Speaker 1: I'll get a team. It's to you project, it's doctor Jody,
Speaker 1: and it's Fatty Harps. Just rocking on again every month
Speaker 1: for twenty twenty five. It's taken a lot of negotiating
Speaker 1: back and forth with you know, the different parties and
Speaker 1: management and you know, throwing a lot of figures around.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's been it's been arduous, but it's been
Speaker 1: you know, we've come to terms all be they fragile.
Speaker 1: So we'll see how we go. But once a month,
Speaker 1: but twelve months, doctor Jody has agreed to come and
Speaker 1: bless us with her presence.
Speaker 2: High Oho, what a.
Speaker 1: Yeah? How much shit? Can I talk? Straight out of
Speaker 1: the gate?
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm always in awe of the way you open
Speaker 2: your podcast, Craig. I'm taking notes.
Speaker 1: I definitely don't do what I do. You and I
Speaker 1: were just talking about I think it's worth talking about this,
Speaker 1: and we won't mention names. We were mentioning names, but
Speaker 1: of course we won't now. But I was talking. We're
Speaker 1: talking about intelligence and Genie I, you know, and some
Speaker 1: people in our world. And I think you and I
Speaker 1: neither of us think we're particularly brilliant. But I think
Speaker 1: we both think we're not bad at getting stuff done
Speaker 1: and rolling up our sleeves and you know, and not
Speaker 1: that I don't think you're brilliant. I think you're brilliant
Speaker 1: at what you do. And I mean that sincerely. I mean,
Speaker 1: you've got a PhD, you've written best selling books, you've
Speaker 1: got an amazing podcast, you've been navigating life with anxiety
Speaker 1: forever and coming out the other side of that and
Speaker 1: raising kids and being a good human and a good
Speaker 1: wife and all that. So you're not doing that unless
Speaker 1: you've got some talent, skill and intellect. But we were
Speaker 1: talking about how some people in it's almost it depends
Speaker 1: what room you're in, Right, Sometimes I go into a
Speaker 1: room I'm a fucking idiot, like in that room, and
Speaker 1: people think, oh, you're so whatever. No, I'm not kidding.
Speaker 1: I'm literally in some rooms I'm the dumbest depending on
Speaker 1: what we're talking about or doing, and then other rooms
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm okay, I'm not the dumbest in
Speaker 1: the room. Do you feel like that?
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I got like that on Saturday night
Speaker 2: at the trivia night for the Cricket Club.
Speaker 1: Oh really I was.
Speaker 2: I was out of the gates with a winner. The
Speaker 2: very first question was how many bones in the human body?
Speaker 2: And I'm like two hundred and six and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: I have contributed already. This is a miracle. It just
Speaker 2: went downhill from there. I know a lot of stuff,
Speaker 2: and you know, there were some things that I second
Speaker 2: guessed myself on, but anyway, we came last. It was
Speaker 2: a heck of a lot of fun. But yeah, anyway,
Speaker 2: that was me Saturday night, feeling not very bright.
Speaker 1: Well that's why it's called a trivia night and not
Speaker 1: a research night or a science night, because it's just
Speaker 1: it's mindless shit that people don't need to know. But
Speaker 1: it's fun. Anyway. Yeah, it was so funny yesterday. We're
Speaker 1: in the gym and the crab my training partner, who
Speaker 1: I think year nine was the best four years of
Speaker 1: his life. No, I'm just kidding, but I think he
Speaker 1: finished school at year nine or ten, maybe eleven, who knows,
Speaker 1: but not an academic but nonetheless brilliant. Right, And I
Speaker 1: was standing with a few people and I've been running
Speaker 1: this seven day kickstart thing which you might have seen,
Speaker 1: for everybody to jump on board, and there's a whole
Speaker 1: lot of there's a to do list every day in
Speaker 1: five different areas, fifteen different options, three different options under
Speaker 1: each of the areas. Have you seen any of that?
Speaker 2: I'm not following it, Craig, sorry to say.
Speaker 1: Okay, no, but I mean have you seen what I'm doing? Though?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: No, no, right, right, So I'll explain to you. So
Speaker 1: I was figuring. I was thinking, why don't I do
Speaker 1: a podcast where I say, look, let's rather than everyone
Speaker 1: just listen to me, why don't I do one episode
Speaker 1: where I introduced this idea and we're going to do
Speaker 1: a seven day rolling up your sleeves doing project right yep?
Speaker 1: And so I said, if you want to be involved,
Speaker 1: there's no cost, no hooks, catches, agendas. Every day for
Speaker 1: seven days on the U project Facebook page, I'm going
Speaker 1: to do a video. I'm going to talk to you
Speaker 1: about shit, a little bit of information, inspiration, education, and
Speaker 1: every day, I'm going to write a program with fifteen
Speaker 1: different options. So doesn't some of them are cognitive, some
Speaker 1: of them personal development, some of them are resilient, some
Speaker 1: of them a cardios, some of them are strength. Right,
Speaker 1: So there's three different options. So even if you spend
Speaker 1: life in a wheelchair, you can get involved. There's stuff
Speaker 1: you can do, you can fully participate, right, or if
Speaker 1: you're super duper fit but you want to do more
Speaker 1: cognitive training, you can get involved as well. So anyway,
Speaker 1: one of the one of the cognitive puzzles or problems
Speaker 1: to solve yesterday was two fathers and two sons go fishing. Right,
Speaker 1: two fathers and two sons go fishing. They caught three fish.
Speaker 1: We'll look at Jody's right, Two fathers and two sons
Speaker 1: go fishing, They catch three fish, and at the end
Speaker 1: of the day, everyone takes home a fish. How is
Speaker 1: that possible? And then the crab said it within two seconds,
Speaker 1: and then the rest two are standing around considerably more
Speaker 1: academic or scratching their head, gone, that's not possible. How
Speaker 1: does that? I don't know. And it's so funny. It's
Speaker 1: like that kind of he has that instant problem solving
Speaker 1: ability where he hasn't. I mean, he's obviously learned things.
Speaker 1: But a lot of people know how to do stuff
Speaker 1: because someone told them how to do the stuff. Yes,
Speaker 1: and then there are other people who have never been
Speaker 1: taught that thing, but they just they have a problem
Speaker 1: solving or a solution focused mind. Now, have you got
Speaker 1: any idea of the answer. So two fathers and two
Speaker 1: sons go fishing. Between them, they catch three fish, and
Speaker 1: at the end of the day everyone takes home a
Speaker 1: fish each.
Speaker 2: Now because one's a grandfather, one's a son, and one
Speaker 2: a grandson.
Speaker 1: There you go, see boom boom, three people. Exactly right,
Speaker 1: So well done, you, well done you. But it is funny,
Speaker 1: you know, talking about as before we started rolling, we're
Speaker 1: talking about intelligence. And I've always thought I've always felt right,
Speaker 1: you know, somewhat stupid. I'd probably feel less stupid these days,
Speaker 1: but growing up, I really, I really thought that, and
Speaker 1: it's it's yeah, I think it's context dependent or task dependence.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I agree with you. And I also think it's
Speaker 2: how how you were raised to think about yourself. It's
Speaker 2: like the sport example, where by a certain age, young boys,
Speaker 2: particularly young boys, feel like I've got it or I haven't.
Speaker 2: I'm sporty or I'm not, and then they will make
Speaker 2: decisions based on kind of those beliefs. And like raising
Speaker 2: two kids who are now sixteen and fourteen, I think
Speaker 2: you know, because you know the growth mindset where by
Speaker 2: doctor Carroll Dweck, you know that we yes, we a
Speaker 2: long time ago we all learned that. Well, it's not
Speaker 2: like you've got it or you haven't. You're smarter, you're not.
Speaker 2: It's like we all have the capacity to learn. We
Speaker 2: all have the capacity to develop more skills, learn more
Speaker 2: and to grow And doesn't mean you're smarter. Well, it
Speaker 2: doesn't really matter. It's not one or the other. So
Speaker 2: I've kind of tried to raise the kids feeling like
Speaker 2: they've always got the potential to do whatever it is
Speaker 2: that they're hoping to do. But I grew up with
Speaker 2: my brother. I don't know what his IQ is, but
Speaker 2: my older brother, who I adore, he's like a genius,
Speaker 2: Like he just things seemed to come more easily to him.
Speaker 2: I felt like I did really well, but I had
Speaker 2: to work really hard for it. And he since told
Speaker 2: me why things seemed easier for him, And I'm like,
Speaker 2: that just doubles down on the point that you're a genius.
Speaker 1: Right right right? Yeah? And so what's his like weal
Speaker 1: house of genius? Like is it engineering? Is it maths?
Speaker 1: Is it science? Is it? Or is it just he
Speaker 1: can just figure shit out all the time easily?
Speaker 2: It is really all of the above, because he did
Speaker 2: it his PhD in physics and then has since done
Speaker 2: two masters to kind of progress himself professionally. And so
Speaker 2: what I love about it is not only does he
Speaker 2: have like the deep kind of understanding, he's got a
Speaker 2: really great way of explaining things. And so when he
Speaker 2: comes and lives with us for a few weeks every
Speaker 2: summer because he lives overseas, it's so interesting to talk
Speaker 2: to him because he knows a lot about a lot
Speaker 2: of stuff. He reads widely and he's really good at
Speaker 2: translating it.
Speaker 1: One of the things I think about is that you know,
Speaker 1: whatever it is that you have, like whatever you're let's
Speaker 1: call it your default setting, right, what you're born with.
Speaker 1: Like my brain is my brain. I can't get a
Speaker 1: better one or a newer one. I can train it,
Speaker 1: and I can do cognitive kind of tasks, and I
Speaker 1: can you know, I can modify it to a point,
Speaker 1: just like I can modify my body. But my genetics
Speaker 1: and my genetics and the way that I manage those
Speaker 1: genetics and what I do to them and how they
Speaker 1: express as a result of lifestyle and sleep and food
Speaker 1: and exercise, and like that's in my control. But I
Speaker 1: also think it's kind of a waste of time and energy.
Speaker 1: Albeit we've all done it and I've done it, but
Speaker 1: you know, waxing lyrical about what you're not and what
Speaker 1: you don't have, and if only I was and if
Speaker 1: only I was born there, I was two inches taller,
Speaker 1: I had this, Well, you fucking don't, right, So you
Speaker 1: know you got what you got. That's the body, that's
Speaker 1: the brain, that's the genetics, this is where you were born.
Speaker 1: That's your situation. And so like my question to myself
Speaker 1: all the time is all right, well that's sixty one.
Speaker 1: With the genetics, you've got, the endomorphic body type, you've
Speaker 1: got in the brain you've got, and the resources you've got,
Speaker 1: and the things that you want to do, and the
Speaker 1: current shape you're in, what can you do? Like, what's
Speaker 1: the best use of me today in terms of what
Speaker 1: I want to do be, create and change today on
Speaker 1: as we're recording this February twenty what's the best use
Speaker 1: of me and my energy and my ability today? And
Speaker 1: then let's fucking lean into that. Because I can silk
Speaker 1: and winge about what I'm not and what I don't have.
Speaker 1: I'm going to wake up tomorrow and I'm still not
Speaker 1: going to have it and not going to be it, so,
Speaker 1: which is pointless self serving, self kind of what's the
Speaker 1: word self pitying? Bullshit? So why don't I just go
Speaker 1: all right? Well, clearly I'm not a genetic freak or
Speaker 1: an athletic freak or an intellectual freak. But nonetheless I've
Speaker 1: got potential. What am I doing with it?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, that's We were chatting the other day about
Speaker 2: how hard it is to the exercise at a high intensity,
Speaker 2: and we were talking about that new Netflix show called Run.
Speaker 2: I don't know if you've come up.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, that ned whatever Rockman.
Speaker 2: Got went, yeah yeah, and just how much pain he
Speaker 2: went through. And somebody quoted a MARATHONO who more or
Speaker 2: less said that the person who wins is the person
Speaker 2: who's willing to put themselves through the most suffering or
Speaker 2: suffer the most, and like, we don't have to go
Speaker 2: to those extremes. But we are all I truly believe this.
Speaker 2: We are all capable of so much more than we
Speaker 2: believe that we are. And you know, so often we're
Speaker 2: kind of trying to. I don't cut corners or make
Speaker 2: comparisons or look for the big wins. Whereas you know,
Speaker 2: if each day you ask yourself that question, you know,
Speaker 2: how can I make the most use of everything that
Speaker 2: I've got within my control today? Sometimes I just I
Speaker 2: just sort of say to myself, look if I if
Speaker 2: I just do one percent better every few days, like
Speaker 2: just just you know, the big things. Yes, there's a
Speaker 2: whole lot of big leaders we can pull, and you
Speaker 2: mentioned so many of them, but sometimes it's just you know,
Speaker 2: just setting your limits on your social media and just
Speaker 2: spending fifteen minutes on your Instagram, if you know, and
Speaker 2: moving on and then doing that. I don't know, like
Speaker 2: there's so many examples of what we can what we
Speaker 2: can do, and everybody that's listening it's it's going to
Speaker 2: be so different. But I just think that there are
Speaker 2: opportunities every day for us to do the things that
Speaker 2: will help move us forward in the ways that we
Speaker 2: want that will ultimately bring us more joy and contentment
Speaker 2: and connection and all of those things. But it's very
Speaker 2: easy just to get on autopilot. It's very easy just
Speaker 2: to go through the motions.
Speaker 1: One hundred percent. Well, you'd be familiar with the term
Speaker 1: in exercise physiology because you're an excise physiologist called rate
Speaker 1: of perceived exertion, right or perceived rate of exertion, it
Speaker 1: gets into changed. So why don't you tell our audience
Speaker 1: what that is, because I want to unpack that a
Speaker 1: little bit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so if you're doing an exercise, can I I'll
Speaker 2: share a personal example with you. I took my dad
Speaker 2: to the exercise physiologist yesterday, Craig, And this is because
Speaker 2: you know, he needs some professional help, and of course
Speaker 2: he has a daughter who can help him, but that's
Speaker 2: not working. And so he was asked yesterday to do
Speaker 2: ten sit to stands off the chair and then out
Speaker 2: of ten kind of ten, being like, that's super hard,
Speaker 2: it's really difficult. That's a huge effort. One being cruisy
Speaker 2: so easy, could do them all day. Give us a
Speaker 2: number out of ten to kind of help us understand
Speaker 2: how hard was that for you? And so that RP
Speaker 2: or rate of perceived exertion is how do you feel
Speaker 2: doing this at this moment? Out of ten? And so yeah,
Speaker 2: obviously you know that was manageable for Dad, but I
Speaker 2: don't know that he could have done much more. He
Speaker 2: was really puffing. His back felt sore. He's got a
Speaker 2: chronic back injury. But you know, in a month's time,
Speaker 2: as he trains builds strength, builds stamina, builds capacity. Doing that,
Speaker 2: the RPE for him, he's rating should be lower because
Speaker 2: he's he's trained for it. And so how's how's that
Speaker 2: for a brief?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's good, it's good exactly. Yeah, it's just us estimating,
Speaker 1: like if our potential not not anyone else's, but our
Speaker 1: potential is ten. Ten is the hardest I could work, like,
Speaker 1: literally the hardest, not pretend, but literally, if ten's the hardest,
Speaker 1: what am I working at? And one of my experiences
Speaker 1: with people, I love this over the years because I
Speaker 1: trained a bazillion people in gyms, is I'd say to people, Okay,
Speaker 1: once ten, how hard are you work? And ten is
Speaker 1: humanly the hardest you could, Like, if there was a
Speaker 1: million dollars in the line, you couldn't go harder than ten?
Speaker 1: What are you working at? And they'd go, oh, eight,
Speaker 1: And I'm like, no, you're not, No, you're fucking not. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I'd say all right, And so many times like this.
Speaker 1: I don't think I ever did this once and it failed,
Speaker 1: and obviously the results vary, but I've had people who
Speaker 1: have done, say, ten reps on a certain weight, and
Speaker 1: they tell me they're working at eight or nine out
Speaker 1: of ten. And I'm not doing this because I'm trying
Speaker 1: to make some physiological gain. I'm trying to get them
Speaker 1: to understand their potential and what they think. So there's
Speaker 1: what is hard actually hard, and then there's your story
Speaker 1: about hard, right, they are very different things. And so
Speaker 1: many times I've said someone who got ten reps, I said,
Speaker 1: all right, we're going to have a minute or two,
Speaker 1: and then I said, I know this seems dumb. I
Speaker 1: want you to do a set and we're not going
Speaker 1: to put you at risk, but I just want you
Speaker 1: to do the same weight. I don't want you to
Speaker 1: even think about the reps. I don't want you to
Speaker 1: even count. I'm going to count, and I just want
Speaker 1: you to keep going until I tell you to stop,
Speaker 1: or until you And so so many times the person
Speaker 1: who was working at eight or nine out of ten
Speaker 1: when they did ten reps, do thirty. I want you
Speaker 1: to do it like your fucking life depends on it. Now,
Speaker 1: obviously we're not going to train like that every day
Speaker 1: because that's not wise. But then this person goes, oh, oh,
Speaker 1: I go so this is what I'm trying to get
Speaker 1: you to. It's not about the reps. It's not about
Speaker 1: this way. It's not even about the fucking Jim. It's
Speaker 1: about you understanding the space between your actual potential and
Speaker 1: your story, because your fucking story about what you can
Speaker 1: do is in no way aligned with what you can
Speaker 1: actually do. And this is the awareness that even with
Speaker 1: this show I want people to understand. It's like, people
Speaker 1: look at you and go, all right, you've got your
Speaker 1: own podcasts, you've written books, you've got a pH data da.
Speaker 1: You're special. Now. I mean this with all the love.
Speaker 1: You're not special. You're just someone who's worked hard. I'm
Speaker 1: not special all and not that I'm the high watermark
Speaker 1: for anything, but you know, I'm the bloke that people
Speaker 1: tune into and listen to, and I'm like, thank you,
Speaker 1: I'm so grateful for that. But at the same time,
Speaker 1: I'm genuinely no smarter or better than virtually everyone that listens, right,
Speaker 1: And so I feel my responsibility as a coach and
Speaker 1: mentor and teacher and podcaster all shut up because I
Speaker 1: realize I'm talking too much, Jody, But is not to
Speaker 1: elevate me, but to elevate the audience. Yeah, and to go, hey,
Speaker 1: just just don't get in your own way. That's the
Speaker 1: main thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it's there so much that when I talk
Speaker 2: to people and we have those kinds of conversations where
Speaker 2: you kind of people open up about what they'd really
Speaker 2: love to be doing or trying or attempting or just
Speaker 2: even you know, having a stab at there's so much
Speaker 2: fear that stands in the way. And that story is
Speaker 2: it's so powerful, and that's what our minds will do
Speaker 2: because our brains don't care how happy and fulfilled we
Speaker 2: are and how much potential we reach. Our brains just
Speaker 2: want to keep us safe, and so anything that stretches
Speaker 2: us our brain it's so natural. And so this awareness
Speaker 2: of kind of like what's happening, like noticing what's happening,
Speaker 2: what's the story around this, what's my mind telling me here?
Speaker 2: It takes that little bit of mindful awareness and stepping
Speaker 2: back to kind of listen and go right, what's happening
Speaker 2: right now? You know, because I know when you know
Speaker 2: I wanted to start, there was so much I wanted
Speaker 2: to do and I'm doing it now. And anxiety obviously,
Speaker 2: you know I live with anxiety and it's up and down,
Speaker 2: But it was actually Adam, I remember I can I
Speaker 2: tell you a quick story, hearts.
Speaker 1: Tell us a slow story, just whatever where you want.
Speaker 2: When I was doing my PhD, I realized I loved writing.
Speaker 2: I realized and at the time my PhD was in
Speaker 2: exercise science, was in actually the physiology, and I realized,
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, I actually like this idea of communicating.
Speaker 2: I actually think on the back of this PhD, I
Speaker 2: might want to start doing some more writing and become
Speaker 2: a science communicator. That was sort of originally, I mean,
Speaker 2: that was one of the stepping stones. And my professor
Speaker 2: at Monash, professor Yui Prosky, he'd been interviewed a lot
Speaker 2: over the years, and he said, look, I've got the
Speaker 2: number and name of a science writer. Handed it to me.
Speaker 2: He said, I'm going to write to him and tell
Speaker 2: him I've passed it on to you. Give him a call. Well,
Speaker 2: I had that number for months and I remember I
Speaker 2: distinctly remember being on the phone with Adam, my brother,
Speaker 2: and just saying, you know, sharing this sort of dream,
Speaker 2: this hope, and him saying, what's stopping you from picking
Speaker 2: up the phone, And I'm like, I'm scared. He's like,
Speaker 2: what are you scared? I'm like, I don't even know
Speaker 2: what I'm scared of, Like I can't even articulate it.
Speaker 2: And you know, I know that it probably sounds cliche,
Speaker 2: but at the time when he said it to me,
Speaker 2: it landed and I don't know that I ever heard
Speaker 2: anyone say it before. He's like, Okay, this is going
Speaker 2: to take a bit of courage, and he said courriage
Speaker 2: is not waiting until you're not scared. It's like literally going,
Speaker 2: I'm really scared and I'm actually going to do it anyway.
Speaker 2: Now listeners are not probably going to be thinking we'll
Speaker 2: have heard all that before, of course, but you know,
Speaker 2: sometimes you get the right message at the right time.
Speaker 2: And I picked up the phone and I met this guy.
Speaker 2: His name's Julian Crib. I met him actually drove on
Speaker 2: the way back from a Sydney holiday to meet him
Speaker 2: in Canberra with my family. My family went off for
Speaker 2: a lunch and I actually I don't even think I
Speaker 2: had kids. Then I didn't. Peter went off for a
Speaker 2: lunch and I started doing writing, and then I started
Speaker 2: writing restrained magazines around mental health. And just that one
Speaker 2: step that felt so hard had this ripple effect and
Speaker 2: this kind of knock on effect was kind of like
Speaker 2: hard to get the momentum, get that big rock up
Speaker 2: and over the hill. But once I did it, just
Speaker 2: one thing led to another and it's always stayed with me.
Speaker 2: I could still be waiting, Craig. I could have still
Speaker 2: been waiting and just doing what I'd always done and
Speaker 2: not feeling too good about it. And I'm always grateful
Speaker 2: to Adam for that moment, that conversation. But I know
Speaker 2: there are people listening who are thinking, yes, I've got
Speaker 2: that one thing I need to do, and I and
Speaker 2: maybe this is an impetus to kind of go right,
Speaker 2: what's the story? What am I actually scared of? What's
Speaker 2: the worst that could happen? The worst it can happen,
Speaker 2: like is really not the end of the world under
Speaker 2: most circumstances.
Speaker 1: And for me, it's not even about well, well done,
Speaker 1: by the way, for doing that, for doing the thing
Speaker 1: that scares you. And you're exactly right, courage is courageous,
Speaker 1: just I mean, you can't be courageous unless you're scared,
Speaker 1: so together, well, if you're not scared of doing something,
Speaker 1: you don't need to be courageous to do it. But me,
Speaker 1: it is it is about you're doing the thing, and
Speaker 1: so you ended up writing for Mags and all of
Speaker 1: that stuff, which is brilliant. But it's also about who
Speaker 1: you become when you do the thing, like because when
Speaker 1: you do the scary thing, whatever the scary thing is
Speaker 1: for you, and obviously it's just relative and relevant for
Speaker 1: the individual because what scares me might not scare you,
Speaker 1: so it's not scary per se. It's just scary for
Speaker 1: the individual. But yeah, it's like that whole And I
Speaker 1: know I say this too much, but it's not about
Speaker 1: it's not about being at the top of the mountain.
Speaker 1: It's about the climb. It's about and it's not even
Speaker 1: about oh, look at what you know. That's cool, but
Speaker 1: it's about who you become on the climb. Who do
Speaker 1: I become when I'm doing the hard things, because what
Speaker 1: I'm doing is I'm building strength and resilience and adapt
Speaker 1: ability and cognitive flexibility and capacity to be the calm
Speaker 1: in the chaos, because life is chaos at times. The
Speaker 1: world is chaos. And if you are if you're fucking
Speaker 1: sat navs set on comfort and convenience and certainty and
Speaker 1: predictability and that's your operating system, you're fucked. When the
Speaker 1: shit hits the fan because you have no capacity to
Speaker 1: deal with the mess. So doing the skin and like
Speaker 1: the scary stuff. Could be I'm going to start a company,
Speaker 1: or it could be I'm going to talk to this
Speaker 1: person and say hello. Like it doesn't it's relative to
Speaker 1: the ind of you know, it could be. I know
Speaker 1: one of the ladies that follows me shem me a
Speaker 1: DM and she went basically, you know, I'm out of shape.
Speaker 1: I want to Is that what you call a DM
Speaker 1: or a peer?
Speaker 2: You got it?
Speaker 1: A M anyway, and she's anyway. We went back and
Speaker 1: forth and she's like she wants to get in shape,
Speaker 1: and you know, I'm like, look, I know you don't
Speaker 1: want to do this, but this is my advice based
Speaker 1: on what you've told me. It's never been easier or
Speaker 1: cheaper to join a gym because there are seventy two
Speaker 1: million fucking gyms in Australia. Right, We've got more gyms
Speaker 1: than we've got bloody hot dinners. Right. Second, if you
Speaker 1: shop around and haggle a bit, you're going to get
Speaker 1: a gym membership for about fifteen bucks a week, which
Speaker 1: is give or take two dollars a day. Now for
Speaker 1: two dollars a day, you're going to have about a
Speaker 1: million dollars worth of equipment at your disposal. Now, next thing,
Speaker 1: you're scared to go the gym. Good, That doesn't mean
Speaker 1: you shouldn't go. Next thing, you think everyone's looking at you.
Speaker 1: No one gives a fuck about you. Right, They're not
Speaker 1: looking at you in the gym, And if they are,
Speaker 1: big deal. But they aren't. I've spent my life in
Speaker 1: gym's right. When I go to another gym and no
Speaker 1: one knows who I am because I'm in state and
Speaker 1: I'm doing something, nobody gives a fuck about the sixty
Speaker 1: year old with a stubble at all. They're so preoccupied
Speaker 1: with themselves. Right, Yeah, anyway, So she did it. She
Speaker 1: joined the gym, she saw, she had a consult. She's
Speaker 1: now three or four weeks in, and she sent me
Speaker 1: a message yesterday other day before said you and I
Speaker 1: don't always get it, right, of course, but she goes,
Speaker 1: you were one thousand percent right. I wish I'd have
Speaker 1: done this fifteen years ago. I fucking not, I fucking
Speaker 1: but I love it. I'm like, good, Now, you wouldn't
Speaker 1: have this experience unless you did the thing that scared you.
Speaker 1: So now she's training, she's met another lady that trains
Speaker 1: at the gym. They're going to kind of do a
Speaker 1: bit of stuff together. They like each other. She did
Speaker 1: a class the other night, which you know, she was
Speaker 1: the worst, but she right all of a sudden that
Speaker 1: her world has opened up because she did something. You know,
Speaker 1: these people who go, I'm not a gym person, am
Speaker 1: I aren't you? You know, it's beautiful.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh my gosh, that's amazing. And if you're listening now,
Speaker 2: cute as to you and what an inspiration you are
Speaker 2: for other people who are having exactly the same thoughts,
Speaker 2: ideas and fears right now. Like it's just awesome. It is.
Speaker 2: It's you know, people say, oh, but I'm not an exerciser,
Speaker 2: or I don't love exercise, I don't enjoy it. It's like, well,
Speaker 2: it's hard. It's meant to be hard. That's why it's
Speaker 2: good for us. And it doesn't have to be too hard.
Speaker 2: Get the Goldilock zone. The fitty you get, the more
Speaker 2: you can do, and what was hard once doesn't feel
Speaker 2: hard anymore. And it's it's I was reading something about,
Speaker 2: you know, the effort it takes to do things like oh,
Speaker 2: I mean, I literally was saying to my daughter because
Speaker 2: I'm trying to get the kids to cook a meal
Speaker 2: one night a week each harps because oh, I'm so overcooking.
Speaker 2: And our son will spend hours soaking chicken in buttermilk
Speaker 2: and then he'll create this amazing crust and da da da,
Speaker 2: And our daughter is like, I want to cook the
Speaker 2: pasta and find the rose and spaghetti sauce, you know,
Speaker 2: path of least resistance. And I'm like, things that are
Speaker 2: worthwhile require effort, require effort and can take time. And
Speaker 2: I was, yeah that we reminded me of something the
Speaker 2: other day that I read where it was like, you
Speaker 2: might not love the process, but perhaps it might help
Speaker 2: to focus on what you like about having done the process.
Speaker 2: It's like, I like to feel fit and have kind
Speaker 2: of like a clearer mind and a better mood. So
Speaker 2: the process that's involved in that is getting up and
Speaker 2: going to the gym each day or every second day,
Speaker 2: or going for my walk or whatever it is for you.
Speaker 2: But it's not all easy. We don't always have to
Speaker 2: like it. We actually don't have to love every minute
Speaker 2: of every day. But it comes back to what you
Speaker 2: said earlier. What can I do today that is the
Speaker 2: best thing for my body, my brain, my business, if
Speaker 2: you've got one, or my potential.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I was still going to do the other day
Speaker 1: at a not the other day a couple of weeks ago,
Speaker 1: at a gig. Right, I was talking. Finished the gig
Speaker 1: comes up, and he goes, have you got any other
Speaker 1: ideas for me? Like he's getting older and he's probably
Speaker 1: lost a bit of muscle. He goes, I really don't
Speaker 1: enjoy weight training. And I go so he's like, what
Speaker 1: do you mean? I go, so what you don't have
Speaker 1: to enjoy it. It's like, I'm not doing that unless
Speaker 1: I enjoy it? Why? Why? Well, how about this? Just
Speaker 1: do it because it's good, Like, just do it. Because
Speaker 1: you're fifty five, Your muscle's falling off you, your bone
Speaker 1: density is going through the floor, your function as downgrading,
Speaker 1: your brain's probably downgrading because you're not consciously doing anything
Speaker 1: to improve cognitive function. How about you do it not
Speaker 1: because you fucking enjoy it or enjoy it or don't,
Speaker 1: but because it's a thing that your body needs. And
Speaker 1: he's like, oh, well, yeah, I guess yeah. Like this
Speaker 1: whole idea that we're not doing, I'm not doing that
Speaker 1: unless it's fun. Oh fucking good luck, good luck as
Speaker 1: you get you know, it's like that's ridiculous, Like there
Speaker 1: are so many things that you won't enjoy. I mean,
Speaker 1: of course we want to do things. We enjoy things
Speaker 1: that are fun. Me too, me too, But some of
Speaker 1: the shit I need to do, you know, and you
Speaker 1: need to do. And like you, people want to be
Speaker 1: exceptional or they want to produce exceptional outcomes, but they
Speaker 1: don't want to do exceptional things. You know, what's an
Speaker 1: exceptional thing? We'll get up when most people would stay
Speaker 1: in bed. That's exceptional, you know, do the thing like
Speaker 1: when you're tired, you know, and you don't feel like it,
Speaker 1: maybe do it or a bit of it. Anyway, I'm
Speaker 1: not talking about never listening to your body. I'm just like,
Speaker 1: sometimes we've just got to push through that mental and
Speaker 1: or emotional or physiological resistance. You know, that whole predisposition
Speaker 1: that we have, or we seem to have as a
Speaker 1: society where everything's got to be comfortable and convenient and
Speaker 1: we've got to enjoy everything. It's just a very impractical,
Speaker 1: unrealistic strategy for life.
Speaker 2: It is. And what we don't stop to think about,
Speaker 2: because it's painful to think about. Is if you do
Speaker 2: not make the choice now, you're not going to be
Speaker 2: having a lot of fun when you get to the
Speaker 2: other end. And you know, like Dad, for example, Like
Speaker 2: I adore my dad, but he's got a chronic back injury.
Speaker 2: He was in a car accident. But you know what,
Speaker 2: like he's been so sedentry, he's been so sedentry that
Speaker 2: walking now twenty meters is really difficult. He can't do much.
Speaker 2: He can't fish, he can't I mean, he's obviously in
Speaker 2: a lot of pain, and that's like a you know,
Speaker 2: another layer of it. But I just think that we
Speaker 2: want to we all imagine, I mean I expect most
Speaker 2: of us imagine to live pretty long, healthy lives. We
Speaker 2: want to still be able to do the things that
Speaker 2: we love, you know, especially if we're not working anymore,
Speaker 2: or we're working less. We've got more time on our hands,
Speaker 2: maybe more money, less responsibility, if we've got families and things.
Speaker 2: But I tell you what, like if you can make
Speaker 2: a choice now to do something that challenges you within
Speaker 2: what works for you, like as you said, like we're
Speaker 2: not we're not lifting weights, as if our life depends
Speaker 2: on it every single day. You'll get sick, you'll get injured,
Speaker 2: you'll be too sore, you won't ever want to go back.
Speaker 2: But find your place to start, or you will be
Speaker 2: in a world of pain or a lot of regret
Speaker 2: down the track if you don't have the muscle mass,
Speaker 2: or you trip and you break a bone. And you know,
Speaker 2: we know that the morbidity associated with a broken hip.
Speaker 2: I think it's like a twelve month Within twelve months
Speaker 2: of breaking hip, a lot of people die. It's frightening
Speaker 2: and I just think I'm not going to be there.
Speaker 2: I'm going to keep rocking up to CrossFit. I mean,
Speaker 2: I had felt a little pop dead lifting. What day
Speaker 2: is it? It's Thursday, Monday, and I'm like, oh crap, wow,
Speaker 2: And you know I've had to adjust what anyway, it's
Speaker 2: just irritated disc I'll be fine, But like I keep
Speaker 2: just rocking up. I keep just showing up. And that's
Speaker 2: what a lot of the women when we chat chat
Speaker 2: chat during the day, we're like, we didn't feel like it.
Speaker 2: We were too tired, you know, perimenopause, menopause, late nights, whatever.
Speaker 2: Just keep showing up, do what you can. Keep the
Speaker 2: consistency and then you reap the benefits of it. But man,
Speaker 2: oh man, it frightens me to think of the people
Speaker 2: that are very comfortable now you know what life, you know,
Speaker 2: the kind of the two parts life would go down,
Speaker 2: you know, over the over the years and decades to come.
Speaker 2: It's we've got control, now we've got to use it.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And one of the things I think about mums,
Speaker 1: and I've thought this about and dad's too, but probably
Speaker 1: more mums, is like, think of all the hard things
Speaker 1: that mums do that really it's not fun, right, there's
Speaker 1: so much shit you mums do. And yeah, fathers, but
Speaker 1: we know that. I don't know if this is politically
Speaker 1: correct or not, but like mums do a lot of
Speaker 1: the heavy lifting. It is.
Speaker 2: It's actually statistically accurate that statement.
Speaker 1: Okay, so it seems like mums and I used to
Speaker 1: think not just about mums, but dad's too. It's like,
Speaker 1: like think about changing nappies, Like there's not much of
Speaker 1: a less glamorous job that literally, I mean, what we're
Speaker 1: doing is wiping shit, right, and cleaning up a human
Speaker 1: after they've shat. I know it's discovered, but you think no,
Speaker 1: But here's my point, right, who wants to do that nobody,
Speaker 1: Like it's not like, oh wow, I hope I could,
Speaker 1: but who but there's no mum that's going No, I'm
Speaker 1: not doing that anymore. Fuck it. Like there are certain
Speaker 1: things that are not pleasant, that are not fun that
Speaker 1: we just do because in our brain or in our mindset,
Speaker 1: there is no get out of jail card with that, Like,
Speaker 1: this is just what I do. I feed my kids,
Speaker 1: I clean my kids, I protect them, I look after them,
Speaker 1: I do everything that and whether or not it's easy
Speaker 1: or hard is irrelevant because it's not optional. It's not optional.
Speaker 1: Now imagine if we could take that mindset. It's not
Speaker 1: optional to do things that for us were empowering and
Speaker 1: transformative and would make us fucking awesome. But when it
Speaker 1: comes to ourselves, we have this capacity and I'm generalizing everybody,
Speaker 1: so this may not be you, but we have this
Speaker 1: you know, tendency or propensity to go. I'll start Monday,
Speaker 1: which becomes fucking a three year internal dialogue. Then Monday
Speaker 1: never comes. Yeah, because it's what we're really saying is
Speaker 1: I'm not doing it now, and its perpetual soon Like
Speaker 1: when mate, when soon? When sorry? Soon? It doesn't matter
Speaker 1: When I see some of my mates. It's never now,
Speaker 1: it's always soon, and then I've had more, you know.
Speaker 1: I had a friend of mine died last year. I
Speaker 1: don't want to mention his name, but he died four
Speaker 1: days after I saw him. He was very smart. We
Speaker 1: had dinner. We used to have dinner once a month,
Speaker 1: and I, yeah, I always worried about him because he
Speaker 1: was one of those geniuses or genie that you and
Speaker 1: I spoke about at the top of the show. And
Speaker 1: he just never really looked after himself. And every time
Speaker 1: I'd seen him, he looked unhealthier and unhealthier. I'm like, mate,
Speaker 1: I love you, Please please do something. And yeah, we
Speaker 1: had dinner. We used to catch up once a month
Speaker 1: and I, yeah, I got a message three days later
Speaker 1: or four days later, and yeah, And it's just like
Speaker 1: And I've had many friends over the years who have
Speaker 1: you know, some of them that's been unavoidable, of course,
Speaker 1: But obviously when you're sixty one, there's been a lot
Speaker 1: of people in your life who have died along the way. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I would more than half of them. It's been somewhat
Speaker 1: self induced, you know, And because of just twenty thirty
Speaker 1: forty years of fucking terrible choices and behaviors and lifestyle
Speaker 1: and and I just I don't want to say I
Speaker 1: don't want to see that happen to anyone, like, let alone,
Speaker 1: you know, the people I love, but just anyone like
Speaker 1: because it's you know, and of course there's no guarantee
Speaker 1: of anything, but you know, there's so much that we
Speaker 1: can do to manage ourselves optimally if we can get
Speaker 1: over our resistance to resistance.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sorry to hear about your mate, Craig. And
Speaker 2: it's so it's so painful when it's avoidable, potentially avoidable,
Speaker 2: it's it's painful anyway, you know that the old kind
Speaker 2: of if not now when is a really good question
Speaker 2: to ask, like, and you know, it's so easy to
Speaker 2: go through the day kind of on autopilot, just kind
Speaker 2: of doing the same things, going through the motions, and
Speaker 2: all of a sudden, you know, you know, we're saying, oh,
Speaker 2: it's a twenty to February, Oh where's the time gone?
Speaker 2: The time flies when we are not able to bring
Speaker 2: our attention to the present moment regularly. And something that's
Speaker 2: hard to do and it is uncomfortable to do, is
Speaker 2: to stop and reflect because we can busy ourselves all
Speaker 2: day every day, we can do things for others. We
Speaker 2: can you know, keep ourselves occupied and not have to
Speaker 2: think about hard things. But in it, you know, five ten,
Speaker 2: fifteen minutes set aside just to kind of reflect on, well,
Speaker 2: what do I want and what decisions am I making
Speaker 2: that I don't feel good about that I'd like to
Speaker 2: make change with. You know, I know a lot of
Speaker 2: people are giving up the booze, a lot of people
Speaker 2: are making changes, you know, around their drinking habits, and
Speaker 2: I don't know, I just look, I mean, gosh, I mean,
Speaker 2: I'm you know, there are things that like I'm actually
Speaker 2: seeing a nutritionist towards the end of this month because
Speaker 2: I know I'm a vegetary, I'm a pescatarian, but I
Speaker 2: don't eat the way I know I really need to
Speaker 2: to really nourish myself because of what I don't eat.
Speaker 2: And so I'm like, you know what, I'm fifty, I
Speaker 2: really need to get on top of this, Like I can't.
Speaker 2: It's you know, if not now when kind of thing.
Speaker 2: And so I know what to do, and I know
Speaker 2: I could, you know, I know what to do. I
Speaker 2: just I think I just want to have accountability, be
Speaker 2: responsible to someone, have someone to keep coming back to.
Speaker 2: I also want to talk about supplementation and all of
Speaker 2: those sorts of things. But yeah, I really like that
Speaker 2: we've been able to talk about this today because I
Speaker 2: hope that this might just be the episode where there's
Speaker 2: a listener going right, that's me. I'll put my hand up.
Speaker 2: We can all put a hand up and say, look,
Speaker 2: you know, there's something I'd like to do differently, but
Speaker 2: we can't keep putting it off. We just have to
Speaker 2: add it in. Start small. But we have to know
Speaker 2: where we want to start first, and once you've kind
Speaker 2: of got a good understanding of why that's important to you,
Speaker 2: not for other people, not because you want to put
Speaker 2: it on social media, not because it sounds impressive. What
Speaker 2: do you want to do for you that will help
Speaker 2: fulfill something that's missing in your life. I hope that
Speaker 2: this is the episode that really makes a difference. And
Speaker 2: I hope too that when it does make a difference,
Speaker 2: that your DM harps and let him know.
Speaker 1: Better than that. Go to the U Project Facebook group
Speaker 1: and leave me a message in there. Do that, yes,
Speaker 1: because I don't always check my dms, and I think
Speaker 1: you know what's interesting is I told you about the
Speaker 1: seven day kickstart, right, So I wanted to do this
Speaker 1: thing for this very reason, just to help people create
Speaker 1: a bit of momentum, because sometimes it's just hard to
Speaker 1: get started. And I fully acknowledge that. I'm like, all right,
Speaker 1: well let me help, and let me help in a
Speaker 1: practical way. What is interesting is we had I'm not
Speaker 1: exactly sure, but it's around three hundred people go, right,
Speaker 1: I'm in seven days, I'm in, I'm doing it. And
Speaker 1: I would say in the seven days, one hundred and
Speaker 1: fifty people dropped off. Now think about think about that.
Speaker 1: Maybe a little less, but yeah, I find and by
Speaker 1: the way, there's no criticism. This is just not this
Speaker 1: is what fascinates me. Like, I am curious. I'm like,
Speaker 1: here's a guy that you follow because the only way
Speaker 1: that you got involved is because you follow me. You
Speaker 1: choose to listen to me and read me and follow me.
Speaker 1: And then and you listen to me. I guess because
Speaker 1: you want to think do be better on some level,
Speaker 1: because I'm a personal development, human behavior, self helpy psychology guy. Right,
Speaker 1: So I'm guessing you listen not because I'm fucking hilarious.
Speaker 1: Although that's a good reason because I'm fucking out there
Speaker 1: just kidding, but because people want to change in some way.
Speaker 1: So then you go, all right, well, here's the thing
Speaker 1: you can get involved in. It's not hard. It's not hard.
Speaker 1: There's fifteen different options. Some of them are physical, some
Speaker 1: of them are not. You don't need to leave home,
Speaker 1: you don't need to be a bloody astrophysicist to figure
Speaker 1: it out. And some of them you can do as
Speaker 1: little as three minutes a day. There's fourteen hundred and
Speaker 1: forty minutes in a day. You can do as little
Speaker 1: as three minutes a day. Some of them are up
Speaker 1: to an hour or more. It's up to you. But
Speaker 1: it's all optional. And three hundred or so people when
Speaker 1: I'm in I'm doing it, and then you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: less than half, Like we're probably about one fifty give
Speaker 1: or take. We'll sign in today. Today's the last day
Speaker 1: of the is it today? Yeah? Thursday is the last day,
Speaker 1: day seven of the seven, right, So the deal is
Speaker 1: every day. People who've done it, Jody, they go to
Speaker 1: the page, so you project Facebook page, and they underneath
Speaker 1: the post where I've got a basically a white board
Speaker 1: drawing that says day one, day, two day, whatever, So
Speaker 1: up today as day seven. Check in underneath that they
Speaker 1: just put at the very least they write completed. That's
Speaker 1: their accountability. And then if they want they can write
Speaker 1: what they learned or what they did or ask someone
Speaker 1: else a question. And we've literally gone from three hundred
Speaker 1: to one fifty in a week. And so this is
Speaker 1: I mean, this is the thing. And like I said,
Speaker 1: no judgment there everybody. That's just data. That's not an opinion,
Speaker 1: that's data. So for me, it is wow, what has
Speaker 1: to happen. The program's free, The program's easy. Every day
Speaker 1: there's a video from me that's also free, where there's information, inspiration,
Speaker 1: education every day. There's a program that honestly takes me
Speaker 1: about an hour to design the day before because I
Speaker 1: need to really think it through because such a broad
Speaker 1: cross section of humans involved. Yeah, I mean this is
Speaker 1: the thing that I don't think the challenge for you
Speaker 1: or I mean your job and my job in a
Speaker 1: way is educate, in form inspire. Maybe and this is
Speaker 1: going to sound really like I'm throwing you and me
Speaker 1: under the bus, But it's not the key. Like it's
Speaker 1: not the key, because if it was the key. People
Speaker 1: would only need to listen or read once and they'd
Speaker 1: be fucking doing it. What fascinates me is not can
Speaker 1: I talk well? Can I share good ideas and stories?
Speaker 1: Because I can do that. I don't think I'm the best,
Speaker 1: but I can do it. What fascinates me is how
Speaker 1: the fuck do I help people to genuinely help themselves
Speaker 1: and to stop being the person who's perpetually saying either
Speaker 1: literally or metaphorically, not now but soon. That's the you know,
Speaker 1: It's like, have a look think about in the last
Speaker 1: twenty years. I'll shut up after this and let you talk.
Speaker 1: How much has obesity and overweight and poor health and
Speaker 1: and all you know, diabetes and blood pressure and insulin
Speaker 1: resistance and all of those things has gone through the
Speaker 1: roof at the same time as has research and information
Speaker 1: and education and weight loss books and fat loss books
Speaker 1: and nutrition and ex like, we've got more information and
Speaker 1: education and research than ever and more people like you
Speaker 1: and me like voices crying in the wilderness. Yet things
Speaker 1: aren't going backwards. And if I was really throwing myself
Speaker 1: under the bus, I would put up my hand and
Speaker 1: I will and go, hey, everyone, I'm not the fucking answer.
Speaker 1: And I'm going to say at the same time, you
Speaker 1: are the answer. On planet you, you are the problem
Speaker 1: and you are the solution because only you can get
Speaker 1: in your way. Yes, there'll be other variables, I get that,
Speaker 1: but beyond that, like nobody's making you stay in bed,
Speaker 1: nobody's making you eat cake, nobody's making you have a
Speaker 1: good or a bad attitude. Nobody's making you avoid that
Speaker 1: decision or make that decision. Nobody's making you go to
Speaker 1: the gym or avoid the gym. Right, Like, ultimately, how
Speaker 1: do you I mean, I know you don't have an
Speaker 1: answer because I don't know. Maybe you do. Like what
Speaker 1: happens next after all the information and inspiration?
Speaker 2: I think that it's got to come. I mean, it's
Speaker 2: it's easy for us all to be inspired. And I
Speaker 2: know I hear you, you know, when we've spoken at
Speaker 2: your events together, and I hear you sort of saying,
Speaker 2: so many of you will hear all this and you'll
Speaker 2: be inspired, but you won't do anything. You won't make
Speaker 2: any change, you know, And that's that's just the that's
Speaker 2: just the way that often this kind of format of
Speaker 2: information lands for people they're inspired. Yes, I want that,
Speaker 2: absolutely but at the end of the day, there's no
Speaker 2: one coming to check the scoresheet, there's no one coming
Speaker 2: to check your homework. There's there's it comes. It comes
Speaker 2: down to an intrinsic motivation. But I think we all
Speaker 2: need to have a reason. We all need to look
Speaker 2: for and find and name the reason for making change.
Speaker 2: But you know, we also know, Craig, that some people
Speaker 2: will have a terminal diagnosis and can be told you
Speaker 2: drink another drop of alcohol, your liver is gone. You
Speaker 2: don't give up smoking, you don't change your diet. If
Speaker 2: you don't do these things. These are the things you
Speaker 2: can do, and this will prolong your life. You'll be healthier,
Speaker 2: you'll be happy, you might even you know, live an
Speaker 2: indefinite amount of time. People still won't make change. It
Speaker 2: is perplexing. But we can only look at this through
Speaker 2: the lens that we each have. And that's a product
Speaker 2: of our upbringing, the way we've been raised, the way
Speaker 2: we've been taught to look at the world, and the
Speaker 2: way we've been to ought to think, and our experiences.
Speaker 2: And I think just some some people just feel hopeless.
Speaker 2: And I think because it takes time, you know, I
Speaker 2: think I think of the person who is really struggling
Speaker 2: with their weight. And I did work on a when
Speaker 2: I was an exercise physiologist, I worked on the Phoenix program.
Speaker 2: I was the lead x FIZZ for a group of
Speaker 2: twelve people who were obese and was supported with x
Speaker 2: FIZZ with psychology with the doctor dietitian all all of
Speaker 2: the pieces of kind of like the weight loss puzzle
Speaker 2: that was fully supported and well connected with us, and
Speaker 2: we spent a lot of time together. And I remember
Speaker 2: one of the participants telling me how and she'd she'd
Speaker 2: been a victim of sexual abuse. She she had a
Speaker 2: self loathing, a really you know, a really really difficult life,
Speaker 2: and you know, she said she'd sometimes go and she'd
Speaker 2: buy all of these things at the market that would
Speaker 2: you add to the weight problem. But she'd thrown a
Speaker 2: nice berg lettuce to kind of as if to kind
Speaker 2: of say to the person at the register, Hey, I
Speaker 2: still do eat some healthy food, because it was just
Speaker 2: so embarrassing to have to purchase it. And she shared
Speaker 2: a lot of the challenges that she was facing around
Speaker 2: even just wiping herself when she would go to the toilet,
Speaker 2: tying her shoelaces, having sex, all sorts, of things that
Speaker 2: were really challenging in a really big body, and the
Speaker 2: thing about going from there to a healthier place, it
Speaker 2: takes a lot of work and it takes a lot
Speaker 2: of time, and it's hard to kind of see the
Speaker 2: progress and get that reward for the effort. And you know,
Speaker 2: I think that that's one of the things. And when
Speaker 2: I used to work as a pet, I'd say, look,
Speaker 2: you know, I'd get it. They wouldn't think I would
Speaker 2: get it because I was always in a very you know,
Speaker 2: ectomorphic kind of body. But it takes a long time
Speaker 2: for it to come on. It's going to take a
Speaker 2: long time for it to come off. And want it
Speaker 2: to be sustainable, but sometimes I think it it's just
Speaker 2: this idea that you can't compete yourself yesterday to today,
Speaker 2: when you've gone for a walk or you've changed. It's
Speaker 2: got to be about the long game. And we're in
Speaker 2: a life in an environment where we just want those
Speaker 2: quick rewards. Everything's at our fingertips and we want that
Speaker 2: quick kind of feel good reinforcement. And you know, there's
Speaker 2: so many factors that do kind of roll into these challenges,
Speaker 2: but you know in my mind that there's some of them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, you make really valid points, like the you
Speaker 1: know that the person who's been a victim of sexual
Speaker 1: assault who they simultaneously want to get in shape but
Speaker 1: also not be attractive, you know sometimes because if I'm attractive,
Speaker 1: then I'm going to be vulnerable and I'm maybe going
Speaker 1: to be hurt, and so there's this dichotomy, there's these
Speaker 1: conflicting kind of feelings and goals. Yeah, that is you
Speaker 1: make a really valid point. And this is I mean,
Speaker 1: it's complicated. It's complicated. Like when I go one hundred
Speaker 1: and fifty people jumped out, I'm not saying they're bad
Speaker 1: or weak. I'm saying I'm interested in that. I'm curious,
Speaker 1: you know, and that Yeah, look, I think sometimes for
Speaker 1: whatever reason, like and even I mean, at the risk
Speaker 1: of me banging on about me, but everyone knows, like
Speaker 1: I was in there out of shape until I was
Speaker 1: about thirty five, and I already owned three gyms, four
Speaker 1: gym by the time I was and I was still
Speaker 1: eating shits and lying about and you know, like like
Speaker 1: a little bloody squirrel just heading off with my I
Speaker 1: was going to say, my nuts, that sounds bad, heading
Speaker 1: off with my whatever at my little snacks that I
Speaker 1: wouldn't let people see because I didn't want people to
Speaker 1: know what was really going on. And what was really
Speaker 1: going on was I was eating shit that I would
Speaker 1: tell other people not to eat because I didn't have
Speaker 1: I didn't have it together, you know. So it is
Speaker 1: indeed complicated and multi dimensional. It's emotional, it's psychological, it's
Speaker 1: it's physiological. I feel this was I don't know if
Speaker 1: we helped anyone, but I feel I was really interested
Speaker 1: in this chat.
Speaker 2: Me too, and I think I think, I think this
Speaker 2: will be really helpful. I genuinely do I think that.
Speaker 2: I mean, I always sort of think it's really it's
Speaker 2: really nice that you don't feel alone, you don't feel
Speaker 2: alone on this battle. And there'll be people listening like that,
Speaker 2: they'll be listenings going, oh yeah, I'm the one of
Speaker 2: the ones that didn't check in. I didn't I didn't
Speaker 2: complete the challenge. And if nothing else, like awareness is
Speaker 2: the first awareness is the first step to change. Just
Speaker 2: even just reflect what, Okay, you've pulled out of the challenge,
Speaker 2: no judgment, just reflect on why why did you start? What?
Speaker 2: What what were you hoping to get out of it?
Speaker 2: Why did you stop? You know, I recently made a
Speaker 2: change Craig. My boys play cricket. My husband and my
Speaker 2: son play cricket, and every Saturday I was kind of like,
Speaker 2: and at daughter is off and off socializing and things.
Speaker 2: And because I'm running the house, doing all the uber
Speaker 2: driving for the kids and sort of juggling a lot
Speaker 2: of balls. There's a lot of women listening, will understand,
Speaker 2: plus running my own business and all of that, I
Speaker 2: was using Saturday to catch up on work, right, And
Speaker 2: I thought, then it just occurred to me. I didn't
Speaker 2: realize a couple of weeks ago he was in a
Speaker 2: final and I was like, really felt so much regret
Speaker 2: that I wasn't there, And I thought, what am I doing?
Speaker 2: Like the work can wait. He's sixteen, he's an adult,
Speaker 2: He's eighteen next May. I don't have that much, you know,
Speaker 2: I've got one more main summer with him, probably before
Speaker 2: he's driving. And like my motivation, even though like it
Speaker 2: helps me catch up, I get more of my ducks
Speaker 2: in the same pond, never in a row, but I
Speaker 2: kind of it does help me. But I'm like, what's
Speaker 2: more important here? And I think sometimes if we can
Speaker 2: face the reality of the situation and the decisions, like
Speaker 2: I thought, I don't feel good about this at all.
Speaker 2: I feel pretty shit about this actually, because my parents
Speaker 2: are always at my sport. Peter is at his own game,
Speaker 2: but our son is at a different field because they
Speaker 2: play separately. So I'm thinking, oh, the boys are at
Speaker 2: cricket together, but they're not. And so I mean I
Speaker 2: sat in my I took the dog for a huge
Speaker 2: walk and then sat in my car watching a game
Speaker 2: a couple of weeks ago for three hours and he
Speaker 2: didn't even get a bat. So I sat there for
Speaker 2: three hours and didn't get to see. But I'm like,
Speaker 2: you know what, I Sometimes we have to make sacrifices.
Speaker 2: We have to think, right, what can I let go
Speaker 2: of to make room for something else? Because what if
Speaker 2: I was to put it in a hierarchy, what is
Speaker 2: more important? And so perhaps I do think. I do
Speaker 2: think it's been such a good conversation and it's got
Speaker 2: you and I thinking, and I think other people will
Speaker 2: be reflecting in their own way as well.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I love it as you were talking well,
Speaker 1: or you can add it at the end if you like.
Speaker 1: But I was thinking about, you know, the people who
Speaker 1: jumped out and the people who didn't jump out, And again,
Speaker 1: like Jodie said, there's no judgment, just love. Do the
Speaker 1: next one. If you like or don't still love you,
Speaker 1: still want you to be on board, if you want
Speaker 1: to be on board. But I was thinking about I
Speaker 1: have this little process when I'm when I'm going to
Speaker 1: not do something, and my default question is is this
Speaker 1: a reason or an excuse? Because I can't speak on
Speaker 1: behalf of you or anyone else, but at least fifty
Speaker 1: percent of the time in my life when I'm calling
Speaker 1: something a reason, it's not a reason. It's not it's
Speaker 1: just me trying to because if something's a reason, then
Speaker 1: it's legit and I don't have to change it's legit.
Speaker 1: This is real. There's no way I could have done this.
Speaker 1: It's not the you know. But then when I kind
Speaker 1: of go, okay, am I kind of just bullshitting myself
Speaker 1: to make myself feel better about what I'm not doing.
Speaker 1: I don't know if anyone else wants to use that,
Speaker 1: but for me, it's a good litmus test to kind
Speaker 1: of lean into that is and there's been times when
Speaker 1: I couldn't. You know. It's like I spoke the other
Speaker 1: day about there's a book that I really want to
Speaker 1: write that's just sitting on my you know, the top
Speaker 1: shelf in my brain or right up the back. But
Speaker 1: I just genuinely don't have time at the moment. I
Speaker 1: want to write it, but I've got so many things
Speaker 1: going on. So that's a reason. Like, hey, Craig, whilere
Speaker 1: you're doing a PhD and seven podcasts a week and
Speaker 1: two or three corporate gigs a week, and you know,
Speaker 1: looking after your parents who are in their mid eighties
Speaker 1: and doing all these other things and training every day
Speaker 1: for an hour and a half, it's probably writing a book.
Speaker 1: Is this is not the time? But there'll be a time.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And there are other things where I'm like, you know, uh,
Speaker 3: you know, I should really I should have a conversation
Speaker 3: with that person, but oh, you know, I don't.
Speaker 1: I think that it might not be a good time
Speaker 1: or whatever, right, And it's bullshit because I just don't
Speaker 1: want to have some conversation. And I'm trying to rationalize
Speaker 1: to me and make me feel good about what I've
Speaker 1: already decided. Right, So I'm not the problem. Oh, I'm
Speaker 1: not the problem. This is just how it is. But
Speaker 1: when I lean in and I go listen, put your
Speaker 1: ego to one side, put all that bullshit, all that
Speaker 1: you bullshit aside. You know that this is just an excuse.
Speaker 1: I just don't want to do it. And I'm trying
Speaker 1: to explain to myself and anyone else who will listen,
Speaker 1: why this is not an excuse.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I think it's a really simple, easy to
Speaker 2: remember question we can all ask ourselves. Is it a
Speaker 2: reason or is it an excuse? Like you got me
Speaker 2: thinking about my back, I'm like, I mean, I definitely
Speaker 2: have problems with my lumbar spine. At the moment, I'm like, well, no,
Speaker 2: I shouldn't be a CrossFit. I can't do the things
Speaker 2: I need to do a CrossFit CrossFit. That's a reason
Speaker 2: I'll be back next week. But it's I can still
Speaker 2: walk every day, which is what I've been doing. I
Speaker 2: can still walk. But yeah, there are so many other
Speaker 2: things where you know, you got me thinking too about Netflix.
Speaker 2: Like I love Netflix. I like, as an anxious person
Speaker 2: who's very busy, it is just my time to just
Speaker 2: switch off. It's very relaxing for me. I look forward
Speaker 2: to watching certain shows. But you know, when we think
Speaker 2: about the things that we also want to do, you know,
Speaker 2: sometimes there are places in our day where we can
Speaker 2: fit that one little extra thing in just by letting
Speaker 2: go of a little bit of something else. And I
Speaker 2: think that this all or nothing mentality can often get
Speaker 2: in the way as well, this idea that I can't
Speaker 2: go to the gym and do a class three times
Speaker 2: a week, I can't train ninety minutes a day lifting
Speaker 2: weights like Carps does. But when we kind of realize that,
Speaker 2: you know, it's we can start to alter the way
Speaker 2: we think about ourselves and how we see ourselves, our identity,
Speaker 2: just by doing something small consistently, and the idea of
Speaker 2: you know, when I was fasting a couple of days
Speaker 2: a week, Craig and I'd go to CrossFit and I'd
Speaker 2: be just exhausted, and I wouldn't be able to perform well,
Speaker 2: and I was just not fueling myself properly, I don't think,
Speaker 2: and really struggling. And again, you know, I read online
Speaker 2: somewhere it might have even been Adam Grant said, the
Speaker 2: process of just showing up, even though you just don't
Speaker 2: feel like you've got much, just reinforces this identity. I'm
Speaker 2: a person who looks after myself. I'm a person who
Speaker 2: moves my body every day. And so I guess my
Speaker 2: invitation to anyone listening is think of that big thing.
Speaker 2: Nothing big is achieved in a day, but like you
Speaker 2: and your PhD and man, I'm looking forward to our
Speaker 2: celebration when you hand that thing in such a good feeling,
Speaker 2: hand over those thess, over that counter, leather bound. It's
Speaker 2: going to be a really big moment. Craig. It's like
Speaker 2: it is. The time will pass anyway. We've both said
Speaker 2: that before. You're going to be sixty one, doctor Craig Harper,
Speaker 2: and you would have been sixty one anyway. I mean
Speaker 2: you are sixty one anyway, So think about it. Set
Speaker 2: aside some time to reflect, think what is it I'm
Speaker 2: putting off? Why am I doing it? Isn't an excuse?
Speaker 2: Is it a reason? And how small can I start?
Speaker 2: Break it down? If the first step feels too big,
Speaker 2: break it down? Yeah, I'm excited. I'm excited for listeners, Craig,
Speaker 2: because I think this is really it's really a conversation
Speaker 2: worth having. Wasn't what we planned on talking about today,
Speaker 2: But I'm so glad we landed here.
Speaker 1: Wasn't It wasn't. Now I've got I'm not going to
Speaker 1: open the door, and but I know what I want
Speaker 1: to talk to you about next time. Right. So you
Speaker 1: were just talking about lying on your ass watching Netflix.
Speaker 1: Me too, fucking love it. It's like it's like my
Speaker 1: little happy place. I can. I don't know why, but
Speaker 1: I have an amazing ability listen to me pumping up
Speaker 1: my own tires to just switch off from everything. Because
Speaker 1: my office is next door to my bedroom, I could
Speaker 1: go in. And also, like yesterday, I got up at
Speaker 1: three thirty, right, I started work at three thirty, so,
Speaker 1: and I finished last night at maybe eight thirty, right,
Speaker 1: But I do you know, But then there'll be times
Speaker 1: where I go, oh, it's one o'clock. I'm going to
Speaker 1: lie in my bed for an hour and watch something stupid.
Speaker 1: But I can because I've already worked six seven, eight hours. Right.
Speaker 1: But I did a podcast a few weeks ago which
Speaker 1: I think is a night that you will like to
Speaker 1: lean into. And the title of the podcast was an
Speaker 1: Unambitious Life. I feel like we're all just pushed with
Speaker 1: ambition and drive and crushing and grinding and killing, and
Speaker 1: like does that equal better? Does that equal happy? Which
Speaker 1: is what we're going to talk about. Does that equal
Speaker 1: fulfillment and my speculation, my theory, your honor is that no,
Speaker 1: often not sometimes, But like, I think it's good to
Speaker 1: have goals and a dream and all of those things.
Speaker 1: But I also think sometimes you go, you know, what
Speaker 1: what if this year? What if this month I'm just
Speaker 1: in autopilot? What if this month I'm just like, I'm
Speaker 1: not fucking striving and grinding and hustling, and I'm not
Speaker 1: ambitious and I'm not killing it. And what if I'm
Speaker 1: just fucking grateful. What if I'm just in the middle
Speaker 1: of my really good life and my really good relations chips.
Speaker 1: What if I'm just like just bobbing up and down
Speaker 1: like a little fucking thing on the water and I'm good, Like,
Speaker 1: what if I don't have to swim like a motherfucker
Speaker 1: for the next wave. What if I just fucking bob
Speaker 1: up and down here? So let's talk about the unambitious
Speaker 1: life or that next time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I wouldn't mind a bit of bobbing, I tell you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, too much. Chasing the waves, Dr Jodie, where can
Speaker 1: people find you? Follow you? What's your home address and
Speaker 1: your personal phone?
Speaker 3: Up?
Speaker 2: A look, Craig, always an absolute pleasure LinkedIn Dr Jody
Speaker 2: Richardson Instagram Dr Jodi Richardson, and of course the website
Speaker 2: is the same Jody with an Eye. I heard people
Speaker 2: talking the other day on the Light Craig on Lucy
Speaker 2: and Cowe. We're talking about Jodi being a very old
Speaker 2: fashioned name. I can't stop thinking about that every time
Speaker 2: I say it. But that's the I was given and
Speaker 2: that's where you'll find me.
Speaker 1: Well, it definitely doesn't rate compared with Craig, so it
Speaker 1: could have been worse. And also Jody has our own podcast.
Speaker 1: It's called well Hello Anxiety, so have a listen to that.
Speaker 1: It's very good. Jod's love your guards. Thank you so much.
Speaker 2: As always, Thanks Craig, see you next time.