:10,800 --> 00:52:15,680
Speaker 1: my bum hurts, and you know I've got to I've

929
00:52:15,760 --> 00:52:16,360
Speaker 1: got I don't.

930
00:52:16,239 --> 00:52:18,560
Speaker 2: Know, I'm just making sort of feeling crap guys.

931
00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:21,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I haven't done a pooh sense

932
00:52:21,719 --> 00:52:24,959
Speaker 1: fucking sad day and I'm a bit sad. And yeah

933
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:28,520
Speaker 1: you can't. You just got to go. But you get

934
00:52:28,520 --> 00:52:30,200
Speaker 1: on and you do what you do, right, but you

935
00:52:30,239 --> 00:52:34,480
Speaker 1: can still. Yeah, I think that's the the juggling act

936
00:52:34,520 --> 00:52:39,200
Speaker 1: of trying to be authentic but also be the person

937
00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:42,160
Speaker 1: that is good to be around without being a fraud.

938
00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:45,080
Speaker 1: Like I want to be a person that people want

939
00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:48,960
Speaker 1: to be around, not from insecurity or fear, but because

940
00:52:49,880 --> 00:52:51,800
Speaker 1: who the fuck doesn't want to be that person?

941
00:52:52,520 --> 00:52:55,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it almost links to doing the three things

942
00:52:55,160 --> 00:52:57,799
Speaker 2: you just spoke about, doing hard things, spending time with

943
00:52:57,840 --> 00:53:01,839
Speaker 2: people that aren't like you, because that's uncomfortable, Like it's

944
00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:04,399
Speaker 2: uncomfortable to go and do something that you haven't done,

945
00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:07,560
Speaker 2: but that's when you learn what it's like to feel

946
00:53:07,680 --> 00:53:11,359
Speaker 2: uncomfortable in different situations. Then you see who you are

947
00:53:11,440 --> 00:53:13,080
Speaker 2: all the time. And you learn to manage that and

948
00:53:13,120 --> 00:53:14,720
Speaker 2: then you show up as the same person.

949
00:53:15,640 --> 00:53:18,799
Speaker 1: Mm. Yeah, one hundred percent. I feel like the next

950
00:53:18,800 --> 00:53:20,640
Speaker 1: two on the list you maybe share them both, because

951
00:53:20,640 --> 00:53:23,560
Speaker 1: I think we've kind of almost covered those in the

952
00:53:23,719 --> 00:53:25,879
Speaker 1: prior conversation. But do you want to share those?

953
00:53:26,160 --> 00:53:30,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, so say I don't know, he's the next one, yep, yep.

954
00:53:30,320 --> 00:53:34,000
Speaker 1: So we've said that. Were just it's just like, I

955
00:53:34,080 --> 00:53:36,799
Speaker 1: just think it's actually quite liberating, if you know. You know,

956
00:53:36,960 --> 00:53:39,760
Speaker 1: but I remember many times being on radio on sen

957
00:53:39,840 --> 00:53:43,440
Speaker 1: Melbourne's Homosport and people going that ask me medical questions

958
00:53:43,480 --> 00:53:46,680
Speaker 1: on air. I go, well, one, haven't seen your knee. Two,

959
00:53:46,760 --> 00:53:50,200
Speaker 1: I can't hear the clicking from here. Three not a doctor,

960
00:53:50,680 --> 00:53:55,320
Speaker 1: so don't know, you know, thanks for your call, Brian.

961
00:53:55,520 --> 00:53:58,640
Speaker 1: Next and the next one.

962
00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:00,000
Speaker 2: Do what scares you?

963
00:54:00,640 --> 00:54:03,800
Speaker 1: Yeah? I think we could do a whole episode around,

964
00:54:03,920 --> 00:54:06,520
Speaker 1: and we've done We've probably done one or two. But

965
00:54:07,360 --> 00:54:09,839
Speaker 1: I'd love to even do a workshop on courage and

966
00:54:10,640 --> 00:54:13,440
Speaker 1: you know what that is and how that manifests. And

967
00:54:14,480 --> 00:54:20,640
Speaker 1: I think, you know, like when some people, well intending

968
00:54:20,680 --> 00:54:24,200
Speaker 1: people talk about, you know, being fucking fearless, I'm like, yeah,

969
00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:27,640
Speaker 1: don't be fearless. That's fucking stupid. It's like, there are

970
00:54:27,680 --> 00:54:30,799
Speaker 1: lots of things you should be fearful of or scared of,

971
00:54:31,560 --> 00:54:37,879
Speaker 1: because that's evolutionarily wired into your brain to keep you

972
00:54:38,040 --> 00:54:43,280
Speaker 1: safe and to protect you from threats. So fear actually

973
00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:49,160
Speaker 1: plays a very preserving role, like it's but then there's

974
00:54:49,239 --> 00:54:52,440
Speaker 1: you know, there's what you would call logical reasonable fears,

975
00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:56,600
Speaker 1: perhaps life saving fears, and then the ones that are

976
00:54:56,840 --> 00:55:01,920
Speaker 1: basically an emotional and a psychological prison that keep you trapped,

977
00:55:02,719 --> 00:55:07,200
Speaker 1: either emotionally or psychologically or behaviorally or even for some

978
00:55:07,280 --> 00:55:10,759
Speaker 1: people with agrophobia and things like that sociologically where you

979
00:55:10,920 --> 00:55:13,880
Speaker 1: scared to talk or scared to go out or And

980
00:55:14,680 --> 00:55:17,120
Speaker 1: so when I say, you know, do what scares you,

981
00:55:19,160 --> 00:55:21,120
Speaker 1: I don't mean run out and just the thing that

982
00:55:21,160 --> 00:55:24,480
Speaker 1: you're terrorize. Just fucking get over yourself and go do it.

983
00:55:24,520 --> 00:55:29,239
Speaker 1: But maybe there's a maybe there's a one out of

984
00:55:29,239 --> 00:55:31,839
Speaker 1: a hundred little step that you could take. Maybe there's

985
00:55:31,880 --> 00:55:34,800
Speaker 1: a maybe there's a door that you could crack open

986
00:55:34,840 --> 00:55:36,799
Speaker 1: and just have a look in. Maybe you could move

987
00:55:36,880 --> 00:55:41,960
Speaker 1: the needle a tiny bit. And like, there's nobody listening

988
00:55:41,960 --> 00:55:45,520
Speaker 1: to this that doesn't want to be courageous. There's Nobody

989
00:55:45,600 --> 00:55:48,920
Speaker 1: listening to this that doesn't want to be mentally and

990
00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:54,680
Speaker 1: emotionally strong. There's nobody listening that wants to lack resilience. Nobody,

991
00:55:55,640 --> 00:55:59,080
Speaker 1: But for most of us, some of us I think

992
00:55:59,120 --> 00:56:01,399
Speaker 1: are just more coreage just than others. I'm not one.

993
00:56:01,960 --> 00:56:07,520
Speaker 1: I'm not one. For me. The courage and the resilience

994
00:56:07,719 --> 00:56:11,319
Speaker 1: and the competence and the confidence and the skill just

995
00:56:11,520 --> 00:56:17,880
Speaker 1: evolves as you keep allowing yourself to be scared while

996
00:56:17,920 --> 00:56:20,719
Speaker 1: doing it, you know, like I did a or the

997
00:56:20,719 --> 00:56:23,240
Speaker 1: other day I did one, didn't I I'm not afraid

998
00:56:23,280 --> 00:56:26,600
Speaker 1: to be afraid, or don't be Tom Cruise said that,

999
00:56:26,640 --> 00:56:29,200
Speaker 1: which is hilarious that I'm quoting Tom Cruise, But when

1000
00:56:29,239 --> 00:56:30,800
Speaker 1: he said that, I don't know if that's I actually

1001
00:56:30,840 --> 00:56:33,480
Speaker 1: think it's original because I tried to find the original source.

1002
00:56:34,480 --> 00:56:36,719
Speaker 1: But he said, like, they'll talk about his stunts and

1003
00:56:36,719 --> 00:56:38,719
Speaker 1: all of that that he does, and like, why the

1004
00:56:38,760 --> 00:56:41,600
Speaker 1: fuck would you? He doesn't need to, but he does,

1005
00:56:42,480 --> 00:56:46,120
Speaker 1: and he's like, I'm not afraid of being afraid, and

1006
00:56:46,200 --> 00:56:48,440
Speaker 1: I'm like, I love that. I thought, yeah, that is

1007
00:56:49,280 --> 00:56:52,320
Speaker 1: that is a really simple, nice way of saying something

1008
00:56:52,360 --> 00:56:57,800
Speaker 1: that can be profoundly life changing, and so many people

1009
00:56:58,120 --> 00:57:01,479
Speaker 1: are so scared of so many different things, and whether

1010
00:57:01,600 --> 00:57:03,879
Speaker 1: or not that's spiders, or whether or not it's having

1011
00:57:03,880 --> 00:57:07,719
Speaker 1: a hard conversation, or whether or not it's heights, or

1012
00:57:07,760 --> 00:57:12,239
Speaker 1: whether it's not it's going for a job interview, or

1013
00:57:12,640 --> 00:57:17,240
Speaker 1: trying to learn to swim at fifty or to understand technology,

1014
00:57:17,360 --> 00:57:20,880
Speaker 1: you know, whatever it is, like, it's only relevant to us.

1015
00:57:20,920 --> 00:57:23,200
Speaker 1: But it's in the doing, in the middle of the

1016
00:57:23,280 --> 00:57:26,680
Speaker 1: fear that again, that we become who we want to become,

1017
00:57:26,960 --> 00:57:32,400
Speaker 1: or a better version. Hit the pause button, Hit the

1018
00:57:32,440 --> 00:57:37,640
Speaker 1: pause button. I feel like, to me, life for many

1019
00:57:37,680 --> 00:57:41,160
Speaker 1: people is I've spoken about this, but a groundhog day

1020
00:57:41,320 --> 00:57:46,200
Speaker 1: of repetition and doing the things that don't work, and

1021
00:57:47,200 --> 00:57:51,320
Speaker 1: life and relationships and career and you know, all of

1022
00:57:51,360 --> 00:57:55,600
Speaker 1: these it has its own energy. It's like I've used

1023
00:57:55,600 --> 00:57:58,680
Speaker 1: this metaphor before, but it's my favorite, so I'm going

1024
00:57:58,760 --> 00:58:00,480
Speaker 1: to use it again. And it's like, you're life is

1025
00:58:00,560 --> 00:58:03,120
Speaker 1: like a river and it's got its own energy, it's

1026
00:58:03,120 --> 00:58:05,440
Speaker 1: got its own current, it's flowing in a certain direction.

1027
00:58:05,640 --> 00:58:09,919
Speaker 1: It's powerful. And in this metaphor, we're in the river.

1028
00:58:10,600 --> 00:58:13,680
Speaker 1: You're in your life. You're in the river and the

1029
00:58:13,960 --> 00:58:17,960
Speaker 1: energy and the momentum of that river or that life

1030
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:21,680
Speaker 1: will take you in the direction that it's currently headed.

1031
00:58:22,240 --> 00:58:26,240
Speaker 1: If you don't find a way to hit the pause button,

1032
00:58:26,480 --> 00:58:31,000
Speaker 1: if you don't find a way to extract yourself, either

1033
00:58:31,080 --> 00:58:35,120
Speaker 1: theoretically or practically for a while. It might be an hour,

1034
00:58:35,240 --> 00:58:37,080
Speaker 1: it might be a week, where you get away from

1035
00:58:37,080 --> 00:58:39,600
Speaker 1: your life and your job, and your environment and your

1036
00:58:39,640 --> 00:58:44,160
Speaker 1: situation and certain relationships, where you just go somewhere so

1037
00:58:44,240 --> 00:58:45,920
Speaker 1: you can go, all right, what do I want the

1038
00:58:45,960 --> 00:58:47,880
Speaker 1: next year or two or five to look like? And

1039
00:58:47,920 --> 00:58:51,800
Speaker 1: I think you know, being able to metaphorically swim to

1040
00:58:51,880 --> 00:58:55,600
Speaker 1: the side of the river to get out of the river.

1041
00:58:55,680 --> 00:58:58,320
Speaker 1: Now we can see the river, we can see what's happening.

1042
00:58:58,800 --> 00:59:00,880
Speaker 1: When we're on the side of the river. We have

1043
00:59:00,960 --> 00:59:04,760
Speaker 1: a perspective and an awareness and an understanding that no

1044
00:59:04,800 --> 00:59:07,600
Speaker 1: one can get in the river. And this is why

1045
00:59:07,880 --> 00:59:10,760
Speaker 1: being in the river twenty four to seven, three hundred

1046
00:59:10,800 --> 00:59:13,560
Speaker 1: and sixty five days of the year is a sure

1047
00:59:13,600 --> 00:59:15,520
Speaker 1: way to end up in a place you don't want

1048
00:59:15,560 --> 00:59:20,280
Speaker 1: to be. Because now you are a passenger in the river.

1049
00:59:21,560 --> 00:59:24,800
Speaker 1: You're not driving the boat. You know, you're not driving

1050
00:59:24,800 --> 00:59:26,960
Speaker 1: the metaphoric bus. You're not the bus driving now you're

1051
00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:29,720
Speaker 1: the passenger on the bus, and then this one. You know,

1052
00:59:29,760 --> 00:59:31,760
Speaker 1: you're the stick in the river. You're the leaf on

1053
00:59:31,840 --> 00:59:34,280
Speaker 1: the top of the river getting taken wherever the river

1054
00:59:34,320 --> 00:59:36,520
Speaker 1: wants to tell you take you. And I think that,

1055
00:59:38,400 --> 00:59:42,000
Speaker 1: you know, hitting the pause button to me is analogous

1056
00:59:42,040 --> 00:59:45,520
Speaker 1: to doing a stock taken. All right, where am I? Now?

1057
00:59:45,520 --> 00:59:48,040
Speaker 1: What am I doing? What's my life telling me? What's

1058
00:59:48,080 --> 00:59:50,840
Speaker 1: my body telling me? What's my bank account, what's my career,

1059
00:59:50,960 --> 00:59:58,560
Speaker 1: what's my relationships, what's my spiritual life, what's my mental health? Like,

1060
00:59:58,640 --> 01:00:01,160
Speaker 1: what's everything telling me? What we're doing is we're trying

1061
01:00:01,160 --> 01:00:03,880
Speaker 1: to get a little bit of distance from the the

1062
01:00:03,920 --> 01:00:10,520
Speaker 1: repetition of the foreverness and the continuity of us and

1063
01:00:10,600 --> 01:00:13,600
Speaker 1: our life. And it's like so many people have said

1064
01:00:13,640 --> 01:00:17,000
Speaker 1: to me, and I'm sure you tif I get so

1065
01:00:17,160 --> 01:00:20,960
Speaker 1: much clarity when i'm away, like on holidays. I'm not

1066
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:23,800
Speaker 1: in my house, I'm not around my friends, I'm not

1067
01:00:23,960 --> 01:00:26,320
Speaker 1: doing my job, but I'm away. And it's like you

1068
01:00:26,400 --> 01:00:31,080
Speaker 1: when you were in the Humalayas, You're the same person.

1069
01:00:31,680 --> 01:00:33,160
Speaker 1: You still got to sleep, you still got to you

1070
01:00:33,240 --> 01:00:35,200
Speaker 1: still got to pooh, you still got to do all

1071
01:00:35,200 --> 01:00:37,240
Speaker 1: the things that you've got to do. You're still gotta

1072
01:00:37,280 --> 01:00:40,560
Speaker 1: You're still a human, but you're just a human in

1073
01:00:40,640 --> 01:00:44,800
Speaker 1: another context. And when you're in a different context or

1074
01:00:44,800 --> 01:00:49,920
Speaker 1: a different situation or a different geographical location, you are

1075
01:00:49,960 --> 01:00:53,760
Speaker 1: the same, but you're not the same. Like I bet

1076
01:00:53,800 --> 01:00:59,760
Speaker 1: you literally felt different over there. Yeah, you're like, I'm

1077
01:00:59,840 --> 01:01:05,200
Speaker 1: like different, what is that about? And that's because consciously

1078
01:01:05,320 --> 01:01:08,640
Speaker 1: or not, the breaks will put on your Australian life,

1079
01:01:09,160 --> 01:01:12,600
Speaker 1: like everything's you know, the environment, the people, the repetition,

1080
01:01:12,760 --> 01:01:16,240
Speaker 1: the continuity, the groundhog Danus, Well that's all put on hold.

1081
01:01:16,280 --> 01:01:18,920
Speaker 1: Now you're in another part of the world with different people,

1082
01:01:19,280 --> 01:01:22,480
Speaker 1: in a different environment, in nature, having different its. Oh fuck,

1083
01:01:22,560 --> 01:01:25,200
Speaker 1: you can see things now because you're not in the river.

1084
01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:29,000
Speaker 1: You're not in the river. You weigh up the mountain

1085
01:01:29,560 --> 01:01:31,480
Speaker 1: above the river and you're going, oh fuck, I'm not

1086
01:01:31,520 --> 01:01:33,080
Speaker 1: sure I want to be in that river, or I'm

1087
01:01:33,080 --> 01:01:34,800
Speaker 1: not sure I want to be going in the direction

1088
01:01:34,920 --> 01:01:37,960
Speaker 1: that that river's currently taken me. Maybe I need a paddle,

1089
01:01:38,680 --> 01:01:40,760
Speaker 1: or maybe I never need to walk over to that

1090
01:01:40,880 --> 01:01:43,400
Speaker 1: other river, or maybe I need to just stay the

1091
01:01:43,440 --> 01:01:45,000
Speaker 1: fuck out of the river for a day or a

1092
01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:47,160
Speaker 1: week or a month to get clarity. I don't want

1093
01:01:47,160 --> 01:01:49,800
Speaker 1: to jump back into the thing that isn't really working.

1094
01:01:50,320 --> 01:01:53,439
Speaker 1: Oh but all I know is the river. Yeah, the river.

1095
01:01:54,000 --> 01:01:56,320
Speaker 1: I'm always in the river. I'm familiar with the river.

1096
01:01:56,400 --> 01:01:59,320
Speaker 1: I'm comfortable with the river. There's a level of certainty

1097
01:01:59,320 --> 01:02:01,240
Speaker 1: about the river. So I'm getting back in the river.

1098
01:02:01,360 --> 01:02:04,600
Speaker 1: Fuck the river. Maybe the river's not where you should be.

1099
01:02:04,760 --> 01:02:06,800
Speaker 1: Maybe it's the mountain you should be, or maybe it's

1100
01:02:06,840 --> 01:02:09,240
Speaker 1: a different river. Well, maybe you need to be in

1101
01:02:09,280 --> 01:02:12,280
Speaker 1: the same river but with a different focus, you know.

1102
01:02:12,320 --> 01:02:16,480
Speaker 1: And I think for me, like hitting the pause button

1103
01:02:16,640 --> 01:02:22,160
Speaker 1: on your life metaphorically and in some ways practically it's

1104
01:02:22,200 --> 01:02:26,480
Speaker 1: a gift, like, yeah, I won't bore everyone with my stories,

1105
01:02:26,480 --> 01:02:28,640
Speaker 1: but numerous times I've taken.

1106
01:02:28,880 --> 01:02:31,600
Speaker 2: How often do you hit pause? And how does that

1107
01:02:31,680 --> 01:02:32,280
Speaker 2: look for you?

1108
01:02:36,480 --> 01:02:39,440
Speaker 1: Because I spend most of my life alone, Like I

1109
01:02:39,480 --> 01:02:42,160
Speaker 1: don't you know, I live by myself and I probably

1110
01:02:42,160 --> 01:02:45,680
Speaker 1: only am talking to people four hours a day if that,

1111
01:02:46,600 --> 01:02:48,880
Speaker 1: so I'm by myself twenty hours a day, so I

1112
01:02:48,920 --> 01:02:52,200
Speaker 1: do get a lot of time for reflection and and.

1113
01:02:52,360 --> 01:02:55,280
Speaker 2: But that's still in your own environment, that is that is.

1114
01:02:55,240 --> 01:02:58,040
Speaker 1: And yeah, that is a really good point. I think

1115
01:02:58,240 --> 01:03:02,800
Speaker 1: right now, if I'm being brave and honest. I've probably

1116
01:03:02,800 --> 01:03:07,640
Speaker 1: lost a little bit of that because of the demands

1117
01:03:07,760 --> 01:03:10,600
Speaker 1: of what I'm currently in the middle of with my UNI.

1118
01:03:10,720 --> 01:03:13,240
Speaker 1: It's like very I can't just say, hey fuck, I'm

1119
01:03:13,240 --> 01:03:15,880
Speaker 1: not doing it for a month. But I'm very much

1120
01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:20,240
Speaker 1: excited about life beyond. Like I'm very much excited about

1121
01:03:20,280 --> 01:03:25,800
Speaker 1: life next year. Yeah. It's like I don't even take holidays,

1122
01:03:26,280 --> 01:03:29,520
Speaker 1: you know, but fortunately with my work, like I do travel,

1123
01:03:29,520 --> 01:03:31,439
Speaker 1: I do stay in nice places and I do get

1124
01:03:31,480 --> 01:03:35,160
Speaker 1: to be in other bits of Australia and periodically the world.

1125
01:03:35,200 --> 01:03:42,800
Speaker 1: But I think I am due for a stock take myself. Yeah,

1126
01:03:43,200 --> 01:03:44,960
Speaker 1: but I think it's important that we all do it.

1127
01:03:45,880 --> 01:03:50,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, Set anti girls, that's the next one, Set anti goals.

1128
01:03:50,960 --> 01:03:55,480
Speaker 1: Yeah. So I've spoken about these, maybe I don't know,

1129
01:03:55,560 --> 01:03:58,439
Speaker 1: fifteen times in eight years. What's that twice a year?

1130
01:03:58,840 --> 01:04:00,560
Speaker 1: So for me, an anti gool is the thing that

1131
01:04:00,600 --> 01:04:04,520
Speaker 1: you don't want. It's what don't you want in your life. Well,

1132
01:04:04,640 --> 01:04:07,360
Speaker 1: I don't want to work in an office. Oh, I

1133
01:04:07,440 --> 01:04:12,479
Speaker 1: don't want to be in an unhealthy relationship. I don't

1134
01:04:12,480 --> 01:04:15,440
Speaker 1: want to have habits that are self destructive. I don't

1135
01:04:16,320 --> 01:04:20,400
Speaker 1: I you know, it's trying to get clear about Sometimes

1136
01:04:20,720 --> 01:04:24,560
Speaker 1: in order to find clarity about what we really truly want,

1137
01:04:25,600 --> 01:04:28,680
Speaker 1: we need to first sometimes get clear about what we

1138
01:04:28,800 --> 01:04:32,160
Speaker 1: don't want. And so an example of that was, or

1139
01:04:32,200 --> 01:04:34,680
Speaker 1: an example of that is, you know, me figuring out

1140
01:04:34,720 --> 01:04:36,880
Speaker 1: when I was young that I didn't want a boss

1141
01:04:36,920 --> 01:04:39,680
Speaker 1: per se. But I didn't know what the alternative would

1142
01:04:39,720 --> 01:04:43,400
Speaker 1: look like. I just know, I just knew that what

1143
01:04:43,520 --> 01:04:45,919
Speaker 1: I don't want is I don't want a nine to five.

1144
01:04:47,280 --> 01:04:49,880
Speaker 1: I didn't for one moment think they were bad. I

1145
01:04:50,000 --> 01:04:52,080
Speaker 1: just didn't think that was for me, and it's not

1146
01:04:52,160 --> 01:04:55,400
Speaker 1: for me. And so I figured out, all right, I

1147
01:04:55,440 --> 01:04:56,800
Speaker 1: don't want to wear a suit. I don't want to

1148
01:04:56,800 --> 01:04:59,440
Speaker 1: sit at a desk with l fucking you know, fluo

1149
01:04:59,520 --> 01:05:04,160
Speaker 1: lights buzzing over my head. I don't want to I

1150
01:05:04,160 --> 01:05:06,120
Speaker 1: don't want to clock in and clock out, And I

1151
01:05:06,200 --> 01:05:09,320
Speaker 1: don't want to do basically a form of the same

1152
01:05:09,440 --> 01:05:12,880
Speaker 1: or similar thing every day. No disrespect to anyone who

1153
01:05:12,920 --> 01:05:15,160
Speaker 1: has a job that looks like that, that's just not me.

1154
01:05:16,080 --> 01:05:19,400
Speaker 1: But I didn't know for a long time exactly what

1155
01:05:20,240 --> 01:05:23,000
Speaker 1: the thing was that I did want because I didn't

1156
01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:27,080
Speaker 1: have I had no experience, as in, you know, building

1157
01:05:27,080 --> 01:05:31,360
Speaker 1: something or developing something, or being an entrepreneur or conceptualizing

1158
01:05:31,840 --> 01:05:35,000
Speaker 1: something and then turning that theoretical thing in my head

1159
01:05:35,000 --> 01:05:39,440
Speaker 1: into a real world in a real thing in the world.

1160
01:05:39,760 --> 01:05:44,480
Speaker 1: But you know, I think that I think that that

1161
01:05:44,640 --> 01:05:47,720
Speaker 1: just helps with the goal setting process sometimes because so

1162
01:05:47,760 --> 01:05:49,600
Speaker 1: many people have said to me when I say, well,

1163
01:05:50,760 --> 01:05:52,920
Speaker 1: you know what, what's your ideal job, and they go,

1164
01:05:53,000 --> 01:05:56,560
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I'd like to be somewhere where

1165
01:05:56,600 --> 01:05:58,440
Speaker 1: they're not. And I go, well, let's let's figure out

1166
01:05:58,480 --> 01:06:03,280
Speaker 1: what your ideal job is, you know. Or it's like,

1167
01:06:04,040 --> 01:06:07,240
Speaker 1: you know, what would you love to do with your life?

1168
01:06:07,880 --> 01:06:11,160
Speaker 1: I'm not sure? All right, Well, let's talk about the

1169
01:06:11,200 --> 01:06:14,640
Speaker 1: stuff that you're doing now that might be working or

1170
01:06:14,720 --> 01:06:17,880
Speaker 1: might not be working. Let's do it as we said before,

1171
01:06:17,920 --> 01:06:20,960
Speaker 1: Let's do a stock take or a treasure hunt or

1172
01:06:20,960 --> 01:06:24,120
Speaker 1: whatever we want to call it on your current operating system.

1173
01:06:24,200 --> 01:06:26,720
Speaker 1: And let's like if we think about you think the

1174
01:06:26,760 --> 01:06:30,080
Speaker 1: way tif that if we have a business, we have

1175
01:06:30,080 --> 01:06:34,200
Speaker 1: a business development plan. If we have money and we

1176
01:06:34,240 --> 01:06:37,960
Speaker 1: want to build wealth, we have a financial plan. You know.

1177
01:06:38,120 --> 01:06:40,880
Speaker 1: If we have a car, we get it serviced regularly

1178
01:06:40,920 --> 01:06:44,280
Speaker 1: and we look after it. And basically for everything we

1179
01:06:44,440 --> 01:06:51,640
Speaker 1: have strategies, plans to do, lists, accountability, but so many

1180
01:06:51,760 --> 01:06:57,480
Speaker 1: people do not really have an actual plan, strategy, process,

1181
01:06:57,880 --> 01:07:03,760
Speaker 1: accountability system for their life. And so when we start

1182
01:07:03,800 --> 01:07:12,760
Speaker 1: to live proactively and intentionally rather than reactively and unintentionally,

1183
01:07:14,120 --> 01:07:16,880
Speaker 1: then we can start to build a life based on

1184
01:07:17,080 --> 01:07:19,800
Speaker 1: the things that matter to us. So we don't wake

1185
01:07:19,880 --> 01:07:21,640
Speaker 1: up at fifty and go, how the fuck did I

1186
01:07:21,720 --> 01:07:25,480
Speaker 1: end up here? Well, at the risk of hurting your feelings,

1187
01:07:25,520 --> 01:07:28,640
Speaker 1: you ended up there primarily because of your choices and actions,

1188
01:07:29,000 --> 01:07:32,720
Speaker 1: Like that's the answer. That's the answer. Which is not

1189
01:07:32,760 --> 01:07:34,320
Speaker 1: to say you didn't have a hard time or you

1190
01:07:34,360 --> 01:07:37,640
Speaker 1: didn't have real challenges, not to say that, but even

1191
01:07:37,680 --> 01:07:40,800
Speaker 1: someone like Johnny, who you know and love, who's got

1192
01:07:40,840 --> 01:07:43,840
Speaker 1: so many challenges, but just in the middle of all

1193
01:07:43,840 --> 01:07:46,360
Speaker 1: of the shit that he can't control, which is a

1194
01:07:46,400 --> 01:07:51,000
Speaker 1: lot of things, spinal cord injury, brain injury, severe pain,

1195
01:07:51,720 --> 01:07:55,960
Speaker 1: very restricted mobility, you know, a whole lot of things

1196
01:07:55,960 --> 01:07:58,720
Speaker 1: that he can't change. So what he does is he goes, well,

1197
01:07:58,720 --> 01:08:02,600
Speaker 1: what can I do? And he controls that. He comes

1198
01:08:02,600 --> 01:08:05,000
Speaker 1: to the gym. Sometimes he's in so much pain he's

1199
01:08:05,000 --> 01:08:08,760
Speaker 1: got to go home again. Sometimes he's okay. Sometimes his

1200
01:08:08,880 --> 01:08:11,800
Speaker 1: legs start spasming and shaking so bad that I need

1201
01:08:11,840 --> 01:08:14,280
Speaker 1: to sit him down or almost lie him down, just

1202
01:08:14,360 --> 01:08:18,479
Speaker 1: to stop that that thing that's going on in his body.

1203
01:08:18,600 --> 01:08:21,400
Speaker 1: You know. Sometimes he's happy, sometimes he's a bit sad.

1204
01:08:21,479 --> 01:08:25,000
Speaker 1: Sometimes he's emotional because he's got a TBI, you know,

1205
01:08:25,320 --> 01:08:28,680
Speaker 1: but we just love him, you know. So there's despite

1206
01:08:28,800 --> 01:08:34,320
Speaker 1: the despite the difficulty, like and this is the thing.

1207
01:08:34,360 --> 01:08:38,240
Speaker 1: It's of course, it's fucking hard. Of course, of course

1208
01:08:38,800 --> 01:08:42,400
Speaker 1: we get it. But if we don't control our life,

1209
01:08:42,479 --> 01:08:47,200
Speaker 1: our life will be controlled either by others or by environment,

1210
01:08:47,280 --> 01:08:52,840
Speaker 1: and the situation steps down off soapbox number eight.

1211
01:08:53,320 --> 01:08:55,360
Speaker 2: Loosen the grip on your identity.

1212
01:08:56,120 --> 01:08:59,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think identity is a really interesting one because

1213
01:09:00,479 --> 01:09:03,160
Speaker 1: we all see ourselves a certain way, and we all

1214
01:09:04,760 --> 01:09:07,799
Speaker 1: and that's not always good, of course, sometimes that's very negative.

1215
01:09:08,640 --> 01:09:11,120
Speaker 1: But we also want to present ourselves a certain way

1216
01:09:11,280 --> 01:09:14,120
Speaker 1: to the world because we all want love and attention

1217
01:09:14,200 --> 01:09:17,080
Speaker 1: and approval, and some of us don't want attention, to

1218
01:09:17,120 --> 01:09:21,720
Speaker 1: be honest, but we have an identity, and that identity

1219
01:09:21,800 --> 01:09:23,519
Speaker 1: might be the way that we live, or it might

1220
01:09:23,560 --> 01:09:26,240
Speaker 1: be our religion or our spiritual beliefs, or it might

1221
01:09:26,280 --> 01:09:30,960
Speaker 1: be our job, or it might be our academic achievements.

1222
01:09:31,479 --> 01:09:34,439
Speaker 1: But the problem, as I see it, with having a

1223
01:09:34,479 --> 01:09:41,400
Speaker 1: fixed identity is that it can be almost like a

1224
01:09:41,479 --> 01:09:46,200
Speaker 1: self created prison, you know, in that like you are

1225
01:09:46,280 --> 01:09:52,880
Speaker 1: not an identity. Just like this sound dumb, right, Like,

1226
01:09:53,200 --> 01:09:56,599
Speaker 1: just like an ad for a car is not the car,

1227
01:09:57,280 --> 01:09:59,760
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? It's the ad. It's

1228
01:09:59,800 --> 01:10:02,559
Speaker 1: the that it's presented. Oh, look at its shiny wheels,

1229
01:10:02,600 --> 01:10:05,519
Speaker 1: look at the beautiful photographs, look at the features, But

1230
01:10:05,680 --> 01:10:09,439
Speaker 1: all of that is an ad for the car. It's

1231
01:10:09,520 --> 01:10:12,320
Speaker 1: not the car, right. I don't want to see the

1232
01:10:12,360 --> 01:10:16,880
Speaker 1: Tiff ad. I don't want to see the persona, you know.

1233
01:10:17,000 --> 01:10:19,920
Speaker 1: I don't want to see your brand or your identity.

1234
01:10:20,280 --> 01:10:24,040
Speaker 1: Or I don't want to see this the Tiff show real.

1235
01:10:24,520 --> 01:10:26,400
Speaker 1: I want to know Tiff, not the fucking show real,

1236
01:10:27,400 --> 01:10:30,800
Speaker 1: you know. And I think that this is really pervasive

1237
01:10:30,840 --> 01:10:34,720
Speaker 1: across a lot of kind of spaces, and you think

1238
01:10:34,720 --> 01:10:37,280
Speaker 1: about even and we've joked about this before, the amount

1239
01:10:37,280 --> 01:10:40,559
Speaker 1: of I've never been on a dating website. I don't

1240
01:10:40,560 --> 01:10:42,759
Speaker 1: know if you have, doesn't matter, but where we talk about,

1241
01:10:43,120 --> 01:10:44,840
Speaker 1: you know, the way that people put up the best

1242
01:10:44,840 --> 01:10:47,880
Speaker 1: photo that was ever taken of them and at thirteen

1243
01:10:47,960 --> 01:10:53,519
Speaker 1: years old, and in that one photo they look as

1244
01:10:53,560 --> 01:10:57,400
Speaker 1: close to fucking amazing as possible for them, no disrespect.

1245
01:10:58,760 --> 01:11:02,160
Speaker 1: And then the person ticks whatever based on what they

1246
01:11:02,200 --> 01:11:04,760
Speaker 1: see on the thing. And then they turn up and

1247
01:11:04,840 --> 01:11:08,479
Speaker 1: our mate doesn't look anything like his photo, but he

1248
01:11:08,520 --> 01:11:11,120
Speaker 1: puts that photo up there because he's trying to create

1249
01:11:11,160 --> 01:11:15,080
Speaker 1: an identity. Oh this is me, Look what I look like.

1250
01:11:15,880 --> 01:11:18,400
Speaker 1: Oh you don't look like that, and that's okay. It

1251
01:11:18,400 --> 01:11:21,840
Speaker 1: doesn't matter what you look like. You know, he is

1252
01:11:21,880 --> 01:11:24,120
Speaker 1: an idea. Put up a shit photo, and then they

1253
01:11:24,200 --> 01:11:26,640
Speaker 1: might be pleasantly surprised when they turn up, not the

1254
01:11:26,720 --> 01:11:30,919
Speaker 1: other way around. You know, it's a hard thing to unpack.

1255
01:11:31,040 --> 01:11:33,519
Speaker 1: But and then I feel like when a certain thing

1256
01:11:33,600 --> 01:11:38,200
Speaker 1: is our identity, we make ourselves a bit unteachable unless

1257
01:11:38,760 --> 01:11:42,839
Speaker 1: that thing, that theology, that idea, that belief, that value,

1258
01:11:43,479 --> 01:11:48,320
Speaker 1: if that's intertwined with my identity and your belief, value, idea,

1259
01:11:48,439 --> 01:11:52,559
Speaker 1: theology is not the same as mine, and you're critical

1260
01:11:52,600 --> 01:11:55,599
Speaker 1: of my whatever, then you're critical of me. And that's

1261
01:11:55,640 --> 01:11:59,200
Speaker 1: a I think we need to hold onto our beliefs

1262
01:11:59,280 --> 01:12:03,639
Speaker 1: and ideas an identity. Loosely, do you think.

1263
01:12:03,479 --> 01:12:08,640
Speaker 2: That social media now and the ability people have to

1264
01:12:08,760 --> 01:12:12,360
Speaker 2: control the narrative around what they present to the world.

1265
01:12:12,479 --> 01:12:17,520
Speaker 2: At mass is messing with people's relationship with themselves.

1266
01:12:18,280 --> 01:12:24,000
Speaker 1: Oh fucking fuck yss. I mean the whole idea that

1267
01:12:24,040 --> 01:12:28,920
Speaker 1: people have a personal brand. I'm like, well, how about

1268
01:12:28,960 --> 01:12:31,720
Speaker 1: you have a person, Like, what do you mean you

1269
01:12:31,760 --> 01:12:34,120
Speaker 1: have a brand? I get it. I get it. Look,

1270
01:12:34,720 --> 01:12:39,360
Speaker 1: I get it. I practically and intellectually get it. I

1271
01:12:39,400 --> 01:12:42,400
Speaker 1: get the people. You know. It's like me, if if

1272
01:12:42,439 --> 01:12:45,479
Speaker 1: somebody books me for a speaking event and they ring Melissa,

1273
01:12:45,520 --> 01:12:48,000
Speaker 1: and Melissa says, yeah, it's going to be seventy five dollars,

1274
01:12:48,240 --> 01:12:51,799
Speaker 1: They're going to go, what because I have a brand

1275
01:12:51,920 --> 01:12:53,960
Speaker 1: as a speaker or I'm known as that, and so

1276
01:12:54,000 --> 01:12:58,160
Speaker 1: there's you know, but I think when you are, part

1277
01:12:58,200 --> 01:13:03,200
Speaker 1: of your mission is to create this identity that isn't

1278
01:13:03,240 --> 01:13:07,680
Speaker 1: really you. It's like it's it's literally like you marketing

1279
01:13:07,720 --> 01:13:12,840
Speaker 1: you to make yourself more attractive, more desirable. While I

1280
01:13:13,040 --> 01:13:15,479
Speaker 1: intellectually get it, and I get it from a marketing

1281
01:13:15,520 --> 01:13:18,120
Speaker 1: and branding point of view, I really get it. I'm like,

1282
01:13:18,320 --> 01:13:23,760
Speaker 1: of course, you know, if you're you know, we don't

1283
01:13:23,840 --> 01:13:25,400
Speaker 1: like saying this, but I'm going to say it right

1284
01:13:26,120 --> 01:13:28,599
Speaker 1: in our world. Look, at social media. If you're a

1285
01:13:28,640 --> 01:13:32,400
Speaker 1: really really attractive guy or girl, you know, lady or man,

1286
01:13:32,880 --> 01:13:36,000
Speaker 1: you've got an advantage. Now should it be that way,

1287
01:13:36,280 --> 01:13:39,160
Speaker 1: I don't know, but it is that way. You know,

1288
01:13:39,280 --> 01:13:43,360
Speaker 1: if I'm thirty, I'm treated differently to when I'm sixty.

1289
01:13:43,439 --> 01:13:46,840
Speaker 1: There's no self pity in that. It's just it's just true.

1290
01:13:47,040 --> 01:13:50,800
Speaker 1: So I don't think that will ever go away. But

1291
01:13:50,920 --> 01:13:53,640
Speaker 1: I just think that, you know, one, if you're going

1292
01:13:53,680 --> 01:13:56,519
Speaker 1: to build a brand, an identity, and a social media presence,

1293
01:13:56,600 --> 01:13:59,920
Speaker 1: I don't actually think that's a bad thing as low

1294
01:14:00,120 --> 01:14:02,120
Speaker 1: as you know, you in the middle of all of

1295
01:14:02,120 --> 01:14:04,840
Speaker 1: that ship that you are not you know, where are

1296
01:14:04,920 --> 01:14:07,679
Speaker 1: you in the middle of that? Because that's just that's

1297
01:14:07,720 --> 01:14:11,559
Speaker 1: the U show. And sure have a U show, but

1298
01:14:11,640 --> 01:14:13,599
Speaker 1: don't confuse the show with a person.

1299
01:14:15,160 --> 01:14:19,639
Speaker 2: M Yeah. I was just thinking also, like the ability

1300
01:14:19,680 --> 01:14:22,080
Speaker 2: for people to stand out means they have to be different,

1301
01:14:22,520 --> 01:14:25,880
Speaker 2: and I wonder how many times that takes people away

1302
01:14:25,960 --> 01:14:28,600
Speaker 2: from that what is true to them and what is

1303
01:14:28,680 --> 01:14:32,640
Speaker 2: meaningful and down to a place that they're pitching what

1304
01:14:32,800 --> 01:14:35,719
Speaker 2: is clever and what is gets attention.

1305
01:14:36,479 --> 01:14:38,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, and when I say.

1306
01:14:37,920 --> 01:14:40,240
Speaker 2: Come close to stuff like you and I share and

1307
01:14:40,280 --> 01:14:42,960
Speaker 2: talk about then you start. Then you're actually you're you're

1308
01:14:43,040 --> 01:14:46,400
Speaker 2: leading people, and you're leading them to places that maybe,

1309
01:14:46,640 --> 01:14:49,960
Speaker 2: you know, maybe previous you would never have wanted to

1310
01:14:50,560 --> 01:14:53,439
Speaker 2: do that, but the brand dictate the new path.

1311
01:14:54,040 --> 01:14:56,920
Speaker 1: I constantly have to keep myself in check because I'm

1312
01:14:57,240 --> 01:15:00,880
Speaker 1: I'm like everyone like I If I put up something on

1313
01:15:01,080 --> 01:15:03,240
Speaker 1: social media that I think is good and it doesn't

1314
01:15:03,280 --> 01:15:07,160
Speaker 1: get the response that I think it probably will based

1315
01:15:07,200 --> 01:15:11,360
Speaker 1: on my previous experience, like what the fuck's wrong with you? People?

1316
01:15:12,000 --> 01:15:15,920
Speaker 1: You know? Like have you not read this? You know?

1317
01:15:16,720 --> 01:15:19,680
Speaker 1: Of course I don't really say that, but I get

1318
01:15:19,720 --> 01:15:21,439
Speaker 1: disappointed or I get a bit I'm like, oh, I

1319
01:15:21,479 --> 01:15:24,439
Speaker 1: need to figure this out. Why is this should get

1320
01:15:24,840 --> 01:15:26,840
Speaker 1: this many shares? It shouldn't get that many shares? And

1321
01:15:26,840 --> 01:15:28,479
Speaker 1: what's going on? You know? And then I'm like, what

1322
01:15:28,640 --> 01:15:32,799
Speaker 1: is wrong with you? I'm literally changing my emotional status,

1323
01:15:32,920 --> 01:15:37,559
Speaker 1: changing because of an expectation that I had of what

1324
01:15:37,720 --> 01:15:41,960
Speaker 1: other people should do to something that I wrote. So

1325
01:15:42,200 --> 01:15:46,920
Speaker 1: I am literally making myself sad or anxious right because

1326
01:15:47,040 --> 01:15:53,000
Speaker 1: I am anticipating what should happen or what's likely to

1327
01:15:53,080 --> 01:15:55,799
Speaker 1: happen off the back of a thing that I wrote

1328
01:15:55,880 --> 01:15:58,439
Speaker 1: or said or did, and then when I have an

1329
01:15:58,439 --> 01:16:03,439
Speaker 1: expectation and people don't eat that, I get disappointed. But

1330
01:16:03,479 --> 01:16:07,360
Speaker 1: that's based on my expected result, not the result. You know,

1331
01:16:07,439 --> 01:16:11,559
Speaker 1: It's like expecting people to be amazing this time when

1332
01:16:11,600 --> 01:16:13,599
Speaker 1: they are a prick to you the last hundred times. Well,

1333
01:16:13,600 --> 01:16:15,920
Speaker 1: if someone was a prick to you, or they've been

1334
01:16:15,920 --> 01:16:18,280
Speaker 1: a prick to you pretty consistently, or they've been a

1335
01:16:19,479 --> 01:16:21,760
Speaker 1: you know, not nice to you, let you down, hurt you,

1336
01:16:22,160 --> 01:16:27,120
Speaker 1: lied to you, mistreated you, why would you expect them

1337
01:16:27,479 --> 01:16:30,920
Speaker 1: to be different. Now I'm not saying be negative. I'm saying, look,

1338
01:16:31,400 --> 01:16:34,200
Speaker 1: hope they might be different, you know, still be the

1339
01:16:34,200 --> 01:16:37,400
Speaker 1: good person, but don't be a fucking dormat. Like your

1340
01:16:37,479 --> 01:16:42,440
Speaker 1: job is not to, you know, make everything okay for everybody.

1341
01:16:42,479 --> 01:16:45,520
Speaker 1: It's some stage. Yeah, be loving, be kind, be compassionate,

1342
01:16:45,560 --> 01:16:50,000
Speaker 1: be empathetic, but don't don't don't let people destroy your

1343
01:16:50,080 --> 01:16:54,080
Speaker 1: self esteem or your capacity to be mentally and emotionally healthy.

1344
01:16:54,280 --> 01:16:57,360
Speaker 1: Because I'm a giver, well, eventually you won't be able

1345
01:16:57,400 --> 01:17:00,400
Speaker 1: to give, you know, you need to. It sounds selfish.

1346
01:17:00,439 --> 01:17:01,880
Speaker 1: I don't know how I got here, and this is

1347
01:17:01,920 --> 01:17:05,200
Speaker 1: probably totally off topic, but you know, I think in

1348
01:17:05,280 --> 01:17:09,880
Speaker 1: a I think prioritizing yourself, not in a greedy, selfish way,

1349
01:17:09,880 --> 01:17:15,400
Speaker 1: but in a self preservation way is paramount because if

1350
01:17:15,439 --> 01:17:20,400
Speaker 1: you get out of bed and you're now physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, spiritually,

1351
01:17:20,439 --> 01:17:22,360
Speaker 1: you're an eight or nine out of ten at the

1352
01:17:22,400 --> 01:17:26,640
Speaker 1: start of the day or at ten, then your experiences

1353
01:17:26,680 --> 01:17:28,960
Speaker 1: with other people are better, Your meetings are better, your

1354
01:17:28,960 --> 01:17:32,360
Speaker 1: conflict resolution is better, or you know, you build more

1355
01:17:32,400 --> 01:17:34,599
Speaker 1: rapport and trust and you have more fun and they

1356
01:17:34,800 --> 01:17:37,880
Speaker 1: like you more and you're better. You're just better. But

1357
01:17:37,960 --> 01:17:39,880
Speaker 1: if you get out of bed and you're already a

1358
01:17:39,920 --> 01:17:42,439
Speaker 1: three out of ten before your feet hit the fucking floor,

1359
01:17:43,280 --> 01:17:47,599
Speaker 1: good luck having a good day. Steps down, off soapbox.

1360
01:17:47,680 --> 01:17:51,040
Speaker 1: Let's do two more and then we'll we'll let that

1361
01:17:51,160 --> 01:17:52,719
Speaker 1: other person take over the reins.

1362
01:17:53,600 --> 01:17:55,400
Speaker 2: Focus on the climb, not the mountain.

1363
01:17:57,160 --> 01:17:59,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, probably covered that a bit. I didn't realize some

1364
01:17:59,360 --> 01:18:06,000
Speaker 1: of these I'd overlap. But for me, it is really about, like,

1365
01:18:06,080 --> 01:18:10,000
Speaker 1: even with this podcast, you know, two thousand episodes is great,

1366
01:18:10,960 --> 01:18:14,200
Speaker 1: but honestly, I I was going to say I don't care,

1367
01:18:14,320 --> 01:18:17,040
Speaker 1: I care about it, but I really care about what's

1368
01:18:17,080 --> 01:18:20,479
Speaker 1: happened on the two thousand journey. You know the people

1369
01:18:20,520 --> 01:18:24,479
Speaker 1: that we've helped, and obviously there's lots of people we

1370
01:18:24,520 --> 01:18:29,560
Speaker 1: haven't helped, but the guests that we've spoken with, the

1371
01:18:30,240 --> 01:18:33,360
Speaker 1: numerous blessings that have come our way, the sponsors that

1372
01:18:33,400 --> 01:18:35,960
Speaker 1: we've had, the light bulbs that have gone on, the

1373
01:18:36,040 --> 01:18:40,240
Speaker 1: healing that's happened, you know, the friendships that have been formed.

1374
01:18:41,479 --> 01:18:44,120
Speaker 1: You know, even the typ conferences that we're going to

1375
01:18:44,120 --> 01:18:47,000
Speaker 1: have another one of next year. Everyone, you know, all

1376
01:18:47,040 --> 01:18:49,240
Speaker 1: that stuff. For me, it's just been it's been the

1377
01:18:50,479 --> 01:18:53,880
Speaker 1: one to two thousand that's just been the gift. You know,

1378
01:18:53,960 --> 01:18:57,280
Speaker 1: it's about it is. It is about who you become.

1379
01:18:57,439 --> 01:19:00,519
Speaker 1: And it's a lovely milestone to get to two thousand episodes.

1380
01:19:02,280 --> 01:19:05,559
Speaker 1: But it's like the stuff that we've done really matters

1381
01:19:05,640 --> 01:19:06,640
Speaker 1: to me. The most.

1382
01:19:08,680 --> 01:19:11,320
Speaker 2: Number ten we're finishing on round figure, isn't that? Please?

1383
01:19:11,479 --> 01:19:13,000
Speaker 1: Got nice? Nice?

1384
01:19:13,479 --> 01:19:15,120
Speaker 2: Stop thinking like you.

1385
01:19:15,520 --> 01:19:18,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a bit tongue in cheek. Of course, stop

1386
01:19:18,160 --> 01:19:20,760
Speaker 1: thinking like you. Of course you can't stop thinking like you.

1387
01:19:20,840 --> 01:19:25,200
Speaker 1: But again it's opening the door on, you know, this

1388
01:19:25,360 --> 01:19:28,840
Speaker 1: idea of understanding others and understand not thinking like others,

1389
01:19:28,840 --> 01:19:34,800
Speaker 1: but understanding their thinking right, understanding their thinking, so that

1390
01:19:36,360 --> 01:19:39,120
Speaker 1: all of your interactions with other people who you now

1391
01:19:39,360 --> 01:19:42,320
Speaker 1: understand better, or you have an insight into their mind

1392
01:19:42,400 --> 01:19:48,080
Speaker 1: or an insight into their subjective experience, their subjective reality.

1393
01:19:50,040 --> 01:19:54,000
Speaker 1: Like I don't know you infinitely, but I know you

1394
01:19:54,200 --> 01:19:57,000
Speaker 1: way better than I did seven or eight years ago.

1395
01:19:57,600 --> 01:20:01,760
Speaker 1: And so now I because I have an understanding of

1396
01:20:01,800 --> 01:20:03,880
Speaker 1: how you think and your values and who you are

1397
01:20:04,080 --> 01:20:07,880
Speaker 1: and your emotions and the way that you navigate life,

1398
01:20:08,000 --> 01:20:13,080
Speaker 1: just like you do all of that for me as well.

1399
01:20:13,240 --> 01:20:19,120
Speaker 1: I think I have a much better ability to be

1400
01:20:19,160 --> 01:20:21,080
Speaker 1: able to get to where I want to get in

1401
01:20:21,160 --> 01:20:25,400
Speaker 1: a conversation or an exchange or whatever it is that

1402
01:20:25,400 --> 01:20:28,519
Speaker 1: we're doing, to get there quicker without nobody's feelings hurt

1403
01:20:29,080 --> 01:20:32,679
Speaker 1: and without me being inappropriate or me being me making

1404
01:20:33,400 --> 01:20:37,599
Speaker 1: a false assumption about how you'll interpret this. And I

1405
01:20:37,720 --> 01:20:39,599
Speaker 1: just think that, you know, it's called theory of mind,

1406
01:20:39,600 --> 01:20:43,160
Speaker 1: as everybody now knows, but just that having an awareness

1407
01:20:43,160 --> 01:20:46,719
Speaker 1: and a curiosity in what's happening in someone else's head,

1408
01:20:47,439 --> 01:20:49,559
Speaker 1: not like, oh why the fuck do they do that?

1409
01:20:49,640 --> 01:20:53,040
Speaker 1: You know? Not that like, not not critically, just like

1410
01:20:53,280 --> 01:20:58,040
Speaker 1: from a point of curiosity, it's like I probably shouldn't

1411
01:20:58,040 --> 01:21:01,639
Speaker 1: say this, but she'll never hear it. But like when

1412
01:21:01,680 --> 01:21:04,799
Speaker 1: I'm around my mum, the way that I am around

1413
01:21:04,840 --> 01:21:07,840
Speaker 1: my mum, my energy is very different, The way I

1414
01:21:07,880 --> 01:21:11,639
Speaker 1: talk to her is very different. The way I manage

1415
01:21:12,880 --> 01:21:17,280
Speaker 1: moments with Mum is very different. Because right now, at

1416
01:21:17,280 --> 01:21:21,400
Speaker 1: eighty six, like the world is a bit scary. She's okay,

1417
01:21:21,479 --> 01:21:25,400
Speaker 1: but things that never used to bother her obviously bother

1418
01:21:25,479 --> 01:21:29,360
Speaker 1: her now. And even if there's something even if there's

1419
01:21:29,360 --> 01:21:34,840
Speaker 1: nothing to worry about me, the guru that isn't really going, oh, Mary,

1420
01:21:34,840 --> 01:21:37,280
Speaker 1: there's nothing to worry about, so stop worrying. That's fucking

1421
01:21:37,280 --> 01:21:40,639
Speaker 1: stupid advice, because saying that will not help her. In fact,

1422
01:21:40,720 --> 01:21:43,280
Speaker 1: it might make her more anxious. It might make her

1423
01:21:43,280 --> 01:21:47,000
Speaker 1: feel inadequate around me. It might make her feel silly

1424
01:21:47,080 --> 01:21:50,120
Speaker 1: because I'm pointing out, you know all these things, Well,

1425
01:21:50,160 --> 01:21:54,360
Speaker 1: it's just thoughtless and it's unaware, and it's actually destructive,

1426
01:21:54,439 --> 01:21:57,840
Speaker 1: not productive. So I don't need to fuel the fire

1427
01:21:58,000 --> 01:22:02,920
Speaker 1: of insecurity and anxiety. But I definitely need to understand

1428
01:22:03,160 --> 01:22:06,240
Speaker 1: the insecurity and the anxiety so that I can be

1429
01:22:06,400 --> 01:22:10,760
Speaker 1: what Mum needs, so that I can hopefully as much

1430
01:22:10,800 --> 01:22:14,200
Speaker 1: as in my control, I can create an interaction and

1431
01:22:14,280 --> 01:22:17,720
Speaker 1: a moment in time and an experience with my mum

1432
01:22:17,760 --> 01:22:22,280
Speaker 1: that leaves her hopefully more comfortable, not more anxious. And

1433
01:22:21,960 --> 01:22:25,479
Speaker 1: that's all about understanding the person in front of you,

1434
01:22:26,120 --> 01:22:32,200
Speaker 1: understanding how they think, and not defaulting to, well, this

1435
01:22:32,320 --> 01:22:34,160
Speaker 1: is how I see it, so this is how everyone

1436
01:22:34,200 --> 01:22:36,559
Speaker 1: says it. In fact, that's probably one of the dumbest

1437
01:22:36,560 --> 01:22:40,719
Speaker 1: assumptions in human behavior and probably one of the things

1438
01:22:40,720 --> 01:22:43,439
Speaker 1: that leads to more problems than anything else on an

1439
01:22:43,439 --> 01:22:48,680
Speaker 1: interpersonal level, is just assuming that what you're saying to

1440
01:22:48,760 --> 01:22:53,839
Speaker 1: somebody is going to be understood and comprehended and acted

1441
01:22:53,960 --> 01:22:56,720
Speaker 1: upon the way that you think it will be. In

1442
01:22:56,760 --> 01:23:01,600
Speaker 1: other words, your intention will be their experience. Your understanding

1443
01:23:01,880 --> 01:23:08,439
Speaker 1: is their understanding? Well, that's hysterically untrue, and so when

1444
01:23:08,520 --> 01:23:12,400
Speaker 1: you move forward going they almost definitely don't think like me.

1445
01:23:12,960 --> 01:23:16,800
Speaker 1: That's my starting point. So how do they think, how

1446
01:23:16,800 --> 01:23:18,720
Speaker 1: do I solve this problem, or how do I open

1447
01:23:18,800 --> 01:23:21,519
Speaker 1: the door on this discussion, or how do I be

1448
01:23:21,760 --> 01:23:25,200
Speaker 1: what they need right now? How do I be what

1449
01:23:25,280 --> 01:23:28,120
Speaker 1: they need? You know, and you're going to get that wrong,

1450
01:23:28,200 --> 01:23:31,880
Speaker 1: But just having that awareness and that curiosity around other

1451
01:23:31,960 --> 01:23:38,479
Speaker 1: people's thinking is definitely something that is life changing. If

1452
01:23:39,439 --> 01:23:40,720
Speaker 1: if we can open the door on it.

1453
01:23:41,840 --> 01:23:45,240
Speaker 2: What could people do to exercise that. I feel like

1454
01:23:45,240 --> 01:23:48,439
Speaker 2: there's a big concept for someone who's who's never thought

1455
01:23:48,520 --> 01:23:52,320
Speaker 2: that way and maybe never had those types of interactions

1456
01:23:52,360 --> 01:23:52,880
Speaker 2: with people.

1457
01:23:53,760 --> 01:23:57,479
Speaker 1: Yeah, great, great question. I think that that question that

1458
01:23:57,520 --> 01:23:59,760
Speaker 1: you asked is a question we could almost ask off

1459
01:23:59,800 --> 01:24:02,040
Speaker 1: the everything. Yeah. Cool, So how do we get better

1460
01:24:02,080 --> 01:24:08,800
Speaker 1: at that? Yeah? So there's a couple of things you

1461
01:24:08,880 --> 01:24:13,639
Speaker 1: can ask people, just great open ended questions. Open ended

1462
01:24:13,720 --> 01:24:16,200
Speaker 1: question is not a yes no question. Open ended question

1463
01:24:16,360 --> 01:24:19,520
Speaker 1: is can you tell me where that belief came from?

1464
01:24:19,960 --> 01:24:22,920
Speaker 1: That's an open ended question. So you're now if they're

1465
01:24:22,920 --> 01:24:24,840
Speaker 1: on board, you're now going to get information that you

1466
01:24:24,840 --> 01:24:28,840
Speaker 1: didn't have. Now you've immediately got information and insight that

1467
01:24:28,920 --> 01:24:31,040
Speaker 1: you didn't have, And now if you use that wisely,

1468
01:24:31,080 --> 01:24:34,400
Speaker 1: you've got better understanding. You've got you've got more horsepower

1469
01:24:34,400 --> 01:24:39,040
Speaker 1: in the conversation, and so being able to ask questions

1470
01:24:39,080 --> 01:24:42,400
Speaker 1: that might shed a light on things that are currently

1471
01:24:42,479 --> 01:24:45,320
Speaker 1: in the darkness, you know, to be able to ask

1472
01:24:45,360 --> 01:24:47,920
Speaker 1: people about you know, where did that, where'd that belief

1473
01:24:47,960 --> 01:24:51,280
Speaker 1: come from? That idea? Wow, you said that you know

1474
01:24:51,320 --> 01:24:54,559
Speaker 1: you had a rough childhood. Could you as much as

1475
01:24:54,560 --> 01:24:57,320
Speaker 1: you're comfortable to Could you tell me about that a bit,

1476
01:24:57,800 --> 01:25:00,280
Speaker 1: because what a lot of people do is they go, oh, yeah,

1477
01:25:00,280 --> 01:25:03,320
Speaker 1: I had a rough childhood too, So do you know

1478
01:25:03,400 --> 01:25:05,000
Speaker 1: what I mean? It's like, oh you did this, Yeah

1479
01:25:05,040 --> 01:25:08,920
Speaker 1: I did that too, but time six whereas and have

1480
01:25:09,000 --> 01:25:11,280
Speaker 1: I ever done that? One hundred percent? I've done that,

1481
01:25:12,240 --> 01:25:15,559
Speaker 1: and so you know, just shutting the fuck up. But

1482
01:25:15,680 --> 01:25:19,840
Speaker 1: really truly being present, not like oh I'm a good listener. No,

1483
01:25:20,040 --> 01:25:25,599
Speaker 1: truly be present and truly seek first to understand and

1484
01:25:25,640 --> 01:25:30,760
Speaker 1: then that, you know, just go into that that encounter

1485
01:25:31,640 --> 01:25:34,040
Speaker 1: with that as your priority if that needs to be

1486
01:25:34,120 --> 01:25:36,799
Speaker 1: the priority. Like my priority today is not to resolve

1487
01:25:36,840 --> 01:25:39,799
Speaker 1: this or figure out that or create an incredible plan.

1488
01:25:40,439 --> 01:25:44,080
Speaker 1: My priority with this person today being meeting one perhaps

1489
01:25:44,200 --> 01:25:47,559
Speaker 1: or encounter one or whatever, is just try to understand

1490
01:25:47,600 --> 01:25:50,840
Speaker 1: who they are, you know. And I'll say that like

1491
01:25:51,400 --> 01:25:53,160
Speaker 1: if I meet brand new people and they're coming to

1492
01:25:53,200 --> 01:25:56,559
Speaker 1: see me, go tell me about you, and they're like,

1493
01:25:56,600 --> 01:25:58,240
Speaker 1: what do you want to know? Whatever you want? Tell

1494
01:25:58,280 --> 01:26:01,960
Speaker 1: me ready, set go, and then they just talk and

1495
01:26:02,000 --> 01:26:05,760
Speaker 1: then I'll go, good, what does that mean? No? You

1496
01:26:05,800 --> 01:26:09,479
Speaker 1: know that? Say go cool? Can you expand you said

1497
01:26:09,479 --> 01:26:12,080
Speaker 1: before this, can you I don't get it. What does

1498
01:26:12,120 --> 01:26:14,479
Speaker 1: that mean for you? And then by the time you've

1499
01:26:14,479 --> 01:26:18,040
Speaker 1: asked twenty good questions, you might have gained more insight

1500
01:26:18,080 --> 01:26:22,200
Speaker 1: and understanding and awareness in one hour than you would

1501
01:26:22,280 --> 01:26:26,920
Speaker 1: have in a work situation working next to somebody for

1502
01:26:27,000 --> 01:26:31,920
Speaker 1: a year that you never tried to do that with. Yeah, yeah,

1503
01:26:32,040 --> 01:26:37,040
Speaker 1: and so, but it has to be a conscious thing. Yeah. So,

1504
01:26:37,840 --> 01:26:41,320
Speaker 1: hey cookie, it's been fun. I appreciate you. What's your score?

1505
01:26:41,320 --> 01:26:43,040
Speaker 1: Are you still a six or have you rocketed up

1506
01:26:43,040 --> 01:26:43,920
Speaker 1: to a six and a half.

1507
01:26:44,200 --> 01:26:47,200
Speaker 2: I'm going to go I'm going to go seven point three.

1508
01:26:47,640 --> 01:26:50,800
Speaker 1: Wow, that's good. That's good. Well it's there. Theyp is

1509
01:26:51,120 --> 01:26:52,960
Speaker 1: TYPS therapeutic.

1510
01:26:52,439 --> 01:26:54,120
Speaker 2: Right, sure is sure?

1511
01:26:54,360 --> 01:26:59,400
Speaker 1: Thank you, harsh pleasure. Hey, I appreciate you. Thank you

1512
01:26:59,439 --> 01:27:02,360
Speaker 1: so much for all you've done in the last however

1513
01:27:02,400 --> 01:27:05,880
Speaker 1: many years, not just on the show, but outside the show,

1514
01:27:05,920 --> 01:27:07,679
Speaker 1: with all our events and with all of the things

1515
01:27:07,760 --> 01:27:11,560
Speaker 1: and all the good things that you bring to everything.

1516
01:27:12,000 --> 01:27:15,400
Speaker 1: I appreciate you, and I'm super proud to what you

1517
01:27:15,439 --> 01:27:18,559
Speaker 1: grow and evolve and just become slightly better than me.

1518
01:27:18,680 --> 01:27:20,960
Speaker 1: That annoys me a little bit, Like I'm going to

1519
01:27:21,000 --> 01:27:23,240
Speaker 1: be honest. That fucks me off a little bit that

1520
01:27:23,280 --> 01:27:25,720
Speaker 1: you're a bit better than me now and I may

1521
01:27:25,760 --> 01:27:31,559
Speaker 1: have some unresolved anger and jealousy and resentment, but you know,

1522
01:27:31,760 --> 01:27:36,000
Speaker 1: keep going where you grow. Thanks Cookie, Thanks help O.

1523
01:27:36,080 --> 01:27:38,800
Speaker 1: Good a team. I'm back. I'm bloody back. I'm back.

1524
01:27:38,840 --> 01:27:40,519
Speaker 1: I just went and had we I'm going to be honest,

1525
01:27:40,560 --> 01:27:40,960
Speaker 1: how did we?

1526
01:27:42,160 --> 01:27:42,400
Speaker 2: You know?

1527
01:27:42,439 --> 01:27:44,519
Speaker 1: Those wheezs that you're having, You're like, fuck, how good

1528
01:27:44,600 --> 01:27:47,200
Speaker 1: is this? Anyway? Do we add a cup of tea?

1529
01:27:47,240 --> 01:27:51,720
Speaker 1: And I'm back. I'm rebooted, I'm hydrated, I'm energized. I'm

1530
01:27:52,760 --> 01:27:56,120
Speaker 1: I'm looking at the coin of the world, not in person,

1531
01:27:56,200 --> 01:27:58,160
Speaker 1: but virtually the coin of the world. The boss of me.

1532
01:27:59,200 --> 01:28:01,679
Speaker 1: People say, he do get so much shit done? Well,

1533
01:28:01,720 --> 01:28:05,240
Speaker 1: thanks for asking. She does it all. She's currently finishing

1534
01:28:05,280 --> 01:28:09,320
Speaker 1: my PhD. Hurry up, No just gagging. But she is

1535
01:28:09,520 --> 01:28:14,439
Speaker 1: extremely helpful and extremely amazing and capable, and I'm going

1536
01:28:14,520 --> 01:28:17,240
Speaker 1: to say just a little bit fucking bossy. She presents

1537
01:28:17,280 --> 01:28:20,960
Speaker 1: as Mary Poppins. She's like a Disney character and on

1538
01:28:21,120 --> 01:28:23,479
Speaker 1: here you'll get all of that. You'll get the whole

1539
01:28:23,560 --> 01:28:27,040
Speaker 1: kind of Mary Poppins vibe, you know, and frozen, you'll

1540
01:28:27,040 --> 01:28:30,080
Speaker 1: get a bit of that. But wait till the fucking

1541
01:28:30,240 --> 01:28:34,559
Speaker 1: camera stops rolling. It's terrifying. Melissa Marie Cameron. The Coin

1542
01:28:34,640 --> 01:28:37,240
Speaker 1: of the World, The Coin of the U Project. Where

1543
01:28:37,240 --> 01:28:37,840
Speaker 1: have you been?

1544
01:28:38,520 --> 01:28:42,600
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, hello, happy two thousandths. That's kind of

1545
01:28:42,600 --> 01:28:44,799
Speaker 3: hard to say, happy two thousandths.

1546
01:28:46,560 --> 01:28:49,480
Speaker 4: Where have I been? I've just been, you know, lurking.

1547
01:28:49,160 --> 01:28:52,439
Speaker 3: In the background, just cud in the shadows, hanging out

1548
01:28:52,479 --> 01:28:53,320
Speaker 3: in the background.

1549
01:28:53,560 --> 01:28:56,040
Speaker 1: Yes, lurky, lurky make lerkster.

1550
01:28:56,479 --> 01:28:59,799
Speaker 4: I heard the Frozen reference. Have you ever seen Frozen?

1551
01:29:00,640 --> 01:29:04,920
Speaker 1: It's my favorite movie. Yeah, I've seen it the house

1552
01:29:04,920 --> 01:29:07,600
Speaker 1: singing let it Go? Or yeah. I don't want to

1553
01:29:07,640 --> 01:29:10,559
Speaker 1: do a rendition now because people. I don't want people

1554
01:29:10,680 --> 01:29:12,559
Speaker 1: because once people hear it, they'll want me to keep

1555
01:29:12,600 --> 01:29:13,880
Speaker 1: doing it. It's embarrassing.

1556
01:29:14,600 --> 01:29:14,760
Speaker 4: Yea.

1557
01:29:14,920 --> 01:29:18,400
Speaker 1: And also that whoever whoever sang the original, I don't

1558
01:29:18,400 --> 01:29:20,320
Speaker 1: want to rain on their parade. I mean, they've got

1559
01:29:20,320 --> 01:29:23,479
Speaker 1: to keep a job, and once people hear missing that shit,

1560
01:29:24,240 --> 01:29:27,920
Speaker 1: they're going to be redundant. So we'll just keep it

1561
01:29:28,000 --> 01:29:28,840
Speaker 1: under wraps from now.

1562
01:29:29,479 --> 01:29:30,920
Speaker 4: Did you just let the cat out of the bag?

1563
01:29:31,800 --> 01:29:34,040
Speaker 4: She finished a PhD. That that's you're going to be

1564
01:29:34,120 --> 01:29:35,559
Speaker 4: terring in the next production.

1565
01:29:36,479 --> 01:29:39,120
Speaker 1: That's exactly what I'm going to be doing now. I

1566
01:29:39,160 --> 01:29:42,680
Speaker 1: know how you are because I talked to you all

1567
01:29:42,680 --> 01:29:45,200
Speaker 1: the time, but everyone else doesn't know how you are.

1568
01:29:45,280 --> 01:29:48,360
Speaker 1: So for those of you who are relatively new, Melissa is.

1569
01:29:49,840 --> 01:29:52,879
Speaker 1: She's the life force of the U project. She runs

1570
01:29:52,960 --> 01:29:56,880
Speaker 1: not only well, she does most of the editing and

1571
01:29:56,960 --> 01:29:58,920
Speaker 1: gets the guests and does all of that, but she

1572
01:29:59,000 --> 01:30:02,360
Speaker 1: also she's my business partner. So we own a company

1573
01:30:02,400 --> 01:30:05,839
Speaker 1: call to You Project, and so we do events together.

1574
01:30:06,120 --> 01:30:09,519
Speaker 1: She organizes all of my corporate work and travel, and

1575
01:30:10,320 --> 01:30:14,640
Speaker 1: she works with Nova, who are our kind of supporters.

1576
01:30:14,920 --> 01:30:18,760
Speaker 1: We're intertwined with Nova, and so she does all that

1577
01:30:18,880 --> 01:30:20,760
Speaker 1: grown up. I don't know what the fuck she does,

1578
01:30:20,760 --> 01:30:24,160
Speaker 1: but she does something over there. I'm not sure. Look,

1579
01:30:24,880 --> 01:30:29,200
Speaker 1: here's what I know. It involves money, involves sponsors and

1580
01:30:29,240 --> 01:30:31,959
Speaker 1: what else. I know. We don't get enough, so Melissa

1581
01:30:32,280 --> 01:30:38,800
Speaker 1: try harder. No, but she runs the business, the businesses

1582
01:30:39,120 --> 01:30:42,200
Speaker 1: and she's amazing. And for those of you who do

1583
01:30:42,320 --> 01:30:46,400
Speaker 1: know her, send some love on the typ Facebook page

1584
01:30:46,400 --> 01:30:48,920
Speaker 1: and ask her to do more than one a year. Well,

1585
01:30:48,920 --> 01:30:50,800
Speaker 1: she hasn't done. How long do you reckon it is

1586
01:30:50,840 --> 01:30:53,120
Speaker 1: since you've been on I would say three years.

1587
01:30:53,640 --> 01:30:56,200
Speaker 3: It's been a very long time, to the point where

1588
01:30:56,200 --> 01:30:58,240
Speaker 3: I actually just double checked.

1589
01:30:58,280 --> 01:30:59,679
Speaker 4: I'm like, are we recording?

1590
01:31:00,000 --> 01:31:02,600
Speaker 1: Ah, yeah, I'm a little.

1591
01:31:02,320 --> 01:31:04,719
Speaker 4: Bit out of practice, but yeah, it's been quite a while.

1592
01:31:05,200 --> 01:31:06,600
Speaker 1: I want you to be brave. I'm not going to

1593
01:31:06,680 --> 01:31:09,719
Speaker 1: do any fucking interrogating. But were you a bit nervous

1594
01:31:09,720 --> 01:31:11,479
Speaker 1: to do this because you haven't done month for a

1595
01:31:11,479 --> 01:31:11,960
Speaker 1: long time?

1596
01:31:12,400 --> 01:31:14,800
Speaker 3: Yes, I've a little bit, And as I say, I'm

1597
01:31:14,800 --> 01:31:16,679
Speaker 3: a little bit nervous and a little bit just out.

1598
01:31:16,600 --> 01:31:18,280
Speaker 4: Of like, oh you a little bit?

1599
01:31:18,320 --> 01:31:21,000
Speaker 1: How does this work? Again? Y a bit like how

1600
01:31:21,000 --> 01:31:25,479
Speaker 1: does it work? What do I do again? And yeah? Yeah,

1601
01:31:25,560 --> 01:31:28,599
Speaker 1: well lot of that going on. Well, I'm glad you're back,

1602
01:31:28,640 --> 01:31:30,800
Speaker 1: even if it is for one episode. And maybe, you know,

1603
01:31:30,840 --> 01:31:33,880
Speaker 1: if the people speak loud enough, maybe if there's you know,

1604
01:31:33,960 --> 01:31:38,360
Speaker 1: some kind of revolt, you know, some kind of Jimmy

1605
01:31:38,439 --> 01:31:43,040
Speaker 1: Kimmel kind of backlash that the people might say, we

1606
01:31:43,120 --> 01:31:45,640
Speaker 1: want more of Melissa, we want less of you, you

1607
01:31:45,800 --> 01:31:48,639
Speaker 1: fucking an idiot, and then I'll just pop on months

1608
01:31:48,640 --> 01:31:51,640
Speaker 1: a year and you can. But I can't do the

1609
01:31:51,680 --> 01:31:55,280
Speaker 1: shit you can do. So what we're doing everyone, of course,

1610
01:31:55,280 --> 01:31:57,640
Speaker 1: you know, because we're halfway through, so we've chatted with

1611
01:31:57,720 --> 01:32:00,720
Speaker 1: TIV and again, thank you all so much for being

1612
01:32:00,800 --> 01:32:04,280
Speaker 1: part of our journey over the two thousand episodes in

1613
01:32:04,320 --> 01:32:07,760
Speaker 1: that almost eight years. And yeah, so we're just going

1614
01:32:07,840 --> 01:32:11,320
Speaker 1: to continue on with just some thoughts and ideas that

1615
01:32:11,400 --> 01:32:18,360
Speaker 1: I think are somewhat representative important representative kind of lessons

1616
01:32:18,439 --> 01:32:21,400
Speaker 1: to come out of or thought bubbles to explore to

1617
01:32:21,439 --> 01:32:26,120
Speaker 1: come out of the last two thousand conversations or thereabouts

1618
01:32:26,760 --> 01:32:31,439
Speaker 1: on the You project. I'm interested to hear what people

1619
01:32:31,479 --> 01:32:33,599
Speaker 1: think about the bit because we're doing this in bits,

1620
01:32:33,760 --> 01:32:36,920
Speaker 1: and I recorded that you know that bit at the start, Yes,

1621
01:32:36,920 --> 01:32:39,920
Speaker 1: the King, the King, James, Yes, and you know, you

1622
01:32:39,920 --> 01:32:41,519
Speaker 1: know when you do we'll get into it in a minute,

1623
01:32:41,560 --> 01:32:43,120
Speaker 1: but you know when you do shit like I do

1624
01:32:43,240 --> 01:32:45,439
Speaker 1: this all the time everyone because I'm a big fucking

1625
01:32:45,479 --> 01:32:48,800
Speaker 1: baby who's insecure. I'll do something then i'll go less,

1626
01:32:48,840 --> 01:32:50,599
Speaker 1: what do you think of this? And if she's she goes,

1627
01:32:50,640 --> 01:32:52,120
Speaker 1: oh it's good, or a shit, I goes, yeah, I'm

1628
01:32:52,280 --> 01:32:54,120
Speaker 1: definitely not doing it then, or if she goes it's good,

1629
01:32:54,160 --> 01:32:57,280
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm definitely doing it then. So not insecure

1630
01:32:57,280 --> 01:33:00,479
Speaker 1: at all. So as soon as I wrote that, because

1631
01:33:00,560 --> 01:33:03,040
Speaker 1: I have that churchy background and because all of my

1632
01:33:03,120 --> 01:33:06,240
Speaker 1: biblical stuff was in that Literally it's called King James.

1633
01:33:06,760 --> 01:33:09,879
Speaker 1: That's written in kind of that King James style vibe,

1634
01:33:10,280 --> 01:33:13,280
Speaker 1: And I find it really easy to write in that language,

1635
01:33:13,320 --> 01:33:17,080
Speaker 1: and it's kind of for me. It's familiar, and it's funny,

1636
01:33:17,080 --> 01:33:19,120
Speaker 1: and it's a little bit of kind of an intersection

1637
01:33:19,360 --> 01:33:22,120
Speaker 1: of where I used to be and where I am now,

1638
01:33:22,160 --> 01:33:24,280
Speaker 1: and it's and I try for it not to be

1639
01:33:24,360 --> 01:33:29,080
Speaker 1: disrespectful from a theological perspective, But then I think, to me,

1640
01:33:29,160 --> 01:33:32,840
Speaker 1: it sounds like funny and normal. But I think other

1641
01:33:32,920 --> 01:33:35,519
Speaker 1: people would hear that and go, what the fuck is

1642
01:33:35,560 --> 01:33:38,439
Speaker 1: he saying? Like what is this? Like? I don't what

1643
01:33:38,600 --> 01:33:42,320
Speaker 1: is he saying? What do these words mean? Or worse still,

1644
01:33:42,360 --> 01:33:45,160
Speaker 1: imagine a new person thinking this is actually how I

1645
01:33:45,280 --> 01:33:49,880
Speaker 1: just talk? Yes, this is They're like, is that Saint

1646
01:33:49,920 --> 01:33:51,479
Speaker 1: Peter introing the show?

1647
01:33:52,439 --> 01:33:52,519
Speaker 3: Is?

1648
01:33:52,840 --> 01:33:57,760
Speaker 1: What is that? Definitely not all right? So Tiff and

1649
01:33:57,840 --> 01:34:00,040
Speaker 1: I went through let me tell you what TIF and

1650
01:34:00,120 --> 01:34:04,679
Speaker 1: I went through. So we spoke about the idea. These

1651
01:34:04,720 --> 01:34:07,760
Speaker 1: ideas assume you could be wrong, do the hard thing

1652
01:34:07,800 --> 01:34:10,559
Speaker 1: to get the good thing, Spend time with people who

1653
01:34:10,600 --> 01:34:14,320
Speaker 1: aren't like you, say, I don't know, do what scares you,

1654
01:34:14,400 --> 01:34:16,479
Speaker 1: and all of these we unpacked, as you know, hit

1655
01:34:16,520 --> 01:34:20,559
Speaker 1: the pause button, set anti goals, loosen the grip on

1656
01:34:20,600 --> 01:34:24,799
Speaker 1: your identity, focus on the climb, not the mountain. Stop

1657
01:34:24,880 --> 01:34:28,679
Speaker 1: thinking like you. And that was it. And so we've

1658
01:34:28,680 --> 01:34:30,040
Speaker 1: got a few more to get through. Don't know if

1659
01:34:30,080 --> 01:34:32,240
Speaker 1: we're going to be thirty minutes, folks or ninety minutes,

1660
01:34:32,280 --> 01:34:36,599
Speaker 1: but definitely stick around if you can. And I'll try

1661
01:34:36,600 --> 01:34:42,960
Speaker 1: to make this as user friendly and as kind of understandable,

1662
01:34:43,840 --> 01:34:48,080
Speaker 1: the least jargon, the least sciencey kind of psychobabble that

1663
01:34:48,120 --> 01:34:52,800
Speaker 1: we can manage. So Number one on your list, Melissa.

1664
01:34:52,520 --> 01:34:55,400
Speaker 4: Is do exceptional to be exceptional?

1665
01:34:56,000 --> 01:35:01,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's an interesting thing the whole, Like, on a level,

1666
01:35:02,040 --> 01:35:03,760
Speaker 1: I think we all maybe we don't, but I think

1667
01:35:03,800 --> 01:35:07,320
Speaker 1: a lot of us want to be exceptional. I don't

1668
01:35:07,360 --> 01:35:10,080
Speaker 1: know what that means. Like for me, exceptional just means

1669
01:35:10,120 --> 01:35:13,120
Speaker 1: that it isn't the normal. It's like the exception to

1670
01:35:13,160 --> 01:35:17,439
Speaker 1: the rule. And so for me, it's about doing what

1671
01:35:17,560 --> 01:35:21,519
Speaker 1: most people won't do to get perhaps what most people

1672
01:35:21,520 --> 01:35:25,320
Speaker 1: won't get. So I feel like, you know, do exceptional

1673
01:35:25,400 --> 01:35:28,479
Speaker 1: to be exceptional? Well, if I just outlast everyone that's

1674
01:35:28,520 --> 01:35:32,400
Speaker 1: doing exceptional, if I'm the guy that does six hundred

1675
01:35:32,400 --> 01:35:36,280
Speaker 1: episodes that make no money when the average podcast lasts

1676
01:35:36,479 --> 01:35:40,680
Speaker 1: seven or eight episodes and I do six hundred. Well,

1677
01:35:40,720 --> 01:35:43,479
Speaker 1: that's not because I'm smarter or better. That's not because

1678
01:35:43,479 --> 01:35:46,960
Speaker 1: I'm gifted. That's not because I'm clever. That's just because

1679
01:35:47,040 --> 01:35:50,599
Speaker 1: I did what most people won't do right. And I'm

1680
01:35:50,600 --> 01:35:52,400
Speaker 1: not saying oh one, no great, I'm saying no, we

1681
01:35:52,720 --> 01:35:57,840
Speaker 1: can all find a way to, through choices and behaviors

1682
01:35:57,880 --> 01:36:02,639
Speaker 1: and resilience, to do something that will help us create

1683
01:36:03,040 --> 01:36:06,040
Speaker 1: an exceptional outcome. And that's not because we're better than

1684
01:36:06,080 --> 01:36:09,800
Speaker 1: other people, or we have a superiority complex, or we

1685
01:36:10,040 --> 01:36:15,000
Speaker 1: are ourselves innately exceptional. It's because we're going to go Well,

1686
01:36:15,800 --> 01:36:17,280
Speaker 1: you know, I want to write a book, and I

1687
01:36:17,320 --> 01:36:18,920
Speaker 1: want to get that book published, and I want to

1688
01:36:18,960 --> 01:36:21,960
Speaker 1: sell some books. Well, I think I've spoken to a

1689
01:36:21,960 --> 01:36:23,840
Speaker 1: thousand people in my life who want to write a book.

1690
01:36:23,840 --> 01:36:27,280
Speaker 1: But the actual number of those thousand people who wrote

1691
01:36:27,280 --> 01:36:30,400
Speaker 1: the book, planned the book, researched the book, wrote the book,

1692
01:36:30,560 --> 01:36:34,960
Speaker 1: edited the book, got the book published, got it turned

1693
01:36:34,960 --> 01:36:37,560
Speaker 1: into a real thing in the world from a theoretical

1694
01:36:37,600 --> 01:36:39,920
Speaker 1: thing in their mind, and then got it distributed and

1695
01:36:39,960 --> 01:36:42,479
Speaker 1: then sold books and then make some money from it.

1696
01:36:42,520 --> 01:36:45,160
Speaker 1: And this is not a criticism, this is just how

1697
01:36:45,200 --> 01:36:48,760
Speaker 1: it works. Is that the majority will not do these

1698
01:36:48,800 --> 01:36:51,639
Speaker 1: things unless they are easy. So the amount of people

1699
01:36:51,640 --> 01:36:53,559
Speaker 1: that I know out of the thousand that said I'm

1700
01:36:53,560 --> 01:36:55,080
Speaker 1: going to write a book, I really want to write

1701
01:36:55,080 --> 01:36:57,960
Speaker 1: a book, it might be ten. And then the amount

1702
01:36:57,960 --> 01:37:00,599
Speaker 1: of those that actually had a commercial success that book,

1703
01:37:01,960 --> 01:37:04,040
Speaker 1: I'm not sure there was one. And that's not to

1704
01:37:04,080 --> 01:37:06,800
Speaker 1: say we can't do it, and that's maybe the make

1705
01:37:06,840 --> 01:37:08,880
Speaker 1: and dough from it is the variable. But they're getting

1706
01:37:08,920 --> 01:37:10,640
Speaker 1: to a point where you've got a printed book in

1707
01:37:10,640 --> 01:37:13,320
Speaker 1: your hand. You know that is really just a matter

1708
01:37:13,360 --> 01:37:15,800
Speaker 1: of effort and consistency and time and even if you

1709
01:37:15,880 --> 01:37:19,439
Speaker 1: have to self publish. But I'm all about analyzing and

1710
01:37:19,479 --> 01:37:22,200
Speaker 1: weighing up. You know, what is the cost of the

1711
01:37:22,240 --> 01:37:24,400
Speaker 1: thing that I want to do? Firstly, what is it

1712
01:37:24,439 --> 01:37:25,599
Speaker 1: that I want to do? Be create?

1713
01:37:25,720 --> 01:37:25,840
Speaker 2: Like?

1714
01:37:25,920 --> 01:37:27,840
Speaker 1: What do I want my career to look like, What

1715
01:37:27,880 --> 01:37:30,080
Speaker 1: I want my body to look like, my relationships to

1716
01:37:30,120 --> 01:37:32,720
Speaker 1: look like, my lifestyle to be. Where do I want

1717
01:37:32,760 --> 01:37:34,960
Speaker 1: to live? What climate do I want to live in?

1718
01:37:35,320 --> 01:37:37,680
Speaker 1: What do I want to produce and create? Over the

1719
01:37:37,720 --> 01:37:40,920
Speaker 1: next five years, What kind of existence do I want

1720
01:37:40,920 --> 01:37:44,639
Speaker 1: to build for my family, for my kids? What kind

1721
01:37:44,680 --> 01:37:46,519
Speaker 1: of a teacher do I want to be? What kind

1722
01:37:46,560 --> 01:37:48,680
Speaker 1: of a role model do I want to be? And

1723
01:37:48,720 --> 01:37:52,880
Speaker 1: then the very quick part two of those questions is

1724
01:37:53,520 --> 01:37:57,360
Speaker 1: and what's required of me? What's required of me to

1725
01:37:57,439 --> 01:38:01,080
Speaker 1: do that? Be that, create that, And so everything comes

1726
01:38:01,120 --> 01:38:04,920
Speaker 1: at a cost. You know, I've worked with so many

1727
01:38:04,920 --> 01:38:10,640
Speaker 1: people who were very successful, and not because they're in

1728
01:38:10,640 --> 01:38:14,960
Speaker 1: that innately talented or super gifted or better than anyone necessarily,

1729
01:38:15,520 --> 01:38:19,639
Speaker 1: but rather just because they fucking persevered like they were

1730
01:38:19,680 --> 01:38:22,240
Speaker 1: the exception to the rule. We know that most people

1731
01:38:22,320 --> 01:38:27,240
Speaker 1: who and this is not this is not hate, This

1732
01:38:27,360 --> 01:38:29,080
Speaker 1: is just how it happens. Most people who lose weight

1733
01:38:29,120 --> 01:38:31,760
Speaker 1: regain it. Most people who decide to go to a

1734
01:38:31,800 --> 01:38:33,240
Speaker 1: gym join the gym and say I'm going to go

1735
01:38:33,240 --> 01:38:36,120
Speaker 1: every day. Most people don't go every day. Most people

1736
01:38:36,120 --> 01:38:38,640
Speaker 1: give up a greater percentage, more than fifty percent, and

1737
01:38:38,680 --> 01:38:42,280
Speaker 1: stop going within a relatively short time. Most people who

1738
01:38:42,280 --> 01:38:46,080
Speaker 1: said a new year's resolution don't achieve the new year's resolution,

1739
01:38:46,240 --> 01:38:48,520
Speaker 1: not because they can't, not because they don't have the capacity,

1740
01:38:48,800 --> 01:38:53,679
Speaker 1: but because they just fucking stop. So So what's normal

1741
01:38:53,840 --> 01:38:57,920
Speaker 1: is giving up. What's normal is not finishing what we start.

1742
01:38:58,120 --> 01:39:01,960
Speaker 1: What's normal is not not dealing with the pain and

1743
01:39:02,000 --> 01:39:05,120
Speaker 1: the discomfort and the inconvenience and the roadblocks and the

1744
01:39:05,120 --> 01:39:08,720
Speaker 1: peaks and troughs, and the naysayers and the negativity and

1745
01:39:08,760 --> 01:39:13,680
Speaker 1: the bullshit and the discomfort and the uncertainty and the unfamiliarity.

1746
01:39:14,560 --> 01:39:18,680
Speaker 1: What's not normal is dealing with that and working through that.

1747
01:39:18,720 --> 01:39:20,559
Speaker 1: What's normal is to give up in the middle of that.

1748
01:39:21,280 --> 01:39:23,360
Speaker 1: And this is not a popular message, I don't care,

1749
01:39:24,160 --> 01:39:26,880
Speaker 1: but it's fucking true message. And if you want to

1750
01:39:26,880 --> 01:39:29,280
Speaker 1: be exceptional, or you want to at the very least

1751
01:39:29,320 --> 01:39:33,679
Speaker 1: create exceptional outcomes, then you can't do what most people

1752
01:39:33,760 --> 01:39:37,880
Speaker 1: do because you will literally produce common results by doing

1753
01:39:37,920 --> 01:39:42,320
Speaker 1: common things. And now this is not about arrogance or superiority.

1754
01:39:42,360 --> 01:39:46,280
Speaker 1: This is about saying, all right, Melissa et al. You

1755
01:39:46,320 --> 01:39:50,719
Speaker 1: are going to produce results anyway. You are constantly producing

1756
01:39:50,760 --> 01:39:52,439
Speaker 1: results in your world, some of them good, some of

1757
01:39:52,439 --> 01:39:57,200
Speaker 1: them fucking catastrophic, strophic, some of them Okay. Now, what

1758
01:39:57,360 --> 01:39:59,920
Speaker 1: is it that you want to produce and what is

1759
01:40:00,120 --> 01:40:03,559
Speaker 1: the thing that you want to be not because you're

1760
01:40:03,560 --> 01:40:06,080
Speaker 1: comparing yourself to anyone, But what's the thing that you

1761
01:40:06,120 --> 01:40:07,880
Speaker 1: want to be fucking great at? What do you want

1762
01:40:07,920 --> 01:40:09,840
Speaker 1: to be great at? What do you want to be

1763
01:40:09,880 --> 01:40:13,280
Speaker 1: successful at? What do you what do you want to

1764
01:40:13,400 --> 01:40:15,000
Speaker 1: what do you want to live in the middle of?

1765
01:40:15,240 --> 01:40:18,320
Speaker 1: And I think that's that, you know, this is really

1766
01:40:18,400 --> 01:40:22,040
Speaker 1: part of the doing exceptional. To be exceptional is really

1767
01:40:22,160 --> 01:40:24,680
Speaker 1: just will I roll up my sleeves, will I do

1768
01:40:24,760 --> 01:40:27,400
Speaker 1: the work? And how long will I do it for?

1769
01:40:28,200 --> 01:40:30,240
Speaker 1: So do exceptional? To be exceptional?

1770
01:40:31,080 --> 01:40:31,360
Speaker 2: Do you know?

1771
01:40:31,439 --> 01:40:36,559
Speaker 4: One of the probably biggest lessons that I've learned in

1772
01:40:36,600 --> 01:40:37,280
Speaker 4: the last.

1773
01:40:37,000 --> 01:40:40,760
Speaker 3: Couple of years watching you do your PhD and having

1774
01:40:40,840 --> 01:40:43,439
Speaker 3: the privilege of kind of seeing what's going on behind

1775
01:40:43,439 --> 01:40:48,040
Speaker 3: the scenes with all of that, has been ties directly

1776
01:40:48,080 --> 01:40:51,559
Speaker 3: into this. And that was just watching you keep going

1777
01:40:51,880 --> 01:40:55,320
Speaker 3: no matter what. And I particularly it reminds me of

1778
01:40:55,439 --> 01:40:59,480
Speaker 3: that night before your final review, which.

1779
01:40:59,479 --> 01:41:00,840
Speaker 1: I was thinking of that just then.

1780
01:41:01,320 --> 01:41:03,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I'm like nine out of ten people that

1781
01:41:03,920 --> 01:41:06,120
Speaker 3: night probably would have just thrown in the towel, And

1782
01:41:06,600 --> 01:41:07,800
Speaker 3: I mean understandably.

1783
01:41:08,640 --> 01:41:09,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's so many times that.

1784
01:41:09,920 --> 01:41:13,880
Speaker 3: I've reflected back on that and learned so much from

1785
01:41:14,040 --> 01:41:17,120
Speaker 3: the way that you just persevered through that and somehow

1786
01:41:17,280 --> 01:41:18,360
Speaker 3: made it out the other end.

1787
01:41:18,720 --> 01:41:19,760
Speaker 1: And for that, you.

1788
01:41:20,280 --> 01:41:22,439
Speaker 3: Know, we don't want to you don't want to speak

1789
01:41:22,479 --> 01:41:24,800
Speaker 3: too soon, but for that you'll be Yeah, you'll end

1790
01:41:24,880 --> 01:41:25,799
Speaker 3: up with that PhD.

1791
01:41:26,120 --> 01:41:29,760
Speaker 1: Thank you. That is a really interesting I've said many

1792
01:41:29,800 --> 01:41:35,680
Speaker 1: times university is not my natural habitat. I can do it.

1793
01:41:36,280 --> 01:41:38,240
Speaker 1: I can do it, and I can be academic, and

1794
01:41:38,320 --> 01:41:40,800
Speaker 1: I can I can do the job, you know, but

1795
01:41:40,840 --> 01:41:43,920
Speaker 1: it's it's and I love parts of it and I

1796
01:41:43,960 --> 01:41:46,720
Speaker 1: hate parts of it, but I'm grateful for all of it,

1797
01:41:46,800 --> 01:41:49,920
Speaker 1: the love and the hate. And what Melissa's talking about

1798
01:41:50,000 --> 01:41:55,080
Speaker 1: is so part of my program anyway, is what's called

1799
01:41:55,120 --> 01:41:58,760
Speaker 1: academic milestones, and I had four of them, and it's

1800
01:41:58,760 --> 01:42:02,000
Speaker 1: basically which I spoke about earlier with Tiff, where you

1801
01:42:02,040 --> 01:42:05,960
Speaker 1: go and you stand before a board of academics and professors,

1802
01:42:06,320 --> 01:42:11,280
Speaker 1: same thing, and then they basically evaluate you. And before

1803
01:42:11,280 --> 01:42:15,639
Speaker 1: my last one, which was you know, and like I said,

1804
01:42:15,640 --> 01:42:17,320
Speaker 1: they're either going to give you a green light, an

1805
01:42:17,360 --> 01:42:19,920
Speaker 1: orange light, or a red light. There's a chance that

1806
01:42:19,920 --> 01:42:22,240
Speaker 1: they'll go you're out of the program, which they can

1807
01:42:22,280 --> 01:42:24,839
Speaker 1: still do even at that stage after years of research.

1808
01:42:25,560 --> 01:42:27,679
Speaker 1: It's just not to the quality. It's not to the standards.

1809
01:42:27,680 --> 01:42:32,000
Speaker 1: You don't know what you're talking about. Performed terribly. That

1810
01:42:32,040 --> 01:42:34,080
Speaker 1: can happen. It doesn't happen a lot, but that can happen.

1811
01:42:34,120 --> 01:42:37,040
Speaker 1: The next way, more common is that they give you

1812
01:42:37,080 --> 01:42:41,320
Speaker 1: an orange light and say, cool, you're on the right path,

1813
01:42:41,400 --> 01:42:43,200
Speaker 1: but you need to do more, and you need to

1814
01:42:43,280 --> 01:42:45,519
Speaker 1: go through this again. You need to repeat this again.

1815
01:42:46,360 --> 01:42:50,280
Speaker 1: And I was positive I was either going to get

1816
01:42:50,000 --> 01:42:53,240
Speaker 1: a red or an orange light. The fact that I

1817
01:42:53,240 --> 01:42:56,080
Speaker 1: would get a green light hadn't even crossed my mind.

1818
01:42:57,439 --> 01:43:01,360
Speaker 1: And I was on Zoom the night before my review

1819
01:43:02,760 --> 01:43:06,080
Speaker 1: trying to remember I told you everyone, it's it's a

1820
01:43:06,680 --> 01:43:09,080
Speaker 1: oh I didn't tell you this bit. It's a PowerPoint presentation.

1821
01:43:09,280 --> 01:43:12,640
Speaker 1: Well fucking now, that's like me trying to peel bananas

1822
01:43:12,640 --> 01:43:16,800
Speaker 1: with boxing gloves on. I'm like, I can't do like.

1823
01:43:16,920 --> 01:43:20,519
Speaker 1: I'm not a PowerPoint presentation person. Anyway, it doesn't matter

1824
01:43:20,520 --> 01:43:23,640
Speaker 1: about what you are, because Craig, it's it's we're not

1825
01:43:23,800 --> 01:43:27,040
Speaker 1: changing the fucking system for you, of course, of course,

1826
01:43:27,840 --> 01:43:30,800
Speaker 1: of course. And this is me saying, you know, mister, hey,

1827
01:43:30,960 --> 01:43:33,640
Speaker 1: just be adaptable. I'm like, fuck your adaptation, you know

1828
01:43:34,200 --> 01:43:38,640
Speaker 1: this is dumb. Be more like me anyway. So the

1829
01:43:38,760 --> 01:43:43,920
Speaker 1: night before, I and Melissa and Chris, my senior supervisor,

1830
01:43:43,960 --> 01:43:50,879
Speaker 1: and Lucy my second supervisor, academic supervisor, I think, and Campbell,

1831
01:43:50,920 --> 01:43:52,840
Speaker 1: another guy who was so you have a whole team,

1832
01:43:52,840 --> 01:43:56,160
Speaker 1: you have a supporting team. And anyway, we were that's right.

1833
01:43:56,240 --> 01:43:58,439
Speaker 1: So there was five of us and we were we

1834
01:43:58,439 --> 01:44:02,600
Speaker 1: were on Zoom too two oclocky two o'clock in the

1835
01:44:03,320 --> 01:44:10,080
Speaker 1: and from literally seven pm. And I, I don't know

1836
01:44:10,080 --> 01:44:15,679
Speaker 1: what my emotional limit is, but I was right there.

1837
01:44:16,479 --> 01:44:20,480
Speaker 1: And I honestly and at that point where you're exhausted

1838
01:44:20,560 --> 01:44:23,799
Speaker 1: and some things are like, this is not your natural habitat.

1839
01:44:23,920 --> 01:44:27,760
Speaker 1: And by the way, I'm not saying I'm great. In fact,

1840
01:44:27,760 --> 01:44:30,679
Speaker 1: I'm saying I wish I was great, because this would

1841
01:44:30,680 --> 01:44:35,599
Speaker 1: have been way less stressful. But because I with some things,

1842
01:44:35,640 --> 01:44:39,080
Speaker 1: you know, with technology and with like even using PowerPoint

1843
01:44:39,080 --> 01:44:41,400
Speaker 1: and all that stuff, which is very mundane and basic

1844
01:44:41,439 --> 01:44:43,599
Speaker 1: for most people, so I don't use it. So when

1845
01:44:43,640 --> 01:44:46,519
Speaker 1: and then when I go to use it, it's like I'm

1846
01:44:46,560 --> 01:44:50,360
Speaker 1: trying to teach something that I don't actually understand. But anyway,

1847
01:44:51,280 --> 01:44:54,559
Speaker 1: I got through. I got through, and it was funny

1848
01:44:54,600 --> 01:45:04,040
Speaker 1: because the three previous reviews I was I was very

1849
01:45:04,160 --> 01:45:08,200
Speaker 1: very nervous, and leading up to this, I was hysterically nervous.

1850
01:45:09,120 --> 01:45:11,439
Speaker 1: But then when it actually started, I don't know if

1851
01:45:11,479 --> 01:45:13,880
Speaker 1: you remember, and there was a bit of it's almost

1852
01:45:14,040 --> 01:45:17,479
Speaker 1: like I hit one out of the park, like I

1853
01:45:17,520 --> 01:45:22,559
Speaker 1: think one of the reviewers smiled, or or when oh yeah,

1854
01:45:22,560 --> 01:45:26,120
Speaker 1: that's interesting, or they gave me something positive which is

1855
01:45:26,560 --> 01:45:27,599
Speaker 1: which is a rarity.

1856
01:45:28,080 --> 01:45:31,240
Speaker 4: Yes, and it just kind of came together.

1857
01:45:31,840 --> 01:45:35,400
Speaker 1: Oh but yeah, that was one of those moments for me. Yeah.

1858
01:45:35,439 --> 01:45:38,200
Speaker 3: To me that it also spoke to the fact that

1859
01:45:39,000 --> 01:45:41,160
Speaker 3: a lot of it, even the night before, everything was

1860
01:45:41,240 --> 01:45:45,000
Speaker 3: just it was a messy process, like it was there

1861
01:45:45,080 --> 01:45:48,520
Speaker 3: was no perfection to it, Like it was just like messiness.

1862
01:45:48,520 --> 01:45:50,680
Speaker 3: And then you know, you get feedback to say, no,

1863
01:45:50,760 --> 01:45:52,519
Speaker 3: that's going to get thrown out or that's not done

1864
01:45:52,520 --> 01:45:57,200
Speaker 3: the right way, and even like pulling that end product together,

1865
01:45:57,320 --> 01:46:00,160
Speaker 3: it was a messy process, but you found a way.

1866
01:46:00,280 --> 01:46:02,880
Speaker 3: And I think the other part of that too was

1867
01:46:03,920 --> 01:46:06,800
Speaker 3: there was no kind of escape clause, like you had

1868
01:46:06,880 --> 01:46:10,200
Speaker 3: a due date, everybody was going to be there, there

1869
01:46:10,240 --> 01:46:13,680
Speaker 3: was no getting out of it. It was obviously with

1870
01:46:13,920 --> 01:46:15,880
Speaker 3: the fact that so many people know that you're doing

1871
01:46:15,920 --> 01:46:18,720
Speaker 3: your PhD, like there was so much on the line,

1872
01:46:19,320 --> 01:46:21,960
Speaker 3: and I think that also just kind of speaks to

1873
01:46:22,720 --> 01:46:26,280
Speaker 3: sometimes when you're forced to do something that can be

1874
01:46:26,320 --> 01:46:29,599
Speaker 3: the difference between you actually getting it done and you've

1875
01:46:29,600 --> 01:46:33,000
Speaker 3: got that accountability and not getting it done.

1876
01:46:32,200 --> 01:46:37,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, how much discomfort can you deal with? Sometimes that

1877
01:46:37,760 --> 01:46:41,759
Speaker 1: And also, you know, it's funny though we speak about

1878
01:46:41,760 --> 01:46:44,320
Speaker 1: this all the time about in some rooms you're the dumbest,

1879
01:46:44,360 --> 01:46:47,080
Speaker 1: in others you're the smartest, and you know, it depends

1880
01:46:47,120 --> 01:46:50,360
Speaker 1: where you go, it depends who you're with, and like that.

1881
01:46:50,360 --> 01:46:54,960
Speaker 1: That was very good for me though, because as horrible

1882
01:46:55,000 --> 01:46:58,160
Speaker 1: as it was, I got through it, which was nice.

1883
01:46:58,320 --> 01:47:02,960
Speaker 1: And you know, it's it's actually for the guy that's

1884
01:47:03,240 --> 01:47:06,640
Speaker 1: pretty comfortable most of his life now, Like most of

1885
01:47:06,680 --> 01:47:11,000
Speaker 1: my discomfort is self inflicted, you know, training, Like I'm

1886
01:47:11,000 --> 01:47:12,760
Speaker 1: walking a million miles a day, not that that's hard,

1887
01:47:12,760 --> 01:47:16,000
Speaker 1: but you know, sometimes like I'm walking it Nellie midnight

1888
01:47:16,080 --> 01:47:18,560
Speaker 1: because i haven't had you know, so I'm out and

1889
01:47:18,560 --> 01:47:20,880
Speaker 1: I've got to do fucking eight thousand steps before midnight

1890
01:47:21,000 --> 01:47:25,400
Speaker 1: or whatever it is, right, or you know, I'm deadlifting

1891
01:47:25,479 --> 01:47:28,400
Speaker 1: or I'm fucking leg pressing or a leg press last

1892
01:47:28,439 --> 01:47:32,599
Speaker 1: week and I've had neural pain for fucking seven days.

1893
01:47:33,120 --> 01:47:35,680
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, but anyway, it just is what it is.

1894
01:47:35,680 --> 01:47:39,000
Speaker 1: But yes, do exceptional to be exceptional? Yes?

1895
01:47:39,320 --> 01:47:42,719
Speaker 3: Have you found that, Like, as I said before, I've

1896
01:47:42,800 --> 01:47:45,760
Speaker 3: even like as a third party, found that kind of

1897
01:47:45,840 --> 01:47:47,560
Speaker 3: has transferred.

1898
01:47:47,160 --> 01:47:50,880
Speaker 4: To me and the way I think and when I reflect.

1899
01:47:50,600 --> 01:47:54,360
Speaker 3: Back of I'm doing something supposedly hard, thinking of moments

1900
01:47:54,400 --> 01:47:56,599
Speaker 3: like that that make me go, no, I can't actually

1901
01:47:56,600 --> 01:47:56,880
Speaker 3: do it.

1902
01:47:56,920 --> 01:47:59,160
Speaker 4: I just haven't committed enough, or something like that.

1903
01:47:59,479 --> 01:48:03,120
Speaker 3: Have you found that that has kind of transferred into

1904
01:48:03,280 --> 01:48:05,400
Speaker 3: other areas or aspects of your life?

1905
01:48:05,800 --> 01:48:06,000
Speaker 4: You know?

1906
01:48:06,040 --> 01:48:08,880
Speaker 3: How like sometimes when people, you know, they think they

1907
01:48:08,880 --> 01:48:10,559
Speaker 3: can't run, and then all of a sudden they're running

1908
01:48:10,600 --> 01:48:12,640
Speaker 3: a five k or a half marathron or whatever the

1909
01:48:12,640 --> 01:48:15,639
Speaker 3: case might be, and then it opens up other doors.

1910
01:48:15,960 --> 01:48:18,720
Speaker 4: Have you found that with your UNI work?

1911
01:48:19,160 --> 01:48:22,240
Speaker 1: Yeah? Look, with not just with that, but with everything.

1912
01:48:22,280 --> 01:48:25,040
Speaker 1: You know. It's like I had sounded like the old

1913
01:48:25,280 --> 01:48:26,800
Speaker 1: o can dickhead at the end of the bar that

1914
01:48:26,960 --> 01:48:30,559
Speaker 1: just bangs on. But here I am, did I have

1915
01:48:30,560 --> 01:48:32,840
Speaker 1: to tell you how good I was? Fucking Hold my beer,

1916
01:48:32,880 --> 01:48:38,120
Speaker 1: Brian and listen to this. But you know, like setting

1917
01:48:38,200 --> 01:48:41,320
Speaker 1: up a personal training center when there weren't any. So

1918
01:48:41,320 --> 01:48:42,960
Speaker 1: it's not like I could go and look at one.

1919
01:48:43,520 --> 01:48:47,080
Speaker 1: I couldn't talk to a personal training center owner because

1920
01:48:47,120 --> 01:48:50,760
Speaker 1: there wasn't one. There was no course, there was no insurance,

1921
01:48:50,760 --> 01:48:54,240
Speaker 1: there was no industry, there was no profession. And I

1922
01:48:54,439 --> 01:48:57,880
Speaker 1: was well. I started peteing at twenty two, and then

1923
01:48:57,920 --> 01:48:59,880
Speaker 1: I set up my first studio at twenty six. But

1924
01:49:00,920 --> 01:49:04,599
Speaker 1: and I was you know, I just didn't know how

1925
01:49:04,600 --> 01:49:06,439
Speaker 1: to do anything. I didn't know how to lead people.

1926
01:49:06,439 --> 01:49:08,400
Speaker 1: I didn't know how to build a business. I didn't

1927
01:49:08,439 --> 01:49:12,120
Speaker 1: know about marketing or branding. I didn't know about accounting.

1928
01:49:12,160 --> 01:49:15,240
Speaker 1: I didn't know about insurance. I didn't know about how

1929
01:49:15,280 --> 01:49:18,519
Speaker 1: to find a property and secure a lease. And I

1930
01:49:18,560 --> 01:49:20,360
Speaker 1: didn't know how to talk to lawyers. I didn't know

1931
01:49:20,400 --> 01:49:22,320
Speaker 1: how to pull all this shit together. I didn't know

1932
01:49:23,000 --> 01:49:27,880
Speaker 1: I didn't have any kind of business development plan. You know,

1933
01:49:28,720 --> 01:49:31,519
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have known what a business development plan like.

1934
01:49:31,960 --> 01:49:34,840
Speaker 1: But you just jump in, you know, you jump in

1935
01:49:34,880 --> 01:49:36,960
Speaker 1: and you'll sink or swim, and you'll fuck things up.

1936
01:49:37,720 --> 01:49:39,479
Speaker 1: But if you don't give up when you fuck up

1937
01:49:39,479 --> 01:49:41,360
Speaker 1: the first thing, as long as you're not killing yourself

1938
01:49:41,479 --> 01:49:44,280
Speaker 1: or anyone in the process, you go all right, Well,

1939
01:49:44,280 --> 01:49:47,320
Speaker 1: that was terrible. My first staff meeting with my three

1940
01:49:47,400 --> 01:49:51,080
Speaker 1: staff was terrible. I was fucking hopeless. How can I

1941
01:49:51,160 --> 01:49:56,360
Speaker 1: be better? Or you know this, you know this thing happened.

1942
01:49:56,360 --> 01:49:59,439
Speaker 1: I've never dealt with that thing before. Or I've got

1943
01:49:59,479 --> 01:50:03,760
Speaker 1: an ang reclient and they're really mad at me and

1944
01:50:03,760 --> 01:50:06,679
Speaker 1: they want to how do I deal with angry people?

1945
01:50:06,720 --> 01:50:09,040
Speaker 1: And it's not the business I'm working for, it's my

1946
01:50:09,200 --> 01:50:13,599
Speaker 1: business now. So all of that over the years, all

1947
01:50:13,640 --> 01:50:16,240
Speaker 1: of that, you know, trying to I think hard stuff

1948
01:50:16,280 --> 01:50:17,760
Speaker 1: is the best stuff, you know, and we don't want

1949
01:50:17,800 --> 01:50:23,200
Speaker 1: it to be you know, overwhelming and debilitating of course,

1950
01:50:23,240 --> 01:50:26,920
Speaker 1: and like choosing hard is way better, of course because

1951
01:50:26,960 --> 01:50:30,439
Speaker 1: you have the option, but still consciously doing things that

1952
01:50:30,520 --> 01:50:32,599
Speaker 1: you know are going to suck, because you know there's

1953
01:50:33,600 --> 01:50:36,719
Speaker 1: perhaps some light at the end of that darkness of suck.

1954
01:50:37,560 --> 01:50:39,880
Speaker 1: You know, you know that I don't want to do this.

1955
01:50:40,000 --> 01:50:41,680
Speaker 1: I don't want to do this, but I know that

1956
01:50:41,760 --> 01:50:43,960
Speaker 1: if I do do it, I'll benefit from it because

1957
01:50:44,520 --> 01:50:48,160
Speaker 1: I'll develop understanding and skill and resilience and knowledge and awareness,

1958
01:50:48,160 --> 01:50:50,599
Speaker 1: and I'll be able to get better. But I can't

1959
01:50:50,600 --> 01:50:54,920
Speaker 1: get better if I'm always choosing safe, if every decision

1960
01:50:55,000 --> 01:50:59,000
Speaker 1: is about safety and certainty and predictability and familiarity and

1961
01:50:59,400 --> 01:51:02,920
Speaker 1: instant gratification and comfort, which it is for a lot

1962
01:51:02,960 --> 01:51:06,559
Speaker 1: of people. Well fucking good luck trying to fulfill any

1963
01:51:06,560 --> 01:51:10,800
Speaker 1: of your potential because you can't do that being comfortable.

1964
01:51:11,080 --> 01:51:13,920
Speaker 1: So yeah, I think there's definite you know, and we've

1965
01:51:13,960 --> 01:51:20,960
Speaker 1: spoken before about Huberman's AMCC and mid singulate cortext. Oh,

1966
01:51:21,080 --> 01:51:24,200
Speaker 1: let's bang on about that, shall we. It's just a

1967
01:51:24,200 --> 01:51:26,719
Speaker 1: bit of the brain everybody that when you do hard things,

1968
01:51:26,720 --> 01:51:28,960
Speaker 1: whatever the hard thing is, whether or not it's you know,

1969
01:51:29,040 --> 01:51:32,479
Speaker 1: cleaning the dishes at eleven thirty at night after a

1970
01:51:32,520 --> 01:51:34,240
Speaker 1: party and you really just want to go to bed,

1971
01:51:34,240 --> 01:51:35,840
Speaker 1: but you go, oh fuck it, and then you clean

1972
01:51:35,840 --> 01:51:37,840
Speaker 1: the dishes, you put them away, you clean the floor,

1973
01:51:38,080 --> 01:51:39,800
Speaker 1: and you really don't want to, but you do it.

1974
01:51:40,080 --> 01:51:42,200
Speaker 1: When you're doing that thing that you probably should do

1975
01:51:42,280 --> 01:51:45,240
Speaker 1: but you don't want to do, it might be getting

1976
01:51:45,280 --> 01:51:46,920
Speaker 1: up as soon as the alarm goes off and you

1977
01:51:46,960 --> 01:51:48,840
Speaker 1: don't want to, but you do it. It might be you know,

1978
01:51:48,920 --> 01:51:52,400
Speaker 1: it could be whatever, having that hard conversation that you're

1979
01:51:52,400 --> 01:51:54,519
Speaker 1: scared to have, but you just go and have it anyway.

1980
01:51:55,080 --> 01:51:57,719
Speaker 1: So there's actually a part of our brain that grows

1981
01:51:57,800 --> 01:52:01,040
Speaker 1: when we choose to lean into the the scary shit

1982
01:52:01,240 --> 01:52:03,360
Speaker 1: or the hardship. You know, I feel like.

1983
01:52:03,320 --> 01:52:05,439
Speaker 3: Maybe yours is blown up to the point where it's

1984
01:52:05,479 --> 01:52:06,880
Speaker 3: dislodged your sinuses.

1985
01:52:08,080 --> 01:52:11,599
Speaker 1: Yes, I think that's what's happened. It's blocked my right sinus.

1986
01:52:11,680 --> 01:52:14,959
Speaker 1: It's crept over the top of my fucking prefrontal cortex

1987
01:52:15,000 --> 01:52:19,200
Speaker 1: and it's making its way down. What's the next one

1988
01:52:19,240 --> 01:52:19,679
Speaker 1: on our list?

1989
01:52:20,000 --> 01:52:23,679
Speaker 4: I've made it up to number two thirty minutes this call?

1990
01:52:24,160 --> 01:52:26,160
Speaker 1: Can I say you are really inefficient?

1991
01:52:26,720 --> 01:52:29,240
Speaker 3: Sorry, I'm kidding.

1992
01:52:29,320 --> 01:52:31,640
Speaker 1: No, we love, we love well. I can't speak on

1993
01:52:31,680 --> 01:52:33,760
Speaker 1: behalf everyone, but I love just hearing your back on

1994
01:52:33,800 --> 01:52:35,880
Speaker 1: the show and banging on what's number two?

1995
01:52:36,439 --> 01:52:37,479
Speaker 4: Compare you with you?

1996
01:52:38,520 --> 01:52:40,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not a big you know. They say comparison

1997
01:52:41,040 --> 01:52:43,400
Speaker 1: is the thief of joy, and I think it's so true. Like,

1998
01:52:44,680 --> 01:52:47,400
Speaker 1: you know, there are there are occasions where I think

1999
01:52:47,439 --> 01:52:49,720
Speaker 1: we could perhaps pay attention to what someone else is

2000
01:52:49,720 --> 01:52:53,839
Speaker 1: doing it and maybe learn something from that, or maybe

2001
01:52:54,000 --> 01:52:55,920
Speaker 1: you know, go, well, he did that and him and

2002
01:52:55,960 --> 01:52:57,920
Speaker 1: I are kind of similar, so maybe I could do that.

2003
01:52:58,000 --> 01:53:02,480
Speaker 1: Maybe there's that kind of comparison, but not that internal

2004
01:53:02,800 --> 01:53:05,920
Speaker 1: kind of self judgment comparison where you look at what

2005
01:53:06,000 --> 01:53:10,559
Speaker 1: somebody else is doing and you either resent them or

2006
01:53:11,120 --> 01:53:15,599
Speaker 1: you resent yourself, or you immerse yourself in a little

2007
01:53:15,600 --> 01:53:19,160
Speaker 1: bit of self loathing because you're you're comparing two different things.

2008
01:53:19,200 --> 01:53:20,840
Speaker 1: You are not them and they are not you, and

2009
01:53:21,400 --> 01:53:25,880
Speaker 1: they don't have your genetics or talent or personality or resources,

2010
01:53:26,200 --> 01:53:29,639
Speaker 1: and you don't have theirs. So it's not it's not really,

2011
01:53:30,439 --> 01:53:32,920
Speaker 1: it's not a productive use of our energy, or our

2012
01:53:32,960 --> 01:53:36,599
Speaker 1: attention or our focus. I think, for me, the only

2013
01:53:36,680 --> 01:53:40,080
Speaker 1: healthy comparison I need to think this through. I'm sure

2014
01:53:40,080 --> 01:53:42,200
Speaker 1: there's another one, but for me right now, the only

2015
01:53:42,240 --> 01:53:46,880
Speaker 1: healthy comparison that springs to mind is me comparing me

2016
01:53:47,040 --> 01:53:49,240
Speaker 1: with me. You know how I was a year ago,

2017
01:53:49,400 --> 01:53:52,280
Speaker 1: how I am now? You know how I did this

2018
01:53:52,360 --> 01:53:55,720
Speaker 1: six months ago? Or even you know when you got

2019
01:53:55,720 --> 01:53:59,160
Speaker 1: the flu. I don't compare my flu with your flu.

2020
01:53:59,240 --> 01:54:01,639
Speaker 1: I go how I compared to Monday when I couldn't

2021
01:54:01,680 --> 01:54:03,120
Speaker 1: get out of bed and I was shit. Well now

2022
01:54:03,160 --> 01:54:06,760
Speaker 1: it's Friday, and yeah, I'm improving, I'm getting better. This

2023
01:54:06,880 --> 01:54:10,320
Speaker 1: is good. I think there are healthy comparisons and unhealthy comparisons,

2024
01:54:10,320 --> 01:54:14,320
Speaker 1: but in general terms, you know, it's like, that's why

2025
01:54:14,360 --> 01:54:17,000
Speaker 1: I think something like which is a high level form

2026
01:54:17,040 --> 01:54:21,360
Speaker 1: of comparison, but is testing in the gym, where we

2027
01:54:21,400 --> 01:54:23,120
Speaker 1: go to the gym and we get you know, a

2028
01:54:23,120 --> 01:54:26,440
Speaker 1: form of an aerobic a VO two or a SUBVO

2029
01:54:26,439 --> 01:54:29,519
Speaker 1: two max test where we're testing aerobic capacity, and we

2030
01:54:29,600 --> 01:54:32,240
Speaker 1: might test upper and lower body strength, and we might

2031
01:54:32,320 --> 01:54:35,760
Speaker 1: test a flexibility range of movement around the joints. We

2032
01:54:35,840 --> 01:54:38,920
Speaker 1: might do some balance testing. Like there's a bunch of

2033
01:54:38,960 --> 01:54:41,240
Speaker 1: testing that we can do with our body. That basically

2034
01:54:41,280 --> 01:54:44,560
Speaker 1: what it does, it gives us some baseline data. And

2035
01:54:44,600 --> 01:54:46,920
Speaker 1: then what we often do off the back of that

2036
01:54:47,000 --> 01:54:49,120
Speaker 1: is we'll go back in four weeks or eight weeks,

2037
01:54:49,200 --> 01:54:52,240
Speaker 1: or twelve weeks or six, six weeks, sixteen weeks, I

2038
01:54:52,240 --> 01:54:54,880
Speaker 1: should say, and we do the same thing. So we've

2039
01:54:54,880 --> 01:54:58,280
Speaker 1: got now the same person with the same body, albeit

2040
01:54:58,400 --> 01:55:01,200
Speaker 1: slightly modified perhaps, but the same person with the same body,

2041
01:55:01,240 --> 01:55:04,040
Speaker 1: doing the same tests, and we're getting more results. And

2042
01:55:04,080 --> 01:55:06,840
Speaker 1: so we go, well, Melissa, on day one, you did

2043
01:55:06,840 --> 01:55:09,800
Speaker 1: one push up. I'm going to be honest, it wasn't great,

2044
01:55:10,400 --> 01:55:15,200
Speaker 1: you know. And now on you know, day seventy two,

2045
01:55:15,320 --> 01:55:18,760
Speaker 1: which is twelve day eighty four, twelve sevens or eighty four.

2046
01:55:19,040 --> 01:55:22,360
Speaker 1: Twelve weeks later, you're doing seven push ups and they're

2047
01:55:22,680 --> 01:55:25,360
Speaker 1: you know, full body weight and blah blah blah. Week

2048
01:55:25,440 --> 01:55:28,880
Speaker 1: four you did two, and so we're seeing growth, and

2049
01:55:28,960 --> 01:55:31,920
Speaker 1: we're seeing oh, by the way your body compositions changed

2050
01:55:31,920 --> 01:55:33,760
Speaker 1: in the way that you wanted. It's changed. So we

2051
01:55:33,800 --> 01:55:37,440
Speaker 1: had a number for that, Now we have a new number. Also,

2052
01:55:37,560 --> 01:55:41,280
Speaker 1: your aerobic capacity is improved and you're resting. Heart rates dropped,

2053
01:55:41,280 --> 01:55:44,120
Speaker 1: and your blood pressures dropped, and your VO two max,

2054
01:55:44,160 --> 01:55:47,680
Speaker 1: which is you know, our oxygen carrying capacity has gone up,

2055
01:55:47,760 --> 01:55:50,200
Speaker 1: and all of these So I think that kind of

2056
01:55:50,400 --> 01:55:52,960
Speaker 1: comparison can be done in a really healthy way, and

2057
01:55:53,000 --> 01:55:56,840
Speaker 1: we don't need that level of expertise or scientific validation.

2058
01:55:57,000 --> 01:55:59,880
Speaker 1: We can go Hey, when I started running, or when

2059
01:55:59,880 --> 01:56:03,120
Speaker 1: I started walker, jog, walk jog, eventually run. I used

2060
01:56:03,160 --> 01:56:06,560
Speaker 1: to do this five k circuit, it took me fifty minutes,

2061
01:56:07,520 --> 01:56:11,040
Speaker 1: and now I do the five k circuit in thirty minutes.

2062
01:56:11,160 --> 01:56:13,720
Speaker 1: So I've gone from ten minute you know ks, to

2063
01:56:13,840 --> 01:56:17,480
Speaker 1: six minute ks, and I reckon, I'm going to get quicker.

2064
01:56:17,480 --> 01:56:19,720
Speaker 1: So I'm doing the same distance with the same body

2065
01:56:19,760 --> 01:56:22,360
Speaker 1: at a different speed. And not only am I doing

2066
01:56:22,400 --> 01:56:25,120
Speaker 1: it quicker. I'm finding it easier than when I did

2067
01:56:25,160 --> 01:56:28,680
Speaker 1: it slower, and that's not because the distance has changed

2068
01:56:28,760 --> 01:56:31,520
Speaker 1: or the course has changed, but rather I've changed. So

2069
01:56:31,560 --> 01:56:35,360
Speaker 1: that kind of comparison is a healthy comparison, probably the

2070
01:56:35,360 --> 01:56:37,240
Speaker 1: only one we should kind of engage in.

2071
01:56:38,240 --> 01:56:39,080
Speaker 4: Do you think a.

2072
01:56:39,120 --> 01:56:41,839
Speaker 3: Lot of that also has to do with our intention

2073
01:56:42,120 --> 01:56:45,080
Speaker 3: behind it, Like obviously with what you're saying, there is

2074
01:56:45,080 --> 01:56:48,840
Speaker 3: comparing us to us, but even if even if we

2075
01:56:48,960 --> 01:56:54,040
Speaker 3: do in some way compare us to others, but from

2076
01:56:54,080 --> 01:56:56,840
Speaker 3: an aspirational point of view or to use it as

2077
01:56:56,840 --> 01:57:00,560
Speaker 3: a motivation of Okay, that might be possible if I,

2078
01:57:00,840 --> 01:57:03,840
Speaker 3: you know, compare me right now to where I could

2079
01:57:03,920 --> 01:57:06,720
Speaker 3: be in say, two years time kind of thing. Using

2080
01:57:06,720 --> 01:57:11,080
Speaker 3: that is more of a motivation or an aspiration as

2081
01:57:11,080 --> 01:57:14,720
Speaker 3: opposed to something negative in that oh, you know, why

2082
01:57:14,720 --> 01:57:17,080
Speaker 3: do they have this? Or what you know, why are

2083
01:57:17,120 --> 01:57:19,360
Speaker 3: they there in their lives and I'm here kind of thing.

2084
01:57:20,080 --> 01:57:23,120
Speaker 1: One hundred percent that's a good differentiation and a good distinction,

2085
01:57:23,280 --> 01:57:27,120
Speaker 1: And I think I think that's more paying attention to

2086
01:57:28,360 --> 01:57:32,640
Speaker 1: what people are doing, being creating, changing who are somewhat

2087
01:57:32,680 --> 01:57:35,840
Speaker 1: similar to us. You know, So when I see another

2088
01:57:35,920 --> 01:57:39,640
Speaker 1: dude who's about my age, and you know, he's just

2089
01:57:39,840 --> 01:57:43,520
Speaker 1: climbed fucking Everest or something. I take note. I go, ah,

2090
01:57:43,600 --> 01:57:46,840
Speaker 1: he's my age and he just climbed Mount Everest. I'm like,

2091
01:57:48,200 --> 01:57:51,480
Speaker 1: I don't go fuck that guy. I go, oh, Wow,

2092
01:57:51,560 --> 01:57:54,600
Speaker 1: that dude's a stud. I wonder if given the right

2093
01:57:54,680 --> 01:57:58,760
Speaker 1: circumstances preparation conditioning, I wonder if I could do that.

2094
01:57:58,800 --> 01:58:01,640
Speaker 1: And that's not something I'm interested in, but definitely if

2095
01:58:01,640 --> 01:58:05,240
Speaker 1: I was, i'd maybe I would use that guy as

2096
01:58:05,240 --> 01:58:08,400
Speaker 1: a source of inspiration. So definitely, I think we can

2097
01:58:08,520 --> 01:58:13,440
Speaker 1: use it in that context. However, I do not know

2098
01:58:13,520 --> 01:58:17,160
Speaker 1: the answer to this, but I would speculate that the

2099
01:58:17,160 --> 01:58:21,080
Speaker 1: majority of comparison off the back of social media is

2100
01:58:21,120 --> 01:58:24,000
Speaker 1: more to the unhealthy end of the scale, Like I think,

2101
01:58:24,520 --> 01:58:28,240
Speaker 1: you know, literally comparison culture. You know, what we talk

2102
01:58:28,280 --> 01:58:30,640
Speaker 1: about more broadly these days. Add ain't a good thing

2103
01:58:30,800 --> 01:58:34,240
Speaker 1: that what we're talking about there. But again, with everything,

2104
01:58:35,400 --> 01:58:39,120
Speaker 1: it depends depends how we do it, depends why we

2105
01:58:39,160 --> 01:58:42,680
Speaker 1: do it, you know, it depends like anything. You know,

2106
01:58:42,800 --> 01:58:45,800
Speaker 1: drinking water is healthy until you drink ten liters a

2107
01:58:45,880 --> 01:58:48,080
Speaker 1: day and then it's going to kill you because it

2108
01:58:48,160 --> 01:58:51,280
Speaker 1: dilutes things in your blood that shouldn't be diluted, and

2109
01:58:51,280 --> 01:58:54,320
Speaker 1: you get a thing called hypenetremia where all of your

2110
01:58:55,560 --> 01:58:58,360
Speaker 1: you know, minerals and salts get deleted and your blood

2111
01:58:58,360 --> 01:59:02,480
Speaker 1: pressure drops and people literally from being overhydrated. Well, obviously

2112
01:59:02,520 --> 01:59:05,520
Speaker 1: that's an extreme case, but it's still people drink and warm.

2113
01:59:06,080 --> 01:59:09,360
Speaker 1: It's sometimes it's about what we do with the thing.

2114
01:59:09,520 --> 01:59:13,480
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's about the dose. You know. It's like, I've

2115
01:59:13,480 --> 01:59:16,120
Speaker 1: shared on this quite openly before, and I don't drink

2116
01:59:16,160 --> 01:59:19,360
Speaker 1: or smoke. Every now and then. Maybe five times a year,

2117
01:59:19,400 --> 01:59:23,920
Speaker 1: I'll have a two milligram nicorette gum because it kind

2118
01:59:23,920 --> 01:59:25,560
Speaker 1: of lights up my brain for an hour or two

2119
01:59:25,600 --> 01:59:27,640
Speaker 1: and I'm like, this is fucking terrific. But I won't

2120
01:59:27,680 --> 01:59:30,440
Speaker 1: have another one for like three months, and I'll only

2121
01:59:30,520 --> 01:59:33,560
Speaker 1: do it if if I need a little bit of

2122
01:59:33,560 --> 01:59:36,680
Speaker 1: a cognitive boost. But would I recommend any listeners to

2123
01:59:36,720 --> 01:59:39,760
Speaker 1: do that. Nope, nope. I'm just telling you what I

2124
01:59:39,840 --> 01:59:44,200
Speaker 1: do every now and then. But it's like it's again,

2125
01:59:44,280 --> 01:59:46,520
Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, well that, oh, I guess that's okay. Craig,

2126
01:59:46,640 --> 01:59:50,520
Speaker 1: Like two milligrams of nicotine four times a year is

2127
01:59:50,520 --> 01:59:53,200
Speaker 1: probably not going to kill you. But twenty milligrams of

2128
01:59:53,280 --> 01:59:57,360
Speaker 1: nicotine every day is a different story. So it comes

2129
01:59:57,360 --> 01:59:59,320
Speaker 1: down and people go, I'm so surprised that. No, I

2130
01:59:59,360 --> 02:00:07,080
Speaker 1: don't confuse nicotine with cigarettes. Yes, most firstly, I'm not

2131
02:00:07,120 --> 02:00:10,040
Speaker 1: saying nicotine is great. I'm saying most of the shit

2132
02:00:10,120 --> 02:00:14,120
Speaker 1: that kills you in cigarettes isn't the nicotine. Albeit, nicotine

2133
02:00:14,280 --> 02:00:17,600
Speaker 1: is addictive, but you know they are. Let's not have

2134
02:00:17,680 --> 02:00:21,240
Speaker 1: that conversation. But yes, let's move on to the Yeah,

2135
02:00:21,280 --> 02:00:23,920
Speaker 1: let's do that before I get fucking sidetracked and back

2136
02:00:24,000 --> 02:00:26,720
Speaker 1: myself into a cognitive and verbal cul de sac that

2137
02:00:26,800 --> 02:00:27,560
Speaker 1: I just did.

2138
02:00:29,760 --> 02:00:32,040
Speaker 4: Okay, next we have start unready.

2139
02:00:32,840 --> 02:00:38,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, And all I mean by that is, I guess

2140
02:00:38,120 --> 02:00:40,720
Speaker 1: I'm speaking to the fact that a lot of people

2141
02:00:43,000 --> 02:00:46,320
Speaker 1: spend their life waiting for the mystical, mythical, magical right time.

2142
02:00:46,360 --> 02:00:49,360
Speaker 1: It's not the right time, it's not the right this,

2143
02:00:49,560 --> 02:00:51,760
Speaker 1: or it's not the right that. And look, that is

2144
02:00:51,800 --> 02:00:56,560
Speaker 1: true sometimes, but also and in other news, sometimes that's bullshit.

2145
02:00:57,520 --> 02:01:01,200
Speaker 1: You know. Sometimes art's not a good time is code

2146
02:01:01,240 --> 02:01:04,040
Speaker 1: for I'm scared and I don't want to start. And

2147
02:01:04,520 --> 02:01:07,560
Speaker 1: I understand that too. I've done that too. Not a

2148
02:01:07,600 --> 02:01:12,280
Speaker 1: good time, my ankle sore are that whatever the it's

2149
02:01:12,280 --> 02:01:15,320
Speaker 1: coming up to holidays, it's this And I'm not saying

2150
02:01:15,360 --> 02:01:19,840
Speaker 1: we should willing nearly just dive into things recklessly. However,

2151
02:01:21,120 --> 02:01:24,520
Speaker 1: if you are one of the people who have been

2152
02:01:24,680 --> 02:01:28,640
Speaker 1: almost starting things for ten years and you're never ready,

2153
02:01:29,760 --> 02:01:33,920
Speaker 1: you know what some people are really saying is, I'll

2154
02:01:33,920 --> 02:01:36,200
Speaker 1: start when I'm ready. They're really saying I'll start when

2155
02:01:36,240 --> 02:01:39,840
Speaker 1: I'm not scared. I'll start when it's convenient, I'll start

2156
02:01:39,840 --> 02:01:42,160
Speaker 1: when it's easy, I'll start when it's comfortable, I'll start

2157
02:01:42,200 --> 02:01:45,080
Speaker 1: when it's risk free. Because the truth is the thing

2158
02:01:45,120 --> 02:01:47,280
Speaker 1: that most of us need to start to really create

2159
02:01:47,360 --> 02:01:52,120
Speaker 1: shift is usually fucking hard. And the dichotomy is, on

2160
02:01:52,160 --> 02:01:54,800
Speaker 1: the one hand, we want change and on the other

2161
02:01:54,840 --> 02:01:58,200
Speaker 1: hand we want to be comfortable, though, and change and

2162
02:01:58,920 --> 02:02:03,120
Speaker 1: comfort don't go to get So it's the willingness to go, yeah,

2163
02:02:03,160 --> 02:02:06,080
Speaker 1: do I feel totally ready? Do I feel mentally and

2164
02:02:06,120 --> 02:02:08,600
Speaker 1: emotionally and no, of course, of course it's going to

2165
02:02:08,680 --> 02:02:13,400
Speaker 1: suck a bit, you know, And let's separate that kind

2166
02:02:13,440 --> 02:02:17,480
Speaker 1: of process from you know, diving into something that's reckless

2167
02:02:17,480 --> 02:02:19,640
Speaker 1: and dangerous. Of course, we're not suggesting.

2168
02:02:19,280 --> 02:02:20,480
Speaker 4: That with that.

2169
02:02:20,520 --> 02:02:23,000
Speaker 3: A couple of things actually come to mind, and I

2170
02:02:23,040 --> 02:02:24,840
Speaker 3: don't mean to keep tying it back to you.

2171
02:02:25,080 --> 02:02:28,000
Speaker 4: Which one is that something.

2172
02:02:27,680 --> 02:02:30,520
Speaker 3: That kind of came up throughout the process was starting

2173
02:02:30,520 --> 02:02:33,240
Speaker 3: with like a draft zero kind of thing, because I

2174
02:02:33,240 --> 02:02:36,200
Speaker 3: think a lot of the fear of oh, well, I've

2175
02:02:36,240 --> 02:02:38,160
Speaker 3: got to start, but not only do I have to start,

2176
02:02:38,360 --> 02:02:41,400
Speaker 3: it's starting with kind of the end product in mind,

2177
02:02:42,040 --> 02:02:45,360
Speaker 3: and therefore expecting to go from nothing to the end

2178
02:02:45,400 --> 02:02:49,600
Speaker 3: product in one go without any of iteration, without any

2179
02:02:49,640 --> 02:02:52,600
Speaker 3: form of and whether that's you know, writing a paper.

2180
02:02:52,680 --> 02:02:55,760
Speaker 4: Or changing a routine or you know.

2181
02:02:55,720 --> 02:02:58,720
Speaker 3: Starting a different form of exercise, I feel like that's

2182
02:02:59,320 --> 02:03:01,240
Speaker 3: just something that's kind of become a little bit more

2183
02:03:01,240 --> 02:03:04,160
Speaker 3: apparent for me in recent years of No, you don't

2184
02:03:04,160 --> 02:03:06,040
Speaker 3: have to start with the the you know.

2185
02:03:05,960 --> 02:03:07,800
Speaker 4: The intention of it being the perfect.

2186
02:03:07,560 --> 02:03:10,400
Speaker 3: End product right now, it's just get something on paper,

2187
02:03:10,560 --> 02:03:13,880
Speaker 3: or just start with the exercise and then kind of

2188
02:03:14,000 --> 02:03:15,720
Speaker 3: iterate as you go.

2189
02:03:16,960 --> 02:03:19,200
Speaker 4: And yeah, I think that's been a real light bulb moment.

2190
02:03:19,240 --> 02:03:21,560
Speaker 3: I know for me, I know it sounds obvious, but

2191
02:03:22,360 --> 02:03:24,960
Speaker 3: as somebody who's probably innately.

2192
02:03:26,280 --> 02:03:28,680
Speaker 4: Driven to be quite type A.

2193
02:03:29,520 --> 02:03:32,640
Speaker 1: It may also known as also known as OCD, as

2194
02:03:32,800 --> 02:03:35,760
Speaker 1: fuck let's be honest, A bad draft is better than

2195
02:03:35,760 --> 02:03:42,800
Speaker 1: no draft, Yes, like not outstanding workouts better than the couch,

2196
02:03:43,000 --> 02:03:45,840
Speaker 1: as long as you're not injuring yourself. I mean, yeah,

2197
02:03:45,880 --> 02:03:49,160
Speaker 1: you're exactly right. And this ties into the you know

2198
02:03:49,240 --> 02:03:51,280
Speaker 1: that my thing that I bang on about, and it's

2199
02:03:51,280 --> 02:03:53,320
Speaker 1: a metaphor, it's not literal, or it can be literal,

2200
02:03:53,440 --> 02:03:55,680
Speaker 1: is you can't become a black belt without being a

2201
02:03:55,680 --> 02:03:56,240
Speaker 1: white belt.

2202
02:03:56,480 --> 02:03:56,680
Speaker 4: Yep.

2203
02:03:57,040 --> 02:04:00,120
Speaker 1: So when you're a white belt, you're bad. Every One

2204
02:04:00,280 --> 02:04:03,320
Speaker 1: is better than you. Today is day one. Put on

2205
02:04:03,360 --> 02:04:08,560
Speaker 1: your white belt. You're the fucking outlier. That's okay, one

2206
02:04:08,640 --> 02:04:10,760
Speaker 1: day you won't be. But right now you have no knowledge,

2207
02:04:10,800 --> 02:04:15,520
Speaker 1: no understanding, no specific fitness to that art form, You

2208
02:04:15,560 --> 02:04:19,320
Speaker 1: have no skill, you have no knowledge, and right now

2209
02:04:19,360 --> 02:04:22,600
Speaker 1: you're the worst in the room. And guess what. That's exciting.

2210
02:04:23,680 --> 02:04:25,240
Speaker 1: What if we turn that round and go, guess what,

2211
02:04:25,400 --> 02:04:27,440
Speaker 1: you are the one person in the room with the

2212
02:04:27,480 --> 02:04:31,480
Speaker 1: most potential for growth. Yeah right, we just flipped that

2213
02:04:31,560 --> 02:04:34,720
Speaker 1: little bit right. We're like, hey, dude, you've got more

2214
02:04:34,800 --> 02:04:38,320
Speaker 1: scope for improvement over the next twelve months than everyone

2215
02:04:38,360 --> 02:04:43,160
Speaker 1: else in this room because you're zero. You're zero, and

2216
02:04:43,200 --> 02:04:47,160
Speaker 1: they're already somewhere between three and ten. You're zero in

2217
02:04:47,200 --> 02:04:50,360
Speaker 1: a year, you're going to be three. Yes, that's a

2218
02:04:50,440 --> 02:04:53,520
Speaker 1: massive improvement. But the dude who's eight in a year

2219
02:04:53,760 --> 02:04:55,960
Speaker 1: or the dude at they're not going to be ten,

2220
02:04:56,280 --> 02:04:59,760
Speaker 1: they're going to be eight point one. They're going to

2221
02:04:59,800 --> 02:05:04,320
Speaker 1: have improved point one. You're going to improve three and

2222
02:05:04,400 --> 02:05:07,080
Speaker 1: So this is reframing. And this is, by the way,

2223
02:05:07,120 --> 02:05:09,240
Speaker 1: how do I get good at stuff that I'm bad at?

2224
02:05:09,280 --> 02:05:11,680
Speaker 1: Will you start when you're bad at it? You start

2225
02:05:11,800 --> 02:05:16,080
Speaker 1: unready you go okay, So this is going to suck.

2226
02:05:16,520 --> 02:05:19,600
Speaker 1: It's really just as we said before. It's accepting the price,

2227
02:05:20,080 --> 02:05:22,360
Speaker 1: like what's the price? The prices I'll get humiliated, the

2228
02:05:22,360 --> 02:05:24,880
Speaker 1: prices i'll have, I'll probably get an injury or two.

2229
02:05:24,920 --> 02:05:27,240
Speaker 1: If we're talking about the dojo example, the price is

2230
02:05:28,120 --> 02:05:31,160
Speaker 1: I'll look silly. The price is, you know, a self

2231
02:05:31,240 --> 02:05:34,440
Speaker 1: esteem might take a fucking battering. And okay, are you

2232
02:05:34,520 --> 02:05:37,000
Speaker 1: okay with all of that? I am cool? Off you

2233
02:05:37,080 --> 02:05:41,240
Speaker 1: go boom the end. Stop fucking overthinking it, Stop stop

2234
02:05:41,320 --> 02:05:45,440
Speaker 1: having to be okay, stop having to look good, stop

2235
02:05:45,480 --> 02:05:49,440
Speaker 1: having you know, or stop wanting people to think highly

2236
02:05:49,480 --> 02:05:51,960
Speaker 1: of you all the time. Fuck it. Just do the process.

2237
02:05:52,680 --> 02:05:53,760
Speaker 1: Just do the process.

2238
02:05:54,160 --> 02:05:54,520
Speaker 4: Stop.

2239
02:05:55,000 --> 02:05:58,160
Speaker 1: How hilarious is it that we worry about what people

2240
02:05:58,240 --> 02:06:02,000
Speaker 1: we don't even know. People who don't know us, understand us,

2241
02:06:02,000 --> 02:06:04,440
Speaker 1: have never met us, they do not love us, yet

2242
02:06:04,440 --> 02:06:08,520
Speaker 1: we worry about their opinion. What a fucking massive waste

2243
02:06:08,520 --> 02:06:11,960
Speaker 1: of emotional energy. You know, have I ever done it?

2244
02:06:11,960 --> 02:06:16,880
Speaker 1: Of course, this is the human experience, and it's like, oh,

2245
02:06:16,920 --> 02:06:19,000
Speaker 1: how do I overcome that? Well, you don't overcome it

2246
02:06:19,080 --> 02:06:21,200
Speaker 1: by sitting home worrying about what people are going to

2247
02:06:21,240 --> 02:06:23,800
Speaker 1: think if you turn up to the gym. Yes, I

2248
02:06:23,800 --> 02:06:26,520
Speaker 1: mean I know hundreds of people who won't go to

2249
02:06:26,560 --> 02:06:29,480
Speaker 1: the gym because they think they're too fat. And that's

2250
02:06:29,520 --> 02:06:33,280
Speaker 1: not my words, that's their words. It's like, oh, I

2251
02:06:33,320 --> 02:06:36,640
Speaker 1: can't I need to lose weight. I'm like, ah, do

2252
02:06:36,680 --> 02:06:38,960
Speaker 1: you understand what a gym's for? And by the way,

2253
02:06:39,640 --> 02:06:41,680
Speaker 1: you're not too fat, you're not too by the way,

2254
02:06:41,720 --> 02:06:45,240
Speaker 1: you're perfect, but also you know or you're perfectly ready

2255
02:06:45,240 --> 02:06:49,200
Speaker 1: to go. But also here's the thing you don't think about.

2256
02:06:49,280 --> 02:06:51,720
Speaker 1: And if anyone knows this thing, I'm about to say,

2257
02:06:51,760 --> 02:06:55,480
Speaker 1: it's fucking me right. Nobody gives a fuck about you

2258
02:06:55,560 --> 02:06:59,160
Speaker 1: in the gym, Like, hey, have a look at them.

2259
02:06:59,200 --> 02:07:01,280
Speaker 1: They're either looking at their phone or looking at it

2260
02:07:01,320 --> 02:07:04,360
Speaker 1: themselves in the mirror. They don't give a fuck about

2261
02:07:04,360 --> 02:07:07,000
Speaker 1: you sitting on the exercise bike sweating your ass off,

2262
02:07:07,880 --> 02:07:12,520
Speaker 1: so fucking don't worry about it, you know. And if

2263
02:07:12,560 --> 02:07:16,160
Speaker 1: one of them did, Oh, here's an idea, who cares?

2264
02:07:17,360 --> 02:07:22,880
Speaker 1: Like stop giving people your power, Like, stop handing over

2265
02:07:22,960 --> 02:07:25,680
Speaker 1: your own sovereignty, in your own self esteem and your

2266
02:07:25,720 --> 02:07:29,160
Speaker 1: own fucking self worth to that bloke up there that

2267
02:07:29,280 --> 02:07:32,560
Speaker 1: doesn't even notice you're in the gym. That's what we do.

2268
02:07:32,600 --> 02:07:34,400
Speaker 1: This is all shit that goes on. And oh no,

2269
02:07:34,560 --> 02:07:37,400
Speaker 1: it's I'm not comfortable in that place. Guess what. It's

2270
02:07:37,440 --> 02:07:40,600
Speaker 1: not about the place. It could it be about you.

2271
02:07:41,600 --> 02:07:44,320
Speaker 1: And of course sometimes if somebody has been bullied or whatever,

2272
02:07:44,320 --> 02:07:47,480
Speaker 1: I get that, But in general terms, oh, gym's don't.

2273
02:07:47,920 --> 02:07:50,480
Speaker 1: A lady said to me recently, gyms don't work for me. Okay,

2274
02:07:50,520 --> 02:07:53,200
Speaker 1: what does that even mean? Oh, they don't work for me.

2275
02:07:53,280 --> 02:07:57,080
Speaker 1: I'm like, well I don't What does that mean? She goes, Oh, no,

2276
02:07:57,240 --> 02:08:00,840
Speaker 1: it's not my thing. I'm like, well, here's here's a thing.

2277
02:08:00,920 --> 02:08:04,440
Speaker 1: You're sitting there asking me how to get in shape.

2278
02:08:05,240 --> 02:08:08,760
Speaker 1: Now I'm telling you how to get in shape. I'm

2279
02:08:08,760 --> 02:08:12,680
Speaker 1: also telling you they've invented these places called gyms, and

2280
02:08:12,840 --> 02:08:15,160
Speaker 1: for about fifteen bucks a week or two bucks a day,

2281
02:08:15,720 --> 02:08:18,920
Speaker 1: you can go to these gyms, these places twenty four

2282
02:08:19,240 --> 02:08:22,520
Speaker 1: seven and you can have a million dollars worth of

2283
02:08:22,560 --> 02:08:26,160
Speaker 1: equipment at your disposal for two bucks a day. And

2284
02:08:26,200 --> 02:08:29,840
Speaker 1: by the way, you don't need to enjoy it. You

2285
02:08:30,120 --> 02:08:33,280
Speaker 1: need to love it, like this whole rule. Oh, if

2286
02:08:33,360 --> 02:08:35,840
Speaker 1: I'm not enjoying it, I'm not doing it. Well, fucking

2287
02:08:35,880 --> 02:08:37,760
Speaker 1: good luck with life, because there's a lot of shit

2288
02:08:37,800 --> 02:08:42,080
Speaker 1: you're not going to enjoy. Like hopefully, if there's two

2289
02:08:42,120 --> 02:08:45,160
Speaker 1: options and they produce the same outcome on the same outcome,

2290
02:08:45,200 --> 02:08:47,440
Speaker 1: well sure, let's choose the one that's more enjoyable. I'm

2291
02:08:47,480 --> 02:08:50,040
Speaker 1: with you. But the bottom line is the reality is,

2292
02:08:50,200 --> 02:08:52,960
Speaker 1: initially anyway, there'll be things that you don't enjoy. And

2293
02:08:53,000 --> 02:08:55,120
Speaker 1: guess what, over time, when you build confidence, when you

2294
02:08:55,120 --> 02:08:57,560
Speaker 1: build fitness, when you build strength, when your body changes,

2295
02:08:57,600 --> 02:09:01,200
Speaker 1: when your mind changes, or whatever the er, whatever the environment.

2296
02:09:01,240 --> 02:09:03,240
Speaker 1: But over time you'll change and then the thing that

2297
02:09:03,320 --> 02:09:06,240
Speaker 1: you didn't in. Oh, so many people I know have

2298
02:09:06,280 --> 02:09:08,200
Speaker 1: gone from mom' not a gym person to they're a

2299
02:09:08,240 --> 02:09:11,120
Speaker 1: fucking gym junkie, and now they're annoying the shit out

2300
02:09:11,120 --> 02:09:14,080
Speaker 1: of everybody talking about the gym. It wasn't about the

2301
02:09:14,160 --> 02:09:16,960
Speaker 1: gym at all. It was about their thinking, you know,

2302
02:09:17,440 --> 02:09:19,680
Speaker 1: I could never, I could never. Well, no, you can.

2303
02:09:20,400 --> 02:09:23,480
Speaker 1: You just don't want to or you're scared. All right,

2304
02:09:23,520 --> 02:09:26,000
Speaker 1: let's plow on the next one.

2305
02:09:26,800 --> 02:09:28,120
Speaker 4: Show ugly you.

2306
02:09:28,480 --> 02:09:32,760
Speaker 1: Oh, show ugly you. Like I just love, And by

2307
02:09:32,760 --> 02:09:38,360
Speaker 1: that I mean, like, stop trying to be as I

2308
02:09:38,400 --> 02:09:42,520
Speaker 1: said with Tiff, the persona, not the person that's like like,

2309
02:09:42,640 --> 02:09:46,560
Speaker 1: not the show, you know, not the brand. Like I think,

2310
02:09:46,600 --> 02:09:48,560
Speaker 1: and I've mentioned this too many times, but I just

2311
02:09:48,600 --> 02:09:51,840
Speaker 1: think there's a liberation in sharing our flaws and fuck

2312
02:09:51,920 --> 02:09:56,280
Speaker 1: ups and failures, wrinkles and backfat with the world. You know.

2313
02:09:56,800 --> 02:10:00,760
Speaker 1: It's like, I mean, think about this, like talking about

2314
02:10:00,800 --> 02:10:05,120
Speaker 1: showing up Ugly I reckon thirty times in the last

2315
02:10:05,160 --> 02:10:09,160
Speaker 1: eight years. I've literally spoken about my shitting on this show.

2316
02:10:10,280 --> 02:10:13,040
Speaker 1: How to have a great shit, you know, how to

2317
02:10:13,080 --> 02:10:16,200
Speaker 1: optimize one's anatomy when one's sitting there with a squatty

2318
02:10:16,240 --> 02:10:19,080
Speaker 1: potty that I'm not sponsored by, by the way, but hey,

2319
02:10:19,160 --> 02:10:22,920
Speaker 1: feel free to reach out squatty potty and that my.

2320
02:10:23,000 --> 02:10:26,240
Speaker 3: Friend, is why you've had not one, but two of

2321
02:10:26,320 --> 02:10:29,720
Speaker 3: those brands approached you in the last week. Have I

2322
02:10:29,720 --> 02:10:33,520
Speaker 3: haven't told you about the second one yet, but yes, oh.

2323
02:10:32,880 --> 02:10:35,760
Speaker 1: Well, what don't I know these things? But anyway, but

2324
02:10:35,840 --> 02:10:37,880
Speaker 1: what I mean is, it's like, I think it's so

2325
02:10:38,040 --> 02:10:40,880
Speaker 1: funny that people I understand it, by the way, but

2326
02:10:40,920 --> 02:10:43,800
Speaker 1: I'm like, surely there's someone else that listens to this

2327
02:10:43,920 --> 02:10:48,200
Speaker 1: show that shits. Surely there's another shitter out there. Surely

2328
02:10:48,280 --> 02:10:50,760
Speaker 1: I am not the only one. And by the way,

2329
02:10:50,920 --> 02:10:55,560
Speaker 1: surely some people get constipated and having a good morning

2330
02:10:55,640 --> 02:11:01,000
Speaker 1: kind of evacuation is not always easy for them. I know,

2331
02:11:01,760 --> 02:11:04,320
Speaker 1: I've got a bit of insight. Let's talk about it,

2332
02:11:04,600 --> 02:11:06,320
Speaker 1: you know. And I don't think every show. And I

2333
02:11:06,360 --> 02:11:08,200
Speaker 1: know right now some people are going, oh my god,

2334
02:11:08,240 --> 02:11:12,720
Speaker 1: this is disgusting. I'm turning off. Sure sure, Brian turn off,

2335
02:11:13,320 --> 02:11:16,280
Speaker 1: Diane turn off. It's all good. I shouldn't say that,

2336
02:11:16,280 --> 02:11:18,680
Speaker 1: because then people I love Diane's and I love Brian,

2337
02:11:18,800 --> 02:11:22,120
Speaker 1: so apologies. But I mean that, you know, just being

2338
02:11:22,160 --> 02:11:24,480
Speaker 1: able to show up and being whatever you are, and

2339
02:11:24,480 --> 02:11:26,640
Speaker 1: whether or not that's you know, the best version of

2340
02:11:26,680 --> 02:11:29,600
Speaker 1: you or the ugly version. I don't mean physically ugly.

2341
02:11:29,720 --> 02:11:32,960
Speaker 1: I mean where you're just not trying to present this image,

2342
02:11:33,920 --> 02:11:36,640
Speaker 1: you know so, And if you can turn up just

2343
02:11:36,680 --> 02:11:40,120
Speaker 1: being raw and real and then inverted commas ugly and

2344
02:11:40,200 --> 02:11:44,000
Speaker 1: people can accept you and love you and connect with

2345
02:11:44,120 --> 02:11:47,120
Speaker 1: you in that state, then you don't need to worry

2346
02:11:47,120 --> 02:11:51,240
Speaker 1: about dragging around this fucking persona with you everywhere everywhere.

2347
02:11:51,280 --> 02:11:55,280
Speaker 1: That's exhausting. Right next one, I'm ready.

2348
02:11:55,760 --> 02:11:57,000
Speaker 4: Can't get more talent?

2349
02:11:57,720 --> 02:12:00,920
Speaker 1: Yes, I know that's an odd thing to say, but

2350
02:12:01,360 --> 02:12:03,680
Speaker 1: you know, we can develop skill. We can build skill,

2351
02:12:03,720 --> 02:12:07,000
Speaker 1: we can build fitness, we can build strength, we can

2352
02:12:07,080 --> 02:12:09,640
Speaker 1: learn to sing better, we can learn to paint better,

2353
02:12:10,280 --> 02:12:17,000
Speaker 1: we can learn to optimize things. But I feel like

2354
02:12:17,320 --> 02:12:20,200
Speaker 1: I say that a lot. It's been my experience that

2355
02:12:20,920 --> 02:12:23,040
Speaker 1: a lot of people waste a lot of their talent,

2356
02:12:23,440 --> 02:12:27,560
Speaker 1: you know, let's talent, potential, innate capacity to be able

2357
02:12:27,600 --> 02:12:31,600
Speaker 1: to do something amazing. And it's not that they don't

2358
02:12:31,640 --> 02:12:36,240
Speaker 1: have the capacity for greatness or success or breakthroughs. That's

2359
02:12:36,280 --> 02:12:38,000
Speaker 1: not that they don't have that. It's not that they

2360
02:12:38,040 --> 02:12:40,960
Speaker 1: don't have the talent or the potential to be able

2361
02:12:41,000 --> 02:12:45,360
Speaker 1: to succeed and create something spectacular. The problem is not

2362
02:12:45,480 --> 02:12:48,120
Speaker 1: so much that as it is, they're thinking about that

2363
02:12:48,840 --> 02:12:51,320
Speaker 1: their self talk. I'm shit, I couldn't do that. I've

2364
02:12:51,320 --> 02:12:54,120
Speaker 1: got no talent, I'm not creative. I couldn't go to

2365
02:12:54,160 --> 02:12:57,360
Speaker 1: a gym, i couldn't run. There's all of these stories,

2366
02:12:57,400 --> 02:13:01,720
Speaker 1: there's all of these intertwined stories that are intertwined with

2367
02:13:01,800 --> 02:13:06,560
Speaker 1: beliefs that they become the prison. Your hurdle is not

2368
02:13:06,720 --> 02:13:11,080
Speaker 1: your talent. The obstacle is not your potential. The obstacle

2369
02:13:11,160 --> 02:13:14,320
Speaker 1: is your thinking, you know. And when our constant in

2370
02:13:14,400 --> 02:13:18,440
Speaker 1: a dialogue is, you know, somewhere between I don't think

2371
02:13:18,480 --> 02:13:22,240
Speaker 1: I could and I'm complete shit, I definitely could. We

2372
02:13:22,320 --> 02:13:24,360
Speaker 1: need to recognize that for what that is, and that

2373
02:13:24,440 --> 02:13:27,040
Speaker 1: is just a story. And of course, you know, we

2374
02:13:27,080 --> 02:13:31,240
Speaker 1: are not our capacity is not limitless. Of course there's

2375
02:13:31,240 --> 02:13:35,640
Speaker 1: a limit to what we can do. But I haven't

2376
02:13:35,680 --> 02:13:40,280
Speaker 1: met too many people who I think if ten is

2377
02:13:40,320 --> 02:13:44,520
Speaker 1: our limit, our individual ten, I don't think I've met

2378
02:13:44,520 --> 02:13:48,200
Speaker 1: too many people who are up near ten. And that's well,

2379
02:13:48,280 --> 02:13:51,880
Speaker 1: that might sound like criticism, it's actually a compliment because

2380
02:13:51,920 --> 02:13:54,640
Speaker 1: I just think people have got way more ability than

2381
02:13:54,640 --> 02:13:59,280
Speaker 1: they think. Yes, you know, way more ability. A quick

2382
02:13:59,320 --> 02:14:02,360
Speaker 1: story which I've shared five times. I had a lady

2383
02:14:02,400 --> 02:14:05,120
Speaker 1: called doesn't matter, but an older lady that was one

2384
02:14:05,120 --> 02:14:08,840
Speaker 1: of my first clients ever. And you've heard this story.

2385
02:14:08,920 --> 02:14:11,320
Speaker 1: She came to my first ever studio, which was little

2386
02:14:11,320 --> 02:14:16,720
Speaker 1: fifteen hundred square foot studio nine ninety above another a

2387
02:14:16,800 --> 02:14:20,960
Speaker 1: retail business, and she walked in with a cane basket

2388
02:14:21,280 --> 02:14:24,600
Speaker 1: because she'd been shopping. She was chubbs, she was gorgeous,

2389
02:14:24,680 --> 02:14:28,240
Speaker 1: she was irish, she had the most beautiful voice. She's like,

2390
02:14:28,320 --> 02:14:30,160
Speaker 1: I just wanted to fucking hug her, which would have

2391
02:14:30,200 --> 02:14:33,080
Speaker 1: been weird, weird as soon as she walked up, she

2392
02:14:33,120 --> 02:14:35,000
Speaker 1: walked up the stairs, because I think it said on

2393
02:14:35,080 --> 02:14:38,480
Speaker 1: my door something like Craig Harper Fitness Consultant. This was

2394
02:14:38,560 --> 02:14:40,560
Speaker 1: before the Harpers brand. I was doing it. I was

2395
02:14:40,600 --> 02:14:44,680
Speaker 1: training people. I had a studio, but I due to

2396
02:14:44,800 --> 02:14:49,040
Speaker 1: some comp not complications, but some restrictions by the council,

2397
02:14:49,720 --> 02:14:51,480
Speaker 1: like you weren't allowed to open a gym, but you

2398
02:14:51,480 --> 02:14:55,480
Speaker 1: could have a consultancy. I'm like, okay, so what if

2399
02:14:55,520 --> 02:14:58,400
Speaker 1: I fill it with gym equipment and I call a consultancy.

2400
02:14:58,480 --> 02:15:02,080
Speaker 1: They're like, yep, great, ID I'm like, fucking hell. I

2401
02:15:02,200 --> 02:15:04,320
Speaker 1: might not be the sharpest tool in the shed. But

2402
02:15:04,400 --> 02:15:09,160
Speaker 1: you blokes are fucking idiots, right, so okay, so we'll

2403
02:15:09,160 --> 02:15:12,280
Speaker 1: call it anyway. She came in and she saw me,

2404
02:15:13,040 --> 02:15:15,400
Speaker 1: and she saw the gym and she was like, fuck this,

2405
02:15:15,640 --> 02:15:17,280
Speaker 1: and she did a one ad and she was about

2406
02:15:17,320 --> 02:15:21,600
Speaker 1: to walk out, and you know, she I chatted to

2407
02:15:21,640 --> 02:15:25,320
Speaker 1: her and I somehow convinced her to come back and

2408
02:15:25,480 --> 02:15:28,040
Speaker 1: just do a little easy, peasy workout and she loved it.

2409
02:15:28,840 --> 02:15:31,480
Speaker 1: And you know, it took a little while before she

2410
02:15:31,520 --> 02:15:33,360
Speaker 1: loved me and loved it, but she loved it, and

2411
02:15:33,400 --> 02:15:36,720
Speaker 1: it you know, she got very comfortable, very quickly, and

2412
02:15:38,480 --> 02:15:40,240
Speaker 1: or you know, I'm going to say within a week.

2413
02:15:40,800 --> 02:15:44,560
Speaker 1: And then we just started talking about you know, like

2414
02:15:44,680 --> 02:15:48,440
Speaker 1: she was very unfit, and she's like, but what how

2415
02:15:48,440 --> 02:15:50,520
Speaker 1: do I even I'm not you know, I'm like, cool,

2416
02:15:50,520 --> 02:15:53,080
Speaker 1: whatever you can do if you can walk up the

2417
02:15:53,120 --> 02:15:58,080
Speaker 1: stairs once, because there were stairs to the space, I go,

2418
02:15:58,240 --> 02:16:00,240
Speaker 1: so we'll walk up the stairs and then put your

2419
02:16:00,240 --> 02:16:02,080
Speaker 1: bum on a seat for a minute, we'll have a chat,

2420
02:16:02,600 --> 02:16:04,240
Speaker 1: and then you'll do another one, and you put your

2421
02:16:04,280 --> 02:16:06,120
Speaker 1: bum on a seat for another minute, and then you

2422
02:16:06,240 --> 02:16:08,040
Speaker 1: do another one and then we go, Wow. Today she

2423
02:16:08,080 --> 02:16:10,400
Speaker 1: did three flights, well done and then we'll go and

2424
02:16:10,440 --> 02:16:12,640
Speaker 1: do some lightweights, and then we'll have a gentle stretch,

2425
02:16:12,640 --> 02:16:13,920
Speaker 1: and then I'm going to talk to you about your

2426
02:16:13,920 --> 02:16:16,440
Speaker 1: food a bit, and then I'm going to tell three

2427
02:16:16,480 --> 02:16:18,400
Speaker 1: dick jokes because I'm hilarious, and then I'm going to

2428
02:16:18,400 --> 02:16:21,200
Speaker 1: send you on your way. She's probably inappropriate for it.

2429
02:16:21,640 --> 02:16:24,720
Speaker 1: There's no extra cost, no extra cost, and she that

2430
02:16:24,840 --> 02:16:28,840
Speaker 1: was her favorite bit because she was irish. But then

2431
02:16:29,240 --> 02:16:30,880
Speaker 1: you know when you go, all right, so now it's

2432
02:16:30,920 --> 02:16:33,320
Speaker 1: been three months and now you're doing twenty flights of

2433
02:16:33,400 --> 02:16:36,000
Speaker 1: those stairs that you could only do one. And that's progress.

2434
02:16:36,080 --> 02:16:40,760
Speaker 1: That's changed, that's transformation. And anyway, some months after that

2435
02:16:40,840 --> 02:16:44,480
Speaker 1: first workout, I honestly can't remember how many months, but

2436
02:16:44,480 --> 02:16:46,680
Speaker 1: I'm going to say it was somewhere between six and twelve,

2437
02:16:47,760 --> 02:16:50,039
Speaker 1: she did a five k run five k run with me.

2438
02:16:50,200 --> 02:16:54,480
Speaker 1: She ran a five kilometer fun run which I registered

2439
02:16:54,520 --> 02:16:59,320
Speaker 1: her and myself in and her family, oh my god,

2440
02:16:59,360 --> 02:17:02,320
Speaker 1: her family like they did not because she didn't really

2441
02:17:02,480 --> 02:17:05,080
Speaker 1: let on what she was doing too much. It's kind

2442
02:17:05,080 --> 02:17:07,680
Speaker 1: of hard to explain back in the nineties also early nineties,

2443
02:17:07,879 --> 02:17:11,920
Speaker 1: what the fucking personal trainer is. Yeah, nobody really gets it.

2444
02:17:11,959 --> 02:17:13,760
Speaker 1: People used to go. So they give you money and

2445
02:17:13,800 --> 02:17:17,840
Speaker 1: you watch them exercise. I'm like, kinda kind of they

2446
02:17:17,879 --> 02:17:19,560
Speaker 1: do the workout and I get the cash. It's a

2447
02:17:19,560 --> 02:17:21,840
Speaker 1: little bit more than that, but yeah, and what do

2448
02:17:21,879 --> 02:17:24,000
Speaker 1: you do? Do you not work out with them? I go, no,

2449
02:17:24,040 --> 02:17:26,039
Speaker 1: I'll watch them they go, So you fucking stand there

2450
02:17:26,080 --> 02:17:27,879
Speaker 1: and they do it and you get I'm like, what

2451
02:17:27,959 --> 02:17:29,240
Speaker 1: a great idea, huh.

2452
02:17:29,280 --> 02:17:32,200
Speaker 3: I wonder how she actually ended up there on that day,

2453
02:17:32,400 --> 02:17:33,640
Speaker 3: because well.

2454
02:17:33,560 --> 02:17:36,000
Speaker 1: She wanted to see what it was, because she wanted

2455
02:17:36,040 --> 02:17:39,000
Speaker 1: to do something about her health, and it just said

2456
02:17:39,040 --> 02:17:41,640
Speaker 1: fitness consultant. I could have been a bloke in a

2457
02:17:41,680 --> 02:17:45,360
Speaker 1: white coat and a stepthoscope and she didn't know what.

2458
02:17:45,560 --> 02:17:48,400
Speaker 1: She walked up and there's a fucking there's a savage

2459
02:17:48,480 --> 02:17:52,560
Speaker 1: in a fucking tiny singlet lifting heavy shit, and she's like,

2460
02:17:52,760 --> 02:17:55,320
Speaker 1: get the fuck out of here, Like she couldn't turn

2461
02:17:55,320 --> 02:17:59,920
Speaker 1: around quick enough. You know, I don't blame her, but yeah,

2462
02:18:00,080 --> 02:18:05,160
Speaker 1: and she just that lady. Oh my god. When I

2463
02:18:05,200 --> 02:18:08,280
Speaker 1: looked at she lost like thirty k's. Her fitness went

2464
02:18:08,320 --> 02:18:13,760
Speaker 1: from literally fucking half yeah two for her potential to

2465
02:18:13,840 --> 02:18:19,279
Speaker 1: an eight. Yeah, amazing and amazing to see. Yeah, family

2466
02:18:19,320 --> 02:18:22,960
Speaker 1: came and watched and oh, well, some of her family.

2467
02:18:23,040 --> 02:18:25,800
Speaker 1: Her husband thought, I don't know what a husband thought

2468
02:18:25,800 --> 02:18:29,400
Speaker 1: about me. He's like, the fuck's this bloke and kids

2469
02:18:29,400 --> 02:18:31,240
Speaker 1: and she was crying and they were crying, and it's

2470
02:18:31,240 --> 02:18:34,280
Speaker 1: like just the best, the best, but it's for me.

2471
02:18:34,360 --> 02:18:36,880
Speaker 1: It's not even the fun run was great, the transformation

2472
02:18:37,080 --> 02:18:39,360
Speaker 1: was great, but you know what's fucking great? And this

2473
02:18:39,520 --> 02:18:43,000
Speaker 1: is always the way when people go from such a

2474
02:18:43,040 --> 02:18:49,760
Speaker 1: low starting point to such an achievement. There's always part

2475
02:18:49,760 --> 02:18:52,160
Speaker 1: of them. Yet there's the physical stuff. You're leaning your better,

2476
02:18:52,240 --> 02:18:55,720
Speaker 1: you're faster, you're healthier, you've just increased your lifespan and

2477
02:18:55,760 --> 02:18:58,520
Speaker 1: your health span, fucking go you. But there's this other

2478
02:18:58,600 --> 02:19:01,360
Speaker 1: thing which is almost not thought of, which for me

2479
02:19:01,480 --> 02:19:05,119
Speaker 1: is the real power all of us. Suddenly they start

2480
02:19:05,160 --> 02:19:09,200
Speaker 1: to understand their potential. Yeah life, you know, they start

2481
02:19:09,280 --> 02:19:11,920
Speaker 1: to which is what we're talking about, talent potential. They

2482
02:19:12,040 --> 02:19:17,359
Speaker 1: just start to go, oh ah, and a million years

2483
02:19:17,560 --> 02:19:20,039
Speaker 1: I did not even think I could do this. I

2484
02:19:20,040 --> 02:19:23,080
Speaker 1: wouldn't even have thought about it. And not only do

2485
02:19:23,160 --> 02:19:25,800
Speaker 1: I now know I can do it, I've actually done it.

2486
02:19:26,120 --> 02:19:28,959
Speaker 1: And then you think, just as I did when I

2487
02:19:29,000 --> 02:19:32,199
Speaker 1: was fourteen and lost thirty odd kilos. Then you think, oh,

2488
02:19:33,040 --> 02:19:35,520
Speaker 1: what else can I do that I thought I couldn't do?

2489
02:19:36,800 --> 02:19:40,600
Speaker 1: Because this opens a different door in your brain where

2490
02:19:40,640 --> 02:19:44,560
Speaker 1: you start to get evidence that's at odds with your

2491
02:19:44,640 --> 02:19:49,240
Speaker 1: belief about what's your capacity. You're like, well, fuck, my

2492
02:19:49,360 --> 02:19:52,480
Speaker 1: story is I can't do this, and now I've got

2493
02:19:52,560 --> 02:19:57,280
Speaker 1: evidence to the contrary. It's not someone wishing me well

2494
02:19:57,840 --> 02:19:59,600
Speaker 1: or giving me a bit of a fucking group hug

2495
02:19:59,680 --> 02:20:02,760
Speaker 1: or a power on the back. I've actually done this

2496
02:20:02,920 --> 02:20:05,960
Speaker 1: thing and it's you know, so when people say how

2497
02:20:05,959 --> 02:20:08,400
Speaker 1: do you build confidence, it's like, just do hard shit. Yep.

2498
02:20:08,959 --> 02:20:10,560
Speaker 1: You can have all the fan clubs in the world

2499
02:20:10,640 --> 02:20:13,840
Speaker 1: telling you you're a fucking legend, but it's not the

2500
02:20:13,879 --> 02:20:17,320
Speaker 1: same until you actually go and do what is legendary

2501
02:20:17,520 --> 02:20:17,960
Speaker 1: for you.

2502
02:20:18,480 --> 02:20:21,920
Speaker 4: And when you go, ah, so that wasn't true. What

2503
02:20:22,120 --> 02:20:23,800
Speaker 4: else isn't true?

2504
02:20:24,320 --> 02:20:27,800
Speaker 1: Oh exactly, Melissa, exactly. Can I just say something that

2505
02:20:27,840 --> 02:20:29,040
Speaker 1: I'm noticing right now?

2506
02:20:29,400 --> 02:20:31,240
Speaker 4: Yes, that we're going for a really long time.

2507
02:20:31,560 --> 02:20:33,720
Speaker 1: No, I'm cool with that. Can I just say that

2508
02:20:34,720 --> 02:20:37,160
Speaker 1: you've made a crucial mistake?

2509
02:20:38,120 --> 02:20:40,040
Speaker 4: Did I not hear? I've hit record. I've checked it

2510
02:20:40,040 --> 02:20:41,480
Speaker 4: about fourteen times.

2511
02:20:42,480 --> 02:20:45,560
Speaker 1: No, I'm not talking about your crucial mistake is that

2512
02:20:45,640 --> 02:20:48,520
Speaker 1: you're so fucking good at this. And I know you're

2513
02:20:48,560 --> 02:20:50,840
Speaker 1: going to go, no, I'm shit, nah na nah, But

2514
02:20:50,920 --> 02:20:53,560
Speaker 1: you're good at this. You should Hey, everyone, if you

2515
02:20:53,600 --> 02:20:58,840
Speaker 1: think Melissa should do more of this, please go to

2516
02:20:58,920 --> 02:21:02,800
Speaker 1: the Facebook page. Please go to the Facebook page. And

2517
02:21:02,879 --> 02:21:05,120
Speaker 1: if we get one hundred people, if we get one

2518
02:21:05,200 --> 02:21:08,000
Speaker 1: hundred people who like it, and so we just need

2519
02:21:08,040 --> 02:21:10,720
Speaker 1: to go yeah, I think, and then one hundred people agree,

2520
02:21:11,520 --> 02:21:13,280
Speaker 1: then we might have to have a meeting. You and

2521
02:21:13,320 --> 02:21:15,400
Speaker 1: I all right, let's keep going.

2522
02:21:15,959 --> 02:21:18,640
Speaker 4: That's because we were only like five in and we're

2523
02:21:18,720 --> 02:21:19,320
Speaker 4: like an hour?

2524
02:21:19,360 --> 02:21:22,400
Speaker 1: Are we? How long we've been recording?

2525
02:21:23,959 --> 02:21:24,560
Speaker 4: Three minutes?

2526
02:21:24,760 --> 02:21:28,360
Speaker 3: I think I think we babbled a bit beforehand, but

2527
02:21:28,760 --> 02:21:31,080
Speaker 3: I think it's been I think I think you're good.

2528
02:21:31,400 --> 02:21:34,160
Speaker 1: I think you're the actual real next one.

2529
02:21:34,640 --> 02:21:36,080
Speaker 4: Stop waiting for opportunities.

2530
02:21:36,560 --> 02:21:39,400
Speaker 1: Stop waiting for opportunities. I think that you know, when

2531
02:21:39,400 --> 02:21:47,119
Speaker 1: opportunities present themselves magically, that's good. But I think there

2532
02:21:47,120 --> 02:21:55,200
Speaker 1: are three kind of components. There's people who ah, there

2533
02:21:55,200 --> 02:21:58,480
Speaker 1: are people who hope an opportunity presents itself and wait

2534
02:21:58,640 --> 02:22:03,960
Speaker 1: for an opportunity to come along. There are people who

2535
02:22:04,600 --> 02:22:08,840
Speaker 1: try to connect with others, I guess to get an opportunity,

2536
02:22:10,120 --> 02:22:12,440
Speaker 1: and then there are those who go, fuck it, how

2537
02:22:12,480 --> 02:22:17,680
Speaker 1: can I what can I practically do myself to make

2538
02:22:17,760 --> 02:22:22,360
Speaker 1: my own opportunity? So I guess the analogy is like,

2539
02:22:22,920 --> 02:22:24,800
Speaker 1: you know, nobody's going to come knock on your door

2540
02:22:24,879 --> 02:22:27,480
Speaker 1: to say, I know you think you're an author and

2541
02:22:27,560 --> 02:22:31,119
Speaker 1: we publish books, or you're a potential author, So we're

2542
02:22:31,160 --> 02:22:34,480
Speaker 1: just here just to you know, reach out and say,

2543
02:22:35,120 --> 02:22:37,720
Speaker 1: start writing that book because we're going to publish it.

2544
02:22:37,800 --> 02:22:40,360
Speaker 1: Like that's never happening. So how do you get to

2545
02:22:40,360 --> 02:22:42,400
Speaker 1: that stage? Will you write a book? You just start

2546
02:22:42,440 --> 02:22:45,440
Speaker 1: writing and you you write it, you edit it, you

2547
02:22:45,480 --> 02:22:47,440
Speaker 1: refine it, You think about a name, You think about

2548
02:22:47,440 --> 02:22:49,040
Speaker 1: what's on the front cover and the back cover. You

2549
02:22:49,120 --> 02:22:51,920
Speaker 1: think about distribution, you think about who's your target audience.

2550
02:22:52,240 --> 02:22:53,920
Speaker 1: And you don't need a degree to do this, and

2551
02:22:53,959 --> 02:22:56,360
Speaker 1: you don't need anybody in your ear to do this.

2552
02:22:56,480 --> 02:22:59,280
Speaker 1: You can just do this and the first draft we shit,

2553
02:22:59,320 --> 02:23:01,280
Speaker 1: in the second have to be less shit, and people

2554
02:23:01,280 --> 02:23:03,800
Speaker 1: will look at it and give your feedback and maybe

2555
02:23:03,840 --> 02:23:05,360
Speaker 1: if that's what you want, and then you can read

2556
02:23:05,400 --> 02:23:08,959
Speaker 1: and reread and you know, then eventually you know, I

2557
02:23:09,000 --> 02:23:13,280
Speaker 1: wrote my first book and self published because who the

2558
02:23:13,280 --> 02:23:16,720
Speaker 1: fuck's Craig Harper, And then that got self published. Then

2559
02:23:16,840 --> 02:23:20,320
Speaker 1: I got approached by a publisher. Now they only approached

2560
02:23:20,360 --> 02:23:24,920
Speaker 1: me with an opportunity or an offer because I did

2561
02:23:24,959 --> 02:23:28,680
Speaker 1: it in the first place. Yes, so because I created

2562
02:23:28,720 --> 02:23:31,360
Speaker 1: my own opportunity by literally sitting down and doing the

2563
02:23:31,360 --> 02:23:34,280
Speaker 1: work and then producing something and pushing it out into

2564
02:23:34,320 --> 02:23:36,160
Speaker 1: the real world. And then they went, well, he's actually

2565
02:23:36,160 --> 02:23:38,760
Speaker 1: written a book and it's been published and been distributed

2566
02:23:39,200 --> 02:23:42,160
Speaker 1: and he sold copies and we quite like it, so

2567
02:23:42,480 --> 02:23:44,760
Speaker 1: maybe we'll work with him. But I just think that

2568
02:23:45,600 --> 02:23:48,720
Speaker 1: you know, if an opportunity presents itself, if something comes along,

2569
02:23:49,040 --> 02:23:52,960
Speaker 1: ace ace, But it's like even when you I don't

2570
02:23:52,959 --> 02:23:54,800
Speaker 1: even know what they are, but you told me about

2571
02:23:54,840 --> 02:23:58,120
Speaker 1: a couple of potential sponsors before, right, Well, the reason

2572
02:23:58,160 --> 02:24:03,240
Speaker 1: that they come along is because we've created a platform

2573
02:24:03,520 --> 02:24:05,879
Speaker 1: that people want to be a part of. Yes, But

2574
02:24:05,920 --> 02:24:10,840
Speaker 1: the opportunities only came because we fucking created this thing,

2575
02:24:12,000 --> 02:24:15,959
Speaker 1: and we stuck around for six hundred episodes going backwards financially,

2576
02:24:17,080 --> 02:24:19,920
Speaker 1: and then eventually, you know, something kicked in, which is

2577
02:24:19,959 --> 02:24:23,000
Speaker 1: really great. But if if I just sat there on

2578
02:24:23,080 --> 02:24:25,680
Speaker 1: episode five and went, well, I'm not doing any more

2579
02:24:25,680 --> 02:24:27,600
Speaker 1: episodes till I get a knock on the door with

2580
02:24:27,680 --> 02:24:31,720
Speaker 1: a sponsorship opportunity. It would have died eight years ago exactly.

2581
02:24:31,879 --> 02:24:34,560
Speaker 3: And the other thing with that is, and maybe this

2582
02:24:34,720 --> 02:24:38,440
Speaker 3: is just my inner control freak, but I feel like

2583
02:24:38,680 --> 02:24:43,560
Speaker 3: when you create the opportunity yourself, right, you have a

2584
02:24:43,600 --> 02:24:47,000
Speaker 3: lot more ownership over what that looks like and what

2585
02:24:47,040 --> 02:24:50,640
Speaker 3: that involves. Whereas waiting for someone to come to you

2586
02:24:50,800 --> 02:24:55,080
Speaker 3: with something that fits perfectly and meets you know, all

2587
02:24:55,160 --> 02:24:58,560
Speaker 3: your desires, all of that not only is unlikely, but

2588
02:24:58,760 --> 02:25:03,680
Speaker 3: also you have less kind of ability to I guess,

2589
02:25:03,840 --> 02:25:07,599
Speaker 3: create that in the way that would suit you best.

2590
02:25:08,200 --> 02:25:13,200
Speaker 1: Well, you think about our collaboration with Nova, for which

2591
02:25:13,240 --> 02:25:16,120
Speaker 1: I'm very grateful. You know, they came to us because

2592
02:25:16,120 --> 02:25:18,880
Speaker 1: we already had lots of listeners. Yeah, they came to

2593
02:25:18,959 --> 02:25:22,680
Speaker 1: us because we were succeeding. We're going great. You know,

2594
02:25:22,760 --> 02:25:24,800
Speaker 1: we went Joe Rogan, but we were going great. They

2595
02:25:24,840 --> 02:25:27,200
Speaker 1: came to us and it was win win.

2596
02:25:27,560 --> 02:25:28,280
Speaker 4: But part of the.

2597
02:25:28,240 --> 02:25:31,880
Speaker 3: Reason for that was because you were able to develop

2598
02:25:31,920 --> 02:25:37,040
Speaker 3: a show in your style that worked well for the

2599
02:25:37,040 --> 02:25:38,160
Speaker 3: way that you deliver.

2600
02:25:38,560 --> 02:25:38,800
Speaker 4: Right.

2601
02:25:39,200 --> 02:25:42,320
Speaker 3: Had you initially been approached by a network that said

2602
02:25:42,440 --> 02:25:45,720
Speaker 3: it has to be twenty minute episodes or thirty minute episodes.

2603
02:25:45,760 --> 02:25:48,520
Speaker 3: It has to be pre recorded in this, you know,

2604
02:25:48,560 --> 02:25:52,080
Speaker 3: and heavily edited, and this is the track it needs.

2605
02:25:51,840 --> 02:25:52,520
Speaker 4: To go down.

2606
02:25:53,160 --> 02:25:55,400
Speaker 3: There's a fair chance that that would have never taken

2607
02:25:55,440 --> 02:25:58,200
Speaker 3: off because it wouldn't have been authentic to you and

2608
02:25:58,240 --> 02:26:04,080
Speaker 3: to your brand, and therefore it likely wouldn't have even worked.

2609
02:26:04,440 --> 02:26:07,360
Speaker 1: So one hundred percent well that that would suck the

2610
02:26:07,360 --> 02:26:10,600
Speaker 1: big fat one. And I would say no if I

2611
02:26:10,640 --> 02:26:14,680
Speaker 1: get too technical, let me know everyone. But also I

2612
02:26:14,720 --> 02:26:16,280
Speaker 1: was going to say, which you kind of said, but

2613
02:26:16,320 --> 02:26:20,680
Speaker 1: even with Nova, if nover Go, if like today, we

2614
02:26:20,760 --> 02:26:22,640
Speaker 1: didn't ring over and go, by the way, we're doing

2615
02:26:22,800 --> 02:26:25,760
Speaker 1: a three hour episode, yep, because an over have no

2616
02:26:25,840 --> 02:26:29,800
Speaker 1: say in how many episodes I produce a week. I mean,

2617
02:26:29,840 --> 02:26:32,039
Speaker 1: maybe a little bit, but that, But what I mean

2618
02:26:32,120 --> 02:26:34,760
Speaker 1: is that's great. They are great for us, and Overgo.

2619
02:26:34,959 --> 02:26:36,640
Speaker 1: You're pretty good at this. So we'll get the fuck

2620
02:26:36,680 --> 02:26:39,400
Speaker 1: out of the way, and Craig and Melissa and Tiff,

2621
02:26:39,440 --> 02:26:41,640
Speaker 1: what you'll do is you'll produce episodes, you'll get guests,

2622
02:26:41,680 --> 02:26:44,040
Speaker 1: you'll edit, and then you'll you'll load it. You'll do

2623
02:26:44,080 --> 02:26:45,840
Speaker 1: all that and we'll be over here trying to find

2624
02:26:45,879 --> 02:26:50,800
Speaker 1: you sponsors, and you know, brands that want to align

2625
02:26:50,840 --> 02:26:52,760
Speaker 1: with you and work with you will do that. You

2626
02:26:52,840 --> 02:26:56,400
Speaker 1: produce the shows, and we're like, well, fucking great because

2627
02:26:56,440 --> 02:26:58,240
Speaker 1: you're good at that and we're good at this. So

2628
02:26:58,320 --> 02:27:01,000
Speaker 1: you do your thing, we'll do our thing. Take this percentage,

2629
02:27:01,040 --> 02:27:04,320
Speaker 1: we'll take that percentage. Everybody happy, Yep, good, let's go

2630
02:27:04,400 --> 02:27:08,640
Speaker 1: home perfect. You know, but that's that, But you know

2631
02:27:08,680 --> 02:27:12,119
Speaker 1: that is it was literally an opportunity that went both ways.

2632
02:27:12,280 --> 02:27:17,000
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, and ways in which you can maximize speaking

2633
02:27:17,000 --> 02:27:20,640
Speaker 3: of talent before you can maximize your skill set and

2634
02:27:20,680 --> 02:27:23,359
Speaker 3: they can do what they're best at, and then together

2635
02:27:23,440 --> 02:27:26,480
Speaker 3: it is a partnership that works well for bos parties.

2636
02:27:27,200 --> 02:27:30,200
Speaker 1: Let's do a few more. Let's go with the next

2637
02:27:30,240 --> 02:27:33,480
Speaker 1: one on your list. Then we might skip one or two.

2638
02:27:33,520 --> 02:27:39,119
Speaker 1: I'm just thinking, because well we've been a while, I'm ready.

2639
02:27:39,400 --> 02:27:42,520
Speaker 4: Yes, I feel a bit bad saying this, but.

2640
02:27:42,720 --> 02:27:45,879
Speaker 1: I know you do. But I'll quickly jump in the

2641
02:27:45,920 --> 02:27:48,280
Speaker 1: next one. Is you're not special? Now what I mean

2642
02:27:48,320 --> 02:27:51,280
Speaker 1: by that before you all start getting hurt and ringing

2643
02:27:51,280 --> 02:27:57,240
Speaker 1: your mum, you know, like, which is not to say

2644
02:27:57,720 --> 02:28:00,160
Speaker 1: you can't do special things or you're not special or

2645
02:28:00,240 --> 02:28:04,959
Speaker 1: to someone or it just means that they're This is

2646
02:28:05,000 --> 02:28:07,080
Speaker 1: my take, and I could be wrong, you know how,

2647
02:28:07,080 --> 02:28:08,800
Speaker 1: I get things wrong all the time. I could be wrong,

2648
02:28:09,440 --> 02:28:11,440
Speaker 1: But I feel like there are a percentage of people

2649
02:28:11,440 --> 02:28:13,960
Speaker 1: who feel like they're special just because they were born.

2650
02:28:14,280 --> 02:28:15,120
Speaker 4: Yeah.

2651
02:28:15,160 --> 02:28:18,600
Speaker 1: And I don't know if you do the whole likelihood

2652
02:28:18,680 --> 02:28:21,320
Speaker 1: of the egg meeting the sperm and the probability and

2653
02:28:21,320 --> 02:28:25,160
Speaker 1: the numbers, well, yeah, maybe. But I'm not being a

2654
02:28:25,200 --> 02:28:28,080
Speaker 1: hard ass. I'm just saying, you know, in the sense

2655
02:28:28,120 --> 02:28:30,480
Speaker 1: that I'm a human in a world with eight billion

2656
02:28:30,600 --> 02:28:35,320
Speaker 1: other humans, I'm not special. In fact, I'm incredibly fucking

2657
02:28:35,400 --> 02:28:38,920
Speaker 1: common because there's another eight billion of me. Now, that

2658
02:28:38,959 --> 02:28:41,400
Speaker 1: doesn't mean I can't do amazing or be amazing or

2659
02:28:41,440 --> 02:28:44,440
Speaker 1: create great outcomes. It doesn't mean I can't be special

2660
02:28:44,480 --> 02:28:47,360
Speaker 1: to people, and you can't be special to people. But

2661
02:28:47,440 --> 02:28:51,199
Speaker 1: I think this kind of I'm special mindset actually fucks

2662
02:28:51,280 --> 02:28:51,680
Speaker 1: up people.

2663
02:28:52,000 --> 02:28:52,200
Speaker 4: Yep.

2664
02:28:52,920 --> 02:28:56,560
Speaker 1: You know, you can have a special impact on people,

2665
02:28:56,600 --> 02:28:59,640
Speaker 1: you can create special and spectacular outcomes, you can live

2666
02:28:59,640 --> 02:29:03,080
Speaker 1: a special life. But that's not because you were born special.

2667
02:29:03,120 --> 02:29:05,840
Speaker 1: That's because you did the work. But that's because you

2668
02:29:05,879 --> 02:29:08,320
Speaker 1: were brave. That's because you put on your big boy,

2669
02:29:08,400 --> 02:29:10,560
Speaker 1: big girl pants and you fucking rolled up your sleeves

2670
02:29:10,560 --> 02:29:13,080
Speaker 1: and you had a crack. And now you're fucking doing

2671
02:29:13,160 --> 02:29:16,840
Speaker 1: special shit. Now you're helping people, serving people, or building

2672
02:29:16,840 --> 02:29:19,920
Speaker 1: a business, or building wealth or creating an awesome, awesome

2673
02:29:19,959 --> 02:29:25,240
Speaker 1: health state, you know. And I just think that while

2674
02:29:25,320 --> 02:29:30,280
Speaker 1: it's good to have good self esteem, you know, thinking

2675
02:29:30,320 --> 02:29:36,000
Speaker 1: that you are uniquely, fabulously special in an ocean of

2676
02:29:36,160 --> 02:29:39,640
Speaker 1: eight billion humans, I don't actually think it's good for

2677
02:29:39,720 --> 02:29:43,360
Speaker 1: our drive, for our motivation, for our long term outcomes.

2678
02:29:43,400 --> 02:29:46,959
Speaker 1: Now that's not I'm not special, that's not self loathing.

2679
02:29:47,080 --> 02:29:51,400
Speaker 1: By the way, You're not bad, You're you're but but

2680
02:29:51,720 --> 02:29:54,920
Speaker 1: you know, you're just like me, just another just another

2681
02:29:55,000 --> 02:29:58,879
Speaker 1: human doing life. And that's okay. And if I'm just

2682
02:29:58,920 --> 02:30:03,760
Speaker 1: another human doing life, life sounds hurtful. Well it's literally true.

2683
02:30:03,959 --> 02:30:06,400
Speaker 1: Now that doesn't mean that you can't have a beautiful

2684
02:30:06,440 --> 02:30:09,760
Speaker 1: life with beautiful people and do amazing shit. But if

2685
02:30:09,760 --> 02:30:12,840
Speaker 1: we zoom out from the micro of your existence and

2686
02:30:12,879 --> 02:30:16,720
Speaker 1: your day and your life and your body and your situation,

2687
02:30:16,920 --> 02:30:20,480
Speaker 1: if we zoom out to humanity, we zoom out to

2688
02:30:20,640 --> 02:30:24,640
Speaker 1: three hundred thousand years of evolution, we zoom out to

2689
02:30:24,800 --> 02:30:30,320
Speaker 1: eight billion humans on the planet. Well fucking I'm a nobody.

2690
02:30:30,640 --> 02:30:32,520
Speaker 1: And by the way, when I die, I'll be forgotten

2691
02:30:32,520 --> 02:30:35,720
Speaker 1: about in seven minutes. And that's cool because that's how

2692
02:30:35,760 --> 02:30:38,600
Speaker 1: it works. You know, we come, we live for a while.

2693
02:30:38,600 --> 02:30:41,400
Speaker 1: And I know this sounds what does it sound fatalistic?

2694
02:30:41,480 --> 02:30:45,080
Speaker 1: I don't mean that because I think also maybe when

2695
02:30:45,080 --> 02:30:48,080
Speaker 1: we leave this mortal coil, that's not the end. But

2696
02:30:48,120 --> 02:30:52,480
Speaker 1: that's another podcast. But I just think that having this

2697
02:30:52,879 --> 02:30:55,840
Speaker 1: a sense of entitlement that some people have and this

2698
02:30:56,360 --> 02:31:02,640
Speaker 1: I'm special. I don't create success. I deserve success. No,

2699
02:31:02,800 --> 02:31:05,960
Speaker 1: you don't. You go create it. And if you do

2700
02:31:06,040 --> 02:31:09,120
Speaker 1: the work, and if you try hard enough for long enough,

2701
02:31:09,160 --> 02:31:12,200
Speaker 1: and you're brave enough, and you invest enough energy and

2702
02:31:12,240 --> 02:31:14,840
Speaker 1: you do the right things, then you will create your

2703
02:31:14,840 --> 02:31:18,200
Speaker 1: own version of success. And well done you. That's awesome.

2704
02:31:19,440 --> 02:31:22,640
Speaker 1: But I just think for me, and I probably clumsily

2705
02:31:22,720 --> 02:31:26,200
Speaker 1: articulated this, so I apologize as if it is clumsy

2706
02:31:26,760 --> 02:31:30,039
Speaker 1: and it seems insensitive. But I would just want to

2707
02:31:30,040 --> 02:31:32,440
Speaker 1: sometimes say to some people that I'm talking to, Hey, bro,

2708
02:31:33,000 --> 02:31:35,760
Speaker 1: I like you, but you're not special. You're just a dude.

2709
02:31:36,000 --> 02:31:38,280
Speaker 1: You're just a dude doing life. I'm a dude, I'm

2710
02:31:38,320 --> 02:31:40,959
Speaker 1: not special. You're not special. Where the fuck do we

2711
02:31:41,000 --> 02:31:44,360
Speaker 1: all get this idea that where you know? And then

2712
02:31:44,400 --> 02:31:46,800
Speaker 1: if we tell people they're not, well, you're a prick.

2713
02:31:47,520 --> 02:31:51,080
Speaker 1: Oh you're harsh, You're not you know, it's like, oh,

2714
02:31:51,120 --> 02:31:56,720
Speaker 1: you're hurting people's mental health. Am I really? How about

2715
02:31:56,760 --> 02:32:00,120
Speaker 1: telling people all the time they're special and then when

2716
02:32:00,120 --> 02:32:03,360
Speaker 1: they get out of the house with no resilience and

2717
02:32:03,400 --> 02:32:06,279
Speaker 1: no mental toughness and no skills to deal with life,

2718
02:32:06,800 --> 02:32:09,800
Speaker 1: and life punches them in the face a thousand fucking

2719
02:32:09,959 --> 02:32:14,560
Speaker 1: times because life doesn't care how special or unspecial they are. Yea,

2720
02:32:15,320 --> 02:32:18,480
Speaker 1: this is my motive. I want you to be strong

2721
02:32:18,520 --> 02:32:22,320
Speaker 1: and powerful and resilient and capable so you can go

2722
02:32:22,360 --> 02:32:26,320
Speaker 1: and build your best fucking life, not because you're innately special,

2723
02:32:26,440 --> 02:32:31,720
Speaker 1: but because you use what you've got. Steps down, off soapbox.

2724
02:32:32,240 --> 02:32:36,520
Speaker 1: Let's do all right, I'll tell you what we'll do, Melissa,

2725
02:32:36,600 --> 02:32:38,760
Speaker 1: I was gonna do one more, but fuck it, it's along

2726
02:32:38,840 --> 02:32:41,920
Speaker 1: this podcast. Ever, why don't you just I know we've

2727
02:32:41,920 --> 02:32:45,160
Speaker 1: got a bunch ever a bunch left, but what aren't you?

2728
02:32:45,200 --> 02:32:47,600
Speaker 1: And some of these are familiar themes on this show,

2729
02:32:47,640 --> 02:32:50,840
Speaker 1: but that's the point. Why don't you pick four more

2730
02:32:52,120 --> 02:32:56,640
Speaker 1: that that resonate for you and Will? I don't know

2731
02:32:56,680 --> 02:32:58,480
Speaker 1: what that's going to take us up to, probably close

2732
02:32:58,520 --> 02:33:02,200
Speaker 1: to three hours or something ridiculous, but anyway, what do

2733
02:33:02,240 --> 02:33:04,080
Speaker 1: you want to go with the next one?

2734
02:33:04,640 --> 02:33:07,760
Speaker 3: In keeping with the fact that this is AFL Grand

2735
02:33:07,800 --> 02:33:10,440
Speaker 3: Final week, we're going to keep going with the list

2736
02:33:10,480 --> 02:33:13,000
Speaker 3: and it's going to be be the player and the coach.

2737
02:33:13,920 --> 02:33:16,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, all right, now I'm going to tell you,

2738
02:33:16,200 --> 02:33:18,879
Speaker 1: and you don't know this, we'll actually bypass this one.

2739
02:33:18,920 --> 02:33:21,720
Speaker 1: It's not your fault, but I'll quickly explain this because

2740
02:33:21,760 --> 02:33:25,000
Speaker 1: Tiff and I essentially did this and it's my bad.

2741
02:33:25,240 --> 02:33:27,160
Speaker 1: So what that means being the player and the coach?

2742
02:33:27,560 --> 02:33:31,000
Speaker 1: And there's an AFL analogy, as you are quite rightly

2743
02:33:31,040 --> 02:33:34,959
Speaker 1: pointed out. This weekend's the Grand Final in Melbourne, So

2744
02:33:35,160 --> 02:33:39,039
Speaker 1: it's like it's that river thing that we were talking

2745
02:33:39,040 --> 02:33:41,360
Speaker 1: about before. Everybody, it's like your life's the river. It's

2746
02:33:41,360 --> 02:33:43,360
Speaker 1: got its own energy, and when you're in the river,

2747
02:33:44,320 --> 02:33:46,720
Speaker 1: you can't have a level of objectivity and perspective that

2748
02:33:46,760 --> 02:33:48,160
Speaker 1: you can have when you're out of the river. And

2749
02:33:48,200 --> 02:33:51,720
Speaker 1: this is analogous to being the player in the game,

2750
02:33:51,760 --> 02:33:54,800
Speaker 1: when you are always the player and you are always

2751
02:33:54,840 --> 02:33:57,440
Speaker 1: in the middle of the game, sometimes you need to

2752
02:33:57,440 --> 02:33:59,720
Speaker 1: be able to step away from the game, which is

2753
02:33:59,720 --> 02:34:03,400
Speaker 1: what why we have halftime. We have half time in

2754
02:34:03,440 --> 02:34:05,480
Speaker 1: the game and quarter time and three quarter time, so

2755
02:34:05,520 --> 02:34:08,240
Speaker 1: we can see what's happening, we can stop, we can

2756
02:34:08,520 --> 02:34:12,400
Speaker 1: take stock of what's working and what's not. And so, yeah,

2757
02:34:12,440 --> 02:34:15,480
Speaker 1: I just won't replay that whole thing, Melissa, But that's ye.

2758
02:34:15,760 --> 02:34:17,920
Speaker 1: You want to know that. But yeah, that's a very

2759
02:34:17,959 --> 02:34:19,680
Speaker 1: similar metaphor to the last one.

2760
02:34:20,120 --> 02:34:24,960
Speaker 3: Sure, Okay, next one then is get yourself an unreasonable friend.

2761
02:34:25,920 --> 02:34:28,920
Speaker 1: Okay, we've spoken about that, and for those who don't

2762
02:34:28,959 --> 02:34:31,440
Speaker 1: know what that term means to me, it means, and

2763
02:34:31,560 --> 02:34:35,520
Speaker 1: I teach an unreasonable friend is somebody that loves you,

2764
02:34:35,680 --> 02:34:38,920
Speaker 1: cares about you, but won't always tell you what you

2765
02:34:38,959 --> 02:34:42,000
Speaker 1: would like to hear. And they're coming from a place

2766
02:34:42,040 --> 02:34:45,640
Speaker 1: of love and kindness and from a level of perspective

2767
02:34:45,680 --> 02:34:49,720
Speaker 1: and objectivity that you can't have about you because you're you.

2768
02:34:51,080 --> 02:34:52,920
Speaker 1: So that whole thing that you have in your head

2769
02:34:52,959 --> 02:34:56,760
Speaker 1: about how objective you are and self aware you are, Yeah,

2770
02:34:56,800 --> 02:34:58,760
Speaker 1: probably not as much as you think, and that's not bad.

2771
02:34:58,800 --> 02:35:03,160
Speaker 1: That's human and so and this is really hard. By

2772
02:35:03,200 --> 02:35:05,640
Speaker 1: the way, this is this is a hard thing. And

2773
02:35:05,680 --> 02:35:09,000
Speaker 1: people like people always nod their head when I share this,

2774
02:35:10,160 --> 02:35:12,160
Speaker 1: share about this in a seminar, they're like, oh, yeah,

2775
02:35:12,160 --> 02:35:15,400
Speaker 1: that's good, you know, because oh yeah, I love feedback.

2776
02:35:15,440 --> 02:35:17,640
Speaker 1: And as I've said many times, yeah, we love feedback

2777
02:35:17,720 --> 02:35:21,720
Speaker 1: until it's feedback we don't love. And so yeah, it's like, yeah,

2778
02:35:21,760 --> 02:35:23,760
Speaker 1: give me all the feedback, but only the good feedback

2779
02:35:24,000 --> 02:35:25,920
Speaker 1: make it great. And by the way, if it's not

2780
02:35:25,959 --> 02:35:28,440
Speaker 1: good feedback, fuck you, you're not my friend. It's like, well,

2781
02:35:28,440 --> 02:35:31,840
Speaker 1: that's what do you want? Well, I want praise. Oh okay,

2782
02:35:31,879 --> 02:35:33,760
Speaker 1: so you don't want feedback. I want praise. Cool, Well,

2783
02:35:33,800 --> 02:35:35,640
Speaker 1: let me know. I just want to back rub and

2784
02:35:35,680 --> 02:35:41,520
Speaker 1: a fucking you know some streamers and shit like it's like, dude,

2785
02:35:42,080 --> 02:35:44,240
Speaker 1: you're fucking things up. I love you. I don't want

2786
02:35:44,240 --> 02:35:47,119
Speaker 1: you to fuck up. I don't have all the answers,

2787
02:35:47,400 --> 02:35:49,920
Speaker 1: but I have a level of objectivity about you because

2788
02:35:49,959 --> 02:35:54,039
Speaker 1: I'm external. I'm from the outside looking in, and so

2789
02:35:54,160 --> 02:35:55,879
Speaker 1: with that in mind, I want to share with you

2790
02:35:55,959 --> 02:35:59,080
Speaker 1: what I am seeing. I'm sharing with you what I

2791
02:35:59,120 --> 02:36:01,840
Speaker 1: am seeing because I want to help you and I

2792
02:36:01,920 --> 02:36:04,120
Speaker 1: want to give you insight to the thing that you

2793
02:36:04,320 --> 02:36:08,960
Speaker 1: can't see. And so an unreasonable friend is somebody that

2794
02:36:09,080 --> 02:36:11,720
Speaker 1: will tell you what you need to hear or what

2795
02:36:11,760 --> 02:36:14,120
Speaker 1: they believe you need to hear, despite the fact that

2796
02:36:14,160 --> 02:36:18,960
Speaker 1: you might not always love hearing it. And I guess

2797
02:36:19,000 --> 02:36:22,680
Speaker 1: a twice replayed example of this in the last week

2798
02:36:22,800 --> 02:36:25,560
Speaker 1: is when and I said this to you last week listener. So,

2799
02:36:25,720 --> 02:36:28,360
Speaker 1: but it's just a good example as when and she

2800
02:36:28,520 --> 02:36:30,360
Speaker 1: wasn't a friend, but she was a listener who wrote

2801
02:36:30,480 --> 02:36:33,080
Speaker 1: wrote in and said to me basically early days of

2802
02:36:33,120 --> 02:36:36,680
Speaker 1: the year project, you know I love the show, love

2803
02:36:36,680 --> 02:36:39,879
Speaker 1: you da da da da. Can you stop talking over

2804
02:36:39,879 --> 02:36:42,879
Speaker 1: the top of people? It's very annoying. And when I

2805
02:36:42,920 --> 02:36:44,760
Speaker 1: went back and I listened, I went, guess what I

2806
02:36:44,800 --> 02:36:46,959
Speaker 1: took over the top of people. It's very fucking annoying.

2807
02:36:46,959 --> 02:36:49,400
Speaker 1: And do I ever still do that? Yes? Do I

2808
02:36:49,440 --> 02:36:52,760
Speaker 1: do it less? Yes? But it's like, well, you know,

2809
02:36:52,800 --> 02:36:57,360
Speaker 1: here's the thing. It's very easy to react because we

2810
02:36:57,560 --> 02:37:00,240
Speaker 1: like to think we're all about logic and reason and

2811
02:37:00,360 --> 02:37:04,520
Speaker 1: rationale and the prefrontal cortex. We're intellects. No, we're not.

2812
02:37:04,560 --> 02:37:10,480
Speaker 1: We're fucking emotional Neanderthals We're just fucking emotional Neanderthals who

2813
02:37:10,480 --> 02:37:12,400
Speaker 1: want to tell you to get fucked when we hear

2814
02:37:12,480 --> 02:37:15,920
Speaker 1: something that makes us uncomfortable, right, that whole kind of

2815
02:37:15,959 --> 02:37:18,840
Speaker 1: oh yeah, I'm bigger than this. No, No, we're not.

2816
02:37:18,959 --> 02:37:21,959
Speaker 1: We're often not. And that's the thing is you think

2817
02:37:22,000 --> 02:37:27,240
Speaker 1: you want feedback, and I'm saying, actually, be open real feedback,

2818
02:37:27,280 --> 02:37:29,840
Speaker 1: and if it's coming from a hater who's just shitcanning you,

2819
02:37:29,879 --> 02:37:32,520
Speaker 1: well that ain't this, that's not what we're talking about.

2820
02:37:32,520 --> 02:37:37,560
Speaker 1: But you don't need constant endorsement. You don't need constant validation.

2821
02:37:38,360 --> 02:37:40,360
Speaker 1: You don't need a cheer squad, you don't need a

2822
02:37:40,400 --> 02:37:43,040
Speaker 1: trophy every time you had a fucking salad. You're not

2823
02:37:43,120 --> 02:37:48,280
Speaker 1: six years old, like you need somebody to give you

2824
02:37:48,360 --> 02:37:50,039
Speaker 1: input that you can't give yourself.

2825
02:37:51,320 --> 02:37:54,600
Speaker 3: Do you have any kind of tips around that? For

2826
02:37:54,959 --> 02:37:59,080
Speaker 3: selecting an unreasonable friend? That sounds quite strategic. I don't

2827
02:37:59,120 --> 02:38:01,959
Speaker 3: necessarily mean it that way, but I guess I'm thinking

2828
02:38:01,959 --> 02:38:07,160
Speaker 3: that sometimes we need to decipher between someone who's giving

2829
02:38:07,360 --> 02:38:12,360
Speaker 3: genuine feedback that could be quite constructive, and someone that

2830
02:38:12,520 --> 02:38:15,160
Speaker 3: maybe could be in a way jealous of what you're

2831
02:38:15,200 --> 02:38:19,320
Speaker 3: trying to achieve or need or like the goals in

2832
02:38:19,440 --> 02:38:23,280
Speaker 3: some way that you're trying to aspire to may impact

2833
02:38:23,360 --> 02:38:26,000
Speaker 3: them in a sense, and therefore they don't.

2834
02:38:26,280 --> 02:38:28,640
Speaker 4: Like the idea of doing were you're doing what you're doing.

2835
02:38:28,800 --> 02:38:31,560
Speaker 3: Is there any kind of I guess tips around selecting

2836
02:38:31,600 --> 02:38:32,760
Speaker 3: that unreasonable friend.

2837
02:38:32,920 --> 02:38:36,120
Speaker 1: We'll call this Showisha tips. So here are my tips.

2838
02:38:37,280 --> 02:38:39,760
Speaker 1: You're welcome. I was waiting for you to finish that

2839
02:38:39,879 --> 02:38:45,480
Speaker 1: so I could get that outley.

2840
02:38:43,160 --> 02:38:44,960
Speaker 4: I could just see.

2841
02:38:45,440 --> 02:38:47,680
Speaker 1: I'm like, hurry up with your fucking monologue so I

2842
02:38:47,680 --> 02:38:52,360
Speaker 1: can say my stupid joke. No, it is a good question. Like,

2843
02:38:52,440 --> 02:38:54,520
Speaker 1: here's what I think, truly, I think there are very

2844
02:38:54,560 --> 02:38:59,120
Speaker 1: few people who can do this for you. Like I

2845
02:38:59,120 --> 02:39:03,440
Speaker 1: wouldn't ask you, yeah, because you wouldn't tell me. You

2846
02:39:03,480 --> 02:39:07,039
Speaker 1: will give me, but hang on what I will say

2847
02:39:07,040 --> 02:39:10,039
Speaker 1: with you. Actually that's not true. I think you couldn't

2848
02:39:10,040 --> 02:39:12,360
Speaker 1: have told me. But I think these days you are

2849
02:39:12,440 --> 02:39:16,879
Speaker 1: much closer to that. When I say to you, okay, honestly,

2850
02:39:17,959 --> 02:39:23,240
Speaker 1: and sometimes I'll write a post for I'll write a

2851
02:39:23,240 --> 02:39:27,400
Speaker 1: an Instagram post or whatever, and I'll share it with you,

2852
02:39:28,480 --> 02:39:30,880
Speaker 1: and you know, I'll say, don't tell me if it's good,

2853
02:39:30,879 --> 02:39:34,680
Speaker 1: if it's shit, And sometimes you'll say, yeah, it's not

2854
02:39:34,760 --> 02:39:38,480
Speaker 1: my favorite, which if Melissa is like, that's fucking awful,

2855
02:39:38,600 --> 02:39:41,640
Speaker 1: do not use that ever, right, But I know how

2856
02:39:41,680 --> 02:39:45,440
Speaker 1: to speak fluent Melissa, and I think times though it.

2857
02:39:45,360 --> 02:39:49,520
Speaker 3: Also depends how sorry I just interrupted, Sean, but I

2858
02:39:49,560 --> 02:39:52,320
Speaker 3: think it also depends how close I am to it

2859
02:39:52,400 --> 02:39:56,200
Speaker 3: as well, like sometimes we both lack that objectivity because

2860
02:39:56,240 --> 02:39:56,840
Speaker 3: we're both.

2861
02:39:58,640 --> 02:40:03,560
Speaker 1: One hundred percent Yeah, and I look and it just look,

2862
02:40:03,680 --> 02:40:07,440
Speaker 1: I mean always. And the human experience is that I'm

2863
02:40:07,440 --> 02:40:09,560
Speaker 1: going to get stuff. Even if I'm giving you feedback

2864
02:40:09,600 --> 02:40:12,800
Speaker 1: that I think is spot on, bang on, relevant, helpful,

2865
02:40:13,080 --> 02:40:15,360
Speaker 1: I still could be wrong because I'm a fucking human.

2866
02:40:16,280 --> 02:40:20,400
Speaker 1: But I think you know that knowing that the person

2867
02:40:21,840 --> 02:40:25,800
Speaker 1: uh genuinely wants the best for you, not yeah, you're right.

2868
02:40:25,840 --> 02:40:28,320
Speaker 1: I mean there are people that I mean, this is this,

2869
02:40:28,680 --> 02:40:30,640
Speaker 1: Maybe I should have made this appoint but you know,

2870
02:40:31,040 --> 02:40:34,119
Speaker 1: one of the most fascinating things I've learned about humans

2871
02:40:34,800 --> 02:40:38,640
Speaker 1: and in inverted Comma's friends And there's no self pity

2872
02:40:38,640 --> 02:40:40,360
Speaker 1: in this at all. I love my life and I've

2873
02:40:40,400 --> 02:40:42,960
Speaker 1: got great friends. But is the amount of people who

2874
02:40:42,959 --> 02:40:46,160
Speaker 1: were really bothered by my success that were close friends.

2875
02:40:46,320 --> 02:40:51,160
Speaker 1: I'm like, ah, oh and I've had other friends, close

2876
02:40:51,160 --> 02:40:53,640
Speaker 1: friends of mine who are fucking killing it and crushing

2877
02:40:53,640 --> 02:40:58,400
Speaker 1: it and honestly like so much further progressed and down

2878
02:40:58,440 --> 02:41:01,600
Speaker 1: the track and successful and all the bits or you know,

2879
02:41:01,680 --> 02:41:07,959
Speaker 1: the wealth for this, the brand, and honestly, my one

2880
02:41:08,040 --> 02:41:10,520
Speaker 1: I'm happy for them, genuinely happy for them, and I'm

2881
02:41:10,879 --> 02:41:13,600
Speaker 1: I'm kind of proud of them. I'm kind of proud.

2882
02:41:13,600 --> 02:41:16,720
Speaker 1: I'm like, fuck, I knew you when you were not this,

2883
02:41:17,600 --> 02:41:20,880
Speaker 1: and look at you. I mean, I would be the

2884
02:41:20,879 --> 02:41:23,600
Speaker 1: biggest asshole in the world if I'm talking about all

2885
02:41:23,600 --> 02:41:26,240
Speaker 1: of this. And then when someone that I allegedly love

2886
02:41:26,800 --> 02:41:31,000
Speaker 1: actually did it right, and then I was bothered, Well,

2887
02:41:31,040 --> 02:41:33,720
Speaker 1: you're just a fucking You're an actor playing a role,

2888
02:41:33,840 --> 02:41:39,000
Speaker 1: pretending to be about helping people, you know, But it's

2889
02:41:39,240 --> 02:41:41,640
Speaker 1: it is. It is tricky because the people that love you,

2890
02:41:42,480 --> 02:41:47,680
Speaker 1: they probably overthink and undersay sometimes. But also some of

2891
02:41:47,680 --> 02:41:49,120
Speaker 1: the people that love you can be a pain in

2892
02:41:49,160 --> 02:41:51,200
Speaker 1: the ass. I'm sure there are listeners right now going

2893
02:41:51,959 --> 02:41:56,000
Speaker 1: you haven't heard my mother fuck and now. But you know,

2894
02:41:56,720 --> 02:42:00,760
Speaker 1: I think you've got to like, there's no three point checklist.

2895
02:42:00,800 --> 02:42:04,240
Speaker 1: But I think you intuitively know. I think you intuitively

2896
02:42:04,320 --> 02:42:06,200
Speaker 1: know like, there are people I won't say who, but

2897
02:42:06,240 --> 02:42:08,039
Speaker 1: there are people that I think about right now that

2898
02:42:08,120 --> 02:42:13,040
Speaker 1: for me, I'm pretty sure I would get a relatively

2899
02:42:14,520 --> 02:42:18,640
Speaker 1: unemotional objective as they see it, kind of feedback on

2900
02:42:18,800 --> 02:42:22,600
Speaker 1: things if I if I ask them. But also I

2901
02:42:22,640 --> 02:42:26,120
Speaker 1: think it is equally important for that person to be

2902
02:42:26,200 --> 02:42:29,480
Speaker 1: able to say, hey, I think you go I'm fucking great.

2903
02:42:29,879 --> 02:42:33,160
Speaker 1: Actually I didn't even think that would work, but it's working.

2904
02:42:33,879 --> 02:42:36,840
Speaker 1: Go you. Yes, you know they're not just there to

2905
02:42:36,879 --> 02:42:39,080
Speaker 1: go I don't do that. I don't think that'll work.

2906
02:42:39,280 --> 02:42:43,200
Speaker 1: I don't think nah, they're also there to go, hey you,

2907
02:42:43,520 --> 02:42:46,000
Speaker 1: but it's got to be real. I really think you're

2908
02:42:46,040 --> 02:42:49,240
Speaker 1: crushing it. Yeah, I'm not saying this to make you

2909
02:42:49,360 --> 02:42:53,240
Speaker 1: feel good. I'm aware that it will hopefully, but it's

2910
02:42:53,280 --> 02:42:56,760
Speaker 1: not the reason. Like, this is not a strategy. This

2911
02:42:56,840 --> 02:42:59,800
Speaker 1: is actually what I think. And when you can tell

2912
02:43:00,040 --> 02:43:04,680
Speaker 1: people like, do you know what's funny is I reckon

2913
02:43:05,600 --> 02:43:08,160
Speaker 1: twenty times this year someone that I know, different people

2914
02:43:08,200 --> 02:43:11,240
Speaker 1: that I know that are doing well, and I've just

2915
02:43:11,280 --> 02:43:13,840
Speaker 1: looked at them and I've gone, shut the fuck up

2916
02:43:13,879 --> 02:43:15,800
Speaker 1: for a minute, look at me, look at me, and

2917
02:43:15,840 --> 02:43:19,400
Speaker 1: I go, I'm really proud of you, and I say,

2918
02:43:19,440 --> 02:43:21,280
Speaker 1: I am not saying that to make you feel good,

2919
02:43:22,160 --> 02:43:24,879
Speaker 1: and more men than women, yep, just because it happened

2920
02:43:24,879 --> 02:43:28,560
Speaker 1: to be. Yes, I'm proud of you. I'm so fucking

2921
02:43:28,640 --> 02:43:31,520
Speaker 1: proud of you. I couldn't be happier for you. And

2922
02:43:31,600 --> 02:43:35,320
Speaker 1: I just fucking I love watching you grow. And half

2923
02:43:35,360 --> 02:43:37,920
Speaker 1: of them cry love because they know I mean it,

2924
02:43:38,600 --> 02:43:41,280
Speaker 1: and they know there are not many other people that

2925
02:43:41,440 --> 02:43:45,640
Speaker 1: feel like that about their success. Yes, you know you

2926
02:43:45,720 --> 02:43:49,040
Speaker 1: feel like you've got to downplay your success sometimes.

2927
02:43:49,440 --> 02:43:52,840
Speaker 4: Oh and particularly in Australian culture.

2928
02:43:52,720 --> 02:43:56,199
Speaker 1: Like when my and I'm know Bill Gates or whatever.

2929
02:43:56,280 --> 02:43:59,199
Speaker 1: But when my business started to work, you know, Harper's

2930
02:43:59,240 --> 02:44:02,800
Speaker 1: and the PTS and all the oh my god, the

2931
02:44:02,879 --> 02:44:06,400
Speaker 1: number of people that it bothered. I'm like, it bothered

2932
02:44:06,440 --> 02:44:11,039
Speaker 1: more people than it made happy. Let's just say that. Yeah,

2933
02:44:11,080 --> 02:44:13,560
Speaker 1: And I just knew I could tell, like, I'm like,

2934
02:44:13,800 --> 02:44:18,080
Speaker 1: but it's not even about you, Like, you don't even

2935
02:44:18,120 --> 02:44:21,720
Speaker 1: do this, you don't even work in this space. But fuck,

2936
02:44:21,760 --> 02:44:24,120
Speaker 1: it bothered people when the thing that a lot of

2937
02:44:24,120 --> 02:44:26,080
Speaker 1: them said wouldn't work or couldn't work, or there's no

2938
02:44:26,200 --> 02:44:29,120
Speaker 1: mark or there's no scope, or the population is not

2939
02:44:29,160 --> 02:44:31,400
Speaker 1: big enough for it's not a thing, it'll come and

2940
02:44:31,440 --> 02:44:33,760
Speaker 1: go there. It's not even an industry, it's not a profession.

2941
02:44:34,080 --> 02:44:36,200
Speaker 1: And I'm like, yep, I get all of that, but

2942
02:44:36,240 --> 02:44:38,240
Speaker 1: I tell you what, I'll just see what happens. And

2943
02:44:38,280 --> 02:44:40,960
Speaker 1: then when it worked, Fuck, nobody came out of the

2944
02:44:40,959 --> 02:44:45,640
Speaker 1: woodwork and said I was wrong. Well done. That's fucking amazing,

2945
02:44:46,200 --> 02:44:50,600
Speaker 1: like nearly nobody, you know, And there's no self pity.

2946
02:44:50,640 --> 02:44:53,520
Speaker 1: That's literally just my story. So I think if you

2947
02:44:53,560 --> 02:44:57,000
Speaker 1: can have people that actually want you to succeed, and

2948
02:44:57,080 --> 02:44:59,879
Speaker 1: I think even for you, I mean you the listener,

2949
02:45:00,280 --> 02:45:05,040
Speaker 1: like I know, for me, hand on heart, when I

2950
02:45:05,320 --> 02:45:08,440
Speaker 1: truly want the best for people, fuck, it makes me

2951
02:45:08,480 --> 02:45:12,039
Speaker 1: a better human. I'm happier, I'm nicer to be around,

2952
02:45:12,600 --> 02:45:14,360
Speaker 1: I'm less of a cunt. I'm going to say it.

2953
02:45:14,840 --> 02:45:17,600
Speaker 1: I'm going to say it out loud. It's like but

2954
02:45:18,080 --> 02:45:21,160
Speaker 1: and I know I oversay this, and I know it's cliche,

2955
02:45:21,280 --> 02:45:23,000
Speaker 1: and I know it's probably going to have little to

2956
02:45:23,000 --> 02:45:26,560
Speaker 1: no impact. But when you really despite all the logic

2957
02:45:26,600 --> 02:45:28,680
Speaker 1: and all the rationale and all the strategy and all

2958
02:45:28,720 --> 02:45:30,959
Speaker 1: the fucking nuance and all the clever words, but when

2959
02:45:31,000 --> 02:45:34,840
Speaker 1: you truly come from a place of love with people.

2960
02:45:35,240 --> 02:45:38,240
Speaker 1: You're like, this is you know, I can't give you

2961
02:45:38,280 --> 02:45:40,640
Speaker 1: everything you need, but I can love you in this way.

2962
02:45:41,400 --> 02:45:44,480
Speaker 1: I can serve you, I can help you in this way.

2963
02:45:45,080 --> 02:45:49,199
Speaker 1: And no, this isn't necessarily romantic love or a cuddle

2964
02:45:49,320 --> 02:45:52,400
Speaker 1: or but this is love because this is me wanting

2965
02:45:52,480 --> 02:45:58,840
Speaker 1: to help you without wanting anything back from you. You know.

2966
02:45:59,000 --> 02:46:03,400
Speaker 1: I think that's that's transformational for both parties. Have you

2967
02:46:03,440 --> 02:46:04,600
Speaker 1: got one more you want to do?

2968
02:46:05,280 --> 02:46:05,520
Speaker 2: One?

2969
02:46:05,720 --> 02:46:07,440
Speaker 4: Final one we're going to go with.

2970
02:46:08,520 --> 02:46:11,480
Speaker 1: Have we told everyone that this is actually the last podcast?

2971
02:46:11,680 --> 02:46:15,000
Speaker 1: We probably should have led with that. That's why it's

2972
02:46:15,000 --> 02:46:16,920
Speaker 1: so long. We want you to be sick of us.

2973
02:46:17,920 --> 02:46:20,640
Speaker 1: I will say, there won't be a podcast up tomorrow,

2974
02:46:20,640 --> 02:46:22,360
Speaker 1: maybe for the next two days, but I'm going to

2975
02:46:22,400 --> 02:46:24,000
Speaker 1: have a break, but this should keep you going for

2976
02:46:24,040 --> 02:46:24,400
Speaker 1: a while.

2977
02:46:25,920 --> 02:46:30,800
Speaker 4: Okay, final one for today? Can you please elaborate on

2978
02:46:32,280 --> 02:46:33,880
Speaker 4: words are a sales pitch?

2979
02:46:34,440 --> 02:46:37,280
Speaker 1: I probably should have said more accurately. Words can be

2980
02:46:37,360 --> 02:46:41,440
Speaker 1: a sales pitch. And as I've said a bunch of times,

2981
02:46:42,560 --> 02:46:45,280
Speaker 1: if you want to know someone well, pay attention to

2982
02:46:45,320 --> 02:46:47,200
Speaker 1: some of what they say and all of what they do.

2983
02:46:48,680 --> 02:46:51,920
Speaker 1: So I think that not all the time of course,

2984
02:46:51,959 --> 02:46:55,520
Speaker 1: but I think oftentimes with people, what's coming out of

2985
02:46:55,520 --> 02:46:59,680
Speaker 1: their mouth is a story or some kind of sales

2986
02:46:59,720 --> 02:47:06,120
Speaker 1: pitch or some kind of attempt to build whatever, a

2987
02:47:06,160 --> 02:47:10,760
Speaker 1: connection or a and it's not necessarily authentic. It's quite strategic.

2988
02:47:12,560 --> 02:47:14,360
Speaker 1: And by the way, I don't think that's terrible. I

2989
02:47:14,360 --> 02:47:18,760
Speaker 1: think we all do that to an extent, but including me,

2990
02:47:19,400 --> 02:47:21,720
Speaker 1: including me, do I ever try to create a good impression,

2991
02:47:21,760 --> 02:47:25,879
Speaker 1: of course, of course. But what I think really matters

2992
02:47:25,920 --> 02:47:30,040
Speaker 1: if we really want to understand people is to pay

2993
02:47:30,080 --> 02:47:33,360
Speaker 1: attention to what they do and how they live, and

2994
02:47:34,200 --> 02:47:36,720
Speaker 1: you know, how they treat people when they don't think

2995
02:47:36,760 --> 02:47:41,000
Speaker 1: they're being watched, and you know, all that kind of ah,

2996
02:47:41,400 --> 02:47:44,400
Speaker 1: and not in a for me like people that I

2997
02:47:44,520 --> 02:47:46,560
Speaker 1: might be going to do some work with, or people

2998
02:47:46,600 --> 02:47:48,800
Speaker 1: that I might be going to spend time with, or

2999
02:47:49,840 --> 02:47:52,960
Speaker 1: I'm not obsessed with that, but I'm just interested in

3000
02:47:54,240 --> 02:47:56,120
Speaker 1: I tell you a few I'll tell you this is

3001
02:47:56,160 --> 02:47:59,400
Speaker 1: a really classic. So there are people that I've quite

3002
02:47:59,680 --> 02:48:04,039
Speaker 1: liked or I've thought pretty highly of them, and I

3003
02:48:04,080 --> 02:48:06,200
Speaker 1: didn't know them well, but you know, and then I

3004
02:48:06,280 --> 02:48:09,320
Speaker 1: met them for a coffee and then they treated the

3005
02:48:09,680 --> 02:48:14,360
Speaker 1: weight staff like shit. Yep, I'm like, that's it. I'm like,

3006
02:48:14,400 --> 02:48:17,760
Speaker 1: you're out. I can't do it. Like they just treated

3007
02:48:17,760 --> 02:48:21,320
Speaker 1: them like they were not on the same level as

3008
02:48:21,440 --> 02:48:26,720
Speaker 1: us to exemplary humans. And I thought, all right, I'll

3009
02:48:26,720 --> 02:48:28,879
Speaker 1: give you one, and then if it happens again, And

3010
02:48:28,920 --> 02:48:31,720
Speaker 1: then when it happens again where they're either rude or

3011
02:48:31,840 --> 02:48:35,920
Speaker 1: arrogant or dismissive to the human that's coming to the

3012
02:48:36,120 --> 02:48:40,040
Speaker 1: table to serve them, I'm like, fuck you, bro, you're out.

3013
02:48:40,120 --> 02:48:41,640
Speaker 1: I don't care what the deal is. I don't care

3014
02:48:41,680 --> 02:48:43,680
Speaker 1: what the offer is. I don't want to work with you.

3015
02:48:43,920 --> 02:48:46,640
Speaker 1: And what's funny is the whole kind of monologue that

3016
02:48:46,640 --> 02:48:49,080
Speaker 1: they're going on with for an hour, the whole sales pitch,

3017
02:48:49,160 --> 02:48:52,560
Speaker 1: the whole kind of trying to create an impression. It's

3018
02:48:52,640 --> 02:48:56,880
Speaker 1: all redundant because of something they had no awareness of. Yes,

3019
02:48:57,080 --> 02:48:59,760
Speaker 1: so all the words just fucking slide down the drain

3020
02:48:59,800 --> 02:49:02,400
Speaker 1: to me and I can't. I'm just trying to from

3021
02:49:02,400 --> 02:49:05,039
Speaker 1: that moment when they treat people like shit, I'm like,

3022
02:49:05,120 --> 02:49:07,400
Speaker 1: this is you, Yeah, this is you.

3023
02:49:07,200 --> 02:49:11,560
Speaker 3: Do you Also found that really apparent is when it

3024
02:49:11,600 --> 02:49:15,720
Speaker 3: comes to other team members or support stuff, like the

3025
02:49:15,720 --> 02:49:18,760
Speaker 3: way they treat the receptionist or the PA or the

3026
02:49:18,879 --> 02:49:21,280
Speaker 3: somebody else in the team that may not hold the

3027
02:49:21,320 --> 02:49:24,840
Speaker 3: position of the person that they're meeting with, everything from

3028
02:49:24,879 --> 02:49:28,040
Speaker 3: when they walk in the door and the whole demeanor

3029
02:49:28,160 --> 02:49:30,520
Speaker 3: changes when the person that they're meeting with, you know,

3030
02:49:30,600 --> 02:49:31,840
Speaker 3: when they're in front of them.

3031
02:49:32,040 --> 02:49:35,240
Speaker 4: Yeah. For me, it's just like, okay, seen it enough?

3032
02:49:35,320 --> 02:49:40,640
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yeah, yeah. I mean, look, you don't want

3033
02:49:40,640 --> 02:49:43,560
Speaker 1: to be too judgy, right, ye, But at the same time,

3034
02:49:43,640 --> 02:49:46,440
Speaker 1: you do want to be aware because what people do

3035
02:49:46,560 --> 02:49:49,360
Speaker 1: tells you a lot, what people do to you, how

3036
02:49:49,400 --> 02:49:52,840
Speaker 1: people treat you or don't treat you, what people kind

3037
02:49:52,840 --> 02:49:55,120
Speaker 1: of you know, their energy around you. And we don't

3038
02:49:55,160 --> 02:49:57,120
Speaker 1: need to be obsessed. And by the way, have I

3039
02:49:57,200 --> 02:50:01,240
Speaker 1: ever been rude or fucking insensitive? Of course, of course.

3040
02:50:01,720 --> 02:50:03,920
Speaker 1: But I just think for us to be aware of

3041
02:50:03,920 --> 02:50:06,880
Speaker 1: that ourselves and our own behavior and the way that

3042
02:50:06,959 --> 02:50:10,600
Speaker 1: we treat people. It's like, am I nicer to people

3043
02:50:11,760 --> 02:50:15,520
Speaker 1: for whom it's valuable for me to be nicer too? Yes,

3044
02:50:15,680 --> 02:50:18,560
Speaker 1: that's a fucking good question. Yeah, because I don't want

3045
02:50:18,560 --> 02:50:18,920
Speaker 1: to be that.

3046
02:50:19,120 --> 02:50:21,200
Speaker 3: I think I don't want to be That A great question,

3047
02:50:21,640 --> 02:50:24,120
Speaker 3: And even back to what you were saying initially, so

3048
02:50:24,200 --> 02:50:27,920
Speaker 3: words are a sales pitch, even my own words, like

3049
02:50:28,240 --> 02:50:31,959
Speaker 3: am I believing them? Like obviously I spend one hundred

3050
02:50:31,959 --> 02:50:34,320
Speaker 3: percent of my time with me, Like how much of

3051
02:50:34,360 --> 02:50:37,520
Speaker 3: what's coming out of my mouth is a reflection of

3052
02:50:38,080 --> 02:50:40,880
Speaker 3: me and what's actually going on?

3053
02:50:41,040 --> 02:50:43,800
Speaker 1: Yes? Do I believe this? Or do I just say it?

3054
02:50:44,000 --> 02:50:45,160
Speaker 4: Yeah? Does it sound good?

3055
02:50:46,040 --> 02:50:50,880
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah? Hey everyone, we appreciate you, We love you.

3056
02:50:50,959 --> 02:50:54,720
Speaker 1: We are so happy that you've come on this journey

3057
02:50:54,720 --> 02:50:59,240
Speaker 1: with us. We'll probably do another episode, so, you know,

3058
02:50:59,320 --> 02:51:03,920
Speaker 1: hang around and for putting up with me and all

3059
02:51:03,959 --> 02:51:08,760
Speaker 1: my bullshit, my terrible jokes, my vulgar language, you know,

3060
02:51:09,000 --> 02:51:12,840
Speaker 1: my constant talk about shit and other bodily functions. But

3061
02:51:12,879 --> 02:51:15,560
Speaker 1: there's a small percentage of you who think I'm fucking great,

3062
02:51:16,280 --> 02:51:18,400
Speaker 1: what the fuck is wrong with you? But keep thinking

3063
02:51:18,400 --> 02:51:21,320
Speaker 1: that I'm very needy And for the rest of you,

3064
02:51:21,760 --> 02:51:24,200
Speaker 1: I don't know why you're still here, but also very

3065
02:51:24,240 --> 02:51:28,320
Speaker 1: grateful and very appreciative. Probably stick around for Tiff and

3066
02:51:28,360 --> 02:51:31,960
Speaker 1: maybe Melissa now, but yeah, thank you for helping us

3067
02:51:32,080 --> 02:51:34,879
Speaker 1: over the journey. And I would really encourage you to

3068
02:51:35,160 --> 02:51:38,720
Speaker 1: jump on our Facebook page and tell us that you

3069
02:51:38,760 --> 02:51:42,600
Speaker 1: want Melissa to be a regular and by that look. Okay,

3070
02:51:42,640 --> 02:51:45,080
Speaker 1: can we just negotiate. I know you don't want to

3071
02:51:45,120 --> 02:51:47,240
Speaker 1: bit fuck it while I've got you held ransom here

3072
02:51:47,240 --> 02:51:52,600
Speaker 1: while we're recording. How about one a month? Okay, one

3073
02:51:52,640 --> 02:51:56,040
Speaker 1: a month, and by one I mean one a week.

3074
02:51:57,920 --> 02:52:03,240
Speaker 1: Let's buy one I mean three. All right, we'll talk

3075
02:52:03,280 --> 02:52:07,000
Speaker 1: about it. Thanks Melissa, everybody, Thanks everyone,