WEBVTT - Why do we think the school years will be easier? 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:02.719 It feels depressing. You're like, I get these four weeks 0:00:02.759 --> 0:00:05.320 that's meant to be joyful every year to myself where 0:00:05.320 --> 0:00:06.960 I feel like I can take a break from work 0:00:07.120 --> 0:00:10.000 and then you go to parent in that time in 0:00:10.039 --> 0:00:12.959 the monday and everyday life. Yes, and you're like, wow, 0:00:13.280 --> 0:00:15.239 no one got a break here. Yeah, I don't feel 0:00:15.280 --> 0:00:16.640 like I'm being a break again. 0:00:17.160 --> 0:00:18.000 The two things are true. 0:00:18.079 --> 0:00:20.279 We love our kids, but it's still it's not having 0:00:20.320 --> 0:00:21.160 a holiday altogether. 0:00:21.280 --> 0:00:23.320 Yeah, which is what people deserve to do as a Yes. 0:00:24.360 --> 0:00:26.880 This podcast was recorded on the lands of the boon 0:00:26.920 --> 0:00:29.800 Warong people of the Kulin Nation, the land on which 0:00:29.800 --> 0:00:32.680 we're lucky enough to raise our sons and daughters, always 0:00:32.880 --> 0:00:35.200 was and always will be Aboriginal Land. 0:00:35.440 --> 0:00:38.040 Hello, and welcome to Ready or Not, the show where 0:00:38.080 --> 0:00:40.560 two mums try to figure out how to make work work. 0:00:40.760 --> 0:00:41.320 I'm low and. 0:00:42.200 --> 0:00:45.240 Coming off on today's show. Moms need to be honest 0:00:45.280 --> 0:00:47.200 about the toll of school years lots. 0:00:47.280 --> 0:00:48.159 You're bringing that to me. 0:00:48.600 --> 0:00:50.920 I've already learned so much about school years from you, 0:00:51.200 --> 0:00:54.400 so this will keep me humbled, I think, and then 0:00:54.600 --> 0:00:57.120 me to you. If we could start from scratch, what 0:00:57.160 --> 0:01:01.320 would a genuinely feminist care ecosystem. Look like I recently 0:01:01.760 --> 0:01:04.440 presented on this symposium thing. It's not even a word 0:01:04.440 --> 0:01:07.920 that's really my vernacular. But anyway, and we posted about 0:01:07.959 --> 0:01:09.600 it in like one of our social media wrap ups, 0:01:09.600 --> 0:01:11.920 and one of our listeners said, can lou do that 0:01:12.000 --> 0:01:12.680 as a segment? 0:01:12.720 --> 0:01:14.959 And I say thank you, because I've already read it 0:01:15.000 --> 0:01:18.160 and I would love to prepurpose some grant. So that's 0:01:18.240 --> 0:01:20.319 me to you. But first, what's been happening? 0:01:20.480 --> 0:01:24.639 Okay, a couple of things. Maternal Instinct on Netflix, fu. 0:01:26.880 --> 0:01:30.800 Devoured? Do I have to watch it? Oh? My holy god? Yes? 0:01:30.920 --> 0:01:33.479 Would Haten like it? Yes? Yeah? Like it's a bit through, 0:01:33.480 --> 0:01:34.520 it sleeps through. 0:01:35.800 --> 0:01:37.679 I mean anything comes on. He's asleep, but he is 0:01:38.000 --> 0:01:40.600 that good? That's okay. 0:01:40.600 --> 0:01:42.200 What can you tell me a little bit more about it? 0:01:43.280 --> 0:01:47.080 Just not it's unbelievable. It's about a compulsive liar, That's 0:01:47.080 --> 0:01:47.720 what I would say. 0:01:47.800 --> 0:01:50.640 Hey, can we just note the fact that you've given 0:01:50.720 --> 0:01:53.000 us a culture wreck two weeks in a row? 0:01:53.040 --> 0:01:56.640 Yeah, not me, stop it. I don't know power role. 0:01:56.840 --> 0:01:59.600 I love other things number one or a. 0:01:59.640 --> 0:02:06.760 Ring twenty out ten, absolutely fucking loving myself, Patos so cool. 0:02:06.920 --> 0:02:08.760 Love it For those of you who don't know me. 0:02:08.800 --> 0:02:12.040 I'm unbelievably impulsive and so and I love a fad 0:02:12.280 --> 0:02:15.360 like love it. I have tried most fads, I would say. 0:02:15.800 --> 0:02:18.480 When I purchased this, the people in my office were like, 0:02:19.040 --> 0:02:21.000 go to Jbhi fine trying the ring size. 0:02:21.040 --> 0:02:22.040 I was like, I can't be fucked. 0:02:22.720 --> 0:02:26.679 I'm now like tomorrow, I've made my decision. I've made 0:02:26.680 --> 0:02:29.440 my decision. I bought it, I bought online. It's the 0:02:29.480 --> 0:02:31.040 wrong size. It fits on one hand and not the other, 0:02:31.360 --> 0:02:32.960 which and I won't wear on my other hand. 0:02:33.000 --> 0:02:34.280 What do you mean one hand and not the other. 0:02:34.400 --> 0:02:36.600 It's too small for my other hand. You've got bigger 0:02:36.600 --> 0:02:37.120 fingers on one. 0:02:37.200 --> 0:02:40.280 Yeah, I do get unbelievable the whole size. It turns 0:02:40.280 --> 0:02:41.840 out like we need to turn that long. 0:02:42.840 --> 0:02:46.359 I know it's bizarre, but I absolutely love it. 0:02:46.360 --> 0:02:49.240 It is so fascinating how it can predict if you're 0:02:49.240 --> 0:02:52.160 getting sick. It looks at your peak stress times, which 0:02:52.200 --> 0:02:53.160 is so funny for. 0:02:53.120 --> 0:02:57.160 It usually do you know what it is? It's literally 0:02:57.800 --> 0:03:00.280 drop a pickup because it's like that, mad I should 0:03:00.320 --> 0:03:01.360 dra it from work to pick up. 0:03:02.040 --> 0:03:03.440 And I just find it really interesting anyway, So I 0:03:03.480 --> 0:03:04.800 just want to harp on about how much I fucking 0:03:04.840 --> 0:03:06.600 love this. I see everybody with it, and I'm like losers, 0:03:06.600 --> 0:03:08.720 and now it's me and I fucking weird. 0:03:08.840 --> 0:03:09.320 Yeah. Wow. 0:03:09.680 --> 0:03:11.560 My dad one day was like he's got one, and 0:03:11.600 --> 0:03:13.720 he was like, oh, I thought I had a good sleeve, 0:03:13.760 --> 0:03:14.720 but he's look at his stats. 0:03:14.760 --> 0:03:16.799 I'm like, can't we just go with thinking about a 0:03:16.840 --> 0:03:19.600 good slave? It's very interesting? 0:03:20.080 --> 0:03:22.280 Next one, Oh, this one is a bit strange, but 0:03:22.320 --> 0:03:24.160 I thought I would bring it up for everybody else. 0:03:24.200 --> 0:03:26.120 It's in the same break. I went and saw a 0:03:26.200 --> 0:03:29.280 pelvic floor physio for hip pain. 0:03:29.960 --> 0:03:33.040 Interesting. Yeah, So I was going to say, you're about 0:03:33.200 --> 0:03:35.600 like ten months later on that, sweet, No, I think. 0:03:35.520 --> 0:03:37.480 I'm actually like three and a half years late. So 0:03:37.640 --> 0:03:39.960 after I had Zave, I had pelvic girdle pain. I 0:03:40.080 --> 0:03:42.120 actually had cock six pain when I was pregnant with him. 0:03:42.240 --> 0:03:45.200 Oh god, I remember that though it was horrible. 0:03:44.840 --> 0:03:46.320 And then it didn't go away after I gave birth, 0:03:46.680 --> 0:03:49.120 and then it kind of niggled ever since. And then 0:03:49.280 --> 0:03:51.600 when I had Gus, I had pelvic girdle pain in 0:03:51.680 --> 0:03:55.000 the last bit, and then I've noticed that randomly. Well, 0:03:55.000 --> 0:03:57.320 it wasn't that bad, it was just when I walked 0:03:57.480 --> 0:03:59.320 if I walked for too long, and then I noticed 0:03:59.320 --> 0:04:01.280 after gus that I started to get that pain from 0:04:01.280 --> 0:04:02.560 my cro seats now in my. 0:04:02.640 --> 0:04:05.160 Hip okay, And so I was like, do you know what, 0:04:05.400 --> 0:04:08.280 I'm just going to reach out to Chloe Chloe Cox 0:04:08.360 --> 0:04:10.360 a queen Queen tol. 0:04:10.480 --> 0:04:11.840 I was like, look, I don't know if this is related, 0:04:11.880 --> 0:04:14.280 but I have the worst hip pain to the point 0:04:14.760 --> 0:04:16.680 where I feel like I can't work. And I would 0:04:16.760 --> 0:04:20.039 never think that that's the latest. She's like, yeah, for sure. 0:04:20.080 --> 0:04:24.240 He's a recommendation, game changer, amazing game changer. So if 0:04:24.240 --> 0:04:26.320 anyone is in the same boat, that's like, something's not 0:04:26.440 --> 0:04:29.119 right with my hips pealves, you've got clickie joints. 0:04:29.279 --> 0:04:32.240 Yeah, I strongly recommend a pelvic physio. And what are 0:04:32.279 --> 0:04:32.600 they doing? 0:04:32.640 --> 0:04:35.160 Are they getting you to do exercises at home? And 0:04:35.279 --> 0:04:37.160 did they you prescribe pilates? Is that one of the 0:04:37.200 --> 0:04:38.240 things that got you back into it? 0:04:38.360 --> 0:04:40.160 Or are they to no, no, no, no, as in 0:04:40.440 --> 0:04:42.880 she's like regular exercise. So I'm doing exercise at home. 0:04:43.000 --> 0:04:45.840 I got it strapped, but it's more just about building 0:04:45.880 --> 0:04:46.960 my glute strength. 0:04:47.600 --> 0:04:50.640 Well, I'll tell you what gets fucked from childbirth and 0:04:50.720 --> 0:04:52.479 pregnancy is your ass? 0:04:52.760 --> 0:04:57.240 Yeah, my back is so bizarre and it's definitely gotten 0:04:57.320 --> 0:04:59.760 worse because I used to have a strong bottom, as 0:04:59.800 --> 0:05:01.960 did you, and we need to build them back off. 0:05:02.040 --> 0:05:04.039 I think my mine's still beefy, but it just doesn't 0:05:04.080 --> 0:05:06.599 have the sweet the wait behind it anymore. 0:05:07.240 --> 0:05:11.160 So that's where I'm flagging. Add one more wreck that 0:05:11.240 --> 0:05:14.320 I had. But now she's typing lit Oh my god, 0:05:14.600 --> 0:05:17.279 this just in, this just in? What was my other wreck? 0:05:17.360 --> 0:05:20.480 For the way, it's probably so lame, my god, and 0:05:20.680 --> 0:05:25.799 my last one? How is everyone going reading with their kids? 0:05:25.960 --> 0:05:27.680 I'm so glad you asked this because the other day 0:05:27.680 --> 0:05:29.480 I was like to hate them. We're terrible parents that 0:05:29.560 --> 0:05:30.640 kids won't sit down for a book. 0:05:30.680 --> 0:05:31.400 What is wrong with us? 0:05:31.920 --> 0:05:34.280 I'm at the stage where we're having a practice reading now. 0:05:34.960 --> 0:05:37.760 The patience, it must take so much patience. 0:05:37.920 --> 0:05:40.920 How is everyone doing it? What are your tips? What 0:05:41.040 --> 0:05:45.160 are your tricks? Help me out? This is my current experience. 0:05:45.680 --> 0:05:52.440 I point to a word what as I'm like this was, 0:05:52.960 --> 0:05:56.320 She's like, okay, so read sentence next sentence. 0:05:57.000 --> 0:06:02.960 As I'm like, I think, I'm like, you're an ass. 0:06:04.240 --> 0:06:06.560 I have no patience and you know what's made me 0:06:06.680 --> 0:06:08.760 realize not only do I have no patience, but the 0:06:08.920 --> 0:06:11.880 English language is so using. 0:06:12.240 --> 0:06:15.000 It is so hard to learn because there's so many 0:06:15.120 --> 0:06:17.920 letters that sound different in different words. How do you 0:06:18.040 --> 0:06:20.640 explain that to her? Like, I have no idea why 0:06:21.080 --> 0:06:22.560 was is pronounced was? 0:06:23.040 --> 0:06:26.320 And then you've got apple which is a and then 0:06:26.400 --> 0:06:28.280 like waste, Like how do you explain it's because the 0:06:28.320 --> 0:06:30.039 e's on the end that, Oh my. 0:06:30.120 --> 0:06:33.560 God, it is. It's so bad. It's so bad. 0:06:33.920 --> 0:06:36.760 So for any parents that have any suggestions or tips, 0:06:37.000 --> 0:06:39.480 please give them to me, because I am like, I'm 0:06:39.520 --> 0:06:41.920 thinking of just buying an iPad and putting reading Eggs 0:06:41.960 --> 0:06:42.880 on it and hoping for the best. 0:06:42.920 --> 0:06:46.320 That's where my patiences aren't I used to do reading eggs? 0:06:46.800 --> 0:06:48.320 Really throw it back now? Really? 0:06:48.440 --> 0:06:50.480 I think like there was a baby version. Oh that 0:06:50.680 --> 0:06:52.400 was like, how you know if we're taking out and 0:06:52.440 --> 0:06:56.320 it wouldn't concentrate? Yeah, Hayn got it's idea. 0:06:58.240 --> 0:07:05.320 That's what I started. I was like, hey, well, what 0:07:05.440 --> 0:07:06.160 are your updates? 0:07:06.720 --> 0:07:09.800 I haven't written anything down but my mother in law 0:07:10.040 --> 0:07:14.200 so she was with us this week. Her and my 0:07:14.320 --> 0:07:17.480 father in law stayed down your uncle and Aunty because 0:07:17.480 --> 0:07:19.400 we're actually updating a house a little bit. 0:07:19.680 --> 0:07:20.200 I haven't told you. 0:07:20.320 --> 0:07:23.400 Yeah, the bank for some reason has loaned us one underground, 0:07:24.040 --> 0:07:26.440 which is the only good thing about where we live 0:07:26.520 --> 0:07:28.200 and where we bought and the timing of it all 0:07:28.240 --> 0:07:30.120 because I've talked obviously a lot on the show about 0:07:30.160 --> 0:07:32.080 how we don't have a massive household income. 0:07:32.280 --> 0:07:33.600 But one good thing that we do have is we 0:07:33.640 --> 0:07:35.520 don't have a massive mortgage because we bought. 0:07:35.320 --> 0:07:36.840 At the time we did. At the time we did, 0:07:36.880 --> 0:07:39.080 we got very lucky, so we don't have a big mortgage. 0:07:39.160 --> 0:07:41.920 So we thought, our house is tiny. Aiden's a builder, 0:07:41.920 --> 0:07:44.200 which makes everything so much cheaper, and I get a 0:07:44.240 --> 0:07:46.240 lot of trade discounts because my family are all in 0:07:46.560 --> 0:07:49.160 design and construction and blah blah blah blah. Anyway, we 0:07:49.200 --> 0:07:50.760 thought we'll just try and apply it for one hundred 0:07:50.760 --> 0:07:52.800 grand loan and see if they give it to us. 0:07:52.920 --> 0:07:56.400 And we basically laughed when they did because we were like, 0:07:56.600 --> 0:07:58.120 why why would you give us this? 0:07:58.320 --> 0:07:58.560 Line? 0:07:58.880 --> 0:08:02.040 Anyway, they did. So Eve was helping Haydes with some 0:08:02.160 --> 0:08:04.240 little building stuff. We're just adding like literally a meter 0:08:04.320 --> 0:08:07.600 of width and updating you know, those rooms. Anyway, Michelle 0:08:07.760 --> 0:08:10.160 came down to my mother in law, and I just 0:08:10.240 --> 0:08:14.080 wanted to share two stories of like what support should 0:08:14.120 --> 0:08:16.240 look like, yeah, and like how you can support your 0:08:16.280 --> 0:08:18.240 mates and anyone that you love, and just like how 0:08:18.280 --> 0:08:21.000 amazing she is. So she knew I had a bit 0:08:21.040 --> 0:08:22.840 of a rough week, just being busy off the back 0:08:22.880 --> 0:08:23.640 of sickness blah. 0:08:23.520 --> 0:08:24.160 Blah blah blah blah. 0:08:24.760 --> 0:08:26.560 And she was with the kids and I had to 0:08:26.640 --> 0:08:28.920 go get something at the shops for dinner, and she 0:08:29.080 --> 0:08:31.040 was like, go get a coffee while you there and 0:08:31.360 --> 0:08:32.000 don't come back. 0:08:32.480 --> 0:08:34.120 And I was like, you're an angel, because I actually 0:08:34.120 --> 0:08:34.760 wouldn't have done that. 0:08:34.880 --> 0:08:37.120 And it was one of those beautiful sunny, wintery days, 0:08:37.440 --> 0:08:39.560 got my coffee, sat at the beach and just had 0:08:39.559 --> 0:08:40.719 a coffee looking out to the bait. 0:08:40.960 --> 0:08:42.040 It made me feel so much better. 0:08:42.160 --> 0:08:44.040 Yeah, And then when I got back, I realized, and 0:08:44.120 --> 0:08:46.280 she does this every time anytime that she comes down 0:08:46.320 --> 0:08:48.319 to stay with us, because they live about an hour away. 0:08:48.720 --> 0:08:52.360 She brings Maltese's and the natural confection Ony lollies because 0:08:52.360 --> 0:08:55.000 they're my two favorite things that she brings them every week. 0:08:55.679 --> 0:08:57.920 So I just wanted to shout out to a positive 0:08:58.000 --> 0:08:59.839 side of mother in law and because yeah, lots of 0:09:00.240 --> 0:09:02.600 stories out there, but there's also one of the really 0:09:02.640 --> 0:09:05.040 good ones yet. And also just I think someone bringing 0:09:05.440 --> 0:09:07.920 your favorite things to you. Yes, it's a reminder for 0:09:08.000 --> 0:09:09.719 me to do that to other people because it's like 0:09:09.840 --> 0:09:11.840 it's not just like, oh I love that snack, it's like. 0:09:12.080 --> 0:09:15.120 Oh, you know you remembered me. Yeah, so that's me 0:09:15.200 --> 0:09:16.560 to you, my friend. I don't know much else. 0:09:16.720 --> 0:09:19.079 Okay, well i'll share a good news story. Excellent, keep 0:09:19.120 --> 0:09:23.520 it rolling, Okay. From one July, women can get access 0:09:23.600 --> 0:09:27.200 to care and support for menopause and perimenopause medi Cares 0:09:27.320 --> 0:09:30.280 Menopause item has already been used by one hundred and 0:09:30.320 --> 0:09:33.560 twenty five thousand women, and four one hundred and fifty 0:09:33.640 --> 0:09:36.920 thousand women have accessed cheaper hormone therapy on the PBS. 0:09:37.240 --> 0:09:37.760 That's great. 0:09:37.880 --> 0:09:40.240 It's great about moving up, Hey, quick shout out to 0:09:40.320 --> 0:09:42.840 one of your besties who started a substack all about 0:09:42.960 --> 0:09:45.720 periapause called Society Unedited. 0:09:46.080 --> 0:09:46.959 I'm already loving it. 0:09:47.120 --> 0:09:48.880 It's a great thing for people to follow, even if 0:09:48.920 --> 0:09:50.520 you're not in that phase yet, because I really want 0:09:50.559 --> 0:09:52.880 to learn more about that before I get into it. 0:09:52.960 --> 0:09:54.079 Because if there's anything. 0:09:53.880 --> 0:09:56.640 Matrescence has taught me, there's a lot to learn about 0:09:56.640 --> 0:09:57.679 these hormonal changes. 0:09:57.760 --> 0:09:59.559 There is a lot to learn and then follow that 0:09:59.679 --> 0:10:02.319 on some stack society unedited. I think it's called it is. 0:10:02.480 --> 0:10:03.640 And she's very good Chrissy. 0:10:03.840 --> 0:10:06.480 She is a gun with all things in the female 0:10:06.520 --> 0:10:08.760 house space and also in the skincare space. 0:10:08.920 --> 0:10:11.640 So we love her. We do love her in every space. 0:10:12.480 --> 0:10:14.800 And that is a great news story. Let's get into it. 0:10:18.320 --> 0:10:21.440 The school years and the motherhood penalty. There's an article 0:10:21.520 --> 0:10:23.760 going around that I really connected with. It's written by 0:10:23.760 --> 0:10:27.120 an Irish mum called oh this is going to hurt me? Said? 0:10:28.760 --> 0:10:30.719 Is that going to hurt you? Did I say it? 0:10:32.640 --> 0:10:33.719 Oh? More so? 0:10:33.840 --> 0:10:35.920 Her point isn't about the baby is it's about what 0:10:36.120 --> 0:10:39.079 happens afterwards. She says, we're all sold this idea that 0:10:39.120 --> 0:10:42.280 once kids starts school, life goes back to normal. I've 0:10:42.280 --> 0:10:45.079 always thought this until you started school and in the 0:10:45.120 --> 0:10:48.960 holidays hit you and you realize there's no real sense 0:10:49.000 --> 0:10:51.800 of normal given that you don't yet have kids in school. 0:10:52.120 --> 0:10:54.480 Have you thought that once your kids go to school 0:10:54.880 --> 0:10:55.600 it'll get easier? 0:10:56.040 --> 0:10:59.560 Until Sienna started school this year, and like also watching 0:10:59.760 --> 0:11:02.559 my brother and his wife raised school year kids that 0:11:02.640 --> 0:11:05.679 are older than Sienna. Before that, I definitely thought like, 0:11:06.160 --> 0:11:08.319 that's where you get normal. Sy, it's like five days, 0:11:08.400 --> 0:11:12.440 we know hours, School's great. I loved school, blah blah 0:11:12.440 --> 0:11:14.560 blah blah. Yeah, that's when it gets easy. And that's 0:11:14.720 --> 0:11:16.280 honestly in my head when I've been like, if I 0:11:16.360 --> 0:11:19.040 wanted to get a corporate job, then that's when I 0:11:19.160 --> 0:11:19.640 might do it. 0:11:19.840 --> 0:11:20.040 Yeap. 0:11:20.480 --> 0:11:23.400 But honestly, I've been so humbled by different people in 0:11:23.480 --> 0:11:25.520 my life starting school. So you and two of my 0:11:25.600 --> 0:11:29.000 best ties started in the same year yep, and I O. 0:11:29.160 --> 0:11:31.959 It's been like a complete reckoning of what I thought 0:11:32.000 --> 0:11:32.679 school would be like. 0:11:32.880 --> 0:11:36.439 So I have this theory that daycare is expensive, but 0:11:36.520 --> 0:11:40.400 it covers work hours, and then kinder you can sometimes 0:11:40.440 --> 0:11:43.959 get some kinders that operate within the daycare, so you 0:11:44.080 --> 0:11:45.719 still got that contingency of care. 0:11:45.840 --> 0:11:46.200 Is that right? 0:11:46.960 --> 0:11:51.440 And then continuity continuity contingency, Well, it is a contingency, 0:11:51.520 --> 0:11:55.040 so do mind well whatever, continuity of care. But if 0:11:55.120 --> 0:11:58.320 you go to our community kinder, you quickly learn how 0:11:58.440 --> 0:12:00.720 hours work. Yeah, and then when you go to school, 0:12:01.400 --> 0:12:04.120 there is the option to do aftercare, but I don't 0:12:04.160 --> 0:12:06.360 recommend it for like the first term or our school 0:12:06.400 --> 0:12:11.520 certainly didn't. And it's also obviously an additional expense. 0:12:11.920 --> 0:12:16.120 Additional pressure for mums, Yeah, particularly on mums unfortunately being like. 0:12:16.200 --> 0:12:17.640 Oh yeah, there so much. 0:12:17.840 --> 0:12:20.559 But then you've got school holidays and you've got twelve 0:12:20.600 --> 0:12:23.960 weeks of school holidays a year. Full time workers get 0:12:24.000 --> 0:12:26.120 four weeks of annually. That's a crude that's not just 0:12:26.160 --> 0:12:28.280 given to you at the start. That's an eight week 0:12:28.320 --> 0:12:31.360 at let's say partner also uses his four weeks independently 0:12:31.400 --> 0:12:33.959 of yours, so you're not holidaying together. Yeah, and then like, yeah, 0:12:34.040 --> 0:12:37.080 let's never have join our lives, right, So you've got 0:12:37.120 --> 0:12:40.600 another four weeks for the enjoyment. And then you've got 0:12:40.640 --> 0:12:43.000 school holiday programs that aren't cheap. So most of them 0:12:43.040 --> 0:12:46.000 are between sixty to one hundred and fifty bucks a 0:12:46.160 --> 0:12:48.880 day per child. So for a family with two kids, 0:12:48.880 --> 0:12:51.200 a single week of holidays can run over one thousand dollars, 0:12:51.559 --> 0:12:54.600 which is not cheap. And the Irish, because his author 0:12:54.679 --> 0:12:56.960 was Irish, she had a lot of Irish stats which 0:12:57.000 --> 0:12:58.920 I want to get into. Even though they might not 0:12:59.040 --> 0:13:02.079 be for lack first, they're still very interesting. Yeah, the 0:13:02.160 --> 0:13:05.760 Irish datter backs up why this keeps learning on mom specifically, 0:13:06.000 --> 0:13:09.640 part time work amongst Irish women goes from sixteen percent 0:13:09.720 --> 0:13:12.199 with no kids up to thirty seven percent with two 0:13:12.320 --> 0:13:15.360 kids and close to forty seven percent with three or 0:13:15.440 --> 0:13:19.360 more children. For dads, it barely moves off twelve percent 0:13:19.880 --> 0:13:23.280 regardless of children. Yeah, don't you think that's incredible? That's 0:13:23.320 --> 0:13:27.760 a massive discrepancy. I don't know what the Australian equivalent 0:13:27.880 --> 0:13:30.360 data broken down the same way would be, but from 0:13:30.400 --> 0:13:33.520 everything we already know, there is a seven hour unpaid 0:13:33.600 --> 0:13:37.480 work gap for women versus men when you have children. 0:13:37.640 --> 0:13:39.080 Yeah, it's difference. 0:13:39.240 --> 0:13:42.360 Yeah, it's a huge difference out of curiosity for school 0:13:42.360 --> 0:13:45.120 holidays for you when that time comes. How do you 0:13:45.160 --> 0:13:47.160 think you are logistically going to work it out? 0:13:47.360 --> 0:13:49.840 Well, I guess we're already doing it with kinder holidays 0:13:50.200 --> 0:13:54.120 and it definitely falls on me more. Yeah, I would 0:13:54.160 --> 0:13:56.439 say it's like sixty six percent on me and like 0:13:56.559 --> 0:13:59.199 thirty three percent Hayden has to step in and relieve 0:13:59.280 --> 0:14:00.240 me from what I need to do. 0:14:00.520 --> 0:14:03.079 Yeah, it's even annoying, isn't it? Even just thinking about it? 0:14:03.160 --> 0:14:06.720 Like I definitely shape shift by work around the school 0:14:06.720 --> 0:14:09.200 holidays yea, And Hayden doesn't see them coming as quick 0:14:09.200 --> 0:14:11.520 as I do, and like, this is even as we've 0:14:11.559 --> 0:14:13.880 spoken about so many times, in a household where he's 0:14:13.880 --> 0:14:16.319 as even as he possibly can be. The thing with 0:14:16.440 --> 0:14:19.520 Hades is he's either incredibly flexible because he's mostly quoting 0:14:19.600 --> 0:14:22.560 from home, or he's on site and there's not much 0:14:22.600 --> 0:14:25.280 flexibility because he has to be there to fucking build 0:14:25.320 --> 0:14:25.680 a house. 0:14:26.440 --> 0:14:28.520 So it really depends where it lands. 0:14:28.560 --> 0:14:31.000 But I would say that like which is more of 0:14:31.120 --> 0:14:34.000 like a handshake agreement than anything we've ever really spoken about. 0:14:34.080 --> 0:14:36.080 I'd say it's like two thirds of it it sits 0:14:36.120 --> 0:14:38.240 on me and about a third of it sits on him. 0:14:38.280 --> 0:14:40.440 But even that, it's like him putting band aids in spots, 0:14:40.520 --> 0:14:42.480 like it's you know, can you get home earlier this 0:14:42.600 --> 0:14:44.120 day so I can do X, Y and Z. 0:14:44.480 --> 0:14:47.280 Yeah, but it's even just annoying that, like I shift my. 0:14:47.440 --> 0:14:49.760 Two weeks every fucking it feels like every two weeks 0:14:49.800 --> 0:14:51.320 that it happens the school. 0:14:52.120 --> 0:14:54.640 It feels suppressing because you've got this annual leave and 0:14:54.760 --> 0:14:57.440 then yeah, everyone's like, oh, I just use it for 0:14:57.480 --> 0:15:00.640 the school. Hot is unless we're doing something, unless we're 0:15:00.680 --> 0:15:02.800 going away. It's not that I don't love my children. 0:15:02.880 --> 0:15:05.080 I do, but I want to find some joy in 0:15:05.200 --> 0:15:06.359 having a new experience. 0:15:06.480 --> 0:15:09.440 And also, let's not pretend that like it's really normalized 0:15:09.440 --> 0:15:11.720 in the workplace to just like always use your leave 0:15:11.760 --> 0:15:14.960 for school holidays. Yeah, Like there's also that tend with 0:15:15.320 --> 0:15:17.600 like if you do that, I don't know what I'm 0:15:17.600 --> 0:15:19.400 trying to say. Actually, yeah, no, I know exactly. 0:15:21.160 --> 0:15:24.080 I actually let's keep this. Let's keep this because I 0:15:24.280 --> 0:15:27.760 have I know I was going with that. I know 0:15:27.920 --> 0:15:30.920 exactly what you mean. It feels depressing. 0:15:31.240 --> 0:15:33.040 You're like, I get these four weeks that's meant to 0:15:33.080 --> 0:15:35.480 be joyful every year to myself where I feel like 0:15:35.480 --> 0:15:37.760 I can take a break from work, and then you 0:15:37.920 --> 0:15:41.160 go to parent in that time in the mondane and 0:15:41.240 --> 0:15:44.240 everyday life. Yes, and you're like, wow, no one got 0:15:44.280 --> 0:15:46.400 a break here. Yeah, I don't feel like I'm a 0:15:46.440 --> 0:15:48.520 break again. The two things are true. 0:15:48.560 --> 0:15:50.800 We love our kids, but it's still it's not having 0:15:50.840 --> 0:15:53.160 a holiday altogether, which is what people deserve to do 0:15:53.200 --> 0:15:54.280 as Yeah, I think. 0:15:54.160 --> 0:15:56.560 This article what it brought to life for me was 0:15:56.640 --> 0:15:59.840 that there's this really unrealistic expectation that once a kid's 0:15:59.840 --> 0:16:01.280 got school, you have all this time back. 0:16:01.800 --> 0:16:03.120 Yeah, and I'm yet to find it. 0:16:03.960 --> 0:16:06.240 In fact, I would almost go as far as saying 0:16:06.720 --> 0:16:09.600 is that when you get to school, logistics become harder, 0:16:09.800 --> 0:16:14.000 so it is more difficult to organize your weeks. Sure 0:16:14.120 --> 0:16:16.760 it's slightly less expensive depending on what schooling you grow to, 0:16:16.920 --> 0:16:19.080 like a public school, but I'm kind of like, what 0:16:19.080 --> 0:16:20.480 it's the time you like, by the time you add 0:16:20.560 --> 0:16:22.480 up all the school holidays, the school holiday programs, which 0:16:22.480 --> 0:16:23.880 you're more expensive as the kids get Oh. 0:16:23.720 --> 0:16:26.080 That's such a good point. There's a lot of unfactored 0:16:26.160 --> 0:16:28.400 coasts that you don't think about until you're in it. Yeah, 0:16:28.400 --> 0:16:29.240 one hundred percent. 0:16:29.360 --> 0:16:31.720 And can we just also touch on the fact and 0:16:31.760 --> 0:16:34.440 I don't blame the educators for this because like whatever 0:16:34.520 --> 0:16:36.920 it happens, as it happens, or the committee or whoever 0:16:37.040 --> 0:16:39.120 does it, but like, why does everything land. 0:16:38.960 --> 0:16:40.760 On the last week of term? Like, oh my god, 0:16:41.000 --> 0:16:44.800 so annoying? Were different events for Ray? Yeah, and they're 0:16:44.800 --> 0:16:47.360 always at two o'clock. Why. I was just like, I 0:16:47.440 --> 0:16:48.320 can't do all this I. 0:16:48.760 --> 0:16:50.720 Physically have Yeah, but also you feel like the ship 0:16:50.800 --> 0:16:52.120 parent if one of you's not there to do it. 0:16:52.600 --> 0:16:52.800 Well. 0:16:53.280 --> 0:16:55.400 That was a hard learning for me this year with school. 0:16:55.480 --> 0:16:57.760 There was like a number. There's a number of showcase 0:16:57.800 --> 0:16:58.800 your art days. 0:16:58.920 --> 0:17:03.440 Yes, oh my god, I remember those like kid yeahs terrible. 0:17:05.280 --> 0:17:07.080 Unless you're an artist, it's fucking annoy. 0:17:07.640 --> 0:17:08.879 And I said to one of the mums in my 0:17:08.920 --> 0:17:12.159 team's got something coming up at two o'clock, I've got 0:17:12.200 --> 0:17:12.760 to meet at Santa. 0:17:12.840 --> 0:17:14.800 She like, oh, no, like you have to go. I 0:17:14.920 --> 0:17:16.200