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Speaker 1: Approache production. Well, I was out of school, but the

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Speaker 1: studying nine A bitting spelled from three schools already I

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Speaker 1: was suspended and I was just from wagging fighting everyone

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Speaker 1: like this. And when I started to hang around these

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Speaker 1: groups of kids like lads and essays and all I

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Speaker 1: saw a sudden. I was like, these groups would go, hey,

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Speaker 1: do you want to come over to mine and drink

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Speaker 1: on the weekend. And then I'm getting invited to like parties,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like fuck yeah, like I'm a part of

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Speaker 1: something now, you know. And then so I'd go there

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Speaker 1: drink with mates and everybody, so I have the best

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Speaker 1: web time ever. Older then that would have been about

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Speaker 1: twelve twelve, eleven twelve years old. Eleven twelve years old

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Speaker 1: and you've gone over to drinks some parties and all

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Speaker 1: that kind of shit.

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Speaker 2: You know. I started like fuck, I started like heavy drugs,

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Speaker 2: and I was like I.

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Speaker 1: Started like like meth and speed and everything when I

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Speaker 1: was like twelve thirteen years old.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: And that's why when we were hanging around each other

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Speaker 1: like these things, as I was saying my role models

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Speaker 1: with these older brothers. And then late twenties, early twenties

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Speaker 1: in and out of jail like lads like they're like

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Speaker 1: smoking ice, fucking injected math like all this sort of

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Speaker 1: shit that was the scene. Would look up to them

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Speaker 1: and would always be drunk on the weekends. I'd smoke

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Speaker 1: weed you know this, and then but they would always

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Speaker 1: come out and they're like fucking like cooked and shit,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, how can they drunk?

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Speaker 2: You know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: And then like one of the older brothers sort of

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Speaker 1: took me under his wing, like because I was we

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Speaker 1: have my best mate's older brother was like one of

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Speaker 1: the big older boys there that we all looked up to.

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Speaker 1: And I would always be over the house on the weekends.

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Speaker 1: I like, hey, bro, like this coming over. We made

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Speaker 1: we became a good amaze. But I was a little one.

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Speaker 1: They would always go and do everything with him, like

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Speaker 1: would go and break and edit together, rob bottle is together,

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Speaker 1: like fucking everything like that, run into service stations would rob,

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Speaker 1: take as much stuff as we could and run like

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Speaker 1: bottle of the same thing running belloclaves on take bottles

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Speaker 1: of run then run out like that was but I

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Speaker 1: was the only one to do. Everyone else is too scared.

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Speaker 1: But I had zero fus so me and him got

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Speaker 1: really close. So and he's like I'm talking like like

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Speaker 1: nearly thirty and I'm like twelve, thirteen years old, you know.

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Speaker 1: And then one night he pulled me in the room.

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Speaker 1: He's like, you have something this, eat this, and you

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Speaker 1: had like a note like a no, And he pulled

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Speaker 1: out the stuff and cle bags put this on your

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Speaker 1: tongue and me put that on my tongue and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: oh that in the next minute, like im fucking cook.

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Speaker 1: Like that was he fed me speed and then that

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Speaker 1: was me at twelve years old, you know. And then

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Speaker 1: I started taking speed and then that was my next thing.

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Speaker 1: Because we sat in the room just like this all night,

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Speaker 1: door locked, and I'll dream of having a connection like

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Speaker 1: this with someone, you know, and we'll sit in the

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Speaker 1: room off our fucking head all night chat and like

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Speaker 1: having big dnms, like talking about life and what we're

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Speaker 1: going to do together, like where we're gonna rob, we're

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Speaker 1: gonna do like yeah, we're brothers, like shut hug each

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Speaker 1: other and shit like off your fucking head.

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Speaker 2: But I love this, you know.

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Speaker 1: This was a connection I never had being a part

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Speaker 1: of something getting off my head, having friends, being in

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Speaker 1: a circle like these crime drugs, graffiti, violence.

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Speaker 2: This was more important than my family. My family always there.

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Speaker 2: What was you brother doing? When you see he seen you?

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Speaker 1: He did the opposite. He resented me. He was I

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Speaker 1: was me and him. He was always the good kid,

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Speaker 1: and he'd just be like this. He resented me a

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Speaker 1: lot because I'll be sneaking in and I'm like, don't

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Speaker 1: tell you I'm going out, and then he'll tell them

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Speaker 1: and I'll be like, fuck you your dog. Like you know,

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Speaker 1: I took a lot of stuff. I'd never beat him

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Speaker 1: or anything like that, but we did have like arguments.

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Speaker 2: He's a little bit.

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Speaker 1: I love my little brother death now, but back then

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Speaker 1: he was the one I was telling on me and

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Speaker 1: in the group I was coming from, like if you're

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Speaker 1: a dog, you're a snit training like this, you're fucking

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Speaker 1: you're you're med dead. To me, you stood a big kid.

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Speaker 1: Then when you got to I started losing a bit

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Speaker 1: of weight on the drugs bad. That's when I started

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Speaker 1: losing a bit of weight and I got pretty lean.

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Speaker 1: Like I got pretty I was pretty cracked out. I

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Speaker 1: was using drugs all the time. And then because what

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Speaker 1: I do my weekly if you'd be wake up or

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Speaker 1: if when I do wake up go stealing, you know.

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Speaker 1: I would go to Meyer's David Jones to go get

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Speaker 1: more drugs, like I go on to Meyer's David Jones

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Speaker 1: for like nordal Capolo is like you know, like lad shit,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I'd go on there and

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Speaker 1: I'm going to Meyers and I'll be popping beepers. I

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Speaker 1: had a beeper gun at one point where I'll just

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Speaker 1: pop beepers off and then I'll just fill up, Like

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Speaker 1: I'll put a bag underneath the fucking set of clothes,

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Speaker 1: like I tuck it under and they'll just roll up

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Speaker 1: shirts fill the bag. I'll get thirty forty polos in

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Speaker 1: this fucking duffle bag and they would just scoop up

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Speaker 1: the bag and then walk out, fucking walk out the

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Speaker 1: door and his cruiser with like forty fifty shirts easy.

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Speaker 1: I did that on a regular I used to get

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Speaker 1: shopping lists from people. I used to rob the sunglasses

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Speaker 1: that you're going there with a boost juice and then

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Speaker 1: try Sunny's on them when she's not looking.

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Speaker 2: You put the Sunnies in the boot juice of his

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Speaker 2: like crim shit, you know.

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Speaker 1: But I would go start for gear like I would

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Speaker 1: go fuck five grands worth of shirts for like one

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Speaker 1: hundred doll a point of gear, just one little hit.

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Speaker 1: I was like this to get me through that day.

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Speaker 1: Like I was just like here, pull this, and I

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Speaker 1: had people I could sell it. I can sell meat,

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Speaker 1: like doing meat.

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Speaker 2: We're actually going to how much you're making a week.

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Speaker 2: I don't know money wise. I was just just spending gear.

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Speaker 2: Money was never I never did it for money.

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Speaker 1: It was just I was just so you could just

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Speaker 1: put my heart and you get off my head because

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Speaker 1: I was like living on the streets.

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Speaker 2: How much we were taking then how much we were

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Speaker 2: taking of that we.

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Speaker 1: Fuck well, like you get a point and it'll last

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Speaker 1: me day at that point, so the points sounded like

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Speaker 1: one hundred bucks on the heavy using but that point.

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Speaker 2: But then when I started using more regularly.

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Speaker 1: You'd go through a ball a day, or like you

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Speaker 1: use a fucking the end of the week, you're going

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Speaker 1: through a quarter a half an hour. It's gear or

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Speaker 1: something like that, like eating points all day or two points.

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Speaker 1: And then when I started smoking ice, it's fucking there's

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Speaker 1: game over. Like none of the boys around you who

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Speaker 1: you're doing the robbin, we've seen you getting out of

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Speaker 1: control or they looked at it.

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Speaker 2: They look we were living. That whole scene was like

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Speaker 2: that was normal. There was no one to be like.

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Speaker 1: But they live with their parents too, No, yeah, some

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Speaker 1: some would live.

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Speaker 2: Yeah we had houses.

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Speaker 1: We stayed at it, but like the mom didn't really

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Speaker 1: give a function getting on the drugs with us.

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Speaker 2: Things like that. That was the whole wom're just stealing fighting.

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Speaker 2: I was my whole. That's how I grew up. It

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Speaker 2: was this off metal time.

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Speaker 1: Stealing violence is like fighting on weekends, painting trains, painting.

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Speaker 2: Like I love graffeiting. I still love grafeeding. I love it.

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Speaker 2: It's like a part. But like you get off your head.

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Speaker 1: You sit there all night sketching a book all night

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Speaker 1: and the sunrise is coming up and you're like, oh fuck,

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Speaker 1: and you meant to go out graffiti, go paint and

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Speaker 1: train or go paint something that night, but you get.

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Speaker 2: Lost in this book.

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Speaker 1: Because yeah, a lot of people relate to that if

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Speaker 1: you get GRAFEEDI and everything.

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Speaker 2: But like that's the whole scene. And then after I

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Speaker 2: was using from what twelve or.

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Speaker 1: Up till about I was eighteen, and then I started

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Speaker 1: seeing this chick, started seeing this chick that was hanging around,

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Speaker 1: was just getting on the drugs and she wasn't healthy,

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Speaker 1: you know, it was just but I started to get

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Speaker 1: comfortable with her.

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Speaker 2: So I started to get real fat. I started to

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Speaker 2: I can hate myself.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't a part of the boys, and so I'm like,

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Speaker 1: fucking seil add a bitch, I'm.

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Speaker 2: Out run down back to the boys, like see, I'm done.

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Speaker 1: So I broken off with her and then started going

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Speaker 1: back out with the boys, started paying, started doing everything

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Speaker 1: I love again, fighting, just having fun.

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Speaker 2: That was fun to me, you know.

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Speaker 1: And then while I was drinking my night at this

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Speaker 1: gil Hoollies pub with the boys in that and then

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Speaker 1: they got a message saying.

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Speaker 2: That you misses out with two of my mates. So

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Speaker 2: meant to be two of my mates, and she's hooking

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Speaker 2: up with one of them. She's kissing, like getting with

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Speaker 2: them and shit.

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Speaker 1: And to me, like I'm all about loyalty, that was

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Speaker 1: my whole thing. I was the most loyal person, Like

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Speaker 1: I have fought for these guys, like I've stolen from them.

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Speaker 1: I'll put fucking roof over the head when they didn't

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Speaker 1: have shit, I'll get them stuff like I'd steal them stuff.

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Speaker 2: So they could eat. I was like I was always

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Speaker 2: for my mates.

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Speaker 1: Like I was always for my brothers, anyone who they

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Speaker 1: were like family to me, you know, and I would

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Speaker 1: do anything for them, and I always did.

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Speaker 2: I always wanted to throw the first punch when they

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Speaker 2: were too scared.

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Speaker 1: I was one of someone was picking on them, old

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Speaker 1: stand up and that sort of shit like brotherhood loyalty.

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Speaker 2: That was me a hundred through.

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Speaker 1: So when I found out they did this to me,

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Speaker 1: I just seen fucking red and I was fat again.

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Speaker 1: I fucking hated myself and I was just like fucking

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Speaker 1: I just wanted to go kill these cans and everyone.

201
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Speaker 1: And then I ended up just breaking down crying in

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Speaker 1: this car park neim. I'm like in gil Hilly's terms,

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Speaker 1: which was close to my parents' house. I was just

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Speaker 1: everything's fell apart. Because when you're in the scene, you

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Speaker 1: get on a little time, you really your mental health

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Speaker 1: doesn't come into it, you know, like you don't come

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Speaker 1: because I never came down, bro, I never had come

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Speaker 1: downs because I was always fucking high, you know, and

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Speaker 1: your mental health only starts getting bad later, like you

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Speaker 1: don't like have your first piping.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, my mental states fuck after a long time.

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Speaker 1: So I guess over time when this happened, all these

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Speaker 1: emotions come up because obviously I'm going through the break

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Speaker 1: up as well.

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Speaker 2: I was going through this.

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Speaker 1: And then I haven't seen my family in fucking years,

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Speaker 1: like you know, I mean mylone's sleeping couches, Like what

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Speaker 1: am I doing?

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Speaker 2: And I was fat again.

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Speaker 1: I hated myself so and the trauma of me being

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Speaker 1: fat as a kid, like I've just got fat and

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Speaker 1: insecure again.

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Speaker 2: So I just broke down crying.

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Speaker 1: And then something made me this my parents' house, lived

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Speaker 1: this up the road, and so I'm like and go

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Speaker 1: back to my dads. I was just fucking drunk crying,

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Speaker 1: just walk back up to mom and dads. And when

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Speaker 1: I went back up to mom and dads, I got

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Speaker 1: like around the corner and I was just like, what

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Speaker 1: I meant to say to my mom and dad? I mean,

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Speaker 1: like I haven't seen them in years, like i've heard them,

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Speaker 1: I like I've been on the Missing Persons and so

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Speaker 1: I don't even see me what I meant to do,

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Speaker 1: like I'll go up and just tell them all this shit.

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Speaker 2: And I was just like fuck this. So and I've.

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Speaker 1: Obviously really hurt from all the other stuff that's going on.

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Speaker 1: And then I went over to the school. So at

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Speaker 1: the school across the road from mom and dads, that's

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Speaker 1: where I started drinking when I was a kid, and

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Speaker 1: graffiti as a kid and ever like this, and started

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Speaker 1: getting in that like so when to the school used

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Speaker 1: to I used to drink up on this rooftop and

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Speaker 1: I was just up there just crying and crying and crying.

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Speaker 1: And then I can't see my mom and dad. I

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Speaker 1: can't see them. I've hurt them my whole life, all

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Speaker 1: my mates. So I thought my were brothers. They were

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Speaker 1: meant to be there for me and my loyalty. They

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Speaker 1: were fucking spat in my face and I've got no one.

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Speaker 1: I'm alone and fat as fucking I fucking hate myself.

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Speaker 1: And then I tried jumping off the roof. I tried

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Speaker 1: taking my own life, and I was like hey, net

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Speaker 1: and then yeah, and then I came to after doing that,

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Speaker 1: and I just woke up. My bank was fucked, and

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Speaker 1: I was just like, I walked across the road to

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Speaker 1: mom and dads.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Then I walked across the home back to mom and dads,

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Speaker 1: and it's knocked on the door and told him what happened,

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Speaker 1: and that Mum and Dad was like, what the fuck

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like, are you fucking serious

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Speaker 1: do taking my life?

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Speaker 2: And I was just like, well, I don't know what

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Speaker 2: to do. I'm so sorry, and I was broke down

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Speaker 2: to them.

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Speaker 1: The plan was my dad was working over in christ

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Speaker 1: Church on the rebuilding for like builders and doing everything

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Speaker 1: over there. So the plan was and I was like,

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Speaker 1: I'm done. I'm fucking done with this life. I need

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Speaker 1: to get out of here, like you know, I'll just

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Speaker 1: fucking after that. I need to make a change. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I got to change my life. And then the plan

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Speaker 1: was that I go over to christ Church to help

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Speaker 1: Dad with the rebuild, get over there, get off the drugs,

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Speaker 1: get off everything.

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Speaker 2: He start. Can't just start changing my life? And I did.

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Speaker 1: So I went over to christ Church with Dad, started

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Speaker 1: to work with him, got healthy, got fit. One of

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Speaker 1: his building mates was a like a in the bodybuilding

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Speaker 1: and stuff. He did me up a meal plan and

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Speaker 1: he said, here, just go do this in the gym.

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Speaker 1: Gave me a little program and I was going there

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Speaker 1: morning and afternoon training.

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Speaker 2: I was working during the day and.

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Speaker 1: I was about one hundred and twenty one killers when

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Speaker 1: I went over there, and then I lost about forty

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Speaker 1: two kilos. I come down on what it was I

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Speaker 1: rock with down around seventies, so I took about forty

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Speaker 1: plus kilos over there. Was feeling good, have my abs out,

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Speaker 1: feeling fucking me again. I'm like, fuck, yeah, I feel awesome.

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Speaker 1: I'm like when I started getting back on social media

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Speaker 1: over in christ Church, I started looking and seeing all

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Speaker 1: people out at club them and having fun and like

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Speaker 1: all made someone were going out and they having like

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Speaker 1: birthday parties and groups of mates doing that, and I'm like, fuck,

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Speaker 1: I'm missing out of life. I want to go back

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Speaker 1: and show over run that I've changed.

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Speaker 2: You know, I've seen boys, yeah, no people I didn't know.

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Speaker 1: There were people that were in the scene that I know,

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Speaker 1: and there was other people that knew like I knew everyone,

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Speaker 1: like I knew everyone from just being a part of

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Speaker 1: any parties and shit. But I seen like risk in

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Speaker 1: a way respectable people going out and then I was

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Speaker 1: like fuck, I started looking good and I said, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to go back and show over and I've

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Speaker 1: changed everyone who dabed to me, the people who stabbed

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Speaker 1: me in the back. Actually, everyone, they can all get fucked.

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Speaker 1: We'll come back. I'm looking mad on the show over

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Speaker 1: and I was like, going to be my I'm back.

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Speaker 1: I told Dad. I'm like I'm done, man, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: go home and change my life. You know, I'll see

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Speaker 1: you later on fucking out. And he's like, God, I

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Speaker 1: don't think he's a good idea.

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Speaker 2: This is like four months, three four months. And he's

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Speaker 2: just like, I don't think it's a good idea. And

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Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't give a fuck. I'm like, can't

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Speaker 2: I always I'm gonna want I'm getting a play in ASA.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I've got money, I'm getting my own plane.