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Speaker 1: Apologie Production.

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Speaker 2: Growing Glows Twelve Days of Christmas.

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Speaker 3: Hello everybody, welcome back to Growing Glow.

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Speaker 2: Yet another twelve days of Christmas, and today is very sexy.

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Speaker 2: I'm talking to a sexologist, which I know so many

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Speaker 2: of you have requested and asked for so long, and

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Speaker 2: we have the beautiful Kiki coming on today.

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Speaker 3: So welcome to the show.

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Speaker 4: Thank you, thank you for having me. Happy to be here.

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Speaker 2: I'd love for you to just tell us a little

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Speaker 2: bit about who you are and the kind of work

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Speaker 2: that you do, and maybe more specifically who you do

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Speaker 2: work with as well.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so I am as you mentioned as sexologists. I

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Speaker 1: just realized it's coming up to my businesses ten a

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Speaker 1: year birthday next year.

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Speaker 4: So I've been well in the fool. Yeah, I've been

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Speaker 4: in the field for.

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Speaker 1: A while now and the thing that I guess lights

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Speaker 1: me up the most is.

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Speaker 4: Getting people to feel comfortable and confident in their bodies, in.

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Speaker 1: Their desires, in communicating what their desires are, and just yeah,

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Speaker 1: showing up authentically in their sexuality.

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Speaker 4: However, the thing that takes up most of my.

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Speaker 1: Time at the moment is my school. I teach people

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Speaker 1: to become Semitic sex coaches. And therapeutic. You're only massage practitioners,

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Speaker 1: so I have a bunch of students at any one time,

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Speaker 1: and that's where most of my focus goes. But I

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Speaker 1: still love one on one sessions. I love doing retreats

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Speaker 1: and workshops and yeah, that's just a little bit about me.

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Speaker 4: I love talking about it.

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Speaker 1: I love normalizing sexuality and having these conversations that are

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Speaker 1: a little bit tricky for us in a sex negative society.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I didn't realize how much you did.

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Speaker 2: That's so freaking cool. And like a retreat, what happens

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Speaker 2: at a retreat based around this.

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Speaker 1: There will be some embodiment practices, getting people to feel

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Speaker 1: comfortable in their bodies, regulating their nervous system, getting them

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Speaker 1: to feel nice and safe. We might do things like

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Speaker 1: drawing our volva, or orgasmic breath work, or nudio yoga

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Speaker 1: or a yoni casting, or the possibilities that endless. It

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Speaker 1: really depends on what's lighting me up in the moment

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Speaker 1: and what people are wanting to explore and experience.

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Speaker 3: So beautiful.

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Speaker 2: I actually had a yoni massage, my first one booked

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Speaker 2: in but I'm on blood thinness because I had brain

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Speaker 2: surgery this year, and I was drue for my period,

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Speaker 2: so I've had to postpone it. But I've recently just

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Speaker 2: been learning about it, and it's just seems so incredible

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Speaker 2: how healing it can be for women to have a

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Speaker 2: beautiful YEARNI massage.

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Speaker 3: That's really cool that that's a part of the work

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Speaker 3: you do as well.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's I think one of the most like potent

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Speaker 1: somatic experiences that people can have in reclaiming their body

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Speaker 1: and really understanding what their yes is, what their nose

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Speaker 1: are and honoring that and yeah, also massaging out tension, pain, numbness,

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Speaker 1: and mapping out where their own unique pleasure profile is.

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Speaker 1: So it is like, yeah, such an incredibly like direct

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Speaker 1: sort of streamline and really quick way to move through

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Speaker 1: a lot of blockages around sexuality.

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Speaker 3: So freaking cool.

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Speaker 2: Now, when I came to you, I was like, there's

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Speaker 2: so much we can talk about, but you gave me

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Speaker 2: a list of things that we could cover, and one

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Speaker 2: of them was desire types. So I know nothing about this,

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Speaker 2: and I'm guessing a lot of my listeners don't either,

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Speaker 2: So what is desire types?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean this is probably the reason I sort

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Speaker 1: of reached out with this topic is because it isn't

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Speaker 1: so well known. However, it is a game changer when

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Speaker 1: we start to understand what desire types are. So the

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Speaker 1: two different types that we speak about are responsive desire

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Speaker 1: and spontaneous desire. Spontaneous desire is sort of, you know,

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Speaker 1: in the name, it's spontaneously you feel the desire for sex,

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Speaker 1: which is the precursor to our sexual experiences, is actually

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Speaker 1: wanting to do it, you know. And it's something that

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Speaker 1: was really ignored for a really long time in the

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Speaker 1: field of sexuality, but in recent years it's become more

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Speaker 1: apparent that it's a really important part of our sexuality.

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Speaker 1: And some really lucky people they have spontaneous desire, or

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Speaker 1: they experience more spontaneous desire than a responsive desire, meaning

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Speaker 1: that kind of at the drop of the hat, out

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Speaker 1: of nowhere, they're just down for it whenever, wherever, a

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Speaker 1: lot of the time. Whereas, on the other hand, we

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Speaker 1: have responsive desire, which means a person needs to have

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Speaker 1: some kind of context or experience or feeling to respond

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Speaker 1: to to actually feel desire for sex.

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Speaker 4: And when we look.

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Speaker 1: At statistics, predominantly female bodied people have responsive desire, and

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Speaker 1: predominantly male bodied people have spontaneous desire. That's not the

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Speaker 1: case all the time for everybody, or it's not always

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Speaker 1: the same for everybody throughout their entire sexual experience and

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Speaker 1: history and life, but that's kind of what we see

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Speaker 1: and when we see sexuality demonstrated in pornography or on movies,

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Speaker 1: it's very much the go to is the spontaneous desire,

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Speaker 1: that there's this just kind of like cool, yeah, we're ready,

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Speaker 1: let's go for it. I feel like having sex just

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Speaker 1: because you do. Whereas that's just not always the case

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Speaker 1: a lot of the time, especially for female bodied people.

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Speaker 1: Then needs to be some kind of feeling, emotion, touch, context, yeah,

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Speaker 1: connection something. Maybe it might be massage, it might be bacticles,

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Speaker 1: it might be a.

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Speaker 4: Really clean room.

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Speaker 1: It might be that there's some kind of erotica playing

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Speaker 1: or some kind of initiation of erotic intimacy to be

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Speaker 1: able to respond to it and feel like, oh, actually,

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Speaker 1: I feel like.

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Speaker 4: Doing that now.

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Speaker 1: However, in the beginning of the relationship, usually speaking, because

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Speaker 1: where it's so loved up on neurochemicals, neurotransmitters, and hormones,

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Speaker 1: we are more likely to have spontaneous desire because our

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Speaker 1: sexual inhibitors are less sensitive, and so that's where we

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Speaker 1: can see it change from the beginning the honeymoon phase

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Speaker 1: slowly changed throughout the sexual cycle. However, a lot of people,

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Speaker 1: also male and female body people do tend to have

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Speaker 1: more responsive desire as they go through the long term relationship.

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Speaker 4: But our societal sort of messaging does sort of impact that.

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Speaker 1: In that male bodied people are expected to always want

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Speaker 1: to have sex, so that can sort of influence the

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Speaker 1: way that they show up in their sexuality.

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Speaker 4: So it's a little bit nuanced.

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Speaker 1: There are different aspects there, but that's kind of the idea,

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Speaker 1: and the science behind desire types.

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Speaker 2: Makes so much sense. And as you're explaining this, I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I got a little bit jealous of those people that

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Speaker 2: are the spontaneous one. I would love to be that

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Speaker 2: just be like down for whenever. And I do have

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Speaker 2: some girlfriends that I feel like are down for it whatever,

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Speaker 2: but most of my female friends it, Yeah, it takes

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Speaker 2: a lot of for play. There's got to be a

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Speaker 2: lot of connection, there would be a lot of safety.

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Speaker 3: The kids got to be.

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Speaker 2: In bed, there's got to be a clean house, the

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Speaker 2: mental loads off, like it's this quite a big list really, yeah, exactly, Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I'm the same grows. My husband has spontaneous to I.

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Speaker 1: So whenever wherever it's on the cards.

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Speaker 2: You just walk past and he's like, yep, ready, Oh

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Speaker 2: that's so funny. And there's desire discrepancy, So what is that.

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Speaker 4: Yes, that's a really good segue.

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Speaker 1: So for my partner and I, we have desire discrepancy,

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Speaker 1: probably because I have responsive desire and my partner has

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Speaker 1: spontaneous desire. There's that discrepancy there that my partner would

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Speaker 1: like to have sex multiple times a day if possible,

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Speaker 1: whereas for me it's not so often. So we see

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Speaker 1: in couples there might be one person that would like

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Speaker 1: to have sex, you know, three, four times a week

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Speaker 1: or every day, and then there are other people that

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Speaker 1: are happy to have sex one to two times a month,

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Speaker 1: and so there's a huge discrepancy there, which can cause

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Speaker 1: a lot of issues in a relationship when it comes

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Speaker 1: to sexuality, a lot of feelings of being rejected, not

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Speaker 1: feeling like there is intimacy or even the safety to

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Speaker 1: explore non penetrative intimacy, if you know, it feels like,

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Speaker 1: oh if I make out with my partner, then they're

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Speaker 1: just going to want to have sex, so I may

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Speaker 1: as well just not make out with them.

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Speaker 4: So it's not talked.

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Speaker 1: About, and there isn't a plan in the mix for

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Speaker 1: everybody to feel happy and safe to have intimacy and connection,

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Speaker 1: whatever that will look like for each individual couple. Then

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Speaker 1: it tends to sort of get swept under the rug

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Speaker 1: and these issues start to really evolve and really dominate

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Speaker 1: in the relationship and bring on issues that wouldn't necessarily

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Speaker 1: be there without the communication piece.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you can see how if someone is wanting it

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Speaker 2: three four times a day or like a week or

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Speaker 2: whatever and they're not getting that, how they would feel rejected.

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Speaker 3: We'd talk about male to female.

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Speaker 2: If the female was more responsive, she doesn't then want

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Speaker 2: to Sorry, I'm gonna swear, but like pityfuck them all

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Speaker 2: the time, because then that wouldn't feel good for her

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Speaker 2: or for him. So how do couples like, how do

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Speaker 2: you help? I'm sure you have couples come and say

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Speaker 2: this exact situation. My husband wants it all the time.

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Speaker 2: I want it once a week. We're arguing. There's resentment

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Speaker 2: and it's just causing this, like you.

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Speaker 3: Know, friction.

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Speaker 2: I suppose how do you help them, I suppose compromise

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Speaker 2: or meet in the middle, like help, what do couples

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Speaker 2: do if they're in that situation?

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Speaker 1: There oftentimes needs to be a huge unlearning of what

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Speaker 1: sex actually is, because at the end of the day,

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Speaker 1: pleasure is some thing we all enjoy where a pleasure

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Speaker 1: driven species. And so if the sex that's been put

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Speaker 1: on the table isn't something that's just solely focused on

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Speaker 1: pleasure for both individuals, then the person where it isn't

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Speaker 1: pleasurable for if they have sort of just grinned and

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Speaker 1: bed it, tolerated, sort of you know, faked things to

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Speaker 1: get through it, then they are not going to want

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Speaker 1: to have it. And so what we do is we

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Speaker 1: take penetrative sex off the table for a little bit,

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Speaker 1: we put a little pause on it, and we explore

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Speaker 1: what pleasure filled intimacy can look like for this couple

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Speaker 1: and what that looks like for them individually and what

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Speaker 1: that looks like for them together, and how they can

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Speaker 1: come to a place of actually both being excited about

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Speaker 1: the intimacy.

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Speaker 4: It's a huge unlearning.

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Speaker 1: Because sex does equal penetration, sex does equal orgasm in

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Speaker 1: so many different people's cognition of their belief around what

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Speaker 1: sexuality is and so deconstructing that can take a lot

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Speaker 1: of time, but it's one of the best things that

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Speaker 1: we do. And then what we find is people can

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Speaker 1: start to realize, oh, actually, of course somewhere to want

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Speaker 1: to like be intimate with you if it means you're

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Speaker 1: going to do this to me, or if it means

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Speaker 1: that I can just do this, or if it means

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Speaker 1: I can watch you being like this, you know, And

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Speaker 1: so having those conversations getting really vulnerable about what their

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Speaker 1: needs are. Scheduling in sexy sessions together is also really

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Speaker 1: important because for the person who has a lower desire

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Speaker 1: for whatever reason, you know, that sexuality it's kind of

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Speaker 1: like on a spectrum from super highly sexual to asexual,

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Speaker 1: and people can sit anywhere on that and it can

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Speaker 1: change throughout their lifetime, throughout different experiences, throughout pregnancy, postpardon, grief,

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Speaker 1: having a lost one, health issues, hormonal issues, menopause, you know,

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Speaker 1: all of these things really contribute to our sexuality and

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Speaker 1: our desire for sex. And so regardless of where somebody

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Speaker 1: is on that spectrum, if they aren't wanting to have

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Speaker 1: sex as much as their partner, then scheduling in a

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Speaker 1: time it feels right for that couple to explore together

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Speaker 1: is one of the best ways for them to make

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Speaker 1: sure they're actually having their needs met. Otherwise, the person

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Speaker 1: who isn't feeling it as much isn't going to think

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Speaker 1: about it as much as the other partner, and then

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Speaker 1: it just sort of gets forgotten, and the other partner

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Speaker 1: doesn't want to feel as that they're pushing or having

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Speaker 1: any expectations, or that their touch isn't being misread. So

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Speaker 1: it's really nice to sort of sit down and have

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Speaker 1: a schedule. I think some people can shy away from

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Speaker 1: it because they think, oh, no, like that sounds very

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Speaker 1: clinical and like there's something wrong with us and it's

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Speaker 1: not spontaneous and it's not fine anymore. But the thing

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Speaker 1: is when we have sort of like a container to

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Speaker 1: work within, then it allows so much freedom because it's like, okay, cool,

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Speaker 1: I know that at this time and this day, like

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Speaker 1: we're going to just have fun together and whatever that's

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Speaker 1: going to look like versus there's not going to be

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Speaker 1: that asking for it at the wrong time, or it

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Speaker 1: takes away a lot of the guesswork. When we have

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Speaker 1: these open communication dynamics between couples.

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Speaker 2: I absolutely love that I've spoken about on the podcast before,

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Speaker 2: about scheduled sex, and there was a lot of pushback

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Speaker 2: of people saying that, like, oh, it takes the fun

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Speaker 2: out of it, Like, you know, I feel like it

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Speaker 2: shouldn't be like that. But I think as parents too,

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Speaker 2: like I've got two children, and yes, when we were

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Speaker 2: younger and we had more time and no kids around,

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Speaker 2: we could do it whenever, whenever. But now it's like

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Speaker 2: on the weekends when our little girl naps, like we

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Speaker 2: have a whole two hours we can just be together, connect, chat,

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Speaker 2: be intimate, not being a rush, not worried that someone's

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Speaker 2: gonna come in, like it's just our time, and it

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Speaker 2: doesn't feel less enjoyable because I know that's when we

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Speaker 2: do it.

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Speaker 3: I actually really look forward to it.

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Speaker 2: Whereas if we didn't lock in that time, then I

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Speaker 2: don't know if we ever would, because you know, we

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Speaker 2: are tired and we are busy and life gets in

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Speaker 2: the way. So I'm totally all for that. I love

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Speaker 2: the unexpected ones when they happen and we both happened

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Speaker 2: to be in the mood and it's exciting and we

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Speaker 2: feel like little kid, you know, young again.

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Speaker 3: But I think booking it in is really beautiful.

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Speaker 4: As well, exactly. And that's the thing.

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Speaker 1: When you do book it in and make it a priority,

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Speaker 1: you're probably going to be having more yummy sex that

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Speaker 1: you'll want. Those moments are going to be more likely

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Speaker 1: because it's kind of like a muscle that you're using,

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Speaker 1: and so just sort of dying in the ohs and

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Speaker 1: not being bored in practice, and that intimacy isn't cultivated,

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Speaker 1: then you know it's something there, it's fresh, it's present,

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Speaker 1: and so it's kind of like yum, like last.

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Speaker 4: Night was so good, Like what more of that?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly exactly, And you're right, like, we live in

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Speaker 1: such a fast paced society now, it's so much focus

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Speaker 1: on productivity, So why would we just expect that this

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Speaker 1: is going to happen when everything else is scheduled in.

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Speaker 1: We're not fifteen sixteen, however old eighteen anymore. We're not

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Speaker 1: you know, carefree just having like some many of us

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Speaker 1: aren't living that lifestyle where we could just have sex

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Speaker 1: whenever and feel like we're ready for it going essentially

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Speaker 1: asking ourselves to go from one hundred to zero instantly.

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Speaker 4: That's just not a reality.

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Speaker 1: And so yeah, this sooner we can kind of get

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Speaker 1: on board that what's actually happening as adults in our

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Speaker 1: sexuality the better.

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Speaker 3: So good.

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Speaker 2: Something's just come up for me that I think I've

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Speaker 2: seen a lot in I'm in a forum, it's all women.

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Speaker 2: There's a lot in there. And when this kind of

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Speaker 2: situation comes up with their partners wanting more sex, a

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Speaker 2: lot of men are going to porn to get their

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Speaker 2: needs fulfilled and to get off and whatever, and then

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Speaker 2: the partner's upset and jealous, and then he's like, well,

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Speaker 2: you're not giving it to me, and then this year

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Speaker 2: the pity fox.

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Speaker 3: Him and it's just yucky.

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Speaker 2: Watch your thoughts on porn in general, because from what

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Speaker 2: I've read, it creates like a false sense of reality

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Speaker 2: to a woman's experience or what it should be. And

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Speaker 2: the men expect then their partner to be how the

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Speaker 2: porn stars are, and it's not really like that, right.

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Speaker 1: It is not like that they are actors. I am

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Speaker 1: super passionate about this topic. I love that it is

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Speaker 1: something that's being talked about more and more now. I

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Speaker 1: think that porn can be done in a way that

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Speaker 1: is a healthy, safe, ethical contribution to somebody's sexuality. It

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Speaker 1: doesn't always have to be something that's negative and poo pooed.

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Speaker 1: I just think that the ease of it means that

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Speaker 1: there are a lot of people creating unhealthy habits with pawn.

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Speaker 1: So if the pawn, for example, is the female based

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Speaker 1: pawn company and it's created for the female gaze, then

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Speaker 1: there is going to be foot play, there are going

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Speaker 1: to be angles that are realistic and sounds that you'd

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Speaker 1: actually hear, and it's not going to be performative. And

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Speaker 1: then if somebody is wanting to explore their pleasure with pawn,

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Speaker 1: then doing it in a way that isn't like just

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Speaker 1: sitting in front of a computer and having a real

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Speaker 1: quick jerk and getting it over and done with. Because

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Speaker 1: we've seen that this has contributed towards rapid ejaculation, which

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Speaker 1: then really impacts a relationship as well when they're having

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Speaker 1: sex with a real person or a rectile disappointment. So

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Speaker 1: there can be some sexual dysfunction that can come from

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Speaker 1: overusing or misusing porn, whereas if somebody is just you know,

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Speaker 1: there's some erotica on TV and they're standing up and

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Speaker 1: they're like moving their body and they're really getting into

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Speaker 1: that there breathing and they're edging and they're feeling themselves

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Speaker 1: and they are, so you know, just not fastwarding to

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Speaker 1: the sexy bit and clicking between different people and creating

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Speaker 1: very much and not real experience. Then I think it

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Speaker 1: can be done in an ethical way, and it's super

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Speaker 1: sexy to create porn with each other and for each

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Speaker 1: other as well. I know for people who do feel

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Speaker 1: that jealousy, which is totally valid. Some people don't, some

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Speaker 1: people do, And for the people who do, I recommend

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Speaker 1: like making some yummies, sensual content, doing some self portraiture,

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Speaker 1: getting some laingderie, getting into your feels, and like gifting

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Speaker 1: that to your partner so that, yeah, you don't have

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Speaker 1: to show up all of the time in that erotic

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Speaker 1: space if you're feeling less desireing and you're not feeling

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Speaker 1: you when have sex as often, but then you know,

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Speaker 1: having something for the partner to be able to use

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Speaker 1: in that regard.

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Speaker 2: I love what you said about how something's on the

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Speaker 2: screen and there's four play and they're feeling their bodies

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Speaker 2: and they're breeding. I feel like it's different. But I

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Speaker 2: love a good sexy romance novel because I feel like

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Speaker 2: you get that big build up. Yeah, like playing in

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Speaker 2: your head and then your picture with your partner, and

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Speaker 2: that to me is like massive foreplay. My husband's always like,

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Speaker 2: I know you're reading a good book right now, like yes,

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Speaker 2: come here.

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Speaker 3: Exactly.

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Speaker 4: And that's what's missing in porn. And that's what most

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Speaker 4: male body people are learning.

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Speaker 1: From a really young age that suddenly there's this woman

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Speaker 1: they're ready for you gagging for.

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Speaker 4: It's so excited immediately gagging.

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Speaker 3: That's just not the fucking reality. It's literally, no.

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Speaker 4: High, it's not.

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Speaker 1: And so of course they're going to feel rejected if

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Speaker 1: they're like, well, why is she gagging for this guy

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Speaker 1: on the porno? But for me, she's just like ah no,

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Speaker 1: rub my back, like.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, oh my gosh. It's such a good way to

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Speaker 3: put it.

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Speaker 2: I feel like everyone listening is going to be like, yes,

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Speaker 2: thank you, I've got one more question that I feel like,

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Speaker 2: once again, I see in forums. I talk to a

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Speaker 2: lot of women in my DMS. Obviously no sex ologists,

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Speaker 2: but I feel like I'm a safe place if people

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Speaker 2: ask me a lot of questions, and I feel like

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Speaker 2: so many women are struggling with low libido and I'm

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Speaker 2: assuming stresses. Massive contributor to that, But what advice would

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Speaker 2: you have for women who feel like they just have

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Speaker 2: no libido or low libido. They look at their partner

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Speaker 2: they want to do it, but they're just like they

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Speaker 2: just don't want to.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and you know, I just, first and foremost want

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Speaker 4: to normalize it.

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Speaker 1: Sexuality is fed to us as if it's something we

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Speaker 1: need to survive, just like food and water and touch,

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Speaker 1: whereas it.

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Speaker 4: Really is, it's a leisurely activity we get.

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Speaker 1: To enjoy in the way that we want to enjoy it.

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Speaker 1: It's not something we need to survive. And so I

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Speaker 1: feel like people feel like they're broken or there's something

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Speaker 1: wrong with them. However, we do live in a society

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Speaker 1: that doesn't support female wooded people, and the work that

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Speaker 1: we do, as much as it should, doesn't support our

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Speaker 1: cyclic nature. You know, we do a nine to five,

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Speaker 1: five day a week work week, which is going straight

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Speaker 1: throughout periods, going straight through the pre menstrual phase, and

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Speaker 1: you know, this linear way of living doesn't support our

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Speaker 1: bodies and our hormones. And it makes sense that so

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Speaker 1: many people aren't feeling that desire that maybe they did

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Speaker 1: when they were younger and they didn't have as many issues.

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Speaker 4: Day to day life.

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00:19:09,561 --> 00:19:12,561
Speaker 1: So what I like to talk about in this situation

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Speaker 1: is looking at libido as desire and then creating something

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Speaker 1: that you do desire. Libido can kind of feel like

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Speaker 1: this enigmatic, really.

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Speaker 4: Like tricky, like I can't quite touch it. I can't

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Speaker 4: put my finger on it.

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Speaker 3: Where is it?

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Speaker 4: Whereas desire, it's.

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Speaker 1: Like okay, cool, yeah, I know, like I know what

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Speaker 1: it feels like to desire, Like I desire a huge

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Speaker 1: bottle pasta with whatever yummy sauce.

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Speaker 4: I desire that.

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Speaker 1: You know, I desire sun on my skin. Okay, what

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Speaker 1: in my sexuality do I desire? And how can I

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Speaker 1: make that happen? And so when we talk about sees

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Speaker 1: and our sis, our sexual excitatory response, it's like our accelerator.

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Speaker 1: It's the thing that turns us on sexually and lights

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Speaker 1: us up and engages our arousal. And we have our

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Speaker 1: sexual inhibitory response or systems.

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Speaker 4: So it's like our breaks in our sexuality.

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Speaker 1: So the things that make us say no, and you know,

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Speaker 1: we need to have both of these systems.

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Speaker 4: We can't be walking around ready to fuck whenever.

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Speaker 1: I wish, but no, no, there are times and places

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Speaker 1: for it, so you know, if you're out to your

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Speaker 1: family dinner, you're probably not going to feel super.

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Speaker 4: Sexy and wanting to have sex.

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Speaker 1: Whereas, yeah, watching a yummy movie or listening to erotica, Yeah,

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00:20:19,001 --> 00:20:22,400
Speaker 1: your sexual excitatory system or response, it's going to be activated.

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Speaker 1: And so to sort of bring it down a little

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Speaker 1: bit more easy to digest, we're looking at our accelerators

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Speaker 1: and our breaks, and we want to see what are

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Speaker 1: our breaks and how can we take our foot off

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Speaker 1: the break a little bit, and what are our accelerators,

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Speaker 1: and how can we make our accelerators a little bit

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Speaker 1: more sensitive, because that is going to help us engage

437
00:20:41,120 --> 00:20:44,481
Speaker 1: and activate and connect in with our desire more. Say,

438
00:20:44,521 --> 00:20:48,521
Speaker 1: for example, a messy house, dirty teeth, noisy kids, that's

439
00:20:48,521 --> 00:20:51,080
Speaker 1: probably going to hit your brakes. So how can you

440
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:53,561
Speaker 1: create an environment to respond to that doesn't have all

441
00:20:53,561 --> 00:20:56,360
Speaker 1: of these things going on? What are your exciters? What

442
00:20:56,481 --> 00:21:00,880
Speaker 1: accelerates your sexual response? Is it having a yummy sense?

443
00:21:00,961 --> 00:21:03,281
Speaker 1: Is it having yummy fab bricks? Are you a central person?

444
00:21:03,321 --> 00:21:06,400
Speaker 1: Are you a kinky person being some different like kinky

445
00:21:06,441 --> 00:21:08,280
Speaker 1: things around that you can play with. Is that going

446
00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:10,321
Speaker 1: to help you a little bit of power play through

447
00:21:10,321 --> 00:21:12,961
Speaker 1: the day? So it's so different for everybody, their own

448
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:16,801
Speaker 1: unique erotic blueprint and what lights them up. And some

449
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:20,440
Speaker 1: people have really sensitive breaks and really sensitive accelerators, so

450
00:21:20,441 --> 00:21:22,840
Speaker 1: they might get really turned on easily, but also turned

451
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:25,561
Speaker 1: off really easily. Some people might have not so sensitive

452
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:29,441
Speaker 1: breaks like my husband and really sensitive accelerators, or the opposite,

453
00:21:29,441 --> 00:21:32,801
Speaker 1: They might have really sensitive breaks and then to put

454
00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:35,201
Speaker 1: the foot down on the accelerator, it's not so sensitive.

455
00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:37,481
Speaker 4: So finding what that.

456
00:21:37,521 --> 00:21:40,681
Speaker 1: Means to you uniquely as an individual, because everybody, as

457
00:21:40,681 --> 00:21:44,120
Speaker 1: I said, is super different, and writing out your own

458
00:21:44,241 --> 00:21:48,241
Speaker 1: unique pleasure menu or what lights you up, and then

459
00:21:48,321 --> 00:21:50,440
Speaker 1: making sure you're having a little bit of taste of

460
00:21:50,481 --> 00:21:53,321
Speaker 1: the menu as often as you can. More and more

461
00:21:53,360 --> 00:21:57,281
Speaker 1: pleasure breeds more pleasure and turn on and desire the break,

462
00:21:57,360 --> 00:21:59,801
Speaker 1: Seeing where you can navigate those breaks, What can you

463
00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:01,961
Speaker 1: take out, what can you remove or can you outsource?

464
00:22:02,001 --> 00:22:04,201
Speaker 1: What can you ask of your partner or can you

465
00:22:04,281 --> 00:22:07,080
Speaker 1: implement to make your breaks less sensitive?

466
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:12,480
Speaker 2: Wow, so much incredible information. Thank you so much. That

467
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:16,720
Speaker 2: was so informative. I'm sure there's only so many women listening,

468
00:22:16,721 --> 00:22:19,361
Speaker 2: and even myself like, yeah, where can we find you?

469
00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:21,041
Speaker 2: You've got retreats coming out tell us a little bit

470
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Speaker 2: more about how we could work with you and learn

471
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Speaker 2: from you more.

472
00:22:23,360 --> 00:22:23,640
Speaker 1: Yeah.

473
00:22:23,681 --> 00:22:24,001
Speaker 4: Sure.

474
00:22:24,321 --> 00:22:28,361
Speaker 1: So I have a bunch of free information and education

475
00:22:28,481 --> 00:22:32,521
Speaker 1: on my Instagram at Your Delicious. I am super passionate

476
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Speaker 1: about this, so I'm sharing things all the time.

477
00:22:34,360 --> 00:22:36,081
Speaker 4: People are always saying like, why do you share all

478
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Speaker 4: this but free?

479
00:22:36,921 --> 00:22:40,400
Speaker 1: But I just feel everyone deserves to have access to real,

480
00:22:40,721 --> 00:22:44,760
Speaker 1: good quality sex education, So you can find me there. Otherwise,

481
00:22:45,001 --> 00:22:47,481
Speaker 1: on my website, I have a bunch of freebies there

482
00:22:47,521 --> 00:22:50,400
Speaker 1: as well that can get people started, So things like

483
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Speaker 1: a seven day Yuni Love Challenge where they go on

484
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Speaker 1: a journey of loving how their volver looks and tastes

485
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Speaker 1: and smells and really empowering stuff through there. Otherwise, I

486
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Speaker 1: have an erotic map where you get to learn what

487
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Speaker 1: your own unique erotic map that's also free. Beyond there,

488
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Speaker 1: it's all sort of bundled in one free called the

489
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Speaker 1: Pleasure Pot.

490
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Speaker 4: Next year, in February on the.

491
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:15,041
Speaker 1: Gold Coast, I will have a paint, sip pole and

492
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Speaker 1: pussy power workshop with a couple of hours wow fun,

493
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Speaker 1: I'm coming, Yes, yes, come along, It'll be at ga.

494
00:23:22,041 --> 00:23:24,240
Speaker 1: I will for all of my other stuff, like I

495
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Speaker 1: have something like I don't know, fifty recorded programs that

496
00:23:27,681 --> 00:23:30,840
Speaker 1: are bundled altogether for either couples or singles or both

497
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:33,441
Speaker 1: at really affordable prices on my website as well, which

498
00:23:33,481 --> 00:23:36,600
Speaker 1: is unu listis dot com dot au. Also, yeah, if

499
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Speaker 1: somebody wants to hire me for like a hen's party

500
00:23:39,241 --> 00:23:42,280
Speaker 1: or a workshop with girlfriends, or even just like an

501
00:23:42,360 --> 00:23:45,120
Speaker 1: education piece at their work they're feeling like this kind

502
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:47,840
Speaker 1: of stuff is going to help their workplace, then I'm

503
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Speaker 1: also available for hire for that and guests speaking and

504
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Speaker 1: things like that as well.

505
00:23:52,041 --> 00:23:54,961
Speaker 2: Amazing. Oh, I'm sure we all cross paths again soon.

506
00:23:55,001 --> 00:23:59,321
Speaker 2: That's so exciting. Thank you, so so much, thank you,

507
00:23:59,360 --> 00:24:00,120
Speaker 2: thank you, Kigi