WEBVTT - MY FIRST LOVE F**KED ME UP

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<v Speaker 1>I want the fairy tale. I want the prince charming.

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<v Speaker 2>She how do I put this? Isn't a fan of

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<v Speaker 2>my kissing style?

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<v Speaker 1>Boyfriend and girlfriend for about twelve hours. He's in a

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<v Speaker 1>trash bin. He's non recyclable catching her.

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<v Speaker 2>I love being love. I love love.

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<v Speaker 1>On today's episode of Where's Your Head Out, we are

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<v Speaker 1>talking about our very first loves.

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<v Speaker 2>We will be discussing how we knew we had found

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<v Speaker 2>love or felt love, and how it felt to break up.

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<v Speaker 1>Stay tuned to hear who we consider to be our

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<v Speaker 1>very first loves. Where's Your Head At is a podcast

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<v Speaker 1>that talks all things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows,

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<v Speaker 1>and everything in between.

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<v Speaker 2>This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip,

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<v Speaker 2>intimate details, advice, and much more. Hello, Math, Yesana, how

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<v Speaker 2>are you today? What's going on?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm really excited because Matt and I have the most

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<v Speaker 1>scandalous story that we can finally tell you. We've been

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<v Speaker 1>sitting on this literally since the start of our podcast launch.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm quite nervous. I've got my I'm looking around. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know if we could be telling this story, but

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<v Speaker 2>let's do it anyway. How were that? Fuck?

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<v Speaker 1>It? This is a lot of tea all in one.

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<v Speaker 1>So pre meeting Michael, I hooked up with this guy

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<v Speaker 1>one night. He was a lawyer, and I told Matt's

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<v Speaker 1>ex girlfriend at the time that I had hooked up

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<v Speaker 1>with him. That's it, that's all I'm giving you. Now

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<v Speaker 1>over to no All.

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<v Speaker 2>I'll set the scene. I'm picking Anna up. We're coming

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<v Speaker 2>into the studio to record another episode of Where's Your

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<v Speaker 2>Head At? And I go, you know what, I need

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<v Speaker 2>a caffeine here. The three coffees I've already had today

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<v Speaker 2>are not hitting the spot. I need another one. So

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<v Speaker 2>Anna lives close or on the same street as that

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<v Speaker 2>ex that she just spoke about my most recent X

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm like, oh, that offee shop. I know it's

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<v Speaker 2>a good one that made me good coffees for like

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<v Speaker 2>the whole of a year for me. I'm going to

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<v Speaker 2>go there. And I was like, but there's a chance

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<v Speaker 2>that she might be there, And I'm like, you know what,

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<v Speaker 2>fifty to fifty chance. If she's walking the ten she

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<v Speaker 2>goes to another one. If she's walking Olbert Parks, she

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<v Speaker 2>goes to this one. And what are the chances that

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<v Speaker 2>our schedules and the timing is going to a line.

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<v Speaker 1>So Matt decided to roll the dice and I walk in.

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<v Speaker 2>Everything's fine, and then I heard that infamous laugh and

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<v Speaker 2>I swear to God, the fucking hairs on the back

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<v Speaker 2>of my neck stood up. I'm like, you've done this

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<v Speaker 2>to yourself, Maddie boy. You may as well just pay

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<v Speaker 2>the piper. You've done it to yourself. So I say, hey,

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<v Speaker 2>how you being. We get chatting, nothing on towards, just

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<v Speaker 2>little chats here and there, and then saying how we are,

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<v Speaker 2>what's been going on? Just you know, civil, which I

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<v Speaker 2>was surprised about. That's good, yeah, always good, I'm a

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<v Speaker 2>civil person. Yeah. She'd gone on to tell me that

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<v Speaker 2>she'd seen someone and he was a lawyer. My ears

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<v Speaker 2>perked up and I was like, a lawyer, you say,

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<v Speaker 2>knowing that Anna had hooked up with a lawyer like

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<v Speaker 2>over a year ago. So I was like, is it

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<v Speaker 2>the same guy that Anna hooked up with? And she

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<v Speaker 2>said yes, and I was like, oh, fair enough, Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>I guess that's, you know, something out of my business.

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<v Speaker 2>And I don't give a fuck who you're kissing, you

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<v Speaker 2>know what I mean, It's not my problem. And then

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<v Speaker 2>she said interestingly I actually asked him to write Cease

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<v Speaker 2>and Desist against your podcast, and I was like, what, what,

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<v Speaker 2>why would you do that? And then she was like, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>you just mentioned me by name a couple of times.

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<v Speaker 2>And I was like, yeah, but it was nothing bad,

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<v Speaker 2>Like I was just telling my side of what happened

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<v Speaker 2>and all this sort of stuff, and she said, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>it was actually the infertility episode that pissed her off

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<v Speaker 2>the most. And I was like, that had nothing to

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<v Speaker 2>do with you. That was about my infertility, and all

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<v Speaker 2>we laughed about it. We went our own ways, and

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<v Speaker 2>then I went back to the car and I told

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<v Speaker 2>you all about it, and we just had a laugh

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<v Speaker 2>and we're like, yah, oh, you know, it is what

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<v Speaker 2>it is. What it is unpredictable. Who knows them.

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<v Speaker 1>I that same week went out to bar Bambi with

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<v Speaker 1>my girlfriends and this guy, this lawyer, just happened to

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<v Speaker 1>be there, which was very weird timing because I haven't

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<v Speaker 1>seen him probably since the night I hooked up with him.

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<v Speaker 2>So over a year ago.

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<v Speaker 1>And then I had just found out that information that

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<v Speaker 1>Matt's ex had been dating him for six months officially yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>and that he had written our podcast to season desist,

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<v Speaker 1>So of course, me being me, I was like, I

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<v Speaker 1>want to ask this guy about this, like I'm shocked

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<v Speaker 1>that he would do this because we got along really well.

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<v Speaker 1>So anyway, he actually sent a round of drinks over

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<v Speaker 1>to our table.

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<v Speaker 2>What were they?

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<v Speaker 1>Just some cocktails to the girls and me, which I

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<v Speaker 1>immediately messaged Michael and was like, there's a boy sending

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<v Speaker 1>me cocktails and I did kiss him one night.

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<v Speaker 2>Nice honest, did you take his cocktail? Well?

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<v Speaker 1>I mean I didn't want to like stop the other

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<v Speaker 1>girls from getting free drinks. I just obliged. But anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>he actually and came and sat down at our table

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<v Speaker 1>and was like do you want.

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<v Speaker 2>To come and join You don't take the drink, so.

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<v Speaker 1>He was like do you want to come join us

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<v Speaker 1>at like a bigger booth that he had, and I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, no, we'll be okay. But interestingly, I did

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<v Speaker 1>hear that you dated Matt's X And he was like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>very short period of time, like not very long. And

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, I also heard that you wrote my

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<v Speaker 1>podcast to cease and desist and he was like how

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<v Speaker 1>do you know that? And I was like because Matt's

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<v Speaker 1>X told him? And then Matt told me, and he like,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not even kidding. I wish I could have made

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<v Speaker 1>this up, Like you couldn't even write this shit. He

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<v Speaker 1>then said to me, well, you didn't reply back to

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<v Speaker 1>my text message, so when she asked me to write

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<v Speaker 1>it up, of course I was going to write it up.

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<v Speaker 1>And I was like, so basically I ghosted you. So

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<v Speaker 1>now I'm being punished with a seasoned assist. I mean yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I was just kind of wondering, like, what is the

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<v Speaker 1>ethics of that? Like, is that ethical? I don't know,

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<v Speaker 1>where's your head out? Fam? Let me know.

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<v Speaker 2>Look, is this a warning for everyone? Be careful who

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<v Speaker 2>you ghost.

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<v Speaker 1>Be careful who you date. Definitely don't ghost a lawyers.

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<v Speaker 1>You could have some legal documents coming your way. And

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<v Speaker 1>on that note, let's jump into today's episode.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, I know we're talking today about first love.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Could be a sad or could be a happy topic. Really,

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<v Speaker 2>it depends what way people are coming from. Tell me

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<v Speaker 2>a little bit about your first love.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, So I was fresh eighteen, he was fresh eighteen.

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<v Speaker 1>I was a host at the nightclub. He was a DJ.

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<v Speaker 1>He was very charming, very good looking. I fell very hard,

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<v Speaker 1>very quickly, and I think we dated on and off

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<v Speaker 1>for about a year. It was very all over the place,

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<v Speaker 1>very filled with lots of highs and lows and emotions

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<v Speaker 1>and yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>How did you know that this was the first time

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<v Speaker 2>you're feeling love?

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<v Speaker 1>So I did have a boyfriend before that who I

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<v Speaker 1>had lost my virginity to. I had seen a couple

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<v Speaker 1>of guys in between, but I think this was the

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<v Speaker 1>guy who I just felt this overwhelming feeling of connectedness with.

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<v Speaker 1>I guess he just kind of consumed all of my thoughts.

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<v Speaker 1>I think it was also the first time I had

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<v Speaker 1>sex and just had this overwhelming feeling of love. He

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<v Speaker 1>also felt the same. He told me he loved me first.

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<v Speaker 1>I said it back. It just felt really right right away.

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<v Speaker 1>I think after about two months. Yeah, so you know,

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<v Speaker 1>pretty average, pretty normal time frame. But yeah, he was

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<v Speaker 1>just like, in my eyes the bee's knees.

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<v Speaker 2>So what was the main sign that you'd fallen in

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<v Speaker 2>love with him? Then?

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<v Speaker 1>I think it was that I would have just done

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<v Speaker 1>anything for him. I just absolutely adored him. I just

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<v Speaker 1>was totally consumed and just.

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<v Speaker 2>Yess with him. How'd you break up with him? Then?

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, I've actually told this story on our cheating episode,

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<v Speaker 1>but I'm going to tell it again because it's very

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<v Speaker 1>relevant because this guy was my first love. So basically,

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<v Speaker 1>he used to run parties at schoolies. Being DJ, I

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<v Speaker 1>dropped him off at the airport to go to Byron

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<v Speaker 1>Bay for schoolies. He was away for seven days. I

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<v Speaker 1>then picked him up from the airport. I remember he

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<v Speaker 1>got in the car after being away at schoolies and

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<v Speaker 1>he just like kept looking at me, and I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>what is it? Like what yeah and so, and then

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<v Speaker 1>he started getting really teary and being like I just

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<v Speaker 1>love you so much, Like I don't think I even

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<v Speaker 1>like have felt this before. I've never experienced this level

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<v Speaker 1>of love, Like I'm just so obsessed with you. And

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<v Speaker 1>then two months later I actually found out that he

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<v Speaker 1>cheated on me at schoolies. What a dickhead, Yeah, and

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<v Speaker 1>he fully broke my heart, Like that was my first

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<v Speaker 1>ever proper heartbreak. I was eighteen, and he ended up

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<v Speaker 1>like admitting that he had sex with six girls in

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<v Speaker 1>seven days. I remember he had a hickey on his

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<v Speaker 1>neck that actually I didn't see it at the time.

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<v Speaker 1>I think this happened on like day one, and the

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<v Speaker 1>person who told me that he had cheated on me

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<v Speaker 1>had a photo of the hickey and his response was,

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, did I forget to tell you? I

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<v Speaker 1>got into a fight and I fell on my neck,

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<v Speaker 1>and I was like, do I look stupid to you?

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<v Speaker 2>Like I come on, you say your mate gave it

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<v Speaker 2>to you.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know, but anyway, it's funny because like now,

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<v Speaker 1>like obviously, as your reaction was, it sounded really cute

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<v Speaker 1>like him doing that, and I was like, oh my god,

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<v Speaker 1>I love him so much. That's so sweet. But I

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<v Speaker 1>think his reaction was the deep feeling of guilt and

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<v Speaker 1>regret that I had dropped him at the airport picked

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<v Speaker 1>him up, and like he's obviously feeling really guilty about it.

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<v Speaker 1>So it didn't end well for me. It was very heartbreaking.

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<v Speaker 2>How did this impact you going forward with other future people?

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<v Speaker 2>When your first love has cheated on you must have hurt.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, it definitely left me with a whole load

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<v Speaker 1>of trust issues from a very early age, Like I

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<v Speaker 1>was so trusting of him. I remember dropping him at

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<v Speaker 1>the airport and people saying to me, aren't you worried

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<v Speaker 1>he's gonna cheat on me? And I was like, no,

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<v Speaker 1>why would I be worried about that? Like He's not

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<v Speaker 1>gonna cheat on me, Like I just had no concept

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<v Speaker 1>that people could be so callous and mean.

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<v Speaker 2>He's not that stupid, he knows better.

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<v Speaker 1>But yeah, I remember, like I have this very strong memory.

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<v Speaker 1>I was driving to work. I think I had only

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<v Speaker 1>known for probably about I think it was a week,

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<v Speaker 1>and we stopped talking for that whole week, and I

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<v Speaker 1>was just like totally heartbroken, and I remember like driving

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<v Speaker 1>to work crying, listening to this really sad song Ham's

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<v Speaker 1>on the steering wheel, like balling my eyes out, and

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<v Speaker 1>I remember saying out loud to myself in the car,

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<v Speaker 1>I will never get over this. I will never get

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<v Speaker 1>over this, Like I just remember saying it, and truly,

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<v Speaker 1>to my core, I believed it. Like I was, like,

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<v Speaker 1>this has rocked me and I will never move on

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<v Speaker 1>from this.

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<v Speaker 2>And naturally you have, and you've fallen in love many

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<v Speaker 2>times since then. But I think, though, God, yeah, but

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<v Speaker 2>I think that first love breakup, especially in that circumstance,

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<v Speaker 2>is very hard.

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<v Speaker 1>Very hard to get over it. And I think, like,

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<v Speaker 1>if you're listening to this and you know you might

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<v Speaker 1>be trying to get over a first love, and you

0:11:31.320 --> 0:11:33.960
<v Speaker 1>might be like, it's impossible. It doesn't happen. I think

0:11:34.000 --> 0:11:37.760
<v Speaker 1>the great thing about experience and life, experience and dating

0:11:37.840 --> 0:11:39.959
<v Speaker 1>is that you realize that you do get over that

0:11:40.160 --> 0:11:43.480
<v Speaker 1>first love. It's a huge hurdle to get over, and

0:11:43.520 --> 0:11:47.000
<v Speaker 1>it's such a growth and learning experience. But once you

0:11:47.080 --> 0:11:50.280
<v Speaker 1>do get over it, everything becomes a lot easier from

0:11:50.320 --> 0:11:51.120
<v Speaker 1>that point moving.

0:11:51.240 --> 0:11:53.040
<v Speaker 2>It's almost like a stage you need in your life

0:11:53.120 --> 0:11:55.040
<v Speaker 2>to grow, Yeah, to develop.

0:11:55.640 --> 0:11:57.679
<v Speaker 1>But Matt, tell me about your first love.

0:11:58.800 --> 0:12:01.880
<v Speaker 2>My first love was with a girl and we dated

0:12:01.920 --> 0:12:05.920
<v Speaker 2>from sixteen to my actual eighteenth birthday. Wow, so a

0:12:05.960 --> 0:12:09.960
<v Speaker 2>bit like yours. We broke up on my eighteenth birthday.

0:12:10.040 --> 0:12:14.400
<v Speaker 2>I mentioned this on a previous episode. I cheated on her. Right,

0:12:14.520 --> 0:12:17.000
<v Speaker 2>So I went out and on my eighteenth went to

0:12:17.000 --> 0:12:19.440
<v Speaker 2>a nightclub and just kissed a bunch of random girls,

0:12:19.480 --> 0:12:21.439
<v Speaker 2>which meant nothing to me. It was like one of

0:12:21.480 --> 0:12:24.360
<v Speaker 2>your young relationships. So we were in that like were

0:12:24.400 --> 0:12:26.840
<v Speaker 2>we together, were we're not together? Stages like I don't know,

0:12:27.000 --> 0:12:28.199
<v Speaker 2>so long ago now.

0:12:28.120 --> 0:12:30.199
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, what do you think it was that made you

0:12:30.320 --> 0:12:30.960
<v Speaker 1>cheat on her?

0:12:31.920 --> 0:12:34.760
<v Speaker 2>I think it was because growing up I was never

0:12:34.840 --> 0:12:38.480
<v Speaker 2>the like the best looking kid. I had like acne,

0:12:38.679 --> 0:12:41.640
<v Speaker 2>buck teeth, all this sort of stuff. And then around

0:12:41.720 --> 0:12:45.720
<v Speaker 2>like nearly coming to my eighteenth birthday, seventeen, probably in

0:12:45.760 --> 0:12:48.320
<v Speaker 2>like nine months, I started to like lose my acne.

0:12:48.480 --> 0:12:51.520
<v Speaker 2>My face started to like form into this structured thing

0:12:51.559 --> 0:12:54.920
<v Speaker 2>you see before you now, and like I started to

0:12:54.960 --> 0:12:56.760
<v Speaker 2>get and I started to get like an overwhelming like

0:12:56.800 --> 0:12:59.920
<v Speaker 2>I leaned up. I started to get this overwhelming tenh

0:13:00.240 --> 0:13:02.680
<v Speaker 2>from girls, and I just was like, whoa, well, like

0:13:02.720 --> 0:13:05.160
<v Speaker 2>you know what I mean? And I was young, eighteen.

0:13:05.360 --> 0:13:06.559
<v Speaker 2>I don't know what to do with that, you know

0:13:06.600 --> 0:13:08.280
<v Speaker 2>what I mean, Like you've just got my license. I'm

0:13:08.320 --> 0:13:10.960
<v Speaker 2>in a nightclub. I'm pissed as all these girls that

0:13:11.000 --> 0:13:14.800
<v Speaker 2>are older than mere showing me attention. I just, yeah, cave.

0:13:15.080 --> 0:13:16.960
<v Speaker 2>I do regret it. But like I said before, it's

0:13:16.960 --> 0:13:18.760
<v Speaker 2>a part you need of your life that growing up

0:13:18.800 --> 0:13:20.199
<v Speaker 2>and makes you mature.

0:13:20.480 --> 0:13:23.720
<v Speaker 1>It's interesting because like you're the cheater and I was

0:13:23.720 --> 0:13:27.600
<v Speaker 1>the cheaty, so we're both different sides of the spectrum.

0:13:27.600 --> 0:13:30.120
<v Speaker 1>But I think a lot of young loves kind of

0:13:30.400 --> 0:13:33.040
<v Speaker 1>end in this deceit, which is really sad.

0:13:33.320 --> 0:13:36.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's a lot of people thinking, well, it's the

0:13:36.080 --> 0:13:38.760
<v Speaker 2>grass greener out there. What am I missing out on?

0:13:39.320 --> 0:13:41.120
<v Speaker 2>I love this person, but like I'm young is this

0:13:41.240 --> 0:13:43.560
<v Speaker 2>what I want to do for the rest of my life? Yeah, Like,

0:13:43.600 --> 0:13:45.600
<v Speaker 2>and I think they just realize that once they've cheated

0:13:45.679 --> 0:13:48.680
<v Speaker 2>and that that it's it's not like you do love

0:13:48.720 --> 0:13:50.720
<v Speaker 2>the person you're with, and the glass is not greener

0:13:50.760 --> 0:13:51.520
<v Speaker 2>on the other side.

0:13:51.760 --> 0:13:53.680
<v Speaker 1>How did you know it was love between you guys,

0:13:53.679 --> 0:13:56.200
<v Speaker 1>because obviously you were young, it was your first kind

0:13:56.200 --> 0:13:59.199
<v Speaker 1>of serious girlfriend. When did you know that you loved

0:13:59.240 --> 0:14:00.840
<v Speaker 1>her for years?

0:14:00.880 --> 0:14:03.480
<v Speaker 2>Like I wasn't really interested in any other girl, Like

0:14:03.520 --> 0:14:05.400
<v Speaker 2>I've never been like that growing up, and like I've

0:14:05.400 --> 0:14:08.080
<v Speaker 2>put all my energy into her and like was just

0:14:08.120 --> 0:14:08.880
<v Speaker 2>obsessed with her.

0:14:09.000 --> 0:14:11.960
<v Speaker 1>How does that love, like your first love, differ from

0:14:12.080 --> 0:14:14.080
<v Speaker 1>other loves that you've had since.

0:14:14.600 --> 0:14:17.640
<v Speaker 2>I think the main difference is that when you're that young,

0:14:18.320 --> 0:14:20.040
<v Speaker 2>the only thing you have to worry about is like

0:14:20.080 --> 0:14:24.440
<v Speaker 2>each other. Like now you know, like there's like bills, work, hobbies,

0:14:24.680 --> 0:14:27.000
<v Speaker 2>everything that you've got going on. But back then it

0:14:27.080 --> 0:14:28.600
<v Speaker 2>was just you're at school. What do you have to

0:14:28.600 --> 0:14:30.960
<v Speaker 2>worry about, like an exam? Yeah, it's just the two

0:14:31.000 --> 0:14:33.160
<v Speaker 2>of you. So a lot of people define first love

0:14:33.160 --> 0:14:35.400
<v Speaker 2>in different ways. They say, it's like your puppy love,

0:14:35.680 --> 0:14:38.960
<v Speaker 2>it's your my strongest love. How would you define first love? Anna?

0:14:39.640 --> 0:14:42.200
<v Speaker 1>Okay, So this love, I guess for me is kind

0:14:42.200 --> 0:14:45.359
<v Speaker 1>of like that fairy tale love. It's that all consuming

0:14:45.480 --> 0:14:48.240
<v Speaker 1>puppy love. At the time, I think, you think it's

0:14:48.240 --> 0:14:51.520
<v Speaker 1>gonna last forever. You hope it's gonna last forever, but

0:14:51.600 --> 0:14:55.160
<v Speaker 1>it rarely does. Often we experience our first love in

0:14:55.240 --> 0:14:58.560
<v Speaker 1>high school whomen were pretty young, and usually it ends

0:14:58.680 --> 0:15:02.000
<v Speaker 1>just because two people I either grow apart or they

0:15:02.040 --> 0:15:05.000
<v Speaker 1>have some sort of trivial argument and the relationship just

0:15:05.160 --> 0:15:09.280
<v Speaker 1>isn't strong enough to withstand those kind of like milestones

0:15:09.280 --> 0:15:11.640
<v Speaker 1>that you go through in relationships just because you have

0:15:11.840 --> 0:15:13.000
<v Speaker 1>so much growth to do.

0:15:13.120 --> 0:15:15.880
<v Speaker 2>Right, Well, yeah, I mean like when mine ended, I

0:15:15.960 --> 0:15:18.880
<v Speaker 2>was eighteen, and I was like upset and sad about it,

0:15:18.920 --> 0:15:21.080
<v Speaker 2>But at the same time, I was like, one door's

0:15:21.120 --> 0:15:23.920
<v Speaker 2>close and literally another one is opened, So I was like,

0:15:23.920 --> 0:15:29.440
<v Speaker 2>all right, time to go through this door. And why

0:15:29.520 --> 0:15:31.160
<v Speaker 2>is your first love so important? Then?

0:15:31.360 --> 0:15:34.960
<v Speaker 1>Look, it definitely affects the way you approach your future relationships.

0:15:35.000 --> 0:15:37.720
<v Speaker 1>As I said before, it's definitely a learning curve. Once

0:15:37.720 --> 0:15:41.560
<v Speaker 1>you've experienced something so amazing and beautiful like falling in

0:15:41.600 --> 0:15:44.440
<v Speaker 1>love for the first time, then you're likely to continue

0:15:44.480 --> 0:15:46.920
<v Speaker 1>to chase that feeling. And I guess as you go

0:15:47.080 --> 0:15:49.800
<v Speaker 1>through more and more relationships, you start to realize what

0:15:49.840 --> 0:15:52.840
<v Speaker 1>you like, what you don't like, what is a non

0:15:52.840 --> 0:15:55.680
<v Speaker 1>negotiable for you, and what you're willing to compromise on.

0:15:56.320 --> 0:15:58.480
<v Speaker 2>Is that the major reason why people are hung up

0:15:58.480 --> 0:16:00.960
<v Speaker 2>on their first love long after the relationship is ended.

0:16:01.080 --> 0:16:04.280
<v Speaker 1>I mean potentially, like if you've not found someone who

0:16:04.320 --> 0:16:07.640
<v Speaker 1>you think is as compatible with you as your first love,

0:16:08.000 --> 0:16:10.080
<v Speaker 1>then yeah, like of course you're going to hold onto that.

0:16:10.120 --> 0:16:12.440
<v Speaker 1>And I mean my first love, I feel like I

0:16:12.600 --> 0:16:16.920
<v Speaker 1>held onto him for a long time after that relationship ended. Yeah,

0:16:17.040 --> 0:16:17.880
<v Speaker 1>one hundred percent.

0:16:18.040 --> 0:16:19.920
<v Speaker 2>Do you think that's because you're so heartbroken from what

0:16:19.960 --> 0:16:21.560
<v Speaker 2>he did or just because.

0:16:21.360 --> 0:16:23.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I think it was because I was so burned.

0:16:23.880 --> 0:16:26.640
<v Speaker 1>I actually ended up having like a beautiful six year

0:16:26.680 --> 0:16:32.080
<v Speaker 1>relationship with my first serious boyfriend. And after that relationship finished,

0:16:32.080 --> 0:16:36.560
<v Speaker 1>I remember I saw my first love out at the club.

0:16:37.080 --> 0:16:40.520
<v Speaker 1>He wasn't djaying that he was out, and then we

0:16:40.640 --> 0:16:43.600
<v Speaker 1>ended up going home together. But like we just talked

0:16:43.640 --> 0:16:45.960
<v Speaker 1>all night, Like we didn't have sex or anything. It

0:16:46.040 --> 0:16:49.880
<v Speaker 1>was just like we made out. Oh yeah, like we kissed,

0:16:49.920 --> 0:16:51.520
<v Speaker 1>but that was it and we just like stayed in

0:16:51.560 --> 0:16:54.320
<v Speaker 1>bed together and just like spoke all night, and I

0:16:54.360 --> 0:16:57.440
<v Speaker 1>remember it was so funny because like, because he hurt

0:16:57.480 --> 0:17:00.160
<v Speaker 1>me so much, I think I put him. Although I

0:17:00.200 --> 0:17:03.000
<v Speaker 1>hated him and had so much anger and resentment towards him,

0:17:03.040 --> 0:17:06.879
<v Speaker 1>I think I also accidentally put him on this pedestal

0:17:06.880 --> 0:17:10.080
<v Speaker 1>where I was like, was anything ever as good as him?

0:17:10.520 --> 0:17:14.359
<v Speaker 1>And like I guess maybe throughout, like my relationships after that,

0:17:14.480 --> 0:17:17.360
<v Speaker 1>I had this what if kind of feeling or I

0:17:17.400 --> 0:17:20.040
<v Speaker 1>was like, what if it did work out with him?

0:17:20.320 --> 0:17:23.680
<v Speaker 1>So anyway, when I had that opportunity after a long

0:17:23.800 --> 0:17:26.960
<v Speaker 1>term relationship, obviously I took it, and I you know,

0:17:27.080 --> 0:17:30.040
<v Speaker 1>we spoke all night, and even when I kissed him,

0:17:30.080 --> 0:17:34.119
<v Speaker 1>that spark in like chemistry was definitely still there. But

0:17:34.200 --> 0:17:36.600
<v Speaker 1>I just I don't know, Like I woke up the

0:17:36.640 --> 0:17:39.359
<v Speaker 1>next day and I remember thinking, if I was to

0:17:39.520 --> 0:17:42.840
<v Speaker 1>never speak to you again, I'm gonna be okay with it.

0:17:43.040 --> 0:17:46.240
<v Speaker 1>And now I guess, like hanging out with him, even

0:17:46.240 --> 0:17:48.959
<v Speaker 1>although it was so good, we just like we still

0:17:49.280 --> 0:17:52.520
<v Speaker 1>you know, fell back into that like me and him

0:17:52.640 --> 0:17:55.240
<v Speaker 1>kind of vibe and we could just like easily talk

0:17:55.280 --> 0:17:59.360
<v Speaker 1>and everything like that, like nothing was wrong because it's yeah,

0:17:59.400 --> 0:18:02.320
<v Speaker 1>it was just but I kind of I feel like

0:18:02.720 --> 0:18:05.160
<v Speaker 1>because I was able to have that experience, I took

0:18:05.200 --> 0:18:07.320
<v Speaker 1>him off that pedestal that I had put him on

0:18:07.400 --> 0:18:09.440
<v Speaker 1>for so many years, and I was able to get

0:18:09.520 --> 0:18:10.520
<v Speaker 1>rid of that what if.

0:18:10.680 --> 0:18:11.920
<v Speaker 2>So that was almost like closure.

0:18:12.280 --> 0:18:15.280
<v Speaker 1>It was closure for sure, And so that's I guess

0:18:15.280 --> 0:18:16.960
<v Speaker 1>why the reason I didn't feel like the need to

0:18:16.960 --> 0:18:18.920
<v Speaker 1>have sex with him, or like I didn't really want

0:18:18.960 --> 0:18:21.719
<v Speaker 1>to like kind of open account of work to go

0:18:21.840 --> 0:18:25.800
<v Speaker 1>back to describe it, but like, yeah, and I think

0:18:25.880 --> 0:18:28.199
<v Speaker 1>like leaving his house, I was just like okay, like

0:18:28.320 --> 0:18:30.160
<v Speaker 1>i can move on with my life and I'm never

0:18:30.240 --> 0:18:33.080
<v Speaker 1>going to be like what if, Like what if he

0:18:33.119 --> 0:18:35.320
<v Speaker 1>didn't cheat on me at school? Is could we have

0:18:36.000 --> 0:18:37.200
<v Speaker 1>been together forever?

0:18:37.480 --> 0:18:39.880
<v Speaker 2>M Well, that's good that you got that closure from

0:18:39.880 --> 0:18:42.800
<v Speaker 2>that first love. I'd say I didn't really need it

0:18:42.880 --> 0:18:46.680
<v Speaker 2>from mine. She's now recently got engaged, like in the

0:18:46.760 --> 0:18:49.240
<v Speaker 2>last year, and to see her doing well, I think

0:18:49.280 --> 0:18:51.080
<v Speaker 2>if we'd stay together, she wouldn't be as happy as

0:18:51.080 --> 0:18:52.800
<v Speaker 2>she is now and I wouldn't be the person I

0:18:52.840 --> 0:18:55.120
<v Speaker 2>am now either, So so you know it was meant

0:18:55.280 --> 0:18:57.160
<v Speaker 2>it was meant to be. Yeah, I've done so much

0:18:57.160 --> 0:18:59.720
<v Speaker 2>experiences in my life that like make me who I

0:18:59.720 --> 0:19:01.520
<v Speaker 2>am and fine who I am, and I love who

0:19:01.520 --> 0:19:04.320
<v Speaker 2>I am. So I'm happy that we broke up when

0:19:04.359 --> 0:19:04.720
<v Speaker 2>we did.

0:19:05.040 --> 0:19:07.720
<v Speaker 1>I'm actually like, it's so nice that we're both over

0:19:08.000 --> 0:19:11.520
<v Speaker 1>our first loves. But so many people do hold on

0:19:11.600 --> 0:19:15.000
<v Speaker 1>to them and maybe haven't had that opportunity to kind

0:19:15.040 --> 0:19:18.000
<v Speaker 1>of explore and like they might still have that what

0:19:18.119 --> 0:19:21.000
<v Speaker 1>if kind of question mark over that person's head. So

0:19:21.119 --> 0:19:24.399
<v Speaker 1>let's talk about signs that you should have stayed with

0:19:24.440 --> 0:19:26.200
<v Speaker 1>your first love or maybe that you want to get

0:19:26.240 --> 0:19:27.200
<v Speaker 1>back together with them.

0:19:27.760 --> 0:19:30.679
<v Speaker 2>Okay, so the first one is pretty obvious, but you

0:19:30.760 --> 0:19:32.240
<v Speaker 2>both still have feelings for each other.

0:19:32.480 --> 0:19:34.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. When we say that, we mean both, like, not one,

0:19:34.960 --> 0:19:36.359
<v Speaker 1>not one, definitely both.

0:19:36.520 --> 0:19:38.879
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. So if you both do, I think that you

0:19:38.920 --> 0:19:42.680
<v Speaker 2>should communicate to each other and express that because that's

0:19:42.680 --> 0:19:43.480
<v Speaker 2>pretty important.

0:19:43.680 --> 0:19:47.840
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you still communicate openly, so you've never really lost contact.

0:19:47.880 --> 0:19:51.439
<v Speaker 1>You always kind of see yourself being magnetized back to

0:19:51.480 --> 0:19:52.360
<v Speaker 1>one another.

0:19:52.440 --> 0:19:56.159
<v Speaker 2>Falling back into each other's life. You think about them

0:19:56.200 --> 0:19:58.480
<v Speaker 2>when you're with someone else, so you compare your new

0:19:58.520 --> 0:20:00.440
<v Speaker 2>partner to them.

0:20:00.480 --> 0:20:03.120
<v Speaker 1>Is that a thing? Though? Do guys when they're having

0:20:03.160 --> 0:20:05.840
<v Speaker 1>sex with someone think about someone else. Have you ever

0:20:05.880 --> 0:20:06.239
<v Speaker 1>done that?

0:20:07.480 --> 0:20:14.600
<v Speaker 2>No, I think that's a whole other episode. Yeah, guys,

0:20:14.640 --> 0:20:14.879
<v Speaker 2>do that.

0:20:15.600 --> 0:20:16.360
<v Speaker 1>Have you done that?

0:20:17.320 --> 0:20:20.000
<v Speaker 2>Not in recent times, but like I haven't the passed

0:20:20.080 --> 0:20:24.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah wow. But I mean like you're comparing the relationship

0:20:24.480 --> 0:20:27.200
<v Speaker 2>style to the previous ones, so you're like, oh, well

0:20:27.480 --> 0:20:29.960
<v Speaker 2>you do this, but my they did that, So like

0:20:30.080 --> 0:20:32.480
<v Speaker 2>it's different and it's not good, but you shouldn't do that.

0:20:32.520 --> 0:20:33.560
<v Speaker 2>Each relationship is different.

0:20:33.920 --> 0:20:37.720
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. I think along the way your connection has continued

0:20:37.760 --> 0:20:40.639
<v Speaker 1>to grow even though you're not together necessarily. I think

0:20:41.080 --> 0:20:45.400
<v Speaker 1>if things still feel like they're progressing and evolving, you.

0:20:45.359 --> 0:20:47.400
<v Speaker 2>Feel extremely comfortable when you're around them.

0:20:47.640 --> 0:20:50.080
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's a big one. It's hard to feel really

0:20:50.080 --> 0:20:53.320
<v Speaker 1>comfortable around someone, and I think when you find those people,

0:20:54.119 --> 0:20:56.440
<v Speaker 1>you do tend to want to hold onto them because

0:20:56.440 --> 0:21:00.000
<v Speaker 1>it's just that level of comfortability safety as well. Safety. Yeah,

0:21:00.119 --> 0:21:03.200
<v Speaker 1>that's right. Another one is you have a gut feeling

0:21:03.359 --> 0:21:06.359
<v Speaker 1>you should be together. We always say this, always listen

0:21:06.400 --> 0:21:08.399
<v Speaker 1>to your gut. It's such a big one, and we

0:21:08.520 --> 0:21:11.480
<v Speaker 1>forget sometimes we get confused with the head and the heart.

0:21:11.560 --> 0:21:14.879
<v Speaker 1>But I feel like the gut feeling is always leading

0:21:14.920 --> 0:21:15.879
<v Speaker 1>you to the right path.

0:21:16.840 --> 0:21:19.840
<v Speaker 2>The reason you broke up was due to situational circumstances

0:21:19.960 --> 0:21:22.080
<v Speaker 2>rather than not being compatible.

0:21:22.359 --> 0:21:24.800
<v Speaker 1>So what would that be like if someone had to

0:21:24.840 --> 0:21:27.359
<v Speaker 1>move away, go away to a different country.

0:21:27.440 --> 0:21:31.800
<v Speaker 2>Yes, had like their work was too much? Sure, stuff

0:21:31.840 --> 0:21:32.840
<v Speaker 2>like that, you.

0:21:32.880 --> 0:21:37.320
<v Speaker 1>Had incredible sex. I'm sure right now everyone's thinking of

0:21:37.359 --> 0:21:40.240
<v Speaker 1>that one person who they had amazing sex with, who

0:21:40.240 --> 0:21:42.000
<v Speaker 1>they'd want to go back for around two.

0:21:44.160 --> 0:21:46.159
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's definitely something that you want to hold on to.

0:21:46.320 --> 0:21:49.800
<v Speaker 2>Incredible sex. You call each other for support even though

0:21:49.800 --> 0:21:51.840
<v Speaker 2>you guys aren't together, they're still who you go to

0:21:51.920 --> 0:21:53.080
<v Speaker 2>for emotional support.

0:21:53.520 --> 0:21:55.879
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's a big one. And finally, you've kept a

0:21:55.920 --> 0:21:59.080
<v Speaker 1>hold of the sentimental things from the relationship. So whether

0:21:59.119 --> 0:22:02.359
<v Speaker 1>that be car gifts, whatever it might be.

0:22:02.560 --> 0:22:08.040
<v Speaker 2>Pj's like personal jokes, stuff that like, yeah, stuff you

0:22:08.080 --> 0:22:08.719
<v Speaker 2>shared together.

0:22:08.880 --> 0:22:11.840
<v Speaker 1>Yep. Okay, guys, it's that time of the show that

0:22:11.880 --> 0:22:14.359
<v Speaker 1>you've all been waiting for. It's time for where's our

0:22:14.400 --> 0:22:18.399
<v Speaker 1>head at? All? Right?

0:22:18.440 --> 0:22:20.400
<v Speaker 2>This is my favorite bit of the show Anna where

0:22:20.440 --> 0:22:22.320
<v Speaker 2>we get to hear from you guys. You get to

0:22:22.359 --> 0:22:25.359
<v Speaker 2>ask us where our heads are at. So we start

0:22:25.359 --> 0:22:26.160
<v Speaker 2>off today with.

0:22:27.200 --> 0:22:30.480
<v Speaker 1>I am still stuck on my first love. Everyone I

0:22:30.640 --> 0:22:33.800
<v Speaker 1>date never measures up. To the feeling I had with

0:22:33.840 --> 0:22:36.960
<v Speaker 1>my first love. What do I do now? I want

0:22:37.000 --> 0:22:39.520
<v Speaker 1>to have another go, but he has moved on with

0:22:39.600 --> 0:22:40.560
<v Speaker 1>someone new.

0:22:41.200 --> 0:22:43.679
<v Speaker 2>Well, you're not a home wrecker, so I think the

0:22:43.680 --> 0:22:47.040
<v Speaker 2>best thing is you do the right steps to move on.

0:22:47.440 --> 0:22:49.840
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I think move on. I think when someone's in

0:22:49.880 --> 0:22:53.320
<v Speaker 1>a new relationship, I just think it's wrong to disrupt that,

0:22:54.160 --> 0:22:55.520
<v Speaker 1>and I think it's quite selfish.

0:22:55.720 --> 0:22:58.840
<v Speaker 2>What you should do is you should literally try everything

0:22:58.840 --> 0:23:02.680
<v Speaker 2>you can book yourself holiday now, go to some life therapy,

0:23:02.760 --> 0:23:04.640
<v Speaker 2>just to move on from that person, because you don't

0:23:04.640 --> 0:23:06.359
<v Speaker 2>want to wreck that relationship he's in. He'll hate you

0:23:06.359 --> 0:23:06.760
<v Speaker 2>even more.

0:23:06.800 --> 0:23:10.240
<v Speaker 1>Maybe, Yeah, hook up with other people distract yourself, and.

0:23:10.440 --> 0:23:12.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm not a believer in that. Yeah.

0:23:12.280 --> 0:23:13.200
<v Speaker 1>I No, you're not bad.

0:23:14.640 --> 0:23:16.400
<v Speaker 2>I don't think you can get under to get over.

0:23:16.760 --> 0:23:19.400
<v Speaker 1>I think get under to get over. And I think

0:23:19.440 --> 0:23:23.040
<v Speaker 1>every time you catch yourself thinking about that guy, slowly

0:23:23.119 --> 0:23:25.240
<v Speaker 1>move your thoughts to someone else, because it's just not

0:23:25.359 --> 0:23:26.840
<v Speaker 1>healthy to obsess over someone.

0:23:27.000 --> 0:23:30.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Okay, So our next listener says, I still don't

0:23:30.800 --> 0:23:33.280
<v Speaker 2>think I had the first love moment. It's hard because

0:23:33.320 --> 0:23:35.760
<v Speaker 2>I can only compare to a few relationships I've had.

0:23:36.119 --> 0:23:38.359
<v Speaker 2>I'm now twenty five and I don't think I've even

0:23:38.440 --> 0:23:42.119
<v Speaker 2>had my first love, let alone twin flame or soulmate. Help.

0:23:42.359 --> 0:23:44.760
<v Speaker 2>Don't force it, dude, just like go with it and

0:23:44.840 --> 0:23:46.320
<v Speaker 2>eventually they'll come into your life.

0:23:46.560 --> 0:23:50.240
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I think you know what. Just be open if

0:23:50.280 --> 0:23:52.919
<v Speaker 1>you are putting yourself into situations where you can be

0:23:52.960 --> 0:23:56.040
<v Speaker 1>meeting new people. Make sure you're on dating apps and

0:23:56.080 --> 0:23:59.600
<v Speaker 1>you're doing everything you can to put yourself out there.

0:24:00.119 --> 0:24:02.920
<v Speaker 2>Love comes in the craziest times, in the craziest places.

0:24:02.960 --> 0:24:05.040
<v Speaker 2>Both Anna and myself we're not looking for our most

0:24:05.040 --> 0:24:09.120
<v Speaker 2>recent relationships, and yet here we are. So Mac. Yeah,

0:24:09.320 --> 0:24:12.360
<v Speaker 2>more of the story is put yourself in situations where

0:24:12.359 --> 0:24:14.720
<v Speaker 2>you can find someone, and you will. I believe in you.

0:24:15.160 --> 0:24:20.520
<v Speaker 2>Just don't force it. Okay, that's all we've got time

0:24:20.560 --> 0:24:23.359
<v Speaker 2>for today. Do you feel like though you wouldn't be

0:24:23.400 --> 0:24:25.560
<v Speaker 2>the girlfriend you are to Michael if you'd never had

0:24:25.600 --> 0:24:27.080
<v Speaker 2>that heartbreak from your first love.

0:24:27.280 --> 0:24:30.480
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, I would probably be a lot more sane and

0:24:30.640 --> 0:24:32.320
<v Speaker 1>have a lot less trust issues.

0:24:34.160 --> 0:24:38.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, well that's true. Sorry, Michael, That fucking mister DJ's

0:24:38.800 --> 0:24:39.680
<v Speaker 2>may've done this for you.

0:24:41.520 --> 0:24:44.560
<v Speaker 1>Okay, guys, make sure you keep on top of our socials.

0:24:44.800 --> 0:24:47.520
<v Speaker 1>Please give us a five star review. It really helps

0:24:47.600 --> 0:24:50.000
<v Speaker 1>our podcasts and until next time Catchure.

0:24:50.080 --> 0:24:53.040
<v Speaker 2>Bye.