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Speaker 1: Yeah, we find babe, good luck, get some fucking good

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Speaker 1: food and good alcohol.

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Speaker 2: And hi.

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Speaker 3: Thursday Girl's Guide and went back with some dilemmas because

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Speaker 3: a few of you guys have sending your dilemmas that

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Speaker 3: you need answers to guys, the doctor's salmone easier here

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Speaker 3: to help.

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Speaker 4: We don't.

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Speaker 2: We're here to s out your life.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so I'll just dive straight in. Do't wait dilemma

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Speaker 4: number one? Oh, I have for real need help for

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Speaker 4: she really does. My friend basically started talking to my stepbrother,

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Speaker 4: who was a bad person, after we agreed that nothing

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Speaker 4: was going to happen in between them. Nothing was going

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Speaker 4: to happen between.

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Speaker 1: So obviously there was maybe a bit of a vibe

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Speaker 1: and the friend was like, no, I promise I would

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Speaker 1: never go there, all right.

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Speaker 4: As a result of them talking, I started to become distant.

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Speaker 4: Now she left my group because I confronted her and

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Speaker 4: told her I feel uncomfortable with them dating because I

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Speaker 4: feel like I can't talk to her any more. Have

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Speaker 4: I fucked things up? What would you do? Seriously, she

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Speaker 4: dropped the whole friendship group and is saying it's all

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Speaker 4: my fault.

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Speaker 2: Please help.

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Speaker 4: It's been a while now, and at school she ignores me,

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Speaker 4: but she's in all my classes. I still hear about

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Speaker 4: the relationship at home from my stepbrother how perfect she is.

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Speaker 4: I generally feel surrounded by this situation. I know that

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Speaker 4: it was partially my fault not talking to her, but

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Speaker 4: hers for going for my stepbrother.

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Speaker 1: It's like that girl sounds like not the nicest girl,

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Speaker 1: but it's like, can you really stop someone if they

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Speaker 1: like each other? But then this chick thinks her step

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Speaker 1: brother it's a bad person. So it's like, I guess

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Speaker 1: if she tried to warn her and she still wants

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Speaker 1: to date him.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I think you just have to like relinquish control.

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Speaker 4: You're trying to control the narrative and control the environment

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Speaker 4: around you. Obviously it's not ideal that one of your

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Speaker 4: good friends was dating your stepbrother, but like, the more

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Speaker 4: you try to gain control over the situation, the more

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Speaker 4: it's actually just going to piss you off, which is

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Speaker 4: what's happened, because your friend's kind of like, well, I'm

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Speaker 4: still gonna do what I want to do at the end.

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Speaker 1: Of and you're going to probably end up feeling excluded

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Speaker 1: from social situations if they're there. I think it's a

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Speaker 1: relinquished control kind of thing really, and look and just

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Speaker 1: be like.

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Speaker 4: If he fucks you up over, he bucks you over,

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Speaker 4: and I don't want any Yeah, Like, but I think

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Speaker 4: obviously it sounds like you kind of miss her as

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Speaker 4: a friend, so I think you just have to be like,

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Speaker 4: whatever happens happens, Like it's my stepbrother, but like I

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Speaker 4: miss you as a friend. I really don't want this

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Speaker 4: to get impact to our relationship, Like I would still

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Speaker 4: love to have a relationships.

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Speaker 1: Especially whether this chick's that great a friend though if

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Speaker 1: she's going to she's ignoring her fully now.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, but I think it like just like reallyquished control

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Speaker 4: and then you can relinquish guilt.

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Speaker 1: As well and just see how it plays out once

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Speaker 1: you kind of understand that you're not going to be

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Speaker 1: able to stop them.

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Speaker 4: They Yeah, but maybe she's also resenting you because you're

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Speaker 4: making such a big issue about it. That's just like, well,

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Speaker 4: then I don't want to have any association with you

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Speaker 4: because she's still obviously.

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Speaker 2: Going to be doing what she wants.

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Speaker 4: And like, at the end of the day, you can't

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Speaker 4: really control people. If your stepbrother's also explaining how perfect

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Speaker 4: she is. Some people change for the right person, then

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Speaker 4: they actually might be really good together.

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Speaker 2: Like I want to know how old these people are, and.

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Speaker 4: They sound like they're at school because she said they're not.

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Speaker 1: Then it's like it probably don't last anyway, so it

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Speaker 1: probably it may not, so just really control. They may

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Speaker 1: not be dating in like two months, they may get married,

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Speaker 1: but like then, if they're getting married, you would want

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Speaker 1: to be at the wedding scene in.

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Speaker 2: Or forgive them. Yeah, completely, Yeah, it is as it is,

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Speaker 2: but you can't.

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Speaker 1: I just feel like about like that. It's not like

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Speaker 1: he's your ex boyfriend. I get that he is your

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Speaker 1: step brother, but it's like you can't stop people from

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Speaker 1: liking each other.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just causing you mill pain at the end

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Speaker 4: of the day because they're still hanging out and it's

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Speaker 4: kind of like you're losing a friend in between. If

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Speaker 4: you want to be friends with her, I feel like

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Speaker 4: you just have to accept it totally.

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Speaker 1: I wonder why the step brother's a bad person. I

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Speaker 1: wonder what it is, because always that can change everything.

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Speaker 4: Though he's probably just a fu and has a lots

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Speaker 4: of girls over and she's probably like I don't want

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Speaker 4: you having friends being friends with him or like seeing

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Speaker 4: him because he's just gonna fuck you over.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I hope that's the case, and not that he

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Speaker 1: like changes her like shit, then it would be a

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Speaker 1: different situation.

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Speaker 4: But yeah, like when my brother was like a bit

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Speaker 4: of a fuck boy, and if I like that out

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Speaker 4: they're like one of my friends wanted to go, I'd

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Speaker 4: be like, good luck, Like, don't think that you're anything

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Speaker 4: fucking special an ep bucks, you woke, but don't come

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Speaker 4: crying to me. But I would just be like I

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Speaker 4: can't be bothered, like giving you an ultimatum, because like,

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Speaker 4: if you guys are meant to be married, then you

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Speaker 4: meant to be married.

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Speaker 2: And I'm just like mm hmm.

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Speaker 1: There you know, family's hard, Okay. Dilemma number two. Hi, girls,

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Speaker 1: I'm feeling a bit stuck and confused. Me and my

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Speaker 1: boyfriend went to our friend's house for the AFL Grand

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Speaker 1: Final and well it was a much bigger night than

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Speaker 1: I intended it to be and I was supposed to

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Speaker 1: be at.

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Speaker 2: Work the next day. Rah.

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Speaker 1: I've never been someone that's good at get nothing going

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Speaker 1: to work if I have a big night. Anyways, I

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Speaker 1: hadn't eaten anything all day and got really drunk really quickly.

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Speaker 1: I was not in control of my body, and I

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Speaker 1: woke up and I didn't remember anything. I woke up

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Speaker 1: with a sore knee and major anxiety because I couldn't

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Speaker 1: remember anything. I dislocated my knee three times and apparently

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Speaker 1: kept running and dancing on itsh I think that is

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Speaker 1: excuse enough to get.

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Speaker 2: Out of work. Ye ilicated. My knee can't come in.

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Speaker 2: I can't walk fair anyway.

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Speaker 1: The part I need help with is I woke up

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Speaker 1: and my boyfriend told me his version of the story

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Speaker 1: of what I did that night. And then a few

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Speaker 1: days later I went to go see my best friend

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Speaker 1: and she taught me a completely different story. She told

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Speaker 1: me that he lied to me about what I did

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Speaker 1: and how I acted, as well as how much I

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Speaker 1: had to drink. She also told me everyone got angry

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Speaker 1: with him as he did not look after me and

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Speaker 1: got me more fucked up than I already was. I

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Speaker 1: don't blame him for my drunkenness, but I am a

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Speaker 1: little worried about the lying and failing to look after me,

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Speaker 1: especially because when he gets home really drunk, I and

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Speaker 1: my night to take him home and put him to bed.

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Speaker 1: What would your girls do in my situation, and we

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Speaker 1: have already been having a lot of troubles within our

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Speaker 1: relationship and he's broken my trust before, so I'm just

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Speaker 1: feeling really stuck.

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Speaker 4: The thing would just confuse me is like you kind

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Speaker 4: of woke up, like I don't remember anything, and the

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Speaker 4: scary parties is like, oh, I'm going to use this

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Speaker 4: to kind of change the narrative as to what I did.

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Speaker 1: He probably made her feel really embarrassed and like she

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Speaker 1: was you were embarrassing yourself more than you were. And

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Speaker 1: I feel like in a setting like that, when it's

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Speaker 1: a partner, it's like if anything they did wasn't really

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Speaker 1: that bad, and the only thing that guilts you of

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Speaker 1: being drunk and maybe being a little bit embarrassing, you

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Speaker 1: just comfort the person and go, it's fine, you weren't

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Speaker 1: that bad.

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Speaker 2: Yeah you're a little.

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Speaker 1: Drunk, but everything's fine, Like that's what a part of

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Speaker 1: boyfriend should do, not like which it seems like he

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Speaker 1: probably made her feel quite a bit.

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Speaker 4: Worse a leverage off it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know.

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Speaker 4: I think it's something to be wary of. I don't

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Speaker 4: think it's something to break up with someone of. But

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Speaker 4: if you're telling I think the foundation of a relationship

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Speaker 4: needs trust, and it sounds like you don't trust him. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: so it's like, okay, maybe you need to sit down

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Speaker 4: and have a serious conversation about like what you need

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Speaker 4: to do if you both want to work it out.

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Speaker 4: But like, if you don't trust someone, your relationship is.

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Speaker 2: Going to crumble and it's going to comple fast.

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Speaker 1: I think it's worth going to him and saying, my

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Speaker 1: friend said that this was what happened, Like why, Like why.

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Speaker 2: Did you say it was different? Do you know what

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Speaker 2: I mean?

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Speaker 1: Like, talk to him confront the situation, and you can

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Speaker 1: honestly be like, look, I just don't really know how

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Speaker 1: I feel, like I don't know why you would have

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Speaker 1: lied to me, Like why you would have made me

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Speaker 1: feel worse?

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Speaker 2: See what he says. Yeah, and then but.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not cool if I don't even my friends

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Speaker 1: as well. I expect from them as well to also

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Speaker 1: be people that try and comfort me and make me

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Speaker 1: feel better after a big night.

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Speaker 2: If nothing actually bad has happened.

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Speaker 4: Beyond like exacerbating your anxiety, there.

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Speaker 2: Should be coling you down.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I wouldn't say the drunken thing is that bad,

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Speaker 1: because sometimes I guess you're not really aware of how

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Speaker 1: drunk people are, and like, maybe I can't see him

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Speaker 1: like feeding you drinks, you know. But if that was

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Speaker 1: the case, that's not particularly great either. He should have

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Speaker 1: just taken you home, but he was probably having fun

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Speaker 1: and focusing on himself, which also is something you need

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Speaker 1: to see to him about because you want to be

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Speaker 1: able to feel.

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Speaker 4: I've had that in my past relationship, where like suddenly

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Speaker 4: the care started changing and they stopped like putting you first,

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Speaker 4: and it is a very downhill sparal from that.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna lie, so, you know, just make it clear

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Speaker 1: that your boundaries are that you want to feel safe

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Speaker 1: on nights out, and if you get to a point

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Speaker 1: like that again, you expect him to take you home

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Speaker 1: because you.

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Speaker 2: Would do that for him. It has a bit of

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Speaker 2: a warning. Yeah, yeah, this is your last chance.

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Speaker 4: But dilemma number three. Hey, girls love the potty and

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Speaker 4: tune in every week. I know that you're both in

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Speaker 4: your single girl errors exactly. Yeah, and I was hoping

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Speaker 4: to get some advice as I'm nearly single too. I

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Speaker 4: just got out of a two year relationship with my

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Speaker 4: boyfriend around three weeks ago. I kind of checked out

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Speaker 4: mentally from the relationship before it eventually ended. While me

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Speaker 4: and my now ex were still together, I met this

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Speaker 4: gorgeous six or five man at a twenty first and

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Speaker 4: I thought he was attractive, but it didn't go past that.

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Speaker 1: Well, that's yeah, that's it's okay to acknowledge other people's looks,

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Speaker 1: appreciation and of beauty and excellence. But as long as

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Speaker 1: it didn't go past that, I think you're completely in

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Speaker 1: the clear. But then I also think there's that fine

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Speaker 1: line of we like talking to someone and kind of

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Speaker 1: flirting with them when you're in a relationship because you

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Speaker 1: think they're cute. I'm very sensitive to cheating.

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Speaker 4: She did do that?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 4: Anyway, since being single, I downloaded Hinge and he was

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Speaker 4: on there.

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Speaker 2: We matched.

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Speaker 4: He asked me on a date, which initially made me

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Speaker 4: super excited. Now that we have a time and place,

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Speaker 4: I'm actually just shitting myself and I'm so tempted to cancel.

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Speaker 4: I have no idea how to talk to guys anymore.

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Speaker 4: I'm so comfortable with my ex, and i feel like

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Speaker 4: I've lost the ability to talk to the opposite sex

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Speaker 4: from my ex.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 4: The date is coming Thursday and I really need some help,

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Speaker 4: any tips on this, talk about first dates or just

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Speaker 4: anything at all, because I'm so close to canceling on him.

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Speaker 1: I think okay, in regards to just being out of

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Speaker 1: a relationship and dating, if the reason you're wanting to

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Speaker 1: cancel is because you're nervous, don't. Yes, If the reason

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Speaker 1: you're wanting to cancel is because you don't think you're ready,

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Speaker 1: then maybe do cancel it completely.

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Speaker 4: I'm in agreeance with you on that because you don't

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Speaker 4: want to lead him on, and I don't think it's

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Speaker 4: really fair. Like I can appreciate and I can now

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Speaker 4: sit and reflect and say that I've probably led a

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Speaker 4: few guys on when I'm not all out healed and

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Speaker 4: like my ex is still in the back of my mind,

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Speaker 4: and that's not fair on them. So I wouldn't do

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Speaker 4: that again. But like getting yourself back out on the horse,

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Speaker 4: and just like doing something for fun, like you don't

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Speaker 4: have to take it seriously, you don't have to think

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Speaker 4: he's going to be your next boyfriend. Just like getting

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Speaker 4: yourself out there, putting yourself out there, getting used to

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Speaker 4: dates because I.

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Speaker 2: Feel really important.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like sometimes you can get really comfortable

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Speaker 4: with being so singled, and then like getting back on

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Speaker 4: the horse after that is even harder.

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Speaker 1: I think what you're doing in right now, I'm comfortable single,

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Speaker 1: but I think first dates they seem so scary.

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Speaker 2: I still shit a brick before I go on one.

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Speaker 2: Every time I can match that one.

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Speaker 1: But it's like the only scary part what I say,

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Speaker 1: I was in the car sound was struggling me to

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Speaker 1: a date, and I'm like, I'm so bloody nervous right now,

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Speaker 1: but the scariest part of those first five minutes, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, they will be over in almost like

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Speaker 1: six minutes now, because I'm almost there.

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Speaker 2: In five minutes, I will be relaxed.

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Speaker 1: It's two people that are both nervous, both trying to converse.

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Speaker 1: I think you worry that it's like you're gonna end

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Speaker 1: up sitting there silently, But do you think that guy's

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Speaker 1: gonna want you sitting there silently?

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Speaker 2: No, he will feel the silences as well.

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Speaker 1: I've never actually had a date go badly in that

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Speaker 1: sense of we can't converse, converse because you best believe

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Speaker 1: the two of you will try your best to make

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Speaker 1: sure that that doesn't happen. So then actually they're never

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Speaker 1: ever as bad as you think they're going to be.

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Speaker 1: And if you are ready, I would say ago. If

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Speaker 1: it doesn't go anywhere, great, but I always say that was.

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Speaker 2: Practice when I meet the right person. Yeah, if it doesn't.

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Speaker 4: Fun, like, don't put any pressure on it, Like you're

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Speaker 4: just having a fun. Like you may be having a drink,

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Speaker 4: you might have a nice dinners.

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Speaker 1: On first date, so just meeting someone new, And yeah,

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Speaker 1: if it doesn't eventuate, great, but like that's fine. You've

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Speaker 1: had an experience, you've gone on a day and you'll know,

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Speaker 1: maybe be a little bit less nervous for the next one.

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Speaker 4: But yeah, if I think it's biting the bullet and

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Speaker 4: just doing it and like having fun, Like you get

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Speaker 4: to talk about yourself, you get to learn about someone

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Speaker 4: you like, You get to talk about your like your

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Speaker 4: hobby's interest. You get to fucking start from the ground

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Speaker 4: up when you don't know that like so fun.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's like if you're feeling funny because you

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Speaker 1: don't you are thinking maybe about your ex even though

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Speaker 1: you said you were checked out, but it's still is superior.

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Speaker 1: Where you may not feel ready, like that's not an

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Speaker 1: issue at all to You've literally just come out of

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Speaker 1: a relationship to tell this guy, Hey, I was really excited,

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Speaker 1: but I actually don't think I'm ready, Like, could we

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Speaker 1: maybe do a range check in a couple months or

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Speaker 1: something like, I'm sure if he's still single, he would

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Speaker 1: absolutely see you in a few months or whenever you're

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Speaker 1: feeling a bit more ready. So just I think the

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Speaker 1: antswer lays in why you're feeling nervous.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, if you're feeling nervous because you're like, I haven't

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Speaker 4: spoken to someone and so long, Like the only reason

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Speaker 4: you're gonna get over those nerves is like exposure therapy

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Speaker 4: and actually going but of exposure therapy, by babe, you won't.

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Speaker 4: Fucking guys love it.

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Speaker 1: Like, guys are really not that different. You can talk

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Speaker 1: to them like you'd be talking to a girl you've

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Speaker 1: just met. Yeah, you know, so it's chill. It'll be fine.

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Speaker 1: They always are, Like that is one thing tried and true.

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Speaker 1: Every time I'm nervous on a date, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: it's always end up fine. Yeah, it's chills and they will.

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Speaker 1: You'll be find babe, good luck.

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Speaker 4: Get some fucking good food and good alcohol.

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Speaker 2: And though you're about to say something.

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Speaker 4: On our little dilemma just the Girls Girls Guide Thursdays.

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Speaker 1: That's actually good because you said your date's on Thursdays.

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Speaker 2: This is going to come out on Thursday morning. There

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Speaker 2: you go. Good luck, babe.

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Speaker 1: Please do a check because we've answered your dilemma in

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Speaker 1: it and let us know how it goes all right, Well,

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Speaker 1: love you all and we will speak to you on

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Speaker 1: Jesay